Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Drowning in Kick Sand

Episode Date: February 5, 2020

Below Deck crescendos the blatant misogyny of season seven when Kevin kicks sand in Kate's face. Pure class, that one. For this week's bonus episode recorded on our road trip through Texas, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. *** Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Birmingham, NOLA, Lawrence KS, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! The Bay Area Betches! Betches! You're the Wyndham beneath our wings, Joe Wyndham. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela! It's rules! Oops, she did it again, it's Britney Montana.

Aaron McNickolas! She don't miss no trickle-ists. HavaNigilaWeber! Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. He makes us squee, it's Richie D. Jamie, she has no last name. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobeloni. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. One day your Rachel's in, and the next day you're out.

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Lisa Wallet, now that's what I call wall entainment. Higher than high res, it's Lauren Perez. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the bird. Just saying, okay. Christy Wawardy-Dowardy. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low.

Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson. And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Mina Kuchikuchi! She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie. Let's take off with Tamala Plane. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey.

Yes, we should with Carrie Bridgewood. Lordus, the Lordus of the Rings. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Give them hell, Miss Noel! Kelly Stump, the Stump Master! Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva!

No one can do it like Andrea do it! Yes, we can! With Howley, Carolyn, and Ann! Somebody get us ten CCs of Betsy M.D! Nancy C. C. C. C. C. We love you guys! It's for when people run around and kiss one. I think it's like this so much that that is. Hello, welcome to Watch What Corappans. A podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on eel,

bros. I'm Ronny Karram. Hi, everybody. Hi. Here I am with Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. Hi, Ben. Hi, how are you? Good. How's it going, baby? Oh, you know, just how are you? Good, how's it going, baby? Oh, you know, just living that paper straw life,

sipping some coffee out of a paper straw. Are you trying to enjoy the straw while it lasts? Well, it's either enjoy that paper straw or lose your teeth to yellow, yellow cow. Yeah, exactly. Well, it's more like either use the paper straw or, you know, make all the listeners listen to me slurp for an hour. No one wants that.

Well, I'll do that, but it's just on my spit. So everyone, welcome to the show today. Very big dates below deck day. And then after this, we're going to do below deck sailing yacht on another podcast. And then doing our live shows, we're going to Birmingham this week to do the summer house premiere. And then we're going to Birmingham this week to do the summer house premiere and then we're going to be in Nola the next night doing real housewives of New Jersey. Those are going to be really fun shows. Come out and check them out. You can get tickets at WatchupCrapins.com and you can find all of our cities listed at that website. For the rest of the year, we're going to be going really strong until the middle of summer. So go get your tickets.

Also our Patreon bonus this week is when we were traveling through Texas in the car together. So that's a really fun road trip. That's great. Passing cows and sea brisks. We saw some sea brisks. I have my little buckies.

Is it a buckies beaver? Is it a beaver or not? It's a beaver. It's a beaver. I have my little buckies beaver that I bought. Whoa, I'm alliterating a lot right now. But I bought a Bucky's beaver in Texas and I love him.

Yeah, so here all about it over on the bonus episodes. Also, crap and it's on demand. As you use our video recaps, we do at least one a week. You can go find those. Everything is over on patreon.com. Also, I do a podcast called Rosepricks. I didn't even say it today. It's a bachelor's show.

Go listen to it. And what do you think of getting into this finale now, being in? Wow. Let's dive right into some below deck. Oh my gosh. I'm ready. Season finale. And wow.

I mean, a season of misogyny ends with literal assaults. So that was fine. Yes. It's all with sand with literal assault. So that was fine. That's what was sand. Sand assault. Sand assault. It just gets worse and worse and worse. I am so ready to see these guys get roasted next week

on the reunion. Um, yeah, we're just the worst ones. Andy won't do it because they're guys. And Andy's gonna do his usual thing. I'm like, Oh, you sorry for all you sorry? All right. I don't even,

I'm not even convinced Andy watches below deck. He's also gonna do that thing where he's gonna say, all right, all right. Well, Katen Rally, you've had what you said, but now we're gonna give them a platform. Come on, give them a platform. They haven't gotten a chance to speak yet. He does that for the guys all the time.

Yeah, and then they're not gonna apologize for anything. And like Ashton said, when he was on Watch Your Happens Live, and Andy said, hey, are you gonna go to therapy? Have you thought of going to therapy? Actually, it was a reader who's, or a viewer who said that. And Ashton's like, well, you know, Andy, he's always thought therapy begins with yourself. So I'm doing my best to work on,

like no, that's not doing your best. Working on yourself. Give me a fucking mic. I mean, I do, I'm doing my best to work on, like, no, that's not doing your best. Working on yourself. Give me a fucking mic. I mean, I do. I'm a fucking mess. My question is this, who between the guys, excluding Captain Lee, who do you think is the biggest misogynist of the group? Kevin.

Kevin, I agree. Originally, I was thinking Ashton, but I actually think Kevin has real anger issues towards women I think that that ashton is more just standards societal Massage and he makes with whatever shit that he's going through. I mean for sure that it's more like It's more like Kevin is misogynistic and ashton is Mail entitled if that makes sense. Ashen has that misogyny where he wants to look at everybody like a meat puppet. But he's a stripper so he's also used to being a meat puppet. Which doesn't make it okay. He's still a blatant misogynist I'm just think Kevin is worse because Kevin has an obvious horrible horrid problem working

Astronauts a horrible problem working with women and that he's either trying to fuck them or fight with them Yeah, I would be sending. Yes. Yeah, he's like Kevin has a seeding anger at that really just Yeah, Kevin is like someone you'd expect to be on the internet, on like 4chan, talking some spreading memes about women and how they ruined our lives and how like, you know, when you're a talented chef like, oh I am and women don't understand it, fuck women, that's like that kind of, it's like more of a real vile vibe I get from him. Yeah. And yeah, okay. Agreed.

Just a lot of touch bays. No, touch bays before we launch it. Should I go on some more about who's the biggest misogynist and then I thought, you know, you have about eight pages of notes. Ronnie, to go through this. Yeah, well plenty of time. Plenty of time to do this. Anyway, so it's appropriate enough that the episode begins with Kevin bringing that giant dick out, that dick cake out for the guests, which by the way, was actually a pretty great looking cake. I mean, yes, it was a giant dildo,

essentially, of a cake, but as those cakes go, it was very impressive. I mean, it had height to it. It looks very realistic except for that weird pink pubic hair. So it was a cake that he should have been proud of. Yeah, they lost me at that weird pink hair that's edible. And I can't believe Noah's told us what that is because someone was eating it. I know. Maybe it's like some cotton candy type thing that he learned.

I really wish we got some more explanation on that. Yeah. So he's bringing in the big dick cake and Jamal has gone to bed early and Kate didn't tell him. It's Jamal, right? Jamal. Oh, Jamal. Yeah. Damn it.

I wrote down how to pronounce it and I still pronounced it wrong because last week, I think I was saying Jamal and you were saying Jamil. And look, it's in the middle. Oh, so I'm glad that we were able to. I I was saying Jamil and you were saying Jamil and look it's in the middle Oh, so I'm glad that we're feeling I was probably saying Jamil well, I remember the first week I was like Jamul or I was like totally off and then last week I don't know what I said last week, but yeah, you were in Jamil last week But I was like, you know, and I'm not I'm not gonna be the typical band and be like hang around It's really sad like this, but now this week, I'm like, all right. You were saying Jamil.

I was saying Jamil. Well, Jamil, Shlamallo. Hey, I think it's Jamil. I think we've finally after some weeks Jamil. I think it's Jamil. Because the captain's saying Jamil, and no one's correcting him. Maybe he's the captain.

The, you know, at the mystery, we'll just have to continue for many, many weeks. Well, if it makes you feel better, someone called me Randall today. And I just have to go with it. I said, no, my name is Randall. Like, what the fuck do I care? It's a crazy name.

And then he was like, okay Randall, and just kept calling me Randall. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna do the same thing to Jamal tonight. I'm below deck. Well, let me tell you something. My barber who I've had for like two and a half years, she suddenly started calling me Steve

any yesterday. And I was like, what the fuck? She was like, oh hey, Steven, at first, it's like, okay, I'll let that slide. And then she kept on saying, it's like, would you want the same thing, Steven? I'm like, why is she calling me Steven? And at the end, she goes, well, I have a good one.

I'll see you next time, Steven. I go, I was like, okay, cool. By the way, it's Ben. She goes, oh, yeah. Like, what? It's been two years. He's like, hi, cool. By the way, it's Ben. She goes, oh yeah. Like, what? It's been two years. He's like, hi, guess what your name is. I don't care.

How about that? I was rebranded. Yeah. Oh, I was rebranded. You were rebended. I was turned into Steven, yep. So the cake has just come out and Kate didn't warn Kevin, which is the big drama.

So Kevin, everyone's looking at him like he's so awkward because they were just talking about charity. Oh, it's got good to do charity. I'm not going to stop it in my life or I might as well be goddamn dead. How about that? Yeah. And so Kevin's out there, he brings out the cake with a star sparkler and then he looks like he has that look like you probably have many times when he disappointed his father and Kate just like pounces she's just loving it and she just goes, Kevin would you like to present your dessert? Would you like to do that right now? To people who are visibly shocked by it? Do you want to present

it? Well I'm not eating that I can tell you that right goddamn now. So I'm having a lot. What's the big deal me can't be the first time that someone's been underwhelmed when Kevin's brought out his penis. Yeah. So then Kevin is like mortified and he goes back into the gap. I was expecting by the way Ronnie. I was expecting this was the cliffhanger from last week. I was expecting that then starting this episode. Everyone was going to be like, oh my god, that's amazing. We want it. You know, it was going to be like a big fake out, but they really were like, whoa, okay, this is awkward. I was like, whoo. Which on their part is kind of a dick move because they know they requested a dick cake. Why is nobody at that table admitting that they requested a dick cake? I agree. They did request one. I still don't understand why this is even a controversy. Or did Jamel slash Jamel slash Jamel,

did she, maybe she requested it and they didn't weren't aware of it? I don't know, but they're acting all shocked that this, like he's just gonna decide on his own to come up with a big giant dick cake. It's a weird controversy. And I can't believe he could even be mad at it because Kate has a point like,

well, what were you gonna do? Not give them dessert. Yes, exactly, cause he comes back into the galley and he's like, what the fuck was that Mr. Dolbson? What the fuck was that? That was fucking pathetic. I'm like, like it was a cake that was requested. There's nothing pathetic about it

and there's nothing wrong with a penis. Yeah, and then Riley is like, like it was a cake that was requested. There's nothing pathetic about it and there's nothing wrong with a penis. Yeah, and then Riley is like, yeah, I was kind of disappointed in that. Like pointing back, like she's always ready to kind of jump on his side when it's bitching about Kate, which kind of bugs me. Even though you know, like Kate, like she said last week, I'm a bitch.

So get used to it. Yeah, Riley's like, I don't think they, that joke, I don't think they got it. They didn't got it. So she comes back and she's like, well, what? They had to see your beautiful, handy work. I guess it's like, it's like get the plates, it's a fucking waste of a day. Like, you know what you look? Yeah, oh, she said dick.

No, I said dick. But either way, I'm Like, you know what, you look, you're, yeah, oh, you said dick. No, I said dick. No, I said dick. But either way, I'm like, you know what, like, settle down, sir. Okay, you know what, you made a cake. The primary passed out. Just, why are you being so ridiculous about this right now? I think it really, I think it actually really did, like, touch on some sort of childhood trauma he had with his dad,

because his reaction was so over the top with his embarrassment. Oh God, I was a waste of a day. Cool. Daddy went to bed on the birthday before we had a chance to get cake. Guess I'll just aint in a mouth. And he's like ripping apart the dick and like throwing it on plates and case is going, oh, oh, but he didn't know to be furious at her right now. In this moment, he didn't know to be furious at her, but it's how Kate's acting that he knows he's supposed to be furious because she's not like she's trying to hide it. She's like doing those Kate things that you know that she hates your guts when she

doesn't. So first she's crossing her arms like, you want every other gang? And then she goes back to like, great job on cake like every and then everything and now she does her really high voice or she goes yeah the high voice yeah when she gets into those high registers you know that Kate is like in pure evil mode and though even though Kate was in evil mode I still got mad when he's like you know what honestly the the evil and Kate's are, this is a pretty evil bitch move here. I'm like, hey, hey, yes, she's in evil mode, but that's different from saying that she's in a, that was an evil, pretty evil bitch move there.

I mean, I guess it's not that different, but when he says it, it's like so nasty sounding, but when we say it, it's like full of like adoration and love, You know, it's like, oh my God, I love that she just had an evil pretty bitch moment or whatever, you know, pretty evil bitch moment. Yeah, he's like, oh, she gulped me there. Like he knows that she's fucking with it or he knows that she's fucking with him now, you know? So now he's really getting pissed

because she doesn't have a right to fuck with him because she's a woman and he's a man. Yeah, and I mean Kevin just let me... I'm wondering if now is the point where they went back and shot all of Kevin's diary room sessions or his interview segment. Quite possibly. Because I think he went back and re-shot all of the now through this lens of just absolutely fucking hating her.

Yeah, I think that's fair. I think like, especially what she says later in the episode, for sure that like stung in such a deep, wonderful way that yes, they, when then they probably did all the pickups and he's just like, she called me a biker. She called me a biker. A faker, she called him out of Baker. A faker?

Oh, that's just like everything. Oh my god, you're pathetic. You're basically Baker. And Baker's like, what did I do? Yeah, man, I'm coming back to the show. Below deck Baker, she was saying, you're a baker. You try to make fancy things out fancy.

Wait, you're gonna use some pumpkin seeds. You put some pumpkin seeds on a salad. I really thought she called them a baker. And I was like, that is so funny. Because like, obviously being a baker is like a highly skilled thing. But I know for some reason the way she says it to him, it somehow just seems like such an insult. And it's just a hilarious thing that Kate would be like, you're a baker. Well, I don't know. It's a Bravo that gets super bitty about it, right? Like on top chef, the chefs are like, I don't do dessert.

I only do regular balfeat. Okay. Oh, anyway, we're jumping way ahead. But I'm like really tickled at my misinterpretation. You're just a baker. You're a baker. Oh, he has just a baker. He's a baker baker.

Second only and I have Candlestick Maker. loser. Probably can't even make a good candlestick to be honest. Probably just a lump of wax with the wake on the side. So then out of dinner, the captain's like, well, sorry about that. I guess that's a subject interpretation. Excuse you, sir.

You saw it on the preference sheet. You were in the preference sheet meeting. So why are you shocked that there's a big dick out there? What the hell? I think everyone also thought the dick was gonna be a little more cartonian benign. Sort of like, you know, when Kate made the quote unquote rocket with the towels or like a fudgey the whale, that's just in the shape of a penis instead of a whale. I don't think anyone expected a hyper realistic, like, big black dong that's standing erect over, you know, some weird pubic hair. That's something that was like a little too real.

It's like when you watch the polar express, you're like, I know this is a cartoon, but it's creeping me out because it's a little too real. That movie was just gross. It's the polar express of cakes. That's what you made. Yeah, that movie was gross. It wasn't even real. It was just like dead people trying to pretend they're really human, you know, solus CGI.

That's exactly what his cake is. Solus CGI. Yeah. So Courtney's like, it was awkward, but Kevin's overreacting. So then we hear Jamal snoring still and Kate's telling the crew, you know what, I don't feel bad for him because he was screaming at me over lunch, things. And yeah, so she's talking to her part of the crew and then Kevin just grabs two beers and he just goes and sits alone on the little boat. He's like, yeah. Yeah, he just goes the front

and just is gonna moep over there. Where by the way, if Kate did something like that He'd be like what sort of unmediated Steve she she thinks she can just in the middle of a chowder Just go and sit down to have a drink. She's just pounding get over it be a professional But he's allowed to do that. Yeah, I'm like really angry at him today. By the way everyone I'm just gonna like every situation. I'm just gonna turn against Kevin You're gonna be like and then captain Lee walk down the stairs. Oh, yeah And Kevin would probably be like oh while you're walking down the stairs. I can walk down the stairs too

Okay, it's like well I could have told him but you know I just chose to say serve that nice big dick cake. You made to the captain have fun with that and Simone is like Oh shit show She's trying to make him look better on purpose. It's defeating. I think she's a boy of hers. She's gleeful over there. I think that I think Loki, one of the interesting parts of the reunion, will be Simone versus Kate, because I don't think Kate has any idea how much Simone hates her. And it's actually almost surprising how much Simone hates Kate. And it really seemed to, it's not that it came out of nowhere, they definitely

had an issue in the middle of the season, but wow, the the hatred that Simone has, I'm really kind of surprised by it, but I guess it just fest, I guess when you keep it inside it, it was festers and festers and festers. Well, I think she's surprised by both because this is a season where people didn't come out and just say it on cameras. I mean, Kevin did and Simone came to her with an issue but usually it's like a fight the whole season whereas this time they chose to take it

into the diary room sessions and then be nice to her face which is probably the professional way. Is it a professional? Yeah. Instead of fighting all the time, you bitch behind people's back. Yeah. But yeah, Kate seemed to be shocked at how much Kevin to micro, too.

She was like, wow. Yeah, I think so. And I just think of Simone. I mean, the whole season opened with Simone declaring how much she loved ironing, and she was ironing a lot, and she was, was new on service, but she was sort of bad at service, and then Kate basically Sort of demoted her a little bit or for like one charter. She like made her stay downstairs and then Simone got Got snippy bad and started talking to other people bad. It got back to Kate and

Kate got mad and I feel like that that was like the I Guess it just sourd Simone and then from there just festered and just a surprise and look like the cheese fight. Yeah, so she's been going out at this whole season. So she's extremely excited at all of this, you know, and then she just starts rolling a couch with the salami, you know, because it's a man. Dinner's over. Kevin's drinking alone in a dingy I wrote, which is kind of funny funny It's like the tender or whatever he's just sitting over there like go dead guy Go And then Simone yeah Simone goes to

Courtney she goes she's Kevin looks pretty embarrassed and Courtney goes I know With like a face that says I really don't care She's I think it's kind of an overreaction. Yeah. I don't know how I can show that I totally agree with you, but also hide the fact that I will literally don't care what you're saying to me right now. I'm just thinking about Williamsonoma. Crew crew, A&M, crew crew, A&M, let's just get the Dickspray, Charlie Crew, all right.

And then he tells us, my goal was just to fill the void You know the rock my goal with Riley was just to fill that void, you know that she had in a less season What yeah, how was your goal ever anything positive for Riley please? Yeah, you were you like you you talked to her about her before she showed up and then Kevin was a total dick to her with that stupid paleo fight. It was a stupid fight, but Kevin was also the real dick in that fight.

And from that fight onwards, they were all just like assholes to her. So how was that filling the void? It was just you being a dick to her, which is what she didn't want. Last year. It's their last night, so he just wants everything to be fun, right guys? So let's just break the deck, right?

Yeah, so yeah, and then by the way, we do get a flashback of Riley being mad last season Which was included that seminal fight with Ross where she goes got it got it I said it five times. I'll say it again. Got it that was seven got it. That was eight got it That was nine and we're going for number 10 and got it 10 Remember have flustered Ross was by the end. He's like all right. We're gonna do this thing Well, but now we're gonna talk about it. We're gonna talk about you know, I was just gonna talk okay I can't do this just go to your room I'm watching him just complete try so many different management styles so good

Yeah, and I thought by the way at the end, I thought Ross did figure out how to work with Riley. They just had one argument, one big argument, but I don't know, not worth it. So then Tanner is FaceTiming his mom with her baby voice. I'm so sorry, but you're not Collie's mom. So please go back to whatever, whatever, you know, hilarious mom cave you jumped out of for this episode lady, okay? Yeah, I'm not having you. You raised Connor. And there has to be some, or Tanner, he raised Tanner and there has to be some responsibility taken here.

Yeah, so even though you have a high voice, that sounds like it's, I don't know what it sounds like, but it's like does not sound real. Wait a minute baby, I can't even do it. Cause I can't. I feel a lot of sharks there. That's your mom. There are a lot of sharks there. Okay.

I have to say tweet. Tanner's mom's tweet. Or Tanner's mom's Facebook. Oh gosh. Okay, go ahead because I'm gonna. Well, you talk while I look this up. While you looked that up, there was also a moment where Captain Lee,

he sees Kate and he's like, FAC, your timing couldn't have been worse with that dick cake. It was embarrassing for the last charter. And he gets like, yeah, totally agree, totally agree. You know that, and then privately smiling to herself, like, success. Found it. You found it? You know what I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going toie Mann, how my family and I have been into this process, respected and excited about and someone I assumed understood the process and was involved with his team. I was extremely upset, let down and disappointed by the unprofessionalism. And hey, I've seen this the show we had. To claim to not know and say that you don't want to know what happens on your boat, only the live tweet and blog after each episode, critical, negative and extremely biased commentary after the fact behind your computer screen is unsettling for dots. You have to know that your quote unquote brand influences and brings to life very hateful

out of line and out of control of group of trolls. And as you are fueled by them and the people you employed and claim to want no interference with suffered tremendously, uh, six dots as well as their families. Which is me, Tennis Mama. You know this show and what is it what it is about? Get your further the exploitation of your own employees by playing the social media hate game. It is unbelievable that you find that appropriate as the captain of a yacht, as a father, and a so-called family man.

It hurts tremendously. The behavior is nothing more or less than I've ever seen on any reality television show. And your own comments are also questionable and on and off camera please do better with your fame and stop pouring oil on a fire. Hey bullying bullies is all the same from her and confused mom. Herding confused mom. I like that she's saying that he's saying like he's out there tweeting very biased things.

He's not a like, he's not a journalist. He doesn't have to be unbiased. He's watching the show and reacting the way we all are and he's disgusted the way we all are by your son's behavior as among many other things. So, Chalax, Joni. For Joni.

For Joni. Is he reading the Riley was was like your son's premise? Riley sense of tweet like I'm surprised it. I'm surprised you're not more worried about that You know, I don't have her treat up. I want to you all the disservice of looking it up while we talk But the point is canners mom's street wow Yeah, Facebook that's not gonna that's no, no, no, it's not gonna work. It doesn't work when No, how about focus on telling your son not to be such a pig? Yeah Yeah, look at home. How about that? It takes a village to tell you how stupid your child is. Okay, Tanner's mom

Yeah, also don't come down on a captain Lee for using social media while like via social media. It's sort of really cut the knees out from under your argument. So Kate is in the kitchen. She's like, oh my god, what a mess Kevin left. So then Brian passes court and he's like, good not caught. And she's like, whatever. Yeah. And we see Captain Lee saying goodnight to Ted.

I was like, you know, these the the the engineer and first mates or whatever they're, they're getting a lot of screen time this season. I'm really happy for them. And then Kevin comes back into the kitchen to get his mopping done. And kids like, great season, everyone. Like she's not high pitch voice, which means she's still ready to go at somebody. comes back into the kitchen to get his mopping done. And kids say, gritty, isn't everyone? Like she's not high-titched voice, which means she's still ready to go at somebody.

Yeah. So Kevin's like, oh fuck off. Kai, I actually want to go out and apologize to them. I want to go apologize. She's like, um, that would be really weird. And Courtney's like, um, they literally loved it. They thought it was delicious. They ate all the cake. I mean, they literally loved it. They thought it was delicious. They ate all the cake

I mean captain even ate it so You're actually like a tiny little square plate right now, so just go away and Kevin's like you should have slid the local in that Fies okay cuz um yeah, but that's because you went out there and you said the sparkler went out I mean so what Kevin that's what sparklers do I Like Kate trying to like reframe what happened Kate you know what happened You know what happened. She's like yeah, you know watch what the sparkler went out. That's why everyone's so surprised No, no, I wasn't thinking the sparkler without I was saying where the fuck is a primary? That's what I said she goes oh that's better

That's better. She's not gonna serve dessert Is exactly like what oh if so the primary. So you're just not gonna serve dessert? It's exactly, like, well, if so the primary is not there, what are you gonna do instead? You would have been mad, you would have said, like, well, now I have to put together through cobbler, something like that, you know? I mean, what are you gonna do?

I mean, he does. He goes, we'll just see, he's starting that with your hat down your head. It's like he was squishing me down. And that's exactly what I felt like you were doing. It's just, oh, why would I do something like that? Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, squishing you down, oh, why would I do something like that? Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, switching you down, hmm, hmm, why would I do that?

Hmm, hmm, hmm. Yeah, why would I have you stand in front of a charter guest with your dick on a silver platter? Why would I do that to you? Hmm, hmm, hmm. Why would he, Kai? And he's doing that thing where he's being an asshole, but he's also smiling right in your face.

Yeah. But he always has that sort of like a gaped smile like he's trying to still suck out a situation. Like like should I be smiling right now? Should I be angry? I'll just do a semi neutral smile that doesn't commit to any emotion right now. Yeah. And she like, well, the problem is you called me a tick today. And then we get to cut to the casserole fight, which you know, it's a normal thing on Bravo at this point. Love a casserole fight. It's a classic Bravo staple. Yeah, this was this was specifically a casserole fight because it was about the casserole itself, like the actual Pyrex. It was really really down. This is sort of fight you only see on top

chef, you know, yeah, or, oh, you mean because it's about the actual Pyrex as like excuse you real house was the foreign county and split into casserole No, like if the top chef would be like well Bruce took my pyrex and I needed that and now my bucatini is not gonna cook right and then everyone gets mad and Then it's like sometimes in my You know you got a really fight for that casserole dish and today you just didn't fight for it And today you just didn't fight for it. Did you mean to serve us that food in a cast iron skillet? Was that really the best vessel for your soggy food? Please, that could not have gone, I said, go, cast a roll, man.

So it's like, well, guess what today? Kevin, I was not the dick. Yeah. You know, by the way, it really bothered me when he was saying like, it was like you were trying to squish me down He says it's so angrily, you know when That is what he has been undermining Kate and several other people the entire season and it just I just really bothers me the hypocrisy that he has

Well, look, I just I use this rule for every reality show I watch. Usually the bachelor, but in today, you know, today's episode, it works very well. You TatlTail first, okay? You're the TatlTail here. Everything else was after your own first TatlTail. So that's exactly correct. And the snowball of TatlTail reprecations. Exactly. And Kate goes, well, you know, you presented it perfectly, and she goes, at least I presented it, implying that she's lazy or whatever. And she's like, oh, have I never, have never done that? How many beach picnics have you been to?

How many have you had to crawl onto the tender and have to set up in the humidity and put up a tent while Simone is trying to rake the sand? How many? And he's like, I think it's going to funny. You can't even train your staff to do it themselves. I think what are you talking about? You won't let anybody do anything if you're a kid.

So now it's about being a leader, and you can't count some own, okay? She's over there pouring milk into a fucking beer can. Like girls are more on, okay. over there pouring milk into a fucking beer can. Girls are more on, okay? Yeah, I mean, this whole thing about you can't even train your staff well enough to go and do it by themselves. You know what, because if Kate then didn't go

and go on the beach picnic, you know what Kevin would be? Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.

Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad't do it? He goes, I think they're more capable of it, but you go instead. Okay. So then your argument's dead.

First, she couldn't train her staff, but now they are trained, but she's still going. And Simone's cracking up. Like, he's winning some kind of a point. And she's like, oh my god, I'm trying to, I'm secretly cracking up. Like, you're not secretly cracking up. You're literally cracking up Simone. Okay. You're literally hitting glasses with a hammer right now. You don't even realize it

I don't know what that means, but it sounded nice. I'm polishing them Yeah, so kids like well, you know, you're so defensive because you presented your penis probably this evening so So Kevin tells us this is a new level that Kate is stopped to. This is a guy's daughter. And then he goes to cry about it in the crew mass. And the crew has put nice, huge fresh bananas for Kevin's scene crying about his penis cake.

Oh you guys. Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. And then the next morning, when everyone wakes up, Kate is giving Kevin the full silent treatment in the galley. And the guests are eating their breakfast and they're talking about the dick cake and talking about what it looked like and how it arrived, etc, etc. And then of course the producers cut right to sausages on the griddle just to keep the phallic imagery going

from the bananas of the sausages. They're so good at that on this show. They are really good. And Kevin has gone to the guys and we're like, oh yeah, really told you all last night. Yeah, really had a really good last night. Thank you. So then Ashton Radio's Riley for a talk and she's like, on my

wait, Prick. Yes sir. Yeah, that was my favorite. Roryly, Roryly, Roryly, meet me on the bow, bow please. Great. On the way. Prick. Yeah, just I love, I love her unbridled anger towards these guys. Yeah, at all times. Like, okay, I'll do that. That's all fucking guys. Even motherfucker. Now what was that you're asking me about? So he's trying, I guess they're making him do this scene. Cause he doesn't even want to be there. He's like looking off. He still can't look at Riley. And his eyes are really big. And he's just, they're just darting anywhere but Riley. And he's like, I think it's clear. We have our

differences. And it gives deeper than work You and I are different people and that's okay. So end of the season. So please don't yell at me tonight Please please please I promise I'll have a paleo option for you just fine fine So they they promised to have a good night tonight Which I was actually a little shocked that

that's what happened because I was like, oh come on, this is going to be one more blow up just for old time's sake, but no. So then meanwhile, we then see Simone getting coffee for the guest, which means that her personal arc is complete. She now knows how to fetch coffee. And she tells her, she tells the lady, she goes, you like a little cream in your coffee, right? And she's like, yeah.

And it's like, don't turn on't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don, don, don, don't, don, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, ironing that shirt and it turned out pretty well. Okay. I was like where was that scene? Courtney still can't iron but hey Tanner finally got some so I guess that was her that was her arc. Yeah. So now anchors up anchors up let's light get in and get out here. So now they're heading back to port to drop off the guests. Yes, and Tanner is flirting with Kate and the kitchen. He's like, I want the moj. And she's like, oh God, Jesus Christ. And Kevin says, can I serve these now? And meaning these sticky button things that he made. She goes, I think they're done eating. So I don't really care what you do it,

what you do with it, and the last meal's over. So, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, do with it and the last meal's over so he's like well someone checked out I'm like dude you made sticky buns after like breakfast and I made sticky buns like like stopping some meaty with your fucking sticky buns yeah I made extra things after the dick egg and it's like that they're still so they went to sleep again, okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Like, you just wanted to serve some sort of pastry that was normal shaped and not punishaped for redemption. That's what it was. He still took them out there. He still took them out there to be like, I made some sticky buns and I mean. Yeah. So Tanner was when he said that, some of us checked that and Kevin goes, yeah, someone checked that six weeks ago.

Yeah, yeah. And Tanner goes goes oh snap crackle pop don't sully rice crispy that way Tana he just keeps saying the same things over and over like stop trying to make jibbity cricket happen Tana okay we got it so yeah so Kate meanwhile is downstairs and she's telling Riley that she's not gonna talk to Kevin until he apologizes and You know, she's like, you know Kevin has made his share of mistakes and embarrassed me in front of Courtney and Simone So you know with Kevin there are only two speeds asshole and sleeping and then back to Kevin and Tanner talking Kevin's like I told us she couldn't try to stop And Tana goes that's fucking savvy. Which I guess he meant savage, but I just saw it high to get.

I know, I feel like it's like British slang. It's like the savvy, but I'm like, stop taking British slang that may or may not actually be a real thing. I'm just also a real word. Oh, damn, that's savvy. Well, you actually probably, I think you're right. I think you probably was taking savage and then like short being it like that.

That's savvy. But it's like, it's a real word. Either way, whatever it was, I don't approve. I don't approve. I'm a mom brings Kevin over and she's like, Hey, look, I just want to say about the cake. Really liked it. Thank you so much. Sorry. It was a sleep for your cake and everyone absolutely loved your cake. So it did kind of at least turn out how you thought. Yeah. And by the way, also right before that, Jamal goes, Hey, has anyone has everyone, has anyone ever told you look like Tom Cruise and he goes, yeah. So anyway, he just like is say thank you

Or I have heard that yeah, that's so funny, but don't be like yeah Anyway, here's some sticky buns. I made that no one wants you know Well, I'm so ready to be defensive about everything like when that lady came in It's like I'm chef to chef's a good fuck yourself just And now so he's ready to be like that, but then she's really nice to him. So he goes, I'm even thinking so much. Like, what is that voice even? I know.

And you know, the thing is this is that actually in most of situations, we might have even had his taken his side, but he's just such a dick that we're not going to take the side. Even if logic dictates otherwise, I'm not going to take your side. You're just a dick. So then Brian and Courtney, he's still trying with Courtney. It's like, you look really prey today. It's like, oh, get out of here. Yeah. We also don't, don't forget that Kevin, by the way, when, um, uh, when they complimented

his cake, he just, he goes, I just want to say thank you so much. And you guys have been my favorite charter this season for sure. And then he tells us, I'm just so very good at what I do. And it was an amazing co-cake. It just was wonderful to finish the charter really. I'm like, you know what? Throw yourself off that boat.

I've had enough. So fuck you, Kai. So then the girls want a pop champ, he's just gonna be over. and I was like, oh my God, if they pop this all over at the deck, I'm going to be so offended for the crew. And then they walked to the side and did it over the side. And I was like, wow, this is the best crew. I'll see or the best guests all season.

Thank you. Yeah. So many of that. And I'm clean up a lot of sticky champagne in my life. Thank you guys. Yeah. And I'm sure there's some fish down there that were a little confused by what are tasted a little different than normal, but I'm sure they appreciated to

as they tried to kiss each other at the club at the fish club. Yeah, all the fish are suddenly like pregnant. They're like Got all the fish drunk There's some way around there. There's one fish that's like puking in a corner than trying to kiss the Simone fish This is a mode fish is answering's one fish that's like puking in a corner than trying to kiss the Simone fish This Simone fish is answering an iron The Simone fish is like oh look at this cool new cave. It's like a shark's mouth Okay, it's like well, it's not my favorite in the very beginning because she was like the quintessential head cheerleader But she said she was wrong and then she admitted it and then she apologized so I like her now. It's only the group could do the same Yeah

And then we also get captain Lee is feeling great. It's the final it's the final charter So he's like, you know what that means. We're gonna do a few extra thaw corn startles. So up first, where are you going to startle? The guests, and they all startle. And then they're like, get to the, they're when they're finally a doc. He's like, on the side of the boat and he hits the thaw corn again. And he's like, Corn again and I was like Jesus fucking Christ Starts he cracks himself up every single time. Yeah, every time So yeah, so they're there. We also should mention that at one point Kate walks by Tanner and she's like Tanner. You're just so cute. I'm like, oh no Kate. This is really not no don't do this Don't do this to us. Okay. Yeah Don't make us witness that, yeah.

So tip meeting. So, ah, Captain, oh by the way, Captain Lee, Laya Laya, pants on fire at the Watch It Crap His Life Show, when we asked him if someone gets a plane ticket home and he said yes, no, we've got a plane ticket home. I mean, did that include Abby? She had already left. I think maybe that's maybe he meant that because Shad she already left? I think she was on the verge of leaving. Oh, no, I think she was still on that at that.

Yeah, maybe he meant that that like someone left, but I didn't get her minute because he did say, well, yeah, someone gets a plane ticket, but I can't talk about it. So maybe he was gonna say But but he got me very excited for some firing and he points out now that nobody got fired He's like, well, we did have a quitter quitter Pumpkin pitter and her name is Abby, alright. She's gone. So yeah, but you know what this was great Yeah, we pulled in they give us a $20,000 tip and that's a hundred fifty four thousand dollars and tips and 14,000 per person So guess what I'm giving you guys a full moon party tonight on a private beach. Oh god Little did we know that was gonna mean Kevin's Harry asked touching everything. Yeah, but it's actual full Harry moon. Yeah, actual full hairy moon. Yeah. So now they're all

cleaning the game ready for the party. Tanner's like in overdrives it. The quicker we get the thumb, the quicker we can get fucked up and I can be offensive to all the ladies all over again. Yeah. And it seems like it's gonna be okay, right? Courtney is still not really sure about Brian. She's like, I'm avoiding him. I like to have any intentions to get with him. So I got some never going to speak to him again. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're like popping up in some some pink champagne and kids like, yeah, this is like a friendship bracelet, but better. The boys do shots. And then it's time to go on the boat ride. So

the boys do shots and then it's time to go on the boat ride. So they're going on the boat ride to the island and Ashton has his arm around Brian and Courtney's like, yeah, I guess I was just interfering for four weeks. Like that was attention with me and Brian. I was in the way of him in the Ashton. They're like, yeah. And suddenly they they start then they finally like land and you know, Simone's like look at how pretty this is OMG guys look how pretty this is like Simone you've fallen off the water you're Being thrashed round by a whale Yeah, Simone's just walked into the bathroom And then right when we get a Simone OMG right the next line after is Tana going, Jimmy, quick.

All the taglines. Yeah. So they arrive at this like beach barbecue thing and there's like lady boys and like fire, throwers and dancers and it's very intense for seven people or eight people. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot going on over there. So then the music all stops and the captain's ironing. Yeah.

Look at that. I think that that's pretty straight. That's nice and hat. And they're all getting fucked up. They're all getting drunk and Kevin is, Kevin's already wasted and he decides he's gonna, there's like the, it says, Valor, that's the boat, right?

There's like, there's like, fire litters to say Valor and like, an English and also in Thai and Kevin's like, that's what I'm gonna do. And so he, like, I think he takes off his shirt or, I don't know what it is, he's drunk and he basically dives through the fire letters. Like it's hilarious. I'm like, way to go making everyone on the casting crew

and now have to potentially ruin their night as you could get burns and have to be taken off to Bangkok to the ICU because you thought it'd be funny. For a moment, you didn't press your father, okay? You did not impress your father at that moment, Kevin. Listen, I'm all into Kevin jumping into a fire. But why did he have to do it between words? There were two words that said like the valor or something.

And he didn't jump between the letters. He jumped between the word space. Like, that's not fair. That's barely even jumping between jumping into the fire. Come on, jump in. Yeah, who are you trying to impress? Who are you trying to impress? At best, you impress no one.

At worst, you burn yourself to death. What is the point of this exercise? Just do it better. Get burnt better. Okay, that's what I say. And so everyone's like, then the fire dancers come out and there's just like swirling fire and everyone's like, woo! And then it cuts the Courtney sitting there like, and bored.

Yeah, just with her straw. She's kind of like chewing on a straw in her drink. And brands like, I don't want things to end on a bad note, cool. It's been awkward. I mean, I have the most fun about you. The whole season has been about you, cool. The whole season! Yeah. How hard can I suck on this straw to show you that I don't want you sitting next to me. Okay. What do you want to do? I don't know what to do. What do you want to do?

And then it goes to Ashton with his love of his life. He's just taking a selfie with his tongue out like his love of his life, he's just taking a selfie with his tongue out. Like, good. And it goes back to Courtney. She's like, what do you mean? What do I want to do? He goes to do. She's like, um, I guess just leave it as it is. Okay.

Yeah. Um, when I was hoping that that mat mic, okay, you're not going to give him what he wants by the end. You know, just leave this fucker. Okay. Who cares? And he's hot. Walk away.

Walk away. And then he's like, so and then they start joking. He's like, well, I guess Everything would be fine if you just say I'm full of shit Brian. She's like, well, then you have to say it too And then they both said together and then all of a sudden they just are kissing. Yeah, they make up Now that said Why not leave having sex with Brian? You won't. You basically won this season, so congrats. Exactly. Go have sex with Brian, and then afterwards, find a box of goodiva chocolates and enjoy

your afternoon. I never call him again. Thanks. Never call him again. That's my request from the adress. It's not a name. Yeah. So Kate is, Kate's like, wow, Brian unle just secret weapon. He took a shirt off

And then Tanner and Tanner comes over to Riley and Kate talking and Riley's like you are an anomaly and by that I mean a fucking jackass moron mother fucker, right? Yeah, no one know what you're saying. I am an anomaly. You know, I love my mom No, that's not that's not what that means. So then Ash is lying in the cave and out alone. He's like, it's the end of the season. So I'm doing what I have to do. I'm going to be over here and be a good boy. Okay. Why is it not in your sacrifice? Yeah, why does it have to be you sleeping or trying to physically assault somebody in a car?

Like, why is that? Why are those the only choice? Yeah, I mean, I applaud him for finally realizing that he has act professional on these nights out. But I mean, you know, like, how about you just, you can still, like, how about have some self-control? Beyond, I guess it is self-control to go take yourself to the cabana.

But if you have to go to those extremes to make sure you don't become, quote unquote, smashed in, then there's a problem because why I feel like I'm pontificating right now. I'm like, I'm just gonna be angry about something right now. He went to the cabana instead of hang out with everyone and being calm. Yeah. Well, have fun, Ashden. So Kevin is trying to take a selfie with Riley and Kate. And everyone's wasted at this point, right? And get the, yeah, I'm not going to out of

it. He's like, no, won't you in it, Kate? Come on, Kate. So they take a picture. And so Kate starts her whole line, which you know, you say at the end of the season of every season of below deck, you say, yes, it's been a season of every season of the low deck. You say? Yes. It's been a while right this season. I mean, you're paying the ass to work with sometimes, but about to do that whole, you know, but I still love you. Yeah, I'm sure it would be best friends forever. Yeah, and he's like, and he's seen it for a moment.

It seems like he's speaking up on it because she says you're paying the ass to work with some time to go, yeah, well, most of the time. So it's like, oh, look at that. They're finding they're finding, they're, they're being fake and nice at the end. And he goes, well, the big mess up is when you stopped caring. Like, okay, this is not going to work out well. Cause Kate likes does that thing where she flicks her head back. Like, okay, you want, you want to do this? Cause we can do this right now.

I can call you Baker. Her face, her face falls in her lips. Just pat like, hmm, she's like, oh, what did I stop caring? How you got your baker? Her face falls in her lips just pout like. She's like, oh, what did I stop caring? He's like, Kai, we can all stand as a crew, Kai. Which is the weakest thing to do. It's like you can't eat this can't attune it.

You just opened it. So you're gonna like, blame the entire crew for bringing the can attune it. You know, just stick with it. You stick with it, you started it fight for yourself Yeah, and then she's like so you don't think I'm a good cheese to Well, I don't think you're good at you're that good of a yacht chef either and then this is where I thought she said You're a baker, which I still really like my version of reality in this one

She said baker because you're a baker. You use rocket, use beats. You make weird salads with pumpkin seeds. I love it. It's like he's trying to be fancy by using rocket lettuce and meats and pumpkin seeds. Yeah, he is just like weird salads and pumpkin seeds. Ooh, ooh, ooh, can I jump in, Kate?

Do gal now, do gale. Oh. And Tanner comes though, stumbling over. And Kevin's like, oh, Tanner, oh, look at Kai. She's an amazing chef over here, listen to her. And Tanner goes, you are a great chef, baby. You, you're the chef, I chef.

And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What you did was phenomenal, right, brah? Like, Tanner suddenly is like a judge, iron chef out of nowhere. Like, what's he talking about? He has like, you know, a rollo, and he thinks he's had a gourmet meal. Yeah, and Kevin's like, I'm sorry, Kate,

but if you have something to back it up, you have nothing to back it up, nothing. Um, I think that what she has to back it up is that she's managed to be the chiefs do for about six or seven years on this boat or with Captain Lee. Yeah, I'm so Riley is talking to Simone. I'm like, I don't think Kate likes to have anyone questioning her. Like, I said, you have to look at it from his side. Okay, who the fuck are you to say that, lady? Really? Riley. My God.

You like tell every single person off or every single thing. And she's like, I- There's literally a crab in the sand right now that is traumatized because it walked too close to you. Hey, crab, get the fuck out of here. It's like, I just wanted to walk to the coconut. Yeah, she's like, she did prank him, but she's like, no, then he called me a day.

I'm like, Riley, you literally have justified everything you've ever done, ever, okay? Yeah, so then back to Kate, she's like, you know what, gentlemen, have that beer, have it. And she just walks away. Yeah. And Simone's talking about how, you know, she's like, I just didn't understand Kate.

Sometimes she'll be really nice, but then there'll be a job. I'm like, well, no, you understand Kate. That's how it works. That's pretty much how Kate operates. Yeah. Have you seen the show before? Yeah. So Tanner and Kevin just start doing tons of shots.

And Kevin's one of those drunks who's just, he's a miserable person anyway, but then he just is so miserable when he's drunk. And he keeps his hand, his face is in his hands the whole time. He's like someone you have to take care of. And then he acts like you don't have to take care of him, but he's like all floppy and bent over and falling over. And he thinks it's charming and hilarious,

whereas everyone else now has to tend to him because he has not dealt with his childhood issues and therefore, drink self-medicates rigorously. Enough with that. So then Tanner tries to pull over Kate to talk to her, but he's, they're all wasted. And Tanner's like falling down and Kate's wasted to you And they're using the drug cam on them where it's like yeah

He's like he's like Frankenstein's monster just sort of Walking in this stilted way like Kate good Kate good And the past is right by him she's acting like she's at a cocktail party. There's like, hey! And the pass is right by him. She's actually like, she's at a cocktail party. There's like five people there. Oh, I know, that's my friend Meredith. I have to say I don't work real quick. And he keeps following her, and then she turns and walks the other way.

And she's like, hey! He's like, jimmyly quicky! Yeah, can't come over here! Oh, fine, what's up, Tanner? Oh, I've wanted to kiss you. I've wanted to kiss you all day. And she goes, you're an idiot Kevin has been kind of a dick and you're like, well, he's kind of right and Tana goes addicted me

She goes this is never gonna happen by the way. I'm a lesbian That's great and I guess partially true occasionally, but I would rather you just say, this is never gonna happen anyway. You slime ball piece of crap. Go away. You're a slime ball piece of crap. Yeah. So yeah, be on the Marvel lesbian by the second. The more you talk, just be on the,

be on the lesbian, oh look, I just ordered a Katie Langsey to eat off of Amazon. Wow. Wow, show time show. So keep talking. Oh my goodness. It's your time show. Is that over? It's still on show time? I'm assuming they just rebooted it actually.

Is a new version. It's like, Edward, the next generation. Yeah. Bigger L, more L, more L than ever before. So let's see. So Kevin comes over to Kate. Okay. So Kate's sitting there smoking. And everybody's kind of not by her, but they're all in the same place. And Kevin comes right behind her and he's like, Hey Brian, Kate's just so mad in his cigarette. Well, and then he backs up and he kicks sand at her face. What the hell was this strange school yard regression except it's not really charming because he's a grown-ass man and he's drunk and he's kicking sand at a coworker, be a lady and it's really hostile. How's he get away with that?

How are you not allowed to be physical with people on these shows but you're allowed to fucking kick sand in their face like that. Who even allowed that? How's nobody stepped in and gotten rid of him? Well, thank God, well, thank God, no, Brian stood up. Well, Brian's sort of did something. Brian stood up for her career. He was like, do you count to that? You counted that. By the way, Brian's only doing that in my opinion to get laid. I actually think that it was, I actually thought it was getting in trouble. I actually thought that was getting in trouble. Natural. No, I actually thought that was a natural Brian moment.

And he has weird moments of chivalry, you know, he's like, bro, you just keep sounding a face. That's not cool. That's almost as bad as calling us yachties. That's terrible, man. Yeah. Yeah, it's reasonable moments. He called me a yachty.

I forgot about that one. Did he not call me a yachty? He called me a yachty. I forgot about that one. Did he not like a yachty? She called me a yachty. That's still why he's so pure. Yeah, that's why she called me a yachty. Whenever one knows I am the person who works on a yacht. So Kate's like, yeah, that's not maxid it, obviously, right? So she's like, I want to go home. Well, in Kevin's like, Kevin by by the way, so I don't care. I do whatever the fuck

Oh, yeah, the caption really goes wall Ra la la ha ha So they're on the boat on the way home or on the way back and Brian's like that was the best experience of my life It's like yeah except for the part where he can't. And she's like, yeah, except for the part where he can't sanded my face, he's like, oh, don't worry about that. Fucking Brian, you see? There's how long that shovel relasted. Well, he's doing that aggressive positivity.

Like, don't worry about that. Like, in his mind, he thinks he's trying to cheer her up, but really what he's doing is dismissing her. And so she's like, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. I mean, how can I not worry about that he he expanded my eye I have a stew who's trying to iron the tender right now as we speak and Ashen is jerking off behind my face right now I can feel it don't tell me that not to worry about that yeah I took it as him being like oh whatever of

course he's being a drama queen and he tells us even though K is who she is you can't kick sand of the girl's face, but she is over reacting because that's what she does Well, no that is not over reacting. I can't believe you're even the only one who said me thing That's a bullshit. Yeah, it's not when he has like a gesture of several times in this drunk in state He's a drunk dude. You don't know what he's gonna do And now he's like kicking sand right in her face. I mean, it's like, it's not a good place to be in and it's not overreacting. I mean, yeah, if you said to someone like, oh, I just, so and so kick sand in their face compared to like maybe someone a mussely dude punching a window.

It doesn't sound as, it seems like small potatoes, but honestly, in this context, it was terrible. It was like a real salt. The other one was almost a salt. This is literal salt. Did she have to go to the hospital? No, but doesn't take away from the fact that it's just not really, yeah, it's a really, really forward,

aggressive thing. So Kevin gets back to the boat. He can't even walk. He's falling all over the place. Yeah, it's a really, really forward aggressive thing. So Kevin gets back to the boat. He can't even walk. He's falling all over the place. And Kate goes to bed and the camera's trying to follow her. She just flips off the camera and slams the door. Yeah.

And it well deserved mood because nobody from production did shit. And Kevin, meanwhile, is gifting us all with a side of him, his pasty ass, smearing up against the every surface in the hallway as he gets naked. Yeah, pretty much done at this point. It was pretty grossed out by this. I know. That last scene, I was like, fuck this show.

Bye. Bye, Sean. Yeah, so then at least Courtney, so Courtney and Brian then go off to the guest room to have sex at long last and At least and at least a Brian's credit He later on does not do a Tanner like yeah, we fucked for four hours. You know Yeah, it's like I was pretty drunk, so I don't know what happened brew Mm-hmm. Yeah, so we get one last, Jiminy Cricket from Tanner. Yeah.

So then the next morning, Kate is, she's in bed, and she's wearing all black and has blacks on glasses on, and she's just sitting there. And her door's open, and Kevin's door's open, and he's just giving her that oafish smile like, oh, an antideatom entire Tommy chef, aren't I? She's like, why are you smiling at me? He's like, cause I'm happy.

And then he shuts his door and she goes and opens his door. And she's like, oh, you're happy after he's your Santa. My fucking eye. And he's like, I didn't do that. She's just don't tell me no. And he's like, I don't know what I did. Listen, I don't remember kicking Santa in a face. But if I did, obviously I did it for a reason.

If she called me a bolting dickhead, it told me I had a small penis. It's something true like that. It's fine, but definitely don't call me a shitty yacht chef, which I thought you didn't remember. So. Yeah. Also in my mind at that point when I was watching,

I was like, she called you a baker, sir. But obviously I was wrong. And also you said that she's not a good chiefs do first. So again, you started it. And for some of you who uses school ground, school ground like techniques, I can't believe you don't remember school ground rules. You started it, fucker. And also like, I don't remember it, but if kicked Sandin' her face, obviously had a reason.

The implication being that your reasons are always correct and always reasonable? No. Yeah. So, Tanner and Brian, yeah, talking about. I'm getting so mad. Yeah, it's ridiculous. So anyway, who cares?

No, not about that, but about the Tanner and Brian scene. They talk about getting laid. And then Kate's telling Riley, So anyway, he cares. No, not about that, but about the Tanner Bryan scene. Yeah. They talk about getting laid. And then Kate's telling Riley, well, he's not as an apologize to me. So, you know what, if you don't like me, then fine, just go with that. I just don't need fake friends, you know, because she's kind of surprised that he hates her to that degree. Yeah.

And then, so now people start to leave. It's like the real world at the end of the season. So Simone is leaving first, and she's basically saying how Tanner is such a child and you know that her you know she which I was happy about. I'm happy that she did not leave the boat still planning after him and being like you know being the way she was the first half of the season. And she talks about how her relationship with Kate is totally disingenuous Like yeah, that's called being a workplace. It's called disingenuine according to her Which I like it because the talk is how smart she is

She's like that was disingenuine And so she said she's gonna go to the med to get more experience which makes me wonder is she gonna do like a crossover on to Blow Deck Med? Who knows? Oh, I don't know, I guess we'll find out soon. So then Tanner's like, ladies need a quickie, ha ha ha, just need a moment. Okay, it's like, oh God. I don't feel bad for not hooking up with him, but if we're ever in the same zip code,

it's like for sure, a sure thing. Oh. No, no, get off that boat and like get some man context. That will change you. That'll change it around for you. No. So then Courtney is next to leave. And so she goes up to Kate and kids like, thank you for being so amazing.

Courtney goes, thank you for being so amazing. We're just amazing together. You. So she's out of there and then Kevin and the captain. And the captain's really nice to Kevin. He's like, been a pleasure outstanding job. Jeff Dick. No, I'm sorry, what's your name again?

I was never gonna forget that giant dick, great. Yeah, that was a great dick cake that you made. And I'm sure it wasn't embarrassing for you at all. Yeah, that was a great dick cake that you made and I'm sure it wasn't embarrassing for you at all So yeah Kevin Kevin's like I just wish we were doing another six weeks together not Great one Kevin great one So Ryan he's not gonna apologize to Kate. He's like there's only 70 fakipologies You can only apologize faithfully so many times to this woman. You know what I'm saying and then he leaves and Then Kate sees that he's leaving and she's like, oh hey, Kevin. She like she like chases him down on the day actually

Oh, hey, Kevin. Hey, Kevin. Hi, I pitch voice which means Michael bias wasting here. Hi, Kevin Hi, I caught you trying to leave without saying bye to me. So you have to say bye anyway, cuz I'm saying bye to you Bye, he just ignores her. Yeah. She ran out there and then we, did they cut to commercial? I think they did. She's thinking if she goes out there, it's like, Kevin.

Commercial, do we come back? She goes, bye Kevin. And he just said, yeah. I love the cliffhangers they have on this show. Also, we should mention that when Courtney walked off the dock, she's like, oh my God, there's a dock. There's a dock. And it's like giant lumbering dog just comes up like, it's like a Jeffrey from Project Runaway.

I love you. Love you. So then Brian gets out of there, get out. And I'm going to my tool to, so then Kate and Riley are talking about Ashton. And Kate's like, so what are you gonna say to Ashton? Just be civil. Riley's like, how about one of these days you'll make a great boason. Maybe you can workshop that a little bit. How about, um, buy you prick? That's a little aggressive.

How about, um, must be tall to ride this ride. You piece of shit. Uh, you know, maybe you don't focus on his, uh, his physical attributes. Okay. How about your fucking asshole? I hope you die on this boat someday. Hmm. It's work. What she ended up on was pretty good. She goes have a safe flight, Ashton. I appreciate you tolerating me And he's just like itching himself the whole time she's in the room like first He's like grabbing his weener like oh my note's itching and then he's like scratching his chest like oh Yeah, Raleigh tells us I'm gonna go back to Alaska and I'm gonna fish I'm gonna fish do some boats and I'm gonna fish. I'm gonna fish, do some boats, I'm gonna fish some fucking more.

I feel like she does that every, I feel like she announces that every time she leads any place. Well, this was a great dinner, guess what I'm gonna do? Going back to Alaska and a fish. And then Ashton's left with only the women at the end and he's visibly uncomfortable. And so next is Kate. So he passes Kate and she's like, oh, are you leaving Ashton?

And she's just swirling her glasses looking at him. He's like, oh, oh, okay, boom. She goes, he did a great job. And her face is fully unenthused. Yeah. No emotion on it. And he's like, yeah, thanks. And he just leaves.

Just, yeah, same with the rest of our season. Civil but fake. Yeah. So then he goes to say, go buy the Captain and he's like, wow, look at that. You got a nice farmer's tan going on there. Yeah, you got to even that shit out. That's what I say.

Even that shit out. God, your chest is almost as red as Riley's hair. Wow, you'll never forget her now, huh? Huh? And then Ash is like I would look to thank you captain for giving me such a challenging season because you know He even made me keep early which really taught me things. I learned a lot from that He's like, you know, no say like learned anything on calm seas there, right? Yeah It's like I always tell my friends,

if you're ironing on high, you better keep your ego on low. And of course, Ashton is going to Florida to spend time with his daughter, Ross. Everyone's leaving to spend time with their daughter. Of course, he's going to go see Ross as little Bestie. And he's like, and then I'm going to join a crew with no read heads. And we know what happens when he goes to see Ross, right? They get drunk and have sex with Chandling fences and Ross gets arrested. Is this the season where Ross got arrested? Oh, no, that was before this season. That was before the season. It was with Jawao. Oh, that was, no, this guy Ross was with them too. Oh, Ashwin with the Jawao and Jawao. Oh, that was, uh, no, this guy, Ross was with them too.

Oh, Ash and with Jawao and Ross? Yeah. Oh God. I think it was like a super classy, uh, super classy mic. Cause it didn't, wasn't Ross the one who got arrested? Who got arrested, Ash? Ross got arrested, but I thought it was cause Jawao started mouthing off to people and then Jawao, like, I thought that,

I thought that was Jawao's fault. I blame Jawao. It's always Jawao's fault, in our mind. Always Jawao, like, I thought that was Jawao's fault. I blame Jawao. It's always Jawao's fault, in our mind. Always Jawao. Yeah. So then the Kate and the Captain hug, and they've done it so many times, they're just like, well, all right, well, that much else to say. Bye.

I mean, you're still alive, so. I'm moved to New York, because why not? We'll just wedge that in there at the end here. Yeah. She says, I'm ready for a new adventure, which is scary to here Yeah Don't like it. It ends with the captain saying I so have the best goddamn job in the world Yep, I'll look another fallen soldier did someone could someone get these

Bautles out of here? How many fallen soldiers? And the killer. Ooh, that brings us to the end of the low dick season. Yeah. So next week we'll be back covering that reunion, which will be pretty interesting, I'm sure. And our next episode, we are going to tackle the new Bravo show, below dick.

Silling Yacht! So look forward to that. Take take an eye look at look out for it in your feeds and if you're if you're wondering feeds don't forget to subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts and the episodes will just come to you. It will arrive to you much like a penis cake on a charter. Love you guys. Bye everyone. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.