Watch What Crappens - #829 RHOC: The Midterm Elective Surgery Results Are In!

Episode Date: November 7, 2018

Shannon and Vicki had dueling nips and tucks on the latest Real Housewives of Orange County, and we are here with minute by minute coverage of all the breaking news! What we know is that Shannon had to pick a dream and Vicki covered her face with a scarf afterwards. Meanwhile, Gina pissed off Tamra, and Emily went to therapy. Somehow we cracked up the entire time. Come listen to our recap! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I have crap I have crap I have crap I have been running for so much What crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much What crap is

Who cares what crap What makes all the crap Who cares what This one happens when this one happens This one happens when this one happens This one happens when this one happens This one happens when this one happens Hey everyone, welcome to WatcherCrapins The podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me on this festive election day in America

is the one and only man who encompasses the red, the blue, the white, all the colors of the flag, both American, Dutch and French. It's Ronnie Caram from Roseprick's Bachelor Rose Podcast. What's going on? Oh, I'm just a patriot, man. You're just a patriot who can't say no. How's it going? How are you doing?

Did you vote today, Ronnie? I vote early say no. How's it going? How are you doing? Did you vote today, Ronnie? I vote early, man. So I've already voted. So everybody is texting me and tweeting me. And on my Facebook, on my bullshit, off my ass. How about that? Okay? I voted.

Okay? I'm gonna make a little voting sticker for the next election, the Ab Ramona space, that just say I voted. Okay? Get off my ass. You don't support other voters. That's a good idea, you know, today I'm actually randomly wearing the Lily Tomlin shirt that I made

as part of our big business t-shirts, and I wore it to the polls. I wasn't trying to make a statement, but I realized it was like a really good election day t-shirt statement because it's her being like, save Jupiter Hala, which is like my own little political message today everyone saved Jupiter Hala so I'll get behind. Yeah, I think that's a movement that all of America can unite behind So guess what more importantly than all this election of course is the fact that we have a live show this Friday just four days away

the fact that we have a live show this Friday, just four days away. Tickets are still available. You got to come because we're going to talk about Real Housewives of Dallas. If you're worried about going solo, don't worry. You'll make friends. This happens at every show. I want to go, but I don't want to go alone. Don't worry. These are your people.

There's already like over 400 tickets sold. So this is going to be a big ass show. You're going to want to see it. We don't know when we're going back to Pacific Northwest But I mean we'll go back at some point But come to the show watch our crap is dot com for tickets and our Nashville show We are very proud to announce has sold out so if you didn't get your tickets for that so sorry But that has sold out so thank you everyone who bought tickets for that that really really makes us so excited

It's so awesome to go look at our website and see like sold out sold out sold out sold out. So thank you everyone who bought that because for that, that really really makes us so excited. It's so awesome to go look at our website and see like sold out sold out sold out sold out makes us feel very excited that we're growing as podcasters. So thanks all and of course, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, of course, it is the holidays, officially. And we have holiday, holiday swag for you guys. Ronny has made some delightful things in our little crap and merch store. There is a ho ho ho, okay. Sure it with Ramona's faces on it. There is a happy Ramona, which has a Ramona with, I mean a Minora with Ramona's face on it.

Minora sounds like it's almost Ramona backwards, but it's not. And then there's some Hald that Ronnie Alcimit. It's just great, great stuff. It's amazing stuff, guys. Go over and get it. You can get links for that and link store live shows over at watchwoodcrapins.com. Oh my god. So go do that. And while you are doing that, let's move on to talk about Real Housewives of Orange County. Yeah, baby. Okay. So Real Housewives of Orange County. Yeah, baby. Okay.

So real housewives of Orange County, I love, you know, as the season progresses, starting to understand by openings a little bit more, you know, it's like, Oh, things make sense, like shots from scenes that we have yet to see, but then we see them, it makes sense. This week, what I noticed was Tamra is like, I'm the toughest to batch. And I'm like, I'm the toughest, Tim Batch. And I'm like, you're saying that in your opening

while you're standing in the waterfall, you couldn't climb because you're ankle hurt. Okay, you was. Yeah, you're not tough. You sit in the waiting pool. Yeah, Batch. Yeah, Batch. I loved that this episode was called Twin Tweaks.

That is like one of the funniest names ever for a Bravo episode. So a little golf clap for the producers, rebounding, creative rebound from from last season and from that strange, butt transition wipe that we saw a few weeks ago. Twintweaks makes up for all of it. It sure does. And just to give you a little teaser of what's coming, the episode begins with the kid wiping out on a surfboard. Yeah, yeah, exactly. We are back in Orange County, Jamaica, Mon is in the past and we start off with something super exciting.

Really changes my opinion about Steve. He's vacuuming pool chairs and he's concerned about nets. You know, it'll give anybody a boner a guy with a dustbuster. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he has one of those like ant-eater dustbusters. One of the ones that has like big long tube, which like gets like really up and in there and you're like Steve, stop that. Yeah, he's got a pop-off special out there.

It's like the strongest sucker you can get. Speaking of, Vicki comes there. It's like the strongest sucker you can get. Speaking of Vicki comes out and she's like, hey, I bring you to your favorite creep soda pop-up. Got some chicken and dumplings on the stove over there, but you know, for now, here's some badges. I'm surprised that Vicki even knows what a cream soda is. Like that's that that's sort of shocks me. Dating an old dude in papa, you know Kirkland Kackies and a papa dustbuster you learn things like that. Yeah You learn what stuff like that is as he's like, oh hey, Vic. There's maps around here

I know that this one's bringing you a creeps. So okay Hey, Vic whatever happened to those Kirkland sunglasses. I got you. Oh, yeah, those, those, they went flying off on the Jamaican Bubs that I went on. I mean, I knew it'd be dangerous and the last thing I wanted was for those really cheap sunglasses to go flying off my head. But I guess they did. Oh well, I guess you'd have to get me some new ones. Maybe something more expensive. I don't know. I don't know. I had nothing to do with Dricky too much because I totally didn't know for so much, Steve. I totally didn't woohoo. I didn't do it Steve had I didn't drink too much But Tabras had to have a little bit and then we see a clip of Vicki just getting crazy. Yeah in her you know

Fadra macrame Yeah, her red stripe beers, which is like her you know Vicki's version of meth. Yeah exactly. She's like so So now now that she's back from vacation Vicki's version of meth. Yeah, exactly. She was like, I want to drink. I want to drink. I want to drink. So now that she's back from vacation, we learned that Vicki is getting a little tweak, a little nip and tuck in the jaw area, which is funny because Shannon's also getting her eyes done. And Steve is like, yeah, Vic, you know, this is nice, but after this, you got to promise to stop. Like, this is it. I'm like, Steve, Vic, you know, this is nice, but after this, you got to promise a stop.

Like, this is it. I'm like, Steve, you poor thing. In like three years time, her face just gonna look like a tire. Okay, like, it's just, it's never gonna stop. A tire swing. It'll be back in fourth thing. Like, I hope I'm pretty enough, you Steve. It'll be one of those tires.

I bought a bit Steve. One of those tires swings that you're about to get into, and then you look, you see all this rainwater that's accumulated in it, and you're like, mm, not today. You said on it, you get a markshal over you. Like, wait a minute. There's little, little dead leaves in the water too.

So you have to lift up the tires tires the water falls out and kind of like Splashes on you But some of the water goes into the other side of the tires then when you put it back down the water slosh out again And then on you again, and you're like Why am I still with this the stupid tire swing? Why don't I just have a rig of swing? Mickey's that tire swing that that lamb ran through on that Facebook viral video like this lamb tried to run through One of the tire swings and then it gets stuck and then all the other Lambs are around it watching it just go back and forth trying to get out

That is big you know all the other lambs or Tamra and Shannon like well Shannon is the lamb that's going like this like Oh, oh, like you know she's got her like I'm about to blow a flute face and then Tamra is the, and then Gina is the lamb that wants to go save her. And then Tamra's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, let's just watch. Let's just watch. Yeah, then Tamra just let's all their throats and drink Serblad on national TV. Yeah, she's satanic. Yeah, that's a good space. Yeah, so then we get a montage of Vicki's faces. And she's like, I just want to be pretty. I just want to be pretty for that. That's how they really care about. You know, woo-hoo, this is a good job. I wish I was there.

I wish I was, I wish I was prettier. And then we see things as a base. Or from like, I don't know. It's like when you're getting a car, but you know, you're like in our price range. And so you're at the Toyota place and you're like, should I get a Toyota Corolla? A Toyota, wait, Toyota Corolla, a Toyota, wait, is Toyota Corolla?

Yeah, Toyota Camry. A Camry, or should I just save $20 and get one of those, Sion cars, you know? Right. And it's like, am I really, like, should I just save up until I can get a Porsche? You know, that's the real question. And that's kind of what this face morph was. Yeah.

It's like, maybe just save up. Yeah, exactly. Rather than do like a rather than go from like Corolla to Camry, a used Avalon back to a Camry, another Camry, just save up for the Lexus. It's the same. It's the same company, but it's just nicer. Yeah.

How about instead of being a tire swing, you save up to be a porch swing. But then part of me is thinking maybe she's just trying to get Steve excited for surgery, so he'll go to boob job. And what you'll think is a good plan. It is. It is. So then we find out that Vicki has a brain thing We know. Are you blaming all your surgeries on this tumor? And she has, after all this time, she's still hasn't told the doctor that she's had this crazy

condition in her head, where he is basically going to be like, he's going to be like tying her loose skin around this tumor, you know, so like, what, how do you not tell him? Yeah. So he's like afraid he won't redo her face again or whatever, but, you know, so like, what? How do you not tell him? Yeah. So he's like afraid he won't redo her face again or whatever, but, you know, I say a tumor that's always going to be there can be a good starting point. Yeah, exactly. You know, she's like, I got a half a Frankenstein tumor over there. So when you're using a stud finder to figure out what to put the nail, you know, it's like, boom Oh, we really making fun of Vicky's in 18 or this is terrible. Um, I think we're just, we're just talking about the practicality. Let's just go back to testing. I really want to be a rib swing though. Um, so now, uh, speaking of, speaking of crumbling backyard playground things, Eddie and Tamra are in the backyard,

and guess what, Eddie's wearing a hoodie, wearing a hoodie, which I know that's like never been a thing that we've talked about, but I just realized like, he spent this entire season in a hoodie, and on the one hand, I get it because hoodies are kind of the best thing you could ever wear at any given time,

but you're also on TV, sir, and you're also the face of a fitness brand. So you should maybe show off the guns a little bit. Well, I think it's like ugly Betty, whereas she wears glasses and she's ugly, but then she takes off glasses and she's pretty. I think that's like Eddie. He's like, I'm sick, I'm wearing a hoodie.

And then when he takes off his hoodie, we'll be like, oh my god, he's healed. Yeah, I think so. I'm gonna cost you a costume. Cost you a prop. That's how we know what's going on. So he's like, I'm home. It's just, you know, problematic.

And then guess what else is happening in this scene? Tamra is a dustbusters some furniture as well. It's like a, well, dustbusting furniture is the hot trend in Orange County these days. No kidding. Welcome to the most exciting house lab show on Bravo. Two scenes in a row of dustbustering and boring husbands. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so Tamra is telling Eddie about like the trip and everything and she's like, yeah, Janine, I'm like, that's just, I don't know, hey, it's a crazy time. And of course, Eddie's like, uh, Shannon, she just sucks you dry, sucks you dry, which is, I'm surprised that Tamara did not say, you know, I'll sucks me dry, you,

when you give me kind of a mix on my vagina, cause we do that all the times. Mother John, that's so works, bitch! That's the girl's fuff snubs and he's like, yeah, cuz she thinks her shit don't stink. Yeah, there's nothing grosser than a guy talking shit about what are the other housewives. He's gross. You know, especially knowing he's still hanging out with David and well, he was at this time.

I don't think there are any more in real life, but I don't don't know but yeah, I just tell me was it's like gross Eddie Don't you have enough to do don't you have enough to mumble about the guest room? Don't you have enough Greek salads to order so Tamra's she's like I just felt bad because you know Shana requires so much batch and I like just stressing me out and I just get aggravated I just unloaded my feelings and other people and I should learn to keep my mouth shut But I just can't do it cuz I'm like just stressing me out and I just get aggravated. I just unload my feelings and other people and I should learn to keep my mouth shut But I just can't do it because I'm the victim here. It's okay. I just want to.

When I talk about shannins, does that make me a bad friend? I'm like, oh yeah, it does. It does make you a bad friend. And now you're just wondering. So now she's doing this or typical tamer of backpedal through the baptism fountain or whatever. The baptism by a tire swing. Swim me back the other way to the back.

Because I'm a good person. I am the victim here. I'm just a good friend talking about shaman. Only because I care. Yeah, yeah. Shannon is the reason I can't get a boner. She's like, let's fix that. Actually, it's his heart medication, but you know, yeah, but she's like, I feel like a drug addict because she calls. I see she calls and I sneak down stats and I'm like, hi, it's time right. You're a hot friend.

I'm calling you in secret right now to answer your questions and Eddie can't know. So it's like I have a drug problem. It's like meth. Except instead of meth, it's me being hot on the phone to Shannon. Yeah, so you're such a good person going to hide because your husband hates your friends so much. Yeah, and we're gonna circle back onto this obviously because it's the big fight at the end of the episode.

But we're gonna circle back onto Tamara and the way she talks about her friends and then acts like a victim. So instead, why don't we go with Emily and Shane to therapy? God, this is gonna go well. Yeah, so they, the two of them go to therapy in the basement of a house where they meet with Karin Chao. And basically, Emily is there, bursting with emotion and she's just sitting there like, I wonder if I should get some lean cuisine tonight. It's a therapy or borrower, it's a forrower. King of snarkasm.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But he's sitting there like an angry bald little child. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, This is not the face or the body language of someone who wants to be in therapy who wants to work through issues who wants to discuss his emotions at least not on TV So Emily's like doctor. I don't know if I told you the doctor's an on a ball and said we should go to therapy Like you're in therapy. Yeah, like she knows she figured it out So basically no she's serious because she's got a sign behind her, like a Gina style sign behind her that says, Damly. I guess anybody was wondering what this therapist is.

Yeah, I liked that. I was very on the nose. It was like, okay, this is what she's going to deal with. So Emily, you know, talk about how she wants more kids, but Shane is not interested in having more children. And he's getting annoyed. He's like, now I'm the one who looks hard-less you know, talking about how she wants more kids, but Shane is not interested in having more children, and he's getting annoyed. He's like, now I'm the one who looks heartless

because I don't wanna have another kid. I'm like, you look heartless because you don't seem emotionally invested in your wife right now. Yeah, you look heartless because you act like a heartless prick, like what do you want? Okay? Yeah, you look heartless because you actively look

like the Grinch, which continues to pop up in opportune times. Yeah, she's like, when we lost our twins, you know, I know it was emotional for him because he's more nothing but white pull-up socks ever since. And, you know, that's how he shows his emotion. This is actually a super, super sad scene, and I really don't want to talk about Emily

losing multiple chill for Incas, like, that's sad. Oh, of course it is. It's very dramatic. As much as we make fun of Shane for being cold or whatever, I think it's just clear he does not want to do this on TV. On top of that, clearly this is the way the grief and the agony of that has now shaped him which is sad in its own way. But basically, the long and short of it is that when she lost her twins,

because she had that premature labor, the hospital made her like a little box that has some stuff in it, like birth certificates and death certificates and other things, and Emily has not had the fortitude to go look in that box, it's been too hard. But Shane has. Shane's like, I am seeing this stuff in there. I'm like, no. Thanks for like, could you just like try to like, come for your wife right now? Can you just like try to be there for your wife at this moment?

He's just mad as he's has to do this on TV and he's pissed. It's like every time he's on TV, it's either being yelled at by Kelly or talking about how he doesn't want kids and looking like a total jerk, you know? Yeah, yeah. So then we go commercial break, we come back, it's like little shots of what the women are doing around town I was very excited because we we start with Kelly at that musical theater school Trying to show the girls how to dance like this. What you do? Just do do this just bring around your shoulders back Let me show you how to work it

Mom mother Jesus We're seeing Miss Saigon right now. Yeah, it's like all over twist. She's like So I was really sad look there's a lot of sad stuff that happens in this. This episode, you know, there's like baby birth certificates in a box. There's like so much sadness. Gina with, I mean, a tamer with the deskbuster. Like, there's a lot of sad things, but this Gina and her casita has to be the saddest part. It's like, oh no. Yeah. What's her heart? Yeah, devastating.

Devastating. It's just a heart. What's her heart? Yeah, heart to watch. She's like, Mom, you wanted to have my living room? What? Here's the living room. Here's the bedroom, which is in the living room.

Here's the makeup room, which is in the bedroom, which is in the living room. And her mom's like, oh, that's cool, the studio, honey. She was like, in this wall right here, I'm going to get one of those clocks, from marshals that looks like it's from like big band, but it's actually my wall. You know, like a giant, giant clock

that takes up the whole wall, because that's like really cool. And then I'm going to put a floor to the leo over here, and then I'm going to put a little sign up that says wall. Should I put the sign that says living room in the living room with the bedroom? I want to put up a thing that says home is where the heart is and then have a sign that says heart next to it. What do you think about that mom? Steady out! Garsh!

It's time to go to a commercial! Ah! Craig! Yeah! It's time to go to a commercial. Ah, Craig. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy

and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. So now Tamra is planning a birthday party for Spencer. I think this is less a birthday party for Spencer as much as it's going to be a celebration that he is now a longer a minor and can come back on TV and make tamer really look like a good mom. Yeah this is a fuck you ex-husband my child is

old enough to unearace me for a day. Yeah he's coming on TV and getting the star treatment. Sydney! Sydney! Yeah she's like I've been tracking a lot and Eddie's like yeah he came home wasted and I usually get someone you're drunk. she's like, I've been tracking a lot. And Eddie's like, yeah, he came home wasted. And I usually get someone you're drunk. I was like, oh, okay, your vagina's working too. We get it, you two. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, so she's going to be planning a big party for Spencer and then she starts plucking boogers out of Eddie's nose,

which has its own unique charm, I guess. And then- Like, you have a bat in the can! It's like, I know. That's like, happened ever since I got then- You have a bat in the cave. Like, I know. This happened ever since I got married. You are the bat in the cave. Ta-ra. Got your bugger.

Ain't it. Ain't it. Wow, I want to put my bat into your cave because that's what we like to do all the time. Get it, penis into vagina, sex, we love it. We do it all the time. Yeah, like you want me to have the sex. I would be having sex with you right now with my penis in your vagina sex, we love it, we do it all the time. I would be having sex with you right now

with my penis in your vagina, except that it might kill me. So therefore, I'm gonna sit here and eat a salad and galow around you, but otherwise, I would be having sex which I want and desire from you because we do it all the time. So then, Vicki's over at Newport Surgery and he's like, get ready Vick, half of your last

time you're ever gonna get anything done on your face ever. It's like, yeah, yeah, you know, just a little t-tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck, get a job, get a job, you know how it goes. Hey, I brought a little jar of salsa so we can open it up together just in case this is the last time, you know what I'm saying. She's like, it's the thing happens to me, this little black box at the floor. You get everything. Look, what are you applying? I like the bikis. I like the bikis like an old Southwest airline. Why

it just needs to be put out of commission, you know. What is in her box? I'll tell you what's in the box. Okay, there's a jar of salsa for Steve. There's an emergency backup Caliente sign A life insurance policy for a life insurance policy This is a dustbuster couch attachment, which I hit just just to keep things spicy Or Caliente get it And the lady behind the counter is like so okay, okay, you got to sign some papers. It's Tamer's mom. She's like, hi, okay, welcome, Vic. Now, if you're about to die, do you want them to resuscitate you? And Vic is like, yes, of course you resuscitate me. Of course

you do. I have a job. I have people to take care of. What about Linda? What's the thing that is you over there? Sweetpeak up dead birds, a crash into care of. What about Linda? What's the dick of the deal over there sweeping up dead birds a crash into the window? What you gonna do? I have a job, okay? Have you ever heard of cold assack insurance? I just got to fulfill that if I'm dead. Yes, you sus to take me. Hey, uh, hey Vicki, it's Lindo on the phone before you sit you just want to say good luck There's also a weird smell coming from your black box. What's that all about? Oh, yeah, I put one of the dead birds in there Just they can remember me. It's my mom So Shannon's over at her own ow search Yes

it's called ow and Kelly joins her and she's you know just in case we forgot Kelly's on Bravo. She's wearing one of those fucking Gucci belts. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And Shannon's like, I'm having high surgery because I'm a single lady. And someday I'm gonna maybe want a date.

Hm. Take a little skin out of my high. Yeah, I can see a little bit better when my husband is running towards the beach. After some other blonde woman who maybe looks like I did years in Kyrgyzco. So, ah, ah, this is kind of a big fun. The only way you can get rid of your emotional baggage is to actually get rid of the bags that it comes in which happens to be under my eyes.

Kelly's like, I'm so proud of you! She's like, a little bit of this and she like gestures, like, at the eyelids, and a little bit of this and gestures at the bags. You can lean to this and then she just makes like a sex thing, seeing her finger into her circle hands. Yes, once I see, I'm going to sew my finger to the inside of the opposite hand. See if that helps anything, can we thank you for your advice on glad for our pandemic to be friends this year? And then the doctor or the office gets her like a medical release and she's like, all right, well I will sign this. Just how I signed my marriage certificate to David, which I thought

was a sacred document. Hopefully this one will be a little bit more binding. Huh. All right. You're not even reading it. Well, that's because this document, if I read it, will give me 40 to 50 negative thoughts before surgery. And that's not what I want. Positive thoughts.

OK, I will sign off $30,000 a month to this medical practice. SB. SB. Shambler. I didn't read the documents when I signed my kid up for that drama camp and they turned her into a door. Huh, huh?

Well, at least your kid didn't sign up for unwavering love for her terrible father. Oh, so Kelly's like, so she's not doing full anesthesia, right? Cause that can kill people. It's like, oh yeah, who cares, don't ask about it. It's already doing full-annotesia right? Because I can kill people. I'm like oh yeah who cares don't ask about it it's already signed away. What's Vicki doing? She's like a full faith lift. No no I think it's maybe just the lower part.

I don't know is she getting a full-in curtain or just a half curtain. And Kelly's like I mean if you're doing a full if you're doing a facelift do a full one I mean that he's just doing the whole insolata. What sort of door, who does half a facelift? That's stupid. I don't like it. It's mean, that's mean. It's not Vicki Wood turn her face into an enchilada.

She thought it would get her a guy, you know? She's like, well, it's, study say that bed's love, bed love it's a lot of us. So I've turned my face into a sweet sa. I'm good on the ladies and see how it works out. I got to take care of him. Take me from the table to talk to me. Well, when I asked, when I told Steve I wanted to

turn into it into it and Chilada he said, okay, so, and I said, oh perfect that's just just what I need kind of add a little fat d-dote will be buried so then I'm just imagining Vicky's face as an enchilada how did we get to that cuz Vicky cuz Kelly said if you're gonna do the facelift just do the haul into Lada Thank you. Are you sweating? Are you sweating? No, that's just my that's just my self-severe day comes with comes with my face Heather Debrose demanding a chair by her face Every night before bed to stay young. I put sour cream on myself

I've never had so much attention from Elfated before. I love that the only time they show Heather Dubrow on this show is when it's like some horrible, horrible scene where she was being an awful human being. Could they've shown her earlier? She's like, I'm insecure. But what can I say? You know, it's just going to be a nip attack. Nobody will be able to tell. And they showed this scene of when times she came back after surgery. He was trying to pretend she didn't have surgery. And other in Tamar were like, did she have surgery? Bad.

She's like, yeah, really, really bad nip and talk. I'm like, it was some horrible evil scene. They're really gossipy about it. Like in a way that you wouldn't expect a plastic surgeon's wife to, except for the fact that it was her indirect way of shading a different plastic surgeon. But like, yeah, they're you? Listen listen Heather, you're not pristine by any means in the plastic surgeon department.

So I don't know. Why am I getting into this? I'm not getting into this. I'm like, who are you to talk? Why am I, why am I investing in a rant about Heather DeBros reaction to Biggie's face four years ago? Biggie's face was legitimately crazy. Okay.

I take it back. I know, but they weren't just so mean because they were doing it right in front of Biggie's face four years ago. Biggie's face was legitimately crazy. Okay, I take it back. I know, but they weren't just so mean because they were doing it right in front of Biggie's face. She's still pretending she can't hear them. Yeah, I mean, sometimes I just go on rant autopilot to like, if I hear you like getting like annoyed about something, I'm like, yeah, and here's, I think of that. And I'm like, you know what,

they don't think about power chords. I mean, why are they so long? They have to be that long? Like, how about you get one that's like one foot long? That's all I need. And it's like, we actually need like a six foot one. So why am I so angry right now? Good question.

Good question. Like, Ramona Singer. So now we're in the dueling facelifts, which is like dueling banjos except Grocer. And Vicki is, so she's getting her like her first, I don't know what it is, is it anesthesia, like pre-annesthesia, whatever. Something that's making her hoo-hopper and just, can I get some nice, can I get some nice under? Peace. Okay. And meanwhile Shannon's getting paper put into her eyes, which was,

not only was it strange, but it also made me feel like it's gonna become a beauty trend in like four years Just see like little Ariana Grande is wearing paper in their eyes Well, hell yeah, I wanted to go get a and I lived when I saw it was that easy Well first it looks easy because she's just yeah getting paper stickers in her eyes She's getting I voted stickers put in her eyes and they feel a lot of Trilips voted yeah, I voted for 30 to 40 positive changes in our government. Hey. I voted for fidelity.

Did I vote on Prop 4? No. Did I vote on Prop 5? No. A little prop humor for everyone. A little prop humor on election day. A little prop 4, Prop 5 A little prop humor in election day. A little prop for prop five. I voted for paper trees.

Damn, I'm sorry, that's a setting, not a prop. Oh, damn it! I voted for David to start answering his phone and stop berating me over text. Thank you. You don't have to actually thank anyone when you like, when you cast your vote. So Vicki is getting marker all over her face. You know, she's getting that like, here's what you need.

Here's what's wrong with you that you need to get done. And the guy basically just scribbles big circles all over her face or whatever. Yeah. And he feels by in her head and he's like, do you have extensions? And she's like, oh yeah, everywhere. Everybody who has Steve likes it, like that, huge.

That's the emergency style. Emergency style is a job back there. Yeah, he just has like, puts all these like dots on her face, which I know is like, I know it's like fairly standard for plastic surgeons to put dots on people's faces, but I also felt like maybe he was gonna place him city on her face. It's like, all right, I got the roads in, we're gonna put in a residential zone on her nose and a commercial zone,

and maybe a park, and I'm leading some space for some light rail. She's like, ow! A bird just flew to my face. She's like the office park in there. Well, the good news is that the commercial zone on my cheek has has increased to a skyscrapers, but the bad news is that the outbirds are flying into my cheek. Uh-oh. What do you, Fred?

Red light cameras. Blink, blink. Godzilla is coming onto my face now. Oh, no. There goes that residential zone. So dumb. Okay, so then they're we're crosscutting between the two surgeries and Shannon's like, ow!

And Mickey's like, my little highway. Yeah, me, they put up, well, my favorite part is that, A, Vicki says about plastic surgery, the best part is that it makes you look the way you looked 20 years ago, which is a lie because we just saw a montage of how she looked like three minutes ago. And then on top of that, then we see Shannon get ready for her surgery and she's like, in a gown, you know, a standard surgery stuff, in a gown and like a hair and net thing. But seeing Shannon in a surgery gown, it's just, I don't know why it's just so glorious to me.

It's just like, I just imagined her head, one moment you're selling salmon with cream cheese in it and next one when you know you're on TV in a big old blouse This moment base here. I love his show So the doctors like the doctors like pick a dream a check a dream How about a rewind button you got one of those how'd be great? That would be great rewind the DVR my life. How about that, Doctor? It's like me. I'm like injecting her with horse medication so she just passes out. I'm just imagining what her dream is,

like going into Shannon's dream world. Well, oh, here I am. Click at me. I already lost 30 pounds. I'm just gonna walk to this Talbot and say, big mistake. Huge. I don't know why I'm doing that.

I just like it. Oh, well, oh, look, there's a ghost of Bert Reynolds. Hello there, sir. I always enjoyed your movies. I'm sorry, you died. Oh, oh look there's uh, there's the ghost of Bertrand. Reynolds, hello there sir, I always enjoyed your movies, I'm sorry you died. Oh, oh there's a- Well Bertrand, I'm so sorry, someone's calling me here on my cell phone. It's my best friend, Penaera Bread. Okay, I'll be right over here.

That was Judy Penaera, she's the heir to the Penaera Bread Fortune and a very good friend of mine. Oh look, there's a buffalo named Puppy. Hello Puppy, the buffalo! Hello, Shannon, good day to you. You know, Puppy, my... My limp has gotten so much better ever since I got Dr. Moons Thumb. Primimally put in my butt. Thank you Dr. Moons!

I love you, Shannon. What's this package? Let me open it up. Oh! Oh, it's my award for winning Wimbledon. Oh, thank you. I'd like to celebrate this award with the speech. Mama Mia, Mama Mia. Mama Mia, Mama Mia. I'm starring in my own film. Oh, please, I'm shanning me.

How nice of them to make me the lead singer and backup singers of Abba. of Abba. She was a cream cheese queen, young and lean, round a fillet alfia. Number one hell, that was mama mia mama mia. Oh mama mia let me go. Ah, I'm Freddie Mercury and Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh my god. I'm duetting with myself. It's Abba and Freddie Mercury. Please, please, follow me. That's Abba and Freddie Mercury. Play it all by me.

That's a box office smash. Turn to the musical. Abba, I'm sure glad I ran into you today. I'm going to only have healthy, healthy relationships from now on. It lived to be 970 years old. Hey, look. Here comes my pet, Astridge.

Hello there, Joanne. Joanne the ostrich my favorite. God my why are my eyes starting to cover my entire face? Help! Now if you'll excuse me I will be addressing the UN. Hello UN I am your shambodor to say, countries need to come together and be peaceful. Thank you. Called the unbatch. Oh no, what is this place? Is this a race?

Am I in a foreign race now? No! Why is it going to go talking to me? Wake me up! I'm walking to my palatine. I'm walking to the bike. I don't have a spinning, no, no, puppy, where are you saving me? I'm sorry, there bike, I don't like that spinning. No, no, puppy, where are you saving me?

I'm sorry there's nothing I can do. Your contract with Abba Records has been terminated. No! Uh, finally I can get past this pond of extremely mushy quinoa. Oh my gosh. My mashed potatoes. They were gonna be perfect for another. Oh no, they're turning into David's face

Sophie, Sophie take oh, Sophie, thank god you're here to take care of me. Who needs a man? Great we're at a dinner party. Oh, what else restored. Okay, who would like some wine? I have one bottle David So when she comes out she's like well in a perfect world I'd love my partner to be there on the other side of the Keenwa Lake with his arm around me, telling me, Oh my, Keenwa doesn't taste like Maestro's. No! I have a driver. And take my kids to school, and that's all I need to keep me happy right now. I made it, I voted, I voted! Here I shine in the door, Kill by Freddie Krueger.

She never comes back. It's just like some mediocre dream life. Yeah, I forget forever. Freddie Krueger is like trying to attack her. It's like, now, sir, um, now before you attack me, I just would like to know have you been hearing these rumors about me and my mental health because honestly... I've never been happier, Freddy! Ah! He's like, ugh, nevermind. Freddy Krueger, how many cats do you have and when was the last time you cried? I'm not getting dragged into this one again.

Uh-oh, powers are turning upside down! Wait, am I in... Which movie am I in right now? I can't tell! Wait, am I in, which movie am I in right now? I can't tell. Oh, so over at Vicki's office, Steve is waiting as Vicki comes out looking at the scene. I like that she got surgery at her office. Linda is like, all right, Vic, I can hear you, okay? I put a post on your cheekbones, that okay?

I have to remind myself about something later. I sort of got lost on the skin because like oh oh my god my tube is blinking she's like yeah that's that's the call you got on hold I just had it installed in your head she can stop ignoring me I uh hey Vic I did you the favor of putting in one of those uh 100 MATTRES uh headsets but I've made it so that way it's stuck in your skin now now. It's with you forever So helpful now so healthy. I'll love it. Where's my face going down? I'm lowering your sleep number VIX Listen, the face is just folding up to lift your legs She has like a little pump like a re-buck pump. I just like presses like all right. There's a coming in here we go Yeah, I told Steve it was my last time so I got the adjustable face

It's got a medic so yeah, Steve is like well, Vic This is the quietest you've been in months. I get a little Bro humor there for you. I'm gonna tell my brother Roger Lodge to use it on the blind date revival, huh? But do you love me about pretty? Do you want to have sex with me? Do you want to kiss me? My pretty, you're gonna break up with me. Please don't break up with me when I'm ugly. Please. I have no panties on. Is that sex with you right now? No panties. No panties. Although I do have sea beach in my face. So over with over at Shannon's house, she's home with Sophie and Sophie's like, take your her nurse now, you know, she's taking care of her.

And trying just to put the get the ice packs or whatever on Shannon's eyes. And I just, you know, after all we've seen these kids go through on this show, which is a lot. Like, Shannon's kids have gone through a lot on this show. This has to be the worst, I have to say. Well, I mean, first of all, Shanna has transformed into the Babadook. Okay, she's got these big black things under her eyes, you know, so that's already terrifying for Sophie.

Yeah, she looks, I mean, she's just terrifying, you know, and she's like, well, my eyes can start bleeding any moment. Ha, ha, ha, my kids not at them all. She's with me and I'm lucky. I'm like, well, she's not. I know. She's like, that's okay. I I didn't want to see crazy rotations anyway. Yeah. The goal is to make every woman in this house feel lucky right now. Okay. I know. So fees downstairs, like hiding in this stairwell,

like, camera, probably calling camerara like, save me, please. Ladies of rock is going to have a benefit concert for Shannon's eyes. So, um, now over at Tamra's house, it's the, it's time for spends. Remekka! Fouca! I-I-I-Fix-a! I Spix uh So now it's the now it's time for Spencer's birthday and there's like Tamara has made an unreasonably flat cake For some reason it's basically like a giant giant Hubcap

Unless she's cake. Oh no, Tamara does have that she has her sick She's cake Yeah, I mean that makes cheese cake have that, that she has her stick. She's getting cheese cake. Yeah. I mean, that makes cheese cake. Yeah. She loves anything. Tamara's like trailer track, no offense trailer trash people. Okay. I come from trailer trash as well. So get off my ass. But Tamara is like from the trailer version of like, let's just anything with melted cream cheese batch. You know, you know, like have melted like dip with

cream cheese like with jalapeno, you know, I love anything with cream cheese, by the way. It's good. I'll still make it. I still know how to make all those old things. Well, you know, her, her, her cheesecake reminds me of back in like 1997. I had to go on this like four day camping trip as part of going to college. There was like an orientation trip. It's like, guess what? You get to go camping for four days. And it's like, no! And that first night around the campfire, we had to make dinner on a campfire. And one of the things that we made was a cheesecake, because it turns out you could just add some stuff

to some stuff and you can make a cheesecake without any real ingredients. And it tasted like cheesecake. And I was like, oh, that's what tamarind's cheesecake is whatever. Yeah It's our make it last year. It was just it was just cream cheese and stuff Which I've been there. Oh, yeah, I love making cream cheese cheesecake for sure also a free-to pie What show is that on okay? Let's get to the point the point is tamarind's mom is here and she's there with her new boyfriend And she's like oh tamarind Frank's over there, you know, and your dad was Frank and then I dated a Frank in terms of that's the third

Frank mom back Actually, there was poor camera. I was one I tell you about Jesus I'm up to slet happy birthday Yeah, so Tamara goes upstairs to find Spencer because he's upstairs in the in the bedroom with his girlfriend And who knows what they could be doing they could be having sex or they could be Sitting in chairs like looking at things on the internet. So literally spending yeah, literally

He is he is like this not what you'd expect Tamara to produce which is like an emo teenager. And essentially, yeah, so now he is, he's 18, so it can be on the show and he comes downstairs and he is, we learn he's straight edge, he doesn't drink, he doesn't do anything. He wants to be a psychologist, he's gonna go to community college for a few years and then try to transfer to UCLA, something like that. And he is basically on a good path. More or the families like totally disgusted with it. Yeah, they can

like I'm taking a drink on. He's like, no, come on. You're not going to have any alcohol. I'm gonna have a shot with this. I have a family shot. Come on. It's the first thing your mom ever revived in her, right? Or earth journey. You're not kid. It's like mom is straight. I don't even know what that means. Like what does everybody have to be a homosexual in this house? No, I mean, it doesn't have alcohol at all. Hey, Spence, you want to tattoo? You want to tattoo? You want to tattoo? Spence? Yeah, I

know a guy over there who lives behind the trash can. He can do a cheap tattoo for you. It's real good. You want something like maybe a lion on fire that's running away from a queer? You want that, huh? Spence is like, no, thank you. I'm the mom. I'm like, yeah, you know what I should have You want something like maybe a lion on fire that's running away from a queer you want that huh? Spencer's like no, thank you. I'm the mom's like yeah, you know what I should have done got any tattoo of Frank that would have come in handy Ha let me be frank for once huh get it so So then so then Tamer's like hanging out with her brother and she's she like, wow, like he's such a good kid. Like he's a really good, he doesn't drink whatever.

Like it's really amazing. The brother's like, he doesn't drink that we know of. I mean, come on. He's still us. And we're trash. Basically what he's saying. They so a clip of them making moonshine, them having a moonshine party. I'm sure that they made in their bathtub.

He's so funny. He's like, he doesn't, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he He didn't even try to erase me. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with this little goody-tea she's bats. I-I kinda slitting all his condoms and he still won't have a teen pregnancy. I don't get it. Hold him down, we'll inject him with some heroin. See how long that last, BASCH! Hey sis, remember when I took a porcupine to prom? Ha, that was great. After talking about how smart she is, she goes, Spence, sub-pout of you. You're one of my best work,

which makes no sense. And it's just like, I'm just like, wow. And she goes, wow. He's like, you put an S at the end of everything else. And then she goes, don't tell Ryan. And Ryan's sitting there right there just like, laughing like, uh-huh, she's like, necessarily, don't, please don't tell Ryan. Don't say work in front of Ryan and make some break out the ratch

We're still trying to preserve that upper inner lip of his So back over at Shane and Emily's house they look at the baby box Well, but before they do that they like Emily's with the kids They're on the kids are playing on the stairs and Shane comes through. He's like high and Emily's like oh look to the kids. The kids are playing on the stairs and Shane comes through. He's like, hi, and Emily is like, oh, look, see the kids? They made an obstacle course and like the monster truck goes over the play-doh and he goes, um, monster trucks are supposed to go over cars. Here you go, Star-Gav-ee! He's like well now that I got that that comedy set out of the way I think it's time to open the box. You'll be fine

There's some papers in there like nothing special so yeah, so Emily opens it up And there's some like really sweet little hand-in-foot prints and then a letter from her late grandmother and all that and I mean really so it was actually very touching and very sad and I was happy for Emily that she got to she finally went in there and everything But she must have been like an emotional roller coaster and she's just crying She's crying there and sobbing and she's just sitting on the edge of it like sitting right there like We're gonna be having fish chicks for dinner or what? Yeah, I wanted to hug Emily, but I couldn't so I just pressed the fast forward button until it was over yeah, and he goes what Sorry, well interrupted you cuz you said

I was I said no, I said hugs. Oh, I they said, but. No, I said, fast forward hugs. And very, I'm hugging Emily right now. Yeah, fast forward hugs. The last thing I'll say about it is that Emily, so she looks in the box and then she's crying and like close, whatever, she's like done with the experience and he goes, I think she said something like,

I'm sorry, I got emotional. She may have not even said something, but she was crying and all that and he goes it's all good. Yeah a little surprise in there It's like could you at least like hug your wife right now? Could you like show some emotion? Could you like I know you don't like looking like the heartless person on TV But there are some ways around that like maybe showing some heart Yeah, and he actually does look like the Grinch Like he literally because they keep showing that Grinch commercial every time Vicki comes on screen.

They're like, look, it's the Grinch. The Grinch walks right on the screen and it does have like, Shane's face and you know Shane's not green obviously, but he does have that little like, ma-o. But yeah, yeah, it's, it's a, it's unfortunate. So, yeah. Now we go to Shannon's house and she is, she is lying there and Kelli and Gina come over and she's like, does your face hurt?

Because it's killing me! Get it! What was it? It's a dwarf! It's a dwarf! I brought a pinini just because it's a sandwich. She's probably been through as much hell as you! They were stuck her head in a and you need press it words Earths Ow

I heard my show Actually I have done that, it's funny You should see I thought I could rescue some Car cheese turns out to when I went to Not half of my teeth the top fell in and I was like Ow! Ow! Ow!

And Jean is like I brought you up. One of those pillows that you can put your arms on in bed and set up because I googled it. And it says, old people need to set up in bed and they'll choke on their own tongues. So here you go. Oh, isn't that nice? Who'd let this person into my house?

I can speak to her three days ago and now here she is in my house and I can't run. Nice who let this person into my home Speak to her three days ago and now here she is in my house, and I can't run now remind me what they call these pillows These pillows that have the alarms what are they called? They're called the husband. Oh, that's nice You you got me a husband. That was that was very nice of you Nice thank you forgive me a pillow version of David look there It's jumped out the window and run down to the beach thanks a lot see that thank you. Well good Just goes to show that that pillow was just a supportive of David was Enjoy your walk in the beach there pillow who there goes So so then they're like the camera come by and she's like yes

I had a moment with Tamara and we have a flashback of Tamara with Tamara visiting Shannon and Shannon's like, well Tamara, I Poptop left us the last night. I leaned forward and then I felt a pop and it was a bunch of blood. I was just like I'm so happy right now. This is a great decision. I know regrets. No, no and her and no regrets, no, no, none. And Kelly's like, what you guys talking about? And Gina's like, well, obviously I spoke with her, okay? We both, we both spoke with her. And it caught ugly in look on that trip.

Look, I'm glad you guys are friends now, but now that we've had a breakthrough and I brought you, you know, a husband, I feel obligated to let you know what I'm hearing. The day you went around, there was a lot of talk about your mental health. And if you were okay and Shannon, I love that Shannon can do this with her eyes, even when they're both bruised and completely swollen. She's like, ha, that's the sound her eyes make.

I see what you're doing here. First, you bring me out your bottom, youat with a husband, but then you don't even include the butter and now I have to sit here and listen to these particular things. I love that everyone can talk about what I need without walking a mile on my ankle-resty rolly thing. It's interesting how so many people are going to pipe in when no one lives in my shoes every day and when I say pipe in I mean literally pipe frosting around me like the great British Bake Off Star Baker it's you it's me Pan-killers who she's like well she didn't wait long. I'm nice to work for five minutes and she tries to throw everyone else out of her back So Kelly's like yeah Shannon has a right to know, but

Dameron and Shannon have this like obsessive single white female energy. And so for Gina to get involved, you're not going to win, girl. But it's funny because Kelly sort of gets in there too, because Kelly's like, yeah, Tamer keeps talking. You know, she says she Kelly, Kelly confirms what Gina says. Kelly is the one who says, yeah, Tara, I keep talking and talking and talking. But at this point, Shannon only hears Gina talking shit about Tamara and suspects that Gina's trying to turn her against Tamara. And that's all Shannon hears and she doesn't want, which is pretty much what's going on,

right? What did you think? I couldn't tell because I feel like, yes, that is exactly what was going on. But I also feel like Gina is actually dumb enough to think that if you hear someone talking about someone else, you have to bring it back to them. Otherwise, you're being a bad friend. There are some people who just make a rule like that and then just don't question it and say, this is how I have to live my life.

You know, instead of saying, do I need to bring that back? Like, they got through a rough patch. Let's let them move forward, you know? Yeah, I'm not sure, but that seemed like some pretty strong shit stirring to me. So, Gina's like, well, what I say, nothing, go on. Gina's like, you can call me if you need to. Now that I've completely depressed you, she's like,

ah, ah, okay, goodbye. Yeah. Get out! Huh, so. And then she goes, well, well, perfect timing. I mean, aren't you serious? I make a man's with him, right? And you're going to come here.

My day one of recovery, and you're going to make me feel like shit. And when we tell you what someone who's had eyes or drew publishing, do. Cry! David that goes for you too. So you can stop arranging me on text I understand where you think I should shove my salmon filled with cream cheese it has been received and I would like not like to cry over it anymore with my eyes.

I'm happy. Well spill the milk because I'm not gonna cry over it. Not gonna cry. Oh no. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna cry. Oh no. I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm crying. Wait, is it blood? It may just be a blood? I can't tell if it's a blood vessel. Or is it tears or both?

So Vicki and Steve go over to Monarch B. Which I think is pretty baldly, you know. Right now you're just a moth beaten up against the light bulb. Okay, but you know, I'm for your positive thinking because the doctor insisted they don't go home because it's too stressful. What with that dustbuster and You know everything else. Yeah, so they're in this like nice resort and Steve's like you look like a ghost Vic Drive like pretty. Drive sex with me. What is your penis doing right now? What is your penis a? Okay, what is it say? Is it still affected me or my ugly?

Yeah, please tell me me please This government to look done look and Vicky once again maintains their stellar track record of being Wheeled through hotels with fabric over her face That's our girl. Yeah, she just puts a Versace, it's a Louis Vuitton. What is the scarf she puts on her hair? It was some fancy scarf. I mean, I've been to this resort.

I went there for a wedding for Eva, Ha Eva, Eva listens. Hey Eva, hey girl. But I went there for Eva's wedding. It's a fancy ass place. Like this is a fancy place. And the fact that Vicki has chosen this place, like, I get it, I get the wanting to have,

like, as long as she has to be in a hotel, why not treat herself? By getting wheeled through that lobby with a scarf over her head, like, she's a hostage. I'm getting a camera crew following her. I mean, she's hilarious. There's only one. It's called Get an Airbnb, or get, like, go like go to like one of those hotels that has bungalows, but like do not like I was just praying that they would like roll over a

tack and her wheelchair would just like round hall like, oh no, we got a flat. We got a flat. We can't go forward. Oh no, I'm stuck here. Just a cloud appears around like in the Simpsons. Anytime there's a scene, anytime like someone creates like a scene on the simsons all of us all these little people are right appear in the background. Yeah, oh, Vic. So Steve's like just go to bed. I'm going to be watching some TV up in the front room. You know, everything's nice and clean. Thank God I had a dustbuster that couches everything. And he tells her, yeah, you know, you forgot to tell the doctor about those surgeries. That's why it took him extra hour a bit.

Okay. I told him, say, good God, thanks a lot. Don't tell me you took the tube, we're up because that was a good anchor. The God just got a bit, get a rest, bit, get a rest. That's where I keep my keys. Yeah, so she's, and by the way, I mean, when she finally gets up that hotel room and she's got the towel wrapped around her head, the lint curtain style, but she also has that little blue puffy, like hair and neck thing on top of it,

which I'm not sure if it was serving a purpose at that point, maybe someone from the medical community could chime in, but it was just like this hilariously puffy accessory on top of the towel, and I was just cracking up. She's like, I almost died. Do you want to make out? She's like, nah. And then he just leaves, and then she stuck there in bed.

She's like, Steve, I need a bell. Dig dig. Steve. Dig dig. Steve. Dig dig. Steve. Dig dig. Hey, is that you Steve? No, that was that was another bird. It just hit the hotel. Linda, what are you doing here? I was here to take some of your edible arrangement. Pretend the night here, bye. Bye. Oh, so, Tamara is at the deck. The deck, the deck, batch. Yeah, by the way, it was, the deck, I guess, is associated with a place called Laguna Beach Driftwood Kitchen. And I actually believe it's a place where they serve Driftwood.

Like, yeah, for your male is Driftwood. Well, this gas, I don't need anything anyway. Exactly. I'm at need anything anyway. Exactly. I'm at the deck at Laguna. What's the something I'm not getting for? Eh! So they, she shows up and she's telling us, I heard from Shannon that she heard all these terrible things

about me. And it was right. I should have just shut up and sat trying to be such a good person. Yes, thank you for casting yourself as the martyr in this group, Tamra. Of course, she talks shit to everyone. everyone and of course it gets back to Shannon and now Tamra is the victim here because she couldn't help but bear her soul and share her feelings with friends who she thought we can be loyal to her. Yeah, it's hard.

So Emily and Tamra, Emily comes in. She's like, well, it's been so long. She's like, yeah, wait. Oh God. It's been a week longer. Maybe longer Yeah, maybe a week like okay, these two are really friends. I appreciated that Emily was wearing the Controversial dress of the internet. Is it blue? I was like God Emily is yep your dress is breaking my brain I can't my brain broken here at the deck We've only got blood brother your pests of the stamina spets us. I don't know why that cracked me. Just say me. I just shot lung bullets at you. Did you like that?

I did. I was doing bullet time. I was doing matrix bullet time and avoiding it. I was like, who's great. I was doing bullet time. I was doing Matrix bullet time and avoiding it. I was like, whoa. It was great. I'm just like, my laptop is just like reading code right now. So Kelly and Gina show up and Kelly is like, I just love sometimes Kelly's pattern. She's like, whoa, I was so hot. I was wearing a sweater but now it's hot.

It's hot. It's a hot, it's hot. Where's my sweater? So what's it for? It's for Dwarx. Why does weather so mean? It's a mean weather front. It's mean. Yeah weather I bet you're gonna do. I mean, I was wearing a croquet outfit. You're a bitch. You're a little croquet for bitches Bits croquet. You're a bitch, Mally. I'm gonna learn to croquet She's just like hitting yarn with a mallet I'm gonna learn to croquet. She's just like hitting yarn with a mallet. Kelly Dodd with a croquet of mallet is terrifying.

She's probably be like, look at this. Just knocks over a vase. That was funny. So Tamara does not give Gina hugs. Gina's like, hogs, hog, no hog. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. You know, that's all right. You know, I just came here for my casita. I'm not expecting that.

I do want my back trying to put my clock on the wall. The size of a of my of a Volkswagen Jetta. I also put on my wall. It was over my bed, but I should know to be more careful when I'm in the kitchen. So Emily. So they make some small talk or whatever. And yeah, Gina's like when Tamer doesn't hug me this fellow. These everything I thought about she and she totally called her after and

Told her I told her everything. I said well, what do you think you just told her that Tamer is like a terrible friend and talking behind her back I mean, which was true. You were just reporting but still and then Emma is like I'm the only person who goes to make I and actually gets wider and just everyone ignores her. They're like, okay, anyway. So Kelly is like, oh, by the way, Shannon just called me and she called Tamra. And she called other people. She's calling everyone. She loves phones. What a dork. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh about it in a bit that's okay I need to wait until Feet is delivered so I have something to throw at you. Yeah, no, let's do it now. Let's walk about it now. Let's just do it right now. She goes, well I'd love to hear your side but but this is my shex. And you know, Tamara means it because

she swigs back her giant fish bowl of white wine and breeze on it while she's drinking. You know, you see all the breath like the wind less. Then it's such a great observation. We also have to give a shout out to their waiter who is basically Larry from Thruce Company Like he really like really did a great job there So yeah, so Tim is like I want yeah, you know like I want to hear your side before there's my shit and And you know like well, I just said that you know like you know people have been talking about your mental health and terms like okay you know like you know people have been talking about your mental health and terms like okay clean-think line-order okay then at any point did you say to her I need to let you know what good friends your good friends are saying to you

and that time as a bad-she friend to you is that you ever say that you ever say that time I wasn't hot as she thinks she is did you say that did you say that no all I said was I you know enjoy this wonderful pillow I gave you and people and maybe saying to you have some issues Yeah, oh yeah, did you say at any point that your best friend is like an angry possum on the trash can like just matters I've been dead bitch. No All I said, oh did you say that Thomas a murderer? No, yeah, you just said Thomas a sladdy serious kind of batch bash

No, it's like cameras making it worse and worse. I know. They are both, well they're both being ridiculous because Gina's acting like she is saying this stuff out of concern when actually I'm not sure that Gina was being crazy malicious when she told Shannon but she was saying you should know that people are talking behind your back. That was what she told us is the reason why she told Shannon and now she's saying it like, oh, I was just, your friends are concerned for you and I want you to know your friends are concerned for you.

Like, no, Gina, that's not why you said that to Shannon. You weren't trying to relay the group's concern. You were trying to tell the people talking behind her back, but the funny part is that Tamara is most upset because she has now interpreted as Tamara's a shitty friend, which is a fair interpretation, but she's fixating on it.

Like, did you say that Tamara's not hot, that Tamara hasn't had hot sex with Eddie in five years because that's not true? Yeah, and then Gina's like, you know, this Shannon, she's like playing Jedi mind tricks. Shannon is Yoda, which is just a terrifying thought. I mean, I don't think that movie would have made like, I don't think it would have 19 incarnations if, if

Shannon was Yoda, she'd just be like, give up son, some upgives. 30 to 40. Maybe 40. May the negative two thoughts. May this I mean stuff with cream cheese be with you. I work QV I see. What? Shannon Badoor lies here. No,

that's actually I job. David Adora lies here Catcher dream dream mom So the cameras like well, I didn't expect this because she's New York, she knows It's supposed to be heriled loyalty, Papa John's pizza pizza, that happened, can't you know? You know, you're supposed to throw people under the bus, a bus, a pizza pizza. Timmer, I love when Timmer talks about loyalty. You know, when she expects loyalty from everyone and now she's mad about loyalty. When Timmer was the one who was actively going around talking about Shannon being sad. And sure, if Shannon was just,

if Tamara was feeling frustration and venting, I get that, but she told Shannon that everything was squashed after that garden thing and she wasn't talking about everything. And then she clearly was. So Emily's like, wait a second, I'm a lawyer. Okay, I need more information to clear this up. And I was like, thank God, like Emily will clear this up because she does have a legal background and hopefully she can parse up the facts, but then she doesn't do anything else.

Yeah, she's like, so wait, I think I'm missing stuff. So you're saying that Shannon called you after this? And she's like, yeah, so she called me back with some sob story about losing a children is something because, you know, she's like mentally unfit. And so I say here's what they were saying, they're saying you're mentally unfair, they're gonna take your children, the post-mphasis gonna eat it, put it in a trash can, walk her in there for the rest of her life, and they're never gonna see him again.

Yeah, at which point we're then treated to an extended montage of mostly Tamara talking shit about Shannon and questioning her mental state and saying that she's been sad. Ever since she knew her and She's crazy and and then we there's some thinking there too, but it's basically like tamar you said all this Yeah, cuz Gina like narrates and she's like I gave her examples about you know How she calls everyone all night every night sobbing and throwing tantrums and they showed Tamara like, shit, hold on, I have to hide in the stand-up. Because Edda hates her so much, she just turned to her Instagrams and then they said just sleep all day,

oh my God, she sleeps all day. And then Bikki's like, yeah, I mean, she says that she sleeps all day and I'm like, who takes the kids to school? She's like, I don't know. And I'm like, whoa. Like everything she's saying is totally true. Exactly.

And then Tamara, of course, when it comes out of this montage, Tamra can only do one thing, which is go back to her main argument. You have best friend as a shit best friend. Did you tell her that? Did you tell her that? The persecution resist. Yeah. And so, yeah. That's pretty much, I'm trying to read through all these lines, but it's pretty much everything we've already said. And then Emily tries to get in there. And she's like,

well, the thing that resonated with me is I'm going through stuff because my mom was in a major, psychotic illness and the patterns I see were the patterns I saw with my mom. And you know, my mom just wanted to get help and we should have made her get help. And Tamer's like, well, did anybody tell your mom that she's a shitty friend? I haven't. And then of course Tamer starts to cry. She's like, I'm just trying to be the best undermining friend I can be.

And no, I appreciate that. Not, not. Yeah. And then Gina pulls a page out of Tamer's new book and she's like, I just try to be a good person But it beats you down being truthful and honest like okay now they're gonna have a victim off Exactly and then they start digging into their driftwood and enjoy the rest of their lunch Yeah, and that brings us to the end of the real housewives of Orange County Yes, good times good times if you haven't voted yet

Today, you better do it because watching day And if you haven't bought your tickets to Seattle, you better do that too because there's only three days left for that Okay, and if you haven't bought your t-shirts your holiday t-shirts, you better do that because the holidays are gonna come and gone Come and go quicker than you can say come and go and Because the holidays are gonna come and go quicker than you can say come and go and If you haven't hug someone today, you better do that too because you can't don't know when you can hug someone again So anyway guys go watch your crap and calm for all those things except for the hug and we'll be back tomorrow to talk below deck We sure love you guys. We certainly do. Thanks everyone. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye We certainly do. Thanks everyone. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye. at 1dry.com slash survey.