Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Adventure: Snack Attacked

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Below Deck Adventure gets a bit spicy when Jess refuses to provide snacks after a horse ride. Faye's power lipstick has an uphill battle tonight. Also, Seth gets a bit of power and immediately upgrades his dick status. This week's premium bonus is a talk about season one of Peacock's "Traitors". Join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but people are just laughing. Who cares what happens when there's so much that's happened? Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about. On your bros.

I'm Ronnie, that's been over there. Hello, Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good, you little munchkin. How's everything going over there? Oh my goodness, it is so good. How's everything going over there with you? Good, you little Munchkin. How's everything going over there? Oh my goodness. It is so good. How's everything going over there with you? Good. We are about to go back on tour. We've started two weeks, actually. Very exciting, Tom's for us. We just announced our final cities. We will be going to Boston, Massachusetts, the Willbeth, Yeta, and then to Mass and Tucket Connecticut.

At the Foxwoods Casino. Nothing fancy. The Matt cannot wait to go there. Actually, it's going to be so much fun. Both those places, get your tickets at watchupcrapins.com. I'm going to go through all the cities just because it's now our first time that we have a complete list. So here we go. Starting February

2nd, Austin, Texas, Dallas, Phoenix, Los Angeles. That's where the 2023 Golden Crappies will take place at the Wilton Theater on February 24th. Then we're off to Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Salt Lake City, Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto, Philadelphia, New York, city, Washington, DC, San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago, Columbus, and then Boston and a matching ticket. So take that. Thank you everybody for being with us. Thanks for getting tickets. Those of you who've gotten them, of you have not go get to you It's okay who's stopping you and also join us over at patreon for our bonus episodes and Happens on to band videos this week so far. We did a Southern Charm a Southern hospitality Video recap and we did a bonus on

Peacocks and you show the video recap and we did a bonus on Peacocks new show the Traitors which is a great reality show so we watched all the episodes and just You know gave our opinions we opined If you will we put it all out there. I'm gonna say it. I think it may have been the best new reality show competition In like 10 years. It's a big statement. It's a big statement.

I'm open to hearing, you know, I'm open to hearing other, some pushback on that, but I really can't think of anything that's been better. I mean, love Island, I guess technically, is a competition, but I don't leave you with as a competition, but in terms of like one of these things with like a elimination, like constant eliminations

and woodling down your cast, this is the best one in years and years and years. Well, it was definitely the most fun for me because of Bravo people being on and I actually knew some of the people who were on there because Big Brother, stuff like that. So yeah, it was super fun. Also, it's fun watching Bravo friendships form.

I think Peacock is doing that really well where they're putting fun watching Bravo friendships form. I think Peacock is doing that really well where they're putting unlikely Bravo friendships, like this one we had Kate and Brandy, like they got to meet. And the ultimate girls' trips, seasons, where you're seeing all these people meet who you wouldn't normally get to see interact. So I like that.

Yeah, and Resa being in the mix, I think Resa was really hoping to stay on that show a lot longer And you could see because he started to cry when he was eliminated. Oops, sorry spoiler Well, it's a first episode you just boil that which you know we just I'll edit it I'm so bad. I yes, I apologize. I'm a little bit no no because it was important for the next piece of gossip but Yeah, I was trying to say that all the people the entire recap yesterday and then we went ahead and spoiled it ourselves No, you can edit it. You can edit that part out you can edit that part

No, it's important for this part. So Resa was on watch what happens live and That he's resa so Andy looked like he wanted to murder him half the time. I just think that that's an actual reaction to Ressa, you know. So they were playing all these games because you know, watch what happens. That's what they do. Like, who's got bigger boobs? A hamster or Wonder Woman? What do you think, Ressa? So they were playing one of those games. And he finally asked Ressa, who do you think is the most overrated real housewife and he's like I'm gonna cause a lot of problems with this but I'm gonna say Kyle

Richards because I'm gonna VP back I'm gonna VP back. So you know it wasn't that mean I I mean, he could have said Kyle Richards, because she's lame. She thirsty. All she does is like trying, you know, she's a succubus for other people's fame. She doesn't actually have any of her own. Her hands are funky. She's fucked over everybody that she's ever known and she looks terrible and felt hats, but continues to wear them every day. You know, you could have said so many mean things. All he really said was he missed his lease of ad repot. Right. And so then the college Richard's got onto,

I think it was on Twitter. It was on some social media platform. And she shot back. Okay, she shot back and she said, I'm pulling it up. I want to get the direct, the actual quote to make sure I don't want to get any of this wrong. So she, of course, now I can't find it.

Oh, good, I got it. I got it. So then she goes and she says, wasn't this show canceled as in Shazas sunset? Wasn't this his show canceled? And wasn't he the first one voted off on traitors? I can't even be offended. And he wrote back,

my show was canceled and I was eliminated first, but my sister and all of my castmates still like me. Shrug! Yes, it's like my sibling and all my castmates still take my calls. How are Kathy Hilton and Kim Richards doing call Richards? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like they're the least talented shadesters of all of the real housewives. Don't think you're going to be able to come for Reza, okay? No one can go lower than Reza. Yeah, yeah. Like Reza, Reza is going to go for it, Kyle. Don't even mess with that, all right?

And he's also in his position of desperation because he's off a show right now. And he needs to be back on a show. So he's going to do what it takes. Yeah. But nice trying, Kyle. But nice try. Hi, all. You look stupid. Okay. So let's get into this episode, which is a below dick adventure. Season one episode 11, zero fjords given zero fjords. So we're in the middle of Faye having a meltdown because there is a picnic and the potato chips are missing and she doesn't know where they are and everyone's annoying

her. Everyone's frustrating her. So she's just like she's just snapped at Orianna. She just told Orianna, I gave you a chance to shine and this is what you need. So she's now gone up to the van and is venting to Lewis and Mike and just mad. I think, you know, it's just putting food in the bag. That's all you have to do is put food in the bag. I'm just frustrated by stupidness. And someone asks for a, oh, a turner is like, oh, where are their lives in that bag?

Can I have a line? Because they're all afraid because this has happened in front of the guests, right? So they're like, oh my God, phase mad. Maybe she's going to shed hair down our throats. That's a running storyline is that there's always hair in their food. So Orianna is telling us, I'm clearly face-past, but it's not me. It's not the chips. It's something else she's dealing with because there are sandwiches, there's alcohol, and I guess just jumped off a cliff.

They don't fucking care. So, age-much. What are you insinuating? Go ahead and just say middle-aged crisis. I fucking dirty. Go ahead and say heat flash flash or you know that if I don't hate you enough chip loser So I actually did not think that's what she was implying at all. I thought she meant like I Did I thought she was like I didn't hysterical I Didn't actually think much of what she was implying. It wasn't really listening to Ariana I just So now the guest head back to the yacht and Faye says, ETHER WONDERL I've a want to know where my hair is so big,

it's because it's full of secrets, thank you Tina Faye. I feel like I have to keep everyone's secrets, the hair, from Gary, the Uniton sandwiches, from Jess, the theory of deodorant from Michael Paul Little Goblin. I just wish someone would tell me where the goddamn Chrissa, I bet it was Jess. It was Jess. So then the captain's like, no, nothing, no, nothing, Primp, the Hortom, I don't fuck it up. And then Orianna's telling the guys, um, pack up and try to pack the best way to get things as clean as possible things.

Thank you. So Casey meanwhile cannot wait to change rooms. She's really excited because their room right now is a style. On top of everything else that's going on between Casey and Ariana, it's messy on there. And Casey likes things tidy and she says, if it's one thing to be a botch, and it's quite another thing to be a messy botch. Yeah, that's what I tell Ben all the time.

Like Ben, it's one thing to be a bitch. It's another thing to be a messy bitch. That's right, you are a messy bitch. Not cleanliness wise, you're a very clean bitch. Clemliness wise. You're a very clean bitch. Cleanliness wise. So Nathan does hot tum. I don't care. Okay, so then the guests come back to the boat

and Casey's doing the towels and the guys pack up, the guys are packing up the picnic and Seth is like, what are we supposed to do with this food? Mike trash food. Trash, we're gonna eat this food right bro. Eat trash food eat trash food eat trash food. It's like the caveman eat prey loves.

Mike's like on a fucking journey. Me eat what me want. So uh, Kerry calls Lewis to the wheelhouse to tell him that the weather is bad and he says, I got bad, Juju, we're going back to Port. And then we're here a story, here we go. 12 years ago, picture it, off to East Coast of Italy. We got struck by lightning. We lost all equipment on deck, couldn't see where we would go and waited for it to break

and over the top of the deck. It's pretty scary. And I still didn't crash my or Captain Glenda Captain Sandy, high five me, and also Captain Jason, cause everyone's crashed area at this point haven't they? But we're not taking chances again. Nightlights for everybody. So then, makers like, eat or throw woods.

Eat or throw woods. Eat or throw woods. So it's like eat them, don't waste food. So Mike's like, baaah! Like you, that's out of big caveman burp and they kinda laugh and then they're packing up and putting stuff back in the van. And then we see it's 702 PM.

And back on the boat, someone's like, oh my god, I was so good, I was on my best behavior ever. And Kerry is like, I just want to give you all some update. Wither is putting us at port. We get picked up. We can have dinner on deck. So I can drink on draw. I think that exiled everybody. You're stuck. But you're stuck playing spin the bottle with Captain Carey. What an adventure! So the um the anchors coming up and Casey is steaming and she says to Lewis, she's like, you've changed and he goes, well you've missed oh yes I did change. I missed this you missed the strip T's and she goes, you need me makes me uncomfortable. Especially Lewis nudity, let's be honest here. So Lewis is like,

you know, nobody likes watching Play Doh being slowly unwrapped. Yeah. Yeah, it's like when you take the plastic wrap off of the dough, you're set rising in a bowl. So rude. So Lewis is like, well, you need to say it makes you hungry. If you were eating a salad, what kind of salad would might be? I'd say a Caesar with an egg on top. I'll be the egg. So now, Fagos in to to carry Mike. Mike is not a Caesar salad with an egg on top. Well salad with a wedge at best.

If we have to say he's a salad, we'll give him a wedge. Like just a big clunk of iceberg lettuce with like blue cheese poured all over it. Yeah, he's a potato salad, I think. He's just a potato. Well, he's a potato salad, I think. He's just a potato. Well, he's just straight up potato. So Faye goes to visit Carrie and she's like, every time I do a picnic, I feel left-end by things being forgotten. And the last night someone was going in the galley

and I have to have a chat with the girls about a few things. Hoorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr when things. So then the storming starts and there's three minutes where something's happening on deck. I don't know what arriving to the port. So go on into this tiny ass port once again. There's a maneuver there way. You know, everyone just can't stand it when this big ass boat comes in knocking over all their canoes. So, uh, Fay decides to have a meeting with the, with her department and Jess. And Jess is like, I actually have to work to do.

Why are we doing this? A big Alaska does not just bake itself. Does Alaska bake itself? No. So they start docking in Faye Pulse of a meeting and Turner is like, oh my god, this feels scary. And he's like, ladies, ladies, there's things we let slip. I lost shit in front of my clients. You forgot stuff. There was a hair in food last night. And then Seth pops a fender like right over his head. He's like, yep, that was nothing to me. And then it

cuts back to Faye going, moving forward to service. We're going to put our hair completely tied back just to be a bit more professional, a bit nicer. And let's get through the next two charters. Let's mark this up for a win for Jess so she can feel like she's done something right this chart. Uh, and so now the boat docks in Oriana is like, do we find out where your like Chippag is and because it doesn't matter. This is the end of the story. Please do not make me lose my shit again. I give you a chance to shine, Oriana. Oh, turner's some hot tub and is asking for shots. And so Nathan uses this radio to tell Orianna to bring shots. And Orianna Ariana's like coming now. So then Jess is telling us your only is good as your last meal.

So hopefully the girls don't fuck it up because tonight I'm doing surf and turf. They're really into this chorizo business. And then where do you? I like this chorisa business. Did you hear the latest food trend that something involving chorisa business and their interest? So Lewis is giving out a schedule. And Nathan is talking about like how he was in trouble for helping interior, but now that Lewis and Orianna are banging or almost banging, they're supposed to always be helping them, which is kind

of true. And then Fay is telling us, oh, the guests want to celebrate gay pride. And the fact last night, Stinna didn't go as planned, we have to make the show, we have to make sure the guests are just a blown away away. Not that gave a pride. I want a careful ambience for tonight. So so just is like crispy up some octopus mournfully and then Nathan's going to bed and Casey kisses Mike on the cheek and gets lipstick on his cheek and he goes It on me! Lip on me! Kiss on Mike! Kiss on Mike!

So, Faye is like, Well, if the boy's happy with that bitch and then moaning, I'm more or for it! So, Casey's showing Mike how to make a bed, which is like a sitcom. Yeah, this bed. Yeah, well, you take a sheet and then you put it over. She rock hit, hit kill, kill. Like no. So as you sleep on, you just put it over this corner of the,

oh, fire, my fire. All right, Mike, just stop you now you look like ET. Get out of that sheet. Mike comfortable safe speech sheets are Microsoft America thread count nice. So then phase taking drink orders and Shelby, I believe it shall be one of the ladies is like brushing her hair. Yeah, Shelby pots daughter of not any pots. Shelby pots hair litterer and hair framer by the way. Hair framer and dryer of name stealer attempt her at name stealer not mine it shall be pots

nope so turners like if there's a hair it's Shelby's not mine everyone and so Fais is in her mind because she hasn't told the captain yet she doesn't want any jokes about the hair so she says I am purely walking on eggshells and make sure Kerry doesn't find out about his bloody hair. I will get through this charter and we will get through it. This charter will have a chance to shine.

So Kerry joins them and meanwhile Mike downstairs is like, you'll draw a shower. I do bad. Bad bad, kill bad, kill bad. The comicants stop stepping the bed. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and scum. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle.

And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us. We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then we cut back to eating and someone's like, oh my god, Turner, you're froggy again. Which was that? No, because Turner said something about feeling. She says you feel in the froggy and someone goes, there's Turner again saying froggy. And I was like, yeah, Turner, you always say froggy. She was like, what?

And they're like, what does it even mean? And Shelby is like, she means it, like, it means she's like, it means spicy. And I'm like, why don't you just say spicy? And Turner's like, it's not as fun. And then Hannah, Hannah, we've not heard much from, goes, just like saying social in a course is better than let's talk. And they're like, ha, ha, and carry goes.

That's awesome. That's awesome. That was hilarious in the analogy. Listening to you tell this, you know how you find yourself just talking about random things from these shows to people that don't watch them. I'm sure you do it too because everyone who watches Bravo doesn't. But I was a dinner with my parents and I was like, so there was this part where there's this chick and she goes, hey, you know my nickname and you know what? My nickname was my school pork chop.

And she was all happy, but then her friends were all really sad for her. And she's like, what's wrong with pork chop? Then can I just tell you, we laughed and laughed. We laughed and laughed. It was like the first time I had ever heard it. And here we are again with another turner scene, but I don't understand this froggy what I want pork chop back Bring back pork chop Hannah pork chop only turn up pork chop only Turner Turner pork chop pork chop my sleep in pork chop I just remember with froggy. I remember there was an episode of real hassles of Atlanta where Kenya Moore said

If you want to get frog, then let's get Froggy and I came on this podcast, I was like, what is she even talking about? Froggy, that's ridiculous. Like, what does she even say? Kenya Moore just says, we were things in an everyone mess with me being like, Ben, Froggy is slang.

And then, and so like, this scene- That's literally us on every single recap. So, yeah, pretty much. So watching this scene and watching them watching them be like, there's Turner saying froggy again, I was like, I was that person. That's always us. We're like, Matt's janky. What a stupid word. I mean, this is like years ago. You know, we're flying skeptics.

So, let's see. By the way, audience, I know it seems like we're talking skeptics. Yeah. So, let's see. By the way, audience, I know it seems like we're talking about nothing. It's because literally nothing happens on the show, okay. We're making an effort. So Casey is showing Mike the Beds still. And she's like, so now you know what it's like to be still. He's like, still, dead. So, Mike, my joke, my joke, What it's like to be still. He's like, stupid.

Mike, Egyptian cotton soft. Mike likes soft. Mike, okay, Mike. Well, I know that you enjoyed bundling up that sheet, the shape of a little bunny, but it has to go back to sheet form and go on to a bit No! Soft bunny might like Too bad too bad too bad save bunny Now dinner is being delivered and Faye is like oh my god. There's something there's something on this gate. Oh please hold It's a bit of onion. Everybody combed down.

So, how do I know that? It's a bit of parsley. Never mind. I'll try on everyone. Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to dinner. In addition to phase hair, you might also possibly get to taste tonight of Linda Cannellini Beans and Dr. Puss. Enjoy. Are we going to work Linda Cartellini

into every recap this week? Because we're now going on to three. We've been into three episodes. Damn it, I wish we could retroactively weave her into... But how can we have a, how can we have a cannellini beans reference and not mention Linda cannellini? I mean, come on. Linda cannellini, yeah.

But the cartollini, yeah. Okay, so the first thing I thought of last night, when I was watching this show, when she's like, I'm making a cannellini puree. I was like, of course, it's the one week we're making actual cannellini bean jokes earlier in the week, because we're making Linda Cartelini jokes. That, of course, cannellini beans come up. You're really going to enjoy this Scooby-to-Be-to-Do.

Talk about a Scooby snack. Should we invite Linda Cartelini to the crappies? You think she would come and just be like, if anyone out there, we're presenting out the bat signal. Anyone out there knows Linda Cartelini. Please let us know right away. We have a very special award, this is for her, at the 2023 crappies the cannellini award the best being award

but cannellini cannellini Vanguard award first annual first annual white bean award goes to Linda Cardleini so then um one of the ladies like, oh my god, Linda Cartel Leaning beans, I may have done button, my top button. And just like any boys available to do dishes. So they start, you know, going through dinner service and stuff. And Jess tells Mike, she's like, um, would you get the girls ready? Because I'm plating now. And he's like, crook plating! Because I'm the chef.

He's plating. Crook plating our chef. Crook plating chef. Chef dead. Chef dead. Here chef. Chef not soft. Chef not funny.

So then we go to carry his regaling the guests with his stories of the seas. He's like um well, I've rescued not people actually really never got on the back kind of trouble, but I have rescue to adorable pumps Pump skis and oskey. All right. Everybody pays around these pictures. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that Um, actually that looks like captain Sandy. I'm having dinner with Saddam Hussein Um, and then holding a sword in another hand fighting off pirates. Oh, sorry, sorry, this is the picture Sandy sent me. We're right back to the Huskies, back to the Huskies and the Pomskies. There you go.

So I've got a Pomsky. His name is Benny I rescue the Amy. Doesn't look like a little Pomsky. Looks like a Husky. I reckon they brought two Pomskies and a Husky came out. So if I breed the My Husky with another Husky, maybe a Pomsky comes out. I don't know how the rhythm works for these things, but it's a QS dog. And he's hilarious. Also, not related to a shot ski, just a palm ski. So Fag goes down to pick up food. He's like,

that looks nice and colorful. Oh, spinach and truffle risotto with beef fillet. And the gay is like, this is my death row meal, patch. And then you think you're like, oh, I love steak. And Shelby starts asking Carrie about his girlfriend. And he's like, yeah, well, she's from Turkey. And Turner goes, I prefer chicken. I couldn't resist, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, feeling a little froggy. So, Orian is like, I'm Seth, if you're not doing anything, we have dishes and a sexy chief seal who would appreciate your help. And he's like, I would love to have a sexy chief stew, yeah! And so, Orian goes to face like, oh my god, you have to hook up a sash.

Checkmate, I haven't been hooked up with since so long, really. I'm not really sure to telephones even go into walls. Oh, the plugs have changed. So then Orianna is basically, basically Orianna wants Seth to have sex with face that way, she'll out. So now the gaze are going to bed.

And Seth is like, he shows up to do the dishes, et cetera. And just like cursing in the kitchen, just cursing to herself. And, and face being flirtatious with Seth, Seth, she's like, Oh, that's mad to me. I'm just gonna go right in between your legs, then. And you go for it.

Oh. That's my speedy. I'm just gonna go right in between your legs there. And he goes, go for it. Ooh. So, just, just like, gold dammit, fucking fucks her. Yes, between the legs. He's a hot guy and he has confidence. So, Seth's like, well, I just want you to know, I'm going out of my way to help, especially you. Me? Yeah, you.

And she's like, well, I just want to have a crew, so yeah, working. Good night. And she tells us, well, I haven't, I love a handsome man who helps, but I haven't had that wow conversation with Seth yet. I'm still unsure. In terms of a wow conversation, I just don't know. What does he think about the Dyson air hair curler? I just don't know. Wow, maybe boy, wow, me. Spoiler alert. I don't think anyone's had a wow conversation with Seth yet. That's

something that I won't even say is on the horizon. It's just one of those things that's not going to happen in life. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you just got to see things for what they are and not trying to have conversations with them. You know, you know, it's like trying to talk to a surfboard. You're only going to get so much out of that. Yeah.

So now it's the final day of the charter and Casey surfing breakfast and everything and Jess is making breakfast and Jess, I guess they serve Shelby a big drink, maybe a big mimos or something because Shelby's like, that's a Shelby poor. Got that humor from not my mother, Annie Potts, just someone else else just another funny lady so cases like yeah just doing some morning service and face like oh yes we will still unpacking them shortly from the picnic and oh look at this here the crisps and cases like no why and like Michael did you know know this bag came from Michael? Mike, man, a man, man! Is it yours?

Where did this bag come from? Bummy soft. I knew it! It's the Christmas! Oh, she's like, this is what we were looking for the whole day. I can't believe that everything I've been through. She has treating me like garbage, all season. The one time I break down and cry

is just a missing bag of crisps. So embarrassing. Yeah. So they missed them because they put them in a trash bag. Which I can see, but I carry everything in trash bags. I'm like, you know what the, the trash bag, you know? But also like you put things in a trash bag. Do you not remember you put things in a trash bag? And also when you're looking everywhere for something, why did you not look into the bag? Just look into the bag. Because it's got trash in it, God forbid. You know, with that suggestion

that you just made, why didn't you just look into the bag you never take all that Wow situation Well conversation right there Now that's a loud conversation big boy. That's a wow moment just like Linda Cardellini showing up on a stage That was with 995 a minute or two that might be a little cardelini tons Mother trucker if This clear was still alive. I would say hey, miss clear. What's a wow situation? She would be able to win this a bit that Oh, I'm sorry to shrink a bubbled water and hiccup

so Mike is like, oh, bin bag, crispy bin bag. And he was just like, where are we? We weren't looking in bin bags, were we? So then Justin Feier talking and Jessica's a babe. You need to communicate. You don't tell me anything. The guests are at the table waiting. I know nothing about it.

Well, I did actually, I radioed you. Where's the radio? And it's not on her. It's like, well, maybe it's just... So it's right there, isn't it? There's the radio. No way me, don't you? We thought people knew the same thing. Careful. And you? Yeah, Jess is mad because the guests are down at the table and they didn't have any food on the table yet. And Jess is like, she's like, they're a guest that you got the table and there's nothing on the table. What is wrong with people? So she's just thinking like, oh, we're back to incompetency when actually it's Jess who had

completely ignored her radio when they messaged her. Well, Jess has always blamed someone else and she talks to people like shits. Well, I'm fucked off about it. So, do you need two of us? And, Kasey's like, I'm going to knock out the cabins. And, she's like, yeah, you can make fully-energy shaft in there. Leave me out of that. So, Faye. Jess, have a question, Jess.

Would you like me to take egg you orders yet or not? And Jess is like fiddling around to me and she goes, does it look like I'm ready for egg orders? What a fast-king yes or no. Use your brain, woman. I've already got enough of my mind. What with this Charis of business So clean clean clean clean clean clean clean clean clean clean So if they take some ex-benadict requests which they get and She delivers them and it's fine and then face like well overall I'm just so happy with the way the charter went but

Carey still doesn't know about the hair Oh, I guess so happy though. I'm just pinching myself What's gonna go wrong? So now they line up you know to say goodbye to the gas and Jess is wearing she calls it a babushka Which it's not a babushka. I think it's just a fur hat One of the ladies gave it to Jess, way to go, Heather Gay, way to keep yours. Wow. So a hat full of hair, just gonna point that out.

There's a lot of things just come in here with these people. A lot of hair. So they all line up and then the primaries give their little speeches, Shelby does whatever Shelby says about like froggy What a crazy word am I right got to keep leaving? I'm marrying this bitch and then turner goes I mean I know we may have had a couple of hairs in our food, but we had a great time You know the producers made her say that by the way a producer were like hey before you leave You should probably mention that there was hair on your food.

Yeah. And she's like, I'm sure you guys were panicking in the back, but we didn't see it. I mean to me, you're all pork chops. Carried like, what the fuck? That gets actually called a pork chops. We've really fucked this one up. Get down, sis, all of you. If all I can't trust my crew, that's a problem.

All I need to get to the bottom of this immediately. And to think I even showed these people on a door of a photo of Benny Mipub's key. God! I mean, it's not worth it. That's right. Tip meeting and carries like, go to be honest, cause not 100%. I'm standing next to the child, I guess. And then I find out there's here.

Or I feel like a clown, a hellish clown, which makes it even worse. And the guests expect captain to know everything. It affects how fat the tip info loop is. And it's not fat, explain. So Jessica's, well, it was very frustrating and mortifying at the same time, so I was pissed about it. We just wrapped it up and put it on it and chucked it in the bucket. That's what we did with this Theresaau business, and Carrie goes, well if they thought it was

dealt with, then they would have made a joke, they wouldn't have made a joke about it at the end. And we've done this law and after to know that shit happens, but I need to be made aware of it. And so just just kind of stays still, and she tells us, well, it happens. But the girls were serving food with their hair down. It was not my hair. What motivates me of a guest and they're happy. Well, not that happy because they left you 16k. That's bad. Yeah, it was very, very bad. Yeah. Well, it just seems like on the deck side. It's like the first week all over again. So I know we're getting towards the end of the season, but you're only as good as your last day. So Seth, so you're getting along with the crew, etc. You seem blander than the first of you got here, which is strange. Doesn't usually happen that way

But I think that's a good quality because we need bland people to lead the boat So I want you to be the lead deckhand And he's like yeah Unlocked Lewis. He can be less friendly. Oh, I'm giving Lewis one more Optin in the wheel has thin and Lewis is like, I have this feels so good. Now I'm lead that kind Now that I guess it's Sathy says is like yeah, and I'm lead that can they'll see who I really am I'm not just bland. I'm a dick. So Carey Lewis, they got to Lewis looking like this is not the best decision, but I'm

not going to say anything because I'm Lewis. Yeah, Lewis is happy to have people, you know, fall on the traps. So Kerry calls Faye up to the wheelhouse and he's like, so Faye, walked in Gittell on me and he's thinking about the hair and the food. Could you explain this a little bit? And she goes, well, she tells us, she goes, I can't believe I've just been pulled into the wheel. I was just because I'm trying to cover for someone that treats me like crap. I'm done. I'm not taking any more jess's shit. Yeah. And she's like, well, I wanted to sleep on it and to see how to deliver it to you

because I knew if I told you during service, everything would have fallen apart, especially Jess. What an emotional, have you seen her lately? Just cut to Jess, like... I can't complete these, Derek. He's like, well, all I would have done is gone to the guests. We're all here to do a job, and if we're going to be a team, you need to communicate. Thanks, love. Get over here, let me slap your back so it tuts. Would you like to see a photo of an extremely adorable dog because I have one right here, here you go.

Oh, man, that's so nice. So Jess and Casey are texting each other. Casey's like, would you like to have? Cool, bye, late time. And Jess is like, hmm, fine. So then there's some talk of toilet paper. Lewis is like, well, no last row, lift toilet paper.

Mike, no notice. Mike has bad. God, not the sheets again. Scotch, you're so obsessed with the sheets, this charter. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Sheets pretty. So now it's time for the preference sheet. And we have a coming up next for our next charter is

we have Ariana, who's a luxury hair extensions company, owns a luxury hair extension company. And she's with her college friends, and they wanna celebrate their glory days. They're gonna do a quick 24 hour charter and it's gonna be like an elevated HBCU and they're gonna do a homecoming. Yeah. So the guests are requesting a whole spec riding.

Ah, whole spec riding in the mountains. It's a totally different part of whatever they've been seeing. It's the friscious day you ever gonna breathe in your god damn life. Breathing that air is a god damn adventure! And nothing says adventure like like an adorable bond. Let's look at that bond. Oh, let's look at the bond. We can have a bond.

Let's go look at photos of the bond. Oh, I would like to see a photo of the bond. Oh, it is beautiful. Oh, no, what is this? And Jess scrolls on Lewis' phone to a picture of Lewis' dress like a pineapple. He's like, how far are you going through my phone? a picture of Lewis dress like a pineapple. He's like, how far are you going through my phone?

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then Casey and Jessica to have some coffee while Nathan kicks a sucker ball around and Lewis cleans the hot tub. So Lewis is like, listen, you and I have two totally different styles. I'm going to be like, hello, I'm your boss, and this is how to do it. And if you don't like that, we'll have to have a talk about it later. Actually, that was Seth doing his Lewis impersonation, because I'm just trying to keep getting them confused. They're not the same kind of right man at all. They're completely different right men. Because we all know that Lewis would never say any of that stuff, Lewis would just say, oh, you're doing something wrong, I'm going to look at it and then maybe tell Captain

Kerry later. Well, I thought it was a talk with Nathan saying, listen, now I'm your boss, I'm going to try to be a little bit more stern with you before I get fired myself. No, no, no. It was just Seth. Seth's saying we're here to get a job done as best we can get it done, so we're here and get it done. And Lewis goes, well, just be delicate. Yeah.

Well, let me ask you one thing. Is a lion on a motorcycle jumping through a firing delicate? Hmm. I don't even understand why delic't Delica see as part of that scenario. But thank you for warning me that something like that could happen. Yeah, take it. So then Casey and Jess, Jess is just complaining about her emotions being shot. And then Orianna's talking, Orianna sees, I don't know, she's like, what are they talking about in face like, probably about me, huh?

And then Orianna, because they're just going to get coffee, they have more of a bond, they're getting coffee, I love their little relationship, by the way, I want to have coffee with them. And Orianna is like, wow, that's kind of ballsy to take your own stew to talk shit about you. She's like, Orianna just trying to just trying to burn the button down as usual. It's like literally every chance she gets to undermine someone or start some kind of a drama or manipulate someone. She's the worst.

I know. So Jessica's just as telling, saying, Faberins out my backside side. I didn't come here to be pissed off I'm doing something I love every day, Theresa Business or not, and I can't enjoy it. Because I'm so irritated. Okay, it's like, yeah, well, sometimes I get jealous of you, just like, like, you could just get to be like the slow chick in the galley. She's like, oh no, that's what it looks like, but you don't understand what I go through at night. Trying to figure out what is this Terezo business in the first place.

Well, someone broke into a Terezo's house and the Terezo confronted the burglar. Then had to go have eyes surgery And his car flipped down the road 10 times the snow in pastina Very very rough. You don't know what I go through it night. So So anyway, they're excited to be catch mates. Odd stress response from her Anyway, they're excited to be catch mates. Odd stress response from her. They're citing our KJ. The most stoic person in the world.

Her stress response is just repeating Erica J. Limes. It's expensive to be me. Hold on just a moment before I rip into yet another baby octopus Wow, you're warming up off key you must really be stressed Oh many a fox to argue So let's say so

They're talking are we honest like well. I hear that there's gonna be another room swap So it sounds great right there to so under my ego and face like is this needed I just didn't think we'd get to the point where she felt she needed to leave me Where whatever if she wants leave on I'm not even Yeah, I am telling you I'm not going nowhere. I'm the best thing you ever had Jess. No way. I wish I'd do all the dream goes lyrics but I go and so I should just continue on. I'm just going to go ahead and cut my losses from the Erica James scene My stress response is not Erica Jane, but just some sort of couple to get a lyrics from One of that is big songs when it first you don't Erica Jane

Jennifer holiday and Jennifer holiday again What I say Jennifer holiday and Jennifer holiday again So Seth is like hey guys time from a lead deck and here want to call a meeting talk I talking hey I have a totally different style. Okay. I'm not an asshole But if I ask you guys to do something I want to don and I don't want anybody battling up me on anything Okay, I've been doing this a lot longer than everybody else on this boat, okay? You'll see, I'm not an asshole, I'm not an asshole or anything. Stupid face, stupid face, another stupid face. I can not nassel. Yeah, but as soon as shit starts not getting done, we're gonna be playing the Chinese finger-trap game.

Got it. Which by the way, he literally said, I had everyone just looks at him like, uh, don't get it. Actually, that's that. Like, okay, everything gets done. We're going to be playing the Chinese finger game, trap game, but with our heads or something. But like, what kind of threat is that? It's a fun game. Actually, what is that just saying that he like you're going to be stuck with him? Because it's like the like tension. I don't know.

You're going to trouble with attention. Hey, let me tell you something. So shit's not getting done. Guess what we're doing? Hop scotch. Okay. And you're doing it all night long. So then Mike is like, not like Mike, not like and the Seth's like,

Oh, God, I love this weather. Let me check my temperature. Oh, the temperature says, winning, yeah, woohoo, I'm winning, yeah. Because you know Seth is a winning person. Winning. Totally. Winning.

So now we see just like clips of people doing stuff, Nathan and Casey are dancing. And so, and they're listening to headphones while they're dancing. So just, just like, what's happening here, dancing Faris? I love a silent disco. They know my music. They know my music. My other stress response.

Just a little bit. So, Seth sees Faye and he's like, what's wrong? So, it just needed a little time for myself and needed a little time to shower before everyone takes out what I'm, I can curl my hair and pick the most powerful lipstick ever known tonight. So he's like, all right, I'm going to go to the hot tub. So he does. And Jess is like, oh, you're going to the hot tub? Wow, you're really a sucker for that hot tub and Casey whispered to her. He's weird.

He's really weird. Look, I always go into the hot tub right now. Yeah, it's going to be a hot tub. He's so weird. He's like going to get in the hot tub right now. Does he even know the hot have like not meant for humans, it's lily for birds. There wanna be one, seabirds. So then we go to Casey and Oriana and Casey's like, hi, I like half to talk to you about capital arrangements. And they're like, hey, I'm coming into bed in 10 minutes.

And I've heard what people talking with lights on. I like the lights off because I need to sleep. So how have that's gonna work? Yeah, and so just like, what's happening? And Casey's like, well, they just said she's going to bed in 10 minutes, she just doesn't want people turning on the lights. And Jess is like, oh, well, fuck sake.

So they do their room swap everything. And it's very quick. And it gets done. And now Casey and Jess are like so so so happy They're like cases like okay, not really good night. Really good night Really Like I feel like I'm gonna sleep so well God me true You know Jess is like a God got a talker.

At least they shut up every once in a while. So now it's the next morning and Lewis is going over the list of things to do. And then Casey gets on the phone with her mom and shows her her new room and Jess props and she's like, hello, mom, how are you? Yeah, she's like, look, it's my new roommate mom. And she's like, oh, mum, how are you? Yeah, she's like, look, it's my new roommate, mum. And she's like, oh, well, congratulations on a new roommate. Yes, I anticipate many wonderful evenings of seethearing with your adult who shall remain silent after certain hours.

I assure you. Well, I've got to go cook now. Goodbye, mum. She's like, honey, don't let that woman hear you if she offers you candy Do not take it mom. I'm telling you do not trust her. She is terrifying Yeah, she is a T. W. F. What's that mean terrifying white female? so

work work work work work work work work work So work work work work work work work work work work. So Faye is eating and Carrie catches her because she's eating chocolate. And he goes, oh, smashing the chokis are we? She's like, Faye loves just checking to see if it was fresh. And he's like, oh, I guess all a bit of chick too. Oh, yeah, chokis, confidious of smash.

Faye really eats those chocolates like she's in a tea commercial, doesn't she? Like, she's like sometimes like a moment for myself, just with some chocolate and some celestial seasonings. Let's me in some luxurious chocolate. It's like, or like just even a dub chocolate commercial. Like I just didn't know people actually ate chocolate like that, but Faye does. She really does.

Like, ooh, chocolate at the outside, the caramel cold on the inside, perfect for a moment of indulgence. I deserve this. Sue, like serious. So then the dequees are eating in the mess and Casey tells Ariana, I swear to God, if that is the mess, it's dirty again.

I just cleaned the mess. So a better knock at dirty. So Casey's like, guys, could you please clean up after yourself, after you eat? And Seth goes, oh yeah, we don't need a babysitter, every goddamn time we're in here, all right? She's like, well, actually you do because I keep finding a mess. No, don't want to hear it again No, don't want to hear it again. I don't want to hear it again.

Don't want to hear it again, okay? And Nathan's like, Seth, she's just saying to clean up after ourselves after we eat and he's like, every fucking time we're in here. Okay. God. And he's like, let's just like nod our heads and say yes, because lead deck hand, more like lead dickhead. So then the guest pickups and the beautiful people, beautiful people.

So Jesse Sam and it's like, oh, they're going to be fans, say. So they come on board, face starts giving a tour, and they have tons of luggage. Luggage, and Mike is like, me no think I brought overweight back anywhere in life. I, Mike, hope, soft thing inside. A work, work, work, work. A departure and fog, departure in five. So start doing the undocking powderstone, batterstone, 10 meters.

And carries like, well, as far as lead Dickie, Sith has set, oh, expectations. I want him to show Lewis and the other guy how we do it. If this departure is any indication, Lewis and Seth will make a great change. So everything seems great. Everything's going well. Faye tells the guests, you know, like, okay, you guys are going to go horseback riding and they'll be lunch afterwards and then they'll also be some snacks and the guests are like, oh, yeah, give us little bites. And so then Faye goes and tells Jess, by the way, lunch is gonna happen after horseback riding,

but I still need snacks to take with me and Jess goes, what snacks? So you know, like little things, like this over here. She was like, fine, bring those out. But I don't want to repeat myself. This is, so Jess brings out crab and crayfish. And she's like, would you like some flatbread type thing as well? I don't know. A rugula, Vans.

And they're like, yeah, it's a rugula, yeah! What, there's one guy who goes, oh my god, yes! Oh girl, yes, a rugula! So, face like, um, cheers, what was that? Cheers, but I offered pizzas. But now, and what about the picnic? No picnic. Picnic's a dumb.

She's like, she's like, I'm not going to fuck around with the snacks. It's a silly idea. She goes, but that's just what we just discussed. Yes, but I flow naturally and I feel like they're angry, so I'm making them pizzas. It's going to be wonderful, so figures. But I thought it's snack now and it's snack when they get off. I mean, it makes me look bad when they get off the horses and there's no food. Okay, well then you can figure that out.

Yes, but we did just figure it out and we made the plan and now you've changed the plan. So just be what we planned. And just because you've got to be more flexible, it's called yachting. A-ba. That's a good thing though. Why can't we not have all of the above? Why can't we not have pizza now snacks after the horse and lunch? I say all the snacks Yes Yes, but it's just so it's just such an odd fight First of all, I get not want I get getting off a horse and maybe not wanting to eat like maybe that's not most the appetite The most appetizing thing to do but But nobody even is bringing that up.

It's just some weird power trip and Jess is barking up the wrong fucking tree. Yeah, and it's a stupid, it's a stupid fight. If I'm getting off a horse, I want to snack right away. I'm telling you that right now. I want to snack. I just do something. I bring the flatbreads as the snack.

Like flatbreads are actually a snack. That's what they are. Literally just bring some chips of hoes. I don't need it to be fancy. Put them on a tray. Well, yeah, we'll see how this works out, but it's my kind of fight. A snack, almost snack, smack down. I think when in doubt, on a yacht, you get the snacks. Yeah. Always. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us today. Go get tickets for Crapin' Slive over at WatchWatCrapins.com. Catch our twice a week video recaps in our bonus episodes.

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