Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Cliquety Split

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

The crew on Below Deck Med gets a day off, and bad energy is sewn when Jason secretly orders a salad. Will anyone recover? This week's bonus is about what we do in our private time. Hint, we apologize in advance to wax paper lovers. Join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music around, you can't swap. Happens like there's so much that's happened. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Corruptance, the podcast for all of that crap. We love to talk about the old braves. I'm Ronnie.

And with me as usual, is the gorgeous and talented Ben Mantelker. Hello. Hey. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? I'm great. How are you? I'm great. How's it going over there for you, baby? I was just, you know, just scintillating, you know, excited talks and below deck,

med today, of course, a reminder to everyone. First of all, thanks to everyone who showed up to take a seat last night. That's always so fun. So again, that's Mondays on Spotify live. Yeah, I'm sorry to everybody that I hung up on. Okay. That was an accident. I was, I was like, tonight I'm going to be slick with my button pushing. And it's going to be fast and it's going to be a go. They finish talking. Click. Thank you. So and so next we have next on NPR. We have NBR. Um, we have so and so. And my fat thumbs just get tired of sitting there

waiting, you know, and then it just like falls onto the phone and then click your gone. So sorry everybody, but super fun times last night. Yeah, the best part was that someone so lovely came on and was like, I don't really have anything to say, I just want to say I have this long drive and I just, I'm so grateful for you guys for the content you put out. And I just hope you realize all the happiness and the joy, yeah.

And Roddy just hung up on her. She was just being so nice. She was like, I'm only here to just be nice to you, right? That one, I was like, hang up. Glad you had it. I didn't mean it like that. So sorry. Listen, you're not to explain it to me. Okay. As I'm literally talking over you right now, because you and I, we like like dead air, like with the moment we hear dead air, we just

start talking. And then it becomes then the anticipation of dead air. So a lot of times, what I think you're done with your sentence, but you're only at a comma, but I think it's a period, I just start talking. And sometimes that just happens for us, unfortunately. It was just life. But anyway, sorry about that, but super fun times. And guess what? That's every Monday night. And it's 7 p.m. Pacific 10 p.m. Eastern. We also have bonus episodes, video recaps. And that's all on patreon.com slash watch what correct teams. Okay.

Oh, and winter is crappin'ing. That's our game of Thrones podcast. We're doing House of the Dragon, all B, because it's on. So that's been super fun, and you guys are subscribing, so thank you. Yeah. And by the way, thanks to everyone, you know, on the Southern Charm Podcast, I basically earnestly, and like, there was unabashedly, it was just like, can you guys follow us on social media? And you know what, a whole bunch of you guys did follow us on Instagram and Twitter.

So thank you so much for doing that. You really didn't have to, but it was really kind that you did. Well, put a lovely positive start to this show. Yeah. Now let's wrap below Deck Med and you did. Well, put a lovely positive start to this show. Yeah, now let's wrap below deck, Matt, a new asshole. Come on. Ranny, Ranny, Ranny, Ranny, to the bridge. Okay, Ranny, we gotta talk about that pantry, Ranny. By the way, before we even get into that,

I did feel a little bad for this crew because it's now the thing, the equivalent of the vacation on a real house I've shown is that the one episode where they have like a day off, and they go to the next level. I mean, now a thing, it's been every season of below deck

that's ever happened. No, it, well, it's been for the past like five years, but like it wasn't always like that originally, but now they always get, you know, I, it is silly that I'm saying now, you're right, you're right. But, you know, the guy is a new trend,

the day of the day off. The low deck, they have charters. This poor group, this has got up, this had to been one of the most rundown sad looking beach clubs they've ever gone to on this entire franchise. I mean, it was like, it was basically someone's had some shed lounges in front of like some, some communist era apartment buildings. I mean, I don't even think Malta was a communist country, but it just sounds like this is sad. This is a very, very sad beach club.

I thought it was cool because they had like hot tubs in the rocks. Is that what you didn't like? You're not a very rustic country. Hello, don't I'd like that was the one good part, but those rocks were also like slippery as you saw with Dave. I don't know, I felt like the whole thing just look kind of dirty and janky. I felt like there were really coasting on there like embedded hot tub features. Well, it's the season of that, because I mean, this boat is, it's like, well, it's a hybrid and it's shit, you know,

it's like the worst. Also, yeah, I just, you know, the Beach Club, I don't have huge opinions about my main gripe about it is that it was outside. I wouldn't go. I'd be like, this needs to be indoors. Yeah, I just like put like one palm tree out or something. Yeah, outside's disgusting. I don't think people should do that. So, um, let's see, where do we start? I'm at the end of my name. So, it's not a good place to start. I'm gonna go up. I'll tell you. Tash, tash, tash to the bridge.

Come to the bridge, okay? Hey, so basically they've just dropped off the group. And music, it's very, very dramatic. Yeah, and Natasha goes up to the bridge and sits down and faces Sandy. And she has that big smile on her face, like, did you want a blue wall or a shirt? It's curacao and it's curacao and pick your juice and whiskey. Would you like to meet Steve and then? And she's like, hey, because she sees that little girl

smile, you know, like, sorry, I didn't hit you, you dosed it with the paper mom. It's like, all right. So she's like, hey there, little girl. You hear to sell some cookies? And she gives her that little smile. She's like, now listen. I don't want to crush your spirit. You're awesome at service.

Here's the problem. Hannah. Okay, here's the other problem. It's filthy downstairs. So, you know, when guests are winding down, you have two people on service Is that really necessary? She's like we do we need to pay for You do not need to fucking people on service to sit there and watch the drunk girls roll around the floor in their bikinis

Making fart jokes now you get that like literally in the previews from last week when Natasha goes up to Kyle and says I want to have some food and he's like you literally Troy and me rock now. He was sitting on him on you're just sitting He was sitting on his chest lounge and previous to that he was trying to face time with Frank So you don't need that second person Well, since you have two people can't one clean because I don't want to walk into a shit show and two people can't one clean because I don't want to walk into a shit show. And Tasha's like, we don't physically have enough eyes in the day to do it. Okay, you know what, go to your, go, go up the chain to God. Okay, just keep going through managers until you get to God. We all have the same amount of hours in the day. Clean the fucking boat, man. We've seen this show enough times to

know that like you can do the pantry. Like this has actually, man. We've seen this show enough times to know that like, you can do the pantry. Like, this has actually never been an issue on any blow deck before. So, you know, we've seen enough footage of you guys lying around in bed or gossiping clean the pantry. So Sandy goes, okay, well, so last night, I mean, if they were up till five within that moment, it's not like you're with them twenty-first seven. It's about time management And before you go down the floors have to be cleaned and I don't want you to think that that I that I don't think you're doing a good job Your drinks although they mystify me in our strange or our colors. I've never seen before they're incredible

Your cash jumes. I don't even I don't even know where you find those costumes. I mean your idea. They're great It's just that Everything else is extremely extremely dirty I don't even know where you find those costumes. I mean, you're right, they're great. It's just that everything else is extremely, extremely dirty. Yeah, she's like, you're great with a stuffed taco. Otherwise, you need to work on it. And so she's all upset, but she gives that sad victim smile. And she's like, it's my job to take criticisms like this. So I'm gonna do my best.

Perfect. Queen the fucking pantry. Pick up a spray bottle of something. There's no need to cry about it. Are you kidding? You got time to giggle. You got time to wiggle. A mop. Okay. Everything about you is fantastic, except the products you use, specifically, you're not using fantastic on those floors. So come on, get to it.

So she goes down and Dave's like, all you good. She's like, what was that Dave? Nothing. I'm not good if I'm not good. He's like, actually, I adore you. Yeah, we know Dave, okay? Back off. He's like, remember, you're doing a fantastic job.

Well, it's just that my mother clean has a Dave. We're more than clean. You're really not. Pick up a mop. Listen, get out, Steve. mop with Stephen, I don't care. Just put some cleaning product on the dildo and just roll him across the floor. It would be better than what's going on. Yeah, whatever it takes and Dave goes, I can't do this without you. You need to know that. Did you say something, Dave?

No, I said nothing. All right. By the way, great work with that potato you've frosted last night. Sorry, Interrupted, you love of my life. Well, I've given you all the love I can bear at the moment. So I'm going to die. What? Some glaze. Going to die. Some glaze right now. I tie your teeth. Do you tie your teeth? That's not glaze you holding. It's a...it's a shellfish.

So talk about. It's a scallop. You're squeezing a scallop onto your potato. Maybe I do need some rest. It's how I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I'm talking about it's a scallop. You're squeezing a scallop onto your potato. Maybe I do need some rest. That's how I love.

So the boat is, you know, moving, it's driving. And then she did this shot of Sandy that's so funny. And you're like, you know what, Sandy? I don't think we've really got a nice shot of you smiling this season. Could you give us one? So she's like steering the boat and just smiling off to the side like yeah, it's like she was doing an 80s sitcom

Oh, but it's like it's Captain Sandy Smile. Hey, guess what kind of wind I have smile wind I'll show the love boat who's the love boat. Okay, except we're more like the filth boat But you know we're gonna turn that around not the boat but the bill trying to steal Hannah's new job on the love boat Has the love wind So I get up here. I You're so good with drinks, but got that for his filthy

What by the way I They have they're now showing extended commercials for the love boat on CBS. And there's like a part of me that would have watched it, but I just don't think I'll be able to get past the Jariokhan love it all. Like, we know this is what it's gonna be. All right, we got a bunch of guys on the boat

and a bunch of girls. And it's hilarious, cause when guys are on a boat, they're like, let's relax. When girls are on a boat, they're like, let's go are on a boat they're like let's go shopping am I right and Rebecca Romane just gonna nod be like yeah she's like oh Jerry god is me funny you guys I live with him every day I know I've watched a little bit of the new star trek and and uh trek is he gonna it and no she is though Rebecca remains in it oh and uh at least she was in the first one, actually, all I've watched. It's very deposit.

Everyone's like, oh my God, the new Star Trek, it's so positive. And I was like, gross. It is very positive, so I turned it off. Anyway, she's on it. And every time I see her, it's hard to separate the camera. I'm like, ooh, Gerry O'Connell. Does he spit in your face when he talks?

I've heard like actually nothing, but like the warmest things. I hear he's just like such an amazing person, but he's been doing the whole stick of like, this is what men really think for like 25 years. Like it was like, I mean long, I don't know. I drew like it's been since the 90s when he did like, when he and Alan

they had that weird alternate version of the view. And it was like, all right, this is the other side. Okay, this is what was like all right. This is the other side. Okay This is what guys like to do watching football am I Guys want to grill a chicken while we talk God guys are different. I'm a guy, but I love watching bravo. God. I love being a guy watch that's the thing about guys I'm like we get it We get it. We get it.

We're trying to watch a fuck so here. Okay. I don't need your dad jokes. Get off. We need to watch hot people fucking each other and then fucking each other over on a boat for no good reason. Okay. Go. Go where you're needed, sir. Yeah, he was the weirdest replacement for Wendy Williams too. They were like, Wendy's not feeling well, so we're gonna have a replacement. And I'm like, ooh, what bitch are they gonna get? Cause you know, it's gonna be somewhat super bitchy, you know? Cause that's the whole point.

It's the Wendy Williams show. And I'm like, Jerry O'Connell, hey Jerry, what's your hot tea? He's like, guess who I love today. Everybody, okay, that's hot tea. What does this show five songs? What was the name of the show? They actually had on Bravo. That was after Andy Cohen that he not it. What is it show five seconds? What was the name of the show they actually had on Bravo? That was after Andy Cohen that he was on.

Remember, it was like guys. He was like what guys think of Bravo? And remember they had like, there was like that ultimate fighter guy. There was like a UFC guy on there who like they were trying to convince us that this guy watched Bravo. And they're like who is that?

Bravo House, so I think it goes, Vicki Gunvelson. And then like I I was like why is this guy on here? And then I looked him up on Instagram and he didn't follow a single Bravo star Like this is the biggest biggest biggest imposter ever. Oh god. No one cares what straight people think of fucking Bravo Okay, we don't care get them off of my people Well straight men specifically we like straight men. Oh, yeah, straight man. Yeah, yeah, straight man. So let's see. So no offense straight man. If there's any business is really fun, it's like the only thing that straight men listen to is this episode. We're like, you know, this is straight man.

Actually, I'm down for what straight men have to say about Bravo if they're really funny about it. I'll reframe it that way. I mean, yeah, straighter guy, anybody saying the hottest housewife is Vicki Gumbelsen. You got another thing coming to you, son. I just remember he had some crazy, crazy hot take that I feel like was about Vicki Gumbelsen. I was like, oh, you don't watch Bravo. You watched six episodes that they gave you. You watched the sizzle reel that the producers gave you

so you could catch up and banter. And that's what you did. Oh my gosh. Okay, so back to this straight person, this straight male show, the captain smiling, creepily, washing students. Okay, so then we go down to Natalia and Laundry and I don't know what happens, but she's like Siti Roy!

It's like yes, I love the anger in the laundry. I love just the constant shittiness coming from Natalia. Yeah, she's kind of like serving up shoebox greeting cards from the laundry room this episode. She's like, everything is kind of like the second, when you open up a shoebox greeting card and it looks like the punch line, that's just the stuff that she's saying. Like, well you look L2.

Like, it's much like the soft opening on the front that leads to the punch line. It's just the servicy right. And your fat too. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. It doesn't work without the front of the card. You know, there's like an intern somewhere, they're like, okay, we need three more shoebox greetings.

It's like, well, I got a good setup. Like, you remind me of a waffle maker. I don't know how to bring it home. Hold on one second. Hey, Tyler, you have the setup is you remind me of a waffle maker. Cause your face is full of crisscrosses. Got it, thank you.

So, I love that Maxine ends up just resorting to your face is criss-crossed. That's like the worst card. It's just a straight-up insult that I've not been doing your part. And you've got big feet. You're a single use appliance. So yeah, she's doing that and then the boat is about to dock Well, they crash well they crash so a lot of stone is clear Oh, big three big three Jason Jason. Oh, we have B3 and Jason's just giving twirl fingers. I'm not really sure I'm like are you telling them to do a cartwheel? Like what are you doing? He looks like he's doing like a lasso trick without the lasso, you know?

And so, and then like, I'm like, okay, once again, another fake out, but honestly, this season the fake out, we really don't know, cause they got damn close to one of those dolphins, like Zias, that they're out of fender, and then actually the dolphin like bounces off the fender, which to me counts as contacts. I'm gonna say that's our third hit of a dolphins, like Zias that throw out a fender, and it actually, the dolphin bounces off the fender, which to me, counts as contacts.

I'm gonna say, that's our third hit of a dolphin, okay? Oh, I feel like. I feel like, I want to grease clearly. I feel like all of this tight spaces that they're having to park in, it's because it's a hybrid boat, and I feel like all of the dogs are like, oh, got, get him to go and be three.

Get him to go and be three, fucking hybrid. Because that's what it's like at the grocery store ever since fucking hybrid cars started coming out Yeah, I'm not sure I have a hybrid car, okay, but Ever since the Prius became like popular a long time. I know it's a long time ago. Okay young people You're like when Prius is weren't invented before photography now they weren't okay So anyway when those started to come out and they started making all of the parking spaces really tiny So only those cars could park. I mean that's what this boat is like So anyway, when those started to come out and they started making all of the parking spaces really tiny,

so only those cars could park. I mean, that's what this boat is like. They're punishing the Prius owners. Yeah, I feel that way. But luckily, they get into their parking spot all right eventually. And then that leads to store, I mean, Z doing his usual, yeah, storm is really becoming a good person. I believe in him. I'm like, I feel like the next episode we're just gonna see Z on like a bicycle with like a baseball card in the spokes. Like childhood.

Yes, we've had like that young innocence about him where he believes in things like boson's name, storm. Yeah, he's one of those friends that support so supportive. He's just glad that you got home alive, you know, he's because this, but this was not a good parking. I mean, they were about to hit the freaking donut dolphin, whatever, the dolphin donut. And they're like, look, the founder, I'm like, they're like, going to find doing to stop it from hitting the boat. And then they barely missed it. And he's like, wow, he should be the next president. I know. So Sandy's like, you did a good job. Okay, because that wind was blowing that battle over.

Okay. So, uh, hey, now go, now go wash this entire boat by hand. Okay, good luck. Have a great night. So then Tasha is getting a text from her boyfriend. What is she? I need to see the text that she sent me because I feel like So then Tasha is getting a text from her boyfriend. What is she, I need to see the text that she's sending because I feel like they're doing this guy in a disservice by only showing his texts. Because you notice you never show, they never show what's leading up to this.

Because his text now is desperate. It's like, I just, I don't know what to do. I'm drawing a slow death and I can't talk to you. What is drawing a slow death over? What is she telling you on these texts? Well, we did later on we got we got to see one of the texts that she sends and we got like a little insight but I don't I don't think it's for a little bit. There's a pounding at my door. I think I'm about to be murdered. Hello? Will you write me back? Please write me back. I'm desperate. I'm desperate to know.

She just has cool fingers. Yeah, I feel like she is saying that she's like in severe danger. The sport guy's like, Oh, where are you? Turn on your phone with my friends. So hey, it's time for a tip meeting. Hey, okay, now that we're all gathered here, let me just say From the interior to the deck when it comes to service Have we had one complaint not one that's unusual but at the same time we got to maintain our vessel I mean this is 20,000 Dollars tip, okay, by the way, didn't the very first charter there wasn't that one guy complaining so much about everything He's like, Ray and I just don't like her. I don't like that. Looks she gives me. Like, I just got a bad vibe off of her. Wasn't

it? You've planned about literally everything and all the food. Yeah, it's called gay eraser. Yeah, thank you. They're just pretending none of that ever happened. Still like, just forget that guy. Well, you're going to do, you're doing such an amazing job, not cleaning things that the owners have decided to give you, wait for it, a new car, just kidding, a day off, some shitty club where they also don't clean very much. So you should be all right at home. They're sending you to the former location of Pontiac automobiles of Malta, which has

now been converted to a beach club of some sort. So I hope you all enjoy it. And by the way, Z, I personally want to wish you a happy birthday and I'm sure all the people that you've supported so so happily this season will come to support you for your birthday tonight. Okay. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life, but come on one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid,

but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking,

oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder e app. It comes commercial. So Tasha and Kyle are like giggling in the kitchen. They're like, oh my god, oh my god, you're steaming. And Tanya passes through like, cool, god, you see me in the middle. Ha! And to all you pass this through, like, go, just die, just die. And your cancels too. Okay.

We made the front of the court, understand that? And did you see that Dave had made yet another cake with a purple mirror glaze just sitting on the counter? I think that it was like Z's birthday cake. They just didn't like show it on the show. But like, there was still another, there's a new cake with a new mirror glaze. Yeah.

So then Tosh is in bed with Kyle Kiggling, like rolling all over the bed like, and she's like, oh, he says, you know, I'm really pissing myself about that charter. Oh, give my minute, I gave my minimal to the guests. I'll give back two percent to these guests. I'll give you about 2% to those guests. And say, We're all fucking human beings at the end of the tear. I just sometimes you need half an hour. And this is one of things that get John,

giggling in the cabins. And it's all you just pass us by, I'll play it on. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. That's why things don't get done. So Natasha's like, the pantry mat look like shit, but at least I'm good at my job. I'm like, well, actually, I think the first part of your sentence

nullifies the second part of your sentence. Yeah, there's flies all over the spots in the pantry, but at least I'm good at my job. So then, okay, what is with this show? You know, look, if I went on any below deck, really, any place, any version of below deck, I would be terrified because it seems that somebody is, somebody's family member is always going through something horrible. Like there's at least one person on the boat who's just going through it. It's terrible. It's so sad, but it seems like that's the

curse of being on below deck. You know, it's like, well, it's going to be one of you taking number. Well, well, either a family member is going through something terrible or you have a child somewhere that needs to face time with you so that way you can cry and be like, I'm doing this all for my child in Florida. It's one of the other. It's usually both and I really, I'm really sad that there's not a deadbeat dad on this boat. Where are you? I need you. It feels empty without you. Yeah, so our Courtney gets a text from her mom because a story line, not a story line, but like basically something that we learned about last season is that her dad has Alzheimer's So that's continuing on and so she's just we just so you're getting a text from her mom

Just checking in and she's checking she's like I'm good. They're like we're good and like I Remember I couldn't remember what was along with her dad I just remember that there was something bad going on with her dad So we knew that like okay, this could be an episode where we're gonna touch on this Yeah, so sad. So then Storm and also I feel bad, because I'm like, Courtney's a shit head.

Has anybody noticed Courtney's really a jerk? And now I feel bad, sorry. Take it back. So Storm is saying, it's like Storm's a big moment. He's loving his work monologues this season. And this one is with the past few charters of made mistakes. There was hitting a dolphin not using the radio right being late on a beach party. But I need sent it to see I'm committed to my job. If I have to stay

in the water, oh, dang, I'm going to clean in the water. So he jumps down into the tender and cleans the side of the boat. Yeah, he's cleaning the hole essentially. So then meanwhile, then meanwhile, Kyle and Natasha are cleaning the pantry finally, they're finally getting to it and Kyle is like, Cape, you want to say the whole thing, you'll fucking see what we can do for you, babe. I'm like, well, that's great, but that's probably what you should. Like, don't act like you're doing her any favors. This is your job. Oh, yeah, you want to see it fine You're gonna see it. I was like are you threatening to clean now? I know and then the next shot was them

Then they're like more cleaning more and then he goes you know what? No really. I'm over this. I'm over this I'm like well, so which one is it? You're gonna see how clean is I'm over it. I'm over it. I know crap too I'm exhausted. I've really got to get a beat. So Jason Z, Jason Z Storm Z, Jason Storm Storm Storm. So um, they're going to have a little deck meeting and that's what Paul's like, this robs my teeth, it robs my teeth. So then Tasha's like, well I don't want to be on someone's head list but I can't aim and the only way to get shot with this is not to go out tonight don't worry about me I don't need feelings or substance or any kind of social fun I only need to be in the pantry. It's Christ's sake, is there room in this hallway

and effort across? Crawl up on it? Yeah. Oh, it seems like they pulled out a violin from the costume closet there. You know. I'll just stay in and get this leftover birthday cake. I thought you said it was a potato.

Did you say something there? No. No. Why does this birthday cake have I thought you said it was a potato. Did you say something, Dave? No. Why does this, what does this worth, that cake have sour cream and chow's all over it? Damn it. Says a little Fisher to me. It's the scallop, isn't it? Oh, yes.

So people are getting ready to go out in a tall you're showering and Kyle's like, we're having fun tonight babe. I'm gonna sit home and clean the paint tray. Hon. And she's like, stop being stupid. It's cruny there. Yeah. I know.

So I'm actually dead ass series. I'm dead ass. I'm dead ass. So. And she calls it. She calls it pretty on the nose. Yes, she's sort of like a credit. She calls most of pretty on the nose. Yeah, she's certainly not there.

She calls most of this on the nose. She's like, it's a bit dang, they've been still. Fish and try to look like matters. They could have figured this out in five minutes and they just stopped giggling and the time is so. And the five hours that they had, not five minutes, the whole afternoon that they apparently didn't do it. Oh yeah, true.

And Natasha's like, it's not mouth out. Well, that's absolute rubbish. Sorry, and that's a pun, because there's literally rubbish all over the pantry right now. She won't creak. And it's not my fault. Obviously, something really annoyed,

Captain Sandy about the pantry today. Can't imagine what it would be. And she's like, ridiculous. Fuck off. I'm not staying sorry. They four hours this afternoon. Four, five. I don't remember. Yeah. And she's like, I don't feel bad because guess what? Pantry isn't fucking mine. Wings, wings, wings. So then Jason is like, Jason's like, I'll help out with the pantry because that way I don't have to talk to people. And then Courtney goes, Jason's like, I'll help out with the pantry because that way I don't have to talk to people. And then Courtney goes, Courtney's like, honestly, fuck off Jason,

she's like so mad at him. Well, we don't have to do it. We can do it in the morning. And you know what? She should be grateful because we're doing to, oh, no, this is torture. She's like, she should be grateful. What do you in the crew of favor? If she wants to be mad about that, I just can't win. So basically, Natasha is staying in, Kyle is staying in, and Storm is staying in, because he's still cleaning the hole. So now they're just basically four people.

Oh, and Jason's staying in. So it's just four of them going out for Z's birthday dinner, which is kind of sad. Just Dave, Zee, Courtney, and Natalia. So they go out to this museum where they're apparently having dinner and then we see Kyle cleaning floors and he's like, my mom made you this every summer holiday. This like feels so normal. I'm like, well, it felt, if it feels so normal, why weren't you doing it last night while the girls were drinking, huh? And Josh is like, sorry, Z us just like Sorry, he's like well looks like we're like skiing somewhere and

He's like wow at dinners. He's like wow seems so quiet and he's got this like sad little birthday balloon It's like not really floating. It's just kind of hanging there, you know And then Kyle's like it's so sad. I spit I spit more time on my days scrubbing floors and sucking dick get us serious Don't that so then we'll have to ask Frank about that Cheers So now they're going out anyway, so it's all fine, you know They still get to go out and they'll get a medal for doing this during such an emotional time for Z So back at the restaurant Taliali is like, is anyone single? And Dave's like, yeah, every time I try, it just doesn't work. And Courtney's like, wait, you and Tasha

just friends? I'm new to all this. I don't really gossip about it with Tali all the time and call Tasha slut behind her back. So go ahead and talk about it openly. Yeah, I came in, I came in half way through. So you guys are just friends, right? You didn't do anything crazy like send her obsessive text messages or have an emotional breakdown right in front of Captain Sandy over her, right? Nothing like that, right? And he's like, yeah, she's back with a boyfriend. I tried a few different techniques with her. I tried the whole not being helpful, you know, like why the fuck should I help? That didn't work. I tried dying glazes and pink hearts and colors and that didn't work. I tried footing sour cream and

chives on a cake. It's a cake that I thought was a potato. I'm still not quite convinced it's not a potato. That wasn't really love though. That was just confusion apparently. I've ever put a mirror glaze on a potato skin. It's strange, but it works. So I was like, well there's rock and there's rock and to me, through someone's feelings, well, I have a partner back hope. That's just like, rock, okay? So Courtney is like, yeah, Dave, I've been in your situation before, you know, being actually know what happened. You know, you know, being actually now I happen to you, you're

really on your own for this one. I was trying to empathize for a moment. I think it terrifying, alcohol, like with the rage issues. Yeah, that sucks. It's when I took up turkey. So Tali, you have to realize you've reached something. It's not cool. I mean, it's like, uh, no, exactly. Exactly. That's right. And it's like, well, I'm at the point now, well, I'm not going to be carrying a lot. You say it about your boyfriend,

but you've got the boyfriend on board. How many boyfriend do you need? I don't care. Hold on. Open the back of the card. And you're always a kind of cross to. So now the martyrs have finished organizing the pantry. And they roll in the three crucifixes and place them on the hill. And Dave's eyes when he sees Natasha. I mean, Jesus, like reflections of little firecrackers going off.

He's like, wow, it's the woman who can change the potato back into a cake. Oh, God, God. Welcome to Greek Parodos. So then, like, so that Jason goes, he's like, this isn't a restaurant, is it? And they're like, no, it's a museum. He's like, back commodities. We went to restaurants that were restaurants.

And he's like, nice party. Back commodities we went to restaurants that were restaurants And he's like a nice party and Quartan's like it's a museum. It's how it's not to be you know, it's how to rave in here or whatever Storm's like hey, you know what hey, let's do who we fingers. What does that mean? Let's do who we fingers. That's what I don't I don't I don't know what that was, but I know that one. I don't know. He was moving on. But Talia's like, did you say something, Rhanna? But then Talia's like, hey, Ben, let's do who we fingers.

Who we? You know, it's almost going to be like actually who we fingers is like a fairly common ritual in Malta. So it's not really a misspelling or a typo. It's real saying, how dare you. So then Talia says to Storm, you should have been here from the moment it started. Also, wait for it. Happy birthday. So the storm is like, it's the storm is like, who's he's not upset by it. And Talia's like, was he's not upset by it? And I was like, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Yeah. And Jason's like, hey, can someone give me their wine glass? Because I want some wine and some enhance with money.

He's like, you know, I have herpes. Do you? Yeah. And they're like, oh, Courtney's like, right. I hate this guy. So she gets up and basically takes everyone from the table to go vape. Yeah. And so then Jason's like, I can't say shit around you guys. Like everyone gets offended and Natasha's like, I'm not going to take offense. Do you feel like you're on axials?

You've been amazing for us on the interior. Here, let me get you a celebratory shot. It's called the the panic stricken leprechaun. It's crammed. It's crammed in vents with whole milk and also drain drain drain. I'll just say you never know if you're gonna make it through. And Jason's like well you're like one of the only few people that I have a myado apologize. And she's like, well, he knows who put the cleanliness of the bar. I get about everything else and the wrong happiness in life made to stick together.

Don't worry. So Jason's like, you know, I just like view the deck who has nothing more than co-workers. Like it kind of reminds me of back when I was working out at Dastage. You know I used to work at a desk I used to. And I would avoid every corporate event. And yet I still had better friendships with them than I do with these motherfuckers. I guess part of it is because I was one of several straight white men who we just do what we wanted and now people actually challenge me and it's like fuck them, right? So anyway, commodities. Yeah, and he goes, yeah, that's a thing. There's

like an empty. They're all selfish motherfuckers. Geez. Sorry, your herpes comment didn't go out. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Maybe like workshops more of those jokes. They've been workshopped the charm a little bit. And don't spend that, too. Maybe it stops spitting. So then everybody's in the club now, and they're doing shots. And Kyle and Tasha are like, I'm like, gold, we in cities, dad bad, the system shots. Let's pretend Frank is here and want to do the streets and say I love you. So now Natalia is telling Dave that she's completely on his side and Dave's like, it's all right, we're friends now and we are on the doubt.

She goes, single for over. And then we just see Jason just bored. Just like, you know, when I was in the corporate world, we never went to Malta. I now look where I am. Malta. And he is twerking and getting all lit for his birthday. And this blonde lady is like flirting with him and he's giving her eyes across the club. And he tells us, for me, pick up lines don't work. So I tried to make the eyes. And produce just like make up. And he's like, no, are you are you going gonna do it? I'm making them right now.

Those are the same eyes. Okay, try again. Do you want to go back to talking about doing dishes? That's a child. Talk about how well Storm parked about today. That's it. That's it. Got a boner. I got a boner. So now Z winds up dancing with this blonde girl. Her name is Mariana and she's like, I'm very talkative when I drink, the monster comes out and he's like, I want the monster. You want the monster? I'm talking monster! Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh! And he goes, you're stunning and she goes, you're adorable! Another shark? It's like, oh, God.

Ouch. Like, Zee, when he's here adorable, that means it's time to back away slowly. So yeah, stunning to adorable. Yeah. Yeah. It's time to just, time to keep looking, you know. So Tasha's like, well, we're leaving. And it's up to you if you want to stay. just like it was up to me, just stay down, down your bed, make sure the bottle's clean, see. Yeah. And so, uh, so she goes back, but then like Courtney and Dave are just like watching because they're like, I think part of it is that they're entertained, but also they are kind of making sure Z is gonna get back, all right? And Marianna's like,

Hey everyone left already, you should go really, really! And he's like, put his my birthday, I can do what I want to do. And honestly, the number one thing I want to do is you, and number two dishes, I'll be honest. So the first van gets home, and Jason's all mad. He's like, not mad. And Tasha's gets home and Jason's all mad. He's like, not mad. And it's just like, is Jason all right? And Kyle says,

well, he doesn't want to be chair, right, bad. Yeah, he doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be here for this vibe. So then storm storm says he's not going to talk to Jason on his day off because he just doesn't want to ruin Jason's one one day off. And then we go back to ruin Jason's one one day off. And then we go back to Mariana. And now Mariana and Courtney and Dave and Zero are all sitting together. Mariana is asking Courtney and Dave if they're dating.

And Mariana's and they're like no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And Mariana's like, I'm a very outgoing person, you know, because I'm married, not dead. How much clear do I have to put this? Okay, I'm just a woman who got married. I've been watching Wheel of Maltese Fortune and I came out here to get some flirts on. I'm going back home. And Zee just sighs with that kind of smile on his face but they're like, oh shit smile. And so he's like, God, what's going on? So Dave's like, all right, then. So I guess we're going to go and court me because I'm Mary on a forever

And then the courtians he have some like little jokies stuff where she's like I'm your number one Z He's like oh, I've seen forever So then back on the boat Jason's just like automatically in bed because he doesn't want to talk to anyone and Storm has declared that he wants to give a present to Natalia. So he goes to his room, he rummages around, and he starts, he basically is like, I've got a watch for Natalia and calls it, are you joking? Are you absolutely joking?

And Natasha is like, Storm, stop it, son. When did you have time to do that? Where? We haven't left the boat in three weeks. We were just out right now. We haven't. We've been on this boat for three weeks.

Listen, I don't want to have sex with you, so that doesn't work with me, all right? I've got it in Walmart. What if I said that we just finally docked in Anchorage, Alaska? No, it doesn't work on me. Try Dave. Dave walks in in a big snow coat. I'm ready.

He guys, he's on his elbow. So Kyle gasps at the watch he shows them the watching cows like oh And he goes whoa this is actually something And he invested trying money, but personally I wouldn't purchase someone a person autumn and told me to know him But not my monkey not my circus honey I said not my monkeys not my monkey not my circus Oh, I said not my monkey, not my monkey, not my circus. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, So Storm's like I'm gonna give her a gift so He goes to her room and then it's commercial. It's like is he gonna give her the gift and when we come back He does and she's like oh my god

What is that kid? Well, I'm supposed to do that. What am I pregnant already? What do I thought she's gonna? What is there minivan wedding? It's hard for me keep your eyes up here. No for me be whose what is What are you? What are you gonna boil up on it? Get the fuck out of here. And then guy off I'm like like across the hallways like you're honestly an ungrateful hoe. Like there's so many questions you should have said and like you could have just said thank you you trashy bitch. And she's like well freak me out so I told him to go away and call us this. Well when you don't love a person who does you that way, you're going to hate every moment of your life when you're an old bloody

babe. And that's what happened to me, you know, because I can't believe Frank even talks to me because I'm causing moto. And she goes, I can't believe you just admitted that you self. I love. By the way, this is the worst advice. Listen, if someone loves you and gives you a gift, you should love them back because later on,

no one's going to love you like that. That is the worst advice ever. You should be happy. You love who you want to love, not because someone has chosen that they want to live on you. You have a terrible idea. Kyle, no, what happened to you? Who did this damage?

It's not a great week for love on bravo because there's also some terrible stuff on real girlfriends in Paris where he's like, well, I mean, I don't really love him, but I mean, I guess that's love because like he's the only one who likes me. So I guess we'll just stay with him. I don't know. That's not what that's not the point. Okay. But anyway, this ends with Carl Kong. He fucking sloan bitch.

And he leaves. And this is like right after, he like, it's so funny because he like, CZ and he's like, oh, Z, don't you look like a pace okay? And then like a second later, then Natalia, you fucking sloan bitch. So Natalia tells us, we're stormed.

I think it's getting intense to see. Honestly, I don't think this relate. I don't think relationships last because my parents lasted till I was six. And then my dad, my mom said, she's left my dad because he's got a problem snoring. And my brother said, what are you idiot? They're divorced.

He's not coming back. So to me, it's just a short thing. Yeah, whenever I hear someone snoring, I automatically think people get divorced. Hahaha. That's a horrible thing to laugh at, but it's also so on, you know, on trend with the season of the show

where all of their traumas are so bizarre. Like, she left my date because he snowed. Well, I just love how Natalia's all her stories are basically her not picking up on some cues that are happening. It's like, well, we went to Valentine's Day and then we sitting there and in the middle of Valentine's Day He got a bit left and went back with his ex-girlfriend And I'm like I'm sure there was some part of it that was like

Listen, I think we should end this and she was like, well, let's do Valentine's Day anyway, and he's like sure But I'm waiting for this call for my girlfriend my my accent going back to But the story is like where we just sitting there and he went back to his ex had a no way. Oh, never look at fraud, Caleb Mary, saying. And then he's snoring. So then, uh, courts passing out and he carries her to bed and sees just stumbling truckingly down the hall. And then Natasha runs out to Kyle who's like laying on a couch outside giggling and she's like, I gotta shout you this takes you gonna die. It's from Frank. I'll tell you today. I say Frank, should I carry your own cows children and

he repart in all keep it all litters, years to have in all babies. So then they like leave a video for him and Natasha's like, can't wait to see you and have your babies. And girls, you don't even put a feel to own their fuck Islam vice, fuck, fuck body. I feel like we all have that gay guys, I'll have that girlfriend who's like, oh my god, I'll have your babies.

Like if you're not married at this age, and I'm not married at this age, I'm gonna have your babies. You guys need to stop that, because at some point we become old and we just say, okay, I'm then your fucked. Okay, like you really want a little Ronnie crawling around your house now.

But the next person who tells me that is getting some Ronnie Rampani's sperm, okay? Turkey-based did update. I'm gonna have a little baby Ronnie running around this world and you're not gonna be able to do anything about it. Yeah, I had a friend who once did that, who was like, you know, at this certain age, like, would you like donate sperm?

I was like, no, I'm not gonna do that, because then, like, I have to be part of that baby's life in like a formative way. And she's like, no, no, no, you don't have to be, I was like, I'm not gonna, you, I'm not gonna allow you to have a baby. And when the baby's like, where's my dad?

It's like, oh, your dad has actually been, but he doesn't want anything to do with you. I'm like, I'm not doing that to a child. Okay, I am not doing that. You kind of become the villain later. You know, trying to do somebody a favor and like, oh, really? Is that what I am a favor?

You're like, oh, that's what it's called. Find my address. Yeah, no, sorry, kid. Like, sorry for the damage, but this is on your mom right now, okay? Yeah, I just kind of wish that I was straight because I think I would have kids all over the world. I would be one of those guys who's just like,

oh, I was having fun, big deal. And then I had all these kids all over. And I would kind of like force me into some kind of parenting, you know? Or a yacht job. I never should have quit that dinner cruise. Never should have quit. Man, if I were straight, I would have had a kid somewhere in Florida, maybe around Fort

Lauderdale. And then I would have caught calling to me. Calling to me. So in the morning, storm is talking to Zither and bad and Storm's like, I gave to you a watch last night. He's like, I bought a watch for my sister and I decided to give it to Nidol. Yeah. Oh, romantic storm. Yeah.

There's so many layers to that. It's like, so you either bought a romantic gift for your sister or essentially gift for your romance, your object of your romance. Something's not working right. Yeah, so he's laughing and then he tells us, you know, now it's beautiful and wonderful in every aspect and she's crazy and I like it. She's just been someone who's grounded me but it's just how I am, dude. It's how I am grounded except intensely grounded. I'm not just grounded. I'm like in the ground only my head's sticking up from the ground. I'm like don't step on my head. Or don't step on my head. It's only because I'm more grounded than everybody

here. I'm like the first time. The first time I took a full tour of South for a little spin at six years old and wound up in a ditch. I was totally in the ground grounded. So then Z brings Mimosis to the Curls in bed. I think it's yeah. But I don't remember that. It is. It is. Z who does that. No, Z did that. I wrote that down too for some reason. And basically everyone's getting ready for the day off. They're getting dressed and everything. They hop into the vans. Kyle's chugging from a bottle of wine. They're just like the usual banter and happiness and enthusiasm. And they arrive at at the beach club And I thought what was so funny is as they walk into the beach club Kyle goes

Mmm, I love this man the ocean. I was like is this the first time you smell it all season You work on a boat I was like I'm not taking away from the sentiment, but like it feels weird to observe it now The ocean different here than it is like a block over there. Is it smell different at the Pontiac of Malta? I don't get it. And he's wearing like a Claire Spoteak weird beach ladies hat and some big all weird sunglasses on me this kid.

So but in the van, I just have to point out, Natalia's like, said, why shut the door or doing not shut the door? He's like, I just have to point out Natalia's like, said, why shut the door or do I not shut the door? He's like, I can shut the door. It's like, I'm capable. Thank you, ston. And then she's like, she's like, how do I have to be anniversary?

She's like, what are you doing after this? Because after this, I'm going to get a Mexico. This wrong going to do. I'm going to speak 10 days in Mexico. And he goes, oh, we'll all come to Mexico. I'll give you the best trip of your life. I was thinking of asking you. And she's like, oh, God, suffocation. My God, someone put a dry clean bag over my head because I feel suffocated. All right. Yeah. It is actually, I have to say, I think that is a little suffocating, but,

but she did say, what are you doing after this, which sort of sounded like it was an invitation. So maybe it's less suffocating, but like, I do not like it when I, if I declare that I'm gonna be doing something and someone does say something like, oh, I'll do that with you. I'm like, oh, that was not, that was not,

I was not opening that up for group trip. You'll know if I'm saying, do you want to come with me? Yeah, that was an email offer. Okay, I just announced I'm doing it. So then Courtney and Sai, oh, they're talking about how they haven't had me complained to you. Who, guys, we haven't had complaints.

And guys, I was like, yeah, I've came to the leave. We didn't have to last trip. They're always giving 2% the entire time. They all laugh. and that's very true. I'm glad you can at least see it. Yeah, I appreciate his self-awareness in this moment. So, yeah, so then there's like a lot of like, you know, they're at their beach club, they're like, the guys are swimming, Dave is like sliding on rocks for the person who is like the most all about like skiing

and surfing or whatever, he seems to be the least adept at walking on rocks. And then, and oh, so this is where we see Natasha texting her boyfriend. And this time, I assumed it was her boyfriend texting this, but it was her. This first text was from her and says, you have missiching at home as your dog mind a whilst you're out. And he goes, this is all too much. So I was trying to figure out what that was all, is she saying basically like, stop guilty me because I'm looking after your dog?

I guess, or maybe they were talking about the relationship before, because I thought he was saying that to her or so. I don't know. No, it was her saying that to him. Cause I thought the reverse two, and then I saw that little caption said Natasha, not don't know. No, it was first saying that to him. Cause I thought the reverse two, and then I saw that little caption said, Natasha, not Natasha's boyfriend.

Oh, maybe it's like, I can't understand why you broke up with me. And she's like, I was taking mine to the old room. And you know, it's just like a, it's a ficus. He's like, I could have sworn that it was a ficus. It's a dog. I have to walk it every day.

He's like, please, I'm desperate right now. So they ordered drinks and Dave goes into the ocean finally. Once he saves himself from falling on his ass five times. And does the butterfly. Who does that? It was amazing. I guess, Dave. Yes, we're got Dave. And so, I was like, oh, no, I mean, same time to multi-todd, the Olympics are over, I'm saying yeah, chee! And then Natasha's talking about how she still was really upset about Captain Sandy last night. She's like, that like hurt my, when you, tomorrow, when you recap

this, remember to say the heart really long. And she says, between that and my both and horrible messages and mind and it's dog months ago, I'm in a bedded space. And Jason's just, he's sitting by, he's sitting at the table next to the loungers, but he's just not really paying attention to them and he's eating. And Storm's like, Jay, you're okay, are you eating? Or Jay? And he's like, what? I was trying to figure out what you were doing, mate. And eating. And he, well, Jason has, like, for some reason, there's like several little boxes and bags and containers that are blocking their full view.

So instead of saying, I'm eating, like instead of confirming it, he slowly removes each item to have this very long, protracted reveal of a great reveal. A great reveal. It's like great. Thanks for that moment of suspense, Jason.

And then he goes, where did you get that from? I guess I ordered it So you do when you're working commodities or food Strong bar guys, okay, it's like where did you get he brought in his back pack Z okay? That's where he got it from I ordered it from the waiter So then Jason's like guys you got to break it down like in math terms I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Guys, you gotta break it down like in math terms.

There's eight yoddies, two have a toxic relationship. Four of them hate my guts, and that translates into six, I guess. Yeah. One day that fucking sucks. Oh, I'm sorry that you had to spend a day on a beach in the Mediterranean. That does suck. I get it. So then, is he's like, come join us because I'm good buddy. And

then the tiger, sorry. Congratulations on your graduation. I have never seen the salad causes from drama. I mean, they're really upset. The salad cost a lot. Okay. It officially drew the lines and the lines are drawn with Romaine. Yeah. In the sands, people are pissed. So then Dave comes out of the water and slips on the same spot, which says so much as he looks adorningly at their dogs. Just keep on falling on that same spot, stupid. No, don't say. Just keep on following on that same spot, stupid. It's true. It really is slippery here out in Alaska. So much ice. Y'all right, Dave. You're slipping on that volcano.

I'm pretty sure this is a shooter virus in Alaska. It's not. We went to a volcano instead. It's not. We went to a volcano instead. So then we go to Natalia talking to Z and she's like, um, listen, I respect you and I've got to talk to you about strong, some freaking air. I mean, they sent that he gave me a gift, a gift, a watch, all right, and tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, so like here, all right, this is my biological clock, or is the KCO from Malta, all right, and then in the car, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick tick, tick, tick tick, tick tick tick, no, I mean, for like two days, I'm not like, coil, okay.

So then touching Dave and Kyle are in the hot tub. And guys like, do you feel like, told you my energy shifted because she feels guilty. She feels pantry guilt about not staying with us. Less not. Bye. I don't think she feels guilty. I think she's annoyed that she's doing all the work while you guys are sitting around But it's nice of it's nice of him to like adjust the worldview that like That she feels bad that she could she didn't spend stuff that 45 minutes cleaning a pantry

I mean they're making it sound like they spent a week all those pantry right I know So then Dave's like, what look at your cupboards though? Look how nice and neat the pantry turned out. They're like, shut up Dave. Go buy the better one. He's like, no, she's guilty. And then it turns, they cut to Natalia feeling guilty. And she's like twerking for storm and Z.

Yeah. Look how guilty she's. Seven Kyle's like, not is it taking time, Volm? She's always on fuse. She doesn't fight for emotions. Like what does your and you're the cause of them. The one who loses your shit constantly. Like when does she lose her shit?

She hasn't lost her shit. She stayed calm. You're the one losing your shit constantly. Like when does she lose her shit? She hasn't lost her shit. She stayed calm. You're the one losing your shit. She has a she she lets out her emotions steadily through a stream of angry quips from the laundry room. Just stay fit. Yeah. That's a way to stupid life. So now it's just Tosh and Dave and she's like, I'm just saying that's saying about the comments and they made And she's like, I'm just still upset about the comments that they made. Because I've got a lot of respect for Sunday. I love working for her. And I'm just like, I think you're fucking incredible. And now you're saying I'm inevitable?

No, incredible. Never could I never recover. They've seems like themselves, more like the person a metal less but as much as I didn't like the person where he was when we were going to this drama he doesn't know how to make me feel better. Did you say something? No Dave it was the volcano rumbling. I mean make it wish you saying she wants to be the drama queen who's being comforted.

You know like it's hard when you're the drama queen being comforted and then the guy becomes a drama queen too and you're like, wait, I'm not into this role reversal. Okay. Let's stick to our roles. Okay. Let's not go off the script here. Yeah. Buddy. It's almost like she wants these romances on certain terms. And yet like, when the guy's's waiver from the terms she freaks out and doesn't say, she doesn't say like, whoa, I thought this is what we agreed upon, she's just like, it's frickin' out.

And then just like stop talking to them. Like she didn't think so. I'm starting to think it's just kind of modern romance in that we're so used to not having to interact if we don't want to. You know, listen, like I don't interact with that many people. I mean, I talk to you every day on the phone and I talk to other people on the phone and like text or tweet or whatever. So when I actually have to interact with real people,

it's harder. And I think that she's just into text relationships. I think there just needs to be like, I'm by textual. And that's it. All I want to do is text I don't when it's real get out of my car. You know like don't be in my car You can come on to the Apple car play like when Siri is reading your text to me, but that's really all I want I yeah, I mean except that she's also she's in a text relationship now that she's messing up I would probably say that's what I'm saying, but she's like loving it. You know what I mean? She probably just has massive self-esteem issues. And so like, you know, she is like gravitated. She gravitated towards these guys, but then when they show her too much interest, she probably freaks out about it. She probably feels like, like, why would these guys

like me so much? And so then that causes her to freak out. Like, I feel like that's a pretty classic standard, you know, self-esteemy thing to do. So I'm gonna go with that. Okay, I'm gonna stick with bi-text draw. She can be a ghost. So then Tali is kind of lingual storm and he's like, he grows on getting my name, I'm getting your name tattooed on me. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, too much, too much. Okay, I have to say storm.

At some point, he has to listen to what she's saying. Okay. Like how like it's really not that hard. She clearly, she's like been traumatized by relationships. Okay. She doesn't want too much investment. So staying you're going to get your name tattooed. There's too much. And then he goes, no, it's over. And I'm getting Z's name too. So don't think of special. I'm talking to make it.

You're both doing too much and too little at the same time. How are you doing that? Like you're doing too much and then you're also undermining the too much that you're doing. Just just step away from gestures. Don't do gestures. And then he's like, well, I was worried about the watch and she's like, well, I locked the watch. She's just the meaning behind the watch. He's like, well, okay, for the watch too. Get over it. I was curious. I was confused about the inscription on the watch on the back when it said,

to thank you for being such a great passenger and all my cars when I drove you to school. I didn't understand that. No. No. She's like, I'm just worried. It's my life and I don't want to settle. And he's like, no one's asking you to settle

or it's fine then, I'll back off. And then, you know, I don't want to see it all. And he's like, no one's asking you to settle or it's fun then, all back off. And then, you know what, I can't stand this too. I can't stand like, why does, like when she said, like, like, he's not asking you to settle, yes, but like when she's saying this, he, why is he not just saying, oh, sorry, I didn't mean to send that vibe. Why has it then become a, like, I'm now I'm mad at you because you accused me of like this. It's like just, just be like

chill and say, oh my goodness, no, that's not what I meant. I just was giving you a gift and said, be like, I didn't ask you to settle. Okay, I'm going to back off like it just becomes this like passive, aggressive battle. Yeah, so then he goes over to Kyle and Natasha and he's like, wow all I wanted to do was give us some love Kyle and Kyle goes, babe, I'm going to die for a watch or I would die for a man like you sweet a gourd. Oh and by the way, did you see what Kyle said about Frank? I watched what happens live last week? I sure did but you tell. I, basically the long and the short of it is that someone asked if like what happened with Kyle and Frank and Kyle was like, let me just do it in week out because I couldn't

deal with the ego. He basically said that Frank had a huge ego and then this was like posted. I think this is on Watchropping Live's official Instagram account that they posted it and I think that Frank wrote under it in like something like Nothing but love for Kyle So it didn't work out and Kyle accused Frank of an ego. So I I'm intrigued to know what the real truth is there Um, so then yeah, I mean who I don't care. Are you really intrigued? No, I'm just saying I need to finish my sentence How much I almost just went on.

I thought, wait a minute, please say you're not in the room. Slightly intrigued. I mean, look, Kyle falls in love with a guy who's on vacation selling the fan, they're both selling the fantasy to each other. This guy is like a gorgeous body and everything. And yeah, you know that when you get back to New York, Frank is not really gonna be available for you. He's gonna be, you know, he's gonna be like at like therapy

or G or wherever those blended places are and just be like living the life of someone who's hot, like while he still can be hot, that's just the way it goes, unfortunately. Yeah, I mean, I don't care. So then, a lot of analysis was episode, I gotta say. Yeah, that's just a relationship I don't care. I just feel like it's one of those that's like,

oh my God, I love you, I love you too. I don't know, I don't know, within the first five minutes, and then someone opens their diet coke and just kind of squeezes the can while they're drinking it, and you're like, ew, they squeezed their diet coke and just like kind of squeezes the can while they're drinking it and you're like, oh, they squeezed their diet coke cans. Um, we need to break up. Yes. That's how I feel that relationship was. So they all get changed for dinner and they're changing right on the beach and stuff. And then storm goes off down the beach by himself.

You know, kind of looks at the ocean, and to all you're like, I'm gold, where's Storm? Why is he crying? I'm like gold, most dramatic thing ever. He must want to stop singing to the sky. I have to say, this is, you know, sometimes I get like, like flashbacks at that awful, that awful relationship between Rob and Jess. I think it was the season that Hannah got fired,

that just terrible, codependent relationship and they were just so terrible and that really has become to me, like the example of a narcissistic codependent relationship. And every time this relationship seems like it's teetering in that direction, I do have to say I'm so grateful for Natalia

having enough emotional damage that she's like, oh come on. It's ridiculous. I don't do date. She's setting my results, start singing to the sky. And so she's like, what are you doing storm? And he's like, I'm just having a moment here. She's like, okay, it's too big of a moment.

All right. I'm just being myself and so she hugs him. And I was like, I'm like, God, they make me sick, fuck me. I'm a time for a watch. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Jason's like, you just got to that point.

He goes, I'm on a yacht, not love island. Like, Gerry Ogkahn, I'll pop up what if you can have both. The love boat premiering October 5th at CBS. Kyle, love me. The hypocrisy of him during this two weeks after. I love you, Rayng! Seriously. So back to Storm Italia.

He's like, I'm just doing my own thing and she says, well I'm just checking on you because I care. So obviously I'm going to check in. So why are you making me for checking in? I mean, it's like, I'm not doing what I'm doing for somebody to check on me. She's like, but you want me to care. So if you're like, if I'll come and check on you. You're like I don't want to see But these what he want then

It's like you know today was the first day I actually released a little bit of emotion the entire time that I've had it I didn't throw it deep in front of anyone Tires like you know what deal with the own temperature and then Yeah, just like I don't have time for this anyone, and Taya's like, you know what? Deal with your own temper, Tantrum then. Yeah. I don't have time for this. She's like, what do you want from this? I'm saying you're doing a great job, and then you're saying I don't need you.

So tell me to tell me that. Oh, I'm not asking for anything. It's like, but then you want me to make plans to do you, thanks to you. You want me to make plans to do these things to mix together to you. And he's like, I'm not asking you to do anything you don't want to.

Oh, God, you literally did confusing. Listen, I'm not asking you to do anything you don't want to. Oh, God, you literally did confusing. Listen, I'm not saying I don't want to sit all. I just want to take it slow. All right, please don't order Friday, I'll have my area so far. I'll tell you that right now. I don't understand what I've done to make it fast. She's like, okay, let me summarize.

Watch tattoo. Okay, I want you to realize that I've never had a relationship and also happy birthday to a great grandson. Let's rip off the bean day and start over the end. And Kyle's just watching in his Elton John glasses like. So they somehow get to a good place and they just they result to have a glass of water and eat a salad basically. So they all gather with everyone and they get into vans and Natalia now starts talking about

Jason how he's always like isolating himself and she's like if you're part of a social crew then sorry can you put a little bit more effort into it? Which is like I don't think that's part of the job description for, you know, to be fair to Jason, but he does have a point. She does have a point. Like, he has really made no effort and has depicted everyone to be, like, embrace him. Right. I think he wants somebody to be like, what's wrong, Jason?

Everything okay? Nobody we love you. But he's also so prickly that they can't do that. Because they're like, hey Jason, why don't you sit with us? He's like, no. So I tied the right knot. Yeah.

So also Jason, they get to dinner, right? And Jason brings in this huge bag, like a hiking bag that he's gonna be in the wilderness for seven days. And Carl goes, he brought your whole bag, I, and he goes, yeah. Okay. Jason, are you planning on leaving during dinner? Like, what's happening? I know.

Planning on just walking into the ocean. And it's all like, okay, so what's everyone thinking for dinner? And Jason goes, and all, wow, so quiet. You guys get so serious. And you know, with all the drama and exclusions and inclusions, I just want to say I'm honestly having the best time that to watch reference, right? Fuck romance. Dispunt. And with each and every one of you, I'm just loving this. So thank you for this Oscar award. And Zee starts laughing entirely goes, yeah entirely because yeah I want to say something to

because I always have to talk it always have to talk my Oscar speech now now it's not an Oscar speech just a Nobel Peace Prize award winning speech anyway everyone's been really great besides Kyle and I'm really glad you're here for it and I hope you're ready to get demoted to seventh's coil you get to moody, because I'm gonna get you a badge and says, 7th stee. And he says, well, I just want to be the crew member. I'm gonna be the only crew member that hasn't kicked off with another crew member. She goes, you've kicked off with every party. No one behind their backs.

So, Carl's like, she's like a Tasmanian devil. Very cute to look at, but hello annoying. Unlike Frank, it's very cute to look like a Tasmanian devil. Very cute to look at. But halloween annoying, unlike Frank. It's very cute to look like, but also unannoying, unhandsome and wonderful Frank. So they do it cheers and, Tolly Guss, hi. Hey, do you think it's a fittest? Oh, I missed, I missed her second.

I thought of you. I thought of you. That's so love Island. Yeah, I missed, I missed her saying that. I thought of you. I thought of you. That's so love Island. Yeah, I do. So I just wrote down dinner banter. And then Courtney and Kyle go vaping off to the side and Kyle's like, it's honestly lovely. And Courtney's like, I have a little it's going on.

Oh, and then this is when she starts talking about her dad having Alzheimer's, which is so sad and she's crying. And it's like, ugh, I feel so terrible. And then like, but then they like sort of tie this to her journey because she's like last year when she was cleaning toilets, I guess, and thinking about her dad and thinking about how life is short, that's what made her decide to go from toilets to being on deck crew. I was like, you know, I don't think we need to tie the deck crew journey onto this.

I think we can just let this sad moment, just be the sad moment that it is. And then I'm just gonna skip that, cause it's sad. So then in the van, Jason is singing about how he can't wait till he lay down, fucking Jason. So then they all get back to the boat and see him storm or sitting into the sea bob chairs

and Jason texts from downstairs because he's going to bed. And he's like, what's happening? He's starting work and don't say a little clock because no one laughs at that on this fucking boat. And Z does that pass or aggressive thing of like, not sure why don't you rest on. It's kind of like the what here, let me Google that for you, that website. And so then Z-Text and back. And he says, 830 on deck, please, but he writes PLS, which is even more cold, which is funny

because Z-Things he's being so warm. So Storm knows that like tomorrow, he's going to have to have this like ill-fated conversation with Jason, and he's really not looking forward to it. Yeah, answer now, it's the morning and they should it's like the but chance because you don't know. Yeah, it's that music and everybody's cleaning and then the music just stops and it's Jason trying to figure out the toaster because it won't turn on. And then the music starts again.

And then the music starts again Just stops him he's staring at the toaster and storms like god have got to talk to Jason She's like he made the actually sold it today and they say And he's like, oh, it's not plugged in. Classic. So then Sandy Wathwash, she's like, I love the pantry clean up. Wow, this is a, oh, look, there's a little note here. It says, pantry clean by two martyrs. Oh, that, that's just adorable.

Wow, pantry cleaned with the sweat of two hard workers. Wow, look at that. So then outside Courtney's like, um, hey, you know what, Jay, don't get soap on the chamme, because we have to use that chamme for other things when can't use it if they're soap. And he's So then there's more and Kyle's cut, Kyle tells Natalia, this is f**k Oh, do we have any boys to help with the crew mess? Because now we clean the crew mess and then I get mine and the pantry doesn't get done and then I get in trouble and it's really traumatized me for the rest of my life. And he's like, well I'll have to do with the crew mess, but I don't want to overstep my boundaries. I appreciate that you can't do. They heard. And now finally, Storm pulls Jason aside.

And he's like, he's like, Jason, I want you to feel like you're part of the team. Dude, he said, dude, a lot here. He's like, dude, I mean, he said, dude, a lot. So it feels like we're bros and what, what, what, I mean, that's from a good place. And he's like, I hope you take this well. And I want to have a quick chat with you, dude, so we can be on the same page, dude. And I feel like there's a lot of tension between you and I, dude, dude, and the crew.

And I want to know where your dude head is, dude. And I have some things I'd like to say, dude, but I want to hear them from your side first, dude, dude. Jason's like, well, like I tried not to step on toes and just like grind it out, you know what I mean? Cause like, it's the only person with a purple toenail, like it's hard for me. So I mean bullying, I'm just going to say that. So well, I feel like dude, you get into this mood and we can all feel it.

And then you become snappy and all becomes very difficult to work with when you like that and you're telling the wrong knots, despite me saying what the right knot is. And what I want is to challenge you to be proactive about not being an asshole. So I need you to show me and Sandia and then the team that you want to be here and that you want to be an asshole about it, dude. Well, that's like baffling to me because like I feel like I'm carrying more load than Kyle on a Saturday night. So, sounds like we're honestly dude, I feel like it's kind of the other way around bro dude. He's like listen, Jason goes like I don't want to leave

anyone higher dry but like replace me because Tom's like I just want to know if like if you want to be a part of the team is like replace me. No, but I'm just saying if I just need to assign that you want to be part of the team replace me. Yeah, if I just need to assign that you want to be part of the team, replace me. Get rid of me. But do you want to be part of the team? I literally just pretend I never was here in the first place. So do you want to be part of the team?

Well, if it's like, I don't want to be here, if that's how it's going to be, okay. I mean, what is the market down or something? What's wrong with you? I've got too many numbers to crunch. Finance, bro. He's like, you want me to change my personality. He's like no, no, no, no, no, I just need a concrete sign that shows that you want to be here. Replace me. That's your sign. I'm not trying to make you a victim here. And he goes, well, that's already been done. So way ahead of you on that one, unfortunately for you.

And that's how it ends. Poor Jason. Poor Jason. Oh my God. So much would be solved by just smiling and being nice and being like, oh, that's not how I meant it, but he's just not that kind of personality. You know, I think he's just a surly guy. He's just entitled. He's just entitled. He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of...

He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of...

He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... He's just some sort of... basically was doing all the work for Reagan before the other two guys got there. And then those guys get there,

and he's feeling like, I did all this work, and then those guys get there, and they get all the attention. And then Courtney comes in, and then they're just like a group, and he probably just has some resentment about like how he feels like he did everything for like two days and he was like not recognized for it or something.

I don't know. I don't even care. I don't know. You know what? I don't even care. I don't care to know what his motivations are. Well, I know he's a douche. He says it. He's like working commodities. He's a douche.

I don't need to know how that clock ticks. I gotta, I've found a terrible job. Okay. Did you get a watch? Did you get a watch? Is that how you figure it out? Oh, a watch. A watch.

See, a watch. A series how you figure it out? A watch for a watch. See you next time. A watch for a watch. See you next time. See you next time. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being here today. It's an onslaught of recaps this week from now on. So just keep checking back. Go join Patreon if you like video recaps and bonus episodes.

This week our bonus is going to be a video of one of our real housewives recaps for available for everybody. And what else is I gonna say? The other thing is winter is crappin' and Game of Thrones has to the dragon. Yeah! You subscribe to winter is crappin' and we sure love you guys. Thanks for being here. Bye. Bye!

Watch what crappin' would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King! Ashley Shabone, she don't take nobelone! Dana C, Dana Dew! She's not just a Shia-la, she's a Daniella! Itch-les! Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-les! Avanna Gila Weber!

Jamie, she has no less name-y! Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! Jess saying, okay! She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Christian the Piston Anderson. Let's give a Kisarino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.

And our super premium sponsors. Always the Wiser, it's Allison Weisler. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Better do what she says is Elva Enrique's. Can't have a meal without the Emily signs. Nobody holds a candle, a Jamie Kendall.

Hail the cork master, the Master of the Quark, it's Jennifer Quarkerin. We will, we will, Joanna Rocklandu, my favorite Murto, Karen McMurto. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang, the incredible edible Matthew sisters, Nancy Cicenticisto.

Give them hell, Miss Noel. Choose the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke! Shannon, out of a cannon Anthony! Let's take off with Tamela Plane! She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music Download the Amazon Music app today!

Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.