Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Down Under: Margot-rita Madness

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Margot gets a shot at being second stew and the guests put her through the wringer. Will she be able to make eight specialty drinks in a row AND save the life of a choking man? We believe in ya, babe! This week's premium bonus is a recap of Crappie Lake. Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Watch what! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Oh, hello, and welcome to Watch what! It's a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about in the old bros. I'm Ronnie. It's been over there. Hello, Benoons. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. I'm still having a palm springs moment for the second episode of below deck down under. So that's why I made look and sound a little odd today.

How's your life going over there, sweet guy? Everything is really wonderful over here. I'm just excited. We're midway through our week of podcasting, lots of fun content we've been doing. So yeah, I'm great. I'm feeling great. Love it. Well, everybody, this is our second below deck episode of the week. It is also on video as all of our episodes are now. So if you don't want cheese, go onto our crap and it's on demand, on our Patreon, that's also where you will find all of our bonus episodes. This week is going to be a trailer trash,

a shot by shot breakdown of the Southern Charm trailer. So join us for that, that'll probably come out at the end of the week. We've also got a fresh new dwell hello on Wendry Plus coming out. That's our House Hunters and House Hunters International recap podcast.

Super fun. And next week, next Monday, we have Crapi Hour, because it's the first and third Monday of the month. Are we gonna do that? It's a holiday, but we're still doing it. Oh, you know what? We're gonna do it on Tuesday. So we do Tuesday instead.

We'll do it on Tuesday. Okay, so we're gonna We'll do Tuesday instead. We'll do it on Tuesday. Okay, so we're going to do it on Tuesday instead next week. But crappy hour is our live show where we just chill with you guys. This time we're going to do it on Instagram live. We're also going to be doing it on YouTube live for those of you who would rather watch it on YouTube or interact that way. We'll leave a link in the Instagram. So you're still going to need the Instagram to figure all this out.

But either way, we're figuring out new ways to do it every week. But that's what we're doing next Tuesday, 5.30 pm, Pacific time. And today is the second episode of the week, season two, episode 13, of Below Deck Down Under. It's entitled The Wheel of misfortuneortune and I hope it doesn't involve Van a white falling down because that's not what I need to see on my television. All right. That would be quite the misfortune, I would have to say.

It would be terrible. Terrible turn of events. Like let's let's protect Van a white at all costs. Okay. Yeah, I know. Seriously. let's protect Vanna, why did it all cost? Okay. Yeah, I know, seriously. So yeah, so we're at the final day of this, of this like sort of unremarkable charter with these sort of generic people.

And Jason is telling Jh'waw that he wants to bring in a lead deck hand. That's like his big plan. And Jh'waw's like, well, at the end of the day, I think I can get Adam to figure out his stuff and be on my side to work. I don't think I can do it with Clover. I've been working with him on deck

and it's been quite tough, you know, I mean, there's only so many protein shakes you can hide from the man before he totally loses his mind. Well, I'm not going to dismiss Royals opinion. I think your situation with Clover can be managed and it's something that he'll learn while learning to manage it. You see, he'll learn to manage it, but it'll also learn to learn to manage it.

And for me, the anchor thing with Adam was too close for comfort. Now, that was a very overrated television show in the 80s. I'm just saying that to Trigger Ben. Well, on a wheel of misfortune and discomfort. So how do you think that would be? Well, if you want to drive this field circle with our previous below deck recap, too close for comfort featured a mom named Muriel.

Muriel, as in Muriel's wedding, Australian film, but also Muriel, the actress who played Muriel, when I saw into the woods in 1989 as a child also Muriel, the actress who played Muriel, when I saw into the woods in 1989 as a child, Muriel played the witch. So it all comes to Franklin. It wasn't Bonnie Franklin. I mean, like a per name now. Okay, Muriel.

Is there a... Bonnie Franklin's name wasn't Muriel on too close for comfort. Bonnie Franklin was a redhead because redheads were in at that time. That was only Franklin. No, I'm too close for comfort. Muriel was played, Muriel Rush was played by Nancy D'Salt, of course, Nancy D'Salt. And yeah, Nancy D'Salt is, she's still alive, okay? So she played the witch when I, yeah, Nancy to Salt is she's still alive. Okay.

So she played the witch when I saw it, which was, I think she was the witch. She, at the very least, she was definitely in into the woods when I saw it. And I was very excited as a little boy. I was like, oh my god, it's the mom from Duke clothes for comfort. Yeah, it says, oh, she took over. She took over as the witch and into the woods. Yeah. And from 1879. This is Bonnie Franklin. Wasn't this who was in too close for comfort?

Look at the picture on it. Bonnie Franklin was in, no, Bonnie Franklin was in, um, this is it, this is it. There's a lot that you, it's one day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time. Oh, I don't even know what to close for a comfort day. So, okay, let me look down on that. Oh, shit.

Jim, two goes for a comfort. Is with Jim J. Bullock and he had Ted Knight as the dad. He was like a cartoonist. It was like sort of the same thing as, it was honestly almost the exact same show as one day at a time. It was like a mom and a dad. They own a townhouse, or like the owner building in San Francisco, and the daughters live downstairs in Jim J. Bullock is in the mix and wackiness. I'm way too young for that one.

Okay, Donnie, remember it. Okay, so sorry, Bonnie Franklin. You're fine. Sorry for saying fuck Bonnie Franklin. I don't want Bonnie Franklin. Some were listening to this. Like, what I did what I think she died actually. Well then you know what? Guess what? You can get our our podcast is so popular you can even get it in heaven. Okay. Oh she died. This is getting too close for podcasts or release

guys. Okay. We talk about will in this fortune. She's she Franklin deserve that. Bobby Franklin Will and misfortune. She's, she's from Franklin deserve that. Bobby Franklin did not deserve that. She died in 2013. It's a while now, actually. But she is, of course, the fashioners. She is the fashion, um, in spell for Caroline Manzo. So, you know, she is still with us to this day.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So basically, the captain is like, safety is more important than, you know, Adam's mom getting a house, you know, in like how many every years, you know, he's like, for me, the anchor thing with Adam was too close for comfort years ago. I pulled into Singapore and I saw a crew member die.

Same thing, a chain going in, things things happen. We need to be responsible on deck. You really don't understand how bad it can be until you're holding the head of a man whose head was lopped up and flung all the way over to your boat from like two decks, from two from two docks over. All right. How does he not lead with this story, by the way? Like, why did it take a whole like episode and a half to get to the point like, oh by the way, yeah, this is dangerous because I saw someone die from it when I pulled into Singapore once. Yeah, it's like he's upping the story like he has to justify it to Jowl. You don't have to justify shit to Jowl, okay? I don't need a beheaded head to believe you. You're the captain, okay? Now get on your fucking

speedos and take charge, budgie. And I just want to remind you another thing, about another thing, dropping the anchor whilst we're on the way, inappropriate. So the boat is heading into port, and there's bad visibility and people are packing, and Jamie's like, I need to get my spray jacket, and Mark was like, oh, I love how you call it a spray jacket,

and she's like, well, what do you call it? She's like, I call it a hot dish jacket, you know, because they were invented to wear while you eat hot dishes, because hot dishes can be sloppy. But then it reigned at a hot dish competition and someone realized that the jackets were a waterproof. So now we wear them when it rains too. Sometimes we do put tater tots on them if that's your next question. Yes, that is. That is a tater. Jacket those are so good. They're delicious. You just put a jacket

on a table and load it up with tater tots and just go to town. And she's cool. It's really hard to get those out of your team. So they're docking and Adam tells us, let's tell them we were docking. I made an incredible mistake and also I haven't stopped thinking about the anchor situation since it happened and as we come into the dock, I'm so worried that I'm gonna make another mistake here. Maybe it's because I'm not thinking about

I'm docking, I'm thinking about the anchor situation when I was doing the anchor situation, I was thinking about my mom, when I was thinking about my mom, I'm thinking about Kangaroo Jack, when I'm watching Kangaroo Jack, I'm thinking about Anka, I guess I'm always thinking about the wrong thing at the wrong time, so.

But everything works, so that was lucky, you know? So it's goodbye's times. And yeah. Wait, wait, wait. A very important maritime moment, we got dolphins. This episode brought us dolphins frallicking underwater, did you notice that? No, how did I miss the dolphins?

I don't know. I feel like this was the first time we got dolphins. Yeah, the fenders went in, they docked, and then we just see dolphins underwater just joyous to thank you for not crashing this boat on our home. Thanks, so much. I know where they were like, excuse me, were you the boat that just be headed

or sister to the dolphin? I'm the anchor. You dropped an anchor in the channel. That's like a no anchor zone. We have an agreement. They're like out for revenge. Wait a minute. When did, when did dolphins start murdering people?

So Emily, the, the main is telling them by and she's like, I would say Harry tolerated our monocetan minus sexual harassment very well. The food was very good. God, I enjoyed how you worked Tomahawks into literally every meal. That was amazing. Thank you so much. See you later.

And so they leave and everyone changes into blues and starts cleaning. And then Zarina is calling. She needs like a deck. So she calls like, you know, she asks she asks Adam to help her fetch boxes and Jason calls you out into the bridge. And while that happens, the new deck hand, we don't know yet, text Jason and basically the opposite of Culver's text in the beginning of the season, Culver wrote all caps like,

can't wait to be there. And this guy's like, thanks for the opportunity. I feel like that's tomorrow. So we can already tell there's a tonal shift in the new person. Tunal shift, tonal shift approaching. So the captain's like, well, now, Jouah, I've taken into account what you said. My decision is to let Adam go,

based solely on deck experience, anchored drop while we're underway. Now listen, there needs to be a change. However, the cool for issue is an issue. So I'll also talk with Coolver and I'll let him know he's very, very lucky to have such a body that he can eat. How many of the calories he'd like to. Now, this is a small guy. He's got a little boat experience, big boat experience and no one can recognize him because he has no facial features. As you can see from his detailed free image on this CV,

I like that they blur out somebody like, oh my God, what if they're bringing in like Clint Eastwood? You know, it's not a huge surprise. We've never seen this person before. Oh my God, it's Ryan Reynolds. So Jason's like, you know, it's tough. It's never nice to let someone go. I like Adam. I've got a lot of empathy for him.

I appreciate his strange fixation on some Kangaroo movie from the 90s. I don't know what that's all about. I've got a lot of empathy for him. And he's been trained commercially to a very high level of an aptitude. It's like a real, real next level in aptitude that he's gone. And he's got some good certification, however, on deck, there's been two mistakes, unfortunately, I'm six charters in, and I cannot have unreliability on deck anymore.

I mean, after all, this is a 1977 fishing troller that was converted into an adventure yacht. Okay, we can't have that, especially if we only have one prop, which we have. Adam, your expedition has ended. You've got a single prop, get the fuck outta here. All right, so we've got to do the tip meeting now, and he's like, good shadow. We need to do better. Dick Tame, we know we're gonna, we know what we've gone wrong. Let's do better. $15,000 tip. As for the helmet, the only person that deserves it is the person who got me the Budgie Smugglers this week, and that is a shower. It's a very small prostitut to be able to get kept in his budget. All right, everyone.

Everyone is still here as a job. Go ahead and go cleaning. Not so fast, Adam. Aren't you hanging out here for a second? So he's like, where when Adam, I'll have a chat here for a second. And you're like, the first you're talking shark pass. Cause you're like, I'm really upset.

I don't want to see Adam get fired. And then we see this shark. He's like smiling right into the camera and moving his mouth. Like, I've got Paul fucking Adam. That mom's never going to get a house now. I wrote down halitosis shark because this is the shark that felt like had halitosis. I was like trying to choose some gum to cover it up and all the other fish, like,

it's like a teacher's geometry. So it was eating an apple. The geometry teacher's out. It's always eating an apple. The geometry teacher is out. That was a deep cut. So I'm honestly, I'm just basically to scratch through an axe. I'm just basing this off of a geometry teacher I had at one point. I loved her.

But she would always walk up with an apple. She was always eating an apple and she always had a coffee in her hand and the combination was always smelled really bad and she talked very close. And she always be like, let me see that proof that you're working on and this apple crunching in coffee smells too much. You're like, let me see the proof of you owning a toothbrush. Just one day. Just one day.

Here's my compass and let it direct you towards a mint. So the captain's like, now you know, I went into this charter. I wanted a hundred percent from people and Adam, I think you're great, but you just don't have the experience on super yachts and that anchor being dropped underway. That's, that's where I draw the line. All right, we're going to let you go. Now, I need someone with more excitement. But my mom, all right. Now listen, I know that

your mother's a problem. You were going to buy her a home. Fortunately, you still can work on cargo ships and people are turning cargo containers into homes. So do you think your entire family can maybe fill into a container cargo container cargo? Do you think that's possible? Okay, so you think that's possible. Listen, I know that you have been working hard to give your mom a home. And I do respect that. So I, Captain Jason, I'm gonna do something very kind for you. I'm getting you a house.

Season one, house MD DVD. Here you go, enjoy it with your mom. Okay. All right, now here's your walking papers on the house. All right, here you go enjoy it with your mom. All right. Now here's your walking papers on the house. All right. Here you go. There's another one for you. You hold on. Yeah. Go all like it's a house. It's a house. It's a house. It's a cat. Here's a CD for you. It's called now that's what I call house music. Enjoy it. Got some sick beats on it. So Adam tells Harry, Harry's like,

what are we gonna do to die, bro? Hulk? And Adam's like, I'm going, I'm going, bro, I'm going. He's like, you're leaving. Oh, she's, oh, she's, oh, she's, oh, she's, oh, she's, oh, she's, oh, she's, oh, she's, I'm not leaving. They fired me. They did not. I'm glad. They're leaving me, I'm leaving. There are multiple ways to leave.

You are still leaving. You're leaving. Yes, believe it or not, you are leaving. So then Israel goes and tells Culver that I'm going home and that Alidda can't come again. And Israel says, now by the way, I will say this. I'm going to cross my arms to say this because this is how we announce things in Zimbabwe. Eyes were set on both of you.

The decision was made mutually, but at the same time, there were a lot of ups and downs as to who would actually be going home. Because you know what, Adam is a really good worker as well, and you have to understand, there's a lot of pressure on you, and I do believe that the captain's going to speak to you, so he just wants a good deck team, So just get ready to get yelled at you, motherfucker. Haha. And over's like, what the God crazy? Well, I'm not going to give fire. What is he even talking about? Just like this guy is a fucking idiot. I can't even get you. Sure, I was losing his mind. Cover's like, but I got a spot in the sea suite because I'm the CEO of Falling Around here.

Don't know what I mean, I was like, okay. Colbert just always gets this look like nobody has ever just, he's like too cute to disagree with. He's like, but I eat non-hundred grams of protein a day. He will fire me. Oh, he's like that. Thanks for while. Appreciate it. You're a comment. Joe. Well, he's like, that's Joe. Well, I think

that's a Jason calls him. Joel to, by the way, I don't think anyone understands how his name is pronounced or expelled, right? He's like, appreciate it. Yours and man. So then Zaryn, Zarina and Culver are talking and he tells her that they just fired Adam and she's like, Oh no, oh boy. Oh god. And it begins Culver's like, yeah, like a protein did him in in the end.

Right. So then the back strength to walk away, look at him toeing him off the boat down there. Look at that. If you only had a little bit more protein, you could have stopped that anchor. So Asia's like talking to the stews. She's so for the next chapter, I would love to have you, Margot, on service. And Margot's like, Oh, you think I can do it? Of course, I think you can do it. You're a really quick learner. I think you'll be absolutely fine. So then Jamie, Jamie who had declared that she loves laundry, and she was all in favor of this

when they talked about it recently, was like, well, I've just been demoted to thirds too. Last time I checked Rachel Vice wasn't just some extra in a movie, but luckily for Margo, I'm not bigger than the work. I'm happy to help her out, I'm still going to be harder than her. And I'm going to make the most of it. And have fun. But this is only one time. Yeah, we'll see about that, lady who's not the fucking boss. How about you set your fucking mouth and go to your job as you're told to do it? How about that? Okay. Yeah. Great. That's fun. Have fun doing the job you're being paid to do. Not just purchasing. And you're not demoted. You're that's fine. Have fun doing the job you're being paid to do, not just purchasing.

And you're not demoted, you're just doing laundry. So Zarina then tells Margot and Jamie that Adam got fired. So Margot starts to cry because she's like sad and she feels things. And he's just like, oh, what are you crying about? I would love to cry about something. Could you please tell me please? Otherwise I'm gonna laugh and I don't want to laugh. It's a cry boom. And what are you crying about I would love to cry about something. Could you please tell me please otherwise I'm gonna laugh

and I don't want to laugh. It's a cry boom and what are you crying about? Adam got fired. Yeah. I think I have to call me boyfriend. So she goes to the captain and checks on him and he's like, he had great potential, great guy, safety issues. We were all almost beheaded apparently. There's a dolphin head now floating where we let that anchor go while we were under the way

and now we're being followed by a family of very angry dolphins as that was the dolphin, who is actually saving up to buy the rest of the dolphins a cove to live in. So, unfortunately Adam did open up a portal to hell, and we now have Dracula on our boat trying to eat all of our heads at the moment. I think that's just a new movie, that's in theaters called The Last Voyager, the Demeter. Well, so I hate to say, I'll tell you this, space off of our boat. Oh no, we have tranquil on board, it's terrible.

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap ins commercial. So, Culver and Jhwaw, hug Adam, and of course Harry's there. And Adam's like, you know what, you better watch your head, you freakishly tore a funny talker. And he's telling us, you know, I never done anything like this before. I knew it was gonna be a big shock when I came in, mostly because I wasn't with my wacky friend,

and I wouldn't even a kangaroo on board. I didn't even know both could run like that. You know, I knew it would be a big shock when I came onto this boat, mainly because I don't know how to swim and I never thought I'd actually take a... I didn't think I was working on a yacht man, I'd actually been in the middle of the ocean when I had to swim but I learned in insane amount except how to swim so it was all good.

Yeah, hopefully I can move to Captain and commercial and then I can get my my house and then I'll return to Yachtin. I mean, this is sick. I was like wow, can't wait to see how many Captain jobs you're offered after the scene of you dropping the anchor. I know. Just start driving Uber, please. Okay. So no, I don't want to get stuck in his Uber. He'll be like, oh, sorry, on commercial. We, uh, we go through lights. On commercial red light means go. Just okay, I was gonna say I have a market Starbucks, but it'll probably fuck up lots of orders there. Oh, and commercial coffee means tea.

So Captain calls Culver to the bridge, and he's like, now listen to where he's brought me a list of things about yourself, picking things up, toiletliness, everything we talked about before this charter. I need you to think ahead. I do. For example, I'm going to need protein in about five minutes. Come on, wrap this up.

I promise Captain, I'm trying to put my best foot forward. I mean, the one that has the most muscle development, that's the, that's the protein shake right there doing the work. And that's not like I've got my teeth forward for this job. But my best Dutch baby forward for this, okay, I make mistakes. I get a pancake to say to Dutch baby sometimes, but I'm still trying to get in that groove. And at the end of the day, I just want to make you proud. Can I mind if I call you Kim? Oh, so he's like, well, oh, bro, so Joe has been gone to the captain and being like Culver sucks at his job. Like, are you kidding me right now? This is just like miscommunication.

And it's just like, he's putting things on magnifying glass. I'm just so sick of it. He just needs his protein shake. So meanwhile Zarina crawls into bed with Zwhau and she's saying how Adam is such a nice kid and Zwhau's like, well, business is business. It's like they say in Zimbabwe, business is in Bwe, and you have to treat it every day like you're disposable. That's how you go through life, just knowing that someone could toss you out at a moment's notice. But that's all we'll think you're in that environment, is it?

The salary's not even worth that. Maybe for me, because I'm a chef and stuff, so it's a bit different for me. I make a lot more money than you. A lot more than you do, don't I? That's good for me, isn't it? Ha, well, yeah, it's got a ton of hope to think about. You know, you have to always make sure that you're doing whatever you can do to make sure

you do not get fired, you know, it's like we always say that one. One day you're zimmy the next day you're out. So now is preference sheet meeting time and it's Chatter 7, Tom Sheldon, property developer with his long term friends. They all own their own boats. But now they're going to all come on here to boat together. Now they're gonna all come on here to boat together. On the biggest boat they've ever been on in their lives. So they want to swim in snorkel and they want like a nice gestation menu for night one and all that kind of stuff.

So now the crew is dressing up to go out, it's just got the helmet, it's wearing her helmet. Margot's like, I'm gonna wear black for Adam. Also cause it's slimming, but I'll just say it's for Adam. And, you know, they're all, they're climbing into the, oh yeah, Zorina like climbs up onto his wow and like puts her cheek on his cheek. She's like, I just need some attention right now. So she's basically doing like, she wants to jump in, but she's just barely holding on to her obligations to her friend, but that's going

to fall by the wayside soon, right? So then, it's already falling about, it's gone. That's over. Like that felt, that code left a long time ago. So Harry is, now Harry's been trying to be distant with Margot, and it didn't work, like she didn't care. Yeah. So basically he just dropped that.

So he's like, sorry I haven't been showing you any attention. He's like, well listen, I know I don't want to be annoying, but I am annoying. And that's just that. And he's like, well, we've spent time apart, but now I'm okay with it. Just plenty of fish in the sea. Just plenty of it.

For example, there's the turtle I turned on. That's the first time the turtles turned away from the boat. So, the turtles are singing together. The bite says, if you have a need me, I'm here. Oh, you're so strong. Harry, Harry Jason, there's just one to come up to the bridge to swallow at you now since you're a deck hand and you work on boats.

So I want to let you know, we've just got a message from the maritime authority and the entire C has been rebranded as the friend zone, the maritime friends in. So I know you said there's plenty of fish in the sea, but just want to remind you of those fish roll on the friends zone for your end moment. So then Serena sees Culver, Culver comes out and she's like, oh my god, change your shirt. I'm not sure if it is. So I'm going to go and say, oh, I'm going to change it.

I'm going to change it to shirt. So then they get in the van and they go to a place called Three Wolves, which is three more than the actual number of people that are there. So it is this empty little basement. There must be like a Monday night or something. And so they're drinking and they're dancing and it's sort of like empty and sad and there. And Culver's really sad. And so Asha notices that Culver's sad. So she pulls them aside and gives like her best sympathy face

because she's really good with sympathy pictures. So he's like, wow, for my boy to get fired today, on the same day I can find my, make her thing, blender thing. And then Cap gives me a turn talk and it's like, I'm actually gonna be a little like, oh, I have to be excited about work today, you know what I'm saying? I don't know, it's just one of those days where I can't turn my teeth frowns upside down.

Well, I don't want you going anywhere, cool. I promise you, one thing we will always have here, protein shake. So I am so, they cheers. And he's like, I ain't going nowhere. And this keems there. So she asks about Jamie. She's like, are you calling and you're going to a friend? Yeah.

And he's like internally, internally I am. By the way, when they toast, he comes in really hot and breaks his glass. So I'm like, maybe lay off the protein shakes a little bit. I think maybe those muscles are working a little too aggressively there. So let's see. So now that it's really try hard, this one, because no one's there, like you said, it's very brightly lit and they're trying really hard to dance and say, wew a lot, but it just doesn't work. So they ain't going back home. And Jamie's asking Culver what's on his mind because he's being a pouty baby and he's

like, there's been a long day, Kim. Very, very long. So then of course, he goes outside to call his girlfriend mom Kim. So he's like, mama, it's been awkward times on the boat. Someone else got fired. Do you think I got a cranked out at a hot level or you're out? This isn't training. You either know it or you go home, Mama.

And Chef Kim is like, okay, but you got a lot of frustration in your voice and you need to deescalate that. That's right. I did come from corporate American. I'm gonna use it on you right now. He's like, oh, and he's like, I'm just dealing with this new boss on his not least like a lot of fun. He's very serious. Yard and he's almost acting like God, if we don't pay attention around here, this whole boat's going to sink

we're all going to die. I mean, it's ridiculous. He's so like, follow the rules, Kim. It's ridiculous. He's so much follow the rules, Kim. It's ridiculous. And it's like, well, if you're worried about had the new manager, the manager is going to need you, wait, if you're worried about had the new manager, it's going to be the new manager is going to be, then you need to be the manager of yourself, something like that. And she's basically saying like, if you're worried about the new manager, you should be the manager, meaning like work hard and get to that level, you know? I see. I see. I was like, what the fuck is Chef Keem talking about? And he goes, well, guess he does manage and she says, who, Colbert? And he goes, this one. She's like, there's my sexy little

son. He's like, yeah, mom, you're hot. You're hot too, Tucson. So Jamie sits on his lap because she's like, he's like, this one, this one manages me. And Jamie's like, oh, I was like, who's that little Hussie's tramp on your leg, go over, get her off my face, Tom. I love that Culver, just anyone he's interested in immediately introduces him to Chef Kim. Like, yeah, because he did this on her way to Serena as well right so Kim doesn't even bother saying hi or nice to

me sure anything she's just like oh hot air slut well it's a pretty good one right now hope you're prepared to give him his protein well I hope that you're from the Netherlands because as long as you're around that's the only Dutch baby he's going to begin. And Jamie's hugging his neck and she's like, he's so grumpy. Yeah, well, he didn't get like that often, but when he does, and he's get some head out of his head, is that what I said? What did I say? Did I just give you orders? I'd never do that.

Give me. Give me that immediately. I guess a real woman would be able to make my son feel better, but if you're not up for the task, don't worry. Chef Kim's kitchen's always open. Now, listen, I want you to give him a hidden. You better put on an apron and shifts hat while you do it. You hear me, honey? Covers like, they say, keep your drama for your mama.

That's what that's what I do. They also say, if you're going through a hard time pretend you're making out with your mama, I do that one too. I don't know if I want rhymes, but it helps me get through my life. They don't need the rhyme, do they? And so Kim's like, all right, give me a head by a slit. And Jamie goes, nice to meet you by the way.

Like now, when it's going to introduce the hot piece on Google's lap to the mother. Hello. Hey, someone just threw a fish in my head. Oh, yeah, she has Kim's got a great arm. She can literally throw a fish around the world. There's a dolphin below them that's like, our son would have caught that if he hadn't been beheaded.

Wow, very serious dolphin. That's like, our son would have caught that. He was on track to get a scholarship to dolphin baseball school. So then we got to Harry eating his ramen wasted and he just puts it in his mouth and his mouth just like hangs open as ramen trips out. Yeah, it was, it was, you know, we should, like the theory still remains when Harry's mouth is shut, he's hotter. So, me while Jowal and Zarina are, so, Jow has gone into Zarina's room and he's like in her bed, the lights are off. And he's like, oh, stop trying to think my legs.

She was, oh, am I? I thought you were just a Tomahawk, I was prepping. She was, maybe I'm sexually frustrated, I don't know. But sure, I was my happy place at the moment. I have an angel, he has like, oh, Zarina, he's so kind and says, sweet. And then I have this other one that's saying, no, Zarina, don't be an idiot, you know what he's like. And then I have a vagina puppet. That's right. It's actually a puppet of a vagina saying, feed me, feed me.

I think she's doing a little shopper for us, which is really funny. I think the vagina puppet going. Feed me, see more. I think she's doing a little shop of horror, such as really funny, to the time of Papa Garner. Feed me, she more. I think that's what it is. I have to say, I'm not buying that. Now, I buy it from her. I think that she's into it. I don't really get the chemistry from him to her.

I don't get it. I don't see it being returned. I'm seeing like kind of a repeat of the situation that she just had with Colver. Where it's someone is like, okay, well, here's someone who's here. This is okay for now. And Serena is starting to get really into it. And Joao is just like, hey, yeah, you know. Yeah, I can't tell. I feel like there is something coming from Joao, but I feel like he's, he does the thing where he withholds anyway. I think that his approach is that he withholds makes the girl really like sweat him a bunch and then he like then gives a little something, you know.

Well, I'll tell you who's probably thinking about this a little too much. Culver who is playing with his weiner. We just cut to Culver playing with his weiner and bad. And then we see the gorgeous neon. The little shark kissing. They're so cute. Yeah. see the gorgeous neon-fish-hark. The little fish are kissing. They're so cute. Yeah. They are a sexy couple.

And we also see a little shark, like a little tiny shark just sort of like going around doing its thing. And guess what? The new deckhand is approaching and his name is Luca. He is from New Zealand. And he looks like he sort of like has a generic, like generic hot look. Like sort of like a little bit of Brody Jenner,

a little bit of Dave Franco, a little bit of Oscar Isaac. It's sort of like from every angle, he's a different, you know, nice looking guy, you know. Yeah, he's like John Stamos, he's got a little Kelly and what's her husband? Mark and Swale. Did you already? Yeah, Mark and Swale. No, Mark and Swale is a guy with a Hugh Jackman in him. Sex sort of a composer. I don't see the Hugh Jackman. He's a little bit of like a if someone

generated an AI version of a deck. He said, hey, make a deck and make it look sort of like a person who's famous. But he also looks like if they were doing a prequel about Chef Marco from his, like a little young, like real skinny in the face, Chef Marco. Yeah, he's just a little bit of everything and not a lot of things. He has a lot of partners, but also not as hot as you think, right? He's like, well, he's like really hot on the boat, but then in the interviews, he looks like a totally different person. Is that it? Yeah, I can tell.

He seems sweet, I guess. So anyway, he comes on and I think he's got highlights. I wrote the highlights, LOL cheese. So then we know that he's gonna be important because they're not only giving us didgeridude, they're giving us didgeridude rock and roll. I noticed that. Oh, yeah.

It was like rhythmic didgeridude. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I love that. Yeah. Somewhere rock had a boner.

He's like, oh, yeah, love this show. So, um, some markers like, oh, my God, he's like a beauty queen, I love this show. So So Marcus like, oh my god, he's like a beauty queen like it's crazy if you see this eyelashes, they're real and then Jason's like, hello, welcome to the boat. Listen here's lead deckhand. You don't need to come around here with a whip Just you know, you just need to feel like you've got some experience in bodyguard. You're gorgeous. You're a gorgeous man Thank you for becoming on board. I'm Asta Nilsand, she's like hello darling and they hug and she says I love Luca when me and my sister first went to France to look for Yorling jobs together we met Luca. I just one of those caused that everyone gets spumed on but I mean love everyone loves Luke Oh, by the way did this with my sister

Very hot finger in the okay, oh very much the okay. Oh, very much. But I'm pretty sure we also banged Magda. And, you know, they have a lot of foods together on Instagram. And so for those who've forgotten about Magda then they show the cut to last year Magda knocking over an entire triumphant champagne glasses. But let's find the most humiliating moment for Magda. There we go. I'm the producer. It's like, wait, you and Magda? And he's like, yeah, kind of wakes at the camera. So it just shows him his cab and everybody's changing. He's, she passes by the, the Galley and she's like, that's serena. She's an absolute psychopath. So just ignore her. It's really goes, it's good advice. So now it's provisions. And Harry's like,

well, I didn't think Harry, I don't think Jason could find anyone who's better looking than me, but he came for a close. And then now it's a deck meeting in Juaos like, all right, everyone. I think that this charter, we have a lot to prove on the deck side. And I think everyone's an agreement with that. Anyway, so if I'm not there, Luca, he lives on the second floor and he's going to take the lead. Oh, he's lead. That can't. It doesn't need to be like you suck, so we got Luca here.

I mean, I can just die. I'm going to just have to dial in and get the job done. You know, I don't think that's a great metaphor for this because it doesn't like the expression that you're just phoning it in. So don't say that you're dialing in. That's the problem. He's too lazy to even actually do the phone call. He's just dialing as a number

that he knows is gonna keep ringing forever. I know you wanna be dialed in, but when you say you're going to be dialing in, dialing it in, it's not good. No. So Margot says, Tell Zarina that she's not gonna be doing laundry this chart or she's gonna be on service. And Zarina's like, oh, you're with the big dogs.

And then they like kiss. And then Zarina like puts her cheek on Margot and just turns. Pering for like several seconds. So Margot's like, I'm pretending I'm excited, but I'm so scared. And then Zerina goes, I wish I had been a social dog. So then Luca is telling Aisha that his family hasn't been back to New Zealand and forever and because his family has moved to Vietnam.

And because I guess there's not too many episodes left in the season, they have to cram in all of Lucas' backstory very quickly. So he's like, it's like, yes, soon my family leaves in Vietnam and my mom's a teacher there, and I'm from New Zealand, and I grew up in a small town called Ragland, and I won my dad left. And so then I was with my mom until I was five, and then she met like a super hot step dad,

who's now my dad, and he's like, really wonderful. And now we've got a brother, and I've got some sisters, and I go see if he's with my wonderful and now I've got a brother and I've got some sisters and I like I go see if he's my brothers and I take my sister shopping and I like that it's because it's like a new family and everyone's close and I love it so that's my story and I love it. Bing! Okay, well he's done. It's time for commercial.

It's time for a crap and it's commercial. So then we go to a very close up shot of Culver's Habs and then Harry and Culver are talking and Harry's like, oh these bums she smugglers, what do this thing called the oh no, it's not Harry says that is new guy. He's like, oh those, but if others put your smugglers, I'll do this thing called the Mongol rally. And every country we stop in, we stop at a monument and take photos and bodges.

And then we see him with his two guy friends who travel all over in speedos. And Harry's like, oh, how is the perfect fit? He's so happy, he has so much to do, butchery smuggler things with. So now the crew lines up, and it's time for the next batch of people to come on board. So as a bunch of guys,

a bunch of middle aged guys, gonna just listen to some yacht rock, some Australian yacht rock. It's probably a lot of annexes, and you know, can I have some fun times, you know? So much like, oh my God, these are very large humans, because they're like only human-ish guys. And Aisha much like, oh my God, these are very large humans, because they're like only two mungus guys. And Aisha's like, oh my God, I can already tell they're going

to take so much peace. And so they come on and Joah's like, wow, you've got seven big Australian blokes. They're all bigger than the captain. it's intimidating. So the Asia gives us like a tour and they're just like all it's like a you know generic tour and everything and Marcos serving them water and they're like oh I guess this is a song I know I just want to give us a message raw and Marcos like oh so you guys have been friends forever that's so cute and they was like, oh, so you guys have been friends forever. That's so cute. And they're like, yeah, it is this trip. So, Trial is telling Luca, so they get off the dot grade and I was like, it's soon nice having Simon with experience.

Me, I can't even tell you. And Luca's like, I've been his deckhand for seven years. Ding. I like to pull things apart to see how they work. I fix iPhones. If I see a computer on the fritz, I open up and it's gots and see what's going on in there. And the producer's like, that's kind of nerdy of you.

And he goes, yeah, I know. I don't know that I believe you. I think this is your trying to get laid thing. Because hot guys love saying shit like that. But I'm also a nerd. That's true. But juices are like, okay, so we've covered a lot of your bio really quickly. Did you mention the part where yadding saved your life, where you living in a gutter, where you on drugs, do you have a child? Just want to know, do you have any of these things? It's like, actually

no. All right, we're going to have to call central casting, make sure we're gonna have to get a replacement. I'm so sorry. I know it's like insta-fired. So then let's see. So it's just taking drink quarters. She's teaching Marco how to make all the drinks. And then one of the guys there is, you know, they're all loving it.

This is an amazing, but one of the guys is like, oh, just we should feel better. And they're like, you will feel they're all loving it. This is an amazing, but one of the guys is like, oh, just wish I feel better. And they're like, you will feel better. Don't worry, bro, you'll feel better soon. Which spoiler alert, he doesn't. Oh, James does not go in a good direction. So they drop the anchor. There's a lot of sort of chitchat.

The bosses are like, oh, you've got a very chitchat, chitchat, a kid smell on your face. And it's like, oh, yeah, you love looking your balls I wish I could and Asia's texting her sister and she's like What? Lucas on board and Courtney texts back like I love you

And let's hope Luke I can be a himself that's not telling my set of hoi could be a himself that's not telling my son a hoooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it was just so hard but our trials and tribulations only brought us closer, my family is everything to me, even the ones that have done this with Luca. Oh, yeah, fingering, oh, fingering, oh, you know I do love singing a finger in a bumhole. Dude, don't forget that. So, James, that was like our joke for like three years with the A-Shish like finger in the butt. Oh, I'll never forget that. Oh, remember when I was a little girl,

I didn't know a P P guy, mate. So I put my finger up my bumhole. Oh. So, James, just doing a lot of three. Like Jamie's just doing laundry intro story. Yeah, entire world. That was her first season was talking about putting her finger in her butt. So, so Jamie is talking about laundry. She's just, well, I do enjoy the laundry, but the same time I prefer to be in service. I'm going to love talking to the guests and making drinks and maybe finding alternative to Culver.

I thrive when it's busy. Some kind of missing out. Like, this is what happens. You said it like what, last week, two weeks ago, don't say that you love doing laundry because then you get put doing laundry and then they complain about it. Yeah. So now the guys go snorkeling and Serena is making purple scallops and caviar and a crab roll and a tomahawk.

So this is making a tomahawk roll. And then the guys snorkel. I mean, it's just kind of like a fun and games episode for the most part. And then cover and Jamie are in the mass and talking about how sully it is. He's literally always eating. We're watching. All right. Yet again.

And so now she's ready to have the discussion about the med boat. And he's like, well, I just suggested you could you said you never vendor Europe. I mean, we were starting Barcelona, we go to Capri, Malfi Coast, it ends in London. You know, I know it's crazy to go from season to season. But she's like, let's do it. Let's do it. You know, it's probably not a good idea to take a boatman's from a boatman to another, but at the same time, I've never been to Europe.

So, you know, I really don't give a fuck about the boatman. I just want a free trip to Europe. Let's be honest. So, yeah, I think it'll be fun. I think you'll have some good sex, maybe not have some good sex. Whatever, go on to the med. So now these guys are at the table, and they're playing this game on an app.

They're playing like an iPhone game or whatever that has cocktails on it and you spin the wheel and whatever the wheel spins on, Margot has to go make all the strings. Basically. Yeah, but I, so I wasn't sure what was it, whatever it spins on, she has to make that drink for everyone or does every single person do a spin and she has to make a unique drink for every person. I was really confused. Well she was making multiples of the same. So I think it was just like a round of everybody gets to spin the wheel so then they all do

a ton of drinks, right? Right. So it was like a night, either way, it's either, either scenario is a nightmare for her. And so, and so then, Meanwhile downstairs, Harry is asking Zarina what she thinks of Luke. And she's like, oh, he looks like James Franco's brother, which is, I thought that was accurate. I give a point to Zarina and they put their photos

side by side. And meanwhile, the guys are still spinning their wheel. And Margot is like, she is losing her mind. She's like, this app is my nightmare. It's like this app is my nightmare. It's like a wheel you spin with eight different drinks. They don't even have a hot dish on that thing. I mean, how am I even supposed to do this? God, last time I played spin the hot dish,

I almost got pregnant. I drew in a salad. I shouldn't put those in hot dishes. They're not good. So now, are you spinning that wheel. That wheel is such a cute wheel. And not the wheel. So cute. How you're spinning it. Hey, you know, be a good idea. What if you don't spin it? And you just put it in an order like a normal person. Let's try that. That'd be fun.

So it's just like, I feel like this game that the guest of players like Margot's worst nightmare But the perfect training to almost as good as thinking your finger up your bum So she's making all these drinks and she tastes to drink out of the shake or she goes oh gosh All better which is funny because they showed this in the midseason trailer, making it look like Margot becomes this huge alcoholic towards the end of the season, which is not the case. Well, but also like we are, like she is still taking drinks, but it's not so far. It's not like she made the drink and then she tasted it. I don't think that's a big of a deal. They made it.

They were like coming to the season, not below a deck and it just shows shows Margot like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, Margot goes crazy. There's still time. So now they're like setting up like a, Jamie is making the table. She was a little sea turtle thing, like a horseland sea turtle on it on the table. And her is like, oh, look at the little square. She's like, yeah, I named him Freddie.

Oh, his name's not Freddie. It's not a name for C title. What did you name it? Yeah, she's like, what would you like to call him? And he goes, squirt. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

So then Margot's down into it. Down in the sea, that C title's like, my name is Francis actually. So could we not just like call me Squirt? Cause that's like a name. I was the mayor of Caldame, which is why they made a statue of me for tables, but let's just not look at the bottom statue.

Just go and have an MFA where you want. I have an MFA from Williams College. So please. So now Margo is talking to a guy in a hat and she's like, Oh my God, I love your head. And he's like, darling, I'll leave it to you. If you want it it you wear it now Just oh, no, this is marga. Sorry sick. Oh my god. I would love that hat. What a cute hat. It's so cute

God, I love it. So he puts it on her and then gets a picture of her and he's like, oh, I've got shorts as well next level Next level Wow, no, I can tell all my friends. I got a hat from Australian Henry Winkler. Thank you so much. This is so cool. So the guys are all sitting around the table. The credits are to roll. So you always know there's gonna be some shit going down

when there's like a normal scene happening but credits are rolling. And basically everyone, like there's dinners being served, wines being poor, there's like a seared scallop with caviar going out. And, you know, Deitier's like, enjoy! And so they're all eating. And then, like, big guy who was feeling unwell earlier, he just starts to seize.

And I thought, they show in the previews this was going to happen. I thought maybe he's going to be having a allergic reaction, but it looks like he's actually just having a seizure. And it's super scary, and he's like foaming at the mouth, and they like put him down on the ground. They call Captain Jason in, they call the medic, he's on his side, Aisha's calling nurses, it's like a big time medical emergency.

Yeah, it was impressive how they all handled it. They all just jumped right in. Aisha was like, all right, medical, medical, when they medical him, we've got something blah, blah, blah. And Jason's like, all right, you know, he's like taking off his pants and putting on his butt. Jesus, he's like, don't touch it. He's like, you know, this is Margot.

It's like, would you like a cocktail down there while you're seasoned, huh? Oh my God, you look so cute while you're having a seizure. That is the kind of seizure I've ever seen. Hey, do you mind? I think he kind of is season on top of my protein check. And the amount of I just scoot under him.

Real good. You're all mind if I eat his protein off his plate. It's the CTC season. I can work with this. I can work with this. He may be seizing, but he has a good work ethic. Um, and that brings us to the end of below deck down on. Thank you guys so much for being with us. We will be back tomorrow with some real housewives of Orange County.

We'll have our house hunters up this week. Well, hello, I'm wondering plus. Come check these videos out on crap and it's on demand. Also, don't forget that next week, crappy hour will be on Tuesday, not a.m. at 5.30 p.m. So thanks for being with us everybody. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Saboni, she don't take no baloney.

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