Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Down Under: Harry and the Frienderzones

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

This week on Below Deck Down Under (S02E11), Harry finally settles into his natural place:  the friend zone.  Plus, Adam decides to drop the anchor while the boat is barreling ahead, and Tzarina calls Culver a slut.Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/88139812See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What happens when there's so much that crap is Who cares what What happens Kids, what happens when they're so wild and rabbits? You're a crap. It's for when you don't run around. Kids, what happens when they're so much that's rabbits? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap I'm bravo that we just love to talk about. And then Mandelker, and joining me today is the wonderful and glorious Ronnie Caram.

Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Well, hello, my little Benoons. What you doing? Sweet guy? Uh, I am just here, uh, ready to talk about episode two of the week, uh, below deck down under. Can't wait to get into it. If you miss the first one, it's on our, it's on our feed. Go, uh, go subscribe to us. You should go subscribe. And, um And you don't have to with them wonder where the other episode is. Also, we had such a tremendously fun time doing crap the hour this week. That's our every two week show. Is that biweekly? Is that biweekly? I think that's biweekly.

That's biweekly. You know, I don't want to like label a week. Yeah. You know, they can be whatever they want. You just tell me don't want to like label a week. Yeah, you know, they can be whatever they want. You just tell me what you want to be called week. Yeah. But that's our show on Instagram live. And we had a really fun time thanks to the many people who showed up for it. We spent like the first 30 or 40 minutes talking about the Bethany and Rachel interview. And so Ronnie is going to put that up on our feed. He's gonna work on it, try to make it sound better. He's gonna do his magic. Maybe, Ronnie Caramagic.

That's a huge, that's a huge, man. Huge, maybe, if it sounds like absolute shit. So, if it sounds like shit, then it won't go up. I'm sorry, did I just over-promise to the audience? I'm so sorry, Ronnie. I was kind of tired. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, there's no guarantee that it's gonna be going up

on the podcast feed, but if you go to our Instagram, it is there, so for people who've been wanting to hear us weigh in on the whole Bethany thing, go check that out there because we weigh in for a very long time. So go check that out. And we're also on video, as usual, these videos, they watch them on patreon.com slash watch our crap ins.

You get to watch them here for a week before they go to YouTube. So, that's all the good stuff. And of course, we also have our bonus episodes. Last week, we recapped the penultimate episode of crappy lake. And then this week, we are doing Southern Charm trailer breakdown. So, come join us for that. And now today we are back in the wonderful world of Australia, where I am by the way, I'm, I guess people are wondering,

I'm broadcasting from a coral reef today. So if you're watching and you're wondering what all the fish are behind me, yeah, I'm underwater. I'm like the batches. He's underwater, you guys. We have found Neema. Yeah. So the previous episode of Below Deck down under ended with Adam, who spends almost all the time grumbling about people not doing their jobs. Adam not putting out

a fender and the boat getting scraped to Holy Hell as it comes into the dock. So after ignoring the railings too, who did's fault were the railing things? When the captain was like, that was Culver's fault. Was that Culver's fault? I thought that was Culver's fault. That may have been the fault. Because he was controlling, he was controlling with, no, no, there was a swim ladder,

there was a swim ladder, which I think was Adam's fault. Then there was the railings that got knocked off by the tender, which was Culver's fault. Yeah, but Adam caused the roof for Adam, right? Yeah, Adam, the ladder was definitely Adam. And also Adam did not clean up the broken glass underneath the table. So that's really three for Adam.

That's three strikes. You're lucky to St. Paul, bitch. You're lucky to St. Paul. Yeah, man. So, um, basically, the, uh, the boat crashes into the dock more or less. It's a light crash, but it's a crash, all the same. It does, so the squeak crash, but also they do the thing where they give us that one shot before they do the previously's, which, you know, is my favorite thing.

I love, like, the still, no music, just a still... Well, I shouldn't say still. Sound music, just a still. Well, I shouldn't say still. Sound-wise, it's still, but we get a shot of a different fish every time. This time, it is the glorious five-head fish, the gigantic four-headed fish. And this time they really leaned into it because they've been doing this thing

with the giant four-head fish, where it's like, don't do this, I'm just part head fish, it's smiling. You know, like this goofy kind of personality. And this time they're like, you know what? We owe five head more because people online are calling them five head. So let's give it more. And this time they showed five head looking fabulous.

I mean, they showed a different angle where it was like swinging is like gorgeous dress around like. I was like, yes, I was wanting this moment for you five head and you got it. You go, batch. Yeah, it's about time five head got, has got their moment in the sun. Yeah. Very happy, very happy for that fish. You're finally getting ahead big enough to live in. Well, we've watched Five Head go from being a bumbling waiter to then becoming a star of fish cinema. So, like now, Five Head has found his groove.

Yep. Five Head's killing it. Girl, you look great. And thank you for the producers for doing that. This is like an episode about giving back, not only to the coral reef, but to fish like five head. Who do the tough work? They do the tough work.

Really, it's bad everyone. So yeah, so Adam is not putting the fender out and so there for the boat is crashing into this thing and there's like lots of drama and Culver is like, okay Adam, you gotta put the fender out, you gotta put the fender out Adam and I'm like, what, what, what, what am I supposed to do? This is a little too much for one man, huh? Too much. Too much for one man, you want to get the defender up? I should be the defender I should be the one who broke one defender like no, this isn't about your brother Fender Fender

Whoa, whoa that pylon did what's it about whoa this boat just got jumped by a pylon okay? Oh man, I'm so mad. I couldn't be there. It's like you were there and you could have stopped it Mother fucking pussy pylon. I know just give me a name. Give me a name of that pylon What did that pylon look like? Oh, I know just that Pylon. I know just the pylons that would do this. So they they're screaming take the slack out of the spring line Adam. He's like, and so the captain like secure it, secure the spring line. He's like, the spring line is on.

He's like, no, you got to tie it at him. And he's like, wow, wow, wow, wow. And then the captain's like, uh, dry out, dry out, dry out, dry out, send someone forward. Let me know when they're tired and I'll take the thrusters off. I'm incredibly too handsome to be dealing with this right now. So as well, runs forward to help.

And then there's like the thrusters, a thruster thing and then Jhorya was like, this whole situation escalated quickly, much like everything in Zimbabwe. Adam is a really hard worker and he tries really hard. So, I'm willing to give him chances after mistakes, but it's not making my job easy at all. It's like being a barista in Zimbabwe. It's not easy because people attack you. I don't know. Just drow Zimbabwe. So Margot is taking herself up. She talks herself to take the suitcase.

She's holding a suitcase to go upstairs and she just looks at it. She's like, you can't do it, Marge. So she goes and gets a suitcase up and then Harry and Adam, Harry's like, what happened to the dog? Did she hit the dog? Did she? It's crazy how that worked.

Hit the dog. Come on, Adam. And Adam's like, I don't know. We need another person on the front. Come on. Like literally never been an issue with any other below deck. This has been done a millions of times. Not only that, but you guys have the easiest job.

I know your boats one prop, which we've heard a million times, but no other below deck has ever had a huge space only to themselves that they have to just like kind of aim. Yeah. You guys don't have to park between other boats or anything else. You just have this big wide open space to kind of lean against. And on top of that, like, the fender

that he ultimately was supposed to put down was like a hot dog on its side. And most of the fenders are vertically oriented, which means you have like a you have a smaller target. But this one was wide, so you just have a whole range, you just have to put it down somewhere. So he tells us, what I... It's so easy, you guys.

It's like literally. It's like, oh, seriously? He goes, what I do is procedures and steps and everything, but in Yatton, we're kind of just winging it, and obviously mistakes happen, which it did, tough situation. I'm like, it wasn't a tough situation. You just have to drop the fender down. Like, you're approaching the boat

and you're standing there with a rope and you're like, you already threw the rope over and you're standing there. What made you think to just stand there? Does it run and put the fender down? How much has Adam cost this boat? That's like a few thousand dollars to have it up. Yeah.

So the family leaves back to the grocery store, which thank God, because everybody else in that town is completely depressed because they haven't had their grocery store, or it's been left open to like Darlene or something. And so every time they've gone into that grocery store, it's just been utter shit. So where's Becky?

Like, Becky's never taken a day off. So, bye, go back. Do what you were born to do, you know, and get those melons bagged properly. Dan has to come in, help out a little bit. Aunt Jackie, and Jackie's trying to like, spritz down the floors. Aunt Jackie's making wacky faces.

She's like, I don't see the coupon from us. So yeah, the name of the store because Becky was so offensive. Like wait a second. Back you three. This is better. Managers. She looks different now. Becky acts something so offensive while she is on vacation that they changed the name. So they go back to Arrow Wisconsin, that's the name of their store.

And Aisha's like, Oh, then no flee. Which by the way, it says about every guest unless they're absolutely terrible. If you're just one shade above, absolutely terrible for Aisha, you're lovely. You know? So Margot's like, Hey guys, we're more than halfway done now.

Guys, this is episode 12. How many working episodes are there at this season? Be me your halfway done. And can we be like three quarters of the way done? Thanks. Great show. Love your show. Wrap it up.

Hares like, well, you actually more than halfway done because didn't you come in way? She goes, hey. And he's like, oh, I didn't realize being insulting. So he hugs her and she goes, I'm not hugging you back for that, for that, for the first time. That was mean what you just said.

It's like, wait, what? So she goes, I just don't like him in that way. And I don't know how to handle any of this. I know that I should be more honest with Harry, but by now you should be kind of catching on. Can't she, can't you tell by my, how I very obviously, you know, kiss him and cud with him and said, yeah, we can kiss and cuddle because I'd sort of like that, you know, can you tell him that into him? Oh, Mark. So she's like, excuse me, I need to get, which by the way, I understand that

all of this like, verges on problematic, right? Because like, excuse me, I need to get the witch by the way. I understand that all of this like Virges on problematic, right? Because like especially of all the stuff that's happened on this show, but it's like, you know Like don't hurt Harry's feelings. Like come on Margot. Yeah, so She's like, excuse me. I need to get through so she goes into the room. She's like, oh god. What am I gonna do? I hope I can hug this out of him So she goes to the room and she's like, oh God, what am I going to do? I hope I can hug this out of him. So then Joua was talking to the captain and he's like, well, we got to scrape. It's very, very minor.

And Jason's like, where is it? So they have to go up and captain's like, all weakest man was up forward and this is going to cost a thousand to fix that. And he's like, this is too many mistakes, multiple damages on board. These mistakes are small, but they are up and some of them can be embarrassing and some can be costly. Oh God, some can put all of God's and Santorini out of business. Are we gonna rule that footage again? Like more Captain Jason crashes into all of God and Santaurini. Yeah, cause you know like,

it's like, look, a ladder blew away. Oh no, a railing got bonked. There's a small scrape at, oh you're gonna roll the footage of me crashing the boat onto land, aren't you? It's what it to minimize everything. Things, things a lot. I was trying to build a case.

Oh, so Margot and Jamie are dance cleaning. They're like, let's clean. Like being wacky. And which by the way, Levin on TV do not love it in real life. If you're here to clean my house, please don't be dancing. Okay. No.

I don't think you, okay, I have a hot take here. I don't think you should ever be dancing unless you're in a situation that calls for dance. So what I mean by that is for instance, and this is not based on anything that may or may not have happened in the past 24 hours. If you go to a gym and you're working out a gym, I don't need you to see dancing while you're doing your tricep extensions. I don't need you like standing by a machine and dancing and then swirling around and then you stop and you do like your bicep thing.

Like dance in dance appropriate situations, don't dance at the gym and don't dance when you clean. Well, yeah, just stop, okay. Stop dancing, don't do that. So, Zarina is mopping angrily, she's still mad. And Culver is like, hey, and she ignores him. It's like this teeth coming around the corner. You just feel the white, you know, like, shing.

Hey, I think I'm gonna do the trash now. Okay, well, I got the trash. That should be good. Okay, so I don't have anything in my mouth. My teeth are leaving. All right, my ears my mouth. My teeth are leaving. My ears leaving. My nose is leaving. My other ears leaving. My teeth are leaving now. She's just ignoring some of the whole time. She goes, what a slut. So then, so then someone text Jason that they're at the dock and then me while there's more cleaning and then

Culver, Culver and Harry are cleaning outside and Culver goes, Hey, you know what's funny Harry? I always have a girlfriend on a boat and if you're lucky enough to been dating long enough, usually the captain will let you share a cabin with your chick or in some cases my mom, which is the best talk because you can come back and your bed's made and they're putting their sheets on for you and they're making Dutch babies in your bed. That's the best. And her like, oh yeah, this is exciting.

I'm gonna be a real man soon. Harry's doing that guy to guy thing where he's like, oh, tell me, are we on the same page? Are you snorkel buttery as well? This is definitely the part in the war movie where our soldiers saying like Yeah, I got a I got a real pretty Mrs. Back at home look at this picture and how's it? Oh, yeah I hope this wall you can get So we got a gather for the crew me the crew

You got a gather for the crew, me, the crew, crew, is that, is not an illness crew? Let's get together for the crew, we meeting, everyone's like, Oh really don't want to talk too much about the real housewives of Miami. I really like my, she's like, I want to talk about my acting career because I'm starring in a new movie with Rob Gronkowski. Yeah, and Armando Asante.

She had her agent, right? I mean, this was years ago, right? But she had her agent tell us no talking about housewives. We were like, we're a real housewives podcast inviting a real housewife on. They're like, uh, we're a real housewives podcast inviting a real housewife on. They're like, no, she's an actor. She wants to talk about that. And we did it.

If we did it, we're such fucking suckers. We were like, what's Rob like? She literally was promoting a movie. She was shooting with a Rob Crankhouse Skinner Monde Sante, which actually is the most amazing thing that has ever happened. And I'm surprised I still have not watched it. Well, maybe the movie never got made.

It's very possible. So there's some reason we don't do interviews. By the way, people are wondering, if ever you want to know why, go listen to that. The couple of times, sometimes it's been okay, but the few times we've done it, it's just like, oh my God, I can't. I can't. I can't.

The little hit miss. Yeah. So the guy's doing it. What's the guy's doing? Acting career. No, that's miss and miss. That's like the couple that just left. Miss and miss.

So the captain's like, all right, tip meeting. So they get together and he's like, all right, so we're over the halfway mark of things broken on the boat. So, I'm going. Hopefully we can break the entire thing by the time we're bad. We are taking some me and Vlad and Vlad and Dima, or taking some bets on what's gonna break the next. Vlad has his money on the curic machine.

I say it's just gonna be the entire front half of the boat. So we're gonna see what breaks first. Oh, the Vlad thinks it's gonna be the expedition owner's soul that we'll be broken into. Let's see if we can get there, shall we? All right, we're not doing the helmet today. Because you're all getting the rest of the day off. Also, Adam has broken the helmet.

Adam accidentally used the helmet as a fender and it has been crushed between the boat and the dock. So they also they also got $17,500 which is really good for one day. That was a one day. Yes. Unfortunately, it was all in coupons for a grocery store. So it was going to happen with it. It was delivered in a Val pack. But most of it was for broccoli. So it's just like, you're beautiful. And you go into a beach club afterwards, like, yes. So Culver is like, I'm excited to hang out with Jamie

Moore. I know Serena might be upset about what might happen but you know you put two horses in a ring together and they buy and they do this and that and eventually those horses get along and what I'm just trying to say is women are like horses you ride them and they fight it with each other. This is pretty progressive, right? This kind of gets fucking worse with everything. He is the worst. He's, well, I don't want to say the worst

because this season we have actually seen the worst. We've seen much worse. But this is kind of the worst, not worse than that, but worse in general below deck doucheery because he's got such a charm about him. Yeah. And it makes it I hate when people can hide behind that He's just such a skive ball go go back to fucking cuddling with your mom. You fucking weirdo

Okay, so then Hey, someone's arriving at the boat. We don't know. I like the caller Stag from heaven. Chef Kim. Hey, we actually own a racing horse and guess what we named her? Dutch baby. Mama. Mama. You know, I go to the bell. Mama stakes. I am from Maryland. No, Marin, Maryland is the pre-knus. Almost really messed that up. Come here, shoes. Here comes one right now. So someone's arriving in their face obscured,

and Jason's like, Aisha, Aisha, need you to come to the bar. And she's like, okay. So she walks up, and she's like, I'm here. I think she goes she's yes, and she sees it's Scott her boyfriend. She's she just stops and goes It's the slow, motion-iest, door-creaking outfit. I watch it five times. It's like a slow motion version of pulling a straw out of a plastic wave. They can't do it. It's not working with my straw.

Foot and slow motion. Oh my God. So it's my boy friend. He's really. And this guy, wow, who does this guy? This guy looks like he directed my mom tried to make out with this guy in the 70s in the bowling alley that she met my dad at before she met my dad. Like this guy is just like, Hey, I work at KISS El Paso. Like I'm the disc jockey, you know? To me, he looks like I was like,

I don't know exactly what the director of Uncut Gems looks like, but I think it's this guy. It looks like, okay, anyone who's fucked a guy in Colorado, it was this guy, you know? He kind of smells like mothballs and has always like a dried bugger stuck somewhere on some of his facial hair. And he's just always like, high or like, you don't know if he's like in a bad mood or if he's in a great mood. He's just like an even killed low energy, just high altitude.

He's just somewhat dirty but never gross guy, you know. It's like if you have to go to RRI and you ask if they have something and the person says, hold on, let me go check in the back and then the person who comes back is this guy, I'm sorry, we don't have it. After 30 minutes, I'm smelling like weed. You're like, wait a minute. But that big said, love Scott. Love this guy. He's so sweet. I think he's actually kind of cute in that kind of crunchy granola Colorado. He's totally cute in that WKRP in Cincinnati way. Just like that sitcom from the 80s, 70s, 80s, just kind of big fluff. You know he's got like a huge bush,

you know, I'm not gonna be too gross. Yeah. Ashrine to Barbara Bush, that is. Yeah, it looks like he's from like a Wes Anderson movie. Very good, sir. Like just, yeah, bowls. I just keep coming back to bowling now. Yeah, balls. I keep coming back to ball hanging balls.

So it's just like. Balls. Scott and I have been together for over two years now and we're still madly in love. Right now we live in Brecht and Ridge, Colorado and Scott works at a bar and he's independent, he's adventurous and he's my best friend in the whole world. I love him sooooooo! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo It's very depressed calling herself ugly and fat and then making barfing pumpkins to compensate.

It's the saddest thing ever really. Two hours here as well, it's actually being fine. He does say some bobway a lot and then cackle. But at least he hasn't called me a hooo yet, so we're on very good footing actually. Yeah, did you have, did you talk to the captain? He's like, yeah, how do you think I got here? So, meanwhile, Jamie is, they're getting dressed for a beach day. Everyone else is getting dressed for beach day.

And Jamie has a hat that says, mad about the boy. And she's like, should I wait? These are like, into total trouble. It's like, you see, you can't do the innocent thing. You can be like, oh, she's mad at me. And then she wears a hat that says, mad about the boy. And basically, it looks like the hat literally looks like one of Culver's teeth.

I mean, you can't be like, it does. It's like, it's like, it's called size. Yeah, color, it's crazy. She's like, do you think that it would be terrible if I wore this hat and then wrote an eyeliner pencil on top? Chef is, I'm just wore it out. Chef is mad about the boy. I don't know. I don't know that I would do that. All right. I certainly wouldn't want to cause any trouble. Hmm. What if I just right and mad about you and put up a picture of Helen Hunt, that way she

would be confused and think I'm a fan of a show instead of not realizing it's a reference to cover? So, they're talking about how she wants to just flirt. She loves flirting and it just cuts to call for putting deodorant on its dick. This is really funny. So then Joao is talking to Serena and he's like, she's like my shirt. Look at my mini vans on my shirt.

That's my print mini vans. And she looks like a mini shirt as well. I'm coming back to life. I'm actually coming back to life right now. It's amazing. And so then Asian introduces Scott to Zwhau, and then Margot has Harry's water bottle. And he's like, oh, what, what a bottle.

Well, we've kissed before, so it's fine. So yeah, you know, you know, just drink out of it. You know, friends alive at a friend's alive. You know what I'm seeing. And he's like, oh, have we now? Anybody here that? It's Chrosie, she's just sitting there. We've been on a date, not a snorkel thing too,

but we have. It's complicated between me and her, like that's our relationship status. I know that Margot doesn't want to be a big thing, so I'm just gonna go with it's complicated, or maybe even like it's DOA dead on a rival. Something like that, I don't know So they leave for noon at this noon o'clock in case anybody's dying to know what time I love when this shows like it's noon

Oh, okay, good. I was like terrified that they were behind schedule on their day off. So They they board another boat to woo a lot. It's the Wu boat, where they get a day off so they go, I'm like, woo, woo, woo. So Scott's like, I don't do skew of Asia goes down, and then she tells me what's down there. And I was surprised that no one made any sort of double entendre joke off of that.

And then, me along. I think they're just like wondering if things to this guy's about to flat line or what? I'm like, did somebody put a benzo in this guy's tray? He's just that Colorado guy. We've all known this guy. I fucked this guy. Mike, not this, maybe not this,

I don't know, literally, I didn't ask his name. But like, we've all fucked this guy. They're just like, hey, I love Colorado. You know why? It's just so high energy here Especially Bravo's version of Adam Driver It's a big old fish behind my head so um Fucking Adam Driver

Adam Driver Hectory so um then meanwhile so Zarina is like sitting right next to his Wow and the boat shifts, so she falls onto her knee. She's like, oh, oh, crann, ita incoming. And Zora was like, you're resting your beat on my knee. That's what I say, for though, it's for some zim resting. And then Aisha is talking about how her love language is touched. And Jamie is like, my love language is touched and Jamie's like my love language is touch words of Affirmation quality time and ceilings or in as man those are my kind of things You know my love language is passive aggressive hits

My love languages winning Oscars because I look like two different Oscars winners blended into one person because I look like two different Oscar winners blended into one person. Thank you very much. And she tells us, I can't help this feeling for Coolver, but then there's this thing between Serena and I. Maybe people four I was on the boat, they had this connection, but at the same time, it couldn't have been that serious, could it?

No, I don't think that the connection is serious, and I don't like that she's, again, you know, I'm saying it a million times, but I don't like that's that the connection is serious and I don't like that she's made again, you know I'm saying it a million times, but I don't like that they're making it like oh my god Serena just can't take The rejection and like she's she's so weird. It's not like she he was in love with her It's that her feelings are hurt that you guys are being such fucking assholes to her about it Yeah, like right why her feelings are hurt. It's not the boy. Okay, it's that you guys are flagrantly That's why her feelings are hurt. It's not the boy. Okay. It's that you guys are flagrantly disrespecting her and being shit heads of turfaiths in front of everybody. Yeah. It's humiliating and it's like fucking it's 10 times worse than rejection because you're like laughing about it and think you're being

hilarious and publicly doing it. You suck. You fucking suck. I like you, lady. Yeah, get out of here, lady. So now they all arrive at Fitzroy Island and it's just like, oh my God, I'm so excited to be a land! And there's a guy there, and he starts talking about the Great Barrier Reef and how we basically are destroying it. And so they are working to restore it by growing coral and everything.

And so it kind of splits up into some people ghost-norkeling, some people ghost-scoop- ghost scuba diving to work on the reef. And then I was like, wait, does Adam actually swim? Has he been lying about not being able to swim? Because he's swimming here, or is it just because he has like, um, he has the flippers on. So he's like, okay, to swim. I was a little confused. Oh, I didn't even notice that he was swimming. Well, yeah, I didn't even notice that he was swimming. Well, I'm sorry. How did he? He did it. And then, over in Jamie Kiss underwater,

which is just even more annoying, I don't know, I'm a little over them myself. Yeah, they're like, let's hide. Let's kiss and prove it. In this clear water thing right in front of everybody. Right in front of his life head. Yeah, five head who's still in like fabulous mode, like twirling their dress around.

So then they go to lunch after all of this. I would love to go into the mom long about the coral reef, but I'm literally bored. Guys, go save your coral, hug a coral, okay? Yeah, that's what I have to say about that. So then we go to lunch and Margot's telling Jason whatever we're Adam Adam Adam. She's like You remind me of my sister's boyfriend. You're just so easy to be around me. She's like it's me relaxing to be around I mean sometimes I need to want noise machine in the van and I say edim

Tell me about your childhood and it's just one long Even tone drone and a full-ride sleep every time And actually correction Margo was talking to Scott when she said that because then Adam chimes in and goes wait Then why'd you say his name is Adam? Oh, I meant I meant the boyfriend. Yeah, I said Adam by accident But it was scotch. Because I know I'm lovely woman. I'm sorry.

And so then Adam goes, hey, it's okay, Mago, baby. You could be my fake girlfriend for the day. And Mark was like, oh, okay, I'll be your fake girlfriend. Will you be my fake boyfriend? You'd be such a fun date to anything. You'd be probably, I would actually say that of all the people sitting at the table, you would be the person to have the most fun with on a date. Whether that date were on top of a boat with Sharkudari, whether that date had to go downstairs into

a salon because it started raining, whether that date was at any number of bars we've already been to, you'd probably be the person to have the most fun with. Yeah, I can't think of any other single person here who I'd have fun with. As much fun as with you, Adam. Yeah, I'll be your fake girlfriend, but you'd be my fake boyfriend. He's like sure. And she's like yeah you're so fine. And so Harry's just watching them. He's like we should get a pic together because we're on a date. And she's like I'm so down for a pic. So they take a picture and Harry is telling us, Margaret's shouting to Adam, what's she's chatting with me. Monday she's in my bed, Kuddling, and the next day she's flirting with you.

I don't know what I've done wrong. Oh, Jesus. Is it the patches I'll have on my zits on my face? So, um, yeah. I'm carrying. So now they all go to the beach and then Harry, the right person one day. He will. He will find it.'s gonna be like,

I know exactly. I know exactly in the future because I wanna know who he ends up with. You know, someone did mention that he looks like a young Chris Noth and that is hard to put out of your mind, but he will 100% find someone. I know exactly the sort of person he will wind up with.

I just, because I have gone to a board game convention before so I know I know So Harry wants to put so Harry Harry needs some Sun Tae-An lotion on his back because they've all moved down to the beach and Margo basically ignores him He's like someone put some Sun Tae-An Margo we put some Sun Tae-An lotion onores him. He's like, get someone put some, some tea in the market, we put some some tea in lotion on my beak,

and she's like, hmm, I love the birds in the sky. And then Adam's like, hey Margie, can you put some on my back when you're done? They have to be done with Harry's back. So she goes, I don't know why I'm thinking so long to say that Margot ignores Harry and puts lotion on Adam's back instead. But now she's being like this with Harry because obviously

She wants Harry to like be the one to break up or whatever So she avoids conflict, right, but this is kind of mean It's kind of mean and it's mean of Adam too because Adam knows what he's doing You know what I mean. He knows how much Harry likes her so I'm not really sure why everybody is choosing to be mean You know what I mean it's like a Harry It's like below that you know, and I get that we've seen way meaner a season of below deck than this, but I'm like, why is everybody just hurting each other's feelings on purpose? Because everyone seems so nice.

I know, so then, it's like, they're small infractions, right? But like, I feel like this is broco, this is very bad, this is not small, this is a bigger, is a bigger infraction than Harry is making it. Well, you know, Adam's distracted because his brother got jumped, so that's what's going on with him. So, Culver, like he went the only one who's about to get jumped, bro.

Hey, Ma, tell him that, would you? Tell him to his face, if his face is still handsome. All right, if he's ugly, I don't wanna see him anymore. Yo, if I can just get enough chicks to put lotion on my back, then maybe I can buy a house

for my mom. So Clover is now doing Jamie's back. He's like, you know, always when I'm at home, I make chef Kim put on my essential oils before I go on the boat. And then I go out on the boat all day long. Isn't that a great story? And she's like, oh, is chef Kim your brother? It's my mom.

He's like, she's like, oh, is Chef Kim your brother? It's my mom. He's like, she's like, oh, okay, well, I'm gonna just ignore that little tidbit there because it's kinda creeping me out. And just gonna focus on your dick right now. That's cool, that's Culver's kink. Like you know that he really likes you when he starts going off about this. Like I live on a ranch with shift Kim.

And she covers me in essential oils with her bare hands. I got horses and shift Kim rise them. And I ride them with her in the same saddles. Like he starts telling all this creepy family, like, calm to my ranch. Don't you want to come to my glamourous ranch? And he tells, like his stories all sound like they're both from Montana, but then he sounds like he's from the deep south,

but he's really just in Maryland. So nothing really makes sense. Yeah, he's an odd dude. So then we got, yeah, he's like, I just feel like he builds up this big myth about his life, specifically his mom and his mom rubbing oil in his back between making him dust baby. It's so creepy. I mean, it sounds like we're making it up.

He really does. He's like, yeah, back home, I have she have keen put all my essential oils on. So then we'll see, dude. I don't wanna think about that. I'm like, you're grown. Like, what the fuck, Eddie? Eddie Eta-Pis?, Eddie Etappis?

So Eddie Etappis. Eddie Etappis not to be confused with Eddie Exbit. So now his wow comes out of the ocean and he sort of comes out kind of like the Michelin man, right? Sort of comes on out, little Tyree, you know? And Zarb, oh my god, he's my gold tire He looks good, but he's sort of it looks he kind of has like a husky Michelin man kind of vibe, right?

And Zervina's eyeing him and she's like wow Did anyone else see that did anyone else see that in some ocean? It was that just me whoa ha ha ha ha Was that just me? Whoa, ha-ba-ha-ba-ha-ba. She's like, I think you have the perfect body for a guide, wow, also a thing I'm pretty drunk right now. And he's like, oh, well, thank you. He set up my bed for me like this. It's very nice.

And it's like, come here and give me some attention, too, wow. So he lies next to her on the bed, little bed thing next to her. And she's rubbing his arm and holding his wrist. And she's like, I forget you used to this to all. And he's like, rich part. She's all of it. And she goes, oh fuck, I'm going to fuck it up,

I'm tied. He's been incredible and supportive. And he checks in on me and the galley all the time. And I feel like I have this really good mate. I'm like, yeah, you are gonna fuck it up because you are about to break your own girl code with your best friend. So we'll see how this goes. Yeah, but it looks like, you know, she's like, fuck that. She's a fuck brook. I can always apologize to brook later, but soulver and Jamie are taking pics and Harry's like all right now you guys should take now you guys should kiss I didn't say so each other's faces all

This is crazy Margo Margo's just like sitting on the beach staring at him like please die She's buried herself in the water. Oh, I'm going to the water and get it in my something, please. Please, such a jellyfish. So Harry's like, well, it's far through and I haven't thought about the boat all day long.

And then we see, by the way, Captain Jason, this entire time, he's wrapped himself into a kimono. Like, he's wearing a kimono, one of the guys in big business and he's just sort of like walking around the boat, pouring himself coffee, doing yoga, waving to passing both. He's having a great day. Just wanted to say I'm just like leaning back into one of the deck chairs, having a like fruity drink with a face mask on. So now the crew is going to, now they're on the ferry again and they go across the ocean

to a restaurant and they get there and it's just like, oh look, this is so nice. Like everything is getting you're excited this episode. Yeah. Commissions. Here comes one right now. And Culver is talking to Jamie and he's like, wow, this, uh, this food can be for chef. He's food. It's so good. I can't wait to go home. Four-wheelers, dirt box, water, we have a bunch of horses, got moms to make out with. She's like,

when God wakes up, the first thing he looks at is Jupiter Hala, which is where I live. Jamie's like, yeah, okay, let's just, she's like, hold on one second, Colville, I'm just gonna close my eyes and re-visualize your body. Okay, got it. I'm horny for you again. I went to this psychic and he told me that I would marry

someone who has a farm and that I would be chased by an older lady with something called a Dutch baby in the shotgun for the rest of my life. Apparently I'll suffer some sort of debilitating injury of a cast-iron skill at hitting my skull. But that it will all be worth it in the end, and Serena's just watching them like, Ty and Culver's, like, you know, I'm not even nervous around you. I mean, maybe a little bit in that way of like, God, hope I don't always have to make my own avocado toast.

But you know what? I'm not nervous around you. It's almost like you're a four wheeler or a dirtbuck or a boat or horse. Just one of the things on the ranch that I'm so comfortable with. Can I talk about that stuff again? Please don't. Please don't. I just want to focus on your body right now. So, Serena's like, I thought there's a group day off and not fucking Jamie and Culver's honeymoon. All right, can you just not rub it in my face right now? So she goes to the bathroom before she scowls away.

Like, and so Jamie's like, I feel like she's really angry at us for even talking. I can just see the daggers. It's like she's pissed off. They were drawing up on each other right on her plate. I can't understand why she's so mad at us. Oh such assholes. So Aisha is like, so Adam, Adam, has this experience made you want to move into your team? I do still want to do commercial bouts. And Adam's like, look, look where we are. I mean, God, I wish those kids could see what I'm seeing. I wish my mom could be here to see what I'm seeing. But I promised them by next June

will be in a house. Because we always been in apartments and stuff, but I care about him more than I care about myself, not even joking, I'm living from my family. I'm buying everything from my family, and he won't want to make out with me yet. Anybody want to make out with me yet? He's like, you know what? It's crazy. Because like, this is, we're like a family.

Like, I see all the boys on the deck as brothers and all the girls as sisters Well, I guess I'm trying to say is I want to buy us all a house we could live in I'm obsessed with brothers and sisters. I Even got DVDs of the first four seasons of the ABC show brothers and sisters. God got a Sally Field poster. All right God sometimes I just go into staples to look at all the things that are produced by the company brother. Oh, every one of those printers.

So, I'm going to take all my brothers to see Sister Hacked. Just really going to spend some time with Sisters. Oh man, looks like I'm just checking, oh, looks like my DVD of sisters season one just arrived can't wait Good so Adam's like yes, just great. Oh, okay, so Joua is like oh yeah For me we're different, but we have a lot that's the same for me families first two We connect in many ways family family family family and um like your brother got jumped but guess and there are people who don't

like what does jumped mean and I'm like that is literally how we were brought up I spent my entire childhood jumping from ages 2 to 6 people just don't understand it's just different than him. So then we get a two-hour monologue, which I forgot this monologue. It's just his first season monologue. We've heard this before, but it's sad, you know. He's talks about how, and he's crying. So it was me to make a joke earlier about it. Sorry. But, mean, he's talking about how his trauma is basically the his parents broke up when he was just a little kid and they live in a really dangerous they lived in a really dangerous area and so she was like a sitting duck it's kind of like our planet isn't it when they're like and then the penguin straight

away from the from the the girl and it's like being chased by an orca. That's what it sounds like, but it's Joao's story. Yeah, because Joao talked, we had heard previously that Joao and his mom had suffered through a horrific home invasion, which was always crazy.

And then he says that now, now it's like inflected with this idea that because his parents broke up, there was no dad there to protect them and just him and his mom, and essentially because the parents broke up, there was no dad there to protect them and just him and his mom and essentially because the mom was single that they were, she was an easy target for being robbed. And he says that there were six robberies, six nights in a row, which I don't even remember that part.

That is absolutely crazy. But also by the way, robbers, if you can't do, if you can't clear everything out after two nights, like what are you doing? Honestly, six nights in a row is insane. And Drew out talks about that he, like, I guess he had like a beat on something. We're like, it's just like terrible traumatic story, but like, do they not have pickup trucks? I'm like, why would you have to go back to these in a row?

Is this like a sandwich? We're in a row, like, is this like a sandwich? We're in a bigger bag. What up? Like, now you're just going back to get some forks and knives, like, this is ridiculous. Stupid robbers. This dog can literally sleep through anything, by the way, look at Biela. I'm just writing a script right at him.

I need to even move. No, that is an absolutely horrific childhood memory. Like, it cannot imagine. It is. Yeah. I also feel bad. I mean, I'm not even going to be callous and say, like, well, after night number two, why not go somewhere else?

I have to imagine they did not have the resources to do that. Well, yeah, that's the truth. Yeah. Yeah. And so then, just hard, like after so many hours of below deck and one day to not laugh it, like literally everything. But yeah, it is really. Yeah, but he says like as he tried to shoot at the robbers and then he shot himself and so. Oh my God. And he's crying and he's like and then you may ask like you may ask a parent like how do you let your son shoot themselves, but like I had to like I was I was protecting

my family. And then I asked my mom one day, where do you think I'd be if I didn't join Yachting? And she said that I would be dead or in jail. And he's crying. And it's really sad. It makes you feel for dwell. Do I always pulling off something here? And I'm not saying like, oh my God, love your trauma. Great trauma.

Good score on that trauma. I'm not saying that. But he's kind of pulling something off, which is very rare, which is redemption of a shit head mail on the show, because this show tries it more than Vanderpump rules. And they always fail because they go back right away to their true colors.

And I know it's still early, and I'm not saying that Jouah was like, great now, or anything, but he's doing a good job at getting me to buy it. You know? Because I felt really bad watching this part. I was like, me too. I was like, wow, it's so nice. It needs getting me to buy it. You know, because I felt really bad watching this part. I was like, the wow is so nice, it needs me nice to serena.

What could go wrong? But I also, and I also did appreciate sort of like the one-up smidge. He wasn't one-uping, but it was kind of like, oh, so your brother shoved on the playground. But let me tell you about the time

that we were robbed six nights in a row and I wound up shooting myself with a gun as a result of it. Yeah. So to us, like, well, I could give you my brother's number to get on his boat. It's, I was like, well, where was your brother? Yeah. Well, maybe it's his younger brother. Why didn't he shoot?

Maybe it's a younger brother. Give a baby a gun. Hey, listen, I'm in Texas. You give that baby a damn gun. Okay, they can lean on it while they learn to walk. So, here's the, I'll give you the phone number of. I'm mad at the brother now. Like, that's how sad I am about this story. I'm like, fuck that brother. He did nothing to help. Listen, here's the phone number for my brother. So you could have, you know, they're always looking for people on the boat to

don't know how to do anything because they need some sort of comic relief So give them a call They love people who tie knots backwards They've been looking for more dense on their boat They've been looking for a way to get rid of the ladder on their boat. They don't really know how so I said what aren't you give them a call? So they bond they're bonded over that. Okay, so now people are eating and Margo and Adam are talking now and she's like, so did I get a tan today?

I didn't get any tan lines and he's like, you look like Jessica Simpson, anybody ever told you that? I was like, ooh, wow, it's a, Adam's making the move. Yeah, so then Margo makes like a toast. She's like, not, she doesn't make a toast. She just sort of like clinks with drinks with d Jouah or something like that and Harry is like

Harry then asks Zarina. He's nice as Arrina and he's like said you think you got hook up with with Jouah the season And she's like well, I'm open to it, but it's playing with fire sex ruins a lot and it's different for guys And it is for girls and when we have sex with someone, we instantly have this connection. Although I think probably not with you, I think even with you, we wouldn't even form that connection, no offense. But we can't head a bit, which is why we have to take a step back.

And then Margot is scratching Joao's head. And she's like, if I give you a head scratch, can I have an ECMISSage? She's like, I'll give you an ECMISSage. For free, you don't have to do this for me, Zim. And I'll just say, no, I will. And then Serena is watching this with Harry. They're both watching them.

And Serena's like, you're being friends on to me. You understand that, right? Finally, someone tells Harry. I could then customargo saying, like, I can't wait to visit you in New York for real Can't there's no one else here. I want to visit so then they're all admiring the waiter's legs and they just the love His legs are very toned and talking about leg doing always doing leg day and how do you leg day? I squat and Margot's do yeah, oh well while you surprised Well, you just look like you have very lean, long, 13-year-old

pre-pubescent legs. That's all. Mary's like, all right, well, then everybody just have a crack on me. And is that what it? Have a crack on me, then, whatever. And so she's like, hey, where are you mad at me, all of a sudden? He's like, nah. She's like, come on.

Are you mad at me? And he chucks his martini just like giving her a smile across like, I am mad and you're gonna get this devilish smile about it. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, so they decided to walk off to have a talk. Okay, it was like, oh, love us, Tiff. So they sit down and Mark was like, oh, so you hate me now? Like what? Like I can't just ignore you all day and be really cool to the icy to you and all of a sudden you got to hate me for it.

And he's like, no, not at all. I think you're amazing. I was like, oh God, Harry, I believed in you for one second, but you can't even stay mad. And he's wearing this is so sad, okay, because I used to recap bachelor and they always, the rose is the symbol of the bachelor, right? And so when you're about to dump somebody, you take them on a one-on-one.

And then if they prove themselves, if they have a good enough trauma, basically, they tell a traumatic story. And then if you like their traumatic story, you give that person the rose, and then that's the symbol that they can come. And poor Harry is wearing a whole collar of roses. Oh.

And he's about to get disaster. Like he had to bring his own roses, and he's about to get a sastom. Like he had to bring his own roses and he's about to get sent home in a helicopter in the middle of an island. I just feel for him. Yeah, poor Harry. And Margot was like, well, you were really sassy to me.

I mean, so I was like, well, Harry and I are having our first fight. And he goes, well, I feel like we had the talk where we're going to be chill and go with the flow and they were all we good friends, all we like we had the talk where we're like gonna be chill and go with the flow and nail with all we good friends, all we like cuddle bodies, like I just want to know what you want because like I'll see Calvin and Jamie and I'm like Oh, that's nice and I'm like, what am I doing? What am I not doing to get there? Well, first of all, puberty, you should probably do that first.

First know what I'm there to do. Puberty. Maybe you should see someone about hormones, okay? Okay, look, sometimes I'm like, always just my friend vibes, but then randomly, I'll have vibes where I like you more than a friend, but then I change my mind. I don't know, you know, and I don't want to be like giving you the wrong impressions, but I honestly don't know what's going on in my brain either. I just want it to be how it has been, you know,

where I like, firt with you when I'm drunk, but then I'm kind of reposted by you and icked out by you in the daytime. Can we get that way? And he's like, yes. He's like, okay, it's like, yeah, we can chill together. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that like sometimes I see you as a friend and other times I see you as a friend.

So I guess I'm kind of scrambled. Are you like a friend or you just like a friend? I don't know. You know what? You do not get this rose, but you do get this daffodil. But I'm going to paint the daffodil to look just like a rose. Okay? You can have that. Oh

Okay, you know what? You know what? I've decided to give the daffodil rose to someone else. I want to eat that. Can you eat that? Do you mind? Here's just like a sticker of a smiley face and you just put that on something That red paint I put on the daff I mean it had lead in it. I'm allergic to that You want to cuddle? It's cuddle. Oh, so I realized I only am attracted to you when I'm going through a lead episode.

That makes more sense. Gah. Ah. Ah. So, you're colored Harry poisoning. You're right. I'm gonna Harry. Thankfully, Harry gets the picture.

He realizes it. Like, I was a little worried that he still wouldn't realize it. And he's basically like, still saying there's a chance then. But he's not. He's like, OK, I feel good and I feel awful. She says she likes me sometimes. Friend zone party one. So yeah, they hug and mark us.

Oh, we'll be friends forever, I think, right? Key word, there's friends, they hug and mark us. Oh, we'll be friends forever. I think, right? Keyword. There's friends, though. Okay. Friends. And does. Can we be friends forever while shopping at AutoZone together? Forever getting the zone.

Auto zone. And I know you're about to guess at me with, oh, oh, oh, oh, Riley, but that's not the point of me saying AutoZone, Harry. So Serena is watching Culver rubbing Jamie's butt and she's like, really? And so now it's time to go. So everybody gets in the vans and Margot gets in with Adam, Asha and Scott.

And Asha and Scott are in the back and she gets in with Adam. And who cares? Who cares where people are sitting? They get back to the butt. And Serena is passing by Culver, who just cut out of the band. And she goes,

slut! Ha ha ha ha ha! I was like, and just starts laughing. I mean, just the drunk way she did is she goes, she looks right at the camera, she goes, slut! It was like, young New Seal Blues, was slught. It was like young,

the seal booth. Good for you. So Jamie is like, I was so unnecessary. It actually makes me call the angry now. And covers like, Oh, she was talking to me. She ain't talking to you. It's like her banter.

It's like when chef Kim is like, come and get it. Dutch babies just banter. She's like, well, I don't think it's funny banter on angry now. On wearing a hat, this is angry at the shift. I hope that's not too obvious. He's like, it'll get better.

And she's like, no funny. So then Harry is asking if anybody's coming for a hot tub, but Asian, Scott are just cuddling in like a mess. There's not a bunch. Cuddled all over each other on the mess bench. And if you want to talk about fabulous, by the way, as they set up the hot tub, we get a jellyfish that is so fabulous that the screen is split up

into six different pains and the jellyfish extends over two of them, it's that. It's like such a sassy jellyfish that gets two frames. Pretty amazing. Those are really fabulous fish, the jellyfish. They really are. And they're like the most feared, right? Because they're the ones most likely to sting you

and you never really see them coming. Yeah, they're very, they're like the biggest celebrities in the ocean, because you just can't approach them. They're just like the hot girls at the party. I think like everybody is a, I think every fish is afraid of jellyfish too, right? Those are fuckers. They're better, really.

Jellyfish will fuck you up. Okay, so they definitely are like the quintessential like stereotype of like Hot Girls in LA, which is that they're just like gorgeous. You can approach them and there's not a lot going on with them either. Jelly, I feel like there is so much going on with them because they're just like always,

it's like fabulous all the time. Like I watch them just move through the water. I'm like, is so much going on with them because they're just like always it's like fabulous all the time Like I watch them just move through the water. I'm like how are you just floating through life? Yes, have you ever seen a jellyfish washed up? Where they like wash up on the beach and they look like you know when you pop when you're blowing bubbles with gum And then you just like kind of close the bubble off, but then you just let it slowly deflate and then you just like kind of close the bubble off, but then you just let it slowly deflate on your lips. That's what they look like, and you're like, oh my god, you're just like such a trash gumfish.

I know, that's literally nothing, but you see them in their element, and they're like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, like gorgeous. And then in the day on the sand, they're like, aww, you know what I mean? Whoa! They're totally Instagram fish, where they just like, in the right lighting, you're totally catfished by the jellyfish. Exactly.

So anyway, the hot tub is going and, and Asha is, she's saying the sweet, honestly, she's saying the sweetest things about Scott saying how like you know he's like Scott sees me for like we're not super similar but like Scott just sees me for exactly who I am and loves every part of it which is actually like I find to be very very sweet I was like oh and know, she talks about her parents and like going to divorce and her mom struggles alcoholism and scot just like provides stability in her life

and he just gets her and, you know, it's like, I was like, I love Scott Nation. So then we go to the hot tub and it's Jawao, Adam, Harry, and Jamie, okay. So Jawa's like, Jamie, we're the other ladies. I'm gonna go find Shiffie. So he leaves and he knocks on her door and he's like, come to the Jacuzzi, it's warm.

And she's like, no. And he lays with her a little bit. Yeah, his wet body, getting her sheets wet. Yeah. To the point where like, yeah, because, you know, he's like, my time with Zarina has been great It's like she's like the zim of women and naturally you don't cuddle with someone you're not attracted to and I'm I mean to it I don't know if she is but I am and I will if you will so alive

So and then he gets up and you see the sheets. There's like a puddle on her bed. I was like oh And she's like I'll see you later for Carlos then. She passed the bed. He's like, okay. And then he leaves and she just goes, really? Can't even keep it to wow in here. Put on my, I'll just put on my not to brace and eat some crayons to sleep. So then we see Margot and the, and the mess and she's like digging into some sort of like leftover vegetables whatever. She's like, I just need some nutrients and then she just sort of was sitting there and just goes, just let's have this burp. This little little baby burp. So Jamie is with Culver and Harry in the hot tub. So she's like, so Harry, how are you doing? And he's

like, you know, just chilling. She's, um, well, I guess I don't want to make it awkward, hey, so I'll just move away from Culver who is about to fucking the hot tub until you refuse to leave after I hinted you. And I'll sit over here now. And he just cracks up. And Culver, it's like, you think this is awkward? Well a lot of things have been awkward and here he's like, oh god. Here we go. So he's like, if she fancy someone and one of his good-mates sweeps in his snacks and then that is a shit-feeling, you know? I know the feeling and that's even harder for Sheffi because she has to work and live with you guys living in close quarters close quarters and covers like, that's not my problem. And Jamie's like, yes, it is your problem.

What the fuck, man? Yeah, because and Harry's like, yeah, he's like, you know, the way you're eating that food tonight in front of Zarina, that's not very nice. And Jamie's like, yeah, but Jamie's like, you're making me look like the bad person and Colvers getting away with everything. And like, I'm the one that's receiving hate

when all I did was come in and sort of just respect the person who said that she's into you. And Culver's like, hey, it would be one thing of shefying our boyfriend and girlfriend and we had a kid and she made me dutch babies and we went mountain biking together and pet the horses and went fishing on the boat back at the ranch. God, I love that ranch.

Maybe if you put essential oils on my back just like my mom would. I don't know, but we're not. Maybe if she just came, you know, she was the kind of girl to just come in with seven of my babies wearing an apron that says, shift camp on it. I mean, maybe then, but we're not. You know, I mean, like I'm as single as they come. And Jamie's like, well, then I think you need to sail ahead sell her that and she's like I don't even know what was going on So she's mad. Well, she mad at him wasn't she mad at him. She's mad at me. She is mad at him

She just called him a slut and yesterday she pushed him and she's not feeding him So this is not a situation where the man is getting away with everything He is getting in trouble, but you deserve it too. Yeah, exactly. Because those are the sets where you both are being dicks. You both are fuckers. So, Clever's like, but I won't get fed anymore. Cause she says you got set a balance tree.

He's like, I won't get fed anymore. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I to make nothing. Like you have failed. Your son is terrible to women and he doesn't even know how to cook. Is Chef Kim even real? Is she a person or is she like a brand of frozen meals that you eat? Because I'm not even believing

that this woman exists at this point. And if she does, she's done a terrible fucking job. That would be an amazing twist of psychosis. Chef Kim is like, this like psychosis of chef Kim is like. This like doesn't even exist or is like long day. She's the logo on a frozen meal. She's a skeleton in the attic. So, uh,

Culver's, so James, I'm like, I don't care if you don't get fat anymore. I'm saying I like you and you know I like you. So Harry's like, Oh, I should probably go. This is getting awkward. I'm like, yeah, you should have gone 20 minutes ago.

They're trying to bone. So Culver is like, oh, I should probably go, this is getting awkward. I'm like, yeah, you should have gone 20 minutes ago. They're trying to bone. So Culver's like, listen, Jamie, I would fucking starve just to have you. I would. I would do that. She's like, so they kiss. Yeah, I mean, goes, yeah, I have to tell chef, he's just, you need to tell her, I'll love you food, but I want to fuck Jamie. He's like okay

so Jowal and Margot are still eating now. They're on to like two other Tupperwares like they're going to town Yeah, and Margot goes wait a minute. Are we okay? Are we sure that this is okay? We're okay, right? And he goes no Yes, yes, really okay. has no, we're not okay. I don't know what they're talking about, but I'm surprised. They're surprisingly like them together. Yeah. So now it's the morning and everyone's cleaning and stuff and you know, it's just making Scott a coffee.

And now she has this, now it's time for Scott to leave. So Jason comes by to say goodbye and And Jason does that thing where he like slaps Scott on the arm, but his hand just comes in so strong. He's like, like that big sort of like burly Australian man slap on the shoulder thing. And I'm surprised Scott was still standing after that. And so Ace is crying and she's like, Hey, did my sad part is it now?

I never, it's like, I can't even say it, God is it now? I never did slow down. You lay down in the mirror. Hello. Yes, Gordon, I was saving up to buy a house in New Zealand. Hopefully we could do that. Oh, yeah, for your brothers and sisters. No, just boss.

And your brothers and sisters, though, right? No, just to two of us. And and brothers and sisters. Is this such a thing as a house without brothers and sisters in it? I don't understand. What kind of life is this? So Culver is pacing around and watching Serena out the window. Okay, so he's freaking out, right? Because he has to go have have this talk because she's outside smoking. And so he's watching from the window, like, Oh God, oh God, avocado toast window like oh god oh god avocado toast avocado toast properly seasoned avocado toast you can do this call yeah so he's

like this would be an awkward one like the way I eat he's my metabolism going which is so annoying when people in shape always do that thing like but I got to eat so he goes up to her and he's like, hey, I just wanna check in on you. I saw you eating some crans out here. Were you upset last night? She's like, well, I'm just feeling quite defeated. That's it. She's like, well, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

I just wanted to remind you of your place in this world. I'm a jock, your weirdo, et cetera, et cetera. So I hope you don't take it too personal. And it's like, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. And she says, I know you didn't. I think it's just one of the sole ego moments. My head used to be so after that fucking head gear. You know what I mean?

You don't really know how much molars can hurt after eating a 24 box of crayon. Really. You know, the thing is with Jamie, I think with her, she just clocked what was going on and heard a step in and just kind of like that girl code thing that's someone I can't trust. So anyway, I'm gonna go and hit on Jouah a little bit

if I get any text from her friends, just say I'm busy. Yeah, and this was shitty too, because he's like, well, Jamie thinks you hate her and she wants you guys to get along. So, like, isn't it, because he's like, well, Jamie thinks you hate her and she wants you to, you guys to get along. So, like, isn't it, can't you just apologize? Yeah, don't worry. You already are scanning up for this girl. Yeah, and like, like sort of pushing forward the narrative that, like, there's tension between the two of you, which there is, but like, don't drag Jamie into this, just apologize for yourself.

All right, it's like, I'm gonna come to you to like barely apologize. That was like a barely apology if I've ever seen one. But also stick up for the girl that I offended you with. Like put a piece of shit. So she's like, listen, it's the first time that I've been rejected. And I'm not gonna be a jealous bitch about it. It's just crack on.

All right, it's just crack on with it. And that's all he had to do. You know, The whole time. So now we have a preference sheet meeting. The next primary is named Emily Montstreet, which is not a good sign if your last name sort of sounds like Monts. It's like literally Montser spelled with like a minor variation. So she's an American investor who basically got stranded in Australia during the pandemic and then now move there. And now that's like her new home. So she wants an American investor who basically got stranded in Australia during the pandemic and then now move there and now that's like her new home. So she wants to bring all her newest friends on vacation. And so Jason is like worried about the deck team mainly because they keep ruining the boat.

They keep damaging the boat every single charter. So he's really concerned. He's like, please this time, don't do anything catastrophic. For real. Okay. So another all getting ready. And Margot is telling nobody. She's like, ah, mirrors my worst enemy.

And then we see the deck crew having a meeting and to a while it's like giving them, he's like, listen, you know, we're gonna, you know, get this together this time. Blah, blah, blah, we're gonna prep lines. We're gonna do this, we're gonna do that. Well, I'm gonna be your team, blah, blah, we're gonna prep lines, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that, we're gonna be your team later. Just a little bit of constructive criticism, though. For instance, just sort of speaking theoretically, if the boat seems like it is hurtling

towards the dock, maybe through a fender in between the boat and the dock, things like that. in the dock, things like that. If it looks like a boat is about to, a tender is about to slam into the railing, maybe slow down the hook. Just things like that, just putting that out there. Okay, so if I have to be the bad guy, I'm going to be the bad guy. And to us, I mean, Colver's just like staring off in the space. He's like, Colver, did you understand what I said? I'm basically a non-home-cooked meal. Colors like, oh man, it's not been mean to me. That's terrible.

So now the deck team is setting up a path, the pass or a 30 minutes, the guests arrive. And the guests come, yeah. And with the guests, take a tour through the boat. And they're like, oh, I guess this is our room, right? And this girl named Tamar Tamarai. It's like, no, we need this room. And they're like, no, that room was already called.

She goes, no, we need the desk. We need the desk, honey. You need to do something about that. We need the desk. She's gonna be a monster. She's very Jennifer Connelly looking you know like a thank you that's who I was trying to come up with in the last recap Jennifer Connelly the freckle face oh was it really yeah for coming full circle it was Jennifer Connelly

well stunner that lady she is she is, like gorgeous. So she's not from Train Spiding, she's from the other drug movie. Lapras. No. They're one for a dream. Yeah, it's with Ellen Bernstein. Right? Ellen, Ellen, Ellen Berson. Ellen Bernstein.

Ellen Bernstein, Ellen Bernstein is not in that movie, but she recently saw it and she says, Fae, didn't like it, didn't care for it. Oh Ellen, come on, it was good. Now I didn't care for it. I didn't understand it. It was a refrigerator biting up a person. That doesn't make sense.

Well, I love that we got to Jennifer Connolly. Thank you. I would have woken up in the middle of the night. I'm still worried about that. So yeah, but she looks like Jennifer Connelly playing the role of a like wealthy, entitled person. And so she's like, if I would look like Jennifer Connelly, I would be 10 times more of a nightmare than I am now. I'm already pretty bad. Jennifer Connelly had a really important role in Top Gun Maverick. I mean, remember that scene where she had to take Tom Cruise on a boat around the harbor? Wow. Yeah, that was pivotal. Yeah.

She's so important. I know. Bless her heart. So, um, they, she's pissed about the room basically. And so the guys like, okay, I guess we'll have a conversation, but the other room's not that much better. I'm just like, it doesn't have a desk. So then the lines come up. She's like a desk off the sheet. So full of things. And it doesn't look like a nice comfortable desk either. You know, she's like, she's just gonna be like, she's like a notary. She's just like, I need a desk to be able to put my stamp on it.

Okay, you can't do it on my lap. She has to have a desk. So they're doing the lines and Adam's like, last time we docked, I fucked up. I can't afford to fuck up. I really can. And so the line turned in and it's clear to wing and swing and they do it and Margot's in a laundry.

And she's trying to come up with people's names and she's like to come up with people's names and she's like Victoria Emily question mark question mark Are we okay? Am I okay? Do I love Harry? Does Harry love me? Do I love cheese are people really allergic to cheese? Is that a thing? It's Wisconsin even a real place. Am I from a real place? So the ever so then all of a sudden everything gets quiet on the show. They cut the music.

So people are just walking around. And whatever, it's like a horror movie. You know what's the music goes away? That's when the real shit's going to happen. That's when something's going to jump out of you. So we know there's about to be a catastrophic failure because we just see the deckeys saying, all right, like, what's Pappé for Anca?

Let's get the, we're going to have an Anca ready. Adam, can you come do the anchor first? Can you get ready to do the anchor? So Adam comes out of his room. It's all quiet. And he goes over to the anchor area. He's all alone. That's even more quiet.

So we just know he's about to fuck something up. If this is, yeah, this is really bad when they stop playing any kind of music on the low deck at all. Like, we're not even getting that. Boom. Yeah, nothing. So he just goes over to the anchor. The boat is going full steam ahead.

Like this boat is like ready to circumnavigate the globe. It's going so fast. And Adam just, he just lets the anchor go. He's like, okay. He just doesn't see an anchor. Look what the fuck. What? And the anchor just starts the anchor. Look what the fuck. What?

And that anger just starts going down. I don't know. And the captain's like, stop, stop. And he goes, yeah, I tried to engage the anchor and it slipped down and now it's just going down. Like, what was he supposed to do the anchor again? I don't know, but I feel like he shouldn't be touching it if they're like, it's not even remotely close.

They're like, I think it was like getting to position to start the anchor, but don't touch the anchor, right? Oh my God, I don't know, but they called him for anchor. So I was like, what are they calling for the anchor? Because I wasn't really paying that close attention. I was just like, what's gonna happen? But the fact that he just walks over

with their garden full speed ahead and just drops the anchor. So, and then the captain's like, no, no, stop, stop. And he goes, yeah, yeah, I tried to engage it. I'm like, what are you talking about? You literally just walked over and caused me how. And luckily he did, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

It was a Topo Chico hiccup. It looks like he totally just did that on purpose, right? Yeah, it looked like he just was not paying attention. So, you know, and Joao has become really good at the cliffhanger monologue, you know, he's like, we've got a moving boat. We're not even in Zimbabwe. We've got an anchor that's free spooling. And if you do not stop the anchor, it's like releasing tons and it just gains momentum. And you just, you cannot stop it. And is the boat going to be pulled

to the side? Are we going to lose anchor? Are we going to sail off to Zimbabwe? That anchor chain can whip up and take your fucking head. That anchor could come flying out of the ocean, chop off all your heads, and then turn into a monster and fly off into hell, and destroy the entire earth. What will happen next? Hmm. Darn, darn, darn, to be continued.

So that brings us to the end of Blodic, down on the... Oh. Wow, that's a lot. I don't know. Adam is he's a disaster. He's a real disaster. I think he needs to go back to Brooklyn. He can't stay on the show, right? He's fucked up so much. And I feel like this one has to be, yeah, this has to be the end for Adam. I don't see how he's going to be able to make it through this line, but who knows. Yeah, that's bad. But anyway, this is at the very least, this is the end for us. We're at the end of the road, boys to men's style.

Thank you all for listening. We'll be back with Real House's of Orange County, and we also have our crappy lake finale to discuss. And we also have our Southern Charm trailer to analyze on Patreon. So join us for those and until then, thanks for being here. We'll catch you in the next one. Bye! Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors!

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