Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Jumpin' Wack Trash

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

Below Deck hits its stride as Deloris freaks out and jumps overboard. Also, Elizabeth whines, Rachel gets wasted, and a band at a resort gets assaulted. This week's premium bonus is a fun chat about current events. Find it at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens*We're doing a 12 part series on Stitcher Premium called Dwell Hello all about HGTV's House Hunters. Sign up to Stitcher Premium at https://www.stitcher.com/premium using discount code CRAPPENS.**We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people want to turn around, kids will happen so much that happens. Well, hello and welcome to the Watch About Crappin's Podcast! So podcast about all that crap that we love to talk about on your profs, Guy, I'm Ronny Karam and that's been over there.

Hi, Ben. Hi, what's up? Nothing, Ben Mandelker or Mandelker, Depending on who you are, how well you know him. You can find Ben at the Game Brain podcast, which is a great podcast. That games. Okay. And you can also find him over at Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is a cartoon on you to. Yeah, I've actually been a bit delinquent on it. I haven't done a new one in several months, mainly because Roddy and I have been working on some other stuff and, you know, I've been, that's an animal crossing, guys. I'm not gonna lie, it's animal crossing.

But in terms of game brain, I've mentioned before, it's like a rotating host on that one and this week I'm on it. And it's a really fun episode. So go check it out. I think you'll enjoy it. I'm on it with it's a really fun episode. So go check it out. I think you'll enjoy it. I'm on it with Matt Robinson, who is also one of the permanent hosts. So go check out Game Brain Podcasts. Yeah, go check it. And something else we're working on right now is the 2021 golden crappier one. Which we have every year. Wow. I'm not even sure how many we've had, but a lot

maybe I think we're at nine maybe 10 we've definitely been doing it We need to find out if it's 10 because of his 10 that's huge, right? I Love how we're how on top of it we are with Well our five year. I think we started in 2000. I think next year will be our Didn't we start in 2012? So this is our 10-year anniversary This year.

What? This isn't this our 10 year anniversary. We didn't we started at the end of 2011. I think we started. And this is our first episode was in January. Well, actually, so here's the thing. Our episode anniversary is on January 25th. That is our birthday.

So this crappies is kind of like an early birthday, but I believe we started in I think we were January 2012. I will go back and look. Okay. We're very professional. Yeah, no one cares. Okay, but the point is we've done a lot of these awards shows. We do them every year.

We love doing them. This is our biggest one ever. and since it's the pandemic still We're doing it from home as are all of our guests and we've got tons of guests tons of guests to talk to you tons of guests presenters It's gonna be a great show you can get tickets at watchovercraftens.com That's also where you will find ballots to vote your vote is very important, okay? The show is gonna have a big room where you guys can all talk to each other while we live stream and It's lit. It was last time. It was really really fun last time. So go get tickets. It's for January 21st

That's a Thursday. It's gonna be at 6 p.m. Pacific and 9 p.m. Eastern time be there. It would be square. I would I would wager to say that This crappies will have the biggest guest we've ever had I will wager to say that Yes, I will too because and it's easy to wager because we already know the answer You're right You're really. Wow, I really first knew I got that. Yeah, it's officially our biggest guest we've ever had. Yeah, don't take that bet you guys, because you will lose.

Don't take that bet. So calm. So this is also a really pivotal episode of Below Deck that we're covering because it's officially when Below Deck kicks in to gear for me, at least this season. So 11 episodes in and I died. Okay, I died. You died?

It's, yeah, it's a delight. I do, this was a super sized episode and I don't think it needed to be super sized. I think it could have been a normal episode because I felt like the extra 15 minutes resulted in like 15 more minutes of watching, watching, shatmeeing, but that's okay. I actually agree.

I think, for me, the season kind of kicked into gear, the week that we took off from below deck, and we're like, we're gonna put this on pause for a second, and then that week, it became good. It's just what happens with below deck sometimes, you know? And what I liked about this episode was that it was a callback to two seasons ago, and the last season, when Courtney was on, because this one was all about a seafootic shove against it.

And I was just waiting and waiting and waiting for someone to recommend a seafoot tower and not a single person did. Trash. Trash. So does called blood in the water. And I called it jump and whack trash. Is that too mean? No, it's not too mean. It's just funny. It's like it Jump and Wack Trash. Is that too mean? So that's not too mean.

It's just funny. It's like it's like I was wondering. I was like, what is Ronnie going to call this episode? And I'm like, that was definitely not where I thought you were going to go jump and whack. I thought, it's not the reference I thought would come out of this, but sure, why not?

Hey, why not? I've been working on it all day. But let's take like a regular relationship, you have to totally be uninterested for it to get good. You know, you have to just get to that point where you're like, I don't even like you anymore. Fuck the fuck outta here. And then suddenly it's like, oh my God, look at me.

You know, I'm worthy, I groomed, I combed my hair. And you're like, who are you? You have a job. I'm in, I'm back in. It's sometimes it just takes a moment to get behind, you know, new personalities, etc. But BulloDekko always manages to get his tentacles into you because it's just like, it's a pressure cooker. It's just these people are stuck on a boat and they're just getting crazier and crazier and, you know, and we're here to watch it all happen and there's water everywhere

and we got drunk gas and we got caps and captainly getting mad and an encroaching pandemic. I mean, the season has it all. Yeah, it sure does. So we start where we left off Dolores Ursula the Sea Witch. It's not gonna go on a four-pecker go. And she jumped in the water even though she was told that she wasn't allowed to and the captain has just yelled, no charter is over! Yeah, your charter is over and so Dolores lumbars back onto the boat and everything and then

her friend goes, walk by all your friends and shame. Which was kind of funny. Because the captain's like, all right, she was in the water, she's drunk She stepped over the line. So we're headed back to the dock all right like shame shame And Dolores says I just told I could swim and he's like you were not Like he is not taking anything from her and Dolores really did have that just little look like a a tiny little smile, like she was gonna cry, but also laugh.

And, you know, sorry to admit it, kind of loved Laura. I know. She's awful. She's awful. She was invited. Yeah, she's awful. Put her on a different Bravo show, you know? Like, let's still see more of her.

So Captain Lee goes up to go to sleep and the other guests are putting Delores to bed. And he's, get her ass put away now, put her down. She kept on saying put her down, which was sad because it made it sound like, you know, it was horrible. Yeah, like the yearling or something. So, which I never read, but my mom told me about and I like nearly cried in an Indian restaurant when she told me about it My mom's like in the end the dad makes the son kill the deer and I was like mom I was like something and that was the day he became a man and I was like literally crying into my non so Anyways trying into my non. So, anyways.

Sorry to spoil the year link, everyone. I know it's worth it. I think you just made the year link worth it for everybody who had to suffer through that shit. I never, did you read it? Yes, and my other one was the day, no pigs.way. The day the pigs stopped screaming. Did you ever have to read that one?

No, I read where the redfern grows though. Oh God, so many depressing books, they make us read as children. And now of course you don't have to. You know, now you just get a fucking hug and an end of video game. No, no, now you sit and watch the art of racing in the rain, which I had a whole thing about.

Like here's the thing you heard to move. You are obsessed with the art of racing in the rain. No, I'm obsessed with people who want to watch it because before the pandemic, when we're flying a lot for live shows, I swear to God, every flight, everyone was watching that show at all times, and not show that movie, and everyone would cry. And if I had to watch freaking Amanda, what's her face, slow dance with what's his face from heroes,

and this is us, Milo Ventimilia, one more time on someone else's seat back. I was just gonna lose it. I was gonna lose it. I was gonna lose it. You know, people take pills for different things entertainment-wise, you know, some people wanna laugh and they're, you know, that's usually me. I'm like, hey, I've saved this Melissa McCarthy movie.

But then some people are like, you know what I wanna do in public? Cry, suck, I wanna sound public want to do in public? Cry, so I want to save in public. Yeah, don't be, I haven't people learn their lessons. Like I learned my lesson when I watch Coco on a plane and I was in a hoodie and I had that thing. Like I, I, I, I pulled down the strings on my hoodie so tightly so no one could see me sobbing.

I'm like, I will never watch a sad movie on a plane ever again. You know if there's a dog in a movie, the dog will die. It's just what, it's what dog movies are all about. You were like the gay and the girls. She's like, she doesn't even think of her. Okay, so here we are. So the little Frenchesca goes down to do an imitation

of everything that just happened, like to tell the story in Frenchesca's the worst storyteller. She's like, first of all, our decorated a very decent table. Then the Lord's walked past my decent table where she passed a very lazy person named Elizabeth. It's like, get to the meat franchise. Okay. Yeah. So, Francesca tells Rachel what happened. And Rachel's like, wow, she sounds like she really delicat all over the boat. Does it, you know, you know, we know what

delicat means? Does it look like a give a fuck? Dilligaff, you'll see it later in the episode when I say my semol song. Chitties. South of the coming soon. So Elizabeth's like, yeah, I saw her mermaid necklace and I was like, whoa, you're like a mermaid. Get your swimming.

Elizabeth always making the vital connections in life. I saw a mermaid necklace and I was like, you a mermaid. Hahaha. So the guests are like, oh, the captain's best. We're all in trouble. And then the captain's on the radio. And he's like, all right, crew, here's the deal.

I cannot take a chance that Ursula gets back into the water. All right, we'll have a typhoon on our hands. All right, I need someone at the top of the stairs to make sure that he then stays in our room. Okay. Eddie, I want you to attach a very pointy object to the front of this yacht in case I had to do something unthinkable to Dolores, okay?

Okay. And then one of the guests goes into Dolores' room and she's like, Dolores, you really fucked our whole chart. And she's like, I did nothing. I didn't do nothing. You did. I did it. I didn't.

Belligerent asks Dolores. Dolores with a DE. So then Izzy starts waking me up and she's asking to see if everything's okay and volunteering to help, etc. And then so she like offers to stay awake a little bit. And then James and Elizabeth are taking down decorations and everything. And James is like bragging about something stupid. He's like, oh I could so easily have a coffee and be awake till 7 a.m. I could so easily do that. I'm like, well, then do it. Do that because everyone else can have to stay awake for you Yeah, watch for Dolores from fucking Dolores So where are we? Okay, the scenes in this episode last probably a quarter of a second by the way Yeah, you don't remember the seminal scene where where James bragged about being able to drink coffee and be up until 7am

You don't remember that scene. It was so such an important scene. I can't believe I didn't write that window It's like the only thing I didn't write down in this episode and she's like, you know what you shouldn't have a hat like this Look you're in a hat right now You look like an important business man and stuff. So then, um, uh, so then Eddie wakes up robbed, be like, you have to be on duty for this. And Francesco wakes up ashrling. They're bitch waiting. We can use people up to say it to be up at 5.30 in the morning.

They're not going to get a lot of sleep. That's like important, an important foundation for what happens next. And then they pass the loris's door with the camera and you just hear. And you grab my little finger. And the moon. And I'm like, anything out. I am like, anything out. So, um, so all this pet of it. And it's so, um, pain. And then, um, so then, so then James, so while all this stuff is happening, James is like, ladies, you want to come and cuddle in the bed, cuddle in the bed, because Izzy is up in the living

room area, just hanging out, doing that thing where she's like, got like the top of her, she's like playing with something on her chin or something. So they get into James's bed, just have a cuddle, and then he's like, who long to your front? And next thing you know, he's like, like full on, like bunny rabbit. Rabbit in her. He is.

He is. He is very like, bbbbbbbb've seen a lot of Bravo and I've watched a lot of Love Island and this was like some of the most aggressive, you know, infrared sexing that's happened on TV I've seen. It really is. It was very construction worker like guy who puts down the cones kind of fucking, you know, it's like, I know, I was like, Dom, stop hitting fast forward and it's like, oh no, this was playing in like normal speed. That was just like, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Yeah, and you just hear like the flopping here like a I was like oh Elizabeth is making that sound that we've we've all made like let's face it where you're just like oh Oh

Okay, so this is what I'm getting this is it like you're this hot and this is how you fuck oh Yeah like you're this hot and this is how you fuck. Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. It was a very hesitant, oh yeah. Yeah, she's like, yeah. I think she seemed happy with the experience overall because I think in her mind it was like, first step towards falling in love. Yeah, in her mind it's like the fucking notebook, you know, but in real life, you're like being banged

by some cone layer under a tent sheet. Pretty much, that's bad, that there it is. So then Izzy, she's upstairs eating potato chips, and then she's like, well, I'm done with my shift up here. I'm gonna go to sleep. So she goes downstairs and then she's like, well, I'm done with my, my shift up here. I'm gonna go to sleep. So she goes downstairs and she's like, oh, gold. Is this bit in here? Oh, it smells like a sweaty, manky hostel in here. Like it's peril. So she's disgusted and so she has to grab all her stuff and get into Elizabeth's bed instead because she's not gonna be in her bed. And in the process of getting into her bed,

she of course wakes up Ashling, and Ashling who already has to wake up early to take care of Delores. So there's already chaos. Yeah, and it's like, she goes, she gets to go back to her room finally. And so she's like, I'm just making this clear boy, no fucking underneath me.

Is that what it smells like revolting in here? It's revolting, it's like, it was a cuddle. It was a cuddle. I thought she'd be going in five minutes. So then Izzy has to, so then Lizbeth is like, I'm so sorry, you can go back to your bed now. I'll take this bed now. You know, Ash, you can be quiet up there.

I only just got my own way a bit. So now Izzy goes back to her bed. And somehow during this process, Rob got woken up, I guess. How did Rob get woken up? Did Rob get woken up? I don't know. I don't even, I don't need, sometimes I'm like, is Rob moving?

Like, is this on pause? Because Rob pulls those shots of Rob, where it's just completely still. I can't even tell if he's talking. He's just staring straight ahead. Yeah. Like he's being lobotomized all the time. Who knows? So then the next day they wake up and we just get a scene of Captain in different spots

in the bridge. It's like, yeah, so. Hold on. I'm going to sign by the by the big steering wheel thing. Hold on. All right. I'm going to be the big steering wheel thing. Hold on. All right, I'm gonna be on the couch over here. Hold on. Cut.

All right, play. Goddamn. He's having lots of thoughts. Yeah. I think we're all over the place. So ultimately, he calls up Eddie and Cheth to the bridge and he says, I'm gonna kick off the problem child. I think that's what we're gonna do.

And then I'm gonna talk to the primaries and see if they're okay with it. And if not, they're gonna have to rearrange their priorities. Yeah, so they've just decided to kick Dolores off but let everyone else stay. So, the first guest is up and Francesca is very human resources here. She's not very servicy here.

She's like you're in trouble. So she says, I think the captain lead would like to speak with you. Let's go over here. All right, please follow me. Please leave your pins in the desk. Those are company discs. All right, now your badge isn't going to work to get into this whole way anymore. Sorry about that.

You did it to yourself. Get in front of you. I'm afraid I'm going to work to get into this whole way anymore. Sorry about that you did it to yourself I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take away those stripes from you that you were almost about in all right I just like doing that has nothing to do with yours. So they so Tina Tina and the other guy they like sit down and Capital is like hang you doing and Tina's like Not so great. She's like, well, she's gotta go. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Get her ass out of the blue.

I think that's the best call. She's the only fuck up, the rest shouldn't be punished, all right? As long as they're good with that, she's toast. Speaking of, can I have some Cheerios? I know that's my toast. That's delicious. How long does a captain have to have a cross-feed montage in the bridge before someone brings

them some nourishment? I know we're supposed to think that's about Dolores, but it's really about waiting on his Cheerios. And we have Cheerios or Lucky Charmonds today. What will it be? So then Mark goes over to Dolores and he's like, we've talked've talked to the captain Because I was swimming you didn't only go swimming Dolores you went swimming and then you went swimming multiple times Okay, it was multiple offense swimming and she's like, you know what Mark? I thought we weren't gonna let someone tell us no no more

That's what we said we said you know what we're not gonna do let anybody tell us no That's what we said. We said, you know what we're not going to do? Let anybody tell us. No. And by the way, Dolores, in an effort to like I believe to try to win over everyone back after her bad behavior, she has now like, she's done her bangs. Like, she like, she blew dry her bangs, her hair is sort of like soft and banged up. And she's like, she has like a chipper thing at first. She's like, hi, hi. But then she's like, I thought no one's gonna tell us to say no anymore, which is like, you're rich already. No one has been saying no to you. I don't know because last week,

how they described Dolores, because captain was like, oh, you just live on your boat. She goes, yeah, and where I live is really, really expensive. So I don't know if Dolores is really a rich person. I think she's like a crazy lady who lives on a boat, like a cheap slip somewhere and those these other people and somehow got on this trip because nobody gave a fuck that Dolores had to leave.

They were like, thank God, that crazy lady's out of here. I know. And as soon as she started to misbehave, like the person who like advocated for Dolores to come onto the boat, as soon as Dolores started to misbehave, everyone was like, she's your friend. She's your friend. So I think they were happy to drop her, you know? But obviously, I feel like that people don't say note

to her often because I feel like they probably never wanted her to be there, but everyone was too scared to tell her, no, you can't be on this trip with us. So I think that they say yes to Dolores a lot. Yeah, Dolores is someone you say yes to in life because you're terrified of them. We all have a Dolores. So Francesca steps in and Francesca,

as you said, is in human resource mode. And she goes, well, it's a safety issue. We say yes as much as possible on a CPR, but when it comes to safety, that's just paramount. Yeah. So please gather your things, get the pictures of your baby heaps just off the wall. It's time to get no more water cooler for you. Do not try and slip one of those little packets of Swiss mist into your piracy, though, because we're watching you, ma'am. All right. Here's the box that it comes with the lid.

You can put it in there. You're allowed to take that plump. Have you ever been fired from an office? No, I'm a, I'm a responsible worker. And I also not worked at an office in a very long time. Well, it's been a long time. I took everything out of there. I was taking the stapler.

I took the fucking granola bars out of the kitchen. I was so mad. I took the Swiss mispackets. I took everything that of there. I was taking the stapler. I took the fucking granola bars out of the kitchen. I was so mad. I took the Swiss mispackets. I took everything that wasn't nailed down. So fringes just goes, and then I got home and I was like, congratulations. You've got a stapler with my career. Where'd you get hard from?

Well, I was temping at the Big Magazine place. What's like the big magazine publisher? Time live. No. Condenast. Yes, condenast. I was temping there in New York when I was God, I was working for Anna Wentore, weren't you?

Anna Wentore's office. No, I was working, I think GQ, I think it was, is that a magazine that they have? It was like some men's magazine. And I got fired because I wasn't professional enough because I was it was, is that a magazine that they have? It was like some men's magazine. And I got fired because I wasn't professional enough because I was always like, Hi, how are you? Hi!

And they're like, Ronnie, you don't need to smile to everybody and say hi. Like no one wants to sit here and talk to the secretary. You know? And I was like, yes they do. The being warm is how you do it. So I'd be like, hi, she'll be right with you. You know?

Because I was like fresh in New York. You being like a churri temp at Condé Nast is the funniest layer we pulled off this onion so far this year. I mean like every time you always have these anecdotes, Ronnie. And now it's like, oh, I was brought into Condé Nast and I was a temp. Like you just even temp the at Condé Nast is hilarious. And then that. Like you just even temp the Condé and asked is hilarious and then that they fired you. And I fully believe it was Emily Blunt who fired you. That's like, let's, whatever you say in my mind,

it's gonna be Emily Blunt. Well, I've never liked her. I will tell you that. So maybe it is protection, I don't know, but I took fucking everything from there and they had good granola bars. They were like hot quality. Okay, so anyway, Francesca, yeah.

You were even a full-time worker there. No, but I was like on the track, you know, because they liked me at first, because I was nice, who would crack jokes and stuff, but I really was just so lonely sitting at a desk, you know. I was much more acclimated. I was much more well suited to waiting tables and stuff, where you could do that.

But yeah, just sitting there all day with no one to talk to in the front office, it's like, what do you do? How do you do? Like, I'm a super model or whatever. No one wants to talk to the temp. Guess what? I would love to hear the temp, because the temp is me. I would love to hear their side.

They're like, actually we fired him because he like broken to one of our like bank accounts and you're like, I was fired because I was just too happy. I would love to hear like what they're real stories. Cause I'm like, as I'm listening to this, I'm like, wait a second. You were fired for stealing from hell. He was fired because he was fired because he broke our zero ox machine or something like you know, like actually like a human file, that was like something extremely serious,

like a thing that you did. You're like, I was just too happy. What can I say? Okay, well, that's fair. So, Francesca's like, it's safety, drop the Swiss mess. All right, me of this in America. This is why I'm so human-result,

source is he about this, because I was on a yacht once, and it was nighttime, and a guy said, guess what? I'm gonna human resource is he about this because I was on a yacht once and it was nighttime and a guy said guess what I'm gonna go free diving And we said no don't go free diving and he did and then he never returned So it's about rules. I was like, can I get the end of this? I know the end like didn't I like did they literally just never find the guy because I'm interested his name was Bradley Woods God it's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

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And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. She just makes it up. She's like, I'll bet you the lore. She's like, the key of them hits is sorry to get you off the y-diver.

Now, now now 10 minutes when can I expect you to front the loris 10 minutes or like I'll be waiting So um yeah, so Dolores packs up all her stuff and then Rob brings her brings her bag to Zach Who's like the second engineer whatever who's gonna be manning the tender and Rob's like, well, if we drop it, at least we know she can swim far. Ha ha ha ha. And so then Dolores, you know, she hops onto the tender and everything and the guests are just like all too happy to see her leave. They're like, we came to have fun and that's a fun record, fun record. Fun record, fun record, Dolores!

You're so fun records, you should serve ham, ham bankers. Fun records. Sorry, I was trying to work with fun records you should serve ham ham bankers Fun records. Sorry. I was trying to work with fun records in there. Couldn't do fun record fun record So then Dolores winds up on it. I couldn't work that in and that's when I got fired from condo nice They're like Ronnie. We have a various important the sun for you. Okay, we're doing a side bar and Vogue and Anna wants something about for you, okay? We're doing a sidebar and vogue, and Anna wants something about Fudruckus. What can you bring us, and you're like, fun record, get him out.

Get it, get it, get it, get it. Then drop the granola's. So then we see Dolores on the little tender being taken back, and she goes, hey, he'd be kind of ironic if I jumped her out, jumped off right now, wouldn't it? And I started cracking up just like this fucking Dolores and then she did it. I know that was the, that was the, you just think it's like a joke.

And then you just see her jump right off because she's like, fuck these guys. No one's gonna tell me no anymore. So she jumps off and then Captain Lee's like, she hopped off the tender. Get, damn it! That was so great. I love you Dolores. I'm the big, I'm sorry I called you Ursula the Sea Witch. I love Dolores now.

I know, I'm like, I'm sorry I called you Ursula the Sea Witch. Now I will call you Ursula the Sea Witch, like in a positive way. Yeah, because my hero of Disney movies is Ursula the Sea Witch. She actually unseeded Cruella for me. Wow, two gay icons. I mean, it's kind of funny because we're sitting here saying that she's like Cruella, I'm sorry, she's like Ursula,

but then we remember that we all love Ursula. So, they're all kind of cracking up on the boat. Is he cracking up and Ashting is cracking up? And captain's like, yeah, damn it. It's definitely that, like, if it were a sitcom, it would be that moment where Captain Lee would say, damn, and then it would freeze on him, and you hear, da, da, da, da, da,

as like Paul Junker with created by, you know, and then like the end music goes on. But it's not. You know what, I've never been a big eye told you so guy, but, yep, called that one. Yeah, damn it. And Rachel's like, you know what, from now on, I'm going to say, but I'm not going to say, bye, Felicia. I'm going to say, bye Dolores. Vat Dolores. Speaking of Rachel, we then go through a 45 minute montage of Rachel making French toasts. French toasts? We aren't going to make French toasts today.

Okay, here's the, here's the, here's the, here's the best of metal on the French toasts because I mean, you know, the best of metal. French toast, French toast, French toast, French toast. I'm like, why are we watching so much French toasts? French toasts. And also, could I have some French toasts? I would love some. Yeah, and don't forget the Exbany because there was, that was like, the Exbany.

There's a lot of Exbany. Yeah, look at this bulbous thing about to pop. Yes, that's a cream on top. And then Elizabeth walks in and she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, that's good ex-penny. Yeah, she's like, oh, look, there's some ex-penny did. So then since they have 15 minutes extra fill,

let's watch that anchor come up. Hey, the anchor is muddy. We got a muddy anchor today, guys. That's a good 30 seconds worth. Okay, we only have 14 minutes and 30 more seconds to fill up. So Eddie and Izzy are talking and he's like, yeah, just sleep. And she says, oh, terribly, my third roommate. So then we see Ashley telling Francesca. Oh, I hit easy coming to my room at 3.30 in the morning because Elizabeth and James were Cuddling. Cuddling.

Yeah. Cuddling. Cuddling and Francesca's like, well, that's not cool. And Ashley gets, no. So then Francesca's like, well that's not cool and Ashley gets, no. So, so then Francesca's like, well I'm sorry. Francesca goes up to Izzy and goes, I'm really sorry that you had a stupid mustard gas making slut in your room, disturbing you

and that she never happened and I apologize to you even though I do hate you too, because you were talking to you about me. But I hate Lizbeth more. So I'm sorry to you, Lizzy. Yeah, I'm very sorry to you, Lady I almost fired before she picked up a broom and went outside. We made you well for all the slowness that you're going to bring to the boat.

You're very, very important to this boat. Would you like a granola bar? Anyway, except James, to get us asked to work. Good morning sunshine. He's got to say sunshine. Yeah, because he's got to get to bed. So then let's see, is he Liz and Rob Elizabeth gets up and say, you guys have an up to is she gone already?

Where's some worries? Why the happened? She was like a mermaid because she had a mermaid tail necklace. Is Benedict Cumberbatch coming up or because there's Benedict eggs on the table? Oh, good. So Ezzy is very grumpy. She's sick and grumpy.

She's annoyed and she says, my fuse today is that fucking short, which is about as angry she ever gets, but that's fine. Yes. Short fuse today. And they're laughing because James walks into the mess and he's like, morning love. Oh, oh, it's trying to give her like 10 sheet, 10 eyes or whatever. And Rob's like, what is he smiling about and this is like

You know, is he smiling at me? I have no idea I thought I saw a pretty deck and last night, but I'm not gonna say anything So then Francesca Francesca is furious because she hates Elizabeth and just like you know Francesca is furious because she hates Elizabeth and just like, you know, she's just ready. Anything she can use to fire her is what she wants. So she's ready to go to Captain Lee and you know, just be like She was sleeping around, but Eddie is like, alright, alright, alright, let's look like Somardown. You're like a historical woman right now. You're barking up the wrong tree if you go to Captain Lee. Let's have a, Let's have an intervention. See how I went from like a bro Eddie to camp counselor Eddie

in like one sentence. I pivoted, I pivoted the impersonation. Most pivoted. Yeah, that would be barking up the wrong tree. And she's like, we'll then don't call him up my fucking tree. But she agrees. And then the anchor, the stuff happens. And then the guests are talking about Dolores jumping,

and one of the guys is like, yeah, I think we're better off. It's like, God, poor Dolores. I'm sorry that Dolores is a fucking hero. Okay, just go on being boring, you lame asses. Keep hearing no. Hey, guess what you're gonna get with your ex-benetic today? Aside of no loser.

Okay. Okay. Dolores is sort of like where I always thought I wanna take today. A side of no loser. You know? Really? Look at her. She sort of looks like, like, Karen Allen, I'm sorry. Karen Allen, I feel like Karen Allen, like, is it, is it, we're talking, yeah. Karen Allen, I feel like, like Delores is where I thought Karen Allen would wind up.

Oh, yeah. Similar, similar vibes for sure. Maybe it's the bass. The bass, it's the bass. Yeah, I think it's the Karen, the Karen Allen, uh, banks. Okay, so Rachel begins her song that lasts the rest of the show. Yeah, and that goes on for a surprisingly long time with like a small interlude of Ashling walking in being like, oh, the Korean da, the Korean is delicious. And Ashley tries to get in on it.

And she's like, So, so fair, they should know my fucking song for me. So, so fair, let me just get out. Get out of my song. Get out of my song. It's my song, okay. So then Francesco calls a provisional. That's exciting.

And then, guess, go down a slide. And is he, then we see is he just with James and she's just pissed, she's angry, still grumpy, rightfully so. And Rob is like, uh, any attention here. And she goes, oh, I'm just toyed. And Rob does a whole stick about how they're basically like an old married couple.

So that happens. And then, and then there's going to be some horseback riding. And so Izzy is assigned to horseback riding because she loves horses, because she was the weird horse girl growing up. And she got a job at McDonald's to pay for her horse passion. So this is the culmination of that. Is her going to be going to walk ride ponies with the guests. Yes. And she says growing up, yeah, she was the weird horse girl.

And I got my fist job at McDonald's at 14 to help Lisa horse, which is crazy. Cause I was like, is this true? Are you, are you, are you a bridge? What the hell's happening here? I need to know more about Izzy and this story to you. So then Eddie and James are talking and Eddie's like, so how's it with you and Liz? Are you sure everything's going okay? Because Francesca has voiced some concerns about you. And I'm going to have to have a talk with you and Elizabeth about work ethic because that's what Dad would do. And be nice to Izzy, you crazy kid. Oh my pay a compliment later.

It's like, okay, great. So now we, to that, and that's like coming up and there's like the coming up thing, or may have happened right before this, but the coming up was a lady on Jetsky. And they're like, for this, for this, for this, for this. So now it actually happens. And now that we see the lady on the Jetsky and they're like, and she like, it doesn't know how to reverse and she just sort of like bobs into the boat, you know

Yeah, and they get her off and it's fine I'm like really you built an entire like Cliff hanger a tease around the fact that is like this entire scene was This reverse okay come on board. All right, everything's fine and Rob's like was I to blame for that? Should I have told him better? And no, not Rob. James is like, was I to blame for that?

And Rob's like, yeah, you're to blame because she took one look into your beautiful eyes and she couldn't take it anymore. We are hilarious together. I had four brothers and they put me in a suitcase and then they left me in the park. So it's really nice to have a true brother here. Ha ha ha.

We're like two magnets. The class we get is stronger. Our attraction gets. And if we swallow each other, we'll probably have to go to the hospital. So then the guests go on horses and Rachel's just talking to herself in the kitchen eating. Yeah, there's alcohol in that mango. And then he gets like falls off the tender into the surf, which is always funny. I you know, one thing that this show really gets right is the hilarity of watching people fall off tenders into water.

Like every season, multiple times it happens, and it's always satisfying. It's always, always satisfying. So Eddie comes up and Rob's like, the good news is the guest had a good ride. I will leave the bad news to James. James's like, well, ladyhood to jet ski, but it looks like everything's okay.

And Eddie says, who was it? And then he goes Karen. And then he's like, of course it was a fucking Karen. And yeah, and then he gets like very, he starts projecting lots of class rage onto her. He's like, I knew these people be like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, just crashing jet skis with no, with like no, no, like concern.

I'm like, I get it. These people have not been great, but I think that she just didn't really know how to operate the jet ski. I don't think it was her just being just rich and feckless and having no care for the jet ski. I think she just didn't know what she was doing. Yeah. You know, his hatred did seem a little unfounded,

but hey, who am I to judge unfounded hatred? I love it. I swim in every day. I know. I know. So now they're like riding the ponies and stuff like that and And if you notice that the camera man was like okay, Eddie hates this lady Karen who Eddie hates this lady, so let's just like camera hate this lady too

Because I kept cutting the air in me or Eddie be like god damn that lady and then back to the lady trying to feed the pony and apple She's like, oh am I doing it right? Yeah, why are we dragging this lady over the coals for feeding an apple to a horse? I know. They're trying to make it seem like she's so rich in titles. She doesn't know how to live a real American's life. And it's like, I think it's not like every person in America knows how to feed a pony and Apple.

Okay, I probably would be the same, you know me, although I'm not an example of every person in America. I am very like, how do I do that? But still, you're right, they told me, dragger for that one second, just being this like elitist, helpless bitch. Look at stupid Karen with her stupid apples. They're like, please don't bite me horse, please.

Oh, it didn't bite me. Not bitch. Bitch, you should not have heat up. Oh, if you're a real American, you know how to feed a pony and stop a jet ski So Rachel's like so what kind of service we gonna do tonight Francesca and Francesca says will Tonight the theme is extravaganza, so however you want to do that I just think extravaganza everything and Rachel's like oh Yeah, I love the word extravaganza. So however you want to do that, I just think extravaganza everything. And Rachel's like,

oh yeah, I love the word extravaganza. I'm gonna say it again, extravaganza. I think I like the gonsa part of it, extravaganza. And this, by the way, continues for the rest of the episode. Like really trying to sell us on the extravaganza joke for a long time. And I'm not, I'm not gonna judge as

someone who will drive a joke into the ground multiple times over multiple recaps over multiple years. Okay, I'm not gonna judge. I'm just pointing out it's happening. It was so much to see. And then what's Liz doing? She's still terrible to Liz dropping the ironing board on the ground. And then let's just say, Like, huh? This is like a time it's happened to season. The first time it happened in like one of those quick cutaways, like maybe even like in like one of those 24 montages. But it's like, it happened again. You still don't know how to keep the,

you still don't know how to lock the ironing board in place. She's like, oopsies. Oopsies. No, it's. No, it's. No, it. No, it. No, it's... No, it's... No, it's... No, it's...

So, the guest return and they get fresh towels and all that and Rachel's got some corn fritters in the fryer and Francesca's like, I'm gonna take a mate because I look perfect now which was very nice, but they also look kinda burnt to me. So, it's really waiting for Francesca to get it over that, but she never did.

I agree. I thought they were totally burnt. Yeah. They look burnt to me. Not a hip. Not an old hip. Old hip. Old hip.

So then James tries to go and apologize to Izzy, you know, for what happened last night. He's like, Izzy, can I talk to you about last night? And she's like, I'm literally about to shit and shower and shave, like literally. And he's like, well, why are you acting so tough all of a sudden? And she's like, yeah.

And then he tried to make a joke because Ashling is right there. And he was like, well, this never would have happened if you'd moved in with me, Ashling. And she goes, miss out, didn't you? So Francesca goes to the captain and she's like, well, I've got good news and terrible news, just kidding about the good news. The guests would like you to have dinner with him tonight and he's like, ah, god damn it.

You know what? I don't want them to feel responsible for Ursula finally getting taken down. All right. So that's where I get paid the big bucks. My ability to suck it up at a white shirt with a big black palm tree on it. Right? So now it's time for mom and dad to have a talk with the kids. So Eddie and Francesca, they're going to have their meeting with Elizabeth and James.

And Francesca's like, Elizabeth, Elizabeth, could you come to the aff deck, please? No, I can't even see you, but I can already see you're trying to walk into a closet. That's not the way to the F-deck. Is this their case? Please come to the F-deck. All right, Elizabeth, now you're on a jet ski. All right, the F-deck. All right.

Elizabeth, please put down the bleach and the chlorine and come see us on the F-deck, thank you. Yeah, we need you on the F-de dick. Or why? So she comes in like, just come in the room, please. And that he is like, bring your boo. That means you James. So they, yeah, they come up and Lizbeth is like, I feel like I'm in trouble. I'm like, you are in trouble. Actually, so funny that you feel that way. Yeah. Um, and he's like, all right, listen here. Obviously you're hooking up, which I'm happy about.

I love people hooking up, but we need things compartmentalized, okay? And is he's listening from above? She's like thrown herself on the roof of the next, her next deck to hear what they're saying. And then we cut to commercial, because this is like, oh my God, what's gonna happen? So at least like, oh, well, here we are back from commercial. Still glad you're hooking up, all right?

Compartmentalized. Compartmentalized. And Francesca's like, listen, last night you're both disruptive and we had to go with the shift work after an emergency and you two took advantage of that to make a shent a tent sheet thought and make a lovy dovy. So listen, um, don't let spending time together affect your working environment. Yeah, but the way you're always telling me to get on dick, if you don't want me to get on dick,

I'm saying get on dick. All right. No, no, no, dick. I just don't understand your accent though. It's just very hard for me. I can't understand you. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I'm surprised that when Eddie said that we have to work on compartmentalization that Austin didn't jump up and say, oh, compartmentalize. She doesn't even know how to use that word. She doesn't even know what that word is.

That's used a different word compartmentalize. Uh-oh. See, it's just a girl. She doesn't know where it's like that. I'm seeing right now. I'm seeing this guy this young. So, yeah, so Eddie is like, well, look how far I've come, I've come a long way. I know something about hook up with crew.

And we see a flashback to him in Rocky. And I'm like, yeah, but you still have, like, let's not overlook the fact that not only were you hooking up with Rocky, but you totally gaslit her. And she's already crazy enough as it is. But what you do is a douchey thing and we'll always hold you accountable for it. Yeah, they definitely left out the clips of him

lying about it all season. Yeah, I'm making her seem like she was the crazy person. Yeah. But she is, but not for that. So now Rachel's with those lobsters. Finally, we're seeing what happened to those lobsters and and James is James and Elizabeth are commiserating and he's like

Francesca's just looking for a reason taking another striple for you. That's what she likes to do, you know, you know You want to go for a drink tomorrow? The secret is that we're dating we're ramping up. We're gonna get a few drinks and if he gets them off the breakfast Good. No one cares. Just stop leaving your fuck smells all over the boat. Okay, it's all right We're ramping up. We're gonna get a few drinks and if he gets them off the breakfast No one cares just stop leaving your fuck smells all over the boat. Okay. It's all everybody is asking sir And he goes, oh, it's locker room you and Juliet's story. I'm like you know I'll walk you to the I'll walk you to the plank sir I'm like listen, I mean I guess they're saying that because of, uh, you know, uh, what's it called?

There were a lot of departments. Oh, hi. Different to part. He doesn't know Romeo and Juliet. I think that's just all he could think of. He couldn't think of Lady in the tramp, you know, which is the one where they'd like suck spaghetti together. What you know is like, for him, that would be his notebook if he ever saw that.

Yeah. Lating the tramp is does not translate well to COVID times. I'll tell you that much. Not a dozen. Sure doesn't. Get a mask on dogs. Sharon Spaghetti. Sharon Spaghetti.

That's actually, there's actually someone that Captain Leah knows. Her name is Sharon Spaghetti. Well, I called up Sharon Spaghetti and she didn't approve of that movie either. So, uh, came for a service extravaganza! All right, here's what I'm gonna do. And cod, done, beef, done, smash some lobster on that. Fucking amazing.

It's an extravaganza. Guess what else is got? Fuck the fucking day,ucking bail, bail. That's a weirdy. So Captain Lee is with Eddie in the bridge and he knows he has to go to dinner and he's like, ah, bastard. So then James comes into the galley and he's like, what's going on Rachel? Do you need any extra hands?

Do ya? And she's like, nah I'm okay. And then she tells us, I don't like James. Not a fan, yeah. Not a fan. He doesn't really do anything. Yeah, he just stands there and holds a talent poses.

I mean, the last person someone is classy and Elizabeth should be fraternizing with. I mean, dude, that douche. I love Rachel's hate for James. Like, it started to come out, I guess, like last episode or so, or maybe the one before that, but, uh, now it's just in full bloom. And it, it's not like there have been any incidents where you think, like, oh, she's gonna hate him. It just, it just sort of arrived and it's here, and I like it.

Yeah, and then the captains with the guests now, and they bring out the lobsters, and it's so, so many lobsters. It's then they're huge. And he's like, well, you know, I'd rather be doing a lot more than eating with the guests, but I got admitted. I've never seen so many dead lobsters in my life. Yeah, that's right.

This is this seafood of Trevaganza has definitely got the vegansa. So Francesca goes up to Elizabeth and she's like, you're okay. Oh, my feet are killing me. Oh, we're going to take 15. No, no, I can't take 15. I gotta just keep moving. You know, I'm antsy and I'm going to get things done so bad. I just got to work. I love to work. I'm no break for me. It's like a war. Great thing. Great thing. Yeah.

And then we got to Rob who goes, you know what? The pirate, you know what? Raise the pirate got in school. What? High seas. That's a nice lapper. How do you, how do you win juice boxes in school? I don't get it.

No, never mind. So then Elizabeth goes and sits down with James and Rob and then they're talking shit about Francesca, you know. She's so mean. And they're calling her a demon and everything. And of course, Francesca walks by and then stares angrily at them, which is a first news, not only at their right, it's their duty to stare daggers at people.

And so then Elizabeth is like, I cannot win with Francesca. I want us to get along and I want it to be happy with me, but I can't win with her. So, um, so then they go back up to the, now we go back up to the table. We're dinners being served. And Elizabeth comes back to help out Francesca at the table. And they have this hilarious past of aggressive fight about this break that she just said. So good. So you're mad at me. Well, you were just sitting there talking to people. But you told me to take a break. But you said you weren't going to. But I did. Just tell me if you're gonna take a break. They'd be quiet now

because they're a guest sitting right over there. You idiot. All right. I'm sorry. because they're guessing right. Over there, you eat it, all right? I'm sorry! So sorry! Okay, stop talking when I'm talking, okay? Stop talking, okay, stop moving your lips too. I know, no noises coming out, but stop moving your lips too, okay?

Let's stop all the functions, all at once, all right. Okay, I'm sorry. So basically what happened was, because at first I was like, wow, Francesca did tell her to take a break, and she took a break, and now she's mad at it. But then it's like, oh, Francesca did tell her to take a break and she took a break and now she's mad at it. But then it's like, oh, she didn't tell her she was taking the break.

So Francesca was like, where's my stews that she'd be working? Yeah. So then Francesca's cleaning up and she's in the little Butler pantry or whatever with Rob. And they're trying to talk, but Rob has just sat there and listened to his friends saying that this one's horrible and she's the devil and they all hate her, so he's even more awkward

than usual, like more quiet. And she's like, well, look at you, Canada, huh? God, I love Canada. He's like, yeah. So do your parents live in Canada? Yeah. Oh, see a close. That's nice.

Close to your parent. You ever had Canada dry? Good said, right? Yeah. Oh, see, a close, that's nice, close to your parent. You ever had Canada dry? Good said, right? Yeah. Q, Atlanta's more set, you like hair? Yeah. Poutine and McDonald's, that's something.

Yeah. Well, when I first met Rob, I had high hopes, but just talking to him, it's like, nothing. There's nothing there're not into it. Yeah. So meanwhile, on the, you know, at the dinner, dinner is less raucous, although that one lady, her marching glass fell over and Captain Lee's like, that's what I call alcohol abuse. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So they toast to Dolores, which then makes Captain Lee's proclamation true. Dolores is toast.

She is literally a toast right now when you're toasting Dolores. Don't ever say I'm not a witch. So it's bedtime and Rachel goes to bed and saying I'm so tired I'm turning into one big pile of rotten shit. Shit, shit, fair day. pile of rotten shit. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE She wakes up feeling sick again and Eddie's like, what are your symptoms? All right, yeah, all right, you're gonna stay down. Stay down, go wake up James, get in the bed and stay there. So she does, she sends him out to work instead and then some eggs, Benny porn,

for anyone who likes watching cream being pulled over a nice lumpy. I do. I do like that and Eddie's like, morning cap, I put Lizzy down So I was great having her here with us on earth, but now we put her down I was like, oh do you have the cold to flu? I don't know, but you know what she's sick

So he says that is he's gonna get in the guest room tonight, you know and you know what when you get somebody that's not feeling Not feeling good. Yeah, you isolate them, okay? You don't need your whole crew coming down with it and possibly infecting the guests. Well, what a great idea. What a novel idea, a way to avoid getting sick is for people to stay away from each other. What a great idea.

So put her in the room that the guests who are paying a lot of money to stay here can wallow in her and all of her germs. Okay. Lose that too. So then anchor up, anchor up. So who cares? There's a pali can. There's a pali can.

The guests are packing. There's a pali can. It's time to dock. Good job, Eddie. You attacked it and goes, thanks, Cap. I like the way she's sitting. Which I don't know. That annoyed me.

I don't know why. The camera men are like, all right, listen, we fired the guy who is mean to is mean to Karen all right, so we're gonna do a really helpful scene here about how entertaining you guys are without Dolores All right ladies. I will need you at the front there. Okay rolling Wow, yeah, you know what all I can say is wow seriously though Wow All right, you know what? Get the lures back. Someone. But I net the water, all right?

I'm about to say, the lures is just an a fishing net on the dock, like with a bunch of like, flapping tunas. So, they got me. What can I say? So then, I guess, we're hugging goodbye, and the primary, she's uh, some other guest are hugging goodbye and, you know, the primary.

She's like, I'm so sorry about the Laura's and sorry that that everyone was affected by that and, uh, thanks so much. It was a wonderful, from, from boat people to boat people. This was a wonderful time. Goodbye. So they leave and, uh, James is like, Eddie, do you mind if I take Lisa for a date tonight? It's like, sure man, after work, after work. Not, not, wait, wink. So, then it's time for, oh, Eddie tells Izzy that she gets to go to the VIP room, and then they're sterilizing her room,

and then it's time for two meetings. That's amazing. It was just funny to me, because they were sterilizing Izzy's room, but they's time for two meeting. That's amazing. Mm-hmm. It was just funny to me because there was star-alizing is he's room, but they weren't wearing masks on. I'm not saying that they initially had to have masks on, but it's just funny that this was pre-the pandemic really taking over the world on a global scale. And now the idea of star-alizing,

but not wearing a mask, it's like, what's the point? What's the point? Yeah, it's just, you're doing it wrong. Where's your ultra-blue light wand? I know. So, yeah, you're doing it wrong. Where's your ultra blue light wand? I know so now it's time for the tip meeting and Captain Lee's like what a charter, huh? Delores You guys say more you guys say more. She was a handful to say the least now the tip was 16,900 five cents and two pits.

All right, everybody good with that? Mary, it's pretty good. I wanna point out by the way that there is a board game called the HMS Dolores. This is true, and it's about a shipwreck. And really, who would have thought that that, like, could there be a more perfect game for a board game than the shipwreck board game than HMS Dolores?

I love that you had a full circle in the cell. I did, full board game than the shipwreck board game than HMS Dolores. I love that you had a full circle in the shell. I did, full board game circle. So yeah, so the tip is, they've got like a decent tip, but not as high as they were expecting, and they are suspecting that, not as high as they were expecting, and they are suspecting that Dolores was supposed to kick in some tip money, but of course, Dolores.

Yeah, spring spent at the Motel 6. So now we find out that they get a day off tomorrow to go to a club called Catherine's. And so they're all excited. And then Francesca's asking this, like, oh, are you going on a date? And they're like, oh, yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. Like, oh god, what do you got to get permission for me to go on a day?

No, look at me, I'm so mean, you can't work all this time. Of course, go have a good time. You're god damn, I am bored dropping moron. All right, I'm good. We'll just call ahead to wherever you go on your date and let them know that there could be some toxic fumes coming since you'll be there. Tell them to hide the bleach and the chlorine. Thank you.

So everybody's getting ready and James is plucking his eyebrows. We finally see it happening in action. And then now we are going to get the below deck for some reason has decided that every season they have to force some terrible relationship to our throat. They're like, you know what the audience wants love. Every year someone's gotta be in love. Let's- Someone's gotta go on a date. This horrible, awkward date. Yeah. At this time it's at a place called Malini's, which is exactly sort of place I would expect them to be- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- to- them to be, to come to going to like a place that sort of sounds like Jim Bellino, but it's just called Malini's. Yeah, it's also got lean in the title for these two ladies. So they

They got the Malini's, he got time to cleanies. All right. I want to say that before the date happened that there was a scene where Francesca asked The group like should we order food in tonight or should we cook what we have on the barbecue and I don't feel like we ever got an answer to that and it kind of plagued me a little bit. Dave I didn't even notice. I'm trying not to focus on food. What did they eat? What did they eat? While speaking of food on the date they sit down on the and Elizabeth sees the menu and she goes, ooh, they have my favorite eggplant pomerzone. Which is, I don't know why it's, I feel like that's like such a common thing on a menu

and I love that. It's like saying like, ooh, my favorite. And offering a cook or a diet coke. Yeah, and he's like eggplant. I don't even know what that is really. I mean, I just know the emoji that stands for something So they come offer them drinks. He's like, oh, yeah, we'd like too long islands, please. I mean Jesus Christ man Do you just start drinking? Did you just start

He really is the worst. I mean, listen, I, I, back in the day, I loved me a long Island iced tea, but that's because I was like 22 and had no money. And I was just like, I want to get as much boost. Yeah, you're just like, I don't say actually a good long long Island iced tea is delicious, but it just was like amateur hours, they say. Yeah. So Elizabeth's like, huh, he has he orders two starters in a main. So she's like, I love that because you're always hungry. You know what, you can always come to me when you want things because like,

I'm a big Italian feeder. Like I don't cook, but like I'm a field. Like you can come to me or order you something. I love people who eat. Like yeah, that's why you're with a guy with a 28 way set. Come on Elizabeth. So while they're having horrible flirtations, the rest of the group is on the boat,

playing a game of truth or dare, and they're like having all this fun. I was oddly triggered in this scene and it was nothing to do with them. Like this, I was like, I just basically, like deep issues came out for me because I was watching them all having fun. And then I was imagining if I were on that boat,

I was like, if I were on that boat, I bet like, I would not be getting along with Eddie. He'd be condescending to me. And I feel like I would want Rachel to like me But she wouldn't like me because I want her to like me and she would see that as weakness And so then I would see them all hanging out and having fun And I probably wouldn't be part of it and then I'd feel some sort of like I literally just projected like all these issues Onto them and then I was like God that was really fun. I really enjoyed projecting those issues there

It's definitely time to open back up this country. Guys. I was like, if I were hanging out with him, I probably would be excluded. You're like, I can't go out today. So I'm gonna get my feelings hurt by people I don't. I wanna tease you. I literally, I went out of my way to create a scenario

to get my feelings hurt. Because I do that. I went out of my way to create a scenario to get my feelings hurt. Because I do that. I feel like Rachel, I would really want to be friends with her, but I feel like Rachel would not like me. I don't know why. I just feel like she wouldn't like me. Really? I don't think that's true. No, I think that's true. I know she liked me because I have friends. She would love you. Exactly like that that like isn't that Trisha Rachel? It's so it's so my friend that is just wacky and crazy and like that and then you get a couple of drinks into her and you're like

Oh, no, she's coming out I Feel like she would love you and then but she would not like me and then like seeing how much she loved you would make me want her to like me too Because then I feel left out of you guys being friends, but I'm not really I like it We don't like click and then I think Yeah, but then I wanted you to have the hurt feelings but then I'd walk in on you and Francesca talking about me being like Yeah, there's Ronnie Would really Francesca I'm not sure like, yeah, there's Ronnie. Uh-uh. That's true. I probably would grab one from Jessica.

I'm not sure. I think that like, I just feel like I want to be friends with Rachel. And I don't, I think it's probably a one way thing. I think that she would see me as weak, unfortunately. Yeah. Oh, sorry. You know what? You're okay.

Rachel would like you. Everybody likes you. Everything's going okay. Solce of air day. Okay. So then we go back to the day and James is like, what do you do between working on boats? And she's like, well, my life has never been consistent. But you know what? It led me here and that's what's important.

I taught somebody what Prometheus did for humans. So you know, pretty much fate. And he's like, well, this six weeks have been fun. Or should we head back and bone? She's like, well, this six weeks have been fun. All right, should we head back and bone? So yeah, and then everyone is just making fun of James on the boat, just going to town. And then they're coming back and they kind of like teed up as if they're going to walk in on all this. But instead, they just sneak into a guest room and just have sex.

Which is truly gross. To just, because now they don't have to clean that room the next day, because nobody knows that they just like nasty did up, you know? Yeah. So now it's the next morning, and it's time to go to like Catherine's. And so Rachel wakes up and she's in sort of like a boho

kind of top or whatever, and that is like, do you know how to get to Woodstock? Oh god, you're crazy. Look at you crazy hippie with that crazy tap. Am I right dad? I'm just like, you know what, I'm not hungry because I keep partying.

I might look like shit, but I don't feel like shit. I'm still drawn from the night before. Yeah. And then they get into vans to go to the beach club and Rachel, Rachel's just talking about James and she just goes, I can't stand that fucking twat. Just, just going in on him. And then we cut back to Captain Lee, just alone going,

got a little hard can be like the slow unwrap. Yeah, the slow unwrap known as a common sound in dinner theaters across America. The Werther's original annoyance. So, um, so then Elizabeth is like, my birthday is in one week in seven days. And what I want? I want for my birthday is so annoyed so I can share it with everyone. It's like this bit. Stay away from the poison. So they pass, they're passing like all these fields and trees and stuff. And wait just like, wow, banana, that banana is fucking awesome. And Yeah, then Liz has to pee but they don't pull over she has to wait till they get there Okay, so they get there Rachel's hammered like Rachel's already hammered and she walks ride up to a guy holding drinks

Takes a drink and just checks it down I didn't see that but that that works that's on brand Maybe I shouldn't be friends with her in my mind. So then that works, that's on brand. Maybe I shouldn't be friends with her in my mind. So then, Captain Lee, meanwhile, back in the boat, Captain Lee is just walking around and he goes, that pizza's talking to me. Eat me, but I can't.

Hehehehe. Cut the Rachel, chug chug chug. And then, they're all laying around and is he tells James that he has really nice boots. Like the bigger than mine, he's like, yeah, but these are solid Glad you you know it. They're not that filled with stuff like yours. All right, you know I miss you in the bedroom by the way seeing me half naked when I walk in she's like

Yeah, and then James starts spraying himself with like some Sunblock or whatever and Rachel watches from afar and she just sees him and goes God, it's such a fucking shit It's hilarious Okay, so Rachel's a damn mess and then we cut to later and the band is playing and Rachel just wakes up from a nap She goes bam music when the fuck did that happen? Watch right onto the stage.

Yeah, and there's like a mic. And so she just walks up to the mic. And she just starts talking to the band. She goes, all right, are we going to make some music? All right, I want some dirty ass shit. You heard self-savary. Can we do self-savary? Key of C. No?

Teddy's, I want some nasty shit. Teddy's. That was my favorite was that she's up there. And then Rob goes, I'm kidding. That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my-

That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my-

That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- That was my- So Francesca is gonna deloor us her right so she walks right up to the stage and she's like oh I we have to get you off the stage because yeah, you know what let's be walking after midnight alright you're right manager Right I do go like my manager guys all right

We can do it yeah, we can do it walking out to midnight everyone just like Then Francesca has a moment that's like out of every 80s movie that ever happened she's like Rachel Rachel and then she just goes into the microphone and goes Rachel I think I had some moment that's like out of every 80s movie that ever happened. She's like, Rachel, Rachel. And then she just goes into the microphone and goes, Rachel! I got that microphone to the entire club. And Rachel's like, I go walking! Come on, come on guys.

All right, sit down, manager. And Eddie's like, oh my god, there's one rule on the boat. You don't embarrass yourself and you don't embarrass the boat. And then Francesca's like, do you want to give him? Oh my god, there's one rule on the boat. You don't embarrass yourself and you don't embarrass the boat. Uh-huh. And then Francesca's like, do you want to go home? You want to go home? F*** off! Rachel.

Sorry, guys, sorry, guys. She's got to be a douche about it. Let's take it from the top. Titties! What a mess. What a fun episode. Super fun. Super fun. Well, everyone, thank you for listening. Thank you to those of you who are sending me positive vibes that I'm worth it.

I'm worth being friends with and that like I don't need Rachel in my mind to be friends with me. Thank you so much. Now this was super fun. A fun time and so much. Now this was super fun, fun times. Go check out go to watchcraftpins.com to vote in the crappies. And by the way, there's a link to the tickets on the ballot. So like it's if you're wondering where the links, they're all there. Everything is everywhere. Just go to watchcraftpins.com. And we'll be back tomorrow with Real Housewives of Dallas. Should be fun. Should be a good time. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, and until then, if you wanna stay safe and don't mix your bleach with your chlorine and we'll be around.

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