Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Chanandler Wrong

Episode Date: November 21, 2018

Chandler messes up over and over again on Below Deck, but things finally come to a head when he doesn't get his ice cream. Will he get fired before Master Pierson bleeds out? This week's bonus episode is a recap of the Shahs of Sunset Reunion Part One! To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail until Nov at www.CrappensMerch.com. Free Shipping on orders over $45 until Nov 26 with code FREESHIP11d3fb97 You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Yeah, do it. So everybody, hi, welcome to below, Dick Day. Below, Dick Day. You know, we didn't even talk about the fact that last week we had the distinct honor of being with Captain Lee on his birthday and not only was it Captain Lee, but it was also Captain Sandy and Josiah. That's right. Then I saw Kate testing a couple days later. It was a very below deck week. Yeah, that was that was fun. That was our first time. For me, it was my first time ever meeting

Captain Sandy and Josiah. And we had I had met Captain Lee for the first time at our Palm, Captain Sandy and Josiah. And we had, I had met Captain Lee for the first time at our Palm Beach show, but that was so fun. And Captain Sandy's friend, Jan Berman, who I guess is on the doctors, but she was also on Belodeck. She was there too. So it was a big old fun time.

We went to Palm and it was so weird seeing both captains there. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I didn't either, really. So I just ate and drank and laughed and I was married, okay? Yeah, I'm just sorry, I went to sweetheart. Ah, he's lovely and so is his husband. Yeah, Michael.

Yeah, they were lovely. I felt like lovely people. I felt like in a certain way, Josiah and I were kindred spirits. I don't know, I felt like we both were just sort of like sitting on the sides there a little bit, just like watching what was going on be like this is crazy. Yeah, my choice because I kept saying move over because no, let me sit there because then you're going to get my big hat grade back in your face because that always happens. Oh, it's fine. No, no, no, I'm doing it. But I knew you were going to have to go up and smoke and everything. No, I wasn't complaining. We're sitting on the sidelines like we're

in the corner. I'm just saying like like, I felt like we had a similar vibe that we were like more of the like, we sort of like squitle sitting observe, I take everything in a little bit, you know? Yeah, fun night, fun night. But today things aren't so fun because shit is hitting the fan on the low deck, okay? Yeah, below deck, big time.

So we're like, midway through a charter that's already been pretty shitty. It's this, you know, there's this 10 people on the charter, including two little children, and we thought, going into it, oh, God, these people are gonna be behind. Main ins, the kids are gonna be spoiled. These people are generally pretty good, they're fine.

They didn't like their stake. The kids have not really been, the kids have been generally very well behaved. It's the deck crew where all the malfunction is. And that's usual. I've been waiting for this to come to a head with Chandler because it seems like every week it's gonna come to a head with Chandler.

It seems like it's gonna come to a head with Chandler. It's gonna come to a head and then it doesn't. I'm like, what the hell? I know. What about a dude for it to come to a head and then it turns out it's like him getting mad about not getting his ice cream on time I mean I know oh my god so basically last episode um Chandler and his crew brought the guest out to like a little islands that they could swim with sharks and and

raise and everything and then the crew went back to the yacht and didn't leave any of the supplies so the guest were oh, they're doing like smoke signals. So, uh, Captain Lee was, and then when they went back to get the crew, Chandler got lost on the boat. It was like swimming around in circles or or boating around in circles. So it was a, it was a big clusterfuck. And Captain Lee was not happy. And where the episode ended was that Captain Lee invited everyone up into the bridge, invited, brought everyone up into the bridge invited brought everyone up to the bridge and was like all right things ain't changed around here because we got

a season one of them. God damn it! What do you guys do with your backups? Here's about the most fucked up that crew as I've ever seen all right this is beyond embarrassment. How do you go all the way that I love to leave without supplies? This is Roon of Mentor deck 101 and it's on you, stupid.

And then Chandler, of course, instead of just being like, you're right, we were wrong, sorry. He's like, what? What? I'm supposed to tell him to unload supplies. I have to tell him that. And it's like excuses are silly ass reasons

for people not doing their goddamn jobs. Yeah, because captain Lee is like, if I have to solve your problems with your crew, then what do I need you for? To Jackass. What do I need you for Cirque du Soleil tongue? Because Chandler's sitting there like, mm-hmm. Yeah, like he's sucking his tongue in like 20 different ways, because he's so mad. I'm like, you're not hiding it.

You look petalent. Yeah, and like, and on top of that, Chandler's the sort of person that micromanagers the wrong things. I think in general, that's what micromanagers why people don't like them, could they micromanage the shit that doesn't matter? But like, important things that need to be tended to, like, hey, make sure the supplies are left on the boat.

I'm left on the island. That shit, he doesn't. He's like, well, they should know that so it's like you know what you are like Rather than like focusing on like the the cotton ball that Riley dropped on the on the deck Could you like maybe focus on the supplies for once? Yeah, I mean they were a bunch of dumbasses for leaving that they were they were they were they were no let's make let's make no mistake about it But at the same time he should have left somebody there and didn't, you know, et cetera, et cetera.

But also, you know, one of the reasons why they are such dumb asses is because there are sleep schedules all messed up because Chandler's not managing them correctly. They're being pushed in all sorts of different directions. So I think they're kind of like their brains are fried because I don't think all three of them are idiots by any stretch of the imagination. I think they seem to be pretty competent.

I think they're just like frazzled and they're like in a, I think sometimes when you are also being micromanaged, you, there is an element where you kind of shut things off. Like your decision making gets shut off because you just start following orders. And so if there is no explicit order like, and then you have to take this out of the boat and put it on the beach, then you just don't do it, which I'm not letting them off the hook. But again, I'm blaming it all on Chandler, because I like to do that. As it should be. Yeah. So Kate is making drinks with Josiah back on or at the boat or on the boat. and she's tasting the drinks and she's like, look, I can't believe his pissed.

And strong and spicy. I like the glee that she has when she announces that. She's like, hmm, he's pissed. Isn't that great? I want to have a cocktail. A little girl passes. She's like, what's she doing? A little girl.

Hmm? Want a drink of this mark red app? Strong. Spicing, right? Just like, I'll go with her. I like your dress, Batman sister. Unfortunately, you mean nothing to this storyline. Did you say you've got them?

No. I'll see you to your long, lonely life back to your room. Come now. And then meanwhile, Adrian's just slicing tomatoes. He's like I've never had a whole table tell me the food was bad Which is his own struggle that he has to go through with those tomatoes Um, he does that like white boy wrapping hand gesture things like so tonight I'm gonna blow him out of the water. I was like oh No great. I don't I don't like that phrase when you're on a boat

I'm like I actually would like she not like to be blown out the water on a boat I like to stay pretty stable on the water. Yeah, so Lee captain Lee is still just like furious. He's like well I think our boss and is dropping the ball to be quite frank and I'll be quite frank about something else I hate Frank and I choose not to be him if I don't have to be But come on tonight's your rock star party. He's like I gotta eat with them And then the decor is just doing something else that they're fucking up way there whatever and Kate just is like It would be nice if everyone did their job well

I just like they don't yeah, so the deck We have to come behind them pick everything up Which I'm doing for last money probably And Ashton's like we like chickens with a head shop top over here and he goes we really need some we really need some Schedule in here Bosing and Chandler's like oh sorry. It's gonna change every day. Okay. It's a 5 charter guys get used to it Just get used to it, all right? Okay, now time.

See you later. Yeah, like how about you anticipate things, okay? Cause Aesha was like, Newell and Newell was going on, Chandler goes, no one knew what was going on. I'm like, you know, don't repeat that. You have to, that's not for you to be like, yeah, no one knew what was going, you're supposed to say,

I know, I'm working on that. We're gonna improve our lines of communication. Yeah, I'm probably like, yeah, no one knew what was going. You're supposed to say, I know I'm working on that. We're going to improve our lines of communication. Yeah. I'm probably like, um, I appreciate you saying something to Chandler because I am a crap ton of the vote in Alaska. And if this were my vote, he would definitely be fired. Definitely be fired. Meanwhile, uh, Caroline goes into the galley where Idrian is doing just like chopping something. She's like, Hi! He just does not answer. He says, I'm done.

I'm so weird to that bag of radishes that hello to me. I'm trying to be professional, but when a dust mop comes in here, I try to say, I work 20 hours a day. I can't take that load. Meanwhile Kate does something a little surprising to me. She abandons her normal, you know, I think of the evening, I believe that's when she does pebbles, but maybe it's seashells. Either way, she puts out giant stars from marshs, like light up stars, little bulbs in them. I was like, wow, Kate is going the extra mile to compensate for this deck crew because

I have never seen those giant stars before. It's like C-glass. What was it? It's like frosty C-glass. It's like broken glass. It's like rock stars. Huh. Huh.

I put the, I'm putting the broken glass on the table because surely we will not have any other future incidents with broken glass later on this charter. Yeah, surely this isn't a sign of things to come. Surely no, whatever, just leave broken glass on the floor, but on the table it should be fine. So the captain has to eat dinner. So the chef, yeah, the captain has to go out there. He's like, ah, hey, hi master Pearson look at this ring If you're ever in a desperate scary place

Squeeze it and a symbol will come up in the sky and your car will comply to get you. He's like thank you, sir Squeez it. It'll go on squeeze it. It'll go off squeeze it one more time and You're lucky. That's not a Carolina ring you just squeeze it in a cries then you squeeze it in a cries more then you squeeze it in a tries to see for harassment so enjoy that then you squeeze it you have to send it to a nice beautiful bedroom downstairs then it complains and then it's like so now it's like rock star they're all dressed like rock stars like rock star dinner rock star dinner rockstar

rock rock you'll be having a duo of stuff mushrooms okay enjoy rockstar rockstar so the chefs like are they happy down there she is so happy and it goes um you're just saying that right she's I'm not just saying that I'm just really busy anyway I got to serve this turmeric and sesame zucchini rock star. I feel like Albert actually looked like he was once a contestant on rock star in excess. Doesn't he sort of look like that? Like 15 years ago he was on a failed reality show about being a rocker. Like he was trying to be in an excess, you know? Do you remember that show? Yes, I do. I didn't watch it, but I don't think I think he's

too like nice to be the rocker because they'll be like, you know what? I'm too nice to be a rocker on this show, but my wife's really going to come out here and nail you when. Yeah, they probably do like, they probably go to Vegas and there's probably some like American Idol jackpot machine that they go or slot machine I guess is called in America world. So anyway, I'm not even going to follow that theoretical scenario. I think I'm just going to just they play American Idol slots. That's what I'm saying. They play American Idol slots. Okay. I'm putting it

out right now. That's their version of being rock stars. Oh, we played the American Idol Slots. I got Clay Aiken and I won $35. Oh, God. It's like, oh, it's like coins pour out of it. You just hear terrible versions of Leishikis. So let's see. The guests are all really impressed with dinner. They're like, oh my God, this is so much better than last night.

Everybody stepped it up. And I was like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, warning. I know, I know, foreshadowing, step it up. So now they're all cleaning up for the night. People are going, being sent to bed and things like that. And there's just like, there's one second moment where we hear Kate say to dress high as she goes, right, Carolina, no. And

like, even though I know the note is supposed to say, like, this is what I cleaned up tonight, and this is what's left in the morning, I kind of feel like it was a note like, dear, Caroline, you're pathetic. Wouldn't stupid, incident person you are while you on this boat. Please clean up the spoons. Thank you, Kate and Josiah. Dear Caroline, I'm sorry for writing on your forehead right now, but you'll never see it with you. Ha ha ha. Dear Caroline, you will never be emotionally fulfilled. Know that.

And then we don't, we didn't mention the little girl's joke. It was the best part of the show, man. Oh, sorry. She said, Captain, how do you make a Kleenex dance? She's like, oh, goddamit. If this were this great, they'd never do it right. They'd probably do it incorrectly. The Kleenex would fall out falling to goddam motion,

just to celebrate, and let her. And she's like, no, you put a buggy in it. He's like, ha, ha, goddamit. I've done with this brat. All right, I'm going to bed. Call me when Bratman wakes up. So Josiah then facetimes his niece. He's like, hello, Primrose.

There's someone off on this boat. I can't wait for you to meet her. They'll destroy her. Good night. Primrose, what is the weather doing? I guarantee you $100 it's more than Caroline. Primrose, how do you make a tissue your dance? I know it's so stupid So then Chandler in the morning he's like I really dread being on deck But when they worked for my dad it was just calm collected. It's a style. I like to reflect him like really did your dad map 18 out of 24 hours

Yeah, get up. Are you going? Like really? Did your dad map 18 out of 24 hours? Yeah. Get him. Are you going? Are you going to put on your, I'm really glad that he likes his dad style. Are you going to put on your resume? Nepotism is your strength. Because that's what that is. That's what that's called. When you're working for your dad and everything's like,

comic collected and easy. It's called nepotism. Yeah, you lose. Yeah. So, um, so Lee brings Chandler up to the wheelhouse and he's like, anyway, we're going to go over here and they're going to put them. We're going to roast the pig over there and there's coral over here. And there's a starfish over there and be careful.

No tend to waste go. Ran ding ding ding. It's a parallel. That's just that's just kept in Leon's own. He's just doing. Ran ding ding ding Leon is on his own. He's just doing ranting thing. Ranting thing. He's like, you know, dance. Yeah, he's like, so good to play the ranting, dinging song again. Now listen to your channel. We're taking a pig out there, right? It's better go smoothly. Better not be a fuck up. Tell him it's like, so then

I feel like I collected Caroline putting the breakfast together and she's like Can I bring you guys anything please don't ask me to bring you anything please They're like okay, here's what we'll have a bloody Mary then a guava and views something rather and orange juice and she's like She's like a G-gettle Guys I have to squeeze some because I don't have any okay, I have to squeeze some, cause I don't have any, okay? I have to squeeze some, and they're like, how about the food first? Before you get lost in the alcohol again, Caroline. She's like, thanks guys.

Well, yeah. I mean, this is like the fourth charter, even Casey was figuring out these things by now. She's like, oh my God, so many things aren't shoes. Oh, Jay, what is the J-Sian for? Oh, Jay, oh, oh my god so many things orange shoes. Oh Jay what is the JCN for for oh Jay? Oh, oh Choose so orange and juice. Oh my god. I just forget. I've got a juice your uncle. Oh no, and then there's Not guilty. Okay, I've done your own Jay. Oh you idiot. So the ladies are complaining and one of them's like She's in very distraught and then the other one goes yeah Did she seem frazzled by orange juice? She's just running back and forth and doesn't know anything

And Carol and it's like ten people is a lot to take Oh my god if someone asked me one more stupid question, I don't know what I'm gonna do mom Which way are we going this way or that way? She's like I'm gonna do mom, which way are we going this way or that way? She's like I don't know which way I'm going and then she then she's like you're asking the wrong person She goes back inside and the lady is like she never knows an answer And then she's like brings out a bad bloody Mary. I mean who knows what was in that thing? It was probably all like debasco sauce with like a shot of rum. Yeah, and the ladies are like, uh, this is terrible, okay?

It's like tomato juice and vodka and Carol one's like, okay, that makes it better. Now what do you have? Nomenia? Come on. So now Kate is like getting out of her room. She's like, she can hear all this stuff happening on the radios or whatever. And she's like, huh, if she can't handle a coffee in croissant platters, we've got a big problem. I guess we have a big problem. Just see Caroline like under a pile of croissants. So then like Caroline is like there. She's she's she's just like like just like frozen and like a rotating totem ball or something like that. And Kate just enters

It's like, all right, I'm here to say the day who ordered some orange juice here. I can pour it. She's like, hey, can you make bloody marries? And she's like Yes, she goes and she's like, yes, she goes to the course. She's like, sure, thanks, Karen. These are called bloody Caroline, okay? It's just a glass of stupid, okay? Are you asking me if I can make one of the easiest drinks in all of cocktailing where I just add vodka to a mix?

Yes, I can do that. So Caroline and Cater at the bar and Caroline's like, hello. So Caroline and Cater at the bar and Caroline's like, hello! Hi, what'd you put in the bloody marries? Well, I took some ZD sauce and then I added some green tea and then I added some sugar syrup. It was supposed to be delicious! Caroline's foetus healed, pattings is, she's still Caroline. That's my sitcom still Caroline.

So Chandler is telling us, oh, the fact that Ross and Ashton feel like chicks, or chicks with their head, oh chickens with their heads heads cut off that lights a fire into my ass That's not good. I want to be liked but I also want to be effective I'm like that's so sad that you're feeling it both like it would be nice I would wait for you even if you were doing well at one of those things, you know, yeah Yeah, yeah exactly so He is trying to be super on top of everything, but he's like not at all because now now he's like, so eager to be on top of getting stuff to this beach that he's doing it way too early. So he's like, we're going to be doing a first trip.

So Adrian, are you going to be coming to the beach now? And he's like, it's like 1 p.m. You know, whatever the agent is like, I'm going to be preparing here in the kitchen. I mean, it's like it's still, it's like breakfast. Everyone's like, why is he trying to go to the beach, you know, and then Captain Leah's line? Um, why don't we, well, actually, but that's, that's giving you a head,

but Adrian's just like, what's going on? And meanwhile, Kid and Josiah are in the corner, they're just all talking about Caroline, it's like their favorite pastime. And talking about how she's like a total mess. And in case like, I mean, it wasn't even a full breakfast. She's so sad. It's just like watching a giant tomato lose its mind.

And he says, yes, even the laundry, people stuff is getting lost. And he tells us, she's like my Aunt May when she had menopause. Just chill out. Like, he's for at May. I know, I know, I know, I know we see like some chapstick in the washing machine. Like, what's, like we're forks and knives,

basically last night's like dinner service. She's like, isn't this a dishwasher? No, I've been doing the sheets upstairs in the kitchen and the silverware here in the laundry room. Then outside on the deck, Master Batman is like, Hi Caroline! And they're like, no, that's dolphins, sweetie. I thought she was moving fast.

And then Kate, we get our Kate on the phone segment of the show today. She says, yes. Hello. It's me. Kate's essaying. I need to arrange some live local music and some dancers and musicians. Thanks. And a third student. Great also. Could you have a third student out there? You know, I think we did. There was a miscommunication last time I asked for a third student. I got student tomatoes. I actually just want a third student to wear this. Thank you.

Please bring the hula dancer back. Please. Yeah. Yeah. So Riley, everybody's getting ready, Riley and Chandler. And she's like, OK, Chandler, I've got Its and the Coolers. And he's like, we need Its and the Coolers. She's like, yeah, I know. OK, I did it. So also I put Corona. And he's like, we need Marcarona.

Yeah. Oh. And even Adrian up in the kitchen is listening to this. Because Chandler's you know Radio-wing to everyone about who knows what even Adrian's like oh my god like get it together I'm chill, but I've had to tell off Caroline. I've got to tell off Adrian. I mean Chandler You know he's getting better. I like it. The chef is getting bitty. You know no chef Can have a full season of just being totally nice

And I like that's why I say reality shows don't need to script shit like you can put a nice person in a reality show Just let the cameras roll long enough. It'll come out, you know, just throw a Caroline in the water Yeah, so captain so now so Chandler setting up this is what I was talking about before that Chandler's you know He's still he's setting up this first chart to go, I'm not chart of the tender to go over to the beach. And Captain Lee's like, um, yeah, like, he's considering it's only like 80m, you dipshit. When she set up the toys first, they have something to do.

So it's just like another example of Chandler just like messing up and not prioritizing what he's supposed to be doing on deck. This stuff's like I didn't see that one coming. Okay it's like hi did. So let's see then Josiah. He's like why are they doing things? What order are we doing? I mean she's like they're taking things but first the hierarchy of importance. Safety, chart against Captain Crue. And then they start doing a little dance Yeah, safety chart against captain crew Chattano's were like ice cream ice cream

map map He's like the hierarchy NAP ice cream NAP NAP talk down to Riley ice cream So Riley and Chandler again, she's like, um, I'm gonna check for some towels. And he's like, great, check for some towels. She's like, that's what I'm doing.

And he's like, uh, did you check the dryer? She was, um, yes, I'm going to check everywhere. I was like, check the dryer. I am checking the dryer. Check the dryer for towels. Okay. That's what I said. Tows.

I'm sick. He needs to take it down a notch. Okay. It's nothing but a struggle for the Grout. He is fired if this were Alaska. He would be fired. Yeah, yeah, I mean, he's just so obnoxious. And then meanwhile, there's up the pig.

And Adrian is getting ready to cook. He's prepared that the pig, that's gonna be on the spit, et cetera. And kids like, so messed up that I was eating three pieces of bacon while that was out there. But you know, I guess we all have to deal with it, right Caroline? It's even more scary that the chef is afraid to touch the pig. He's like, you know, I don't want to touch it. It's also scary that the yachts ovens are large enough to fit a whole pig.

It's also scary that the yachts ovens are large enough to fit a whole big. It's odd. Okay Caroline, Caroline, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, I'm done. Okay, great, you're done. Could you do the laundry again? I'm sick. Oh, I'm sick. Okay, it's like, um, if you're gonna at sneaker cigarette, you sneak it. Uh, there's nothing very sneaky about a bottle of ketchup asking me to take a smoke. So then Chandler again, he's like, Riley, Riley check for towels on the deck. And he's like, I did. He's like, Hey, Riley, I don't want to find any more drop towels on the deck. You have to use your eyes. She's like, okay, she's like, I didn't,

just what does this say? What does this say? Because apparently the drop towel, I don't know what a drop towel even is, but they wrote drop on them. And so, I was like, I can read Chandler. Well, what does it say? Do you know what this letter is?

This is a D and this is an R. Stop it. This isn't O and this is a P. She's like, Stop speaking out of something leads to me. Hey, I don't want to hear any back talk. Everyone needs to be accountable and Riley goes, You know what, let's clear this up. You'll stop yelling. You need to stop yelling at me.

It's like she wasn't yelling. She said she was angry. She was talking back to you, but she wasn't yelling. It was like classic workplace Guess lighting. Yeah, she's like if you if you keep talking to me like this I'm taking it to fucking captain and he's like, oh, well go to the captain don't tell me about it Just do it. Yeah, now he was like shaming her for being for being lazy in terms of reporting him to the captain Speak to me with some respect. Oh, yeah, but I get I get some shit where's your accountability where's your accountability with the towels

tablar okay you two like I actually have a CPA back in Boston said don't come in not accounting accountability can you read I don't think so. Hmm. So then Chandler's like, um, Captain Ashton and Riley will stay aboard. He's like, ah, let's see how this one goes. Yeah, dumb shit. It's the, oh my god, they're ready to murder Chandler. They all, everyone on this boat hates Chandler at this point. Everyone. It's time for commercial.

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder e app. So now is the drama of the great the tender tender drama tender drama tender drama and Ross is like do you think what the phone here and actions like it'll be fun just get on the boat and I was like uh oh

that is not the opening to a porn scene I'm going to expect more from you too yeah exactly it should be like wow you really need a lot of control that boats wow so I think you get me in gear like you get that but let's get it in gear that should be like, wow, you really need on how to control that boat. Wow. It's a bit dangerous. Obviously you get mean gear like you get that button.

Let's get it in gear. All right, bring up the rear. Bring up the rear. Hey, how deep do you think this reef goes? Do you want to experiment? That revert, but only at first. So dangerous here. Skate, I could just nozzle in your arms

and feel secure for the rest of my life So Ross tells us it's a bit dangerous the riffishala went down tall and then on the beach Shanners like life jackets. Oh, we're doing a huge beach set up. There's gonna be a pig A little out there can be no mistakes Didn't anybody bring my hog and dies. All right No mistakes for instance didn't anybody bring my Hagen Dazs? All right, where's the... No mistakes, for instance, I have this Hagen Dazs right here, but no scoop here, what am I supposed to do?

Just eat it with a stick, because guess what? It's frozen and means the thong, you don't have the time. Thanks, Chandler. So the issue is, because there's so much reef, it's dangerous for the rescue tender to go to shore after it gets dark because they might crash into a wreath so they are now

on a short schedule which is that the the guests have to get off the boat at five they're gonna get to shore they're gonna eat and by six o'clock they got us out coming back otherwise they could sink and die in the water. Yeah too many rates too many race. So this is kind of weird because Ross tells him like, we can't get through these reefs. And the captain's like, all right, we're going to do it. We're going to figure it out. I was like, oh, this isn't going to work out very well. Yeah. No, of course not because Chandler's doing it. So first they, so now they're taking over like the crew,

you know, so, so they take Kate over and Kate and Josiah start setting up this beach picnic and I just laugh because Kate has to like start up like a fire pit or whatever and she just has the light of fluid and she just like squirts it onto the fire and the flames are WSH and she just like HMM I wish I could be excited by giant fireballs, but I'm just so jaded by idiots like Caroline. And then they cut to Caroline. Everyone's working really hard. Then they cut to Caroline, like struggling to get a towel off the floor.

She's like folding something and she dropped something on the floor and she's like, Oh, so I think so finally by the time the boat comes back to the yacht to get the guests it's 5.13 so they're already 13 minutes behind and every minute really counts. So they're taking excuse me I'm having burps. How did you have it? I'm sorry. I'm just choked up. It's so exciting.

So Captain Lee is already upset that they're behind time behind the timetable. And then they're motoring the boats through and Chen is like, um, this may take a while because there's a lot of reef and I'm worried about the boat, whatever. And Captain Lee's like, well, one thing you could do if you were in it is just raise up the engines or the props are just barely hitting the water level. I shouldn't have to be telling this fucking idiot about this. Ross is like, can we take more gas? And they're like, no, not more. And then just like, as look master, doesn't it look like Jurassic Park?

It's a movie about an island that's usually soon inherent. Stupid people get their heads eaten off. Sorry, Caroline. Not so clever girl is what we call her. Under no circumstances are those bones out to me out after dark safety first. And Ross is like, I can't agree more. Cotton is like, alright, get your butt out of the crack over there. And then they get to the dock and Chandler is helping what's some lady and she falls on the deck. Yeah. Well, because what happens is, and this is hilarious where they edit it because Captain

Lee says, you know what? They're just, I'm going to pull them back. Even if they're having a good time, because I'd rather live with that than hurting somebody and they just cut to Chandler hurting somebody. He carries this woman from the rescue vessel to the beach. Instead of putting down on the sand like a normal person, he puts her down on this slippery piece of rock that everyone's been, all the crew's been slipping and sliding on.

And the first thing that happens is that she falls right on her elbow. I mean, it, it looked like it hurt. Yeah, and this is not the lady to drop either, because she's not ever gonna drop it, you know? Yeah, and on top of that, he drops her and then what his reaction is, is like, oh, you need a second. What? Who does that? Yeah, how about I need a free day on charter before I see your ass, sir? You need a second. It's how about you, you like help her up and you say, oh my god, I'm'm so sorry are you okay? Not to be a second. I'm asking says not only is he dropping the bowl. He's dropping the guests

Good one ashton Josiah's like master Pearson Are you familiar with chaos theory or is I like to call it Caroline theory? You're witnessing it So the Riley the Riley and the captain are on the boat. And she goes, so captain, it looks like they're having fun. And he goes, I have no got to, I have no goddamn idea. Oh, no way.

What did he say? Yeah, he something like that. It was really funny to me. And I wrote it down wrong probably because I was laughing. There was something like that. So anyway, it's then, Captain Lee comes up with a new idea, which is that the guests are going to stay there, hang out, and they'll call Van, the Van's going to transport the guests from the beach to the other beach to the docks and whatever. It'll be all fixed, everything's going to be fine. So the crew is going to come back, the guests are gonna stay, except with Kate, et cetera. So that's all fixed.

But in the meantime, the lady who fell over, I mean, she's this sort of person to be a little bit of a victim anyway, but in this case, she really is one because she got dropped on cement on a luxury charter. And she's like, I mean, he didn't even apologize to me. And I'm like, it's kind of funny that she wants an apology, but maybe I would too, like his own the reaction was do you need a second like if that like really bothered me?

Yeah, he's kind of find a way to blame that on like Riley or slightly Maybe if Riley had gone ahead and dried off that stone. We wouldn't be in this issue So in cake goes I don't know if you've noticed, but the boat left. Do we live here now? So they've left them to do all the work. And Chandler is already yelling it Riley back at the boat. He's like, Riley's spin bags that are stopping wet and need to dry out here. She's like, I didn't know we were doing that. I feel like that's common sense because maybe I don't have any That's not the argument. No, yeah, I'm a good. Okay, it's like Kate to my Sienna Kate to my Sienna Are you guys gonna be sending a taxi or do Jozy and I have to fashion one out of coconuts and pomfrons?

Okay, do we have to do everything? Do we have to create the local transportation to heady? Because we can do it We just don't want to I'll kick a hulu dancer if I have to. Yeah. Meanwhile, Chandler's just in his room sipping coffee, just dancing a little bit. Well, Kate and Josiah are packing up everything, waiting for their taxi that I'm assuming Chandler was supposed to call for them.

Yeah. And then Riley's complaining to Ross and Ross. It's like, you know what, oh, yeah, buddy. Listen, Ruleson sent it Riley down because she's on night. Because, you know what, do with her what you want. I'm done. I am done. Yeah, like great. You're supposed to be the leader actually. So you're not done. So you guys to take a break. So Captain Lee's like, I write Caroline, you seem unphrasaled for one second. Must be a full moon. So while we have this moment of lack of frazzle or is I like to call it L.O.F. Could you make some cocktails for this group? Because I'm sure they've had a terrible time because Chandler was in control. So just

make some very simple drinks for them. So she goes downstairs to pour Prosecco into glasses and she's googling. Did you notice that? I was like, what are you googling? It's glasses are prosecco, just pour them. She's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, trying to look something up on her phone. I know. And then the, so the guests are coming back on their little rescue boat.

And Captain Lee says, well, sorry about this whole wriggum of roll with the taxes and stuff, but it was all in the interest of safety, safety number one. And we just cut you the glass breaking. but it was all in the interest of safety, safety number one. We just cut you the glass breaking. Like the editors are like so on top of this shit. The interest of safety, cut to broken glass and Caroline would be like, oh my God, and they can't win.

The mom goes, we had a blast and the lady goes, I got dropped and he said, huh, that means you were carried and not put down successfully. She's like, this is the second day of me not doing very well. And then Caroline tries to radio the captain, but for once the captain doesn't have his buds in or whatever. And she's like, Captain Captain is just broken glass. I need a moment.

I'm Googling it. I'm Googling it. But no one hears it. So then poor master pierce and it's like there's broken glass everywhere and I'm bleeding. I I'm bleeding. She's like, I'm walking on walking on broken glass. And the car line's like, I wouldn't say that for my audition, but my wife's the real rock star here. Go ahead, honey. Anyway, actually, she's like watching at home, smoking a cigarette, drinking some brandy.

And you're like, I know this all too well. Inspiration. This is what we've come to. This is, like finally, the origin story of my hit song, but this revealed 20 years later, classic Annie. So the mom's like, it's okay, Master Pearson, it's just a battle wound. The captain's like, how the hell does that even happen? That is the ultimate cluster, fuck.

Yeah, meanwhile, Ken Josiah are still on Gilligan's Island. And they're like, where are the deck hands? I guess we'll do everything ourselves. She's like collapsing chairs, making campfires, and we have the master's mandatory life jackets, which means a tsunami will probably come and he'll drown the death. So thanks a lot. That crew. I'll look at pickup truck. I guess we'll get in this. And who knows where it's going to take us, but I'm sure wherever we wind up, we'll just have to find our way back because we have no support from anyone. See you in Maria. So then Caroline, they're like just fake to Caroline. So she's up there trying to clean up

But I guess she sees blood so she starts bar she starts like starting to barf She's like I'm sick there Albert meanwhiles at the bar at this point Albert's at the bar. He's making his own cocktails He's the one who is like tending to hit this lady's Wounds which I'm like by the way is now been a few hours. How was it that only now they're dealing with her arm? And she's like why aren't they doing this for me? And you know what she's right. Why aren't they doing it for her? I don't know because they're busy trying to not, you know, let Caroline murder people on accident. Yeah, exactly. And Kate, of course.

Kate is entering what I like to call the Benzone. She's like, I'm starving, I'm exhausted, and I'm angry. I'm like, mm-hmm, I'm like that every single day at a certain point. Oh, and she's, uh, Caroline comes at and the lady's like, um, remember I asked you for a Prosecco because you can't do mixed drinks. Oh, hi, Kate. Yeah, Kate just, Kate and Josiah, like, burst into like this area with the guest. They just know she has gone, they don't even, I don't even know what's happened yet. They just know that there's a disaster and Caroline, they can't leave Caroline alone. So they just rush in and like, chat, I mean, Joe's I already has like bandages.

You know, he's like, I don't know why I need bandages, but I just have him right now. I'm gonna apply them to someone. I've also got machine guns coming out of the hood of a car if anybody needs them. They're like, oh, thanks. And Chandler's downstairs in the crew mess, just sitting at the table, just staring into space.

Yeah, as usual. I like when the lady goes, I'm injured. Chandler dropped me on this, on my slimy rock. He didn't even say I'm sorry It's like the second Kate walks back on you know Yeah, I'm well cuz like they everyone recognizes that Kate is basically holding this trip together So they're all complaining to her like It really is like that So there's Kate goes, well, I'm so glad the guests are at least 90% happy

and the chef goes 80. Carol, I got, yeah, I dropped the glass. I did it, I dropped the glass. And Kate goes, flesh rounds are not five star. Yeah, it's such an amazing line. I can't talk about it right now. So now the guests are like,

Chandler, could you try, could you like try to help this lady's arm injuries? And he's like, I mean, I guess I was kind of gonna go get the ice cream, but I suppose I could do this. And the captain is, I mean, a K is completely over it. So she sees the captain, she's like, this is chaos, okay? There are drinks to be made, guests are leaving. I thought it was a mind-person crew, but for some reason I'm carrying back sunblock in the dark. And he's like, I'll take care of that one.

Well, something needs to happen. He goes, all right, Kate, you got the bet crew till you're done. And so he writes us that there are Kate's bitches or whatever. And she goes, Chandler, do the dishes now. They get me. Chandler. Do the dishes now. They get me. Yes. It's what I need right now. And he's like, um, I'll take a please. Well, actually now she actually said, because it's verbatim. She said, I would like you to go down to the galley and grab a knife.

Please, that's why I need right now. And when he, so when he said, I'll take a please, he's honestly full of shit because she literally said please. And that's just like his gut reaction. I don't know if it's his gut reaction towards women or just to just to authority. But it was such a like a obnoxious like non-team player thing. It wasn't like, okay, I got it,

whatever I can do to help. It was like, I'll take a please, it was such just like an annoying display of like arrogance or I'm sorry, he's horrible. He's a horrible human being, okay. He's a terrible terrible human being and those Second somebody talks even slightly with an attitude to him. He freaks out and you notice like that's the sort of shit that he gets on Riley for saying, do you notice that that's like if Riley said that he gets on Riley for saying. Did you notice that? That's like if Riley said that I'll take a please. He'd be like, you know what?

Like that's not the attitude I want. Also, did you notice that right before this when he was Tending to the guest the lady's wounds. She was like, I mean You didn't even apologize to me and he goes it was a hectic morning for me, but that's no excuse I'm like, how do I just say? Oh say I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry. I like I felt terrible Like is it that hard? Why you saying it was a hectic morning for you? Guess what? It was five fucking 25 p.m. Yeah, get him an app So then upstairs the lady one of the ladies goes Josiah, what kind of gel do you use, Niggas? It's hair wax.

And they go, Oh, hair wax. Hair wax. It's like this day needs to end, okay? Everybody needs to go to bed. And then the session downstairs, folding napkins. He's like, well, these napkins are awfully wrinkly. I can't believe I'm folding wrinkly napkins in care.

I was like, what? Too womanly for you? Too womanly? Are you also bad at science and driving? So deranged right now. I think it was like her tempered humor, but it was just like, it was so funny. That's the thing with her. She's not just like an evil villain, you know, like she's no seems like nice Is that she seems very nice is just like this is not this is not this is not where she should be and it's it's becoming a crazy person as a result Like when she said last week about this chef. She's like that dude is fake news So Kate's like Chandler can you bring some bags up from the beach club? And he's like, ah, like he's just like, he's just like, you can not even deal with this. That beat, I can't, I can't, I can't even articulate it.

I cannot articulate it, but we all know it. We all know what I'm trying to articulate, right? We all know it. He's a dick. He's a sassal. I mean, like, what more do you need to say? So Kate is now like in her element, you know, because she's, she's a sasshole. I mean like what more do you need to say you know so Kate is Kate is now like in her element You know because she's she's good at this shit

So she's like giving everyone jobs giving everyone tasks. She's doing shit. They're all everything's working well She's like, okay, you can knock off you can knock off. Okay, you're awake. I'm really okay. You go to sleep Okay, I need you to do this and you do this and the middle of all this while it's like a symphony of delegation But not in a noxious delegation. All of a sudden Chandler, they're like doing dishes, they're cleaning up shit, Chandler shows up with a bowl. And he says, like, what's that bowl for? He's like, oh, I'm gonna have some ice cream.

I mean, I was like, what? I can't even believe, I was like, I can't even believe this dick who's like, uh, please, please. And then he wants, and he's getting ready to serve himself some ice cream. While this, everyone else is working like at like level 12. She's like, you're still working. And he's like, um, you're not my boss. Okay. I'm getting things done. And I'll eat my ice cream as I wish. She's just, um, ice cream's not how just ice cream's not help. It's not happening, Betty. It's not happening. It's like, oh!

Because she's like, actually, you're still working. I need you, what you need to do is actually find something to do with this pig. She's like, should I just throw it out? She's like, no, let's get to find some tougher warriors. Like, so she takes his ice cream and puts it back in the freezer. And he's like, why are you doing that?

Why are you putting the ice cream back in the freezer? You know, it's frozen. It's frozen. I was letting it fall out. he's like, why are you doing that? Why are you putting the ice cream back in the freezer? You know, it's frozen. It's frozen. I was letting it thaw out. She's like, you're still working. I was like, what was funny about that is about the thaw was basically the quiet assumption that by the time it's done thong out

in about three to five minutes, he's gonna be done with whatever work needs to be done. You know, I'm even tried the all. Just ask Riley to do it. She's still up. That's the first. Yeah. And she's like, I'm even tried the all just ask Riley to do it. She's still up. Yeah. And she's like, I know you're very good at delegation. And she's like, I think you need to be more worried

about your work than the ice cream. So I'm sorry. I just like, you know, you're a big boy. You'll get your. Yeah. I see literally, he goes, she can finish. And she goes, no. And he said, I'm a big boy.

And she goes, yes, you're a big boy. And she goes yes, you're a big boy and you can have your ice cream. It starts like laughing at him. I'm like are you? I'm like first of all you're tangling with Kate. You like you don't understand like you have managed to avoid her wrath for four charters now like are you seriously gonna tangle with her? And second of all you're just gonna lob up a softball of like trying to eat ice cream while she's trying to get this charter back in order. You're literally going to try to stop everything so you can have ice cream and say you're a big boy.

Like how big of an idiot do you have to be? Oh, he gets to be a bigger idiot because he's like, this is the second time you've disrespected me today. And she laughs again, she gets, you're wrong. It's not just the second. It's not just the second time you've disrespected me the day. And she laughs again, she gets, you're wrong. It's not just the second. It's not just the second. Which is just so amazing.

She takes pride in that. And then she's like, I mean, she's a glorified housekeeper. She's the one saving the tips for you every single charter, by the way. Yeah, you're a glorified fucking janitor. Janitor, so yeah, exactly. Yeah. So she's like, um, Chandler, if you can't understand why the captain is having me put you to bed tonight, I can't explain it to you. Okay. And then they just treat us to a Chandler fuck up montage,

which I just love. I blow deck montages are great because they have so much footage of everyone fucking up at any given moment. So the someone becomes critical they like okay let's fire off uh... montage number three a please it's like when celebrities get really old in the newscasters are just waiting for them to die so they already have a montage prepared like five years before exactly the bob

rollo i'd then like after the montages, they just cut to Chandler. He finally has his ice cream, and he's jamming his spoon into it, and he can't cut his frozen again. And he's so mad. He's like, I knew I should have thought this glorified house keep eroding everything.

And the captain, dun dun dun dun dun. He's like, we still got half a season to go. How much do you want about this person's gonna make a turnaround? Time to do something. Yeah, so in the morning Kate's like the primaries are out the primaries are up and Just says I have no clean clothes and Cates like me neither. Let's just face to the sides. They don't see the dirt and Caroline says what about me? She goes You look like you haven't done any work at all.

And considering how many times Caroline has been sent down to do laundry, it's shocking that they don't have clean clothes. I guess that's the point. They're probably like folded his napkins up at the breakfast table. I know it's like, cap and leaves underwears like up there. Because that underwear feels like it just keeps showing up on other people's rooms. So now it's sort of like a little bit of like a race to the finish for this charter.

You know, we see the meat breakfast. There's some docking. Chandler, throw your wine. The guests leave. There's like a speech about, well, there were some faults, but here's a da da da da da. So there's cleaning and now it's the tip meeting. And Captain Lee is furious. Oh, there were some faults, but here's the, so there's cleaning and now it's the tip meeting.

And Captain Lee is furious. Mm. She cates like, man, it's a bad day to be a tech hand. Yeah. So he's like, yes, Charter was horrendous. It was horrendous and the tip is $20,000. And he feels like, it's good. But if you think about it, it's a four-day charter.

And so they normally, like, 20K is good on a two-day charter, but this is actually a two-to-three-day charter, but he basically feels like it should have been 25K. He's like, we have, we can get more, but guess what, guys? Tomorrow's another day. Another day with one less crew member. Who is it going to be, guys? Yeah. So now they get back to cleaning and Captain Lee calls Kate up to the wheelhouse and she's like, I don't think I did anything wrong unless maybe I

blacked out during some tribal experience that happened when I was marooned on that beach because the ineptitude of the decans perhaps that happened I don't know. I need you to be a witness. And she's like, not good. Not good. I'm not capable of you. Generally, generally, generally, wheelhouse now.

And he's like, oh, God. Have a seat. I think the time has come for you and I to have this chat, which I've been putting off. He just starts doing that like gumball sucking thing that he does. He's like I'm banning all ice cream from the cat It's hogging nights for you buddy. Oh My god

Bring us to the end of a little bow oh dick day It was such a good episode. I just I was just so and I could not believe the amount of a little below dick day. It was such a good episode. I just, I was just so in, for I could not believe the amount of fuck up re, and again, like dropping the lady, the broken glass, and then the ice cream, it was almost like I just couldn't even, the ice cream moment was just, it was the thing that I was like, I can't believe what I'm watching.

This was, it was so hilariously ridiculous. And it's on one of the charters that seems like it would be one of the nicer charters, right? Like, people wanted to be nice and have a good time. They weren't coming in just to be dicks this time. Yeah, the children were lovely. Yeah. adorable. I mean, it was like, these people were not demanding. So good.

But it happens every season. There's always just a full breakdown. I mean, it was like, these people were not demanding. It was just so good. But it happens every season. There's always just a full breakdown. It's super impressive. You guys, you little Benjamunis. All right, everybody, well that brings us to the end. Happy Turkey Day, you guys. Happy Turkey Day.

We're very thankful for you, Sucka. Thanks for everything you do for us. We'd look forward to another wonderful gift, thank you. Absolutely. Bye everyone. Bye everybody. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

You can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.