Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Demons and Damons

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

Below Deck Med deals with anchor issues, a drunk dude from the yacht next door, and a slugger's slugs. This is not Disneyland, it's San Tropez! To hear this week's premium bonus about Andy's Watch What Happens Live Titus problem, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Season One Camille" "Demoted to Friend Of" and "Resting Honnay Face!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! Free shipping on orders of $45 or more! **Crappens Live is coming to Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale, Atlanta and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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mm-hmm, talking about below dick Mediterranean. Or on a great show. Great show. Oh, show. I am triggered and I am angry and I have so many thoughts and I cannot wait to rant and rave all over this episode. Yeah, so everybody, here's the quick plugs. Go over to watchitcrapins.com.

You can find our Patreon links that's where you'll get our bonus episodes, our video episodes, and Discord, which is a chat server. All sorts of fun stuff over there. This week's bonus is a tribute to House Hunters, the Destin Florida edition, which is super fun. And you can also find Link Store Store, which you can find our shirts. There's always changing right now we've got resting Hanae face in honor of this show below deck med, demoted to friend of and season one came out. There's free shipping until August 11 on orders of forty five dollars or more. And that's not all. Watch what crap ends is touring all over the place. We're going all over the country and here are the lists for the rest of the year. Listen for your city. Here I go.

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and giving us support. Love you guys, Kay. Yeah, we do. I have to say, these shows, I still, I guess it's still surreal that we get to do it. So yeah, thank you for those who actually come and I don't know. I'm still angry about below deck. I'm like, I can't finish my sentence. I'm still angry about Blow Deck.

I'm like, I can't finish my sentence. I'm still, I'm worked up right now. I'm worked up, you know what? Because like, I'm over Johnny Damon and his friends. That's what I gotta say. I'm over them both. Oh my God. Those people are the worst.

And they're terrible. We owe everybody a huge apology. I cannot believe we missed this last week. But Anders, their dip shit douchebag friend, is wearing a t-shirt with a big dick. It looks like his wiener is coming out of his pants, like on the lenga against his stomach. And they blurt it out.

And whenever I see anything blurred out, I just assume it's a brand name or something. I don't know what the hell I thought it was. It did, it was his brand dick. What a prick. Literally, he is wearing a label this week. He like represents like the worst of this country, I think. He is just awful. Everything. He's just like not in the country, mankind, mankind.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't get in the country fight because we're about to get into it on this show. I'm not getting into a country fight just yet, but I will say he is a terrible person. I'm sorry. He is the one who gets eaten by the giant shark in every disaster movie, okay? Like he's the type. Yes, like that war movie villain

where they just make you hate them so you don't feel bad when they get murdered five minutes later. That's you, Anders. He's basically like Dennis in Jurassic Park, who runs off like it during the storm and then gets eaten by the stupid Dinosaur and tries to be nice to the dinosaur, you know, like I'm on the dinosaur side sometimes, okay? Especially when it comes to this guy. Yeah, wasn't that guy the mailman in Yeah, Simon. Yeah, so there you go. He was new. You're new man there. Congratulations, man. Yeah, congratulations

So this week we start off with anchor Drama because as you remember from last week, they hit a snag and the anchor wouldn't come up and it's so pressing that we don't even get our open-and-credits. We didn't get to listen to the seminal theme song. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Here's what I think we should do. We should tie the line onto the url chain, lift our chain up, drop the url chain, gobble some cocks, juggle some cocks, and then chain the woman for being sexually active. We need to raise our anchor, jerk off in front of a jellyfish, flip with a skeleton, bring us to our fish to his in-bobbly, and then call a moloss, a thunder cut. Like everyone actually said it, I got caught up,'m sorry everyone cut fitness cut fitness sound easy, right?

We wasn't laughing at that thing I was in love with that ain't got And then it left me all alone like this just crying just a single man who works out a little like this just crying just a single man who works out crying on a yacht he commented on one of jack's posts on instagram which is all this mystery around jack two by the way because he's got that he keeps calling some lady on his instagram his wife but then I think he means it like these me wifey which doesn't mean they're actually mere I don't know but then all the pictures disappeared from his Instagram and Facebook is going crazy over it. Wow, a thoroughly polite scandal. But also for everybody who's like, oh my God,

it's throughout 2.0. Do our comment it on one of Jack's posts where he's shirtless and just like, live in the good life, hey mate? He commented, maybe you should work out, you pussy boy. I was like, ugh uh... you still do out charming charming as ever

so uh... cocks you took a uh... so yes the anchor's been stuck for fifty four minutes captain sand is losing her shit because she does not wanna leave anchor so uh... meanwhile johnny daemon and his and his peeps are on the sugar over in Monaco walking around and

Colin Colin has just taken them there on the tender so he's like Captain Sandy Captain Sandy it's Colin. I'm having back right now. Oh my Colin I'm not worried. I'll be there any second captain Sandy any second now I don't worry. I'll be there any second captain's Andy. Any second now That was very nice of you to tell captain Sandy there and I appreciate and sure she appreciate the gesture callie You didn't sign off properly callie. How do we sign off? I love you mom Collie if you're heading back home and have a lasagna ready for you, just say in. Just saying.

You know, Collie's mom says just saying too. And now, if you can't home on time, you dinner would have been one. Just saying. Don't tell Leigh and Tibi, she doesn't process gluten well anymore and can't have a lasagna. So I just wrote, you know how they have these little random lines from the guests as they're walking around. What about them? Is that a banana in your pocket?

You just had me to see me. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I nailed it. So Sandy is describing the situation because of this other anchor. And she's like, if this doesn't work and the crew can't get rid of the other anchor, which was left by someone else, by someone else,

I'm like, yeah, it's okay, Sandy, we know you do not just like go and leave an anchor and the bomb the med the other night, okay? Well, I have no choice but to drop my anchor and I won't have a charter season. I do not wanna leave my anchor. So then we cut to Tyler. I got about my brown, about Murphy Brown. I do not want to leave Murphy Brown. My anchor. I think you've anchor joke, Ronnie. Oh, oh, think about it. Sorry. So Tyler's like, all right,

we he's here. We can do it. If you'd like an anchor at what we live. So then we do in another anchor. And then that anchor goes over do it. If you'd like Nankar at what we left, so then we do in another anchor And then that I think it goes over that anchor did you juggle that anchor with some cocks and So I was just staring at him coming up with this plan and then we cut back to the guest in Monaco and John's like, I'm just shopping for you. Land his shop. Oh, we're there shopping Yeah, a nation junior walking around and she's like Yeah, a nation junior walking around and she's like So

You have to be the richest of the rich to live here Yeah, I mean while Anna stage was still stewing in the in the in the galley Because she did not make a perfect dinner and she had issues with the temperature And she's like you know, I can't control if the food arrives hot from the galley and doesn't make it to the table hot Okay, so I'm not gonna let Johnny Damon and his friends say I shit cook because I did a perfect mother Her mother's at home like So back to the anchor So back to the anchor. Uh, two alcos. Let's lift and then drop and Tyler goes,

do you have a idea? I know. The anchor dropped. It was just a lot of just like stare. Like people looking over the edge of the boat. Do you like does that work? No, that work. No.

I always get nervous every time that sometimes when they look over the edge, they fully like put half their body. They like straddle that thing. And I like someone's gonna fall off someday and I will not be happy when that happens, okay? Yeah, so then we cut back to Asia and June who were in a bakery getting Take away And then we get another mystery shot of June eating sweets. I know, she hasn't eaten in five days. She's like, oh my God, thank you for reminding me I can eat. She's like, hey, could you two me favor her?

Say, it's time to eat. It's time to eat. Thank God. Thank God someone told me when to eat. You know, I had a really hard time around the year 2000 when everyone kept saying, it's being a butter jelly time. And I was like, why is it always time to eat?

I really feel comfortable with like the guys at least because like all in sweet, you know he gets rashes from uniforms. I just wish I could be cool with Hannah and I'm trying and she just looks at me like I'm an idiot. It's like June, you're talking into the soda cooler right now. Oh sorry, I thought that was Asia. Hmm, hmm, hmm. It's like June you're talking into the soda cooler right now. Oh, sorry, I thought that was Asia And we got to Hannah who's having to clean since she sent everybody off the boat. She's like

Planing the cabin flock of dead still Two little song. Yeah, so then the anchor comes off and Sandy's like, guys, this was a situation where everyone could have died. All at once. But you did it. Amazing. We did it. I'd like to order a round of hugs. Please, very tender.

You know what this calls for in ice cream cone. And by instead of ice cream, we're going to put a hug in a cone. And the cone is my arms, alright? So Sandy is like, hey Hannah, Hannah, our anchor's in the packet, the chain is up and we're going to Monaco! Oh Hannah's like, right, I'm cleaning the bathroom. So there's my news, thanks a lot, idiot.

So then Asian, June, they have a nice moment where they talk about how, like, how June's father died. And, you know, they were sort of bonding about that because they should lots of brother. And then the yacht is sort of chugging along over to Monaco. And Travis is just sitting on the side and like, I'm toyed. I'm toyed. You can only jiggle in a ring so many times without jick before you just start to get fatigued. You know what I'm tired, I'm tired, you can only jerk off in a room so many times without jack before you just start to get fatigued. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, don't worry, honey. Sometimes you need to complain a bit. I do it all the time. Have you ever dated someone who wouldn't spot you $50 to buy some cigars? Have they ever had that happen?

Have you ever met out with someone who looks 15 but then they say they're almost 30 and then they give you cigarettes And then it turns out that they've been keeping track of all the cigarettes that they've been giving you Ho-no-no! Hey, Ho-no! Have you ever decided it'd be nice to go to Prague someday and then your boyfriend says sure And I'll fly you from Prague to Sydney afterwards and then he doesn't do it after all. But had that happen? Ho-no-no! One word to it to know well so then Go call and call and had to take the tender or whatever and

Captain gets her after him she goes, ah colon be this Yeah, did hey colon. Did you have a nice boat ride colon? All right, well you me, so you're fired. All right. It's fun knowing you, Colin. Hold on to the edge of the sinker and Colin's dead. Got him. Got him at last.

So June and June and Asian just lying and grass right in the middle of the city. It's just like sort of weird. It's like like lying down on like a traffic island or something. So there's lying down and oh no. God, we have some anti-banana weather coming in. That's for sure. I do not love this. God, I don't love that wind.

Look at this wind. Telling you, it's not hugging you. It's slapping you right in the face I looked at this two hours ago, and now it says it's gonna be wind at midnight gosh weather oh shaking my face get off my lawn weather Yeah, so terrible weather is coming in so they they're gonna have to go from Monaco over to Santa Fe because that's like the only place where there's a slip go from Monaco over to Santrope because that's like the only place where there's a slip for them. So that means they've got to call the guest because you can take three hours to get over there. It's a whole thing. So it's a whole bunch of

urgency. So Aisha goes over to Johnny Damon and his people and she's like there's a hectic weirdo system coming in just so hectic, hectic weather. Woo! And Johnny's like, can you control the weather please? Ah! That was a, that was a, that was a, you got a banana in your pocket, he is. We heard it, Johnny, we heard it. Yeah, yeah, and it's like coming up and we just see the guests all fighting. I'm like, great. This would be fun. I wrote in my notes for some reason. The only slip available is in sand Pedro

They had to go all the way to the southern tip of Los Angeles Well, I know we like being in the mad but time to cross the Atlantic and go through the Panama Canal guys I know sound trope is sounded great, but look outlet miles Central base sounded great, but I think we can all agree that proximity to Long Beach is really undeniable. The Calut Long Beach? Because it's long. So the guest return and the boats arriving to their boat and call them and say, come on, let's see that arm, Johnny.

Remember that when you helped me with the arm thing. That was fun, Johnny. We're cool. We're cool, bro. Hey, don't forget to get a autograph. It could be the huge film. So the captain's like, all right, guys, we feel real bad. But this weather, the Racken and the Rolling, not the good way. I know I just described the fun time

This is like Racken and Roland if you were Kevin Bacon's parents in that movie where no one could dance Listen all the brands you know and to see have moved on out. I think that's our saying. So let's uh Let's everyone go. We got three hours until docking if we miss that then we're gonna be We're just gonna be like a banana out in the water and ever coming back to the guy okay, we don't like that so Tyler and Tyler are getting the tender back on the boat and they just so jack and bad Yeah, so so shady it might have been this break time, but Jack look at Jack still in bed Yeah, they'll do it to anyone every season. I mean, I'm surprised Hannah hasn't gone yet because she got a real bad last season.

Anytime there was something going on, someone would be like, hey, do you happen to have like some Splenda, they're just like cut to Hannah like in bed in black and white, like on her phone. Like, oh, look at her. You're not getting Splenda for someone. They love to get Hannah smoking. Yeah.

So then, so they're heading out and the asshole guy Anders is Like Hannah serving him beer and he's like get a beer can open and we'll show you how to do it How we do it in the United States of America. Yeah She goes the United States of miracle. Yeah, I Understand he was being a he was being a little jockey being a little jokie, but at the same time It's like I think opening beer is pretty universal Yeah, you do I'm gonna be mad at everything I'm gonna do everything so June and Anna Stager in the kitchen and June's like

Which making she is well, I'm making a perfect Capricacy solid then I'm doing an eggplant and making a perfect, compressy solid. Then I'm doing an eggplant per faction, rather than an amazing, great perfect. And then I'm gonna do an avocado. And she goes, what do you mean? You forgot dessert? No, an avocado.

She goes, you forgot it? It's like, avocado. My goodness, it's not gonna work. Just drop it. June, June, Hannah. June, June, Hannah. It's an Italian dessert, so shut the fuck up and clean the floors. So then at a stage, it's like, um, if I can cook crossing the North Sea with a six meter swell,

literally clips into the galley, I think I can handle a little swell on a merriot. I'm just saying, I forgot it. And then she sings her own song. She's like, I love Pesto. Oh. Sorry, but below deck musicals are reserved for below deck original flavor. Season three coming up. Season three of a crap and musical coming up.

And now, we'll see for you on the third edition of below deck music. Music for musical. So Hannah is like June Hannah June Hannah um we'll do this or listen here's what I want you to do make the beds clean the bathrooms full the tiles put the glasses on the other glasses think it the major glasses the hurricane glasses all the tiny one glasses and then shot glass shot glass glass and tunes like oh you see you forgot something? No, it's an offer. Gatsy, I'm not talking about that. Do you guys do you know what I'm saying? Do you know what's

glasses I'm talking about? You know, they shaped like this. And she does a hand motion. Is it become the straights of a certain hand? I was like trying to like shape a wine glass. A very simple wine glass. You know, it has a stem. It's round round on the bottom, played on top, standing place, you know, slight like a smile, but you won't say one for me, so I'm gonna make it for my fingers. Got that, got that.

June's talking into her radio, like, I got it, copy. I'm writing funny, June, God damn it, on I. Oh, sorry, I don't know what my radio doesn't work sometimes. No, no, we were talking face to face. So Jack and Aisha are downstairs, they're like playing cards and like flirting. He's saying something about her shoe that's

like really pretty and it's just started to like make up. Oh, because there's shoes on, there's shoes on the booth above them and he's like, look, there's the shoes and she's like, no! There's that machine! It's like, if we hooked up and he came to my room completely naked, but these were on the end. I'd be so happy, I'd be so busy, I'd get the end up, I'd just flop holes. I'd knock on the mustard, hmm? I don't know what you're talking about, but you're really adorable, so let's make out.

Yeah, also, what game are you guys playing? I just can only imagine what card game was Then we cut to the hot tub where Johnny is sitting on the edge and they're like Johnny Why don't you get you get in? And he's like, as soon as my balls cool off, I'm coming back. So they're just mentioned that Hannah walked in on them. Yeah, they're making out. And Hannah's like, um, they need to be wise. They're still in the professional environment. All right.

You didn't go into the office and see people randomly making out in the corridors. Right. Do it in your keeping. Yeah. So then Jouah waso is like oh there's something jumping in the water is it Brooke my long lost love who dumped me the virtuous Juao oh no it's a whale everyone it's a whale Juao is like oh look everybody after window there's every woman who has

turned me away and rejected me oh whale So everyone starts whale watching and the captain's like, good once you wow, you're just winning me over today. Yeah. So then Anders goes up to, he's like hanging around Captain Sandy while she's just trying to like get to the port and he's basically, she's saying that they need to get there really quickly because they need to get into the slip and he's like, you really don't have to do that. I mean, the rest of us don't care.

And she's like, well, we do and you will. And it's like, yeah, because Assal, you're going to be the first one who's going to be complaining that the boat's rocking too much. So stop it. Captain Sandy do her job. Yes, I really don't want to be up on that driving the random circles. Kate, that would be great. Yeah.

I'd be much happier if I could just get you into port. So you guys could have a fight with the guy next door and you can see it in the corner and act like a pussy and then yell real loud as if you did anything when there's a fight. Yeah, sounds like it sounds like a play-in. So then we continue getting more do you spragory? They're getting ready for dinner and Anders goes, when it seemed like cock ring? That's like the worst cock ring in the history of cock rings. It's just probably like a weird, like, scrunchy, you know, with like, a scrunchy, like hairs on it.

Yeah. So then they're talking in San Trofe here. We come, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't talking drama. This is like a kin to me going to my dentist Drocking a Sanctuary, here we come. Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant and docking drama, I'm like, whatever, because then they park, you know, and everything's fine. But this was scary, okay? It was really, really narrow. And everyone knew it was narrow because everyone in San Trope like gathered on the dock to watch

and people were taking pictures. They're like, oh my God, this is gonna go viral. When this, yeah, it's another yacht and it sinks. Oh my God. Yeah. And the people on the neighboring yachts who are looking like, don't hit my fucking boat lady. And it is, I mean, they are tight. is I mean they are tight and I was I'm

I was actually very impressed that they got it in there because it was like you see as the boats coming in you see like people from the next boat are like You could just reach out and touch people like it's so close like 18 t. Okay reach out and touch someone So it's like I feel fantastic that was my first time. This is amazing. It's almost like the book up with me. Never mind. Screw that crap Robler. And then like one of the guests is like, my butt was puckered up and I didn't even have the controls. Like, you know what, we don't really care about what your butt was doing at any any moment of time on this starter. Thank you. Any moment of time on this starter. Thank you. I know I love that they have so much material on these guests That they can just throw like every time they throw an align. It's just nah. It's just great Because they're all garbage So this is where the captions like oh guess what I'm getting my screen. Okay, gonna go get one Get in ice cream

You have any brands you know ice cream. No, okay I'll come back to ya. So then at dinner, the Caprese salad is being put together. And Hannah's like, this Caprese looks pretty, but pretty food does not fill up an American baseball player. All right, I don't wanna push her out of a comfort zone because then she'll suck up, she'll fuck a food up and I don't want that on my watch, on my watch.

On my, on my watch. And then they serve it and they're like, this is a deconstructed caprese. I'm like, isn't aren't caprese salad already pretty much deconstructed? They come in pieces, so. Yeah, like I don't know, like what, you just get to like move the tomatoes to the left

and then she's at the right, like I don't understand how that works. I am buying you some deconstructed LEGOs for your birthday. Yeah, and then one of the guests is like, oh, I don't want a deconstructed Legos for your birthday. Yeah, and then one of the guests is like, oh, I don't wanna deconstruct it, McDeal T. Great. I was like, well, I'm definitely only Anderson watch what crap is,

can work McDeal T's into a big conversation. Yeah, that's what I was mad. I was like, McDeal T's are sort of everything. I was not mad at the ref, I was not mad that he was annoyed that they called deconstructed. I was mad that he like brought a McDeal T into it. I'm like, that's reserved for us to pull out when we want to

Not for you. Yeah, really old 80s McDonald's many wide-ends that didn't work, okay? Yeah, that's that's our job, sir Yeah, yeah, and I'm telling you if he touches the arched deluxe, I am like done done So Anna stage is like um, I'm serving Edplant Rollitini because I'm serving something with I'm comfortable with because that shrinks the room for error because I hate error. Perfect! Yeah, and then Jack is helping bring plates to the table and Anna's stage is like, do not tip the plate. Okay, it has been perfectly plated. If you tip it, it's your fault. Okay, not mine perfect perfect perfect So Johnny gets his knees like is this eggplant? Oh boy Now it's like I said I like eggplant emojis not Yeah, Anders was just putting eggplant emojis after everything on the preference sheet. Okay. Yeah, that doesn't mean I actually like it I thought you knew that I

Just be very around the food. Yeah, it doesn't mean I actually like it. I thought you knew that I was just be very around by all the food. Yeah, and so she's like, you didn't lock it, you might, huh, I, and he's like, I'll let you know afterwards. And the wife's like, oh, God, look at it, feel, feeling guilty for saying the food shitty. It's like, God, you are really,

you are the worst. You really are like a pirate went from the pirates of the curve. Like, you're the worst. She's like, because he found her like working at some Sally Beauty and then like, you know, like, they got married and you've had the Sally Beauty inside of you for a while now. And I love that your Sally Beauty rage is still going. She is acting like she is like, I mean, look, the Queen of Versailles was way nicer and

she has a lot more money. Okay. Well, as not even about the money, it's just that this woman is acting and she has a lot more money. Well, as not even about the money, it's just that this woman is acting like she has, come from three generations of, has gone to Andover and elite lineage. I'm like, no, you were found in a Sally Beauty and now you're acting like you were like,

you're the queen of this yacht, I'm not gonna have it. I'm mad, I'm just like mad and this I'm mad at the world Really and by the way Johnny did like the food. He's just like a small portion. Yeah, Johnny was actually okay Like he is actually he's he was more pleasant than I was expecting Yeah, I mean this is probably his worst episode and he was still fine, you know It's fine. It's just friends, which is like the typical like hangers on, you know, of like a famous person. Yeah. But he's getting bittier along with his friends too. Yeah. They're rubbing off on him. They are. They are. Yeah.

Uh, so Anna's stage is like, well, I'm really proud of all my dishes today. So guess what? This leads to a June, June Hannah. June, June, June, June, June, June, June, June, June, June Hannah June Hannah June Hannah and a June June Hannah She even went June June June Hannah. I was like, oh, yes Three months Yeah, wow, I was like I didn't know what to do with my dance. I was like, well, I'm off. There's like an extra meat in there Well, I think that she should check her kidek said It's like when is she gonna turn on a cool Jim Jim Brody, a girl, Jim, it, huh? So she goes to her, she's like, honey, what's going on? What's going on with you?

She's like, oh no, I just said, are you calling? And I was like, well, let's test your radio. And she goes, oh, maybe I just can't understand my own name if you say June. And I was like, I can't make enough of a honey phase for that sort of response. Jim's like, I just wish Honey would understand I'm a nice girl. I can feel her eye roll like answer your radio. Okay. That's like a nice about a lot of things.

Yeah, not you not answering your radio. It's not one of them. The nicest thing you could have ever said to Hannah is that you feel her eye roll. She's like, oh, good. It still works. It's the nicest thing anyone said to me today. Oh, it was. Oh, good. You felt my wife rolling her back in, yeah.

I did. So then June goes to Colin to complain all these eating. She's like, I'm bitched. Oh, but I don't hear her. I really don't hear. And he's like, check, check, check, check. And then Hannah goes, Hannah hears them. She's like, copy, copy, copy, copy. Yeah, and then they go Hannah here is like copy copy copy copy

copy yeah and then they all start like making like a remix they're pretty much doing below deck the musical force and they're like copy copy copy copy copy copy June June Hannah and Anna Stasia because this is all going over the all their videos and Stasia's like I'm going to murder all of you now and guess what I will never get caught because guess what it's's gonna be the perfect crime, murdering you perfectly, and disposing your bodies. Next to the anchor on the ocean floor. It's time for commercial.

It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

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So, Anastasia is making ice cream. She's plating all this ice cream and she's like, I'll be up there in just a second to get my praise. And the capping comes in and she's uh, the captain checks in with the table. She's like, so how was your dinner? And Andrew's just like, not as good as how you doff, baby. And a stage of so mad because she was like about to receive her big all the holidays. And she's like, Sandy stole my thunder.

Oh, by the way, also the guests were like looking, there was some, you know, since they're right there in this like very busy stretch of Santa Trope, they were like some street performers performing and they're like dancing. And they're like, whoa, it's like synchronized swimming on land. I'm like, yeah, it's called dance. Oh my God. You wanna get my dick?

I've got a synchronized dick with this cock ring. Yeah. I've got some synchronized swimmin's right here in my dick. But meanwhile, I mean, we're making fun of this guy for being a boar, and then we cut to Jack and Asha, and they're like rubbing glasses on their privates. Yeah, they're drying the glasses on their dicks while his dick. And herbie. So the guests are complaining

that their ice cream is turned into soup and that's not good. So they're shooting her outside. Oh sorry. I was gonna say that would know I'm just gonna say it's funny because they're complaining that the food is cold when it gets to them and now basically the ice cream is too warm. It's like I'm just mad. I'm mad. I took an instant sandy nap and I felt better. So Dwayne and Juner outside, June's like pounding in a corner sitting down and he's like you're not happy, you're not happy Miss Miss, are you not happy? Would you like me to do a trick for you? I can tie my penis into a monster shape. What do you think of that? She's like, um, Hannah's just, uh, she's just like really hard on me and like, it's just like hard to have someone hard on you when you're just trying to figure out like when you can have a yogurt, you know?

Yeah, yes, I understand people hard on. Yes, I understand people hard on. Well, everyone's putting their hard on you, shall I? Yeah, so she was basically like, oh, I probably said too much, because like, don't tell her. I'm drawing an invisible curtain around me and this conversation is done. And he's like, what? An invisible curtain.

I don't see it. It's like, yes, that's good. He keeps putting his head around it. He's like, can you see me now? Ha, ha, ha, ha! Well me now? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha out. He's so crazy. He is crazy, but I did like his mind work. So then, so the yacht that's next door, the owner of it is a guy named Conrad, no relation to Conrad of last season, and Hannah's actually worked for him before, and he is basically like an old prick, and she's like, I didn't want to see him in his book in firm. You know, I certainly didn't want to see him now. He had a four-year-old child,

and when I said, take your shoes off on the yacht, that little cricks said, these aren't shoes, they are togs. And I had just given the biggest honey face I could, and it just bounced off of him and hit me right in the face of an angry ever since. Whatever you honey face, banters off little honey face, and hit the honey face in the honey face.

I'm rubber, you ugly, any honey face you've been saying to me, bounces off me and hits you. Well, it didn't work this time. I'm like this little fucking prick I don't have a honey face, but what am I? So they do bring this old drunk on to the boat. Yeah, cuz he's like I want to come on boat. I want to come on boat Yeah, so bring him on and he's like where are you from America? You know the trouble with America. We love America, but you're pulling out. We love you And you're pulling out how are you pulling out? What the fuck you're doing?

You're like sort of like that Like he's speaking in the way that you can only speak if you have a huge amount of money and you're from Norway You know, it's just this very direct but but like abrasive approach and Anders is like, fly on your own, fly on your own, take care of your own problems, you're up. Oh my God, this awful person. It's not America's responsibility to carry you on our backs, fly on your own, Bernie.

Meanwhile, this guy is receiving a free yacht trip from Johnny Damon. Yeah. So, so the Joanne, Hannah already knows like, oh god, there's gonna be a problem. So she wakes up as a wow. And a Joanne comes out to inspect, but he's only, he's put on his red bow,

though, but he still has pajamas. And they're like, oh, how cute, you're in your pajamas. He's like, oh no, I don't know. I have lost my profession, I lose him. And Collins out there first, he's like, sir, we're closing up, sir, sir, this mask and robins was closed. He's like, sir, close it up, sir. Sir, this Vaskin Robbins was close. This, we're closing at the pass.

No, you know, there is no more soft serve available. You have to leave right now. Do not make me call my manager. Collie, do you want me to get your father? I can get your father right now. And he's gonna call the police, okay? Collie, we turned down the port's lights. Just wait it out, Collie. right now and here's the call to police, okay? Colley, we turned out the port's lights.

Just waited out, Colley. One time someone left a bicycle on Antibi's lawn and we found out who did it. And let me tell you something, they really regretted it. Ha, ha, ha. So, the guy is still ranting and raping. He's like, we're relying on America. We are relying on you.

Come on. Yeah. And so then he's all the sudden calm again. he's like, we're relying on America, we're relying on you, come on. Yeah. And so then he's all the sudden calm again. He's like, yeah. Well, he wasn't like, it's really, he wasn't like, he was ranting. He was, I think he was just like drunk and trying to be like, provocative, you know?

And I'm not trying to be an apologist for this guy, but I think that like, he was just like, he's like, come on, you know, you got to be fucking America. You know, I'm for this guy, but I think that like he was just like he's like, come on. You know, you got to be fucking America You know, I'm rich man from Norway. So then so Yeah, so then he's coming is like you'll come on to my yacht. You know, you're closing down come on to my yacht and we'll have drink on my yacht, you know And Andrews is like yeah, is that a super yacht or Is it a boat? Yeah. Is that like a cheat? Yeah. And Andrews at this point, by the way,

is now standing in the corner by like, Shuao and Colin. He's like sort of like in a safe distance from where anything could happen. But he's like a close enough that he could still say things as if he's in the fray. So at this point, Michelle, Johnny Damon's wife, she's drunk. And she's like, listen, I'm the

person in charge and charge and I say no because she's talking about going over get drinks. And he goes, and you are a lady, so I will not argue with you. She goes, actually, I'm not a lady and he is not going anywhere. And he goes, he called you, you come to vote. And she's like, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. And puts her hands up and in her face. And then she puts his finger right in his face. I mean, this woman is such fucking hot garbage.

My god. Yeah, because she also knows, first of all, she's being ridiculous. And I mean, I'm not saying this guy, there's no region dude with a trash. I know it's trash versus trash. Exactly, she's like being ridiculous. And I mean, I'm not saying this guy, there's no region dude with trash versus trash. So I'm just talking for sure. Exactly, that's for sure.

It's a full trash fight. But she was definitely doing that thing that was like, my husband's Johnny fucking Damon. And he's gonna, like, I know I can be like this because I know if you try to come for me, Johnny Damon's gonna just punch you in the face, right? So she's fully taking it because we all know those people, those friends who are just like,

like, they are going to be the ones that drag you and it doesn't happen to me because I'm not a fighter. I'm a lover. But, you know, like, there's always that person who's like going to start the fight because they know they can because they're with a bigger friend who's going to defend them, right? So he's doing it, she's doing it here. And he, like, she puts her finger right in front of his face, which is really obnoxious. But he's dumb, because then he grabs her hand, I think, to put it away. And then that's when Jowao just jumps in to try to... Yeah, he hugs him from behind. He's like,

I'm a Sasuke to live. I'm a Sasuke to live. I'm going to ask you very nicely to leave. I'm like, asking him very nicely. You have him in a bare hug. And you're carrying him out to the dock as if he's an old rug. The guy wasn't even, the guy wasn't even like, and by the way, the guy was totally, he wasn't resisting, he wasn't protesting.

He was just like, what is happening? I'm Norwegian and Rich. What is going on? And Anders is just screaming like you don't get fucking done i'm like you know what of all the people that jumped up it was not you anders yeah yeah anders you big man and so he goes anders goes i will think you're fucking about tomorrow what a piece of shit he is he's also just like what i described the type that's gonna get you all the yelling and then like hide behind other people Yeah, and then Conrad is now on the dock and he's like you want to come for a drink?

Cuz there was some people I think that wanted to go on the drink and Michelle's like you want me to come off this Beep this boat right now because I will a fucking rule this boat the way I rule fucking Sally Beauty. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no fucking touch me and how to go please people need to understand this isn't Disneyland It's same true play and we don't act like they I Would say I love that the Hannah things that people lack like that in Disneyland But there was that video last month the people acting like this in Disneyland. I was like, oh my god, this is why people around the world are always like, oh, Americans. Yeah, and Collins, like, trunk billionaires having fist fights. High-pins laying out for a lair.

Conley, if you want to come home, there's no shame in it your father will start the oven will get a lasagna going right away So the next morning I had to add to our hugging which is just so gross. I hate this friendship Channestatious chopping mushrooms and June and Colin are talking and she's like oh my god the orange orange juice maker hurt me He's like corn juice does that to people. Ugh. God, whenever I'm talking to a beautiful woman and get nervous, but around June, yeah, I'm nervous.

But more nervous, more nervous. She fought with an orange juice machine. Oh, that's my girl. Well, I also got a little nervous when I'm at a salad bar. I have to admit, that's scary scary a lot of things to choose from So then breakfast time and the captain is now looking at the wind again on the maps How can wind? I know all right I need all my deck hands on deck because we got to leave this thin slip and we got to go back over to

because we gotta leave this thin slip and we gotta go back over to Antibes. Okay, because that's gonna be where the slips and ports and windows and closings and such. So we gotta go all deck hands on deck. Yeah, deck hands on deck. So Jouah was like, this is a charter from hell. Refighting weather, refighting guests, but juggling cops. I'm fighting an erection that I have every time I see a cauliflower. Refighting weather with fighting guests But juggling cops I'm fighting an erection that I have every time I see a cauliflower. I don't know why that is but it reminds me of zim

I guess I'm so as they pull out of port the wife sees conrad and she's like My neighbor god, he's a wimp. Oh my god. You're still carrying this over. You stupid person So now we have a little variation on a common theme. June, June, Aisha. June, June, Aisha. Mm-hmm. Jun, Jun, Aisha. Jun, Jun, Aisha.

Jun, Jun, Aisha. Like all the seals just jump up on the Santa Fe beach. So they go out to finish the table. And Hannah and Anastasia, Hannah's telling the guests that they're, sorry, Hannah's telling Anastasia that Hannah's telling the guests that they're, sorry, Hannah's telling Anastasia that the guests are just gonna have one meal before dinner. And Anastasia's like, um, that's weird, but okay, loving this bitchy Anastasia. I know. So now they're like, they're just like flying across the sea to get to on

Teab and like the water's super choppy it's like splashing everywhere and like Hannah's falling over and all this craziness. I think you just sort of see Jack just standing around like, yeah, I'm not just about to stand in the room right now. He's standing on the hot tub like staring into the camera. Like, hello. Look at you following me a little bit, huh? Like, maybe you should like lock something down. I don't know. And Tyler's walking around so pissed off. He's like, stupid fucking shit.

Like he's getting so frustrated. Oh, so the Anders, of course, is going, woo, ride the pony. What the fuck, a guy? So they're talking back in victim doc, Port Camille. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent.

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The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. The most incoherent. Oh my God, they're alive. Yeah. I didn't realize they're alive. I don't want to kill them.

Yeah, so she's like all sad because she's a vegan. And so she calls in to Jawao to kill the lobsters. And you know, she's like, you have to put the knife in the head and put it back. And you just see Jawao and you're just here, and it's like, and Anastasia's like cowering. And Jawao, he just goes, you know, in Zimbabwe, we primitive, we kill our food, we eat our food,

we make sexual overtures at our food. It's actually harass our food. And then we make it. We respect where it's coming from by dripping off on it. Like Jowao, I think you're talking about that porn avatar clip you were watching on porn, okay? Might you just kill the damn mobsters already okay yeah so uh... anesthesia serves up for the first course something looks actually very lovely

it's uh... it's see urchin uni uh... it's on a bed of cucumber noodles and in the uni shell you know it looks very lovely very delicate and she serves it and then one of the guests is like now you don't eat the outside right i'm like very lovely, very delicate, and she serves it. And then one of the guests is like, now you don't eat the outside, right? I'm like, I wish they had said yes you do, just to see what would happen if someone tried to eat at the sea urchin shell.

What part about spikes do you not understand is inedible? Yeah. And Hannah asks Anastasia, she's like, did she taste them? And she's like, no, if rich people want to eat that crazy shit, then go for it. Oh, yum. No, if rich people want to eat that crazy shit then go for it So then John's like yeah, I'm good. That was really tough to put down who put this on their preference sheet and Anders is like yeah

It was me. I said anything that looks like a tiny little labia put it on damn I'm gonna swallow it. No, we didn't come here to act like normal people. I'm like, you are acting totally like normal people. Sorry to break it to you. I know. You were acting, yes, that's too bad. So then with June, June, Hannah, June, June, Hannah, June, June, June, June, June, June, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. So, June, this is, that's what Hannah's doing.

And June's like, I honestly don't know what's going on with my radio I mean like yeah like I guess I drop my might your thing sometimes but like I don't know why I can't hear it It sucks I'm like it's because you drop it It's like this isn't no no one was super honey and So then Anna stage has burners out downstairs. So she's having trouble with the lobsters and hannas like that's in a one-of-a-seepy on you know you

i get that the burners are at the the season shift would know how to work around it you know i was you what is what is it what i want anastasia to do like light a fire on the floor and like roast them but either way uh... i mean actually she probably just wrote and can you roast lobsters that wise so uh... uh... either way have just wrote, can you roast lobsters, is that wise? So either way, so they had to take out the lobsters to it at a time instead of like all at once.

So it's really, it's an awkward service. And one thing, makes things also awkward is like Jack and Aisha are just like licking each other in the galley while all this is happening. They're literally licking each other's tongues. Okay. I mean, I was trying to disguise thing, but I just am very amused by that. And it comes right from them looking each other to the wife going, this is a fail that requires all looking your fingers.

I didn't pick up on it. I remember she said that, but yes, Saturday, so funny. So John, he's like, well, I mean, it could too little more. This is like, you know what, can I get this more like medium? Like, I just wanted to be perfect. I like things like, I can't eat them if they're not hot. I mean, was it a surf and turf? I was so confused because I was like, I've never heard of someone ask for their lobster

cooked medium before. Yeah, lobster is cooked. Like that's just like, if it's over-cooked, it's rubbery and grossaring gross. It's like if it's overcooked, you just waste a lot of money. Like, can I have like, and he's yeah, it's like if it's if it's not hot, I can't eat it. Like, it's a lobster, sir. It's you you you were in Boston for many years. Okay. You were a Boston Red Sox. If you do not know how to eat your lobster by now, then that's on you. But his complaint is always like the food's not hot.

And I'm wondering how is it getting colder? Is that just a thing with him? He just like, is it like those people in Starbucks who want their, like who give you a temperature to make their drink, you know? Yeah, I mean, like, I mean, I also like, how do you want, does he just want his lobster directly out of like the pot or something like that?

That's by the way that's what anti-joshita really don't she's just boiled all those lobsters and put them out all at once but like yeah Once you fight once you figure that out and your burners are down, you know, it takes a lot of time to boil that water boy I know I know I know, I know. Who knows, darling? Who knows, not me, but she's exhausted. So she goes outside the light down and Hannah comes to kind of check on her, but also like shame her.

And then the stage is like, oh my god, that was really hard to like kill the animals. Like that was hard. I don't want to kill animals. And Hannah's like, yeah, killing animals is something you have to do if you're a chef. Honey, I'm not even going to smoke at you. I'm going right back inside there. Sit with that honi for a while, honi. Yeah, you know, it's sort of like killing chefs, killing animals. It's sort of just like, you know, if you're a third, you don't have to have your earpiece in.

And you don't have that in. June, June, Hannah. June, June, Hannah. She's not responding. So the wife is slapping Anders' dick shirt, which he's wearing again. And I was just like, I just look someone's tongue and even I'm thinking what the fuck? And then Travis just walks into the galley because at this point Anna Stasia has like She has like entered this weird mental state where she's just like, I just want to clean I just want to clean the pots. Just need to clean the pots. I just need to clean the pots Clean the pots, let's clean pots, to clean the pots. Just need to clean the pots. I just need to clean the pots. Clean the pots, mix clean pots, mix clean pots.

And Travis is like, in a stasia, I have to say something. It's maybe hard to hear. And I feel like people don't say these things enough, but I want to be really honest with you. All I respect you and you're awesome. It's like, what? It's a strong woman.

And not just the cooking, all the decisions you've made in your life. And she's like thanks Appreciate I know appreciate it. Oh guys. I'm sorry. I keep calling him Tyler. I don't know where that comes from It's that's gonna plague me all the season Travis Tyler Tyler Travis Travis Tyler. It's Travis Well, cuz he has a lot of Tyler in him too. He gets a Tyler vibe God it's like once I get something in my head and never leaves. You know, I heard you say it and I just didn't want to make you feel bad.

So I always feel free to correct me because I know it's making everybody crazy. And then I hear you say the right name and I'm like, Oh, geez. I was going to let you do it one more time. The beyond us. But you know, you know, but steering wheels in our audience get beat on while people are like, God, damn it Ronnie Ronnie, can I can I be honest with you for a moment? Please this is something you know people don't say this enough and I figured why not but I appreciate you and our respect All the work you've done um, I'd appreciate you adding that I'm a strong woman in there

And you're strong something And you're strong woman. Thank you, man So we get over to a scene with June complaining to Aisha about how everyone's mean to her and she's this is so shady what they do to poor June. So June has her shirt up and she's rubbing lotion right on her belly. You know, so I guess they're like really driving home this pregnancy thing, you know, but I'm guessing that's what happens I sort of experience theory

Yeah Which is just cracking me up for like leave this poor girl alone. She's literally done nothing you guys I mean, I do you know has has you know, I really liked you and she's been lovely But she keeps saying you know, I don't really hurts my feelings like I don't know why she doesn't like me and like because All she wants is for you to do your job and answer her, like, this is such a fixable situation. You know, so like, June, just like connect the dots. If you, if you answer, everything will be better.

Yeah. So now it's the next, it's the last day of the charter and it's the morning. And Sandy, like, walks through the salon and like all the chairs that are around the, like table the dining table are like out. They're like pushed out and she's like, huh That's not why you're all the chairs out. It's a sandy mystery So June June Sandy June June Sandy June June Sandy and like this is not gonna be good if June is not answering a Sandy, you know

Yeah, so she goes down and finds her in the laundry. She's like, so where's the radio? Oh, it's Georgie. Oh, so you didn't do that at night. Okay, that's, that's fun. So the chairs was there. Was there like a ghost sand set there? Why did all the chairs move out?

They're just out there and June's like, oh, yeah, I just vacuumed. I'm like, you vacuumed and then put the chairs back. She's so good. Oh, she's okay. Can you do that now? I'm like, okay, okay. So they walk out there and the captain goes and grabs her radio. She's like, well, look at that. Got your radio. It's charged. She goes, oh yeah, thanks. I left it there. So you have to listen and answer Hannah otherwise you're gonna feel the wrath of me and my wrath is a big hug With an ice cream cone Okay, you want a hug want my wrath my wrath is about to be 20 minutes of your eyes closed All right with the weighted blanket see a hug while you're that

with the weighted blanket so you hug while you're not. Hahaha. So June's like a promise, nothing's coming through. So Sandy gives June a heart radio, which is like, here my radio works, so here you can have it for the rest of the season. Duh, duh, duh. And then let's go visit Antibi. Oh, sure. So we're in the Antibi or the Antibi or the Antibi. If you depending on who you ask on this show, we still don't know how to pronounce it. Do we?

On tube. It's on the biggest supposed to be on tube, but you know, we like singing Antibi. I thought it was Antibi. That's Collins Ant. Guess what Asian Jack are doing? Making out on the stairs. Yeah. Once again, and Anastasia still rattled from last night, positively rattled from the lobster and burlio. Yeah. She's like, you know what? I want to cook good.

Bye. Bye. Get the fuck off my boat. Okay. So the guests there also, they also down at that table, thankfully, with the table, the chairs pushed in. And I got they bring out like all these like ex ex-penetix, whatever, and then they all ask for drinks.

So Hannah goes to make bloody marries, but she doesn't serve them. And so then Johnny's like, all right, let me start passing these around. So it picks up all of them, it starts serving, which admittedly, there's no oversight. They should have been served. But, you know, again, like they have this attitude is that they have not been weighted on hands and knees for the past four days. Well, it looks like to me everything's put out family style. Yeah, that too.

She gets to grab it. Like how is this different from anything else served family style? I'm not really sure. But you also just sent Hannah off to make you drink. So what do you want? Okay. So he's like, well, I guess I'll do it. Who would sat in my spits? But I guess I'll do it. Who, what's that, am I supposed to sit on? And so now there, I think that they're just cheap bastards because it's towards the end and they're just coming up with reasons to be pissed off now, and complaining. Exactly. Because now one guy wants potatoes and NSA just like,

okay, just so you know, it's gonna be like 15 or 20 minutes. Are you okay with that? He's like, I'll wait. So he's like, okay, cool. So she goes out and she goes back to cook them. And I guess the guy did not want an ex Benedict and Sandy's like, okay, cool. So she goes out, she goes back to cook them. And I guess the guy did not want an ex Benedict and Sandy is like, well, you know, you know that you can have whatever you want for breakfast. He's like, oh, now you tell me on day four. Whoa,

I'm like, suddenly this guy is like, is so like demure that he doesn't know how to ask for an omelet. Yeah, you look like you've ordered plenty of food, sir. I'm sure you've got the hang of it by now. I know, especially since later on, he says he's been on yacht so many times, and yet for some reason he's like, oh, I don't know what to do. I really want an omelet, but I'll just be quiet. Yeah, so the captain goes to Anastasia.

And she's like, is that what they wanted to eat? And Anastasia's like, I don't know. She goes, so do they know that they can order whatever they want? She goes, oh, I told them. Not the best answer. Not a good answer. Not a good answer.

Well, you don't tell them you offer them. And your jacket. Where's your jacket? I don't want you going out there in a t-shirt. It's dirty. Well, we have uniforms and we wear uniforms. She goes, OK, well, I'm just going to go get my dirty jacket. Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh and they're like, oh, great. So what are we going to have for lunch? And she's like, um, a big old kick in the ass.

I'm like, oh, Anastasia, you are playing with fire right now. You really are. But in her defense, these people are so much worse because the wife's like, oh my god, she said like, you have to wait. And I'm like, uh, always. I'm like, lady, it was not, she was not. So of course she's trying to turn it into like a power play and they're like congratulating each other for like calling on a stage It's bluff. I'm like no she was just saying it's gonna cost 15 minutes

It's gonna take 50 minutes and she knows that you guys are such a high High maintenance trash that if she doesn't tell you that after three minutes to be like where are the potatoes? I can't believe I'm still sitting over without the potatoes, you know? Yeah, and congratulations rich people. You really told that service person, like, hassles. That's such a digs, man. So she's like, over them, they need to go. So then we go to Jack and Tyler in their bunks.

Well, Jack's in his and he's talking to Travis. Sorry, I wrote down Tyler, guys, it's just his thing today. So Jack Jackson has, and he's talking to Travis. Sorry, I wrote down Tyler, guys, it's just his thing today. So, Jack and Travis, and he's like, oh, mate, I'm not used to not having to wink this much. This is crazy. I need to wink it. Yeah. And Travis is like, oh, you only jiggle off when you're on on on on on on on an anchor watch. And we see like a footage of like Travis looking at a very active zoom porn on his phone and just like Opening his legs and like opening and closing his legs like these poor editors that have to sit through this footage I know because we've had so many shots over the years of people jerking off the main one was a meal member him

Oh my god. Oh, that was great. Oh, a meal.. I miss a meal. They show him jerking off under the cover as see you So he's like, oh you did that you that's what you do I could open the door any moment alright leave the door unlocked you can have a danger wink a danger wink So now Sandy there you know the the charters winding down so Sandy is like Soul clients. how was it? We want to know. I'd be like, well, you know, the only way we get better is if we take naps and then are honest afterwards

about how we feel, okay? So they start going in like, well, we've done yachts and we've done trips and Frances, some of the best food in the world. And it was good. It wasn't five-star. I was surprised about that.'m like well why don't you go to the restaurants on land instead of a bravo reality tv yacht

yeah well they should be getting five star food pressure they didn't be sure that i'm just angry at them i'm angry at them because you know if it was the other way around i'd be like you know this is bullshit they're on a yacht and maybe a reality show but they should feel the black star food but i'm just mad at them some just gonna take it yeah i guess just suck so she's like well what was wrong with it should see the beginning of my star food, but I'm just mad at them, so I'm just going to take any of my stars. Yeah, I guess just suck. So she's like, well, what was wrong with it? Was it the quality of the food in Johnny's? Like, um, I have to have food hot or I won't eat it.

Okay, like hot food, hot food. Well, don't complain about your melted ice cream then. Yeah, one of the guys is like, I mean, we could have been eating in any of these restaurants on the dock and the wife Oh, this terrible lady. She's like, um, I'm used to five star This is not five star. And she's dressed like she's like the star of a skin of maximum movie right now Okay, so like don't talk don't talk to me about five star Michelle lady trying to start a physical fight on board

lady trying to start a physical fight on board. Geez. So the captain, the captain going, maybe promoting Anastasia was a mistake. It's been a while since I really got angered by some guests. You know, I feel like guests who normally anger me this season, I've been like pretty even keeled about, but these guests, wow, wow, they really bothered me these guests are like every reason I won't go to a sports game other than that I hate sports and don't understand that because whenever I what this is like my childhood memory of going to games with the family there's always just these people like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're gonna start a fight my teeth better than your team yeah, like slap my dick. Yeah, and by the way the guy who the guy who wants the potatoes and who like didn't know that he could order

his own eggs and says like we've done yachts before he was actually like the most like like most like sort of like like he seemed the most like At least the least trashy of them I should say like he was like the most articulate or whatever He seemed like most well-mannered. So I was surprised that he was like kind of, actually, and his criticism, I mean, he really wasn't being that much of a dick. He was just saying, this is what I want,

this is what I expected. I guess I just was surprised that he was even there. I know, I was like, who's that dude? Yeah, he's not wearing a penis on his shirt. What's he doing here? Yeah. Well, everybody, that brings us to the end of below dick mid. We will be back tomorrow with guests. What? See you tomorrow at the Mirap Orange County and we will be doing a video recap for that.

So you can find those on Crappensutton Man. If you're so inclined, we're also going to be doing Southern Charms this week on video. Yeah. So find our videos, our bonuses, everything, show dates, t-shirt links, all that good stuff over at WatchUpCrapins.com and we will talk to you tomorrow. Bye everyone. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. and add free with Wondry Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.