Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Down Under: TzarOao (Sorrow)

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Joao shocks absolutely no one on this week's Below Deck Down Under when he freaks out after being called out for possibly putting on a nice guy act and then dumps the only person holding out hope. Also, Jaimee goes from pissed to terrified when she lets her iron get the best of her. This week's bonus episode is a catch up on Ben's covid and Ronnie's Palm Springs journeys, respectively. Get all our video recaps and bonuses at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Huge stuff happened guys huge stuff. I just want to call people swab monsters more I just I just I just want to I just want to make little onion towers and create drama with them That's what I want to do Teppin Yaki would a bit to my right If you have a child and that child looks like it's gonna be a bitch, name it Tep and Yaki. You know what, fuck these people for ordering Tep and Yaki on a yacht. But y'all get into it. I'm ready.

Fuck people for ordering Tep and Yaki. What do we, a bunch of seals? Like what do you need the food thrown into your mouth? Oh, fuck. I'll tell you who won't be ordering tepon yakki on a yacht towards spelling. That's for sure. You know, when she fell over at the, at Benihama,

that was a little hot. Yeah, she fell over into the Habachi girl. And I remember I used to make jokes about that all the time. And someone was like, oh my God, I cannot believe you would do this to enjoy spelling. Do you know what pain I'm at the bit? I was like, yeah, it's a joke. Like who falls into a fucking cabochie?

Know what I mean? I'll never forget that. That was something that someone got mad at me about that I was like, you know what? Fuck you. Cause you say I'm like, I can see where you're right in that. But that one I was like, no, fuck her. Then her Benihana supporting ass.

He's alive. It's not like she died in it, okay? then her Benning Hana supporting ass. She's alive. It's not like she died in it. Okay. If they ate Tori spelling after she fell on the Habachi girl, then it would be insensitive, but she is fine. She found a trailer to live in. She's doing just fine. Get off my ass. She is doing just fine. I just want to say,

with being like, wow, like that sucks for her. And then I'm like, fuck her. She's rich and she's got doctors, okay? Put some gasoline on her. She's not. It's just a thing, you're not allowed to make fun of poor people. But I figure a lesson, we make fun of Gina all the time and we make fun of all the people on this show. So, whatever people got off my ass.

No one's off my ass. Well, I don't know why I'm being like this. Why are we liking this today? We're just, I'm in a really good mood. And when I'm in a really good mood, like my hobby is going off on things. You know what I'm saying? Can I say something?

So today, we are talking below deck down under, which, you know, all season long, we've been talking about the underwater stock footage that they have which has been really excellent like it's on the it's getting to place where it's like rivaling our planet to be honest. And this episode was so good. I mean I thought it would be hard to top the the two sharks sitting together on the floor last last week the fact that I found two sharks on the floor, on the sea floor, just hanging out, holding hands,

holding fins, I was like, nothing can really top that. And then tonight, there were four or five amazing fish moments on this show. Like so good. I just, I'm like, I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled. And so I have my underwater camera on behind me today. And I'm thinking, but it's a little bland.

There's no fish today. So I'm going to like maybe try to find a different backdrop because I really want to honor the great work they did on Blow Deck with their fish camera work. Well, I love that. And they have been doing a good job. We need to have like a whole crappies section this year of best fish shot from Bulla Tech. Got an undersmith? Exactly.

They can have their own awards section because there's a lot. They've put a lot of work into it. Yeah. So it is Bulla Tech down under day, guys. It's two shows a week still. The earlier one was this week, go find it. Okay. If you haven't listened to it, DER, look for it., it's two shows a week still. The earlier one was this week, go find it. Okay, if you haven't listened to it, DER, look for it.

Because it's fun. Also, we're doing a ton of stuff this week because Bravo is on full tantrum mode. Okay, they've got, they're throwing a tantrum. Sorry, we've got so much content. You're going to watch all of it, dammit. Orange County Atlanta. What was that?

That was breaking news. That was me trying to find different footage. I didn't realize there would be music. That green screen really. I've never seen someone enjoy a gift to themselves themselves more. Well, but fucking green. Roddy was like, Ben, you should get a green screen. You should get a green screen. I was like, I don't really want to get a green screen.

You said you should get one. So I find you should get a green screen. You should get a green screen. I was like, I don't really want to get a green screen. You said, you should get one. So I'm like, fine, I'll get a green screen. And now that I have it, I have been a child, and I play with it incessantly. And you don't even use your green screen anymore, and I'm constantly doing stuff with my green screen. You know what, I found it exhausting. After a while.

You know why? I'm literally exhausted. You know why? Because yours doesn't live permanently behind you, right? You have to actually pull it out. That's right. Well, yeah, I mean, it's behind me right now. I just have to pull it up. But yeah, it's there.

Oh, okay. Wow. I just, I'm just too lazy. And then I come into the office every day and I trip over it because it's this big fucking thing on the floor. And I never see it. And I have big joint Flintstone feet. Anyway, the point is a lot of stuff to listen to you, so go listen to that. Also, this is on video as are all of our recaps now. You can find those at patreon.com. There are under our crap and it's on demand section. A section lower than that is our bonus episode section.

We're going to record that later today. Those are always super fun. Those are weekly. So if you want to watch us instead of just listen to us, just do it. Go to patreon.com. So let's watch our grads. Also Monday nights, every other Monday night, including this coming Monday night, the 20th of September at 5.30 Pacific time, 8.30 Eastern time. We're doing Instagram live shows. And those are super fun. Working on the audio to get those pro sounding, but it looks like this

week we're going to be taking questions throughout the show and then the last 15 minutes or so is just gonna be a speed round of you guys coming on video and chatting with us. So join us, those are really fun happy hours for us to meet you guys, you guys to meet us, you guys to call us names, whatever you wanna do. Okay, that's enough of that.

Oh, also Southern Charm comes back this week. So we will also be back for that and Real Housewives of Orange County later this week. Okay, let's get into it. We start with the St. Ray, which is very, very scary. Now you know someone who owes us all an apology, a St. Ray, because they took Steve Irwin from us. And they took it to the TV.

So anybody who's mad about me making Tory spelling, falling on her bachi jokes, why don't you write Velo Deckdown under for using a stingray, because they're worse. Stingrays are basically the Tory spelling of the ocean. And by the way, there was one just behind me right now, because I put on a live cam from the Monterey aquarium and it has all the fish in the world and there's so much happening behind me.

It is literally the best, but I'm gonna try to focus on actually doing it. I saw a shark behind you with like three sharks. There was a shark. There was like a giant red fish. I am like, wow, Monterey aquariums got it going on. I know there's other fish in there just like they just have to live a life where they know that they're going to get eaten any moment and they're just chill like you're hanging out with the hammer.

Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. No one's even running away from the shark. That shark probably has an inferiority complex. That shark is like, wow, I just don't really, that's probably like a shark that has dealing with toxic, shark, scalinity. Shark, scalinity?

Because it's like, wow, I should be in the face of my life where people like care, like are impressed by me and you know, I should have a house and like eating all these fish and no one's even scared of me. And I know, whatever you take a picture, whenever you ask somebody to take a picture of him, like a the theme park or whatever, it's like, would you take it really close up?

I want to look big. So I take it. He's holding up like a doll of a little fish. Can you take it in front of this? I look gigantic. None of the fish are afraid of that shark, and yet it's getting paid more than everyone else. It's like, wait, why is that?

It's like sorry, patriarchy. Shark, patriarchy. Sorry, I'm a tiny shark. Specialty. Yeah, we'll have you shark, specialty. Yeah, we'll have a, have a smaller tail. Special skills. Look at that giant tail. Come down.

Yeah. Okay, so there's an actual show. So, yeah, stingray. And then we have Aisha checking in on Jamie because in case everyone forgot, Jamie is crying in the bathroom because she was upset that Harry button about Margot being on service for the final charter of the season.

Right, she's upset because Asha didn't consult with her first about putting Margot on for the last, whether she was already upset and then Harry had to get into it. So yeah, she's all upset crying in the bathroom. And so Asha's just doing that thing like your mom does when you're crying as a kid. Just like, are you okay?

But it's that way like you know you could get your ass kicked. But Asha does it in that way that it's almost gilting you for crying in the first place. She's gonna be a great parent. Well, you okay. You okay? Do you okay? Are you okay? Do you want to come out? Do you want to play with the other channel, Dre?

It's like she's asking, are you okay while she's bungee jumping from like a cliff all the way down to the bottom of the earth? Do you know Aisha? Aisha's going to be on the new season of Winterhouse, by the way. Can I tell you, I saw the picture of the new Winterhouse. Thank God they changed Winterhouse up and they're using different people other than those tired ass summerhouse slags. Yeah, those guys are disgusting from that show.

And I mean male slags, like the women are all good on that show, but the men, disgusting. They still have Kyle and Amanda on there. I guess it'd be the parents or whatever. But I think you're doing it with some family karma and below deck people. And also, what's your face? Well, there is Katie Flood from Med,

Malia is on there. So Asia, I think Asia and Riley are there, but they're not like full-fledged cast members. I think they come in for a few episodes. Captain Sandy makes an appearance. Tom Schwartz is, yeah, Tom Schwartz is on it. Captain Sandy, fuck him. What if Captain Sandy comes on, it fucks Tom Schwartz on Summer House. I think she's just in for like an episode like they go skiing with her or something. Well, he's entering his latent life lesbian mode. Have you seen him with his Draco Malfoy haircut?

Yeah, and everyone weird, Getsuke sweaters or whatever he's doing now. I mean, I could see Captain Sandy going there and cheating on her wife. This is the downside of the Barbie movie. Craze is Tom Schwartz with Leech Blonde hair. So yeah. So Jordan from Southern Charm, not Southern Charm, Summer House, Martha's Vineyard is on it and also Alex from Below Deck sailing. It's a whole hodgepodge of people. Corey from Summer House is on there. Gross. Yeah. Glad they're still giving, you know, out of the closet, transphobes jobs.

That's super fun. Good job, Bravo. Yeah. But otherwise, nice changing it up. I look forward to that. I look forward to a season of hating on Malia on a different show. I mean, it's like a gift to me. I can't wait until she knocks on our first person. Well, guess who the liason is? Someone has a weed bin. Well, Malia isn't a quarry, so get excited for that. Of course she is, because trash attracts, trash. That's why when you see trash in the ocean, it's all co-agulated together in a big ball. Fucking trash and trash. Trash island. I'm already curious about it. I love it. Got me riled up for that. I love it. I love it. Of course they ended up together. I thought Cory was still with what's your buns? What's your bands? Well, that's gonna be an issue on the show.

She's like a liar. I saw her in some interview the other day. What's your name? It's what Sam? Sam will be on the show too Everybody doesn't know what we're talking about Sam and Corey are a couple from summer house both. I mean she was fine But she was on an interview the other day and she's like, you know people just don't understand like how it is Being a reality star like being a couple in a reality world But then do you understand each other because you're both in that world Sam shut up You started dating before you were anything you hadn't even been on the like the show hadn't even aired yet world, but then do you understand each other because you're both in that world's gap. Sam, shut up. You started dating before you were anything.

You hadn't even been on the show, hadn't even aired yet. She's talking like she's accepting her lifetime fucking achievement award. I know. Stupid Sam. Yeah, so that was the update about Asia. She will be on Winterhouse in some capacity. So anyway, she's not sleeping outside in the van. Hashtag van live for a boyfriend's just outside sitting in a bucket.

Can I learn to me? She's on the she's on the new spin off winter van. The poor people from Bravo, I'll put together in one van. Let's see what happens. Oh God. So, um, so Zarina is, she's like, so it's how it basically saying you should be on service. And Margot's like,

well, no, you said that I've been working really hard and I deserve to do service again. And I was like, what's wrong with it? Margot's like, I don't know. Yes, that kind of say, I don't even know. The problem is you are shoving someone else who worked really hard to get that position off of their position by being like,

Oh, I'm just mortal. I should get to do it. Now, on the other hand, I do relate just like Margot. And I do think she can do it. And they can give her a chance, but I don't know. I don't know where I stand on this because. I know, I'm vacillating. And I realize that her a chance, but I don't know. I don't know where I stand on this because- I know, I'm vacillating, and I realize that. I hate both sides and things,

but I really do like Marko and I want her to have a chance. And like I said in the last episode, I've never seen someone more excited to clean the toilet than Jeannie. Like I've never seen someone get that defensive about it. But, you know, I guess they should have consulted her, but then at the same time, when does your boss ever consult you for shit?

Like, I've never had that happen. So, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know either, but Jura was like, well, it's not fair for Jimmy to not be on service because she's earned it. She's worked the whole time up to that. Okay, you know, Zim Bobway didn't just start with a Zim.

He used to just be called Bobway, and it worked its way up to get a Zim. You got to work in life. Put the beam in Zim. You got to work in life Put the beam in Zim am I right? So also Jowow this is shame on you and speaking of Captain Sandy You know Captain Sandy's at home watching this like cuddling with Tom Schwartz on a couch and she's like, you know what? Jowow's from my show below deck, and I always taught him about lifting people up and giving people chances, which is why he is as high up in the world as he is now. Because was Juwau always a boasting or wasn't, didn't she?

Did you know he started? Did you know he started? She moved him up. You see? And look at him now, like, oh, it's not fair for someone else to get moved up. Now, I know that I'm fascinating, but Juwau be in support of other people moving up, because your ass was saved by someone named Captain. Captain, didn't you say?

Joao's not that type of person. That's not, he's not that type of person. Although he might have done it for Adam, he really seemed to really enjoy Adam, because he were taught. Because I both had similar, like I have to beat up people for my brother's storylines.

Yeah, they're both like blonde. So, honestly. So, Mark was like, well, how am I supposed to, how am I gonna learn? Which, by the way, it's like, that's true, but also it's not, that's not the, that's not the yacht's responsibility. Like, you could have been learning all this time.

But I'm like with you, but I wish you gonna learn. So, Zaryn is like, well, you're gonna learn on your next pitch. That's what you're gonna do. And Mark goes like, yeah, but so I should never have a chance at service as a greenie. Is that so fair? Yeah, I mean, I get it. I don't think anybody's saying she shouldn't get a chance.

I think it's just the way it was handled, right? Like no one's like, you shouldn't get a chance. Even Jamie's like, you should get a chance. It's just like, I would kind of like to know. I mean, I've been on this job for four weeks and you guys have kicked me off two weeks to do laundry. And then today, I've embarrassed myself the worst I've ever been embarrassed because I was in laundry.

So fuck you, double. Which hasn't happened yet. This is future Jamie. Future Jamie. Future Jamie. Yeah. So, Joao, so Margot's like, yeah, I'm going to learn. And Joao's like, I'm in, for example, and I mean, the respect to you, Coz, so Margot was like, yeah, I'm gonna learn. And Joao was like, I'm gonna, for example,

and I mean, he respect you, Cozir. But Cozir was the second for one charter. I'm sorry you didn't have the experience. You just didn't, I'm so sorry, sorry about that. You just didn't have the experience. You had to drop down and we had to get someone else inside because you couldn't do it. Typical fucking Joao, making this about him, okay?

This is not about you, Joao, okay?? This is not about you joao, okay? And this is not about you missing somebody else. Also this is the episode where joao comes back and shows that he's not really changed at all. So welcome home. Welcome home joao. Yeah, he's basically like, yeah, he kind of just used this as a way to just go after Culver, which by the way, I appreciate going after Culver, that's fun.

But also like, so I'm confused about this because my recollection was after Culver, which by the way, I appreciate going after Culver, that's fun. But also, so I'm confused about this because my recollection was that Culver was a lead deck hand for 24 hours and it was in between charters because it was Luke was fired. Culver took over, he stood around on deck for a little bit and then Jrow came in the very next day. So it makes me wonder if there was something

that was edited out of the season, you know, because Culver at that time also was like, wow, I feel like he acted like this opportunity was a longer opportunity that he had, that he was demoted from. And I was always like, why is he, this is strange, it was only for like half a day that he was like this, why is he acting like this?

Well, I wonder if there was a larger experience that we just never got to see. Well, he did say you were lead deckhand for one charter and you didn't have the experience so you had to drop down. So I think he knew, he's saying like, you had the opportunity and you blew it and you had to move down.

Just like Margot had the opportunity and she got wasted and she got moved out. I think that's what I'm saying. I'm trying to use my Jihuahau language. I just want to really help with feelings while I do it because that's really the only way to live the experience and I'm super method. So yeah, either way, Jihuahau is basically saying,

like, you can learn on the job and you have to earn it. Well, he's basically saying like, you have to earn your way at the top and it's hard just like a culvert because you couldn't earn it. Well, he's basically saying like, you have to earn your way at the top, and it's hard just like a culvert, because you couldn't do it. Yeah. He's basically saying, this fight over here,

let me tell you what this is about. Culver sucks. Okay. That's what this is. Culver has abs in my mouth, and so I don't want him to die. Okay. And so Culver's like,

that's your opinion, man. And he's like, that's the truth. And Culver's like, but's your opinion, man. And he's like, that's the truth. And Culver's like, but you know that there's a lot of moments you don't see, you know, but I think they just edited me back. But I'm here in real time. It's not me watching a show. That's a bad edit. Culver, Culver, the first person to blame a bad edit.

He's like, they just don't show you stuff that I'm doing. That's all. And he's like, yeah, but I could still be a lead deckhand if if Luca wasn't here. And you're like, well, I told you right from the start, it's all about initiative. That's why Luca is here. He lived on the second floor and we said, get over in here. And he did that. And guess what? He's so much better than you. And honestly, I've heard a little bit harder. I don't know, because I'm straight. I've heard a little bit harder. I don't know, because I'm straight. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial.

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So she's crying now and so Serena's running off to help her cry. And it's really sweet how the girls all back each other on this boat. Yeah, unlike we say in I think every episode, but it's nice. We do a lot of housewives. So watching this is a nice break from all of that. Yeah.

Zareena's like, oh, Marga, I didn't mean to upset you, but it is pretty funny to me. And she's like, well, this is what I didn't want to do. And she's like, well, why is it upsetting you that much? What's wrong with you? Did you have to make an onion tower, something like that? I mean, what is it upsetting you that much? What's wrong with you? Did you have to make an onion tower something like that? I mean what could possibly bother you this much? It's like because everyone's telling me that they shouldn't have asked to do it and like it's wrong Did I want to work service and just to do what? Did you just go to service? I didn't realize you asked She's like, yeah, I did ask you know, and like I feel like you guys feel like it was wrong for us to switch

It's just it's not switch. It's not wrong. It's not wrong at all. It's not the Asia. But you're crying. Do you know it's like to try to get a shrimp into somebody's mouth from the tip of your knife? That's that's difficulty. Right. There's no crying in tip and yaki.

Oh, actually, there is. There's no crying in not tip and yaki. There we go. So he's now talking to Jamie and she's like, I'm so sorry. And Jamie's like, no, I'm so fine. Even though I'm crying and really angry, you're right. Now, I'm so fine.

I'm happy for Margot, even though I did just cut up all her blouses. You know, I'm happy for her to be on service. It's just, you know, I'll make my ass all fets eat. And Aisha's like, you know, you worked your ass off. I get it and you're the service girl. That's why you're here because you're so good at it. But it's just when she came to me, I could see that she just so wanted to prove herself and I thought, fuck if I don't give it this chance.

You will. Fogify them, give it this chance. Who will? I mean it's so hard for white women with blonde hair to ever get opportunities. Uh, I never make it in your thing. And Jamie's like, well, if it was anyone but Margaret, I'd be like fuck that bitch. And I should say please, no, it's not zero to do with your performance. And so they hug and say, now go drink a bottle of champagne and take a dark darling. You've earned it. Someone on Patreon said, I guess the phrase is eight hours from bottle to throttle.

I guess that's how you remember the rules. I didn't know what that comment meant. I saw that and I was like, what the fuck does that mean? Of course, my first instinct could be like, throttle me or you. Who wants to throttle me? You got offended by that. I was kind of sleep, you know,

I was kind of like coming out of it. I was like, bottle to throttle, the fellow fuck you. Oh, it's so... To be fair, that is actually something that happened to Kim Richards. Good morning, bottle of throttle. Go fat yourself, Kyle. You want to talk about the husband? So Serena comes in for a little cuddle and Jamie comes in and Jamie's like,

don't cry Margot, Margot's like, it ain't feel bad. And then Jamie, which I just have to say, weaponizing, weaponizing your tears, Margot, Margot that's some tear weaponizing. She's like, boing, boing, boing. Like you're the one who won here. You got the shift.

You don't get to cry. You're the one who said, you should say sorry without crying. So then this true. And Jamie is like, oh, stop. You know, she's like, you mad at me? And she's, no, I'm not mad at you at all. No, I'm fine. It's fine.

And it's just like, oh my god, you know, it's just fucking, this is all hairy, digging with this fucking comments. And this is where they turn hairy into being the biggest gossip queen of all time, which I've never noticed until they started saying at these episodes. Yeah, they make him into like this big medler and everything. So meanwhile, Zorao and Zoraena are actually going to head out on their date now, because this is all happening before they even all go out.

So Zorao is excited, he goes, you know, since my breakup, I haven't been emotionally connected to someone for a very long time. Well, that, I haven't been emotionally connected to someone for a very long time. Well, I guess I was emotionally invested in a little tourism pamphlet for Zim, but who wouldn't be? But do I like it? The longest time I was in love with the lady who was paragliding on the front of the Zim pamphlet. Fortunately, she turned out to be a bit more slut, and so I've left her. But anyway, I have been emotionally isolated, which is why they've hired me to write the column on Lonely Planet for Zimbabwe.

He is so foolish. Isn't this his storyline every single season that he's just come on and some girl is just completely fucked him over and now he's so depressed and has no trust in women. I mean, it's every single women. It's been great. I mean, it's every single time. Well, straight from the fuckboyplaybook. This is the fuckboyplaybook because it gives the fuckboy a reason to say, hey, I just want to take a slow.

I just want to take a slow. I told you I didn't. I told you I didn't. I told you I didn't. Yeah, I wasn't ready. It's like two-fals. Well, you're like crazy. She's like a crazy one. Isn't she's crazy?

Oh, well. So he's like, do I like, he's like, do I like her? I do. But I feel that she's hiding. She just needs to tell me how she feels so I can tell her how I feel. And then we can figure it out from there. She's telling you how she feels every five seconds.

If someone told me as much as that, as much as she does about how she feels, I would have broken up with them already. All she does, well I'm scared. I have my walls up because I'm worried because you fucked my friend over. I just don't know how I feel about you because you fucked my friend up.

Are we about to have sex? I'm not sure how I feel about that because I know that you're a fuck boy. She's literally telling you what she feels every five seconds. Don't pretend she's not telling you what she feels. Yeah, and the thing of the Joao is, he has actually a perfect read on her. He't pretend she's not telling you what she feels. Yeah, and the thing of the drawout is he has actually a perfect read on her. He knows that she's not really being on it.

What she says and how she's acting are two different things. And we can all see. She likes him, but she's scared, so she's putting up walls and defenses. He sees this, but he's very concerned with kind of busting her, like breaking her down, so she admits it rather than just saying, like, okay, I see her vibe, I'm gonna prove her, I'm gonna make it feel safe for her. Instead, he was trying to confront her as we're gonna see on the day.

So like, fuck you, zoom, not zoom. Zim is wonderful, fuck you, fuck you, just chill out. So, now Harry's asking Jamie a few upset her and she's like, well, you know, you did for a minute, but it's fine because then I don't know, but I've actually never even talked to you. You're kind of like not on my class. So I'm just going to go back to forgetting exactly who you are. Okay. Sorry, boy.

I mean, it's like, but just sweet now, won't you? Oh, you know, what did mean it? I don't know how things work in interior. It's just, I know you don't. Clearly. She gets that evil look on her face like damn she's like sought him. So then um Sabrina and Joao are taking selfies in the van and she's telling us how she loves to I really like to out he's from the perfect guy but I see his warning signs that he's only

been here a few weeks I mean you can't see someone's true self in a few weeks you can't you actually can't anybody is watchful a deck, you can see him pretty quickly. He showed his ass pretty quickly in way sooner than a few weeks. It's called a snap judgment, not a 1863 camera, slowly developing judgment, okay? By the way, did you notice the crowd? That's a digital picture snap judgment. That's a digital snap. That was not a old-fashioned Polaroid? That was not a old-fashioned chloride.

That was not a 10-type snap. It's not a 10-type judgment. Did you see the crab, Ronnie? Did you see the crab before we got to this restaurant? It was amazing. Let me see, let me see, because she's taking selfies in the event that I'm going to find. The crab came up twice.

I don't think so. I didn't write anything down for her. So the transitional marine life that we had to get into the state, they do a close up of a crab. And the crab is sitting there at crab's crack me up because they're just like, hey, what's the matter? What's happening? What's going on?

They're just sitting there just like, what's happening? And it's just eating it has its claws, and it's like stuffing its mouth. And I'm like, this crab is hilarious. But then when you look closer, the crab has found a fish head and it's just picking apart the fish head and eating the fish head.

I was like, oh my God, this is morbid. And also not a good sign for the state. It's a, I mean, they do know that. You know that? They do know that. They're showing way more savage quits. It's great.

But also like, you know a crab is, I don't believe that crab is taking down a fish. I feel like some other fish, bit of fish, the fish just hadn't fell off wound up on the ground and the crab's like, yeah, it'll do. Sure. It's just a garbage, it's a package. It's a garbage disposal of fish. It's a garbage disposal of fish.

It's a good old, old crab. Put some sriracha on it. So they go to this Italian place and Serena orders a order of the skinny bitch, please. Every time I leave on my cuba studs. And then the rest of the gang, while they're going to the day, the rest of the gang is getting into the vans. And Harry's like, all right, if you won, what's the goal? So I'm like, I'm going to get the right to the goal.

And I'm like, I'm going to get the right to the goal. And I'm like, I'm going to get the right to the goal. And I'm going to get the right to the goal. And I'm going to get the right to the goal. And I'm going And then the rest of the gang, while they're going to the day, the rest of the gang is getting to the vans. And Harry's like, all right, everyone. What's the ghost? Who's annoyed with you?

And Jamie's like, Harry, get your nose out of the goss for one minute. Goss of Queen, Harry. Can we come up with a nickname for Harry that totally exemplifies how he's acted? All season long. And Culver's like, Harry, what did I tell you, little Gossip Queen? And Margot's like, it's not in stock with you, Harry.

We love you. Just shut the fuck up. What the hell? You're the one who was sticking up for it. And this got him into all the, he got himself into it, but he was trying to stick up for you. Yeah. So back on the day, Shura was like, well, you know what?

I love your laugh. It reminds me of the Z, sure, I was like, well, you know what? I love your laugh. It reminds me of the Zimbabwe National And Serena's like, it's just really nice actually. You guys are getting long locking each other out. You are a nice see there. And he's like, I really didn't think we wouldn't just really because she told me some things about you. And he goes, oh, but that's all right. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I've been mentally abused by five more women since the last time I've been seen on television. That's where I just cling to that pamphlet. It's the only healthy relationship I've ever had, a lady with paraglider over Zimbabwe.

So back at the restaurant, they're ordering elderflower margaritas. And they're calling Harry the gossip officer. That's what Luca calls him. Poor Harry. You know what? It's like about enough to get me in front of all the idiots on the boat, but to get me in front of by the hottest guy on the boat really sucks. Be quiet, Luke.

Okay. Be nice to Harry. I know. So, as Armin is like, I feel like I'm going to be constantly trying to figure you out for so long. And he's like, good. Oh, why not? If you're trying to figure me out, it long. And he's like, good. Oh, why not? If you're trying to figure me out, it may mean that you don't want casual.

So this is him trying to be like, ha ha ha, I know what you, I figured you out. And she's like, no, no, no, I'm the queen of casual. That's why I guess I'm being commissioned to do some teponyaki apparently disgusting. Yeah, and he's like, you're a clown. So I think that he, you know, obviously he's saying, so you don't just want, he's trying to have

like the relationship talk or whatever. And that she's trying to be, pretend that she's avoiding it, even though she's going for it every time she opens her mouth. So it's kind of annoying to watch. I think that she wants it. I actually do think she wants it, but she's also very guarded and she has good reason to be guarded. And also like, why are they talking at this level?

I mean, they just, they flirted for several weeks. They finally had sex and now all of us in their talk about relationships. It's a little... She wants him to say, listen, you have a total right to be wary of me. I've been on TV acting like a jackass. I did act like a jackass to a shot on national TV and still took forever to not be a jackass. And I just fucked over one of your best friends. I thought it was casual dating. Obviously I hurt her feelings more than I thought I did.

But if we're gonna be together, you can't constantly be bringing up my faults because it makes me not wanna open up with you. Like, I'm really gonna try something with you and I really like you, but I can't have you constantly coming for me. And then she could be like, you're right, I'm sorry, I'm doing that.

And then they could make out and try something until he really does fuck up, because we all know he's going to. But I think she's just like hammering on him so hard. She's like doing the thing guys do, I think, where they're trying to break you. And then when you break, they're like, oh, now look at them. They're so angry, you know

But I think it is kind of a good. I'm doing both sides today. No, no, no, no I think you have to do it with you while because the only way to show you how's anger is To get him angry because that's what you know in a relationship and I always say it's not who you are gonna marry You cannot concentrate on that you have to concentrate on who you're gonna divorce because it's not who you are gonna marry. You cannot concentrate on that. You have to concentrate on who you're gonna divorce. Because when people fight with you, that's when you see their true sides and their nasty sides. Yeah, but I also, I don't think though,

I don't like the idea of like going into a date, like I'm gonna get this person angry to see what their anger is like. I think that's, that is actually a self-defeating and self-defeating prophecy. I think that's, that is actually a self-defeating and self-defeating prophecy. I think that's not, you know, like I actually also don't even think that's fair to the other person. I feel almost feel like it's a trap. I'm not defending Joa.

I think you're right. Joa should have said those things in Joa's fault is that he's one of those people who likes to confront people with others with like his assessment of them and be like, I'm right, you know, and like we've all met those people and they're super annoying. And I think as honestly as a gay person, I'm especially triggered by it because how many times

when I was in the closet, that people come up to me, there always be someone who'd be like, Ben, you're gay, aren't you? And you're just like, fuck you. I mean, yes, but you're not supposed to know that. And I'm not there yet. So don't do that to me.

And so for me, it particularly annoys me when people do that because it hit me in a way that I really didn't like, but it also, I just think it's rude when people do that all. I've seen people do it like, I know who you are. You're the sort of person who orders food and then takes it to go. And it's like, you may be accurate,

but what do you, but you know what, though? Fuck you, because you know what, though, fuck you, because I like what you want a brownie point, because you figured something out. Now, do we do it professionally on a podcast? Yes, but we're not doing it to people's faces. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I see what you're saying. And I'm not saying it's necessarily right

that she's doing that, but I think that that is what she's getting. She's like, listen, you're presenting this perfect vision of yourself. We all know that that's not real, so show me your real self. But unfortunately, the real self doesn't happen until he's already got you in his clutches. I mean, that's his pattern from what we've seen on the show. So it's like you're arguing with cigarettes. You know what I mean? It's like you're telling a cigarette, oh, you, I know you.

So what am I supposed to buy your bad for me? You're bad a cigarette. Oh, you, I know you. So what am I supposed to buy? You're bad for me. You're bad for me. It's like, yeah, and you're still gonna fucking smoke me. So what do you want me to do about it? You're the one fucking having an argument with cigarettes. Joao is deadly, okay? Joao is toxic.

He is deadly. He's never proven to be anything other. Nobody changes that fast. And you know it. And you know you should not be fucking around with this guy. Unless that. But if you want to do it, but then don't do the whole like, oh no, I'm gonna get myself into trouble.

Oh no, my friends, see they say like, you know what, he is trouble, but I'm into him right now. I'm gonna go for this ride and see what happens. Or just say, you know what, I'm not gonna mess with this. She can't mess with it because she even says, she says it right now again. So he's telling her, okay, you know what, I'm not going to mess with this. She can't mess with it because she even says, she says it right now again. So he's telling her, okay, he's like, you were about to kiss me with the mouth full of food.

That's cute. And she's like, oh, it's just easier to be casual when you don't care because you don't have to care how you eat in front of someone. And he's like, you should always be like that. Anyway, I know you're not good at casual. And she's like, yeah, but if someone's like, let's do casual and it's just us, then I can't do that because it has to be completely open or I get feelings.

Like, either have to be sleeping with, we have to be sleeping with everybody or it has, you know what she's saying? She's gonna catch feelings. And so he's like, so you're saying that if it's just you and either could be feelings, why are you choosing to be casual? She's waiting for you to say you have feelings

and you don't wanna be casual. What the hell? You're smarter than this. So I think this guy's just still fucking with her. Yeah. And because I was starting to believe like, okay, as well as maybe change, maybe they do have something going on here.

And so then, then he starts to kind of say some bullish stuff, he's like, you know what? You are a light that I have been literally so happy to wake up to. And I just don't want to ruin it. Okay, because otherwise I just have to deal with the flashlight that is cold and I prefer your light instead. And she's like, I mean, look, you have all these positive things.

And he goes, okay, what's the first negative thing you think about me? And she has fake. That's why. And he's okay, what's the first negative thing you think about me?" And she goes, fake. That's why. He's like, really? I mean, you didn't even take a second to think about it. I said, that was harsh. That was very, very harsh.

And he's like, I really didn't see this coming. I mean, if you think I'm fake, why even here? Why did we wind up sleeping with each other? Why did she kiss me if this is how she feels? It's like, well, because she knows you're fake, but she wants to get some booty and she's having fun. And that's the definition of casual. Also, she really worded this in a dick way. Because like, you know, you're going to piss somebody off by saying that.

Like, I don't even like you out. And that's shitty. I think what she meant is if I have to say something to you, it's that I'm afraid that you're faking it with me and that you're pretending to be this person and you're really going to hurt me in the end, you know? Because then he could be like, no, I'm not. I don't want to hurt you, but just being like you're a fake ass. But I think she wanted to pre-heart him. She was like, you're going to hurt me.

So I'm going to hurt you for, I'm going to take the first shot at you. And I think she also wanted to undermine this. I think she knows, I think she is catching feelings for him. I think she has a conflict with her friend. She knows this is a bad path. So I think she's actively trying to sabotage the situation because she's kind of afraid to go down this path. Really, I think that she's maybe,

I mean, I can see that maybe she's probably trying to get on camera that she's at least putting up some defense of her friend like I think you're an asshole. So prove that you're not an asshole. Say you're not an asshole. Admit that you admit that you were an asshole to her and you're going to be better or something like that. But I think that Serena does like him and want to be with him. All things can be true. Everything you said and everything I said, I think are all the balls above. You know what humans are? They're like a vitamin with tons of different things

and they're complex. It's like syndrome silver, syndrome zarmina. No, I think it's all of the above. I think she is trying to sabotage. I think she does. She is interested. I think she is trying to get it on the camera. I think she is literally everything.

I think she is a complex, she's, you know what? She is, she's a human. But you know what I mean? She's really bad at reading, she's reading the signs, but she's doing it anyway. Like when the signs are saying, uh oh, you know like on Pee Wee's big adventure when the road signs keep changing

and they get twistier and twistier and it just keeps going and it's like that. But one of the biggest signs that I think they're failing to read and I didn't even see this yet until I was thinking during the scene, like what is our couple name even? Because you know you're only a good couple I didn't even see this yet until I was thinking during the scene, like, what is our couple name even? Because you know you're only a good couple if you have a good couple name.

Yeah, that's everybody knows that. So there are a couple name I think would be Sarau, which is like Sarau. That's not a good couple name. Wow. Do you know what, Ronny, do you know what our couple name is? Lonnie. Ben Ron is our couple name is Lonnie. Ben Ron is our cup. Ben Ron, I actually Ben Ron is it, but if you really think about it, it's Bonnie.

Actually, you're right. No, it would be Bonani, I think, because you get more than one letter. I know, but Bonnie is the funniest version that we like. Bonnie is cute, but my mom used to be best friends with the lady named Bonnie, and it was another red head, and then Bonnie and my mom got into a fine hand. I ain't got a clue. I still don't speak, and my mom is still very hurt by Bonnie. So just out of allegiance to my mom,

I have to say fuck Bonnie. Okay. Wow. And we are Ben Ron. Fuck Bonnie. Okay. Not really, if Bonnie hears this somewhere, I'm sure you're great.

I loved you, loved you when I was a kid. Okay, nothing personal, but out of, you know, respect my mom, fuck Bonnie. So we can. Yeah. Bonnie Bidalia, if you're listening, fuck you. Also, Serena, see what I just did for my mom? I know that Billy is not your mother, but that is, that is how you should have entered him to this.

Fuck you out the end. That's it. Yeah, that's over. It's time for commercial. It's time for a end. That's it. Yeah, that's over. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. So then, Dora was like, you are a fucking rarer look-ooster. And she's like, oh, you're a bit of a shit fuck for me, Dora. And he goes, well, you can't tell me that.

If you want something, if you want to do something, ask me. And she goes, okay, well, why are you screaming at me in front of all of my friends right now? So, like making light, which I thought was funny. And then we go to commercial and then when we come back, the best clip I've ever seen on Below Deck Down Under or any Below Deck was this octopus thing. What was this? It was two little squid things.

Were they octopus or squid? I don't know. They were octopus, there were octopuses. And they were fighting. But there was like a big shell. Okay, there was like a big shell. Like one of the ones you put up to your ear to hear the sea. Well, not when you're in the sea.

Yeah, well, it was the same. Yeah, go on. Yeah, so they're both standing on the side of the shell. And then one scurries over and runs and jumps on top of the shell. And then the other one runs and scurries and jumps on top of the octopus on top of the shell. So it's like, I mean, I was crazy. What, I watched it fight.

I actually, so I actually looked it up and I looked at what was going on. So it turns out that in Australia, at this time of the year, this was actually octopus black Friday and that shell was on sale. And so they are just was like a big brawl. And you know, like, you know, under what a Walmart really causes a lot of drama. It was black and... And it was squitting Friday. Listen, that shell was marked out.

Someone was really going for that Vizio. It was a Vizio shell. You know what? Well, they do hear things from that. Apparently you put it up to here. You know what? Like, well, they do hear things from that, you know, apparently you put it up to here. Someone down there is like, Oh my God, put this shell up to your ear. You can hear the ocean. That was always on my way. I went to generous jokes from like the 80s should be

like, you know what people tell you to put a shell up and you can hear the ocean. Yeah, it's called your ear. You're saying, let me get the fucking ocean. I'm eating it. She didn't say fucking well. She was too get for that. Wasn't she. RIP, not dead. I heard it, generous.

RIP reputation. Okay, so the point of these octopuses were going at it, it was absolutely amazing. And I was also glad to see, like, you know, we love my octopus teacher. If you ever want to hear a recap of that, we actually have that in our feed. But we love my octopus teacher, which was a really lovely movie. And it really showed this, this lovely, thoughtful octopus. But I like this because it just shows that octopuses are not monolith and they

can be real assholes to each other. And I was like, I loved it. It's a great, great moment. Yeah, it really was. So now we're back with Serena and Joao. And she's like, okay, I'm sorry. And he's like, it's okay. She goes, I just overthink everything. And he's like, yeah, but you know, you pretend that you don't.

And that's the problem. You're like, it's casual, but it's not casual. And you wouldn't say, you have to say, because I don't know what you're thinking. You do know what she's thinking. She's literally just told you 10 times what she's thinking You just don't like what she's thinking. Wow because she's not buying her load of horse shit Okay, he's trying to kind of break her down You know he's talking at her and not talking with her and he's like I just don't know like what is my

Well, she says well, I just don't know what are my three poor friends gonna think about this. And I go, I don't know what are my girlfriend going to think. I was like, oh God, this guy's terrible. You're way finer than him. You're way better. Just giving it a bit. So then Zarina's like, she's like, well, now you can open up your mouth

and tell me what do you mean by that. And he goes, what do you mean? You think I'm lining you up for me to my girlfriend. I wasn't sure what he meant by that. Because that would be actually, do you mean like lining Zarina up? What do you mean? He's saying, you think I'm lining you up

to meet my girlfriend? Like I'm just bringing you along so I could hurt somebody else basically. Got it. That's what I kind of figured. She's like, well, you have done something like that in the past. And he says, no, I haven't. She goes, in fact, I know you have. And it goes boom. And he's just like makes a big thinking face. You know, like his wacky thinking face. And she's like, don't listen, you're a lousy chick, all right? Just knit it.

Like, you're allowed to be a dick, just say. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no, your friend, you exactly what was going on. I never lied about it. And he gets, no, no, no, no, no, no, your friend knew exactly what was going on. I never lied about it. And he gets in her face and she's like shocked and she puts his hand down. And he puts his hand down. And he's like, cover it up. And he's like, cover it up.

Oh my God, yeah. He caught himself because she uncovered him. That's why I'm saying in retrospect, maybe it's better that she's been coming out of him like that because she like, finally got to see that. Because that's what you're gonna be fighting with, you know? Yeah, I mean, that's, it's true, like she did get it. I'm like, I don't know, it's like,

it's so weird because she did get it, but it's like she was looking for it too, it was like in trapment, and I'm not defending Jouaou, but I also feel like, I don't know. I feel like, I don't know. Maybe I have this rosy view that if you go on a date, you shouldn't be going on a date to try to set all the negatives. You should be going on a date to find a connection. But they have the same.

The existence. But they have the same. So she needs, in order for them to get anything going, he has to say, I've been an asshole, and I wasn't asshole to your girlfriend, and I'm really sorry. I don't want it to be like that with us. I feel different for you. Now, it would probably be a lie because if he was more

experienced, which I'm surprised he's not, he would know to say that. It's like manipulation 101. I'm probably asking a huge manipulator and just saying, listen, I wasn't asshole, I'm not anymore. I've been waiting for you this whole time, baby. But for as much as, as much as he complains that she doesn't come out and say it, he doesn't come out and say it because she's eluded like you treat my friend badly and he goes, well, you don't know the full story. There's actually more to that story.

It would, I don't remember it that way. He doesn't say what it is. So I think like, honestly, a more effective thing is that she could just be like, honestly, what you just said is she could say, I like you, but I have this issue because of my friend. And I need you to address it. But she doesn't really do it. She's sort of like, coy about it.

And then he also never addresses it. So they are bad communicators. But also, I don't understand why this all has to be resolved and addressed on the first date, to be honest. I think the first date really could just be fun. Well, they've already connected. It's not just be fun. Well, they've already connected. So it's not about the date.

Like, they've already connected. And she said on an episode that it's different for girls. And, you know, obviously, she can only speak for herself, but she's saying it's different for girls because once they've had sex, they start catching feelings no matter what. So she said that basically, and then we saw her have sex. So we know that this is more than just like their first date.

And they do have like a massive chemistry, right? We can see it on the TV. They don't really do. They don't have one of these fake below deck relationships. Energy like Harry and Margot or Jamie and Culver or the people who come on and they're just like on the bachelor and they feel like, okay, well, we're the love story line, so I guess we better make this happen.

They seem to have like a real, like, animalistic kind of chemistry going on. So I think it's like, fuck yeah, like we've only got a week more together. So what are we doing here? Yeah, I mean, I understand that. I think that's what makes it, that's the crinkle in it, is that they are about to go

now off to their different corners of the world. But I don't know, I just feel like, I mean, Jouaou is Jouaou, she knows Jouaou is Jouaou and I think you guys are Jouaou. Okay, you're Jouaou, you're full of Jouaou. So, they, so now she's like, she's like, aha, I've caught you. Either way, whatever, whether like, whether I would go on a first date and try's like, she's like, aha, I've caught you either way, whatever, whether like, like, whether I would go on a first date and try to like trap someone like that, it doesn't

even matter because she has done it now. And she's like, look, I was like, she's like, huh, you shout it and you point it and that is such a shiv and it's a matter of fucking gnaw, this is things to do. And that's the one time you ever talked to me like that again. I'm going to rip you a new fucking ass, so I'm not joking. One thing I do not tell of it is shouting, which is, I'm glad she said that, because now she's established her boundaries,

which is good. But so how are some of that? I'm glad to see this from a chef, really. I mean, just as someone who's watched a lot of this show and someone who's worked with a ton of chefs and someone who's raised by a chef, these people are not like this. I don't know how much therapy she's been through a chef. These people are not like this. I don't know how much therapy she's been through

or how she's gotten to be like this, but the fact that she can so calmly be like, I don't believe in yelling and that's not what I, girl, he should get a sheet pan to his head. I'm like, what kind of chef are you? Who do you need to throw an eye for them? Like, yeah, chop off a digit. So he goes, no, it was passionate aggression,

which I'm like, okay, now you have officially lost this fight. Wow. I'm trying to be charming again, you know. And she's like, well, really nice day. Thanks for inviting me and I kind of laugh. But he's pissed now. And he tells us, I'm giving someone my honest, vulnerable siddah into being threatened back in my face.

Wow. How was he doing that? Remind me how he was being honest and vulnerable, and it's being threatened back in my face. Wow. How was he doing that? Remind me how he was being honest and vulnerable right now. He wasn't. That's the thing. He keeps saying she is not. I agree with you when you said that he keeps accusing her of not saying anything about herself, but she has and he has not said anything.

We don't know anything about this guy. Nothing. So not even know about this. He's not even he's not even clarified anything about this breakup that has traumatized him so much. We know nothing, just because you go on a date and you sit with someone and you order drinks that does not make you honest and vulnerable. Right, so that was a disaster this first date. So now we go back to the other the rest of the gang having dinner. And Margot is asking, have you heard from Rollo yet? Is that his name? The guy who runs the boat and

invented Karmel's covered in chocolate sheets like little cylinders? I love that guy. Oh, what if you roll it? You gonna work on Rollo's boat. Yeah, and boss or something, his name is Roll. And Jamie is like, yeah, Cove, Cove, what's going on in Olaf? Is this really a boat? I mean, honestly, Captain Olaf, I would believe Captain Rola before I believe Captain Olaf. It's the mayor of the town, Betty White's character,

and Golden Girls grew up. Rose. So Culver's texting Captain Olaf. He's like, Olaf, bro, checking in on the med gig from my girl in aah. So I can't actually believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. responding, responding, but no one ever responds. Nothing says the gig is off by actually having someone

named Olaf, like his office in his name. So now the bill arrives at dinner and of course, and Lucca pays it and of course not Culver. So Harry's like, Culver hasn't paid all season. Gossip both for supporting to duty, Culver hasn't paid and Culver. So how I was like, Culver hasn't paid all season. Gossip both for supporting to duty. Culver hasn't paid. And Culver's like, hey, what? Thank you for here. Here, I'm reaching out in my hand. Oh, no, I'm falling over in my chair. I'm tumbling away. I tried to pay for it, but I'm rolling into the ocean. Sorry, everyone.

Yeah, because Luca takes it, right? And Culver is like, very confrontational. And there's like, Culver, come on, you've got to splash a bit, soon my, Culver. And Culver, it's like, well, then just send it to me next time because nope, he grabbed it. You grab it from him. That's how it is.

You know, the first one that grabs it, pays that you go to get it, and then you go to grab it. It's like he's trying to teach him how to play flag football. You know what I mean? Fucking Culver. You know how to do this, Culver. You offer once in a while.. You know what I mean? And fucking Culver. You know how to do this Culver. You offer once in a while, you fucking take her. This is people like Culver.

They just sit back. They do a lot of sit ups. And so then they just sit back and they take because they have abs, okay? You don't have, you're not that good, okay? You're hot, but you're not hot enough to never pay for a fucking meal, sir. It's like this very passive way of saying,

oh, I'll pay for it, but you don't actually reach for it. You don't volunteer, you don't jump up. We all know how to do it. We all know what it's like if you want to pay for, you do the thing where you grab it, and then you do the arms swipe across people like, no, no, no, no, no, we've all done that. But you do that thing where you just sort of like,

it's just how you do it. Everybody knows how to do it. Even Culver, he just won't do it because he's a fucking user laid, he's just that kind of guy who just fucking floats through life. I mean, he barely even does his job. And this is on TV where he's doing his job this poorly. And he still just gets brought back, you know what I mean? Imagine what he's like when there's no cameras around.

Yeah, exactly. He's like, wow, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't with this shit. Oh man, listen, listen, I got a credit card. It's from the Dutch baby union of America. Okay, I got a lot of points on this one. After every hundred points, you get a Dutch baby from Chef Kim. I mean, admittedly, this is just a piece of cardboard my mom gave me,

but it's pretty cool, huh? He's like, hold on, I got something to pay for this. Err, err, err, like, sir, we don't accept bread as payment. It's not bread. It's a Dutch baby. Does this, hey, do you guys take Dutch baby pay? I can just tap this right on your reader right here. So now they go back to that empty bar they were in last time. And Mark was like, oh my God, I'm so glad we came back here. We never come back to the same place.

So you're like the only people there. I know they're probably offering like $3 drinks, just have people in there. So Luca and Jam, you're kind of flirting because he's testing her necklace, like she's wearing a pearl necklace. And she's like, you have to of flirting because he's testing her necklace, like she is wearing a pearl necklace. And she's like, you have to why you know it's real pills. He holds up to your teeth and it so feels chalky.

So he's like doing that. And it's like, there's like sparks flying between them, and he's like, oh my God. He's like, oh, God, Jam is like a dork, but she's also kind of sexy. Actually, she's just pretty much just a six, just sexy. And oh, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Why is like a dork, but she's also kind of sexy. Actually, she's just pretty much just a six, just sexy. And all broke head, broke head, broke head. Why is she a dork?

Because she knows how to bite down into pearls to see if they're real. Obviously. I didn't know where that came from. I've got to love him bow thinking, like him bow logic. Like wow, she's curious about how pearls taste. What a dork. So now Jamie and Culver are sitting together and Culver's like, oh, I mean, I don't mind paying

Bond rounds or anything or paying. I mean like take my card Why whatever the fuck you want, but don't make a big deal out of it I just get sick of all that bullshit drama, you know I'm a little sir. You know, is this what you tell capital one when they call you? You know, it's just a one drama. You know, is this what you tell capital one and when they call you? You know, it's just a one drama. You don't have to be so dramatic. And then pay the bill.

That's it, Colver. Okay. Nobody would be repossessing your car if you had paid for it. Okay. You don't get to, you don't get to argue with the repossession for saying pay your bills. Jamie is so turned off by this. She's already been turned off, but she's just sitting here watching

this manchild complain because like he got caught not paying again and she's like, oh my god, I have definitely chosen the wrong guy here. But then I just don't understand her. Also, I think we skipped this episode. So just to mention, they were giving him shit last time they were out about paying, and he was resisting and so she picked up the check and was pissed off. So she's an extra pissed off this time that he's still like he didn't get it, you know. And so she's like, well, I'm just tired. I want to go to bed. And what happened? I was saying this she confuses me. Don't they go together? Don't they go to bed together? Does she just leave tonight? Well, they go to bed together tonight. Oh, right.

Very romantic location. So that's later. So now Zarina and Joao joined the group and Lucas is like, hi, how was dinner? And I was like, oh, it was good. I got to meet all of five of her. It was great. I'm like, she was pretty consistent. Like, she was Zarina was being just Zarina. Like, she's, now, but this is classic fuckboy thing where you now make the girl

seem like she's the crazy one. Yeah, of course. Um, so let's see, girls are talking outside and Serena's like, um, you know, it was nice, but I kept shouting at him. It's just this mistrust thing I have, you know, I just need, but I get shouting at him. It's just this mistrust thing I have, you know? I just need to get in the real world to see if we can really do casual, you know? Why can't you just date him? Why do you have to do casual? Why does everybody try and talk themselves into doing casual? I really don't understand it.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to actually be in a relationship with somebody and saying, you know what? I want to like love who I fuck. How about that? How about we try that out, guys. Everyone's just so concerned about getting hurt, but maybe that's like what. It's more tough casual. But also just, yeah, I'm just like also, like you spent so much time trying not to get

hurt in life, but maybe you just might have not live in life. So, you know, I think some people really are into casual. I mean, look, we're gay. So, it's not like we can't, I mean mean we're trained to do casual. I can do casual But I think a lot of people just are not built for casual and they lie to themselves and then they freak out One of my best friends is like that and it's been like this for years and years where I'm like stop saying your casual I know they grow up with him and you're already picking out China. Stop it stop saying I like Oh, but I am casual and And then a week later, it's like, yeah, because I think people

create images of themselves and what they want. And then there's cognitive dissonance because they don't want to be that way. And it's like you're adding a whole other layer. You're like, I don't want to get hurt, but you're actually, you want to hurt yourself actually. Like someone who, like, honestly Madison from below deck sailing, she's someone who's like, I just want casual. And I believe her. She really did just want casual. She never fell into that trap of like, I caught feeling she was like, dude, she was consistent the whole season like, yeah, I just wanted something casual. That's someone I believe. But there are a lot of people who in general men, women who are just like, I just want something

casual and like, you don't want something casual. Why are you lying to yourself? You're hurting yourself. Just throw yourself into it. Have fun. And if you get hurt, you'll deal with that when that happens. Yeah. So easy to judge it from outside the fish, but a lane in there.

So fun. It's actually literally fun to do it too. So then Jamie has to make this all about herself because she's a joowl. There's nothing about Jamie, I'm sorry, I'm telling you. Because she takes Serena talking about her to go, yeah, it's about thy fry. Same as me and Kulver.

No, it's not the same as you and Kulver. No, it's not. And she's like, is it gonna be great or is it not gonna be great? You know, like, I just have all these other happy places. And I just realized like, he's my only happy place on the boat, but will he be my happy place off the boat? That's a little scrunchy face, like cute little scrunchy face.

No, you don't like him, get rid of him. You don't like you don't, you like that, you ask that question, is your answer also. So Culver decided to pay for everyone's drinks, much cheaper probably, okay? Like everyone's like $3 or Tuesday night, like discount drinks. So he spent probably like $45 and they go back to the bet, to the boat and everything.

And Lucas making noodles and eating ramen with marga, which is also really cute. I actually think that Luca and Margo could be really cute together. I think that I guess Luca just probably works really well with anyone because he's adorable. And then, so Culver, JB has like gathered some pillows and some blankets so that way they could like sleep somewhere together. And so you're thinking they're going to take a guest room or maybe they'll sleep out on the deck, something romantic. And he's like, hey, hey, check this out. And he like lifts up a hatch.

And he's like, have a wee go down there. And he like lifts up a hatch. And he's like, have it, we go down there. And it's like a bilge. I was like, what the fuck is this? A loss. And acid, it was, are you way, is doomsday happening? What is this? I was like, this is so lost. And it's gonna end the same way.

This relationship is gonna end the same way. Everyone's gonna be like, what a fucking waste, you know? So they go down into the bilge, which is crazy. And I'm like, what is this? Like I get him because he's a child, and I think he, like for him, that's the toy basement, right? Is that the toy basement?

It's like not even, it's just like just random supplies. Like they show like a, like a bin of some sort of assets and some cleaning supply. It's like not even the toy garage. So of course he likes it because he's a child. But Jamie, have some self-respect. Oh my god, what are you doing? Like I respect you more than you respect you. You are better than this. Please get away from Culver and the builds. And was there no other room available?

Like who got down there to sleep on purpose? They have huge, gorgeous, luxury master bedrooms. And there's also something about being under that hatch that feels a little scary. It feels like the sort of thing where someone like will lock it and then they'll leave the ship and then you're trapped down there. I don't know, like, it's just terrible. I almost feel like she did it just to build a case for why she's going to leave them, you know, to be like, you know, it's just terrible. I almost feel like she did it just to build a case for why she's gonna leave him. You know, to be like, you brought me down to the bilge. The disgusting. I'm gonna have to leave you, you know?

Yeah. Wow, this was something. It was, I was, I can't believe that. I mean, that's not an excuse to leave somebody because you ended up like hooking up down there. So, no, I don't think that one works. I think she needs to just leave him. I don't understand. I don't understand her thought process at all. So then they're eating Luke and Marco

or eating noodles together. And he's like, what's going on? What's going on in there? Wait, is someone in there? And he goes and checks and lifts the lid and looks like, what are you doing in there? He's like, cool, was taken it down to the dumpster storage. Take it to the master cap and bro. Hi, there's lots of safety training gone down here. Yeah. God, it was. This is please people. Okay, between Shruav and Culver, men who are listening to this, or I'll say it could be anyone doesn't have to be men. Don't do these

things on dates. Don't do these things with the people that you're into. Why not? Didn't seem to do any harm in this situation. It seemed to work. It's not going to be good for longevity. So then Zarina, meanwhile, is in Zawow's bed. Because she's like, all right, that was fun. I got you angry and I established boundaries. You passed the test, but passed the test because the test was, could you fail the test and you passed that by failing it? So anyway, I'm in the bed now. As you're asked, I'm going to put on my Zim Jamazon.

And I'm sorry, I just want to have a nice easy night. So you'll have to leave my bed. I'm wounded. And she's like, are you saying them more D's? It's not really saying. And he's like, yes, I'm just tired. And she's like, all right saying them more these? Something's saying. And he's like, yes, I'm just tired. And she's like, all right, well, what's shame? See ya. So she leaves. And then at 2 a.m. Culver and Jamie come out of their shame hole.

I'm like stumbled back to bed. I'm still mortified. So then next morning, time for the last. Charter, everybody. So Jamie is telling Margo that she went down to the builds last night and Margo's like, wait, like in the floor, that sounds really bad. And Jamie goes, thanks, babe.

Thanks. So you're waiting. So you guys went and had sex like in the floor, like in that in that space with the spiders and where we sometimes throw wet sponges there. Yeah. Wow. That's pretty bad. I mean, we've had a lot of bad things happen this season. So down in the mess or in the mess, Joao is talking to, he sees Serena. Okay, so season there and he's just doing his ignoring thing. He's like, I'm mad. I'm very, very mad. Get prepared to feel the revenge of Zim. So he's even like when he's mad, he gets so squinty eyes

and his hair spikes up just a little bit more. And he's like, Zim, so he's moving things around the kitchen ramp and he's like, helloa, wha, wha. So he's moving things around the kitchen ramp, and we're like, hello, honey, what's up? And he's just ignoring her, squinting his eyes. And she, and he goes, finally, what's up? And she's like, oh, God, here we go. Yeah.

And you did kind of create this monster, but you know, at least you see now. Now I hope that you'll back away. But he's, so he's punishing her now. He's punishing her because she coaxed out the real side of him, so he's punishing her. And it's also, it's just part of the, it's again, it's the fuckboy thing.

It's like, you know, now you like, you have a moment of closeness. Now you gotta push, yeah, I'm gonna push you away. I'm gonna make you seem crazy, I'm gonna push you away. I'm gonna withhold and yeah, you have to grab it. This is so classic. So they gather for the preference sheet meeting and there's awkward energy because shawans are not talking. And we learn that Andrew Hacksdram is a cannabis expert. He's the primary with his wife. And they want to be greeted with Don Hulier shots, and they want upscale Teppanyaki

to include Flaming Onion Volcano and wants the chef to put on a show in front of them. Okay, I'm not going onto a yacht for Teppanyaki. Go to a Teppanyaki place for that. What, like, unless it's like the SS Benihana, why would you expect this on your yacht? This is so ridiculous. You know, if something I was thinking about

during this whole Teppanyaki thing, I've worked in fine dining before. And I know that this isn't fine dining, this is yachting and it's a different thing. But in fine dining, it is not do whatever the customer wants. I can tell you that right now. Yeah. It's if the customer doesn't like what you're doing, the customer is a fucking idiot and they're not good enough to be here to give us

$500 for this check. I mean, there is none of this like, oh my god. Okay, wait, you want tepon Yankee? Oh my god. How do we get up any honas in here and do that for? They'd be like, fuck you. Go to Benny Hanna's, you fucking loser. This is not the last one for you. And we will have your picture up on the wall so that the host just never makes And we will have your picture up on the wall so that the host just never makes a mistake of letting your stupid ass in here again. Okay, so I don't understand some of this, especially when you're waiting on pure trash.

Okay, no, you do not get to just make us get a fucking Benny Hanna table in the middle of it. Well, come on. Yeah, like that's, it's like special equipment, special training, it's like you do know, that does not just appear. But that being said, isn't it possible to like hire a Teppanyaki chef as obviously that-

That's what they should have done. Right. Like they, I'm sure that if they can like source random, like move on, root stuff every five seconds, they can, they'm sure there's like a Teppanyaki chef because there's like a, I feel like we see it all the time on these shows that they bring in a tap and yaki chef and someone's basement. What was it? It was, it was, what's it? It's

Shamari on Atlanta had a tap and yaki table in her basement. No, it was Tanya. Tanya. Yeah. So, it was our Shamari threw up at the tap and yaki. Tammy loved that. Tammy Hondrick. Tammy Yucky table. Oh my goodness. Enjoy selling that home. Tammy Yucky table in the basement. Tammy Hondrick needs to be on the next house hunters. What I'm really looking for?

Okay, we need to have close to town. And also, tap and yucky in the basement. Are there any houses that have tapppanyaki in the basement? Oh, God. So Serena's like, I just feel like this is setting me up for humiliation and the captain's like, listen, I get it, but it's the last charter. Let's just do it.

And Serena's like, if I can keep that, make a stone, you know, a strip of Keith Stone, who turned out to be a real person. Did you know that? Did not know that. It's like somebody from like local Midwest beer commercials or someone somebody told us in our comments today. So thanks for the

information. I love that I love that Culver is not even creative enough to come up with his own stripper with a bullet. You took it from a car commercial. So the captain's like, yeah, I don't think that's what they want. This is a bit more formal. And she's like, put it, it's just a flat plate. And you do some steak and shit on it and flip it onto their plate with a thing, right? I mean, listen, I don't think this is my domain. And he's like, I don't care, you're gonna do it. Hmm.

Nah, I don't think so. I would be the same as her. I would be like, no, you can hire somebody to bring in one of these fucking tables and bring in a chef who does this. No. This is specialized or say like maybe we'll have like a reinvented tap and yucky where it's just like I click Everything in the kitchen and bring it out, you know like this is yeah, this is It's like telling him okay fly a plane now and he's like no, I'm a captain, but I'm a captain of boats

It's like no you're a captain and you'll do what we say because we're rich No, she doesn't know how to do that. That's a dangerous thing just flicking around hot things on fire at people. Yeah, onion towers, come on. So just have an onion, by the way, have an in-rings. Do you need your onions to be a tower? Do you need the verticality of it? I don't think so.

Also like the onions at the top are not gonna cook as well as the ones on the bottom. Sorry, because the ones on the bottom are touching the grill and the ones on the top are just in the air. So Zorina is not happy about this. So Jamie, Aisha is telling us about setting up a Japanese table scape for the evening, and Jamie is like, well, Aisha is margo and save. She's not understanding what she's coming from and wants Mago to live. But at the same time, she just really didn't take me into

account as much as she should have, which I guess, sure. And then, she was moping around. He's like, I'm irritable. And I don't know why. Because you had a terrible, terrible date and got called up for your shit last night. Yeah, because you got called up as being a fucking asshole. And I guess what you're being a fucking asshole. You got called out for being a fucking asshole. And now guess what you're being a fucking asshole.

You got called out for being a manipulative asshole. And now you're gonna walk around the rest of the season being a manipulative asshole. You know what? This is why cynicism works. And this is why I never back down from not believing in people. I know some of you think it's a very sad way to live.

It's not because you can spot people like this. And then you're okay with it, you know? You know that they're shit? You didn't believe they were anything more. Now it's not everybody, but a Jihuahua is gonna Jihuahua, okay? Yeah, yeah, Jihuahua is gonna Jihuahua. All right, so there's more cleaning and stuff. And now that guests are approaching,

Margot has a tray of champagne glasses and she's holding it and she's like, okay, Marge, don't spill deep breaths, deep breaths ever. Okay, Marge, you can do it, Marge. I was so scared she was going to knock those all down. And then the cast of Don't Worry Darling approaches, what the fuck are these people? These people?

All the guys looking exactly the same and their Thomas Bahama attire and they're like crazy, steppford wives, wives. This group of San Juan, Capastrano fakers getting on board. All fucking each other behind the scenes. Let's just put that out there right now. You're the one who has been very vocal about everyone in Orange County being swingers and you've never seen a bigger group of

swingers than this group of best friends who are the best friends of all best friends times. Gross. So they're coming up and immediately I'm grossed out. I was like, wow, you know, usually this show spreads out to gross people. It's like when gross charter, then the next month's okay. Although the ladies from the last charter ended up being slightly better by the time they were gone. Slightly. Slightly. So anyway, one of the guys, so Captain's like,

okay, we're gonna get toys in the water, blah, blah, blah, and of course Jamie loves them. You see, I don't trust her. She's like, oh my God, they're all fucking hot. I'll marry them boy and girl, I don't trust her. She's like, oh my god, they're all fucking hot. I'll marry them boy Girl, I don't care and it's just like, oh my god, you guys all look like a part of the same collection One of them because we are and she goes you even had the same fans Oh Look at that matching to spy.

I'm surprised they weren't all wearing like at hearty. So the guys are doing like secret handshakes the entire time. I think they have like, they have like, on the flight over, they came up with a secret handshake to do, but they're still kind of trying to get it down pat because they are like trying, but they're also like missing each other's hands.

It's like, it's a work in progress and then I always take on each other a long time guys We've all lived in the same neighborhood. We all know each other so well look at these handshake. Yep We can't do the handshakes, but we do we're matching patterns so So now they all want drinks and so like half of them want four vodka so does half want four vodka pineapples and for vodka so does half want for vodka pineapples. And so this is gonna be like Margot's big moment to make cocktails, but before that, we cut to the galley where there's more strife

between Zerina and Jouaou. So Zerina's like, Jouaou, I said some hope to shit to you. It was very funny for me, but it was horrible for you. And he goes, it's fine, don't stress. I'm just a vulnerable person who's been hurt before, who opened up his heart and his self, his inner core to someone,

only to have it be spit back in his Zimbabwe face. He's like, why are you saying it that now? And she goes, because I'm thinking, and he's, oh, you're thinking, are you? And he's like, remember when I said you overthink, see a Zing, zing babwe? You just got to talk to read the zing bot. So it came to surprise that that's what you were waiting for.

Wait, what? I'll figure out what that line means, but he tells us, I just can't believe that she called me fake. I can't get past it. And I'm trying, but I just can't. I'm very unsure of how I should be a man to her. I don't want to make time for someone who thinks that I'm fake. I was like, oh God, you are acting exactly like she was accusing you of acting.

Yeah, fuck off. And he found a breadcrumb to use against her that he can get some power from. I mean, it was like a not insignificant breadcrumb, it's not nice to you. Yeah, fuck off. He found a breadcrumb to use against her that he can get some power from. I mean, it was like a not insignificant breadcrumb. It's not nice to call someone fake, but he's really, listen, if you're going around laughing like this, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're gonna get called fake.

Or you fuck over my best friend. I mean, you're gonna get a lot more than that, you fuck. So he's like, I just want to be honest. We just need to be honest. Okay, then why is she being honest? She just told you everything laid it out on the table. And that's true. That's true. Apologizing. And you're still not saying that you're mad or why you're mad or why hurt you or anything else. You're just withholding. So stop with your let's just be honest, because you never once fucking have done it on this show. And still, after all

these years, it is so nice to just resolutely say, fuck you. Yeah. So Marco, she makes the drinks, although she accidentally almost pours like the wrong thing into something. And she's like, no! But then she brings them out to everyone and the women are start talking about how they all, they're all like, yeah, we're all moms. But like, we worked in fashion before this. Yeah, we were like the, we had a, we had a fashion line called Zensations of Laguna Beach. You may have seen it before on the PCH.

Yeah, I was gonna say where it dillards because I know your ass was not designing clothes. So all of you stop. And another, another, another internet cuff love. We were all best friends and like like we're like in the same neighborhood and we have known each other since seventh grade. And then Michaela who spelled NYCHAYLA.

Her parents are just like, I want a lot of wise. Just give me a lot of wise. And then she's like, yeah, we're like the besties. Yeah, like all our kids are best friends and our husbands are best friends. We all have like, everyone's like kids or like everyone else's got daughters and God's sons and everything and just like everyone loves everyone.

And we're like the happiest group of eight people you've ever met and we've never had a fight ever in our lives. Like Margot's like, yeah, I don't buy it. I'm sorry, I I don't buy it. I'm sorry. I just don't buy it. Something doesn't work here.

No. And Makayla goes, I'm sorry, what's your name again? Margot. And the guy goes, buy Mario. Please don't. I didn't hear that. I'm pretty sorry. I heard it.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty hurt. I'm sure. Listen to me. Mar'm wrong, but I'm pretty hurt. I'm sure. Listen to my conversation. It's me, Marigo. It's me, Marigo. So Culver's like wandering around in the galley, of course. What's up, Shaffee? And so Zorina basically wants him to help out as Keith Stone, again, for dinner tonight,

even though Jason was like, don't do that. But she's like, I need all the help I can get. So he's down for it. So then we go to Melissa, crazy, crazy step for a drive with Melissa Deorebian eyes. I mean, she, who's insane, by the way, she looks insane. I just saw her on guys' grocery games

and I was like, wow, you got even crazier. So this lady, Melissa with the crazy eyes, is like, Aisha, I just need some help getting organized. And Aisha says, all right, Jamie, go down. So she goes down and she's like, yeah, I just want to get organized, clean room, clean mind. Right.

Terrifying. The way she said that and the way she's sort of like bulge her eyes and smiled unblinkingly at Jamie, I was like, this person is dangerous. And get away from her. She is and Jamie's like, oh, I love that. She's amazing. Okay, let's take out those.

Some we're gonna hang, some we're gonna steam. Okay. No, it's not fucking okay. Again, another thing, a rich person doesn't just get to walk on a boat and say, do everything. Do they? How is this even? And why am I just so furious about this now? Bring a fucking maid or an

assistant if you're that rich. Are you kidding me? No. I was getting your boning ass on the tap and yucky table. There just was something to range and scary and rigid about this woman. So she gives Jamie some stuff to steam. So Jamie goes down to the laundry room and Jamie loves it because she's like, gold, the swimmer has amazing clothes and so she's, but first she receives a selfie from Luca, the selfie they took the last episode. So I think there's sort of suggesting that maybe she's getting a little distracted by love and she's steaming. So, okay, this is actually something I would register a formal complaint with with this yacht. This is a super yacht for luxury. Why don't they have a dedicated steamer? It costs 15 dollars.

It costs a steamer. Who doesn't have a steamer? They're steaming with an iron. They're using the steam function on the iron. You can get a travel steamer, and I know this because I've been on steamer talk lately for some strange reason, because it's what TikTok has given me. But you can get a travel steamer for like $20. It's even if you pay $100, you're a luxury yacht.

Where is your steamer? I got one. I think mine was $30. It goes right in my suitcase. It is great. It's hot immediately, and the end axis, kind of an iron too. It gets so hot that you can go to iron. I mean, that link.

I would love to. It's really good. Please send that to me, because I'm really, I'm steamer curious. I used to have a steamer on tour. I started wearing button downs again. Because I did. I'm a steamer now. But I just assumed you ironed them in the, in the rooms.

But I, I used to have a steamer. It was a big old thing that had like a rod. It was like a professional steamer. It was a big old thing that had a rod. It was like a professional steamer. It was so over the top, I sent it back. But now I kind of, then in one of the places we stayed at, they didn't have an iron, they had a little steamer. And I steamed a little hand steamer on the bed. And I was like, this is wonderful.

You really want your own foundation, Ronnie? I'm gonna give it to you. I'm gonna give it to you. You're gonna love it. Okay, so she fucks up the dress basically. Yeah. Because she touches the iron to it and it immediately just like scrunches up and melts.

And it's just like a little spot of it, but still. If you can't, it was later the lady's like, oh my god, it's all dressed. But it wasn't the whole dress, but it still might as well. Yeah, we all know if we get like a small stain on anything, we're all like fuck, okay, this sucks. It sucks.

But also, why are they steaming with an iron? I can't. And also she keeps talking about like, I'm second, see I've worked so hard to be second. Shouldn't you say why are we using a fucking iron? This is not professional. Yeah, second. I mean, I get it.

The third doesn't know, but the second should be like, this is janky We need a steamer call Ronnie. Okay, so she's like oh no, so she goes to tell Mark when Asia and Asia's like that is really And Jamie's like yeah, and she wanted to wear it tonight I know it's a hot fucking dress. And then we cut to the blonde ladies, like hugging and kissing and the Chanel logo

on the glasses facing the camera, because they're that type of person. Yeah, and they're like, okay, just tell her after lunch, let her have a nice lunch. So, you know, Aisha, don't worry, it's a total accident. Don't be it up about it. So, Melissa is asking Margot, meanwhile upstairs.

She's like, so Margot, how are you? Do you love clean rooms? How old are you today? When you realize that clean room, clean mind, my right? How old? And Margot's like, I'm, I'm, she says, you look 23 and she goes, actually, everyone says that, but I'm 27 and she goes like, I'm, I'm, I'm, if she says, you look 23 and she goes, actually everyone says that, but I'm 27 and she goes,

girl, I am 30, South, I'm, so now is your turn to say, I look 23 also, okay? Now go. So you don't look that, you don't look that at all. He's one of the very, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and't be there. Uh-huh. And you, and you, and this lady. Do you want to actually say what age I look like? I've had it rhymes with, 23. Okay. Now you got to say it.

Say it. So I made four juices. See it. Which is really fun. You know what I mean? Wow. Surprisingly, talking to the iron. It's kind of my friend.

It's just pointed. It just kind of missed it. Is that Ron? Is that weird? You know, it's funny. It's I made for juices before I left for this trip because I guess it's funny. I just sort of have the energy of like a 23 year old. Do you find that also fellow 23 year old looking person? So, um, Aisha goes up and she's like, all right.

He would you guys like some wine? But the captain said, oh, Ronnie, would you like some wine? I was so touched. That is a gift. That is a gift. Good, no, I don't like wine. It makes my glance hurt. But you know what, Bravo, I took that.

And I sat with it and I've never felt so loved. Thanks. That's lovely. So after lunch, Jamie, it's time. Jamie has to like now say that. And she's really she's like this is the biggest mistake She's ever made in her yacht and career so she pulls Melissa and she's like she's like skim You know you're getting to kill me and Melissa goes what she's like, I'm so sorry So while steaming this dress so all steamer is on the iron and I was going up and down in a coat here and Melissa's like

Her eyes are bulging. You can see her like, you're just gonna imagine her pupils are looking around at the cameras, like where's the nearest camera? It's like a thief, as they're like scooping out the joint. She's like, I'm on camera, aren't I? Okay, it's fine. It's no big deal.

It, I look great in anything. I, no, no problem. I'm so happy. It don't worry about it, girl. Once you said I look great in anything. I problem. I'm so happy. It don't worry about it, girl. When she said, I look great in anything. I was like, oh, fuck off. And Jamie's like, oh my god, thank you. So Melissa goes back to the table and she's, so,

she burned my dress. But it's okay. It's okay. I'm just going to go to the bathroom real quick. I'm just going to go. And then Michaela is like, oh my god, I'm coming, or Taylor. Taylor. I'm coming with you. I'm going to come with you. I have to be everybody have to be tuned

Nobody's here. Nobody's gonna And so they go to the bathroom where these dumb dumb think that they're off mic Which of course they're not off mic you're never off fucking mic, right? So they go in there and Melissa's like she barked my dress the whole thing and I said it's no big deal And I said it's no big deal. I told her, oh my god. And Jamie was like, oh, I was so ready to get screamed out. And she was just so lovely and so nice and totally fine. I almost makes me feel worse because she's so nice.

Oh my god, she did that to your dress. Then I do not monitor to have my dress, my fucking coagaya. She goes, if that cook diet gets ruined mine, I will kill her. Both of ours, my fucking co-guyah. She goes, ah, if that coke guy gets ruined, mine, I will kill her. Both of ours, we both have coke guyah. Okay, well, she ruins my coke guyah. I'm gonna fucking kill her. If she uses, she wrote, if she does your coke guyah,

I'm gonna not kill her, but I'll let you kill her, but I will tell the cops that I don't know anything about you killing her. I hope we get to kill her. Melissa's like, but I said it's gonna be okay. It's just like, and then they're gonna be like, ehem, do you feel like the 90s people? I mean, yeah, they're gonna love us.

It's like, whoa. Whoa. Remember when, hey, remember when Michaela spilled wine on your cold guy, oh my God. And that cold guy I was ruined, yeah, your cold guy I was ruined, I fucking hate that much. I mean, we never have fights, we get along. We're the best friends ever.

We don't have to even think about the cult guy issues in our past. We love each other. I hope she dies. I'm gonna poop on her grave when she dies. We should kill her! Timing cuts. Poison, classy, women, use, poison,

cult guy, women, use point pen. Wow Taylor, that was dark. And a snap podcast. Do you think we can recruit Margot into cult guy, huh? Yes, bring her into Cult Gaia tonight. Candle it's ceremony at 12 o' 7 p.m. a.m. Margot get over here. You'll look 23. Can you steam? You're in. Have you heard of Cult Gaia? Would you like to put on a dress from Cult Gaia? Now come to the right strano. So now they're basically doing like fun times.

So they go to the beach, it's beautiful. It's like beach picnic day. Margot's super proud of herself because she's doing so good on service. And then the guests are snorkeling. And Melissa is like. And Jamie's getting frustrated because she's trying to,

she's still waiting to find out about Olaf. Like, do I have a job? Like this job is ending in two days. Am I gonna have a job after this? And Culver still's not her anything. And he does text Olaf that he gets the three blinking lights again, like responding, responding. So then Serena is like,

so I need to have a talk with Keith Stone and Asha is like, are you going to be all right and see she? Wait, wait, wait. Before Serena wants to talk to Keith Stone, another epic, epic underwater moment, a little silver fish just swimming along in the bottom of the sea. That could go wrong. And then out of nowhere, emerging from the sand, tampera, judgefish jumps out and just eats this little fish. It was like a monkfish or something like that.

It was amazing. I was like, wow, this episode has it all. I was so scared every time. That was so scary. And I did not know there were fish like that. It's like a flat fish and it hides under the sand. It burrows under there. And then it just flaps up and it's mouth flaps open

and he just like smacks it like a bean of fly trap. Like the Audrey II of fish. The ocean is scary. The ocean is fucking scary. Like it is a horror movie. Could you imagine you're Ronnie, horror movie could you imagine your Ronnie? You're just walking on the sidewalk and the sidewalk suddenly opens up and something under the sidewalk just beats you Like at that and just over like that like that is a horrific way to live your life. I mean

We're human. So Is that really a lot better? That's really not let's be interesting. I mean, there's nothing that eats us But there's car crashes fire You know lots of tragedy get on Twitter. Okay. You'll see a lot on there. It's the Wild West over there on X so She calls to wow down and he's pouting and she's like, are you all right? And he's like And

He's like can I have some sim next Good getting a little serious, but I have some zimnicks? Getting a little serious, but I'm sure I'll be fine. So, yeah, Nazarino's like feeling sad. She's like, you know, she's like, the whole season, Dread's been here for me and now he's different and I don't know if the date was a trigger, yes it was. And, you know, I opened something up,

but at the end of the day, it's getting a little bit lonely here in the Teppanyaki stand. So then we cut back to the crab. The crab that was eating the fish head is, they cut back to it, still eating the fish head. So like, real dark aquatic shit this season, on this episode. So, Culver is still texting Olaf. Margot Aisha goes, is there red wine glass on the table and Marge goes yeah glasses. Yeah, there's glasses there. It's just did I tell you that?

No, I really like that you did that stars the ride on So You really you really turn to Margo into a superstar putting wine glasses on the table for a dish. That's pretty impressive Well, Laura probably would have put out chalice is like no, it's good So I want to write one glass of fine. If this is how you do fine, you know, okay, okay? That's fine. That's not a weird This is how you do it, it's okay. So Jason is me, well, in the crew of mess, and he's talking about how he really

doesn't want Keith Stone to be part of Tepp and Yaki, and I actually kind of agree with him because it's supposed to be upscale, even though it's a ridiculous request in the first place, but it's supposed to be upscale, and he thinks it's deflection, and it's like he thinks that like Zarina wants to have a deflection off herself, but like she's got to just do it, you know? And so I would agree, but this is not a deflection. This is a training that she does not have. It's not like saying you have to do 10 courses. That's within her

job description. This is not, this is like acrobatics. So no, you are wrong on this one. And I hate saying that to you, but you've crashed into restaurants on the news. Yes, but I think he's also sized up these people and you know Melissa and Taylor and Michaela and the other one are just gonna be like It was a man dresses a wig at dinner. Like I don't get it. Oh, I think he's right about not using Culver. I think he's wrong about forcing her to do Tep and Yaki if she doesn't. Oh, yeah, well that's a thing.

He needs to hire somebody. He needs to hire. He needs to tell us. No, we don't do that or whatever. Yeah, no, I agree. I'm just saying like in the case of Keith Stone, I think he's right. This is not a Keith Stone moment.

So anyway, Zarina finds out that there will, there will be no Keystone and she's pissed. She's really pissed. And so then Jason's like, so there's going to be an onion stack, but she's like, no, but do it. Absolutely won't do it. Her like revenge is if you don't give me Keystone, I'm not going to make a tower of onions. Yeah. And he's, he says, oh, I'm not going to do it. It's not an answer on this boat. It can be done. It will be done. I'm going off the Richter scale now. I was like, oh, okay.

Over an onion volcano. You're going to fire a chef who's done literally nothing wrong all season. Over a time. She's like, I will not do a mountain of onion. I will not do an onion volcano. However, I will stack several Tomahawks. I will not do an onion volcano. However, I will stack several Tomahawks together and make a little fire on top that I can do. Yes. Oh my gosh. What a show. Well, this is super fun. Everybody, thanks so much for being here. Next week

is the season finale. Okay, it's a two hour season finale. So it's still like still going to be two episodes, probably knowing us, but we will be here. Thank you for being with us. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next time and thank you to everybody watching on video. Hi YouTube. Hi. Bye. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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