Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Down Under: 1 Prop Expedition Edition

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Below Deck Down Under returns for a second season with some familiar faces and a really sad old boat. Whatever mess it's in, it can't be messier than some of these drama queen guests. Let's do this! This week's bonus is a shopping field trip on Amazon Prime Day. Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Watch what! Kids fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

Kids fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast rule that crap we love to talk about on your bros. It's me Ronnie, hi everybody, I'm very red, come on camera. All right, there we go, brightening me back up.

Hi everybody, welcome Ben to the show, hi Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good, what's going on with you baby? Not much, just you know, excited to embark on a new below deck adventure, but not below deck. Capital adventure, a below deck lowercase adventure. Oh, yeah, we were just talking about his adventure coming back. Nobody knows. I don't know.

I've never heard. But who cares? We can't think about that right now because what we do have back, we need to be thankful for. And that is below deck down on. Yeah. No, the reason why I was thinking about below deck adventure is because it kind of felt like below deck down under. It felt like someone told them, hey, listen, below deck adventure may not be coming back.

So we're going to need you to start being the adventure one. So just start saying adventure a lot, okay? One thing we really liked about adventure here at Bravo is adventure. Adventure. They really tried to sell us on the adventure. Welcome to is adventure. Adventure. They really tried to sell us on the adventure. Welcome to VeloDec adventure. Every time I go out on an adventure. It's a different kind of adventure. Well, this is not VeloDec adventure. This is VeloDec down on everybody. We're very excited to be back here. We're also excited to have one of our most annoying impersonations back, which I have to remind

both me and Ben, whenever you do it, please get away from the microphone. I'm a... Hesha! The return of Aesha. Also, I'm sorry I'm fiddling with my lights, but we are crap and it's on demand. As usual, if you'd rather watch videos of this, go to crap ins on demand on our Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what crap ins, or guess where else you could do it. You could watch it on YouTube for free just a week after it's released here on Patreon.

So thanks for being with us, everybody. Let's get into this show, man. Oh my God, let's do it. It feels so how exciting that below deck down under is, you know, starting up here on Bravo, like below deck. It's so funny. Below deck down under N Miami are both making the transition to being like on real deal Bravo for their next seasons, obviously, down under starts started last night. So it's funny that they are like, you know what, we're not gonna make this exclusive

to Peacock anymore. And then Peacock also just raised its prices. Some like, oh, also interesting, raising your prices in the middle of a labor war where these streamers are saying they don't have money and then they raise the prices. Interesting, but anyhow. Well, do you think that's their thinking?

Like, oh, we're gonna raise the prices because these people are going to gouges for getting minimum wage for writing all of our shows or doing whatever. Maybe, but I think they're just raising the prices because they realize, oh, wow, a lot of people like peacock and a lot of people are watching peacock. So we can probably raise the prices. But they seem to not be, they seem to be like going away from the initial like we're going to see if people will watch this stuff on peacock and then nobody did. So now they're making it. Doesn't it seem like that? Like it seems like nobody did and that's why they're moving it to Bravo or what?

What do you think? I don't know. I'm just abandoning that peacock strategy and I don't appreciate it. I've embraced peacock. I love peacock. I don't even want this show to be on Bravo. I don't want the other show to be on Bravo either. I like my no commercial Bravo. I don't know, I don't know what peacock's latest strategy is. I tend to think that Bravo, they were like, we're gonna throw a bone to peacock. We'll just put like blow deck down under on there

and we'll give them Miami and like help peacock out. And then those were both like massively successful. And Bravo's like, wait a second, excuse you. This belongs on our network now. My army is currently, I think, viewed as the best housewives on the air at the moment. And Bravo's like just not going to stand for that. Not having like a, like, you know, a marquee to their marquee franchise is having banner years on peacock. They're like, absolutely not. That's my theory. Okay. Well, I like it.

You know, I'll stick with it. I think that this show, here's my big regret about this whole peacock thing. It does make people disrespected a little, right? Like if it's on peacock. People are like, no, it's just on peacock. I can watch it later. I don't have to watch it right now. Even though technically you can watch literally any of these shows later.

Yeah. But I think that just having on a streaming, it's like, oh, it's a throw away. It's like, oh, it's just a reboot of Miami. Who even cares about that? It was so low rated it got canceled. Who cares about below, Dectown? I mean, it's just another bullet. I care.

This was a really good show. And we were victim to not taking it seriously. And we did not record every episode last season of the first season. And shame on us because we knew it even as it was airing, we're idiots because that was a great season of TV. And I feel bad now that this season's on. I don't know, maybe the new cast is great, maybe they're not, okay? Who knows?

But the last cast was really good. And they deserved more. They deserved more mockery. They deserved more. But also like to be fair, I think we were in the throes of doing below deck Mediterranean. We both played Elden Ring during that time from start to finish both of us during that season. There is no, I don't care if we need to do 20 episodes a week. We should fit in a below deck down on deck. Now not every below deck, but that one. We should have known. We should have seen the special,

the special aura about it. Wow, this is a really beautiful tribute to below deck down under season one. It was actually like a great season, but I also feel like some of the greatness for me was actually being able to watch a below deck season without having to have the pressure of recapping it all the time. So I was able to just to sort of sit and enjoy it, and I was able to turn it on as actually kind of a release from our normal work. So I actually really enjoyed the role of played there. But that being said, I'm totally psyched that we get to recap it here.

Now that's on like proper Bravo, also honestly our schedule was a little bit more high to the last summer for whatever reason. And this summer, like this is perfect, perfect timing for it. A nice like change of pace from below deck sailing. Now we have a boat with an engine that works. Although now this boat has its own,

I don't know, I don't know. Let's not speak too soon. I'm not sure. Did you know by the way, did you know, Ronnie that this boat was built in 1977 and converted into Super Y. I don't know if you heard about that in this episode enough, but just in case you didn't hear it

Well, someone who was born in 1975 I was really fucking depressed. I'm like this boat is younger than me I mean, it's like watching TikTok. I'm like that that's younger than me that's younger than me Like I was literally everything in the world younger than me, okay? And that's how I felt about this boat. It's falling down. It's falling apart You know, they you know,'re going to have to go fix it. And they're going to be like, we don't even sell those parts anymore. I mean, that's how I feel every time I go to get boat talks. I'm like, what can you do about these eyelids? And they're like, you really let it go too far. Like there's nothing we can do except build a tent, build a tent under your fucking eye to hold your

eyelid. Like, what do you want? You waited too long. And that's how I feel about this boat. This is a bad flip. They came into the boat. they just did a cheap interior flip, they didn't fix the kitchen. When you know the kitchen sucks, everything's going to suck, right? I'm going to compare it to house buying. Yeah, I'm concerned about the kitchen. At first I was like, oh, it looks nice. And then I saw how little space she had in that fridge. The fact that she has actually a human apartment kitchen, like human size. Yes. Like if you're not a, it's not like a restaurant,

like not one of those big fridges where, you know, you see Chef Rachel going in and Pyle and let us in. Yeah, or walking in. It was just like literally like, it's like a fridge. It was like a fridge. It's there to sad fridge. It's like when you walk into looking for a house or someone you're dating and you see a kitchen like that,

it's a red flag. So I'm worried. Now here's what I did love about the kitchen. The new, emotionally unstable chef. The chef is gonna have some issues and I cannot wait for her to have issues. I mean, listen, her name is Zarina, but she's also Jewish.

Wasn't the Zara, wasn't that the villain in Filler on the roof? Zara, I think, isn't the Zara always the villain? It's like a king, right? What does the Zara mean? Zara, let's see what that is. But I feel like, well, maybe the Zara, because there's Zara, CZ, and Zara.

The emphasis of Russia before 1917. Yeah. A person appointed by government to advise on and coordinate policy in a particular area. Really? You know where it's going to be hard to coordinate policy from a kitchen like that. Gallic kitchen. Can't do it.

Okay. You can't be named Zarina and they not be able to pass legislation properly when you need to. Don't name your Jewish daughter at the villain of Fiddler on the roof. It's just not going to work out. Hold on. Could you go with Yenta? on the roof. It's just not gonna work out. Could you go with Yenta? Could you go with like, like anything? I'm just calling.

I'm seeing villain and filler on the roof. I'm seeing villain and filler. This is our. This is our. My God. Zarina. Zarina's got to be the Zara's wife. I'm dead. Or like, why? Why? How do I not know?

You're not Jewish. I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish. We know our enemies. We know. We know. We know who wants to round us up and kill us. Well, I'm gay.

I know my enemies. Ariel. All right. So we start with an echo voice of Captain Jason, who by the way, they're really overselling Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's like when people filter their tenders too much and then you see it and then they come on. You're like, you really are. You really are. I've sold this. I thought you were hot already.

Plus you drive a boat. But all those commercials that are like, oh, yeah, sexy pants. I got my sexy back. It's Captain Jason's butt and Captain Jason is sexy. And then he's like, oh, I can't make an egg for anybody. But I'm going to crack a crab for him. I bet in person, he's like, oh, I can't make an egg for anybody. I bet in person, he's like really hot. I can see that.

He's so like hot here. He is hot. I don't know. I'm not a person being really hot. It's just a show I don't wanna have a bone around. It's like a cleaning show. Like our Netflix cleaning show. Like the sparks are joy.

We're seeing people clean. Well, we hear his voice as you're starting to say, and the sparks are joy, you know, watching people clean. Well, we hear his voice, as you're starting to say, and it's echoey, and he goes, this season, season, season, from a captain's point of view, view, view, all I have to look of, after my standards, stand at the scene, I'm like, oh, good, I'm glad you're looking at your standards this season.

Yeah, finally. Someone on a luxury yacht looking up to their, looking to their standards, that's great. And then they're in a place that they call can. And I was like, can, you know, I'm smart with geography, but I was like, I don't think that's where can is. Why is this show lying to me?

And it's spelled, C-A-R-N-S, Australia. And I like it because it's like there, it's like how you would think that they would spell Karen. Like, hello, can, can is can there. And and I like I like below deck Carons just everybody on below deck being a Karen. I like the idea of that I I just like that this is below deck down under they're like well

We're not in the Mediterranean, so we'll just go to a place that sounds like it's in the Mediterranean It's called can but guess what it's in the Mediterranean. It's called Can, but guess what? It's pronounced spelled Carons. Welcome to the Can Film Festival, where only movies shown about ladies complaining to the store manager are accepted. At the Can Film Festival, not so be mistaken with the Can Film Festival, the Can Film Festival, it's just movies directed by kangaroos, that pulled crocodile Don D, what happened later? This one, five complaints to the complaints to customer service awards.

Karen Don D. Cam. That's not a complaint, this is a complaint. Also, sorry, Linda Koalziak. So he says he's going to look after his standards. Why am I the color of the NS Osage today? You're so weird. You're sunburned. You know, the ozone layer is thinner in Australia.

So you just, I think you've just spent, you've got to protect yourself, Ronnie, when we broadcast your from Australia. I, and people don't know for people who are not watching Grappas on demand. One thing you may not realize is that I am actually broadcasting from the bottom of the Great Barrier Reef. So it's a miracle that I'm even able to record into these pressures. It really is. You're a hero. So after he says I have to look after my standards, then we just see someone falling off a boat backwards. And I was like, was that your standards? So I'm just falling off backwards.

Because I think you're already failing, okay? Yeah. So we just sort of get, we get the trailer for the season, the whole trailer. I don't know. We don't, I, I, I, I, I know that a few little things in it, but, you know, it's, it's the trailer. So I think we could just sort of move on. Unless there was something interesting in the trailer.

Do you remember this? Did we could do a trailer trash of this? I don't think we did just sort of move on. Also, something interesting in the trailer. What? Did we could do a trailer trash of this? I don't think we did. Or a trailer. Did we? I don't remember what we have or haven't done trailers. Did we do one for New York? For real housewives as we did?

God, I don't even remember. Isn't that crazy? Okay. So, okay. I got to remember June like erased everything in my brain. So, you know. So we see nice music, we hear nice music, we didn't see it, we heard it. And then we see lots of beautiful choral. And then we hear

the choral was beautiful until human beings came along and ruined it. Now the choral are murdered, welcome to below-deck murdered coil. I know, this is, they're like, look at the great barrier reef. Now let's send our giant yacht over it, using oil and human debris. I know, especially after the last below deck, where we see what happens to the ocean,

when anything goes wrong on the boat. And we're just like spewing gas out of the boat. Right. Hey, you know what? We didn't get the engine rebuilt yet. So let's just run that engine with oil spurting directly into the ocean for about five hours. What that smoke burn off.

It's all the fish are like fish CNN has got urgent news. It's like it's like when we report about wildfires coming in, like smoke from Canada, coming into like New York City, you know, that's like the news report for the fish town that they're like, there's a yacht, and it's rooting everything, get out. It's like our version of Chilsa Hernandez on Bethany's podcast.

Oh yeah, I just saw that. Weird, right? I just heard one clip that Danny Pellegrino posted. Hi Danny, I love you. I know you're just listening to every word of this. He posted a clip that was from the Bethany Show, and it's Jill, like, oh, I remember we were on a plane. We were on a plane together.

I remember the plane very clearly, great plane, very smooth, very private. I knew it because I had it because I knew share. So we were on the plane, and I remember you looked at me and you said, you know what, Jill, when I have $2 million, I'm gonna take you on a plane. And I thought to myself recently, does she remember?

Does she remember? And Bethany's like, Sarah say, Sarah say, like I didn't even have $2 million when I knew you, when we were friends, but now I do. So you know what, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it now, because I'm right. I'm gonna put you on a plane. I'll put you on the, this is a crisis plane.

I'm gonna send you to Puerto Rico, and I'm gonna leave you there. The B you on the plane. I'll put you on the, this is the crisis plan. I'm going to send you to Puerto Rico and I'll leave you there. The B strong plane. Yeah. Just dump instead of this car. It's just going to start dumping Jill out. I know. Jill's an ambassador.

Jill, she's going to send Jill to national disasters arms and she's just going to walk in and go, all right, you know what you need today? You need to clean that up. That's ridiculous. Do we really need this on the floor? Ha. She's ridiculous. So we really need this on the floor. She's gonna donate that Zaryn Fabrics to everyone. Well, who needs paper towels when you've got Zaryn Fabrics?

So Jason is on this boat. He gets on. He's looking at the schematics and he's like, well, this will be very interesting. Only one prop, very nostalgic. So we already know this a piece of shit boat. I'm like, we just got through parts of it. I'm just really want like a beautiful functioning boat. I think we've actually had a run of terrible boats, right? We had parts of it was a piece of shit. And then Captain Sandy's boat last year had that weird, it was like that smart boat that was like not smart at all. And like the air conditioning was tied to the like the stabilizer. She's getting bad. Next year they're just gonna be on one of the old boats

from 20,000 leagues under the sea. They'll just be on a junk. So probably the best. He just keeps saying props over and over. He's like, oh my God, there's no props. Normally a boat has a prop here and a prop there and a prop here and a prop there. So he's going about that.

And then we just hear from the distance. Aisha, like the opening of Beauty and the Beast. Hello, hello, your coldest. I love your boat. It's an open, I love you, don't fear, I'm fucking. Oh, I'm your boat. It's an open air. I love you, don't be a fuck you. I'm so excited to see. It's like, why are this is amazing? She's like, we should go to the bridge runway and I would expedition baby. Well, it's a 1970s-70s-a-ven converted fishing troll. Eeeeee!

That's roller! This is very grand. It's like an old explosion. And there's all these boats inside glass aquarium things, you know, like showcase model boats or whatever. It's like a museum. Yeah, so she compliments those. It's like a long time silver kind of.

And no, I've read lobster from back in the day when I liked it actually. I like that touch. I just imagine someone's pop-on there. Like no one's ever taken my boat away from me. This is where I'm retired and it's where I'm gonna do my boat puzzles. And then pop-on dies.

And I like rent that spit-out sweat bat. That's nice to money. It's a sassy grandchild. I'm sad of that. Every time someone moves by the boat, Papa's like, you better watch it. No. So Jason tells us Northern Sun is a 1977 Japanese fishing vessel that's been converted to a luxury fishing yacht. It's got a massive dive like a forward toy storage, two fenders fully set up and a hot plate for all the

meals. Yeah, exactly. This season we're in Khan, the foothills of the most spectacular underwater seascape you've ever seen, and that voice he really sells at every time he experiences very like Robin Le Lane's and now it's the best girl you've ever seen. So they're going over CVs and he's like oh these two artists look great and she's like oh this one was a chiefs dude that's so great. He's like in Margo she's not going to be here for a couple of days. Oh, no! Ace of Pikachu. And he's like, then she'll fly in from another charter.

And she's like, I'm just so excited to be here. I just want to smash out the first charter. And then this season, no one's's gonna walk all over me I'm gonna be a tough bitch. Well a tough air bitch. Oh, I'm gonna be more direct I don't know if it's quite in me to be a bitch So Some guy comes and he's like I'm excited to go on expedition just don't know about the whole wind in weather Who's this guy? He's like, this is Luke. He's like, looks like we're going on an expedition,

because expedition is the new adventure. Oh, is this an expedition vessel? Looks like we're going to have an expedition. Perfect for exploration. Oh, I love exploration. You know what I like more than exploration? Expedition. It's time for commercial. It's time for a captain and he's like captain. Wow, I love the strong handshake there. And he's like, this is an all converted vessel. Even the boat, the age and the single screws and single props and whatever, it's going

to be very hard to drive. Have I mentioned the props? Would you like a good conversation about props? Let's do it right by this little model boat here. You better get the fuck away from a boat, my boat. Sorry there's a there's a there happens to be a ghost grandpa over by the vessels there, but you might not realize this, but we are actually in an old converted 1977 vessel. Yes, actually, I think you said it already. Oh, did I? Okay. Sorry about that. Just want to make sure you knew we were

in an old converted 1977 fishing trailer. One prop. So is this for a... Sorry, this is expedition. It's expedition. So Jason, then we got the Jason, he goes, well, single-screw variable pitch 1970 safe and you don't get many of them. I'm like I get it. It's from 1977. I get it Literally can't but you know Bravo knows that this is the show that the straight guys watch like all the husbands watch below deck That's how they keep that they keep the men the husband's happy with broth Occasionally, so they just got to put that stuff in there for the guys Well, a poor Hey, everybody checked the torque.

What's the torque on that prop? Well, the poor wives who are like in the morning, like, yeah, you know, honey, before you, you know, you fell asleep before a below deck came on, but they have a, they have a 1977 fishing troll that they converted into a luxury yachts, but good for expedition. Holy shit, that one for expedition.

Yeah, I was like, yeah, I know I actually was awake. So the guys high five, because you know, it's expedition. And Jason tells us, luckily I like a challenge because I've got one. It's a converted fishing vessel. I didn't really make that. It's a converted fishing vessel. And they modernized the interior for the guests, but not for me. It's like vintage car. It's going to take everything I've learned over 25 years to drive this.

And I'm at Kans where I like crashing both, apparently. And then this is like his Theresa table flipping footage where they any chance they get there will show the footage of this yacht. Him crashing a yacht onto the dock like speed two. And honestly, I love it. Every time it's a cool time they show it, I I crack up. Yeah it is really good because then they also show the news clip of him talking about it on the news and he's so cute and he's like yeah you know I'm sorry to interrupt dinner everybody. Thanks for coming. But you know things happen and about happening to crash into your restaurant deal with it. What am I gonna say? Hey

do you mind if I have a piece of that shrimp there? I'm getting off the... So it's like flat meant to the table. He's just taking somewhere there scampy. It's like, hey, let's give the guy who famously crashed a yacht that made international news. Let's give him a boat that has only one prop and like no one knows how to drive it anywhere. Let's see how he works a stick shift. Yeah, it's a stick shift boat. That's why I said to Dom works the stick shift. Yeah, it's a stick shift boat. That's why I said to Domlas, and I was like, this is a stick shift boat.

So next up is Zarina. And she's like, hello, hello, Shephy. I've gotten upside triangle on my back. And a something of just zero ox that the local Fedex can goes. It is a picture of a man with a long beard a funny hat Who occasionally sings if I were a rich man over and over again?

Dadle little little dadle little little little do Sorry, this is the beard and of being raised known as Sarina So Jason's like she's just the old the lymph from from Findler on the roof, reencarinated. She's still looking for tabia. Still looking for tabia. I didn't mind if I inspect the roof of this vessel before we go any further. So Jason's like, well, you've got a nice little CV there. Just do you think it's like, yeah, it looks like you've

done some stuff here. You're pretty to this and so then she tells us, hey but what described me is we had and we see a photo of her as like a teenager trying to like get cast in a Tim Burton movie or something. I mean they're so weird as picture you could possibly show up her. It's like her hair is all big and her face is just like cool. Um, and so it was difficult. I'm with the private Christian schools, a bisexual Jewish woman. Oh, I just used to sit fire at everything. I was fascinated with it. So I went a little thrills with that.

Oh, I've just called my mother said, she have to do something. So I'm going to shift school and I was good at it. And I was way up on shift now and I'm 30. And I'm still doing it and I was good at it. And I was way more shift now and I'm 30 and I'm still doing it 30 bloody driving Just like to match. I'm like get the good get this girl away from this boat. Can we not need a fucking fire starter? I know all boats the boat is made of wood That's what I was saying also I was like this is not what I want to hear before we get on to a seafaring vessel

the cabin So I was like, this is not what I want to hear before I get onto a seafaring vessel. The captain who's driving it has a history of crashing boats in this region and also doesn't know how to drive it and the chef likes to just light arbitrary things on fire. Get me off this thing. Who shows really good with casting? Who, so do you think all the different shows must, I mean, I know they have all different production crews but is casting like one big central thing

because I think this show is one of the best at casting. I mean, this show's amazing. I actually have always been fascinated by how this show is cast. I am always wondering what percentage pertains to like how good they are as reality stars and what percentage pertains to like, oh, you know, like are you a yacht who is available, you know?

So I'd like to get to the bottom of that someday and report back me to Okay, so me should meet me. I'm me. So aisha meets her and H.ha meets her. I sure it what do you say? It's aisha is a shot I always say aisha. Why do I say it? Aisha? It's aisha because the because the terrible terrible guest later on call her aisha Are you sure? Oh, maybe that's why it's second, my head. A-sha, I've only recapped her for four seasons. I'm really having that in that time. So she meets Serena, and she's like,

How are you feeling? And Serena's like, it's okay. I'm okay, but I lost my suitcase. Like you lost it, or you started it on fire. Tell me that. That's your perjure on fire. She caught the Sydney International Airport. They're like, there's a fire.

TGI wallabies. They try to make me take my water out of my bag. So I started it on fire and I put it through the belt. It's just in the Sydney Opera House. Has burned down, no one knows who it is, but we did see it. We saw someone leaving while humming tradition. So the worst kind of, the worst kind of pyramaniac is someone who's a pyramaniac and hums Fiddler on the roof. So she's like, you made the captain

right. And she's like, yeah, Jesus, like, climb that Nakatriye, tree's been. So then we go to a new girl, and Aisha takes her face and she just looks at her and she's like, you're my new second arm, Q. Oh. She like hugged, she like, Aisha greets her like,

she is like this woman's foster mother now. She's like, welcome to my house, you'll be safe here. Come on in. I've loved to pin pal letters for years now. Would you like a warm meal? So this is Laura. Laura from Latvia. And Luke, Luke and Laura.

Luke is like, say where you're from. And Laura is like Latvia. I don't expect you. Say where you're from and Laura's like, Latvia, I don't expect you to know where it is and he's like, and it starts really goes, oh, because you're apparently very stupid, just saying that in terms of the minds. Luke's like, yeah, I'm a commander, ain't I? And he's like, I'm a massive flirt,

like, wait too much, I don't mean to do it, I just do. Hey, go at ladies. I'm asleep, make I could call into go. What about that? I was like, that's only working like as you claw onto your 30s, okay? Because in a few more years, they're gonna report you to HR.

Okay. Exactly. Look at this shell, it's the OG shower. We should also mention the crew quarters are like huge on this boat, which I was like, that's why I got excited. I was like, this is nice, it's room for everyone, but no, there's not the kitchen's terrible.

And it has one prop and we'll probably sink halfway through the season. So, his flirting creates crew morale, so problem. I see problem. He looks very smiling, very nice. And the first impression I'm getting of him is lovely. And I'm pretty judgmental, like I don't say that often. He seems lovely. I'm a little worried

I just feel like I've learned to follow below deck signs enough to know danger danger ahead Yeah, I would say danger although he seems less disgusting than other other Flirty types, you know Gary. So it's kind of like a nerdy type who's trying to be a Gary type to me. What do you think? That's my thing. I just think that like compared the last few disgusting types like Gary and Ross, I think Luke so far seems like he's the least offensive of them, but you know, things change over season. Yeah, you know what? Let the flower bloom. Yeah, so now Adam comes on board and Adam's,

he's from Brooklyn and he's been the third made on cargo ships. And he says, you know, in high school, I had really bad grades. By the way, this is like the, you know how like top chef has certain back stories. This is also the back story on like almost everyone on below deck. It's like in high school, I hated school.

I killed my teacher. I hated what I was doing. And I was trying to burn down the schoolhouse. I took a chain saw to the field goal post on the football team. So then I found yawning and I saved my life. So that's basically the sky teacher. It is like that is the back story here. It's like, yeah, I got to add a prison, you know, and then I started killing squirrels. But then I thought, you know what, I could make more money on a cargo ship. So I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, I hated grades. I hated the establishment. I hated, I didn't want to go to college.

You know, I was living in a gutter and I thought, hey, you know what I want to do? I want to wait on people in high-end luxury scenarios. You know, also there seems to be like a fairy godmother for service people who finds all these broken people is like you should get into service I think it's like there's a fairy godmother who's like listen this the floors need to be swept go go to a gutter somewhere And she just appears in a big you like your name is Norma and soup like a Campbell's pumpkin soup can and she's just comes out of it She's like I've got somewhere for you to sweep my little love. It is kind of funny. If you look at Top Chef and you look at Blow Deck, there are so many people on Top Chef and Blow Deck

who their back story is very similar. I was on drugs or I hated school, wasn't good at school. I didn't like discipline. I didn't like structure. I didn't want to do what everyone said I should do. And then the only thing only thing that made me happy was cooking the only thing that made me happy was yawning That's kind of funny because it's like yeah, I'm a rebel I don't I don't want to do what everyone does but you're just like but I'm gonna put myself in server to you to very wealthy people That was me that was me growing up to you. I was just like that. I was like I don't have to do anything

I don't have to go to high school. I don't have to go to PE. I can do whatever the fuck I want. I don't have to live here. Fuck you, man. I'm not moving out at 16. Like I was crazy like that. And then I, I need to go to college. Fuck that. What do I need that for?

Everybody I'm in community theater with is in college. They're not doing shit. What do I need college? Then I was a waiter until I was 40. You know, it's like, you're like in servitude. You're like your front line servitude and you have to actually act on such a high, what's the word?

You have to perform on such a high level. You have to actually be super play and super mad and it's just such a funny. It's funny because I thought of that while I was doing, when I was doing it and I loved waiting tables I really of that while I was doing it, and I loved waiting tables I really did. And when I was doing it, I would think that's so funny

because the whole reason I'm doing this is because I'm so rebellious. And I want to tell these people to fuck off, but I literally can't because I want to be good at this job. It is. You have to actually come here. You're making it.

Yeah, you have to actually become your most instance yourself. And like I feel like, yeah, I'm gonna be real. I'm gonna be a rebel on real and it's like anything you want sir. Yes, anything you need well I like to look at it is you do have to learn to you don't learn to become insincere you learn to become sincerely Open and caring kind to people and really want to take care of That's a nice that's nice. I'm not dissing the service industry at all I'm just saying I think it's very funny how's nice. I'm not dishing the service industry at all. I'm just saying, I think it's very funny how you see this story, this backstory all the time. It's like people rebelling in construction and then winding up in actually like a very hierarchical situation.

And then you got like some restaurant manager, whatever, whoever who's just a fucking nightmare on your ass forever that you have to suck it up to every day. And it's like, oh my god, I should have been nicer to my mother. Don't tell her I said that though. Okay, so he's like, yeah, I didn't take school too serious. My guidance pooled, my guidance counselor pulled me, I was like, you didn't take it too serious, really? I would, I never would have guessed. My guidance counselor pulled me into his office and was like, what do you plan to have to high school? And I was like, you didn't take it too serious, really? I would, I never would have guessed. My guidance counselor pulled me into his office and was like, what do you plan to have to high school?

And I was like, I don't know. I'm probably gonna walk around the street snapping my finger trying to find a shock to fight. Seriously, he's definitely giving off that energy. And then he said, well, my guidance counselor helped me get into maritime school, so I did that. And I graduated, and now I'm, you know, a maritime person.

So Luke is like, will my fist job was on a commercial boat? Strong to get, oh no, this is how I'm still, I don't know why. So he says, my fist job was on a commercial boat. Just trying to get from point A to point B. And, you know, I'm pretty new to Yachton. And I'm grateful just to be here because everyone's my age and I can have a little bit more fun at work. I was like, okay, you're gonna fall into many traps.

You'll be a terrible worker. Yeah, but you know what, those cargo ship sound terrible. They sound like we're, I don't know, like where Dexter was hiding after he ran away from Dexter. You know, they don't sound fun. Everyone who comes out of the cargo ship, Arena, is like, I'm so glad to be around people. You know, like, last time on deck. Good for job. We had kicked man Mike. But I got a ship. Mark from like, I'll go ship

home. So Zarina is going through her kitchen and she's like, come on, God, we need provisions on board. Hey, it's like we have Tix Road show in here. That would be kind of funny. Um, and then now we have a new deck hand, Harry and his very, very tall. And so he comes on board. And then, uh, Aisha's asking Zarina about how the galley is for her and Zarina is basically like, well, there's not a lot of prep, prep area or space. So when you say hello, it's going to have to be just a little shorter. It's just not an even enough room for your halos and you're See even that's too long. You just go to a quick. Oh, that's it. None of air. We could have gotten appetizers at Dairy mat

so Harry is Very nice and very tall and has a very strong back. He's got a lot of back strength because he is carrying one of those hiking backpacks It's like as big as a person, you know on his back. Yeah, it's like the lady from Labyrinth, the one with the pack rat lady from Labyrinth. I'm afraid you did that. She's like, for my vacant, for my birthday, let's go backpacking and she pulled Trisha, she pulled that thing out, and I was like, fuck you by. I've never done that with you. So he's like, my brother owned a syndicate company. That's who I work for in Sydney. We get to see these amazing places in party.

What's the amazing place? So it's what's better than that. Oh, he's so happy. Yeah, he'll be crushed. And no, he's just talking to Zarina. Look, I'm calling you right now. How great. All the happy ones cry.

Sorry, man, go ahead. No, it's fine. He will cry. So he's just talking to Zarina about working together and Zaryn was like, I didn't know it's her age in my voice. So if it's not a guest requesting something or a provision, I do tend to get a bit pissed off. I'm like, okay, so you, that means you will raise your voice

and you'll do it many, many, many times. Yeah, there was a butt in there. I like to get pissed off, but. And Asha knows it. She's just like, yeah. And so she likes it. She's at least being open. So she's like, this is not my baby to have a chef. I can just talk to you.

It's not just good night, shit in my face. And then we see clips of that evil Ryan Adam for last year. Those Ryan and he is just like one of the most miserable pieces of shit who's ever been on the show and this is this is a series of franchise that has had so many pieces of shit and he is really one of the worst. Oh, he was terrible. So look how bad Adam was that I automatically wrote Adam because Adam was bad. A little guy shesco Adam was pretty bad too. Adam was bad but Ryan was really down. I think like Ryan, the worst one.

Probably the worst one was what's her face? The one who clearly faked her CV to get on the show. Oh the Miele. Russian Laney. The Miele. Like she had no business. Like she did not belong, she faked her resume.

That was one of the craziest things of all time. But personality was, and she was also anti gay and like pro-poutant. She was really, she was really had of so many trends in real life. Yeah. She really was something that one. Remember, then they had to bring on the lady

from the yacht next door, wasn't that the one? Dushka. They had to bring on Dushka the yacht next door. Wasn't that the one? That's the one. They had to bring out. Dushka. Dushka. One of the had to bring out on Dushka because Matt, who was also terrible on Mediterranean, he freaked out. He's like, he can't be on this yacht anymore. And so Dushka came on and like, I don't remember where that was.

Got there so many below, Matt. Dushka. This is crazy. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. Okay, so anyway, Chef Ryan and we see a clip of him where he's like, so many y'all,

so many work done. And he's like, I don't know how many vacuums that you pushed, how many frying pans that you flip, huh? You stick to vacuums and I'll stick to. Cookin', I was like, oh, yeah. That's crazy. I still got a, How many frying pan do you flip, huh? You stick to vacuums and I'll stick to cook and I was like oh

Yeah, that's pretty I see he's still got a from me That guy is probably at home right now watching the bear and jerking off into his face. Yeah, this is the real shit, bro You know he is so He's like probably actively mad that is not on on the bear. He's like, I should be on that show I really should have had to make a Chicago meat sandwich. So, um, now, uh, so a deck hand one of the deck hands The third deck hand will not be joining us because their visa was not approved for Australia Which makes me wonder what the heck is going on with that deck and who was it? What is this with below deck?

Do they have like three days of pre-production on below decks? Because what the fuck? You wouldn't check your employees visa until the day of the charter. Was it OJ Simpson? What's going on here? You know what's happening. It's like last season when the boat just didn't work.

And they were like, oh, here we go. Although Captain Glenn said on the reunion that they did check that the boat just made a cross seat, cross, who cares, they made a crossing, so they thought it worked, and then Colin was testing the engine, and that's when they found it was broken, and blah, blah, blah, blah, but still, like it's broken on the first day,

come on, below decks. I know, because Captain Glenn said, well, actually Colin was doing the check. That's the whole point of it. And if you had, if we waited for the first day of the boat, like, I'm like, no, the point is to do the check before cameras roll. Not once the show begins. Yeah. But I think that their budgets just like, you know, below deck budgets. Well, they keep changing. Everybody every year. They, they're like, you get minimum wage plus you get minimum wage, plus

you get to be on TV every single day for the rest of your life with your mistakes repeated over and over again and people on the internet call you a fucking asshole until you're 90 years old for about $10 an hour. Okay. Also, we have no money. We have no money. Sorry, we're just like part of the glamour. We have no money. Sorry. Sorry. I would actually, I I would love it. Actually, I would honestly love it if that's what the Union

negotiator is on behalf of the producers. Sorry, we just don't have, that's just Brynn from Rony. Sorry, we just don't have the money for the actors and the writers. Sorry. Well, good. So you can go up against Fran Drescher at the head of Sad. I am in search of things.

Thank you. Thank you. What an amazing world we live in. Where Fram Dresher is like, is our, is our spokesperson. Yeah, it's great. So well, not mine. I'm not union or all. You will be soon enough. Well, thanks for your belief in me, being. I'll do.

I'll do. So, could you imagine podcast union? good Lord, God help us all. I'd be like, I demand fresh a coffee. This was terrible. Oh my God, if there was a podcast union, and we had to negotiate anything, it would be like, we would win always because we would out-talk the other side. The other side would just be sitting there,

and we'd be like, you guys mind if we record this, we'd just spread our microphones, and we'd be talking, and we'd be like, guys mind if we record this we just spread on microphones I would be talking and be like so this morning I got some coffee on the wigs on this arbitration You know what I'd like about coffee. No, but go on tell me. I just love how it just perks you up me too Oh my god that president is so annoying. Why does she talk like that? It's like the most fucking annoying voice I've ever heard like I get it you were on a sitcom 20 years ago. Could you get a different voice? You're an act I can hear you I'm right here Sorry, we're recapping this so please Talk about you are we gonna go shooting against after a NASA aftra well, I don't know

I'm gonna realize with them. I know that I think they man he she's Negotiating for sex so she'd want better deals for actors and podcasters. She'd be like, Why am I getting better at helping sharing things? How would they do? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, friend Dresher, you sound a music rip off. Come for me, come for me, friend. The point is, is that she brought in a broader top and a broader end queen

when a boyfriend kicked her out and one of those crushing sings. Honestly, this is awesome. We really would solve this whole thing. If Ron and I were there, just like we just go in, and like, because honestly, I would just go up to Netflix and be like, listen, you have 230 million subscribers, and you charge $15 a month to most of them.

That is literally like $3 billion a month. Relax, just pay some people. You got the money, you got the money, okay? Just do it. No one pays something, no one pays unless you have to pay those pay-by pays you go whatever whatever people have that are like you just donate You they make like five dollars at the end of the night and they spend like twenty dollars on the free cookies that they're passing around You know those stuff that just doesn't work you have to have rules like about we've got to take yawning seriously So Harry and Ryan, wait, who is

it? Harry and Adam? Adam's the Brooklyn guy. So Harry and Adam meet. And Harry met Adam. I will call her shit. Yeah, they meet. And then Jason is texting the yacht staffing. He gave Norma and saying, and he's like trying to get a new decan. And then Jason, is this what your, oh Jason's, I guess he's having a crew meeting, sorry. Everyone, welcome to Northern Son, the weather's a bit strong up here, but that's nothing new. I'll tell you what else isn't new. There's boat, 1977 expedition, flip a floor, picking on Zion. One prop here, one prop we're working with people. All right, might as well be on a bicycle on the ocean.

All right, let's be respectful of each other. There's zero drinking on charter, whenever guests are in the water, I like a member close by then. We have a humbly older crew, you'll never see again, dime of lad and David, show your humbly faces,

get the fuck outta here, all right? Lock yourselves in the crepes until the cameras's down. We got a second and chief engineer and a first officer that we just took from nightclub and Romania. They were meaning the door and we said, why don't you come on this yacht instead? So here they are, they look a little silly.

That's just because old habits are hard. Those guys, that trio of guys were terrifying. They were sitting there with their arms crossed, like, yeah, you want to fuck with me. You want to fuck with me. This is a one prop boat, okay? Does, you know what, the second prop is? It's my fist in your fist.

So, it says like, wait a minute, we're down to pay board. And he's like, yeah, one was gonna be a dick can but can make it. So we're finding a replacement. Now we've got trotted tomorrow at 12. Let's go, let's go, let's go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Now I would sit here and give you props, but as you know, there's only one prop on the boat. So get on. So, so now we're going to be doing a lot of pantomiming on this boat because there's only one prop and I'm using it. Yeah, alright. Unfortunately, answering a phone isn't using your fingers out like the Hangtonsign.

It is actually holding a telephone. Alright, you're holding a telephone. That's right, and now for the on-kid, the new kids, it's actually just putting your hand to your face like this because they don't even know understand about this minds. Oh, so I'll film with the popsicle. Look at that. All right. All right. So bad news. Good news. Carrot top was just on here. Bad news. You took all the props. All right. So let's get to it. So Zarina is ordering provisions and knives and then Luke is checking out the sea bobs

and for some reason they're like, this is what a sea bobb is. This is what electric surfboard is. This is what a wave is. This is what the sky is. So they gave us a little tour of that. Then we see Zarina ordering stuff for herself from provisions, but she's ordering Chefknife,

tweezers, a pastry knife. I'm like, oh, because she doesn't have her suitcase. It doesn't for bag. What is wrong with me? Like, it's seriously in show time. It happened two minutes ago. And I'm like, God damn it. By the way, how are we 40?

I mean, we need to see. Oh, my God. We're 45 minutes into this. Yes. Because I'm talking about stupid things. It's a friend, Dresher, and labor negotiations. That's my fault. All right.

So we're in Cannes, okay, here comes Harry, who says, we're in Cannes, I don't even know how to speak, I just know he has an accent. We're in Cannes on a super yacht, refurbished. 1977 expedition in the Great Barrier Reef, and this is the dream job for me, because growing up, I didn't play sports. I was like ceiling and doing scary, since surfing as a kid kid at Michael and Yarding as there'd be the captain of a boat

that goes places. And adventure boat. I got it all planned out on the high seas. I'm like what musical are you doing here sir? He is like the sweetest, smileiest guy and I love that his deep dark secret like his bad back story is. I didn't get to play sports as a child because I was on boats and in scouts and on the wind. All right Harry you go boy. So then we got to boat that goes places. So then we go to meet Luke. Er, it talks to Luke. We get his story and he's telling the guys all right. So I'm not one of those that want you to bath or boss you around all right. I've got a big dick in real life. Don't need the big dick you ran. Everybody get it. I love flirting, not necessarily

flirting with you, but love talking about it. Let's be one of sports based. Let's have fun, man. You know, I've been boating for two years and when I was just recently promoted to second officer, I hated it. I was just on a computer all day like, uh, boring, post and Sebastian gig. No one to flirt with second officer. They didn't really like it when I spent that whole day looking at internet porn so here I am, babes in the game. Exactly. So now, it's a job where you can flirt all you want but no one flirts back with you as you fat. So it's just looking at Laura C.V. She's like, oh, I see it here that you are passionate about themes.

Edges is like, yes, I'm event organizer. I love tables. I like everything. All these, all table things. Well, I'm gonna preach you on decor. What's I like to call it? decor. I'm so fucking lootly.

Before yachting, I run my restaurant in Barcelona one table restaurant it's gold. I was like, that's some awkward branding because I feel like if we ever said, Hey, man, you want to go to one table? You'd be like, I don't think we're going to be able to get it. I don't think she's trying to create scarcity, which I appreciate. That's an interesting business model, but that's a lot of scarcity. One table.

You just cannot, you can't name a restaurant. There's no room for you. Also because she she's like, but then Gov'd up and then it was all ruined. I'm like, well, you've only got one table. Just put it outside, right? I don't know. So you've got one table. Come on.

How much could the rent be? I've got this one table and this one life. Okay, Sally Field, we get it. Mm-hmm. So, oh, you've also been a true steer. So I just want you to remember, if I correct you, it's nothing personal. And Laura says, well, I do it my way and do my best. And we'll see how that works.

I'm like, so that means you're not going to listen to what Asha says. Got it. And Asha is not listening to a thing that anybody's telling her, because this is the second person now who's been like, fuck you to her face. Yeah. Because the chef is like, I don't want to get angry, but what do I do? And she's like, oh, I love a chef that communicates emotions. And then this girl's like, I do what I like. You'll tell me if you like.

And she's like, oh, I've been graced with such a great secret. Which is great energy just seems capable You know by the end of season Laura's gonna have deem of Vlad and David on her side be like you cannot talk to Laura that way So you just know it So you just know it. It's like Communist blocks unite. So provisions have arrived and Adam asks Harry, hey, so if you have a man you want from New York before and Harry's like, never, Statue of Liberty is there, right?

And he's like, it is. And the Golden Gate Bridge too. Nope. And Great Wall of China, right? Nope. And Great Wall of China, Roy. Nope. That's literally called China, bro. The Great Fiery Arifa here is there. We're literally on top of the Great Barrier Rift.

We're in New York, Roy. Okay, this man. This is a shame. Toronto Townsay, right? All right, you lucked into that one. You lucked into that one. Some bullshit. So, the Grand Dresherchers, they are right.

So, the captain goes down to the galley to check on Serena. And he's like, all good here. And she's like, Oh, a bit worried about space here. He's like, you are. She goes, yeah, look around. So, he's like, wow, she really has a work cut out here.

This is an old vessel. One of that. Wait, wait, what? I don't know that. Is a convert old vessel. It's like, unfortunately, when they did the refit, they didn't think about the galley, all the prop. Yeah, it was, I would say they did a proper good job, but unfortunately, I can only give

them a say they did a proper good job. So, as everything is, I can only give them say that did a proper good job. So as I've been as I can't my eye so hot. And then now it's evening and Aisha is asking her to help vacuum and then there's a preface meeting. So Carmen, she's the CEO of her own PR firm and other friends work in, wait for it, investment in real estate firms. Never seen that on Blodic before. So she's she's bringing her best friend, Brand-in. And she wants to be greeted with a lemon drop martini champagne for her guests.

And Crystal doesn't drink, so she'll need a cocktail. I'm so grateful. Already, I'm like, oh, here we go. Okay. Who orders welcome drinks, especially? Is that a thing that people do? Don't you just get champagne? I'm actually on the boat. I'm actually on the boat. Yeah Don't you just get champagne? I'm a happy champagne.

I'm a happy champagne. Yeah. You know what I'm just kidding about? Just get on the boat. So Asha says, the number of times I've had people say that they don't drink and then they're vegan and then I would lay it at their swimming and mate. I mean, they never stick with the whole trip.

It's serenering. Really, it's true. And Jason's like, all right, they want to go see Helmet diving. One guest has to find dining. One guest wants a food find dining. See food extravaganza, night to move on Rouge, crew for some crew must form a cam cam dance line. All right, you know what? Wait, hold on a second. I have there is one. Uh, semi twink request to be eaten by a shark by the end of night. One, can we make that happen? So my twink, aged out twink, post twink would like a line to be eaten by some of our

jellyfish in the middle of the night. Uh, 11, the middle of the night. 11 a.t. 11 after twink. Requests death by octopus. Okay, ketamine, ketamine requests to have a baby crack in the soil mop at midnight. Oh, God. Okay. So, um, serena is like, this could be a really big disaster, you know. Don't, don't. So then we go to cleaning, charting. Serena is talking about how she's dyslexic and so it takes her a long time to go through preferences and she's getting worried because and so it takes her a long time to go through preferences

and she's getting worried because it's taking her so much time. She's going through with a marker and she's like, going through preferences, I don't just get through them. I want to really get into that person's mind and I want to understand that personality and I want to get a mindset where we're going to do sushi,

sushi that you start on fire and then you cook it and then become say food extravagance. It's going to be crazy. So now it's bedtime. Asia offers zarminess, some of her clothes, whatever it's nice. And that's the morning. And people are waking up and then Luke is talking to Laura. I'm going to laugh every time it's Luke and Laura and Luke says, say how long have you been

out of Latvia for? She's 12 years. Oh, what made you leave Latvia? What? Latvia made me leave. I know the feeling, honey. I'm not talking to you, Sabrina. So Laura's like, Latvia got independence from Russia only 28 years ago and so it's still

young. And we're used to being commoners. Everybody had same clothes, same furniture. When I was a girl, I said, this is too small for me. So when I was 18, I packed my bags, I left, and now I'm in a place where we all have the same clothes, the same furniture, the timey little bits. It's impossible that Laura is a lot of you in princess and that deem of lad and David

or just like her protectors from the palace. Yeah, because I've recovered. The camera showed, they haven't showed the three randos in seasons. Like we haven't seen them for so long. And the way these guys are like so serious, their arms cross, I'm like, these are bodyguards. These are bodyguards for a lot of you in prison. We in prison possess here. Like I think that's pretty good. We shall

be part of your world. So now it's more cleaning. Um, Jason's like, I'm sorry, go ahead. She lonely tombs today. Jason is like, I, I, I,, Ish, on YouTube, come right here, this instant. And he's like, could you help me put my contacts in up in Toronto morning? Oh, God, I love, you know what? I love a captain with a track record of crashing who doesn't know how to drive this old boat with a, who doesn't also know, can't really see properly and doesn't even know how to put his contacts in. to try and contact for the first time. That's great. And of course, Aisha is like, I'm really into eyeballs.

I'd love to do it. So three hours to charter and Adam is the oldest of six. Yeah, I have no full siblings and my parents broke up when I was five that remarried. So like, their kids are like my own kids. And my ultimate goal is to get a house for my mom and my siblings to get taken care of. And then we could have like a one hour dramedy

that he has on Fox on Thursday nights at 9 p.m. Yeah, it's like, that's what a real man is. He takes care of his family. It was like, oh, well, glad I dropped that whole real man wish years ago. Okay. Because that sounds like hell. If I were in your position, you know what I dream of figuring out how to fake my death.

Just get some pizza. So, um, yeah, so he can't see. He wants his mom to stop working as soon as possible. Um, so now there's more cleaning. Zorvina just has like she has like no space in her kitchen and she's losing her mind and she keeps like moving things around. I think that someone needs to just get one of those little portable those IKEA kitchen islands for her, you know, you just buy it, you know, assemble it. I don't

mean that would fit in there. I used to have one of those. That's her great. They're great and great. What I like you as best things Really, truly, in the little wheel that you can make the metal. The metal, so to put. The apartment. Great work. Great work. I've had a few of those in my life. Adam is like, oh, so what are those things you guys are putting on your shoulders?

Come on now. You guys, are we not working out? Come on. So now it's like the guests are showing up time to change into your nice uniforms and Asia puts on her score And then she bends over where she practice down and I was like I'm not in sports! So she has to change and get there in time to greet all the guests who are coming. They're coming. So no guests can't see my line.

And so the guests are coming down the block. And we see Carmen, the primary, we see Brad, we see Brandon, we see Ashley, we see Christa. And so they walk up and H. said, tell us, Christal, so you do not drink, cry, we make you mocked, oh.

She's like, oh, I was on a spiritual journey, but I'd love to make sure alcohol and that, please. I'm like, oh, yeah, of course, yep. Here we go. The spiritual journey person is the one who's,, oh, I was on a spiritual journey, but I'd love to make sure alcohol and that please. Oh, yeah, of course, yeah. Here you go. The spiritual journey person is the one who's gonna be the disaster. Also, I crack up when Gaze arrived,

especially when they're in their own couple, and they just look like each other. When Gaze date a version of themselves, I'm not sure if these Gaze were dating, I'm just still traumatized from the threreple, from the last charter we saw on below deck sailing, so I assume they were a threple, but they all have the same like bleached blonde hair, like exact same look. Yeah, I was gonna ask you, is that back the bleached, it's not even bleached. I think it is, right? It's just like thick roots, but bleached, like bleached. I think

it is, I'm seeing a lot of gaze. Plus, also, Barbie's coming out this weekend and Ryan Gosling has that kind of hair. So I think that like the gaze of her. Yes, can. I think I should do that. I want to be like involved in more hair trends. Maybe I'll get some blonde hair.

I'm going to get some blonde hair. I'm going to get a bleached wig for the rest of the week to celebrate Barbie. I think I'll try. I feel like there aren't either some sort of like Barbie, like Ken filter Barbie. I think I'll try. I feel like there, I guarantee there's some sort of like Barbie, like Ken filter on TikTok. And I'll try that. I'll see how it looks on me.

Yeah. Of course everybody's doing it. We should do it. We need to have our Barbie filter, Ben. Sure. I'll do it. Come on. I'll do it.

So welcome to Why To A Crappens With Barbie and Ken. Hello everyone's doing it. So Crystal, who is just, first of all, pre-ordered to watch what crap ends with Barbie and KELOLO. Everyone's doing it. So, Crystal, who is just, first of all, pre-ordered a moctail, which is fucking obnoxious to start with, okay? Instead of just saying, I declined, can I have a bottle of water? Okay, she's ordered a special moctail. They bring her her special drink.

Then she tells them last second, once she's already on board, that she does not want that drink anymore. So they go to make her a new drink, and then tells them last second what she's already on board that she does not want that drink any longer. So they go to make her a new drink, and then she immediately starts complaining that she can't cheers with everybody. And she's like, oh, I need my drink quickly. I'm on my vacation empty handed. Where's my drink?

This lady's a fucking idiot and get her off the boat right now, she's gonna be a disaster. She's a huge idiot, and she is the prototypical below deck guest who's not the primary but it's all extra with the staff because I don't know it's like some weird power trip it's always the person who's not paying for the trip who acts who acts up the most it's like when there's a do we be guy whose friends with like the like a group or like a muscle guy and they of course get into all the fights because they or like a muscle guy and they they of course get into

all the fights because they know that their muscle guys gonna defend them. So like that's basically what what these non-paying guests are like. Yeah, so then they get the tour and the jacuzzi is not filled, which I thought was weird. And then Carm, you know, basically they're just looking around, but what one of them's like, um, I'm gonna sleep with my husband. So where are we all gonna sleep? And then the husband's like, well, that's at first.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So yeah, they all start laughing. And then we go look at the workout room and there's a huge charcoot retray for everybody. And by the way, we have to really mention. So we're really getting, I wanna say a spectrum of gaze, but we're really not. We, we, you know, on below deck sailing during pride month,

we had wonderful, lovely gaze. As soon as pride month ended, we had the, the, the threple from hell. And then we have these gaze, he's just true idiot gaze. Like, like outwardly stupid gaze. And the, the shark could report a rise. And the, the brand in is like, now this is the yacht version of a shark's shoe to report. I was like, oh my goodness.

Oh, so then the deckies are talking about lines, lines, lines and Adam's like, yeah, well, on commercial boats, spring lines first and offshore lines, is that how this goes? Looks like, oh, you call that offshore as well, eh? So then it's time to go and the captain is like, well, now listen here. Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant one propeller. It's gonna be gay all season. It only goes one way. Old the asshole. So apparently I guess it only goes to the right. I guess maybe because propeller is going to go in one direction, like right. So the boat's going to like always

veer to the right. Don't you love that? I love that in a boat. A boat that just wants to cringey into rocks. So then on top of that, you've got wind, and the wind is blowing it this way towards the dock, and the boat wants to go to the dock, and after a steer, the boat into the wind, to get it off the thing, da da da da da da da da da, takes two, I got one. So, they're fine.

So Laura has gone to change, right? She's gone to change into her next round of clothes, but we get a thing on the screen that says, six minutes since Laura gone to change, right? She's gone to change into her next round of clothes, but we get a thing on the screen that says, six minutes since Laura went to change. And the crystal's yelling for Laura to get her drink or get her something who knows what now. She's like, Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura. And it's like 10 minutes since she went to change.

And Laura, Laura, Laura, Laura. And then Adam goes, I need my drama, mean. Here's the thing, I get seasick and I'm afraid of water. What? What the fuck? What are you doing here? And he goes, so when I was in maritime school, I had to go, I had to go to remedial swimming class

for three months, and so I just took the coach $20. I didn't learn to swim at all, but I can doggy paddle really well. You're supposed to save these people when their floaty gets detached from the yacht. You have to go out and save them. What the heck? I would just terrible to just give a shout out to Adam's mom out there, wherever you are. I'm sure we'll hear your voice later this season as he's promising to buy you a mansion one day.

You're not getting your house, okay? Because your son who now works in the middle of the ocean, has decided to fake knowing how to swim by paying off a swim instructor $20. Also, that swim instructor out there, shame on you. Yeah, that, by the way, also for only $20, $20, like, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. Really?

A maritime school did that, you guidance counselor sent, are you sure it wasn't just prison? Were you in prison? I guarantee it was SUNY maritime, Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo- Like, can I get shumps? I want chumps. I want shumps. And now it's 15 minutes. It's just like going up and up. And Laura's just taking her sweet time in that bathroom, you know, spritzing her perfume, putting on her makeup and everything. And Aisha's just calling and calling her. And we just keep getting little clips of the guests showing them in the past light. I'm going to clip a brand-in or Brad, I don't know which one's which. But he's like, I'm going gonna stick this pineapple fish up your ass.

And then, Aisha's writing to do all their stuff and Laura's still not coming and the captain's like, someone go find Laura, where's Laura? So then she comes up and Aisha's like, that took way too long, where's so much to do? And Laura tells us, so what, looking good at this part of job. It's important. It shows how much you care.

Watfia is all about beauty. You brush your lips. You pull your hair back. You look good. Every potato. Put a little. Don't tell me you can't put lipstick on the potato. That's what I'm saying.

So sorry, Nostal hasn't heard about her luggage. And then meanwhile, the guests are out on the deck. They're like at the table outside. And Crystal goes, who runs the world? And Rennie goes, Gaze! They're like, get this man off the boat. So Crystal's like, okay, you can be my best friend now. Carmen, I'm gonna fight for Brandon and I'm a winner.

And she's like, no, I'm a winner. And you're here because of me. What's your name? I was like, uh-oh. Here we go. Here we go. So she paid for her friend and her friends were resentful because like, oh, you think you're so great because you're rich and you can take us all on a boat. Yeah. So, this is more stuff and anchor goes down. It's raining a little bit. Brandon's like, that's just level five, could really have a musical. Like, I want a boat. I'll boat that goes places. Get an adventure boat. And then here's would be the I'll pick the luck.

Cash you in the block of cheese. He's like the... I have his love of the block and I'd be happy with these. So, Sarah's like, I've had really difficult clients chuck my food over the side and say, go fetch it yourself. The debt can't head to Georgia down the way. They had dropped out of the way of the plates flying,

so since then, every dish I'm just, you know, shit myself over it. It's like, you had a guest throw plates at your head over the... What are you starting doing here? That's when you go back to Cargo's house. Yeah, I don't know what this is all about. So now the guests are, they're eating lunch and everything, everything's fine.

So Carmen, you know, they're talking and Carmen does this thing. She's like, Carmen goes, hey, Crystal, or they call Crystal Chrissy. They're like, hey, Chrissy. And she kind of like rubs her, like right by the side of her mouth and be like, hey, you got a little something. You got a little, you got a little something. And Chrissy's like, are you kidding me? Don't do that. You're being petty. And she's like, no, no, there's out of her mouth to be like, hey, you got a little something. You got a little something. And Chris is like, are you kidding me?

Don't do that. You're being petty. And she's like, no, no, there's something in your mouth. And she's like, okay, I know there's something on my mouth, but you're being petty. And there's a lady named Rhoda there too. I don't know why. No, I don't think Rhoda got it in here.

I didn't even notice Rhoda before, but she's hearing now. And she's like, but that's what we do. If she's almost got something on their face, you tell them they've got something on their face. And Carmen's like, well, would you rather me not tell you you have something on your face? And Crystal's like, well, I'd rather you not say anything because you're being petty, queen of the universe.

So Carmen's like, I don't do this, I'm not gonna do this. And so Asia comes up and it goes, and are you guys satisfied with everything here? And Carmen's like, yeah, I'm ready to get out of this motherfucker. And she's like, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'm not sure how many levels there are yet. I will tell you guys later about right now. I passed, I'm passed. The elevator's still going. So, Crystal goes, the only person I trust is my cheating ass husband. So, then, Crystal me.

I don't, honestly, I don't know. I think Crystal's garbage. So, anything she says, I don't really understand. Rota is, I think like many times in Rota's life. I feel like this happens to Rota all the time. She's left alone at the table. I feel like she's just like, why does this always fucking happen to me?

Everywhere I go, any new friend I try to make. Yeah, we're Rhoda. We're Rhoda, we're Ronnie. So then everyone goes and now they're fighting on the inside. And Crystal's just going off on Carmen. And then Crystal's like, fuck all of you motherfuckers!

So then Brandon, he's like, he's like, Chrissy! He just starts, he's like, we got on this about five minutes ago, Chrissy. Sarah's like, oh my! And Aisha's like, they're all as super y'all in the most beautiful place in the world

and then finding What a nightmare! This is Balsha. We got about five minutes ago. This is not okay. This is not okay, Gregorette. So Jason is telling us, well, I think it's time for an expedition. I've been to Green Island. It's a marine sanctuary. The fish come

right up to you. You don't even need a dive certificate, so it's a perfect entry. Why is everything about not being licensed today? I was about to say. Okay, by the way, after this ocean gate disaster, can we not lean into not having to be licensed for things to go under water? I don't know. I just want all the certifications around me at all times.

For real. So, Aisha is like, she's telling the guests, hey, you guys, you want to go swimming and we got to go now. So they all go on the expedition. They go on the tender and the hairy dives down and down let's see what. So Asia pulls us out Laura and goes oh the way I'm really really sorry it's such a long day Laura we can't take full breaks. Oh I'm not even

thinking about breaks but you want to take a break for 20 minutes? Are you crazy? Are you crazy? You actually think, I, Latvian Princess would go for break when we are like this. Do you know what we said when we said time to go for break at one table restaurant? I said, have a break restaurant and that's when I have to... hours of clothes, okay? No, I stand and I do my work.

Here's the only break. Here's the only break, Laura, take. Break me off the keys of this... Break me off the piece of this Kit Kat bar and let us keep working together. Ah! We do not have chocolate in that, via. I literally would like some Kit Kat please.

We only break cats. We would actually get a toy kit. And there was for break cats. We would actually get a toy kit and it was for breaking cats. We'd say break me off a piece of that cat. It's not very cat. Freeze cats first, then break off piece. Very fun game. So, it's just like, Oh, I love you.

So now the guests are putting on their,'s they're going underwater during the whole thing and look is like This is unreal. You know what makes me happy is always chasing the next bit of excitement I want I want that seroton heat. I want my energy levels to be here And what my happiness about even higher. I love finding the next new thing. That's why I'm now hooked on a heroine. So you're seeing baby on the celluline. I was gonna say this, I'm getting the coke head who is still not withdrawing and he's gonna become a nightmare soon.

That's what I'm getting right now. Yes. When he can't get it anymore. So Adam helps Aisha with dishes and she's just, she loves him so much and Adam's really a sweet guy. You know, I'm, and you know why? And you know why? Because if they start sinking, he's going to need everybody to save his ass because he

can't swim. So he's going to need to, or, or sturdy door to float on. Right. So he does seem like a super sweet guy and as he's helping and then Sarin is going crazy in the kitchen And then they get their coming back and getting ready for dinner and everybody's wasted now, right? Yeah, and it's just calling for Laura. I said Laura Laura

Laura Chris, I didn't know so trying to make it seem like Laura is oh look at Laura She can be a problem, but then Lord just appears like I like I'm right here I'm at table I'm making table beautiful you look next to you you you did not see me here but you have a path of rolled silverware next to you who are always with you you saw print of Rolls-Loverware in the sand. Sariya was on my mini-break enjoying M's. M's? Oh yes, we don't have the second M in Latvia. It's just M's.

Only M. They do melt in your hand, actually, and Latvia. So you have to eat quickly. They do melt in your hand, actually, and not the other. So you have to eat quickly. The second they melt in my hand. So then, are people feel like, fuck these guys. If they had electricity and could listen, absurde would be. We don't know, we're just being be. No, we don't know.

We're just being ignorant. Sorry, anybody. I feel like the beautiful. I would love to go to Isabria. What the fuck am I going to do? We only have one M. So you're the one who gave up a break, you have a piece of a cat.

I know. I said these guys, not just you. We're being such dicks, the Latvia. We're so ignorant. we have no idea. So seafood extravagant as getting set up and Serena's like, oh my God, I don't even have room to do this. And the captain's like, she's fucked, okay, and I get it.

But, you know, what are you gonna do? And she's like, well, how am I gonna do it? I don't have space. And he's like, listen, this is day one. We've got provisions. Let's just get through it What are you gonna do and she's like hmm? I've quit three times some eye hair today And I've started this boat on fire six So that's where I'm at Well, I'm glad you didn't actually do that because the truth is this is actually a

1977 exhibition that the refer bestion be ashamed for at hard work to go down flames. So then he's helping out with cooking the crabs and everything and he goes to grab a crab and the crab pinchers him. He's like, Elle stop spikies, spikies. And he tells us, I've always loved cooking and Susuke's mother's fantastic. We run a business together. We co-parent. I've learned a lot by watching her.

But one thing I didn't learn was not to touch a crab but it's pincher, and L. Yeah. So then we set up for dinner and whatever. Okay, so the guest finally come out and Brandon's like, oh my God, that is one hell of a crab craw. Where's Chrissy? Where's Chrissy?

Is Chrissy out? Is she out? Is she out? Is she out? Is she out? Chrissy has the side to skip dinner, and she's passing out, because she's too drunk. The sober one is too drunk. So Jason sits down with Luke,

and he's talked to him about creating a system of managing the deckies, wants to have his system, you know, like focus on the hours of rest and everything, and says the best thing I can say with Luke already, is he's taking ownership of the deck. And when I'm speaking to Luke, he's really listening when he's not shooting himself up with some sort of drug in his arm. And you can say he has the ability to be a strong leader.

And then we cut to the gas and the guys eating like this. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. This is a reason to get crappers under bed. Ha ha ha ha. I have to start out. on the band. I am so mad. I am mad. I am mad. I am mad.

I am mad. So, and then Brandon, Brandon takes a bite of something. He accidentally eats some caviar and he goes, oh my god, you didn't say what that was! And Roda goes, oh, just swallow. You're used to doing that. And Brandon goes, it's not funny, Rode, I fuck off. Because I'm pissed. They're like, bring your octave down,

they go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's a sign. And so Stacey's like, I'm in the middle of this, whoever Stacey is. She's like, I'm not doing this. No, Stacey's a man. Stacey's the third gay, the one that's not Brad. The non-Bee gay, Brad Brandon. He's like, I'm calling the middle, and I'm not doing this. No, Stacey's a man. Stacey's the third gay, the one that's not Brad. The non-BGay, Brad or Brandon, he's like,

I'm calling them middle and I'm not doing that. And then Brad's like, Stacey's not a, Stacey's a major medic. So then Brandon picks up a crab, and goes, how the fuck do you open this? Yeah. So he's like, I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing this. This is not what I want it. If this isn't what you wanted, why did you invite him? This is not the first time he's acted like this. Or eaten like that. Okay, you have all witnessed him eat before. I don't believe that none of you.

I don't believe anyone here is surprised at this guy being classless with no manners, Stacy. I know. In the spirit of Fiddler on the Roof, I would like to play Yenta, and I would like to match make Stacy with that guy David who was the The unassociated gay with the thrupple that would be a cute couple because they both are so over their awful gay friends

And I think they deserve to have like some trauma bonding together and then maybe have a romance And they're both like old like not old but like older than the Twink Gays being dramatic in general. So yeah, that would be nice. I'm not for it. I ship them. I ship them. Pun intended. So yeah, Brandon is being so ridiculous.

I don't even open this. And then Asha comes back and goes, how's the food? Love it. Love it so much. Love that, love that. So the older Gays go downstairs and they're talking about how wasted he is and then we see him just stumbling around downstairs

and he's like, oh my God, everybody is so annoying. Ah. So then Laura tells us that she's ready to find love on a yacht. Because in communism there is no love. So she's about to turn 30 and she's like, in Latvia you get married when you're 20. You have kids when you're 20. You have first M when you're 20. And it looks like I love your accent.

She has I love yours. And then she just keeps eating her crab. So he's trying but she's like, I'm your accent. She looks, I love yours. And then she just keeps eating her crab. So he's trying, but she's like, I'm way more into this crab. So, love yours too. So then Brandon is like, oh, I gotta eat the fun that I said, right?

He's just stumbling around in his speedo now. And he's like, can I have a glass of champs? I'm a little good at bad posture, I have a little power, guys. I'll cut your hair. I'll cut your hair. You said I'll cut your hair, right? No, I'll be out of your hair. I'll be out of your hair. Oh, I need a palette dice. I'll cut your hair. I'll cut your hair. You said I'll cut your hair, right? Yeah, I'll be out of your hair.

I'll be out of your hair. Oh, I thought you said I'll be out of your hair. I'll be out of your hair. I'll be out of your hair, never mind. Cause I was like, oh, this makes sense. So he's like the middle. It's letting you near their hair bleaching. Okay, you've already victimized Stacy

in what's his bun's brand new. Brad, whoever. So he's being very polite, he's going up to A.C. He's like, can I just get like a glass of champagne? It's 11 o'clock. And he's like, I know that's going up to Asia, and he's like, can I just get a glass of champagne? It's 11 o'clock, and he's like, I don't know that's it, don't know what I'm gonna do about it. And she's like, oh, show, see you in the morning, go get some rest, which was Asia,

that's Asia's speak for, get the fuck out of my face, you drunk, slab and go to sleep, so I can go to sleep, good night. And we know that he's not, because he's in a speedout, which means he's about to go get in the hot tub, which maybe they filled by now. I don't know. I'm investing.

So then Brandon's like, oh my god, he goes into the girls room and he just swings up in the door and goes, you are a mess in here. And they go, we're not a mess. And he goes, you are an ox, I just got here. Yeah, loves that. So, Zervina's feeling really shitty because she had to have the Captain Helper and everything.

But whatever, it's just her first day. And then Aisha's just so happy that Brandon's going to bed now. And she's just giving Lauren Strockchens now it's 11.45. And she's just giving Lauren Strockchens for this, do this, do this, do this overnight, or whatever. And almost on me here.

Aisha, Aisha. She's like, or whatever, and almost something to be here. A-Y-SHA-A-Y-SHA! She's like, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Play Lies on the bench and then Crystal finds him she's drunk. He says she comes up and finds him and Luke is like well, I'm going to bed I know that the captain wants someone up there if there's a guest But I have to think strategic we're a man down and if our team has everyone up We're gonna have tied bodies on board of one-tired body on board Yeah, would you rather have fired bodies on board? You can't just not do what the captain tells you to do. What the fuck? That sounds like a saying that you would say, Ronnie, do you want tired bodies or fired bodies? Get to work. That is the saying I just said. Yeah.

I literally just said it. It's like when you always say, if you've got time to lean, you got time to clean. You know, I didn't come up with that one, but yeah, that's like, this is yours to come up with. This was your thing. I just made it. Guys, everybody start saying that in the service industry. Do you want to be tired? Do you want to be fired? So Brandon, okay. So then Brandon goes, do we have Jalabart? What? What is it? Draftjal on board. Just Adam goes to the air. And he goes, yeah. I'm good. I think that was, I think that was Adam that asked that.

Oh, okay, good. That's what I'm saying. I like that. It's still funny. I just can't get a cocktail. So he's like, can I have a cocktail? So Chris was like, I want to smoke a cigarette and brand. I mean, my cigarettes.

And Chris was like, Brandon, she's like, Brandon the night is young. Like, I'm a fucking angel. He's like, let's go swimming. And so he goes, he finds's like Brandon the night is young like I'm a fucking angel. Let's go swimming And so he goes he finds Laura in like the Laura area. I was like, hi I love that. Hi. Hey, can we go like nice something and she's like no you can't no you can't do that nice swimming So we can't no no you're not No, it's dark is dark right now. We can't see you. He's like arms. We can't. Just, no, no. You're not doing no. No, there's no. It's dark right now.

We can't see you. He's like, um, so we can't just take a nap. No, hard now, hard now. Hard, Latvian, no. Okay, that's not just a no. That's a no from, you know, I am curtain, no. Okay, that's a no. Put them on the bed, no.

How many is a no? That no is like all the other other notes, but also very serious So it's like love that so we're going swimming that she's do not I worried doing that we are just getting just getting Just getting the hide it, but we're gonna go swimming crystal and she's like it's a full moon bitch And so she takes off we had a hide it's a full moon bitch a great discretion there And then he does like a cannonball into the water. Wow really being discrete And then he goes it's us bitch So they're like hugging the water and Laura comes out. She's like hello Latvian princess here to talk to you guys

I was very clear with you. Okay, if you jump in the water the party's over It's like what I say to people who tried the second guest who showed up at my one table restaurant, sorry, party's over, no table. Party's over. No table for you. So, Crystal goes, blue, blue, bitch. Who's not alone with that means?

And they just keep ignoring her. And so, Laura's like, oh, they don't know. Laura can get angry. And he's like, okay, well, good, how? And Laura says, too late for that. So, she goes to the captain's room and she wakes him up. And he's like, okay, well, good out. And Laura says, too late for that. So she goes to the captain's room and she wakes him up. And she's like, Captain, they guess jump in the water after I warned them, party will be over. I said, I literally said party will be over. I did the whole party will be over thing. And he still didn't listen. And he's like, so who's on you and who else?

Because I don't know. So he's like, Luke, Luke, you can't be, but Luke is sleeping. So he has to get up. Man, he's pissed. So Jason's like, this is a dangerous situation. First of all, we're on a 1977 fishing vessel that's been converted into an expedition boat with one prop. So we got that first and foremost.

Second of all, I got near debt crew. There's sleep. We got reef sharks, strong currents, box jelly fish, I got near dead crew, there's sleep. We got reef sharks, strong currents, box jelly fish, and they're actually on the dead crew too, and there's sleep too. This is terrible. And they were told that they can't swim. Yes, I said party over.

So then Brandon and Chrysler are now coming out of the water. And Chrysler's like, this is Baywatch. And Captain's like, they took it to another level cut to Brandon being like we took another level bitch. It's us. Jason's like if I was a shark I'll be out looking to feed right now. I know there's some shark that's like I'm excuse me. I'm actually trying to tend to my figure.

Thanks for the fat shaving. Okay. I'm not eating it all times. Thanks for the diet culture, Captain Bitch. Some of us are actually working on themselves, okay? I actually have to go to work now. I'm not actually eating all day long. I actually have clients.

So thank you very much, Captain Jason. It's called intermittent fasting, you fucking more on listen. You fuckface Blooting my house. I Have limits. Oh, he's pissed and he goes outside and he's clapping. I Love Moody ass Jason. Like why is he so moody this season? He's pissed. So he comes out and he's like she told you not to swim and She did it. Uplaws. Uplaws. And so Chris says, okay, hold on, let me put my titties away because she's toughless. And then Jason's like, you got currency, you got sharks, you got jellyfish,

you got everything, it's the question. Okay. You know what, the only thing you don't have out here, a second prop. All right. So you go back in the water and then we're going to go back to the marina tomorrow then if that happens. And so they try to get mad. Okay, which is really funny because she goes, oh really, well, on my vacation, I'm the captain of the ship.

You'll learn it tomorrow. I'm highly upset. And he goes, oh really? You want to go to the next step? I'm going to go to that next step tomorrow. We're going back to the marina. And Brandon goes, oh really? You want to go to the next step? I'm going to go to that next step. Tomorrow we're going back to the Marina and Brandon goes, bitch. Fuck off. No, no, no, no, no, bitch. By the way, Chris, we didn't even swim. I'm like, what? You caught you coming out of the water. I literally saw you stupid, but I love that she tried to go against the captain and be like,

oh really, without my vacation, I'm the cat. Bye. Bye. Oh my God. This is, I can't wait to see how brave he's mine. We weren't even in the water. Like it's just like my foot. He's making a whole thing about it. I was perfectly fine and perfectly safe and no one got hurt. So I don't understand what the big deal is, batch. Well below deck, what do they call it when something happened already? So you have to keep doing it in the future in the law. They're like, there's, precedenters.

Yes, there's precedent. Below deck precedent says they have to go because remember Captain Lee kicked that lady off, he was like, I'm a like person. I'm a bloor. I'm a bloor. Yeah, she jumped in. Yup, yeah, I think they're to have to go back because they sat.

He was actually being nice. He was saying don't do this again, although it's where you go to the Marina. And then she sat and he's like, we're going to the Marina. We're going to the Marina tomorrow. Bitch, bitch. Fuck. Oh, well, died. All right.

Well, that's a very fun beginning of the season. Absolutely. Love that. Love Absolutely. Love it. Love it. Thank you everybody for being here. Thanks for everybody who's with us on video on Patreon. And this week's last week's episode was an Amazon buying trip for Amazon Prime Day. And this week, we're going to talk about all the stuff we got and review it.

Well, come to Patreon. Love you guys. Talk to you. Guess what? In five minutes, because we're going to record another show. Okay. Bye, bitches. guys, talk to you, guess what? In 5 minutes, because we're gonna record another show. Okay, bye bitches. Bye, batch! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors!

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