Watch What Crappens - #93: Tamra's White Trash Wedding & Fake Pennies

Episode Date: September 11, 2013

This week, Matt Whitfield (Yahoo) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) make fun of Tamra's inability to play nice, Real Housewives of New Jersey's lame attempts to draw out their fambly dramz, and Real Housewives of Miami's need for violence. Chat with us live during the show on our facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens These are live on Tues at 430 Pacific. We also do a Big Brother Podcast live on Thurs nights at 7:30 Pacific here on our Youtube page: http://www.youtube.com/thetvclique For Big Brother Video Speed Recaps join Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee For hilarious tomato drama, join Ben on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/bsideblog Matt on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lifeonthemlist and twitter http://www.twitter.com/lifeonthemlist Ronnie on Instagram: http:www.instagram.com/trashtalktv and twitter: http://www.twitter.com/trashtweettv Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog and twitter http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Our Sites: http://www.bsideblog.com http://www.trashtalktv.com http://www.yahoo.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all the crap we love to talk about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karen from Trash Talk TV, and I'm with Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. Hello, Matthew. Hey, Ronnie. You might notice that Ben Mandelker is missing today. That little bitch is celebrating Jewishness. So yay, Jewishness.

Hey, the two of you have been MIA for the past few weeks, so don't be pointing any fingers at me and posting on the Facebook page shit about, oh, well, Matt can't make this or Matt can't make that. I haven't been on vacation in months. You guys have been on vacations. Yeah, but I mean, you miss a lot of things.

Like that thing, yesterday we did this video weird after show. Oh, shit. I can hear myself. Hold on, let me turn this off. Oh, God, I hate myself. Sorry, I had the YouTube player window open so I could read comments on YouTube and I heard

my nasal last voice like, Hi, everybody, and welcome to the Bravo Show. So anyway, yesterday we did this group after show chat thing with Leah Black and Karen Sierra and Lance Bass and his hot boyfriend whose name is Turkey. I mean, what the hell? Whose name is Turkey? Anyway, he was really hot. You couldn't come to that, and someone posted on our Facebook

that you seem to always miss Leah events, which is true. It is true. I don't know. I think that I don't know. I liked Leah when I met her in person at work, but sometimes I feel like when you guys do the special stuff,

I feel like, I don't know, you'd rather have the special people than me and I'm feeling less than. Oh, you need some attention? I'm an only child. I mean, when I'm not the star of the show, it really starts to bother me, and when Lance Bass starts to upstage me, it's a serious problem. Well, Lance Bass doesn't really upstage. Like, he's very soft-spoken. He just sits there and looks pretty for the most part and then talks about his projects. I'm like, you know that there are 60 people listening to this, right? Like, it's not going to help the ratings for your e-show, but thanks.

Does he have an e-show? Because I never even knew that. Yeah, and he's a TV producer now. He's producing all these different TV shows. He's going to be, like, the next Ryan Seacrest, you guys. Good for him. Yeah, so he's cute, but whatever. Enough about him.

His boyfriend was fine. So anyway, that was yesterday. You can find that Yeah, so he's cute, but whatever. Enough about him. His boyfriend was fine. So anyway, that was yesterday. You can find that as posted on our Facebook page, which is facebook.com slash watch what crappens. You can find us on Twitter and tweet us questions while we do these live at what crappens on Twitter. You can find me at

trashtalktv.com. You can find me on YouTube for all my parody videos at YouTube.com slash TrashTalkTV, but TV is spelled T-E-E-V-E-E, and on Instagram, Instagram.com slash TrashTalkTV, and Matt's much easier to announce because he is life on the M list

everywhere. Instagrams, well, you're not on YouTube, but Twitter, Facebook. I'm on the Twitter, and I'm on the Instagram. I'm on the Twitter, and I'm on the Instagram. I'm on the Vine, but I'm giving up on Vine and Pinterest, but I've been saying that for weeks, so I'm done. Don't look for me there.

Pinterest is for moms who like shopping for crafty things. I don't even know why I'm on there. I mean, I secretly want to quit my job and just become a full-time scrapbooker, but I don't see that happening in the near future because I don't think that scrapbooking pays the bills unless you live in the Midwest. Not your kind of bills. They would pay my kind

of bills, possibly, if I had that kind of creativity. Which I don't. Are you suggesting that I'm a fancy lady? Yes. I've seen your cars and your homes and your beaches. There are not multiple. There are not multiple. And your little boys spread out all over the internet in love with you. And your money, and your bags.

Oh, see, see, and nerve hit. And nerve hit. Okay, so let's start, let's start talking about some, I'm trying to refresh the Facebook I have so much, I have so much gossip. I got a lot of gossip, but before

we get into gossip, you guys, thank you for tuning in. We really do appreciate it. Thank you for participating on the Facebook page and for the comments on iTunes, where we love a good five-star review. We will get to The Real Housewives of Miami, The Real Housewives of

New Jersey, Tamara's OC Wedding, which makes me want to kill myself, and a few of the other Bravo shows that we're watching right now. But before that, we haven't done a really good juicy gossip session in a while, and I have a lot of bullet points to bring up. Good.

Okay. Let's start with Apollo getting into a fight with one of Kenya Moore's assistants while they were filming this season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. First of all, where did this come from on our page? Because I saw this on our page, but now I'm getting confused

because I think this was from last year. Wasn't this the fight that they had last year about Donkey Booty or whatever, and Apollo went after that guy? I think that's a really old story because there's another story posted about Real Housewives of DC filming with a new housewife that was posted a year ago.

Michael Cook, stop posting stories from a year ago. You're confusing us. You're doing it on purpose. He's going to start some new podcast and be like, those bitches are always talking about old shit on that one. Yeah, because you keep posting old shit. Stop it. Look at the date. Let me break something down for you, Ronnie. Even if we were talking about

Bravo crap from four years ago, people would still tune in to us over some other bullshit. And also, it would probably still be true. Because probably this season, that assistant... I mean, Apollo's a little man with a tiny voice, and he likes to hit people, because he's tiny.

And he's a former felon. And once a felon, always a felon. That's what I say. Nobody gets a second chance in my house. Okay, so what else? Let's move on from that because I think that was from last year. Did you see the hilarious slash terrifying photo

of the Bellino family? They went on a family Disney cruise. Now, let me just say this. They already scare me. I am scared of boats. I am scared of cruises. I am claustrophobic. I am scared of buffets. I am scared of people that like to eat at buffets. And I am scared of sharks

in the water. This could not be more of a nightmare for me. Being trapped on a cruise liner with the Bellino family. Nightmare. Nightmare of nightmares. Well, Leah could be there talking over you. Making you feel less special.

I would take that over Ben talking over me on one of these podcasts. Don't say that. Ben listens to these. I was not picking. I was just making sure because I didn't do a groom check before we started this. And also, how classy they were in my kitchen. Isn't that nice? At least I cleaned it, kind of.

But I did not see that cruise. But yeah, that is pretty terrifying, and it kind of makes me root for sharks, or orcas, to just come up and eat them. It makes me root for icebergs. Yeah, well, I did not see that they went on a cruise. Glad for them that they found a Groupon for that. But I did see, I'm just trying to pull it up here.

You guys, the Internet is hard, you guys. Do you think they did one of those, like, hey, we'll give you 50 free passes to Sky Zone if you give us five free passes to Carnival Cruise Disneyland? No, I think they were like, we're on Bravo, and we'll totally make your whole cruise line, to Carnival Cruise Disneyland. No, I think they were like, we're on Bravo, and we'll totally make your whole cruise line, we'll make everybody forget about the E. coli you gave the world on your last cruise.

Okay, so this is, well, this is stretched out, but can you see it? I can see it. I can see that. I can see those knockers loud and clear. So thank you guys for posting that on our Facebook. That is Alexis Bellino

in her Groupon for 60 minute jump passes or birthday party for 10 at Sky Zone San Diego. So it's $15 to jump on the damn trampoline for an hour. I'm not going to lie, Ronnie. I really, really, really want to go do this.

You do? Yeah, I'm really excited and I think it looks like a lot of fun. I'm too out of shape for that. If I jump, everything hurts and I feel my heart in my butt. Well, I don't know. There will be no jumping.

I'll watch you on the side with a martini tone. Is that your fetish? Boys jumping up and down in gym shorts? No, I don't like boys moving around. I like them just still, just laying there still. Not making any effort

for anything. Okay, so here's one. We have to get through these things. Okay, well, this is about the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and it comes from all about The Real Housewives. And it's saying the season finale of New Jersey will be edited to look different than what actually happened.

I guess to make Teresa looks better? I mean, you know that they are starting production early on the new season because of Teresa's legal problems, so I think that they're trying to make the seasons look like they're rolling right into each other. Well, this is basically saying they're pulling out a lot of the Penny parts, because apparently Penny goes crazy

and calls Caroline an old hag and does all, you know, does her big housewives audition, and I guess they're cutting that out, because instead of fighting, now we're about making up and taking care of Teresa's children while she's in jail. Well, someone's gonna have to, and it better be her Bravo family who has dragged her through the mud and exposed her, you know, horribleness for the past five or six years.

So, I mean, sorry, but Andy Cohen and the people at NBC Networks are responsible for all of this. Oh, wow, poor Teresa. That bitch forged her own checks. That girl was spending her own cash that she wasn't paying tax for. And she said she was a secretary. She deserves to go to jail. And I deserve to get to see it on TV.

So I hope they figure out a way to get cameras in there. Oh, there's no doubt. There's no doubt. So another thing, Matt, you brought up earlier that I've been thinking of too is what about Ashley from Princesses? Because she had a stroke, and then we all felt guilty and we couldn't talk about her anymore and I looked at her in the news

and I couldn't find anything. So I went to the best the second best news source in the world Twitter. Which is the first one being Wikipedia, correct? Yeah. No, the first one being our Facebook page. Oh, I forgot. Okay, so the third best is Twitter. And is Ashley,

like, when you've had a stroke, are you still able to tweet? Or does she have, like, does her dad tweet for her? Because clearly he does everything else for her. She might be paralyzed from, she might be paralyzed in the knees or something, but her fingers still work. That bitch is tweeting.

And it's all the, like, hey, Matt Dillon. Hi, Aviva Drescher. Hi bitch is tweeting. And it's all the like, hey Matt Dillon, hi Aviva Drescher, hi OK Magazine. Jesus. Calm down over there. I don't even know why that's news. I just wanted you guys to know that the bitch is still alive. You can stop feeling sorry for her because she's

tweeting. Okay. So stop feeling bad for Ashley. Alright? Do you feel bad for Reza, who was in court this week and called a judge a motherfucker? What? Yeah, he was in court this week for, I think, some kind of traffic violation,

maybe driving with a suspended license or not having a proper driver's license or something of that sort, and in the courtroom in LA this week, he called the judge a motherfucker. Oh my god. Well, it takes a lot to get in trouble in an LA courtroom. The judge was probably like, ah, it's okay.

Well, actually, the judge really was just like, sit down and shut up. They didn't really do that much to Reza, but I was kind of like, who does this diva bitch think he is? Reza. He thinks he's Reza from a Bravo show. They take themselves very seriously on those shows.

Oh, I'm dying. So, he called someone a motherfucker and got away with it. You know who wouldn't stand for that? Who? Judge motherfucking Judy. Yeah, she wouldn't. She'd be like, in fact, I saw pictures of you when you

were... Except she wouldn't lisp like that. She'd're fat! I saw pictures of you when you were... Except she wouldn't lisp like that. She'd be like, I saw pictures of you when you were thin and gorgeous. Now you're fat and bitter. Fix it! Fix it! Fix it! Sidebar, I'm thinking about going as Judge Judy for Halloween. How do we feel about that? I don't believe that you're ever going to

do it because you're too obsessed with how cute you are. Judge Judy is cute, right? Judge Judy wears a robe. You'll wear a skin-tight spandex thing with maybe a collar on it and call yourself a judge. You'll be like one of those girls who's like,

a slutty Ursula the Sea Witch, but instead of being a fat, gross octopus, she has her boobs pushed up to here and is all skinny. Why is that? All of the girls Halloween costumes that you can buy in a bag are like, you know, instead of like an ugly like pirate sea wench, it's like

sexy pirate wench. It's like sexy fat kitty. Because they all want to get laid on Halloween, and it's like, it's so funny because the guys are as gross as possible. It's like, this girl's wearing a thong so she can get fucked by the guy with, like,

brains coming out of his nose. Aim higher, girls. Aim higher, aim higher. Okay, um, let's talk about, okay, this is really sad, and we're going to get to Miami and Tamara here in a second, but you mentioned this right before we went live, but Tamara's OC wedding, which I think is horrifying on every level, is bringing in much bigger ratings

than the Real Housewives of Miami. Last week, Ben and I were singing the praises of Miami. We love this show. The three of us are, like, three of the biggest fans of this franchise. Why is nobody tuning into that show? I think that show, they just start over too much, you know? I mean, they just, they don't stop starting over, it's like, it's not season one, it's season three, okay?

You've changed a cast every year and this year it's like, they've pared down the cast, but you cut out the people who caused all the drama from last year I mean, Karen Sierra, that bitch might be crazy, but she brought the drums, and what's her buttons? What's the other one they cut out? The homely one?

Anna. Yeah, they cut... Sorry, Anna. I meant the home cook. They cut her out. I mean, she's the one who's always yelling at everybody and going after one. Now you've only got Adriana, and she's so crazy that it's like you don't... You can't really hang on to anything she says. And then Leah, who's not

going to fight with anybody. I mean, every episode Leah's just like, look at my diamonds! Look at my house! Look at my car! Look at my hotel! Look at Samaritans! No, it's like she's not going to fight with anybody. I think that we're also suffering from a serious lack of Mama Elsa. I'm sorry, like Mary Saul

actually is getting more screen time this season as not even a full-time cast member, but without Mama Elsa in the mix, I really kind of don't care. Yeah, I know. It's like I said before, you could put a camera on Mama Elsa with a breathing machine on her dying in the hospital and it would still be more

entertaining than her sick god. Yeah, I would pay $25 a month for that like the Big Brother live feeds. I'm sorry, just Mama Elsa in the hospital. I'm there. You wouldn't even need to have cute male nurses, but that would be a smart idea, Bravo. My pan is full.

My soul empty my pan. Okay, Danielle Staub returning to Bravo. She was on Watch What Happens Live this week. Did you see it? I did, and I think it's hilarious that she's on Bravo to promote nothing. She's on Bravo to promote some random, untitled reality show about her.

Who wants to see a reality show about her again? Didn't they put up that show about her, about trying to run a reality show about her again? Didn't they put up that show about her about trying to run a restaurant with Mike Boogie that failed miserably? Why are they still trying? Okay, you're going to maybe think I'm crazy, but I think that people out there realize, you know, fans

of our podcast, fans of Bravo, fans of Jersey, I'm no longer considering myself even a fan of Jersey because I think that this season is just horrible and boring and I think that we're running around in circles. I actually think that Bravo is considering bringing Danielle Staub back for the next

season of Jersey. Ugh. God. She, the thing with Danielle Staub is, or Staub as I learned it was pronounced last night. Danielle Staub, the thing that really pisses me off about this woman is she's not even funny.

Like, if she was fun and catty and bitchy, it would be fun, but she just... She's crazy and awkward. Like, she's just really awkward. Yeah, like, he had this section on the show where he's like, okay, here's what the other housewives are saying about you.

And he's like, Caroline said that one of the biggest things she regrets in her time on the show was when she called you a clown. What do you have to say about that? And she's like, oh, that? That's what you regret? No comment. Really? That's all?

Like, every answer was something like that. It was like, no comment. She's stupid. Dumb. Could you make this a full sentence, please? Make an effort to add some information. That's more of a sentence than Teresa could string together, so you have to give her some credit.

Well, Teresa, like, does that crazy blank thing and lies, which I think is really entertaining. If you're like, Teresa, why did you call Danielle? You know, why did you flip a table? She'd be like, well, you know, I didn't, there was a, you know, I mean, I don't know, who cares? What, what, what? People get so distracted by the eye fluttering that I think that they give her like a free pass

because they're like, what is she talking about? Next topic. Yeah, it's like when you see that little spinning wheel on the computer when it's just trying to think about stuff. Okay, I got a few more bullets here to discuss with you quickly. The Candy Factory... I need to shave. I want to wear it on my face.

I actually think it looks good. Don't shave. It looks really good. It does? Someone on Instagram said I have weird facial hair. Thanks a lot, Jerks. And they also threatened to kill me. Someone on Instagram said I have weird facial hair. Thanks a lot, Jerks. And they also threatened to kill me. Who on Instagram? Mention their handle right now.

I'll send out an army to murder them. No, they have an army too, and they're scary. Because Ben put this thing on Instagram that was so funny of this guy in the gym lifting, you know, he was like a meathead, and he was lifting something. And whenever he dropped it, he would go, I'm forgetting the whole story. I wasn't planning on telling this,

but I think he said, Optimum! And he would drop it and be like, Yeah, Optimum! Yeah, Optimum! And he tagged it Douchebag or something like that. Meathead Douchebag. So all these meatheads and douchebags came onto his Instagram calling him Faggot because they knew the guy.

Because, of course, Ben tags it, like, so well. He's so good at this social media crap. So they found the guy, like, in two seconds. So him and all his meathead friends were on there calling Ben a faggot. And so I just said something like, LOL, that the meatheads are smart enough to find their tags and find themselves on Instagram. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. Oh, my God. Then they started coming onto my Instagram and saying that I would look better in a body bag,

and they're going to murder me, and, like, I'm a stupid faggot with weird facial hair, and not everybody can be a fat bastard and all this stuff. And I was like, whoa. I fight with my brain. I'm not going to be killed. Now you're really angering me, and I want to murder some people. I'm going to defend you. I will fight for you and Ben.

It was a long time ago. It was like a couple weeks ago, but I was like, yeah, be nice on the internet because people can kill you. Yeah, and that goes for you guys on our Facebook page, too. Play nice. Thanks, XO. Yeah, don't kill us.

Don't kill us. Matt can kill you back. No, everyone's nice on our Facebook page. So what else? Why did I start talking about Instagram and meatheads and faggots? I don't know, but I'm going to change the topic and talk about the Candy Factory, and Bravo actually canceled this show, and I'm not surprised because it was a piece of shit,

and I don't believe that Candy Burris can hold up her own show. I just... I don't think many of these women can actually hold up their own shows and we'll get to Tamara in a second here but Candy Factory, R.I.P. or Who Gives a Shit? Who Gives a Shit? That show's terrible.

And I love shows about poor people trying to make something of themselves and then getting their dreams crushed by really cheap heels. But I couldn't even think that show. terrible and I love shows about poor people trying to make something of themselves and then getting their dreams crushed by like really cheap heels but I couldn't even think that show they're like and they all had to have some weird story to it like that show like you couldn't just be like

I'm a country singer and I'm gonna sing about love it had to be like I'm a country singer and one time I was in the hot tub with my iPhone and it electrocuted my ear and it caused my ear to stop growing hair right here on the rim and now my ears are always freezing cold and I could die of brain cancer. Eww, you're killing me slowly with brain cancer. It's like, could you just sing the fucking song? And nobody can sing on key. That show is terrible.

Well that's the problem with all of these reality singing shows. They all have to have some sob story that I don't give a shit about. And that just makes me miss one of the best Bravo shows ever, one of the best one-and-done seasons, Platinum Hits starring Snaggletooth Jewel. Goddamn, I miss that goddamn show. Walk through walls! I still remember one of the songs from that show.

That's how sad I am. It was a good show. And that was also like a bunch of losers you just kind of didn't want to ever see succeed. And by the end of the show, that girl won. And you're like, yay, because she's kind of a bitch and I know that nothing's ever going to happen. So yay for her, for being a loser on national TV.

Speaking of losers, the little quote that I have on my Instagram profile page is a lyric from one of the songs that was used on Platinum Hit for all of you insiders. Oh God, just tell me

it's not one of those Jackie Tone songs. It is one of those Jackie Tone songs. Okay, what is it? Well, it's one of of those Jackie Tone songs. It is one of those Jackie Tone songs. Okay, what is it? Well, it's one of Jackie's raps from one of the songs, but it's My Ridiculous It Is Meticulous from, I believe, the song I Love L.A., which I may listen to on my iPod on repeat at all times. Actually, I remember that episode.

They had to write different songs about L.A. They were all really stupid. That's hilarious that you can still pull that stuff up. And that's what you get for listening to a Bravo podcast. It is meticulous. I mean, I can't, well, I'm not even going to go into the whole thing, but Jackie Tone and I, like, Jackie Tone is my spirit animal. Like, we have this bond.

We love high-top shoes, and we love white girls who can rap. That's hilarious. Okay, we have this bond. We love high-top shoes, and we love white girls who can rap. That's hilarious. Okay, what other gossip do you have? Vicky is being sued again by her Vicky's Vodka partner. Vicky and Brooks are being sued for yet another some sort of lawsuit. I mean, when is Vicky going to realize that, you know, all she's good at is selling insurance and being rude to Lori Waring. She should just stop with the other ventures.

Wines by Wives, no. The Bloody Piggy, no. Sleeping with Brooks, no. Yeah, but what is the deal? What's she being sued for? What'd she do? I don't know. I just saw that she was being sued. And then I said, I don't care anymore.

Yeah, that guy that she's in business with is not taking any kind of crap. He sees them like every other week. Do you think that these people, though, that get into business with the housewives do it because they know that they can eventually, you know, maybe potentially make more money off of a lawsuit than an actual product that gets out into the marketplace? Because I'm convinced anybody that wants to work with these women is really out for the jugular, and these women really need to protect themselves. Yeah, I mean, I guess that they can make money

in settlement, but how much money do they actually have? I mean, it's not like these are real TV stars. I mean, if you look at it, NeNe gets, what, a million dollars now for a season of Housewives, is that right? Plus bonuses, yeah. They all have incentives built in.

So it's like if you pull out her weave, you get an extra 50 Gs. Really? Oh, 100%. 100%. Tamara actually kind of admitted to it when she was on Watch What Happens a few months ago, and she was kind of like,

they pay me a lot of money to act bad. And it's true. It's like I'm sure if Teresa and Melissa get into a screaming match, or if Kenya does the twirl, like, there are built-in incentives to each one of these women's contracts. But anyway, the point is this. Nene is, yes, over one million per season.

Okay, well, think about Friends. That was over a decade ago, right? Yes. Like, way over a decade ago, I think. 1994 to 2004. So they were, so about a decade ago. So they were like the number one show on TV granted. I mean, it's very different. But still, like a million dollars an episode

way back then. Or if you think back, or if you think now on sitcoms, like how much are they making now on a sitcom? Well, I mean, it depends. Big money. We're talking about Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men. He's pulling in about $650,000 an episode, but then you have people that are, you know,

like a side character on the Mindy Project who's maybe making $25,000 an episode, so the range is spectacular. Yeah, but anyway, I guess my point is even the richest of all the housewives isn't really making that much if you add it all up. Like, I know a million dollars a year sounds like so much money to poor people like me,

but at the end end it's not. The government gets half. Whoever's suing your ass gets 25%. I mean, Meany was buying used cars like two years ago. She doesn't have that much money. Vicky still can't pay for that house. She said her electricity bill loan for that house is like $1,000 a month. So I don't know.

I think people, they shouldn't target housewives. They should target richer people. If you need money and you want to sue somebody, find a reason to sue Sandra Bullock, not fucking Vicky. I actually think that I would say some of the cast members, I would say Adrian Maloof has more money

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what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History Rosa Parks Reconstruction MLK February Black History Month exactly exactly there are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights.

She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Black is beautiful. Well, yeah, Adrian Maloof. Well, yeah, Adrian Maloof. Well, yeah, Sandra Bullock's dad was fucking making kazillions of dollars years ago that he handed to Sandra Bullock and she never had to do anything for it.

Okay. Yeah, sue Adrian Maloof. Yeah, but she didn't make her money off being a housewife. She made it off being born to somebody wealthy. You know who should never be sued? My beloved little teacup angel fairy, Kim Richards. Well, I mean,

you know that she's hit some people driving. I mean, let's just say that right now. At the very least, she's knocked over some mailboxes. I can see a multitude of reasons that that would be sued. And by mailboxes, you mean gardeners. I have envelopes in their mouth.

I thought they were in mailboxes. Okay, so what's going on with this whole mental health drama that is going to... So one of her kids, they don't specify in the article which kid it was, but they're saying that one of her kids was in the street, naked, babbling to herself or himself. No, she only has daughters, right? I think she has a son and three or four daughters, and I think one of the daughters' names is Kim Jr. Well, anyway, one of the kids was in the street naked babbling to herself and got immediately taken to the

psych ward, which is so sad but you know what that also sounds like? Not mental illness, it sounds like that drug everybody was doing a little while ago. Remember when that guy ate the homeless person's face? Oh, is it seeming like a little bath salty to you? Do you think like, you know,

we haven't seen bath salts for about a year and they're coming back at Bath and Body Works? Yeah, I think the bath salts are back and that people, because that's what they do. They get naked and they go talk to themselves and do crazy things while they're naked. But isn't that like a typical day in Los Angeles? I mean, I have

plenty of those people in my neighborhood. No, I mean, I feel like Los Angeles I feel like Los Angeles hot people get naked and run around the street and act crazy, but bath salts, ugly people do it. So, like, bath salts is dangerous to society because it makes homely people run around naked. Down with bath salts. Come on, Drug Enforcement Agency.

All right, let's talk about some shows. Are we done with gossip? I hope Kim's kid is okay, but. Okay, where do you want to start? Do you want to go Miami? Do you want to go Jersey? Do you want to go Jersey? Do you want to go Tamara's OC wedding? Let us talk about Tamara's OC wedding first.

Okay, you were not on Watch What Crappens last week when we discussed the premiere episode of this Tamara spinoff. Ben did not watch it. I talked about it for a few minutes. I said that I hate Tamara. Everybody knows that listens to our show how much I hate her. But I am definitely going to watch this through the end because she is such white trash.

And my question for you is, are you invested? Did you watch the first one? Did you watch the second one? Where are you at? Well, it's Tamara, who I don't like Tamara either. I used to have a fake account on Twitter just so I could bash Tamara. Okay, that's how much I don't like her. Why don't you just bash her openly? Because she deserves all of it and then some more.

I don't know, because I can't be my true evil self. Like, on this show, I'm very nice. I'm very reserved and held back. I mean, you should see what's in my real brain. I was going to say, for all of you people watching in real life, Ronnie is the devil. And you all think that he's the angel of this podcast and that I'm the devil, but off camera

it's a different story. No, I hurt babies in real life. I'm not a nice person. So I would make up this account to make fun of her. That's how much I don't like her. So, of course, I watch his show and I'm thinking, well, it'll be interesting to see if Tamara can carry his show. I mean, my God, if Tamara

doesn't have someone to bully, if she doesn't have a life in front of her to ruin, she's worthless. I mean, what the hell? Like, happy Tamara has nothing to say about anything. The only time this show even works is when she's being a horrible human

being. Well, yeah, but on the housewife she's interesting because she's always causing drama and making Alexis cry or Gretchen cry or Vicky cry or, you know, whatever. She's always making someone cry and it's kind of funny and then she's making really snide comments about everything, which is usually kind of funny. But in this, she's being nice and it's like, yeah, you have zero fucking personality.

Did you fall asleep during the second episode where she told her mother to fuck off? Well, yes, but that's what I'm saying. That's when the show gets interesting, you know, is when she finally has somebody to be mean to, like her family. And she's like, Eddie's family is not going to really like me

because of my family. They're so embarrassing. And then she tells them all, fuck you, go fuck yourselves, fuck all of you, I hate you all. Like, nice. They're so embarrassing. And then she tells them all, fuck you. Go fuck yourselves. Fuck all of you. I hate you all. Like, nice. That's nice behavior. Now, granted, her family is total white

trash, and her brother was very... Her brother, for those of you who don't watch, stood up and gave some toast. I'm not gonna quote it, but it's something like, Hey, Eddie, congratulations! You're about to buy a lemon. You're at the car place right now, and you've actually got a used car salesman telling you

that this shit's going to blow up in your face, leave you on the side of the road with all your tires flat, and you're dumb enough of an asshole to actually buy the car. So here's the paperwork, here's the keys, give me all your money, you stupid son of a bitch. And then Tamara's like, that was man. Pretty much. First of all, her brother was correct.

Totally. This will be her third marriage. We saw how she treated Simon. Don't get me wrong, Simon was an awful husband to her as well, but it's not like she is some OC angel. Did you get that, OC angels, for you diehard OC fans?

So, look, the thing is, like, her brother is white trash, he was drunk, her mother is white trash, she was drunk, everybody was drunk, and everybody was white trash except for Eddie's family, because they're not white. But,

Tamara should not call her mother, despite the fact that her mother admitted to saying, yes, we never said I love you. I do think that there is a line you cross where you tell your mother to fuck off on TV. If you want to tell your mother to fuck off in real life, that's fine. Who hasn't? But when you do it on TV,

it really just solidifies the fact that you are the worst person ever. And we already knew that about Tamara but like when you call your mom a bitch and you tell her to fuck off you're like 16 like you're not 50 come on grow up who still says fuck you to your mom but that's why

you always say this this is the reason why we love so many of the shows on Bravo it's because these women in their 40s and 50s are so immature, and we'd rather watch 40- and 50-year-old women call each other bitches and call their moms bitches than the younger women

is because it's that much more ridiculous. Yeah, that's true. It is way more sad. And Tamara's whole thing with her mom, like, look, I get that on a reality show, and especially when you're someone like Tamara who apparently has no personality at all, except for being vile to other people.

I said vile. I'm trying to stop saying vile. But anyway, I get that you have to have some kind of storyline and personality, and Tamara's thing this year to make everyone like her was, oh, I almost killed myself because no one loved me, and my mom never said I love you, and made this huge deal out of it. Her mom's like, yeah, but My mom never said I love you and made this huge deal out

of it. Her mom's like, yeah, but I mean, obviously I loved you. I took care of you. I did all this stuff. It's not like I beat you or was mean to you. And Tamara's never even said that. All she says is that they didn't say I love you in her family. But then her brother said,

well, where were you, Tamara? Because they always said that and they kissed us goodnight and they said it. And it's kind of like, okay, where were you, Tamara? Because they always said that, and they kissed us goodnight, and they said it. And it's kind of like, okay, we know that these shows are fake and everything, and that people lie constantly, but maybe Tamara made all this bullshit up. I don't put that past her, Ronnie. No, I don't either. And that's what I'm getting at. You know, you've got her mom going off, and then you get a drink into her mom,

and she's off on the side like, yeah, what did I do? I mean, I loved her and then she said on TV that I didn't give her any love. I mean, I just did the best I could. It's like, this is the wrong place. I was just cringing. And then Tamara's just looking so confused because it's like

everyone's been playing along with her bullshit storyline until today. And suddenly today, everybody decides to call it bullshit. So, that was kind of funny, and I love that Tamara's only defense is her only defense ever, which is, fuck off, you're stupid, I hate you, you're all terrible, fuck off.

Right, and then she runs into the back room and she's starting to cry, and she's telling Eddie, she's like, wait, why does everybody hate me? Um, I wonder why. I wonder why everybody hates you. Like, I don't know why... You're 100% hateable. Because you're hateable. You're 100% hateable. Because you're hateable. It's that simple. But I want to also talk about this whole show has been chock-a-block full of Real Housewives of Orange County cameos.

And this week we also saw Gretchen interact with Tamara. And again, I'm just tired of their rollercoaster relationship friendship slash completely fake bullshit. At this point, I don't care, but I think that part of me also is just exhausted by Orange County. I'm really missing New York and Beverly Hills and even Atlanta right now, so is that just me

being bitter and tired, or is the Tamra-Gretchen thing that boring at this point? Since they've expanded these seasons to be 20-something episodes per season, it is just so hard to get through the season. And then they've got three hours of a fucking

reunion show where they're yelling at each other. And then they've got a forgotten whatever episode that you have to watch. I mean, it's like it takes half a year to get through one of these shows. And then you have to watch a fucking spinoff. And then they have to have a scene with Gretchen because Tamara's so boring

that she can't even come up with something to do. So they bring that bimbo Gretchen on. And those two are obviously not even real friends. Like, they're just fake fighting for TV. Gretchen's like, why are you calling me? That part's all painful to watch.

The only stuff I like is when you get to see Tamara's creepy white trash family, her mom crying and stuff like that. How funny is it, by the way, you see the mom and she's clearly had one too many Michelob Ultras and she's wearing some cheap outfit from Target with a seafoam green scoop neck. And she's screaming at Tamara in the backyard and then they'll cut to her

in the confessional, and it's like, oh, somebody got a spray tan and a fresh outfit from Chico's, and she got her white trash, you know, hair flat iron. It's like the difference between the mom drunk in the backyard to glamorous in the confessional, it's two different women.

Well, I put this on an Instagram picture yesterday, and I stand by it. Tamara's mom is sitting there whining about how mean she is, and I say, you know what? You deserve to be miserable. You gave us Tamara, so fuck off. I will never feel sorry for you. One thing I love, Emmy is saying on our Facebook page,

the Mimi wedding show looks good to me. I'm actually excited about that. Tamara has a life to ruin now, her husband's. Amen, sister. Amen. I'm going to give you props for that one because that is very, very true, and I could not be more excited. I'm checking our Facebook really quick, so talk.

What else happened? I think that Vicky was on the show this week, and the girls got talking about, what did they call those things? I can't get married. Well, can we get married now? I'm not sure how that works. Like, it was outlawed to say that we can't get married, but can we get married now?

I think it still has to be a law that we can get married. Maybe we should ask the douchebags at the gym who love us so much. But anyway, they were talking about that's what it's called. It's called a prenuptial agreement. How dare I forget what that's called. Would you sign one or would you make somebody sign one if you had boatloads of money? What do you think about that? I think that you have to have a prenup.

Well, you're sounding like Vicky because you're saying it's because that's a smart move to make, but I am kind of like Tamara where I think if you sign a prenup, it's kind of like already predicting that you guys are going to fail. Well, most likely you are going to fail, so get a prenup. I mean, look, this is how people

get married. They're like, I love you, I want a wedding, we deserve a lot of free shit from our friends and family, let's have a preacher come over even though nobody goes to church, and let's have them read some prayers that we won't even recognize because we ain't never been to church. And then we'll get married, and we'll get

wasted with all our family looking on and take really pretty pictures, and we'll make all our bridesmaids lose weight and buy expensive dresses just to prove that they're our friends. Then we'll have this big reception, spend a shitload of our parents' money so everybody can party and we'll pick a band.

Then we'll get all this free shit for our house. And then we'll get divorced. We got a lot of free shit. Isn't that basically how it works? Who stays married? I don't know. My parents are still together after like 40 years or something crazy. My parents are and I beg them every time I'm home to

just stop with it already. Like, oh, this is what commitment means. When you're married in Christ, you're married forever. It's like, leave! Run! So if I have a big, gay, fancy wedding one day, are you not going to come and get sloppy?

I'm totally going to come. Of course I love weddings. Will you get sloppy at my open bar, and then will you serenade me with a Broadway show tune? Yes, of course. Of course I will. I would be so happy for you, and I'll totally be there. And I'm going to be there for you when he cheats on your ass near my house needing wine, too.

I'm going to need more than wine. I'm going to need some red velvet cake and some bath salts. Well, look at Eddie and Tamara. You've got Tamara, who's just a horrible human being. Eddie, who's really showing himself to be kind of a douchebag and not very patient at all. If you don't have patience, how are you going to deal with Tamara?

He's not there for very long. Plus, what else was I going to say about that? Eddie, plus he's kind of gay, obviously. Is Eddie just doing this for screen time? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Once that show is over, Eddie's over.

But Ronnie, here's the thing. He's not dynamic enough to get a spin-off or to ever... Are you being bombed at home? What is going on? I feel like it. Are you being bombed at home? What is going on? I feel like it. Are you getting bombed? I'm actually not. I'm sober. Sorry, everybody.

Look at my giant jug. It's empty. What is that? Is that like a Chinese takeout carton with a straw in it? I buy these at Smart and Final, and I drink my water out of them because I'm like a big caveman. Look at my hands. They're really big. I'm like, caveman!

I eat salads out of gigantic salad bowls. Cavemen don't eat salad. Well, I put elbows and stuff in them. Anyway, so Tamara and Eddie are clearly not going to make it

if this spinoff has proven anything, but are you going to watch through the end?inoff has, you know, proven anything, but are you going to watch through the end? I mean, I hate her, but I just, I think, like, the family is so ridiculous that I have to watch it. Well, there's only one more episode. Right, there's only one more, but, Ronnie, that 48 minutes is really tough.

Well, I don't, like, sit there and watch it. I, like, walk around and dust, or, like, talk on the phone or text or tie up my handsome little concubine. Oh, well. Do you think that is the Nini spinoff, which is

debuting very shortly, is that going to only be three episodes or is Nini, because she's a bigger Bravo star, going to get six episodes? I think she gets a lot more episodes, actually. And she's worth it, too. Nini's really good. I mean, look at her show. She actually. And she's worth it, too. Nene's really good. I mean, look at her show. She's like, she's bringing up every issue she can possibly bring up.

She's like, your children, I'm sick of your children being mean to me. It's their daddy around spreading his ding-a-ling everywhere, not me. I was like, oh, my God. Okay, so Nene is taking on. And that's another thing. I did not know Greg had, like, six children or something going into this marriage. He had, like, five or six children. I don't think that anybody realized that, which also brings another added element of fun.

And the other thing is Nini keeps going off in all of, like, the previews. I think that she's, like, had, like, 17 wedding planners, and she just keeps firing them left and right, which really gets me excited, because there's nothing I love more than a frazzled wedding planner. Thank you, TLC. NeNe's previews are better than Tamara's entire existence.

NeNe's saying, oh, I remembered why we hired you as a wedding planner now. Because you was cheap. Because it was a discount or you were available. So funny. I think it's going to be really good. I think NeNe is kind of a horrible, horrible human, but she's going to make for a great, great show.

The only problem I have is her little sidekick is Cynthia Bailey. How boring is that? Or is Cynthia Bailey there because NeNe has to be the dominant one in the relationship and she needs just a little lackey by her side? I think so. I think Lucy needs an Ethel. Ethel wasn't really funny. She was just kind of some frumpy idiot.

Now, this Ethel, I don't know. Ethel didn't really open a terrible modeling agency either and try and get her own storyline. So I guess that's a bad comparison. But yeah, she's terrible, Cynthia. But Nini needs somebody that she could just always be nice to and that will always be nice to her no matter what. Because Nini can just...

She'll explode and kill somebody one of these days. She's got the rage. Cannot wait. Okay, let's move on. Do you want to talk about Real Housewives of New Jersey, which I hate? Yeah, I don't hate it. I'm kind of enjoying it.

Okay, this is why I enjoy it. First of all, I love this horse whisperer guy who's like, well, it ain't about the horse, it's about the dick. No, what did he say? It ain't about the horse, but it ain't about the dick either. So then he's making them all lift up this thing. I love that Rosie comes up to it

and she's like, he's like, who wants to go first? And Rosie lumbers up there. And before she even touches the horse or he says anything, she starts crying. She's like, I ain't good enough! Do you realize that you're talking about last week's episode of Jersey and not the new one?

Oh, I'm sorry. I had to put them all in one. We watched them back to back. No worries. I did not like the Horse Whisperer episode. Ben did. I'm really tired of these therapy sessions. I feel like the entire season

has been bring in Dr. V from that horrible show that Bravo should cancel. Bring in the horse whisperer. The only thing I liked about the horse whisperer is that he got real with people. He kind of smacked them down the way Judge Judy does. But at the end of the day, I just don't

care. Yeah, and also the people that are really going to need help are never going to be honest. Teresa's never going to admit it. Melissa's never going to admit fucking over Teresa. It's just never going to happen. One of the interesting things that came out this week in the

Housewives news was that this whole scene with Joe having a fit at the end of this episode where Caroline... Let me back up a little. I'm not backing it up that much because I'm still on the last scene of the show. They've had this great week. They've had so much fun together.

Caroline has to fucking ruin it at the very end and be like, Yo, you know, yous alls is fakes. And I want to see some real fighting. Okay. So then Joe's like, yeah, I don't believe you because I'm looking here and I see this tweet from this penny bitch and she starts going off and he starts going off

and like throwing a drink and being this drunken, ragey, short man, word ragey ape self. Which you and Ben find attractive for some reason. Don't forget. I don't find his word rage attractive. I find his gigantic wiener, his beautiful skin, and his tight little butt very attractive. But the word rage I could do with that, and the black stuff on the back of his hair, I could do with that.

But anyway, he throws a fit, throws a drink, whatever, acts like a mook. And then this article comes out the next day saying that text from Penny came out like nine months before, like six to nine months before this was even taped. And the producers were like, oh, well, here's an example of one of her texts. It's all so fake. It just makes me crazy. That one seems faker than most of the other ones.

So you're contradicting yourself because you're saying that you like this show, but I'm, on the other hand, saying that this is the biggest piece of crap. It's super fake. Nobody cares about these people. They're never going to fix their relationship. Who cares if Joe goes to jail?

Who cares? I mean, Caroline just sucks. Jacqueline is boring. Kathy is the most boring. Caroline and her husband are clearly in the saddest relationship of all time, which is hilarious. Rosie hasn't had sex in six years, and she's never going to because she's a psychopath.

Who cares? There's something about... I'm from a big Lebanese family, who's very dysfunctional, and no one speaks anymore. They all broke up. They had one of these family wars, like, on the show. So I think part of it for me is I like to see delusional people

who surround each other with family because they can say at the end of the day, no matter what happens, you're all great people because we're family. When, in fact, you're all really fucking terrible. Like, you can surround each other with like-minded people and tell yourself you're great and worthy of love and all this crap, but you're all criminals. None of you are worthy of love.

You know what, Rosie? You're such a nice girl. Here's the reason you don't have a girlfriend. You don't leave your mom's house and you chew with your mouth open. It's really very simple. Stop with the crying and with the histrionics. Is it histrionics or histrionics? It's histrionics, right? Just stop.

Close your mouth while you eat and get a hysterectomy, like Matt said. Thank you. Thank you. I'm off my soapbox. I don't know. I like watching a bunch of dumbasses fight. I feel like this cast needs a complete reboot. I think unless you're going to bring back Danielle

Staub, I really, like, I cannot, I'm actually going to tell you this right now, Ronnie. I am not going to watch the season going forward unless they have some serious changes. I cannot waste my time. Well, what are you going to be doing on the podcast? I'll pretend that I'm watching it and just go with the flow.

Yeah, it's the same thing every week anyway. You could pull out shit from last week and it would sound the same. Like I just did. But I think it's going to be good because we now get to see them fight with Penny and then Penny is going to blame Teresa for everything. And then we're going to really get to see when Melissa

confronts Teresa. Oh yeah, that's already happened 20 times. Never mind, you're right. The show's terrible. Okay, so let's move on because I hate this show now. You've made me hate it. Yay, success. You did it. So now what do we have? Mayams? Mejams.

Moonover Mejams. I'm checking the Facebook comments here real quick because somebody just made tostadas. That's right. Paula Jones just made herself some chips. Thanks a lot. Wait, did she make nachos or tostada because there's a big difference? She said I made tostadas

but I'm sure nachos are next. I gotta tell you, I'm a fan of the tostada when it comes in the crispy bowl that you can eat. I don't like the layered tostada with the different basics. I need't like the layered tostada with the different basics. I need a bowl. For wet tostadas?

Yeah, like I love an edible bowl. Put a soup in an edible bowl. Put a salad in an edible bowl. I am yours for life. That is the key to my heart. I would spill that shit all over myself because I try to eat the bowl and then I spill it. Like Quiznos has those soup bowls or they used to. Those big bread bowls. And I would just eat it and then get like shit. Like Quiznos has those soup bowls, or they used to, those big bread bowls, and I would just eat it,

and then get like shit flowing all down me. Why don't I even try? I'm just going to accept myself for who I am. But this is who I am. Deal with it! Alright, so let's talk about my jams. Okay, Miami. Okay, I've already said this, but first I have to make an announcement.

Uh-oh. Leah came on our show last year. Matt was not here. We had so much fun because Leah just, like, her assistant listens to us or something and talked Leah into coming on the show. So they called us. We had a really good time just talking trash with Leah.

Then she came on again. We had fun. Then we went to Leah's house, and we had a lot of fun hanging out with Amy Phillips. Then Leah had us on this free casting or whatever. So basically what I'm saying is, yes, we're not real journalists, and we can be bought, okay, is basically what I'm saying. So anybody out there who needs to buy us, feel free.

But I also want to say I can recognize when Leah's being an a-hole too. And here's one of those moments, okay? Really sorry to have to do this, but we gotta keep it fair, you guys. Leah has insisted this whole time that she does not know who this Beth from Texas blogger who leaked all this shit about Adriana is.

And now we see on the show that she's friends with this Beth from Texas blogger who's gonna write about her book. So that's all I'll say about that. But the other thing that I would say, and I said to Leah last night, was Leah, stop running away from these ladies and being classy. I want to see you bitch slap somebody. Adriana deserves it. Slap the bitch.

I'm glad you said that to her last night because I'm really getting tired. I know that I love Miami, and I keep encouraging people to tune into it, but it's not going to be fun as long as, one, Joanna is sober, and two, as long as Leah thinks that all we care to hear about are her turbans and her diamonds.

I need to see her confront some bitches and get down and dirty and start sticking her drag queen friends on these women that deserve to be attacked by seven foot tall drag queens. Agreed. I think that Leah's hilarious.

All the stuff with Leah writing her book and all of that, I really like that. I think it's really fun. She's doing herself a disservice because she's on a TV show. She's putting herself to the side and letting all these bitches gang up on her and say whatever the hell they want to.

And yeah, she's standing up for herself to the cameras or whatever. But if you're not going to actually fight the bitches, they're not going to bring you back next year. You're going to have to fight the bitches. You're going to have to take them down. I mean, I know filming's already done, but I hope maybe they can add some scenes where Aaliyah just loses it and starts punching people.

Because that's what I need to see. With her 25 million diamonds. Just like, knock a bitch down. So, here's the other thing. And yeah, sometimes I go MIA when she and you and Ben hang out and you replace me with her. I get that you have a lot of money

and we watch these shows because we like to see people with lots of money and their problems yada yada yada. I feel like every time she's on screen all we hear about is how much these diamonds cost and it's like the ball, I'm sorry, okay, I'm just going to say this. I love her. That ball was a

dud. Well, you mean because no one was bidding on the stuff or whatever? Yeah, I just thought it looked so boring. And Flo Rida, really? Well, you know, all that stuff I can't really say much about. I mean, yeah, she

does talk a lot about the jewels and the money and stuff, but they all do. It's like, then that girl's like, well, I got a $400,000 necklace. At least mine's real. And then stupid Mary Sol in the car the whole time is like, well, I got a 400,000 necklace. At least mine's real. And then stupid Mary Sol in the car the whole time is like, well, there goes my Gucci dress. Like, you said there goes my Gucci dress 20 times. How do you think Gucci feels seeing his dress on you?

He's like, there goes my Gucci dress. All these bitches do is talk about their money. Like, that's part of the show. I get it. And I really like Leah. I guess my point is that even though we've kind of become internet friends with Leah, we still have to

be fair and bitch about Leah because we're journalists. We are very, very serious journalists. I do not pretend to be a journalist. I do not call myself a blogger. I don't know really how I have a job, to be honest with you. I will just say this. Until she and Joanna start to throw back some drinks

and get up in Adriana's face, I am going to be angry because Adriana is a horrible person and she deserves to be demolished. And Leah actually has the brains and the verbal skills to take Adriana down. I need to see that on my TV sooner rather than

later. And for the franchise, they need to do this. Because, Ronnie, if we're just going to have these two factions of women just talking about it and, like, cutting from this team to this team to this team to this team all season long, we're never going to see the fireworks that we want. And that whole sit-down between Leah and Adriana a few weeks ago was so boring.

And the fact that Leah then even went outside when it was raining to put an umbrella over Adriana, she should have gone outside with an umbrella and tried to stab Adriana in the head with it. Yeah, she should have gone outside with a live wire and just plugged it into Adriana and watched her ass fry. I mean, here's the thing. Adriana is so crazy that it's unbelievable

to me that these women are all gathering around her on her side. The bitch is crazy! She's the first person to hit somebody. All the stuff she was saying last year was just completely nuts. Nobody could be on her side. Why suddenly is everybody feeling the need to stand behind the craziest one?

Do you think it's because they know that she's crazy so she's going to keep on the show and they don't want to mess with her? Well, the funny thing is Adriana's sitting there complaining the entire time, like oh, well all of you people, especially to Alexia, like oh, well you're afraid of crossing Leah because you know that she's

so manipulative and she can crush you and it's kind of like, actually you're saying that, but you are the huge bully psychopath on the show and if any of these women cross you, you will murder them in their sleep. Yeah, and you try and crush them. Right, so

I don't know how to feel about it. Actually, like, I was singing the praises of this show so much last week and heading into the season, and now I'm kind of like, what is going to happen? Like, I need some fireworks, dude. Something more definitely has to happen, because Joanna's whole storyline is like fucking her gay boyfriend,

Romaine. Like, oh, yes, I bought a house. I bought an ugly house for us. What is up with the eyebrows and the blinking? Is it a Botox thing? Is it a hair plugs thing? Is it a, I don't know, what's happening there? I don't know what's happening either, but I can't stop doing it.

Maybe it's once you start doing it, you can't stop doing it. Oh, yes. Oh, I bought a house. Oh, yes. Why buy the house? He didn't buy a house. He rented a house, so there you go. Yeah, so she is boring. Their whole storyline is boring. Yeah, she needs to get drunk and start some shit with people.

And then you've got fucking plastic... What's her name? Hawkstein. Lisa, who's supposedly the nice one, but says mean things mind everyone's back with a big smile on her face she looks like a melted coke can she's wondering why she can't have a baby it's because everything in you is made out of cancer I mean if you pop anything out it's gonna be like a melanoma just stop

trying she's married to some old man who's like from that movie that I just saw with Matt Damon and Jodie Foster where it's the future. Oblivion. Okay, here's what this movie is. Tom Cruise? You mean Elysium with Matt Damon? Elysium, yeah. Elysium. Yeah, you're right. That was a Tom Cruise movie.

So, Elysium. Okay, so in the future, Los Angeles is full of Mexicans. The only white person is Matt Damon, okay? So Matt Damon wants to go live where all the other white people live, in this spaceship where they have pools and stuff. So he finds a way to get his ass up there and ends up getting everybody Obamacare and amnesty. Okay, so that's basically the movie.

But there's this part in it where they have these machines, the Obamacare machines, like you lay down in them, and then they scan you for all your illnesses, and they fix you right up. And everybody's like, oh, plastic surgery, because any wrinkle, they'll scan over it, and they'll pull it up. Lenny looks like an actor from that movie, where they got a 60-year-old guy, taped all the shit back,

started pasting hair all over him, sucked him, put in some fake abs. It's gross. They wonder why they can't have babies. They look like they're made out of the chemicals in a Diet Coke. Get out of here, you two. I don't think it's all Lisa's fault. I mean, her husband is ten times worse. I mean, first of all, dudes with plastic surgery, not cute.

Not cute. Not cute. Even if you're a plastic surgeon, all, dudes with plastic surgery, not cute. Not cute. Not cute. Even if you're a plastic surgeon, I don't care. That is not cute. But they're both, the thing that kind of pisses me off about it, and I guess this is you know, this is coming from a gay guy who obviously cannot get pregnant, or

I guess I could get someone pregnant, but it would have to be a turkey baster and a good porn. You certainly try. You certainly put a good effort in. I will be the first one to get a boyfriend. Look how white my teeth are, by the way. You really should be a mouth model. I'm going to give you that.

It's not crazy. You should be a mouth model. I don't know what I can model. So anyway, your wholeness, all of you. You should be an overall model where your personality is included. Oh, I thought you meant like an overall model, like I would wear Oshkosh B'gosh overalls.

No, but they do need some of those. They need someone besides my papa in front of a cracker barrel showing those things off. So anyway, the thing that makes me mad is these people are so rich, you know, they always talk about how nice they are and how good they are to the world. Why don't you adopt a fucking baby?

What's the problem? Because they think that their genes are superior and they are some of those horrible people that don't want to save a child in need. They probably are also those people... If your genes were that superior, you wouldn't have to erase them every month, okay? All they do is mark over their genes, pull their genes off, inject their genes with shit.

Your genes suck, or you wouldn't need all that work. Okay? Adopt a baby. Or ten. Adopt ten babies. Or don't, because you're horrible people. What else? What else?

Okay, what's your take on Alexia? Is she playing both sides? She then ended up not going to the black ball because she said she was sick but she was clearly having a grand old time at the gay polo event like part of me is like commit like you don't have to commit because here's the thing like

she was getting angry at Adriana and Mary Saul because it was kind of like she was nervous to say that she also wanted to go to the black ball and support Leah and part of me was like stop being so timid you was nervous to say that she also wanted to go to the black ball and support Leah. And part of me was like, stop being so timid. You're allowed to say you girls are high school bitches. I'm allowed to be friends with whoever I want to be friends with.

And kiss my ass if you're not down with that. But then at the end, she ended up not going to the black ball. Because I feel like she felt pressured by Adriana that if she went there, she would be done, and she would be off that one lady's team. Well, she did. She pretty much said, like, the girls made me see, or for whatever reason, like, the girls made her see that she shouldn't go or whatever.

I don't believe that Alexia and Leah are, like, best friends anyway. I think they've probably known each other for a long time, you know, through their husbands, and there's always been money involved for charities and this and that. And let's face it, Leah made the bitch famous. She put her on this. Wasn't Leah the one who started gathering all the housewives for this show? They're all friends with Leah.

So she feels some sense of duty, just like Adriana used to when she wouldn't shit-talk Leah. So I think that the thing is that it's just a mean girl's mentality. I mean, I think that she would have turned the shower on the Jews, too, because everyone else was doing it, and there was social pressure to do it. You know? I don't think that all of those people were inherently evil. They were following someone who had a bigger personality than they were that made them feel like a dick if they didn't

do it. Well, I want to like Alexia, but then it's like, every single week, every single episode, I go in going, ugh, I really want to like her because I think she's hot and kind of crazy and kind of trashy. And, you know, that's the perfect combo in my world. But then it's like, okay, then she has the horrible, you know, racist son who punches people in the nuts. Oh, then she bites the hand that feeds, meaning Leah.

Then, you know, it's just like over and over and over again. It's like it's a certain point, meaning next week I'm just going to have to be done with this chick. Well, I don't like her. I think she's kind of a horrible, useless human being who obviously married a gay guy for his money because she was sick of trying to even pretend to work. And before that, she was married to a drug dealer, which we learned the week before.

So she's always gotten by on being beautiful and not having to do a damn thing. So I'm not really going to feel sorry for her. But I do love her on the show because I think she's hilarious. And she's hilarious. And she's the only housewife right now with a really interesting life that you want to watch every week. It's like, oh, you know, well, first my son wanted to be a model. And then, you know, that didn't work out.

So then he wanted to be an artist or something. And then that didn't work out. So now he wants to make songs. So I built him a studio. And he wrote this wonderful song about my son. And it's really touching. And then you hear the song. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, my N-word.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, what the fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck you. Yeah, yeah. She's like, I don't like the language. Yeah, really touching song. Touching. So touching. And then the son's like, yeah, that song was really good. I mean, the whole thing is just such a fucking, it's such a train wreck that I can't stop watching it.

I love to watch it. Right now, she's my favorite. I also need, though, more of her mom. I mean, we got such a tease with her earlier this season when they were like, oh, she moved to Miami, and she's not wearing a bra, and she's a psychiatrist, and she can't really speak English. Why is she not the star of the show? Well, I think they're trying to just bring in a random old lady,

and she really doesn't have that much to say. So she's not really working out. But I say, look, even if you're not going to bring back Karen Sierra, celebrity dentist, you can bring back her mother. Please call her Karen Sierra DDS. CDDS, celebrity DDS. Yeah, I mean, this is crazy, but after watching you guys on the show last night with Leah, Celebrity DDS. Yeah, I mean, this is crazy,

but after watching you guys on the show last night with Leah, it's kind of like, I really miss Karen. How dare I say that? Well, see, Karen, one of the reasons I love Karen is the same reason I love Alexia. It's the same reason I love Leah, because they're so crazy in their own little individual ways. Like Karen, for an example, last night when I said, did you get fired? And actually it was Ben's

question, but we asked, did you get fired or did you quit or what? And she's like, well, you know, the Latin community did not like that I was becoming friends with the white ladies, and they made it very difficult. And she went on for 15 minutes about how it was basically racism. It's like, bitch, did you

get fired or did you quit? She's nuts. So I love that. I love that about her. You have to admit that that storyline, though, was great with her last season where she didn't, like, she couldn't accept the fact that her boyfriend was sleeping with women around the globe. Like, she could not

process that and that was hilarious to watch on a week-by-week basis, which was also so incredibly sad. Yeah, and then they broke up right after that. Yeah. And then she's dating more actors. Stop dating actors. But I think that we're pretty much done, right? We're past our hour, damn it. This is going to take forever to process

on YouTube. We are. Again, I think that I am still the only one watching Below Deck, that reunion. I'm probably the only one still watching Property Envy and Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis. This past week on Interior Therapy was amazing. The most... Ronnie, if you are obsessed

with Big Brother this season and Amanda, that moose, disastrous evil moose, the latest episode of Interior Therapy... She really is an evil moose. I know, evil moose. So there was this woman, she's actually the granddaughter of Costello from the Abbott and Costello duo from back in the day.

She is the most horrifying monster I have seen on Bravo in such a long time, and she has a hot husband who she dominates and is evil to, and Jeff went in and regulated. It was a great episode of Interior Therapy. I still watch that. Are you watching Million Dollar List in Los Angeles? Because that shit is delicious too.

Is it? I heard it was boring lately so I haven't watched that much of it. I've been kind of watching it, but that Josh not flag, but Altman. Ugh, he's such a douchebag. He's the one I want to watch it. And then his gross girlfriend Heather with her fake fucking face. Like, you're 20.

Why do you need a fake face? Stop it. Imagine what she's going to look like in Tinder. They're just gross. They're all gross. She'll move to the OC, and she'll hopefully be cast on that program. Yeah, I mean, I'm still upset that they fired

Chad Rogers from a few years ago on his little creepy dog Starley cakes. Like, that was prime time for me on that show. But anyway, are we excited about any of the upcoming Bravo shows? We are definitely going to watch Nini. We mentioned that earlier. When does that start? Do you know? I think it starts in two weeks, or less than two weeks.

I'm also excited for the return of Top Chef. I've been missing some slutty Padma secretly fighting with Gail Simmons. Yes. That show's going to be really good. I cannot take these fucking... I cannot take these top chef

spinoffs. They just don't work. Top chef, you really need poor, miserable chefs climbing their way to the top to make it good. These famous chefs don't. They're too nice. I'm excited for more people back. Bravo is not about nice. I mean, I want

trashy chefs with really bad tattoos of spatulas duking it out. Yes. They're like, I got a salt and pepper spatula. I'm a real chef now. I can't stand them, but I love it. I hate them, but I love them.

Anyway, we should probably wrap this up. I'm really upset with you because I don't feel like, but I love it, but I hate them, but I love them. Okay, anyway, we should probably wrap this up. I'm really upset with you because I don't feel like you gave us enough impressions this week, and you should feel really bad about that and yourself. I do. I hate myself. But, I mean, who was there? I mean, there's Tamara, and then what else? Nothing else is happening.

Do you not understand that it doesn't matter, but we still... I'm counting myself as a fan and as a viewer here. Just toss us a bone every once in a while, man. I'm not your monkey, mother! Okay, yes you are, and you know it. On that note, thank you guys for tuning in. Hopefully Ben will be back from his whirlwind vacation next week

you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens you can find Ben who is not with us today at bsideblog you can also check out his actual blog which won an award recently so congrats to Ben on that you can find me Matt at life on the M list

on Twitter and on Instagram. And Ronnie, I'll let you explain where you are again because it's so fucking confusing. Just go to my YouTube page, youtube.com slash Trash Talk TV, TV spelled T-E-E-V-E-E, and my website with a bunch of really great recappers, trashtalktv.com,

and on Instagram slash Trash Talk TV. That's where I am. Thanks, you guys. We're going to be doing our Big Brother podcast live this Thursday night. It will be me and Matt again. Is Ben not going to be around? Because I don't know what's going on with my work sketch. Oh, really? Okay, well, I won't announce that then.

Okay, well, you just did, but we'll see what happens. Okay. We'll check our Facebook page for that. Okay. Bye! Bye! Bye! GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer.com for just $1.99 for the first year. Each new.com comes with a free instant page website and built-in photo album. So what are you waiting for?

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