Watch What Crappens - #75: The Bitch Disease and Sad Boring White Guys

Episode Date: May 15, 2013

On this week's Watch What Crappens, Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TVgasm) talk crap about The Real Housewives of Orange County's Tamra's newly discovered bitch disease, Married to Medicine's drunken trip to Little Caesar's, and Million Dollar Listing New York's obsession with bad acting and showing us butts that no one needs to see. Come on in! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Spring is here, you know, because everybody on the street is freaking crazy. I got told off by a lady at Whole Foods yesterday. I got called a crazy F-word today at Starbucks. A lady's dog bit me and then said she didn't owe me an apology.

And a bus almost ran me over. And I think it's because of the heat. Yeah. Well, you know what? I think you need something to make you feel better, Ronnie. Nothing could make me feel better. Nothing! Oh, I think something could something to make you feel better, Ronnie. Nothing could make me feel better. Nothing. Oh, I think something could.

You know what? I bet if I sent you some giant dipped strawberries from Shari's Berries for only $19.99. Shari's Berries? That would make you feel better. That's a 40% savings, Ronnie. Especially if you go to berries.com, click on the microphone, and type in WATCH. W-A-T-C-H. Oh, my God.

And you know what? What? For our listeners, double the berries for just $10 more. Oh my God, that's a lot more berries. Maybe I should order some berries and throw in a few extra tens. And that way I can get some berries for the old lady who told me off on the Whole Foods and the bus man who almost drove me over and the crazy person who called me a crazy F-word at Starbucks.

Yeah, exactly. And, you know, when you get those berries, they can come covered in chocolate and have, like, decorative swizzle and they're juicy and they're good for birthdays and anniversaries or, you know, just because. There's only one way to get this special, though. 1999. Shari's Berries. Go to berries.com. B-E-R-R-I-E-S.com.

Click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in watch. That's all you got to do. Don't wait. Order now. Yeah, guys. Get those berries hey everyone welcome to watch what crap ends a weekly podcast about all that crap on bravo that we love i'm ben mandelkersideblog.com and joining me this week is Ronnie Karam from tvgasm.com Hi Ronnie. Well hello Benjamin.

Ronnie can be found at tvgasm on Twitter and at Ronnie Karam on Instagram. You can find me at bsideblog on both of those platforms. Missing this week is our birthday boy Matt Whitfield who I think he just had

too much cake and is lying comatose at the door of Cafes trying to get in and get some sort of makeover. Yeah, Matt doesn't eat cake because he's anorexic now, but we did send him cupcakes made out of fingernails. So hopefully he had a good time. I hope he ate them and threw them up. You know, I hear it's a personal struggle of his for the past 20 years, much like Carrie from Married to Medicine.

We love you, Matt. We love you. Happy birthday. We love you, Matt. And we hope you're enjoying your week off from the podcast. That's our birthday gift to you. You don't have to talk to us. So anyway, follow us, everyone, on Facebook.

Facebook.com forward slash watch what crap happens you have to follow we just are putting up so much bonus content if you're one of those people and we get a lot of them who are like oh my god when's it going to be Wednesday already we can't wait for the next podcast just go

to our Facebook page there's plenty of stuff to tide you over yeah right let's talk about some TV gossip okay go to our Facebook page. There's plenty of stuff to tide you over. Yeah. Right, Ronnie? Yeah, let's talk about some TV gossip. Okay. Okay. I was going to talk about the fact that, Ronnie, you and I went to TJ Maxx and to Marshall's this weekend

and found all sorts of great stuff from the Gretchen Christine collection. Yes, yes. You got some very good pictures of a lot of the stuff that we saw, and I actually understand a little bit better now why there are no Housewives in Glendale. Yeah. Because the TJ Maxx's are not very good over there. Awful. I was disappointed. I'm not going to lie.

I bought a lollipop and it was so poorly designed. There was like a hole in the bottom of it where the stick was. And so it collected all this spit and then the spit started coming off the stick, which you saw. To be fair, you bought that lollipop at Staples and everyone knows you don't get lollipops at Staples. You get staplers at Staples. Then why are secretaries all fat?

Well, they go to like Cinnabons after Staples. I'm just kidding, secretaries. You're not even allowed to say secretary anymore. There's no such thing. They're all assistants. Oh, really? We call ours a production coordinator, and I think that's some bullshit. I think she even makes less money than a secretary because she has a fancier title.

Like, let's just be secretaries again and make more money. That's great. Exactly. Exactly. So I guess let's get to some gossip. You seem like you're ready to roll. Well, also, if you go shopping at those places, do not go with Michelle Collins. Exactly, exactly. So I guess let's get to some gossip. You seem like you're ready to roll. Well, also, if you go shopping at those places, do not go with Michelle Collins because she will take stuff out of your hands and tell you it's ugly.

And you will end up buying nothing except lollipops and jelly bellies. No, no, no. Michelle has very good taste and she was doing you a favor. She was preventing you. Listen, we didn't want you to turn up like Gretchen. The point is, if you're being a TJ Maxx-inista, you're supposed to be discerning. You're supposed to wade through the crap. You're supposed to find

the gems. You're not just supposed to take the very first plaid shirt you find. They were $10! They were $10! Well, she made it up by making me laugh the whole time. She's hilarious. Everyone should follow Mishkal on Twitter. You really should.

She's funnier. If you guys think we're funny, we're not funny at all, actually. But Michelle Collins is funnier than all of us combined times 10. Yeah, and she'll tweet you about how ugly your clothes are. So I'm looking on the Internet for some Real Housewives news right now. And Bravo has announced today, I believe it's today, today's the 14th, right? Yeah, more or less. Is it, though? What day is it?

It is the 14th. I think, by the way, Ronnie. What? Today's May 14th, and this should be a special day for you. It's one for me, I just realized. What is it? It's the nine-year anniversary of the inception of TVgasm. Well, happy birthday, Benjamin and Rondall.

Happy birthday to you, too. For those who don't know, I started TVgasm with my friend Joe Fahs. I was B-side on there. Joe was J-unit. That's why B-side blog. I don't write about music. It's B-side blog because it's a reference to my name on TVgasm. We did it for like three years. We left.

Ronnie took over and now Ronnie is the king of TVgasm. Wow, you were there three years and I'm there six? I feel really sad. Anyone out there with a job for me, tweet me. I'm like Chevy Chase. I was only on one year of SNL, but everyone just reminds me

from all the good old years. I was only on for one year. I was only on one year of SNL but everyone just reminds me from all the good old years but I was only on for one year I was only on for very little bit well happy birthday TVgasm wowee can you believe it? next year is the 10 year birthday of TVgasm

unfreaking believable oh my god okay I'm looking for a job anybody out there come on our Facebook and give me some offers. Yeah. Okay, so it's May 14th, so we're not the only ones with an anniversary. The Real Housewives of Orange County are about to have their 100th episode special on Monday, June 24th. And they are going to do a two-hour special interviewing housewives to see how the show has

impacted humanity huh negatively i think well it's boosted tj max sales that's for sure yeah a lot of ceramic roosters have been sold i know it's really been a boon to the um hanging wall art of uh coffee served here posters yes lots i don't even know if that was proper grammar, everyone, but thanks for just staying along with me on that sentence. It's very strangely worded. Lots of fake plastic portraits that say Paris on them. A lot of ceramic chefs holding up either wooden spoons or platters and whatnot.

Yes, there has to be something for the poor people in Ross Dress for us to throw on the ground indiscriminately. And you know what? God bless them. They've kept it coming. Thanks, Real Housewives. Thanks. Thanks for all the memories.

So, yeah, I don't know how it has impacted the world. I know how it's impacted me. I've gained and lost probably about 400 pounds since these shows started. I've thrown a lot of vitriol towards middle-aged women that I don't know. And I've become kind of scared of females in general. I'll tell you what I've learned. Um, I ha I have learned that I've, I hate orange County way more than I ever thought I did. Um, I learned that quag is a place that no one ever wants to go out on Long Island

I've learned that Miami is a place where I want to go immediately and talk to all the old women which of course I learned that with the Golden Girl but it's sort of reiterated for me this time let's see I've learned that anyone can start up anything

if you want to sing a song go ahead you can do it it's very empowering I've learned. If you want to sing a song, go ahead. You can do it. It's very empowering. Listen, if you like clothes, if you like looking at catalogs, you can start a fashion line. If you like food, start a restaurant.

And if you have the same letter, if your first name is the same letter as some sort of alcoholic beverage, like Vicky's Vodka, you can start an alcoholic beverage company. I know. That was creative, right? She's like, get it? Because they both have V's.

They both have V's. V is for vagina. Vagina vodka. Yeah. Thank God she doesn't have, like, she's not named with an M because then she'd just have, like, Midori. That's not going off the rails. Madeline's Midori. Yeah. That's just Midori. That's not going off the shelves. Madeline's Midori. Yeah, yeah.

That's just not something that's going to fly off the shelves. No, I don't think so. I don't think so. So that's, I really don't have a ton of gossip today. The New York Housewives were trying to play hardball and not sign their contracts. Okay, anybody on a sinking ship, people with lifeboats, don't tell them, don't give them reasons that you're not going to get on their lifeboat. Get on the lifeboat.

Just get on it. Don't ask them for money to get on it. Just get on it. Sinking bitches. Who are you? You ain't the cast of Friends. People barely watch that bullshit last year, and you're asking for a raise?

No. No way. This is probably the biggest amount of hubris we've seen i would rather have all these women fired for their hubris and have jill zarin come back than to have them get raises for her own show i would rather have jill zarin have a show where she has ginger lick her nostril for an hour. I would rather have Jill Zarin just have a show where she calls small-time bloggers all day and lies about her past. I would rather see that. I would rather watch a show where Jill Zarin does things like wipes up spilled mineral oil or jumps out of planes, does basically things I really don't care about,

then watch these women get raises. I would rather watch Farrah Abraham's nasty vaginal sex tape with Jill Zarin as the replacement actress than see them get raises. I would like an hour where Jill Zarin tells me who Farrah Abraham is. And what she did to her to deserve her horrible, horrible mean tweets. I would like a show where Jill Zarin reenacts what it was like for Farrah Abraham to give birth to a baby,

but instead of a baby coming out of Jill Zarin, it's just ginger comes out of her badge. And I mean both the dog and the root. Oh, ginger. Poor little rip-off jiggy. You know, every time we really shit on Jill's errand, though, I do have to say, you know, she did come

on to our show, and you know, I have to give her a little bit of props for that, you know? I'm not going to totally slam her. I just want to hedge my bets when I talk about ginger her dog coming out of her vag you know she's always welcome back yeah yeah thanks ben you're the nice one you're the nice one by the way leah leah black if you're listening come back on our show leah for those listening at home who do not go to our Facebook page, Leah Black from Real Housewives of Miami posted on our Facebook page. So, I mean, I think that tells

you something. If you're not on our page, you should be. Yeah, she said we should do the lemon cleanse. I'm not doing the lemon cleanse, Leah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Leah. I'm not cleansing anything. I have enough diarrhea as it is. Love you, and Lord knows you're thinner than me, but I am not doing a cleanse.

Well, yeah, who knows? Maybe in 10 years I'll be changing my tune. But for right now, I sort of like doing the idea of just eating a lot instead. Well, I did a cleanse this year, and it was a 43-day water cleanse where all I had was water, and I'm a more horrible person for it. Yeah, that sounds like an awful idea, Ronnie. Like, at least most cleanses have things like cayenne pepper and

maple syrup in them, but yours is just straight up water. Yeah, mine was horrible. How did you not die? How did you not die? I felt so good. It was so nice not being a slave to food. And man, the second I had food again, forget it. I'm a slave again. But it made me a more horrible person, I have to say. And I also look, like, there are certain movements you do as a bigger person that you can get away with

that when you don't have the fat to back you up. The way I talk, I kind of have a twitch, I guess. But when I'm skinny, it's really pronounced. And I look kind of like I have palsy. And then I have a popsicle head. I'm going to be just kind of fat. I just want bigger arms. That's the goal. I want a popsicle head. I'm going to be just kind of fat. I just want bigger arms. Yeah.

That's the goal. I want bigger arms too. Yeah. I'm just changing the expectations of myself. Now I just want a job that's above minimum wage and decent arms. You know what? I'm really glad that we're working towards our goals of bigger arms by sitting here podcasting about middle-aged women on Bravo.

Girl, I just did some pull-ups while I watched Married to Medicine. I made it to 12. Thank you. Thank you. And to be fair, I went to the gym today. I did not see anyone from Vanderpump Rules, but I continue to see them on a regular basis. Oh, I saw someone from Vanderpump Rules the other day at the gym. I mean, I was outside the gym.

I wasn't in it. But the guy with the freckles who shaves his forehead. Oh, Tom. Yeah, he goes to Crunch now. So you see Vanderpump Rules definitely upped their paychecks because now he's not going to LA Fitness. I don't anticipate his Crunch membership lasting very long. Let's see what else happened someone uh and anna winter band chris jenner and real housewives from the met gala

ah but kim was allowed in um kim who kim kardashian gross. Wait, so not even someone, like, not a single Real Housewife. What about a former Real Housewife? I'm just reading headlines. I'm guessing that no women who stayed at home after marrying ugly rich men were allowed in. You know, of course, I'm just being real. What if that was it? I'm being ridiculous to say that they were ever invited in the first place. Yeah, what if she was, like, there?

No, I don't mean real housewives. I mean real housewives. Oh, like, actual women? Yeah, yeah. Anna Wintour. No, I thought you meant, like, I thought you meant that, like, Sheree Whitfield wasn't allowed on the vet gala. And I'm like, that's not fair. And then, like, wait a second.

She was never invited in the first place. That is what I meant. But I just think it would be funny if Anna Wintour was like, no women who stay at home with their babies are allowed into my party. Well, that's probably part of it, too. You know, there's I think the loose interpretations of it. It's like the Constitution. There's strict interpretation and there's loose. And I think that when it comes to Met Gala, they can they can go either way with it. and there's loose.

And I think that when it comes to Med Gala, they can go either way with it. Well, we were just talking about how the Real Housewives of New York were holding out for more money and they ended up signing. But Perez Helton, who is,

he's like, it's like reading 60 Minutes. He posted a tweet. Wait, who's this? Oh, Bravo dropped some serious news when they revealed, at this point, the returning cast members include Ramona, Sonia,

Carol, and Heather. So what about the Countess, and what about Aviva? This is not about Aviva. This is the children who have no contracts. Yeah, poor Aviva. Aviva, no one wants you back, sorry.

But we do want you, Countess, come back. First of all, I don't trust anything that Perez Hilton says, because I hate him. You do? Yeah, I do hate him. Do you hate him because he got skinny? Tell me the truth. No, actually, I hate him not so much because he got skinny, but because he now walks around with his nips out everywhere, as if anyone wants to see that, because the truth is thiserez you're not that attractive even with a good body i'm

sorry i'll be catty i'll just i'm gonna go there and i'll do that because press hilton you used to steal stuff from tvgasm as long as this is the uh the birthday of tvgasm we would write something then he would take it and not credit us and he would just pass it off as his own and i think that's not fair i have journalistic integrity that is super classy i just totally um copy and pasted something from entertainment weekly today for tvgasm so you see it's like karmic it's all coming back like tvgasm is now turned into that so yeah there you go there you have it it was just a schedule though i put my own opinion on it. Okay, everybody. Okay, stop judging me. Why do I have to admit every bad thing I do?

I've always been like that. It's a very confessional podcast. Yeah. I hate that about me. We have thoughts about things. So people, TMZ, who is really, really, really someone to listen to because they're like the biggest. really really someone to listen to because they're like the biggest um they're reporting that casey casem's wife jean casem is claiming that she is in talks with bravo to join the beverly hills housewives cast which i just can't see that um i am totally down for that you know why

casey casem's mansion went on the market about a month ago if you go on to curbed la i'll try to put the link up after the podcast this mansion is crazy it's batshit crazy it's like it makes liberace look demure yeah this is a crazy crazy mansion so whatever lady presides over this crazy mansion has got to be bonkers herself so i want her on the real house well she is bonkers and she was on cheers in a in a small part she was nick tortelli's wife but then they had that spinoff called the tortellis and she was a bimbo wife and she was hilarious i was a kid when that came on but i loved it so much i was so sad when it got canceled because of her. She was so hysterical. Well, I'm excited for all Jean Kasem rumors. And I embrace them all.

I do too, but I think she's like 70, but maybe she'll be the new Adrienne. Listen, a wise man once said, keep your feet on the ground, but keep reaching for the stars. And I dedicate that to you, Jean Kas as a as a as a wise person once said she done told me i have hold my cup wrong i dedicate that to you toya from married to medicine as a wise woman once said i have came here so many times and I've never seen a drug kazar here before. So why is InTouch reporting, InTouch is reporting yesterday that NeNe Leakes is a lesbian because someone said it, because Portia Stewart said it. Way to be on the money there, InTouch.

That was like three weeks ago. Nice job. InTouch, more was like three weeks ago. Nice job. InTouch, more like out of touch. Hey! That's the sort of humor that made TVGaz and the beast that it is today. Wow. Sad you're still not here. Really sad.

So sad. So let me see what else. Lydia, is there something about Lydia? Oh no, I don't care. Why don't we just move on to one of these shows? I'm sick of the gossip. Why don't we just move on to one of these shows? I'm sick of the gossip. Okay. Why don't we start with Orange County?

Should we do that? You're a bitch. You really are. You're not performing. No, you're not performing. That was a really, really well-spoken fight. Yeah. Well, it's pretty much the most literate fight we've ever had on The Real Housewives of Orange

County, so I was impressed. I was impressed that it did not end in la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, which is what actually happened a few weeks ago. Yeah, this was actually a fairly interesting episode of the OC. Do you want to go in order? How do you want to tackle this episode? Yeah, let's go in order. Let me just say, first of all, that I'm really into the OC this season.

I think it's just got that vibe about it. The seasons that are good have a vibe where you care. Even on the dull episodes, you're just sort of in it. And I think the season has it. It's got the thing. So this episode started in the boudoir of the Dubrow boudoir. By the way, try to say that, Ronnie. Dubrow boudoir. Dubrow boudoir. Dubrow boudoir. By the way, try to say that, Ronnie. Dubrow boudoir.

Dubrow boudoir. Duh. I am – my system is restarting. I'm really glad that there's someone else having trouble talking because I've actually been Googling tongue surgery to see if someone can make my tongue smaller. It's too big for my mouth. I know. I have been slurring a lot or mumbling maybe more mumbling not slurring i slur i lisp my tongue i bite my tongue when i'm eating like it's too big i'm just finally gonna say it i think that god does mark all gay people with some fucked up mouth thing like that's why gay people lisp and talk funny and then that's why people beat them up and that's why gay people lisp and talk funny and then that's

why people beat them up and that's why they turn crazy like the the kid on that marriage show that newlywed show exactly okay so um so anyway um so basically terry what i was just saying that uh dubra boudoir oh yeah dubra boudoir i still can't say it i cannot say it um it will be that's my challenge is to say that tongue twister um but anyway so the uh that we were sort of rehashing the fight heather was basically brow beating terry again talking about how hot this is her hot in cleveland moment and it was just such as you know he was sort of like shitting on her and she's like you know I don't think you understand to these children I am a mother

I am a confidant I am a tutor you're being way too nice to Heather because it took five minutes to even get to that so let's reenact the scene do you want to be Heather or do you want to be Terry I'll be Terry because you're going to be funny as Heather

babe I'm really sorry oh really I'll be Terry because you're going to be funny as Heather. Okay. Babe, I'm really sorry. Oh, really? Why would you be sorry? I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. You know I was just joking. What were you joking about exactly?

Why would you be sorry and joking? I don't know what you mean. What were you joking about, Terry? I don't know. I just like to joke. I just thought it would be fun oh you thought it would be fun what would be fun joking what were you joking about terry what was it i just i was just making a joke just you know it's just a joke i'm sorry babe i'm sorry oh really you're sorry why are you sorry about joking what were you joking about and fun what were you having fun with? Joking. I am a mother. I am a mother. I am a cleaner. I'm a maid. I make dresses. I clean diapers. I wash windows. I tell people where to drive our children. I get gas for the car. I breathe air. In this home, I've changed an air filter, Terry. Do

you know what it's like to change an air filter in ceilings that high? Do you know what that's like, Terry? I'm sorry. I do. I do because I've done that, Terry. I have, I have, Terry, I have taken leaves from the sidewalk and I have kicked them back into the grass, Terry, for this family. For this family, Terry. You know, Ronnie, you're missing the key point which is that she's like

i am a laundress i am a mother i am a tutor i am a helper i am a friend i am a tutor i am a so wait did you just say tutor twice you know what that's it that's it by the way in my mind when i

watched it in my mind i was like she just said tutor a second time so when he said did you say tutor twice i was like first of all i was like oh no you shouldn't have said that i was like yes i was laughing so i actually clapped in my house for that because he was doing the same thing over and over that he does to her where he's just fucking with her with i'm sorry he does not mean it he's like hey babe i'm so sorry babe babe i'm sorry that's all i can say well why are you sorry terry i was a real butt the other day i want to be co-parents okay i want to be co-tutors i want to be co-mothers i

want to be co-tutors okay and he's like great as long as that means you do everything and i buy the mansion because i love that she's like I worked so hard for this family, Terry. You're living in a mansion that this man pays for with all the fake boobs he's installing every day. What do you mean he doesn't work? Well, this leads me to a wonderful rant. My friend Havarti is her online name. She left this comment on my Real Housewives of Orange County photo cap on my blog,

B-side blog, everyone should go. And she wrote this rant and I thought it was hilarious. So I'm going to read it back. Okay. She goes, This Heather Terry business

is rubbing me in all sorts of wrong ways. First, I kind of smell bullshit. Like they're inventing a storyline to make themselves interesting. That suspicion is due in part to the fact that Heather's complaints are pure selfish drivel. Yes, dummy. No one denies that tutoring, chauffeuring, laundering, Amen. four years of med school, five years of a residency, a fellowship, and then performing surgery, NBD, to provide an incredibly enviable lifestyle for your wife and four kids.

Oh, and added pressure? How about the fact that within all that, you're the sole wage earner, pending those hot in Cleveland residuals? Amen, sister. I totally feel that way. And I'm not saying that being a parent is an easy job especially to four kids right four i mean that's crazy yes she's tired her womb is tired everything about her is tired i get it i don't blame her but it's still your job i don't get to just go to my job and be like i'm gonna do a show next week for a week uh with like one line to betty white and

being paid five dollars for it and everybody here has to cover my work for me and not be pissed about it well and on top of that like this man truly has people's lives in his hands every single day something goes wrong and someone dies or someone's face is disfigured or they're facing a huge lawsuit every single day multiple times a day that's stressful allow him to crack a dumb joke once in a while well and don't marry and i agree with tamra which is rare but don't be don't be marrying someone who's a smart ass and they get mad that they're a smart ass exactly exactly she's like well he wasn't always like this well she he's probably like yeah she wasn't always like this too she used to probably be she used to be hot and young and funny and yes well

um to your friend's point as well which was was what was – I just wrote friend's point. What was the other point that she made? I don't remember. But we have a lot more of Terry and Heather's stuff. Oh, that it was all faked. Yeah. I totally agree because – okay. Here's the only evidence that I really need.

Terry was on the Swan. Okay? Yeah. that's really all we need to know that's all we need to know i mean you cannot be more of a reality whore than being the doctor who was on the first plastic surgery um like bachelor or whatever that was it wasn't even the bachelor that was just where ugly chicks went in and got like ripped apart and became other ugly chicks but made out of rubber that was the most horrifying reality show of all time oh my and that was terry so yeah he's a total whore i think that they're making it up too but they really need to watch out because that is just uncomfortable talking like that like well we'll get to that discussion we'll get to that

in a little bit so uh so we have this scene. And then we're back to Wines by Wives, the future wine club that's going to take America by storm. Now you can know which box wine is the best because Tamara and Vicky have curated through dozens and dozens of bins of Bartles and James and Franzia. Sutter Home Companion.

Frog Sleep. Oh no, that's actually a good one, isn't, Home Companion. Frogsleep. Oh, no, that's actually a good one, isn't it? Mad Dog. Frogsleep is delightful. Yeah, the Fresh and Easy brand surfboard or whatever. Yeah, Big Kahuna. Big Kahuna. Charles Buckley.

So here's what I love. I rant about this on my blog. So they decided to go up to Malibu to do some wine tasting. And Tamara's like, you know, I want to go to Napa or to mecula because they're kind of played out i'm like okay i get napa is played out to mecula is not played out yeah to mecula is not played out mecula does not have a presence in the world wine scene admittedly i'm not a huge on a file but i can tell you to mecula is they're they're not not lining up in Paris to get the new crates of wine that just came in from Temecula

and are they from Malibu? well Malibu's supposed to be pretty shitty too but the thing about Temecula is this I went there once about a year ago I actually went to Temecula for a corn maze which is reason enough if you ask me but then afterwards my friend and I were like

well let's go check out some of these wineries so we went we went to about three or four wineries all the wine was shit um one of the wineries was built to look sort of like a medieval castle they had gargoyles and griffins and like mythical sculptures everywhere which was like really strange it was the entire place every vineyard had the feeling as if Tamara Barney herself had decorated it and did it. Yikes. That was the taste level. All the women in there, it was like a sea of Tamras and Gretchen's.

These are the people who are walking to these places and think this is amazing wine. It's not. It's crap. Yeah. It didn't look like the classiest place in the world. And especially because no one really knows their wine so they're just all drinking it and kind of nodding at each other like what are we supposed to do you know yeah so the big the big one of the big controversies was

that uh vicky tamra didn't feel like vicky was really taking this this wine trip seriously she wasn't drinking that much she wasn't paying attention well vicky was pretty drunk i mean she her eyes were totally glazed over i mean give the woman credit for at least stopping yeah and she also i think at least she had the wherewithal to realize you know what i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about with the wine so why do i have to bother even listening just just give me a just give me a bottle of something we'll put a label on it and send it off to all the tacky ladies of coda de casa yeah give me something for ten dollars we can charge the ladies eighty dollars for shove it in a box shove it in one of those five dollars for anything to send boxes from the postal office and get it out they'll love it in mission viejo

that's all that matters totes calabasas calling well calabasas is not in Orange County. Yeah. Either way, it's the same thing. Wives by wives. Don't get it. So they show up at this Malibu winery and Vicky, by the way, can we talk about Vicky asking the girl how old she is and if she's dating her dad?

That was hilarious. And who's not thinking that? I like that Vicky said you were thinking it too and you're lying if you said you weren't. I know. I love how Gretchen acts like she's upset when, in fact, just four years ago, she was dating a 120-year-old man dying of cancer. Well, that's probably why she was upset. She was probably asked that many, many a time. She's like like it really bothered

me that she would say that because it reminded me of jeff and all our old man sex we'd have i don't know what i'm talking about it reminded me of the time i went to the movies and somebody said you want you want some popcorn for your dad too and then i wanted to cry it reminded me of the time when we went to a restaurant and someone was like would you like some coffee jeff and he's like okay and i was like jeff how can you have coffee there's no sign that says coffee served here and then the waitress was like don't tell your dad he can't have coffee and i cried and then i went to bass lake and i cried some more stupid town oh stupid my gretchen impersonation is so bonkers and so not anything that sounds like well mine mine never has and i imitate her all the time and it really doesn't sound like her

and so last night when i was watching the show, I was like, you know what? I really should make more of an effort to really do impressions and not just make stuff up, like actually learn how to do them. And so I was practicing with her, and you know what? I do kind of sound like her. You do. You sound like her a lot. When she's doing things like,

I don't know. Sorry. When she's doing things like, babe, babe. I don't know. Sorry, my voice actually started to veer into Karen Sierra's mom. I hate him so much. No, don't do any of those because the rest of the show is going to be in those accents. You know what's going to happen. I would be perfectly fine with that, too. So, yeah. So they have the wines by wives things.

And, of course, Tamara is being a total C-word, as used, and just sitting there the whole time going, oh, my God, she's not even drinking the wine. Oh, my God. She doesn't even care about this. I do everything. Look at her. Oh, my God, Vicki, are you drinking?

Are you drinking the wine? Oh, my God, she's not drinking the wine. Oh, she's so horrible. Oh, my God. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others.

Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat or be eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break in hopes of becoming the first

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by joining Wondery Plus. And then she was all jealous about Vicky having Vicky's vodka by joining Wondery Plus. Not at all. And then she was all jealous about Vicky having Vicky's vodka and she was mad that Vicky was actually putting time and effort into it. I'm like, well, yeah, of course Vicky will do it

because A, it's going to be a dying enterprise so she might as well try to get the most of it while she can. And B, like, wouldn't you put all your energies into something that you were not going into with Tamara Barney? Like, why would you ever bother like one extra second of time with something that's involved with tamra it's clearly not going anywhere well and if we're gonna put like real like real world expectations

on these things i mean wise by wise first of all we don't have any evidence that vicky's working on that tamra said how's my wife vicky that I heard about through my friends? And Vicky's like, oh, good, good. Are you working really hard? Is it keeping you busy? Oh, yeah, yeah, real busy, real busy. We're making vodka. We're putting it in bottles. You know, just the normal, just so big.

Events. There's events. There's things. There's calendars being sent to me in the emails. She ain't busy. She is lying to make herself sound busy. Tamara's like, oh my God, how could you do that? And not, how could you try and get vodka into a casino

and not Wines by Wives? First of all, because it's a product. Wines by Wives is a club. Like, hey, Bellagio, you want to sign up for Wines by Wives and serve people whatever the fuck we send you this month? Stupid. You know, really also that Wines by Wives, what's really going to come down to is that

every time Tamara goes and flies to New York for Watch What Happens Live, she's just going to steal whatever little bottles of wine they serve around American Airlines and pour them all together into one big jug and send them to one lady, the one lady who signed up for the stupid service. Yeah, she is.

She's going to be like, Total profit! Total profit. Meanwhile, why is vicky making vodka vodka was never her signature drink or her thing right i was just like i think she's truly doing it because it starts with the letter v she is it's really is like oh vicky's vodka everyone has something yeah yes and you know vicky has always had insurance but she really hasn't had a product has she in all these years no she has but she doesn't need one i don't think she's doing fine with her insurance oh gosh we could all use it if you come up with some little product that's going to make you a couple million a year why the hell wouldn't you do it yeah why

not what do we have to say about eddie and uh his oh wait we can't even get there yet because i still have some tamras okay go on with tamra oh my god okay so tamra's going off on vicky and then it turns into and this also happened on married to medicine which i guess we can get to later but you know then it becomes tamra's a victim somehow and she's talking to eddie about how she has some kind of disease where she doesn't want to call Vicky a bitch when she leaves the wine thing. But she's just so embarrassed that she did. But she just can't stop herself. And what do I do?

And Eddie's like, you know, Eddie's answer is in his sad, half-closed eyes, which is like, you're a cunt. Okay. He's like, hey, babe, just make sure you don't do that to me, babe. Sorry, babe. She's like, you know, I lose don't do that to me babe sorry babe she's like you know i lose my i lose my temper i just i get in a blind rage i just don't understand what it is it's called being a c word tamra that's what it is stop being an asshole that's all you gotta do stop it now don't don't kill me ronnie i actually liked that scene i thought like

it was a rare moment of like introspection from Tamara Barney. It was like, for a moment, she realizes, oh shit, I am a cunt to women sometimes. All the time, in fact. And of course she's not taking any steps to fix it. She's not signing up for therapy or anything. But it was nice to see that she had a flickering moment of culpability. see that she had like a flickering moment of culpability she didn't though something else happened or somebody told her you know everyone who who you've ever met dies or what was that i don't know what that's from but like everyone you love dies oh that's uh that's what that's what ramona told to bethany on the brooklyn bridge that one time oh my god she's like it's like well you know remember no i remember the walk on the bridge but i don't remember that's what caused it Oh my god. you know no relationship you have no one could ever no one could ever be in a relationship with you something like that and by the time they got to the other end of the brooklyn bridge

bethany was a mess and simon and alex were there like hey welcome to brunch well what whoever said that i don't did they say that to tamra or just about her i don't remember what it was but i don't i don't know who said anything to tamra she was just sitting there just trying to eat sushi and all of a sudden she started getting all serious yeah i think it was in someone's testimony or diary room session i think it was or maybe it was what brianna told vicky when she was complaining she was like oh well you know that's tamra she's she can't keep a friend or whatever it was but i think someone just said something to tamra because it is true i mean tamra's had a problem with everybody in the world she's a horrible human being she She's never going to have a friend.

And I just love that she's going to turn it into a disease. So now it's something we're going to have to feel sorry for her that she's an asshole because it's just how she... That's just stupid. Shut up, Tamara. Be a nicer person. Or don't. I mean, preferably not. No, I like her the way she is.

I do too. She's sort of vile. I have to admit, though, I did like the moment of introspection. I really did. I don't know. You know, sometimes when these women are just being hideous bitches nonstop, you think it's an act. It is an act. It certainly is.

But you think that's all that there is to them. So it's sort of nice to see a slightly more dimension. I'm not calling Tamara the most fascinating person in the world. Maybe a drunk because of course she's drunk while she says it and of course she says it after being a total c-word when she's not in a blind rage which totally killed her illness defense yeah but i mean she was she was being a total c-word the whole time anyway well now let's go to slade because that they're my favorite um new couple that's what the girl on tvgasm said today. And I totally agree. Slayton and Eddie.

Sleddy. I like that. Sleddy. Sleddy, yeah. Yeah, they got a bromance going on. Although I'm sure Eddie wishes it were a romance. Oh, poor Eddie. Okay, you know, we've always joked about

Eddie being gay. And I mean everybody. And when I say us, I mean America. Because he's so big and strong. And he's with Tamara. He's obviously not with her. And he loves Lady Gaga. Yeah. He's not with Tamara because she's cute and fun.

He's with her to be on TV, obviously. And he's just gay. He's got teeth whitening. I mean, he would look at home with a dick in his mouth. And he has sex with men. Very gay. Yeah, and that whole swallowing sperm thing that he does. Very gay. Yeah, but yesterday I felt really bad for Tamara because she's so clueless that she doesn't know that everyone thinks he's gay.

Why would she be telling a table full of people he won't have sex with me on days that he goes bike riding or whatever before he goes bike riding? He has to be alone. He's gone for hours at a time. Yeah. With another man, usually slowly. Oh, yeah. You know what? He's going on bike paths and getting blowjobs.

You know he is. Oh, absolutely. Oh, my God. Absolutely. You know, here's my only request of Eddie. I want him to shave his nasty-ass beard off. And I'm not talking about Tamara. I'm talking about the actual beard. Yeah, my God. Absolutely. You know, here's my only request of Eddie. I want him to shave his nasty-ass beard off. And I'm not talking about Tamara. I'm talking about the actual beard that's on his face.

It's disgusting. It is. He's starting to age all of a sudden, and the beard is making him look terrible. He needs to get rid of that thing. Yeah. He looks gross. He looks like he's basically just given up. Yeah. Well, wouldn't you if you found yourself stuck with tamra i mean if you're gonna have a beard why why be tamra yeah there are so

many desperate housewives he could be banging to get on tv maybe move to beverly hills get get some taylor action she'll do anything at this point fantastic yeah um so anyway so at this um so over the course of this wine tasting thing to get back to heather and um heather and terry so they are all talking about like relationship dynamics etc etc and then heather starts to talk about a fight the fight that they had but of course the way she describes it is she's like i you know i was all excited about my hot in cleveland moment which is still by the way very funny to me and then she was like and then terry said some things just sort of like to tear it down to sort of like to shit all over it and i'm like me person i'm like shut up heather he did not shit all over it you asked him to take care of the kids and he was

like jokingly saying uh hey kids how about you guys stay up late at night and you don't go to school? That's all he said. And she acts like he said to her, yeah, good luck on your fucking sitcom. You're gonna be terrible. The show will never air, and you might as well die. Yeah, exactly. He's like, good luck playing the gerbil. Yeah. Yeah, she's ridiculous,

but she's a typical drama queen who everything's a huge drama, and she married a child so that she could yell at somebody her whole life. So, like, congratulations. I'm glad you're in a horrible, uncomfortable relationship that you're both obviously getting off on. Because he gets off on pissing her off and saying, I'm sorry a million times. And then pissing her off again. And she gets off on telling him he's an asshole over and over.

Like, I'm glad that you guys have found each other. But leave me out of this. Just leave me out of it. This is why I don't want to watch that newlywed show. It's just gross. Yeah, well, what was surprising was then as Terry was sort of trying to take

accountability and said, well, I did say some mean things. And I'm like, Terry, shut up. You didn't say anything mean. Then he's like, well, I got pretty angry and I threw around the D word, divorce. And that was actually shocking to me. I was surprised. Like, I can't believe this went down that path, clearly after the camera stopped rolling.

Were you shocked by that, Ronnie? I'm laughing that there's a fire truck or whatever because Robert on our Facebook was like, where do you guys live? There's always an ambulance in the background. I live in, listen, people know where I live. I live across the street from MJ and down the street from Ashley. Of course there are sirens. I live in the ghetto. Yeah, MJ is choking on a slider right now.

Let's just keep going on like nothing's happening. The firemen are going in there and they're going to see a scene from Seven. Gluttony, slob and yeah what's the masturbating one all at one yeah all in one all in one all in that one condo um so what were you talking about oh the terry thing and well there's another reason there's another reason that whole thing was faked because everyone was kind of trying to let it go and move on and he was like no no let's talk about how i threatened to leave and then it turns into the most awkward dinner party ever because they don't only say we're having problems we're

trying to work past it which would be awkward enough they start talking about every detail of it at dinner forever the whole dinner and then and then of course couples don't do that no one cares and then of course heather gets mad at terry for talking about it so like the problem creates a problem about the problem well after she was talking about it yeah exactly exactly so gross they're both so gross and then how it ends was these like baby i'm sorry are you mad at me? She's like, well, Terry, I rather would have not talked about it in front of everybody after I just talked about it for an hour. I didn't want to talk about it more in front of everybody.

And he's like, babe, I'm so sorry. She's like, here's the deal. I'm going to do Hot in Cleveland, and it's going to be about me. And then we can get back to this. I really wanted him to be like, please don't leave the kids with me. Hot in Cleveland has never gotten so much amazing publicity. I know.

I know. I've never wanted to watch a show more than I have after these past two weeks. Oh, my God. And you know about Valerie Bertinelli was like, really? We have to have a reality show in here? I'm Valerie Bertinelli. I'm a class act. All right.

Hey, what did we see about Valerie Bertinelli in the Ross? She was selling something. It was on the clearance rack at Ross, which is really sad. It's like pillows or something? The Valerie Bertinelli collection? Yeah. And I just remember thinking, wow, this is where you officially come for your comeback. Ross. The Ross

clearance rack. Valerie Bertinelli, you've made it! Yeah, she has. She really has. day at a time clearance girl back to clearance um so the episode eventually ended with oh it didn't really end but but basically the climax was uh tamra and um vicky bickering at the uh at the valet stand where tamra called vicky a bitch and then they said they compared you they were like oh i don't even remember you know my brain just melted right now i'm sorry well natalie yeah you don't perform no you don't perform no you don't perform yeah tamra's like i'm gonna confront

vicky about the wine wines by wives because she's leaving early well vicky did get trashed and stayed there all day why does she need to sit around and listen to more heather's i would leave too but i think it's like that housewives of atlanta thing where they're like well if i had to be at work all day you had to be at work all day you know it's like there there vicky goes shirking her duties as a housewife um but on our facebook natalie from the drunk house of uh sat the san fernando valley told us that she left the wine tasting because she was catching dinner and a show, which was the same night that we went to see that show and saw Vicky.

Which explains why Vicky looks so fucked up and out of it, because she'd been drinking wine all day and dealing with Tamara. And she was not with 13 family members or whatever she said she was last night. She's like, it's a very important event with 13 family members. Someone's having a baby right now. We planned three months ago blah blah blah or whatever it was

that bitch was drunk with two little ass kissing gays yeah she was it's totally true and and now we know why her face looks janked up too it's like everything is makes sense now life life has clarity to it once again well we didn't we knew that it was jy, but we thought it was because we'd never seen her in person. Like, we didn't understand. We thought that all people on TV just looked scary or up close in real life. Right. And you know what? God bless you, Vicky.

If anybody tells you that someone was saying this about you online, don't do anything else to your face. You're beautiful in your own little Vicky special way that I never want to have sex with anyway. Please don't touch your face anymore. You're wonderful the way you are, okay? There's a backhanded hug. Yeah, absolutely.

Well stated, well stated. Yeah, there's a reverse hug for you. Just please, please don't hurt yourself. We can't all be Vanna White. Okay, Vicky? Just love yourself. Should we move on to Married to Medicine? Yes, please. Yes, please.

Yes, please. All right. So this episode, I'm just going to give the quick rundown of the big plot points, which was that Carrie and Mariah made up

and then they all went on a wine tour. There's more wine. And then basically Toya and Mariah made up. But here's the thing. For me, the episode was all about a moment that happened in the very beginning of the episode

when Carrie's kids were stuffing presents and Carrie tells us, I want to expose our children to poverty. To me, the episode just ended right there. That's all I needed.

My children come from a very privileged lifestyle, and I want them to see poverty. So you kind of think that Carrie's going to take them to the ghetto or the hood. All she does is have them put a bunch of slinkies in boxes and send them off to poor people. I don't know how that's really exposing them to poverty. Yeah. She's like, put this in a box, put tape on it, and poor people will get it. I've taught you so much. Dealing with poor people is a personal struggle that I've had for 20 years.

I've spoken to Duncan about it, and he understands. I do not like poor people, and I don't like them in my house. We do not throw parties with poor people and I don't like them in my house. We do not throw parties with poor people. Back when I was not eating, I would see a poor person and they would tell me I'm hungry and I would say, get in line. No one's hungrier than me, poor person. And I meant that literally because I'd point them to a soup kitchen where there was a line and I was being very charitable by doing that. But I would never get in that soup kitchen line because, as we all know, poor people's soup is very high in calories.

I have had issues with lines since I was a child. I put together this soup kitchen without the help of any party planner. There was glass in the soup. I sent an invoice to every single homeless person

to PayPal. Because if they thought they were going to come and eat my soup for free, they are mistaken. Oh, what is with that whole makeup scene when okay, I love it that first of all, that dumb white bitch, what's her name?

Carrie. I love that dumb bitch Carrie is at a modeling event that she's in. She's performing as a model somewhere. It's not a modeling event. What was it? She hired people to take pictures of her for Duncan. And she went to some ghetto-ass studio where, if you look at the background, all the glamour shots that have been taken there are all ratchet glamour shots.

Oh, no. It's like where Portia went to try out her BAPS look before she decided, you know what, I don't think I'm going to wear this. She's like, I would have done this somewhere better, but I was researching on my iPhone 3 and the internet takes five days to load. So I took the first address that came up and ended up here.

I now have issues. I wanted to expose my children to poverty, but there was a mix-up, and I accidentally sent my children to a studio in New York City, and I'm here in this ratchet studio next to Bar One in Atlanta. So she was there getting pictures taken for herself. That's how I was doing pull-ups during that time, and by that I mean going, ow!

Ow! That's what I was doing during that scene, so I didn't get what she was doing. I was making that noise also, and I wasn't even doing pull-ups. The show just makes me do that. But listening to her describe it like, I'm glad Miss Carrie invited me to come see her modeling event. That's all I heard.

And I was like, oh, Lord, here we go. Here comes Mariah. Yeah, here comes Mariah with her. What PayPal thing are you talking about, Carrie? No, that was a mistake. There was no PayPal thing are you talking about, No, that was a mistake. There was no PayPal, though, okay? Oh, no, that's Toya. Yeah, sorry,

I started doing my Toya voice. I tried to do Mariah. I can do, when I watch the show, I can do Mariah, but when I'm not watching the show, it's automatically,

I'm just all Toya, all the time. Well, she's very eye-rolly, so, like, if you could see our eye rolls, we could do it better. And she's very eye-shadowing. I think she's more quad-y.

But she tries to be quad, but she can't quite get there. I love quad. In fact, I actually, I took a soundbite of quad this week, and I think it's very special. Why don't I share it right now? Ready?

Go ahead. I'd love to hear it. Oh, here it comes. Except, you know, every time I do this, the freaking iPhone, you know, every time I do this, the freaking iPhone. You know, can they fix their voice memo technology? Why is it every single time I do a podcast and I cue up a soundbite, dead silence?

Okay, here we go again. Here we go again, quad. It is by the flight of minutes. I don't know if you hear me. What is she saying? It is by the flight of minutes. She goes, wait a minute, baby, wait a minute. I don't know if you hear that. What is she saying? She goes, wait a minute, baby, wait a minute. What were they even talking about at that part?

Is this we're in the limo? They were in the limo, drunk? She looked at Dr. Jackie's provocative photos. Wait a minute, baby, wait a minute. photos. So in that Mariah, you know, I want to put that sound inside a teddy bear. And when you touch the teddy bear's paw, it makes a lot of sense.

Me slapping, honey. Kickin' and me slappin'! Absolutely not! Absolutely not! So that scene with Mariah and Carrie at the modeling event, I love that Mariah is insisting over and over that she never took money out of PayPal,

and then Carrie whips out the papers again and puts them right in her face. And she's like, no, no, no. She's like, well, then why did you take the money back? She's like, I did. I did take the money back. I did. Because I thought we had paid enough. What does that mean you've paid enough?

Like, was this an additional $1,200 that you paid? Did you pay enough by being embarrassed by your behavior and now getting kicked out? Like, what have you paid? Please learn to talk, people, on these shows. It's like reading the scrawling pictures that cavemen drew in the caves. It really is. Evidently, she paid for one tier of a cake because that's all they got at the party, if you remember. And that's perhaps enough.

Yeah, she's like, I already paid $5 for that sheet cake that was sent over from abbotson's oh she worked for her sheet cake and you got it she works she was oh miss perry got her sheet cake and if she want two more tears she gonna have to pay from paypal herself because she already she paid she paid that is ridiculous that whole thing was ridiculous and i don't even know how they made up. But they were just like, okay, well, this is done. They're like, let's, we can't deal with this anymore. Let's just, look, they're like, look at what this fight has brought us to. Crying together in a studio full of ratchet photos.

Yeah, let's just make up together. So that was the worst, dumbest makeup I ever saw. And then, well, not the dumbest, because the show even topped itself in the dumb makeup category. So what else happened in this episode? So they go wine tasting, and basically Mariah's being a total bitch to Toya the entire time.

And Toya the entire time is like, well, I have came here for some wine tasting. I want to try some Pinot Grigio, and I want to try some Merlot. And I have came to really educate myself about so many flavors. Can a girl hold her cup? Can a girl? Thank you.

You don't have to tell me how to hold a cup, okay? I feel like I'm turning her into a mobster, by the way. I think someone said I sound like Marlon Brando when I do it. But you know, that's the way Toya sounds. Listen to her. Latoya does. Yeah, she's like a mobster with a cold. Yeah.

And then the husbands all got together. And Aiden, who is like Bangladeshi and sort of wants to be black, was like, he's like, yo, man. He's like, no, it is what it is. It is what it is. We're just going to move forward, you know? Hey, we got good reception down here, you know? Hey, that's it. We move forward.

We move forward. So it was like the bro way of handling things. No. Well, he was a big woman. And you could tell that he's married to crazy because every husband has to stick up for their wife, which this is you don't marry crazy bitches you guys this is why every man who's who's gonna get married needs to watch housewives because you do not want to marry a crazy bitch okay absolutely he's just as ridiculous as she is i can't believe he didn't say i'm sorry my wife had a fucking cow at your party yanked someone's wig off broke glass glass in the pool. I was mortified.

I can't believe we had to get kicked out of your house. I'm so embarrassed that that even happened and that we have to talk about it again on national TV. Exactly. You know, Duncan, he was great. He came and he's like, listen, you know what? I was thinking about it.

I really handled that wrong. I should have handled it in many different ways. I'm really sorry. He came in very apologetic, taking ownership of his side of it. But Aiden just sort of like sat there and stared at his toes and looked at his phone. I'm really sorry. He came in very apologetic, taking ownership of his side of it. But Aiden just sort of like sat there and stared at his toes and looked at his phone. And then Eugene, I don't think Eugene even knew what was going on.

You know, he was sort of dressed like a Power Ranger to begin with. And so I don't think he even knew where he was. I think he thought he was at Comic-Con. Well, he was wearing that hat. He had to be going somewhere other than just the guy's house yeah um yeah that was that was ridiculous they gave him they apologized that was the nicest apology i ever heard and then for him to refuse to apologize because he knows crazy bitch is gonna see it on tv and be mad that he was actually being nice to people who kicked them out of the house you deserve to get kicked out of the house be you should be a little more grovelly and less fucking obnoxious yeah and let's also let's look at the age difference here and clearly duncan is by the way i've got like the cast of sons of anarchy outside my window here right now yeah clearly duncan is way more established in the medical field he's older he's

been around longer this is a superior to these guys. They need to get his act together. Yeah, doesn't it seem like he would be married to Jackie? You would think. Right? Because they're classy. Yeah, and they could be like the Huxtables together, like very Huxtable-y together.

Well, someone has stolen her fertility, and that someone is cancer. God, why am I laughing at that? I know, it's not funny at all but I just, I don't know I like Jackie the best, she will never be back on this show because she's way too classy, although those photos of her in a bikini were a little were a little against type

Yes, well you know every Christian's a murderer first, I'm every christian's a whore first you you hit rock bottom before you become a true christian ask anyone on death row and christians i'm semi-christian i was raised semi-christian so please don't send me hate mail because christians don't do that yeah i don't know why i'm being mean to christians i was actually looking at something to publish a recap online, and I heard myself saying some mean Christian thing. Sorry.

I think it's just because it's Mother's Day, so I'm just getting mom revenge. Yeah. So anyway, Jackie, blah, blah, husbands. That was pathetic. So Toya and Mariah made it up. That's the big thing. Eventually enough was enough.

Toya went, and she apologized. And Mariah accepted it and it seems like for the moment it seems like everything's okay yeah which was ridiculous because why do you need to apologize okay yes I told my hairdresser

that your child was adopted but everybody knows your child is adopted and how long have you been married to this guy? Why wouldn't you just tell her in the first place that she... That's just stupid. I don't get that. But, you know, I guess, whatever. I don't know. I'm mad now.

Those are my thoughts. Well, Quad was the best. She hung out with some other friends this week. And she got pizza and oh yeah i love that she's they stopped at little caesars to get their five dollars hot and ready i was like you you guys need to keep it classy on this show with your rented handicapped person bus well you know quad went to bar speaking bar one quad went to bar one with her friends which was sort of sad.

I'm shocked that Peter didn't pop up in the background and wave at the camera. Look, do you hear what I'm doing? I'm slowly dying. No, I'm emailing Jesus saying I'm sorry for the question thing I said. So, yeah, bar one. So is that Peter's bar? I forgot. Yeah, yeah, bar one. So is that Peter's Bar? I forgot. Yeah, that's Peter's Bar.

How is that still open? I don't know. Apparently no one told the health officials that it exists because clearly the moment they step in, that thing is getting shut down. So are we done with Married to Medicine? Because that show can kind of kiss my ass. Kind of.

I kind of enjoyed it, but I still kind of hate it. I actually love it. I love it. But the thing is we talked about Orange County so much that I lost my steam and I'm like I just couldn't. And Marriage of Medicine was so long ago I didn't take notes so I'm just like yeah. And I'm not helpful because when I start staring at walls usually Matt's here to be like oh and this

happened and I can just zone out for a bit. This is usually the part of the podcast where we kind of zone out or we sort of talk on autopilot, but Matt gets like really feisty and starts like, he's like really talking and we just sort of let him carry it to the end. He starts telling people off. Well, let me tell a side story

and I'll explain kind of why I'm in a weird mood and podcast today because I will save up shows usually that people tell me are good and I won't watch them for a couple of years and then I'll just watch them all in one night on TV, like on the internet or whatever. And I did that this weekend with the television show The Newsroom on HBO. Have you watched the show?

I heard it's good. Well, it's like Aaron Sorkin, like, bloviating. Like, we're so smart. You know, it's like, everything is so epic and, like, violin, like, really deep deep action movie, like violin music plays for stupid things. You know, like get the file across the room. And it's like, that's kind of stupid. But the main guy is a newscaster and he's going, he's kind of a whore and he's going on all these different dates. And he goes on a date with a gossip columnist and basically tells her off for being so pathetic to

care about these stupid things she's going to be doing an article on one of the housewives of new jersey and he's basically like you know you're feeding people complete trash and they don't know what's going on in the world and your your job is shit and my job is saving the world and then he goes on another date and he starts telling this woman about that date and she's like, oh my god Tell me what the story was about the new the Real Housewives of New Jersey She's a real bitch and you know, she didn't invite someone to game night and and it was funny You know because they were making Real Housewives jokes and stuff, but it really made me feel stupid for watching the Real Housewives I was like, oh my god

Jeff Daniels is right I'm a loser I'm pathetic why am I watching this stuff I should be us doing something informing the American public instead here I am watching married to medicine and caring about Vicki Gunvalson stupid fake vodka line I need to do something with my live and then I got high and that all those ambitions went away again. And that concludes and that concludes the Watcher Crappens

analysis of Newsroom. Yeah, yeah. That was my Newsroom review. Thank you, everyone. So for the two people who love listening, let's go to Million Dollar Listing in New York, which had its premiere this week um you're the only people i've talked to this week i had to get it off my chest hey listen i didn't

interrupt or anything i just let you i let you go that's even worse um i thought about things like sherry's berries and the million dollar shave club i mean whatever could you imagine million dollar shave club okay um so anyway this is the first first time i've watched uh I mean, whatever. Could you imagine Million Dollar Shave Club? So anyway, this is the first time I've watched Million Dollar Listing New York. I don't like it as much as L.A. I think that everyone's kind of awful. I really don't like – there's no way for me to get into this show. Like L.A. – I kind of. Josh Altman is like an asshole.

But I kind of like him. And then Josh is sort of like a nice guy. And Madison is just like an idiot. But these guys. Frederick is awful. The only thing that I like about Frederick. Is his accent. And how he can't say certain words.

Like he's like. Guess what. I'm getting murred. I'm getting murred. Yeah. I love that. I'm getting murred. Well actually watch your tongue.

Because Frederick is the most popular one. Yeah, I love that. I'm getting murdered. Well, actually, watch your tongue because Frederick is the most popular one. I mean, people love him. And the other big thing you need to know about him is he is an ex-gay porn star. Oh, I know that. I know that. You recognized him? Actually, I would not have recognized him because he looks different than when he was in porn. But obviously, it was in all the gossip and all the news that he was in porn. But obviously it was in all the gossip and all the news that he was in porn.

But the thing that I think is funny is if we fast forward to later in the episode, Frederick is showing this huge, huge mansion in the city. And he has this open house thing. And this guy, Ryan, this asshole Ryan, he jumps in the pool and Frederick gets embarrassed. And Frederick goes and confronts him. He's like, don't you know how embarrassing that was for me? And then it's like, listen, Frederick, you can't talk about being embarrassed, okay? I would be more embarrassed if my realtor started a movie called Training Camp 2.

That's embarrassing. Oh, I'm selling like a $30 million mansion and I've got a porn star doing it. Well, actually, I would have more respect for Ryan if that is what he said, because he doesn't say that. He says the most... He treats Frederick with as much disrespect as he treats women. Like, he's very douchey to women and to gay men. He's not like

that with straight guys. With straight guys, he's like, bro, yeah, bro, yeah, totally get it. But it's also so put on. Like, it really feels like he's really trying to make a splash as a villain. And it just, it feels fake. And you know what? By the way, Ryan, you want to be a ladies' man? Here's a way to be a ladies' man.

Don't star in a Bravo TV show, okay? That'll make you a little bit more masculine. Yeah, that guy, if that guy was as hot as he thought he would, as much as he thought he would, was, goddammit, newsroom. I am stupid. much as he thought he would was god damn it newsroom i am stupid if that guy was as hot as he thought he was he would actually sell as much real estate as he claims to sell because these n words are talking about selling millions and 30 million dollars this bullshit you are on some bravo show and you live in a tiny apartment please yeah at least a puerto rican has the um truthfulness to show that he sleeps on an ikea bed and has a giant ikea mirror the puerto rican guy oh my god he drove me nuts oh my god it's like

horatio alger's story gone way wrong i hate and i think i've talked about this when we talked about mauricio on real housewives of beverly hills and I have to say, my father is in real estate, so I'm not talking about you, Dad. Not that you're ever listening to this gay-ass show I do. But I just have to say, I hate real estate people because they are salesmen. I hate salespeople. I do not like being sprayed with things when I walk into the mall.

I do not like trying to walk from, like, Claire's Boutique to the Apple Store and have someone up my ass trying to sell me a remote-controlled helicopter or a pair of sunglasses that don't fit or one of those windmill things that like is like a mirage when the wind hits it. I don't want that shit. Stop coming up. You know what?

I bought pumice cream from a lady outside the Grove because she was so persistent. I finally bought cream to like make my feet look prettier. I have Fred Flintstone's feet. Fuck you, salespeople. I hate salespeople, and that's why I hate this show. I tried watching it, too. I watched the whole thing, because I know people on our Facebook were asking us to, so I did. I can't. I just can't do it. I can't.

It's pretty bad, and when a show gets to the point where they're asking us to believe that there's a fashion show during Fashion Week, where some designer has asked the top realtors in the city to walk the runway. I mean, I just have to call bullshit. There's no way that that is a thing that happens. No. I'm sorry.

That is not a real thing. And then when he was walking, I loved when they showed him – this is Ryan now walking down the runway. I love when they show him walking and it's the most awkward non-model. It was so, he was so nervous. He has no presence and he is not cute. It looked like middle-aged, sad, nervous white guy. And I thought, I cannot wait for him to see this on TV. Oh, he's probably jerking off to himself on TV, but gross.

And his first scene was him in the shower in a butt shot, which, come on. Oh yeah, the full butt full butt not that i'm complaining about butts but it's just so it's just so sad and needy that show i just know no i don't it's not i think a million dollar listing la is a lot more interesting yeah we know all these shows are faked but they're better actors on the other show i mean million dollar listing new york they are so f, Frederick is the, he's a porn actor. Like, you could tell he learned to act in porn. He is so,

he's like, I am so mad at you. I'm mad at you right now. Look at my face. I put so much eyeliner to show how mad I am at you. Plus, plus he shows up at every listing with a pizza

and is like, uh, pizza's here. You ordered a pizza, right? Oh. Well, I guess if you don't have any money, I guess you can figure out something else. He's like, uh, pizza's here. You ordered a pizza, right? Well, I guess if you don't have any money, I guess you can figure out something else. It's like, I don't do this in a real estate listing. I have a girlfriend.

Yeah, we're gonna get murred. We're gonna murred. Okay, you talk me into it. I try it out with the gay. Okay. Oh, does this house, this plumbing doesn't work? Let me go try to fix the plumbing under the sink.

Oh, no, I sprayed all over my shirt. Last year, they had this little Neveshi Jew guy who was the best. I wish you had watched it last year because he made it worth it. His dad ran a real estate company, so he worked for his dad, of course. And he was just completely inept. He couldn't do anything. He had a sweating problem, so he had to get Botox on his sweat glands

so he wouldn't sweat. And he was basically Rick Moranis, like a younger version of Rick Moranis. He was so cute and so inept and so hilarious. I wish he was back because he made it more fun. But these guys, I just can't. It's like fake drama I don't care about. If you guys want to watch a real real estate show, you need to get yourself over to the HGTV network and watch them selling L.A., selling New York.

I mean, these are real people, so you don't want to fuck any of them. But you really get to see gorgeous real estate. And that's actually where Marissa, what's her button, from Beverly Hills, that's where I knew her from, was selling LA. So watch those shows

because you actually get to see gorgeous homes and they're not like stupid F-words like faking it for the camera. You do not get to see mediocre ass though. Yeah. Well, anyway. I'm done, Ronnie. I have nothing left to say about Bravo or any of these idiots. I'm done Ronnie I have nothing

left to say about Bravo or any of these idiots I'm tapped out the weather is too nice I feel like it's because I talked about newsroom and now you're mad oh no please listen listen Ronnie that is the least of my issues um I enjoyed

your news newsroom rant I thought it was very informative whatever don't condescend, Terry. I am a podcaster. I am a blogger. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am the father of a dog. I am someone who opens the windows every day to let the fresh air in.

I am someone who plugged a USB microphone into my computer today. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Alright, well, I guess that's it. What are we going to watch this week? Is there anything new coming out on Bravo? Probably the same old stuff.

I still have to watch Newlywed, so maybe we'll talk about that next week. You know what? Matt has very distinct opinions about what we should be watching, so we'll just let him rock. Well, you're lucky he didn't show up today because we were both supposed to watch Neely Weds. I did finish watching the hour-and-a-half-long episode from last week and have to say I feel so sorry for that white guy marrying the Indian girl.

I'm sorry I don't know their names. I'm describing them in horrible stereotypical terms but um again men before you marry women watch bravo and learn not to marry a crazy bitch he married a total crazy bitch he tells him off at his wedding i mean it's not good not okay and i also want to say to people in relationships in general after watching newlyweds and uh the real housewives of beverly hills i don't fucking care what's happening behind closed doors. I don't want to think about you two being naked together. I'm glad that you guys chose to be together. I wish you the best, but I don't want to hang out with you together.

I just want to hang out with one of you. Stop it. You're gross. You're disgusting. The only people who don't think you're disgusting are you. Yeah. Stop it. Yeah.

Leave me alone, couples. Gross. Hashtag newsroom. Yes. Hashtag even Jeff daniels is less disgusting than you even aaron sorkin's armpit is less yeah aaron sorkin wow um love your show can't wait to finish the season we'll be watching tonight as well as matt okay Okay, tonight, everybody, this is what to watch. I'm watching Orphan Black, Mad Men, the rest of the season of The Newsroom, the Game of Thrones I missed this week.

Tonight, I'm intelligent. So suck it. Suck it, people. All right. I'm at bsideblog. Ronnie is at tvgasm. Matt Woodfield, the birthday boy, cinema belated birthday wish, is at tvgasm uh matt woodfield the birthday boy cinema belated birthday wish is at life on the m list come to our facebook page facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens

and leave comments there and on itunes and listen to us on soundcloud and the side show network and click on our ads and all that stuff so much so much basically just come to our facebook because all the other stuff we post um else, it's worth it. Like, B-Side did a photo cap of Real Housewives of Orange County. I do redubs for these stupid shows. So we post all that good stuff on our Facebook page. So if you want anything additional, come over. Come over.

All right. Well, this is fun, Ronnie. Yeah, that was fun. Okay, bye. I love you. I mean it. Bye. Bye. Bye. I'm going to go. internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called

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