Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Don't Lee Me This Way

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

Captain Lee emotionally departs the yacht on Below Deck, and you'll never guess who's there to replace him. Plus, Camille continues to be terrible.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is

What happens Crab Kids, what happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappins. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Mr. Ronnie Karam Hi Ronnie. Or you. Well Caram Hi Ronnie. Or you.

Well hello, Benini. Hi. How's it going today? Good. Love a little below deck action. Super happy to be here. Almost Christmas break time. Very exciting. You know, we didn't cover a below deck last week,

so I'm excited to be here to talk about it this week. I know, this is a momentous episode. This is the episode where Captain Lee steps down from the boat. It's like a big deal. Uh, you know, I don't know. I don't know how permanent this is or not permanent, but, you know, it seems like it's,

this has a serious, serious issues going on with his, with his nervous system. So big, big episode, but so fun to come back to it. It's also, by the way, a hilarious episode. Let's not overlook the fact it was not just a sad episode. It was hilarious. Yeah, it was a really good episode. And before we get into that go to our Patreon for videos, we have a big four-part Christmas crossover coming up with reality gays, where we cover falling for Christmas, the Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie on Netflix.

It was so fun. It's five hours of content. Really good. That'll be out on the main feed, but if you want the video, you know, snuggle up, watch a video with your family, and that's up on Patreon, Crappenslondemand level. We've also got an interview with Anisha from Family Karma coming up there. So, you know, join, check it out. Boomersepi says lots of fun things happening. Yeah, lots of super fun things too. And also, by the way, thank you, IHART Podcast Awards.

We got nominated for two awards for Best Pop Culture and Best TV and Movie Podcast. So, that was like amazing. So So I just, I'm like, I just want to thank you. Yeah, that's so exciting. Thank you. That's really exciting. I heart, I heart. I heart, I heart, I heart. Thanks, I heart. Thank you. So that's super exciting. And now here we are with Balodec episode season 10 episode five. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about last week because there were some things we missed. So Ross, the man, the man's loot of the boat is,

you know, flirting with Katie, making out with Katie, and then Alyssa moves in for the kill. So he just starts making out with Alyssa, it's like whatever's in front of him. Katie got super offended and tried to play the like, I'm mad at you, but he didn't really care. And so Alyssa tried to get her mad, but she didn't really care. So it was kind of a miss on all those parts, but that did lead to a conversation between Frazier and Ross in their bedroom. Where Frazier's like, what's going on?

And he's like, I've just, you know, I have so much sex. I've got to have much, much sex. And he's like, but how much, you know, like I'm gay, so I never get to have sex on a butt. He's like, no, no, a lot. Like I masturbate 14 times a day. And Frazier instead of being like, yay, you know,

sex positive is like, you're sick. You've gotten illness. He was in like, and then he also reveals he was like in some sort of like polyamorous, like polyamorous relationship, what was like in like Thailand or something, or it was, so he was definitely just living out some sort of tantric lifestyle of his all of the sexual desires. Yeah, so I thought that was just a really funny scene just to watch Frasier react to it because he wasn't like really even grossed out or anything or being like hyper judgy. He was just like that's an illness. You need help. What can we do to help you? Yeah, so yeah, that was wild.

And then, I'm not permeated by the law. I'm not permeated by the law. Yeah. You're not motivated by the way, I didn't mean to cut Jeff. But I'm just not motivated too much by the law's love triangle. I don't know, I just can't, I can't get, I don't find myself invested in it

because I feel like he's not invested in it, you know? Yeah, I think it's kind of like a paint by numbers thing. So then Camille was just awful. Wish we'll get to more in this episode. So my notes from last week are, so Camille sucks and Ross is a sex addict. Okay, we're caught up. Camille sucks and she just sucks worse and worse and worse.

Like she's just like terrible. So now this episode opens up with very serious music and Cuz it's captain Lee and he's just told everyone at the meeting That he's got a step aside. He's gonna have to leave the boat and he's like well as you know I've been struggling with my mobility so I can't get a signal either. I've just been trying to post this TikTok all now Camille. God damn it moving. I hate moving. Everybody shut up. Can we have this meeting up on the deck? This meeting would be better if I was sitting down. You are sitting down. But like outside. God damn it. sitting down, but like outside. God damn it.

Listen, my mind's there, my heart's there, but my body just won't cooperate. Oh, I know with that slice, that's like the time I was looking myself in the mirror trying to get myself off. And I just couldn't finish it. My body just wasn't correct. I was looking myself. I was there. I was focused, but couldn't get it out. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, well, I never quit. Yeah, well I never quit Well, I've never would quit either but Joker calluses on the thing. You know what I'm saying Some point you've got to I'm trying to say goodbye to you all and you're kind of interrupting and ruining my moment so Here I go again listen. I finally gave myself a plane ride home, but it's a round trip, so I'm going to go back to St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St of the sea. Read it. So, Camille is like kind of fake crying and like cuddling with Ben.

Get what the fuck are you doing? You're at work, you know, and get off of him. Well, it's also fake because later on she skips his like actual departure from the boat. But here she is having these crocodiles. You're like, oh, I'm so sad. You know. Yeah, so he's like, I apologize, I probably overstayed longer than I should have, but I'm so sad. You know. Yeah. So he's like, I apologize. I probably overstayed longer than I should have, and I'm pretty fucking stubborn. Don't know if you noticed. And it's really actually sad.

You know, all jokes aside, he's talking about how he figured he finally realized he's no longer an asset. He's a liability. And that hurts. You know, yeah, it's so sad. Come on. So happy. Love Captain Lee.

Yeah. He says he's going to leave today that day and that I'll leave Captain's coming in that afternoon. And he's like, well, thank you for putting up with me. Y'all got work to do. So for one last time, just want to say, creases go to the front of the leg and Don't put the polo shirt image rider God damn it

so then Rachel's like And Fraser Comfort her he's like come here. You've got to make this season You are all we've got and they talk about how much they love Captain Lee and he's like well he's suffering more than we are and everything we do from this moment out is for the Captain. On the 13th rub out of the day I want to hear yes Captain Lee from Ross everyone on this vote. The next time anyone puts one of their disgusting hands on a banister just say that disgusting moment was for Captain Lee. And so she's like

I think you're missing something. I think you're missing something. And he's like oh cool to sit my radio. And where's that fucking thing? She goes you know who got it? Captain Lee came by and stole stole it Right, so Frazier goes up to a captain Lee is room and where you know captain Lee has it on his desk and Frazier is like This is not how I'm going to leave you in this vessel and captain is a This is not your last memory of me. Do you understand me captain your last memory of me shall not be Absolutely hideous as I am right here standing before you. You've been more to me than you can ever know, Captain. We're going to do everything we can this season. For you, Captain! God damn it, I saw you're ready to lighten the mood, Merrill.

All right, Jesus Christ. Fuck out of my room. So then Ross is in the mess with his crew and he's like, well, this is going to be exciting. Isn't it? I've got a happy and Katie's like, yeah, you kept him. Who knows? Yeah, because I looked at Ross and I thought, oh, Jesus, we're screwed and we're still a float. And Ross is like, and then it developed into a burning for your body. And we didn't even say that or was that a joke, I mean? Did he actually say that? Yeah, I started. He was like, and then that turned into a burning.

And in your body, I think he caught himself being like really nasty. Yeah. So then we go to the stews having a meeting. Analysts is like, um, are you gonna be the captain of Fraser? He's like, oh God, we don't be fucked. Now listen, ladies, even though we're leaving,

even though he's leaving, he's gonna be back. So every little thing you do, you think of him. You clean a little speck of dried-up poopy on the toilet, and you think of captain Lee. I don't care. Now put your dirty sweaty, underworked hands in the center for us to woo to woo Captain Lee. Every little step you take, Captain Lee will be there. Every little step I make, Lee will be together. Every little step, anyone, Bobby Brown, anyone, sorry, don't know him, a bit for my time. So Ben is talking to Alyssa and he's like, so what are you doing with Ross, the trouble

maker? And she's like, well, obviously you saw us in the hot tub. Yeah, everyone saw you in the hot tub. And it's like, yeah, he's like always trying to catch me, but Katie's obviously in there my guess. And he's like, yeah, well, I walked into a make-out session the other day between him and Katie. She goes, Oh my God, ew. And then Dick Owen kissed me. And then you wonder why she walked away, like you didn't know all that was going on.

Yeah. Well, I also like when she goes, ew, Ben goes, what do you mean, ew? It's fucking sick. He made it out with his, He made it out with his subordinate, the helmet at sea. So now Ross is having Katie hold the door. So like he's gonna go like rummaging and something. So he's like, could you hold this door? So it doesn't swing down and kill me. And she's like, I might wanna kill you.

Miami style, just kidding. I was like upset last night, but it is what it is. I'm like the cool girl. It's fine. I'm like one of the boys. Like no big deal. Like, it's fine. Like Ross said his connection was with me, so I'm like, really not worried.

Okay, I really don't care. Like, I'm not gonna let one drunker hook up on his part, ruin an entire summer. I'm like, don't care. I don't care whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever. So annoying. I was so annoying because. I'm like, don't care whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever whatsoever. So annoying. I was so annoying because she's talking like, oh yeah, well, you know, I mean, what are you going to do? It's just working.

And then he said his connection was with me. I was like, oh, I thought you were going to have a strong moment where you're like, fuck this guy. But no, seriously, maybe he'll like me when he's not drunk, you know? And then we see the captain packing and there's a whip in his suitcase, which I like that they just got to close up on the whip and they never explain it. So, which they probably have and I just forgot, but I was like, what's that? What's that about? Probably, it's probably about. And this show has twisted my mind, you know. So, Alyssa and Camilla are in the laundry room

and Camilla's got her sunglasses on. And she's like, I don't even know what these are. Alyssa goes, um, do you want me to show you how to fold those? She goes, no, I don't want you to show me. And she just throws whatever it is in the trash. What was it? I don't know, but it was someone's, it belonged to someone. And it was like, can't throw people stuff away babe and

Camille goes yes I can literally what it is. So now Alyssa is making a bad and bitching to Haley. You know she's like oh my god Camille is literally a problem and I see her not doing shit and she has one more charter for me to ignore it. And then Camille starts coming down the stairs and hears all this she's just come out of the shower and she's like before I turn around and punch her in the fucking face because I'm getting upset now Camille's like um are you talking about me oh go ahead go ahead and tell me more one of those is like we are

and Camille goes oh tell me more and Camille at this point now has a towel over her head sort of like making she looks like she's in a habit. And it was just like, no thanks, we're kind of upset. And I was like, no, talk to you about it. It's like, no thanks, but like definitely later. It's like, well, yeah, but now be a good time. Yeah, but it's not up to you. So like maybe you have to work, maybe.

And Kim feels like I'm literally doing everything I can to do it right. And meanwhile, she looks like Mary is Nazareth at this point You know and Haley's like listen, you know you and Elizabeth issues right she goes Yeah, well she came into the laundry room and told me how to do laundry This is like everyone is literally like oh she's so lazy can she pick up the pace and feels like lazy I need to pick up the pace and look at me, I was like, lazy, I need to pick up the pace. Yeah. Yeah.

Like I'm going as fast as I can. Yeah, but you need to maybe go faster. So, I'm gonna go faster. Okay, then you can do it. Yeah, maybe you could do it. Yeah, if you could do my job, but you can't. So, I could do your job and better, because I dated a quarterback.

Yeah, and it was like, guys, please don't. So I could do your job and better because I dated a quarterback. Yeah. And I was like, guys, please don't. And Camille's like, yeah, if I was classless like yourself and listen, like, yeah, you're the one screaming talking about classy with your pussy out all night. Yeah. So Camille is like, she's off her fucking rockers, bro. She's off her rockers. So we go to Tony and Ross and Katie and Tony's like, that sucks, the captain's leaving, right?

And Ross is like, yeah, well, having the freedom to move around is something, isn't it? And he tells us, whoever's coming on his captain has big boots to fill. And I'm going to masturbate onto them, right onto them. to feel and I'm going to masturbate onto them, right onto them. There are good captains, there are bad captains and there are captains who appreciate a good nut. So then Captain Lee is now, he's like filling out his log, being like relieved, doodie, and like a golf cart is showing up with a replacement Captain and we don't see what it is, but we see a sneaker. And then Captain Lee is there and then the door opens and in walks as predicted by Ronnie.

Captain Sandy? Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, sorry. Sorry captain Lee's like, ah thanks for coming. I appreciate it How do my best to get back here and she's like, oh yeah, I'm real sorry. I'm real sorry. All right, that's enough of the sorry Do you need a hug? Do you? You need a hug. Do you? Come on. Let's sign these papers together.

Okay, okay, we're gonna sign this paper. This one here says you're signing off, and this one here says you need a hug, and this one here says lifetime subscription to Sandy's hugs, we're doing a bullet anytime. And this one here says Captain Lee's top of the line Lexus Mobile is going to his good friend, Captain Sandy. Wait a second. He's like, now I know you're seeing the best doctors in the world, so just one question.

Have you tried hug therapy? He's like, kids are goddamn mits off me, wonderless woman. He's like, these kids are trying to kill me. Come on, you're gonna get better. You're gonna need a doctor to sew your arms back on if you ever try that hug and go sit again Hey, I got you a one-way ticket to my arms I get lost And your eyes god damn it someone come up here and get my luggage and preferably this baggage hanging off of me. I have a Debbie Gibson is very quite effective though.

I almost caved there for a second. Coolish beat, more like Foolish Captain. So they line up and they're like, bye Captain. They bye, Captain Ali. Good bye, old man. Wish I had a fuck to win on the jeans. He's like, good bye everybody. God damn it, Closer, put your arms at your side, Sandy, I swear to God. Okay, we'll see you later, hugging you in my head, hugging you in my mind.

Hold on, there he goes. So everyone lines up to see Captain Ali leave, except for Camille who's down in the shower. so Captain Lee's like, alright, hey, hey everyone Don't you all have something better to hang out here on the air day for crying out loud Okay, hold it together till I get back and make me proud of you, okay? Cuz I already am not kiddos nestil none of your kiddos yet. I may be, I may not have full control my body yet, but that doesn't mean I give out the kiddos for free, so get back to work.

So Frasier tries it, you know, he's like, as Captain would say, back to work, before I cry in the fetal position and rethink every choice I've ever made in my life, go goddamn it, I'm gonna fail at this stroke. So then Frasier walks by, and he goes, hey babe, you just miscaped him. She goes, yeah, I was busy being fucked with. And he's like, what do you mean?

She goes, yeah, just getting fucked with by Alyssa. Yeah, like apparently I'm lazy and all three of you guys have noticed this. This, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this comes and is like, oh my God come here. He just hugs him. Yeah, so she needs a hug. Even though everyone else is crying, she's the one who needs a hug because she got to fight. So Sandy's like, I'll crew, I'll crew this is your temporary forever captain.

Meet me in the sky lounge in five minutes, five minutes. So they all go up and meet you. Look at this. Oh, smiles. Wow. Hi guys, I'm Captain Sandy. Look at this. Oh, smiles. Wow. Hi, guys. I'm Captain Sandy. Never easy taken over for another captain, you know,

which is why I carried a baseball bat around in my purse just in case. But hopefully, he'll be back. At some other point, it's not my season now, because this is now my season, okay? So when a new captain comes, other things change. Naps schedules. Let's get him down. I, I am literally the captain now. I am the captain now. Um, you know,

when a new captain comes on board, it's different. It's, it's difficult. Almost as difficult as outselling us some Somali pirates. How you want to hear that story? Okay, I can tell it. Now, I know you guys, this is regular below deck classic Coke flavor, but you know, I am on another little show called Met below deck. God, checkhand is back before you let around the ocean. It's a real good one. So for those of you who don't know me, I started in the Caribbean. I've seen storms. I've seen fires. I've seen wars. I've seen pirates. At the end of the day, I'm here doing what I've seen wars, I've seen pirates.

At the end of the day, I'm here doing what I love to do, hug and pirates. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay, so let's show Captain Lee that we're going to be our best selves until he gets back. Okay, now why is everyone laughing and looking at Camille and saying best selves in quotes with air quotes? I don't care again. So now she's in the wheelhouse and Ross comes in. He's like, hello, I'm Ross. And she's like, okay, you got a lot of change in your pocket there. Get your hands out of your pocket.

Okay. So Ross, I hear you're incredible and I can rest knowing there's always fresh sperm being ejected somewhere. So this is a vessel that floats over fish. So you decide who's on anchor watch every night so they can learn. Because I want them to learn. People need responsibility. Because one day they'll be in command. Oh and by the way, I see what you're saying. What was I, I didn't say anything. Well, you mean, oh, dressing for less, I can see. Look, I like this. She's perfect.

So he's like, well, you know, when Captain Newer was here, the engineers were nicely stepping in and doing the anchor watchers for us. Well, I masturbated downstairs and not the best news I want to hear, but I respect the captain and we'll make it work. I'll just masturbate upstairs now. So the galley, the captain's like, hi, hi, oh, Rachel, you want to show me the crew area? This is my first tour on this boat. I can't believe it. And Rachel's like, well, there's a stew fridge and there's a pantry behind you. Oh, God, fucking god, you're a terrible traumatic memories of trying to

make pay. I want people ask for rice and I actually give them popsicles covering the barbecue sauce. Never gonna live that one down. Yeah, Rachel's like, you know what, working with Captain Lee, there's a piece of mine knowing that we already have this well-oiled machine and with our release shipped together and now we have a different dynamic. I'm gonna gotta like figure out how to do things cohesively.

I'm like, well-oiled machine, you've messed up every meal so far, this charter. You lost a truffle. You lost a truffle dinner. And the truffle dinner. You lost a truffle dinner. You lost a truffle dinner. Every meal is like, okay, all they want is a hard-built egg on a plate.

Oh, guys, I dropped all the eggs. Oh, how am I going to do this now? The game out scrambled. What do you want from me? So the captain's like, wow, this mess is really nice, huh? We shouldn't even call it the mess. We should call it the nice. It's like someone's living room in here.

I hope you're good at charades. God, I love living room. All right. Someone who has a very small house is living room right in here. Great. All right. Uh, movie, like, uh, pirates of the Caribbean on fire. Yes. You got it good Okay All right, so that was a good tour. Thank you very much And I mean while downstairs Camille just like break something and she's like Fuck it. She she dropped she's claiming up and she drops a glass into the trash can and she just goes off fuck it Yeah And I was like in my mind I like, this is gonna come back.

Camille doesn't break things. And it goes, I know it is for the rest of the episode. Let's go get back. So Ben Ross, Ross is like, all right everyone, I want to thank the team for enjoying my sexual overtures towards everything that moves. Here, Ben, I'm going to award you the Golden Deck Brush, which then means that you are going

to have the title of Lead Deck Hand. So congratulations, here's a mop, which is a symbol of how you will be doing nothing differently. You just have a different title. And Ben's like, well, being a leader, I've done team sports. I was a swimmer, competitive swimmer, which requires great, great team skills as I'm in that single lane going back and forth, back and forth. Bingo leader is in my blood, I'm sure. This reminds me over the weekend, my friend Mike, who's British, watched I think his

first ever episode of Below Deck, and he was so excited he goes to me. Ben, so I was watching Below Deck, and they have someone on there who calls himself a deckhand. I was like, yes, in my mind, I'm like, that's like literally three people every single season, but yeah fine. He's like, it's just Deccan, and he goes, so I thought about it like, hey, he's walking around with his deck in his hand. I'm like, uh-huh. And he just smiled, he was so proud of his joke. And I was like, you know what, I wish he had seen the scene

of the anointing of the lead Deccan in the spirit of Queen Elizabeth. Well, yeah. Well, did you tell him? It's called Bloidic. You know what, I just wanted to let him have his moment. I was like, I'm not gonna, I'm just gonna say, that was great, Mike.

Oh, that was funny. So preference sheet meeting, preference sheet meeting. Oh, okay. So, you know, pirates, that's my preference. That preference sheet meeting. Oh, okay. So, you know, pirates, that's my preference. That's too many. What's your preference? I prefer bananas to be floating on the water.

Did I point to and say, God, I love that banana. That's my preference. Hey, here's my preference. Someone who may have played tennis at some point in their life and might want to talk about it. It's my preference. Hey, here's my preference someone Who may have played tennis at some point in their life and might want to talk about it. Hey great We got Gigi Fernandez two-time Olympic gold medalist 117 grand slam titles and loves carrying a tennis bag on her shoulder at all times. Okay. Wow excited for her guys

I don't know if you're into tennis or golf or lesbians, but we've got all of them today, okay? I think it's so cool we're gonna have a gold medalist on board. And the chef is like, oh god, gold medals, such a drive, such effort. Yeah, we also got, we got a Jean Gettys, former pro golfer, no relation to Barbara Belgettis, but you know what? If we could get her ashes on board, that'd be great too. Oh gosh, I don't think she's related to Anne Gettis either, you know, who's famously turned

babies into capages for calinters at Barnes and Noble, but God, how she shows up. That does remind me is anyone interested in sitting in a cup of lettuce and having a photo taken because I am working on that. Okay, now this is a map of the island, okay? I've marked these all with tiny little cutouts of baby stress like pumpkins. Okay. So, God, I love the Caribbean. Last time I was here was way back in 2008. It is great to be back.

Oh, the mountains are magnificent. It feels like Jurassic Park. If Jurassic Park were just a lovely island with no dinosaurs. That's exactly what this would be like. So, so. But if there were a lot of dinosaurs, I would say angetties. You can't bring babies, especially babies that look like food onto Jurassic Park. What are you nuts? Hold on one second. I'm getting a call from Angadus or. Hey, Angadus, what? Hey. Have you ever taken a picture of a baby the last raptor and lettuce?

Yeah, I think you better get down here. Yeah. Wait, is that a thing? Angadus takes pictures of babies and lettuce. Because that's in my mind, that's what it is. She puts them in like, they're like a flower, or a butter lettuce. Or you know, she puts some of these really cute little, it's really cute little.

She does. She does put them in lettuce, it turns out. I was like, I'm not sure. But it feels right. That was the weirdest craze. I mean, it was everywhere, those anguettes babies. Yeah, I mean didn't and didn't Celine Dion do pictures? Oh sweet sweet Celine Dion. So bad Celine Dion had like the end gas Celine Dion is going through a terrible ordeal right now. I feel so terrible for her

God been bring it down much Jesus we go from anguettes to what Celine Dion's going through come on How much? Jesus we go from and get east to what Celine Dion's going through come on Well, no, I was afraid that people would not would be like how could he mention Celine Dion and and like not mention that like it's like Cheese shows about sad enough for like a lot of bring Celine into this well the thing is this you always interrupt me with it You're bringing it down before I can pick it back to the happy Back from that. You just put it back from it. Well I have a plan. I have a plan. It's like, okay. I haven't reached a period in my sentence, but I met the comma and you say, well that's

bringing it down. And then I'm like, well the pendulum was swinging the other way and you just grabbed the pendulum. You literally just, you literally just went, wow, Celine Dion. God, she's up. Well, because She's well because you reacted because you went like this. Oh, because you actually gave an O sound and so then I was like well now I've got to acknowledge it. Oh Well, you know actually that's but you know what that noise really was though and all I swear to God I googled and getties Because we were talking about and getting so I So I confused your heart melting for endgun. I'm literally staring at babies dressed like lettuce, looking at each other.

And then there's another one in like a pile of roses. And then another one's a little bunny. And then another one's like the top of a little rose. So I went, aww. To quote Frasier, absolutely disgusting. All like Anne get out. But that said, love you, Celine. Feel better over there.

Well, here we had just brought it back to a happy place and then you decided to have the Celine Dion. No, because I was mean to you. You know, I was mean to you when you were trying decide to have the Celine Dion. No, because I was mean to you. You know, I was mean to you when you were trying to be nice to Celine Dion. Yeah, I was mean to you and Celine and it's Christmas. I shouldn't be mean to my band. I love Ben. You know, I shouldn't be mean to Celine.

I love Celine. So it's fine. You can be mean to me. Sorry, Ben. That's the way we celebrate, Hanuk. Jewish guilt. Oh, that was sweet. Yeah, it was sweet. Like a nice piece of guilt. Chong Lingyilt, that is. Anyway, the point is it's not about Celine who we love, obviously, and it's

not about Ann Gettis, who we'd love less, but it's about the fact that Rachel has now called Frasier into the galley. And she has found this broken glass that cameo left in the trash just sticking up all jagged and dangerous. And she just points at it. And she's like, this was in the trash. And she's like, oh, this is Camille's work. What a horrific human being with terribly each job.

I'll get to the bottom of this. Yeah, it's like,'s gonna continue. And he says, My biggest issue with Camille, it's her work ethics is lacking. Yeah, Frage, you think so? You think so, Frage? It's like, I don't have a plan yet, but I hope it comes to me soon.

And Rachel's like, Killer, no, maybe not that. Remember her. No, I'm not gonna just eat her. Oh, that's not. Send her back in, I'm not gonna just eat her. Oh, that's no. Send her back in time, then the diamonds are here. No. Transport her into the middle of volcano, she'll be cut.

Hey, this is Captain Sandy weighing in. How about we just give her over to the pirates because I know one person who would not be able to out-risk them, that girl. Okay, just one reminder. I think one of the average pirates. I'll tell you, let Tom Hanks in coming to save that girl. Okay, this one reminded me of every experience. I'll tell you, let Tom Hanks ain't coming to save that girl. I'll say

you what? A volleyball would do much better job at seeing a dextue than that girl. Am I right? I'm going high five. Put that girl on a deserted island. You'll see a volleyball with a bloody handprint on his face, grow legs and run away. Hey, you guys want to see something cool? It's on my iPhone. It's a picture of a volleyball on a on a lettuce.

Photograph by Angettys. Wow. At a Getty oil station, it's crazy. I just ran into her there. I said, I got a volleyball. I got some lettuce and do your thing. The caption says Wilson, Colin, my heart will go on. Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, Celine. Hey, you know what, Wilson also makes tennis balls, which is great because you need to bring in this coming in board. It's a circle of life in my right case.

So down in the mess, Camille is still has her sunglasses on, and she's just getting shit faced. And Ben's like you're wearing glasses only inside and it's like it's dark in here. And Haley's like all right that's enough. I need to sleep. Good night. Someone's left the teeth brush out. So Frazier comes in and Camille's like guys you know what's hilarious that I'm drinking

again. I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna drink a liquor Very just like just be sure to drink some water before you go to bed and stop being a complete abomination to the human race Thank you So she stays up a little and just starts getting shit. Yeah, water things are just fucking a loser and she goes to the kitchen She's like I need a lot of swings open a drawer Flings open a drawer. I guess she's like found it mother fucking yeah first drawer And then she goes out to the dock and she lies down on the dock and stairs the moon because hey, I must you copy

I'm gonna need to go to the moon soon. Do you mind? Thanks? Like I would actually be okay with sending her to the moon. I think that would be good. Yeah. Um, so Frazier is in his room just so annoyed. He's like, oh my God, someone with no desire to help the team. Like, is there anything in you? Some of us are here to actually work.

I hope I come up with a plan. Fire her. What is this? Fire her. You don't have the instructions on an IKEA shelf? This is not hard. You don't need an L-Rinch. Fire her. I know. So now it's the next morning and Tony is working out.

Which I don't know why it annoys me every time he works out. Like I don't mind watching people working out, but when he works out, it annoys me. Because you know that Tony is a sort of person that like everything revolves around that morning workout. So like he's like, at all hours of the day, there's like an annoying interaction you've had with them because it has to do like, like, hey, Tony, you want to go get like a sandwich?

Oh, I can't because like I just worked out and I have to like, let my macros like digest with the protein or like at night, like, hey, you want to go out like, oh, I can't because I got to work out tomorrow morning. Like, there's just something about us working out that like kind of triggers me. Yeah, I think hot working out, like a hot worked out person, it's like effortless, you know? Like, wow, what a nice body.

Oh yeah, you know, I mean, it's stand like 45 minutes every three days or something. It's just, you know, it makes me feel better, whatever. But not like, oh my God, if I don't work out. And also this. Ah! Yeah, every time is something. Oh, wow, both the fish and the dog just looked at me.

So, yeah, and it goes further in this episode, right? So the captain's like, more than a Tony, and she goes, if I was, oh, she's looking for a coffee. She's like, if I were first officer on this boat, where would I keep the nest cafe? Here it is. Well, I've just been demoted to first officer. Congratulations.

Yeah, you know, I just want the crew to know that like anything that you do, I would do too. So that means you gotta find me, nest cafe is going forward. Oh, okay, great. Hey, hey, you gotta find me, Nescafe is going forward. Okay, great. Hey, hey, you know what? I'm in a big pickle. Literally, I only brought a pickle costume to work today.

So just a big old pickle walking around. And I gotta drive this big boom off the dock dress like a pickle. Oh God, I hope we don't run aground. Stupid. So, Kaville get in bed with Ben. And he's like, oh, I missed you. You would, you're usually in here.

You weren't last night. She goes, oh my God, that's so sweet. So the captain is making her an espresso pot. I love that whenever it's captain Sandi's on board, they're like, let's really lean into the Nespresso story. But I know. Hope I won't run this into the ground. I had a special dress like a gash darn pickle.

I knew I shouldn't have entered in that classic contest. It would bring nothing good out of it. I knew they'd send me a pickle cashew. I knew I'd put it on, and I knew I'd put it on the worst possible time. And that's what happened. So the on deck Katie is like, she's like, oh my God, I'm like, I probably save like 50 quotes from last night because I like to read things in the morning that, you know, what's that?

You say it, Ross is like, inspire you to be successful. Yeah, that's it. That's how we do it in Miami. So the Fraser has his meeting. He's like, goes for going to do wonderful today. Awntley and Camille is like leaning back on the couch eating, you know, eating something with cream cheese all over. It's like, yeah. So then, let's see. So then we got everybody hugging. We've got Katie hugging Ross because he understands her motivational reading before

bad. And then Camille hugging Ben. And then the captain comes to Ross and she's like, okay Drop these then those this is last put your pants back on you said to drop them The lines the lines for Christ sake So then provisions show up and then those come on board and then they change into whites and now finally here come the guests and those come on board and then they change into whites and now finally here come the guests and um GG the slow the slow mo walk on these ladies I can't it's like

I just I was dying it's like dun dun dun uh tt tt tt tt tt tt tt it's like golf sorts you know yeah and um

GG Fernandez shows up and she's got a tennis bag as in like something that houses your tennis rack It's like a song over her shoulder. I'm like lady There's no tennis court on this boat. I don't know what you're doing here with this thing every Gigi is having trouble letting go. I don't know if someone finally told GG get off the court. God damn it. I'm not congrats on your medals. Okay. Sonia Morgan. It's over. I don't know if someone told her that, but she acts like she just found out today. She is taking a victory lap. And I feel like this victory lap has been going on for

the 20 years because she is all too happy to bring everything back to the fact that she's played. She was like an amazing tennis player. Yeah, she sees Tony. She's like, where are you from? And he tells her, she's like, oh my God. And I spend your tea. Do you like tennis? Like that's not even in Spanish.

You're just a tennis in an accent. Yeah, I play it pretty well, actually. Hey, you know what? I, you know what? I think this is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, Oh, you okay? Oh, sorry, sometimes I just say is 10 times. That's my 10 is, is, 10 is, 10 is, oh my God. So then, 10 is, I got you, I got you.

10 is, 10 is, 10 is, I got you I got you Dennis I got it So um Camille's like okay, well you guess what I'm off deck now because no one's told me that, but I'm taking the highly initiative to do that. So the ladies are out there taking pictures and they're like, say cheese, and she's like, cheese, love. Let me put it in tennis. Okay. Guys, be quiet.

We're making such a racket. Cause that's a 10's 10 something using tennis. And so Sandy's like, oh god, first time on this boat, there's 27 knots of wind. I got to get off with the gold medalist and a golf champion. No pressure. Ross, get your hands out of your pocket. You said to get off with the gold medalist and the golf champion. Not there, Ross, get to the lines.

Oh my god, it, get to the lines. Oh my God. It's a lot of wind. And it's so shallow in the shallow in the shallow. In the shallow in the shallow. That's the song I had to sing to win the pickle costume. Sorry, I just... Method like a pickle singer in the shallows. God, the classic amateur singing competitions are really competitive one too, so

Ross is like clear to swing check all right, you know TMI, you know save it for the diary room Ross Oh, wow, that's some wind God that's a lot of wind and he's like clear 15 feet Okay, we're clear of obstructions and Gigi's like, oh god. Hey captain I was just gonna ask if this is stressful like playing center quarter Wimbledon Gigi get the fuck outta here That was she just like appears out of nowhere Like she's like climbed up to be like Get to the captain before it's too late to say this

That was stressful like Ripple did I'll save this. That was stressful. Like Ripple did. In a glitch. Ooh. Oh man, that was more stressful than seeing Mary Jo Fernandez drop her towel on the shower. If you know what I'm saying, do you know what I'm saying?

Actually I do. I do. Shh. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, she's doing that tennis thing again. Oh god, Gigi's twirking. Gigi's twirking again. Gigi's like, okay, just excuse me. I'm gonna go find a bath and I gotta drop a juice. Juice. Advantage Gigi.

So, Kay, he's like, it is so cool having a woman who can run a 60 meter boat. Fuck yeah, that is so awesome. Settle down, Katie. I'm going to write that down as my quote of the day. So now Rachel, it's decided that she's going to do a Mediterranean lunch. And then the guests are all looking at the peatons. It's the peatons, right? The peat, the peatons, which are those mountains those mountains those two mountains there and two shackles in the water two shackles and let's let's

dock here while a cruise ship goes by okay very fun so Camille meanwhile is gonna start doing laundry and was she stuck in laundry and she's talking to herself and just you know complaining about everything as usual yeah she's like I came here thinking it was a parent I'm the Dexu and there was like a role for me. Like at least 50, 50, I mean, I didn't send it for jotting to do fucking laundry. So Tony goes to talk to the captain and, I don't care who cares.

So it's just like they're getting along their business. You know, ladies doing a handstand already drunk by the hot tub and Camille's like, oh, that's it. I'm going to go say hi to the deck team. I've had enough. Yeah, so she goes down to like where Ross is, where everyone's like working. She goes, hey Ross, can I say a huge favor? I don't have anything to do inside and I don't want to do it anyway, whatever I don't

have to do. And I want to ride that e-foil. So can you like, please like tell Frazier and it rost just starts shaking his head, like no, no, and I was like, I mean, I'm 50, 50 with my time. Like, why can't I get some help? He's like, can you calm down and please be respectful, please, and hold on one second,

I'm about to take off my pants once I do. He's like, the fact that she's coming shouting and demanding in front of my crew, I don't appreciate that. You know, that's just not what we do So it's like well Fraser and I communicate it's not you deciding. It's like well If I don't say something you guys don't do shit. I mean sorry. I'm trying to be respectful, but it's true And it's like well, you're not being respectful. She's okay Just like the storm

She goes, okay, bye. I'm just like the storm's off. Yeah. Yeah. So then Sandy, meanwhile, like Sandy's observed the slide process, which is pretty painless because they're used to actually, finally they're like using a crane for the slide for the first time in the history of blow deck. So she's like, he been great job on this slide. You did it like a pro, okay.

And you made a, you made a plan and you thought it through and it happened just like me when I said, you know what, Sandy? You're going to enter that singing competition of the last thing you do. And I hear stands before you are pickle captain. Am I right? You implemented that plan just like that time. I saw a side of ranch this morning and I dipped my head into it because I met it and I'm a method pickle. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha are call service to the table and everybody sits down and Camille's like, oh my God, Fraser, since I did all that work, can I go on deck? And because if you do the cleaning after, she goes, okay, fine, I'll do all the cleaning at the end, all of that. So he's

like, Ross Ross, you can have Camille on deck. And he's like, coffee. So Camille's like, I don't fucking care if they're mad at me. I'm gonna set these meds straight So Ross pulls Camille to the side and it's like he's like She's like, oh my god first off Spy-polarized from my delivery. I mean, I didn't obviously deliver a physical thing That's like a little bit too much work, but I apologize for the sound of my boy So I'll start there and I'll probably end there too. She's such an asshole So he goes, hey, alright. He's instructing everybody. So I'll start there and I'll probably end there too. She's such an asshole. So he goes, hey, all right, he's instructing everybody. They're all down there and she goes, he goes, and Camille can I have a chat?

She says, um, yeah, yeah, I wanted to talk to you too. Like to look all tough in front of, she's just such an asshole. She's awful. She's so entitled like the epitome of entitled person. And then we get her backstory. So she's like, yeah, my delivery is a problem. One time I told off my principal in high school, because she comes in on this power trip, and she picks up all the kids that normally get in trouble and said, um, they're gonna have had us down for our phones. And I'm like, you're not gonna touch me like you're a fucking, and then she decides to completely spell me

from our lady Academy. So I went and I got a GD and then she decides to completely spell me from our lady economy So I went and I got a GD and I still went to college Winning oh my god, what a wretched human being what an absolute fucking trash But like a like a what a garbage what a what a float till when you know when they talk about garbage floating in the sea Like just like like like something the size of Connecticut of plastic Like that's that's her. She is she is the garbage at sea. She is so terrible I mean, I know the story was not just as simple as oh the principal came in and wanted to pat me down And I said no way and I got expelled you know there's a whole lot more of that story justice for the principal

Yeah, she sucks. So Ross, it's like, okay, thank you for your half-astropology. You're still on deck. I'm sick. Oh my God. Thank you. Can I sit down? So then inside Frazier is giving Haley 15 and she's like, oh, just 15. I don't even want that long. Thank you, sweetie, thank ya. It was like point counterpoint. You know the Frazier, by the way, was watching this and when she said that she got expelled out of our Lady Academy, Frazier was like,

well, they ever nice the problem. It's an academy for ladies. Hmm. So, she said, ooh, so then Jane, meanwhile, Jane, the golfer, Jane Getters, in their relationship to Anne, is like, you know, I'm just so glad there was no social immediate when I was playing golf because I was out there. I was on tour.

I was having so much fun girls. If you could have just seen the way I was at 23, just going out at night and having a coffee, I'm telling you, it was out of control. And her friend is such an asshole because she goes, yeah, I mean, well, we were 25. We were going around the world, making more money than anyone we knew. And her friend goes, at that point in time, right? Excuse you. Are you really gonna count inflation into this woman's story? It's like it's not worth anything. Congrats on that $20 a game you were making back in 1922. So Haley calls her boyfriend who is some odd like

some odd dude with a calm over. I really don't know how to explain it so she calls him and he's like hello and she goes oh God I miss you so much because I miss you so much because oh well done you're getting better at this aren't you know that the great relationship is not communication it's sucking dick that's what it is communication. It's sucking dick. That's what it is. So now, so now she's still like, she's like a chimney sweep from Mary Poppins. Like, sexual chimney sweep. So the ladies go down the slide and then Camille is helping Ben send them down the slide. And then she gets one down and says, yeah, that's what I love about Doc. You send them laughing

and then you just lie down and she just like plus them on a duck chair. I don't think I've ever seen that ever happen. I'm taking that. That's just what that's just what being on deck is. It's a deck in your hand. So now Ross is telling Frazier about Camille. They're both like, what do you do with a problem like Camille? So Frazier's like, well, I've given up on Camille. She's disgusting. I just want her on deck away from me, where she can ruin all you people out there.

And Ross is like, but she's infecting my crew down there also I was just custard coming up going you know what I want Ben you know what I want right now all I want a cigarette alcohol That was my next guess Oh, I was hoping you'd say personality Frazier get out of here. Oh So then Katie goes to make out with Ross later and then Frazier is checking it on courses and we find out we're getting a Puerto Rican feast and Rachel's doing this thing where everything she announces she does it like a lady on the news in El Paso. Like I think I've told you about her before but she's still be like tonight we're having

a feast. A Puerto Rican feast. We're gonna transport GG back to childhood and we're gonna feed our plantanos. Well, I hope the plants and those are coming out of a tennis ball thrower thing because like that apparently is the best way to get GG to where childhood. A plantain, delicious. A plantain, delicious.

A plantain, it's flying out of the ball. What do you call this ball machine? Yeah, ball machine. Just a ball machine. She's just gonna pick up plantains with a hopper. I could use one of those. So the captain's like, okay, so no one's gonna be on anchor watch except for Ben until two.

Okay, Ross, and he's like, go dammit. So now they're getting ready for dinner and something's happening at the bar, the camera kind of closes up. And one of the ladies is like, what's happening here? And Gigi's like, oh, my tennis star coming through. All right, back up, ladies. It's like doing a nice forehand for him. Yeah.

And Cassandia's taking a shower and then there's like smoke and then almost on there's like beeping and the fire alarm and everything. And the least he's been going, whoa, smoke, smoke, whoa, smoke, smoke. And so Sandy comes running out of her room and she's in like a, a hastily assembled of a lower sweatsuit. She's like, Oh, God. Now the time when I really need to be in my pickle costume and all I got is the Lord thing. God damn it.

Thank you. Me. I was like, ladies, there are life jackets. There are life jackets right here. And I was cracking. I mean, you do have to tell people on the boat, you know, like we could all die. I just think it's funny that that's the one thing Camille does is like bring the negative thing like we're all gonna die grab a life jacket You're going down tennis and

I was like, oh I broke but I'm bleeding. Oh, sorry. I left a broken glass on your life jacket. Sorry I cannot believe that it wasn't Camille I cannot believe that it wasn't Camille smoking or throwing her cigarettes somewhere. I totally thought Camille started a fire. Yeah, me too, but it was just electrical, which was iPhone disturbing. It's like a, it's like a scariest type of fire because it's like that unassuming fire that like you can't, like it's like, oh, yeah, you can't like blame anybody There's no yeah, there's no reason, but it made me even more worried because the captain captain Sandy's like yeah Well, unfortunately both start on fire Yeah, it's usually electrical

But sometimes they catch on fire when you have like a lumbering mast that falls down a staircase on fire when you have like a lumbering master falls out of staircase. Oh my I'm so excited. It's Kyle. So Ross is with Tony and he's like alright I need you to this map. I've got your schedule. Alright 8 till 6 you're working okay. Then from 6 till 8 you're off. But then from 8 until 2 you're working again and Tony's like what? No that's shit. And he's like yeah that's how're working again and Tony's like what no that shit and he's like yeah That's how it's going. He's like no, and then he starts to spiral He does really start to spiral. It's like sorry You can't be spiraling right now because this is when you're off so get back to bed. So

Meanwhile the table all the way it's like well. I love the napkin rings here Wow, this is beautiful and then the plates are beautiful. Yeah, the plate kind looks like the thing I won for winning Wimbledon So So The McCutts reactor Tony is like I really like to go to bed early and Ross is like, yeah Well, I know the captain has made this schedule and we've got to stick to the schedule. And he tells us, I'm frustrated as hell. It seems that it will screw with my time to work out. And this really pisses me off. I need my work out. Oh, I'm so sorry that Tony won't be able to at 830 say, I think I'm turning into a pumpkin and then have to go to sleep. Sorry. So, yeah, he gets sadder and sadder.

And so, the ladies give it here, and Alyssa gives Camille a hat, because they're dressing for, I don't know why they're wearing like Panama Jack hats to do a Puerto Rico dinner. That really sure was going on there. Yeah, it's sort of like a Cuban, I don't know.

So, then it Rachel's a Puerto Rico. They're like, here we are, the ultimate Puerto Ricans, Tommy Bahama. Let's do this. So Rachel's mother into herself. She's like, er, and guy, I wish someone had kicked me. I mean, when I said them, I was like, kid, I want to be a chef. I was like, just like, kick me and said, no, you're not.

I go on to be a banger. So then, um, Haley then starts talking about going to Thailand once. She's like, oh, Lucy, why are you so On time I was in Thailand. I was so only and I masturbated in the bathroom with my friend's teeth brush She said I don't know And it's like yeah, the only romantic relationship I've ever had on a bet was with an electric teeth brush Never shagged on about just that electric toothbrush Didn't bring a deal though because I didn't know if I could get through customs. And whenever she's in her confessionals, they just let her go and don't respond. And it's so

funny because there are these really long pauses. So yeah, just an electric toothbrush. Hey, never shagged on about just an electric toothbrush. Didn't bring that dildo because I didn't know I could Get it through custom sort of something It does have 4.5 ounces of liquid inside it so I thought let me make me throw it out Any vibrations a good vibration in there. It's like staring off into space It's like hey has anyone seen my pickle cashew on my little concern? Oh, it's just a costume So the chef is like okay ladies for this course we have And And then GG decides that she wants to play a game and the game is hey everyone

Let's talk about the coolest thing you've ever done. I'll start. I met the Queen of England and I played tennis in front of the Queen of England at the Royal Albert Hall, and that was pretty cool. Oh, fuck you, GG. And Haley's like, I fucked myself with the cheese brush. Who is that? Get her a plate. Get her a plate. I dated a quarterback in Ole Miss. Oh, yeah. So then Gigi's wife, Gettys, is like, well, my, the coolest thing, my answer is that it was being there for Gigi when she was giving birth to our kids. It's true. It's true, guys. I was like, well, yeah, you know, Gigi's gonna be like, thanks for making me look like an asshole. I know. To be fair, I gave birth in front of Wien Elizabeth, so it's sort of a two-for-one.

The mouth of the Anteloyed Webber was made of sir. So now this food is being the steak looks amazing, that's being served. And then Rachel's making this chocolate cake that looks delicious, but she wants to make into a tennis ball. So she's gonna wrap it in fondant, and she's gonna use a texture spray to make it look a tennis ball, which is crazy because I think we've all been, you know, scandal,

not traumatized by Dave's endless mirror glazes and he's making it so thick. Also, it doesn't fuzzy texture spray sound delicious. I know, I'm like, I think you can just leave it with like a green fondant and like make the seams. I don't think we need the actual texture. You're doing well, Rachel. You haven't fucked up this episode yet.

Like, let's leave the fancy cake toppings. Yeah, absolutely. And so she puts it together, the two pieces together, and then the fondant, and then they just kind of sag. So now it's like this weird oval. And then she starts spring it, but it's bright orange, you know, it's like, oh, fuck me. There are tennis balls out there, but it was not the fact she was looking for. By the time it was done, it looked like like a like a sticky bun, like a, or like a, a brioche or a, or like a sticky bond or like a preo-ish or a It looked like a breast implant, you know, before they're put in and they're like, here,

let's pick your size, let's feel them, ladies. I watch a lot of housewives. So then they serve it anyway, because what can she do, right? But Camille's no help, because she's like, oh, fuck me, is this green? And she's like, yeah, that's not the right green, but that's okay. Like who cares? Can we sit down? All right, we'll use orange.

Yeah, that's not the color either. I'm really tired. You want a drink? Oh god, that looks like fucking SpongeBob came out. Fuck my wife. So she brings out this orange ball cake. But that's okay, cause they're all laughing and the cake is still delicious and everything. And so, me while Tony is,

God, it's a tough night for Tony, not only does he not get to sleep in, I mean, not only does he not get to go sleep early, but there's like a cake that's circulating around. So it's like carbs and uplifting up late. That's like this worst nightmare. Uh, by the way, Camille's just standing there circulating around. So it's like carbs and uplifting up late. That's like this worst nightmare. By the way, Camille's just standing there in the kitchen eating the cake from the cake. Like she doesn't cut a slice She's eating with a fork from the actual cake. That's trash. While the captain is in there saying Rachel

I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you clean while Camille's fucking eating a cake with a fork. I mean, I can't so Rachel you clean while Camille is fucking eating a cake with a fork. I mean, I can't. So Rachel comes in and he's like, hello, chef. And she's like, how are you? How are you doing? He's like, not happy. The new schedule is filth. It's trash.

It's vulgar trash. So send you like, okay, well, why don't you go to bed? Okay, I'm going to do some dishes. Okay. And hey, Camille, could you start the laundry? Okay, all you got to do is you put things in a box and you press start very simple task. Okay, go do that. Okay, thanks. Oh, so she's mopping, which is crazy. Yeah, like 1 a.m.

Yeah, so then Ben starts doing the anchor watch and he's all pissed off. And then let's see, Alyssa's like, oh my god, you are the most amazing captain. I've never seen a captain mod before. And then Camille's just bitching to herself. She's like, I've got Alyssa telling me to do stuff. I've got the captain telling me to do stuff. We're at three jobs now. Yeah. And so Camilla runs into Alyssa,

and she's like, oh, by the way, Captain Sandy pulled me away to do another couple of jobs. And so Sandy's right there, she goes, just laundry, just some laundry. And Camilla goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, she was just wondering where I was. That's all, and Alyssa goes, um, actually, I didn't say anything.

So, she's like, yeah, but she pulled me away. Just, no, I didn't. I didn't pull you away. And the captain's like, look, I just sent some laundry. Did you do the laundry? Did you put the laundry in? She goes, yes, yes, I did. Ah, some sauce.

Ah, that goes great with pickles. Okay. That's all solved, everybody. God, I'm gonna be able to sleep. So, Camille's like, I wasn't complaining. I was just telling her that because she gets upset when I'm not where I'm supposed to be there. And Alyssa goes, I don't get upset, babe. And Camille goes, that's fine. It's okay to be upset about those types of things. So that's why I said it. And Alyssa goes, uh, forever. The list is getting matched.

Well, she's forever the victim, forever the victims. So now now Camille is crying. And this is all right in front of Captain Sandy, right? This is so funny. All of the part until now is in Captain Disco's, okay. Well, thank you. So Camille's crying now. And she's like, I don't know what's going on.

And Alyssa's bitching like she gets upset when I don't do my job. Where, where, where? So Alyssa then goes up to Captain Sandy. She's like, Captain Sandy, can you help me? I'm having a hard time trying to motivate Camille and she goes, oh, someone wants motivation. Don't you worry, hey, you go to bed. I'll take care of it.

Cause I'm not just Captain Sandy. I'm Captain Motivation. Okay, so I think I'm going to motivate her. That's like telling Harry Blackstone that there's a girl in a wooden box, meeting Saan in half, having me to Saa. I'm going in. So now Camille's like sobbing and cleaning and Lissa. So now, and then Alyssa goes into her room and she starts bitching to Hailey because she's like,

Camille is going slow on purpose. That way she can stay up late and have time with Captain Sandy and bond with her and complain and be like a victim again. Yeah, so Camille's crying and the captain's like, hey, hey, hey, I have a question for you. Do you want to be on this boat? Like yes. Okay. I have a question for you. Do you want to be on this boat? Like yes. Okay, well now I will never ask something of you that I won't do, except do drugs that aren't on the list.

So if I do my job, you're gonna wanna do your job, right? Cause you don't wanna disappoint who? Chairs? No. No. Counties. No. Quarterbacks. No. Closer. Our lady, couches, no. Quarterbacks.

Closer. Our lady, our lady of peace. Nah, you don't want to disappoint me, because of how hard I work, right? Because you're gonna get the same from them, because of how hard you work, right? Okay, put down the bottle of grey goose. Oh, right, sorry, sorry. Okay, you can do this. You can do it, okay, you can do this You can do it, okay? so Alyssa is just now

this furious that like again like Sandy and Camille are bonding and and She's also mad at Captain Sandy because Captain Sandy told her to go to bed So she's just pissed and that's like that's basically with episode ends and then next week Frasier fans it ends with Alyssa downstairs going to bed pissed off and Camille going to bed and Captain Sandy standing there with them up I mean come on but next week it's gonna be I'm excited because next week Frasier finally loses my with Camille he's like he's like that's what you do you want to

super your are you absolutely mental? Yeah, it's like I have to work. It's hard. I like work. And then when there's not that work, there's other work. And he's like, it's cool to having a job, do you knit with? And that's where this one ends. So everyone, thanks for listening.

Godspeed, captain Lee. And, you know, what else to be said? We'll catch you on the next episode. So everyone thanks for listening Godspeed Captain Lee and You know what else to be said we'll catch you in the next episode Bye everybody Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Savoni she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella itch old Dana C Dana do Aaron McNickolas. She don't miss no trickleess She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o He can't have a burger without the burger! You're never alone with Lacey Montellon. Let's give a kiss Arino to Lisa Lino!

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Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wondry's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder app. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app.