Watch What Crappens - #92: Jersey Horseplay; Also, Frenchies Fighting and Insufferable LA Foodies

Episode Date: September 5, 2013

This week on "Watch What Crappens," Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) and Matt Whitfield (Yahoo!) break down all the drama and horse therapy on Bravo. First, the guys take on the bickering in Miami. Then it's off to New Jersey for some equine emotions and tribal drumming before we wrap things up with the catty women of "Eat Drink Lie." Along the way there's gossip about "Tamra's OC Wedding" and Lisa VanderPump. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Go for a free trial and for 20% off. And who does not like 20% off? Go to squarespace.com and use the offer code CRAP9. That's C-R-A-P-9. I mean, how awesome is that promo code? It's got a curse in it, CRAP9, and you get 20% off squarespace.com. Check it out. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crap In's, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mandelger from bsideblog.com. You can find me at bsideblog on Twitter, Vine, and Instagram. And joining me, as always, is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo.com. What's up, Matt? Hey, Ben. How is vacation treating you?

Oh, vacation. Time to get away. Actually, it's been a little rough. I've only been gone for four days, and I've already incurred several bruises, cuts, a dead iPhone, and a dead camera. Things have gotten rough out here on the East Coast. So you're making memories that will last a lifetime? Making memories that will last a lifetime, except on my camera. Any summer romances that we need to know about? No summer romances, but I have to say, I've been having a very waspy time. I went to Nantucket over the long weekend for my first time ever. And my goodness, there's a lot of preppy wealth over there. I mean, you watch enough of these Real Housewives shows that you forget what true wealth is.

And then you go to someplace like Nantucket, and you realize all these people, whether it's Countess luann even countess luann they're just nothing compared to true wasps you know oh well i mean it's you know it's not where i mean i am from the east coast i'm not um a rich wasp by any means but i do miss the waspy lifestyle and there is something so fucking artificial about los angeles and the money here is new money and new money is just trashy. Yeah. It's so trashy, but you go to someplace like Nantucket where they are closed off in terms of their emotions or their willingness to allow reality cameras in my,

my family doesn't come from money, but we do love some closed off emotions and cocktails at five 30 every night on the fucking dot. Oh, that's fantastic. And by the way, I'm loving your tennis rackets on your wall. Is that an honor of the U S open?

Um, they are there always, but, uh, they look especially prominent today. Maybe it's the lighting scheme or the fact that I'm wearing like a neon tennis ensemble. Perhaps that's it.

Um, so anyway, people, uh, can find Matt at life on the M list on, uh, Twitter and Instagram. And, um, also you can follow our podcast on Facebook at facebook.com forward slash watch where crap happens.

We have a lot of interaction and user interaction. And there's a whole community there. So if you ever want to talk Bravo and we're in between podcasts, you go there and there are literally 1,700 people wanting to talk. No, not 1,700. Almost 1,900. No, no, almost 2,000. It's getting bigger with every passing second. No, but for real, we're actually approaching 2,000.

The point is this. If you're sad and alone, you can also feel free to email us directly on our Facebook page because, you know, sometimes we're sad and alone too and we'll respond. We are sad and alone, you can also feel free to email us directly on our Facebook page because, you know, sometimes we're sad and alone too and we'll respond. We are sad and alone. And you should also, and I know this is a lot of, we're giving a lot of, we're really doing a lot of self-promotion here at the top of the show, but for real, subscribe to our YouTube channel, youtube.com forward slash the TV click, because if you're subscribing, you could actually be watching this podcast,

perhaps even live while it happens. And if you're watching, not only do you get to see our faces, you get a glimpse into my childhood bedroom as we speak. Because I am broadcasting from New York in the middle. Right. I mean, if you've been talking about these tennis rackets hanging on my wall, how would they see them without

watching the YouTube page? Look, I'm like a spokesmodel on Price is Right. If you were watching this on YouTube, you could see the air conditioner that I grew up with over here. And you could see... Is that a window unit, Ben? Yes. Listen. How dare they? Listen, my house was pre-Central Air. What can I say? It's the Northeast.

Houses are actually old here. What is that framed picture in the background? It's just like a random picture of a little town. I don't know where it came from. Was it Nantucket? And is Kelly Killer and Ben Simone somewhere in there? Could you imagine if it were Nantucket? This would be a moment of great fate that i finally got to live inside

the painting on my wall that's gonna be the name of your debut album living inside the painting on my bedroom wall i know and you can see this big black mass here is where um well it's covered with lots of stuff my parents have moved into my room but it's where my old cd collection is i can see a cassette single of nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit in there. Well, two things to comment on. We know you like Big Black Masses, and number two, please bring back your entire single collection so I can ravage

it. I would, if I could, there's also a cassette single of GoldenEye over there. If I could. I'm embarrassed for that Big Black Mass to be near such horrible singles. I know. GoldenEye by Tina big black mass to be near such horrible Kasingles. No. Golden Eye by Tina Turner is a fantastic song.

It is one of the worst Bond themes of all time, but we'll save that for another podcast. And let's just – do you want to just dive right in? We don't have Ronnie here, and I really am not in the gossipy mood. I'd rather talk about our TV shows. Yeah. I miss Ronnie dearly because he's so funny, but I'm actually glad he's not here at this moment because when he's on, I get caught up in doing the impersonations, in which case I start to yell and my parents are just down the hall sleeping. And that would be, this is a bad time for me to be doing Thomas Kramer at 12 in the morning. So

let's just get right into it. Nobody wants me doing impersonations, so you might have to toss a few out there for our loyal listeners that love them. How about I do a quiet Thomas Kramer? Sit down, shut up, I'll leave. Could you hear that? Could you hear that, America? Oh, America heard you. America heard you. Your mom didn't, but America did. I know. Let's have a special podcast called Quiet Impersonations with Ben and Matt. Okay, so let's dive right in. Before we went live on this podcast, we kind of discussed who watched what this week, and let's just say that we didn't sync up on our notes properly. I watched

Tamara's OC wedding. I know you didn't. I'm sure Ronnie probably did because he's a glutton for punishment, but he's not with us, so would you like a brief recap? You made it sound like he died. He's not with us. Yeah, please tell me, how was the episode? Here are my questions. How was the episode? How does it stack up to the other wedding shows? Can Tamara hold

her own show? Was it entertaining in the least? And how long is the episode? Okay, I'm not smart enough to remember six questions in a row. So I'll try to remember a few of those. It's an hour long, an hour of my life I cannot get back. You know this, Ben, and I think people that have been listening to our podcast, Watch What Crappens, for quite some time know that Tamara is probably my least favorite housewife in all of the franchises and in Bravo history. So needless to say, I was kind of fighting this with

all of my being. That said, I'm 100% in really because I hate her. Okay, is it good hate watching or is it just hateable? It's hateable. And the funny thing is, it's not funny, actually. It's sad because this is just admitting to the world that I waste my time. But it's boring, but I hate her. So I'm watching to see the stress that she goes through, even though we know the end result, that they are married now. It's so fake and so phony, all of it that um i'm lured right in plus it co-stars surprise surprise my second least favorite housewife of all time heather dubrow co-starring

oh did she have a big role in it and was she offered that role by the producers or did she have to try out for it um i think about her availability they had to ask but um when gretchen passed i think that they then went to to Heather to see if she could fill the large gap left by Gretchen. You're incorrect. Gretchen was never offered the role. They were just checking to see if she was available to be on the spin-off. Ben, the producers just contacted Gretchen's people. They didn't ask her if she was available to just be on the show.

They just said, are you free Friday? Was there, do you think there was a line in the contract that said there could be no onion rings at the craft service table? Probably no onion rings and an extra side of Sarah Rue. You know, and no, I won't make a mean joke about Sarah Rue because she does not deserve to be dragged down into this mess just because Heather Dubrow sullied her good show. Well, I think that Sarah Rue gave up her onion rings and room lard sauce. Oh, okay. See, I know you're a foodie. I'm trying to get you with that. By the way, let's get to the point.

Congratulations on your huge win, LA Weekly TV champion. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you very much. TV blog champion. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you very much. And I really sincerely want to thank everyone who voted and helped get my blog that

award for what Matt's referring to is that my blog won Best TV Blog by LA Weekly last week. So I'm super excited about that. It's the first time I've ever won anything professionally. And I'm going to use it as soon as possible to get some cool dates. I'm going to just carry the plaque around. I love that you won the award and then you were like, Oh, by the way, I'm going on vacation.

I'm probably not going to be updating as much. I know that that was the best part that I won the award in the middle of like a two week stretch when I haven't posted any TV stuff on my blog. So sorry, but I'm going to post a Big Brother photocop tonight, but that's off topic. Okay, back to Tamara. Were there onion rings at the wedding? I'm convinced that Heather muscled her way onto the show for more screen time, and it's not just her.

It's her and her boring husband. They're all in the entire episode. Oh, God. And what do they do? What does Heather have to do during this episode, during this show? Heather is... Great people, great behaviors?

Actually, she does make some snide comments throughout. So out of the housewives from Orange County that are involved, Heather is actually in Tamara's wedding party, as is Vicky, and both make appearances in this premiere episode. Heather is in the entire thing because she ends up going to Vegas with Tamara and Eddie for bachelorette parties and all these pre-planning party kind of things.

Vicky's just there to eat cake. And pee on beds. It was only the size of a quarter, don't worry. And trust me, I know that Vicky would rather be at Andalés in Mexico than at the Palazzo in Vegas. She wants to be in Puerto Vallarta, scoping out the yard sales and the flea markets for another Caliente sign that she can give as a wedding gift. She's already blown everybody in Lake Havasu, so she had to move on to Puerto Vallarta. Were there any errant footballs that got thrown in Vicky's face during this first episode?

Unfortunately, no. Again, Vicky was just there to eat cake. But the entire episode is about Tamra going, oh my god, I used to be like this normal chick who wasn't into expensive stuff, but now this wedding is becoming fancy. Okay, that's bullshit. She was always into expensive

stuff why else do you think she lives in orange county she doesn't have expensive ben she's not from orange county she is straight up white trash i know but she wound up in orange county which means that she does like expensive things like don't act tammy sue like you like you always were like humble and simple you were the one who was crying about being like kicked out of your, your Simon Barney owned home, you know, and I had to downsize. Okay. Like you do care about expensive things, Tammy, and that's okay. You're allowed to, cause you're trash and that's what trash wants. They want money. Okay. That's what I, that's what we all want actually. And I'm, by the way, I'm very trashy, even though I just was talking about

going to Nantucket and everything. I did not in people i did not fit in the point is this um so tammy sue is tasting a cake with vicky and she's like i used to be one of those girls that was fine with a 200 cake but now i'm into 2500 cakes and first of all i was like you know this is la we've been to enough fancy parties ben where we know that cakes are expensive. But for the middle America watching this program going $200 for a cake, what the hell was that bitch thinking? You know, like a sheet cake from Costco costs like $39 if that's a big one. Yeah. And by the way, don't tell me that Tammy Sue knows the difference between the $2,500 cake and the box from Entenmann's, okay? Are you suggesting that that palette is not that refined?

I'm suggesting that recently I actually watched Sandra Lee, and she made a wedding cake, and she made it by taking box, like sheet cakes, food cake that was and and stacking it and putting frosting on it and i think that tammy sue would not know the difference between sandra lee's 20 minute homemade wedding cake versus something that came from you know the bosom the bosom of i was gonna say the bosom of cat odell. Yeah, oh my goodness. We will talk about E-Drink love later on. That's for sure. I still hate Cat Odell with all of my being. Anyway, back to Tamra's OC wedding.

She's complaining the entire time about, oh, don't show Eddie the receipts. The shoes that she wants to wear for the wedding are $6,000. Her creepy son, Ryan, makes an appearance to go to eddie's bachelor party they talk a lot about tamra's previous weddings and marriages and then heather upsets eddie at the dinner table by talking about the mexican strippers that were grinding on gretchen and tamra during this past season of real housewives of orange county just upset that he wasn't able to get one of those strippers for himself that and we know that eddie has like a blow-up doll in the shape of a bicycle seat, a road bike.

We know that he likes to grind up against that when Tamara goes away to sell wines by wives with Vicky. He knows what to cozy up to. Yeah, he knows what he likes on his ass, and it's not Tamara's face. It is not Tamara's face. But speaking of things Tamara does like on her face, one of the rumors is they are talking about the strippers and Heather is telling Eddie probably more than he needs to hear. But Tamara sees that she gets caught kind of fibbing to Eddie about how much really went down with the strippers. And she walks away from the dinner table in Vegas and Eddie goes up and confronts her and he's like, well, Tamara we talk about this the story comes out a little bit differently was his dick on your face do you know like was he wearing a cock ring or not and like it's just like they're just trash oh full-on trash and at

the very least as long as you're going to be trash at least try to make yourself look better so shave that beard Eddie and but it's just it's just disgusting at this point um yeah he's gross and sad and you know i don't know the entire episode is stupid and then he goes and has his first ever bachelor party and he's with all of his guy friends they're all wearing you know what i'm talking about that shirt that's one size too big that's a button-down shirt that may have you know like a fleur-de-lis on the back or some like tribal tattoo signs across the chest and they all wear them one size too big untucked with like dorky dark denim and like loafers and it's just such like the oc straight male look and i hate it it's awful i feel

like it's a it's a it's derived somehow from both ufc and harley and Harley Davidson culture in the worst possible ways. It's like – Yeah, because I'm obsessed with UFC and MMA, so watch your tongue. You can be obsessed with it, but there's a difference between being obsessed with UFC and MMA and taking part of UFC culture. There's a huge difference. UFC culture is like Ed Hardy and Affliction. Right. No, no, no.

I definitely think that it – I was about to say Ed Hardy and Affliction myself. So, yes, that is the style. Eddie's wearing a hideous blazer. They all go out. And then I think this was set up as a spy, but Heather's husband is there with his cell phone and he's snapping photos of strippers climbing all over Eddie. And then Tamara freaks out because Heather's husband texts a photo back while the girls are out. And Tamara's concerned. Oh, it looks like, you know, that stripper's boob is in Eddie's mouth. And, you know, it just it's manufactured. It's manufactured. It's manufactured.

It's far from classy. It's not even interesting. I think I just again, I think I watch the show because I hate Tamara and I hate Heather so much that I want to see bad things happen to bad people. But at the end of the day, because it's manufactured, I really just walk away going, God, I just wasted 60 minutes of my life. Exactly. And we all know that the best shitster is Lori Waring these days. And I don't know why she wasn't involved with this. Don't talk shit about Lori either. I love that girl. But she's a shitster. She starts it up. She stirs it up um i guess the question is

now um i probably haven't sold you ben on watching this but not at all you guys that are listening to the podcast are watching the videocast please take to facebook and let us know your thoughts on tamra's oc wedding i know that a few of you have already left notes um when you watch the premiere and i'm really on the fence right now. Normally I love this shit, and I try to rope Ben and Ronnie into it. I'm not sure still if Ronnie has seen the premiere or not, but I really don't know that I want to stick with this show, especially with so many other things coming up on Bravo.

And it's the new fall TV season. I really don't know if Tamara's going to stick around, especially with Nene coming. Listen, Bravo is selling their brand they're showing a total lack of creativity by doing all these uh wedding shows and people just don't care and the thing is they don't have enough inherent drama involved it's just bravo's gotta stop bravo's gotta find a new gig for these spinoffs the wedding thing we see it we say it week after week after week. No one cares about Bravo weddings.

Absolutely no one cares. People turn to Bravo to see women fighting with each other and being catty and being bitches. Not to see their fairytale lives come true. We need 40 plus women fighting with each other, preferably at dinner parties, because again,

as we mentioned last week, the very, very sad news, but eat drink love and princesses and a few of these other shows that are younger skewing in theory they're not delivering the ratings people want vicky tamra and the rest of the housewives a normal size cast going at it we don't need these one-off spin-offs, it's not working. Absolutely not. So speaking of middle-aged women going at it, should we move on to Miami? We will in one second. I know you told me to shut my mouth before we started the podcast

so we don't go too long, but we didn't do gossip at the top of the episode, and I do want to mention that this past week, speaking of things not working, Rachel Zoe is definitely not coming back for another season. We still can't tell if Bravo canceled it or if she decided not to come back. Hello, she's a celebrity. Of course Bravo canceled it, because why would she not want to be on TV? Yeah, I think this was life-canceling, the Rachel Zoe project.

I used to enjoy the show in a weird way because you could just make fun of it so easily but then honestly once brad left the show just didn't have any uh didn't have any i don't know it didn't have any oomph anymore it became about roger and and rachel more and rogers she just whines and is annoying and they actually have a very annoying relationship and they they're sort of stupid and they yeah they're not stupid obviously she's she's smarter than she looks she's uh but the relationship is stupid he's kind of a whiny lady and i'm surprised you stayed through the brad years when taylor left i was kind of done at that point so anyway zoe is gone let's go to miami okay oh one other little piece of gossip real quickly. Apparently Lisa and Lisa Vanderpump and Brandi Glanville are no longer talking.

If you want to hear all that. Yeah, that gossip was posted on our page. This is the rumor. Rumor is that there was a big fight. Yolanda called out Lisa saying that Lisa is a shister. And then Brandi was like, yeah, you kind of are. Like you wanted me to bring these tabloids on the vacation. And Lisa's like, no, I didn't. And then they fought was like, yeah, you kind of are. Like, you wanted me to bring these tabloids on the vacation. And Lisa's like, no, I didn't.

And then they fought. And da-da-da-da-da-da. Go to our Facebook page, facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends. You can find the article there and read it to your heart's content in a much more informed way. But the point is this.

We love Brandy, but it'll be hard to dethrone Lisa. If you get on the wrong side of Lisa, even you, Brandy, will probably wind up on our shit list. I was just going to ask you this, Ben, because I know that you were a diehard Lisa fan, but can anything bring Lisa down in your eyes or is she just untouchable to you? The only thing that could bring Lisa down would be something that comes from Vanderpump rules, i.e. keeping all those idiots employed.

That makes me question her judgment, that's for sure. The fact that she defends Stassi, that brings Lisa down. Okay, so I know we're not supposed to talk about gossip because we're supposed to move on to Miami here, but then I'm also hearing a lot of rumors, and I think this was also posted on the Facebook page, about the actual cast for Vanderpump Rules Season 2. Who's in? Who's out? Obviously, Jax and Stassi need to be there, but rumor has it that our horsey pony girls are not in.

I know. I heard that, too. I heard that Horseface isn't there, but then Horseface, number one, Horseface one tweeted that you'll see plenty of me, which I think she got confused. I think she was thinking about this whole New Jersey episode when they were doing some therapy

with the equine creature. But I don't know. I don't know. Here's the thing. If there's any cast I could care less about who's going to be there and who's not going to be there, it's probably this one. It's probably the Band of Crows.

Ben, what will we do without the Queen of Azusa? Oh my god, Sheena. Sheena has to be there because we do without the Queen of Azusa? Oh, my God. Sheena. Sheena has to be there because we do need Azusa to be represented at all times. The horse. Actually, I would like the horse faces to be there because they're just sort of like awful. They did nothing.

They did nothing. They did nothing but act. They were just horse faces. And they talked about how pretty they were and how they were models. But they were just horse faces. And then they had their stupid boyfriends too. I guess I do care on some level. I want a few more hot guys though.

Yeah, we need more hot guys that are willing to rip off their cable knit sweaters in the middle of a fight because people should be wearing cable knit sweaters in the desert of Southern California in July when they film this show. It makes total sense. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, so let's move on to Miami. This was, once again, another eventful episode. Miami, for the second season in a row, seems to be bringing it a lot more than some of these other

franchises. Well, we think the show is bringing it, but viewers are not paying attention, Ben. This show is only averaging 1.3 million viewers, whereas the other Housewives franchises are pulling in more than double. What gives? Why are people not on board with Miami?

Because the first season was a shortened season, and they didn't really give it a proper chance. Because I didn't really give season one a proper chance, but with season two, freaking addicted. No, season two was phenomenal. It was one of the best House of Seasons of all time. But, you know, we are intrepid souls, and we like to explore things and give things chances

and watch and stuff like that. But, you know, people have very busy and full DVRs. And if you do not come as strong out of the gate, that is really a very difficult thing. That's hard. It's hard to get people to jump on board later on. That happens on network TV

all the time, too. I mean, the first season is typically the highest rated. Desperate Housewives. Then it drops 2 million viewers. Then it drops 2. Then it drops 4 in season 4. And then before you know it, it has less than half the people that initially started off with the show. So, the good news

is season 2 of Miami grew out of season 1, but now it's kind of plateaued. I just want people that are listening to this podcast right now or watching this videocast to realize you are missing out if you are not watching The Real Housewives of Miami. It is so much fun. it's like

phenomenal compared to the real housewives of new jersey which is the second highest rated franchise behind atlanta and jersey could not be a more boring waste of time for all of us yeah the thing is that i think what happens is people have a little bit of housewives fatigue there are so many iterations that when it gets to miami they think you know i didn't really like that first season i'm going to take a break from this one i need to come up for air you know um that's what having a week season did for people it made them say this is one franchise i can skip i need to open up some time in my life um which is too bad because honestly not only is it highly entertaining and they have a huge sort of like stable of characters, we're all very colorful.

It looks great. I mean, it is actually a pleasure just to look at. The colors are bright. It feels like you're in Florida. You know, it's just sunny. No, I mean, you're right. It's pretty to look at. And then especially when it's contrasting against something like The Real Housewives of New Jersey where everything is that they all live in that same brown house that exists also in Orange County, which again, as I keep saying, is a version of a bad Vegas casino.

It's all dark woods and limestone. But the great thing is in Miami, it is pretty to watch. I don't care that it's overproduced. I don't care that it looks like an episode of The Hills and that it's completely fake. It's fucking pretty. And on top of that, all the leaves have trees down there. Unlike New Jersey, where all you're looking at is dead trees, crappy strip malls in the middle of Franklin Lakes, vats of egg salad in the back room of cafes. That's what New Jersey is. That's what you're looking at. In Miami, you see turquoise waters. You see cruise liners you see palm trees you see luxury cars and brick driveways it's

and and you see you see romaine lettuce in his skivvies uh romaine lettuce wait did i miss romaine lettuce in his skivvies because there was a part where i i dozed off not because the show but only because i was watching it in very late in the day and I was tired. Are you drinking again? I wish. I wish I were drinking. Is there some Manischewitz up on that dresser behind you? Actually, there are some empty bottles of Sky Vodka that I procured in my youth. And I was like, ooh, look at these big blue bottles.

I'm going to save them forever. As if they were not mass produced. Right. And are you going to save them forever. As if they were not mass produced. Right, and are you going to bring them home, carry on, and then fill them with some... Are you not going to fill them with some glass orbs and some seashells and then make a centerpiece? I was going to say, what I actually should do is just shatter them, and then make a little thing, like a little crafty thing, like a little mosaic of blue glass. And I put it on my coffee table. And it'll look very

Miami-ish, actually, but with the taste level of New Jersey. Okay, where are we starting in Miami? Because you say... I'll say one thing, and then you can get into what actually happens. Okay. Mary Saul this season, you know, I'm not necessarily Team Mary Saul by any means, because

I don't like anybody who goes up against our girl Leah Black. Right. But it bums me that Marisol has been downgraded to Friend of the Housewives when she's actually getting more screen time so far this season than she ever did last season. I know. Well, this is like the first season where Marisol actually has things to say and has

an opinion about things, and now she's only a friend. But, you know, to be fair, she's just like a wet rag. She does nothing. She's like a complainer, you know? I mean, she's not fun. You sort of get, I don't know, she's like sort of sniveling. She's like that friend who, I don't know,

talks shit about you in the corner and, I don't know, but not even in like a funny gossipy way. She just sort of sucks now. I don't know. She doesn't do anything. So she's like, but not even in like a funny gossipy way. She just sort of sucks now. I don't know. She doesn't do anything. So she's like us, but not fun. You know what it is? Exactly.

I kind of feel like she's jumped on the anti-Leia bandwagon, although she was kind of like the original anti-Leia person. But she's not, I don't know. She doesn't bring anything interesting to the conversation. All she does is make stupid jokes about carrier pigeons. Well, yeah. I mean, the reason that she was ever invited to be. Sorry.

No, should that be Bravo's next show? Carrier pigeons? Real pigeons of the orange. You know what? It's like, you know, it's like three in the morning or something. My brain isn't... The mere fact that I was able to utter the phrase carrier pigeon is good news, but

people, my brain is shutting up quickly. Okay, let me get you back on track. Let's start with Romaine Lettuce and Joanna looking at houses. So, this is just like a stupid storyline. This is... You know, this is a big nothing. They've picked out a house that's like dumpy in the front but has a great view in the back.

So it's like the mullet of houses. And they're going to move into it. And who cares? Who cares? If they were on House Hunters, I would care. But on Real Housewives of Miami, I don't care. Okay. Well, more importantly, Joanna saw a sex therapist on this episode, which, you know, anybody that sees a sex therapist on reality TV and puts their life on display in that way is a real class act.

Oh, yeah, I agree. And again, this whole storyline seems fake to me, and I don't believe for one second that they barely have sex. I think Romaine Lettuce is tapping that day and night. And I think if he's not, then she's tapping that all day and night because they're both very attractive. And if they are not having sex all the time, it's a crime against humanity. Um, really, do you, are you attracted to his hair plugs? If those are, you know, yeah, sure. I'll let him have those hair plugs are poorly executed. They are... And by hair plugs, you mean magic marker slash shoe polish.

The Sharpie, he's got an off-brand Sharpie going, and it's just not working. He's got a Sharpie he found at the 99-cent store. His Sharpie he actually found behind the receptionist's desk at that strip mall plastic surgeon that Danielle Staub went to to get her square boobs. Which is the place everybody should go to find some extra Sharpies if they're running low on cash. He's a Sharpie thief. That's what we know about Joe Gorga. That's how he got his millions. He sold Sharpies on the black market. Okay, so what do you think about Joanna going to a sex therapist, though? I mean, is that just, do you think it's completely fabricated because she has nothing else to talk about and they just need some lead up? They need lead up content for their wedding, which is going to take place later in the season, and they need some fodder there?

Yeah. I mean, she's got nothing going on, especially since she apparently is not drinking that much this season. So if she doesn't drink, she's not crazy. And if she's not crazy, what else is there to do than talk about their relationship? But no one cares. No one cares about their relationships. Dear Bravo, if Real Housewives of Miami comes back for a fourth season, part of Joanna's contract must be girl gets drunk.

Yeah, have that be her arc. Have her have a struggle with alcoholism, but not too much of a struggle that it would seem poor if she continued to drink. We want her to drink the entire time. Right. I mean, not a struggle like Carrie from, you know, the amazing show Married to Medicine, because she's had lots of struggles. Yeah, no. She's struggled. I've had a 20-year struggle with alcoholism, which is not funny at all. It's not funny to make fun of that i think

it's funny alcoholism is hilarious um i think um i i if she if they do broach the alcohol topic i just don't want to be like the oc where you had kirsten who is a who's always reaching for a glass of wine for like two seasons. And then they finally decided to make a story about it and send her to rehab and then make her, then she stopped reaching for the wine and she became less fun. Yeah. So the moral of the story is never stop reaching for wine. Never embrace your alcoholism, embrace your alcoholism. Um, okay. So wait, Joanna though, isn't the only, uh, lady of Miami. That's not getting any action downism. Okay, so wait. Joanna, though, isn't the only lady of Miami that's not getting any action down south. The other women, I think Lisa and Adriana were actually also talking about the fact that they're not getting any sex either.

What is going on in Miami? I don't know. Well, I can understand Lisa not getting any sex because she basically looks like silly putty. And I don't know what sort of guy wants to nail a silly putty. Her husband is way more hideous. They, they're both a little grotesque. There's like,

it's, it definitely looks like they look like two dental dams, basically just the stretched out latex with tongue and teeth coming out. This would be the segment in the show which should be sponsored by like uh you know one of those like zales where matt clutches his pearls brought to you by zales brought to you by zales um you know by the way we do have to pause uh well on the audio version it's going to pause on the video version it's not going to pause but we're going to pause, on the video version it's not going to pause. But we're going to pause and on the audio version we're going to insert some very fun words about Squarespace right here.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio. For a free trial and 20% off, go to squarespace.com and use offer code CRAP9. It's a really useful website with a lot of cool templates. You can design your own thing. If you want to build your website, this is a great place to start, especially if you don't know coding. It's really a great platform, and Squarespace is constantly improving it with a lot of new features and new designs and even better support. They have beautiful designs for you to start with, in fact, and a lot of style options to create your own website for your business. So go on with your bad self and start up a site on Squarespace.

It's really easy to use, and if you need some help, they've got a support team that works 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It's only $8 a month, and that includes a free domain name if you sign up for a year. I mean, you always like free things, don't we? Every design automatically includes a unique mobile experience that matches the overall style of your website, so your content will look great on every device, every single time. And you can embed videos and trailers of your favorite TV shows, and they've got a lot of support from YouTube and Vimeo.

It's great. So start a trial with no credit card required. Start building your website. When you decide to sign up for Squarespace, make sure to use the offer code CRAP9, C-R-A-P-9, to get 10% off. And also to show your support for Watch What Crappens. Thanks, Squarespace, for your support. And remember, Squarespace is everything you need to create an exceptional website. Okay, back to Lisa Hochstein. Ben, we saw in this episode that she's also starting to become like a double dealer and she is kind of playing both sides now. Again, I don't think that Lisa has much of a storyline, but I think that her arc for the remainder of the season is going to be shit stir.

What side do I belong on? Yeah, that's what she always is. She doesn't really bring much to the table. She didn't do much last season. and she's going to do the same thing this year, which is sort of lend a shoulder and an ear and a boob to someone and maybe go back and forth, sort of like the famous carrier pigeon of Marisol Patton's brain. But, yeah, she doesn't do much. She does nothing.

She plays both sides, but she's not really even starting to pop. She's just there. Well, she confronts in a weird way, not really confronts in a harsh way, but she talks to Adriana about, you know, this whole story again about the wedding, yada yada, which we can't seem to get rid of. And then Bravo does a really cool thing by showing how much of a fraud Adriana is by putting together a nice little package where we see how this story keeps changing on a constant basis, depending upon who she's speaking to. Exactly. And that, again, is proof that Bravo is more on the side of Leah. Because there are some times, again, in this episode, where it looks like they're almost painting Leah as the bad one. But the fact that they keep on doing these montages,

the montages are the producer's way of being like, this is what we think about the situation, and we're going to show you the footage to show how fucked up this is. So, I think that Leah continues to look good on this show. I think, I know, again, we say this every week, she was concerned that she'd be,

you know, look like Jill Zarin or something like that. She, I think she looks fine, and when the women carp about her being fake, about her smiling at them and kissing them on the cheek to say hello at a function and saying, she's so fake, she's so fake. All I have to say is this, if she said nothing, you know what those women would be saying? They'd be like, I can't believe her. She's not even talking to us. Is that immature or what? You know,

you can't win with women like that. Right. It's kind of like you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. So in that case, I'm kind of like, okay, well then give her a fake kiss on the cheek as opposed to being called a straight up bitch for not even acknowledging her presence. Yeah, exactly. Which is exactly what Anna did to Leo. When Anna arrives at Alexia's party, ices Leo out and purposely says hello to Joanna, solidifying the fact that Anna is a... See you next Tuesday. Ding, ding, ding. Ben, you get a prize. and purposely says hello to Joanna, solidifying the fact that Anna is a... See you next Tuesday. Ding, ding, ding. Ben, you get a prize.

I didn't want to say the C word just yet, but I thought I'd spell it out. No, no, she is. Anna has had such a precipitous fall. She was totally fine last season, and then all of a sudden she just sucks. She just sucks. She walks into the party and she sucks. And I think, you know, you know, when Anna and Alexia and Marisol and Adriana get together and they talk about how fake Leah is and all that stuff. It it's it's comes off like a bunch of clicky middle school girls, you know, and Leah. Dare I say it makes me miss Dr. Karen Sierra DDS just a little bit. I miss Dr. Karen Sierra.

She was a great villain. She was a great villain. I don't know that she was a villain. I thought that she came across as more of a punching bag last season, but I'd rather these ladies punch her than punch Leah. Well, she started off as a villain and then turned into a punching bag. And then she's sort of like a punching bag villain, which is sort of a fun combination because you sort of go back and forth between feeling bad for them and hating them. But more we lean more towards the hate side because, you know, what watch what happens podcast would be fun if we didn't hate people.

I know it's now another time for Ben's quiet impersonations. I hate her. I... Oh, it's now another time for Ben's quiet impersonations. I hate her. I hate her. But you know what? But you love some vanilla ice cream. I love vanilla ice cream. Notice that I have to get up close to my Macintosh's internal microphone in order to do that impersonation.

So those who are watching get a real face full of quiet impersonation. Are you not on a word processor at your parents' house? I used to have a word processor when I was in high school. Shockingly, I'm not on the old Apple TGS. But we can make it work. I don't know. Maybe if I clear up the Bank Street Press from it and the print shop, I might be able to clear up some room to do a podcast on the 2GS.

And maybe some Sims and some Roller Coaster Tycoon. You could free up some space. Let me tell you something. The 2GS is working a whole hell of a lot better than my iPhone right now. My iPhone, which took a plunge in the Atlantic Ocean. Whoops. Did somebody throw you in the ocean, or did you just dive in with your electronics on you? I was on a little sailboat that capsized.

Did everybody survive? Everyone survived. Everyone survived, but my phone and my camera did not. And one of my flip-flops floated off into into somewhere as did my sunglasses. So it was tough. That's a rough one. I'm sorry. It was rough, but it was quite the experience. And we will be talking about that probably on banter with Ben and Lisa this week. That was a little tie in. Okay. Let's, let's get to Alexia's party. This is the big like venue party and yeah and

i don't know i thought it was kind of lame i mean we hardly saw the party itself i mean so all the housewives were there and then frederick and wait wait i don't think lisa was there lisa was not lisa was in a bubble bath trying to get pregnant, which, of course, was never going to happen. So she might as well have gone to the party. Doesn't she also realize, like, first of all, when your vagina is made of silly putty, strike one. When your husband's penis is made of silly putty, strike two. And number three, then when you try to have sex in a scalding hot bathtub, really not a good place for the little spermies to survive. Listen, Lisa's got to do what I just did for my iPhone, which is she's got to soak herself

into some distilled water to make sure all the salt water is out and all the corrosion stops. And then she's got to just lie in a pile of dried rice to pull the moisture out, and then she'll be good to go. Right. And then it'll be perfect. Then once she's all dried out, then there'll be good to go right and then it'll be perfect then she'll then she'll once she's all dried out then there'll be some good friction to make some babies yeah then she can get the heat on you know that's all we are we are disgusting she just has to treat herself like an iphone that fell into the atlantic she just needs to treat herself treat yourself reda and aziz ansari style by um maybe having a ladies' night at home with some P.F. Chang's takeout,

extra on the dry brown rice. You know what? Not even the takeout. She should just go to the P.F. Chang's frozen stuff that they now have at the supermarket and just lather it all down there, lather it all down there. Is it next to the Kathy Waukele cannoli kits that are clearly not in any frozen goods section, freezer section? It's in the fusion section of the P.F. Chang cannoli, which is a cannoli that's filled with sesame chicken.

And you put that down there, and you get presents. Ben, that's called an egg roll. Oh, you're actually kind of right. And by the way, I am not above a cannoli filled with sesame chicken. I am not above that at all. Because I love cannolis and I love sesame chicken. And I think they could work nicely together. I think you could put it on a food truck and get Kat O'Dell reviewing it.

And then she could put it in an eater and then she could put them on the map. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real I'm Francesca Ramsey and I'm Conscious Lee what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History Rosa Parks Reconstruction MLK February Black History exactly exactly there are so many stories of Black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more.

She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat

or be eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.

Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. I hate her. I can't do that. We will get there. We will get there. Okay, back to the venue party.

They had been pimping this fight between Frederick and Romaine Lettuce, you know, all season long. And by all season long, I mean the first five episodes. So we finally saw that happen, but it really wasn't like that big of a fight, but they did end up dragging their females into it, which still there is obviously carryover from last season where Adriana and Joanna got into a verbal and physical altercation.

Well, the big thing that they kept on promoting all year, all season was this moment when Frederick points at Romaine Lettuce and Romaine Lettuce takes his hand and just pushes it out of the way. And you're like, oh shit. In real life, when that happens, it's so insignificant that there's actually a voiceover that's happening over it. Like it's not even a thing. They don't even have a musical stinger

to emphasize that this happened. It just sort of happens. See, I actually, I beg to differ. If you were to put your hand in my face or my chest when we were starting to get heated, and I smacked your hand away, I would think immediately, like, I'm going for the jugular. You would think.

But remember, these are like two French men fighting. And so as a result, it was just basically like a whiny, snivelly little altercation that really, you know, it was just some huffy words about a car wash and that's it. In French, which I actually enjoyed. Actually, oddly enough, I really enjoy hearing Adriana speaking different languages. She has very few talents, but that is one of them.

She speaks five languages. And the language of love. And the language of love and deception. Okay. So what do you think about how this is going down? And I don't know. I mean, Alexia then also kind of started to throw some shade Leah's way too.

I felt. Yeah. So whereas Lisa seems to be playing both sides in the supportive way, Alexia seems to be playing both sides in the shady way. Alexia seems to be playing both sides in the shady way. Because this week, she accused Leah of being insincere,

inauthentic, whatever, or fake. Which is like, Alexia, you're the host of this party. Who the hell cares? And don't do that. Why would you do that? Here's the thing. I want to love Alexia, but she keeps pulling this shit where I'm like, I can't love her if she's going to be acting a fool. Yeah, do it to Karen Sierra. Don't do it to Leah.

But then next week she yells at all the women, presumably because she probably wants to go to Leah's function. And the women are like, well, I'm not going to go to that. And Alexia's probably like, well, it's for charity. And who cares? Put your egos aside and's for charity. And, like, who cares? Put your egos aside and support this charity. And also, you know what else they should support? This is the only party in all the Real Housewives shows, franchises, whatever. This is the only legit party that ever gets thrown.

And this is not me blowing air up Leah's ass because, again, we know and like Leah. It's, like, the only party that party that has like real celebrities that show up she has like flow rider you know and say what you will about flow rider but he's like a huge he's a bazillionaire and he's a huge international star so there's no denying she has a little wayne at her parties like this is not this is not you know a caroline manzo you know party at the Brownstone where Bernie Clarick shows up, okay, or Carrick or whatever his name is. You know, this is not a David Foster party, although David Foster is legit huge, but this is not one where, like, the backup trumpeter, like, shows up.

This is, like... Where Chris Bote, jazz fusion artist Chris Bote bote shows up yeah and that's not to take away from david fosser he is huge but i'm just saying the parties that we've seen on all these shows i mean this is like when you're dealing with like these little wayne or whatever this is these are like cool hip celebrities you know and they're showing up at leah's functions okay so let's just remember who we're on the totem pole these people are. Okay. Okay.

In terms of the housewife. I'm not going to fight you on that. I'm not going to go as far as saying Lil Wayne is cool, but at least he's well-known and he's rich. And he's current. Like, he has pop culture cachet, you know? Unlike Chris Bote or any of those really sad sad like ex-american idols that uh taylor used to parade around after her husband hung himself remember she'd be like here's my pal ace young he came in seventh place on the ninth season of american idol yeah at least lil wayne

is not faye resnick a former like ancillary character from the o.J. Simpson Circus. I like the way you phrased that. An ancillary character from the O.J. Simpson Circus. That's going to be my sophomore album. You know what? I wish I were an ancillary character from the O.J. Simpson Circus. Don't get me wrong. I am very jealous of Faye Resnick. Not going to lie,

I might have had a crush on Kato Kaelin. Not going to lie. I never had one for Kato Kaelin. But I'm sure if you poke around that trial, there's someone I would have had a crush on. Marsha Clark. Marsha Clark. She knew how to wear a perm. She knew how to wear a facial mole like nobody's business.

She knew something about a blue lady suit yeah she knew how to rock some extra shoulder pads yeah she certainly did two pair two pair yeah um all right do we have anything else to say about miami no but i feel like we're ending kind of on a sour note because we were saying that this is such an amazing housewives franchise i feel like and it is i just feel like this episode really didn't take us anywhere new but i do know that we um still have plenty of fireworks ahead of us especially with two um weddings on the horizon and um you know there's no doubt in my mind that joanna's gonna hit the bottle at some point i mean this season this season can't happen without an appearance

by her crazy sister marta and some Polish vodka. Oh, yeah. There will definitely be some issues, especially now that Marta and Romaine let us run the skids again, as if anyone cares. The episode, I did enjoy it. I did enjoy it, and it's still good. What do you want to move on to next? Eat, Drink, Love or New Jersey? Let's talk jersey for a few

minutes it was again super boring you guys i cannot believe that we are still oh well look i actually like the episode i will say this i like anybody or any episode or anything for that matter that involves a horse whisperer yes um so that was fun because this dude was regulating people left and right and shutting people up like Richie. And it was just that, I mean, that was fun for me, but call me crazy.

I feel like this episode feels like it has been 1700 episodes long. I know. Well, I, I, I actually really enjoyed the episode. I enjoyed watching this horse therapy because there was this, I guess there was like this element of suspense,

which was could they lift up a horse hoof, which sounds like a very small level of bar of suspense, but I found it to be oddly involving. And I did think it was interesting that Teresa and What's-Her-Face were the only two idiots that couldn't pick up the stupid horse hoof um and I loved like you said I loved this guy just sort of like shut them all up he was this like tall commanding Trace Atkins type with a horse meets Kenny Rogers roasters yes meets Kenny Rogers roasters and a little dog the bounty hunter hunter. And, um, I, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the questions

that he asked and seeing if they were going to break down. Um, it really highlighted how dumb and vapid they all are. Uh, let me ask you this. Do you think that he was really asking that many questions or was he more making like blanket statements? I feel like we had this just a few weeks ago on, um, the real housewives of new jersey when they were um at that retreat and then dr v from that other horrible bravo show was kind of brought in and clearly she was you know on the plane reading the dossiers you know just learning like blankety type of things about these relationships and these fucked up people and i feel like we kind of got that again and it was like uh that was just three weeks ago bravo you're really not trying to like you know do anything new for us fans yeah i mean i think i think last season

we all enjoyed watching joe and theresa go into therapy and so bravo's like yeah let's just like make a whole lot of episodes where this happens and i actually think this season the therapy episodes have been the most interesting because the non-therapy episodes have just been them throwing water bottles at a gym or confronting weird salon owners at some birthday party. There hasn't been much. So the therapy stuff is at least interesting to me. But I agree with what you said, which is that it kind of feels like, all right, let's move on to something else. And then when I saw coming up next week, they're still at this resort doing more therapy.

I'm like, how much? We saw them already banging the drums, the Navajo drums. What else is there? Now they've got to do a high ropes course? I'm sick of it. They probably have to do a high ropes course. We already saw them do trust falls. So I'm just trying to think of every corporate retreat I've ever been on.

And you know what? They've crossed all the T's and dotted all the fucking I's. You know, people who run these corporate retreats should be pissed at Bravo because Bravo is undoing all their work. Bravo is proving that these corporate retreats do nothing because these people also hate each other. I actually think that Bravo should greenlight a new show called Sexy Corporate Retreats, and it could be like a cast just below deck

but setting up sexy corporate retreats. Well, that's actually a brilliant idea because it's about team building with a team that's totally dysfunctional. The team who is trying to set up the team building for the corporate people are the dysfunctional ones, but they're all sexy and sleeping together and maybe fighting a little bit along the way

and maybe drinking a little too much and falling off a boat. I mean, falling off of a ropes course without without the without her uh harness properly attached with a carabiner what would it be called high tension no that's already that's that's already a french horror film called oh yeah yeah i actually remember that one. It could be called On the Ropes. I like it. Which is also a big Ryan movie, but that's okay. Or Below Deck 2.

And really have nothing to do with nautical themes. Above Ropes. Above Ropes. Above Ground. I think it could be called On the Ropes. On the Ropes and Below Deck should really just be paired together. That would be the ultimate TV block, I'm not going to lie. By the way, if Bravo makes a reality show about a team-building team that is in itself dysfunctional,

we get credit. We're trademarking it. We're doing a common law copyright right here. What's the date and time? The date is on the Pacific time. It is 10 21 on it is 10 21 it is 10 21 on tuesday september 3rd here's my phone proving it um ben is on the east coast so the time is a little bit different oops my phone died there we go 10 21 bravo this belongs to us not you

sexy corporate retreats sexy corporate retreats um speaking of sexy corporate retreats this one This belongs to us, not you. Sexy Corporate Retreats. Sexy Corporate Retreats. Speaking of Sexy Corporate Retreats, this one was... Wait, I thought of a new title. What? Trick or Retreat. Interesting. I like where you're going. I like where you're going for it. It sounds like it's a little bit about prostitutes.

And it will be hosted by Danielle Staub as the mentor. Danielle Staub will play the tim gun it sounds like they're timid prostitutes trick or treat like hey looking for a good time never mind never mind never mind i'm actually wearing i'm actually wearing granny panties you don't want any part of this please no no just no no no more um uh so what else happened so they they all talked to the horse the horse did not kick anyone No, no, no, no more. So what else happened? So they all talked to the horse.

The horse did not kick anyone, which is bullshit. Kathy felt disrespected. Do you think that it was a stuffed horse, or was it a live being? I think it was Andy Cohen, and he was in there with Lance Bass. But he couldn't be in there with Lance Bass because Lance Bass just got engaged to some model dude. You know, and I have to say, by the way, good for Lance Bass, because I have to say this. He's looking better than ever. He really has. He's doing a good job with himself. I applaud Lance Bass. You know, after that whole space exploration thing, you know, came crashing down. And that was, you know, why he was in the news at

that point i never thought we were going to hear from this dude again ever but good for him good for him he snagged he snagged himself a hot piece too he's done nicely he has of course he has well you know when you're really gay when you are have any mild amount of fame and you're gay you can immediately advance the top of class and get like whoever you want. And especially if you're someone like Lance Bass, you're going to get the pick of the litter. So of course he's got a hot, a hot one, but I,

I'm, I'm happy that he, you know, he dresses well, he looks good. Cause I remember in his instinct days, he looked awkward. He looked strange.

He looked, well, I mean, at that point, I think that he was in the closet and he really didn't know how to, you know, embrace his frosted tips properly like he does now. Yes.

The good news is he didn't embarrass himself on the VMAs. And Lance Bass, if you're listening right now, or if any of you are involved with that Lance Bass XM Sirius radio show that he hosts, they need to invite us on there, Ben. Yeah, absolutely. And this was actually, I wasn't even saying any of this as a ploy to curry his favor. I was just sincerely giving props to a fellow gay no we all were we all were and god damn his husband to be is fine fine fine fine um so anyway um yeah so there was a lot of therapy rosie cried

kathy cried kathy felt unloved and k Kathy should have felt unloved because did you see that outfit? I mean, these people, I'm going to say this. You think the Orange County housewives can't dress with their bedazzled muumuu tops? These women in Jersey dress like some messy ass heifers. They always look like they just skinned Chewbacca

and made Chewbacca into a vest of some sort. You know what? These are actually, these are actually their day-to-day clothes, but I always am thinking like, oh, that came out of a costume box. That had to have come out of a costume box. And that costume box is called New Jersey. And that will be my third album, Costume Box.

Costume Box named New Jersey. So, you know, the thing is with Kathy, you know, I love Box. Costume Box named to Jersey. So, you know, the thing is with Kathy, you know, I love Kathy. I love Kathy. We all love Kathy, but we don't like Richie. I actually like Richie too, but what I am getting a little sick of with Kathy is she feels

disrespected. She feels like no one pays attention to her. And then someone like Rosie stands up and says, hey, you know what, people, be, you know, be, be, you know, give, give Kathy her due. And then Kathy tells us, you know, uh, you know, I like that Rosie's doing that, but you know what I could say, you know, I can say it for myself. I'm like, well, then Kathy, why didn't you say it for yourself? Okay. Either, either feel, feel snubbed and then embrace someone helping you or don't feel or feel snubbed and then embrace someone helping you,

or feel snubbed and just do it for yourself, but you can't do it. Here's the problem. We love her because she's more normal than these other psychopath females, and the problem is her personality is not going to allow her to pull on somebody's hair and slap them across the face and spit on them and flip a table over. Like, that's just not Kathy. But guess what? If Kathy is going to still be part of this show, she needs to do something. And you know what? When her sister, Rosie, who is not a real cast member, is upstaging her on a weekly slash seasonally basis,

her on a weekly slash seasonally basis seasonal basis there is a problem kathy is not doing enough to warrant a spot on this show as a full-time cast member despite the fact that we love her do you think bravo will ever have a lesbian housewife and not like a lipstick lesbian type but like a full like like a rosy lesbian well weren't they kind of like knocking down that door with OC a few years ago when they brought on that Latina female personal trainer? Yeah, but she was a full-on lesbian too, but she was more of like a hot lesbian. I'm talking about like a full-on, like a bull dyke lesbian who's just like fat, sort of looks like a man man and is real rough around the edges i guess you just you just completely described rosie yeah and you know what like

as i described i was like bravo will never do that because that's not bravo is all about like glitz and glamour and shiny dresses and that's not rosie right i mean they also need to appeal to the gay male audience and um I don't want to watch that. Yeah, Rosie is like the rural network, or versus TV. That's what Rosie is. You know what? This is the thing. We love Rosie.

We love her storyline. We're really happy for her. But, you know, I don't need to know anything else about Rosie until she's getting laid. Because she has gone six years without getting laid. And that's just sad. I think if anyone deserves a spin off, it should be Rosie. I should be Rosie's quest to get a good haircut. And maybe, maybe to find a different ball.

And I'm like, can she get a different hat? Yeah, really. Oh, but I love Rosie. I actually, even though we're,

we're making fun of her hair, she's great. Here's another idea. Dear Bravo, bring back one of the greatest shows in the history of your network. Even though we're making fun of her hair, she's great. Here's another idea. Dear Bravo, bring back one of the greatest shows in the history of your network called Sheer Genius and have Tabitha host it because she came in fourth place on season one. And then have it kind of be like an all-stars where the people getting their hair cut are Bravo stars with bad haircuts like Rosie. Yeah, or like season one where they went and had to style the hair of all the Real Housewives of Orange County. Right, or Lynn could come back from season three of Real Housewives of Orange County wearing that crazy, creepy wig that makes her look like a serial killer.

Oh, you mean Quinn. Quinn. I was about to say Lynn. I mean, Lynn could, but Lynn could show up too. I would have no problem with that. I would never let Lynn Curtin near me with a pair of scissors. I was suggesting that Lynn could be a subject, not a, oh my God, I would love that. Real Housewives Beauty School, send the Real Housewives to Beauty School and then make them cut hair and see what happens.

And force them to work with Gretchen Christine Beauté products that are now no longer available because she stole them and put her name on a label and now the company is suing her. And their mentor could be Jonathan Anton. Yes. Okay, so... So what happened on Jersey? um okay so so what happened on jersey they scratched the horse they scratched some horse butt and then um jacqueline actually had like a breakdown and theresa got up and dare i say this i know i sound like a fucking idiot i felt like the embrace that the two of them shared and the hug that theresa gave jacqueline showed me signs of rekindling their friendship and it reminded me

of the good moments when they were actually buddies back in the day um no from for me that's no no for me sorry to be totally dismissive I'm just like someone totally guarded walking up to a horse but um for me it was to me it highlighted how how screwed up all these people are they're such blockheads that that the simple act of hugging someone who's crying which is a very basic courtesy is considered a groundbreaking move for for joe judas for instance to say yeah i uh i don't want to go to jail it's uh i don't i don't want to do that that's not what i want to do everyone's like wow what a breakthrough what a breakthrough like is that really a breakthrough for him to sort of mumble his way through a through a pretty logical

emotion it is a breakthrough it is a breakthrough for juicy joe to say more than three words and or calling his wife the c word so anything else that we get on top of that is a breakthrough that's true anytime that he's in a situation that involves a horse or ballroom dancing where he also doesn't drop the f word as in the gay f word that's also a breakthrough right or when he is not practicing his steven seagal karate moves on a punching bag in his garage, it is a breakthrough. When he is not falling on his face and knocking out his tooth on the dining room floor, it is a breakthrough. When he is not standing around with booze sweats and red wine sweat coming down his forehead, that is a breakthrough. down his forehead, that is a breakthrough. When he is not lying about the fact that he flipped a car over on the side of the road because he didn't have a DUI and he needed to race home and take

five shots of alcohol before calling the police, then that is a breakthrough. When he is speaking about his feelings and not walking into a DMV with his brother's license and trying to pass it off as his own because his original license was suspended because he crashed a car and then took five shots afterwards to erase the memory of it, that is a breakthrough. When he is not ignoring that fourth daughter of his that I don't even know her name because she really is not his daughter, that is a breakthrough. When he has emerged from his secret bedroom on the first floor of their mansion, that is a breakthrough.

I am done. I am done. I can't think of any more Jojo does history, and I don't think I even want to at this point. And I was about to say, when he is not shirtless in a hot tub with his wife, but oh wait, that did happen. That did happen, and then he also talked, that was a little bit more of wife. But, oh, wait, that did happen. That did happen.

And then he also talked. That was a little bit more of a breakthrough moment for me because he did talk a little bit about his fears about going to jail. And you could see him sort of like his eyes were drifting off to a distant place as reality was starting to sink in. And that was, you know, and he was trying to be like, oh, so, you know, that's what's God's plan. That's what's God's plan.

But you could actually and he was trying to be like, oh, so, you know, that's what's God planned. That's what's God planned. But you can actually see he's scared. And now the license thing is the least of his worries now. Right. I mean, that's, you know, one of the fucked up slash delicious things about this program. Because I actually do think that Jersey, despite the fact that it's boring to me, is kind of more authentic. Because you really do have these serious problems and these, uh, family issues that are, that are present and constantly in flux. But Joe really did seem,

um, a little upset there. And the thing is, it's like, this is just the beginning, buddy. Like we are not even at the point with the, the 39 counts of this and the Teresa could go to jail too.

And the, Oh my God, this is national fucking news on CNN about how messed up your life is. God, probably makes him pine for the days when his biggest stress was folding some pizza boxes at the old pizzeria.

Which I'm sure there are plenty of dead bodies buried under that. I'm sure. So I think that's pretty much it for Jersey, right? For the most part, I mean, there also is, we're kind of getting at a point now where Melissa's kind of just a bitch. Yeah. She's just sort of, you know, she is, she and Teresa deserve each other as sister-in-laws because they are,

they are both guarded. And the fact that both of them couldn't get the meaning of that horse exercise i agreed with caroline on that that that really showed how guarded they are and why they will never be able to resolve it because they did miss the points completely um will al and caroline ever be able to resolve their problems through um equine therapy or those two just fucked and headed for divorce themselves uh i don't know about equine therapy or are those two just fucked and headed for divorce themselves? I don't know about equine therapy. Maybe egg salad therapy, courtesy of Cafes.

I don't even know what egg salad therapy would look like, taste like, or smell like, but I hate egg salad. I think egg salad therapy is you have to walk up to Lauren Manzo, and if you're feeling unguarded and you pet her arm, she gives you a scoop of egg salad. Or you have to eat the egg salad off of her hoof. I don't think that she has hooves. She reminds me of a big old grizzly bear, and I feel like if you were ever – she's one of those grizzly bear mamas that instead of protecting her cubs protects her like you know big old vat of egg salad and you know whenever like somebody threatens her cubs meaning her you know vat of egg salad she kind of like paws at them like like big old ham hock paws i love that we've had this like running joke for a year that like lauren manzo is an expert and guardian of egg salad at cafes

like i'm gonna be honest with you like i understand the cafes jokes at this point but where the hell did the egg salad come from i've totally forgotten i think we just had a run of jokes once like a year ago that like they did nothing like that it was such a silly concept and that you get your makeup and then an egg salad sandwich and we just kept on joking about egg salad sandwich and people in the comments were about egg salad sandwiches and we just we just started making everything pertaining to lauren and now the manzos in general has to do an egg salad and it makes no sense and if they were ever to watch us they'd be like what the fuck is wrong with you people we don't even need egg salad it's like i'm sorry manzos it's just as a funny concept. And it just seems to suit you

guys so well. You guys are an egg salad family. Right. I mean, we grew up with the Manzo's throwing ham at each other. I mean, that's a family fun time game at the Manzo household. So what's a little egg salad on the side? Yeah. Listen, if you have allowed yourself to be filmed on camera, throwing ham on your walls, then I i'm sorry you have to be able to accept the fact that you might be associated with egg salad also you might be associated with any deli item right especially when you name your store kafache which really looks like cafe which is cafe face but we prefer to you know call it cat face. Cat face. I mean, really, it really is up there with one of the silliest names. Ben, when are you flying back to,

to LA? Because I feel like you're close enough where you should go on a housewives tour while you're still on the East coast, hit up some hotspots in Jersey, hit up some hotspots. You know, maybe you could go, you know,

you could go to, you could definitely go to quag. Um, you could go, you know, you could go to, you could definitely go to quag. Um, you could even pop into quag. You could pop into Zarin fabrics and see if Jill is actually still working behind the register. I could, I'd be like,

Hey Jill, remember me? We did a podcast together. I've walked by Zarin fabrics before. I would be definitely intrigued to go to Franklin lakes. That's for sure. I could, I would,

I could be convinced to go there. Um, I'm trying to think of the other, uh, local landmarks. I's for sure. I could, I would, I could be convinced to go there. Um, I'm trying to think of the other, uh, local landmarks. I don't know. Um, posh. Oh yeah. Posh. I absolutely have to go to posh and cafes. And, uh, Richie's gas station. Oh yes, definitely. And I'm trying to think of New York, New York places I could go to. I mean, last, last time this year was when I had drinks with Maggie from Gallery Girls. That was a pretty good Bravo moment there.

I felt good about that. That was a great Bravo moment. It was a great watch what crap in this moment because then you were able to come back and tell us all about it a few weeks before Gallery Girls was canceled. I felt so honored that my real life intersected with Gallery Girls and that I got to see a cockroach fall on Maggie's head. She was funny, but I felt bad for her because who wants a cockroach on their head? But it was kind of funny that it fell on her head. Did anything else happen during this episode or was everybody just horrible? Let's go on to Eat, Drink, Love.

So Eat, Drink, Love, it's running out of steam for me i have to say well how many episodes is this season i don't know probably like seven it's like uh this past episode was listen if i have to sit and watch waylon flirt her way with this chef any longer i may just have to throw myself in the phone oven because it's not that it's like how many times that we have to watch her try on her wedding dress again. She's like, well, if this thing, you want me to put this on? Okay. I guess one more time. I mean, look, this girl is not like,

compared to some of the other girls on this show, Waylon is not 23. Let's just call a spade a spade. So stop putting on your wedding dress because you are sadder than Katherine Heigl, star of 27 Dresses. Yeah, that is exactly how it came off. I mean, listen, you know, she's a beautiful woman.

She really is beautiful. I actually think that she's gorgeous. She's gorgeous, despite her hideous back tattoos. And her Sammy Hagar hairdo. No, I like her hair. But she's affected. My friends and I were talking about this offline. There's something about it that's very affected.

Like, oh, I'm just in this rom-com. And, oh, my God, like, I said I wouldn't date a chef again. But here I am. Oh, let's go to Lola's, you know? I don't know. There's something just precious. Don't ever, or no to you, don't ever invite me to go to Lola's on La Brea. Well, guess what?

It closed last week. Permanently? Because it sucks. It's on Fairfax. Yeah. I didn't like Lola's. Oh, on Fairfax. That's right.

sucks it's on fairfax yeah i didn't like lola's on fairfax that's right and i know that they created the green apple martini but well we saw how that turned out yeah um so she's she's sad and pathetic and clearly trying to be an actress but i secretly love her but really phone nots boring i mean she's she's very talented and she seems smart, but I just don't like this whole, like, like excessively coy routine that she has. It's just, it's,

it's a little unctuous to me. I don't, I don't like it. Okay. For those of you out there who are listening to this podcast, Ben, you should probably define the word unctuous. Um,

it's like Waylon, you know, it's Waylon. It's like, it's, I unctuous. It's like Waylon. It's Waylon. I don't know. It's hard to describe. I did want to hang out, though, with her mom and her brother at her mom's house. In Hancock Park. In Hancock Park with that little private pool in the backyard. I was all about that.

Yeah. No, that was – they have definitely a sweet setup. And, again, don't get me wrong. Waylon seems bright and she is beautiful. I just don't like this attitude that she has. I'm never going to get a point on again. I can never walk into a store again. Rich people are horrible.

It's true. It's true. They are. I'm looking at the proper definition of unctuous. Okay, here it is. Of a person who is unctuous, excessively or ingratiatingly flattering, oily. He seemed anxious to please, but not in an unctuous way. She doesn't seem oily. She doesn't need a VO. Well, maybe she needs a VO5.

I may have used the word incorrectly. She is not oily. She is not oily. So then we had, I can't get out of my dictionary screen um so then we had let's see there was a lot of the chipmunk girl jessica is that her name yeah who by the way really did you tell me have you been to fuku burger or not um i had some of their catering at an event but i haven't right but you you didn't seem blown away by that the catering was not great no every time i gotta tell you people this is the girl that is the manager slash pr marketing girl behind fuku burger she seems kind of cool because she like tweeted at me or something but here's the thing i drive past that fuku burger constantly because it's on my way

to the arc light and i drive down up and down down Coango like every other day of my life. There is never anybody in that. It's one of those places with, like, the open front. Nobody is ever in that goddamn restaurant. It is true. It is always pretty empty, and that's a strip where there's, like, a lot of restaurants that have a lot of people in it. Serious competition. I mean, Ben, you know this.

I don't love stout, but you like stout, but stout is packed and nobody, and they're eating burgers and drinking beer there. They are not doing it at Fuku burger. Yeah, no, all those places are, are, are crowded. I mean, I would like to go to Fuku burger. When I get back to LA, I'll go to Fuku burger and give it a try and report back here. Maybe we should go to Fuku burger next week before the podcast. And we'll try it so that we can talk more shit about her and the restaurant on the podcast. Absolutely, but I won't be back next week.

Are you some like rich Kelly Killer and Ben Simone on a seven-week vacation? No, no, no, no. I'll be back on the 15th, but I will not be back before then. Unfortunately, I have to spend the next week out here. Thanks, Jews.

And your holidays, like Rosh Hashanah. Ugh. Happy New Year, by the way, to everyone who's Jewish and listening to this. So anyway, so Fuku Burger, but here's one thing to Jessica's credit.

She, at the very least, managed to snag an extremely hot guy for now. Are they still together? Let's take some bets. Are they still together? No, because he probably had to sit through that entire date and realize, I cannot possibly date this girl. Or if he ever watched any of these episodes of this show, he would probably just kill himself. He was hot. But the other thing that happened with Rebecca is that last week she got a price quote from Lindsay, this sort of

new side character who's a mixologist, and also an actress. She has a full-on IMDb page. What has she starred in? Has she starred in any films by the amazing producer Gone with the Wind, fabulous Kenya Moore? Has she been in any of her productions? someday maybe she will um no so so i guess so i guess lindsey quoted her five thousand dollars front rate to come up with six cocktails i think it was to do six cocktails and to consult with the bar do you think that that is a reasonable rate or no what's the number five thousand five thousand

i think it's not reasonable. No, it's way too high. That's ridiculous. Because guess what? For those of you people who are listening to this and you don't live in Los Angeles, guess what? Everybody in Los Angeles thinks that they're an actor.

Everybody in Los Angeles thinks they're a DJ because they know how to plug headphones into an iPod that's plugged into an Apple. Everybody in LA thinks that they're a DJ because they know how to plug headphones into an iPod that's plugged into an Apple. Everybody in LA thinks that they're a mixologist because they took one of those weird online bartending classes. Everybody in Los Angeles thinks that they are all of these things because we all have to be jacks

of multiple trades. Guess what? Nobody should be paying for any of this shit more than like $20 a drink. The end. I think she could have gotten away with saying for a friend rate 1500 and for like a business rate 2000 i think 5000 for max max yes 5000 is ridiculous you know what you should do is say okay i'm gonna charge this much per hour let's say you'll charge a hundred dollars per hour which i think for you know

creating something whatever you could probably that's, that's not just showing up. That's showing up and doing something. Yeah. Cause you're, you gotta, you gotta do your groceries and all that. And you gotta try different things out and you gotta buy your supplies. I think a hundred dollars per hour is a reasonable sort of freelancing rate, you know, et cetera. Um, not for writing an article for, for newspaper, but for anything else in the world. Yes. But, um, $5,000, that's ridiculous. I, I, I thought that was, that was, I understood what Lindsay was saying that this girl, Jessica was kind of like, well, just come up with something, just do it. You know? And Lindsay's like, you can't just say that. But that being said, her price was way too high. Well, well and yes you can just come up with

something i'm sorry but like yeah throw some cucumber and some mint and you know some simple syrup and some grapefruit juice and shake it on the rocks and then put a little thing of quantro on top and call it the mandelker and oh everyone thinks you're the talk of the town exactly you know what you go into any really good bar in la orA. or like New York City or San Francisco or Portland or wherever. You go into any good bar and you tell a bartender, I'm feeling like, you know, I want something that's like refreshing and interesting. Make me something cool like that. They will sit there. They'll go like this for 30 seconds, 45 seconds, and they will create something on the spot.

Okay. Now I've been to, there's, there's a bar in LA called the library bar in the Roosevelt hotel. And the, the bartender there was named Matt beyond Kello beyond Kielo, whatever. And he was, he's a genius. He's an absolute genius. He throws together stuff, metal bushes or whatever. And he does, and he will do it. If you just ask him, I want some of this and some of does and he will do it if you just ask him i want some of this and some of this he will create something and i'll put it and i'll say how was it etc on the fly now this guy does get paid a lot of money now to consult for different places because he's a proven entity and he's great at it but the point is this but it's also like samantha

ronson like is she that good of a fucking d fucking DJ? Or was she the first person to market herself properly, and now she's off making a fortune for fucking spinning an iPod? Well, she is a case of someone who is perhaps overhyped. But Matt Bianchello, he actually has a talent. You know, he actually can make these cocktails, and therefore he can also command the money. But the point is this, though. It won't take

it this is not something that takes him like you know hours on end to think of you know maybe he'll take some time to perfect it but if you if the point is you can create these cocktails on a whim very quickly at least to get going and if you're if you're an unproven entity like this lindsey girl who you know i think she works at harvard, which is legit, but she doesn't have a name like Matt Bianchiello. She can't be charging $5,000. Are you getting a check for $5,000 for every time you say Matt Bianchiello? Probably not because I think I'm saying his name wrong. Oh, okay.

Well, therefore, you forfeited all of the money you should be earning. I forfeited to Fugu Burger. They can use all of the help that they can get. Can we talk about the sad, tall, blonde girl that wants to get laid? Yeah, she's just sad. You know what? Have you noticed, though,

the best scenes are the ones where Brenda's around? Have you noticed that? Yes, I will give her that, but she's just awkward. Well, I agree. give i will give her that but she's just awkward well i agree but what were the two most fun scenes what were the two best scenes of the episode it was when there was a group dinner and um and lindsey and jessica got into it because uh lindsey was making fun of the glitter and all the crafty things and then jessica was like oh by the way uh we won't be using your services your five thousand dollars and then lindsey's like that i can't believe that quoted my quoted my quote quoted my quote from

all these girls um hello you're on a reality tv show and you announced the world um but notice brenda was there for that scene and then the other scene was when brenda told cat odell that she's basically a slut again well nobody needs to tell cat or nobody needs to tell cat odell that she's a slut because bravo has it in their mind the producers and the editors the editors of this show have something against cat odell where they have decided to make her look like the biggest hoe bag on bravo And I think it is so hilarious. I know I'm getting sick of the way she's always saying hi. Like anytime a waiter comes,

a waiter comes, she's like, hi, how are you? She is the epitome of fake. I mean, completely inauthentic. She is one of those girls that will just be nice

to your face and forget you or talk shit behind your back. She is such a fucking LA chick. It makes me nuts. She's like, I put this ice shop on the map. I've read about it. I put it on the map. I'm like, I still haven't heard about

that place. Well, and by the way, if you've read any of her reviews, which I know you have, guess what? Not award-winning work at all. They're not even reviews. It's like just because a PR person sends you a press release and you publish it and then people hear about it, I mean, that does not make you like some wonderful finder of cuisine in Los Angeles. It just means you put a press release on the site. Well, it also means in her case that she slept with the owner and she wanted some free meals. That's what that means. Because when it

comes to Kat O'Dell, you know you get a good review if she does you right. And by do you right, I mean she did you right. She did you right. She did you right. Yeah, I mean, she's like, why would people think I'm a slut? I haven't even slept with that many people. And then they do like a montage. Because anybody that talks like that is a slut. Yeah, and then they do the montage and we'll be like, well, we sort of have a thing.

And, oh, he kind of has a thing for me. And we sort of have, like, I was calling Chris Crary. I don't know. I sort of have a thing for him, too of has a thing for me and we sort of had like i was calling chris clary and i don't know i sort of have a thing for him too i'm sort of dating five guys at once like that's why cat that's why people think this of you and brenda i love brenda dropping her truth bomb she's like can i be honest with you don't be mad but everyone thinks you're a slut who sleeps with everyone you write about. Don't be mad. The most passive aggressive way to drop the news. It's great. I love when somebody prefaces something so awful that way.

I know. Don't be mad, but. Yeah. Oh, well. Well, I think the show does not have. I think it's. Here's my problem with the show. It's best when the women are being catty and passive-aggressive to each other, like gallery girls.

And it's worse when it's trying to be sincere and almost like the Hills. And you've got to stay away from the reminiscing on engagements lost and romance in Lolas. And you've got to focus basically on Brenda and Kat. And now Lindsay, this Lindsay girl. focus basically on Brenda and Kat and now Lindsay, this Lindsay girl. Well, I don't think that we're going to have too many more episodes of this because I feel like we're already at least halfway through the season

but don't next week, don't they go like on some crazy girls like getaway, which is you know, that's just guaranteed to cause drama. They are and you know, as we all know, the crazy girl getaway always signifies that the end of the season is near.

Right. It's usually the penultimate episode, which means there's going to be some ladies getting topless in a swimming pool and screaming at each other and flirting rabidly with any penis that walks into the room, whether he be a plumber a la Sonya or a bartender a la Sonya. I think we're going to have two episodes after the trip. That's the way it goes. You have one episode to deal with the aftermath and one episode to tie up the season. I think that's what we're looking for, which is perfect because then it'll be seven episodes total. And at that point, we will not

be getting a reunion based on the ratings for this show, nor do I think that these uh cast of characters will even be invited on watch what happens live with andy cohen because i don't think that bravo well i think bravo realizes that nobody really gives a shit yeah and you know by the way if i were on one of these struggling shows or if i were a producer i would be pissed because you know one way that you could drum up interest is by having cast members on Watch What Happens. Like Bravo has its own publicity machine ready to go.

And they just they still don't give any love to their people on their smaller shows. You know what is so weird? When you said that, I thought you were actually saying they are so dumb for not contacting us to be on Watch What Crappens so that they can talk to our fan base about their struggling shows. You would think they would do that too, but I don't think we're going to be invited on Watch What Happens anytime soon. No, no, no. I didn't mean that we should be on Watch What Happens, even though we should. I meant like, why doesn't Bravo's PR people offer up these cast members of these shows that are struggling in the ratings to people like us who could actually maybe do something for them. I know.

And by do something for them, I mean I would love to have Kat O'Dell on this podcast to defend her sluttiness live on camera with us. I mean, how fun would that be? Well, I can email her. No, don't. I hate her. Right? I feel like I don't want to email her. I don't know.

I feel like it's not worth it. You know what would happen, Ben? This is what would happen. You would invite her. She would come on the podcast. I would kiss her ass and be all nice to her the way I was to Jill Zarin, and then five seconds later, I'd go back to trashing her ass. I feel like, actually, to be honest, she'd probably come on here

and be surprisingly charming and sweet, and then be like, you know what? That Kat O'Dell's alright. And then we'd be like, I'd be like Kat O'Dell. But I think, you know what, that Kat O'Dell's alright. And then he'd be like, I really like Kat O'Dell. But I think, you know what though, we could definitely get Brenda on. That's like, I guarantee we could get Brenda on. Is Brenda our top choice? Brenda's my top choice, to be honest.

If I could have anybody on, I would... I've been into Brenda since the first episode. Brenda is my favorite. I would rather just have Chantal from Gallery Girls. That's the dream. We should, I mean, some of those Gallery Girls that probably don't have jobs right now

or they're working for free like Maggie at a horrible gallery where they're not paid to count rocks. We should have hired one of them to like recap or be part of, you know, watch what crap is this summer and um i don't know i just feel like we need a former cast member from one of these shows to watch along with us to come onto the show every once in a while and and kind of give us their two cents what if we staged the gallery girls reunion that the show always deserved we just reach out to all the girls and say listen come on our Google Hangout

and we're going to have a Gallery Girls reunion. We'll get Angela. We'll get Chantal. We'll get Maggie. We'll get Liz. We'll get Liz. We'll get that boring girl from Long Island. We'll get, and we'll get,

who's Chantal's end of century pal? What was her name again? Can we get Chantal's gay boyfriend? Chantal's gay boyfriend and Angela's gay buddy, the one who goes, girl. Girl. Girl. If you don't know what I'm talking about,

look it up on YouTube. Girl. Maybe we really should give the show a proper treat or a proper send-off that way, because Bravo just buried it in the rubble, whereas maybe we should do that one year since. I guarantee that we could probably get it, especially if we have Maggie's help. We could definitely get a Gallery Girls reunion on Watch What Happens.

Maybe we should host Watch What Happens. Maybe we should just host Watch What Crappens from Art Basel. I can't have another year without Art Basel on my TV screen. Oh my god. There's so many things that want to happen right now. My brain is now thinking of the possibilities. If we could get all the

Gallery Girls in one place, that would be so utterly amazing. You know what would be so utterly amazing. You know, it would be awesome if we could get each gallery girl to draw a picture of one of their co-stars and then put them all up in a gallery. A gallery of girls. Like how would Matt, how would Maggie draw Liz?

Oh, and how would Liz draw Amy? And how would, how would Chantal draw anybody? Cause she's so drunk on wine that is not from Oregon? Not from Portland. Not from Oregon. I really wish I could remember that other girl's name. Chantal and...

Chantal and... The sad one with the long hair whose parents gave them the startup money. Maybe someone who's watching right now could let us know, except no one's watching us right now because we recorded at a... Oh, wait, no. Emmy. Emmy is watching. Emmy, come to the rescue, girl. Emmy and Catherine. Catherine Edmonds and Emmy are watching. And Emmy says,

pull a Jimmy Fallon and let's have a GG reunion. Emmy will show up for sure. LOL. Yeah, I think so. And I gotta look up... You you know so i'm looking at was it angela no no angela was the asian girl who took off all her clothes with her little boobies yeah exactly well we'll have to we'll have to wait to find out who the other um claudia claudia was the other one. Ugh, she's so pathetic.

All right. Wait, Claudia, if you're listening, we'd still love to have you on this podcast. I love all the Gallery Girls equally. But no, Amy holds a special place in our hearts. They all... I don't even know where to begin. They are like the Avengers of women, you know? They each have a special power. And when they all come together, they can stop the aliens from invading New York City.

Right. I mean, when they all come together, that is a billion-dollar box office hit. Absolutely. Like, they, alone, they can do a lot of things. But together, you need them to come together to save the world. Like the mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The gallery girls. They are our leaders. All right. Well, I think that.

Let's wrap it up. Yes. Let's wrap this up. Um, so anyway, um, come visit us on Facebook. Facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens. Come join the fun. Yes, Matt. Oh, Ben, I know you wanted to end this early because it's so late on the East Coast. Go ahead. Two things.

Yes. This season of Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis is freaking fantastic. And he had an episode last week with two lesbians that lived in the outskirts of Los Angeles and it was awesome. And one lesbian proposed to the other lesbian and it was really sad and cute and I loved it. And then there was one this week where the girl reminded me of Amanda from Big Brother and then she had a hot husband and she was mean to him. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's all I had to say. I'm still watching all the Jeff Lewis shows, people.

I should write about it on Facebook, and if you're still watching Jeff Lewis shows, let me know because I would love to talk to you about it. And I'm also watching Million Dollar List in Los Angeles, but I think that I'm probably alone there too, right? No, I started watching some of it before I left for New York, and I'm personally watching Top Chef Masters, which I love, actually. I love for New York. And I'm, I'm personally watching top chef masters, which I love. Actually, I love top chef masters.

So if you want to talk about that, find me on Facebook, facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends. I'm also at B side blog on Twitter and Instagram and vine. Matt is at life on the M list on Twitter, Instagram, and vine. And Ronnie is at trash tweet TV on Twitter. And you can trash. And Ronnie is at TrashTweetTV on Twitter.

And you can find him there. TrashTalkTV. He's TrashTweetTV. Listen, I'm only going to hype up his Twitter until he gets a consistency with all his handles. So TrashTweetTV. And from there, you can find out where he is on all his other platforms. I like it.

Stop wagging your finger in my face like you're Frederick. Sorry. I have a lot of things to say. And then subscribe to this YouTube channel, youtube.com forward slash the TV click, C-L-I-Q-U-E. This way you can watch the podcast instead of just listening to it. But if you are to listen to it, go to iTunes and subscribe there and leave a comment. Why don't you for five stars,

huh? Um, and, uh, gosh, we'll be back next week with more fun and exciting things. And there was something else I was going to push. Go daddy.com.

Sign up with the crappins. You use your promo code crappins and you get a domain for $2. Don't forget that. It's a steal, people. We need some GoDaddy signups. It really is a steal. We may be pushing it, but it doesn't mean it's a bad deal. It's a great deal.

So I think on that note, on that note of frugality, we say adieu. Bye, everyone. Bye, everybody. Bye-byeugality, we say adieu. Bye, everyone. Bye, everybody. Bye-bye. No, I say bye. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It.

It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger, Slicing Driving Friends With It For 10 Years, one of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here.

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