Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Adventure: Hairpocalypse

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

Below Deck Adventure (S01E10) has some follicle issues this week and they send the crew spinning out of control. Chef vs Chief Stew, Chief Stew vs Bosun, Mary Lou vs hair. Put on your power lipstick, it's going to be an ADVENTCHAAAAA! For our premium bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but he's not really turning around. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Corrappin! It's a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about. Oh, yo, broves! I'm Ronnie. Guess who I'm with.

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You may have seen our logo that Wondry has popped up on there. We're really excited to be partnered with them. And part of that is that we now are going to be releasing some stuff on Wondry Plus, which hopefully all of you guys are already part of. Yeah, and if you're an Amazon Prime member, Amazon is wondering, you know, they're together now. So if you're an Amazon Prime member, you can listen ad-free over there or join Wendry Plus or join Apple subscriptions. Now, some people were a little worried when they figured out that we had moved.

Thinking we were going to start releasing episodes late or we were going to do subscriber only stuff. Nothing changes as far as getting five episodes a week for free. That stays the same. They're always going to come out when they were going to come out. They don't come out at a special time for anybody else. The only thing that changes is we are bringing back dwell hello for the subscriber channel. And that'll be two times a month. Dwell hello is our house hunters recap podcast.

And we don't expect you to go watch House Hunters every episode. To listen to this, it's just making fun of stupid people in different locations. So if you're into that, definitely join us. We love doing Dwell Hello. Yeah, Dwell Hello is going to be on One Drupal Plus. I just was laughing because I loved the way you sort of like Tony Lee were had the sound of like here's the good news

Here's the bad news like the good news is everything stays the same the bad news Well hello is added to the mix. No, it's good news. It is good news. I was like bracing. I was like what's oh no What's the other shoe that's running about to drop? Should I warn him should I send a smoke signal like it's something bad gonna happen? No, I just you know because I'm telling people though everything's still going to be free, but then we're saying, but it's not, but you know, it's like no, it is literally the same. It is literally the same and yeah, but we now, yeah, you can listen to that free with Wondry Plus and and that and you can like Ronnie said, you can access that through Apple Music, Apple Podcast player,

or the one-dre app, however you're going to do it. But really, the whole point of this is really to say that Dwell Hello's coming back, and it's coming back this week. So we are really excited to know it's next week. excited. No, it's next week. I thought it was this week. As we edit that, Ross, oh, and that's another thing we don't have. It's still just us. So there's no one producing this. It's good to tell.

It's good to tell. And face you can tell it's still just us two idiots over here, trying to figure this out. Nobody is like producing us or cutting anything or cleaning us up. Okay, we're still the same, we're just in a different place. So anyway, a long way to say thank you for still being here and thank you for having us, Wendry Plus. And also thank you to Stitcher. You were a great network to us. So thank you, you were a great home. And we're psyched. We're just psyched to be alive? Yeah, we are excited.

You know what, I feel like now that we're here with Wondry, I feel like it almost, you know what, it feels almost like we're just going on, so we're going on a big, massive, exciting adventure. Oh, and what an adventure it is. My time say, a heavy adventure. Yeah, below that adventure, by the way, below that adventure is going nuts.

They are losing their minds up there in Norway. Well, it's like everybody is suddenly realizing what assholes, Orianna and Lewis are. That's who I blame for everything. Mm-hmm. And also, lipstick just doesn't work as like a motivator. You know what I mean? Like your whole leadership style can't just be where lipstick can curl your hair.

Okay? Like this is not a pan-amp commercial in Mad Men. Okay? You're gonna need more. Okay? Perhaps a bun. Might I suggest a bun? Because there's a lot of hair and things today Yeah, this is a this is a big hairy hairy episode Bones, buns will definitely help especially if you've got your hair literally just like hanging into the pork chops Yeah, there's a lot of hair hanging you over a wheel, okay? That is a baby cow. That's not even a cow that like got to go to college or anything.

That is a baby cow that you killed to be dangling your curled hair over. And you know there's Aquinet in that hair too, Faye. I know you've got some Aquinet in there and don't tell me you don't. Well, I mean, I do have to say, I mean, Jess is here is pulled back, but she still has hairs towards the back of her head that are kind of just like dangling. Like, I feel like the hairs could be really coming from anywhere. If you don't have a net on, if you don't have a net and a shower cap on, those hairs could be flying. It's also they're like running around with all these wigs, you know, and like trying on wigs

and getting ready for wigs. Then you've got just Orianna who I feel like just is like throwing hair everywhere. I just feel like she's the kind of person who like, if you've got just Orianna, who I feel like just is throwing hair everywhere. I just feel like she's the kind of person who like, if you're her roommate, you're like, oh my God, clean out the clog. You know, your hair is ever, she's just annoying so I feel like her hair is always clogging the drain. And also, first of all, this is gonna be very controversial

so just wanna brace myself. On the side, right? Okay, I'm bracing. This is really bold to say, especially on the new network. Um, I believe that there is hair in some of this food. I think that Mary Lou's a goddamn liar. And I'm going to say that right now. I don't believe that Mary Lou, I believe that Mary Lou has much like much housing hair syndrome. Where she just flies syndrome. Yes. She just says that there's stuff in her in her food to get attention. So Mary Lou, I think you're a goddamn liar, but everybody else I believe you and you can work it out with a hair net or a bun.

Yeah, um, I you know, when I used to not have like a Like basically a crew cut, which is what I have now a buzz cut when I had like normal like floppy I shouldn't say normal. I'll just say longer hair, longer floppy hair. I, if I found like a black hair in my food, if it was of a certain length, I just assumed it was mine.

I really did. And I feel like most people don't like to face up to the fact that a lot of the hair that falls into their food is from themselves. Now if it's a long hair, then I know it's not mine. And especially nowadays, I know it's not mine. But, you know, Mary Lou, there's a chance she said that she'd eaten enough of that veal chop

that she had felt okay. So, I'm gonna say, Mary Lou, the statute of limitations of finding hairs in your food is, I think it's short enough. It's short, it's pretty short. Because once you start betting over your plate and eating food, that could be a Mary Lou hair. Yeah, and I really have no proof of anything.

Obviously, I just feel like Mary Lou's a goddamn liar. Okay, yeah, that's it. And I'm sticking with it. I have my feelings, I have my gut, and that's what my gut is telling me that she's a goddamn hair liar, and I'm gonna stick with it. Yeah, although there was one time I went to Barney's Beenerie in WeHo and I definitely

found very quickly thankfully a black curly hair and that was, it looked like a pub. I don't think it was a pub, I'm sure it was not a pub, but it presented like one and I did not like that at all and that one I knew did not come from the top of my head. Yeah, well when I used to have hair I would just be like this probably mine who gives a shit like I'm an eater so I don't care. I'm did not come from the top of my head. Yeah. Well, when I used to have hair, I would just be like, it's probably mine who gives a shit. Like I'm an eater. So I don't care. I'm not going to let a hair get in my way. I move it. And also, yeah, every, you know, most of you have hair. So it's not everyone. I said, Oh my God. I'm going to die in here. But being in service,

like I get it's disgusting. Nobody wants hair in their food. But being bald, I know it was a my ass. Yeah. What did one of my back hairs, you know, just like, magically crawl over my back and into your food? No. So it was one of you haired. It was one of you hair privilege from other fuckers. And so I just sit back and watch fights. Yeah, I have to say also, if there's like a hair in my food, usually it's like, oh, that's gross, but people lose their mind, people like, they'll flip a table.

And I'm actually not like that. I'm kind of like, oh, that's gross, but I'm not, there's probably gross or things in the food in the hair, you know what I'm saying? Like there's probably, there's probably, there's probably, you know what I mean? Yeah, we're eating carcasses.

There's like sweat that probably made its way in there. Like there's probably skin flakes. I feel like the hair is probably the least defensive thing. Now if it gets into your mouth, that's the thing that's really bad because that's more visceral. It's like you take a bite of macaroni and cheese and then the outcome's a hair.

So like that's really gross. I don't know, but for some reason, I'm relatively chill about the hair situation relatively. Yeah, so there's a lot more hair to discuss. So let's get into it. So we start with drama music because phase upset because they've just had this, you know, the decky day out where they get to go to the spa and everything except they didn't get to go to the spa. They just like, I don't know know got to go jump right in a fucking park in Norway and then they had to come eat dinner together on the boat And then clean up after themselves

So automatic gift return. I say but she's upset because everyone just left her a big mess and went to Basically and it's from its sounds from the sounds of it because it's, what was weird to me was I was, when I was watching it last week, I thought, well, it's nice to all bring the plates back in. And it sounds like she was expecting the deck, the deckies to load the dishwasher.

I guess that's what it really came down to and they really didn't do anything. And so she's. Well, why should they have to do all the dishes for a whole damn dinner? I don't think that's very there. I agree. I think that they should do all the dishes for a whole damn dinner. I don't think that's fair either. I agree. I think that they should have done the dishes.

I think that was the attitude wasn't it you? It was at Lewis. Yeah. No, I know. I know. I'm co-signing. Sorry. I was like, I'm furious.

And, well, hello, starts next week. So we'll see you again. I was like, wait a second. I never took a stance that faith doesn't that face you to the dishes. I know. I said it like I was mad at you, but I just Lewis is just standing there. Okay, this is why I'm at because Lewis is just standing there with those really beautiful colored green eyes. I mean, those are some or blue. I don't know. They're very bright. They're like white walker eyes. They're very beautiful. But he's like standing there looking like a little boy wrapped in a towel

You know, and it just makes you want to Not not that I want to pinch little kids and towels is just like You know in phase looking at her computer very stressed out and she's like I just asked once you guys to chip in You couldn't do it you couldn't go to dishwasher He's like, but we took the stuff from the table. Like, that was half a job. You don't do half a job. You do a full job. Do I have one red lip or two? I have two red lips. It's what the professional does.

This is my problem. I did that to put on a powerful red lip. I just put on a red lip. I didn't have to have a powerful lip. Take it the things done. It's my fault. And then she pulls out the full mom, Faye, a fact. I just meant not to rely on you guys for anything that's all I feel. I can't do it just once, I asked for your help, just once! When she's been bossing them around, I call. She's all season.

You know, I'm not going to be the nice chiefs to they've had the whole time. I'm like, have you been the nice chiefs to them? I've had the whole time. Everything is like Lewis. There seems to be a yogurt in the refrigerator. Could you please pick it up and move it to a different location? Thank you so much. Have you ever been in the bank and you're taking out money, even if you're,

if you're at the teller part, you know, and you're like, I need to catch just check for $100 fleas. That time where they look at your ID and then look you up and down and give you that money, I just always feel like that's fake. Like, I'm just hoping that she gives me, even though I know it's my money, like I know that I'm not doing anything wrong, I feel like I am doing something wrong, and I feel like that's the look that Faye gives people. Yeah. Well, you know what? I mean, to me,

the Faye is the woman in big business when um, Sadie, aka Batmah, there goes into buy that polka dot dress. She goes, all right, I want that one. Give me a size two. And the woman just looks at her and she's hmmm and she's fine, size four. Okay, size 12. You know, like the sales clerk just eyeing Beth Middleton and saying, you were giving me the wrong size and I know it. To me, that's phase energy. But I like her, you know. So then bedtime, Orianna and Lewis get in the bed together and he goes, oh my goodness. And she goes, that will get you in travel. And he's like, if you're squishing all the right places. And or Mike is below them going, Mike, no sleep, Mike, no sleep tonight. No sleep for Mike night. No is up above Mike sleepy. So then we see everybody

going to sleep because it's one of those episodes where they're like, this is how we're on a ghost asleep. This is how Mike goes to sleep. This is how Nathan goes to sleep. This is how Seth goes to sleep. Seth sleeps with his arms behind his head. What a douche.

What a fucking douche. You even sleep like a douche. He sleeps like he's getting a blowjob. So bizarre. He does. With's getting a blowjob. So bizarre. He does. With both his hands behind his head, like, yeah, just watching other kids swim, hope one of them drowns.

He's like that fucking douche. Yeah, well, if you think about linens as a mouth, you're basically just getting your entire lower half blown, huh? It's 7, 720 in the morning. Okay, so anybody was wondering. And everybody's getting up, hey guys, this is how many things gets up.

This is how Lewis gets up. And I'm a good sup. And I wanna also point out that in the beginning of the season, sunset was at like 11.45 pm sunset. So they kept on saying sunrise at 1am, sunset at 11.45 pm. And it's like, oh my God, these days in Norway are so long. But I guess they've been out there long enough that now it's like sunrise 6.20 am, sunset 8.30 pm.

I'm like, well, I was getting kind of pretty standard for the summer. So I think we can, I'm just not impressed by the times that we could just stop that. That's why you didn't know what kind of day to expect, you know? Okay. It's like looking here, a little weather app in the morning, like, oh my God, it's going to rain at 11.30. I better call people.

I basically saying the window for me being impressed by Norway's sunset has passed. It's over. It's over. You just get used to it. You're like, the war a boring what? The Aurora Bore Boreless. Okay. I don't even know. Yeah, you put the boring and Aurora Borealis because where they I'm, by the way, I call people stupid all day. I'm literally the dumbest person I know. Where is that? The Aurora Borealis? Because don't they show it above in the

show at this episode? This episode they showed it and I actually went back and watched it three times and I was like I was trying to decide whether it was a real a real Northern Lights or if it was just stock footage they put in there. I was like, wow that's that's my screensaver. That's amazing that they're using that in the footage. And I was like no Ronnie that's actually a real natural thing that happens. And then I said, but where does it happen? And then I went on a whole journey with myself. Anyway, my point is, am I just like such a privileged American fuck that I've seen the

Aurora Borealis so many times on my screen saver that I've never noticed it on this show. No, this is the first time I've noticed it on this show because I don't think there's been enough nighttime for there to be a Royalis. Well, it was amazing even in fast forward mode. It was work, nice work nature. Nice work nature. I would love to see the Northern Lights. I've never done it. Should we do a live show in the Arctic Circle?

No. Northern territories of Canada. I want to see the Northern Lights episode. No, I want us to be the most beautiful thing on the States. I don't want people like, oh, yeah, fang, hair curling. Wow, look at the lights. Fuck that. Look at me. Don't you realize the Northern Lights is God's powerful red lip? It's like, all right, we need to oppress the humans today. It's God's curling iron. press the humans today. It's God's curling iron. So let's see. Everybody gets a mic jokes with Lewis about how he never really fucks Orianna, even though they're in bed

together every night. He's like, who idea? No sexy time. And Lewis is like, it's a mutual idea. Androo! Androo! No lie! Laya! So then, uh, Fay, uh, then in the phase eating breakfast, and someone asks if she's feeling out, Kasey asks how she's feeling. She's like, oh, I feel fine. I'm just, I'm moody because I hate the boys. I just can't stand them. I've really tried to be nice to them, and it gives them the benefit of the loud. But what they did last night took me over the edge, much like that platter of silverware that Lewis perched on the sink and then subsequently fell in the sink. I am in the sink with a silverware,

emotionally. Thankfully, I have my emotional support curling iron while I think they sell that. And she's like sitting there just like holding the curling iron in her hair, unless she deep thinks. It's like her face roller, you the curling iron in her hair, but she deep thinks it's like her face roller You know, it's real housewives of Beverly Hills face roller So Mike and Lewis are you know, they're still in the cabin and Mike's like tower floor Tower floor and Lewis is like let's just put them in the laundry. We know allow laundry in the laundry. We know a lot laundry. Laundry bad today.

And he's like, well, otherwise they'll just sit in our room and then I'll end up wiping my balls on the table that you're using for your face. Tower for face. Me not no, towel for face. Mike put towel asshole. That's disgusting. Might get it together. So I like that right after Faye has gilted him. He's like fuck it. Let's use let's use phase laundry today I know I know that goes. I thought it was gonna become a big fight like I was all of a so ready

I was ready for the fight to be like oh Viana could you please do the laundry? Um, I can't because Lewis is using the washer to do tables. And then she marches in there. Lewis, I told you a thousand times. No laundry on prep days. I mean, this is so disrespectful. That's all that we've done for you. I mean, I might as well not even talk to you. You might use the good as, and as helpful as a guest.

I can't do this anymore. I was ready and I was already fired up. And it never happens. I've asked for respect. I've received a testicle towel and the dryer. These brown smudge towels thinking of the long. I mean, what? You went too far. Well, you said testicle smudge testicle towels. Okay. You've overstepped. All right. We got brown smudge because cuz the Norwegian cheese the Norwegian cheese is brown

I meant like they were picking up Norwegian cheese god Ronnie Get your mind out of the gutter It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and celebrity beef You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So, um, the deckeys are in the mess trying to tape things together. I don't really know what it was just funny watching Mike try to work tape because you know he works it like Mike tape pod He can't do it Yeah, watching them trying to like slice tape. I was like how is this how's this boat not sunk into the bottom of the Norwegian fjord? I mean, like these deckies are so inept. Yeah, so perhaps she made time.

And so just come down. She's like, what's happening? Louis, he's like just trying to get my Zenon. And so the captain goes over the guests, lots of fun here. Shelby pots, celebrate no, no relations. No relations.

Annie. I checked. I checked being because I knew that was my first request. That was my very first thought. Like, is this Annie's lesbian daughter? Please let it be. Hmm. Shelby pots.

Celebrating her engagement with a girlfriend. All crew members met playing LGBTQ plus flag football. Your big footballers. I like that he was close. Met playing LGBTQ plus flag football. Your big footballers, I like that he's like, I'm not fucking it up this time, all right? Like, can we reroll that? El Gippatag to Carplow. Now, your new flag football is. Oh, is that like playing soccer, but with the pride flag?

No, it's not at all. It's the thing that they do in the States. Oh, I think they did in the States. The like potato chips, yes, and a bag. You might notice if you look outside that we've got noise rainbow flags out there. How about it's calling these flags with lipsticks? Oh, look, there's Mike trying to wipe his face on it.

There was not a sour mic. And Lewis is like, well, they want us to do a drag show. So you girls will have to share your makeup and we just get a, it's as fake layers at him. Hmm. If you think I'm putting my power lip on you, you have another thing coming, sir. So, Kerry's like, well, these guests are three ill seekers. I'm taking them to Valderoyah.

The mountain's there, nuts. They're going to take a helicopter to the mountain top and then repel down. Talk about an avenged shower of life, Tom. Sounds difficult. live tour sounds difficult the adventure killer enjoy repelling down a mountain side I hope it's as difficult as making happy to last go I hope it's not as repelling as it sounds so phase like when I hit ring this So, FaZe, like, where am I going to bring this up? Dun, dun, dun, dun. Are we going to do an off-board lunch for this? And Jessica's, I don't know, FaZe. Are we going to do an off-board lunch?

Ufff! FaZe drops, like, how dare you throw that question back at me? She's like, I see what's going on here. Suggestes, with my current experience with the timing. I'm not going to stay from two inches six, cooking them lunch, slaving over fire pits, searching for bags that aren't there, then suddenly are there. What's thing around in the rain with no duck hands? No, I shan't do that.

I shall make sandwiches. I have not worked this hard in my life to waste one of my greatest dishes. Lingue me. You were not getting away. So the captain's like, okay, she can make fantastic all my sandwiches and she's like with cold chips. Never. Well, Americans love eating potato chips with their big,

as you know, Americans, potato chip potato chip big, big, big, big, big isn't that the way their national anthem goes? Out of the bag. Chris, yes, that's what they like to have. She's like, really? They're just like horrified at the thought of us, getting like Doritos.

She's like disgusting. So, now the captain calls Lewis up. He's like, now listen, go to a moment. I want to show you where we'll be going on this meet. Now we're going to plan the activities around that. Now what's the deal with Seth? How you getting on with that big guy? Oh, he sleeps with his hands behind his head. It's a real mountain decline, mate one. Well, I had to talk with him and I know he's lead deck and material

for me. Interesting. And if you pick up on social cues when I say interesting, it means there's a lot more from behind that interesting dot dot dot. Okay, well I don't pick up on that, so anyway, I think this chart goes well, you know, I think I might make him lead Deccan'd. Good, because the way to deal with it is to give him more of a lead. That's why I said I'd make him lead Deccan'd. Lead both, and possibly. I'm just saying, slips with the sense behind you said, I love a man with sleeping initiative. Now there's a man who can get a hammer in his sleep. Listen, I'm not going to say what he told me, but it rhymes with, he wants your job.

But anyway, you didn't hear it from me. No, what sort of job would that be? Sleeping? I could get in the sleeping job. All right, never mind. You can't figure it out. It's going to be on you. So Lewis is like, you know, I really don't know what motivates Seth. I think it's something to do with his ego. Well, welcome to humanity. Lewis, nice work. Okay. So then we see Jess in the kitchen and she's got lobsters.

She's like separating the lobsters and she just goes hideous creatures. And lobsters are like, well, what do you think we had to look at before we died? You, huh? There. Think the lobsters. Loose bun.

I know. You want to talk about hideous creatures? At least we don't get hair on our faces. Hello. Could you have just tied that back for a second? They're from the cat skills. Those laps are from the cat skills if anyone's wondering. So then Casey and Orianna have a little tiff because Casey's like, um Orianna, did you finish the guest cabans? And Orianna is like on her phone tapping out of text. She's like, um, you said you did it. Yeah, I said I did the bed

The I didn't check everything. It's probably not complete tall So then phase like interior interior. Yeah, come on. I'm coming right here right here. Okay, and I'm in this room Okay, this mirror needs doing this toilet roll is missing because I can't care right there. There's a cup right there There's a seven arm on the bed Did you guys can not notice there was a seven arm right here bleeding everywhere? Please dispose of that. I mean, what is happening here? What is Lewis's testicle town doing on the master bed? Somebody and around is like, I mean, we still have time and case is like, yeah, but we shouldn't be brushing

Yeah, but it doesn't help to be high stressed when you're like high stressed. So I'm just gonna say that as I keep chapping out the text on my phone. And then, Oriana's like, well, it was a miscommunication. So like we're good. Like we're finishing it right now and Fagos. Well, I thought you'd say you sput jet Casey.

And Oriana's like, and I did ask you to do it, dude. And phase like, well, this is why I'm not elevating whatever the other. It's ridiculous. And then she does this thing that I really like. I like, she does like a hand gesture, like a hand gesture assignment where she just looks in a closet and she just flops her index finger at like all the shelves

and just walks away. Like, clean all of this up. Yeah, all of this, all of this. Now listen, all of us should have known to check this. All of us. And Ariana's like, um, yeah, but we all miscommunicated and it's a fine. I would fire Ariana just for the way she talks. She talks so fucking rudely to every single person and that condescending, like like you know what you really need to do It's like a not stir rest when you're stressed like you've got linguine in your fucking mouth

Could you not talk to me like that while you're shoveling while I'm working and you're putting linguine in your mouth, ma'am Please yeah, the only one who really sort of Keeps her in check is Jess. Because Jess is like on or or Ariana and Ariana is always like um um um um like the way that Jess just condescends to her but like in a way that just shuts up or Ariana is hilarious. Well it shuts her up but look what it turned or Ariana into. You know because orion is one of those little behind the scenes bringing somebody down. You know like oh Jess is a problem. Oh Jess is a problem. Oh Faye you shouldn't let Jess talk to you that way. Oh F like, oh, Jess is a problem. Oh, Jess is a problem.

Oh, Fay, you shouldn't let Jess talk to you that way. Oh, Fay, look at how Jess is treating you. Man, and that whispering on her ear until everybody's going at each other. Yeah. So now it's 45 minutes a little charter. And there's like provisions or on the dock. There's a football sitting on the provisions. And Lewis is like, oh, it's an American football. You know what? This is what it's like. This is what football is like. It's like one, two, three, four. Then I run around a little bit. Oh, oh, Mike, why do you shout numbers at each other? The play football plays football America.

And Lewis is like, what are my education of American football is Ace Ventura? You could have just stopped at my education. Is Ace Ventura? You could have taken care is H Ventura. You could have just stopped at my education. Is H Ventura? You could have taken a different. He's an H Ventura. He's even worse. It's it's Asa from Shaw's. She's like, watch me, watch me say funny things with my ass cheeks. Hey, babe, do not go in there, babe, babe, do not go in there, babe. So now they're all getting ready for the gas and face like, crew, crew, please wear your hair down and the powerful lipstick if possible.

Yeah. And now the guests arrive. Now, it's funny because I feel like they don't normally have their hair down. I feel like their hair is mostly up with some parts down, right? But this time, it was all down. And I had

to imagine it was to up the sex appeal considering that the majority of these guests are lesbians. I don't know. Look at hairs. That weird. It's not weird. I've chosen. I blur out hair on other people so I don't get like insanely jealous because like I can't do anything about being bald. So I just choose to pretend it's not a thing. So like I don't know what people's hair looks like. I don't get insanely jealous because I can't do anything about being bald, so I just choose to pretend it's not a thing. So I don't know what people's hair looks like. I don't know. I can't tell you.

Well, that was my fleeting theory. So the guests show up. It's Shelby and Tarnier. So much of bald lesbian show up. Shelby and Tarnier. Yes. Some of them have mohawks. Some of them have cornrows.

Really don't pay attention. So, yeah, Shelby and Turner, it's kind of funny that Turner goes by Turner because it's like Shelby Pots, but Turner goes by Turner. Also, I wish it was like Pots and Turner because that way they would sound like a police duo, right? Like Pots and Turner. Pots and Turner.

They could be like one of those British shows where it's like Pots and Turner. Pots and Turner. They could be like one of those British shows where it's like Pots and Turner, they're detectives, but they also plant things in a garden. Yeah, and they're undercover in Norway. They're like, it's like the sequel to Smilla Sense of Snow. It's like Pots and Turner in Scandinavia

that's getting murders on a yacht. Shelby, we're related that you chose to celebrate your engagement to turn in luxury. Please go on a LBGTYU to a plus enjoy. And then Mary Lou was like, they have their champagne toast. And then Mary Lou's like, oh, there's like a buck in my champagne. And they goes, oh, I don't see it, but we'll get you a new one, which is her little way of being like, don't you,

Dan, question my good citizen, it's bitch. And I like that because listen, if you can't see the bug, there's no bug. What is it an invisible bug? Where's the bug? Show me the bug. Mary Lou. Yeah, where's the bug? Norwegian bug. What is it an invisible bud? Where's the bug? Show me the bug. Mary Lou. Yeah, where is the bug? Norwegian bug. That's like a Norway. They wear sweaters. Hot. They wear like chunky turtleneck sweaters with like

little beautiful patterns. I'm actually wearing a Nordic sweater as we speak. Now that I speak about it, I'm dressed like a Norwegian fly. Hot, you see? whether I was to speak now that speak about I'm dressed like a Norwegian fly. Hot, you see? So then face like yes I don't see it crazy, Lou, but I'll get it. I'm saying your chiefs do and you can all die now. Thank you. So it's the so they go on the boat tour and basically it's a group of lesbians, but there's one gay one gay guy and they're all gay, but there's one gay man.

And he is doing everything. He's like, I am the role of the designated gay man on this trip and I am going to fulfill my destiny by being the most ever. Yeah, but he looks like Homer Simpson's neighbor. Yeah, that's Flanders. Yeah, Flanders. Should we keep our clothes on and this hot tub? And my rock girls are mine.

Here's what you could do. Clean it. Why is that hot tub green? Why is the water in there green? It's bugs me the whole season and it grosses me out. Yeah, I'm going to blame Lewis and Orianna for that somehow. And then, Fay is like, does anyone want to fan? Like it doesn't back?

And he's like, um, and now we their offense, we don't want you going through. I think, ah! So, um, the captain is down on the galley. And Jess is like, would you like to taste this disgusting cheese? He's like, what is that? It looks like peanut butter, doesn't it? It's Norwegian cheese. You're going to have to try it because you're the captain. And

yeah, and you're just like, doesn't it taste? We try it. And he's like, oh, actually, it's not so bad. It does taste like caramel cheese. Actually, it tastes really good. Like, really, really good. Well, the jokes on you, it's actually Norwegian soup. Enjoy. Clevver. So um, KC is like, um, Orianna, we've got the cheese plate, Rada and Orianna says, yeah, but they're onto her right now. And I don't want to bring it back because it's like hot on deck. And if they see their cheese has been sitting out here, I mean, I just can't, like, I can't even.

So like, I'm not going to do it right now. Just say, hold the cheese. I mean, I just can't, like I can't even, so like I'm not gonna do it right now. Just say, hold the cheese, I'll be down in a minute. Like, do we need, do we need the model? Orianna's on my last one. Okay, I don't know if you should. She's been under last one for a while, to be here. So, KC's basically turned to Jess and it's like, so, how would you feel of like after this chotta

coming into my cabin? Do you want to do that? Just because love too. I think Fay and I spend too much time together anyway. Yeah, and if things aren't working, then you can change with what you have. And I have you. Yay.

She's like, okay, Orianna, you can take this cheese when you're ready. She's like, do we have toothpicks for this? I'm not just supposed to like, okay, Orianna, you can take this cheese when you're ready. She's like, um, do we have toothpicks for this? I'm just supposed to like take this how it is. I mean, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, lot of people not picking up on the dot, dot, dot today. So now there are always the time to release the lines, time to get on out of this port. So Mary Lou, after leaving the port, Mary Lou's talking to her friend and she's like, dude, I swear, I swear to God,

there was a bug in my champagne. Because you know, they're all like, thanks a lot, Mary Lou. You made us look like a whole bunch of high maintenance bitches. Thanks, Mary Lou. Can made us look like a whole bunch of hot maintenance bitches. Thanks, Mary Lou. Can you just like spat it out like a normal person? I know, right?

Cause you know, she's like, I swear there was a back bug in my champagne this time. It's not like the time at Chili's where I just saw a lemon, a lemon seed and thought it was about. No, I know. It's not like it, it's not like the time at Fig and all I have fun when I thought there was something in my drink, and it just turned out to be a piece of ice.

Like, okay, Mary Lou, we believe you. Mary Lou, you once called the manager because you said there was a ladybug in your martini, and it was an olive. Okay, it was supposed to be there. I know, but I just got scared, I patted. Ugh. We believe you, Mary Lou.

We believe you. So, Orianna's like, I brought food for you guys. If you're package and turners like, wow, look at face. She's a real cutie pie. They're like, whoa, journey. What? And she's like, yeah, hey, hey, just you know, I was like, phaser real cutie pie. And I meant like, I want to put her in my pocket. It's like, oh really? Like a imaginary little box that Mary Lou keeps in the house to get me in trouble? No chance, turn, no chance. Uh, and Shelby's like, um, are you going to leave me for a fay?

Well, you're pretty lucky. I'm still with you after you lie and said any pops with your mother. So I don't know. Who could resist? I don't think you're gonna fact check. The only thing, the only other thing you would compare me to are things you put plants in if I didn't say any plot. I got nervous.

We were watching young Shelton, she appeared on screen. It seemed like the right thing to say. People named Potts meet that a little glamour into their lives. I haven't had any pots out of there. It seemed like a reasonable thing. I just didn't think you were going to look on IMDB. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the ropes so Lewis can one day be a captain. And Lewis is like, I haven't had how captains that are that much of a mental like Kerry. But I want to be a competent leader. I just can't keep doing everything. All of those dishes I didn't put in the dishwasher was frosting.

Yeah, I'm making it frosting. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So now the anchor is going down and Nathan's over looking over the edge. He's like, one shackle under waterline and cares like, well, I won't do anything. I wouldn't do anything yet until I know how that chain's doing. So let's see what the trend's going, hey, Nathan, how's that chain doing out there? Is it all for the chain? If you get what I'm saying, a little also humor there. And Lewis is like, Nathan, Nathan Lewis,

please give me the direction of the chain. Nathan's like, direction of the chain is up and down, like short, medium, long, long stay, the weather, it's about 56 degrees Fahrenheit right now. I see it looks to be a jellyfish, just sort of going around wondering where it's friend went I don't know yeah actually it's long and then medium and care it's like fucking hell Nathan all your answers from here on out of full full words and less all right we're not having a conversation here all right

Drop a shackle please please drop a shackle Mike here. Alright, drop a shackle. Please, please drop a shackle, Mike. Mike drop shackle. Um, sorry, guys, uh, like it just kept the reason I was on the radio. Oh, you're still fucking talking. Get off the radio. Get off the radio. Have it. Stan, okay, your show is over right now. Here is his dawn, I miss. Get out of there. So he storms outside and you start, listen here, limbaugh, or I'll stay up the radio. And one of the ladies, it's like, oh my God, Captain Spiss. And he has a bottle on his forehead.

Shut up, Mary Lou. All right, five. You're accused, me of lying. All right, you're already accused, Shelby of lying. Well, guess what, Turner? We know your grandfather is not dead. What? Okay, Mary Lou, Mary Lou, you have to go downstairs.

You have to go downstairs, Mary Lou. No wonder you never got my mother a job. Your mother's not any pot, Shelby. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Okay, you're a grandfather was never gonna give her mother a job because she complained about the bug at the Warner Brothers Commissary So they just have a web of lies They just are lying about the consequential things and it's all unraveling. It's just all compulsive liars So carries like Fulken Hill

confulsive liars. So, Kerry's like, Fulganale. So, he's really mad. And Nathan just keeps kind of fiddling with his radio. And he's like, but I was trying to tell you anyway. And then he tells us, I was just trying to communicate, but my radio was saying, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And it was throwing me off the radio mess this up. And Kerry's like, all right, you know what, Lewis, I got it do this. Your boys have got to do their job. Now get out, get out of here and you go through your life showing those boys what to do. And for now, that is your adventure. The radio here's a purpose. It's a safety tool.

Nathan gets caught up in the moment. It's gonna start getting on my nerves So let's I want everyone at hand to know this next time you hear that jingle 1, 2, 7, 7 calls for kids 1 night 7 7 calls for kids. That was for your safety Up Nice and I had stop it You go down nice and I said so it's Is he wanted to grow how to cut tape again? We don't need easy radiotic type my cut anchor. Oh god damn it

Now we have no ink a mic what is he getting Mike act out Mike miscontainers. So then we go to Orianna talking to MedFlanders and she's like, if you'd like me to take a picture, I can because you're just like so picture-ass the way you're like posing right there on the bow of the boat. You want me to take your picture, right? I'm really good at taking a high angle because I brought my stilts with me.

Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha! So then Lewis is telling Nathan, he goes down, because I brought my stilts with me. Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't want to be the weakling. Oh, Nathan. It's okay. People are doing way worse on this, but, okay? I know. I know. They're way weaker, like, the whole chain is, it's not really even a chain. It's just a collection of little iron circles that are near each other.

It's like twisty ties. They could be tied together. Yeah, it's, you know what it is? It's like, Lint. You're like, wow, this is fabric. And then you realize it's not fabric. It's just dust that's collected, it's clumped together. So Seth is helping Fay with big gold decorations that they're putting up for their big drag show party. And she's like, I need you to straighten it.

Lee is straighten if I say straighten it. And he's like, this is hard to figure out. She moves really quickly between flirty and business like just trying to figure out how I can fit in there. Well, the thing is tangled, by the way, because he's like, Fae, you want me to hang this? And she uses it as way to slam Moryana because she's like, it's tangled random decoration. She goes, oh, that's a Rihanna. That's how she packs things.

It's like, oh, okay. I just love the the seething indictment against Rihanna's streamers packing skills. So he's like, come on, Faith, why don't you sing to me? And she's like, all right, they were at the girl named Faith. She had a very long day with a woman who sees bugs in this probably gay. She says

you could probably give me a hand, but the boys were so very bland. I'm only listening to music played by lipstick wearing band. Okay, there's nothing up for you. Come on, Faye, give me something a little bit more upbeat. Okay, fine, here's a good one. Hair up, baby, hair up, give me a powerful lip, baby, powerful, powerful lip. I spend all day trying to curl when my guess only her because there's a hair in the goddamn dinner. Is that enough? That's enough.

Are you going to wear your hair up? Please wear your hair up with an apple for leap to go with your hair, with your hair that is up. So then we go to Casey and there's a stain on someone's clothes and she's like, oh my gold doll, look at this storm. And Ariana's like, that's not us. I mean, really stop stressing Casey. This is where she's like eating her noodles. She's like, you're just like a letting things like get to you. And the case is like, you're too casual about things I feel, and Orianna is like, I can't be emotional about it, and I would love that for a conversation about what the actual issue is when you're

ready, and in case you're like, yeah, but we don't have time for that, so I don't really fall out. That's going to hop in anytime's on. Well, it seems imperative that we make time for that based on how the dynamics are becoming spooning up the winning and putting it in my mouth. Yeah. Well, I'm just getting irritated and I think that while bond work together and like living together for a while now, and it's like I'm like, I'm like, what do you think?

How about what if we like move out of this channel? I don't really want to move. And she tells us, yeah, it's not really fun to have to pack up a move. Rims living with cases entertaining. I love this thing to Casey pretend to have whatever accent she has at night. And so Casey's like, well, but I mean, it makes sense because Justin Fee aren't getting along anyway. So she's okay, I understand, but they can have that conversation between us and it is imperative

that, well, I eat this linguine, I have somebody to talk down to. So please just stand there while I talk to you like I'm your boss. Thank you. Faye just comes in and starts taking two boas and it's like, oh, Orianna, look at that. Look at that little greenie in your mouth. It's as organized as every decoration you've ever packed away on this boot. OK, well, thanks for having this conversation with me.

So Casey, let's have this conversation when we're not frustrated. So we can like a chalk like, you know I mean. And thank you, you were dismissed. Yeah, so now 30 minutes to a drag party because it's gonna be a drag party before dinner. And all the guests, they're so polite. They're just like sitting in the salon, like just ready to be told what to do next. As a great counterpoint to the guests on regular below deck, we're just like disasters and awful. They're just all sitting there like, well, what? This is a lovely room. I'm happy to sit here and wait

for us to be told where we should go in an orderly fashion next. And so, phase, like, what are you all doing in here? You know, you're going to get a drink upstairs. It's a load. So the guys are putting on all their makeup and getting a wacky drag. And so Casey announces the special treat and we get a drag show. We've got spicy chef and Louis, Louis, Louis. And Mike is bubble gum bubble gum like fun. Because girl want to have fun. So they then do like a limbo contest and there's just like it's like silliness and everything and actually Seth wins the the drag contest because bubblegum and Luisa have a they have a twerking off as the tiebreaker and they both terrible at it. So they just give it to Seth and there's like all this madness happening. And then down in the galley, just is just like,

Mercury, my dreams come true. So then the guests are down to dinner and they're like, she'll be, do you cook every night? She was like, yeah, that's how I got this ring. It was a few dinners after I admitted that I've really never been on the set of designing women. It was a rough one. It was lots to ravioli as I recall, but I got it. I got it. Thank you, time. Thank you, time. I put a lot of effort into that lie. I'm not gonna lie. I mean, I did lie, but I'm not gonna lie

about the lie. It was a lot of effort. I watched every episode of Designing Women. I even watched that show on Lifetime. She was on. I mean, I did it all. Okay, I was really trying to sell that story. Home made linguine with crab, crab, remoglata la tata. Enjoy. Yes, so they all are about to have their linguine and then turners like, oh my God. Oh my God, I'm just like shocked.

This is more shocking when I found out I would not get to meet Delta Burke, so you know who is not real mother. Wow. There's a hair in my linguine. Look, guys, it's right there. And she'll be like, oh my God. And then Marylee is like, oh my God, I'm just like shocked. I'm sure you are, Marylee.

You probably put it there from your purse. And she'll be like, babe, you have to say something. She's, oh, I am. So Oriana comes out and turns it so nice. She's like, I'm Oriana. There's a hair. And Oriana goes, that is disgusting. So that was the best answer ever you guys.

She said it's disgusting. Oh, yes. Yeah, they loved it. So then Orianna goes back to the kitchen and showed this to Jess. She's like, there's like a hair. And Jess goes, who's is it? And Orianna goes, I don't know.

Well, it's definitely not my hair. It looks like a man's hair. She picked up the hair. She's like, definitely not mine. And then she just puts her hands on the food, takes the hair out, ruffles the food around, throws some more cheese on it. She's like, there. And Ariana's like stunned. She's like, um, um, and just because what? What happened? What happened? Use your words. Use your words. Are there cheese pics? I mean, are there going to be

toothpicks with this or that dot, dot. This isn't like News your I'll give you one big. Here's another one Alaska and he has another one go and he has a last one away So she knows she leaves and she tells us I am I'm mortified the appropriate course of action is to give the guest a fresh play which is accurate yes, and That's terrible. I can't believe Jess just did that on national television. So it's just so it's again, I'm glad I could be here to do what any idiot could do. Clock hair out of a linguine. And like Jess's attitude seems to be, it's not my hair, so

I'm not going to bother making any one. If we're my hair, I'll make a new one, but this isn't my fault. So everyone else has to deal with it. Yes. So then back at the table, Ned Fyanders was like, I've had way more things than mine, Al's. And Shelby's like, is it okay now, babe? And Turner's like, yeah, I mean, they just had like another bowl ready to go. It's amazing. Amazing how quick this was. Look, there's still a print, there's still a thumbprint for where I put my thumb in the link. I'm sorry everyone, I don't know why I felt like mentioning that. What service? I mean, they left the retainer that I took out and put on the plate when I started eating the last one. I mean, wow, five star. It's amazing.

So of course, Orianna tells Fa about this and she's like, so Fa then goes up to Jess and goes, well, she just told me what happened. Oh, when she was too dumb to use her words. No, but the hair. Well, it wasn't my hair, it was a man's hair. It was wearing a t-shirt that said, boss to a sport, so I knew it was a man's. Yes, but she says that she just sent the dish back out. She goes, well, my hair just goes up like this.

That hair apparently is not cowlicked. Lucky person, whoever that is. Woo-hoo, her off for you. And she tells us, I've been a chef for a very long time, and it's an unfortunate situation when there's hair in the food. It's disgusting, I'm mortified, but I'm also not going to create a big drum out of it. It's not like I can undo it. And besides, I didn't have to eat hair, so there's always that.

If people had such a problem with hair, then why was it such a hit iconic musical? Answer me that, honestly. Well, while you're rolling your eyes at me, but it's not cool. That's why it's not cool. Just what do you want me to do? Magic it away. Petronus there. Now get out. Jocarez. Oh, you just caught me on fire.

Sorry. He's the wrong man. Get off the floor, Fey. I can't. I'm a folk now. Could you please? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's just a frog with a giant lipstick next to it. It's just a shark frog. So Jess says, well, the girls are the ones with their long locks down like they're going to Hootie at Upper Tonight Club. And then we see the clip in black and white of Fag going, the girls, we do full hair, full makeup, everything.

Oh, and be sure to shower three times that we have as many splits, fragile ends as possible before dinner. So, Jess is like, I publish it, I've gone to Captain Kerry about the weeks ago, but they'll want to look at Lann, so what am I supposed to do? I love that Jess is turning this around to an issue that she needs to go to the captain about them about. The churki. So she's like, well, you shouldn't have your service, you shouldn't have your hair down every day, but you want to be glam. Yes, yes, yes, I know.

And my hair is in a bun. And I'll tell you for free what color the hair was. Oh, what color was it? That would be five dollars. Who just said it would tell me for free. I the hair was. Oh, what color was it? That would be five dollars. You just had to be totally for free. I changed my mind, Faye. So she's like, well, I'm just irritated because they're not open to feedback, which is hilarious.

I love how she's turned this all around. Now, all of that said, of course, this is just a spot, right? This is terrible. She sent out the plate, mortifying. They should not be having their hair down during service. No way. But they're hair out. Everybody knows that. They teach you that in the food hand plink glass. Come on. Yeah. The food, the hair should be back. So then they go outside and turn her go, turn her's like, listen, they, Ariana, if I start to sneeze, don't panic.

I sneeze when I'm full. Another lie! Quiet, Mary-le, this is my charter. Making my own identity this time. It's genetic, I sneeze when I'm full. Don't panic, guys! So then Nathan is in bed and he calls his sister, Julie, and he, I've made mistakes and my boasts is looking over me overlooking me. I take care of everyone. I was like, oh my god, Nathan. Nathan makes one little mistake and look how he beats himself up. It's like my family will never eat again.

I know he has like the best work ethic out of all these people, even though he can't cut tape, apparently, but still. I feel like in some way he's like not getting respect on this boat, you know, probably because of Lewis. Because I feel like I feel more for Nathan because Lewis is always saying these little things like, oh Nathan gets very agitated. Oh, he knows he does not have his problem focusing or whatever.

I'm like, he is the one who seems most impacted by when he messes up. He actually seems to care about his performance. Yeah, he cares. So, the sister is like, well, when you make mistakes, all you have to do is just try to do something different to make up for the mistakes. He's like, I love you. Big head. Nathan, get off the ride. Yeah, we don't need to hear about your conversation with sister He's been speaking into the radio the whole time the whole time Nathan having a time as well to tell you warm your captain or not your sister Julie So I have to point out the before when Orianna went to failure tattletail

She was like you were not believe what just happened. There was a hair and then I took a bag and then she asked, the resist just acted and then she sent the bag out. I'm horrified, I mean, whatever. Like that's how she went to her. So now they're in the pantry again, Fay and Orianna and Fay's like, well, I think that Casey's been poisoned. And she's, oh my God, she totally has.

That's what our conversation was about today. That is what it was about her poisoning. She's like, oh, what have to she think? She's fucking five stars. She's, oh, yes, yes, she does. Orianna, you were the one doing all of this. What did Casey do? Yeah. I don't know where that came from. So now, so now, Jess then's like interior, I'm plating, plating interior. So they come up and they serve this like, field shop, Marseille, and Turner's like, you know what's funny? Do you wanna know what my nickname was in high school?

Shelter Burke. No, it was pork chop. Thank you very much. And I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry, honey, that's terrible. She's like, no, pork chop. It's a cool name. Oh Okay Turn her turn her space falls as she realizes all these news I've gone by with people taunting her and she's like, guys, thanks

She didn't even realize she was being bullied and now they've just like ruined her entire memory of her childhood Guys, you know what my nickname was in high school. It was stupid fuckface. I was like hey They would play hey stupid fuck fuck face I'm like hey guys he's got me wide load isn't that amazing cuz those are like the biggest trucks some married Lou goes oh my god uh-uh turners like uh-oh you got one two she's like yes and it's definitely not mine. Look at it, look at it. Say, do not kill me, I'm sorry. There was a hair in my dish. Oh, really, was it a fly's hair?

Did Jeff Goldblum come into here and drop a hair onto your dish? Hmm, interesting, let's see it. Ooh, can you describe the shape of the hair? Yes, it looked like a veal chop. Ooh, dear, that's the veal chop, it looked like a vial chop. Ooh, dear. That's the vial chop, is it? Yeah, she's like, it's over here.

It's over here, I saved it. Well, let me change your foods. I'll be sure to shave the next vial chop by bringing out to the next food. No one? No, though, that was pretty good, actually. I know, right, I'll be back. And she's like, I don't want another one.

I don't want another one. I just want this sparkling. Oh my gosh, There's a toenail in my sparkling water. Mary Lou. Mary Lou, the alarmist. So then, Faberine's the, the Veal chopper to the kitchen. She just promptly throws in the trash. She's like, ah, show just how it's done. So, um, uh, and there's like this weird moment where Terry is talking to Lewis, and he's like, so does he have his time in drag and Lewis goes, no, I mean, uh, I don't just sort of just sort of stop stocking. It was like, you're good at it.

Um, which I think is the first time Kerry's ever said that about doing anything. So, you know, well, I'm on that one. one. So then, um, Faith tells Jess, you know, oh, she found another hair. Just this has never happened to me in my entire thing. Don't worry about it. So then Orianna and Fair talking and, um, Orianna's like, well, at least we own up and we mess up. Oh, really? When did you own up? When you said that Jess just talks to you fat, like, I, at least we own up and we mess up. Oh, really? When did you own up? When you said that Jess just talks to you fat, like I'm trying to think of one time that she owned up on anything.

Yeah, I'm not really sure. Sure, and it was the time that she got all the eggs manage, eggs mixed up. No. So she's like, well, what did you do? Oh, no, I'm sorry. So then Oriya faces, yes, well she says it was up because we don't tie a hair back.

So then Oriya now runs up to the wheelhouse and she's like, yeah, but the captain. She goes, just you know, interior is on a very thin ice. I'll let them come talk to you on their own about it's a dot, dot, dot, just in case you didn't hear it. I carry his like, huh, and she just like leaves. And't hear it. It carries like, huh? And she just like leaves and it's just, cause what was that about? I don't know.

Someone's upset. I don't know. And I don't even know you're going to ask another question and in advance I'll say, I don't know. Can a man do his whittle? And so, uh, face sees Orianna coming down the stairs and she's like, what did you do? She's, um, I said that things were going on and we need to talk. And she's with Captain.

She's, yeah, I mean, you want to talk to him now? Are you want to wait? Oh, hell no. How is that not yelling at her? Hell no. It was literally nothing that needed to be elevated to the Captain. Like, I cannot believe that she did that. You, Sapa. You Sapa.

So the guests are asking for plans tomorrow is repelling and they're going to eat lunch at the destination. You guys excited? Yeah. And so then KC gets up for group hug with the guys. I don't remember what that was. KC's just in a really good mood because you know, like when you're about to get out of prison, even if it's like in six months, and if you've been in there five years, every day is like a day closer.

And I think that she thinks she's gonna get away from worry on as soon. So she's literally skipping around the boat this whole episode, smiling big. And now she's like, guys, I just wanted to say good job tonight on read. Right. That's have a group hug. And then just me, well, in the galley dinner is done. And so Oriana's in there. And she goes, sorry about earlier, I don't know what happened. I just, I didn't react in a way I wanted to and that was rude of me to say to you, your way to simple-minded to understand any of the things I say in the first place, so I shouldn't

be rude while I'm doing it. Inoriana is like, well, I appreciate that. There were a lot of conversations that happened at me today that weren't helpful. So I think we all for it need to sit down. You are not the boss of anybody, okay? you don't get to call family meetings. You are barely dating my dad. Yeah, so then Orianna, Orianna then tells Fay that just apologize and saying that like they're basically the surface that Fay obviously did not have I'm sorry that Jess obviously did not have any more linguine. And if I tell the captain, I have a feeling he might fall. And I don't want her to get fired, but she could be a dragon. But what shift can't be a dragon?

Am I, oh, please don't say dracarice again, please. I'm gonna sleep on it. But we have to both admit here just in private. She may be a dragon, but she's dragon who wears lipstick every single day. Am I ready to turn on my own? I'll be thinking. So then we see Seth eating Doritos. I don't know why, but we do. And then it's the morning and Jess and Faye are in their cabin. So just gets up. I mean, Faye gets up and she sits in her bed and she looks in the mirror and she goes, hell, not one day have I ever looked at my hair and said, good job. And Jess is like, it doesn't put me in a good mood to wake up to that.

The last thing I want to talk about is hair. I don't do well in toxic environment. You're mad that she's talking about. I know. Faze like that's all well and good but can you transform me back into a human this frog situation is a little bit pee-fish. I've made it this far without what I would rather keep it going please at least choose a junkie or something else as insulting but not as degrading please. I just want to be an animal that can see over the counter for sinless. It's very annoying having to hop, hop, each time to be like what's on that plate?

Hop, what's on that plate? So people are waking up and the guests love the drag show and then Faye is talking to Lewis and she's like is that a picnic course today? We need to talk to Jess. Lewis, could you meet me in the pantry? And so they get there and she's like picnic outside or not and he's like well the weather's not great and no one wants to sit in a gazebo in the rain. So talk to Jess. Yeah. So then Seth gets a call from Lewis. Set Lewis can bring Seth on the excursion. And then Jess, her plan is that she's just going to make some hot chocolate for the guests upon their return from their excursion. And this is when we have a really wonderful showdown between

Fay and Jess. Like this was this scene was amazing to me. So Fay is like, where are you? Well, she's sitting in a little something, an addition to hot chocolate. And Jess goes, what? It's just pointless feeding them and feeding them and feeding them. It destroys their meal. Well, I'll tell you what destroys their meal here from your head in the meal. And she tells us, I don't want to make this tit for

tassel first snow, but it's up to me what I tell the captain about the hair, or how much I tell the captain about the hair. And she tells her, so what we're gonna do is a nice spread of sandwiches please. I'm not feeding them twice. Can you do sandwiches? Yes. Can you do something else in addition to sandwiches? No. I'm trying to compromise here, Jess. I don't know. She's a little not compromisey about anything.

Like, what is she giving up? She's like, I'm doing a compromise here. Just a please do sandwiches. And another dish. And Jessica's bring it down. I don't want to argue and you just saw it to me too. I'm going to make them a nice lunch. I fucking hate making sandwiches.

The then page looks around and goes, we're going to do it today. We're going to make sandwiches today. People need to respect the chief's tooth sometime. It's because we have a lot of power. So the guests are all getting ready to go. And Jess is making the angry sandwiches I've ever seen in my life.

She's like throwing things on the bread and then she just squirts the jaunves. She's like, she is, yeah, she is not happy. She's like stupid, peasant food. And by the way, the way that, I mean, they won that fight. They basically was like, you were not,

I am making the call here and I'm in charge. That was the most cake-chastain moment we've had in the post-cake-chastain era. Like, that is the first person who has brought true cake-chastain energy to the boat, right? Yeah, I mean, she did it. I was impressed because just did it. Yeah, she did it worked. So then the guests get ready to go and yeah, Sam which is blah blah blah. And Mike is packing the boat with

Orianna and he goes, if you wait, you forget something, I swear you forget my mad. She's like, I'm we have everything. And she's literally standing there eating chips. As she said, she's like, we literally have everything. Okay, I check everything. So yeah, and then they, they the guys get on the boat and shop is like, who wants to celebrate my engagement engagement to lie shall be lies nothing but lies. Hmm, and so phase like for this excursion, you've never heard me say this before in the show. So let me just tell you, audience, this excursion is one of the most thrilling and dangerous

excursions my guests will ever have. Yeah, why do they always have phase selling the excursions? They always have her being like, to guess today, I'll be climbing up a mountain that turns to do a volcano and it reps every day at 1 p.m. and at 12.57, they're going to dip a toe in it and then run down the hillside and out right up is the lava, the 3.11 lifetime. And then after that, there'll be some sandwiches. So they get there and the guests start rappelling and the couples like, oh my God, we're scared, but they, you know, they do it.

And meanwhile, Lewis, Mike and Orianna are setting up the pick rank. And so Lewis is like, well, we've come to help them because I'm afraid what Faye will say, the sit meeting, I'm not used to a stew team being this demanding. I'm trying to work with you, Faye. I'm really trying. Yeah. That can't always help set up pic next, dude. Literally. You're not your face isn't going to be put on the penny. And when he says, I'm afraid of what phase you're going to see at the tip meeting, it's like, good, then it worked. The point is,

oh, if I don't do something right, someone's going to call me out again. That's a job. Correct. That's how it works. Actually, had a job. Yeah, look at that. So they set up the tables and then Orianna loves washing people. So she just passes by and she says, um, if you can make a mule double, that's great.

And they're on hills, of course. And so Lewis is like, yeah, it's not going to be level. Yeah. So then Nathan, Mima on the boat the boat like he's still like sad. He's super sad about yesterday's mistake. And he's like, so he's like apologized and like, sorry again, about yesterday and cares like, well, it was a huge responsibility. It's a huge responsibility being on that bow.

And I don't want you boy, you'll feel for any more. So you can prove to me that you can take these steps and take it seriously and take it hard. So then we're repelling and, um, improve to me that you can take these steps and take it seriously and take it hard. So then we're repelling and, um, Fay, you know, it's very helpful when you're like thousands of feet in the air, whatever it will have any feet. I don't really understand feet and distance, but they're very high up and they're coming down and Fay's just jumping up and down and screaming, I can feel.

Well, dad and ladies, you girls have got some balls! So meanwhile, Mike is looking for potato chips around the picnic. Mike! No sea chips! Mike, miss, bringles! No chip, only fae! So Fae is coming, she's on her way. Oh, look at that sandwich and the chips! And Orianna's like, oh, hello, look at that sandwiches and the chips.

And Orianna's like, um, well, we got them all, but not the chips. Wait, it's your responsibility to get the chips. Yeah, I understand that, but they're not here, so what do you want me to do? It's not acceptable. It's not acceptable. She's like, look at these crudities, that looks pathetic. She's, well, I know, but like we just had to roll with it. She's like, what was your responsibility to bring it?

I just gave you a chance to shine. And, Ariana's like, if you want to play this game, we can play this game. Like, whoa, Arianna. If you want to play this fucking game, we can play, throw her off the fucking cliff. Oh my god. In any other season, well, I mean, I say that while

Camille still has a job on the other below deck, but get rid of it. It's the bottom line. Yeah. And phase like, it's not a game. And Shelby's like, Shelby, meanwhile, Shelby and Turner are sitting nearby and Shelby's like, Oh, I forgot the chips. So, Oriana's like, you're making a scene in front of the guest. So please stop. And Mary-Lise, like, guys, I think I found the chips you're looking for. That's the bag of hair, Mary-Lise. Well, onto your tricks. Right? Hair's in flies. Interesting, Mary-Lise. So then, Ariana's like, you're making a scene in front of the guest.

And to yell at me in front of the guest, that is not professional, which is true, but also smarting off and fucking up and then being like, get over it. And if you want this to be a fucking deal, it can be a, you wanna play this fucking game? That's not professional either, so quiet down. So then phase really upset. So she's at the van with Mike and Lewis

and she's like facing away from the guests and she's like, I just don't understand it. She's not not rocket science. We check and we check, double check. But obviously you didn't cave, man. Obviously you didn't. We put bag, stoke is bag, we put bag. Me hold bag, brought hold bag after. So then phase like, well, it's just half a

two hours with spend this morning backing this up and still wrong. And Lewis is like, it's frustrating, but please don't take this out on me and Mike. And phase like, do you understand it's my job? That's in jeopardy here. It's much frustrated by the stupid miss. And yes, that's you're going down our cheek. Because you imagine getting fired for forgetting chips. Well, I'm sorry, Faye, I've really appreciated your lipstick and hair curling game, but the lack of crisps. You'll never work on these seas again. Get out.

It's like a bag of, it's a whole stash of Cape Cod chips. And the crates. Wait a minute, is this a hair in my tea? Oh God, I can't take it. And that brings us to the end of the below deck. And Vinsha! Everyone literally had to go through the catalog of all the below decks in my head.

I'm like below deck sailing, below deck by the terrain, and below deck regular, below deck, my Mediterranean, below deck, regular, below deck disco fries, below deck meatball. Thank you, everybody. How about that? Thank you so much for being here. This was really fun. And we'll talk to you next time.

Also, don't forget to go, I'm sorry, I got distracted. My snails are making out right now and my fish tank tonight. There's like a love story going on in there. So everyone, thanks for being here. Don't forget to go get your tickets for Crappens Live, the Cheetah brand, Tula, starting next month, very soon, three weeks.

Oh my God. Go get them, check out our Patreon and we will be back with more episodes. And of course, Duel Hello coming to our premium feed starting. Ben is probably right. Let's face it. Ben is usually right. So I'm assuming that's this week. Well, it's going to be this week or next week. The point is if you subscribe, it's, it'll just come to you. It's going to be there. You know, and it'll be there. Like after you say it. It doesn't matter when it gets there because when it's there, it's gonna be there forever It's gonna be us loving us each other and you okay guys, so subscribe for the love okay, and thanks for being here

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