Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Bugs in the System

Episode Date: June 23, 2020

Bugsy is back to cause some major Honay Eyes this week on Below Deck Med. Make sure to wear your floaties! For this week's premium bonus and our video recaps, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm going to watch what crap is this. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappings! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on ye old bras and kite. I'm Ronnie Caram and that's been over there hot baby. Hi what's going on? Nothing. Everybody welcome to below deck med day. Go check out our other projects. I do the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rost podcast which is new tomorrow and Ben does the game brain podcast and he also does cartoon called the real housewares of kitchen oil and so go check that out over on YouTube. Also, we are selling face masks now. We've got a ton of them up there. A bunch of Bravo themed face masks so to find them and get one for yourself. You'd love to want to collect some, go over to crappensmerch.com. Yeah. And let's do a shout out to some small businesses

that have been affected by the pandemic, et cetera, et cetera. I got one that is by, let's have it this one right here. This is from Anna who says, she wants us to shout out, her mother-in-law, Becky, who is the absolute biggest from Anna who says she wants us to shout out. Her mother-in-law Becky, who is the absolute biggest Mickey Mouse lover, how about that? She has an Etsy shop called the Fancyful Mouse, where she sells incredible Mickey-inspired art and accessories like bangles that can be used to wear your keys or those key chains magnets, signs, and a lot more.

So if you love Mickey Mouse or someone in your family who loves Mickey Mouse, go to Etsy.com slash shop slash the fanciful mouse or you can check her out on Instagram at at the fanciful mouse. And this one comes to from Layla. Her mom is a mom of six and she owns a gift basket business called gifts on wheels. It's based in Fort Washington, Pennsylvania. Her beautiful gift baskets include high quality sweet and savory treats as well as personalized and hand-painted items suitable for any occasion. You can place these orders online at GiftsOnWheels.com

or by telephone at 215-628-4700. Now I'm not that's hard to remember, okay? 215-628-4700 or just go to GiftsOnWheels. That's easier to remember. Okay, there we go. Okay, yeah, and so if you have a small business that needs a shout out, and especially if you're a black owned business, go email us at watch what crap ends at gmail.com and put it in the subject, small business, black business, all that stuff. And that way when we searched for the shout outs, yours will come right up. Yeah. Okay. So today is below deck Mediterranean. Everybody.

Yeah. Wow. We had a there was a lot of the big episode where we're going to find out who the news do is we had a lot of debates last week. A lot of debates. Who did I guess? You guessed Bugsy. I said Brooke. Oh, I guess bugs. Yeah. I think you I think you guessed Bugsy. Yeah. I guess one of those two. one of the one of the B names. One of the B names because I knew that by the look on Hannah's face, it was it was someone horrible that she didn't like. And Bugsie is the one who says if I were to steal and the one that ended the season saying you're just a bad you just bad at your job Hannah. But let's also not forget because we saw it in the flashbacks. I forgot that in the beginning Hannah and Bugsy got along and I honestly think one of

the reasons why they had such a falling out is because Adam played them against each other because every time like bugs he would do something great, he would be like, well, always got a rely on bugs. He bugs the most reliable one isn't bugs the best. And so he was like getting Hannah pissed at bugs and also I think also pumping the bugs up a little bit. So I actually, and like it still bothers me that they grew to hate each other because I feel like Adam was at the root of it. Yeah. Adam's at the root of a lot of evil. I'll tell you that.

Like any unsolved mystery, look at Adam because that guy's a jerk, okay? Okay. And you know what, that's it. When you're feeling some Adam rage, I really just recommend looking at that clip of Adam walking into a log on below deck sailing. And that's like that, did you see that episode

with the... That tree branch? Oh, it was like a heavy tree branch between two rocks and he went running onto the island to pick up some shitty ass wildflowers for Jenna and he just like knocked like clothesline, clothesline right over his forehead. Yeah, and then he got on the other end

that Jenna wasn't more excited with flowers. And he's like like you're disgusting You've had sex with people below besides me you're disgusting What a prick that guy is okay, so here we go at this episode We're still also he got fired we talked about it last week, but in case you missed it. Oh, yeah, he got fired We're still a Pika fired. We talked about it last week, but in case you missed it, Pika fired. Pizza disgusting, pizza trash.

And he posted some racist bullshit on his page that was disgusting and gross. And then when someone called out on it, he was called him out on it. He was like, what? I mean, I have sex with all races. This was just a sexual posting. I have sex with all, a lot of it with all races or whatever honey

And yeah, he's been canned shit canned which you know the seasons already filmed so he's still on this season They said they're gonna edit him out as much as they possibly can on this season and you know chances are he wouldn't be back next season Anyway, but still just for the record Yeah, so that's something that happened, which is exciting. So, yeah. So speaking of Pete, Sandy is sort of is sort of having a meeting right now because Malia's up there with Captain Sandy. And she basically says that Pete's been calling her sweetie. And Sandy is like, you know what? I'm pissed off about this. So you know, we're gonna have a me all deck all deck hands all deck hands meet me at the bridge

Okay, meet me at the bridge maybe bring a pillow because there will be a nap time afterwards. Thank you So like all right for charter when I forgive everything hugs it bound total nap time But to guess what you're only getting an arm around the shoulder not getting a full hug and But two, guess what? You're only getting an arm around the shoulder. You're not getting a full hug. And both a serial are half empty. All right. I'm not forgiving. It's what I say. Now I know it's hard having a female is your boss. I didn't like that. I didn't like that. Where did that come from, Sandy? Yeah. Where did that come from? Yeah. And she's like, there's no sweet heart. There's no sweetie. There's no deer. Okay. You wouldn't call a man sweet heart or anything like that.

I'm not your friend, I'm your captain, I fucking hate that. Yeah. And Leo's like, yeah, and by the way, I'm not your sweetie or sweet heart either. Okay, so don't say that. Never. Here are the words that I want to hear. Tables, heat, rancino. I have your cereal.

Toast. Yeah, I want to hear your cereal your cereal bowl is full of captain That's what I went here from you. Okay So they all are dismissed and Sandy is like looking in. Oh, there's some swells coming in and then meanwhile the the guys are All right, I'm one of the decks and peak peak goes up to Rob and he's like, it's like Rob. Did you say sweetie? It's like who called her sweetie? Did you do it, Rob? And Alex is like, you know, bro, it's about respect.

And Pete goes, yeah, they'd like that, don't they? Oh, you are so fucking disgusting. Can you be fired every day? Yeah, don't talk to us about respect while also saying they like that, don't they? I said, there's some strange critter in the zoo you know like oh if you want to endure yourself to the woman folk you have to smile a bit big and throw a bread at their face you know Rob's like that was basically a meeting about Pete and Pete's like who the fuck

is Colin or sweetie anyway I mean come on and he's like I mean calling Malia sweetie not a good move bro he's just so narrow minded so the Malia joins up and Pete's like oh we were just trying to figure out who was calling Captain Sandy's sweetie and Malia was like well you know who was calling me sweetie right he goes no she was you don't know notice how I didn't emphasis on you as in you don't know, notice how I did an emphasis on you. As in you don't know. And he's like, I do. And then there's a clip of him like, yeah, I got a sweetie. Hey, yeah, pick this up, sweetie.

Hey, yeah, sweetheart, all right, sweetheart. You got a sweetheart. Her face is like, are we really putting some of the boat safety in this idiot's hands right now? Yeah. And so then he does something that's really annoying, which is that then he, then he sort of like changes it to, well, I guess that's just the way I was raised.

I'm just a little country boy from Virginia. Uh-uh, this is not 1913, okay, where I like, you lived on a farm and news didn't get to you about how the world is changing. That's, I'm, by the way, I don't know if that's actually how life was like in I'm 1013, but the point is this, you may be a little country boy from Virginia, but you still have access to the same TV shows, and the same internet, and the same reading and newspapers

and magazines and people, then everyone else in the entire country. Yeah, it's such a pig. And she's like, yeah, well, girls don't like being called sweetheart. And he's like, all right, note taking sugar tits Comes in on daddy's lap and let him suit you with his wink, all right? So then I'm Rob is gonna say space for you

My dick My dick. I tell you what's triggered my Seminole balls Seminole My seminal balls. I'm not that bad. Seminal. Seminal. I was trying to think, I thought like seminal sack is not where the sperm comes out. It's from anyway, testicles. So Rob is, so then Rob goes over to Kiko and he's like, I have to tell you what happened.

We had a meeting. I'm going to stay quiet because it it kind of fucked me up a little bit. When you see a pebbler in the middle of the street and you say that rocks, get it. There's sick of being disrespected as women, but I'm gonna stay quiet. And he goes like, are you serious? So then Hannah and the gap, she's talking to the gas and she's like listen the rain isn't coming till later So we'll have a picnic at the church all right gonna be right in front of a church Nothing was all wrong. What's so ever? It's a perfect space for you to talk about a space all right? So so yeah, Hannah's booking that thing and Jessica's gonna be the one to set it up and Hannah's gonna come over with food

And he's leaning on a rail outside and he's like, you know what? Everyone just needs to do their work and stop talking about everybody. How about that? Because I need deck hand. All right, just call me deck hand. I'm bleed deck hands. It's a cure. So just like what is wrong with this guy? Everything they show of this guy is just crap Yeah, he is just like a garbage human being. I'm shocked that someone who calls himself the unit I mean the shock just continues week to week how could someone calling themselves the unit be such a monster? I don't get it Seriously, so

So so Hannah's telling Jessica like what the plan is and Jessica gives this face like this like it's basically like the screwy emoji face like And she's like don't give me that face. Jace. I can't hear that face right now. Okay. Don't give me that. I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I've got the H-O H-O, H-O-Win, H-O-Win. I know she's like the Hulk about to change when the honey face is about to come out the honey eyes Just like shaking shaking do not look like my eyes on you on I am I was blinded by Charter one because at least she wasn't spitting venom at me but now I'm realizing she's not very good is she oh so they're packing the van and just tells the guys come just tell me when to do something okay and Alexus don't put that evil on me Ricky babby

I don't even know what that means. It's from Taladeganites. Oh Which of course of course every year with these guys. That's one of those movies It's like the guy who is like hey, I live in a van down by the river from a couple of seasons ago So Kiko is like in the kitchen cooking something. He's like fucking shit Fucking bullshit bullshit. Fuck the shit. He's like smiling and all happy while he's like cursing out his problems Yeah, he's like in Brazil. We don't do picnic. I go to bar. Yeah, this is my first picnic You know when I used to cook for Putin, he wouldn't say, let's have picnic.

He would say, let's take over island of in Black Sea. And then that becomes dinner now. That's like, okay. So the captain sees him cooking and she's like, that's their lunch, a quiche. Like, how about you go upstairs? Is your Netflix broken? Why do you love everybody's ass all the time?

Seriously, seriously. So now we see that Deccans is not hauling chairs and tables, the picnics. It's like my least favorite thing are when we have to see Deccans carrying chairs and tables or does any of the crew, because it just looks so tiring. I feel like, in fact, I'm surprised because I feel like every single season,

they make the crew carry heavy chairs and tables up steep hills. Like, remember last year, I think they made you. Every year, you have this one of the, it's part of the format, you know? Like if anybody else makes a below deck, they're like, well, you gotta do a picnic

and they have to climb a lot of stairs and like being pain, okay? Yeah. Like, oh, look, there's a mountain on this island. Okay, let's have a picnic at the very top of it. Here, take these chairs. Yeah, remember, that's the episode with the Queen of Versailles when it was, um, when we got a butterfly. Oh, a butterfly. A butterfly. And June had to like bring the chairs up and she had an evening all day because June would always forget to eat and she was just like sad and complaining at the top. Oh, guys memories hugs. What's on top of a mountain after we've just carried tables and chairs all the way up at Kate. Yeah. So they get this little town and the kids like daddy, I want to touch the horse.

Yeah. The child is either thunker. Yeah. Oh, I see. So they go on a tour of this church. And one of the guys is like, Oh, you missed the sun over there. Look at that beautiful sun. He's like, I saw the sign and I see the sun. I'm like, only you would fucking go into a church and make it about you. I see the sun. I'm like only you would fucking go into a church and make it about you All that she wants is another sunshine. She's gone tomorrow Oh, that she wants is another baby whose dad is a spirit. Oh That's he wants is another baby. Oh, yeah So don't turn around cut the sign of shining in this direction

Don't turn around because then you'll miss around. Because the sun is shining in this direction. Don't turn around. Because then you'll miss the rest of the sun. So Jess and Malia and Pete are setting up the picnic. And it's a disaster. Like the setup. And Jess is like, Pete, you're doing it wrong. And Malia goes, yeah, you had it wrong, Pete. And he's like, wow, you know what?

There's me in too many chiefs. Sorry. Yeah, because I think apparently he got the table right initially, but then he kept tinkering, and then it started to not work. And then he was tinkering so much that one whole half of the table just collapsed, and then all the glass fell off of it. And he's like, can't do anything right?

Can I? And Jess is like, well, you don't have to take us so personally. He takes everything personally. Yeah. So they have to clean up all this glass. They put it into garbage bags. And he just throws the garbage back behind a bush next to this church. So the guests show up.

And they all cram around this table. Because the table is also too small for all of them. But no one seems to be complaining. They seem to be OK. The only one who has any serious complaints is the child who doesn't like the key She's like, I don't like any of these. I like them with meat on it. I take the green stuff out of it And it's like all right. Let's do fruit for that little fucker all right

You hold this mouth open and I'll shove a watermelon in until he stops talking Oh, let me just make sure I'm doing this correctly. I'll just ask the, uh, repair the nanny over there to see if I'm doing, hey, nanny, since, uh, I'm doing your job right now, do you mind making sure I'm doing it correctly? Okay. Great. Love doing your job for you. Well, I do my job too.

Enjoy your deckery. So, Alex and Malierre watching all this and Alex is like, so what's up with sensitive Pete? And she's like, oh my god, dude. You Alex is yeah it's alarming hey I just got shit on. Look at that. Yeah, got shit yeah so then the wind starts picking up and this thunder so they have to like go back to the boat so Hannah takes them and the kids sing by all the horses stuff like that And Hannah's like so we get to go back to the car now and it'll take you there, right?

He's like you're gonna hold my hand and walk me It's like right into a fire if I see one all right hold tight you little beast Maybe you should hold the hand of your nanny. Oh wait, unfortunately her hands are busy taking photos of everything around her I guess that's new on the nanny job application ignoring the child while you take photos of the scenery okay right. It's windy isn't it little boy he's like that's the storm. Shocking on going on. Starring go you and throw you in the trunk of the vein if you don't want it you're a little beast.

You're a real genius your little little monster. I guess what? Yeah, that's right. It is the storm. How did you figure that out? Was it when I said we got to go back to the bit because there's a storm coming? Oh, I said it this trial. So Malia is taking the trash and she cuts her leg and she's like, fucking Pete broken glass in the trash can. It's a glass drama music. Don't don't don't don't.

Yeah, because basically he didn't double back the bag. So the glass broke through and cut Malia. So they get back on the boat and Rob's like, Malia, no other man with you. She's like, sure. I'm just misunderstood. So that's kind of a normal right now. She's like, well, you know that that meeting wasn't directed at you, right? Like, you know,

it wasn't. It's a guy now. I just, I was triggered by the pack mentality. You know, it has a pack mentality. Sikirets, because they come in packs. Ha ha. Get it. She's like, we're just working on communication. I think you're very respectful towards me and Sandy. And he's like, appreciate you. Mm. Appreciate you.

So then we get a shot, just a quick shot of the kid looking at pictures or something, like looking at someone's phone. He's like, that's Papa Roy, pretty woman. Walking down the street, pretty woman. Like, and it just keeps going. That's Papa Roy, pretty woman walking down the street, pretty woman. Like, and it just keeps going. She's like, Hannah's like, if I have to listen to that song one more time on this chatter, I am going to literally throw myself off the sword of this boat.

So Jess and Robin Alex are talking while they eat. And Alex is like, how was it? I haven't stopped all day. I was in here. And just it's like, have you taken the Myers-Bregs to us? I think you should take a. Take a.

Which is really the sexiest way to flirt with someone. Hey. Also, I'll be the Myers-Breg. Also, like only dumb people say that in my experience. I've done none of my intelligent friends have ever been like, hey, I guess what I'm posting on Facebook, the Myers Briggs test. Hey, I'm a real I.N.T. Hey.

So Rob's like, well, I'm seeing someone. It's an open relationship, but there's always that thought in the back of your mind. Don't screw the crew. Don't shit where you eat. Don't stick it where you pick it. Don't lick. Don't lick where you're stick. I'm out of things, but you can't rewind You'll just have to have a jerk while you're at work Give a penny take a penny Where's not what not all right now I'm into mum's mum sings, but you get it Where's Floor

Now you're just on caution signs. Haha. It's like a plot. Children crossing. You. So it's pouring rain and he's like, Yeah, Melia, you want us to cover the air thing? She's like, not yet, please. And he's like, Alex, stop, you want us to cover the acting? She's like, not yet, please. And he's like, Alex, stop.

She said, don't cover it. And he's like, so she wants us to, she wants us, this furniture's so confucan, what? Huh? He's like, it's her boat, bro. Her fucking boat, bro. I'm not here to make sense. I'm here to do what she says, which is that

like passive aggressive way of following orders, you know? Yeah, so he's like Mexican next she's gonna want to vote then watch the world crumble, bro And soon I won't even be able to whip it out and jerk off in a plan in front of her god this world The only people you can still be racist against is the straight white male The only people you can still be racist against is the straight white male. What do I know? I'm just a simple country boy from Virginia. I don't know. You can't blame me for saying problematic things.

I was just raised this way. And then Alex is like, yeah, we fight immediately, but I'm not going to talk shit about people with you just because that's what you're doing. Right? So Sandy's in her office. She's like, hey, this is Captain Sandy calling for, well, let's just be real secret about this. Let's say, uh, uh, Ugg Z Bay, am I right?

Anyway, I need a new stew. All right, we'll get your flight. So we didn't have you here by next chart, earth, this is gonna be a wonderful undermining season. Can't wait to see ya. So then Hannah's playing with a child again and she's like having kids on board is basically mother training.

And at the same time, they're also really dirty. Putting your sticky little paws everywhere and fucking up my interior. Can you wash your child, honey? Wash your dirty child, honey. Pretty interior. Going away from me, pretty interior. Full of little handprints, pretty interior. Going away from me. Pretty interior.

Full of little handprints. Pretty interior. So in the kitchen, Malia's just watching Kiko kill a lobster. And the guys are like, come watch, bro, come watch, come watch. And then the kid just walks in. The kid stands in the doorway and just there's a key go murdering the lobster He's like He's so pretty

Like don't look down look child So then Hannah is looking for Josh. Wait the fuck is my suit girl girl come on. It's past six And she's like I didn't even have a 45 minute break so It was an hour and two minutes, honey. So I know it's stressful, honey, but I'll give you a break before I get a break and I haven't had a break, which means that pretty woman kids about to get drowned in a sink. All right. So I thought I had this change right close to took.

Oh, yeah, well, that's part of your break. All right. Yeah. Jess is like, I mean, for fuck's part of your break. All right. Yeah. Jess is like, I mean, for fuck's sake, I'm working two jobs right now. I mean, I'm a stew. I'm still zooming into host Bingo Knight at that old folks home. And oddly enough, I'm actually still employed by Hooters. I just told a table six that I'd be right back with their order. And I've been on here on this boat since. But still, technically that's three jobs actually. So like, do you know how many jobs I'm doing mediocrely

at the same time? Thanks, thanks. And the Jess is like, oh, I miss Laura. Ooh, that didn't take long. That didn't take long. So, Malia comes up to Pete, she's like, okay, you're gonna help the girls with service, Pete, you good with that?

And he's like, Bukin' A, brah! help the girls with service, Pete, you good with that? And he's like, back in the day, brah! Doing the girls work, doing the girls work. So Sandy is like really eager to get the toys out in the water. And she's like, okay, so tomorrow, we're gonna get the toys out like as soon as possible. Cause I really want you guys to have the toys.

And Roy is like, well in Sweden, they say, hold your thumbs. So we're just gonna hold our thumbs for this one. Just know all of us like, we actually don't say that we just filled Roy that so we could hold his thumb and it looks like an idiot quite often. Now it's time for our yearly dad who doesn't see his children seen. It's Pete playing with the kid. And you know, holding kids is special. When my kid was born I had bacterial meningitis so I couldn't hold him for six weeks and when I did hold him he was I was so skinny and he was just this little alien baby and I'm not the guy who you think of as a father but I'm still Pete but you put a kid in

front of my face and it's on! Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,

a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is team jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Different. I like to like his first reflection is lamb when I finally got to touch that kid. I was so skinny.

Yeah. It's not like it was such a magical moment. It was like man, all my all my gains in the gym. Yeah. Toversed. It was all about his physique still. Oh, Pete. Yeah. So then they're talking about

Kiko's pulling got a big octopus and just like, how do we even serve that? Do we use steak knives and Hannah goes, um, that's for steak, honey, your epilates, your epilates, honey, come on now. Yeah, where your epilates and those your dresses, like they literally literally disappear like they are gone You will never find them in this boat whatsoever By the way fish cutlery is that the same as normal cutlery? Hanna fish cutleries fish cutlery and normal cutleries normal cutlery okay, honey So Hannah's like all right, you know what I have to go look for your dress because I'm gonna look like an idiot if you dress

Is somewhere and I haven't looked for it. Alright. Yeah, so she's down looking for that. And Sandi sees the table. She's like, oh wow, this table, this is a beautiful, beautiful table. I can't wait for later in the season when I see the same table and I just get so furious about how simple it is. Wow.

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela itchels. Let's rent some errands with Emily errands Aaron McNickless. She don't miss no trickle-us. Hava Nagilo Weber! Jamie, she has no last name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! Jess saying, okay! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go Hilo! Higher than Hyrez, she's Lauren Perez!

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Let's take off with Tamla Plane. She ain't no shrinking violet CooTar! We love you guys! So the guests tell them they want to eat at 8.30 and So that's the plan everybody. So then the captains like Decker, Decker, Captain, Cereal lover. Okay, they asked for water sports. All right, we got it and crew captain captain cereal lover. Okay, they asked for water sports. All right, we got it. And don't don't don't the guests are already half an hour late. And he goes like, I finally get my time fan. And the guests are finally out there, like 45 minutes later or something like that. And the captain comes in of course to see what the chef's doing. And he's like, good, muk-kak-kah. And she's like, you know what? He did Brazilian on his first try. And that was amazing. But his chef needs to do all cuisines on his soup

or yacht. Right? Remains me of Adam. You know, at first it was soup and salad. He had a learning curve and then Captain Sandy came in and saved the day and now look at them. Now look at them. But like if it's always new guess, is there anything wrong with doing the same dish? If a dish is really good, is there anything wrong with serving it again and again and again? Isn't that how restaurants work? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know how it works. I have no real opinion on it, except that Captain Sandy is already like sticking her fingers in this one too, you know? Yeah. So at dinner, someone, Roy, who allegedly knows this guy all up, is like, Hey, Roy, how did you get involved with Ace of Base? I say this as

your good friend who apparently has never asked you this question before. So please tell us. And office like, well, this is a good question you ask here. Please don't hold your thumbs for a quick answer because I have a lot to say on this. So picture it. Sweden, 1942. My grandmother just got off boat She was in a lake and she got off the boat. It was mid-Somar And he she said I will have a grandson who will sing music one day And I just like he just goes and goes and goes and he's like and you know the second wave It's the ones who is inspired by it but inspired inspired by it, I mean, there's Katie Perry,

this lady Gaga. And it's like, oh, his ego might be a little inflated for the level of stardom. He reached Hana. Yeah. Because he had us like standing out attention during this entire Ace of Base model log, which carried through multiple courses.

And then, of course, there was Jimmy Hendrix, who retrospectively was influenced by Ace of Base, because science fiction, wormholes, sand music, through space time, 266. I finally went back to Las Vegas for the first time in a long time, and I was so touched that the Elvis Presley hologram finally thanked me for all I did for him. It's like, okay, oh. And then there was, of course, Murphy Brown, who was the inspiration of all that she wants is another baby is another baby. And we thought this is the perfect political

statement to make right now. So then Hannah's just bitching to pee. She's like, all you need to fucking stew it is. Are you a season like this? And he's like, oh, yeah, lady, I can't see this. I'm so thin. Oh yeah, I can't see anything that's not sex. I'm just going to be quiet here and nod my head with a red face. Yeah. So then, uh, Pete and Alex are everyone's going into their box and stuff. Everyone's winding down and Pete's like, so what do you think we're going to get for the news to bro? And now it's like, I couldn't tell you tell you oh well. I hope that she's fun and hot and she

Doesn't mind if I call her Sweet and badge. Yeah, just made that one up. Sweet and sweet. Sweet. Just piss up me a bra So the next day Everybody's getting up because's work time, okay? And then the captain comes to the laundry room and she's like, oh my gosh, yes, is this a lot, this laundry room come on? It can't look like that, all right? It was organized with Lara and she's like, um, I know, because like laundry was her only job. So you know what, this is, you know what what this is like looking at one of Hannah's table

scapes. It's just a total embarrassment. We we we gotta I mean look is that is that a hooters uniform down there have that even getting here and what bingo balls what's happening here. And just like oh my god I need a new stick stew like really quick like I've been affording laundry my entire laundry career. Okay? Like, you know those hotels, like where they have a note that says, just hang your towel if you like the earth and want to be a decent person. I came up with that. Yeah.

My mom calls me lazy. I think I'm really smart. Well, I might be lazy on smart. I don't know. Brick Svire. Yeah. I read books So they all they're all leaving the doc leaving the doc leaving the doc

They're going out that way they could put the toys out for this guest because they haven't been able to use the toys all charter law and Hannah's checking in with the kids and So are you excited to get on? Kids, anchor, anchor, shackle, shackle. Whoa, should it be one shackle? I think one shackle. One more shackle. Two shackle, shackle, shackle. Two shackle, shackle. This swell is terrible.

I'd love a quarter of a shackle. Shackle, shackle, shackle. Now, why do they call it a swell? Because last time I checked, this is not swell at all. This is, this is the opposite of swell, this swell. That's what I say, huh? Um, so they get it down and we'll he's like nicely done Pete and he's like

thanks sweet damn it. Never done again. Thanks sweet and low. My favorite artificial sweetener that helped power my coffee that got me to put this slide down. Yeah saved it. Um so then hammers like feeding the kid

a huge crab or so whoosh. You giving that kid a croissant to crab? I don't know. She was stuffing some food right into that kid's face. Just, you know, doing the job of us, do you and an Annie, two-bed this family didn't have an Annie. Oh, there she is. Just sitting there with her feet up on the tables. Eyes closed and her enjoying life.

Wow, so good for that, and Annie, who's been employed to look after the children. Let me feed you some more. Boy, all the same the third Then we just get a quick cut of Kiko going. I don't get the lines for happy today So I don't get it either key go. Why is he also like why is today? He's happy. He's been happy this entire time I know he's a serial killer. I'm telling you there's something weird there So the kids are all the they get the toys out and the kids are in lifejack because they're sitting on the pontoon and Piedemalea are there with the kids and Malia is basically saying how she's not ready for kids yet because she likes

traveling too much with her boo. So there's that. And then Hannah and Jess are this is where Hannah goes to look for the dress. She's like, oh, I have to tell Sandy I've looked everywhere. So I'm going to go look for your dress. So she goes to her room, which is of course totally sloppy and gross. And she sees a pile of clothes on the bed and she just looks through them and she's like, oh, well, look at this. Here it goes.

Fucking kidding me, Jess. Are you fucking kidding me? So she takes the dress to the gallery and she's like, Jess, well, look at this. Here it is. Fucking kidding me, Jis. Are you fucking kidding me? So she takes the dress, the galley, and she's like, Jis, what's this? That looks like it's your hand around some fabric. No, what is the fabric? Not sure. Could be a cotton blend, maybe wool.

No, what does this blend shape into? I can't tell you for that. Is that a pillowcase? I'm not sure. Where was that? She was in your tall blank. She's, oh, in that pile of clothes. We go, I guess it's soft now. Mystery sound. You know, it's funny. My nickname as a kid was messy Jesse. So I guess that pan's out. So Pete, Pete outside. He's like, all right, well, I guess we're going to go see

what the master and commander was. Yeah, because the toys were out for like all of 20 minutes before it got choppy again, and they had to go back to shore. So now the deck was really annoyed that they had to put everything back again. Yeah, he's such an ass. So swing the port, swing the port, and now some docking drawbar. Docking, docking, docking. Oh, it's a tiny, it's a tiny slip.

It's so, it's so close. I'm maneuvering, maneuvering, wind, wind in the wrong direction. All of this like she's gonna get in that small space. Oh, it reminds me the first time I read I was Lady Gaga's soul in my sound. I just didn't know what to think. You know, it's like I told Chennai I train one time.

Your music is beautiful, but it is all ours. So give it back. So Moliad does it perfectly. And Kiko gives the kid a big hug and then it's time to meet all the dog and get some money. Yeah. So Hannah is talking to Sandy and she's like a girl. This has been real hard with only two girls alright and the guy basically is like hey the kids love Jay here's a tip This should reflect how much we loved it

Roy are missing Ace of base do not forget everybody anything Anything you want, you got it. Anything you need, you got it. Baby, here's our tip. So Justin Robber making the bed. And she's like, do you guys like have to work after this? Like do you have a lot to do? And he's like, oh, it's got to use clean the entire boat. Yeah, I'll be taking care of business, TCP. I'm gonna get that tattooed somewhere.

TCP, in fact, I might say taking care of business, yo, so maybe I'll say TCP, why? I love froyo. I love a good froyo. Taking care of business, you know what? She's like, do you have any tattoos? And it's like a little one for my mom because I'm a mama's boy.

She's like, oh! Briggs and my are a ticket. You need that. So then it's tip meeting with champagne and the captain's like, well done. I just want everybody to notice how nice I'm being to Hannah because it's outgoing downhill next week.

Okay, so well done Hannah. You manage, you manage through. I know it hasn't been easy. We've been challenged. I mean, weather, picnic, douchebags, looking at you, douchebag, all right? But children, missing dresses, epilets, all that stuff. Yep. But you know what? We're down in Cruz. So we get more money and they get 21 grand for two days, which is badass. It's badass, but I was also thinking about it. So each person gets like 18, basically 1850 per person.

But that's like two and a half days. Like, that's, what is that? That's like 60 hours. I guess that's about $30 per hour. Okay, I was gonna say, I bet if you really do the math, per hour math, it's like $3 per hour, but actually, it's a bit tough. It's been tipped $30 an hour.

That's crazy. So she's like, all right, before we toast, God, I love toast. I have some news, all right? Now since we've been down, we've worked very hard, but it just so happens, that someone that Malia and Hannah have both worked with is available.

And Hannah looks directly into the camera. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Let's just say... I wouldn't say she's a bee, well a bee in Hannah's bonnet, more of a bug in the bonnet. See what I'm getting out there? Let's just say I can imagine her getting married to a netb in the movie version of her anyone. All right, let's try it again. I can imagine if she were a car, she might be a Volkswagen sort of get it anyone. Oh, does we have any

traction on this anyone here? No, she's a bunny and be in chased by a little bald man in the woods and it is. Okay, it's Buxy. It's Buxy. All right. Antite, uh, Norton Antivirus has just looked it up and found her and has eradicated her. See what I'm, see where I'm going. It's Buxy.

It's Buxy everywhere. I'm, you know what Hannah? Come on. She's amazing. Come on. Let's choose to that everybody. She's amazing. And Alex is a

can you don't look happy so it's a good thing Hannah come on cheers Hannah cheers Hannah we always know that you do so well when we put someone who was actually achieved to under you and we know you really respond well to that so we're excited for you and And she's like, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Yeah, she goes off, honey, honey, under her breath. And so he goes like, who is these bugs? And Malia's like, she is super cool, like really like her. And then she tells us that since leaving the last boat, they really have gotten so close,

like she even knows her family. And she's like that she and Hannah, not really the best of friends. Yeah. So yeah, she's like, you and Hannah not really the best of fans. Yeah. So yeah, she's like, you know, you should be relieved. I mean, she's great at table settings and we know that that's something that you just can't do for shit. So, you know, you just focus on making me cereal. We'll let Bugs You Do Everything that she needs to do and it'll be great.

And it's like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then down to everyone's like dispersing and the captain's like, why can't anything be easy ever? Yeah, she's like, and she tells the crew, she's like, guess what, you guys, it's like the man's warehouse. You're gonna love bugs. Okay, you're gonna love the way you feel around bugs. Alright? Bugs ands. And kick of course, boozy? And they're like, no, a bugsy. Oh, it's just like that boozy. This is our new chiefs still boozy. Boozy.

So Hannah just goes out to lay on the dock and she's like, yeah, this is just cruel. This is just cruel, aren't I? I'm just going to lie down here on the cement and then hope that someone just runs me over some provisioner Just kill me right now. I'm just gonna lie down right here like a lady on the train tricks So later they're doing laundry laundry. So Jess is talking about how she likes what's this buzz? Get it rob She's cute like I've been trying to ask him if he has a girlfriend like I'm hinting around And it goes you you should do you should ask him that's what you do you should ask just ask I'm in to read

He said that he wrote down the answer actually, but I just can't find where he put it Have you looked and saw that pile of clothing on your bed? Oh, no do not think about that Have you looked and saw that pile of clothing on your bed? Oh, no, do not think about that. So in the van, they're all going out now. So in the van, Hannah asks, Alex, what's your take on role? But you know, the big zombie looking, or the big, kind of zombie one, he doesn't really talk just mothers.

You know that, you know what I'm talking about, right? He's like, yeah, he's a stand up guy. Yeah. Yeah. And Malia's like, because yeah, because Hannah's best is saying that, Jess has a crush on him. And Malia's like, cause yeah, cause Hannah's basically saying that, Jess has a crush on him and Malia's like, you know, Rob is deep and has a couple of different layers

and Jess is deep probably in places like, her elbow, maybe. She's like, I'm in her heart. So then they're all at the club and staff and Pete comes over and kisses Malia on the head. It's like, the never learner over there. So then Rob is like, you know what? I'm tired of speaking and not being, you know, not what did he say?

I'm not being heard. I have a heart. That's funny. I like that. What did he say? I'm part of speaking not to you. Literally, just not listening. What did he say? I'm part of speaking not to you. Literally, what?

What? He said he's tired of speaking from his heart. No, I'm tired of speaking, not being heard. So he's like a big baby. I don't even know what he's going on. He's being emailing. He's being emailing. Just like, you're hard.

He's like, I'm really irritated. Why? Because I have a lot to give. I have a lot to say, but people don't understand when I say it. That was a joke. Talk louder sir. Why did the chicken cross the road? You'll have to ask the chicken. I'm not the chickens. So I got... But be sure to look both ways before you follow it off, you'll get hit. Knock, knock. Who's there? You should go to the people.

That's what is one of the door. Get a ring, stupid. So, Jess is like, oh my god, it's my sa have a guy who's not staring at my chats, but instead is trying to get into my mind. It's like we in here. So Kiko is like, it's just a random out way to your boobs. Like let's face facts here, okay? Yeah, seriously.

So Kiko is talking, he's like, he's watching Pete at the club. He's like, Pete, he's kind of guy. He's trying to have sex with any girl. And you just see Pete just granted on, it's not like hard to even discern who he's grinding on. I think at one point he's like, maybe hitting on a plant. Yeah, he's literally hitting on everybody in there. He's just going from person to person.

It's like he's trying to get you to vote for Bernie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's like a Bernie supporter at a farmer's market. By the way, vote for Bernie if we get the chance. Ronnie, by the way, Ronnie has a Bernie supporter, so we're in the sense. Yeah, I'm a Bernie bra. So Alex is like, yeah, we're trying to find

it some mamacitas, all right? The only Spanish I know is Tano Tano, mommy. That means I love you, mom. I think the only Spanish I know is Tom Brady forever, T B 12. I think me and Tom Brady forever, T B 12. So Malia is talking to Hannah and she's like, you know, that Bugsie coming doesn't have to change you and I, I mean, it's totally going to. It's going to be so fun, but it doesn't have to change you and I mean it's totally going to it's gonna be so fun

but it doesn't have to change us you know that right Hannah. Hannah's like well obviously it was a shock to hear it but she's a good second steel otherwise and we don't have to be best friends but but the ball is in her court and when she hits it back over to my court I'm just gonna throw it into the stands and say you're fault by I Bye. I'm going to choke you with that bowl. Do you understand? So they all drive back in the van. And Hannah's like, where are there was a lot going on over there. And we're like, yeah, everyone's getting pretty casual.

Yeah. They're all debating who's going to make the first move. Is it going to be Rob or is it going to be Jess? And I was just like, you know what? I've never seen Jess hook up with another crew member before okay, you know and Rob has a girlfriend So this isn't gonna happen, okay, and you know Rob it just doesn't just all just wants his for Rob to prove that he's a man And you know, she's not gonna make the first move. I know this about her. Okay, also she'll probably say something like 63 because she would say that a lot be 63 something like 63 because she would say that a lot. B 63.

And Alex is like, yeah, she ain't gonna make the first move. And so Hannah goes, yeah, even when he's sitting right next to her telling her how much she respects her and then it cuts to the van. He's like, I respect you so much. I'm here for your mind, only your mind. I'm getting insulted, you're mined. And I'm seeing lots of things in here.

I see emojis and zap chance to refund and a bingo cage. It's strange in here. Actually, I think I'm going to leave. Thank you very much for having me. So they get back on the boat. And he's like, you're more than welcome in my room. If you'd like, I'm also not allowed man. Hey, why don't you keep the top bunk?, you're more than welcome in my room if you'd like. And to that, I'm also not allowed man. Um, hey, why don't you keep the top bunk? Because you're the taller one. He's like, out of respect for the chef, is that hot?

Our respect authority. Shall we, shall we talk about books naked and bad? Let's do it. Oh, I got into the chef's brain, actually, and it was terrifying. Don't trust anything he says. He could have lost his today. They start making out and Kiko pokes his head in the room. He's like, oh my God, they're kissing!

They're kissing! Freaking out outside the door. Yeah, so he actually goes and sleeps in Jess's bed. And then, like, the next morning, oh, I guess, no, it's not the next one, but it's on the middle of the night. So Robin Jesser spruining and Rob goes Thanks for sleeping with me. She was huh. I didn't mean sleeping with me in that way, huh? Never mind. Yeah, okay, good night. I Never heard

So then Alex and Feetsbunk. Oh, it's just be going I'm gonna puke So then Alex and Feetsbunk, oh it's just Pete going I'm gonna puke bruh So then the deck crew main deck crew deck crew main deck after So Rob it's like wow, I didn't expect this to happen at all. I've never hooked up with anyone on a vessel before I'm not sure what to do Thankfully, I can always pass the time by cracking jokes. What did the pennies say to the quarter? What? You're 25 cents more expensive than me. So Alex is updating Malia on the gossip. He's like, yeah, you know, maybe the little lake because he

woke up with the, oh no, she says has anybody seen what's his fans rob? And he's like, yeah, you know, maybe it's a little late because he woke up with the oh no, she says has anybody seen What's his buns Rob and he's like yeah, I'll bid a I'll bid just did because they woke up together And she's like does Rob have a girlfriend? Okay, anyway, everybody wash down Waterline scrub wash the tender and it just shows Pete being all mad. He's all red face. Yeah And then Hannah's like in her bed on his grab, Washington there and it just shows Pete being all mad. He's all red face. And then Hannah's like in her bed watching Australian self-help. You just hear that she was like watching some seminar, which is like the best. And you just hear this lady saying like, this is a place for those who want to understand the experiences that have helped me become an effective light.

It's important to surrender yourself with a team of trust. Oh, Bugsie. Yeah, just like bugs. Yeah, surround yourself with bugsies. That's what you need. And Malia is going to check on her, but she hears the lecture and she's like, uh, she can't walk away. She's like, what the fuck is going on in there? Step five, always use soap. Soap mixes a claim. People like playing people.

You'll motivate people if you use soap. Soap mixes clay. People like claying people. You'll motivate people if you use soap. Thank you very much. I'm really just like, you know, I just don't really know how Hannah feels about bugs coming. Just kidding. It's gonna suck. It's gonna be hilarious. Yeah. Um, so then Hannah, Hannah is like hanging out with Jess and asking her about like Rob and their hookup and she's like, so honey, how big is it? Basically, I don't even know how big it is.

She's like, you didn't feel it, honey, you didn't even feel it. I mean, I've got a self-help seminar right here that can help you be more assertive in situations if you need it. It says, surround yourself with people with big ones or I learned that from myself. Help. Seminole. She goes, honey, you didn't even feel it in the same bunk. That's probably not a good sign on. So just Jessica is basically, she's excited and nervous about the situation.

And she's like, let's just hope it doesn't get awkward. And then she's like, it will win bugs gets here and it's raining outside and there's a storm. And Buxi is dressed like a storm, which is so funny. Like the pattern on her outfit looks just like a really bad day. Yeah, it's like you get almost here on the wind like, almost here on the wind like he thought what the stew the call of the bugsie siren everybody just starts walking over and Anna's like and it tells

Jess like yeah she was pretty bad with me and i'm like i don't seem to remember i mean i know that they didn't get along but it was like we just got through Lara i feel like bugsie along, but it was like, we just got through Lara. I feel like Bugsie, like, there was, there was like an episode where she's like, you know what, James, do you?

But I was like, is it like compared to Lara? I feel like Bugsie's gotta be a walk in the park. Well, she did stuff behind her back the whole season. Like, she talked about it behind her back and then it was the final episode when she's like, you suck at your job, basically. And she's like, thanks. And there was, basically. And she's like, thanks. And there was, I seem to remember a pretty vicious reunion

that happened. I think there was definitely, like, I seem to remember Bugsie being supremely uncomfortable at the reunion and being like, wait, if I would change to the reunion, I'd probably leave right now. Yeah, so Bugsie's here. So that should be interesting. Yeah, and so bugs is here, so that should be interesting. Yeah, I think, yeah, I'm excited to see how this works out.

But we will be back with that next week, and the meantime, go get some face masks over at crappinsomerich.com, support small businesses, and be calling to each other if we will talk to you tomorrow. Bye, everyone. Bye everyone! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.