Watch What Crappens - #94: Nuking Russia and Puking Adriana

Episode Date: September 18, 2013

Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) Give a super quick rundown of what ever Eat Drink Love episode consists of before moving onto the fake Penny dramz on Real Housewives of New Jersey and poor ignored Kathy's life. Then it's on to the odd kid party on Real Housewives of Miami and meaningful advice about not dating crazy bitches. Join! Chat with us live during the show on our facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 These are live on Tues at 430 Pacific on our Youtube page: http://www.youtube.com/thetvclique For Big Brother Video Speed Recaps join Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee For hilarious tomato drama, join Ben on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/bsideblog Matt on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lifeonthemlist and twitter http://www.twitter.com/lifeonthemlist Ronnie on Instagram: http:www.instagram.com/trashtalktv and twitter: http://www.twitter.com/trashtweettv Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog and twitter http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Our Sites: http://www.bsideblog.com http://www.trashtalktv.com http://www.yahoo.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio. For a free trial and 10% off, go to squarespace.com slash watchwhatcrappens and use the offer code CRAP8. Hey, everyone. Welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that you and we love so dearly. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com.

You can find me at bsideblog on Twitter and Instagram and Vine, et cetera, et cetera, pretty much any social media platform. And joining me this week, as always, is the trusty and hilarious and wonderful Ronnie Cannon from TrashTalkTV.com. Hi, Ronnie.

Hi. You're just being nice because you know I'm pissed off that you're in Palm Springs and I'm stuck in hot-ass L.A. alone and not having fun. And all you do is travel and have a good life. My life sucks. No, listen. I'm not having a good life. Just because I'm sitting here.

You're drinking a fucking margarita right now. Drinking a jug of water from Smart and Final. It's a Moscow mule. Listen, my life is not good. I was swimming in a pool in 100-degree weather, and I had to go leave that pool to come podcast. My life is not good. If this is the priority over a pool,

that means things are really messed up in my life. So we don't know. We don't have Matt. I was actually – one of the reasons why I was like, well, I'm definitely going to be at this podcast, because I thought Matt was going to be here, I thought it was going to be the reunion of the three of us,

because our schedules have been so wonky for the past three or four weeks. But it looks like it's just you and me today. Yeah, we've been in and out of town, blah, blah, blah, so we haven't all three been on. But we all three were going to be here, but Matt works for Yahoo, which is like a big blog, so he haven't all three been on. But all three were going to be here, but Matt works for Yahoo, which is a big blog, so he

has to do important things like worry about Emmy coverage and whose dress he's going to be mean about. Yeah, and he's literally writing coverage about Emmy McAdams-Burbano. That's Yahoo's mandate, is to write about Emmy, our faithful listener.

Our listener, yeah. Yahoo is really. Okay, so let us talk about some Bravo shows, shall we? What have you watched? Because you're the one who's been out of town. Did you watch Eat, Drink, Love? I did not watch Eat, Drink, Love because let me tell you something.

I keep forgetting that it's on Thursday nights and I was at my parents' place in New York for like two weeks and I kept forgetting to set my DVR. I was like, it's okay, I'll just download it off the internet, because that's secret, that's what I do, I sort of, when I'm traveling, I'll just download it off of BitTorrent. E-drink love is so unpopular,

the pirates don't even want it. I can't download that shit. So I just have to assume that Cato Delos had more stupid things. The private chef was like, groovy. Brenda was bitter. Waylon was like, oh, the chef likes me.

And the other girl was fired. So I assume that's just what happened, right? Well, that little girl got fired and they went on this trip. Did you see the one where they went on the trip? No. And then Waylon, the little I call her Alex P. Keaton. That's what my friend Nadine who works on the show calls her because she's

all business all the time. She gets fired from her job and they go on some trip. The cat gets for free because of her blog Eater LA. How does Eater LA afford to send five women to fucking San Ynez Valley in their own private home for two days? I doubt it. I'm so sorry.

I know they're popular, but we all know how difficult it is to make money on a damn blog, and that's some bullshit right there. Yeah, I agree. They go to this big, beautiful home in the country, and of course they all hate each other because no one really even knows each other. And Alex P. Keaton brings

white onion dip, or like white bean dip or some shit from Walmart. And then the baked donut lady is like, oh my god, this is such white trash dip. It's delicious. It's white trash deliciousness. Look at me being ironic. Yeah, she's like, I'm not 45,

or whatever. She's struggling so hard to be not 45. And then Alex P. Keaton starts sobbing and crying because she was mean to her for calling her dip white trash, and then the episode was about that. And then Alex P. Keaton starts sobbing and crying because she was mean to her for calling her dip white trash. And then the episode was about that. That was the fight. I actually feel like I would have really greatly enjoyed that. Because if you had told me that there

was an episode about Walmart white bean dip that was going to cause controversy, I'd be like I'm there. I am so there. Because I've been there. I've been there. I know what it's like to have a controversial dip. I mean, it was hilarious. And she's like, I wasn't calling you white trash. I was calling the dip white trash.

I'm not going to apologize for calling the dip white trash. Like, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but that's on you. And then Alex B. Keaton's like, that was so selfish. And she started crying. And then my 45-year-old was like, I cannot believe I'm fighting about dip. I was pretty much old. Well, okay.

So I did not see that show, which is too bad, because it was a big dip controversy. I did watch Jersey, and I watched Miami. And that's the only stuff on Bravo I got to see this week. So did you watch those shows? Okay. Well, we also have to talk about Tamara's wedding. Okay, guess how that was.

You didn't watch it, so just guess how that ended. With sex in a recreational vehicle. No, they actually did it in their hotel room that was free and covered by donated. I hope a hazmat team went in there afterwards. by donating. I hope a hazmat team went in there afterwards. Well, we got to see Tamara put on a dress and Tamara get her vagina

waxed. This is crazy. This is crazy, right? Yeah, we got to see where all the fat guys in California go. Bye! Moving! I'm still moving there, growing what hair I have left and combing it all over to the front to like a weird

faux hawk thing, like that weird big eye front of hers. So she got married, and it was really hard for her to be nice, and the whole time she was saying things like, this is like a little girl's dream. This wedding is like a dream. It's like what I dreamed of when I was a

little girl. The third time over. Yeah. And Vicky said really rude things like, I was a little girl. The third time over. Yeah, and Vicky said really rude things like, I was so impressed with the wedding, you know. I mean, I just assumed Tamara's more mediocre. But, you know, you can tell she had a wedding planner. It's like, damn. That Bravo paid for the wedding planner because if Tamara paid for the wedding planner,

it would be like a Harley Davidson theme with free tattoos in the corner and like corn dogs for the entree, which by the way, I would not have turned down a corn dog wedding. I just went to one of those a few weeks ago. So let's talk about shows you did watch. So Real Housewives of New Jersey, how did you feel? Did you feel for Kathy and her cannoli kits? New Jersey. How did you feel?

Did you feel for Kathy and her cannoli kits? I always feel for Kathy and her cannoli kits. I thought this episode was like forgettable. You know how forgettable it was? I watched it like about four hours ago and I don't remember anything that happened. I know that Kathy went to

Dylan's Candy Bar. Let's see. Let's see if I can jog my memory. So Kathy went to Dylan's Candy Bar. How did see. Let's see if I can jog my memory. So Kathy went to Dylan's Candy Bar. How did the episode even begin? Oh, Melissa's musical career has suddenly returned to light and now she's having fake meetings with Justin Timberlake's manager, so that's

hilarious. Who's already like semi-abusive. Okay, this guy's like in his 50s, wearing a plastic jacket, has so much filler in his face, he looks like Caroline Manzo. Well, she doesn't really have a lot of... She looks more like Koo. She just has mozzarella in there.

Yeah, yeah. She's got some melting mozzarella, like fresh buffalo mozzarella. It's like melting. I mean, her cheeks are delicious. Well, he's round, is what I'm trying to say. He's like big, round, and puffy, like a basketball, kind of.

Yeah. And he's like Justin Timberlake's music producer. She named all these people. It was like JT Acon, Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson. You see how much I know music? I'm bringing up Michael

and Janet Jackson. That's how current I am. That's okay. She's like Lady Gaga. See, I still don't know. I can't even fake it. But anyway, what's he doing with Melissa Gorga? She said he just heard some of her songs and wanted to be a part of them.

Yeah, that's bullshit. That's like, hey, you know what? I'm tired of making other people famous. I want to be on TV for a little bit, and Bravo's paying me some money, so I'm going to entertain this ridiculous thought that Melissa Gorga could be a pop singer, which she can't be. I think she sounds the best of all the real housewives who've gone on to sing. She actually

has, I think, the best voice, but it's actually like the guy said. Her music is all about, like, I'm in the club, like, whatever, but she's like a wifey, like a housewife. That doesn't match. Yeah, it doesn't match, and I don't appreciate you saying that she's the best singer of all

the housewives. I totally disagree. What about... I wanna marry you. Let's get married however. And clearly, how can I forget Candy Burris? Riley.

See, because there's not enough songs for Riley. You can have another serving, Riley, even though the box says you shouldn't. Riley. Riley. Riley. Riley. Hit it. Not really. So Melissa Gorga. Okay, so this guy, this music producer obviously hates her.

He's semi-abusive. He's like a verbally abusive husband already and they just met. He's like, listen, the music industry don't give a fuck about your kids. It just cares that you're singing all the time. Sing! She's like, well, but I'm a mom. He's like, why don't you come down to Orlando?

There's something about the idea of, like, you're going to come with me to Orlando that makes it sound like murder is imminent. Or pedophilia. I think of backseat fucking because I know three strippers in real life

and they're all from Florida. Every one. So whenever I think of Florida, I think of these poor teenage girls being forced to strip at a young age and giving blowjobs in the back of rented limos. And that's what I'm picturing from Melissa. Sorry, Mal. Yeah. So you also know he hates her,

not only because he looks at her with complete disdain and basically said he hates her, but he's making her sing an actual song with notes and stuff. It's not just like, Yo, yo, yo, and when I'm in the club lights. It's like an actual, like, you are beautiful. Yeah. It makes me think that Luann actually

Countess Luann may have actually got it all figured out what oh it's like paranormal activity over there on your camera Luann's got to do that giving myself a better angle okay because Luann was like you know what I'm not going to bother even singing I'm just going to speak things like a gay man

and people will just have to accept it and you know what? You can't say she has a bad voice because she doesn't even bother singing on her tracks. Yeah, she has a love... You know, you listen to Luann's song, and you're like, God, that woman should get into voiceovers. What a lovely voice. Yeah. She should be doing actor commercials.

Totally. That Luann, she really knows how to sell a car. She really could. She could sell a luxury car like the best of them, I bet. Yeah, I think she could too. She's like that guy from Mad Men, Roger. He's in those cars. Yeah, I feel like Luann, I could imagine her pairing well with like one of those Lexus commercials

where they put wine glasses on the hood. And Luann talks about the smooth ride of a Lexus. You can buy a ride, but you can't buy a classy ride. Wait, that doesn't make sense. Of course you can. Class doesn't buy you cars. You can buy a ride, but not class. Yeah, yeah, there you go.

You see? That's why you can afford to go to Palm Springs, because you're a commercial rider. I'm a loser. Who are you there with? Michelle Collins, I saw on the Facebook. Who else? It's actually just the two of us.

Honestly, it's impromptu, and it's going to be fun. I mean, it is fun already. It's like 100 degrees out here. I'm in a tank top. I'm drinking a milk. I'm coming back tomorrow. You are getting some use out of that tank top. I bought that tank top with you at Target, and you are getting some use out of that tank top. I bought that tank top with you at Target,

and you are getting some use out of that tank top. I love this tank top. This tank top came out during Gay Pride weekend, and I was very happy with the results. Yeah, and I am getting a lot of use out of my Mickey Mouse shirt that I bought on our trip. I wear it all the time, just in case anyone's wondering. Oh, and because I didn't do the...

Oh, I've worn it. I've worn it on here. I'll show it to you since I only have like five things I said I'd like to see Mickey Mouse in a tank oh no I'm going to need a while before I get a tank right now I've got anti-arms I keep saying

you know what's funny I keep saying I want to see Mickey Mouse in a tank but you keep on thinking I'm talking about you oh I thought you meant like I want to see Mickey Mouse as a tank, but you keep on thinking I'm talking about you. Oh, I thought you meant like, I want to see Mickey Mouse as a tank, I guess I was thinking. And I was like, I ain't wearing a Mickey Mouse tank. I'm like, Ronnie. I look creepy enough in a tank top without being in a Mickey Mouse tank top.

It's like, that creepy guy is creepy. Oh my God, now he's in a Mickey Mouse tank top. That is triple creepy. Call the police. I built my own website recently before I knew about Squarespace, and it was a total pain. I had to learn all this coding, all this HTML. It was one of the hardest things in my life. The remaining follicles I had left on the top of my head are now gone.

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And you guys, remember, Squarespace, everything you need to create an exceptional website. You're not Mickey Mouse. Okay, thank you. Thank you. That was a nice break. You're not Mickey Mouse. Thank you. That was a nice break. Melissa's music career is terrible, so that's nothing new. Let's talk about Jacqueline having to give a speech.

Jacqueline is going to give a speech at this autistic event for whatever, raising money for autism or something. Via Blackwater, via the most expensive product. Hey everyone, buy this hideous product and then it'll go to charity.

Yeah, so that's their new thing to try and sell Blackwater is that they're using it, they're saying like a part of the proceeds goes to an autism charity which Jacqueline

just happens to have started. So she's saying all these people are on Twitter bashing her because she's using autism these people are on Twitter bashing her because she's using autism as a way to further her career. Well, Jacqueline, you're selling a product that you're profiting from that benefits a charity that you're profiting from.

How is that not using autism to profit? Hello? That requires too much logic for her to process. She lost the last of her logic cells with her tummy tuck because they were all in her stomach. Here's an idea.

If you want to raise money for charity, don't raise the money by hawking an underperforming product. Don't raise the money by hawking an underperforming product. Don't sell the most disgusting type of water and hope it's going to raise money. You know what you do? Buy some Snickers bars and then you can raise some money. It's just like little kids that appear out of nowhere that have boxes of Snickers bars

for some reason and we'd like to sell you some Snickers bars. That's what you should do to raise money for autism. Don't sell water that is black, the totally unnatural color of water. It's like the reverse of Pepsi Clear, except not as cool. Yeah, and it's like you're promoting health by selling muddy water. It just doesn't make any sense.

I still don't understand black water. I think that black water is so terrible, and it was selling so poorly, that they're using autism to guilt people into buying Blackwater. And then they're profiting both ways. They should just sell some of that famous Café's egg salad for charity. And I'm telling you, they've raised a million dollars because everyone knows Café's is where you go for the egg salad. That egg salad and mozzarella.

Well, Jackie is crying about having to give a speech, and she's so nervous about giving a speech, and all I could think to myself was, I think that the audience is going to be so completely unimpressed that such an obviously autistic woman is not only reading from a cue card, but she did her weave. I don't see why she's so nervous.

I see auto-success in that speech. How do you exist on a reality show and make public appearances and then be nervous about public speaking? I just don't understand that, especially when there's like 30 people in the audience. And half of them are your family. I guess if you're an idiot.

Yeah. I was going to go into a longer answer, but I think that that one's actually perfect. So there was perfect. So there was that. So they played basketball and then Teresa helped with the speech, which the best part of the show was Chris cracking up that Teresa was actually helping

anyone speak. Well, Teresa, like the speech maker, like she should be like, I wish I could remember a famous speech maker. What's his name? The guy who worked for Nixon. I forgot his name. But Teresa's like, yeah, yeah, put that in. Put that maker. What's his name? The guy who worked for Nixon. I forgot his name. But Teresa's like, yeah, yeah, put that in. Put that in.

She's like, well, sometimes I wake up in the morning, I'm tired. Yeah, put that in. Put that in too. Yeah, that's something else we can talk about. That sounds good. People can relate to that. You wake up in the morning. That sounds good.

Put that in. Everyone wakes up in the morning. Everyone wakes up. Yeah, that's good. So you heard that the Mantles are getting their own spinoff, right? No. Hello, have you not been visiting our Facebook page, Ben? It's on there like 20 times.

I've been barely keeping up. I'm telling you, okay, people of the Internet know this. After next weekend, I will be fully mentally there. But right now, so I was in New York for two and a half weeks, and now I'm in Palm Springs, and this weekend I'm going up to Portland for a wedding. And after that, no more traveling. And once that's over, then I'll be able to truly focus on our Facebook page and all the fun things.

But no, I did not read that. The Mantos are getting a spinoff called Manzo'd with Children. I hate that. It should have been called Mozzarella and Spaghetti or something like that. Ham and... It should have been called Ham and Tomato Sauce. Manzo with Children.

Like, that's not even like a good pun. It should have been like... Potatoes in the Attic. Who's the... Potatoes in the attic. Because you know that those brothers are going to be secretly making out between takes.

I don't think it should have been called Who's the Manzo or something like that. Or like... Manzo... I feel like a woman. Manzo Ball Soup. Or how about I'm Not a Boy, Not Yet a Manzo. What about

The Sixth Manzo? Twelve Angry Manzos. What about The Isle of Manzo. Twelve Angry Manzos. What about The Isle of Manzo? What about Manzo on a Wire? Oh, God. What about Three Manzos and a Little Lady? Three Manzos and a Little Manzo. Three Manzos and a little manzo three manzos three manzos and another manzo

how about police police academy manzo manzo academy the naked manzo what about down out of beverly manzo so stupid I'm just going through 80s movies. Romancing the Manzo.

And they're all better than that. Every one of those is better than that. Well, actually, it would be Married with Children, right? So it would have to be TV shows. It would have to be like Facts of Manzos. No, right now I'm actually on a little bit of a Bette Midler Manzo pun spree here. I've done Dan out of Beverly Manzo.

I've done Ruthless Manzo. And I've Midler Manzo puns for you. I've done Dan out of every Manzo. I've done Ruthless Manzo, and I've done Big Manzo. So, Outrageous Manzos? For the Manzos? Oh, you've named all of them. You've named all the good Bette Midler movies. Now we would have to come to the new ones, which are just terrible,

like that one with Billy Crystal. Yeah, what was that one again? It's like Killing Mona? Killing Manzo. Oh, now that I would watch, Killing Manzo. Each week they just chase Lauren. She's like, I thought I was more in shape than this!

I'm like, no you're not! Every week she has two hours to find an RV that she can lock herself into. I cry. And then her mom just circles it over and over calling her an asshole. Yeah.

Tell manzies. Caroline was barely in this episode, by the way. Thank God. The only thing she did in this episode was promote her goddamn son's business like usual, and then flake out on Kathy's thing with her fake fake fake. How did she promote her goddamn son's business, like usual, and then flake out on Kathy's thing with her fake... How did she promote her son's business?

Because she showed up to the autism event, which was a black event, where they were all wearing the caps and the shirts and stuff that said, be okay. That's right, that's right. And she had a migraine. She always gets migraines. She has to, like, be nice to somebody else.

Fucking lame. I'll give you a migraine. She always gets migraines. She has to be nice to somebody else. Fucking lame. I'll give you a migraine. Okay, so the other big thing that happened, the other significant thing, was that Melissa and Joe

went out to dinner and guess who happened to be at the exact same restaurant and who happened to have a microphone already on her? Wasn't that crazy?

Penny. Who would have thought? Who would have thought she was fully mic'd up already and she went Wasn't that crazy? Penny. Who would have thought? Who would have thought she was fully mic'd up already and she went to the same restaurant? That was crazy. Well, little Junior Midget Joe was hilarious

how he was talking about her. He's like, who would put out these Twitters? A woman who looks like that. Look at her. Just look at that woman. That being said, I have to say I'm kind of loving Penny.

I kind of, I've loved all the ancillary characters on New Jersey because they're so ridiculously Jersey-ish that you can't help but just be totally entertained by them. And Penny is like, she's got like, you know, a horse's mane of blonde hair and her them. Penny is like, she's got a horse's mane of blonde hair, and her

face has been in like, I think she spent three hours making out with a tanning bed light or something like that. It's weather. It's weather. She's probably like, I'm 23. Weather, yes. It looks like her face was left out in the sun and then rubbed

over a fence post like they do in Texas to weather your leather cap, your couch leather. Most certainly. They've studied her face as to how to make better footballs. I also love that her hair that's pulled back is

one color and then her ponytail is obviously a different color. It's like a plastic. She's a national treasure. But that being said... That ponytail looked like a uniform at the hula hut.

So here's the thing with Penny. Her husband is this Jimmy the Greek, or whatever his name is. Johnny the Greek. Oh, don't fuck it up. He will fuck your life up on Twitter. Jimmy the Greek was or whatever his name is. Johnny the Greek. Oh, don't fuck it up. He will fuck your life up on Twitter. Jimmy the Greek was a famous gambling... He had to do with gambling or something like that.

He was from the 80s. He was a sportscaster. He was? Jimmy the Greek was, not Johnny the Greek. Oh, I was going to say, wow. You just gave some credibility to Johnny the Greek. Johnny the Greek's a fat bastard who's been following this show around for years trying to get on camera and sending nasty tweets for years

trying to get somebody to get them on camera, and nobody would until this year. Fucking Melissa fell for it. Stupid. So here's the thing, though. So the big fight that has been in the news that's gone to court and all of the stuff where Joe Gorga and Chris Laredo

pulled out sinks and threw them, that happened at Penny Salon allegedly because Johnny the Greek said something disparaging about Nicholas' autism, okay? And there's been speculation that we're not going to get to see that fight, or if we do see that fight, Johnny the Greek is going

to be cut out of the episode entirely and they're going to make it sound like someone else said it. These are the rumors that are online. But as you know we've already had the big trip which signifies that we're usually like three quarters of the way through the season or four fifths even perhaps aka 80%.

And episode 16 or 17. So we're heading we're in the final stretch here. Yeah. And we've now been formally introduced to Johnny the Greek via this episode. Do we think, or do you think, that we're going to actually get to see this brawl happen? It sounds like they're almost setting it up. We're going to see the fight in some way, because they show it next week.

They show that next week they're at... Really? Yeah. Oh, because you watched on BitTorrent, so they probably didn't have this part. No, no, no. I watched this one actually on proper on DVR, but no, they talked about the Posh 2 opening, but the party... Yeah, they showed Kim D, and she was talking about her Posh 2 opening, and then they show

them at this opening, and Penny's there, and they start fighting, but isn't that what it is? I thought the fight with Johnny the Greek happened at Penny's there and they start fighting. But isn't that what it is? I thought the fight with Johnny the Greek happened at Penny's Salon. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala

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And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk february black history exactly exactly there are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about especially outside of february and we are about to flip the script on all of that because on this show you're gonna hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some.

As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th. Or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Oh, I don't think so. Well, I thought it happened.

I mean, I think you're thinking because of Salon, but I think they were talking about Posh. Maybe Posh is at the Salon. Who knows? The way they do shit in Jersey, there's probably a car wash, a salon, a fucking fat burger. It's all like in one little store.

Danielle Staub's plastic surgeon. Yeah. But that whole thing was ridiculous. And of course, Melissa's like, well, hello. Wow, it's so crazy to see you here. So, you know, when we had that talk the other Wow, it's so crazy to see you here. So, you know, when we had that talk the other day, it felt like

you were holding something back. And Penny's like, I was! She's like, okay, well, you know, who told you that? And then Joe's like, yeah, yeah, let's just put this to rest, alright, bitch? And I'm just like, ready to kick her ass. And Penny's like, I'll show you!

I'll show you! I'll show you the messages. I'll show you my contacts on my phone. You want to see them? I'll show you them. You want to see them? Show me them. Show me them. What does that prove that you have Teresa's phone number?

What does that prove exactly? She's friends with all of Teresa's friends. If she showed them texts or emails, that would be proof. But showing that she has her number is not proof. It proves nothing. But this is Melissa and Joe that we're talking about. And if she handed them a dinner roll and said, this is proof that I know Teresa, they'd be like,

oh, yeah, that's pretty convincing. Considering you weren't here last week, but we were talking about how that tweet that they were fighting about last week in Arizona where Joe's like, Joe told that fucking baby to shut the fuck up! Like, throwing his glass. Well, that tweet he was referencing was posted, like, nine months before that shoot date. So, the producers just obviously were like,

well, you know, I know this has already passed. Let's talk about it now. So all of that stuff, like the timeline was all, someone posted, I'm sorry I'm not remembering who posted it, but maybe it was Stupid Housewives. I don't remember who did it. But there was a timeline about what it was. And Arizona was posted way after all the Penny stuff had already happened.

So this Penny stuff has already happened in Showtime. The show is struggling to create for a through line. And I think that whenever one of these shows has to rely so much on stuff that happens on Twitter, it's not going to read as well for the audience because that's like, all the drama that comes from what people tweeted

or didn't tweet, it's so superficial and petty. I think that we as the audience get into the drama that feels more organic and real based on true, like a real argument, like a real personal

thing. You know, like when Kim and Kyle Richards had their big fight at the season finale of the first season of Beverly Hills. When they had that fight in that limousine, that was, like, real. That was, like, really about, like,

stuff that went back 20 years, and it was compelling. And also, honestly, the way, like, that Kim and Camille had a fight that season. I don't know why I keep going back to Beverly Hills season one, but, like, they had a fight, and it was compelling. Or Jill, Zarin, and Bethany, like,

that was, like, a real... They had a real rift in their friendship, and they were dealing with it, and that's relatable. But when people are talking about, like, well, you tweeted this, or you said this in InTouch magazine, it's like a very thin source of drama. It doesn't really resonate, I feel like, with... Well, especially in this case,

because this wasn't even something that they tweeted. This is that fat bastard Johnny the Greek and his hag wife with her hay hair. Like, who even cares about them? Why are we even talking about them? And it's all the root of evil. Melissa. That is what it all is. It's Melissa bringing old shit

into the picture. So whatever. She's ridiculous. Literally old shit. And he looks like feces that's been sitting out for 15 days. Old shit. What about Kathy? So that's been sitting out for 15 days. Old shit. What about Kathy? So Kathy, is there anything to say just that she had her thing at Dylan's Candy Bar and that no one showed up and then people finally did

show up? I want one of her cannolis. I'm not going to lie. I wanted a cannoli so bad. Well, I want any cannoli. Have you ever seen a cannoli that you were like, oh, I don't want that? You want a cannoli. I don't want a cannoli. For Christ's sake. I don't want a cannoli that you were like, oh, I don't want that? You want a cannoli. I don't want a cannoli. For Christ's sake. I don't want a cannoli that's filled with penny,

a.k.a. old shit that's been sitting out for 15 days. Yeah, good point, good point. But I don't think they're selling those. But, yeah, I wouldn't want that either. But also, here's what I don't get. A cannoli kit? Who wants – okay, do you know what that involves? You have to, like –

You have to take out this fucking processed piece of dough that's been shipped and God knows how long it's been stored, wrap it around a metal stick, heat up a pot of oil to a certain temperature, which means you have to measure the temperature. You've got to wait for five minutes. Then you've got to fry it, which is

another couple minutes. Then you've got to let the oil cool down. Then you've got to mix up the mix and put it in a dessert thing, which is not easy. That gets all over. I mean, what a pain in the ass. Why don't you just box up some fucking cannolis and put your face on the box? What's your problem, Lenny? She needs to just make them pre-made

and frozen or make the cannoli wrapper and stuff it with the shit that's inside the Cadbury cream eggs. That's what you've got to do. No one wants to do a kit. I agree 100%. I just say, like, Kathy's cannolis,

please don't ignore them. Or like, you know, Kathy's cannolis, please pay attention to them and not Ben and Jerry's all the time. You know, like something really sad and guilt-inducing. I just had an amazing idea. Maybe it's because I've had my little cocktail

here, but hear me out. When I was a kid, I went and took a tour of the Ben & Jerry's factory in Vermont. They have a policy. You can submit flavor ideas, and if they accept it, then you get a lifetime supply of it.

Chunky Monkey, a little girl who came up with that idea. I've always wanted to come up with a good ice cream idea. What about cannoli ice cream? That would be good. I'd buy that. I would 100% buy ice cream that had cannolis in it.

100%. Just don't tell Kathy about it because then she'll come out with a make your own cannoli ice cream 100% but just don't tell Kathy about it because then she'll come out with like a make your own cannoli ice cream kit and then you'll have to fry a cannoli and mix the batter and heat the oil and make fucking ice cream too on top of it

like a three day event she's like it comes with a bucket so you can go milk a cow oh my goodness so that whole Kathy storyline is basically no one pays attention to Kathy. And look, I mean, I think that it's very indicative of what the whole audience is feeling. Like, why the fuck would anybody pay attention to you? You don't do anything.

I love Kathy, but... I love Kathy. I mean, she seems so nice and stuff, but I don't necessarily want to watch her on TV. I mean, what does she even do? She gets mad when foam core posters of her face fall on the ground. That's all she does. Yeah, pretty much. She pretty much spends the entire time being like,

hey, hey, I have a voice here. Why doesn't anyone pay attention to me? I mean, I don't have a voice, but I have a voice. That Why doesn't anyone pay attention to me? I mean, I don't have a voice, but I have a voice. That's pretty much all she does. Or like Teresa says, she's having another masha, masha, masha moment, which is perfect.

She's like, her cannolis are edible. That's okay, they're edible. Meanwhile, Teresa still doesn't know how to say canola. Oh, that was pretty hilarious. Teresa's like, yeah, you know, I'm proud of her. She's got, you know, does she have cannolis? Yes. Are they edible?

Yeah. Good for her. I'm like, what a bitch. I know, she's such a bitch with her fucking everything. She's going to be so great in jail. I really, really hope that we get some documentarians in there to follow that. Yeah. Sorry, I think that's it for New Jersey.

Should we go on to Miami? Yes, please. Let's. Do we have anyone saying anything interesting on Facebook before we transition shows? Agreed, Ronnie. Melissa is the root of all evil. Well, thank you, Paula Jones. She totally is.

And I'm glad that the first thing I read was, I agree, Ronnie. I like that. Wait a second. Stop the presses. Katie King, I love you, Katie King, because you made a Happy Endings reference in a comment section of Watch What Crappens, number 94, and she said, Derek, what about

Penny on the mausing, albeit recently deceased, Happy Endings? I don't know what she's talking about, but Katie King, thank you for keeping a candle lit for happy endings. My favorite comedy of the past eight years. Aw.

Canceled. They were making sitcom jokes about the monzos. Whorebroken monzos. What was this? Caroline in the Monzo's. Whorebroken Monzo's. What was this? Caroline in the City. Wait. Poor Leah Thompson. I hope someone said

two guys, a girl, and a Monzo place. Or two Monzo's and a Monzo. Two Manzo's, a girl, and an egg salad place. Two Manzo's and a lap band? Someone say that? Yeah, that was Olivia Kelly. That's some funny shit, you guys.

So wait, let me ask you. Oh, people keep saying Ellen Barkin. So is it Penny that looks like Ellen Barkin? They had dinner with Ellen Barkin? Oh, I guess she does kind of look like Ellen Barkin. Ew, gross. But I like Ellen Barkin, so I'm going to pretend that I didn't. Let's purge that.

Whoever, listen, Ellen Barkin does not deserve that, okay? Yeah, Penny looks like Oscar the Grouch, but he just keeps going from trash can to trash can. There's nothing to eat. Like he just keeps missing trash day. She looks like a melted candle. Does my forehead look okay? Is it evening out?

It is. Lemons. See how it's discolored there? It's starting to even out because I got a really bad smell. I never would have noticed. I'm cocktail. I do too. That was me slurping my cocktail. I'm out. I'm out.

I wish I could take my laptop to the pool. You probably could, but then we'd get cut off again. I'd be left here alone. Nobody wants that. Nobody needs that. All right. Let's go on to Miami. Miami.

Miami. Okay. Miami. Miami centered around same old shit that has been centering around for weeks now. So. You go. You lead. I will lead. So, you know, last week Ronnie and I participated in a crazy circus that was Leah Black's first ever video podcast thing.

It was like Ronnie and I and Lance Bass. Did you talk about this last week when you did it? A little bit. But go ahead. It was really fun, but it was chaotic. It was crazy. Last night, I did the second episode with Leah. It was actually interesting.

First of all, it was much less chaotic. It had a little bit more of a flow. One of the first things that I asked Leah about, I said, Leah, what's the deal with your secret wedding? Because on Miami, Adriana pulls out an article. Like 1990-something. She's like, this is up to my journalistic standards.

They're not the only ones who can pull out a paper. She's like, I read this in People's Magazine. I love when people pluralize things. So anyway, so the article that Adriana pulls out was an article

from like 1995 when someone said that Leah... And her name isn't even Leah, it's Lisa. And then they show a close-up of the article

and it's Lisa, Leah, Leah Black. Like what a dumb bitch. Like she was trying to hide her name. Stupid. She's like, his name isn't

even Bill, it's William. His name isn't even Jack. John, that's not up to my standards. Richard is so mean that everybody has been calling him Deke behind his back. It's not even his real name, okay? How about that? How about this? I was just just reading I was reading in the

paper that Leah her real name so I met this girl named Lisa and her real name is Elizabeth like how about that that's not her real name that's not to my standards of law you better call some blogger and ruin their whole life and make their something they're a liar Just another immigrant trying to get rice on her plate and change names. Not up to my standards. This rice is not up to my standards. So anyway, so, but of course, as the audience, all you hear is Adriana saying that Leah had a secret wedding. So I was like, Leah, what's the deal with your secret wedding?

She was like, well, she's the deal with your secret wedding? She was like, well, she's like, so, Roy and I got eloped. And we just didn't send out a press release. I didn't realize that made it secret. And she was honestly, if you go back, if you want to watch the episode, it's on our Facebook page,

facebook.com forward slash watch where crap ends. And Leah's very up front about it. I have to admit, I believe her. I'm not saying that because we know Leah and we like her. She basically was like, yeah, we eloped. We told a few people. It wasn't a secret.

We just didn't publicize it. I got the impression that if someone said to Leah, are you married? She would have been like, yeah! You know? Well, the argument was that Leah wasn't mad that she was married. She was mad that

she was married and taking all this money from her. Now, I saw What's Her Buns. What is her name? Snow Globes. Standards. She was on Watch What Happens a couple days ago or whatever, and I saw she was on it so I recorded it. I mean, the woman

is just such a fucking liar. She can't keep one thing straight. And then when they started asking her about the money that Leah supposedly gave her, she said that she knew Leah before she was married, and she was poor. And Leah bought a few of her paintings

that helped her, but otherwise she never gave her money, and she was poor, and Leah bought a few of her paintings that helped her, but otherwise she never gave her money, and she never did that after she was married, but lied about it. It's like, I don't know. You know what, though? I have to say, though, one thing that I also said on this podcast thing

was that take away this money issue, okay? Take away this issue that Leah may or may not have supported her, may or may not have bought these paintings, who knows? The point is this. We saw on camera, and Bravo showed us a whole montage of it, of Leah making references saying, like, when's Frederick going to put a ring on it? When are you guys going to get engaged?

Is this the longest da-da-da-da-da? And Adriana just, like, nodding andding and laughing and like going along with it. And the point is this, regardless of the money situation, Adriana was truly being deceptive. Like, I'm sorry. Like, she was leading Leah on. Like, why didn't she say something to Leah

in private being like, actually we got married or something like that? Like, as a friend, I would be annoyed as a friend if you just if you sort of, there was that level of deception. I wouldn't end a friendship over it. I'd be like, what

the hell? I want to have an explanation. And I think that's what Leah was trying to go for when she had that meeting with Adriana. And Adriana then was like, you're not up to my standards of a friend. I'm sorry I'm not good enough to be a friend, you're not up to my standards. I'm a friend. I'm sorry I'm not good enough to be your friend. I'm not up to your standards.

So, okay, so in season one, wasn't there something about Adriana getting a call from her ex-husband, or she was saying, like, she got a call from the, what was that? She got a call from the... What was that?

She got a call. Her ex-husband had a total double life. He had a whole other wife. He had two wives, two families, and, like, the other woman called Adriana, I believe, and they put it together. I mean, it's a terrible, traumatic thing to have to go through, and, you know, it's not...

You know, it's terrible. And Adriana definitely went through that, and she had to sort of rebuild her life. And we always were under the impression that she was sleeping on her gallery floor, and Leah came in and helped her out. And now Adriana's saying, well, Leah bought a few paintings, and

that was basically it. Well, she not only bought the paintings, but she brought all her rich friends to buy paintings. Yeah, and I'm sorry, say what you will, but like, Leah's connected. Look at her gala. Her gala shits on like all the other Real Housewives parties that are out there.

I'm sorry, it really does. That goes for like Beverly Hills. That goes for New York. I mean like, her gala is like, it's huge. I don't know. I just think that if you're going to get on Leah, there are such legitimate reasons that you could go after Leah and nail her down for if you really wanted to.

I don't understand why. Adriana's really freaking out. Oh, I can't go into her house. It gives me heart attack every time I want to go into her house. Yeah. I can't go into her house. I need to cap Reena before I go into her house. Yeah. What is it? I can't go into her house. I need to cappuccino before I go into her house. Yeah, because that phone call was so scary

when Lee was like, Hi. Just calling to say come on over. It's a kid's birthday party. Don't worry. I'm not going to fight with you. You know, everything's fine with us. Just come on over.

How fun is that? I'm going to have a heart attack. And meanwhile, Adriana's talking shit and being really vicious and mean with like four or five other ladies at a time. That's all she's done the entire show. Why is she scared?

I mean, if anyone should be scared, it should be Leah to have that fucking flick after her. But also, why did she go? I mean, she's like, well, I don't want to take it out on poor RJ. Do you think that RJ gives a shit about if Adriana DeMora shows up at his birthday party? He cares about having a fake phone to fake shoot friends and then put on a top hat afterward. That's what he cares about.

He doesn't care if his mom's friend does or does not show up. Frederick was there. That's all he cares about. Do you remember any of the parents that showed up at your birthday? You don't care. Yeah, no one cares. Yeah, for Adriana to be like, well, I have to be there for RJ. No, you actually really did not.

Her own son looked like he could barely be in the same room with her. I mean, she's that fucking obnoxious when she's like, listen, I wanted to talk to you about the things that are going on here. Are you upset because of RJ? And he's like, no.

He's like, I'm so upset. Well, do you guys talk about it? Or, you know, has he said anything to you about it? And he's like, nope. You know, nope. She's like, okay, you're sure you're okay? And he's like, yep, you can go.

Get the fuck out of my room. You know, ugh, she's so sad she has nobody to talk to. And then her wussy-ass husband has to, like, grovel and apologize because he was such an ass on Twitter trying to defend her. Like, that's the problem with dating someone like Adriana. You know, like, she's such a bitch every year to somebody new. She goes psycho on people every single year.

It's always somebody new. It's never the same person. You have to stand up for your woman. That's part of being a man. You've got to stand up when your woman is in a fight. That's why you can't date crazy bitches. Because you date a crazy bitch and they yell at someone in a parking lot, they're not going to punch her. They're going to punch your ass. Don't date a crazy bitch why would

anyone date especially someone as weak as that guy yeah yeah and you know the thing is you know that Adriana yells at a lot of people in a lot of parking lots shields probably at the squirrels she sees the squirrels like you'll get out of here with that that nuts that was my not fine take that not take that acorn oh you think I'm not classy? Oh, you think I'm not classy the way you're looking at me? Oh, you're the one with nuts in your mouth, okay? Meanwhile, I have to say this, though.

I loved RJ's birthday party, and you know why? It was like the first birthday party we've seen on any of these Real Housewives shows that actually seemed like a true kids party. It was like kids with guns pretending that they were shooting each other and then they're eating cake and they had stupid hats on. It made no sense but it was so much better than like... She's like, in orchestra? Guns?

Gloves? I'm fighting? I don't know. That's what he wanted. Here's the password to Amazon. Have fun. Order your own shit, kid. I'm busy. I don't know, but it's what he wanted. It's like, here's the password to Amazon. Have fun. Order your own shit, kid. I'm busy. I mean, I would never give my kids, like, a free reign of, like, Amazon. But, like, compared to, for instance,

like, Taylor Armstrong booking Malibu Vineyards and having Ace Young sing and having, like, a wine tasting, or, like, or even before that, once again, season one of Beverly Hills, Taylor Armstrong makes this huge, crazy Mad Hatter tea party, long table with all these topiaries and everything, and it's a $30,000 or $60,000 birthday party for a four-year-old girl. And they cut to briefly her daughter in a dirt patch with her friends.

And the daughter and the friends are like sitting in the dirt having fun. The party was completely for Taylor. Well, the first year she wasn't even in the dirt having fun with her friends. She was like way in the back with her nanny crying, remember? Yeah, yeah. It was the same party. She was with the nanny and then she was in a dirt patch with her friends. Oh, my God.

But the point is this. This party actually seemed like it was a kid's party, even though it was at a mansion, even though there was an orchestra. The orchestra was like RJ's strange, like, megalomaniacal birthday tyrant's dream. But, like, it wasn't like Leah was like, I've got to have an orchestra. It's like for the kids. She was like, whatever.

And, like, I actually found it to be extremely endearing, and I thought it was, like, a've got to have an orchestra. It's like for the kids. She was like, whatever. I actually found it to be extremely endearing. I thought it was a very grounded moment. Did you think that or am I just crazy? No, it was. I thought it was really funny. I thought it was very cute because it's like a typical older parent. When you really wait to have kids until you're older

and it's like you don't have to be involved in every little thing. She's not even there a lot of the time. She travels. She does a lot. It's like, listen, honey, here's the Amazon number. Here's the password. Your birthday's this day. Have it at the house. If you want in the backyard, do whatever you want. I don't care. I've got a gala. I've got the remodeling. I had to get in the car today and go to the grocery store. I had to buy milk. I had to buy cheese. I had so much going on all the time.

It's raining. There's grass on the ground. So much happening. How fun is that? I mean, that's what every kid dreams of is his mom just being like, do whatever the fuck you want. I don't care. Don't kill anybody.

Don't get anybody pregnant. Otherwise, have fun. Okay? I also like, and again, I'm not trying to just be like, oh my God, Leah's the best, again, because we have some sort of relationship with her, but I like that when it started to rain, they went inside and her house was like a disaster.

It was truly not ready for guests, and she didn't even give a shit. She was like, okay, whatever, have fun, go over and see how far the crane. Say whatever you want, if you're staying at the, okay, whatever. Have fun. Go over and see how far the crane. You know, like... Send whoever you want. If you're staying at the sand, send it down.

Yeah. Send it down. Compared to last year when Lisa, you know, like, there was an issue with the audio and she was like, my party is ruined. I can't believe you did this.

You know, it's like... You can sort of see the difference between someone who has a more experience under their belt. I guess you could say. Whoa. Sarah Sumaya Chama just posted a cannoli ice cream from Ben & Jerry's. Limited edition.

Oh, slam. Ooh, girl. Sugar cookies. Okay, so let's move on from... Oh, something else. I'm going to maybe do those Leah things like once a month because I don't want to be on there too much

but just because I really need more alone time in my life but if you were on before me would you please ask her because I brought this up last week with Matt about this Beth in Texas thing because I still don't get that and I should probably just tweet her but I don't want to embarrass her.

I don't know how to handle that. She mentioned Beth in Texas. Because she told us, when we were at her house, she said, this story came out, it's from some Beth in Texas. How am I supposed to know?

I mean, I don't know. I could have sworn she was saying she doesn't know this Beth in Texas thing. She didn't. And then last week, she was like, oh, it's my girl, Beth in Texas, here to talk about my book and make an article.

And I was like, oh, slam, did she lie to me? Because I will take that bitch down if she lied. I should have asked her last night, because Beth in Texas did come up, but from the way she was talking about it last night on the Spreecast, it sounded like it must have been a different Beth in Texas,

because she sounded like she really had no idea. She really was like, I don't know who this is. Some woman, she was saying about, she was like, some right-wing evangelical woman who has a red mask on her half of the post. You know?

I don't know. We'll get to the bottom of it. Yeah, because that's one thing, like if she is, I mean, well, I'll ask her next time. We'll get to the bottom of it. Yeah, because that's one thing. I mean, look. As we know about the Housewives, they plant stories about each other all the damn time. So it wouldn't really surprise me if Leah did tweet something

to somebody that she knew with the blog. Or she did tweet that information. She did have the paper proof. She did care enough to get the paper proof. The trouble is on stuff like this, they all do it and then it just gets uglier and uglier and more delicious and more delicious. I just hope they solve it and someone needs

to either fight or they just need to move on because it's getting old. It's the same thing every fucking week. And fucking Adriana's tits. Pleased with those things. I know. What did she put in there? It's like if you shake them up, you can watch it snow in Wisconsin. Stop it with those tits.

Those are ridiculous. They're just filled with plantains. That's all it is. A plantain ball. A big fried plantain ball. Meanwhile, so we have not seen much of Elsa this season because she had a stroke, which is very unfortunate but we had the extreme fortune and

delight to have Lisa's mother-in-law back once again for an extended period which would be Marina Hochstein and I love this old Russian bitch I love her so much I think she's hilarious I love her

there is a reason that we will always, always want to nuke Russia. And that bitch is it. Okay? That personality is like, the same way that Americans are greedy, fat, shallow,

all the shit that are just inherent to us. I mean, even the ones who aren't fat are fat inside or will be fat one day. Let's face it, you guys. Like, 80% of us. Yeah. Greedy. We're all greedy.

We're all shallow. We're all on Twitter and Facebook and all that. Those same reasons they hate us, at least the shit they hate us for, we have fun with. Those people are fucking miserable. What's up, Russia? Relax already.

You lost. Just relax. You've got beautiful things over there. You've got beautiful snow. You've got beautiful furs. Calm down. Stop being such dicks all the time. I don't know if Russia's lost just yet.

I feel like round two is about to start up. But that's a whole other issue. Here's the thing. If I had to deal with Lisa's mother on a day-to-day basis, or if I encountered her at the supermarket, I'd probably hate her. I'd hate her. But watching her on TV, I love her.

It's sort of the same thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Me too. It's like MJ's mom on Shazza Sunset. Like, awful. Like, I would never want to deal with it. Like, if I saw her at Whole Foods right by where you live, I'd be like, ugh.

Oh, my God. Where I used to live. I used to live in Little Armenia. Like, if I saw that bitch in a Ross Dress for List, I'd trip her ass. But I'm never turning the channel when she's on my TV. What I'm surprised about with Lisa and Marina

is the way that Lisa is so brazen in the way she talks about, like, um, yeah, maybe if I did this, maybe you would love me, or maybe you'd want to, like, talk with me, or maybe I wouldn't annoy you. Like, she's very open with the fact that she thinks that Marina hates her. Marina's very open with the fact that she thinks that Marina hates her. Marina's very open with hating her.

Well, but Marina's like, Oh, maybe, I don't know. Oh, let's look at these sardines. Yeah, but she never once says, Oh, honey, I don't hate you. I can't do a Russian accent, but it's really guttural. Maybe that's why I resent them. I can't do their accent.

You just speak like this. I'm Marina. Marina, what? Lenny. I can't do their accent. You just speak like this. I'm Marina. Lenny. Lenny. She never says, no, I don't say this to you. I never say this. She never says that. She's just like, hmm. Lisa's like, well, you know, why do you hate me

so much? And she's like, what? She's probably like, I lived for 40 years in the gulag and now I have to deal with Lenny's goyish wife? Well, I think even the Russian assholishness aside,

any mother's going to hate Lisa. Your husband's 20 years older than you. You're obviously not into him because of his handsome plugs. The guy looks like years older than you. You're obviously not into him because of his handsome plugs, okay? I mean, the guy looks like a rouse bag you left on the heater. Like, come on, let's be honest

now, with some gum with hair stuck to his head. I mean, come on, you're not with him because of his sparkling personality. He doesn't have anything to say. You're not with him because of his abs, because that shit's plastic. You could wash your clothes on that shit. What are you with him for? You're with him because of his money. You're some with him because of his abs, because that shit's plastic. You could wash your clothes on that shit. What are you with him for?

You're with him because of his money. You're some young whore. And she's not Jewish. She's not even Jewish. No, you're not even Jewish. You're some young whore with big old fake tits you got for free off his husband. A face no one even recognizes you from. You could be a fucking criminal, for all she knows.

No one can recognize your face. Doesn't even move. You're just obviously some stripper out for his son's money. So obviously the mom is going to hate you. So instead of being a smartass, why don't you make an effort and return the bitch's calls? At least. Yeah, that's dumb. She should return the calls.

And second of all, when they went to that Russian market and they were eating that food, I'm like, that shit looks good. Eat that shit up, okay? Don't make a face, okay, Lisa? Don't make a face about that Russian food, okay? You know what I'm saying, Lisa? Okay, Lisa! You know what I'm saying? Especially because she's making a face at a whole... She's making a face at a whole fish. Like, that's so crazy.

Like, that's so Russian. No, it's called a fish. People eat that every day, you fucking idiot. Alright? You don't have to eat it. eat it you don't take it out of the refrigerator and eat the head off that's not how it works you dumbass they cook it for you and she's like ew she's like

ew I can't believe we're eating a chicken this is like something I was raised on a farm like ew what is this beef this is where I get my milk from a farm. What is this? Is this beef? This is where I get my milk from. I can't believe we're eating beef. What is this? Celery? This was grown in the ground

and people pooped on it. That's how it was grown. Disgust. What is this? A carrot? It looks just like my skin. It's all orange. I don't eat things that look like me. Ew. Who would eat that? Yeah. Lisa. Who would need that? Yeah, Lisa... Another thing

about Lisa, like, instead of getting her own personality, basically she either brags about her husband's money, which, look, I get that... I get marriage. I get all kinds of marriage, but especially straight marriage. I get it. Especially if you've got kids.

You know, your job is being the wife, taking care of the house, taking care of the kids. This bitch doesn't have kids. What's she taking care of? She doesn't clean her own house. She doesn't do anything. All she does is sit there all day. I'm not going to sit there and listen to her brag about her money. She doesn't do anything. Like, is that really poor of me to resent that? Because it just

bugs the hell out of me that all she does is stir the pot. So then, all she does is try and stir the pot with other girls. Why is that necessary? They already hate Leah. Do you really need to bring it up right now? Do you really need to take that call

in the dress shop right now? I don't know. And what the hell is Marisol even doing here? I know. Marisol's actually really annoying me, because she does nothing except make really bad puns about Leo. Really bad.

A leo in her wizard sleeves. Oh, look at those sleeves. What has she got up her wizard sleeves? A black hat? Maybe a cat? Black. Black. What does that mean? A fucking idiot. She's like, Leah,

she's like, Leah's got blonde hair. Hair rhymes with air. And you know what? Air rhymes with fair. And fairs make me think of the circus. And circus has things like clowns. And clowns are scary. And you know what else is scary? Witches. Huh. Leah Black. Witch. Black magic. It all makes sense now.

I'm not saying anything, but... You're not funny. She's like that Lauren drag queen chick. Or not drag queen. She's a tranny. Or the drag queen. We can say it about the drag queen, too. The drag queen was on Leah's thing last night.

Hold on a second. Come on in, Michelle. Yeah, Michelle. Yeah, Michelle. It's live. It's okay. Michelle's in the background. Don't worry. She says hi, everyone. We're talking about... I know. We have to wrap this up soon because Michelle and I have an obligation.

What is it? It's called a dinner reservation. With whom? With whom? It doesn't need to be with whom. It's where. It's only Dinner Reservation. With whom? With whom? It doesn't need to be with whom. It's where. It's only at the finest restaurant in all of Palm Springs.

Chili's. Just kidding. Yeah, awesome blossom. I like that chicken sandwich there that has the fried onion strings on it. Delicious. Yeah, it's wonderful. I actually don't know if I have that much left to say about Miami. Do you have any

other things no so let's just talk about the two shows that begin tonight yes I dream of NeNe

what are your thoughts I hate these wedding shows but I think I dream of NeNe could actually be good so I'll watch it

NeNe will be confronting six of Greg's children which is going to be fucking hilarious because they're all adults and think she's a total whore so I can't it when I get back. Nini will be confronting six of Greg's children, which is going to be fucking hilarious, because they're all adults and think she's a total whore, so I can't wait to see that. I wonder what the other six think.

You know he's got like 12 children. And what'd she say? Michelle's like, who does? Who does? Because I'm on headphones, but you can't hear any of it. So I'm like... No'm like, no, no one said hi. I see who it is. Michelle, you're more than welcome to join us.

It's just me and Ronnie. Are you looking... Is this being recorded? Yeah, it's being recorded. Okay, where are you from? Michelle's just fresh from the pool. She does not want to be seen on camera. Let me see.

I mean, I have makeup on. She's... Okay. Okay, well, don't get her talking, because... Hi! Okay, hi, Ronnie, you look great. You look great. I love her.

I was just going to say don't get her talking if she's not going to come on camera because she's not going to stop. That's how Michelle is. Do you see it? She's not going to fucking stop. Watch. That's how she is. If you get her talking, she's going to just yap, yap. It's a thing. It's a tick. You see?

I told you. Okay, so what is this, the new Atlanta? New Atlanta looks like it could be good or it could be really sucky. So we'll see. We got a private message on our Facebook today saying that the guy is most likely gay. And he was on, I mean, it's a long email full of stuff, but I guess we can talk about that next week after we've actually

seen the show. So those two shows are starting tonight, so we'll definitely cover those next week, so you guys check them out and let us know what you think about them. And thank you for everybody being here. I'm looking at everybody's Facebook comments to see if there's anything juicy in here before we get going that we have to say.

There's grab, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I can't read it because you're sick of hearing me read. I'm Ronnie Karam. You can find my website, TrashTalkTV.com. We have a lot of funny recaps and stuff like that. My videos are on YouTube at YouTube.com slash TrashTalkTV, T-E-E-V-E-E. And Ben, you can find on every social network ever invented

at b-side blog you can find watch what crappens on facebook at what crappens we also do a big brother podcast and we've only got one left of the season trip that'll be posted that's tomorrow night are you doing it you're doing it

come on the last one? I'm going to be driving. You have to do the finale. If we do it on West Coast time, yes. But if it's going to be on East Coast time, no. Sorry. All right. Then I guess we'll do it.

We'll figure that out, everyone. I guess we'll... But if we do it West Coast time, are you really going to show up or are you going to cancel last second? I mean, if we do it East Coast time. You know what I mean. If we do it at 10.30 our time, can you do it? Okay, so I can.

Okay. So, our last one is tomorrow, Wednesday night. Yeah, I mean, Jesus Christ! I'm going to end up being one of those people who have to come on here alone and just look at pictures and talk about stuff. Hey! Let's play some tunes! Okay, so anyway, find us on Facebook

slash Watch What Crappens. Come on to iTunes, give us reviews. If you like us, if you don't, please don't. And is that all? Oh, and on Twitter, we're at What Crappens. And we miss you, Matt. We'll see you next time. Bye, everybody! Bye, everyone! Bye! GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer

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