Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Down Under: No

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* On this week's Below Deck Down Under, Aesha and Captain Jason take matters into their own hands when a pig of a bosun tries to take too much into his own. Well done and IT'S ABOUT TIME. Nice work, crew. This week's bonus is a two part Big Brother 25 Cast Preview. Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I've been so much more happy than I've ever been. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on your old props. I'm Ronnie. Hi, everybody. Welcome, Ben. Please, Ben.

Welcome to the show. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? So good, guys. We had our maiden voyage of crappy hour, our biweekly or bi monthly, I guess I should say Monday night party with you guys on Instagram. So that was really fun. Thanks to everybody who came out, there were almost a thousand of you there at a great time laughing with you guys. That's like a live call and show.

It's the first and third Monday of every month on Instagram live. If you want to watch that stall on Instagram live, please feel free to do so. It is there on our profile grid. Our plan was to release it as an audio episode, but we've got to get some more professional audio. Oh, plans going on before that happens. So if you do want to watch it, go check out our Instagram. You should be on our Instagram anyway. How about that? Yeah. Yeah. Watch what happens. Yes. Also, we did the I've had it podcast with the ladies of sweet home Oklahoma, Jennifer and Pumps. They were hilarious, they were so gracious to have us on there. It was so great to meet them.

We laughed our ass off for a solid hour. It released today. So go over to their podcast, subscribe, listen, tell them crap and send you a ding. I've had it. Okay, that's what it's called. It's so good. How fitting. I mean, how perfect of a podcast. Okay, that's what it's called. So good. How fitting.

How perfect of a podcast for us who bitch about things all day. Ben, what say you? What's going on in your life? Oh my God. Well, what is going on? I mean, you mentioned all the big things and now we have this below deck double header episode, which was really intense. I mean, the first hour was a fairly standard below deck double header episode, which was really intense. I mean, the first hour was

fairly standard below deck, the first like 45 minutes or so. But then everything after that, it's like, oh my goodness. So this is, it was Bravo released it as one big episode, but it was really two episodes. So this is, this is going to be the first recap and we'll have the second recap up like ASAP right afterwards. But, um, wow, I was floored. And then on top of that, so we took these notes, I was like, I was up so late taking notes on these, on these shows, because I was like, I couldn't believe what I was watching. I was like, Oh my God, this is, this is insane. I was like, I was compelled. I was like crying. I was laughing. Everything was like a disaster. And then afterwards, I took my notes for dwell hello, which is gonna be going up.

I don't know when we're gonna, I don't know if it's this week or next week because our dwell hello schedule, but we're gonna adjust that because it's gonna be dwell hello alternating with crappy hour, but dwell hello was the episode that we watched. I personally thought it was so funny.

And it was like the perfect thing after they've watched it this below deck because I was emotionally drained after these episodes. What about you? It was a lot. Yeah, it was a lot. I think emotionally drained is the way it goes. A lot of feelings. So let's just jump right into it, shall we? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's take my opinions for when they're actually needed, I guess. During the episode. Not before because I feel like if I don't really just stick to what happened in the show, I'll just start going crazy on every little thing, you know.

But God, lots of villains, lots of people taking care of as well in one episode. And then the coming, this season, flipped it all on its head again. I mean, this show, pretty incredible. I have to say, and I saw you've noticed that it's our friend Nadine who produces this show, right? Which is crazy. So I love that. So I was also really proud of her. So shout out to Nadine Rajabi. We love you, baby. We still love you over here, baby. So I was really kind of proud of her too, because she's the one running that room. You know what I mean? And sending those cameraman in there, I presume I haven't talked to her, but that is her job. She's the showrunner. So wow, what a show. Let's just get right into it. So previously Harry and

a speedo laughing goofily. Okay. Luke was pretty rapy. That's before even knowing what really happens in this episode. I just put Lucas Rapy, which has been pretty much the opinion all along. It's also a standard opinion on these shows, which is this is kind of a turning point I think in these shows where this was kind of turned on its head finally, and someone said, this is nothing this shit. Just because you're on international waters does not mean you don't have to go by the

rest of the world's rules. You mother fucking pigs, okay? Yeah, Luke has already shown signs of terribleness before this episode even aired. Also I forgot I was going to say, I was going to say something about Luke and whatever. I was going to say I was honestly a little shocked and I was a little disappointed personally in Bravo. That Bravo did not put up a content warning on this episode because I actually feel, I felt really terrible for people who have gone through like deeply traumatic experiences that were depicted on this show and were kind of blindsided by it

because I think that's really hard for people. And you know, I was surprised that Rob, the network, did not throw something on screen. And I think they should be more thoughtful about that going forward. Let me shit Netflix warns me when people are gonna smoke. Yeah. So then of us start with a first night, Serena's just in the kitchen because she has realized

that not eating red meat includes Tomahawk steaks. Yeah. And lamb. Okay, apparently it includes all sorts of the animals that she didn't really think about. I think she only thinks red meat is just like Republican cows. Yeah, she really messed this one up. This is like going back to this part of the show. It's like, oh my god, remember when we only had to focus on the fact that like the meat being served vegetarians. So, yeah, she that like the meat being served to vegetarians.

So, uh, yeah, she's like, I fucked up to them, don't even eat red meat and I'm about to serve them steak. I just want this day to be over. Oh my goodness. And then we cut to Asia in the, in the dining room. Again, she goes up to one of the women who doesn't eat red meat and goes, okay, so for the next course, there's Tomahawk in lobster so you're not gonna have the Tomahawk.

No Asia. You're not a Tomahawk. It's just a Hawk named Tom. Is that considered me? Are you sure you don't want, what if we give you the largest symbolic reference to meet that possibly could be? Would you eat it then? Mm-hmm. And Jason is checking on Serena and he's like everything going all right in here. And she's like, I know, I know it's really not going all right in here. You know, now I'm

going to make him a salad, but of course they're probably going to hate the cheese as well. Yeah, why are you putting the most controversial cheese on a salad as well? I mean, I feel like you're just daring. Is there a more... Fuck you kind of a cheese and a blue cheese. I don't think so. I think there's no other cheese that says, fuck you, quite like blue cheese to people who don't like. I love blue cheese. I'm a blue cheese fan. But people... Only if you need a wedge salad, the worst salad in the world, I'll eat because there's blue cheese on it.

Well, also, what was up with this salad? It sort of looked like it came from a neighborhood barn, grill, kind of plays like apple pies. It was like big floppy butter lettuce and hardwilt eggs and then giant chunks of blue cheese. I was just like, I can't remember. I can't remember. There's just a no and a swan. Yeah, okay, man.

It was not doing it for me. But you know, if you work out a lot, there were a lot of hard boiled eggs. And they were all out of eggs. We weren't even like, oh, look at these nice sliced boiled eggs. They were half hard boiled eggs. Just shoved on top of tomatoes with blue cheese. And listen, I love a salad and I love some blue cheese.

I don't know what the fuck this was, but I was cracking up watching it. It looked literally like a platter of hardwalled eggs served with like a garnish of butter lettuce. I'm not even saying being facetious. It looked legitimately crazy. But luckily Zarina has red snapper and lobster. So she is able to serve that to the people who don't eat red meat. But then another hurdle, which is that Renee, the primary, he likes his meat medium, so he senses meat back. So he's just, Zarina's just basically falling apart on all fronts. Yeah, and Jason's like, this is a big mistake. This is a basic reading of the preference sheets kind of mistake, basic, shifri 101.

And then we see a closeup of the preference sheet kind of mistake, basic, shifri 101, and then we see a close up of the preference sheet, which does indeed say Tomahawk medium. And Jason is like, she better get a shit together. I'll tip her based on this, this cannot happen again. But then it comes out okay. To me, it's okay everybody. It's me too. So Aisha checks on Serena and she's like,

you know, who am I gonna blame? Me, not that. So she does a cake thing. She whoops how to cake from the fridge. Now, we should have cake on here before with that creepy, weird fucking obsessive abusive, because like borderline abusive guy from last season, Dave from Blow Deck, Med.

Yeah, so his thing was glazing cakes. He loved a mirror glaze on cakes. Serena's thing is a see through, it's like an icing around, but where it's not solid and you can see through to the cake layer. It's like a naked cake. Is that what it's called? It's called a naked cake. So it's not solid and you can see through to the cake layer. It's like a naked cake. Is that what it's called? It's called a naked cake.

So it's on purpose because it looks like people who are too lazy to do a coat of primer on a wall and just throw up one coat of paint off, of dark paint on a white wall. That's what it looks like. Yeah, it's like a trendy kind of thing for people who I believe don't actually eat cakes because we all know if there's space for frosting,

you put frosting there, I actually even tried to make a naked cake this past weekend. Mainly because I didn't have enough frosting, so I was like, well, I guess I'll make this a naked cake and I just look bonkers. And generally, I think like the walls are there for frosting. They're not meaningful. I've had naked cake.

I've had cake naked often. And unfortunately, I live in the house with a lot of windows that when the lights are on inside are reflective. So that wasn't the best experience. So I'm traumatized by that. Okay, so then everyone is singing to Omar because it's his birthday. And then Renee just shoves his face down in the cake because guys, they're wacky solar people and apparently that's how they do birthday and solar. Oh my goodness. Literally my least favorite thing is when people shove people's faces into cakes. Like at weddings and birthdays and I'm and Zaryna, you know Zaryna was like, well this meal was

the disaster but at least I can wrap them with my cake. And you see her, she's like, no, my beautiful cake. And they show a montage of how she started 9 a.m. making it. And all day long, she kept on going and doding on it and making it prettier and prettier. And then they just shoved their faces in it. And she was like, no. Meow.

She was really upset, not a blame. So Culver does dishes for her. And she'd like that to him because who wouldn't love that. But I feel like Culver wouldn't keep doing the dishes forever. I feel like that's his way of flirting and ingratiating himself. It's like, almost like he thinks crunches aren't enough, which by the way, they are. You're gorgeous. And thank you, camera people, for just continuing to linger on Culver's body throughout this whole episode. This whole episode, they're like ahead let's take a moment and just stare at Culver's body in underwear. Okay let's back to the trauma. Trauma head. Trauma head.

It's like a reds it's like that part and like the Disney ride where everything's nice and happy before they turn off the lights and plunge you up and down. You know that. know that right when it's like trauma head. It's like when Mr. Toast off right where the roller coaster like the final tics right with slowing down right before it goes down. It's like the happy parts in Splashmown when all the rabbits are playing around before like it doesn't always does that it plunges you into darkness and then maybe they'll put on a black light and make everything psychedelic and you're like what the fuck. Yeah.

So yeah this is the nice part. Trauma head, so cool. Colors abs. Also, I do believe that I do believe he was doing dishes. I do believe he was doing dishes. No, I don't. I don't. I think he will because I think his mom, Kim, has trained him that he only gets food if

he does her dishes. So I think he's just, it's part of his nature now. But I think he'll only do it if he's going to marry you. Like I think that when you're dating him, he'll just stop doing dishes. That's how he shows if he's a cure or not. He's only going to give you what he gives the love of his life, his mother, Kim, chef, Kim. He's only going to give you the same respect if he's completely in love with you, like

he is with his mom. Yeah. Now, elsewhere in the kitchen, in the galley, so Luke and Margot are standing by the left over cake and Luke goes, oh, is it fucking here on the cake? So I start to write a joke in my notes saying like, oh, he's going to try to make out with a cake. Because that was the line he used in like the first episode or the second episode. Right. You got an online one. Yeah, he plans to want a Margot in a totally gross way. And. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was know? Oh, no, I just meant like he was using his patented line that he uses. Yeah, that's the right thing. That way you can make out with the cake. But instead, I'm just thinking, oh, it'll be a joke. But then he grabs Margot by the back of the head and tries to shove her face into the cake.

And she's able to pull back in time. But it was unsettling. It did not feel like, oh, this is a funny cake moment. It's a funny flirty moment. First of all, you're working. So she would have had like cake on her face and has to go like deal with the clients. And second of all, there was something like,

it was very uninvited. There was something about it that already I was like, this guy has fucking boundary issues. Yeah, and then he forces a kiss on her cheek after. So then it's sleep time. Yeah. And Harry's on night duty, lots of debt cleaning. Now it's the next day, everybody's waking up

and there's this storm coming in. Sandy's favorite show to watch on the TV, the wind coming in. And this is wind from Greece because it's like a pink lady wind. It's just a big blob of pink. And this is wind from Greece because it's like a pink lady wind. It's just a big blob of pink. And it's like, it's gonna scooge. No. It's like, come in in the pink ladies. And he's like, what are we gonna do? The pink lady wind is coming in. And Jason's checking the weather and everything.

And then Margo is, Margo sees Harry downstairs in the crew mess. And she's like, oh hey, good morning. And they hug. And it's like, did you have cold feet? She's like, yeah, without me. Yeah, I had to chug it. Yeah, really exciting story, huh? Anyway, get to work, because I'm going to go take a real quick poop. If things happen quickly, when you chug that coffee, it turns out. So Serena is talking to Asha. and she's like, all right, today we're doing a Mexican bagel. I don't know the pretty suppose, it's gonna ask for a veggie omelet. So I already made the mix for that. Not only made it mix for a pancake with banana

because everybody wants something different. And she's like, you okay. It's like, yes, she's made a fucking Las Vegas buffet. Okay. I know. My God, I wish I had a chef that fucked up because I would love waking up to just a binge like that. I mean this.

I mean this. As a person with binge eating disorder, I was like, God, that meant love with you. I'll do your dishes. Fuck, I'll do your dishes. I love you. So I mean, it's like, oh no.

I just realized my bagels are just tomahawk steaks with holes cut out the center You can't eat tomahawk steak That's what holds cut in the center of them We put fillet death for cream cheese and guacamole on it to make it Mexican but also bagel So uh, Luke is So what, Luke is complaining to the guys that they can't see re sharks because of weather's not on their side. So they're going to play flip cup instead.

So everybody loves their huge breakfast and Jason calls Luke and Aisha to the bridge to tell them they've got to get it together because it's windy. It's runny back to the dock. Yeah, inconvenience we can deal with, dangerous. We have to have other options. We're going straight out to the jaws of the monster. So the plan is basically to get the guests wasted and then they will break the news to them that, sorry, we have to go back to the dock. So they set up flip dock, flip, flip cup and all that stuff. So Adam C's hearing is like,

so how's it like always being so tall and talking funny? Do everyone's laugh like you all the time? It's like me? Cause you're funny. You're so tall, stupid. And there he's like, yes, the weather's way better up here when you're tall. Yeah, hilarious.

I don't even understand what was that English. Fucking funny. Fucking tall. First thing, talking to all these. So it's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. Meanwhile, Laura is trying. So Laura is still on a mission to use fresh squeeze lime juice for these margaritas,

but she's not using a remur anything. She's just using her fingers to squeeze out whatever she can from these lime. So she's really going the most inefficient way at doing the lime juice. She's just fucking monsters. Okay, I don't even know. I feel like God did that on purpose.

You know how like a lot of things, it's like no pain, no gain. You know, you can't get a vegetable unless you really try really hard and work through the rocks of the soil and water it and all that. It's like alimes. It's like, wow, I'm going to make the most delicious margarita in the world. The most delicious drink in the world, the margarita. I'm going to force people to use stupid, fucking little stone things that you have to use 80 just to make one margarita. Good one, heaven.

Good. Well, I agree. Limes can be really terrible in that way, but that's why you have to get a reamer or a squeezer and then it's like not even an issue. Please stop asking for a reamer. Not on this episode. We're not talking about reamer's. But yeah, I also like-

I'm giving you a meaner like that. I was just like, wow, then you're being really perverted today. But that being said, obviously I made my stance very clear last week being pro-line juice. Like in versus- I like being reamed. But given that Asia has gotten the lime juice, and given that that's what the provisions have been accounted for, I'm like, Laura, why are you going through all the limes now that you won't be able to put anything into the garnish, and also the chef won't be able to cook with lime.

Stop going through the limes. Use the fucking lime juice, even though it's terrible. Because you know what she's doing, so that when the captain passes and says, I look at you doing all those Lyme, she's like, yes, because chief Stolt doesn't like the dough, she only like butter Lyme. I want to use two ones. I only use real Lyme. Yeah, I am fully convinced that Laura is a pathological liar. She was never achieved so she never had a restaurant and I know that she's never, that's all bullshit. She's just like goes to one of those selfie places

like they showed on real house sides of it after this week where you go and there's like different sets that you take selfies on. Yeah, it is like we're all skating champion of Olympics. So he's just like bloody hell. It's fucking lime juice. I already told her to use the bottom lime juice because it's way more fishy. Like why is Laura so obsessed with lime? So she's a family-owned lime orchard. Does she have stock in a lime company? Does she just love to drive lime scooters around sidewalk.

Oh, she's getting bitten by tics. What is it with this girl in Lime? Does she love the family? Does she love soccer, Tash, and eating at the lime abeans, but saying it indirectly? I'm a bee, it's but sang it indirectly. Hahaha. Uh, so she's like, it's fine, it's literally lime cheese. That's annoying. So Luke is telling us, bed weather can really affect the tip.

We go to bed like, hey, look, look what we're doing over here in this direction. Yeah, you're pretty good at that. Just, I know. Keep your dick in your pants. Exactly. Fucking guy. I hate this guy. And that's the thing about recapping when you already know what's gonna happen. You just it's like every time that person comes up and you still have to even acknowledge their life, you know. Yeah.

Couldn't we just fucking kill him off? Can we just replace him with five headfish? That big dumb fish. All right, every time Luke comes up and tell the bad part, let's just make him the five headfish. And by, does this is a clarification for people that is a fish that has a giant, that is an Napoleon fish, not a fish that has five different heads because it sort of sounds like that. All right, is that fish that they keep showing this It's just like, Duh, you did it, Duh, Duh, Duh.

He's way too big to be in the shallow water that he's in. And his forehead's too big. And he's just like, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh, Duh. And then I'll check in every once in a while. It's like, still here, still in the shallow water, friend. Still knocking things over. So, yeah, so there's like stuff happening,

you know, Asia thanks Harry for putting waters in the fridge. And he's like stuff happening, you know, Asia thinks Harry for putting watters in the fridge and he's like, what is it? We'd be a fit with Mago and they high five and they're sort of cute. And then, Sandra. Sandra, the Sandra is the wife of Renee. Renee is the primer.

So she tells Zarina that tonight is the memorial for Renee's mother. Pony, pony! Pony! Yes, I can't wait till we get a private yacht and go fucking party with all our friends to talk about my mom who passed. Yes, flipper! Seriously, Laura's gonna be like, tonight I do memorial and can. Can't, can't.

So, she basically says that like the mom's favorite dishes are Rose Campoya answering is like oh that's a that's a rice dish yes. She's like what's that? She's like I don't know what's going on. Tomahawk, are you saying Tomahawk? Rice and chicken, okay. So rice and not Republican cows, only Democrat cows, blue cows. So what were you doing that? She's like for Christ sake, lady even I learned how to make this and I suck at cooking figure it out. Yeah So Zarina's like well, I haven't made Cuban food before some a process is going to be doogle At this point like I feel like if our Sandra just be like you know what?

Never mind. You can just make us this out. We'll have it when we get to the shore. And she's also gonna add in a birthday cake, okay? Yeah. So the guest is, Sandra's like, okay, and here's a picture of her. I'm like, well, what does that have to do with anything? You know, now I get her judgment while I'm, you know,

doing her dish terribly. Could you face it away? I don't want to have to look at this woman judging me while I'm trying to make her favorite dish, because you know, I'm going to do it wrong. Yeah, especially when I have never made it before I tasted it or have any context about it, but now I have to recreate it. So now you're telling me that his mother is going to be staring at me, watching me try to learn her recipe off of YouTube, but this is humiliating. Can you please face a picture away?

So Zarina needs to call the provisional, because now all the sun she needs 10 extra chicken thighs to make this. But the thing is that it's storming. And Mary Elizabeth Mastran Antonio is like, no, provisional, I'm not allowed to leave the dock. There's a monster with jaws out there and you cannot head into it. So, basically Zarina has to wait until they get to the dock

at seven and hope the Provisioners are right there with the chickens, that way she can start cooking it and like have it ready by eight o'clock. And she's really worrying me because she's like, well, let me see the cooking time of the Apollo. 40 minutes on the Apollo. A lot of calling Apollo girl. I'm so afraid to see what comes out of this kitchen.

The storms really bad. Then we see Adam and the mess and he looks like he's going to barf everywhere. He's miserable. And he's like, I should have taken my tablets, but I forgot because this big tall, stupid goofy motherfucker was passing me talking to some language, I don't even fucking understand. All right. Yeah, then Jason's like,

I had him out of me out of me out of me. Please report to the deck, cause I'll have to take a dump somewhere. So I need you to look at the steering wheel for a moment. Take the wheel while I let out three time of heart's sakes, okay? And he's like, mm mm mm mm mm mm. And he's like, I'm on my way.

I'm getting sick right now. So he comes to the bridge and Jason's like, keep watch. I'll go to hit the head. And he's like, mm mm mm mm mm. So down in the galley, the cake is wobbling because apparently these people get their cake stamps from Hungguts too.

Can I get a dependable cake stand from Hungguts? I mean, Jesus Christ, you think I was trying to tap dance on the thing? You put a couple of cupcakes, it's like, blah! Oh no! You were a discount, okay, but you still need to be able to hold the cake. That is not good cake stand behavior.

You need to have a portfolio from now on. What was it? What sort of cake stand is it? It's like one of those, like ornate, but it's like kind of a screw on top with a really pretty wood. I really love like a wood theme. So like wood base and then a different kind of ornate wood carved top, but I guess it

was screwed into the wood and it's just like wobbly. I mean, you can see why it's on sale. I also got a salad bowl from there, a big wood salad bowl that was like 40 bucks, which I think is really expensive, but the lady was like, it's wood. And I was like, so, like wood's literally outside right now. But I paid for it. And then I put salad in it,

and it smelled like polyurethane, and it leaked. Once I laid it. It leaked. Yeah. So anyway, it was a delicious polyurethane salad, though. I do have to say. Something is wrong with that. I don't know why I don't like that.

I don't know why a salad bowl, I've never had a salad bowl leaking before. I guess it was pretty good. I think $1 is actually a good price for a wood salad bowl to be honest. So I feel like I've seen them and they're one of the leaks. No, the leaky one.

Are you sure it wasn't a cloche? You never there with me. I'm like, why does one of these things like filling out of this salad ball? Why is this, it's like Ronnie is a strainer. And it's also not wood, it's just metal. I thought it was metal coat of wood. All right. So, Laura's like, Laura's doing the decor for this party

and she said, tonight we are going to represent Cuba, where I am from. Totally I'm from there, yes, I love it. And what I love the most about it is that Aisha doesn't like to beckon it, so I take out the pride. I will help you not fail in front of those Cuban guests. So then, um, Adam is still really sick. So Luke's trying to check on him and Harry's like, so many floors for a suck and see, Farah. And then Zarina's like waiting for this chicken.

She's like, oh my god, the chicken of stress is doing me. And you know, Norma's just somewhere in a minivan, like, LOL. You know that lady's stressing out. I'm just going to stay at the end of this park and that so she can't see me. I'm going to wait till the boat parks and I'm going to wait till she comes out on the deck and just squint real hard and paces around real hard and then ride at the last second. I'm going to say, then I'm going to come up with the chicken and be the hero. No one cares. I'm nameless on this show. You know, waiting for this chicken is actually the first draft of Jalos signature song, waiting for the chicken.

Oh, for you to make bottles come for you. Waiting for this chicken. Oh, Waiting for this chicken. Oh! So, cooking time, so they call Adam up to serve, and Luke's like, oh my God, so many things can go wrong with bad weather. Dorking decades, C-Six, this could be my job on the line. I was like, oh, little do you know. Yes, little do you know, sir.

So, the same with your libido. Yeah, the fenders go out, everything's fine. Everyone survives. It's time guys. We see a nighttime turtle by the way, because since it's their moving a nighttime, they have to show nighttime fish footage. So we see this turtle a lot. As much as we talk about the five head fish,

the turtle is just trying to do its errands and is like constantly getting caught on camera. The Turtle is kind of like a mid-level celebrity, like a, like, a vanjalling lily type, you know, just like, I'm famous enough to be on TMZ, but not famous enough to endure this sort of scrutiny, so please just go away. I love that little Turtle. He just wants someone to say hi to him because he's doing that like sideways thing. First of all, I've never seen such a sprightly turtle. I mean sea turtles

really have energy because land turtles are lazy fox. Like everybody knows that we have entire stories about them. Like oh the turtle won the race even though it was slow as fuck which we all know didn't happen because turtles are lazy fox on earth. But in the ocean they're like, yes, I'm a turtle. What's up everybody? How fast everybody? How fast? But you know those turtles,

those sea turtles are probably so annoying to talk with because they're like, they're probably always humble bragging about all the predators they escaped growing up. They're like, yeah, I remember waking up on that beach and just like having just like run into the ocean. Like half my friends were just like eating and killed. It's terrible. I mean, I remember waking up on that beach and just like having just like run into the ocean, like half my friends were just like eating and killed.

It's terrible. I mean, I made it. I mean, I don't know. I have to like thank God for that. I like literally like, I praise God that I made it. I think maybe it's just, I think it's just a little stronger. Some like that.

I also ask for those because they're always trying to high five you. They're that kind of person because their arms are always out like that. So every time they're swimming, they're like, hey, what the pop-up? Swet that. I'm fissure-like. We don't fucking have hands. Like, yeah, you don't. So cool. They're also always going on smoke breaks. Could they like be talking to fish? Like, yeah,

so it was just like, it was a hard childhood. And I'm like, hold on a second, I gotta, I gotta go take a smoke and then go up to the surface to get some air. Then come back. Sorry. There's the only thing under their with arms to smoke. The only people they can smoke with are like, octaves. I. Any animal that needs to go out to the surface to actually breathe air,

that's like their version of a smoking break. Uh. But you have a how-to-wells gets a cigarette in their hole. Well, the cigarette's really just a metaphor for just oxygen, which is ironic. Well, I guess what we're doing to the environment kind of is, right? It's like, yeah, just take a hit of the earth. Oh, God, love those chemicals. Okay, so God, I love that turtle, it was the point.

So it's one hour and ten minutes, so dinner, provisions arrive, nameless, sandy, who they just call provision charter lady or whatever. Yeah. Show us that, and say, hey, it's me. Anybody want to have some fun, reparate? No, okay. Well, just take that color full of chicken. Okay, just return that.

Love you, signs in. All right. Well, all right. Well, just take the chicken and run, I guess. Well, Amy, thank you, me. No, thank you, me. No, thank you, Norma. You're the best. No, Norma, you're welcome. Thank you me. No, thank you me. No, thank you Norma. You're the best. No Norma. You're the best

Hey, I got now there's I was talking to this Norma and I'm talking to this Norma. Oh, am I Hey, I was a little lonely today in the rain. So I made some of my famous homemade rose compoyle you want some of that? No, okay I guess if you stayed and talked to me a little bit longer, I could have given it to you to give it to you. Yes. Well he talked to you. Listen, I tried to brag about it to a ghost, but she just carved me a piece of shit cook and backed away, so that wasn't very fun. I learned that on Google. Yeah. So now Zarina's like, she's like, here's my process. Step one, do good. Step two, pray that it tastes exactly like his mother's. And step three, go cry in the walk in fridge. Step four, then cry,

because you don't even have a walk in fridge. You just have a place you can walk around in next to a fridge. I was gonna say, what did you get a walk in fridge? You said then they're getting ready for dinner. They all arrive, it's like a big white party type thing. And the guys like, I tried to take a shower. That shit was crazy. So I was like, yeah, we were like fighting for our life in there.

Third season in a row with lots of heavy rock and on about, you know, because there was also there was a actual, you know, what this is a really stupid point. Like I'm about to go through like a list of the seasons where it votesed. So Aisha's like, Hello everyone, this is your Aerozo day pollo. Red did I say that right Aerozo to Pelo? No? Okay. Like, uh, like we should not want to be a kid. Learned how to say out horse compoyo. Is it going to be that difficult? Come on people. So um, uh, Serena's like, well, it'll be amazing if it's cooked. And then Jason walks in while she's plating. And man, Serena, I really like her, especially after this episode. But man, she just really piles up that food on the plate. But she's like football. Football. Are they in prison? Why?

I know. Are you slapping it on the plate like that? Make it pretty, make it into a heart, something. Yeah, like I would not say that elegance is really her forte. It really was just like a pile. Although it's definitely an improvement over the bowl of anonymous brown gunk that was on one episode was like a chocolate mousse cake

and then another episode was some sort of savory dish. It was like beef chocolate mousse cake and in another episode was Some sort of savory dish. It was like beef. It was the last cinnamon lamb So um, how do they say enjoy your meal and cue my everyone? They're like we say enjoy your meal They approved they're like Cuban approved. This is delicious. Yeah. So, Zaryna's like super, she's super happy. And so now Laura's talking to Adam. She's like, oh Adam, you want some nuts?

And he's like, I'm good. Yeah, are you nuts enough? Are you nuts enough to have nuts? Do you see what I do? It's worth playing. He's like, yeah, not enough. Not really sure what you're getting out here. I really don't want nuts.

Does this could be a thing between us? Having like not been to- I hope you are not enough. I hope so. I hope you are not enough, Adam. He's like, what the fuck? She goes, this starter, I'm all about who's Adam? Look out the picture.

I don't raise my time. I'm trying to see what this thing with Adam is about. I'm trying to give my love and care and see if there's any response. You want a bed after the charter's over. So meanwhile, Margaret threw something out. And Harry's like, he's like, oh, what was that? She's like, always fabric spray, it smells really good. I'm, you know what, I'm so gonna spray her bed when you're not looking. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, she loves my, oh, you do that. I was being crazy. That would be absolutely sunny day. So then Laura's talking to Harry and she's like, uh, Marco, uh, you should do something nice for her, not act of love.

And he's like, I'm gonna try it. So then Culver is trying to dinner because he's up flirting, which is eating protein. It's the way to call his heart. Just give Culver a very large tray of protein and a spray tan and he'll let you forever. He'll be so happy and he's like, he's like sort of tentative about trying it oddly enough.

And so he's like, oh, you need to trust the things I put in your mouth. Oh, yeah, my mom says the same thing. Oh, this is a little creepy. I wrote it. I wrote it, say it again, mom. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe So Harry writes a letter to follow the advice of Laura, you know, who really seems to be winning in all aspects. I would take her advice.

Hello, yes. And he goes to put it under Margaret's pillow. And she sees him coming out and she goes, what the heck was that? That was my room. Yeah. And he's like, well, you must be seeing things because I waited to my room. And she's like, okay, weirdo. So she finds the note and it says, goodnight, Miss Eme. Sleep well, thanks for making my bed so nice, exo exo here. She's like, oh fuck, I didn't

actually spray his bed with the Fubri's. I thought, I wasn't serious about that. Oh shit, gotta do it right now. She like runs and spritzes his bed. I really like Harry, because he's so sweet and nice. I mean, it's not really glamorous, grubbing toilets, but if I happen to bump into a guy on the way to scrub toilets and we have a nice little flirtatious moment, that keeps it fun and exciting, I guess.

Do I ever want to do anything intimate with him? Ever in my life, absolutely not. Absolutely no way 100%. But it's nice that he thinks of me. So now it's time for the memorial. So they bring the cake. Well, they're going to do the memorial service thing and then bring the cake.

And Jason's like, Shadow, I care, with the memorial service thing and then bring the cake and Jason's like, Shelah, I carry the cake and serene. It's like everyone wants the cake from a gorgeous man Do it squeeze your butter. The only way to carry this cake is to squeeze your butter. So why you hold it in your hand Do it. Oh, if only you are wearing a Camino inspired jumpsuit right now Best part about a jumpsuit is jumping on it. Am I right, everyone? Still hot. I'm still standing up for that kimono jumpsuit that we saw on below deck this week, which by the way, I'm in the wrong project runway.

If you guys don't watch Project Runway, go listen to the recap because it was below deck inspired this week and it was really good. So. So Renee starts doing his memorial, which is actually very lovely. He talks about how his mom, you know, they were basically homeless growing up and she

like was his cheerleader and all that. I was very nice. And then they serve this cake. And Asia just really is so happy that the team came together to pull off this memorial and have like a nice moment for the guests. So then me elsewhere, less concerned about the memorial is Laura who is continuing to flirt with Adam. And she goes, oh Adam, oh my god, I noticed perfume. I noticed perfume. It's kind of inclined one in a black bottle.

He's like, yo, that's pretty good because he shows you the black bottle as if she wasn't already in his room looking at what his cologne is and planting this entire flirtation. Oh, yeah, true. And he's shirtless and she comes in and she's like all over him and like hugging him and not letting him go. And he's like, yeah, I guess that was pretty good. And she's, yes, it is because we are meant to be Adam. I can smell profumes.

They sell it grass. So I understand. I know all that men colon is men in rust rest for less it's my talent do you want to make me pregnant right now no are you sure just as friend I have your baby as friend make me pregnant as friend put jumping this inside of me as As Frank. As Frank. They really are a fairytale woman. They are men for each other because I always said it's about time that we modernize the Cinderella tale.

It shouldn't be that Prince Charming finds a glass slipper. It should be that Cinderella finds a bottle of CK1. And that's how we know that they're meant to be together. But it has to be broken. Just to make it fair. Just to keep the fairy tales equal. So Prince Charmix is just walking around with a bloody gash in his neck. He's like, oh god.

Oh god, please somebody. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So now Jason, talk to Zarina and he's like you're putting out good food just keep that food improving you know what Zarina she really put her head down I was able to she was able to shine today all sim perfect and she's amazing. I was just checking on me I called this man just checked on me I can do anything, a roast comb, Apollo. So then Laura, now it's time for late night cleaning and Laura is doing is on Lates,

but she's with Harry. Harry's on Lates because Adam got taken off Lates because he was too incompetent to do it. Like, let's not forget that there's other incompetencies happening on this show. And so Laura is like, if I have to choose one person to be on night shift with, it would be Adam. And I had Adam for two chartals. And we had a little time together.

And when we could, you know, when I expel the CK one, and I knew we were refated. And now I don't have that. And the guys wrote it. So we also wrote it, yes. So it's a final day of charter and Serena's doing breakfast and Colver's like, hey, Chevy, what kind of protein you got for me the day? She's like, I've gone through lots of bad eggs. You're gonna have some eggs because she's practicing poaching the eggs, I guess. And so she's just kind of lined up poached eggs mistakes and he takes how many eggs does he takes like a good six five? God, he has like a good six five. God. Less. He has a boner. He has a boner.

Also, just your clear of, you just don't want to be downwind of Culver today either. By the way, just don't be downwind of him. Just stay healthy just in his way because that's those eggs are come back. So, um, so then Culver puts his hands on her back and like as a thank you, like sort of like a pretend massage and she's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

yeah strong beautiful man, rub my back. He's like, what was that mom? Oh, no, you could have proven to it right now. You're like, wow, you keep feeding me like that. I'd put a ring on that real quick. I had to run my mom would be coming back with a husband. I thought it would be the caption, not you, but you'll do. You'll do sexy, man. So then breakfast is served and Aisha goes to okay. Laura comes in to Aisha actually and she's like, oh,

comes then to Aisha actually and she's like oh, and Aisha's like, what's wrong Laura? It's like last night, even was so hard for me, it was very hard for me last night. Well it wasn't that late, it was a long season ahead, Laura, you could have to get used to it. Maybe one charter, We could change nights. Please, just one time. Change nights, please. She's so manipulative. She is so crazy. And she's like, I'm very, very tired, which

is important because she denies saying she's tired. But she literally says, I'm very, very tired. So she is like a nightmare. She is so manipulative and I don't know. I feel like she lives up to some of the worst stereotypes that have been ever put out there. So I was like, oh no, you know, mom is not strong enough on service. Come on, you can do it. I've done it for years and years.

Be your tea now, be your tea. And so meanwhile now, so everyone is feeding a pancake to Culver, which is like take that bitch, take that. It's like, okay, this is, this sort of getting out of my chef Kim Fancy right now. My mom never said that, oh yeah, I'll be your mother right now.

Oh, God, this is, I don't know how I feel about this. Right now, eat that pancake, call the putter in your mouth. You know, for me, it's personally, it's personality laughter with a man, you know, I had an ex-boyfriend that was so boring that, oh, of course I had him. I'll just wake up and other guys, and I would look down at my text messages and be like, oh my God, what the fuck? I just get forgetting. Corva is definitely a totally different vibe.

I mean, he did ask me to grant him the other day, which was a little bit uncomfortable, but he's not forgettable. So, there's that. Well, Zaryna's backstory is that she just, she was just accidentally cheating on her boyfriend because he was so, so forgettable. So, um, now Laura, Laura who has knock on her way is, goes up to Margot and she's like, oh, it's so mean to me and I don't understand why. I mean, she was literally not mean. It was like, no, you can't change.

This is the, this is the rule. And Margot's like, oh, really really why is she so mean and she goes oh I said nice she's so really hard can I change for one sweet little tata just for me to eat have a finger so tired from squeezing limes and she said no and Laura's like I was choose two but I'm not yachty according to Asia we're not going to work normally after that. Time to become yati now I guess. She passed off by herself and then now it's Laura and Aisha again. And Laura is like, So is there anything I can do to help you? Maybe you know, get some fake lime juice to trick people into thinking that you're giving them good service or something like this?

Is she like, no, not at the moment. Do you have, do you want to have a chat help a fool because you want to change because you're tired? No, I never say I'm tired. She's like, no, you definitely said I'm tired. No, I never said, I said I have tired some my car, but I never said I'm tired. my car, but I've never said I'm tired. Definitely, it's a tired. I love this. It's just a stanza and it's like, yes, you did. No, yes, you did. No, I did not say tired.

You definitely said tired. No, I didn't. A little shower saying, I'm very, very tired. It's just 10 minutes earlier. Last night killed me, it was to so hard I'm very very tired So Asia's like I don't want to change because the moment especially because I don't feel very comfortable that Margot can do service and Laura's like oh I just never meant Margot honey And she's like you

Was she saying was she asking Aisha to do late? So we she could do, she could run dinner service. Yeah, and Aisha's like, I'm the chief stew. So I have to be if it break for slunching. Then I can't work that way. I'm actually blown away. I've never seen a request like this. I don't know what fucking planning she's on But whatever planet it is I believe it's shaped like a lime This Laura is Just so

Crazy like I'm sorry like this this is like I Don't even know what to say on this show, you know, I mean it's really until we get later because I know what's coming later So I know how yeah, well this sounds, but it is what you want to see on this show And I until anything happens in the next five minutes when it does I'm thinking wow she's doing such a great job at this role, like she's such an asshole, but she's doing this like, healthy, I just want to do lives. Yes.

This is all I want. Like, she is so hilarious to me, and I'm like this, she's pulling this off perfectly, this role. And then it all goes to shit. Yeah, but it's funny because at the outside of the show, in full transparency, I was like, you know what, she doesn't get the hint, but I also appreciate that when Luke was like, I'm not interested in you,

that she didn't go trying to win him back or throw herself at him, she just, you know what, onwards and upwards. I was like, yeah. But then I was like, oh, no, she's terrible. No, this is terrible, but that's for later. But then with this stuff, I'm like, what I started to say before is, she's like the full stereotype of a lifetime movie. You know, when you see a lifetime movie

and they have people who are like this on it, you're like, those people don't really exist in real life. And I see Laura, and she is literally like every villain in a lifetime movie. Yeah. Lady villain, I should say. Um, she, well, to what you were saying earlier about how she's just like gave up so easy,

because it is like, well, why is she going so hard for Adam? Why didn't she maintain that kind of deal with Luke, where it probably would have been more appropriate, you know, because at least it would have been a more even playing field. And I think that's the problem with it, that it would have been more of an even playing field. It's like, he mocked her to her face. You know, it's like he, he had sex with her, mocked her to her face and then kind of like just dumped on her in front of people. Whereas this other guy, she can almost

be the, not almost, she can be the aggressor and she can be the gross one. And that's kind of the turn off. That's kind of the turn on in the situation for her is being the aggressor. It's disturbing. Yeah. This whole episode is fun. Laura is disturbing. Laura is so disturbing. Like, at certain point certain point, which happens roughly around now in the episode, she just goes from being kind of like this,

like hilariously manipulative person to just like disturbing. Like it's like, oh wow, like, somewhere along the way she learned that these are the things she has to do to get by and go get on in life And I'm like that's just that's just sad So it's just like what's next is she gonna have to chase and if she can drive the boat They can get down and put on a scort. Yes, please

He comes down in a scort. He's like just to help out. I was said I was needed in the scort. I really like to initiate it if so. I thought I'd be a team player and put on the scort. So Laura's like, but please don't say I'm not really a dirty please. Well, you did ask to change shifts after you would set you retired. And she's like, no, I did not say tired. Okay, you're going to be fine.

Are we good now? I'm good. Are you tired? I did not say I'm tired. Limey McLiamis, are you fatigued? No, I am not tired. What's so easy about it? All right, well you're back on shift soon.

So please be online. I'm sorry, time. Ha ha ha. soon, so please be online. I'm sorry, time. Ha ha ha. So, um, now everyone has to, um, change into whites and Lucas massaging Margo. And she's like, oh, that feels really nice.

And he's like, yeah, you know what else feels really nice. She's, what? Getting to do it. Okay, get the duty. And you said of your mind. I'm like, you didn't even give her a chance to, like, even, you didn't even do your, your gross joke properly. And she's like, I knew you were going to say something inappropriate.

Save it for the night. All that notiness. And she's like, all right, well, let's see if we can make it happen. If I can get you to yourself, which doesn't happen very often. And she's like, why? Because a hairy, yeah, I know. So I was like, oh, come on. Stop falling for the fucking asshole guy.

Who's sure Harry is goofy, but I don't know. Luke's Luke. No, Luke's disgusting. Um, also, we have to choose one, I guess. So what I'm saying, you know what I mean? You could just say, no, but you could just not choose anybody. That's okay. But she is, but to be fair, she hasn't chosen anyone. She's just receiving a massage and just responding to questions. Like, you know. She talks about how she's like, you know, then there's a nice guy, and he's too nice,

but then there's the jerk guy, and he's too much of a jerk. Yeah, so get what you deserve, which is what you want, you know. It's like, guys of, I don't know. I feel like it's a pressure on this show specifically to always be in a romantic. There always has to be like a romantic thing going on. I think there's like a pressure on this show. And I think, you know, I saw the Barbie movie. I choose me.

That's what I'm saying. I think that like, you're allowed to, I think you're allowed to weigh your romantic options and not be allowed for. Of course. Yeah. So I'm not saying she's not. Yeah, no, I'm not saying you're saying that,

but I'm just saying that, she's allowed to be like, hmm, she's allowed to go do locks it for a little bit there. So Renee, the guest's all now to give my anti-advice. So my anti-advice is it's okay to just tell them both to fuck off. Yes, please do. Actually, please tell them to fuck off. So the guests are now finally all leaving. And Renee is like thanking everyone. And he's like, all right guys, he's like, I've got two envelopes, okay?

The first one is what you earned. And the second one, got a little challenge for you, Cap. We're gonna do an arm wrestling contest, so they arm wrestle. And then, and Renee wins, like there's some back and forth. And Jason's like, oh, now he has an on the wrestling, the on the wrestling, but you'll see I saw it's take control. And then I realized you got to let the primary win. So let him take a pick.

Or at least that's what all side. Oh, so, um, oh my god, Renee, you won. A little turtles in the water. It's like, hey, have that. Yeah. Anybody got that. I mean, come on, anybody up there, come on. Anybody. Come on, somebody have fun, the baby.

Jennifer Aiden. Is Jennifer Aiden, turtle. Take it, baby. You're like, great, so great, baby. Have fun. So now it's tip-meeting and Laura immediately goes goes and pops down right next to Adam. Oh, you waited for me. Not a second wasted with her.

So Adam's like, uh, so where do you think we're going out to tonight? Yarrum. He's like, no dummy. Like going out, going out in Australia to party So now we find out the tip the tip is $25,000 so they're like you know, it just gets a big Asia like And she's like that's the biggest tip ever. I thought it would be 10 bucks each. Like geez, you had no faith in Renee.

Was it the cake and was it the face and the cake? What was it? Why are you probably, probably trying to push Tomahawk onto three people who don't eat red meat. Was it because he signed your email up to his solar subscription? I think that's what it was. They put a solar panel on the top of the top of the boat.

Well, we'll support that. So the helmet goes to Adam, the disco helmet of stupidity goes to Adam for being a deckhand who gets seasick. And the captain's like, I hope this gives you sea legs. You're done puking now. That's not going to help. And next time you're having an emergency at C and you have someone unable to help because they're puking, I mean, come on. I think you just need, we're going to have to just have a casting call for this entire season pretty soon. I know. He's like, yeah, don't puking the helmet. So it's just like, oh, it looks good on him. And Laura goes, everything looks good on him,

especially CK1, because that's what we are. We are to become one next base girl, what in the center form? So now it's time to get ready to go out. Everyone's getting dressed. It's time to go out. It's gonna be a great night of going out. Nothing could possibly go wrong. So Margot was like, he ding dong,

you ready to go out? And Harry is like, hi, you look right. And they're all ready. They don't even, I just have to assume that Laura was an hour late, and they just were sick of showing Laura being late again, because there's no way she was ready on time. So of course, Adam is stuck right in between her, because she's like, Shuster's up in right next to Adam, and he's wearing that done disco helmet. And then Serena's on the other side lifting her leg, and she's like, you're lucky I'm wearing panties. And then I was like, I'm not.

Oh, I'm not. And Adam's just like miserable in his helmet. Like, Jesus fucking Christ. I'd rather be stuck next to the big twa-duffy guy, don't speak English They not wear panties. I just wear sent of CK1 and other regions So they go to the club And Laura's like, Adam you can't stop looking at my butt

He's like no, I was literally just looking for pennies on the floor. Anything to not look at you right now. So the way that comes over, like he is weighted on every cast of below deck and his sick of their shit. Okay. So this little bleach blonde guy, he's like, hi, everybody. Guess what you're getting today? A family style banquet. Okay.

Your first course is this. Your second course is that nobody likes you here. Shut the fuck up and you bring you thank you bye. So Zarina is asking Adam Zarina and Adam go to smoke a cigarette Zarina is asking Adam how he feels about Laura being all over him and he's like yeah she's got to chill out a bit you know it's like she's acting like me the first time I saw Kangaroo Jack like way too excited and way too into it, you know? And so I mean, it's like, so you're not into it?

Or would you say you're sort of like a vegetarian being served Tomahawk, just not quite into it? And he's like, nah, I don't like it. She says, well, I feel that you need to just tell her properly, you're just leading the run, you know? And because, but I have told it, it doesn't work. And she's like, but you have to say, I just want to be friends. He's like, I did say that. And she's like, I know girls like Laura, because she's such a beautiful woman.

She's not used to people saying no to her. Babe, it's just not that into you, right? It's just not that into you. Then before you know it, they've taken over your life but the exact same car you have, died their hair and cut its look just like you. And stolen in your husband, right out from under you. Sorry, there's a commercial, it's like a full lifetime.

I know seriously. And next thing you know, Cameron Matheson is in danger. So Luke is now talking to Asha and he's like, everything that's going on, I love it. Thank fuck.

Thank fuck you took one for the team because you talk about Adam, like basically being stuck with Laura. Laura's so happy. Laura's so happy. Laura's like, you want the middle seat? Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo. Looks like he is.

Thank God. Cause now we can focus on Margot. He's like, you know, I take full responsibility for what he's with Laura. I mean, I was drunk in Dom, and you know, I think with my dick, I'm like, just because you say that does not exonerate anything.

Like, it's like this idea of like, I'm gonna take this sort of casual responsibility while I'm currently drunk. And that means that my behavior is okay. Cause I think with my dick, I think with my dick, and he goes, hmm, like, I'm not so into this reasoning. And we cut to the make out and the robe and then him being like, getting a shower

and then fucking into shower. So then we go to Laura and Adam and she's like, shall we just go onto another guy? And he's like, come on, why don't you just want to be friends, man? And she's like, shall we just go on to another guy? And he's like, come on, why don't you just want to be friends, man? And she's like, I want someone to be my friend and then the rest just comes natural. Yeah, and what if it never turns into that?

Like, what if it just is like, can't we jack and the two guys that go to Australia with him? You know, they just say it's friends at the end of the movie. You know what I'm saying? You will never do that with me, mine. You only in backwards. King guru. You want me to be king or unjacked you. I jacked like king. Jackie like kangaroo. Well, that got real bearded, Laura. Definitely not. This is just going to complicate and kind of creep out everything.

So I'd rather just stay friends with it Please stop talking about Jack and I'll fucking What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? I don't have a pouch. You want me to have a look He wants me to box my napkin pouch look you can put things to have a kid you put a kid in my pouch I'm not gonna lie this is turning me on a little bit, but no, it's gonna be too weird. It's too weird No, no, there's nothing wrong with you. You know, I like you as you're here I don't need you to be a kangaroo. Don't watch wrong with you then Nothing nothing. I just want you to be my friend. That's all and he's like whoa here

We go bro, you know what? I'm just trying to let Lord down easy, but she's just a habitual line stepper All right, she's just gonna like line step it like, I don't know what else to do. And she's like, I'm extra, I'm not. Does that make you intimidate? Does intimidate make you hard? Do it. Do I turn you on when I hop around the club? And then, my, by the way, my new favorite,

favorite B-roll sea creature, they just cut to a cranky ass moray yield out there. This is fish. It was a moray eel. This eel is like, it's what? Like someone just woke up this eel. Like, the fuck you just wicked me up for. This fish. This was in a super Mario. Do you remember this level where you had to deal with this huge fucking fish? Oh my God. It was one of the open world ones.

It was the Mario Odyssey is what it was. And I had this eel and you're like, oh my God, it's the biggest, scariest thing. But then it comes by and it's just like, fucking Mario. God, so got the mustache. That's sure. Fucking kids and the mustache isn't.

That fucking five had fish gone gun trying to make groceries. I had to. I have to do it. I have to do it. I put ugly old fish coming from under rock looking around, like what the fuck? I did a report on more eight yields in fifth grade. I had to do like a diorama.

And I was like very proud of it because basically I made like a clay moray eel and then I put it in the shoe box You know and I hung it with fishing wire You know like that's like very not fish and wire but you know like that like blue Very thin translucent wire I think it's fish and wire and then I put like blue Like cellophane around the front of the box So it looked like it was underwater and it also hid the wire.

So it looked like my more eight-yield was floating and I was so proud of it. To this day. We won Blue Batch. We won Blue Batch, but also I learned that more eight-yields are vicious little fuckers. And so that one coming out was like, all right, what the fuck is going on at this coral reef?

So he probably sensed Laura. He was like, oh, God, my axe here. Kangaroo role playing, I can't. So back to eating food at Laura's like rubbing his arm. Like she really is being disgusting at this point. Like he's blatantly said multiple times now stop, you know. And she's just getting grosser and grosser. So then Harry tells Margot, he's like,

should we go look at the water? What is Larry's? And she's like, I'm wasted. Don't even, don't do that, because he's doing like the okay sign with his hands. And she's like, don't do it that way to your hands. I don't even want to see that. I'm like that wasted right now.

Like, I'm like, it's just giving me nauseous, just giving you a moment. Okay. I know. And he's like, really? Because guess what? You have to go scuba diving. This means okay in scuba diving.

I'm like, I think that means okay universally. He's like, thumbs up. You know what, thumbs up means scuba diving. It also means okay. So I'm so glad I taken over by white supremacy groups for whatever reason. I was like, what the fuck? How did you steal the okay sign? And why is that?

Okay, like, it feels like it's a way things. Because it's a natural thing to do it. And then I'm like, oh my god, like even right now I just did it on the video. And I'm like, oh my god, I can't do that. Thank you. Thanks so much for stealing that from us. You hateful fucking big hits while we're at it. Give it back.

Yeah, yeah, fuck the white supremacists, just in general, I think there's never a bad time to say fuck white supremacists and the things that they co-op, like fucking the okay symbol and Tiki torches and Hawaiian shirts. Not that I'm going around trying to have like a Hawaiian shirt.

Hawaiian shirts, what's that? Remember Charlottes, I think it was, oh shirt. What's that? Remember Charlottes? I think it was, oh no, Tiki Turches was Charlottesville. I remember Tiki Turches. It was a small moment with Hawaiian shirts. I don't think they fully stole Hawaiian shirts, but just know Ed Muwan, if you ever see me in a Hawaiian shirt, just know I'm not supporting white nationalism,

because that's just bullshit. Oh Jesus, bullshit. I mean, take it back. Without us, without us. Yeah, guys, oh here, you can tell Oh, here, you can tell we're got you can tell we're getting to the serious stuff because we're wanting ourselves up. So, um, how are so anyway? So Margot was like, no, I'm like, really nauseous. I'm like, really, really wasted, you know, and he's like, okay, so he gives her the

signal again and laughs. And this is where she's like, Harry can be a little much like right now, he feels like an annoying little brother to me. I mean, it's a turn off to me when someone is like all over me. Like I don't want the guy who's aggressive and an asshole. And then I'm like, okay, I'll try the nice guy. And the nice guy is too nice. So I'm like, okay, I guess I'll do the asshole. And this is to your point, like don't do any of them.

Yeah, choose nothing. Choose you Barbie. That's what I'm saying. So then on Margo, clearly, again, very clearly says, I'm blacking out right now. And so Harry's like, have some water. And she goes, hey, no, that's what I'm seeing, man. So she does. She drinks some water.

And Luke sees this, you know, and then he just grabs a beer and shakes it up and then chugs it. And then takes off his shirt and starts like, strip dancing on the rails of the restaurant. No one else in this place is shirtless, but this guy is the piece of shit. So there's just like dancing and other stuff. Zarmine and Culver are like getting all up close on each other and Luke is all up on Margot.

It's just like dancing. And now they all go to the vans and Luke has stolen a centerpiece from the restaurant, which is really obnoxious, especially because it's like you work in service. And I don't think you would appreciate someone just walking off with something from the boat yourself, you know, and so you're just gonna steal from a restaurant. And it's a big ass centerpiece with a big ass porcelain thing.

So he stole that and he has it over his shoulder. Yeah. And Adam's like, oh my god, he stole the plant Like I haven't seen something like that since June you're high and he's old too, right? He's got to be like 26 God so old so then Harry

Margo goes into the van with Luke and Harry's in a different van and Harry's like, I don't understand go goes into the van with Luke and Harry's in a different van. Harry's like, I don't understand. Every time Muggle gets pissed, she dances with Luke. And then when she's not pissed, she tries to hook up with me. I'm like, I don't think she's trying to hook up with you. I think she was bored and she's allowed to dance with whoever she wants when she's pissed, to be honest. And Adam's like, well, it's fine, bro.

She's not going to make out with him. Don't worry. And then Laura gets in and immediately lies down on Adam. Oh my god. I forgot about her. So then Aisha is in the van with Cole, Culver and Serena and her seat and then behind them is Margot and what's his best asshole, Lou Lou. So, Aisha's like, I just want chicken noodles. Because she's wasted. And Serena's like, we're gonna get you some chicken noodle,

honey, best you've ever had. And Lou's in the back, and he's like staring at Margot's past out face. And Aisha sees it. And she's like, oh, now, I can't be his feelin' Lou. And he goes, I know. And she's like,

you should not be saying that old she's there And you're the one who fucking said it and so he said later. I'm gonna agree with her Huh, because he said he didn't say I know he said later like I'll have the God be later Oh, he said I know No, so they're like no you shouldn't be saying that like not at all, you know Oh, and I loved it. Confused. And this was great because Asha is wasted, but like her spotty sense, even being wasted, her spotty sense, she's like, something is like not right here.

So she's already like, no, you can't do this. And Zarina also was like, you agree with her. And she's like, you should be put together, babe. So now they get back to the yacht. And Asha just is like, now she's sort of like alert and she's just standing around. She's going to like shop-roan Margot makes you a maro get to the bed. I have to point this part out to you. I know this is like as a prudor film but that I've already fucked up the first part of but I just have to point this out because when

Sermina's like yeah I agree with her and Asia says yeah you should be putting her to bed. Luke puts his face down and Margot's again and he goes, can I put you to bed? And she's like, mm-hmm, he goes exactly. Oh, that's like repulsive. So then Luke is like, you want to cuddle with me a little bit and then he's like saying this as they're trying to get on the boat and they're like, mm-hmm.

And then he has like the planter and he drops it on the, he drops it on the on the docks, so like shatters, then he has like the planter and he drops it on the, he drops it on the, on the docs, like shatters. So he's like just on top of everything else. He's also, not only did he steal this plan, he's also destructive, just showing the different layers of his like total fuckery behavior. I mean, so he drops it and then leaves it of course. And there's shit, you know, everyone's shit face,

like literally stumbling up. And so asha walks Margot in and a colover of course is like I'm taking this plant to the trash can't Thank you mommy. I did do it free He's just hearing this voice. You're a good boy. You're gonna get some dutch babies baby He really thinks as you get a Dutch baby. It's like, I just don't want to pop tires this and that. I love pop tires this and that. So then he's on the dock.

Well, I guess they do have tires driving off the dock. So then he's just like, I don't want to see any drug. Can I spend taking advantage of? So I want to see him get into bed safely. Do you need water? She's like, yeah, I'll be back with some need water? She's like, yeah, she's gonna be back with some water. And she's like, okay, thanks. So then Luke is suddenly there behind Aisha,

and he's shirtless. And she's like, yeah. You materialized that in nowhere. And he's like, let's have a jacuzzi. She goes, no, let us change. And then Laura's like, I don't want to go see. And then Aisha is like, I just't want to go to Kuzi. And then Aisha is like, I just saw the way Luke was looking at you. I guess I'm sorry, Marco was like, I don't want

to go to see North Laura. And I was like, I just saw the way Luke was looking at you and I'm feeling very protective. And Margo was like, when I'm glad you're here, I don't want to go to Kuzi. I want to go to bed. I don't want his water and bed, No Luke. So she's just like in bed. And then it should just lead her. Well, she goes, yeah, she's like, I love you, good-bye. So she goes to get food or something. And then we cut to Serena and Culver flirting. And all this is, by the way, we see what Luke's doing. Luke has gotten in the hot tub and is under wear. No one comes. So he gets out and he's stumbling all over the boat and going to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Serena and Culver flirting and they almost kissed and hair is like, what's going on, everybody? Oh, fucking Harry. And she's like, come on,

you interrupted one decent, maybe kissing moment because all right, then you guys should kiss. So they do have like a little kiss. It was kind of cute. So now Lucas, then you go, I should kiss. So they do have a little kiss. It was kind of cute. So now Luke is like, let's go party upstairs. And he's like drunk. He's naked in a towel. And he's just like, ambley. His butt is out.

He's going through the hallways. And then the alarm goes off. And the boat loses all power, which is creepy as fuck, because at this point, we've seen previews of a door slamming. And I personally thought this as fuck, because at this point, we've seen previews of a door slamming, and I personally thought this whole thing from the past few weeks that we've seen this door slamming preview was leading up to some sort of fight.

But now we sort of get a sense of what's happening on this episode, and then when the lights go out, I just some like trying to feel like totally uneasy by this whole situation. Because immediately, I mean, the lights go out, and immediately he you turns and stops going up to the, because he's just told Laura let's go upstairs, right? So he's just you turned away and goes right to Margot's room in

the dark and starts crawling on top of her. And the producers thank God, caught this and have the cameras on and a light. And they're like, Luke, get out of there and he won't. He's like, gets, get out of there. And he won't. He's like, gets in anyway. And so the producer comes in and it's like slapping him on the back and Luke goes, thank you very much. Thank you very much. You can go.

You can go. No, you gotta get down. Yeah, he goes. She wants to go to bed. And he's like, Mago, Mago, you okay? And like, he's trying to like get consent, quote unquote, by saying like, oh, really? Margo, are you okay with this? And it's like that she can't consent. She's shit. She's just blackout drunk and she's told you that multiple times, dude. The fuck out of there. Exactly. And she's saying like, uh, yeah,

it's sleepy time, which is an uncut her sort of like uncomfortably or trying to probably be like, yeah, it's sleepy time, which is an unheard sort of, like, uncomfortably or trying to probably be like, don't wanna do this. And it looks like a UK, and she's like, yeah. And then he's like, all you attend at a ten or a nine out of ten, which I'm not even really sure what he was implying that I guess the terms of wastedness. He's saying like, are you okay, okay? Or are you, oh yeah, I see what you're saying.

I don't know, I also don't know. Do you need, I thought he was taking it as like, are you for sure okay? Like, you're definitely, I was taking it as like, you're definitely okay with me being here so I can make them get the fuck out of your room as how I was taking it. Which I was just.

It could have been all gross. It probably was more likely that. I'm not sure what it was, but the point was that like, he needed to get out there and you have the producers also saying, like, get out of the bed, you know? So finally he like gets out of the bed and then the power comes back on. And then he's like, can you fuck all four sick into the production?

And then he's like, he's fully naked now. He's not like not even in his towel. He just naked. He just slams the door on the producers. So now the producers are mad. And before they were mad, but now they're really mad. And they're like, come on, you gotta open it. You gotta open this door.

And Luke is getting really bledred. And then finally, he just opens the door and he storms out naked. He's like, Jesus, cross mites. And he goes down the hallway. And Aisha's coming back down the hallway. She's coming back from the Gallagher. She wanted to get her noodles.

And she's like, dude. And he, I, they believe that what he says, but I kind of imagine that he said cut fitness, right? He says fuck them. Oh, and then she goes. It just seemed to I seemed it seemed based on his character that he would say cut fitness. No, he didn't go that far I thank God, but he just was like fuck them and then slams his door and that's the end of episode six. Don't 6, don't, don't, so yeah, I was I was I was positively rattled by this. I could not actually believe how much I was rattled at this I was rattled by the fact that it was so it was such it was so egregious and so incredibly wrong, but also you know I was like God you know had to all the people who don't have a production crew there to intervene, it kind

of broke my heart. Like, it was just really terrible. Yeah, it's seeing the reality of it and how real it is, you know, how quick it happens. It gets like that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Fucking crazy. Well, we'll be talking about the aftermath of all of this in the next recap.

So check back for that. Thank you guys for being here. We'll talk to you in a couple of Mondays over on, take us, sorry, over on Crafty Hour on Instagram live every Monday, every other Monday, 5.30 PM, Pacific and 8.30 PM Eastern Standard Time. We will see you later. We're going to go record this other episode. Okay? Alright, we'll see you over there. Bye.

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