Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Adventure: Alpha Fail

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

Below Deck Adventure's latest alpha douche falls on his face when he reaches for the brass ring after a ten hour nap and Faye gets angry at Lewis for being a hobbit. For our premium bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but he's not really around. Who cares what happens when there's so much that's happened? Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on your braves! I'm Yol Rani, and guess what I'm with? Yol Gorgeous, Yol Hottness, Yol Finnis, Yol Hav Hannis.

Been Mantelker, hello, Ben. Hi, how are you? Good, babe. How's it going today? What's nail in your world? Oh, you know, I learned that there's a bomb cyclone heading for California, which is very exciting. Makes for rough seas. If anyone happens to be on a boat. Yeah, you know, I didn't know bomb cyclones were even a thing until our new New Jersey show got canceled when we were there a couple of years ago. So there you go.

You know what? Oh, last year. I guess. It was this, yeah. It was last year. Yeah. So I know that was a thing. I felt like it was a new thing that people are trying to torture us with because people

have to come up with new words for everything. Okay. But you know what? It turns out it's a thing. And it's trying to torture us with because people have to come up with new words for everything, okay? But you know what? Turns out it's the thing. And it's on a swedle of sandalus. Everybody hide broken and thought, guy. A bomb cyclone coming for Los Angeles is a called, bros. A bomb cyclone or as we like to call it a gale clone. Bob Cyclone, or as we like to call it, Gail and Nealoo doing the Charleston.

Blaster Hearts. Oh, everybody, our Cheetah brand, Tuwa has been announced, okay? We're so excited to go back on tour. You can get your tickets at watchwotcraftens.com. Big thing out of there is the golden crappies our annual award shows, Very Glamorous. And this year, it's in Los Angeles, a Cali Fourniay on the 24th of February at the Wilterin Theater,

which is enormous. We're so scared. So please go buy tickets. OK, I'm not having as shame to tell you how scared I am of that. Go buy tickets. Also, we're going to be in Austin, Dallas, Phoenix, Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Salt Lake City, Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto, Philadelphia, New York, San Diego, and Washington, D.C. Go get your tickets.

They go on sale Thursday, January 5, 10 p.m. Local time is the pre-sale. A.M. A.M. Sorry, that's your local time. And the pre-sale code is the presale. I am. I am. Sorry. That's your local time. And the presale code is crap in 2020. You've got inside of information and they go on regular sale the day after, which is Friday, January 6th, Gin Sharl sentencing day. Day that we all got some laptops from Nancy Pelosi, every capital. Lots of good stuff happened on that day.

It's my sister's birthday. So join us, won't you? Won't you guys? Today, guess what we're gonna talk about. It's gonna be pretty crazy. A low dick. In Finch-a! Adventure!

The most adventurous adventure show on all the adventure TV Very Mike heavy episode today. Yeah That guy really Talks He really he really blossoms today guys. Yeah, big blossom for make Yeah, big old blossom Anything else you want to say before we get into this band? I don't. I feel like you covered everything that was exciting for the day. It was an exciting day for us. Yeah. Okay, so let's jump right into it.

Shale Lee. Second day of charter. Okay. Stronguma music. Nathan says something smells horrible. And Mike says, if think. And then we are in the middle. Like stink. Mike's smell. Mike's smell. Stig. So we're in the middle of this brew ha ha between Fay and Lewis. Deck versus stew.

And they have planned, Fay has planned this big picnic kind of a day for everybody to get together. And the people who work on the boat are gonna compete against the people who are just like the dumb Americans, okay? Which this week we've got some real, Hey, buddy.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Just what the doctor ordered right? Hey, what are we going to fly this plane? It's like that. Yeah, we got a guy. Yeah, we got a big ol' yoga bear type guy who's the primary. Yeah, I guess because we didn't recap last week. But here's what happened last week. These people came on board. There was chaos in the galley where Jess was like, not now, Captain. And then she was like, I feel you're so ashamed of myself for having spoken to the captain that way.

And then, yeah, and then here we are. Yeah, she got mad at the service girls also because everything was a mess as usual. And it's like, oh, simply, it cannot be about this. And you know, it's just breakdowns where she acts like she's going to murder someone and then she just says things like, well, I am frustrated. And then she like puts her angle over her head, you know, deep breathes. Yeah. Well, she also, she also did something incredibly, incredibly scandalous, which is that when she delivered food to the table, she said, I actually read the preference sheet. They're like, oh, how do you say that? Yeah, let's talk about that for a minute because they were delivering dinner. She tells them all right

Sydney gets the gluten free so and so is the vegetarian Remember this and face like Remember it and then they had the food to all the wrong damn people So just gets mad and makes that comment in front of everyone. And then the little shitster, or he honest like, she talked like that to you in front of everyone. They you should not stand for that. And so she's getting paid more worked up. And then pay tells just I didn't appreciate you talking to me back then from the get to just seem stupid in the prayer for you. But she's furious about it. Well, guess what,

Fay, learn your people's names and what they get. It's like the first thing in service. And you know, I love me some Fay. I hope phase that she's due for all eternity. I love her on every show. Okay. But you're on the wrong on this one. I love Fay also. So I wasn't really that mad about Fay because I was I was so on the face side about the other issue of the episode, which is like you said, it's one of these,

oh, the crew and the guests are going to square off. By the way, if I'm going on a yacht, I'm not the last thing I'm doing is a field day with the crew. It's not about them being, I just don't wanna do a field day. I'm not playing tug of war on my luxury yacht vacation. You know what I'm doing?

I'm drinking cocktails and checking my email because I love checking email or Instagram more accurately. But I'm doing calling the hotel reservation line or the front desk and saying, why are your pillows like this? Why? Yeah. Do you think I'm sick? Do headless people come in here and sleep often because some of us have heads and we need to rest them on better pillars make it happen Yeah, I would play a tan with the with the crew like if there's some board games and we need some people and the crew has to play board games with us I'm down and I would ask for a feed of that so I could mock you from the comfort of my bed with the media propeller I would give you that feed. This is all about providing joy.

So the point is this, there was an understanding, that understanding, not understanding meant that's a word, is an understanding man, that they were going to paraglie, they'd jump, everyone jumps off'd jump by the wall, everyone jumps off the side of the mountain, which seems safe. And they land in a field, and then in the field, they're gonna have food, and then square off against the team.

But at the same time, Lewis has sort of brought on this giant obstacle course, it's in the shape of an iceberg. And so, Faye wants to do the field day, Lewis wants to the obstacle course, it's in the shape of an iceberg. So, Fay wants to do the field day, Lewis wants to the obstacle course. And basically, what happens is that Lewis and her past progressive protest doesn't send a single deck hand to help out with the picnic. And so, the stews are doing everything and Jess is carrying all her shit while the deckeys are on the boat like eating food and laughing and joking.

And you know what, Lewis is on the top of my shit list. Yeah, Lewis sucks, but then today, I kinda stand out for Lewis. So, you know, these shows, that's what they do to your brain. They must your brain up. So we're in the middle of all this. Bay has had nobody to help her and now she's supposed to do this group field day thing and nobody's there. And plus Casey has left. She's taken upon herself

to go with Jess back to the boat. So if they call us about, excuse me, I'm going to have a team field day, but there's no team here. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do. I've bought my bright red lipstick and my hair, sock when I did? Someone got here. So Lewis is like, wait, I'm supposed to be there. I'm sure. Yes. And did you not see the previously where you clearly agree to come on this field trip? And he's like, all right, me and two lads can come over right now.

And she goes, yes, and could you please bring Casey with you? Thank you. right now and she goes yes and could you please bring Casey with you thank you and Captain Kerry says Stoos and Dick Hansel was here to trouble so if they can't work it out themselves I'm getting involved and if I'm getting involved all the time I've hired the wrong people They've have hired the wrong people. I'm on the wrong boat if I'm on the wrong boat I'm in the wrong profession if I'm in the wrong profession well you see where this goes the wrong boat. I mean, the wrong profession. If I'm in the wrong profession, well, you see where this goes.

Form in the wrong profession. When the wrong job, if I'm in the wrong job, I'm not making money. If I'm not making money, guess what? There's not. But Fincha. So, hair gliding landing site. First of all, this is terrifying. I don't know you people. You're going to just tell me to hang on a rope and jump off a mountain and I'm supposed to trust that this balloon thing is gonna pop up. No. That's not gonna happen. That's insane. It looked too great. There's like no support going on there and like it was like a weird tandem where it seemed like they weren't even tandem was like they just go running off this cliff. I was like enjoy that. Enjoy that unnatural place in the world that you are at,

okay, in the middle of the sky. With, like, no, I'm not doing that. Yeah, enjoy death, okay? Enjoy death. And listen, we're all gonna die at some point. And I always tell myself, don't be afraid. You get to go to bed. You know what I mean?

So that's what, that's my advice to you, paragliders. So no one has ice and face stressing out trying to figure out where everybody is. And so one of the guests Tracy picks up a megaphone and she's like, excuse me. Can I get some eyes please? I think I did it, guys. I think I mean, while you're, you know, face going to be institutionalized, but the fucking megaphone down. I want no more megaphone on Bravo. So meanwhile, the the decans, of course, there's, they're of course they're like just penguins running into each other. And so Mike is like, Nathan hiking boots, where mine, where mine go, hiking boots, missing. What's you doing, Nathan? Nathan's like getting snack and water and says like, uh, where do you guys go?

And you guys are going out there for a field. Is it all the guys? Is it all the guys? And there's just like everyone but you, put your head down to rest. It's like, yeah, I need to rest up. Be hot by that alone. A hot alpha man who could accomplish anything.

Just chillin' in bed. Good night, Jens. I know. And he gets into his bed and it says 10, 10 hours until Seth's shift. So he just gets into bed. And then meanwhile, everyone is like, you know, they're trying to get their, the deck team is trying to get to the, the, the site and Lewis's grumbly.

He's like, this is such a waste of time. He's being all grumbly because he wants everyone to do his obstacle course and everything. They finally get there like an hour later, it seems like and then it's like fun and games, it's like Team USA versus Team non USA, it is a tug of war, all that all that stuff. And just what we love to see, you know, Team USA being like,

so good, you're up, right? You were saying you were saying, give me a burger. It's got like a hat with a beer on top and a straw that comes down to some mouth. I'm like, you guys, do you have to be this mortifying every time? I know, seriously. Meanwhile, Captain Kerry's just on the boat,

the nocklers looking at the shorting, oh yeah. So we've got some goats, mate. They're just hanging out, being goats. That's cool. Doing what goats do, being goats. So basically, well God helped me, they've arrived. And we're a Gets team USA,

and built on GMOs and hormone injected beef. And I've got a team full of hobbits. So yeah, that goes. So then Jess is in the galley and she's just preparing something because I love it when I have the boot myself with the constant chaos of the galley and work and working and living with the chiefs to I'm just not feeling like myself. So fair being off the boat. A little bit gives me space to breathe for me to make a small platter of fruit it is. Finally, some time alone to boil linguine. So, they start playing and phase like trying really hard to make her game day the funnest. You're the most fun, rather. So, she's's like jumping around saying this is so much fun isn't it?

that's a fact, you're supposed to pull up the ball with the bit, it's a wonderful time. Lewis pull it together, could you try to not blew it? I just think it's family day and you should smile on family day. You want to proud, give you something to grab at Lewis? I would have been this cold I R2 wants to play around us. I don't you mean baseball? Yeah? Non-American. Yes. Yes. Okay. I'm up and she holds the baseball bat like a badman rack It's just sort of stands like her whole face face picture with a mat like out to the side. I'm ready.

I'm around. It's like, why is she holding the bat like that? And main guy is like, this is fucking nuts, this is America's sport, all right? I'll throw this ball when you give me a satisfaction, freedom fries, Euro trash. So that finishes the Lewis, like, thank God that's finished. I've got better things to do on the boat. So they all head back and they're excited for this whole big obstacle course, you know, and of course the primers, like, hey, Captain, we missed you today. Oh, it was absolutely ridiculous. Ah, yeah, USA, USA.

And Casey and Mike stay back to finish packing everything for the picnic. And Casey's like, hey, you want to play hard and seek in the grass. And he's like, uh, me sit, you pay. So she gets down on her hands and he's in the middle of the tall grass, starts crawling around. And then jumping up and going,

Marco, hello, Marco, Polo. Me, Michael, you, KCO. No, it's not how that works, Mike. Mike, oh, no, Mike. He's like, we share a bunk. We cuddle. Maybe no work. Hard cold. Mike play game too. Mike play hard to get. Mike getting hard. No, wait. Mike confused. Mike, My confused my exactual innuendo my accidents Hey Casey We get on be done with charade, which is like do you mean Sharad? I'm using charade

Even the caveman is your fake ass knows how to say charades Casey, okay So Ariana's like hi who wants anC, okay. So, Ariana's like, hi, who wants an expresso, Martini? I'm like, uh, of course she's my girl. Of course. So, they're unloading stuff and Nathan's like, Kasey, you look like a mom

who just got kicked out of the house. Ha ha ha. Wow, because she's carrying so much stuff. Like, wow, we had to put it. So then the guest likes, yeah, if you guys win this one, you've got 800 cash today. Someone's like, okay, and then meanwhile, Jess is talking about what she's going to make for dinner. She goes, I'm making pasta.

I'm going to do lobster and halibut for the hell of it. Ha ha ha ha. So Lewis comes out and he explains this golf course, obstacle course, and if you follow the fenders, you're done. So face like, it's not doing the obstacle course, it's getting my hair wet, getting my makeup smudged, that is 800 bucks,

you've got to do what you've got to do. So she is first and they've got all these fenders set up kind of in a ramp formation. And she just wants to help write them and scales up the side of this inflatable ice cap. And I was like, yes, I put my money on the right girl. Yeah, that was wild because it sort of set up like a wipeout. Is that the name of the show or like splash out or something whatever it is? And I was like, oh, this will be bad for a fake because you know face thinking if my hair gets wet my hair comes down And if my hair was done, would they ever know I'm even astute?

So Would it even be an adventure? Lots of existential crises on crises on this episode so far. So then everyone, everyone based, it's like the obstacle course and most people are actually pretty good at it. Nathan just like speeds all the way up in and does a crazy jump off of it. And then Fay is like, well, I can't believe it. The Hoppins actually win this one.

I'm like, yes, I've been juicy the load of the rings. The Hoppins win. That's how it happens. So then the captain's like, well, I'm jawning for dinner tonight. Don't worry, I've mentioned it to chef already. And then we'll see a clip of him going, I'm coming to dinner tomorrow night. So you're coming to dinner. I'm wonderful. So then the guests get ready for dinner and now begins the deflating of the ice cap. Yes, that's, yeah, which is exactly as it sounds. It's watching

a large inflatable toy deflate. So then while that's happening, Jess says, well, could very well be her real housewives tagline, focus people because she says that's happening, just says, what could very well be her real housewives tagline? Focus people. Cause she says that every episode, like, it doesn't matter what's happening. All right, I need everyone to focus people, focus people, I have a cheese straw that needs to be plated, focus.

Last night was a nightmare. I'm desperate for things to go well tonight. And then we cut to the still deflating ice cap. I mean, Casey's like, OK, guys, when you're ready, you can back your bike to the table. And so the guests go up and sit, and then we get the iceberg timer. It's like iceberg time elapsed.

17 minutes. We should also mention, by the way, as long as we're talking about timers, Seth has been in bed all this time. It's been now like six or seven hours, and he's just been in his bedroom. Captain America needs his rest, Ben. Apparently he does. It's time for commercial.

It's time for a crap and scum. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.

Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So Faye goes to Jess and she's like,

um, Jess, can you sit down now? She's at the table. I didn't make him food. I see two of you. He told me yesterday, but he didn't confirm. Well, it's confirmed he's having foods. Oh, hold on a second. Let me show my just me.

Shrug. What will I do? I have all this extra food in a pot. How will I ever serve him? Well, you can just use that food. Yes, but it needs sauce. You need all of that. Like, where we can pull little bits of sauce off of that portion onto this one. I see. I just am so desperate for proper serving of soul so each one of these but tonight it shall not be. I can't work like this.

So then the iceberg still being deflated and Lewis is like, well I don't know what today it's too big for the last. We'll have to put it in the tender. So then Kerry is doing that fan to I don't know why people ask to sit with the captains like is it ever really fun I don't think it's ever been fun. I mean captain Sandy at least pulls some sort to solei Saddam who's saying you know running from pirate shit out of a Rasp but these other ones captain carries like listen to the hardest part of anchor in here. We can't do it Because we've got deep water here and in deep water the anchor won't reach and they're just staring at him like Oh

Where there are any boobs do you see a lot of boobs on arm down there? Yeah, if you see every good of a corn of a lot of tide and get on one of those machines with a claw and try to pick up a Stuffed animal or imagine the claw is your anchor. And the stuffed animal is the piece of land. You can put the anchor. Yeah, think about that. First second now. Now we're talking about adventure. Man, tell me this, when everyone's off the boat, you're just standing here alone looking at the majestic landscape we've been gifted by God. How do you see a goat? What do you think the goat's doing? I don't fucking know.

What goats do mate? What goats do? So Seth still asleep, still asleep four hours in fellowship. So it's been six hours that he's been asleep. And then Jess comes out and she's like, just start this evening. You have homemade Ligawini with lobster. Enjoy.

I spoke breakdown one hour, 10 minutes. So the guys were like, oh yeah, we are gamblers. We're at me and him, we gamble on which way the sun comes up in the morning. That's what kind of guys we are, the gambling gang. All right, well, I thought I would bore you guys at years with my goat commentary, but it looks like it goes the other way around. Okay, so the iceberg breakdown, one hour and 27 minutes.

So nothing's like, okay, okay, let's do my way because I'm like two steps ahead. It's like, okay, okay, let's do my way because I'm like two steps ahead. It's like a Bill Gates thing I've got. I'm like Bill Gates. You're folding up a fucking deflatable iceberg, sir. You're no Bill Gates. I'm about to say Bill Gates famous for his work and folding inflatable objects. Famous deckmopper Bill Gates. Famous pool boy Bill Gates. Yeah. So next delivery.

So Jess kind of messes up a dish and Fei in front of her goes, oh, just, oh, yeah, I don't give the primary that one. Oh, I didn't mean that's bad. It's just not just good to see others. Eee-e-e-e! And just just gives this look like, die, die woman. Well, you're the one who's saving Hobbit food. So, Iasberg Breakdown has now reached the two hour mark.

And there's the case he needs help down in the bedrooms because they're not gonna be done in time because everyone's eating quickly, I guess. So she needs Orianna's help, uh, but Orianna's serving, and then they, like, they're, they're stretched in, so Fei is ready-wing for someone to come help say anyone. Exterior crew with desperate for help. Desperate. How dare you use the word desperate. That's my word. You shall not say desperate when I'm on board. Okay, okay, but either way we are in terrible need of some help Could someone please blue is please

Everyone please we're basically Lewis's hair cut over here desperate for help Someone please and we see towels all over the ground and everybody's running around and Lewis is Lewis is like I'm sorry, Faye, but we're still putting up the obstacle course. And the family decades has it takes a food and I speak. Which is true, but I don't think there's been a service yet where Faye has been able to get through with just your staff, which we not normally see on these shows. You know, you see the, you see the debt crew helping out a little bit, but not every time. True, although he has a literal whole other person on his crew who has just been in bed for 10 hours. And like I understand, I understand that the guy needs sleep and

he also just flew into Norway. I get all of that. But also it's, it also, he is in that room for 10 hours doing nothing while like the most chaotic parts of the charter are happening. And those yokels are taking two hours to deflate a fucking iceberg. I know. Just set it a drift and hope it floats back to whoever rented it out to them in the first place. So Fagus, down to the galley, just asks if everything is okay and she's like, well really, if the boys were to their finger on the asses and help us, it wouldn't be like this. Iceberg breakdown, two hours from 17 minutes. We, of course, by the way, we should also, when we say

iceberg breakdown, we're of course talking about an emotional breakdown. I think it's very important to underline that. The iceberg is like, I just, you know what, it's like I'm an ice berg every day and like no one ever asked how I feel. I'm just out here. People climb all over me. But, you know what, it's like, what am I? No one says thank you. Well, yo, I can't deal with this anymore. I don't want to be an iceberg anymore. I want to be a doctor. Why can't I be a doctor? And Faye tells us she loves Lewis as a person, but not as a person. And then we see Seth waking up two hours before his shift. carry basically, you know, everybody's like switching around getting ready for bed.

And the iceberg is still not put away. And Lewis goes, well, I hate to leave you guys, but my shift finished two hours ago. Good night. I was like, really? You can't leave. You're the boss. You can't leave them with this. You don't even know how you're gonna put it away.

Yeah, and by the way, Seth did not wake up two hours before his shift. I think that was Lewis, I think, because Seth wakes up at 149 a.m. and I guarantee they were not folding that at 149 a.m. So I'm only saying that not to correct you, but to highlight how much time Seth spent in his room. Yeah, he's except a long time.

Or I read it down wrong, you know, that's more, that's the more possible. No, but I'm saying I'm not, I'm not doing this to call you out for that. I'm doing it because it's like, I feel like it almost makes, I don't like Seth getting credit for being awake for two hours that he was not awake and not helping.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So, Kerry Hudson asked, good night. Lewis goes to bed, which I can't believe. And Mike's like, Oh, this like Titanic. Yeah, I spoke. I spoke. We've slid whatever. Leore, whatever are.

So face like, man, thank God they went to bed. I'm exhausted. So now it's 1.49 a.m. and Seth is in the mess. And Mike's like, this hard day, you four dollars. It's like, yeah, full towel. You rolled you rolled dollars. Yes, yeah, I can probably roll towels better than everybody on this fucking boat. Shut up, sad.

God, you're such an asshole. What a than everybody on this fucking boat. Shut up, sad. Oh my God. You're such an asshole. What a douchebag this fucking guy is. And I'm glad his ass is handed to him in this episode. Are you really going to measure a dick by how well you can roll a towel for crying out loud? That's got such a dick. I could even deed their jobs. So Mike's like, whoa, slow towel roll.

So Mike's like whoa slow towel roll Seth is like yeah the night shift sucks all shifts suck Just like yeah, I'm just mentally struggling. Oh Oh, sorry, I was about to do a mic thing and I realized it wasn't Mike's line But Mike probably went oh Seth is like it's a sign of terrible management. The most experienced guy is the one on night shaft. I mean, it's Lewis threatened by me because my experience towers of a Lewis. Your experience sleeping because that's always in you.

This is also like bus boys fighting. You know what I mean? What's the end goal? What you're being a dick for what? What do you win? You know, it's like a zone game of thrones. Little Italy. Yeah, you haven't been on the boat long enough to come. I actually believe that Louis is a terrible boss in. Like I'm actually, I actually agree with everything Seth is saying,

but you're coming on too hot. Like you gotta actually, you gotta be mismanaged before you complain about the mismanagement, okay? You've been asleep, which I guess is mismanagement in and of itself, but still. So we see him doing his nightly duties alone on deck walking around like doing some cleaning, then doing push-ups, then he'll put a cover on furniture, then he does does the bicycle on a chair. So alpha broad. He's like, guess what I hate? Lewis and seed oils. So now it's 7 a.m. it's breakfast. Anchors coming up anchor in the pocket and people are ordering eggs, manidicks and one lady orders her X-Menedict with a Ruggla and then it arrives in the primary

goes hey there's your Ruggla, a Ruggla in the house. I was like oh yeah they really made a story out of the Saruggla. She's like yeah I have X-Menedict but with a Ruggla. And she had X-Menedict but with a Ruggla. I brought your X-Menedict with a Ruggla. There's your Ruggla. Holy shit is that a Ruggla? Is that rocket? Let us. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right.

That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right.

That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right.

That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's right, that's right. That's righting in brosundit marina because that's where the brosif Seth is gonna try and take down Lewis So they're coming in sets on the bow. He's gonna he's gonna like They're docking and he's like all right the winds coming directly from this direction and Lewis like I think Seth said the wind is coming in his direction and then Carrier is like you know what when it comes to talking there's some on names with Seth because he's needed the boat but he has to communication

issues last time everybody needs to be on point furthermore I love myself like God those goats are wonderful. You gotta see them. You'll see them on the side there doing what goats do best being a goat. And so whether they get to, oh my God, he's going sideways. He's going sideways. We're gonna crash. Oh my God, look how close he is now.

This is literally not done, done, done. And they make it. It's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Parallel parking that though. I do feel bad for a carry. Yeah, it's fine. Parallel parking that boat. I do feel bad for a carry. That is a tight spot.

I mean, I can't even... Parallel, how does one parallel park about, especially in a tiny little Norwegian fishing marina that does not clearly not meant for yachts? Literally... Don't care. What? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That was the goat. That was the goats on the side. No one goes like, there's a yacht. What's a yacht doing in here? And the other one's like, literally, don't get it back. So Gary's

like, wow, wow, Seth did a great job. It's great having someone experience, look, Seth. And face like, ladies, let's look our best for guest to purchase. Like what shade ready you gonna wear the red is available. I love the running storyline of red lipstick for good vibes. It kills me. Gotta put on a red lip, you know. So that's goodbye. Goodbye.

Here's your tip in an envelope, all that stuff. And then followed by cleaning. And now it's time for the tip meeting. So it carries like off the bit. I want to welcome Seth the board. First trip mate, really happy with how you're assimilating amongst your sheets and pillows. I can see a very valuable asset for the Casper company

that wants to see how their mattresses feel. So congratulations. If any Prypers need a white, I know who to call. And it's like, would I like to say, when we do picnics, we need more manpower. There weren't enough hands helping, helping hands help together, holding hands, helping hands. No one else is in red lipstick, which is also something we need to discuss. And Lewis is like, I think it's a slap in the face at this moment.

I mean, we just finished what we're trying to relax to criticize, so just shut up. Like, well, I actually, I mean, like I actually think it was oddly enough appropriate because if she just had to Lewis, he would just not have said like usual and then ignore her. Obviously, the only way people get things done with Lewis is that they go above his head

or make a public display of something. Yeah, just this guy. Also, this is literally the place where you criticize. It's a team meeting. It's a team meeting. It's a note, something in the room. It's a note. It's so, Oriana's like,

we have like another hour and a half of work. So if you can help, that would be great. And so it's like, I can help. I'll be there. We're the fastest fucking helper you've ever seen. These rooms are sparkle at the top of the crest of building. Orianna's like, great. That's not even the tallest building in New York City,

but good for you. I don't think calling out the deck team in front of everyone during a tip meeting is like going to be effective. I think that will be after like raised people up like literally I brought stills for everyone. So if you want to just try one on, see how you do. Okay, I'll give you chips. I'm gonna ride Seth's shoulders because he's tall. So then Lewis is a furious, but they get a 20 gram tip and carries like, ain't best for last. Oh, I arranged the day off tomorrow where you go on your own. Anyone? Um, it's going to be a trip to a resort where we can drink cocktails all day and relax

and just finally unwind. Hey, Vinci. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, I'm says like so that's awesome because I'm in adrenaline junkie. Dare me to do something. Dare me. Hey, take me to Mars. No, I don't want to talk about that. I'm pretty serious, just like, uh,

you want to go to Mars? Yeah, it's one of my dreams. To captain a spaceship to Mars, it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen, guys. Hey, I have, so for Mr. Drillin, Junkie, I have a deer. Okay, I have a deer for something you can do. Wake up. Get out of bed. Get out of bed.

Feel the adrenaline rush of opening your eyes and helping out on the boat. So they clean, clean, clean, clean, and Lewis and Mike are in their bedroom. And Lewis is like, how would you fancy a walk in the park? Fancy, you talk weeny, you're weeny, fancy, I'm man walk, you're fanny, weeny, me maca polo. So, so then Seth FaceTime's his who were like, clearly, I don't know, they're like at like the Disney, Disney World Resort in Hawaii or something. And she's like, hey, what's going on? So, yeah, there's some people on this boat. I'm not so sure about socks coming in as a deck hand when I'm actually a captain like uh-huh. Listen, this two-for-one happy hour over at the at the goofy's Guadalupe Cantino over there. So can you hurry this conversation up?

No, I think that he clearly got this stuff from his parents because he's like, yeah, sex coming in as a deckhand, it's been humbling and his dad goes, don't forget, you were a captain. He's like, yeah, dad, I won't let anybody forget. I'm kept instead. I can do anything dad We're winners and that we're winners. I was like, oh my god, this fucking family, you know This is the most obnoxious family on the block like anytime anybody gets together to play every anything the dad's like Don't you forget you little fuck we're winners All right now hand me that marker. We're playing Pictionary. You know, it's like, uh, uh, the sun, the sun rise, that it's a, it's a sun.

It's a sun. It's a, it's a person with hair that's taking out the side of their face. No, it's, it's a, oh, it's a, it's a light. It's a light. It's a headland. It's a headland. Oh, I don't even know why they call this family day because I got no family. Dad, come back. Come back, fam. A real son would have guessed that my picture was obviously a picture of a harp. Ah, so close, dad. So Mike and Lewis have their walk and Lewis is like,

how would you like to go to the ice cream pavella? Francie! Me like cream, me like ice. When I like Mike, he's my buck make me and Mike's like you think Orianna and this is like well I'm very work focused I don't think about Orianna at all actually but I do like her. I hope she feels the same about me. What about you and Casey? She gives me funny look sometimes and I'm like what? And he goes she intense Me Casey workout. Why no?

What worst can happen? Mike need love too Mike play game Mike hard get Mike want found. So. Have you just ripped the head off of that rat with your mouth? It ice cream.

That's rat. That screams the thing in your hand. Oh, fan. Marco. Marco. No, that's not how you play the game, Mike. Keep looking at it. Marco. No, that's not how you play the game, Mike. People working at it. Marko. Sancie.

Marko. Sancie. Okay, Mike. The key is that when I say Marko, you're supposed to say Polo, you're not supposed to pick up a rat and bite its head off or do I'm sure that the town appreciates you taking care of the German population. So, um, Fae sees Seth and they're stripping the bad. And she's like, Casey, look in there,

Seth is stripping the bads. Well, I can read men. He wants in my mickers. That's why he wants to be. Um, I don't think you you realize you were even there watching, but that's okay. I think he was just doing it because he's like, there's militaristic a little just like clean beds. Even when he's not around, even when he's not in a bed, he wants to be around. Listen, he knows he's going to be sleeping in each and one of those beds. He wants to make it as clean as possible. Okay.

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap in commercial. So then Lewis is talking to Seth. Um, uh, talking about Seth, uh, and how Seth likes to advertise his like experience. It's like, you know, that sunk him, you know, made him look a little bit insecure. I think I've got to be careful with Seth. It's like, Oh, Lewis, you're being ridiculous. And then I think I've got to be careful with Seth. It's like, oh Lewis, you're being ridiculous. And then cut the step. Walking into Captain Kerry's office being like, hey, so how's Lewis doing on deck?

It's a sincere question because I really slept through most of my shift, so I really have no idea. Well, to be fair, I can't see much past his bangs when he's standing in front of the window, but I'll think, Fawn, what do you mean? Well, from what I've seen, I mean, he can can do it but I think it can be done it a much higher level. I bring a lot to the table. I can definitely run us to the finish line at a way higher level. Oh excuse you. Get the fuck out of here. He should have been fired right there. Who fucking does that? That is the snakeiest lowest shit I've seen in a long time on this. It is so snagged. And the thing is this, I believe

him. Like, but sir, you got to, you just have to like sit back and let Lewis be the disaster that he is. But by him doing this, it is so snaky and so shitty like, he, wow. Like this, this was his to take. I firmly believe he just, he's two charters. I don't believe it. I don't believe it because I find that people who are like this who are constantly insisting how great they are, always suck, always, every single time. The higher they talk about themselves, the more they suck.

So I'm hoping that he has a huge fail and it's embarrassed on national TV. So my personal wish for myself. I want that too, but I personally thought based on his resume and everything, and based on Lewis being relatively inept, that like all he had to do was like sit back for a few charters and then it would just have worked out. But the fact that he's like so aggressive about that on the surprisingly cutthroat season, I mean, you got Orianna, you got Lewis playing his game. They're all like trying to climb up their own inflatable iceberg. And

it's just like, dude, you got to chill out. Like, you've shown your true colors in there. Terrible. Well, that's not cool. And I love that Carrie did not get away with it at all because I feel like that alpha shit works on other guys, you know, they're like, oh my God. He's the most confident. And if he's coming after, oh my God, he's the most confident. And if he's coming after, he's job, maybe he'll try coming after mom. If I don't give him what he wants, because you know, that's what Seth's going to start doing.

Like, well, I was a captain, I would not run shit like this if I was a captain. This would not be happening. You know, that's what guys like that do. So, um, Kerry is like, well, I brought you in as a dick and you're going to fulfill your duties as a dick-kinned. If I was established that there's a bit of golf at the job, I'll make that decision. He's like, okay, okay.

All right. That approach usually works. So he was like, you know, making quarter pounders a month ago, you know it. This guy just has a confidence to rise him up. It's a little odd. I mean, you took a job as a deckhand. So it's a little odd the way he's going about it. But anyway, meanwhile, Kacey is talking to Mike.

And she's like, oh, I press, are going gray. Because Mike stressed. Mike too much rat cream. Still think work harder that can't and says like don't fight with him bro you're never going to win that battle and Mike's like I like container container don't talk. In case he's just giving him this look like I gotta hate him.

So I enjoy Mike. He's funny. But I kind of wish he was like on a container ship right now. Like just be as quiet as possible. Marko! Not now. So then Lewis and Ariana get into bed together. More like Ariana gets into Lewis's bed and they start making out. And now it's the morning. Lewis and Orianna get into bed together. More like Orianna gets into Lewis's bed and they start making out.

And now it's the morning. And they have to wake up. I would be so mad having to wake up. I'd be ready at 8 a.m. for the adventure that's planned on my day off. I would be furious. So they go and they have to, they hop on a boat called a Fjord Explorer,

which I kind of laughed at that pun. And then Orianna is like, guys, I'm fine with any adventure, but I just don't like any heights. Okay, I'm excusing this, but that's going to be my storyline for today. So try something else. I'm just a girl trying to hold onto a rope. Um, and I like Jess. She's like, I haven't worn a backpack since nursery school.

I love Jess the bad ass just walking through high school, carrying like every single book. No, no, please, nothing to carry these books. I shall have these tombs in my arms, and the muscles gained from them will remind me of the strength my mind is gaining. The struggle is my destiny. Book number one. F struggle is my destiny. Book number one,

Fetuccini. So the Nathan, they're on the boat and Nathan's breathing in the air. And he's like, in no way the air is so clean. Like imagine you have this nice fluffy pillow that you would love to smell every time you lay your head on it. Just imagine a whole country, hey, he said, what are you doing? Oh, there's a fluffy pillow in here. You're laying your head on my metaphor. It's so fresh. So, Oriana's like sleeping on Lewis's lap and face just staring at them. And she's like, hmm, I think Oriana's lonely. I don't think she looks at him and wants to look as close as she clothes off, shall we say? And then they arrive and she's still just staring at them like, quills. Disgusting. Yeah. It's just like to be fair, I don't know too many people that want to rip off the clothes off, Lewis, but that's mainly because of the hair. So then there's no new

shots of Bonnie Rebel, and that's a reason for that. I mean, even if you go on to Google Images and do a search for Barney Rebel cartoon porn, no one's even tried it. It's just not there. The only cartoon penis on Bornhab that's been blocked with a black bar. You know, one interrupt the close-off of Lewis is like taking a bandit off your thumb. It's just not a particularly exciting experience. I'm packing chicken breasts. You do have to watch your hands afterwards.

So they go zip lining and they have to put on all this gear and face like, don't best to my poop. They're inflatable. And it's zip lining time. They get some teachers and she does the whole thing the whole way like, I can't believe it. I'm climbing. I would never climb. My hair, my makeup. Yeah, and they get to this one part and the guy is like, welcome to good Braunstreet, to Luginflag, and you can you giveke, a lave, a little bit out, which of course is Norwegian for.

He'll say, well, wonderful. Just guess I definitely have the need for speed. I grew up driving motorbikes. I'll take this stress over the stress the girls give me any day. Mm-hmm. Do you know how difficult it was? Driving that motorbike to school at nine years old, balancing all my books in my right hand

and steering spoon in the other. Using my tipitose, steer the bike. It's unbridled power in my lawns. Menacing steer into my chest. I definitely have the need for speed. So it's freaking out. It's freaking out. Like I can, I can't.

And everyone's like, you can do it, thanks, thank you, you can do it. And Mike goes, you fall, you die. Well, thank you very much, caveman Mike. Good Lord. Yeah. So they all take the plunge into the water. Thank you very much caveman Mike Good Lord So they all like take the plunge into the water. It's like okay, Mike you can do it now. What? Marco Huh Mike we're in the water this is

Marco huh fancy So then Nathan gets in and he goes, oh, this water, it tastes so fresh. It's like, what does poor guy, everything's fresh. He loves his freshness, this guy. He loves freshness and he's always cold of notice. So then phase like, no, no, every day when you have to do something that scares you, like, you know, talking to Mike, I'm pretty shocked. I've done nothing but magazines, people all season.

Here they are supporting me. I love that. I'm gonna love it. Let's see, I've got 20 more minutes of loving it before I decide I don't love it anymore. So back on the boat, there's a card from Kerry, Britain, like a two-year-old, I mean, wow. You know, sometimes it's okay to ask a PA

to write these things down. Like, I'm not expecting a letter from the first lady, but Jesus, Kerry, he's like, you're the boss, you're a clue, and then I have. Like, you haven't accent it was so bad. Ha, ha, ha. See, what you do is you download some of those fonts that look like handwriting,

and that way no one will ever know. You print that out. I get the Marie font. Even Comic Sans at this point. So I set up this spread and so Lewis is like, come on, go ahead. He's like in a musical. He's like, come on, put on a shirt man. There's a real smart spread up.

Say, I said, everyone put on a shirt. Put on a nice shirt, everyone. And so that's like, hey, Faye, can I take you out to dinner? She's like, of course I've never I take you out to dinner? She's like, of course, I've never been inside of a mattress showroom before. I can't wait. So they all arrive upstairs, like they're on Love Island, you know, like arriving two by two, and they're all sitting there. And course might have been like ugh, me, bub, me, and a jazzjohn. Well, I'd like to say at every crew meal

which should be thankful for something. So I'll start. I want to thank you all for getting me through it. I saw how much you cared for me today and each other and red lipstick. Orianna, I don't think I've even noticed. And Lewis is like- I'd also like to say thank you in advance for agreeing to clean the galley which you most

all certainly will agree to. So I look forward to a very clean galley later this evening. Thank you. And Lewis is like, well, it was nice to have a day where we could all interact without being so busy on deck, all the interior. And she's like, oh, how dare he crack a joke about me not being able to do my job properly. Well, I'm never, I'm going to get up and walk two feet away from the table. And he goes, because you know when FaZe busy, you can't have a nice chit chat. Oh, well, really. Was that comment needed?

Because I'll tell you one thing, that comment is like a purple stick of lip. You don't need it. Red only. So, now they're all clearing the plates. Captain Kerry, listen, I love you. You're hot. Why the fuck would you give them a catered dinner that they had to clean up themselves?

That's not a gift. We're gonna get to clean. Yeah, this, no. No, no, no, I return. I return this gift. You have to wake up early, then you have to take like three, you have to take a van to go to the fjord explorer

and go down the waterway and then hike up a mountain and then jump into cold as water and then go all the way back to have you know chillies and then clean it up yourself. That is not a day off. Yeah, it's that. So Lewis wants to go to the hot tub but everyone else is kind of tired and Feywats into the stew galley and it's a mess of course. There's just dishes everywhere. No one took out the trash. And she's like, people think that I'm all of you. Now do is. Before hot tub or anything, the stew pantries are mess. And I have had enough. And he's like, what? He tells us, why are you telling me what to do? I'm enjoying my day off. No, fair.

So he gets to have a day off, but she doesn't. So Lewis is, and so he's like, fair can't expect us to clear up and wash all the cutlery. So he gets into the heart tub with Seth, and he's like, they think we're doing nothing. But we're trying to hope so much. Like, could I have been any more helpful the other day when I kept all four of us on the boat

while they did the picnic by themselves? I do so much for them. So much, I mean, two hours we spent too fleeting something and I went to bed early. He's still not helping. God, we just do so much. Maybe we should make Faye Decki for the day just so she knows what it's like.

Like I'm sure she'd fucking love that, folding something for two hours and going to bed. She's in. Yes, she would do it. So Seth goes, Hey, I've got a question for you. This is the first time I'm thinking about it now that I said it, totally the first time I thought about it. But what if the lead deck hand, what if I were the lead deck hand and I helped you out,

you know, and Lewis is like, would you like to be the lead deck hand and I helped you out, you know? And Lewis is like, would you like to be the lead deckhand and then Seth tells us to be honest, I don't really care about the lead deckhand raw. It's just a stepping stone towards getting to the boasts and spot. But did you notice when Lewis goes, would you like to be all talk to Kerry? Seth just flexed his boob muscles and they moved up and down. This guy's such a prick. Oh my god, you know what I mean though, right? When you like a boob with your boobs, I mean, a prick. Oh my god. You know what I mean though right when you like a Your boobs. I mean, I can't do it anymore. There was a time, but what a prick so Bedtime so now Casey is telling for the boys left the hot tub clean and she's trying not to be pissed off

But she's working on the computer and Lewis is just lurking behind her. She's like and Lewis is just lurking behind her. She's like, I smell desperation and incompetence, Lewis. I know you're there. Now, listen, Lewis. I do love you, but that stupid pantry was left. Spotless yesterday.

I spent all day yesterday cleaning it, and Agenda Captain got up for coffee and sold a pantry that way. It's like Orianna without a good foundation or lipstick in the baby towel. No one needs to see it. Well I said we'll do it in the morning. Well I asked you once. Just once for you guys to chip in and you couldn't even do it. You all have zero respect for me. And so I'm really really really angry right now and goes well I don't think that's what it is. Well, I just know not too long.

And you guys were absolutely anything ever more. This would work a lot better if you didn't remind them for like every single meal. Every meal just to be fair. Just got to be fair. But to say you guys do absolutely nothing for me. Just this one to ask you to do something. It's like, well, it's kind of every episode. And I support all the time that she asks them. But like, don't act like you haven't been asking every episode.

Yeah. Well, next week, Casey's doppelganker comes on board. Will anybody recognize her? We'll have to wait to find out. Well, thank you, everyone, for being here. This was a blast. And don't forget to buy your tickets for the Cheetah Brand Tour, pre-sale tomorrow, general sale on Friday. And I will catch you on the next episode, huh? Goodbye, everybody. See you. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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