Watch What Crappens - #77: Tamra Empowers Women, Ms. Lucy Devours Them

Episode Date: May 29, 2013

On this week's Watch What Crappens, Matt Whitfield (Yahoo), Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TVgasm) talk crap about The Real Housewives of Orange County sending Tamra on a mission to empower idiots. Then we move on to the language challenged ladies of Married to Medicine and the sad, dysfunctional marriages on Newlyweds. Come on in! Find us on facebook at facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens and on twitter @whatcrappens Our Vine info: Ben: Ben Mandelker Ronnie: Ronnie Karam Matt: LifeontheMList See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's berries.com. Click on the microphone and type in W-A-T-C-H. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast dedicated to all that crap we love to watch and shred to pieces on Bravo. My name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo, and joining me as always are Ronnie Karam from TV Gazem and Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog. Say hello, boys. Hi, Matt. Matt, I folded my socks this week in honor of you. I'm glad because as everybody knows from listening last week, I have a phobia of bald socks, which reminds me of the horror film Critters from 1986. And thank you for posting scary photos of it to bring back childhood nightmares. Yeah. Anyway, before we

get started today, we're going to obviously talk about Gossip and all of the shows that are airing on Bravo right now. Don't forget, though, to follow us on Twitter at What Crappens and definitely get involved with us on Facebook. We're at Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crappens. It is a

party, people. You don't want to miss out. It is more of a party than, you know, a party at Cut Fitness starring Tamara Barney. And that is saying a lot. Whoa. And, you know, by the way, I would like to remind me in a few minutes after we do these introductions, I want to talk about the Cut Fitness web page that has gone up because we have to talk about that. We can't let that slide. We cannot let that slide. Anyway, you guys should definitely follow me on Twitter.

I'm at LifeOnTheMList. Ben is at B-SideBlog and Ronnie is at TVGasm. We also would appreciate a few more iTunes comments. Look, we have a solid five stars but you guys are letting me down and you know what that means. I'm going to have to start eating cookies unless you guys give me

some more reviews. Not to guilt anybody. But you will. And don't forget you guys we are also on Instagram where Ben and I tend to battle each other with

who can post the most drunk selfies during a weekend and I think I took Memorial Day. You did. And you took it with a wig on too, which I appreciated. I took it with a wig. I was trying to channel my inner Amanda Bynes, but I ended up looking like Vicki Gunvalson with a beard. Well, it turns out

that one's inner Amanda Bynes is someone else's exterior Vicki Gunvalson. That's just the way it works. So true. They're like human synonyms. And you guys, we are also on Vine. I'm at Life on the M-List. You can find Ben, I believe, under his real name. How dare he?

Ben Mandelker. Yeah. And Ronnie, where can we find you on Vine? I'm under my name too, Ronnie Karam. And I'm obsessed. I'm taking vines of walking out the door. I took one of like just walking down the street yeah oh go ahead no i was just to say ronnie's vines are really really funny i took so many

inappropriate ones this weekend and then i pulled them all off of vine because i was horribly embarrassed so the only i only have one posted and it's um it's mariah doing the uki duki spooky nuki i had a dream about Mariah last night. I had a dream that Mariah died in a hang gliding accident off of San Francisco. Because you posted that and the first thing I thought was Mariah Carey

who, you know, that would be a real tragedy, but if Mariah from Married to Medicine died, I would rejoice. Oh, I'm sorry. I meant, my dream was Mariah Carey died in a hang gliding accident. And I actually consider myself very privileged because, you know, when you dream something, you actually feel like you're living it. And so I feel like I've now experienced the rare joy of seeing Mariah Carey hang gliding. It was wonderful.

Well, she is a butterfly. She is a butterfly. But she did not spread her wings and fly she she went right into the san francisco bay and uh sadness ensued what a nightmare what a nightmare which which housewife which which housewife would sing at her memorial uh luanne okay that was just awkward so um before we get into the latest episode Money can't buy your wings. Okay, that was just awkward. So before we get into the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County and the Married to Medicine Reunion Part 1, which was delicious.

Phenomenal, yes. Phenomenal. We should probably talk a little bit of gossip. Who wants to kick things off? Hmm. Ben. Okay, all right. Well, I'll kick things off then,

if you insist. Tamara Barney has a new spinoff with Eddie about her getting married to Eddie, which makes it now like the 32nd Bravo spinoff where we watch some hideous person getting ready to get married, which means that we're going to watch endless episodes of, oh, I just don't know if I'm ready for this,

and oh my God, my mom, and oh my God, his parents, and na-na-na-na-na, no, no, no, is it too of, oh, I just don't know if I'm ready for this. And oh my God, my mom. And oh my God, his parents. And I don't know. Is it too soon? And the catering isn't here. And it's like the same shit over and over again. Like, why is Bravo doing this to us? Because we tune into it.

I don't. I'll tell you one thing. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Here's the thing. There is no housewife I hate more than Tammy Sue, a.k.a. Tamara Vieth, aka Tamara Barney Vieth. And

this woman keeps digging herself a hole and I need to see her keep digging it and making herself look like more of an asshole because that is what she did on this week's OC and the spinoff is going to make her look even worse. So what do you think this spinoff is going to be called? Because they all have ridiculous names.

Dry Ginas and Tiny gay weewees obviously that was my first guess i was maybe that could be the subtitle hot in hot in mission viejo something like that um i think it should just be called like an Augustin Burroughs, but dry. What about a cunt above the rest? No, I'm sorry, ladies. That was very derogatory. That was Ben, everybody. That was Ben. That was me. I'm sorry. Putting money in the swear jar.

Forgetting the N. Cut fitness. See you next Tuesday at the chapel. That's amazing. That's what it should be called. I want to see a spinoff that just concentrates on Eddie's Grindr account. Yeah. You know, maybe we could produce it.

We could just go from, like, twink to twink. His profile is just a bicycle seat that's, got a moisture on it yeah it's like a slightly messy bicycle seat you know there were photos there were photos that leaked the other not leaked the paparazzi had photos of tamra trying on wedding dresses i think this weekend in los angeles so clearly they're already in the process of filming this spinoff but you know eddie was not there i i know that the guy doesn't typically go watch the woman try on dresses but because he's a homosexual i assumed that he was going to be there judging and deciding which frock she would end up wearing you know i didn't know that they sold wedding dresses at big lots

it's probably going to be like one of those like tiny pool canopy things she's just going to take a kiddie pool and deflate it and just wrap it around her waist Like one of those tiny pool canopy things. She's just going to take a kiddie pool and deflate it and just wrap it around her waist. Yeah. So Tamara's horrible, and we got some more of her stuff this week about how she's a victim, which I cannot wait to see this all unfold. Tamara's illness of being a bitch. Yay.

I have another piece of OC gossip I forgot to mention earlier as we were prepping for the show. It's about Lori. And I don't know how – Oh, yeah. Talk about this. This is scandalous. I don't know how true any of this is. But rumor is fact, right? Let's pretend that it's all 100% true and we don't even have enough truth.

Okay. So this comes from the website absurdtosublime. Okay. So this comes from the website absurd to absurd to sublime.net. And, um, they're basically, this person is writing, it's basically saying, Hey,

where the hell is Lori's, uh, grandson that her druggie son supposedly, uh, you know, gave birth to, or whatever it's the father of. So they're saying that the son,

because Lori's son is on heroin. And so is his like wife or girlfriend that the state has the baby in this. And the baby, because Lori's son is on heroin and so is his like wife or girlfriend, that the state has the baby and the baby was born addicted to heroin and was going through withdrawal, something like that. Right. And there's all sorts of other stuff about George, right, that like George's wife wouldn't allow their kids on after the first season that their kids were on and that he's evicting the wife from an apartment or something like that. Am I getting this all right? I'm trying to skim through the article. It's really just like a lot of information.

Addicting what wife? Lori? I mean, evicting Lori? The wife, the mother of the other children of the Brady Bunch family. Yeah. Oh, I don't know about that. Ashley works for George, which is hilarious

because we all know that Ashley doesn't even work, not even for George. Do we even know that George works? He's some sort of real estate guy with a – Yeah, who isn't? He has sort of like a Prince Valiant haircut and he sells things in Orange County. well the thing that people are really having a fit about in all of this is that lori had apparently had a chance to raise the baby and she gave it to the state because she didn't want to raise a baby on heroin and everyone's like what a great grandma well i don't know that i'd necessarily want to raise my son's my son's uh she already raised a son she already raised heroin either

excuse me she already raised a son on heroin why should she have to raise a grandbaby on heroin? Listen, you can't then go onto TV and brag about how proud you are of your son, and you have a grandson on the way, and then the kid pops out, needs its fix, and you have all the money in the world, and you're like, eh, see you later. See, that's the thing.

There should be a 30-day return policy, just like at Ross. Yeah. The son came out and he had like he's holding a little Caliente sign I was gonna say if any

if any baby sorry I'm done sorry go on Matt sorry sorry I'm done I'm done too

sorry oh no oh no it wasn't me Matt it wasn't me and Terry we're like we're like six minutes in and I'm already done.

Let's be Terry and Heather right now. I'm sorry, babe. I was such a jerky poo. Oh, babe. That wasn't nicey-nice of me. Booty, booty, bo-doon-doon, little baby. Oh, doodle-bo-moosh, my good old boy. At least you invited me to go shopping with you and Ben this weekend, but I never heard anything from Ben.

Well, that's because I told Ronnie to text Matt. I was with Ronnie. Did you not have a phone? Did you not have a phone too? I was driving, motherfucker. I was being safe for the world. Matt, can you back me up on this, please, before Matt turns into a little critter and attacks me?

Yeah, Matt, Ben was like, hey, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm going to text Matt Matt. Ben was like, Ben was like, hey, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm going to text Matt. And he was like, you are about what? And I said, to come with us to TJ Maxx. And he was like, why? I was like, hold on. I'll tell you after I text him.

I can't talk and text at the same time. Wait, did you guys go to the grand opening of the TJ Maxx at BevConnect? We didn't. We didn't even know. I mean, it was after the grand opening. the TJ Maxx at BevConnect? We didn't. We didn't even know. I mean, it was after the grand opening. It was a week old, but it was clean, and they had nice stuff. I wanted to take pictures of crappy Gretchen Rossi stuff, and everything was just nice. But then we went to Marshall's and found all the fleur-de-lis.

Yeah. And there were even two people at this TJ Maxx that were like, hey, do you guys need some help? And I was like, what? This is TJ Maxx. Don't do that. Yeah, this is crazy. I saw a bowl I almost bought. Okay, so...

You guys didn't buy anything? You're horrible. You guys were supposed to be caring about little babies addicted to heroin, okay? That is the topic of conversation. What I was going to say is that if you were a baby

addicted to heroin, you would clearly want to be born into Lori's family because she and George could buy you all the heroin formula, you would clearly want to be born into Lori's family because she and George could buy you all the heroin formula that you would need. Exactly. That's called good grandparenting. Exactly. They should give the baby

to Ashley and give Ashley something to do with her life. Isn't it funny that all the idiot daughters on the Real Housewives world, they're all named Ashley? Ashley and Ashley should get together and have a spinoff. Yeah, just about really stupid kids who do terrible things and leave their gas on. Yeah, exactly.

Cooking with Ashley and Ashley. I would actually watch that. So, yeah. So, Lori is already causing a bunch of controversy. And she is not even on the show. She was only on it for two minutes. Now, they do say that she's coming back again next week. Does this mean she's coming back back

or is she just like dropping some shit and then leaving again? No, I think that she's actually back for the remainder of this season because I think there becomes a whole thing where she ends up fighting with Tamra for the rest of the year. Yes.

They're like friends right now. Yeah, they're kind of being friends right now well I actually think that she's a good she's a good like what do you say opponent for Tamara because she's actually somebody who will not put up with Tammy Sue's bullshit right and she has so much money

that she can just drop in say something mean and then just go back to her castle and like not care because she has so much money you know thank you george um okay speaking of horrible people let's talk about some bullying on the real housewives of beverly hills apparently the new season is in production and kyle and kim have both threatened to quit because lisa and yolanda and brandy are ganging up and bullying kyle and saying that maur is cheating on her, which I believe is true. And I don't think that Beverly Hills can exist without the Richards sisters because they are fucking crazy.

But I don't know. I think just Kyle is pathetic and ridiculous, and I hate her. I think Beverly Hills can exist without them because do you know how many former child stars there are lingering around this city? We could certainly – someone call up Vicky from Small Wonder and get her on the show and be like, sorry, Richard's sisters. If you guys walk out, we've got a robot. If they had her and what is that? Wasn't Edie McClure on that show as the next door neighbor? She was.

She should be a Beverly Hills housewife. Absolutely. I kind of wish they would get Flo from Alice. And maybe... I'd like the older sister from Mr. Belvedere, please. The one who gets the flower poured on her by Wesley in the opening credits. Oh my god. And then the Huffnagels.

Yeah. Who knows what Lynn from ALF is up to these days? Oh my god. Can someone put a call into her representation, please? I would like Jodie Sweetin because she was a meth head and that always makes for good TV. You know what? She would actually be a really good choice. Not even joking.

Cut it out. A good choice. You have to have a little bit of a past. I just say get that girl some new boobies and some giant lips and get her on the screen! Yeah. I would be fine honestly with an entire cast of of 80s child stars everybody from square pegs on one housewives

including sarah jessica parker yeah she would be good like she stopped wearing high heels that could be a storyline for the whole season honestly you could really get the entire cast well most of the cast of one day at a time except for of course bonnie franklin they're all dead aren't they no just franklin no just bonnie franklin no so is one of the daughters one of the daughters i think so schneider is dead i think schneider's alive no schneider schneider will always be alive schneider lives in all of us ew that's disgusting he's like herpes you could put you could put something on him but it'll come popping back up at some point schneider was the master of someone opening a door and there's

schneider with one hand up on the doorframe being like hello i'm here i know him and larry from three's company whoo that man i'll tell you what timing yeah they they know they know what's up matt you're supposed to be stopping this would you please pay attention and do your job we're gonna keep talking about sitcoms until oh i have no problem with talking about sitcoms but we should really talk about the richard sisters and how much we hate kyle i set you up for that and nobody followed up with i hate her too it's my fault i took it in the succumb direction as i'm as i'm wanting that's my disease okay how much do you hate glad okay i don't really hate kyle i'm actually really happy the thing that i've hated about kyle this past season is that last year she got a lot of shit for being mean to lisa at the reunion and so this year she was on

her best behavior and not fighting with anybody. And she was kind of doing shady stuff to get people to fight each other. But she wasn't actually fighting anybody. But now, I really like that Brandi has pushed her so far that you know she's fighting this season, which I like. So that's the Kyle I like. And by the way, I call bullshit bullshit on this all this bullying nonsense because let's not forget season two of kim and kyle bullying brandy like pointing their fingers in her face hiding her crutches when she was incapacitated that was you want to talk about bullying that's bullying so i'm sorry what goes around comes around bitch no that's not

bullying you guys because brandy said that kim was math, and so Kim is the victim and all of that. Don't forget. And please don't forget that it's actually called bullying. And the only person that's ever been bullied is Alexis Bullino. Bullino on her trampoline. Okay, moving on. On her trampoline. Okay, moving on.

In the past few weeks, obviously, we've had a lot of issues with the Real Housewives of New York. Who's going to be in? Who's going to be out? Apparently, Luann is officially in. Does that matter? I say, yes, it does matter. Absolutely. Luann has to be there.

That's what I say. Luann and Ramona are going to have to be there until the end of time. And if they ever try to make Luann a friend of the Housewives, I'm done. I'm not even kidding you. I'm done. That's bullshit if they do that. Because Luann is one of a kind. You know, we have a lot of, there are a bunch of generic housewives floating about.

You know, they're kind of interchangeable, just nouveau riche, tacky women. But Luann, she's got, she's the only truly haughty housewife that's out there. And I love her for that. And God bless her for having passed out teenagers in her hedges. She deserves them. Yeah. She does. She does. And I mean that in a good way.

That's a compliment. She also deserves to have a racist daughter slash artist. I liked her daughter's art, though. I will say. I liked it. Well, the article I'm reading is saying that she's coming back in a limited role. Yeah, and she's tweeting that she's

not in a limited role i'm just imagining her arriving in a giant like kaiser role she's like i'm sorry you can't have this role it's very limited yeah limited edition role she arrives in a dinner role well apparently okay so one of the i'm being served in a rosemary focaccia thank you very much the reports are wrong i'm in a hawaii bun oh my god i hate hawaiian bread it's disgusting i think i like it i don't know i haven't had it enough but i saw a commercial for it two days ago and i was it's been on my mind there are billboards for it all over la now i'm like please stop why are they doing that don't they know no one eats carbs in la so true um so anyway luann was saying i heard this other thing that she was willing to take a pay cut because of the power of the show in order to launch people's products.

And I don't know if any of you have seen this, but Luann now has a cheap, tacky-ass plastic dish line that she's hawking on QVC, I believe. And I think that she thinks that's going to really take off and make her a millionaires again. So she's willing to get less money on the show in order to sell her housewares. I'm not even joking. I want it. I want it right now. Oh my God, stop.

Stop the press. I need to have plates. I need to have plates in my apartment. When people say, what are these plates? I'm like, they're from the Countess Luanne de Lucep collection. I have to have that. You know they're just like those princess dye plates you used to be able to buy on infomercials, except with Luanne's face.

Even better. Don't be like pictures of Luanne with blonde princess dye hair running from Pabst. I'm seriously looking up her plates right now. I actually think that she... I want to see how much they cost. She should have been cast to play Princess Diana in the new film that's coming out, not Naomi Watts. I'm looking up Luanneola Sepp's plates.

Okay, in breaking news, Andy Cohen is now starting to post selfies on his Instagram photo with a beard. And he's getting that camera so close to his face and he's already cross-eyed. This is making me sick to my stomach. Ben, we have to out-selfie Andy Cohen. We can do it, Matty cohen we can do it matt i think can you post can just post one right now just give me one right now um i need it all right let me post one i gotta take a picture of myself right now i want a picture of you with luanne's plates as a selfie i don't have her plate yet you can pose with it on a computer screen

it's called countess l Luann's new tabletop collection and to know there's no pictures of herself but red is in as far as dishware goes because everything's like a red pattern and they are very plasticky and they are gonna look amazing on the TJ Maxx clearance rack right next and how much Bertinelli comfort what's and what's the price point may ask I ask? I don't know. I'm looking at momtrends.com so you know this shit is for real.

Do you have that shit bookmarked? Do you really have momtrends.com on your bookmarks? Yeah, that's how I started because my breasts were uneven and I was googling my breasts were uneven and I learned that I have to feed Bueller with both sides evenly.

If it wasn't for this website, I would still be only feeding out of my right boob, and my left boob would be giant. So thank you, MomTrans. I am throwing up right now. I am taking my selfie mat, and there's something wrong with my front-facing camera. There's, like, a smudge on it, so I've got, like, serious Barbara Walters thing going on right now. Plus, I'm really backlit, so it looks like I'm arriving from heaven. Seriously, I'm putting it up right now.

Guys, there's a really important alert that I've got to tell you about. One of Luan's plate designs has a seahorse on it. Okay, what does that mean? Yes, done. That means it's going in my cupboard immediately. That means I'm serving very fancy food on it. Can we please, do you guys think that we could get a Kickstarter together

and maybe make some money so that we could podcast live from, where's that place that they always go in the winter, St. Bart's? Or where do they go? It's certainly not Quag. Yes, St. Bart's. It's certainly not Quag. go in the winter? St. Bart's? Or where do they go? It's certainly not Quag. It's certainly not Quag. We need to be in St. Bart's. We just do. Make this happen. Somebody make this happen.

Make a Kickstarter happen. Yeah, so one of you people must know someone who works at Expedia or Travelocity or someplace that needs some publicity, and we'll talk it up if they sponsor us to go to St. Bart's for just a weekend. I mean, they don't even have to put up a sign for Reed. We'll just go.

No complaints. Just play them one of our Sherry's Berries ads or Shave Club ads. They'll totally be in. Yeah. Exactly. That should convince them. Okay, a few other things before we move on because people, we've been talking way too long and not getting into any of the good stuff.

Teresa Giudice is launching a line of food after the success of her cookbooks discuss. So, like, a line of what do you mean? Like, space food where it's all dehydrated and maybe you can rehydrate it in space? I think it'd be designer common. Yeah, designer ingredients too.

It's gonna be like a big meatball that's in a can. What flavored cummin would you like? So, wait. So, is she gonna have like a frozen food line? I need answers. I don't think she even understands what a freezer is.

And that's not a commentary on how fresh her food is. She just doesn't understand modern technology. I'm sure her husband has a freezer full of dead bodies in that nasty-ass garage. Yeah, and hookers. I'm sure he leaves all the bodies in the woods where he found them and then blames somebody else who looks like him. He's like, what? Maybe it was my brother. That's like his defense now. So she's going to have a line of food i think teresa should

have a whole line of rosetta stone tapes that kind of teach you english from english for non-english speakers yeah like english is the second language yeah like jersey english Jersey English yeah Jersey English I hope that she has a cannoli kit to compete with Kathy's oh my god where is that the fact that Kathy is still on the upcoming season is a miracle she does nothing

the gossip was that she was not going to be on this season but that just shows the gossip isn't always right. Well, as I learned from watching the New Jersey special with all the women, the secrets of the women or whatever, I think she's back on because she finally started yelling at Teresa in the finale, in the reunion. Smart move, lady. That's the way to keep your job. Yep.

Yep, that's right. Okay, so what is happening on these shows? I'm sick of gossip. This is all stupid. And Teresa has a food line. That's worse than Chef Boyardee having a food line. I quit. It's worse than Chef Roble having a show. I guarantee they're not even going through the FDA on this, by the way. I'm sure Juicy Joe

is like, who needs the FDA? Just put it in a box and put it in a store. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Come on. Who needs the FDA? They're just a bunch of jokers. They don't know. Okay, where do we want to start? Let's just go to Married to Medicine Reunion

Part 1 because it was more delicious than anything Teresa could ever cook. That was a great reunion. Great, great, great. I'm so excited for it. The second part is tonight. I'm not going to lie yeah they're they're fast tracking it because it's so delicious but um i will tell you this you know i have been a fan of quads since day one because you know she says all of the best quotes of the

entire season but the fact that she is with team mariah makes me sick i I know. I love Quad, but Mariah is the worst. She is the worst. And I tell you, I love the way Dr. Jackie condescended to Mariah towards the end of the show. It was the best thing ever. Considering that Dr. Jackie is the only one who does not have kids up there or can't have kids, she certainly knows how to parent better than the rest of them. She was putting Mariah, she was like,

I'm not going to speak until you're finished. I'm not going to speak until you're finished. It was so condescending but so appropriate. Oh, I loved it. Well, Mariah was totally

the Teresa Giudice of the reunion. She kept saying no and lying and then Andy had to keep calling her out on lying because everything that comes out of her mouth is a damn lie.

And didn't Teresa even mock somebody for not being able to have a baby yes who was it yeah didn't she say to oh my god it was years ago but she was saying like oh who was it jacklyn jacklyn was having some issues with her pregnancy back in the year but it was something it was something like to someone who couldn't have a baby or something. I was like, ouch. Or wasn't it to Lauren? She was like, what do you know? I don't know.

It was somebody that she was like, you don't even have a family. I was like, well, congratulations, Mariah. You are now Teresa. When you have egg salad. Is it like when Teresa called Karen, like, blubber, blubber, and more blubber? She's like, I'm a very nice person. I know this is from last week, but I don't think I talked about this when Andy got on her about calling Caroline fat. And Teresa's answer was, well, you know, she said something to me, and I looked over at her, and all I saw was three rolls.

So that's what I said. I saw it, and I said it. She's a very literal woman. Yes. That was her answer. She's like, that's just the first thing I saw so there you go. Okay, next. Great answer. Okay, so questions for you guys.

Married to Medicine had a reunion show. We typically only see these reunions for the housewives but then we started to see them every once in a while for Top chef and obviously we had an amazing run with vanderpump rules where we got multiple reunion episodes do you guys think that and shots do you guys think that all of the bravo shows that we're obsessed with should have these reunions or do you think it really belongs just in the housewives wheelhouse i think any show that has an ensemble of people that are fighting all season

long then you have to have a reunion i don't think that is every show on bravo well you don't need it for a million dollar listing or the decorators or you know not every show needs it or the millionaire fat maker yeah or below deck you know but I think that for when there's like a fight that involves a glass being thrown, a purse being swung, and things winding up in a pool, you need to have a reunion. Yeah, like somebody not being invited somewhere

or being uninvited, or maybe people had a party but they had bad party favors and then they fought about it all year, that needs to have a reunion. And you especially need to have a reunion if you want to find out if someone is a pure lady or not. As in the case of Carrie. You're a pure lady.

I've been trying to be a pure lady for 20 years. What's your definition of a pure lady? My definition of a pure lady is someone that does not eat food and does not need a potty planner to arrange a potty for Duncan. Ooh, Miss Carrie Pure. Yeah, Miss Carrie, you pure, girl. You pure as...

I never said I was pure. I never said I was pure. Pure as pure as pee after I drank water for ten days straight. That's how pure you is. You pure like a water filter that I bought that spelled pure but it spelled wrong with an E at the end. The fact that you would bring up water filters when I've had a personal struggle with Britta for 20 years is unacceptable to me and shows you are not a pure lady yourself.

Girl, you as pure as my eye after I put a visine in there and I can see straight again because that's how pure you is. Those people do not make any sense. Okay, that's my complaint about the reunion. Quad and Mariah sit there. And this is all they do.

Okay, do you remember when I told you about when I had Fashion Queens on. And I was sitting on the pot in the bathroom in the other room. And all I could hear was like their voices through the door. You just hear like cooing and cawing back and forth. There are no words. There are no sentences. There are no points made. It's just, it's just.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. It's like, ooh, you're cute lady. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, you're so hot. Where you dwarves at? Where you dwarves at? Yeah, it's too, it's too much. Those girls do not make any sense.

And even when they had them, they're like, ooh, this is the dressing room cam and it was quite a moron they're like girl what do you think about miss k girl miss k miss k is fierce she's shawty and shady miss k got eyes oh did you see her hair she sure got hair girl uh-huh yeah it's the same as as three homosexual men we love us some sassy black females that can give shade, give a good soundbite, have a catfight, and be hilarious. However, these women are such drag queen psychopaths that I almost cannot handle it. I'm not even kidding. I mean, I really thought it took me three episodes for me to realize I wasn't watching rupaul's drag race i mean it's that close it reminds me of actually

um back you know on america's next time model when miss jay alexander was a judge and he would just sit there up on the panel and be like oh she got a real and then we'll be like oh miss jay you're hilarious I'm like no he just made noises that's what it is like although I do think Quad is funny I think she actually says funny things yeah but she is losing points fast by hanging out with Mariah I mean Mariah is

awful but do you think Quad is kissing her ass because Mariah is the producer of the show no I think that Quad is just being loyal and because Quad already has a beef with Toya and by the way I was so happy that during the reunion, Toya said, I have came here. She said during the reunion, I was like, yes, yes. She was never going to let you down in the fucked up grammar department. misused the word projecting. There was one part where someone asked Toya about something and she's like, oh, I think that quad is projecting. And then Mariah's like, well, no, I think that you're projecting

because every time you mention quad, you just project onto me a question about such and such. I'm like, that's not useful. That's not project. They don't know English and watching Andy, first of all, why did Andy have a desk?

Is that just... Does he know he's being ironic? I'm surprised that the desk wasn't made out of a gurney. I don't know. All the background was Bunsen burners and beakers. And I'm like, this is ridiculous. I also have to give a shout out to Quad for really being able to hide more stuff than we've ever seen before behind a pillow.

Enough of that shit. It was like I thought she was going to pull out like a burrito at one point, maybe one of those like nine foot long subs from Subway. Like every two seconds. Ben, there's a part two. She's probably going to pull out a lemon to squeeze on Dr. Jackie. You know, there's tons more behind that pillow and i guarantee you besides part two of the reunion there's going to be lost footage and there will be more shit pulled out of there she has like one of those roger rabbit black hole things or harry

potter like you reach into it and like it's like it's you can fit like a car in there she has a sign for everything it's like scandalous i wish that she had one of those signs that they put outside of churches where they put new sayings on it every week, like, God is trying to tell you something. You know? Like, have that and then while she's trying to make, while everyone else is talking, she could just be up there putting a letter on one at a time

to make a point. The best part is that her timing was so slow because she had so much stuff behind her, it took her forever to find the proper sign. So Toyo would be like, no, I haven't done that. I don't drink and drink and drive i don't know i would never say anything like that and you cut the quad and she's like rifling back there like the final like five minutes later she's like delusional delusional like toyah's not even talking about a commercial break you know and everyone's just shaking their head like oh we moved on yeah um can one of you please from my

sign shasty is at shasty did it did did-a-did. Did-a-did. Can one of you please, I know that you guys do some quad, you do some carry, you do a little Mariah, but can somebody please give me some Simone delivering my favorite line of Reunion Part 1, Don't you lie up on me. Don't you lie up on me. Don't you lie up on me. I know. She did a good job at staying calm all season.

She sure kind of blew it in this one. It was awesome. I'm going to have you lie on me. Well, it was kind of funny. It's because it's like, it's like, Carrie and Simone were both seated on both sides of Toya.

And it was kind of like two teams pitted against each other, obviously with Jackie being out in you know nowheresville because she's not really on the show but you know both but both Carrie and Simone essentially all episode going like we were really never support boy who they're sitting right next to we just weren't gonna back you

up Mariah and you know poor toy is sitting there and I'm like actually both of these women hate you too yeah Ty has no idea what's too stupid she just keeps nodding and going You know, poor Toya is sitting there, and I'm like, actually, both of these women hate you too. Yeah. Toya has no idea what's going on. But Toya's too stupid. She just keeps nodding and going, I appreciate that. She's like, I like this chair. Yeah.

Kara's like, I never said that. That was Toya. Don't put me with Toya. I've had a personal struggle being put in with Toya for 20 years, and I will not stand for it anymore. being put in with Toya for 20 years, and I will not stand for it anymore. I think now that we're talking about Toya and drunk driving, you mentioned we have to talk about the newest development,

which is hilarious. When they started fighting about Quad's allegations that Toya was pulled over for drunk driving with her kids in the car, and Toya's response is, no, that's just recent. My DUI is recent. That happened way after that scene. You was talking about another scene. I was like, oh like oh toyah you're making this worse for yourself so after being called a drunk on national tv you went out and got a dui and then well and then quad and then quad is going like

well now i ain't the only one with a mug shot like okay you keep bringing up the fact that you have a mugshot hilarious well oh my god uh mariah ruined that whole storyline did we talk about this last week someone on our page alerted or on our facebook page alerted us to this but mariah is the producer and the big finale secret that came out was that quad had a mugshot and they went back and let quad reshoot with her husband to make it look like they had that whole scene about them being okay with their mugshots you remember how they had that scene at the very beginning and so she kind of ruined the surprise so i guess that quad was smart to be nice to her because you know it took a lot of the sting out of it no one cared by the

time it actually came out yeah exactly and and no I mean, even if we didn't have that scene earlier on, I mean, would anyone be really surprised that Quad had a mugshot? Her name is Quad. I'm surprised she doesn't have three more than Lindsay Lohan, to be honest with you. And by the way, speaking of Quad, I also loved the juicy tidbit that came out that Phaedra Parks used to boink her husband.

Yeah. Ooh, the pinhead. Yeah. Ooh, the guy who speaks like this, huh? Yeah. I'm a psychiatrist. She'd be like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And he'd be like, yeah, uh-huh, that's right.

She'd be like, uh-huh. Is this the hood of Pops in Paris? Okay, why does she keep saying that? Seriously, I feel like that's in a constant loop. Because it was a hilarious nice show in every clip. Like, why is that a defense? Like, oh, like, that, I don't understand. I don't understand.

I love how every time we start talking about this show, we're like, oh my God, we love this show so much. And five minutes later, we're like, why are we watching this shit? Well, of course, I mean, I thought it was a great reunion. I thought they were really funny the entire time, and attacking each other in ridiculous ways. We've only

mentioned, like, we've only scratched the surface, and we can't even get even further. I can't even remember half the stuff that was happening, but I remember watching it, and thinking like, even just with Carrie alone, like, everything she was saying was just cracking me up like every two minutes i was laughing but my favorite part of the entire thing happened at the very very very end we even made it the cover image of our facebook page which you should like oh god lucy mariah's mom comes out and uh she's

all smiles and everything she She takes a seat. And Hendy's like, so how you doing, Lucy? And she has this look on her face like, I'm going to kill you right now. She has the most ghetto angry mom look ever. And I love that. He's like, so how do you feel? And she's like, she a lie. She a black hole of despair.

She a uneaten chicken wing. She a piece of trash. She a uneaten chicken wing. She a piece of trash. She a dead animal in the street you want to run over again so it'll disappear itself into the concrete. Does she also look like her... What is she even talking about? Is it just me or does her jaw look slightly unhinged? I think everything about her is slightly unhinged. That is true. She's got that mean she's got that angry pout and her giant lip is like jutting out oh she looks who who did we

used to say was pearl from not from from uh 227 because her picture look like pearl while now mary it looks like a really disappointed Pearl. Her wig is also the worst wig I've ever seen in the history of America, and it's worse than Amanda Bynes' wig. I mean, seriously. Someone can do a Photoshop swap of their faces. That'd be great. Amanda Bynes.

Mary. Mary. Oh, Mary. Oh, Mally. It's hot out here Mary I ain't looking at you I'm just looking at my window Mary so

that was a pretty good episode and how many reunions are they going to have two or three I hope seven I think it's just going to be two but do you think the husbands will come on no they would have shown it don't you think the husbands will come on? No.

They would have shown it, don't you think? That's true. The husbands are respectable doctors, Ben. Okay? They are very respectable. I don't know if you've heard that, but... Very, very respectable. Especially the psychiatrists. Yeah, especially the one who was like...

Especially Toya's husband who was like, Tell the bitch not to come! That's what you put on the like, tell the bitch not to come. That's what you put on the invitation. Tell the bitch not, say, bitch, don't come. Can I just say one other horrible thing that I don't understand? What is up with this word trifling, and is it really a word? Yeah, it's a word. It's been part of slang for about seven years or so.

Yeah, but where is this from? Because every time I hear trifling, I start thinking of like truffles and then it's tiramisu. And I'm like – isn't there like a dessert called a trifle? Yes, I just added it to this Memorial Day party I was at yesterday. Okay, well, what is trifling about? And I was like, what is this? And they said, this is trifle. And I was like, oh, my God, this is so trifling.

And nobody laughed. What is it? What is trifling? You are a trifling hoe. Trifling, like you are like... Like a low-down dirty scoundrel? Yeah, it's just the way the... Even the way the intonation is almost what the definition is.

You're just like some petty-ass, stupid, no-good hoe. That's what trifling is. Trifling, it's an adjective which means unimportant or trivial. Okay? Yeah. Synonyms are trivial, petty, insignificant, piddling, and paltry.

Yeah. All right, guys? Everybody understand? Yeah. The Urban Dictionary version is dishonest, shady, secretive, a player, all talk, without following through, not worthy of trust. Please use it in a sentence as quad. Go. You a trifling fool! Without following through. Not worthy of trust. Please use it in a sentence. As quad go. You a trifling fool.

You were supposed to call me. But you done trifling all day. I'm sitting here by my phone. Nobody answering the phone. Girl. Okay. Yeah. Is that convincing to you Matt?

Do you feel educated? It was satisfactory. I would prefer, Ben, you to use it as one of your favorite characters, perhaps Carrie. I will not tolerate anyone who does not act like a pure lady. I will not speak with someone

who acts like a trifling hoe. Perfect. I didn't call you a trifling hoe. It's classier when it's said by Candy. I didn't call you a trifling hoe. Perfect. I didn't call you a trifling hoe. It's classier when it's said by candy. I didn't call you a trifling hoe. I suggested you stop acting like one. Oh, okay. Huge difference. But I like that

Quad said that she never sent her a text calling her a whore. And you know what? I believe Quad. Because I think that Carrie was being a Paul Bunyan and being like, I told her not to act like a, you know, stop acting acting like a common hole but i don't think she actually said that because bitch would be in the ground right now if that was in that email busy she was busy dealing with duncan's endowment it probably was she probably got her text messages confused and sent it to the person the whoever the baker was that made that single tier cake for duncan

and what is this fake ass show where they're all pretending to fight but then Toya's secret dressing room footage her secret camera footage she was like those bitches be knocking on my door at three in the morning. And she's and Carrie's like I think they were in a hotel.

They were in a hotel. I could see Wad and Mariah getting up in the middle of the night in their jammies and going to fuck with toya i know but my thing is carrie is like when did they do that she's like last night last night after we walked we were we were at dinner so i was like you guys were all sitting there to dinner laughing and then they were fucking with you in the middle of the night and today you're pretending to hate each other shut up

she's like luckily i was already up because I was doing some research about the drug Khazar. I have came here to this hotel to read about the Khazar, and I want to learn more about the psychology. Oh, poor stupid Toya. Okay, are we done with that show? What else do we have? Yeah, let's go to OC. OC. Yeah.

You guys, Tamara's life has been so hard you guys no one told it that they loved her which led to her being a slut in high school which led to her getting pregnant which led to her getting an early marriage an early divorce which led to her almost killing herself which led to her marrying a terrible husband the second time um so this is all her mom's fault you guys so she's basically horrible because of her mom. How do you think Tamara tried to commit suicide? She said with pills. Yeah, but do we...

Okay. I don't know what to say after that. Except I want to talk about those kegel balls that Dr. Simone had earlier this season. And I wish that you had that audio clip queued up right now. Here's how I think Tamara tried to kill herself. You would put those vibrating balls in your vagina.

Sorry, a little late. I was at a quad time frame there. Yeah, I threw you on that. So Tamara used pills, but was it dexatrim or what um i think there were pills called not hard enough because first of all you should not be bragging that you tried to kill yourself and you couldn't even do that right all right and stop bragging that you were killing yourself like that gives you some that's like those homeless people on chopped who are like well i was homeless what are you so fucking proud about you were homeless stop bragging about it on tv tamra that you were

you were about to kill yourself that just makes you look weak and it makes you look like you can't follow instructions how about just not being a bitch they probably weren't even pills it was probably like flintstone kids vitamins or something like that yeah she totally like cut her finger and missed a vein she's an. I don't believe it. She's too selfish to ever kill herself. Here's the thing. I was just going to say that. She loves herself way too damn much to ever consider killing herself.

I love that these people showed up just wanting to hear about how to open up a business. And she's like, and then I had a baby at 17 and then I tried to commit suicide and then no one ever loved me. Why would she ever invite her mother to sit in the crowd and then essentially say you're the worst mom

in America and point a finger at her? Because she said she did it on purpose. She said once she knew, I mean, she literally said, once I knew what my speech was going to be, I thought it might be good to have my mom there because she needs to hear this. Right, because that is a proper forum to tell your mom because that is the that is a proper forum

to tell your mom about all of the demons in your closet and why she ruined your life on stage with a microphone yep in and by the way in in a hooker dress because the best way to address people about uh you know being a strong businesswoman is to wear a um mini uh mini dress with a keyhole cut out so your tits can hang out yeah and also being on a really cheesy show on bravo that you fucking lucked into is not um being an entrepreneur okay bitch like and how about you have a successful business and then give a speech yeah and by the way sorry but vicky gunnfelsen should have been up there yeah and what sort of convention has tamra barney as their keynote speaker? Ben, it's Orange County.

It's really... No, it was Los Angeles. It was the LA Convention Center. This is like the third week in a row that they've come up to LA. They've invaded our space. Maybe it was for that porn convention they have every year. I actually think you're right. I think it was like AdultCon.

You know how that takes over the convention center? It was either that or like the car show. No, it's probably like a boat show, even worse. Oh, that's true. They do have that there. It's probably like a mattress convention, mattress expo. Okay, what else are we going to talk about? Gretchen went...

Oh, I want to talk about Gretchen crying about her broken vagina. No, it's like lush and plump on the inside because she has a pervy doctor. I don't believe that for a second. I blame her, not Slade's vasectomy. Well, I love that the doctor was like, there's nothing worse than listening to your eggs crack. Like, wow. I have a question about vasectomies. When you have a vasectomy, is he able to ejaculate?

No, right? Because he's tied off. What? Why would any man ever do that yeah that's what i'm wondering like how does i so they don't keep having babies that they can wait okay but here's the question does stuff still like come out but just not like stuff does come out but yeah it's just clear then what color is it and how does it taste it's clear and um I don't know what it tastes like, but I'd imagine it needs a little nicolata mix in it like every other sperm. So it tastes a little less baby-ish? Ew, what? I don't know.

I don't know anybody with a vasectomy. I don't either. Well, I do, actually. But it was clear. Okay. I've only been there one time, but it was clear, and I think it's just like regular sperm,

but missing the white part. So it's just like pre-C. Yeah. But that has... That can have sperm in it, though. It can? So can you get pregnant off pre-C? Of course. You can get an STD off a pre-C match. Shut your face. I didn't know that.

Oh my god, I'm in danger. Pre-C is still C. It's just a little bit ahead of the rest of the gang. So pre-C is actually really C, but like diet C, like a little bit lighter? No, it's not even diet C.

It's just like regular C, except it's made with saccharin. You know what it's like? It's like if you opened up your C bottle, and you opened it up slowly, and a little bit squirted it out first, and then you let the fizz die down, and then you opened it up and drank the rest of the C bottle. So it's still potent C, but just less potent C.

It's like sushi without the eggs around it. It's like the first few drips, Matt. It's the exact same thing as sea. It's like a Snickers bar. Okay. It's like a Snickers bar without the nuts. So it's like a Milky Way compared to a Sway. Isn't that like an Almond Joy or a Mounds?

Well, I think a sleigh could say sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Wow. So there's still little fish in the feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Wow. So there's still little fish in the pre-C. Yeah. I don't know. I thought – I don't know. I don't know. People, pre-C –

I don't know. Okay. Let me explain something. Because I'm neurotic and a hypochondriac, I'm very up on things like STDs and how you can get them. And pre-C is just like regular C. It's just the first stuff that's dribbled out. It's not any less potent. It's the same stuff.

It's just it's a smaller amount. So the chances are probably... But what if you're a really big pre-C-er? Well, then... Are you? You just have more of it coming out. I don't know. Then you're just upping your chances.

Wow. Sorry, man. We should all... I just need to leave this podcast and get to a clinic, Minute Clinic, right now. All I gotta say is this conversation certainly makes me pre-C, that's for sure. Take a selfie

of that. This is our pre-cancellation podcast. Can we blame Slade for this conversation? Because we are now in this awful place. I think that we should blame Slade for everything In fact, yesterday I was apologizing to Vets for fighting for this country and we still have things like

Slade here I just saw Star Trek Why don't we put Slade in a torpedo instead of a super evolved human alien thing and put Slade in there and shoot him off to space. How about that instead? Spoiler alert! It's not really a spoiler.

It's a stupid thing in the film and movie. Forget it. Star Trek just lost my $15. It would only be a spoiler because Slade ruins everything, including a Star Trek movie, so you can't put Slade in a Star Trek torpedo because he would just ruin the movie then.

What was the outfit Slade was wearing? Didn't he look like a butler, like a fancy butler at some point in the episode? Well, he takes his fashion cues from the trinkets that Gretchen gets from Ross Dress for Less. She's like, ooh, I got a little butler. I'm putting it in my kitchen. He's like, oh, I'll dress like that.

I know we say this every week, but listening to stupid Gretchen whining, complain about wanting to give her husband the gift of a baby when he's got one that he's not taking care of across the country that's dying. It's disgusting. It kills me. It's killing me. And I really hope that Tammy Sue turns against this bitch really fast because Gretchen has had it way too easy this season. Don't you see the tide turning? I feel like there's no way this season can end without

Tammy Sue snatching that fake bracelet or taking the bracelet off that Gretchen gave to her and going, no, I'm back on team Vicky. I think that Gretchen is actually coming off as less likable than Tamara. I mean, we make fun of Tamara, but I find her still actually very entertaining to watch and she really brings it. But Gretchen is

just becoming so self-involved and so stupid, and she just thinks all this stuff is fascinating about her. I don't care. I don't want to see someone poking things up her vag. I don't care about that, Gretchen. No, me neither. I like that she's like, That thing's so big!

Is it going to go inside of me? How much of it? Slade, that thing's so big! I i was like poor slade and his little thumb wiener all she could do is talk about that how that little device was so giant i know it's like what does she have to compare to oh poor slade i i just miss the days when we liked gretchen back when when everyone on the cast hated her and she was sitting there alone and in the world of orange county and she was more fun when she was like owning her white trashness and you know when jeff was dying she would be like i'm gonna go visit my white trash family by the lake and i'm gonna put on

like a daisy a daisy duke bikini top and go like pontooning like that's the direction i miss i like that she's she's like too glammed up now and she just does stupid things I preferred her when old dying grandpas bought her motorcycles not when Slade buys her and by buys her I mean leases her a Rolls Royce that she pays for under her own name that she signed the papers for the day before clearly

I agree let's see so anything happened with Alexis she bounced around on a trampoline which was fun that was good for her she was like i can't just be bouncing around on the trampoline something could puncture or get sprained i like she's like you know i'm just trying to walk here and i feel like these trampolines are bullying me they're not letting me walk they keep bouncing me off like they're like get off the floor you can't be here i'm gonna throw you in the air they're bullying me there is no way that chick has a shot at one more season on this show she does nothing

i know she won't even show up at least they should like show us more of her acting class also please enough with this fake mom and my mom's a drug addict storyline and the mom's so pathetic she's like um i don't really appreciate you calling me a liar honey but you said you quit smoking well i'm only smoking a little um so you're lying you dumb bitch can we just move if you if you popped out a baby that looked as hideous as lydia you would be doing drugs way fucking harder than pot i think i like i think lydia's cute and by the way, I was also looking around Lydia's home. Because, you know, we like to trash all these women's homes and their decor.

And by and large, they actually have really good taste. Like, there are a few things that are not great. Ben, it's because her husband is a homosexual and knows how to decorate. That's true. They had some Eames chairs, you know. I mean, like, they know what's up. Although, I still can't get over their kids' names, Sterling and Maverick. It's just ridiculous.

I think if you put those two kids' names together, you'd have a porn star. Sterling Maverick. Or Maverick Sterling. Either works. I think I like Maverick Sterling. You're either a gay porn star or an evil surgeon on a daytime soap. They're like a porn Voltron.

You put them together and they become a porn star. Maverick Sterling. I think Sterling Maverick sounds more like a porn star. Maverick Sterling sounds more like Evil Surgeon. Either way, I think they have a lot of pre-C. Either way, I think Tom Skerritt should get involved. Sterling Maverick

sounds more like a brand. Maverick Sterling sounds more like a porn star. Not that we know anything about that. Everyone, you can vote on our Facebook page. What sounds more like a porn star? Not that we know anything about that. Everyone, you can vote on our Facebook page. What sounds more like a porn star? Maverick Sterling or Sterling Maverick? Please vote. We're really reaching for the stars today. We really

are. So Lydia, I think that storyline is going to be wrapped up because her husband was basically like, yeah, well, you know, your mom's like really cool and fun and like, stop bothering her. Who complains about their mom making them party too much as a teenager?

That's crazy. Actually, my mom kind of does that. So that's why I kind of... Never mind. I'm going to overshare and our listeners are going to... It's hitting way too close to home. My mom will typically call me and be like, hey, your father and I are going out and we're partying and getting messed up. it's just getting way too close to home because my mom will typically call me and be like um hey

your father and i are going out and we're partying and getting messed up and what are you doing and i'm like i'm watching tv she's like you're a loser and then she hangs up and then she hangs up the phone so at least your mom calls you before my mom calls me while she's drunk she's like hey this is your mom i just wanted to remind you, you're my life, okay? You're the blood that runs through my system, my body, my veins. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights,

she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus starting January 29th.

Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of.

But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy

early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. I still need to be invited. Do I have to pretend date you so that I can get an invite to Thanksgiving? No, you can't pretend date me because I never date. They'll nail you down. They'll be like, hi, Matt, would you like to check out the guest closet? You're stuck here forever! Then no.

You don't want to be dragged into that. So anyway, Orange County, we have spent a lot of time on for it being so stupid. Nothing really happened. Yes, it did. We didn't even talk about how much we hate Heather. We can't say how much we hate her. Okay, go ahead. By the way, here's my even talk about how much we hate Heather. We can't say how much we hate her. Okay, go ahead. By the way, here's my thing that I sort of realized about Heather.

It's so annoying that her opening title thing is that she says, whoever said that blondes have more fun haven't met me or hasn't met me. Somebody posted this on our Facebook page and it was hilarious. And the artwork on her children's hallways are math equations on chalkboards. That's how fun she is. and it was hilarious. And the artwork on her children's hallways are math equations on chalkboards. That's how fun she is. I saw that. Whichever one of you posted that on our Facebook page,

that was brilliant because that goes along perfectly with what Ben is saying, how not fun this woman is. She's so humorless and so lacking in being fun that it's amazing that that's her title. That's her little saying. And I love that he's like trying to apologize and he just can't word it right like he can he can't do anything right but hallmark yeah he's like babe you know maybe i was just a little jerky because maybe i was a little jealous

of your time no okay babe i've been a little sad. Now, okay. What do you want me to say? Excuse me, you haven't said hot in Cleveland 87 times within a three-minute span, so you are not channeling your real Heather. That sad, sad woman. Okay, so are you done talking about Heather? I got nothing else to say except that she's humorless, but she can be turned with a stupid card. Do you think that he would ever divorce her yes yeah

once he should older he should why why would you want to stick around while colette is in this phase because she's you know his wife is gonna be like i have an audition i'm leaving the babies with you he'd be stuck with these damn babies he needs to least let them, once they can poop on their own and stay home without a nanny, he'll be out of there. You know he's already getting dental hygienist wiener suckage. A lot of pre-C in the

OR. Yeah, you know he's going like next door to the dentist place and getting some dental hygienist blowjob or something. I mean, what is his wife giving him? Nothing. Cold stares and gerbil eyes. Is one of you sketching over there? I feel like I hear, like, a sketch being drawn.

No, I hear that, too. I think it's Ronnie. It is me. How'd you guys know? Are you doing a scratch-off lotto ticket? No, it sounds like a mechanical pencil. No, it's a pencil, but I sketched a lady, but she doesn't have a face, you guys. And I saw a TV movie once that means that I was abused.

Why are you sketching ladies? I don't know, you guys. I'm an artist. Right now, I just made a barn. And then I made a faceless lady. And then I made a lady wearing a hat. And then I made a guy with long hair wearing a Hawaiian skirt. You should scan those in and post them on our page.

I'm thinking about taking a pottery class this summer. Would anybody take a pottery class with me? No. Absolutely not. I hate all of you. I'll take a cooking class with you. I would do that. Not pottery.

Definitely not pottery, especially if it's at Color Me Mine. That is not pottery. That is painting already pre-made ceramics. That's true. It's a very Alexis Bellino afternoon activity place. Yeah, pottery. I just feel like pottery is going to make me wish that I had a relationship like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze had in Ghost. I'm never going to have it, and then I'll start crying.

And then my pottery will deflate, and I'll be like, I can't even make pottery right. How are we not going to cry at cooking class? We'll just be eating. Could it be a Haitian cooking class? No, although I did meet this girl who teaches cooking class yesterday, and she teaches Persian cooking. Oh, that's so Persian. Oh, my God, we just made some meat sticks.

We just made some dry cookies. I was just going to say the dry cookies. Why do you have to steal my line, you whore? Homegirl wasn't fast enough. I'm like, Homegirl, you got to hurry up if you can get your joke out with Reza in town. Hey, girl. Hey, girlfriend. Hey, girl.

What else? No more Orange County. I hate them. I watched this newlywed show because you guys have been yapping about it. Are you not hooked on this yet? You have to get hooked. I felt like it was five hours long. Oh, my God.

Is that a bad thing? It's going to make you not want to get married. It made me not want to get married. I will say our friend Lisa Timmons, she hails from the great state of Georgia, from Savannah. And she always talks about Savannah. And one of the storylines this week took place in Savannah. And I have to say, it was adorable. So, Lisa, you're right.

It's very cute. Let's see. What did I hate the least about the show? Probably the gays. When the gays were dancing, that was hilarious. Let's see. What did I hate the least about the show? Probably the gays. When the gays were dancing, that was hilarious. Ben, they are the worst. I thought you said last week that they are the best.

No, I said from the beginning that I've hated them with all of my being. No, they were like the most pleasant couple, I thought. What is wrong with you? Maybe I'm the only self-hater on this panel. Oh, the rest of the people were just terrible. Terrible people. Terrible. What ended up happening, because I only watched the first half this week because it was like three and we had a podcast and I was like,

I could watch the rest of this or I could go take a nap for 45 minutes. Some doctor told the Trezina lady, whatever, that she needs to hurry up and have babies because she's getting old and he said it in a like a really like curt inappropriate way she's like yeah you're basically gonna be ancient and then she was oh wait she's the one she's the one who said it's gonna hurt

when your eggs crack yeah she wasn't gretchen's baby i'm sorry that's just we had bravo storyline sorry we had we had two inappropriate fertility doctors in one night. But the other... First of all, I can't even talk about Tarzu and his lady without mentioning their hideous pillows that they have in bed. Did you notice those pillows? They're terrible.

Like, crazy colors. They were from the Mylar collection from JCPenney. What would Martin and Lawrence Ballard think of those pillows? Oh, they're ravishing. Oh, I love them. I want to take one down to Fresh Easy and sit on it and pick out the free samples that they have around the corner. It was disgusting.

Disgusting. And then she's sitting there making a fertility calendar using like this hideous sparkle pen thing that's like reserved for you're supposed to like I think that's like the stuff you put on like a t-shirt when you're like seven years old and you think it looks cool you know I just hated everything about that stupid girl

yeah that girl's really really horrible and she has such a cute husband he's too hot for her he's way too hot for her. Exactly. He is way too hot for her. He's got a cute friend too. Who's his friend? I didn't see that part. They modeled together back in the day and they were at the gym

bro-ing out. I love how X-Models are right on the verge of getting old. I love it. They're so accessible. It's like Vanderpump Rules all over again. Nothing is that good. That's what happened with them. And then we had... Alaska.

Alaska. Now here's... Alaska... He's an asshole. He is just an asshole. And a driver... Uh-oh. There's been a pause. There's been a pause in the skypage. Please wait and hold for Ben Mandelker and Matt Whitfield to return.

Right now, you're with me, Ronnie Karam. As we wait... Both Ben Mandelker... I'm here. I'm back. Well, welcome back, Ben. We're just waiting for our satellite feed to come back of Matt Whitfield, who should be back any minute. In the meantime, I was just giving a news update.

Well, I was babbling on. I don't know if you got it. You might just have heard just radio dead air on the podcast. I was saying that Alaska, he's like, you know, I think he's really cute, but he's such an asshole. He's such an asshole. And his wife seems super cool, and she's got good taste. And I liked her little love seat that she brought in although i do agree it should not be the main couch of the apartment it's too small way too small but like why not have both okay well this is the couple this is the woman who wouldn't let her bridesmaids

be in her wedding because they were too fat so she which we agreed with which we agreed with no i didn't because I believe that your bridesmaids should be fat. Wait, actually that's true. I think that you swayed me by the end because you want to look better as the bride so get super fat bridesmaids. Yeah, I've never been to a wedding where the pretty girls are actually bridesmaids.

They're all fat and if they are skinny and not to say that fat girls, you know what I mean. But the ones who are skinny, like the maid of honor is usually skinny. And she has really terrible hair because the bride makes sure that the gay gives her a terrible haircut. So she can still upstage her in some way. And the maid of honor can be skinny, but she has to be single and bitter. Yeah, and have like chlamydia.

Yeah. So that's that girl, Kim. So she's an idiot. And also she said that she believed that she's super christian so she believes that her husband should have all the power in the relationship and she's just going to be a good little wife and do whatever he says is that a christian thing what kind of thing is that really it's an idiot it's like just like a basic old fashion thing my parents were my parents did that And that's why I laugh at this couple. Because my parents used to do that.

My dad would say, you know, at the end of the day, the decision's mine. My mom would be like, yes, your father's the man of the house. Well, we all know that's bullshit. Everyone who knows my family knows that my mom runs that shit. It's like she's just saying that so my dad can feel like a man for, like, the two seconds she's not holding his balls in a vice. But isn't there a way to have quote of the podcast isn't there some way to make a man feel like the man of the house or or can't you be the man of the house without being an asshole without being a dick it doesn't

have to be a dictatorship because that's how his dad was to his mom and his mom never said anything and he was just being tough like his dad but i'm talking about alaska you know when alaska says oh i'm me too that's what alaska says he's like that because his dad was the controlling one in their family well he's just like a real dick like he's like going off to la and she's like what's your itinerary he's like you don't need an itinerary i'm going to la his itinerary is i'm flying to atlanta to shack up with tyler perry yeah yeah he wishes by the way a lot of Tyler Perry commercials on Bravo this week for his new soon-to-be-awful shows. On Oprah's network, right?

Yeah. What's that one, the soap opera-y one that looks ridiculous? And they all have AIDS. Yeah, that's what's going to happen. They all will get AIDS. It's called The Band Stopped Playing On Because They All Had AIDS. We're not talking about behind the Candelabra people We're talking about Tyler Perry on the show

Not yet Scott, I can't watch you doing this to yourself Scott That's Michael Douglas' performance In Behind the Candelabra I can't watch you do this to yourself Scott So then the next

Couple with that Long Island couple, this awful Long Island couple. Oh, is he not the nest? I mean, there's not enough money in the world. I would never get with that. Not only is he disgusting, but they're putting together this hideous little tanning salon in the most depressing strip mall in all of Long Island. And there are a lot of terrible strip malls in long island but this one here in suffolk county it just looks grimy i think it's called like glow glow tan or something like that crappy fonts neon in the window and like the only glow i like

rihanna and franny's glow gorgeous ladies of wrestling oh yeah with those old ladies yes you remember you remember those old two where's ronnie is ronnie like drawing a sketch and playing with the dog what the fuck i'm making a sketch of someone who's bossy to their wife he's got missing he's missing a hand spoiler ronnie i like that ronnie is like ronnie's having his own like hailey joel osment in some thriller from 1995 having to draw out the crime that he saw moment whatever Haley Joel Osment told me off in a bar

one time oh well I'm sure he was tanked is that before he wrapped his Saturn around that like pole like six years ago when he had no more money yeah it was around that time actually but no it wasn't because of that I think he thought I was a paparazzi but he was just talking to my cousin,

so I was taking a lot of pictures. I was being drunk and obnoxious, but I don't need to be yelled at the kid from Sixth Sense. Get out of my way, kid. No one was more drunk. Yes, pay it forward with Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey. Helen Hunt is now a very famous TV director, you guys. Wow. The things you learn on this show. Okay, Hunt, who's now a very famous TV director, you guys. Wow.

The things you learn on this show. Okay, yeah, Alaska's horrible. I cannot wait for Kim to dump him. They're not going to last. And who else on this show? Love the gays, because they're hilarious. And George Costanza and his wife are both ridiculous. So she's really pregnant?

Did that really happen? She is pregnant, which is... What a sad life that she's going to is that did that she is pregnant which is i mean what a sad life that she's gonna have why would anybody want to get and then make a baby on your honeymoon like aren't you supposed to enjoy like sex as a new married couple for like years and years before you start popping out screaming obnoxious monsters no because we we all waited we all this generation is waiting too long to settle down it's like by the time we settle down it no because we we all waited we all this generation is waiting too long to settle down it's like by the time we settle down it's because we have to have a baby before our ovaries fall out on the floor you're talking about us like we are all popping out babies

we're gonna do it and you know gay people are really doing this the dumbest way because we're all starting so fucking late i was at this memorial day party yesterday and there were gays with the baby there. And, of course, they were like my meemaw and pawpaw. It's like by the time we finally decide to stop fucking half the city, we're 60 years old. That is not the time to be getting a little half-Asian newborn, you guys. Yeah, but we'll still be wearing way too tight diesel jeans and getting Botox. So even though we are 65, we will look 42, and that little Asian baby will just fit perfectly in with our tragic lifestyles we'll be in our 80s when those kids are graduating we're not going to do them any good i mean yes

it's no kids for me no kids for me not a problem on my end why is that did you get a vasectomy too much pre-c you know i was like enough cut it off do you have a ton of anti-sperm antibodies? No, I just don't want a kid. I don't want a kid. Why not? None of us do until we're 80. They're so annoying. Well, I'll talk to you when you're 60. On your 60th birthday power hour,

I'll bet you're going to be like, hey, Michelle Collins, how would your eggs like to meet my little sperm dinkies, my little mandelkirsch sperms? My little mandelkirb sperms. My little mandelkirb sperms. I bottled some pre-C for you. In an actual baby bottle. Please take this into my powder room and do what you have to do.

I have a very literal insemination process. I want to inseminate you with a baby bottle, and I will shake a rattle. And I'm going to lock you in a room with a stork so I just wish Bravo would start spreading these shows out because as it is it's like we record this on Tuesday and it's like Sunday there's a show Monday Sunday Monday

it's too much it's too much I need more days then the rest of the week is the crap like Tabitha takes over and million dollar listing and Chef Roble. Which I actually watched this past week. I'm not watching Roble, but I watched Tabitha this week and as much as I love her, I've interviewed her. I think she's awesome.

I think that she should have won season one of Sheer Genius. Her show is tired. It is. She needs to put some relaxer in it and go away. She needs to go take on abc uh or amy's baking company in scottsdale let's see how that okay now i would pay 5.99 to watch that on video on demand but um in the meantime there are only so many trashy shitholes in long beach that she

can try to pretend to resurrect with a 4.99 budget, and by the way, that brings me to my one last point about newlyweds. Frickin' Tarsu or Tarsi or Tarzan and that girl, they live in Riverside. I mean, enough said. Well, it's not Azusa with Sheena Sheena Sheena. It's deeper than Azusa. Okay.

But they have three homes, that's why. They have one in California, they own an apartment in New York, and they live in... North Carolina or something. No, like North Carolina or something. It doesn't matter. Riverside negates it all. I hate that tattoo. This is what I raise a girl to make a tattoo on her face.

I don't like it. Because whoever had the taste level to say, I want to have a house in Riverside, that to me says you're just awful but you know that's that's just that to me says you're just awful and couple that with those pillows I mean I'm sorry I cannot deal no this is a thing this is a problem with you not keeping up with the show because this is why they live in Riverside because that

is the home of her dead mother and so she's living there because her dad couldn't accept the fact that her mom died and he had to move out so she's taking care of the house so way to way to ruin everything all right hey does that mean that she was raised in riverside it would sure explain a lot wouldn't it yes it certainly would so okay maybe maybe it's not as bad as i was saying but it also means that she has riverside in her blood yeah does that surprise you no no not at all do you guys think that her tattoo is ugly because i'm actually thinking of getting one in that general area uh-oh uh what what is her tattoo doesn't she have like a dead scrolly eyeball that reminds her of her dead mom no i think they got um yeah she's like i i want a tattoo of an old lady with chicken neck

to remind me like the worst memory ever no they're they're they're of a word her and her husband both got or she and her husband both got the same tattoo and i think it's a word doesn't it mean like where is it where in the body um where it's on body? It's on her inner forearm. Oh, okay. I think it's a word that means $5.99. I think you should get a hummingbird and get that tatted behind your ear.

Me? Only if I can go with my mom on Mother's Day because we're really besties. Oh my god, we're like besties. I love my mom. Oh. Do you guys want to talk about Behind the Candelabra? I didn't see it, but you guys can yap away about it.

It was so terrible slash amazing slash really terrible slash Rob Lowe deserves five Emmy Awards for his role on the screen for five minutes as a plastic surgeon. Yes. It's a week later after I saw it, and i'm still not sure how i feel about it i was very disturbed but i also laughed but seeing michael douglas naked all that

time and like making out with matt damon i did not need that excuse me ronnie they were not they were not just making out there's a scene of matt damon riding michael douglas like there's no tomorrow um yeah he and michael douglas was on the bottom and then michael douglas talked about of Matt Damon riding Michael Douglas like there's no tomorrow? Yeah. And Michael Douglas was on the bottom. And then Michael Douglas talked about, they talked about how Michael Douglas could do it like four times in a row. And then he admitted that he had something put inside of him so he could just keep going and going.

And it makes him feel so young. And it was just so gross. And Matt Damon plays this drug addict guy. And he's just basically there because Liberace is really rich. And then Liberace gets rid of him because he's a raging drug addict. And I was like, am I supposed to feel sorry for the raging drug addict? And then did he make up this scene where Liberace calls him back to his deathbed just to say I'm sorry and give him a ring? Like, I didn't buy any of that shit.

But it was fun listening to Michael Douglas go, Scott! Okay, so here's the thing. I watched it for the first 20 minutes. I was like, this is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Michael Douglas should have to give back his Oscars. Then, by the end of the movie, I looked at the YouTube clips of Barachi,

and he nailed it. Yeah. He did a good job. was just really and why are we why are we talking about this we should be talking about how hot matt damon looks shirtless with that built-out chest that he has never had before slash he may be hotter than ben affleck um ben affleck is not hot and also i read a blind item a long time ago that talked about ben affleck having horse press and nobody could work with him because he stinks so bad so maybe that's why i've never thought he was hot but also matt damon's butt in this movie come on guys it was like a billboard for squats i wanted to come

home and do squats did he have do you think it was really his butt or did you think he had a stand-in no that was all damon but i mean in that little white speedo watch out yeah it was matt damon but and then we saw him get fat again and then he went on something called the Hollywood diet which is just a bunch of pills and then he became addicted to pills what do you think I'm on is that what it is the Hollywood

diet because you haven't become a raging cokehead yet could you tell me what pills they are because I need them I'm going to take them I'm going to commit to a program do you really want me to tell you the magic pill? I will tell you, but I don't know if I should tell you on the podcast. You should.

There is a pill called Ketozyme 7. Hold on. How do you spell it? I think it's like K-E-Y-T-O-Z-Y-M-E 7. Ketozyme? It's's ketozyme something anyway my um nutritionist slash i don't know what he really is um he's my rob low i'll just put it that way he's my

rob low from behind the candelabrum he prescribes it it's not a prescription actually you can buy it from a special doctor and i take homeless manK.A. the homeless man down the street. A.K.A. the homeless man down the street. And I take three of them every day. And it just, I think it makes you either pee your fat away or something. I don't know, but it's magical. I need you to spell it for me again. I don't have it spelled. It's ketozyme.

All I know is it ends with Z-Y-M-E. Z-Y-M-E? Oh, ketozyme? Oh, ketoxyme? Maybe. Okay. K, ketoxime. Maybe. Okay. Ketoxime. There's no...

No. No, I don't see that. Why did it come up on my suggestion? Okay. Seriously, send it to me. Okay, does it make you sweat in your butt? I'm sweating right now a little bit. But, I mean, I only took two today

I didn't take three today well actually I think it does make you sweat all day long I don't know I have the shakes and I sweat all the time but I don't know if that's coffee or the drugs in my system and the fact that I don't eat food anymore well when I was skinny it's because I used to take ephedrine when that was out but it was in you took ephedrine

what is wrong with you says the drug addict hey I've heard really good things about fen fen when that was out, but it was in... You took a Phaedron? What is wrong with you? Well, back before... Says the drug addict. Hey, I've heard really good things about Fen-Phen. Anyone? You guys, listen. Here's the deal with Fen-Phen, okay? That was only outlawed because stupid fat people kept taking 20 of them so that they would get even skinnier.

You were only allowed to take a certain amount. No one who took the recommended amount died. So let's all stop being so dramatic. And also, i was very skinny back then and i was very cute and fen fen was in the drug zenit wait is it zenadrine that diet drug that's out now yeah zenadrine yeah and now it doesn't have that guess what it's a bunch of bullshit and it doesn't work i want fen fen back you know what just get yourself a worm and you know you'll be eating for two. It'll be great.

That's what they used to do back in the 60s. They used to give you a worm. What are you talking about? Like an intestinal worm? A tapeworm? They gave it to you? How did they give you one? You swallow it. Shut up.

No. It grows and grows and it eats everything. And then how do you get rid of it? I think it sort of decides, you know what? Time for a new home. And it gets right on out of you. And it crawls out decides you know what time for a new home and it gets right on out of you and it crawls out of you do you have to go see dr jackie probably you may have to even see duncan because he is a surgeon that is true i'm so horrified but also i want a worm and and ketoxime when's your birthday i'll buy you a worm and some pills. You will? You're so nice.

It's at the end of August. Can we just pretend it's next week? Okay, done. We'll move it up. Yeah. I'll get older quicker if I can be thinner faster. And we can have the worm on the podcast. Like, hey, so how's it going from inside Ronnie's stomach? He'll be like, I'm too tired from all those little seizes that I've had. The worm's like, ah, man, I'm too tired from all those Little Caesars that I had. The worm's like,

oh man, I need a worm. Now I want Little Caesars. I don't know how to get the worm out, because I don't want to just be sitting at the movies or something, and the worm's like, well, time to go. And then it comes crawling out. It's not like that. It's not like Alien. But I think it does, like, doesn't it come out of your stomach or something, and they have to like...

What? Is it like a chestburster? No, it's like... I'm sure if you go onto youtube you can see all sorts of awful things but actually i think you can kill a worm just by taking something too you probably have to keep the worm for a little bit and then you have to kill it and you become the worm what is wrong with us i feel like this was very low energy and we talked about no TV. I was thoroughly enthralled during the entire thing. Especially this wormy part. I like the worm. When the best part of the podcast

is us talking about pre-C, there's an issue. Well, it was Memorial Day. I spent all day yesterday writing thank you cards to veterans and drinking. So I'm tired, you guys. I spent all day yesterday writing thank you cards to veterans and drinking. So I'm tired, you guys. I am still hungover. I am so sorry for the endless stream of photos on that Instagram. I am so embarrassed.

Don't be embarrassed. You couldn't have been any worse than me on Vine because I finally discovered Vine. And that's all I did. I put like 50 videos on there. I probably lost like 100 people. Oh, are you kidding? I put like 50 videos on there. I probably lost like 100 people.

Are you kidding? I posted a photo of me falling over on a couch with my legs to heaven, and I lost four followers in a span of 30 seconds. Well, you don't want those followers anyway, by the way. It's true. If they don't want to see my ass in the air, then I don't want them. Yeah, I can't deal with my realness. Ronnie has made me get into Vine now,

and so I started posting a lot of Vines over the weekend. And last to tell you guys no so you don't feel too bad i made a vine that was about two cherry tomatoes talking to each other so really like we all have been into a dark place wow somebody give you a webby award for that that was an amazing one you never know i think that could become a show like every episode is seven seconds. I like it. Maybe I will. I'll do another one. I'll do another Cherry Tomato situation tonight. Right after this, in fact. Oh, the sequel! I took a bunch of them yesterday, but I didn't post them because everyone was yelling at me.

Because I was posting too many of them. So I was like, okay, I'll stop and I'll secretly take them anyway. I'm like, right now, running around the bush is my favorite one. I like the one with the vodka attacking you yeah yeah that vodka attacked me and then it's really fun okay yeah seriously like follow us on vine like I only have I don't know like a handful of followers so please like

follow me on vine because you know me if I don't have enough followers I get sad I don't even notice but I mean i think it would be more fun if we were all playing together that's for sure why don't we start making 21 second movies and each of us gets like act one act two act three i like that idea okay our first one's gonna be about diet pills okay i'll be act two all right um i'll be i'll be act one okay you do it and tag us both and then I'll do act two and then Matt can finish it off with act three okay okay

and then you guys can send me the files and we'll put them together into like one little movie and put it onto our Facebook page yeah totes go onto my Facebook page I wrote a song called my friends and I used all my vines from last week and they were really cute you guys okay so I guess we're done with from last week, and they were really cute, you guys. Aw.

Okay, so I guess we're done with this. Next week, we will be talking about other things. Such as the Real Housewives of New Jersey season premiere, folks. Oh, my God. Princesses, Long Island. Oh, my God. Reels? And Mary Tamed's reunion part deux. You guys, I hope you enjoyed this boring ass podcast because it's the

last boring one you're gonna have all summer shit is gonna blow up I enjoyed it I was having a good time over here shit's gonna explode princesses long island if you're 27 and you're living with your parents it's time what did she say to get an NJB

nice Jewish boy oh it's time to panic what happens when you're to get an NJB. Nice Jewish boy. It's time to panic. What happens when you're 33 and living in West Hollywood adjacent and you're single? What is it time for? It's time to wait 20 years before you adopt an Asian child

that you're way too old to raise. God, I'm doomed. Honey, you're still young in straight people years now i'm sad i need to go take some diet pills put again on top of that save some for me okay bye everybody love ya come find us on facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crappens you can find me ronnie on twitter at TVgasm. You can find Ben at bsideblog. And you can find Matt at lifeonthemlist.

You can also find us all on Vine. I'm Ronnie Karam, two words, K-A-R-A-M. Matt is, are you Matt Whitfield on Vine, Matt? I'm lifeonthemlist across the board. Oh, good one. Good branding. And Ben is benmandelker on Vine. So come find us. Good one. Good branding. And Ben is Ben Mandelker on Vine.

So come find us. We'll be having our short film festival on Vine this week. So join in. Yeah. Now that the Cannes Film Festival is over, it's time for us to have our Vine Film Festival. Yeah, now it's time for the Cannes Film Festival. Okay. We will talk to you guys next time.

Thanks for being here. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Getting a good shave can be a real pain in the ass. You've got to search through 50 different brands and models, matching new blades to old handles that stop being compatible, paying for bullshit features where your razor doubles as a flashlight or a vibrator or a toothpick. Who wants to pay $20 for some new razors, Matt?

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The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there. And I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza Slicinger. Slicinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash waitforitcomedy.

There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Tudine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and 3 comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico.

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Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com.