Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Down Under: You Don't Know (Kangaroo) Jack

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

It's rainy, it's windy, and it's the absolute perfect time for a beach picnic! More high jinks on Below Deck Down Under (S02E04).Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/87039311See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What happens when there's so much that crap is Who cares what What happens Hello and welcome to Watch For A Crappins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Mr. Ronnie Karam Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Hi, I'm so good babe. What's going on in your world today? Well, I was just telling you beforehand, I finally took the plunge two months behind the

rest of the world and started playing Zelda and basically my productivity has already taken a massive hit. So good luck everyone. Good luck to anyone who hears me podcasting for the next five months because, like, I'm gonna be a disaster. I am a full disaster now that Zelda has taken over my life.

So that is where I'm at today. I'm in the throes of Zelda and I couldn't be happier. What's going on with you? I'm in the throes of the video game called Real Fucking Life because now you can't just return anything, okay? You have to go, do you know how many places I had to go? Do you know how hard it is for an internet shopping addict

today on Amazon, okay? I returned to the other thing from Amazon. I just make it today. Because yeah, you got to pray, is that what you said? Yeah. Yeah, so you got to pray to make it through the damn day. Okay, let me tell you how this Amazon works now, okay? You buy stuff from there, and then when you want to return Mazon works now. Okay, you buy stuff from there and then

when you want to return it instead of just giving you the little code, you know sometimes it'll say, all we do is give you a code and then you take little code, you take a screenshot, you go into the UPS, you show them the code, they scan it, they put tape on the box, they put the label on, you're done.

Okay. You're done. Thank you. I mean, thank you, Amazon, for being such a simple, beautiful company. Okay, now let's fast forward to being such a simple, beautiful company. Okay, now what's fast forward to today? We're fuck you guys.

Why'd you switch everything? Okay, I got one code. And by the way, this is for an Amazon Kindle. Okay, one of the hard things. The code was for like some, one of those stands I bought on Amazon Day from my mic or whatever, some dumb thing. So one of those, I had to return it whole foods.

I couldn't return it at UPS, only whole foods. That's weird. Okay. The next one was a code, which was great. The Kindle I had to print a label myself. They wouldn't give me a QR code. I don't have a printer. Who has a printer besides you and your father? I know you do.

But generally, you're an odd person, okay? Yeah. I guess I've just, you know, prepared for life. That's fine. Who meets favor? A paper's ridiculous. It's a waste of life. It's a waste of trees, a waste of the world, okay?

A good person. But it is true. You shouldn't have to print something out for Amazon. Yes. Like, they made it harder for their own product, the Kindle. Okay, so I had to print a thing out. So this time I said, you know what, fuck these people? I'm not gonna do that.

I'm gonna let them send me, there's an option where you can say send me the thing. So they had to send me, I felt like so. It was sent to the return label. Yeah, it cost a dollar. I was like, fine, you can print it. They literally sent me one without sticking a sonnet. So I still had to get packing tape.

I don't do that. I was so mad. Okay, so they're going to send condolences to all the animals who died with the carbon emissions of this mailing of your label. I know how stupid I sound. Okay, but then I'm like, I care about nature now.

But then I have those pair of shoes I bought off Facebook like in Italy. You know those shoes that you can put on without having to touch them? Like they're called Kizak and you just like shove your shoe down your foot down there and they pop into your your foot pops into them and you don't have to like bend down and put your fingers into the shoe to pull them up. Oh, they're amazing for lazy people. So I bought a pair of shoes from them.

They didn't work. I had to return those. So those now they have a thing called happy returns and those are like an ultra beauty and cost plus world. The point is, by the way, I just wanna say that. Four places to return for it, come on guys. Okay, some comments, some comments, first of all, it's very clear why Amazon

wants to make it harder for you to return their products because they don't want you to return their product They want you to have the product and use it and have people see you using it. So that makes sense to me It's bullshit, but it makes sense to me Second of all, I do not like returning things to places other than the UPS store or a FedEx store Thank you. I'm not gonna return like oh here is Here's a lamp I bought I'm gonna bring it to Whole Foods where they're concerned about their fricking,

you know, dates and plums. And now they have a lamp. I don't trust them. And you know why? Because there is a company who, they are a linen company, and they are a, they're a very well-known linen company.

And I ordered some linens and they just didn't look right. So I set up a return and they said, okay, put it in the box, they put up and bring it to Walmart. They will accept the return. So I was like, great. But I put the label on it and I brought it to Walmart and I gave it to the lady.

She's like, oh yeah, yeah, I know what to do. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, this doesn't feel right. And then like a week, like two weeks later, they're like, we never got your return. Sorry, we're gonna charge you for $400 or whatever. I don't know, like it was expensive sheets. And I was like, no, you're not gonna,

like I put this in a box. I took myself not to Walmart, to Walgreens. Walgreens. And I was like, you are not gonna, like I put this in a box, I took myself not to Walmart, to Walgreens, Walgreens, and I was like, you are not gonna charge me. So they dropped the charges, they were really great. And then a month later, the box shows up at my home, and I was like, what is going on here? Because the lady, she scanned in the original barcode, or the return barcode.

She scanned in the wrong barcode, so it went all through the system. Everyone was confused, and I came all the way back to my house after all that. So that is why I do not return things outside of places that know that returns. Oh, for Christ's sake, well, you don't have a choice. So you're gonna go to every store,

and I think it's because Amazon owns maybe everywhere, because Amazon owns a whole world now, actually including us. So they own Whole Foods. Amazon, I guess that's a thing. I know. They just ran to us. So I think that that's a thing where they, you know, they just like go to Whole Foods to return your packages and maybe you'll want something organic. And you know what I did. I got some good pops. So it worked. I was like, oh my God, natural popsicles.

I love the earth. I'm going to take care of the earth because we talked about workers this week. So I'm going to take care of the earth because we talked about workers this week So yeah, I'm gonna take care of the earth and eat some good pops. They don't have any added sugar So it worked good job, Amazon. The conspiracy is complete. I've I've totally been bought yes, well I'm Talking about things that are destroying the earth. Let's talk about some super yachts, huh? Super yachts. Floating over the Great Barrier Reef,

because we are here to talk below deck down under this is on video. All this yammering is on video. Go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ends to watch the video up to a week ahead of time before it goes public on YouTube. So catch us there, everyone. And also our bonus episode. The plan is this week that we're going to do a cast

preview for Big Brother. So that'll be really fun because Big Brother is actually coming back. And last season was wonderful. But now I'm already back in space of like, oh, fuck this show. But like, that's kind of the spirit you have to have for Big Brother. So come join us for that. That's gonna be fun. We love doing that. I just spelled my myself drinking out of a can. So that's where I'm at today. Maybe you should have gotten your can from Amazon. Maybe next time David, you should get an Amazon brand-aid

liquid drinker from a cup. So glass. Oh, right. So glass, I'm here with a glass. Oh, because there's broken glass. We are recreating Annie Lennox's seminal song, Walking on Broken Glass. But in the form of sitting on a yacht, not even walking on plastic. Sitting here, broken glass, and then putting your foot on it kind of. Sitting on, sitting on broken glass. and then putting your foot on it kind of. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh down on your foot, which doesn't even make any sense, does it? And then someone has to come over and take care of your foot and you still just never

move. That's me. Fletch is probably still sitting there on that couch, just waiting for his foot to heal. Yeah. What Fletch was like you because Fletch round up apologizing to everyone and it's like, Fletch, you're the one who got injured by broken glass and the cruisin' empty too big and put like I'm gonna say to you. But Fletch was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

And they're like, stop, you don't have to keep apologizing. I'm sorry, I should not have put my foot in an area that wouldn't seem to have broken glass, but very well, could have had broken glass. That's my fault, I'm sorry, everyone. I think it's because his name is Fletch, and people always expect him to be a hero. And he's just kind of a bumbling guy who just sits near broken glass and gets cut. You know Fletch was a very important detective in the 80s played by Chevy Chase. He had very big huge blockbuster movies.

People expect a lot if your name is Fletch. You can't just show up cutting your foot on something that's barely anything to do with a glass on the floor like somewhere you might be standing up, Fletch. Fletch is also the nickname that Jessica Fletcher has from some of her best friends I hear. Another brilliant. Another brilliant. Mr. Treysolver, you know. I honestly think that if your name is Fletch, chances are you probably are the one who

is always accidentally stepping on broken glass and like knocking something over. So he was like, come on, Fletch, just get through this charter without causing mayhem. You can do this, don't be a bull in a china shop. Ah, just stepped on broken glass without doing anything. Damn, and I just totally Fletched this Fletching situation. Have you ever noticed the theme for this show? It's really like dance music with the didgeridoo. I'm sure we've talked about it.

But I have noticed that. I feel like we haven't talked about it, but it's not the usual. Ah. Ah. Like the lady standing at the elevator. Which one is that? Mm-hmm.

Well, that one right there is sailing, y'all, that you're doing. This one, they actually commissioned it from Australia's very own Cali Manogh. It is very like, and then the didgeridoo. But, the didgeridoo is very light. It's not much. Wow, wow, wow.

I feel like it's just so. No Do guy that was forced to do that. It's a very subtle Dittri Do, you know what I would love for this show and I think they should consider it moving forward. Remember how with Downton Abbey when you turn it on, I know you hate this person, I hate to bring her up, but the episode would always be preceded by Laura Lennie saying like welcome to match the theater. I think that below deck down under should be preceded by a famous Australian actor or actress every single time.

Like Nicole Kidman. In fact, it could be exclusively Nicole Kidman. You're saying, hey, Larry and welcome back to another series of below deck down under on this episode. You're going to see some Ryan and a Parade and you'll also see some of Australia's wonderful natural beauty Enjoy, I feel like it can't be Nicole Kidman because she's already de-classed herself by appearing in that thing in the movies That thing when you go to the movies and she's like here we are in the films. Yeah, we know Yeah, when I saw Barbie this weekend after Nicole Nicole Kim and did her thing, people applauded.

People like, yeah, it's Nicole. It's her greatest role in 20 years, let's be honest. The Pable of the Meevays. Here we are, watching films. Yeah, no shit, Nicole. I just want Nicole to be everywhere that's obvious, like standing there telling, here you are at a Whole Foods trying to return shoes that you don't ever have to touch with your hands

the broccoli the red leaf lettuce The ability to make returns So violent drama because flch is apologizing. You think it's over here? And it's just like, come on, take crew. If the tank team obviously didn't do the rounds right now, we need to pull out all the stops today, because that's definitely not a long-term experience. Now, by the way, Ronnie, I don't think that Adam ever got reprimanded for not washing down the deck, right?

There was not a single reprimand. And this guy who's so obsessed with safety with literally every single thing just leaves broken glass under a table. Yeah, because he's too good to clean. I mean, how many times does he set it? It's like, I'm trained. I'm trained better than this. I'm a cargo ship person. I don't clean.

Yeah. So, Margot's vacuuming around the table to get the, any glass that's there. And Asha is getting ready. There's gonna be a beach lunch. There's allegedly a beach lunch that's gonna be happening. Asha's gonna go for that. And so then Jason calls up Luke to the wheelhouse.

And he's like, excuse me Jason. His name is Captain, T.O. Sir. Okay, go ahead, Karen. Captain Jason. Captain Jason. I rock, race, important being. The majesty. He's like, Luke, he's like, Luke, Luke, Luke, meet me in the wheelhouse of this 1977 fishing

troller that's been converted into a CPU. Hello, I'm Nicole Kidman, Captain Nicole. I just like to welcome you up to the wheelhouse and I'd like to let you know this is an expedition ship from Nights. We know Nicole Kidman, I'm telling you obvious things and places. We get it, okay, we get it. I would I would love, why is Nicole Kidman not on the show, by the way, in some form? I just, she should be. Nicole Kidman at some point, I think, just went, you know what? I need to pay my mortgage.

Fuck this. I'm setting standards to the side. She's literally in a new show, I think, on Paramount Plus. There's something, you know, Taylor Hath, Kraft Hackford has taken over the Paramount network with like Yellowstone and 1883 and 4 and 6 and 9 and Governor of Tulsa, whatever it's called. And so there's a new one out called Mayor of Tulsa,

what Mayor called Mayor King's Town, Mayor of Tulsa. But then there's a new one out with like Zoe Saldaana, and it's like, I've heard the commercials in the radio, and it's like, this is gonna be our biggest target since Osama Bin Laden, because she's like military, she's gonna take down a terrorist, but Nicole Kidman's her boss, I think. And I'm like, the cold kidman's doing one of these shows now? Wow.

I mean, it's always Helen Mirren, so I really shouldn't be surprised, but it's just, you know, Nicole Kidman's going for that paycheck. Oh, yeah. You know, hey, gotta pay the mortgage. The mortgage. There's a beeping. Yeah.

Do you hear that? Is that what? Is that what he hears at Nick? We have a large audience today. I apologize to the audience. I'm on one. I don't know, there's a thing. It's okay. It's Nicole the audience. I'm on one. I know there's a good guy. It's

Okay, it's Nicole Kidman be like hello Do you mind if I come into your home and tell everyone about the beauty in the majesty? Of Monica and my 1877 expedition boat, which we're currently on okay So the captain captain Jason's I've respect is like so Luke What's happening with that tinder and looks like well with I was kind of you know I already read your mind which is what I'm here so it's how I kind of forgot there's all those little things like the soft check all so that's all my fault my fault brother and first of all not your brother second of all is something strong with you literally every day and your sexual harasser you need

to be fired already. But you think? Yeah, I'm not loving this. Although in this case, it actually wasn't necessarily his fault. He was covering for Adam because Adam is just like, one of those people who talks like they know what they're doing and they actually have no idea what they're doing. But yeah, Luke, though, still seems to be, I was, he's still in the disaster area.

I'm down, you know, fire him. I don't know, I'm like an even like, like put any thought in his fire, I'm getting rid of him. Make it clear. Yeah, it shouldn't be that hard. So then we see a clip of the captain saying, get the tinder ready and then I'm going, okay,

and then we cut back. And the captain's like, did you see that clip? It's your fault and it's your responsibility. And looks like, oh yeah, I know. Hey, you've got an eyelash on your eye. He's like, if you kiss me, I'm gonna rip your tongue out of my mouth with my teeth. All right, brother, get out of here.

Gotta have to say, by the way, love Shackle Drama. You know, that was some, I love a good shackle flashback and they really gave us one right there. Some Shackle Drama and this Tinder, like they just can't hold the Tinder, they don't, I don't know, there's like just drag it. No, to put it away. Stop dragging your toys behind you, to put the Tinder away. Like the fishing, this old boat seems to have, like the only thing that it seems to have room for is like, basically extra tenders and like water choices. So, if you have a tender garage in your boat, put it in there.

Why keep doing it around? That's what it's, although we do see what happens when they do try to put that poor tender away because there's a crane apparently to take it all the way to the top that almost murders people every time. So, maybe that's why. Yeah. Maybe they're just trying to save lives, who knows. There's definitely like a, a grim reaper in training.

It's like final destination ish. It's like a lot of things seem to be like almost about to kill people, but like daddy, grim reaper's like, okay son, you got to really like stick this landing now. I gave you a hook. You got to drop it on someone's head, okay? Try it again now with Harry. I want to be a grim reaper. I

Want to be that one I buy if I have a choice. I want to be a grim reaper. I just want to show up and be like Times up stupid time to go crane to the head No, you know annoying that would be because no so many people would when you're like taking them to the underworld You have to have like so much awkward conversation with them. No, like so. How's it going? It's like, well, no, I mean, I was supposed to go get some kale. I was gonna go to Whole Foods and return this microphone

I bought, but I got this car accident, so. Sure, can you just send me back? I just really need to make sure that return, because you know what's gonna happen is, Peter's not gonna know why the microphone hasn't been returned. No, I think it's amazing small talk though, because it's not just normal small.

You could be like, so you remember all those times that people said, look both ways before you crowds a street. Ha! Not just to cliche stupid. You literally got hit by a cart. Do you feel stupid by getting hit? Because you got hit. If I were to do you feel dumb but then let's talk about it. Spock through the street with your phone.

Well, your phone right out. Walk right out of the street. I mean, the grim, I'll tell you one thing, you know who's gonna have, you know what's grim reapers gonna have a great assignment. The one who someday comes for Nicole Kidman. And it's like, she like arrives. She arrives in like in the afterlife is we come

to this place for magic. We come to the afterlife to let to cry to care. Here we are. We need all that in purgatory. They're like we fucking know Nicole. Okay, you don't need We work here. Um. commercials. Here comes one right now. So Aisha is telling the guests about the beach picnic. The slide is ready. Aisha is now on the galley talking to Margot. They're ironing tablecloths.

And they're talking about the menu. Okay, because it's going to be this beach picnic. So Serena is like, Steak and Lopes does about the menu. Okay, because it's gonna be the speech picnic. So Serena's like, steak and lobster's on the grill, pasta salad, goat cheese, bruschetta, strawberries. And Asia, of course. You are in the galley.

Nicole Kidman's on the screen now. We come to the galley for magic, for food, for entertaining, for br Zeta, with strawberries on it. Which you probably never heard of before today. Thanks, Nicole. So Serena's super excited.

This is too much for a beach picnic. Too much. It's just too much. Nobody wants a grilled Tomahawk at a picnic. This is just not picnic food. Google picnic. This is not picnic food. Google picnic. This is not, okay. No, no, this is not picnic food.

Okay, okay. I, you know, they all want the Tomahawk on their preference sheet. So serve the Tomahawk for, why was Tomahawk not served last night? What did they, I don't remember, you remember what they had last night, but I remember that it looked kind of like silly.

It was like, we remember we, oh, it was like they had like the duck, the duck and the buns and everything. I just think like if it's you're doing beach picnic, you wanna do, okay, brachete is, that's okay, maybe barada, but you wanna do like light, lovely stuff. Also like, you don't wanna get, bring Tom Hock to a place that's all sand, you know?

Those are good ingredients, you don't want to risk everything getting sand on it, especially when it's raining. Yeah, I don't trust her beach picnic planning. Didn't like it. No. So then Aisha and Laura are talking and it's time for a little Latvian undermining. Tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt t I feel like we could come up with something like, like, Riga.

I'm gonna work on it. I mean, seriously, like come up with it. I don't care. I'll be the one. I'll be the one. You know what Nicole could say? Oh, he'll know. He'll be like, here we are.

At Lott V&N undermining. She labels things as they are. You see, listen to Nicole. Doesn't need to always be some clever catchy thing. Lott Viennundamining, that's what it is. So watch it. It's just fun. You know, you know what it is. My 600 pounds life, you know what it is. You're not, you're not turning it on, expecting a mystery. You know what I mean? That's true. That's what it is. We love it. True. I guess.

True. So, um, yeah, so here it is. The big underlining of today is that well, the first of many of as usual. Okay. But this one was good. This is the best because it's just such pure manipulation. And Asia totally falls for it. Yeah. She's like, oh, uh, can not, Asia's like, oh, so when I go to the picnic, can have you can take your break up here in the boat and she's like Oh, but can I have my break with you at the picnic and I go on beach and not be with you and age just like But we really don't need to do that I really want to go to beach. Beach needs someone who understands eyes.

No, she's doing a little baby voice. And she tells us in her baby voice, she's like, I really want to go to beach picnic because I know I can do good job. I wouldn't trust Asia as much as I trust myself with beach setup. So if we need to go to good beach setup, I do it me

She's really excited about this beach thing. I think she's just like I think she wants to be friends with the with the rich kids I think she just wants to be I think she wants to Talented lady Ripley herself into this. I think she just wants to get the fuck off the boat. She's like, I've washed my hair four times today. When do I get off the boat? I'm in prison. Okay, I've changed my outfit seven times since I woke up this morning.

Please let me off the boat. So, now people are going down the slide. I feel like one of the girls farted on her way down the slide. I could be wrong. Or at least they gave her like a very subtle fart sound effect. Which is why I felt like it was. They love that. Because this is the straight guy show on Bravo. So they put little fart noises in things. Yeah. And now Jason is like, he's getting upset because there's thunder and there's visible rain on the horizon. You know, we can, you like literally can see the rain clouds coming in

and it's an hour and 40 minutes until the beach picnic. So Jason is like, you know, he knows there'll be no, there's no chance there'll be a picnic. So he goes and tells the gas, he's like, well everyone, so there's, there looks like that's some bad weather. So what we can do either the picnic on the beach or here on the boat.

And the girl's like, where did Jack say? And she's basically like, well, he's right behind you, one is him. And so there's Jack, the Australian Timothy Shalamere of the boat. He's like, I'm ready for the beach. And so the captain's like, all right, we're gonna go to the beach. So if there's rain, we're just gonna deal with it because that's what captains do. It's my job to make him hippy.

So we're gonna have fun. Rainer shine. And then he radios. We're coming to the beach, no matter what. So we see these huge Tomahawk's down in the galley and sereness like, I don't know, Dave, going, but I won't have time to do these now, what am I supposed to do? And he's these now, what am I supposed to do?

And he's just like, what am I supposed to do? And he's just like, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? And so he comes down, he's like, with we have Tom, we can set up. And she's like, but I can't do this.

I have Tom Hock's day, so I need 40 minutes to cook and 10 minutes to rest. He's like, oh, I can do it. I'm kept in Jason. I'll do it in the front. She's like, I always need saving from you. I love saving you. Many runs with Tomahawk steaks and throws them on a Captain Foreman grill extra large in the front of the boat and saves the day. Yeah, so I love I love that these like big beautiful pieces of steak are just being put

into basically a Foreman grill. Yeah, it was that right? And she's like, but she's like, this Tomahawk steaks, I don't have Tomah, I need to cook for 40 minutes, rest for 10, but for the preference sheets, say, Tomahawk, Tomahawk, Tomahawk. She's like, so three then. No, four, but complaints work best in three. So Tomahawk, Tomahawk, Tomahawk.

We've got a cookie, cookie, cookie. So you want me to cook three Tomahawk steak? Now four, complaining, I'm complaining in three, so you need to cook three come on safe now for complaining I'm complaining in three So you need to cook them in fours Commities and three's and five's complaining's in two's and fools so By the way Why is it taking 40 minutes to cook the Tomahawks?

Why doesn't it's like eating half of the cow at the same time? By the way? 40 minutes seems way too long. I never cooked your Tomahawk, so I don't know. I mean, I feel like she probably wants to do that. This thing is my head, man. It's my head with the stick in it. It's what it looks like.

Like a Tomahawk. I still think you probably do 12 minutes per side given the exercise. And you're set, you're fine. It'll be no big time. 12 minutes per side, man. It's like a small dog. The Tomahawk is like, I've seen you eat a Tomahawk

that time, I know how big Benah. 13 minutes. 13 minutes, I'll give it an extra minute. Okay. So, like a big piece of steak, a big piece of steak would be eight minutes per side. Okay, so I think 12 minutes per side is significant. And I, final judgment for me is 12 minutes per side is significant and I final

final judgment for me is 12 minutes. Okay. And you know what, don't take my word for it. For it, technical kidman's word for it. We come to the Tom Hock's thicc for magic, for flavor, full mommy. So Ace says Matt talked in the Margot and she sees her in laundry and she's like,

Oh, thank you so much for the long-dream sweet child of mine. And she's like, you're welcome, mother. How do I banter this? So then, yeah, we see J.A.S. around this boat goes, fill fire real fast. I'm'm gonna tell you that right now. I don't know how to yes and the sweet child the mine thing I thought I can either go guns and roses or I could just go mother, which is kind of my go to for any banter I guess. So Jason, we see Jason doing the Tom Hawkson

that's little electric grills. I was like, no. And then Laura's like, I love decorating beach lunch. I love it so much. And she's like, oh, well, if you really want to come, you can come with me Laura. She's really, oh, oh, I get to go to beach.

No only thing is I wanted you to have a break because then there's the set up for the mech-nose dinner tonight. I wanted you to be a coming with fun and she's like I do not need break I'm energized after you give me beach permission I have so much energy I dance I got to beach I dance watch out the beach can can coming now could you please go a provisional and get me anything goes costume thank you so he's just like okay cool let's just don't take too long to Now could you please call Provisioner and get me anything goes costume. Thank you. So Aisha is like, okay, cool.

Just don't take too long to get changed. So, now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that-

Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that-

Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- Now that- to the underworld. You literally just cut off my ass and you're telling me to fuck off. That's great. That's called punching down. Yeah. Narcissism, you're the victim. Sure. Go ahead. I'll cry to the dead small dog on a stick next to me. You guys call it Tomahawk. So they're setting up on the beach. And by the way, also, I really don't understand why there wasn't enough time to pivot away from some of this stuff. Like, you know, I'm not even gonna bother with this. So, there's setting this beach, the storm is coming in. And it's like miserable. I don't understand why Captain Jason didn't just manage the situation and say to the guests, looks like there's going to be

a storm, it's going to be dangerous, the siff is really dangerous. Even if it doesn't rain, it'll be very dangerous for you to bring the tent to in and out of the, like just come up with a lie, because it just knows this is such a bad idea. He needs to Captain Sandy that shit. We're Captain Sandy's like, guys, the weather's bad. I'm gonna watch Netflix for the next 12 hours.

Don't leave the boat, or he's swear to guys, someone's gonna get it, okay. Yeah, because this is crazy. Like she does that all the time, or when she's like, guys, it's real tight parking today. So we're just gonna park in the middle of the ocean and then we'll have a tenter take the gas back because I don't want to park today, okay?

So everybody have fun. You know, I get that she maybe does that too much, but Captain Jason's like, oh, all right, everything for the guests. No, some people need to be told no. And Jack is one of them because they literally have to go put the tent into the sand, which guys, we all know that sand doesn't hold shit, okay? And you put, you put a good luck to buy, by the way, I don't know why that popped into my head, whole city built on sand. How's that going to work out? So anyway, they

put their poles into the sand. and then the tent's flying everywhere and trying to come out of the ground and they have to literally stand there and hold it. It's very dangerous, very dangerous stuff. It's just stupid. It's a stupid idea and it's gonna be rushed. And the guy Jack, he actually seems like a relatively nice person, but he does have that rich kid,

lack of awareness of just everything around him. He's like, hmm, I have a whim that I want to go to a beach. So let's like make everyone do everything to make sure I get my whim serviced and then we'll be there for a little bit. We're gonna have expensive ingredients thrown at us on what plates cause of the rain. And then we're gonna go back.

I just as one of those things where it's like, okay, you're someone who doesn't understand the world and the way the world works. And I said that as someone who also doesn't understand the way the world works, but I can see up a low deck works. And we literally think that it's gonna stop for him. He's like, yeah, we're just gonna go and they go

and they're like, oh my God, it's raining. And then they go eat and then he's like, oh my God, the plates are wet. Yeah, dumbass because they told you you literally saw a wall of storm coming at you. Okay. By the way, I also wanna say, Yeah, dumbass, because they told you you literally saw a wall of storm coming at you, okay? By the way, I also want to say, if we ever wind up going on below deck, Ronnie, do what the last thing I want to do is a beach picnic, and it's not to be nice to the crew,

I have zero interest in picnicking on a beach. Now if you say let's go to the beach and we'll set up a little cocktail situation, that's fine. But like, if it's rainy, like, if it's gloomy and rainy, what is the purpose of sitting on a beach? The beach is for lovely sun and, you know, and frolicing in the sun and going in the waves. But if it's rainy and gloomy and you're just sitting there in a tent, getting spritzed on from the rain, and what is the upside there? This person is an idiot. Yeah, I feel like the beach is where you secretly eat and like you watch thin people and you're like, I'm trying to enjoy myself,

hate being in a bathing suit, really hate being outside, hate sand, but here I am, I guess I'll slowly eat these M&Ms that are melting in my pocket and that feels good because it's like, oh, look at me. Like I'm secretly eating M&Ms in front of all these thin people and the speedos, you know, it's like, fuck you guy.

It's like a secret rebellion. But openly eating? No, I wouldn't do that. I also just don't like, you know, the table is not like, it's not flat. It's sort of like at an angle and then you're at an angle, but at a different angle and you're churrosy, he and to me. And like, nothing about that seems appealing. So, you know, everyone who's involved with the beach picnic, anyone who has a beach picnic agenda,

stop it. They're all terrible. They're all terrible stuff people. I would rather like, pickmick with self hatred. That's how I like to pickmick. I like to pickmick like, really insecurely and self-having way. That's how I enjoy him.

So, you don't vote. You don't vote, you don't vote. So, no girls really. So, Jack's like, fuck those guys, we're't vote. You don't vote. So no girls. So Jack's like, fuck those guys. We're going to be eight. So they leave the girls. And then the tender has to bring the girls. And so the girls like, oh my god, it's framing.

They're like, yeah. You guys wanted to go on the boat, even though it's raining. And one girl's just holding like a towel on her head, which by the way, doesn't like it's not going to protect you from a lot of proof. So she's holding it over and she has, this isn't it. Really?

Well, maybe you should just, I'll say just stand in the boat. I would've stayed in the boat. I'm like, have fun on your picnic. I'm gonna have hot pockets on the boat. I don't care. I'll eat in the crew mess. They're all just stupid.

So I like how my opinion has gone from, you know, Jack seems like a nice guy. He's just sheltered and privileged now but like they're all stupid assholes. So now, uh, and Aisha can't even contain her laughter and how ridiculous this is because she's like, would you like some bruschetta with boss Sonic on your wet plate? Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He won't ever forget this long for you! So then, then they served the Tomahawk, which just looks fucking ridiculous, right? This wet Tomahawk. So then we cut to Luke going to the laundry where Margo is, and he's like,

Hey, well, yeah, you bloody sexy thing. And then he leaves. Good, how are you? You know, just think, okay, he's gone. He's gone. And then so Harry flails right there And he's like, hey, what's happening? Oh

You know, I'm just ironing just thinking about how weird it was that I called my superior mother, you know things like that Okay, why It's like, okay, bye. I mean, wow the chemistry there, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh are literally, like you said, there's wind blowing and Adam is holding that tent down. And so it's Arena. Arena, the chef is holding the tent for you right now and he's the one who's tired. Mm-hmm.

So then Margot is getting ready for the guest to come back so she's filling champagne glasses and she's like, don't rush it, Marge, don't rush it. And the captain's like, look, I head, knock down. She goes, oh my God, that's good advice, Marge. Don't rush it. And the captain's like, look ahead, knock down. She goes, oh my God, that's good advice. Good advice. Oh God, where am I going? Are there any stars?

Is that good advice? I mean, maybe if Captain Jason looked down, he wouldn't have crashed the boat into a marina. Yeah, don't listen to the guy who's crashed into a restaurant. You know what I mean? Look away from where you're going, and that's how you'll get there. But that also is kind of standard carrying advice.

Like if you have a tray of drinks, don't like stir the drinks, you know, because you do that and then you're like, oh my god, that one's falling. Oh my god, now that one's falling. Oh god, my God. You know, I've heard the old, old margin monologue in my head many times.

I'm gonna say, how did you do it? Well, this your technique. Well, have you seen my hands first of all? They're huge. Like everybody, take a good look at these suckers. Come there, bigger than a ham. Okay, I've got ham hands. So I am a tray.

I just would hold a flat and I could, if I feel it, my fingers are pretty good at moving. I've dropped a couple of food trays on people. You know the ones you hold over your head. Oh, I don't know how people do that. Like I, I mean, I'm not feeling to be that. Don't have a great track record with that. A lot of people covered in food my day.

I never understand what we're doing. It's just doing hold the tray with both hands. Like here you go. As you're doing everything wobbles and it just looks terrible holding a big huge tray. You have to hold the big ones with like eight dishes or whatever you hold those over your head to get them through the restaurant.

And fortunately, I don't have upper body strength. I never have. I've never really been a fan of using arms. So sorry. Yeah, I don't know. It's amazing. So yeah, so a margin, she makes it. Margot, I should say.

So then Adam, Adam is like carrying a bunch of chairs and cooler on his head to show up that he could multitask with things. And he goes, no different than Brooklyn. No, he goes, built different in Brooklyn because he's just like, Jesus, look at you. Yeah, built different in Brooklyn. Literally not built the same. He went to humans, okay, we're all humans. Oh, it's like I lived in Brooklyn and do not remember

people walking around with ice chests on their heads. Maybe it was like a different era. It's like congratulations, sir. You figured out how to put things on your arms. So like, I was a PA. I was a PA here in Los Angeles. I did the whole draping things on my arms too. Okay, congratulations.

So now everyone's like back on the boat and they're folding up to slide and everything out. And then Adam, of course, is doing that thing where he doesn't know what's going on so he compensates by barking out orders that he's not entitled to bark out. So like as they're pulling up to slide, Adam's like, okay, what's going on?

What's going on? Slue out, slew out, slew out, and looks like slew clockwalks, slew clockwalks, and I'm like, I don't know what that means. I don't know what the slew is all about, but I know it's gotta go clockwise. And it's weird that I, like it's, I don't wanna defend loot,

but I just know it's not what Adam's saying. I don't really know either. I was like, slew sounds like a slur. So first of all, who are you calling a slew? Will you better watch your fucking goddamn mouth start? And then, yeah, he's just yelling about the hook. Like he is obsessed about the hook I will say he's correct about the hook. I mean, what the hell? They're just like swinging this giant hook from the third story or whatever you call it That's just swinging around almost hitting people in the head constantly and no one cares Adam's like this hook is gonna hit I get that he's being like god damn it this fucking hook everyone around me stupid

Y'all it the dude upstairs. What's his name? What are their names the guys we never see? Oh? Vlad Vlad and Vlad yeah Deema Vlad and David yeah Because they're the ones just trying to murder all of you so they can get a place on the show They're like I would like to fuck one one person from show They're like no, you're not a cast member of lad you can't do it, but I want to know Vlad But I'm going to I'm going to show you how to manipulate they're like we already have one we already have a manipulator Okay, no Vlad. He's like I will kill I will kill with dry and hook

That hook really is swinging around So Adam's like whoa whoa whoa does a hook right above your head Harry does a hook oh my god whoa Whoa whoa whoa whoa and Harry's like it's all good is fine I say it and Adam's like yeah, man, you know whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And Harry's like, this whole good is fine, I say it. And Adam's like, yeah, man, you know, this shit doesn't happen, that's what happened. This is outrageous. Cause I kinda get to feel like everyone kind of sees the hook except for Adam.

And so Adam's the one who's surprised that then he assumes everyone else is surprised, but everyone's like, we have hook awareness. It should be like waiting tables though. You should go hook. Corner. Corner. It's the corner of hooks, of boats.

It's the corner of boats. You should always get a hook. Listen, when you're on a yacht, hooking ain't anything surprising. So, okay, so Luke is basically having Harry and Adam fold up the slide. And Adam's just being, and now Adam is like

micromanaging the way it's being rolled up and furled up. And he's just being, he's just like, I just Adam drives me absolutely nuts. Yeah, he does. Stupid people are really bossy. I've learned that. Like people who don't understand things are very bossy about everything to make you believe

that they understand things, but it just makes it more obvious that they don't understand things are very bossy about everything to make you believe that they understand things, but just makes it more obvious that they don't understand things, you know. Yeah. So, Asian. I'm taking a big swig of caffeine because all the caffeine just left me right now and I was like, I hear words coming out of my mouth about a slide, but I have no idea what I'm saying anymore. You know why?

Because we're talking about nothing for literally 41 minutes except Amazon delivery people. I started the day like that. I kept been on the phone for 30 minutes before we even started this, talking about charges. I was like, is this charge makes sense to you? Does that charge make sense to you? When would I have ever spent this money on this thing? Okay, so Aisha and Laura are decorating.

And Aisha's like, there's a girl in the honeyborn. And Laura's like hot, sweaty, hot. I take shower and wash my hair, yes. And Aisha's like, Really? She goes, how much time do I have? She's like, well, it's 4.20 now, but to the sink, so we have to get right to dinner, huh?

So that's an hour and 40 minutes. Hour and 40 minutes. That's a lot for some minutes. Hour and 40 minutes, they don't want to break. That's a lot for some minutes. For some minutes they don't want to break. That's a lot. For someone who's ultimately gonna be putting their hair into basically like a little bun or ponytail behind, okay, right?

Or what I don't know. Right? So then Laura's like, yes, my hair is dirty. So then now there's like more cleaning. Lots of cleanings happening on the boat. And now it's closing it on six and Laura's in this sort of like black and white stripey thing. I guess it's what she wears. It's like her it's her post shower thing that she wears and She's like how do you work what had dry out? I just plug this in how do you do this and it's just like I don't really know

Can you change it to your blacks? We only got like five or six minutes left. Laura's like, yes, but hair very important. Very about be ready in five minutes. But then of course she goes in and just starts, you know, doing her hair for like 20 minutes. Yeah. And it's just like Laura getting ready as a fucking nightmare. We're not going to a fucking ball, girl. And Laura tells us, oh, I know I don't need break,

but my hair is very messy. I like to look good and to feel good. For myself, I tend to get what I want. And with Asha, it's easy. Don't love this. Don't love the girl. I did, I thought it was so funny. I think I'm like totally too more, right now. I think she is hilarious.

I love that she's being such an underwinter as such an asshole, but getting away with it. Like, it's, she's, cause she's being nice too. She's doing it just enough to get away with. I'm impressed, I have to say. Well, it's just funny, cause Aisha started the season saying, I'm back in this season. no one's gonna walk all over me. And now it's like, Laura, be like,

two-mindify and three hours to cut my nails. Okay, I suppose. And I'm going to be like, welcome. She was lying down with a welcome written all over her to walk. Right the fuck over her. Just brush your feet on me. So Aisha is radiating for help with the Mika No's decor for the party as Laura's still doing her hair.

And Marco's like, wow, Laura really takes a long time, huh? Wow. So Adam comes into the mess and he's all upset. And it's Harry and Luke in there too. So he's like, Luke, bro, no one's calling out crane movements. You know what I'm saying? Like we're holding the slide, the hook just starts coming down, no warning.

I mean, come on. And he's like, yeah. And he's like, yeah, and also the hook when we're doing the slide, like Harry, how's it possible for a crane to be that close to someone's head? People could have got fired for that shade. Like, you know what I mean? Like I've just never seen safety be so, so disregarded like that.

Like, you don't know how to swim, sir. Nothing you say holds water because you came on to about not knowing how to swim. So please don't lecture people about safety, especially your superior, who even though your superior is shitty, it's still like this is, this is for someone who's all about rules and regulations, you're certainly being rude with the hierarchy. And then he just storms away, just like that. He just comes in, parades his boss and then goes away.

So Luke is like, I like Aiden, but he's not the safety officer on this boat because we don't have safety on this boat. That's his problem. He's a techie and he's the one causing all his drama and distractions for no reason. So then we go back and Laura's still doing her hair and Asha is getting is so annoyed.

And so Laura finally decides she's finished. So she's like, ready already. Oh, Esha Laura Esha Laura. Tut tut tut tut tut tut. I'm going to bring up decoration now. And Asha's like, we've done that already Laura for crying out loud. And she tells us, thanks Laura. I mean, she didn't want to break and that's fine, but if she asked me to wash her hair again, that's going to be a different story. I might have to do it for her.

I'm going to do her hair. I don't know if she wants me to braid it for her. I love Laura. I wonder if she wants me to braid it for our love Laura. If she asks me to do her hair one more time, I'm gonna say to her, you absolutely cannot do anything but do that. Please do your hair as long as you want. I'll show her. So then Zarina is talking about working, she's excited to making Greek food for tonight. And she's like, I love Greek, I love working with Greek food with all the meats.

It's so rich and dense and salty. The palette is alive. And she wants them to feel like they're going to be in Greece. And then Asia is like sitting with Culver. And she's gonna, she's telling him that she's gonna spray him with like gold body paint and put and give him like a little gold halo because he's gonna be a Greek god who's gonna be gold at the Golden Greek god. He's like, yeah, he's like the king of Scorpios or something and so they, there's a club,

they say there's a club in Mekino's called Scorpios, that's like a really big club. And so they're going to try to recreate that on this yacht by putting up like a Greek flag somewhere. So they want a piñata made of chocolate for this and they couldn't find one because this poor provisioner, they just call this provisioner for everything. And the provisioner also could find the last minute was a giant hollow egg stuffed with things. Well, it's actually, I have to hand it to this provisioner. That's pretty good. Where do you find the stuff to follow egg? The stuffed with candy.

It must have been near Easter when they filmed this, like this must have been around April or March or something, because I don't know how you find that. Also, our chocolate pinata is a thing that seems like it doesn't even make sense. I mean, you need something that's sturdy and like, I feel like you can only bring that into certain, like, it's like you can play with a pinata in the morning or in the evening, but you can't do like an afternoon party with a

chocolate pinata. But that's so these people. It's gonna get me up in yada. I can smash then I'll melt all over everything and everyone will remember that time that that jerk came on a bow and had a pinata. And what does a pinata have to do with mecanos, by the way? What is, I don't understand the request of these people. I don't know. I can't understand these people. I think it's just one of those things where people like I can do whatever I want.

I'm gonna check with pinyada. So, this is not great. Yeah, so Luke is like, I've got no idea with the ache, what we all do some sort of chanting like it's an important ritual. So we'll go, whoo, whoo, ha, ha, hey, hey, ha, ha. I'm like, okay, well that really does not have anything to do with Greek culture. And I feel like this is going to wind up making me feel very uncomfortable if we see this

through. Yeah, if I knew what culture to be offended for, I would be offended. Fortunately for you, I don't. This sort of umbrella, indigenous, tribal thing that they're doing, I was like, it feels sort of like vaguely offensive to like lots of different people all at once, but I was like, okay, well, let's just see how this goes. So welcome to Grignite. So the guests arrive and Margot's checking the dryer and she's like, where are they're

crumting here? Oh, it's sand, not crumbs. Thank God. I love the little Margot scene. I love the little Margot scene. All I need are Margot scenes walking around the boat, talking to herself. She's like, what is that, a nice maker? God, Margot sure is.

That thing makes ice incredible. Wow, what a wonderful world we live in. I'm obsessed with Margot. She's like my favorite. So now it's time for Colbert to be transformed into a great God from Maryland. Oh wow, I hope my mom can see this. And Laura's like, oh wow, you are very real tall.

And she sprays him with gold. And she's like, I wow, you are very rape tool. And she sprays him with gold. And she's like, I've been spraying people with gold for 15 years back in Spain. I have store where I spray people gold. I have lots of experience with it. So the guests are eating and Jack's like, this is really helping my hangover. I have like 48 hour hangovers. And then the girls are clearing and now is the cinnamon lamb. And Serena presents it. She's like, this is cinnamon lamb. My friend's mom taught me how to

do. And I stayed with him one time. I was like, you need to maybe come up with a better story. Yes. You need to watch some more food in that work. I need like, I learned this it. The cord on. And you like work on the presentation, it was like bowls of brownness, which they all loved, I'm sure it was delicious, but it was really rustic. I mean, I know there's like rustic meals, it's like that high low thing,

but this was like bowl of brown. Like this is kind of her thing, that she serves as brown. She also sells it. She does. Yeah. So then Culver comes and does the egg ceremony, like this is kind of her thing that she serves. She also brags around. She does. Yeah. So then Culver comes and does the egg ceremony.

They all do their hoo-hoo-ha-thing. And then he crushes the egg. Okay, and this jack, okay. They get this huge wooden pounder thing. It looks like a dough roller. What do you call this? A rolling pin. Looks heavy.

It's fucking hot. And of course, they should like jerks it off before they use it. And then he brings it out. And then he just starts beating the crap out of the chocolate. Yeah. Smashing the table, the actual fine dining table, sir. This is an expedition ship.

How dare you? Nicole Kidman's like, this is an expedition dining room where we don't get tables with large sticks. Sir, we come to this place for magic and you're actually beating the magic out of this place. We have to ask you to stomp. Like, yeah, I was like, uh, sir, uh, do you understand Pinyata's? Do you understand what's going on? Okay, the first whack, okay, I can understand if you're surprised by the weight of the thing

or whatever or that like a broke open so easily, but then he went in for like four more thwacks on the table and the chart, it already, it's already open. Once the pinata's open, you don't have to beat it anymore and he's just like hitting it like a little child. He is as it turns out, the kid you invite over who breaks your choice, who would have thought, but that's what he is.

Yeah. Um, he's also got some rage issues. Like, finally I get to beat somebody up, you know? And like, maybe he had weight problems as a child or something. So he's like, mad at chocolate. He's like, oh, yeah, you've tortured me my whole life. Now you're going to get it at the Scorpio party. The My Dad's paying for.

I think just beats it too hard. And you're like, whoa, this could have, paying for. I think just beats it too hard. You're like, whoa. I'm just gonna, it just went from a bar fight into a felony. Like, what are you doing to that poor egg, sir? And his friend is like, oh my God, I'm going to make a meme out of that

and put it on TikTok. Like, please let the meme be about awful people on Yachts because that's what this is. Yeah, I hope all the comments on that were like, what a fucking asshole. Who waste chocolate like that's what this is. Yeah, I hope all the comments on that were like, what a fucking asshole who waste chocolate like that? Yes, seriously. Then Adam and Harry are talking about girls and Harry's like, is anyone gonna kiss anyone tonight?

Woo! And Adam's like, I'm not kiss you bro. You should tell Mongo that she's got the most beautiful eyes you ever seen. You feel like you got hit in the head with a crane every time you look at it. Because you will be hit in bed with the crane beautiful eyes you've ever seen. You feel like you got hit in the head with a crane every time you look at it. Because you will be hit in the head with the crane. No one this fucking boat.

Yeah, you might think you got hot in your eyes, but it's actually just a concussion you got from a hook falling in your head from a flat, flat, and flat. God, the sati on this boat is terrible. So then Harry's like, well, it's very obvious that Luke has a layup on me in his manga situation because they've already kissed. I was like, yes, and he's also your boss. So I'd say literally two legs, two legs over you.

He's like, I'm jealous. Maybe I've missed my chance. Maybe I wasn't quick enough. I was like, or maybe you're just too quirky even from our go. That's, I think it's so unfair. It's two below decks in a row that the boss is the one like hooking up with everybody. So their underlings can't hook up. That's, I think it's so unfair. It's two below decks in the row that the boss is the one like hooking up with everybody so their underlings can't hook up.

It's gross. Like that, you're doing it on purpose now. I feel it, I've said that for a long time about this show. I feel like they, they cast sexual assaulters on purpose or like really misogynistic people on purpose because they know it causes friction. It's not good. Like you get one every once in a while, I get it. You know, that's just life, right? It's just all mean as humanity. But every season,

come on. Well, the cynic in me says it's not that they go out of the way to cast these people. It's just like this is the way most men are. That's the cynic in me saying that. But literally the same, the same exact plot two times a row. It's just, I don't know, there's too many coincidences on this show. And then they go too far and they're like, well, well, well, guys, okay, we had a misogynist chef, a misogynist chief,

or not chief stew, lead deckam, boason or whatever, and two misogynist deckeys. Let's just, let's get a female chef this time. And then let's just have two misogynists in the cast. They're like, oh my God, that'll totally fix everything. Twitter's gonna be way nicer to us. Also, by the way, can we get like more than one gay person on a boat at a time?

If, I mean, we don't even, we haven't even had a gay person since Frazier, but like, we get them once in a while, but can we have like two gay people with the hopes that maybe they might also hook up? Because, you know, we're watching a lot of straight romance happening on these things. Can we see some gay romance happening? But that is live, isn't it?

Going to work and being the only gay guy. Like, welcome to our lives, okay? Welcome. Especially on Bravo, where they are low to have ever have more than one gay person on a show at a time. Except for Southern hospitality, Southern hospitality broke them old. Well, I feel like last time we except for Southern hospitality, Southern hospitality broke the mold. Well, I feel like last time we asked for a gaze,

they gave us Kyle. So I'm not gonna... I'm rescinding that request. So Harry feels, yeah, okay. So then Adam and Luke, let's see. Luke is talking about safety. Okay, so Luke pulls Adam aside and it's like, bro, I understand the safety thing I understand I really do

But maybe don't do that sort of thing in front of the boys, you know could just say to me Bro, this is fucking annoying. You know what I'm saying and he's like, yo Yeah, I didn't even think about that no problem brother no problem You know, I'll tell you that you're being unsafe and putting our lives at risk and private next time. That's cool Yeah, you know, I'm sorry, you know, I'm sorry I brought up from the boys, you know, I just it was I had a feeling of urgency, you know, I grew up watching Kangaroo Jack and my values are like, Kangaroo Jack himself, when you see something wrong, you gotta say something, you know, so next time I know not to do that. Is that a Kangaroo Jack

thing? No, I just have to imagine there's probably that's probably one of the lessons like Jack. I've learned it. Before I said you free in the wild. I just wanted to say thank you because before I knew about you I didn't speak up but now I speak up. Got speed Jack. And then Jack bounces off into the outback. So blue. I imagine the movie always goes. I just figure it's like a kangaroo named Jack that just can't do anything right. And ends up in New York City somehow. And then he has to get home What's the kangaroo supposed to do right? like

Kangaroo Jack this is not how you write a resume Like every movie plot. I just was I knew how to write a resume every movie here on the dream Hey, Jane Guess what kangaroo Jack Kangaroo Jack crashed the ball though every movie hero's dream. Hey Jane, guess what? Kangaroo Jack, Kangaroo Jack crashed the ball though. He can't do anything right. I can't even pull right. Oh Kangaroo Jack.

Kangaroo Jack, this is a latte I asked for a cold brew. You can't do anything right, can you? I can't believe they didn't take me into their ballet company. Maybe if I just keep trying. I'm sorry, Kangaroo Jack. We asked for a grand jete and you gave us arabesque. You can't do anything right and it's clear. Wow, what are they called this kid?

Kangaroo hack? Ah! The brown man. I wish I could go back to Australia, but I don't remember the way. I just wish I could eat the things that kangaroos naturally eat, even though I don't even know what those are. I can't even feed myself for it. Kangaroo Jack, see something.

See something. So, the only thing he's good at apparently is reported terrorism which by the way brings us all the way back to guess who Can Grigiac didn't know how to do ballet or bowl. It's like a thanks Nicole Kidman You're literally seeing things and then saying exactly what you're seeing Nicole Kidman always should have stood against terrorism. She should have always been the right See something say something something. For example, right now, we're in the films. And I'm saying something. I'm literally saying something,

and I'm saying something. She's like literal. Okay, so it's been Harry and Margot sitting in the literal. She's literally literally literal, just so you know. She's literally literally literal just so you know. How have we not been fired? Okay. I don't know. I don't know, but you know what I have to say. I love this version of Kangaroo Jack that we can't do anything right. But then you see it's a day because he reports terrorism.

Listen, sag's on strike. I think we should get our asses in there and pitch that. I know. That's a time. I think we should get our asses in there and pitch that. I know, that's the time. We have no competition. We will scab to get our kangaroo jack. We could go in the gays. Kangaroo scabs.

Okay, so then Harry and Margot are doing some weird flirting. And he's like, Knollmago, hollmago, hollmago, hollmago. But his mouth is full and he's like flailing and laughing as goopy laugh at the same time. And she's trying to think he's cute, but you just, she does that like cringe smile thing with him and it's sad.

And he's like, can we do 545 or coffee day? Don't miss it. Ho, ho, ho. And she's like, you kidding me? Did a, does a baked potato miss cheese? And he's like, you kidding me? Did a does a baked potato miss cheese? And he's like, is that an America reference? It's not a reference from New York City. She's like, the answer is no, just you know for no time.

No, I mean, that took a little of your sex appeal away, but I always have cheese on a baked potato. Listen, well anyway, I'll see you tomorrow for our coffee date, mother, oh, God. It's like I really uncorked the mother thing now. Can't really stop. Feels awkward. Oh, so they cut to Aisha in bed eating ramen and moaning. She's eating ramen and going. Literally sounds like the Titanic when everything was breaking right this has started to tip over

we shouldn't have let kangaroo jack run the Titanic just that one moment of silence so everyone comes running out of the yacht rooms. Like, are we going down? Is it happening? It's like, no, it's just A-she eating spaghetti. Mmm, so very happy. So Adam and Laura are in the mess and he's like preparing her a little dinner from leftovers

and stuff. And he's trying to get to know her. So he's like, where do you live? And he's like, I don't live anywhere. For years, I live with my boyfriend. And now I don't have boyfriend. So I don't have, please, Trilip. I'm not proud of that, but I'm not live anywhere. For years, I live with my boyfriend and now I don't have boyfriend. So I don't have history. I'm not proud of that, but I'm not key anywhere. So for me, job on yacht, not so complicated.

Yes. You know, I do spend time in movie theater because I came to this place for magic. We come to the AMC theater to love, to cry, because we need all of that. We need all of us. You're just doing Nicole Kidman right now. Yes, I am Nicole Kidman. Surprise. So where do you learn Nicole Kidman? I'm Nicole Kidman. Yes, far and away. I'm Nicole Kidman who is far and away right now. No key. No key in the call. That's what they call me, no kidding the call. I really do think she's trying to find someone to be like, oh, come stay with me. Like, I'm not like, she's like, she's like, her couch. She's like, totally couch surfing.

She is couch surfing and working out of y'all at the same time. Yeah, well, hey, that's really great. I love it. So, she's like, I live nowhere. I, and he goes, you don't have nowhere to go home to? She goes, No, I don't live at a place. I live two places. I live two. Darns! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, can't just can't can't, I didn't know where, right? The safety, God damn.

She's like, sorry, my favorite movie is Mulan Rouge. Oh really, did I say that I guess someone say Mulan Rouge? It's funny. I came to Mulan Rouge for the magic to laugh, to cry, to can't dance. So he doesn't say anything about her story of being cute. And so she's like, So, you are your thing anyone?

And he's like, Oh, you women are incredible, but I ain't gonna get like in a relationship, okay? Because you know why? I give my feelings hurt. And that's why I keep everybody, you know, at a distance. Know what I mean? And she's like,

Oh, how are you going to learn? And he's like, learn what? Learn shit. To swim. I can tell you don't know how to swim by the pain in your voice. Sorry, you're just going to dog paddle for life then. God damn it. Is it that obvious? By the way, I'm getting, I'm just getting sick of the whole thing of like, no, I'm afraid of getting hurt.

I'm sick of this. Don't like, I'm sick of the bravado of like, yeah, I'll throw myself in this, I'll throw myself in any situation. Although, actually, I take it all back. He is actually very concerned about safety. So he is literally afraid of getting hurt. So I take it all back.

He won't learn to swim. So no, he's not afraid of getting hurt. You're literally in the middle of the ocean for your job and you don't know how to swim. Like I can't say it enough. I just can't believe it, you know? I firmly believe in life that if you take a job, a maritime job, and then refuse to learn how to swim,

you don't earn the right to have emotional boundaries. You're not allowed to have emotional walls. You're not allowed to have emotional walls. You're not allowed to. I'm sorry, you can either be vulnerable and not swim, or you can swim and then have emotional walls up. But you can't have both if you work out a yacht. I've decided this is my new theory. Okay, but you can have emotional walls and then take them down and then put them back up

if you work in Mary time Law because that's where we are Mary Hey girl Never gonna try it again. Oh my god. I love you. I'm so in love with you. Call me. Why are you calling me? I hate people. I'm never dating again Fuck the guy hold foods Well, I was doing my return. I fuck the return I said I'll return for this

so You know always he was returning Not my virginity Yes, Mary, I must have been another episode of Mary time long Wow in another episode of Mary Time Law. Wow, that's really, when I went on a journey there, not to be confused with Mary Time Law, who keeps Mary Time Law.

Okay, so that Whole Foods, that Whole Foods employees not have been having sex with the person begin the return, that'll teach them never to hire Kangaroo Jack again. in the return. That'll teach them never to hire Kangaroo Jack again. Ha ha ha ha. Oh. Ha ha ha.

So Laura's like, Adam and Luke are both very sexy. As many lovers all over the world, I was with my fiance for five years and it left me heartbroken, but I set out my ring. Mm-hmm. And I guess she's put it on a different finger. She says like her opposite finger.

And so she asked him if he's happy and he's like, yeah, I got my family. I was like, oh my God, show me where the hook hit you. You're too young to be this traumatized. You're trying. Not my family. He just feels like a cliche, like a cliche from some movie of like, like some young adult novel that was adapted into a movie, Nicholas Sparks. And he's like, yeah, I'm closed off. I only care about my family, but I don't know if Chloe Grace Moretz came along, I think I'd fall in love because she could open me up. It's her name, right? Chloe Grace Moretz.

I'm watching that shit. Okay, sit down in the morning. I hate his movie. Nicholas Sparks, I think I did read some, is he the Fault in our Stars guy, I read that one. Probably. It was actually kind of cute. Fault in our hooks. Can I just say welcome back to the five headfish?

Because they show it again, man. I just love that dumb fish who won't leave the shallow water. Love him. Okay. Oh, I think I met a fish that had five heads, near the top of the Napoleon fish, right? Yeah, with the giant forehead. He's just like dumb.

The dumb fish in the water. Scallop is like, oh my god. They said they're gonna be out of town for the weekend and Jesse crashed the party five head over there. Hey, who invited five head? That's, I guess, Mary time long. Girl. Mary time long is a slut.

I love her. So then it's a morning. Harry and Margot were having their coffee day. It's so awkward to me. I mean, I just think the whole thing's really awkward. Cool. But this recycled footage, by the way. Yes, I used the same scene as last week.

Guys, you're not only showing us two episodes in a night, you're repeating shit from last episode and pretending it's new. I know. Well, it was like, am I crazy? Like, we literally saw the same exact thing. Where Harry again said, when Marco said, oh, well, you know, this could be our new ritual. And he goes, it is.

Like, is the ritual, is part of the ritual declaring that it's gonna be a new ritual? And then he says it is, is it like a meta ritual? It was super weird because they started, I thought different, or maybe with stuff that was cut out before, but he's saying, I'm so excited for this, I didn't sleep, and then we're gonna get to go out tonight too.

And she's like, yeah, this time we're not gonna get shit faced, just kidding. We are gonna get shit faced. And then she's like, I love coffee dates. I didn't know that till Harry. And then they cheers. And then it just cuts too. It would be great if this is our new ritual,

who's like it is. Look, that's like a re-admiration. It's not part of it. Like is that their thing? Like it's a ritual to say, wow, this should be our new ritual. And then he says it is. Also I kind of felt bad for Harry when she said,

you know, I love this, it's inescient. There's no ulterior motive, it's just coffee. It's not like he's trying to learn me in and Try to plan a kiss on me later on, you know, it's just like coffee with a very platonic friend So 7 a.m. A.C.A. Gets you know as I go to the gas she goes when would you like break fist and one of the girls goes now ASAP Okay Fletcher's like oh, I I got a chocolate chart in my foot.

Sorry, did anyone clean these floors last night? I got an M one, being that from one of those M and M, stuck on my doll, really, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it really hurt. So then Zarina's making ex-benedicts for the crew, which is very nice, And Culver's like, oh, hey, have you heard of a Dutch baby? I'll show you pictures.

Ablehole album of them has an album of Dutch baby photos, which honestly, I kind of respect. Well, it's his moms. Culver's got this weird thing with his mom. I forgot this one. He's a lot of that mom. Yeah, I mean, it's called Love Your Mom and Everything. But his is like too much. It's not called. Yeah, I mean, it's called Love Your Mom and Everything. But his is like too much.

It's weird. He has a whole photo album full of her Dutch babies. Which is just an odd thing to be in love with that your mom makes. And Chef Kim, yeah, that's my mom. She's just great. I mean, she's like, what's crazy? She's like a corporate powerhouse.

She's like, has into government contracting, but she cooks on the side of the COVID. She got her degree, our culinary degree, and now she teaches. I guess what? She makes Dutch babies. I take photos them every day. I'm like, Chef Kim, give me another Dutch baby

before my album. I need more Dutch baby content, bring it forward. Chef Kim, mom. Oh my God. Wow. She called me down over there, Equisim. I need more Dutch baby content bringing forward shift keep mom Calm it down over there at Quis Sorry, at Quis is the guy who's from up at the horse. What's the one with where you have like an endless Looks like that Dutch babies and love with his Dutch mother. She also rides horses. Okay, let's bring that in. So I could still use that quest. Oh no, kangaroo, Jack, you prepared your lines for Equis

and we're doing chis. You can't do anything right. You're in love with the wrong mother, holes. Yeah. Asia is suddenly the director of this off-runner production. Sorry, we just want to be able to use your services, Kangaroo Jack. You know what they should call him Kangaroo Lack. Alright, that's a good side character.

I know you're not one. Kangaroo Lack, you've got the job. So now drama music. Springline, Sl, my man. You're a lack, you've got the job. So now drama music, spring lines, lacking boat. How long is this week? A home on the week. Let me fast forward here and see how long. We still got five pages of notes left. Alright, speed it up, let's take that.

Wait, you missed the part where Cole over called holiday sauce, holiday sauce. So anyway, actually, it's, it actually, there's not too much left because now they are docking, lots of docking drama, amazingly they docked without Captain Jason saying, it's gonna be pretty difficult on basically, drawing an antique, I've got one prop on this 1977 Japanese

fishing boat that they refurbished into an expedition yacht, adventure. Well, he can only go off of that, had difficulty to dock this boat when he's like parallel parking between nothing and nothing. Like, this is literally the easiest parking I've ever seen on the show. And I don't know that that's his fault, really. Like, what he wanted to pick out more difficult parking space

if he doesn't have to, but I kind of do. That's part of it. I need to think the boat is about to crash. At all times. Yeah. So they line up, the crew lines up, a Harry standing between Margot and Laura and he goes, well, unlike the thorn between two roses.

And Margot goes, yes. Hmm. Ah. One of the big, I just got a strange sensation of sadness all over my body. I don't know how to. Wow, I just got prepped with the egg. It's crazy. So, tip-meeting, first, Charter 2 is done.

First and foremost, cool work. Good to have you back. I'll see you all fun. Everyone's great. A lot of improvement, Shephy. You did a great job, but you need to get out of your head a little bit. All right, now, we're all here as a team to help Anybody need help with Tomahawks. You let me know just please if you've got four Tomahawks Don't say Tomahawk Tomahawk Tomahawk because that's three Tomahawk. I was complaining in groups of three

Is the point of it. All right. Well, you get the stupid disco hat Call the I'm gonna need you to take that photo of a Dutch baby out of my face I'm trying to conduct it. I think, oh, thank you very much. I was wondering what the fuck you were doing with that thing. Well, I thought I was about to jump in and I didn't want to interrupt, so then I just had my visual, visual comedy ready to game. I thought you were taking a shot of the screen. Now, while I was doing a visual presentation of Culver. Wow, you really can't reach that one up. Certainly, dude.

Can't reject actually wrote the joke so that explains everything. You know what they should call you kangaroo whack. All right, then, all right. We already have kangaroo Lack, he's gone right for views for a full-way vision of cheese. So, the thing that gets the stupid person disco hat and she's like the shift gave me something shiny which is amazing. If we could get that on a ring, that would be great. So, now Laura, like at the end of the meeting, Laura does this thing where she's like bends over the coffee table up to Asian gets,

Oh, my chiefs too, I need her advice, oh, I'm going Laura, I'm asking to get more time to get ready today so you know at the last second I'm not like, oh no, I'm not ready, you know what I'm saying, could I, I'm pretty pleased, little more time for her. And it's just like, I can't just let you leave work, I need. And she's like, but just 45 minutes. Like, no, I don't think that everyone else has to take on the issue that you take two hours to get ready. Even yesterday, we comforted your work, didn't we?

The ball is asked to leave 45 minutes early. I thought you'd be like five minutes early at 45 minutes. No girl So Aisha's like she's like, you know, I know with Laura if you give her an inch. She doesn't take a mile she takes her journey and She's like can't you just like get ready sooner? And Laura's like, no. She's like these sounds. She walks off all mad. So now working, cleaning, everyone's excited

to go out the moon rises, and Margot and Laura and their cabin, and Margot's like, girl, if there's anything I can do to help, you know, I know you take a little longer to get ready. So just tell me what you need from me. And I was like, I don't want to be out in evening feeding uncomfortable. Oh poor Laura. Here's what you do.

Shave her hair off. Okay. And then it's like for me done. It's done. Yeah. Ready and two. So now, so the dinner reservation is at 630 at this place at Hemingway's, which at this point,

we don't know that it's just like a beer hall, so who cares, but I think it's like a nice place. So dinner reservation is at 630. It's like a little rat. It's like, you know, ex-pat. But basically everyone's waiting, now at 630, now at 635, 650, at 708. And it's just, it's so obnoxious.

I don't know why they don't leave without her. If I were, I'd be like, you know what? Just leave. Cause she's playing a game now also, I believe. Not only is she taking a long time, but she's also punishing Asha for not giving her the extra time so she's gonna show. Like, if you wanna give me the extra time,

you're gonna have to wait for me because I'm not changing my shit. So they just leave her behind and let her just sit on the yacht alone. I mean, she's literally cutting her own hair. Okay, they cut to her, cutting her hair in the bathroom. Like, come on. Yeah.

She's doing that thing where, you know, it's like a typical, it's very easy pop psychology. You make people wait to make yourself more important. And, you know, also I think more beautiful because they're like, oh my God, she takes all of them to get ready. She's such a hot girl, you know? Yeah, but it's not just, and the restaurants like texting they're like, oh my God, she takes so long to get better. She's such a hot girl, you know? Yeah, but it's not just,

and the restaurants like Texan be like, are you coming to our restaurant? We still have the table for you. You know, like there are delayed an hour. But also, the restaurant, you need to be less desperate because you, it was empty. Hemingways is being a pick me restaurant right now, right?

They're like, are you coming? Do you wanna come? I mean, are you coming? We're Hemingways is being a pick me restaurant right now, right? They're like, um, are you coming? Do you wanna come? I mean, are you coming? We're Hemingways. You said you were gonna come. So, I mean, most restaurants, like a really nice restaurant would just be like, you lost your reservation stupid.

Like what is this Applebee? You had 10 minutes. I'm buzzing you while you're at the fucking, you know, arcade max door. No, it probably was that the host this was done with her shift, but she wanted to be on TV. And I was like, um, like how much longer I dropped away here because my shift was over.

So they get to this place. And it's just a, it's just a beer hall. It's just, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, basically a pub or whatever. It's like a big, big old place. They're ordering food at him. This fuckface, he's like, um, could I get a bacon egg and cheese? Uh, we saw a pepper and ketchup and she's like, um, sorry. We, that's

not on the menu or on the stands. What the fuck is he doing? Order just randomly ordering an exam, which is a place that serves like pizza. Yeah, he's going to be perfect for Laura. That's like the perfect entitled attitude. Yeah, you know what I want? A pizza with an egg on it and a hamburger bun on fried rice. I'm like, uh, yeah.

No, no, we don't do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no cooks. He likes her because his mom cooks and she cooks, which is weird. He's like, you know, I like the chef, right? I'm like, okay, you're creeping me out a little, Cover. I'm not gonna lie. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know how to make a Dutch baby?

So then you want my mom to show us on FaceTime together tonight. It's like Crubble Cook, off-colder. Chef Kim. So then Harry is like feeding Margot some food or something. They're just being silly. They're just giggling in the corner and looting in the lid.

She's getting in the lid. He can't fit the food in her mouth. So he's just like shoving a piece of meat that's too big and she's trying to like be nice about it, but it's just flally and terrible and cringy. Yeah, so Luke's watching this and he's like, here in Mago, like two 14 year olds on their face diet, it's hard to watch.

I'm like, yeah, but like you're kind of have the subtlety of a 13 year old, so I don't know. So then your sides and so I don't know. So then, you're right. You're right, since I would rather watch. You know, someone innocent, then someone like a salty, sir. Exactly. So then he, since Margot is like, dating to talk to a different man,

and like Margot clearly is no interesting Harry, but like since Margot happens to be talking, Luke then tells Laura to come sit over by him. So it puts all his attention into Luke. And then Laura's like, oh, can I sit here? May I sit on you? I want to sit on your lap. Oh, I don't have a lap at home.

I have no home. Could you be my home now? Thank you. Yeah, so she sits on his lap and he goes, can you feel it? I guess meaning is leaner. But also, right before this, Adam was about to do a shot. So he was pouring salt, you know,

the thing where you put some lime and some salt on your hand and then you lick it, but she licks his hand. She's like, oh, I didn't notice that. Trying to be a... Yeah, she's like trying to flirt with Adam. And he's like, whatever, you know, like he ignores her. He's like, he got to warn me when you're gonna lick. I mean, Jesus Christ, safety.

You're like a fucking face cream coming at my hand. Yo, now I gotta wash my hands because you know, you're, I got your germs on my hand. That's just not safe anymore. I gotta go now. So, yeah, so then she goes to sit on, because he's ignoring her.

So they're both like doing revenge flirting where Margot's flirting with somebody else. And so he's gonna flirt with somebody else. And then Adam was flirting, not flirting with anybody, but not flirting with her, so she's gonna like flirting in front of Adam. So it's just all sad flirting, basically. So then Margot looks upset because now she's Mount Lora sitting on Luke's lap and he's loving it.

And Lora goes, we are just friends, right? And he's like, friends fuck. And then they kiss. And Laura's like, oh, we appreciate each other. No. Yeah. He's like, oh, you just kicked me in the nuts. Sorry, involuntary can can.

So then, Asia is, then like there's like a weird mama where Asia is like daring Margot to stick her tongue into Harry's ear and they're like, no thanks. And Luke and Laura are very close to each other and looks like, you know, this girl's got some crazy twinkle in her eye. You don't know if she's gonna absolutely love you, absolutely to the bear with you.

And I'm a little bit scared of her, but Laura's giving me that attention that I'm not getting from Margot, which I'm like, ugh, I hate that. I hate that so much. Like,, but Laura's giving me that attention that I'm not getting from Mago, which I'm like, ugh, I hate that. I hate that so much. Like, well, she's giving me attention. Like even though I really like this other person for like 20 minutes, she was talking to someone else, so therefore I'm just going to move on to it.

It was the part of the entire season of the last below dexhaling that just finished. Can we not? It's the same thing. It's like, um, he didn't mend meant anything to me. I found someone else before. And then Gary was, she's not paying attention to me. So I guess I'd be daisy. And it's like the same fucking thing. So Harry and Aisha are now dancing and Harry, you know, who got blessed. I'm, like he can sense something. He goes, he says, Mark of off me. And she's like, what?

Sean said anything to me. He's like, what? She's acting off of me. I've been very full of her. And he's wasted. And she's like, Harry, someone has to be on you first to be off of you. Yeah. It's like a thing. Like,oulair, you know that? Just don't try me. So then Laura's asking Luke, like who he's feeling and looks like, what, you don't feel it, but why you know us? She goes, hey, little bit. And she goes, oh yeah, we're out here to have fun,

you know, all right? So then she just starts kissing him. So they're just like making out. And of course, we're keeping his eyes open thing and staring at her real close up. I don't like. Ooh. And so, Margot's watching.

And she's like, well, I can't believe the girl with the gold crown is making out with him. It's like watching mother making out with mother. God, stop calling people mother. God, stop doing that. Oh, so he's another fuck boy, huh? Yes, Margot. Yes. What? Shocker. And she's another fuck boy, huh? Yes, Margot. Yes, like shocker.

And she's like giving me all this attention and then taking it away and giving it to someone else. Of course, I'm a little bit like, what the heck? But that's human nature, right? To feel a little bit jealous. And then she just goes, ew. Ah! Screams.

And that's the end of the episode. Will there stored romance ever get back on track? We'll have to wait to find out until, well, I won't even say next week, just a few more minutes on Bravo because it was a double header. But for us, we'll have the next recap up, I don't know, I don't remember what day is today,

but after this one, some other time. Just like 9-B, 3-Gaps this week. Just come along, jump on whatever you guys feel like. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Check your feed, subscribe, and they'll be in the part two will be not even part, I'm done. I'm done. You have to say bye.

Just say bye, everyone. Bye, everyone needs it. Bye. I guess I'll press end to say bye. To say bye. Bye everyone. No one needs it. Bye. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I guess I'll press end to this episode. Bye everyone. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?

What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? Nicholas, she don't miss no trickle-us. Hava Nagilo Weber Jamie, she has no last name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Kristen the Piston Anderson.

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