Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Down Under: Scuba Dooby Don't

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

Aesha lets guests drink before a SCUBA expedition, which is a big no-no on Below Deck Down Under (S02E16). Plus, Margo ruffles Jamie's feathers, and Culver puts on a show. We also give an overview of episodes 14 and 15, which we skipped.Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/89185439See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What Kids, what happens when they're so out of rabbits? You're a crap. Oh, when you don't run around. Kids, what happens when they're so much in rabbits? Hello, and welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today

is Mr. Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie, how are you? Hi Bam. Doing great. So good to be here with you. My little honey bunnines. Oh, oh god, I'm so happy to be here with you too. Although I have to say, my walls are up a bit when I'm with you Ronnie.

I can't, you know, I've heard so many things about you that I'm just a little bit my walls are up a bit. I'm just a little scared of the things I've heard about you. Is this the real Ronnie? Is this like fuck boys never change Ronnie? How dare you? How dare you? Incinuate. That's I am frick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! We're talking below deck. The first episode of the week.

By the way, our schedules, it could be slightly wonky only because we needed to preserve our sanity. We just didn't have, I'll just say for me, I didn't have it in me to take notes on two below decks back to back Monday night and turn around and be, I wasn't ready. So we've done, we're having below deck, we're recording below deck now,

as you're hearing, as you're listening, below deck is up. The next episode though, is gonna be Salt Lake City and then we'll have the second below deck, we're recording below deck now as you're hearing as you're listening. Blow deck is up. The next episode though is going to be Salt Lake City and then we'll have the second blow deck up. So if you're wondering where's the second blow deck recap, that's how that's all going to be. This is, you know, when you're a Bravo commentator, every, every Bravo person knows this, every Bravo watcher knows this.

What am I talking about? Any Bravo fan knows this. What am I talking about? Any Bravo fan does this. When you are a Bravo fan, there is a time of the year where they just cover you and shit. Okay, yeah, I see. They're like, I dare you to keep up with Bravo. I wish I had you to keep watching this channel.

And it's not that it's bad, shit. But they throw all this stuff like nobody can keep up with it. I don't mean we can't, obviously we can't, we love it. Like we do it all day. But it just means like how do you expect viewers to keep up with? Listen to the schedule this week. Real housewives of Atlanta,

real housewives of New York City. Real, what was an Atlanta? Atlanta super sized. Yeah Atlanta was super sized. New York City below deck down under, below deck down under, real housewives of Salt Lake City super sized. New York City, below Decker, below Decktown, under real housewives of Salt Lake City, super sized. Super sized.

With our next one, Southern. Our charm, super sized. Our county, Bob Bordey. Super sized. What the hell? Well, you guys, it's a lot more than that time in the world. For people to keep up with all your shows. Give us a minute.

I know. We have a lot. We have a lot. We have a lot. Plus, we also recorded our dwell hello. This, that's coming up this week, which was really fun. So it was just a lot. And so it was just, you know, this is just the world we live in right now,

our Bravo world. So if you're wondering, If it's a fun world, you know. It's been this, yeah, it's been this like all day avalanche of just taking notes and I've been cracking up the whole time So luckily everything on Bravo right well most everything on Bravo right now is amazing and It's been super fun like I can't wait for us to do our Salt Lake City recap and our Southern charm recap Which we're gonna be doing later today just you'll have to wait for it to come out

But we're gonna have fun doing that But by the way speaking of recaps and not doing recaps, we didn't even do below deck down under last week. I should mention. Oh, by the way, we are still on our intro. So of course, go to patreon.com slash watch our crap ends. You can watch us on video, which is really fun with crap is on demand. And next week we got crappy hour happening.

We're going to be talking all about Bravo stuff, Bravo news, Bravo gossip, there's new Lindsay and Carl stuff every single day. So that's gonna be 5.30 on Instagram, go follow us at Watch Your Crappens, super fun stuff. Okay, but we didn't do below deck down under last week, mainly because I had COVID. And I was like, I can't do two more shows. I am dying.

Luckily, it's a holiday week. So that we took Monday off and the only way to do that. Look, it's a lot of a low deck. It's a lot. And we figured we could catch up on it today, which we will, which we can go along. There's going to be stuff to explain. Yeah. I was going to say, the previous leads kind of covered everything we missed. I was going to say, why don't we just go through the Few things that they mentioned in the previously is because those are all pretty I mean, they were all pretty fun We got a lot of people being like oh god. You guys have to mention this everyone

wrote to us about Culver's card to Jamie a lot of people were really Taken by that and not a good way, you know because basically what we missed was that Clover decided to ask Jamie to be his girlfriend even though they've been on the boat together for like 10 days and he did it in a way but he made this little card and like a checkbox it says like will you be my girlfriend teeth and it's like a yes or no. And it was like a picture of chef Kim holding like, you know, Dutch baby, other jobs holding a holding Jamie's face while she's wearing a wedding veil. And then in the other hand, it's like Chef Kim was like the flower girl, but instead of flowers, it was a Dutch baby. Hey, this is crazy.

But here's my number. Call me Dutch baby. But here's my number. Call me Dutch baby. Nothing wrong with the chef Kim. So that was creepy. And Jamie did this thing. First of all, Jamie has a real devilish side to her, which I really like. She has like a totally bitchy side, which I love. And we saw it when he asked her that because her eyes turned evil.

Like she got this evil glint, she hated him. You knew. I think that anybody with any kind of sense saw how much she hated his guts in that moment and still signed yes, which was super weird, but I don't know what she was thinking or why or she I don't know, but you could tell that she hated him, which maybe is part of a relationship. You know, like I look at my parents, I'm like they're still so in love in their own weird way after all of these years.

They're coming up on 50 years. I mean, they're close to 50 years. And I wouldn't say they're like making out all the time, but they're still together every day. They hang out every night. They love each other. And my mom also, on the other hand, I think hates him and will eventually split his throat publicly. I don't think it'll be a secret. I think she's going to wait until we're all at a loobies and she's just going to slit his fucking throat and crack her marrow. And you know, that's love. Like, what can I say? So maybe for some people, it's like, I hate him enough to love him. I don't know what it is, but I can't tell you this.

She hates him. I got that vibe too. I got the vibe that she wanted to say no, but was on camera and didn't want to seem like a bitch, and she didn't want to seem crazy, so she was like, she basically said yes, but she also didn't have any other options. She was like, I guess this will work.

I don't know, but she was so turned off by it. She later says she was really turned off by the yes and the no aspect, even if it had just been like a car, but like the fact that she checked it, she hated that. She was too soon, and I think she's also something that's about to chase a little bit. You're 30 years old. You're 30 years old. And I think she also is someone who enjoys, I don't know, she wants something

like a little bit more elevated, right? So like she was pissed off and later in the next episode, they go out and we learn that their tradition is whenever they go to dinner that someone on the crew pays for dinner and Culver keeps on avoiding paying and this time they're like Culver, it's your turn and he's like, what? What?

Hold on, Chef Keem is on the phone. Hold on, I gotta take this call, I'm gonna step outside. So she wound up paying for it and then she got so pissed at him. On their first night as boyfriend girlfriend. Yeah, cause on top of it all, not only is he a man, baby, with no work ethic, he is all so cheap. He's like notoriously cheap for apparently, and doesn't even care that she paid for it.

Like, didn't give her money, didn't give her whatever. And I mean, I know the guy works out a lot. You know, why? Because the cameraman won't let me forget. Because it's constant, slow mo of culvert, and there's hot fucking body. Okay, which I thank you for. I really do. I love it. I'm not complaining, but I know that he works out a lot and everything else, but really, you're going to sleep with him that night. Who was going to fuck the guy who wouldn't even pay for the bar tab and you had to like pick

it up? That's so ox. I would not have given him any of your beautiful self, Jamie. Okay. No, no. And then, and then on top of that, when they got back to the boat, I would not have given him any of your beautiful self, Jamie, okay? No, no. And then on top of that, when they got back to the boat, I think that he was like trying to hang out with all the other yachties. And then she's like, he wanted to have a budget and a moment party. Okay. You're already budget enough for tonight, sir. Okay. Add a T to the end of that.

You budget motherfucker. Okay. You better get in here and service her properly after all of that. motherfucker. Okay. Yeah, because she wants to get in here and service her properly after all of that. Budgets muglers. That's what he's wearing. Yeah, because she reserved like a sweet. She reserved like sweet number four. And then he was like up in the hot tub. Because I think that she requires a bit of attention and he does not give it the way like there. It's so doomed. It is so doomed. So that was mortifying for him. The other big thing that happened, of course,

is that Margot, all season long, she's wanted to get onto service, and she gets onto service, and it's tough because the guys are hard, because they want to drink that wheel of whatever. Oh, the guy who had the seizure, he liked they shipped him off to the hospital, and they're like, oh yeah, this happens to Josh all the time actually.

So don't worry about it. That's Josh. You know what Josh loves? Sodium. I mean, just getting Josh off that sodium is something else. You know, don't not. It's like train spotting, but for sodium lovers. Okay.

Oh, seizure cells, seizure shells at the seizure shore. Am I right guys? Oh, class cell, seizure shells at the seizure shore. Am I right guys? Oh, class of Josh. If anyone is wondering, uh, Pita seizure seizure. Little seizures. Little seizures.

Seizure salad. That sounds good. That's those are called the episode last weekend. What I thought about when I was lying in bed with COVID, I was like, if we do this episode, I'm going to call it seizure salad. Um, if anyone is wondering why I'm making fun of seizures, is because I had to go to the hospital. He's like, you're gonna seize out. You have too much sodium.

So now that's all I think about. I look at sodium, I'm like, well, I got to say, I love sodium too much. Can I have a seed? So anyway. My lower eyelid is seizing, by the way. My lower eyelid is having spasms. Have you ever had a spasm in your lower eyelid?

It is so weird. It's happening right now. It's happening right now. It's something just because we're friends and I'm not trying to degrade you. What? Are you ready? Yeah.

Your eyebrows are having a seizure. Oh, I can't. They're on your eyebrows. You guys should see Ben right now. My eyebrows are crazy. You look like a man that bats you love when she takes the gel and starts jelling, gel brushing her.

No, I have, my eyebrows are, I've developed Peter Gallagher eyebrows over life. And I'm not even self-conscious about it because I find them to be equally funny. Like I'm not even embarrassed. I'm like, guys, please, like, no, but they stick up writing in Dom as always. He's always in there trying to fix them.

But it's one of those things that like once you start fixing them, now they're constantly like that. And you should see my dad's, it's because I get out from my dad. My dads are like, my dads are like those, those, those as you see later night for the canopies that swing out over your backyard, you know. And so now I have them. I don't know how I'm like, well, they come right down. They come right down.

No, they're going to come back up again, sir. But you know, sometimes, too, I think they're from age, which I hate to say, but I know it is. We are ageing. And the eyebrows do start getting crazy when you're aging. And I will pluck one. I'll pluck a straight, but then it grows back even crazier. So don't be that.

That's the thing. That's what I'm saying, is that like now, like that's the process of like plucking eyebrows. And first of all, I don't want to come out of it looking like what's her face, Joan Crawford, okay? But I also, and I'm afraid to like cut them because I'm afraid I'm making them look even stranger. So I just sort of, you know, I'm like,

you know what, they're just wacky. Oh well, I love that it was really cute. They're like, who the eyebrow is wacky? They're wacky, we're wacky crazy eyebrows. They're seizing, yeah, for sure. So funny. Okay, so Cesar guy, So he's okay. He lived He's fine. Oh, also we didn't mention the biggest star of this episode

Stars, shall I say because they were co-stars They were too gigantic mouthed Lazy sharks on the ground. They were just on the ground lying there together on a date They were like literally just lying on the ground. I've never on the ground. They were lying there together on a date. They were like literally just lying on the ground. I've never seen that. Well, I did when baby gorgeous is dead, everybody. I'm sorry.

I have to announce that baby gorgeous died. It's really sad. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want condolences. I don't want anyone yelling at me because I did my best and I read all the books and I hadn't aquarium for baby. I did everything right. Baby gorgeous is past.

I don't want to talk about it. Baby gorgeous did lay down a lot. But and I thought it was cute but maybe baby gorgeous maybe that wasn't normal. You know I don't know. Maybe it was like something terrible. But I think it's our well. I think it's my neighborhood well. So I just like to say fucking neighborhood well. And next time you guys ask me for more money for HOA, I'm going to show you a picture of baby gorgeous. It was now dead, probably because of you, even though I treated the water, so thanks a lot. Dicks.

Wow, I guess that's real karma for coming from my eyebrows, huh? Yeah, it just happened. Literally. I can't even remember who's basically worth it. More than me. You're a pet died, and I'm like, well, that's what you get. No, I'm just kidding. I was just being ridiculous.

No, you don't have to apologize. It's my fault. I'm the murderer, and also I being ridiculous. You don't have to apologize. It's my fault, I'm the murderer. And also I'm murderer. I am, and I've gotten a lot of messages like, Ronnie, you better take care of this fish. And here's how to take care of this fish. I'm a fucking beta professional, and then I know. And by the way, I'm not bitching at you.

Thank you for all your advice. My thing, the reason I'm mad is because I actually followed that advice. I did what you guys told me. I got the tank that you guys told me, the size that you told me. I treated the water like you told me. I did the testing like you told me. Baby gorgeous was like my friend.

Like he would come up to the window and like, he was sweet. Why would he tell it me like a dog? It was such a good guy, you know? And then it's like, what did he do? You know, he didn't do anything to deserve this. And really neither did Caesar go. What did your eyebrows do to deserve to get made fun of them? They were going through that trauma.

Nothing, but it still happened. I just don't know, but the point is that Ronnie, but Ronnie, what the point is that sometimes nature happens. Okay. There are things we can't control. Whether it's our eyebrows or our fish. Listen, fish are famously very die-forward pets. Like they are.

They're like one of their big features is that they often go belly up. And you can treat them. You can take care of them so well. But fish die. Fish die, fish die all the time. That's one of the saddest things because parents give fish at parties. You know, they still do that.

Sometimes they give people as party favors a little bag of a goldfish. You know that goldfish is going to be dead in two days. And you're just teaching kids to just totally not care. You know, you're already desensitizing them to this shit, you know. And I just want to say, I'm not desensitized to it. I cried over baby gorgeous for a long time. You were very sad. Oh my God, it's just some gum. I'm not desensitized to it. I cried over baby gorgeous for a long time. You were very sad.

Oh my god, it's just some gum. He's not getting choked up everyone. He's just chewing gum if you're wondering. Maybe it's getting choked up. But either way, baby gorgeous was a hero and an icon and we will all remember baby gorgeous, a wonderful beta fish. And baby gorgeous, a wonderful beta fish. And beta and baby gorgeous, his spirit is going to live on in the B-roll below deck down under which features the best marine life ever seen on Bravo. And it really has climax with the two fat whale sharks sitting on the bottom of the ocean holding hands like a nearly 50 year old married couple hands, like a nearly 50 year old married couple. One whale shark kind of hates the other whale shark, but you know at the end that it just is love, it is whale shark love. No, guys.

Okay, so what Marco got from is, Marco's a goddamn alcoholic, so that's what this all started, which is that Margo who is like, I just wanna be on service, she finally gets on service and she's doing okay, but then Luke texts her and it kind of like fucks her up for the day and she starts drinking on the job. What the fuck was that text?

By the way, I didn't write it down, but the text was something along the lines of, this is Luke and I would appreciate a moment of your time when you've got the time to spare, to speak with you in person. No. No. I don't think so. No. I don't think you get a televised monologue apology, sir, which is what you're going for.

You want that good old-fashioned apology on camera, which you are being refused. And I think it's right to be refused, sir. So fuck off with your text. That's what I say. And I'm so glad she didn't call him back. Yeah, I'm really glad she didn't call him back, but I also felt really terrible for her because that really will fuck you up.

Yeah, it's not an excuse to drink on the job but it made me understand like why she wasn't thinking so clearly in those moments. So she was drinking on the job and Asia, I have to say, like, Asia is, she really, I mean, she, Asia messes up for sure as we'll see in this episode, but like, she really picked up on the fact

that Margot was drunk, but she was, she's sussed it out. I guess maybe it's not that hard, but to me, I don't know if I would have messed up. Well, Margot seems like she's always drunk. That's me honest. Margot, we've all known that drunk. I have some of us who've been one,

or are currently one now. As far as we've seen Margot's before, he just walk around like, well, you know, I mean, I don't know about that. Fuck that iron, but really, I love shirts. God, you know what feels good? Sand in my toes. God, I love that.

Which shows air conditioning in me. Talking to a fucking boy like we've all seen Mark. Good job, Margo. Like all of a sudden very loudly praising herself. You did it, Marge. Well, pat on the back, Marge. Oh, Marge, that was pretty hard, Marge. Sorry, Marge.

So we've seen it and she definitely is veering into that territory. Also, I'd like to, well, two things. First on the subject of Aisha noticing it. Of course, because Aisha's one of those tricky fucking people. You know, H.S. is like, I'm so nice. All I want to do is help my employees. She's getting right in your ass and smelling your breath is what she's doing.

So she's taking people all the time. She's like the fucking detector of anything. She can fill both your doctor. She can fill a lump in your body if there is one there. She'll know her drugs. Love lot of them. She'll know if you just fucked, you know. She's just like an animal sniffing around, figuring out whatever CSI shit she's got to figure out about you. Yeah, she knows. So Marco got into trouble. Oh, the other thing, I'm so sorry Ben, the second part, because I said the first part, okay, I know you're all excited. This is huge. The second part, I also blame Laura for this because Laura was second stew before she got fired, her stupid ass. And by the way,

you're not forgiven really one person who hasn't apologized even over text. But she was constantly drinking on the job in front of Margot thinking it was hilarious. Like, look at me having this wine and all that. And so I think that when you see somebody do that at work, then you're like, oh my God, she didn't get in trouble. And she's clearly wasted at all times. So she thought it was kind of fun and funny to do it, but you know, Blotman's underlining comes back. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

Um, so yeah, so that happens. She gets in trouble about alcohol undermining. Commershoes, here comes one right now. Watch what happens and winter is crappening of the funniest recap broadcast. But if you want something more eerie, try the new podcast, Ghost Story, about my investigation into a murder suicide in my own family.

Ghosts aren't real, at least that's what I've always believed. Sure, odd things happen in my childhood bedroom, but ultimately I shrugged it all off. That is, until a couple of years ago, when I discovered that every subsequent occupant of that house is convinced they've experienced something inexplicable too, including the most recent inhabitant who says she was visited at night by the ghost of a faceless woman.

It just so happens that the alleged ghost haunted my childhood room might just be my wife's great grandmother. It was murdered in the house next door by two gunshots to the face. Ghost Story, a podcast about family secrets, overwhelming coincidence and the things that come back to haunted us. Follow Ghost Story wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on October 23rd or you can binge early and add free on Wondery Plus the same day. So she gets the trouble but she doesn't get fired which is good. And then the other thing, so Zarina finally gives in and makes that was wow.

And they go from like flirtation to making out to full on bunny sex happening in the bunk. They just do it, do it and they do it hard. And not only that, they go from like flirtation to now they are acting like an old married couple because like they're constantly like touching each other and kissing each other in the galley, which honestly I'm actually okay with, but I am wondering what's going to happen with Zarina and her friend who may or may not be Brooke from Blood Deck Med.

I think it's not Brooke because at some point she said her friend Billy, so I think that was B. Yeah. Um, so. So, yeah. Yes, exactly. Huge new story. I'm sorry.

To people who live in the past, to bad over max. Joao kind of looks like a lesbian. You know I could see that. So certainly a sturdy person. So yeah, they ended up banging like little bunny rabbits. There is so much chaotic crazy energy in this couple. I mean from both sides, really. And they've also got, they're acting like an old married couple and how they're touching and

how they're treating each other, but also the resentments that they have towards each other are already like they've been together 20 years. I mean, she resents him 20 years worth for sure. And he didn't do anything to her. She has seen them on TV certainly and she has seen how he has treated her friend and so she knows better. But now she's resenting him for things he hasn't even done to her yet. Which I don't really think is fair. Although, shit, I mean, I resent a lot of people who haven't done anything to me yet, you know. I mean, I resent Britney Spears' husband. He hasn't done anything to me. I've always resented him. You remember him? I remember him. I remember him.

He was getting a picture. Yeah. I took a picture with him. I took a picture with him because he was hot. And I just remember Sam, what's his last name? As Gary or something like that. As Gary. I remember talking to him.

It was like Katie Kizorla's party. And so I was talking to him. It was not easy at all. He was actually very, very nice. And he was saying. As he stared at him exit sign, by the way, that he's one of those people that you're talking to him, but he's not.

He's like, yeah, I'm so nice. And he's like literally looking at the exit sign. He has a surprisingly high voice. And it was just very funny because we were talking and he's like, oh, he's like, so you do podcasting? And I'm like, yeah, I'm on podcast he goes. Oh, yeah I've been on radio before they say I have a pretty good on radio. I have a good voice for a radio I was like, uh-huh. Yeah, absolutely Sam really for what channel the tell the Tubby's do they have a tell the Tubby's channel on serious

You're you're a shoe in okay. I'm going to do it. I was like you know what? You may have just the most amazing body, but I'm going to do it. I was like, you know what? You may have just the most amazing body, but I'm like, you know, sometimes you go for little wins in life and I'm like, I'm like, but the voice. So anyway, the point is, the point is, what was the point? What was this recap that's going to be? No way. No way.

No way. No way. No way. No way. No way, no way. So much to cover on Bravo. You know what we should talk about? My parents. Sam's. Let me tell you something. So, aren't you? Wow, they are acting like two happy sharks on the bottom of the ocean right now. But so the last thing that happened, which was honestly my favorite thing, one of my favorite

things that happened all season, I think you know what this is, Ronnie, electos fight, dairy fights. So this group of women, I meant to look at their preference sheet, because I'm convinced they all work in tech in some way up in the Bay Area where they work at like sales force or something, or like Yahoo, they're like the last employees of Yahoo. So they're all up there on this boat, this group of women, it's girls trip, and it's like just chaotic rage towards each other. And so there's this one girl named G. And so they all have different food preference. One girl's sort of semi kosher. One girl does. So I think she doesn't need bacon. One girl doesn't need gluten. One girl doesn't

need this. So there's one girl named G and she's lactose intolerant. And she forgot to put it on to her preference sheet, which is kind of dumb. I mean, how do you forget to do that? But she forgot. So she has her pills and there's this one girl Sarah who just can't conceive that this woman could be lactose intolerant if she has pills. She's like, well, you have pills, so that makes you not lactose intolerant

because you've got pills to fix it. And she's like, I know because G is asking Asia like how much dairy is in this because she wants to know how many pills will take. Right. Now Sarah is a fucking slob monster for. She's a she's a nice Sarah shame on you. She's a half of you.

Back shame on half of you. You know she worked at house H.A. U.S. and she like runs some sort of account management thing and everyone under her can't stand her. You know it. She's a slob monster. She works at Uber. She works at Uber headquarters.

I feel like she works at Ashley furniture and she's like really overly aggressive on Recliner couch sales. And she's just like, she's bullying me into buying a couch so I still hate to this day. I took notes on that couch. I fucking me back out. I think she works in corporate America in some way, but corporate tech America. And when you get an email from her, you, your heart starts to race in a bad way because

you know there'll be so many bullet points and so many things in bold and so many things in italics and All and then the hyperlinks and like agendas You know the type of email Ronny because I know we know the type of you know And you know her I've and you know her iPhone background is her on her wedding day girl I'm always will be her eye and you know her iPhone background is her on her wedding day. Oh girl. And always will be. You know, it always fucking real. And she's one of those people who tries to have like a burner Facebook account.

So she can like talk shit to people and not get fired from her job. But she can't resist having one photo of her wedding. You know, it's like, oh, it's a picture of a squirrel. Oh, it's a picture of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Oh, it's a picture of a pride flag. Oh, but a picture of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Oh, it's a picture of a pride flag Here's me getting married. It's like we see you God you can't even stop from posting your fucking wedding picture on your fence to okay So anyway, she's a slob monster. So this chick gets so mad at this girl G

And she's like what's the big deal deal I'm not saying I can't have dairy I'm saying I have to take a dairy pill that's not shit who doesn't put that on their preference she who doesn't and this woman is going crazy screaming in her face screaming with their little slot monster face spitting all over poor G and she's like what the hell what do I do and so she gets up to leave and then then this other girl, the Sarah girl, keeps yelling in her face and comes up and she's like, nobody likes you. And we had to pick straws on who's going to share rooms with you. That's how much everyone hates you. Wow. And then she tells her,

and you can't talk to me like this, I'm the primary. I'm the thinking that she is doesn't want to be a mortifying below debt guest and be an asshole about the preference sheet. I see where she's coming from, but you're being the biggest monster of the entire season now. Exactly. By the way, also it's like the only non-wiker of the group.

And so, and they're grabbing Sarah. They're covering Sarah's mouth. They're like Sarah. You're gonna regret that's just no one likes her. She's a cut fitness. No one likes her. That's like, she's lactose intolerant.

They're like questioning her being lactose intolerant. They're questioning why didn't she put it on? And like, they're questioning why she's having a conversation. So having you standing there the entire time, by the way. Like, so do you need, is it okay if you have dairy and you're in your brown Your brown bowl of food tonight and yeah, I'm working very hard on that turning dairy brand So I'd like to know if it's gonna work tonight for this dish And also friends trying to lactose in your tummo hot stick tonight. Is that okay?

Can't have lactose but you can have tummo hot, right that way all your tummo hot can tolerate in your Tom Hock stick tonight. Is that okay? Can't have lactose, you can have tumble, right? That way. All your Tom Hock intolerant. You have pins for Tom Hock. So her friend is trying to talk her down from the ledge, and she's screaming. And of course, and this happens in the second episode too with another pair of women who think that no one can hear them because they've closed the door. Do you not have bravo?

Is there no bravo where you people live? That's when they turn the mic's up. You dummies, boom, there's you. So this first pair is in the bathroom and she's like, I hate her, she's a cuff fitness. And her friend goes, I like her and I'm just trying to be a peacemaker. So maybe she's a cuff fitness.

I love cuff fitness. I don't say I thought that was like one of the most lovely defenses of someone. You know what? Because like that was like she's like, I know who she is and I love her for it. I was like, that was so great of her. Yeah, so then we these women do a dinner where of course they're like, can we have the guys serve us in speedos?

Which is like a new thing which, you know, Bravo, I know you think you're hilarious. And I wouldn't even compare men being treated this way to women being treated, I'm not gonna be like that because men do not have a history of being completely devalued by women and treated like sex objects. And I'm not even gonna compare them and anyone who does this full of shit,

you need to rethink that. I don't care if you're a man or the woman just goes the same for all of you. It's not the same. But it's still not a great look. And to have it happen in every time there's like a great, it's happening too much. And I don't know. I feel like we've come a long way to just, it's going to look really bad in a couple of years when people have decided.

I've just, you know what? It's for me, it's more like, yes, it will, it will, but for me, it's also just like, I'm just kind of getting over, I'm like a little over it. Like, I'm just, listen, I love seeing guys. I love seeing shirtless guys. I'm just sort of bored with it a little bit, you know? To me, it's not even like about sexism

or assault or anything like that. It's about sheer disrespect. It's just gross. Like I think it's just, I think it makes you all look gross. And I think it makes you look like you're treating people. Like, I don't know, it's gross. I don't like it.

It's not a good look. So basically this whole room is terrible. And the captain is invited to dinner and refuses. He's like, no, I will take a lot. I will not sit with you, slabs. There is no fucking way I'm doing it. So he didn't do it. And I was like, good for him.

Good for him. I am so, I'm so curious to know what these women do. And I'm like trying to look it up. I know the moment I press play on the episode to try to look at the preference sheets, it's gonna make noise on the episode. So I'm just gonna to like not look. They're all going to be different too.

We don't have time to sit here and read. I just want to look at one of them. Can I look at one of them? Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, yeah, I'm just saying you're in your defense too. I'm just saying in your defense, if you didn't want to look at them, it would be understandable because there's so many and they're all different. They love it.

It's because of course, that's making noise, right? That makes noise. California's on top of it, which you already mentioned. So, you know, we get in old California. It's like, you know, we can just order anything. You got to order it with your own fucking way, you know? Okay, let's see what G is.

I'm on a screenshot with G and she is, it's too small. Now, why, I feel like every episode, okay, okay, Zara and Melissa, they are friends. Oh really, top real estate broker and creative director. I really thought for sure it was going to be people who worked at like Google or something. I really, I'm like a little sad that they're real estate broker and like creative director. Like that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, fine, I'm gonna go back. I'll come back. I promise and then not tell me. I got sad because I, you know what? I got sad, I got deflated because my theory, I felt so good about my theory that when it didn't come true,

I actually, I was sad. Okay, so I'm looking at the, I'm trying to find, look at the sheet now, because now I've closed the tab. Okay, so what we know is, so Zara and what's her face, Realtor and Creative Director, okay. And they're in the Bay Area.

I have to open up this, let's see. Okay, is that where Carl lives? Bay, yeah. Bay or oh. Okay, so, okay, here are the people. Dan Lee, there's someone named Dan Lee, which is Leris, an executive client director at a branding firm who has lived in Asia for a decade.

Wow, way to go, Dan Lee. Okay, Sarah. Sarah, an account manager for a major pharmaceutical company in Richmond, Virginia. No, I wanna know what they want on their preference. Oh, Do you want to do I just want to know where they worked. Oh No, I care like who's gluten free and he's you know what it's too much. I feel like there's just too many

I can't see through they're all different. They're all uninteresting. They're all basically jerks Okay, even the ones that are trying to make peace eventually are total asses. Well, as a shana is a member of my tribe, and I think she was the one who requested no bacon, and then one of them requested no gluten, and then something like that. I mean, I feel like those are all fair. Like, I'm not going to come for people like that. I'm a pescatarian. I feel like that's one of the most annoying thing.

Also, I killed a fish. So let's line up. I'm just, Pete. Flagelate me for that one. But yeah, I'm a pescatarian and I feel like that's one of the most annoying things because it's not even morally above anything. It's just like, I'm just being picky to be picky.

Like I'll eat some dead things. That's not- I'll eat berries, I would eat dead things. I can't. So I feel like I'm an asshole too. I can't go on BulloDec because I would request no berries and then I would get something with a strawberry on it probably because the producers would know

it would get a rise out of me. And I would probably be like, send it back and it would be like the cliffhanger for the week. And then what would happen is in the week between the two episodes, like look at that fucking asshole who can't even eat a strawberry, they're delicious and then everyone on podcast would be like, who doesn't like strawberries and raspberries? That guy's a fucking Los Angeles liberal bullshit, you know, like elites, you know.

So I might be like, you guys, but I love Los Angeles liberal elites. Oh my god, my Botox is so good. I got Botox this week, look, my face. Okay, so anyway, now let's start with the show. Because we're at 34 minutes in. 34 minutes in, but we gave, I hope everyone's happy. We just summarized two episodes worth. Is this gonna be a two part episode of Below Deck? They cannot be. It cannot actually it won't be because there really was not that much to happen this

first episode. I'm just going to say that right now. We've got, as Mika dropped us before. Okay, so let's get on with it. Okay. First, now we've got a lady licking nipples, right? Zara. Zara. She's a slop. Okay. So she's l's looking I guess Harry's nipples. Is it Harry? Someone's nipples. She's looking at all the nipples It's just like put it on my face and Shoshana's like oh my god This is brilliant, which I feel like Shoshana says all the time. She's got that face Where she's just it just looks natural for her to be going, oh my God, that is fucking brilliant. She has to do it, she's like a Caldecott award,

she's put her seal on on experiences, it's like this is, this is Shana, this is brilliant award. She is like, no she has to, she has to treat everything like she's a Shana. She's just, you know, like, she has to put her little silver seal on books and it's, she has to because She has to treat everything like she's pregnant. She's just Anna. You know, like she has to put her little silver seal on books.

And it's, she has to because that way when she goes home, she'll be like, oh my God, we had the best time, it was officially brilliant. It was Shashana brilliant. It was so good. Just making her friends with my brother says. You know what we should have named you? Shashana.

Okay, Shash. Anna, Shash. I'm a Shush. No, her mom, well, the thing is this, I think the reason why Shushana says, this can be a 10 hour recap, because the reason why Shushana says, oh my God, this is brilliant so many times, because every time she goes home

to report about the brilliant thing, her mom gives her the old, well, your father and I, as in, well, your father and I went to a new restaurant. It was very good. It's like, mama, I'm telling you about the thing that was brilliant. Well, it was very good. I had a lovely tomato capricity.

Well, your father and I went on royal Caribbean. Let me tell you, there were no nipples in our face, but we did have some very nice bass. Well, your father and I saw Oppenheimer. I didn't care for it too much, but it was very interesting. You know what your father and I thought it was so disturbing to come out of Oppenheimer. I mean, what a film. To see all of these people dressed in pink, singing, I'm Kenneth. What does that even mean?

Well, what your father and I actually went to a lecture with Take Donovan talking about action. He's a very fascinating man, actually. Damages, damages. Damages. He is on something called the ock Okay, so I just always gets went up by her mom just say yeah, that's a mom that is brilliant Loser mom, she has like different intonations. Yeah, this is real to say this is real. So, that is just trying to...

Shashana, was that one of your sarcastic, this is brilliant, or was that one of your, like, legitimate, this is brilliant? You're talking to your father and I, don't start with that. No, but the crew, the guys, they all took off their shirts. Well, that sounds like a very good,

it's like a thing to do. Your father and I, we decided to go get Chinese food instead. It was very good So it's like these guests are a lot The very high pitched very And on being killed my voice is a lot and if that's what I sound like to other people I'm so sorry Swadoy Sandlock to other people on the same story. Then, so now the guys are downstairs and then the primary Melissa, she's like,

she's doing this thing where she's just talking at the centerpiece at the table. She like won't look at anyone, so she's just sort of looking generally in front of us. She's like, can it just be about eating and stuff? Does it have to be about guys saying their shirts off? Can it just be about eating? And Sarah's like, oh, hey, wait, Culver, you've got something on your, oh wait a minute, that's your big dick. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, big dick. And no, if we're eating anything,

it's gonna be Culver's dick. If this were a group of men with women, this would be totally different. Yeah, it would. It would be different. But it's not. You know, it's Culver. But still, I think it's gross. I'm with my own man. I think it's gross. I just don't like comparison.

But they're all having a great time and she's not. So she's losing it for everyone. And she's and it's gross. I'm what's wrong man. I think it's gross. I just don't like comparison But they're all having a great time and she's not so she's wounds it for everyone and she's and so it's not Hey, hey, hey speed a guy Hey, so she doesn't want to objectify a man Can you like put on like to your shirts or something and let's like I don't want to objectify anyone Okay, I don't want objective like anyone. What don't you understand? So the guys are like, okay, so they have to put on shirts. And Harry's like, wow, they're really loyal down there. Oh, sorry, I take this whistle.

Sorry for this whistle next time. From whistle. And Melissa's like, guys, this is embarrassing. This is embarrassing! Okay? So then, I love that this group, like they think they're so wild, and meanwhile, they're being told to never tofu soup.

This is not a lie. Just the juxtaposition of that crackling, yeah. Commissions, here comes one right now. So, um, Harry's like, you know what? I'm here to give the best experience and get the best hit possible, and even if that means, she's got to pull my budget down and have a look, then so be it. Oh, I'm like, I don't think anyone's... I think everyone can get a pretty clear picture from the Budgie Smuggler, I think everyone's

been... There's been no... There's been no yanks. No yanks. Um, so, you look at Ben, I'llanks no yanks. No yanks. Um, so you look at ban all southern today. No yanks. So, uh, well, I got to make up for my liberal, um, elite status. Los Angeles that is mighty. D'various.

So the captain checks on serena. She's doing waygu beef and, um, I don't know. I don't know why I'm talking about this. Is this where nothing starts to happen? That's light, nothing happens. So Zara gets out. She gets out of the bank head and then she goes to the wheelhouse and kind of passes out on the bench there.

Sort of like she passes out but sitting up. And then Entries are coming out. And Margot's doing laundry and everyone loves the food. So Aisha bases like, Decreue, Decreue, could you please keep an eye on Zara? And so, Jihuahua has to run up to the wheelhouse. And he's putting on his clothes, because he was stripping to you.

He's like, hello, hello. And you're a ride up here. Hello. And she's like, oh, hi, you're a robot here. Hello. And she's like, oh, hi, do I interrupt something? Yeah, what's going on with you? What's going on with you? He's like, what would you like to watch a documentary about Zimbabwe?

Because I can just tell it to you. Zimbabwe, bacon burns. That's talking about Jowel. And she's like, I just wanted to watch you. What would you like to watch? And she's like, I just wanted to watch you. What would you like to watch? And she's like, Eh, is it? Missy-be, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you He's dragon. I'm like a cat in a corner. I'm not a little scared of her. I'm petrified. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's okay to let him here. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and she's like, hey, you didn't you do not steer the ship with that little guy over there, that little steering wheel, that's a joke, right?

That's not embarrassing. Do you see other yachts with big wheels? And I'm like, oh my God, I'm like modified right now. You want a big wheel, right? You want a big wheel. I can be a big wheel. Look at my hand, don't put your hand in my hand. Don't spin me around, cop that.

Them, them, I'm a will. And it's like, oh, you can leave now. And he's pissed at Joao, because Joao wouldn't even take one for the team and left him with her. Yeah. So then Joao goes down, it's like making out with Zarina and telling her about the Captain. And Zara's like, now she's moved over to the map. The screen thing, which is Captain Sandy's favorite show. I'm wondering if she's waiting for the show.

Wind, to come on, which is Captain Sandy's favorite. So sit near, waiting for the life for you to wind. And producers of Yellowstone comes, wind, by here, she's in, presents, wind. Sorry, Nick Nolte. His place cowboy wind.

Starring an actor of a certain age who was really big in the 90s. Nick Nolte. Who got famous and then immediately left his wife the money. He was famous again. Wind, starring. He's downstairs. He's downstairs. Wow.

So Kevin Casner do that. I heard. That's what I heard from the ladies this weekend, my mom's friends. I was over doing some shopping with round his friends. And what just happened? Her one friend, Cindy. We were at the Hobby Lobby, which was very ashamed to even go into. I'm sorry, everybody who got mad that I wouldn't there, but I had to.

And Cindy told me that Kevin Kassner got famous again and left his wife. So really fucking classy, Kevin. Someone who stood through you through all of your years of non-fame. And now you get a little more famous. You know you're about to start pooping yourself, Kevin. You're not, you're close to that. And you need to be nicer to people who are with you

during this whole time and stop riding this yellow stone thing like it's gonna run forever if that shows terrible. I can't even believe it's still on. I actually really wanna watch it. Don't do it. So the point is, they have this whole sideline with the ranch hands. Nobody cares, okay?

Stop it. So Zara is now looking at the, she's watching wind, Taylor shared it in the wind on the steering time, scared it and down the time, scared it in the knulty. And she's like, so, she's like, so I have to permute a triangle. And the captain goes, in Bermuda. and she's like, so, she's like, so, I have to promote a triangle. And the captain goes, in Bermuda.

I'd love to fucking leave you there. That's impossible with age. Would you like to explore it? If you want to watch me turn this tiny wheel around as I head towards straight towards it. I'm going to size shame the Bermuda triangle also. It's not big enough fee. So basically Jamie comes in.

Jamie's the only one who actually decides how about Captain Jason. She comes in and it's like, I have a few to see if I'm waiting for you on the table. So she goes with her. And now it's like after dinner and they're clearing the table and they're figuring out the breakfast schedule. And what is this? What's the girl in orange? Yeah, I don't know what this is.

Let's go to the next day. So we get to see the square-faced blowfish, like the multi-layered squares on his face. And I miss you a lot. I miss you a lot. I didn't see the square-fish. The arena. Was it a blowfish or a pufferfish? Because they're kind of... I don't think it's a blow.

Well, maybe it's like, square, it's like folds, it's like earlobes. It's like if there were like five earlobes wrapped around a square, but they're all like neon, not maybe not neon, but like shiny. They look like they're made out of shiny material. It's a really weird look.

It's a lot of beautiful fish. Okay. Also, I've realized why I'm getting horizontal wrinkles is because how they're putting the Botox. Okay, I just think we make all this not move. So Serena is tired, Joelle is tired. Everyone's tired. She's grabbing his ass and he's gonna take her

on a date later. So he's like, you excited for your date? And she's like, are you gonna print out a card that has a yes and no cheekpilots on it? Is that what chicken is you for this sake? No, but I was thinking of giving you a postcard from Zim. So she's like, I'm excited with my date with J'ouaou, but my walls are up. And J'ouaou has come into the season as the most perfect man, which I

remember she says that I'm like, uh, you see? And you know that you just want to go run off into the mountains within, get married, because apparently, I guess that's a weird fantasy I have of going to the mountains to get married. Anyway, once a fuckboy always a fuckboy, I don't trust that he won't wake up one day and just leave and go down the mountainside and hear I am and, without a dude's sickness, written for, not to take. There's nothing worse to take. Stuck alone on the mountain, you know. And Serena's like,

please don't put me in a embarrassing situation. And she goes, what? What's coming, kid? Who am I right? And then we see the clip of her telling everyone after they banged. The first thing I told them is that you're circumcised, which is funny. So now it's getting ready for departure. So they're eating breakfast and my review. Serena tells Aisha that she is doing avocado toast, right? Okay. So meanwhile the ladies are coming to breakfast. They're talking about diving and Aisha's like you guys having drinks and I think Shoshana, someone. Shoshana. Shoshana claim to be the one. But I don't remember if it was actually not one.

No, it was Shoshana. Shoshana's like, can we have a drink? Can we have, can we drink before we go scuba diving? And then she's like, should we not do a bloody and so I don't know if we should do this before scuba diving? And Aisha's just like, yeah, baby, what, yeah, you should, one all.

I mean, personally, you should. One hour. I mean, personally, I feel like I don't even have to ask, Aisha, I feel like if I'm plunging myself underwater, I don't, with a tank, I don't think I should have alcohol in my system. I just as like a general instinct I have. I don't feel that way at all. You feel like you should be boosted up. Always.

Unless they, unless they specifically tell you you're gonna like die from teedos or something like that, I would just be like, I'm on vacation. Who doesn't snorkel drunk? You know, or a drunk. Like, of course I'm gonna be fucking drunk. I've got an oxygen tank. What else do you need? Sure, there's no roads. You're like, oh no, I'm gonna run into fish? You could crash into five head. And that would be a head on collision. You guys, I ran into the neon, five year-low fish. I feel terrible.

Did someone send you, did they send it to both of us? Or just to me, or I think they sent it to both of us, the video of the guy trying to like, he was trying to hammer, there's a scuba diver, trying to hammer something or chisel something under the water, and the five-head fish kept on going up to him and pestering him.

Did you see that? No, that's not. Five-head kept on trying to like eat what he was doing, and he kept on eating. It literally took five-head, he put his hand on five-head, five-head, and pushed five-head back, and five-head came back like, no, I wanna eat. I feel like there's something for me to eat here.

Can I eat? Can I eat? Five-heads like, break me off a piece of that cake cap bar. I'm not sure. Five heads is so annoying. Five heads. Oh, I have to find it. It was a great video.

Do you know how many restaurants Five Head has his sketch drawing of his face? People who do not serve Five Head, okay? Five? Five Head comes up to the soda phones and literally puts his mouth under them and drinks directly from the fount. Let me tell you something. Fivehead is the person who goes to the prime rib station at the buffet and just stands there with their plate and just like hovers over and waits for the new prime rib to come out and it's just like you know that chef is like can you just take a step back? It's coming out Okay, so this is basically

Serena is waiting to hear what the ladies want with their avocado toast, but it's just kind of all over the place and busy and they're also having to make all these different kinds of drinks for the ladies first thing in the morning. And she's not communicating. And Serena is calling her, but she's not on her radio. And it's like, oh my God, what's going to happen with this avocado toast? And she's getting more and more upset. And then they decide they want eggs, and they all want a poached egg, because of course they're the slop monsters,

and they have to order the most difficult fucking kind of egg to make. But to be fair, if I'm on a yacht, I'm getting an avocado toast, I want to push check on it, because I feel like, really, I hate poached eggs, or to disgusting, leaky fucking monsters.

Gross. Is it because, is the runniness, or you just don't like all the wetness? The both, the runningness and the wetness, that just gulies and the taste. There's the metallic taste to that. Ronis of the egg, I just think it's disgusting. Listen, I had a quail egg the other day. It was like a pickled quail egg

that was jellied in the middle. I've never had a quail egg. I couldn't even believe they were serving them in Lake Way, Texas, but I had one. Was it like a thousand year egg, whatever they're called? Yeah, I was like brown on the outside. Yeah. Oh, I like those.

I'm just not class. I guess we just have, I guess, I guess you're as messy. I'm trash. I'm a Los Angeles. I'm a Los Angeles elite who eats exotic egg dishes and I'm okay with poached things You're like America. I'm a Texan who eats my eggs hard I want my man hard and on potatoes. I want my eggs the way I want Kevin Costner's ex to face life hard

Kevin Costner's ex to face laugh hard. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and gotten any orders yet. She's like, eeehhh, sorry. So Serena is annoyed, but she's like, you know, at least I don't have to deal with those crazy women. And Alicia, Aisha, Alicia, Aisha. Aisha does have to. So I can forgive her. So then she delivers the most gigantic toast that I've ever been to, Dad. She's, I've never seen servings like this

from a chef on below deck. Everything she makes is like, what's that place? Claim jumper. Claim jumper. No, it's like, it's like. Claim jumper. I haven't, but you know what it's like,

what's that, what's that, what's that crazy, crazy restaurant? I went to a big hash house a go-go. Have you been to there? I would never. I mean, you just took away all of your classy poached at quail egg asshole. Yeah, bullshit. Life is about balance, Ronnie. It's about balance, about having small quail eggs one day and the enormous tombstone size breakfast the other day. Hash house hoe down with the go? Hush house, a go go.

Have you heard of this place? Totally going there. No, what is it? But I love the name of the restaurant. They serve the biggest breakfast you've ever seen. And honestly, I went there once. I got some sort of like pancake thing. It was enormous and it was actually delicious.

Hush house, a go go. I think it started in San Diego. some sort of pancake thing, it was enormous and it was actually delicious. Hash house, a go-go. I think it started in San Diego. It's a roasted farm food and it is gigantic. They have these waffles that are towers. Okay, the waffles are just the side and it's four waffles making like a Lego tower and then towering above them is some sort of

hash brown tower that they built. The chicken and waffles is literally, it's so huge. and that towering above them is some sort of hash brown tower that they built. The chicken and waffles is literally, it's so huge. I mean, I went, of course, I did also go there, like probably 2008 or so or 2007, so it's been a while. Maybe if I went now, it would be like this stuff is actually disgusting, but at that time in my life, in that moment, it worked for me. Just like 10 pounds a day for that lady. And there's no prices on the main, oh wait, are there?

I think you share, you must have to share. Okay, we need to get on with this. I got my own individual, I'm gonna say. That was the avocado toast. So that served the H, whatever, who cares, I don't care. Everyone's getting ready to go. Now they're gonna go diving, right? So they're gonna take Luke, Luca, Luca diving with them.

They can soak you. They get there, the dive instructor is like, so is anybody had alcohol and one of the ladies who's honestly an idiot, first of all, who invited her. She goes, I mean, drinking, yeah, like we're a group of friends on vacation. I think we all did, like, shut up. Thinking it's a joke. Like,

ha ha, he's just like, hey, ladies, have you had a drink today? And she's like, L-O-L, we so did. And he's like, then you can't go in. Because Shoshana is not happy. Shoshana goes, she does that kind of like, perky anger where she goes, um, well, we specifically asked if we, if they would impact it. And we were told no. So I don't know if you remember, but you're in contention for a, oh my God, this is so brilliant. Metal and you're kind of rooting it right now. Yeah, guess what? Guess who's winning that this is not so brilliant.

Bronze, you. Okay. You are. And Zara's like, it's only one drink. It's like shut up, Zara. Okay. You can still shut up. You've not atoned yet. And the guy's like, it doesn't matter one drink. You can't go diving. And one of the ladies, I don't know if it's Shoshana or not. I just like saying Shoshana.

It's probably Shoshana in general. I've always loved it. But I hope it was her. She goes, so why not? Oh, just curious. Just curious, why not? She's about to write a letter. She's already drafted a letter.

And the guy's like, it's Australian law. She's like, oh, okay, excuse me one moment, I am about to lead a march on Can Barra at the moment. And she's like, well, that's unfortunate because I wouldn't have had a drink if I had known that just a statement. That's just a statement. Just bring it out there.

Just bring it out there. Just bring it out there. So they're pissed. And one of the ladies, by the way, the customer service on the diving guy, not great, okay? I mean, I don't know if it's usually good with diving instructors, but like, I have a little bedside matter. He's just like, now.

And one of the other ladies, I have a view like that too, with this group. Can we at least snorkel? And he goes, oh yeah, you can snorkel. Okay, well why didn't you say that, sir? Why didn't you say guys can't drink today or can't snorkel today, but you can't dive today, but you can snorkel, you know what I mean? Have some finesse, dude.

Yeah, I guess with a snorkel, if you get two ways, you can just puke through it and just go make it look like a little, like a whale, a little vomit whale, you know. Oh, is that what it is? I guess it's not. No, I'm just guessing puke through it and just goes make it look like a little, like a whale, a little vomit whale, you know. Oh, is that what it is? I guess it's not what I'm just guessing puke. Because when you dive, you compete all over your, aren't you supposed to pee in your wet suit? Isn't that a thing? I don't know, but I recently have started watching, I'm selling the OC and Jason on their announced, like, hey, you know what, with pools?

I love swimming, I love peeing in pools. Listen, every guy pe peas and pools, right? Like, if you're a guy, there's any up to pee. There's no reason not to be in the pool. I'm like, that's not what I do. Let's all ever. Yeah, that's gross. Sorry.

So, it's a short word in here. Yeah. I was running here like, yeah, absolutely not me at all. What? So, so basically, yeah, they get to do snorkeling instead. And so then one girl goes, we literally ask permission. And then Shoshana, Shoshana has a really sympathetic view to this.

She goes, some jerk had too many drinks and died. And now none of us can have a sip. That's how I feel about Federmine. There used to be this diet pill and it was so good. And someone just kept taking, it wasn't Fenn Fenn. I think that was a... That wasn't good. That was speed, I think.

Yeah, but it was like that, but it was herbal. It was an herbal supplement. And the girl from days of our lives who played Sammy is zenidrine. You've heard of that, right? Zenrein, it was like a herbal thing and I used to take it in the early 2000s and that shit worked. Okay, I was cracked out of my mind. I was never hungry. It was amazing and somebody, like I felt like people just overused it because they were like, I want to be thinner so I'm just

going to take more pills and then you have a heart attack and then they made it, they outlawed it. And I'm still mad about it. I'm still very, very upset about. Even when I see Sammy from days of our lives now, I'm like, you know what? You should have said something, Sammy, and you didn't, you didn't stand for Xenodrein.

Xenodrein, yeah, T.H. Xenodrein's gone bad. They do go Teenage Sanadrian You made me feel like I'm living a teenage Sanadrian Most energetic teenagers of all time. So I go, oh my god. Oh my god. My teenager just can't stop vacuuming So they do do the snorkeling thing. And it is. By the way, the thing that is funny that happened is that the only people who did not drink were G and Sara,

the two who were having a big fight. And then they actually got to go skidding. Can I just point out also, at least Sara is showing some remorse today, because Sara has shut her fucking trap today. OK? Sara is not being cheap. She said one thing. She said she did say one thing that was evil.

She goes, I would have drank this morning if I had known it would gotten me out of this. Well, I just noticed that she was a lot less volatile this morning. So I also know as the great barrier reef kind of died on all the areas she swam over. It just turned brown again. Talk down. It's that toxic. Sarah is the reason crews from the show have to go plant on the great barrier at least. So they ask Luca to dive, do the dive, and they all love Luca, because he's like a little pocket size.

He's like adorable. He's like a big hot guy, but he's like that little toy versions of big things. Sort of they called. They're like little, they've got big head machines. Oh, those Funko, the Funko, they're really, I have one here. Yeah, I've got one of Jess from Game of Thrones. Oh, yes. And Jess's name is Sarah.

How about that full circle? Someone gave me Varys, which I'm still offended by. JK, I love my Jess. Funko. Margo is checking on laundry. She's like, I'm going to check on large laundry, Aisha and Aisha's like, that would be splendid. And Margot has a monologue about how she's had a lot of ups

and downs, but she doesn't want to be remembered as that girl, the girl who just wanted to do service, but then got busted drinking and hippie clothes at the end of the season. I need to redeem myself. I don't want to look like that girl. He tried to do a job, but got wasted dressed like she was going to a Jimmy Buffet concert area.

Getting caught being drunk dressed like that was hallelujah. She was in yellow tinted sunglasses, a crazy wig from the 70s and a headband. And it's not a worn shirt. Yeah. So then Culver brings her dirty towels and she goes, I love dirty towels. And it's that wine shirt. Yeah. So then Culver brings her dirty towels and she goes, I love dirty towels. I'd like to prove how much she's trying to change. I know.

And then elsewhere, the girls are snorkeling. And one girl, it's probably Sarah, is learning the hard way, the difference between snorkeling and scuba diving. Because she's like, wait, you don't go all the way difference between snorkeling and scuba diving. Because she's like, wait, you don't go all the way under with snorkeling. I'm like, well, part of that breathing tube says you put that under water. Yeah, literal idiot. So she gets water in her mouth and she says, oh my God, that water tastes disgusting. Imagine how the fish feel with you, seeping out your Jose

quervo all over the great bear your roof. Your avocado toast essence. Those two sure are trying to fuck down there. Get out of their space. So Lucas, you know, I mean, I think Lucas is fine. He's not done anything to make. He seems like a little sweetheart. Well, guess what? I don't trust men on below deck in general, so it takes me a minute to warm up. But he is swimming with the turtle in this episode. My favorite character on the show, the sea turtle.

And it makes me fall in love. He was literally swimming with that. Luca is so cute. He has this nice little smile. You know what it is? Because he doesn't speak very much. So usually when people say, oh, the strong silent type, people are attracted to the strong silent type,

because they don't give you anything to, they don't give you anything. So therefore, there's nothing to hate about them. So he just smiles and just smiles. And so he's got crazy eyes. He's got no intense, like, big, his eyes are like, slightly crazy. And if you're concerned that, like,

oh, it's such a bummer that Luca came on so late in the season, except I feel like he only just got here in the season's about to end. Don't be too upset. You know why? Why? Because he's the cast member below deck mid. How do you know? Because I saw the trailer. Oh my god, I just want to mentor people. Guys, you know, I've made it so long. I've won about seven Oscars and Built mountains. There's a mall named after me and I was the lead captain on Saddam Hussein's famous cruise through Iraq. So I've done a lot and I just want to mentor people now guys That's me Captain Manor just want to help people hold on. I got a cat. I love to say here, but there's no episode of Windon.

I got to see a god, Tom's carrot. So good. I can hear the thingsong now. Gosh. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, wind. God, that's good. Can't wait to see Tom's carrot. Pull this off.

I love that they reunited him with Don Chiddle. God, they were great on picket fences together. Haha. God, really, is all this missing. Oh, this is missing. It's a little Harvish Finkelstein. Harvish Finkel. Fiveish Finkel.

Fiveish. Fiveish. He was named after the time that his mom approximately met his dad. And he was around fiveish. God, it is fucking brilliant. Shashana after every five-ish episode of Picket Fences. She had a five-ish vinkal poster on her wall as a kid. You know that. She had a five-full finish.

Your father and I, by the way, we just went to the five-ish vinkal museum. It was very interesting. You should have come along. By the way, five-ish also made it all the way to the good wife, another brilliant show. I know, my Taylor Sherripe, Fibish. RIP. We'd love to. Still do. Still in my heart. Still in my heart. Fibish.

Okay, and I'd like to believe that you would stand for Five Head Fish. Okay, so Serena and Asha are talking about Duao. Serena doesn't know she can trust him. Asha's like, yeah, because he's a douchebag and she's like, am I going to look like an idiot? And Asha's like, you are. So then Jamie and Culver and the mess talking and they have zero chemistry. Zero. You want to try my magic drink? Chef Kim invented it for his Dutch babies and protein in a shake.

And Jamie tries to smile, but she does that squinting smile, that squinting I hate you smile and tries it. And she is laughing. She is like looking at him, hoping that today will be the day that she can use her eyes to shrink him down to thimble size so she can step on him. Yeah.

And I kind of like that, but why are you as girlfriend then, so dumb. So then Luca radios that the ladies couldn't dive and the captain hears this and he's like, oh, this is a miss, this is an Aisha miss. She should have told them no drinking drink, you've got a drink, you get refused. And so they're coming back to the boat

and it's very sad. And then we get a shot of my favorite five head five head is like these ladies leave and five head is literally measure while he's like no, I think I'll talk to you and so uh, Miss Shoshana of course they come back onto the boat and Shoshana is like goes up to Asha and goes Remember how I asked you if we could all have a drink and still dive. She's like I'm gonna get this bitch This bitch fucking rude, but H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H Somebody fucking asked me. So someone's, I asked somebody. Someone's someone did. No, no, no, it wasn't me. Not me, no.

It wasn't me. And then she tells them pretty assert, Did I really say that? Ha, ha, ha, ha. She's trying to call me red hair, did. Lying in the kitchen floor. She asked me if she could get a drink before diving. And I said sure

Did I know that they tend to tell to the doving instructor? No, did I know that they had changed Australian law so you couldn't drink before diving no? Did they more or less look up probably? Did they swim with five head probably not It wasn't they drink cold down there probably Did they more or less the more or less probably So She's just denied it so she asked the producers did I say that and the producer's like yeah, and she goes

I did I shouldn't have told them to drink anything and we need to make this up to and have told them to drink anything. And we need to make this up to them. So now they do a big beach picnic. The guys are doing this setup. I'm not fucking K. You know what, I'm sick of that K. I don't wanna see that K anymore

because it's, you know, like it goes away. This shit just appears. Go, stay on an island that doesn't disappear. I trust my tent. Okay, stay on an island that doesn't disappear. I trust my ex-temp. Okay, I hate that fucking little island. Yeah, it's like when I complained about when people were mean to me my one week at Hearst Publications and HR told me, you know what, Rondall?

No one likes a temp. Okay, it's just part of life. You're just gonna have to get east to it. It'll be next, it'll be different next week. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, next week the ocean. Yeah. Yeah. Next week, the ocean will swallow you up and disappear and any tender will get beached on you. So now the girls, the girls, yeah, they have fun. They're up there. And they've also, by the way,

trapped Jason before they went off the beach, they trapped him into like going to dinner tonight. So he's like really not excited about that. But they're all playing, they're playing on the beach, they're playing pong. It actually looks so fun. They're playing like just lots of games. They want Zahar keeps trying to make Luca take a shirt off. And but meanwhile. I also know, if like I've had enough of Zahar already.

And this seems to be basically about Luca and what your buns, Jamie getting closer. And you know how to get close to somebody on Bravo You say should I take a selfie of us and they're like oh my god, we should be on Brawl House Why does the New York together? Um, so she starts falling for Luka and she you know She sees him having fun with everybody else and I don't remember if it's now because I'm skipping over a lot of parts But she actually goes you know there's just something about Luca

that draws you in. Yeah, he's fucking hot, Jamie. I love when people like pick the hottest person in the room and then they're like, wow, there's just something about them. Yeah, you picked the top cut of meat in the room, just like Culver did with you. So I'm not saying it's like one sided,

but everybody acting like there's some deep relationship here. He's hot, everyone thinks he's hot. You know what I mean? And he's not cheesy, he's just hot, and then she sees the way everyone is like fawning over him and she's like, He's hot. And she's like, wait, that could be mine.

I hitched my ride onto Culver. Why did I do that? This will be mine. And so now she's like, and honestly, like, honestly, she's been with Colverflake 10 days. I think she's well within her right to ditch Colver and go for Luca. I mean, it's not nice.

You're well within your right within a minute. I mean, there is such a thing called a lemon law. You know what I mean? She never said a sign of that part. Oh, I love a lemon Dutch baby. I said, The lemon law, don't forget him in your meringue. Am I right?

Sheriff Kim? So meanwhile on the boat, Aisha is telling Culver to bring out Keith Storm tonight, because Keith Storm is one of his, um, Keith Storm. Culver's car. Stone, I'm sorry. So, one of his characters, you know, I don't even know. I don't care. Maybe this is because he's stormed.

Honestly, because anytime a moment comes out on Bravo, it's bad news for us as viewers. So he's going to be doing like a magic mic thing and he's like, I want to do Corio. Look out. The magic seamen are coming that yeah. Ha. Yeah, you know, we got to bring that thunder from down under or as we call it at my house, the him for Kim To go well I think it's a beat stone by the way. I think it does keep stone. I have stolen some of us Sure because at first I wrote keystone because I guess this is like a famous thing we're all supposed to remember But I don't yeah, and So I remember when the mullet comes on, because I remember that's officially when I hated

Culver the most last season when I was like, oh, another mullet on Bravo. Just what we needed. Yeah, mullet props. No good. Not enough douchebags running around in mullets from Amazon, thinking they're hilarious. Sorry. Back on the beach, Jamie, this is where Jamie is like falling for him. And then we go to Sarri N Serena and Culver, and talking about their dates.

And then it's sunset. Everybody goes back, Margot's steaming stuff. And now tonight is the 80s neon party. Yeah, so a lot of this part going forward is just kind of like build up to this whole thing. So we watch the guys like working on the choreo. There's like a bad get that they're gonna play around with. And a lot of mention of the words, magic seamen over and over again.

So like they're just like getting ready for it. Yeah. So then we go to Aisha coming to the galley and talking to Serena. She's like, sure for you okay for the first course to be vague timing. And she's like, yeah, but is the captain eating with them tonight? She's like, why am I getting no response?

And she's like, oh, we didn't tell you. And she's like, all right, I have a rule of three. And that was number three in communication today. And there's going to be a problem. I don't know. Oh, what was the first time today? And she's like, breakfast. And she's like, oh, And she's, oh, sorry.

I didn't realize I was that bad today. And she says, I think as a friend, that sucked. So I thought she was gonna say, oh, that was something that Zorina would say. But she's like, I mean, the chef is the most dressed for position on the board. And I do take on board. And I own that the communication day

has been not good. And I'm willing to happen, let it happen again. So it's like, of course, Aisha is so nice that she's like, that was shit that I did that. I was like, wow, so weird to hear it on top of the deck. I'm saying like it. Because you can see like so much, there's still tension. You know, it doesn't have to be everybody hating on each other.

It's like there's still tension. You're like, oh shit, but the Aisha is like, it is my fault, answering this like, well tomorrow, but the nation's like, it is my fault. Answering this like, well tomorrow, it's just, you know, it's better. I mean, it's just too better tomorrow. I'm not fit. So then there's just like more, so now Luca and Jamie are talking in the crew mess.

And they're just like talking about things that they're gonna do in New Zealand after this charter season and like, oh, we should go here. We should go there. So snowboarding first. She's like, yeah, I've always wanted to snowboard. And I was like, oh my God, you guys are going to get married. It's just like fuck already. So they have like burgeoning chemistry going on. And then Jason then sits at this table, this crammed table, could they pull up a chair for him for crying out loud. So he sits there and the girls are like trying to like, touch it to like, so Captain Jason,

do you have any dietary restrictions too? And he's like, no, I only blue cheese, it's too stinky. Oh, you know who else? Won't he blue cheese? G, lactose intolerant, quote unquote, amacros, fucking bitch, like, okay, Sarah, calm down, Sarah. Uh, he hates some, by the way, and he is not hiding that he hates some. He hates them.

They're fucking guts, and it's so funny. So then Culver comes up as Keith Stone, and he's like, ladies, the magic seamen will be around for dessert, so don't eat too much. I'm like, oh my god. So they're asking the captain how he got it and he got how he got it into yawning. You're welcome, everybody. That's how to speak English.

How he got into yawning. And he talks about how he was a second engineer. He hates them all. He upsails, I, and then I go, my God, can we look your nipples? And he's like, I will drown you in the fucking ocean. You slow monsters. And then the guys come out and do a little, um, ch-ch-ch-a-a-a.

Yeah, we get the whole, we get the strip tea, we get like a whole show, a song in a dance thing. It's very fun and funny for them. And so afterwards, Luca and Jamie start following each other on IG. And I was like, oh my god, I shipped them, pun intended. And then there's just like more cleaning and Jamie's cleaning and Jamie was like, oh my god, I shipped them, pun intended. And then there's just more cleaning and Jamie's cleaning and Jamie's like, oh, I'm definitely a flirt.

I'm gonna have to try really hard not to flirt with Luca because technically I'm Culver's girlfriend, but if I just put up a picture of a Dutch baby, I'm pretty sure he won't realize it. I've gone off and kissed Luca. So I'm just like, I hope probably I'll just be like flirting like this and I just, I feel a little guilty. You don't feel guilty, you dump him.

But if you're gonna, I think, what is she waiting for? Like a green light from Luca? She's got the green light. Like what are you waiting for? Is she waiting for the, to hear about the thing in Greece or in the med so she doesn't make that awkward? I'm not really sure.

I'm not really sure to take it away from Culver. He's no good. So I mean, Mollett, I mean, I can't. So then, Margo, the next morning, to prove that she is worthy, has made four different kinds of juices, which, wow, you know, you use all the, it sounds like a lot of passion fruit. I don't think I've ever heard anybody ask for passion fruit juice. I've heard a lot of juice, a lot of juice for these people. Yeah. Passion fruit juice. No, that's unsuscussing to me. So excuse me. It's now the guests are leaving and the girls are saying

how they, you know, they appreciate how hard the crew worked and then Melissa P is like, um, maybe the one thing, aside from all the adressification of the men, was the drinking before going diving and not knowing that we couldn't do that. That kind of stuff. But we appreciate you guys and everything you guys did so much. So Zero's like, can I lick anyone's nipples before I go? That would be great. Because also in that dance, she was like licking, I think Harry's nipples are Culver's nipples.

Again, the woman's insatiable and polarious. So they leave finally and now we're at tip meeting and the captain's like, okay, listen, there was some bad communication today. I get it guys, but the helmet goes to the dick face who let that drunk nipple addict into the bridge alone with me. So thank you. Thank you, Drow.

You can now wear this disco helmet. Jason also says, well, I suppose it's detention to detail really. We've got to keep up on that. We're very close. We've got one more charter. We just need to keep our foot in the gas. Like Jason, I don't think you're the one who's supposed to say that phrase. Can we just show that footage again of you driving the boat onto the dock? So, so then,

um, so then Margot's like, Hey, Aisha, can I just like talk to you for a second? Sorry, Jamie, it's about you. Ha, ha, ha. Okay. Listen, I just would love to prove myself just one last time and challenge myself one last time I was thinking that for next charter I would make five juices for breakfast or maybe I could finish on service If you'd let me it'd be okay for you and as you can see in someone so test for to clean the toilet like this is I've never seen it in my life. I mean you gotta you gotta respect the hustle But at the same time you don't prove that you're not an alcoholic by cleaning a toilet Like, this is, I've never seen it in my life. I mean, you gotta respect the hustle, but at the same time, you don't prove

that you're not an alcoholic by cleaning a toilet. You know what I mean? Well, I guess you do sometimes. You try to hide that you're an alcoholic by cleaning a toilet, I've done that. But you don't hide the fact that you're an alcoholic by that, you hide it, or you prove it with chips that you earn places.

But I don't know. You two work at that amongst yourselves. I don't work on that boat. So Aisha gives her a face like, no, you poor thing. You already knew it. You ruined your one shot. She gives that look and it goes to commercial.

But when it comes back, Aisha goes, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, if you can take this opportunity Oh Oh Oh, if you can take this opportunity to give you I was one last good trading session before we sent you off to another boot I would love to do that. I would love to be born. Oh my god. I'm gonna kill you have to stop You have to stop now. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, please, please. All the windows in my room have cracked. We need to, we need Aisha lines to stay

at around 10 seconds or under. We need to make each other some kind of like let's stay together forever. Come in the office. I am. No one does it in a less annoying way. You know what I mean? There is no less annoying way to do it.

I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to accurately portray what I saw on television as per my job as a podcast re-capper. Well, a whale just crashed into the side of my house. Well, that's the whale's fault. The whale should have, the whale. The whale, but he married before the song. Yeah, it violated us right in the story. Sorry.

So she says, yes, well, Jamie can hear all this, right? Because Jamie is being nosy ass. And she has stayed pretending that she's dusting a doorframe, which is hilarious. So she's heard all this and she's pissed. She's like, oh, I hear the girls talk about it. And I immediately upset. Her problems is boat, to be serviced to you,

and it's kicked to the gut, it's a kick to the gut. She sounds drunk all the time, right? That's one thing I've noticed about her. So not accusing, just saying you sound like. And Margot's like, well, I hope Jamie's not mad. She's just so good at everything. What do you think? Is this fair or is this not fair? I was trying to debate because I's like, well, I hope Jamie's not mad. She's just so good at everything. What do you think? Is this fair or is this not fair?

I was trying to debate because I was like, it feels like such a nice opportunity for Margot and they did talk about that. It is the last charter though, so it kind of feels, I'm like, I'm not sure. Margot did really, she really fucked up on her one shot. She kind of doesn't deserve another shot because of that.

Like, you know, I understand what, well, there was, it was a complicated situation for her. But and I'm like, Jay, like, prime is like, oh, but like Jamie, be a man. To let Margo have her shot. But I also think at the same time, could you imagine like you're brought on to do a job at a certain level and then you're put down at like the,

like a base level, like you're put down to be like a dishwasher and a kitchen so that way someone could try to like work the line. But then I can also imagine a chef being like, yeah, I love giving opportunity. So I actually really couldn't figure out where I landed on this one. Yeah, that's so refined.

I think if it was something like we're daisy, how daisy runs it, because daisy is like, well, I'm telling you this much, I'm not telling you who I'm fucking, probably both. And that's my right. God damn it. And neither one of you have any power. So I'm both going to have to do the shit jobs.

And I think if you set it up like that, then it's fair. I think that Aisha, what Aisha really should have done, Sunless said, let me think about this. And then she should have gone to Jamie and said, listen, you are an excellent second stew, and you can do this job. I would like to give Margot a chance to learn. Like the whole spiel, she says later in the episode. She just should've done it earlier to Jamie

and let Jamie feel like she was in on this decision, because I think that's what Jamie needs. That's a good point. And then gone back to Margot, but making this, like, yeah, I just think it was just not, I think it was a PR situation and Aisha just didn't hear it because Margo does have this sense about her,

and I really like her, but she does have this sense like, oh, look at me, I'm just a little lamb. I don't understand. Because the first she was like, I'd really like to train maybe a couple of times on service, okay, but you're not like entitled to be moved into service.

You know what I mean? Right. Just because of the enough. And she's just kind of assuming like, okay, now I've done service, so I should get to do service again, where it's like, I don't know if that is fair. I don't really know, but then at the same time, how do you ever move up if no one ever looks at you? Exactly.

Exactly. So, I don't know. I think it's nice to say letter, but I agree that they should have maybe talked to Jamie, but I also think Jamie is slick and she didn't really care about Serena's feelings. Now that was not about professional life. That was just general. But it's like caring about someone's feelings thing,

but that wasn't profession, so maybe it's not fair to use that, but I don't know, I've just got this sense from Jamie that she's kind of an asshole. I kind of get that feeling too. Like I also feel like Jamie, it's only like, I don't know, like it's just two times that it happened, but yeah, she's a little,

there's something a little entitled with Jamie too. So everyone dresses up for dinner and Culver looks at himself in the mirror and goes, this is some Gucci business right here. So how goes, yes, except it's not Gucci. And it's like just saying. He's like, yeah, and I'm just saying it's not Gucci. You can't call Van Hues and Gucci. So Margot, they're all dressing up and everything and they're toasting to like one charter season left and everything and Margo is not gonna get Wasted tonight because they have charter tomorrow and Asia's like oh and I'm top of that you're a knight

Oh by the way Jamie sorry Did I tell you that? And Jamie gives her tight squinty smile which means she's pissed and she's like mmm Mm-hmm and she goes yeah and actually I'm kind of upset that you guys don't tell me straight away and he's just like but I was gonna have a meeting tomorrow and she's like yeah I figured I was just a little upset because I was excited to do service for the last charter but I know that I'm not a four juice

squeezer and so then Harry goes well I think that Morg is in the CVS role after what she's done all-slazing. And Culver's like, oh God, Heracles, Harry's sticking his nose and everything. Says the man who sticks his teeth and everything. I know literally get your teeth out of my business. And Harry's like, yeah, isn't it nice? Let everyone have a hint at everything. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Harry, you don't work on interior and that's not how it works.

Just shut your mouth before you upset people! And, uh, Jim, you're like, Harry, you're green. You've never fucking idea. You don't know how long I've worked on Beats for. You don't know how long Margot's worked on Beats for. You don't know how long I took me to film the constant Gardener, that's right I'm Rachel Vos. You have no idea how the interior runs, shut the fuck up.

And she runs off all pissed off. And Harry's like, have I said, uh, and Asia just goes, short all period. I was like, short up, Harry. So then Asia has to, by the way, Asisha started this, like she knew when she was going, Oh, we were on Lays, whoops. Did I not mention that? What I love about, just tricky that one. But what I love about the Harry thing is that,

when they're like, shut up Harry, they say in a way as if Harry has been doing this, like, fucking up and messing things up all season long and he actually hasn't been, he just has that energy so like the moment he finally does it, they're like, oh, shut up, Harry, class of Harry. Yeah, you know, you haven't watched the next episode yet but they really put him in this role in the next episode. Like, Harry's just a little gossip queen.

They call him a gossip, a gossip officer. Yeah, since when, I don't remember Harry being like that. No, but like he's so he so seems like it that the moment they finally can do it, they're like, well, we only have one charter left. Let's just pile it on. And he wasn't really even doing gossip. He was just like basically obviously still like, he's trying to stand up for her as like, I love you, you know? Yeah, that's a friend probably, but still, you know, still he's got this little crushy on Margot,

so he's gonna try and stand up for, little crushy too. So being, I believe, the kids call it. Oh yeah, that's right. Standing up for somebody in a way that is flirtatious. Guys, I learned that from the online dictionary. So I'd like to thank you. I thought there was a way.

I thought I meant being sympathetic for someone. Oh, I guess I should probably. No, Samping means like when guys in comments are like, yeah, you leave her alone, bra. Oh, people are like, oh, stop Samping because they're trying to like basically hit on a girl by standing up for them in comments. At least that's what I learned from the internet.

I don't know if that's a direct reminder. Well, if anyone wants to simp for me, I always welcome Simping on my behalf. So anyway. Oh, Simping. I know. Anyway, this is the end of the episode. Thanks everyone for listening.

Thanks for watching. It's super fun. We'll be back next with a Salt Lake City episode. And then after that, it will be back next with a Salt Lake City episode and then after that it will do the next blow deck episode so stick around and there's a huge amount of shows later this week so catch you on the next one. Bye! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Know your worth with Jason Kurt. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone.

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