Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: From Duska Til Dawn

Episode Date: June 30, 2021

Below Deck Med is back, and it's karmic justice time when Sandy's first charter is ruined by her new chef. Will she recover? Will the crew be able to whip together a chefless meal? And will w...e get to hear from Norma? This week's bonus is a quick dive into HBO Max' Mare of Easttown. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've got a cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker Well, hello, welcome to a new season of below deck. I am Dushka. Okay? Welcome to listen to show. I don't know steak. Welcome to watch what crap and some podcasts for all that crap we just love to talk about on your bros. I'm Ronnie that's been over there. Hi, man. Hey Ronnie. What's up? How are you?
Starting point is 00:01:09 I am great. I am I'm doing Ronnie I think I have to do this podcast without me. I Like my finger hurts a little bit and I just it's not gonna be the same. I Mean I have to go to the doctor. I'm sorry What was this first episode of Below Deck Med? Wow, came roaring back, nice heaping of revenge on Karmic Justice. Yeah, Karmic Justice on Sandy this season.
Starting point is 00:01:39 Wow, what an episode. Do you have anything you wanna talk about before we get into the app? No, I don't have anything to talk about because like I said, I need to go to the doctor. My finger hurts. Oh yeah! No, this was a really good, it was a really good, really good way to come roaring back with this disaster of an episode. Oh my god, there was just so much. It was, oh my goodness. Yeah, let's just get into it. Yeah, we just recorded another episode Which you can hear if you listen to the one before this called shots or sunset, okay? So we did that already so we have nothing I have nothing to say. I'm not gonna say I've got it
Starting point is 00:02:15 Yeah, so the episode opens up with the season trailer So that's good for for that if you haven't seen the season trailer You got to see it right then and there and then We don't even get opening credits. We just get like that title, that title card thing that Bravo does when things are so serious. We don't even have time for opening credits. You have to go, blah, and you see below deck, med. And we are in Croatia in subbenic, subbenic, subbenic, subbenic, I'll just call it subbenic.
Starting point is 00:02:43 And it's day one of the charter season, and Sandy is looking at a binder. You know what I do? When I'm in doubt, I look at papers. That's what I do. That's what real leaders do, okay? Paper, paperwork. So Sandy's handling a lot of paperwork.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Now I'm not sure when this is shot. I'm not sure how timing wise when it's shot, like if this is after the reunion and they're starting shooting after that because Sandy and Malia both look shell shocked, especially Sandy. Yeah. I mean, Sandy looks very stressed out. There's like kind of a new tint to her hair. I don't know if it all went gray after the last season of that reunion, especially or what, but she looks super stressed with her paperwork. Like, wow, that's not a happy woman. They're with that paperwork. like wow that's a lot of happy woman
Starting point is 00:03:25 there with that paperwork okay Sandeys about to hurt somebody. I call her hair the Adam as in Adam from He-Man like before Adam becomes He-Man he sort of has that hair you know is he blonde? Adam's blonde or is it He-Man that's blonde? Mm-hmm. It's too manly for me okay. If you need to know anything about you you know, Hello Kitty or the strawberry shortcake, that was my girl during the human race.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Yeah, no, it's definitely an atom. Like if you look up, if you look up atom from human, if you do a Google search, it's basically Captain Sandy's hair. So it's actually like I'm looking at it right now and it's like shockingly accurate. I'm just going to walk around and I'm going to, you know, go and look at for a scalator, you know, but I'm, but you know what, you know what, and he man, if you need, if you need some help, slay in the dragons, might I suggest to your food, to your food, he man. Do your food battle cat.
Starting point is 00:04:26 So now that one of the questions that's probably lingering over someone's mind is, what is the new chiefs? Do you gonna be like, how are we going to fill Hannah's shoes? Are they gonna get this person going to get along with Sandy? So in walks Katie, the new chiefs do, and the first thing she basically says to Captain Sandius, I'm a hugger. I'm a hugger. At which point I was like, okay, she is in with Sandy. Captain's like, Oh, okay, hugs. Okay, then like, wow, the captain doesn't like hugs at first. She is really stressed from the last season.
Starting point is 00:05:02 And Katie is, you know, breathing really hard because this boat is very difficult. It was the most difficult boat we've ever seen. It's like spiral staircases all over the place and three levels. And is this a different boat from last season? Because last season's boat was huge, but I couldn't remember. This looked like last season's boat, but they talked about it in a way like, it was even bigger than last season. The biggest boat of all time. Yeah, so Katie's like I'm kind of nice to meet you. You know, I'm looking over this Paperwork, give them a very serious person hold on just listen to this sound
Starting point is 00:05:39 Hear that papers. It's a sound of papers sounds like a wind You know what stack of papers if you were a kind of wind. Sounds like a wind. You know what? Stack of papers. If you were a kind of wind, I'd call you the Productivity Gail. Okay. So Katie, let me put down these papers. These very serious papers. I saw on those papers that you have experienced. So that's a good thing, right? Well, you know, I'd consider myself a a typical stew chiefs to my last bit with 73 meter and I had 73 I had seven girls under me. I had literally had seven girls I was standing on top of seven girls' shoulders. We were an acrobatic team. Wow, everyone, it wasn't the most efficient thing, but man, you suddenly had a memory when you saw the tower of Steve's coming towards you. Am I right? You know, I just have to get things done right.
Starting point is 00:06:25 It's a cappacorn thing. Having a positive attitude, that's important because if you just just suck a bitch telling them what to do, they're gonna be like, fuck off my right. Like, um, you're gonna last about five minutes without attitude, man. Okay. Yeah. Also, she's gonna be a psycho bitch because I feel like this is what we, I feel like we just see this every season. We see this this with we start with Jenna on below deck sailing for season we start with Francesca. Lesson I long to be friends with my steves I don't want anyone to be upset we work better as a team and then like my episode three I fucking hate this person I'm gonna make fun of them in the galley. Yes and then it becomes look what you made me do look what you made me do. I'm a made me do. Oh, I'm a good person.
Starting point is 00:07:06 So the captain is extending out to her. She's like, you know what, Katie, Katie the hard breather, go and check out your boat. We're con at your boat because I am gonna give you that power. Go check out. I love giving people power. You know, last season, that was the hardest season I ever did in my life And everyone looks back and has regrets, you know, lies in Manelli
Starting point is 00:07:29 Maybe she looks back and says too many scarves. I don't know President, you know, President Obama probably looks back and thinks wow, you know, maybe I could have been a movie star You know, everyone has regrets, you know, I look back some a movie star. You know, everyone has regrets. You know, I look back at some firing, firing a chef for French fries and a girl with anxiety who had some value and which I could probably use right about now. Yeah. Okay. You know, you know, I came back though because I love to mentor people and tormenting
Starting point is 00:08:01 people too, like being a mentor and a tormentor. And I want to lead a team, and that's why I'm here. Yeah, you know what I love saying? Yes, because I'm also a consentor. Okay. You know what, I not only do I love to mentor and to be a tormentor, I also love Skeletor. Believe it or not, a little off- Hi, I'm brand for me.
Starting point is 00:08:22 I've refused to buy a house this long because I just want to be a rent-tour. Because really it goes with the rest of what I was saying before. You know, I know that Skeletor is considered a villain, but really all that Skeletor did wrong is he didn't lack his medications with me. That's all. Listen, it's just the power of a great school. Okay, that's the rules. But after last season, I was like, that's it. I'm done.
Starting point is 00:08:46 But you know what? I got a trapper keeper full of large papers. And I got back to it because that's what heroes are made of. Stacks of papers, okay? You knock someone down, then you stand up and you wait for someone else to knock down, okay? I'm a mentor and I am going to lead a team that's not snorting Xanax through their heroin pipes You know, it's like that that song by Chubaka I get knocked down but get up again
Starting point is 00:09:13 You nobody gonna keep me down, okay? Because I love a cider drink. I love a whiskey drink, but not on duty not on charter Okay, I'm actually sober so that entire part of the song. I don't even sing. I just, I sing the chorus and pretend I'm in a strict commercial. So then Belia comes on board and she's just chipper. Malia. I've got a little backpack. I'm so happy. God, I love being here. It is amazing being here. I'm so happy. She's just gonna, she's gonna take this head on with the most positive attitude she can, she can muster, which, you know, good for her reset. Yeah. She's coming for a full season reset.
Starting point is 00:09:47 She does do a full season reset and you would have never thought that she spent the second half of last season just on the shit list of all Bravo Watchers. She's just like, it's okay, well, I'm back. She's very good at pretending that nothing's happened because she caused a lot of shit her first season member and then She came back the next season and everyone's like oh my god, it's so great And it wasn't until like halfway through that she remembered the shit that we remembered the shit for the first season She's good at that. She's a true bravo personality. He's just like reset automatic reset nothing happened everything's great He's just like reset automatic reset nothing happened everything's great
Starting point is 00:10:33 Yeah, that actually is true. So then we also meet our chef Matthew with one two and he comes on board and You know he's on board and then we just people are coming in and Sandy is talking to Matt and the galley and he's like Yeah, you know I've been a professional chef for the past 14 years because he sort of gave me like a Woody Allen vibe. Like Woody Allen persona, not like Woody Allen problematic vibe, but he was like, you know, I've been a professional chef for the past 14 years and I was a private chef for the Dolan family who owns Mass Vergonne
Starting point is 00:11:01 and who put Murdoch and Robert Kraft. I'm like, these are, what am Kraft. I'm like, do you say? I'm like Captain Glenn. I keep singing Captain Glenn. I know. It's coming out as Captain Glenn, and I'm sorry, everyone. I haven't done a Woody Allen impersonation quite some time. So here's, I think he looks like Bradley Cooper.
Starting point is 00:11:16 He looks like a shaved head Bradley Cooper. What? At first? He looks like everyone. He's like, everyone. But his tomorrow is like way through in terms. He's like, yep, work for some pretty impressive people. Have you ever been chased by the captain? Like, oh, impressive.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Yeah, I was looking over these papers. It was showing me all the impressive paper work. The people you've worked for here. Hold on, hear this. That's impressive papers. Okay. Have you ever been chased by a Saudi pirate ship? No. Have you ever had pirates come on and try to murder you? No, you know what, we'll get there. I can make it for you. Have you cooked for Tom Brady at Robert Craftshouse? Yes. Okay. Well, that's good enough. So then no shaved head lady Gaga tell me the truth shaved head Bradley cool
Starting point is 00:12:07 The thing is you know what this guy looks like to me He looks like every guy you've ever seen in a sports bar when a baseball playing game is playing and like you're there to meet friends But you can't hear them because for some reason the bar is playing the baseball game so loudly and you're like I'm not here To know what the Padre scores, but like he's at the next table. I'm like, yes, yes. Oh my God. Balgai on baseball cap quiet down. But he does know he jacked man. They root for Murdoch.
Starting point is 00:12:34 So he's like, God, you know what? I just hope that people like me. Yep. Well, so far at first, my redon him was like, oh, that's another douchebag chef. I was not expecting him to be like neurotic chef. I was really not expecting that. So now, Malia finally sees Sandy and they have this very awkward hug
Starting point is 00:12:53 where I feel like the subtext was, we're really happy to see each other, but we know America hates us, so we have to be like distant to each other so that way people don't think we're in good goods. I kind of got of got that vibe from it right and they're pretending that all this time has gone by when it's probably been like three days Since they flew back from watch your happens live and got their asses ripped They're probably like put reading on the internet, you know like fuck you and die Like wow wow look at you and Melia. What did you do over that week last year?
Starting point is 00:13:24 What did you do and Melia year? What did you do? And Malia's like, oh my god, it's just been non-stop, you know, charter in the med. People hate me. Then I did another charter in the med. God, somebody called me the seaworth today on Twitter. Basically, that's what I'm dealing with. Listen, you don't listen to those haters, okay, because you know what you are? You're a princess of power. That's what you are. Okay?
Starting point is 00:13:47 Malia, that's what we're gonna call you, princess of power. So what says, what says both did you work on POP? You know, that's just a power. She's like second officer, Captain, high fives. So they high fives. So last time Malia was in Croatia, she was in the Croatia. they high five. So, so last time Malia was in Croatia, she was a green deque back in the day, back in that season that you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:14:15 So that's something for people to know. And then we see Matt, he meets Katie and we're just like meeting a lot of people, a lot of things are happening. People just keep just like a parade of people coming on board. So now we meet David, who is a decand with a big toothy grin and then Lexi and Lexi is the best one. Yeah, Lexi is the best one. Lexi's from NASA.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Yeah. And Katie is just trying to be so chipper and Lexi's like, yeah, I'm from the Bahamas and she tells us I was Miss Bahamas Miss 2013, but I really don't like to tell people that and then it cussed her going. Yeah, I was Miss Bahamas I'm in chapter. Miss Bahamas badge. Yeah And she goes I don't like to tell Yachties that I was Miss Bahamas because then they start getting super bossy But like I'm still pretty and you're not. So it's okay.
Starting point is 00:15:06 I love when people who have bosses get mad when they're bosses act like bosses, and then blame them. Yeah, it's like she's just bossing me around because I'm pretty of them here. Like no, she's your boss, actually. And then we meet Lloyd who has a boss. He's basically kind of like Brian Moilin a little bit and then
Starting point is 00:15:27 In it's in Z right but he says you can call me Z. He's just like adorable. What? Moosey you pronounce it. Moosey. Oh, I don't see. Moosey. Okay. I think it's a museum. That's how I wrote it down I wrote it was like for one fuck this up. That's my note I wrote it down. I wrote it down. It was like, don't fuck this up. That's my note. Well, either way, he's like, he's adorable. He looks like he's 12 years old and he's on board.
Starting point is 00:15:52 And the big news. And we're talking to David or one of them and she's like, so where are you from? He's like, I'm a Brit. She's like, oh, yeah, my last but was almost all British. I was seeing no Brit, do you? Yeah, because my last but was almost all British. I was sooner brits do you yeah because my last boyfriend was a Brit And then she says yeah, you know my relationship really took a toll on me. I mean, it's really a tough period to figure ship out Okay, okay, so she's gonna come here with the broken heart thing together. Well, I'm not working, ma'am
Starting point is 00:16:22 I mean, he was a monster and she's like, she's like, yeah, I thought that Tom and I were gonna be forever a couple But then one day I put a thingy link potato in the trash Why don't you next one? And then we meet Courtney. She's from Wales. Yeah. Courtney and a lover. Yeah, I thought she was, she, um, I thought she was gonna be like very air-head-y
Starting point is 00:16:57 and she wasn't at first, but you never know because on the last blow deck, what's her face? Elizabeth, Elizabeth was, her the first chart or she's seen very competent and then of course she nearly poisoned them all with mustard gas. So you never know. So Z comes up to Malien, he's got a notebook and he's like, I'm really eager to learn. I haven't done much, but you know, I'm an interrupted family in my older brothers, chiefs do. And first officer, my second brother's chiefs do Captain Captain officer.
Starting point is 00:17:28 And my third brother is an officer of deck hands of officers. So I just hope I do well. I really just hope I do well. She's like, a notebook. Wow. I mean, he really is green. Yeah. And then we see a shot of Matt hitting his head on like a girder, which happens like 10 more times within the next 30 seconds.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Like every, there are two things that we cut away to this episode. Matt hitting his head or Matt's empty bed. It's one of the other. Like those the cutaway shots. Yeah, because we see that the kitchen, okay, the kitchen is on one level, but then to get to the, the walkings, you have to go down of two flights of spiral staircases to get to the the walkins, you have to go down of two flights of spiral staircases to get to the walkins. So it's hell, it's bloody hell. And he's hitting his head all over
Starting point is 00:18:10 the place. So now it's tamed for by the way, it's definitely a different boat because the kitchen, the galley and the last one was that big sort of open concept. It had like an island in it, which we'd never seen before. So this was definitely a different, different one. Yeah, we'd remember the two, the two flights of stairs. So guys, time for salon meeting. Welcome guys. We are beginning a new journey. You know what I love? Your energy. You know what I love more if one of you was holding some paperwork so I could take you seriously. God damn it. I mean really. Come on. Now if one of you want if you want to career in this and you want this,
Starting point is 00:18:45 I'm here to help. OK? That's what I want to do. I want to help you and inspire you. So we want to stay in the guidelines of protocol. So if any of you or any of the guests are injured, OK, I need to be the first one to know about it because that's extra paperwork.
Starting point is 00:19:02 So we really like that a lot. And by the way, let's get this on camera. If any of you are on prescribed medication, we need know about it. Okay, unlock it. All right, is that on camera? All right, even no drugs. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Yeah, no drinking and no drugs. And the chef's like, hi on life, Sandy. I am high on life. I like you so intense with that smile. And she goes, I know. Yeah, that's kind of funny. OK, so we've got Alex's. And look at these three guys.
Starting point is 00:19:37 They're all extremely good looking. Apparently, you have no personalities because they are behind the scenes, while Mario from Super Mario Brothers actually has the speaking role. So let's get to the personality free ones. Alex, Chief Engineer, Martin, Chief Officer, Jake, Second Engineer, go away, please never let us see you again or you're fired.
Starting point is 00:19:56 And that one in the corner is Orco. All right, guys, thanks for being on here. We won't see the rest of the season. Okay. So Sandy is, um, Sandy's like, so guys, do you like the boat? Huh? Anyone, anyone want to compare it to something that they probably shouldn't compare it to? And Courtney is like, well, I like it. It reminds me the Titanic. They're like, oh, great. And Katie, guess, oh, you've been on the Titanic, can we see it? Um,
Starting point is 00:20:23 and she and Sandy is talking about Lady Michelle, the boat boat and she says, you know, this is an this boat. It's like it's like Disney World. You never see the garbage being taken out mainly because no one takes out the garbage that's going to be an issue and also lots of stairs stairs up. Go I got the stairs going sideways just lots of stairs everywhere. So wait the guest never have to see ya, huh? All right, well, you guys are free now. Go do whatever you want in life, which means clean things, okay? Gold if you're dream of cleaning, go onward. I'm here to mentor you in cleaning, okay? So go do that. So they start cleaning and now it's provisions time and this giant 18 wheeler shows up with pallets of food.
Starting point is 00:21:03 And it's like, it's a lot. It's a lot of food. Basie Matt has ordered too much food. Basie, because it seems like he's going to be feeding a small country on this boat. There's just a lot of food. Well, this is definitely where you're like, how much experience does this guy have?
Starting point is 00:21:20 Because this isn't just a lot of food. This is palettes and palettes and palettes of mangoes. What? Why? You know food goes bad, right? Yeah. You know this is not a cruise line. And Sandy's like, oh my gosh, red flag.
Starting point is 00:21:34 So the chef's like, well, I thought it would be a shit show before the palettes arrived. And now I think I overordered. He's like, I wanna make it huge to impress the guests, but instead I'm actually just going to bail on it so that way they're actually the exact opposite. So then, um, then Courtney starts talking about how she first started. I first started yawning as a stewardess Nani, and then I got a job on a 60 meter, and that's when I became the queen of laundry, and then I worked at Disneyland Paris and I've been a premo girl
Starting point is 00:22:05 I was a bartender, you know, I worked in parliament. I was actually the president of a small country and now here I am You know, I always say this is the one mouth. This is the job and then it's not the chopper Same with men Just like those nervous suck and laugh I'm like the nervous suck in laugh lover. So then Lexi is trying to find space for all this crap and the chefs like wow really does look like a lot Definitely looks like I won't be once we've had it looks like a lot. It's not Like we can only see a patch your head behind the pile of pineapples that you've ordered. It is a lot of food.
Starting point is 00:22:50 So then there's like a stew meeting and Katie names Lexia's the second stew. And Malia, she's doing a deck hand meeting, but she's not going to name a lead deck hand because unlike last season, when she made that lead at deckhand prematurely, she's not gonna rely on CVs this time around. Yeah and which is kind of weird because how many deckhands does she have to? And one of them's like literally never been this is first job isn't this is used for a job or something? Oh no there's three there's three. There's three. Yeah, there's David Yeah, okay, so I'm a little bit like gives like intern energy. So you know, I mean, there's a whole sequence later on where he's basically It's like 45 minutes trying to like turn a float over so then Katie
Starting point is 00:23:38 Katie meanwhile is once again insisting that she's not crazy She's like oh, I'm not one of these crazy chiefs dudes. I'm a fun chiefs dude. I had seven girls under me. I'm a fun K-way chiefs dude. That's what I am. Yeah, it's very cool mom energy, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:55 And Lexi is like, I have a love hate experience with chiefs dudes, you know, like, when they make it up to that rank, the lazy bitch just start flowing through their veins. Okay? You know what? Just don't tell me what to do because I'll do it my way. Oh, respectfully. The pretty. Uh, a beauty pageant way. Not that I want to talk about that, but it is a certain sort of way that I'm used to because I've been in beauty pageants, you know? So, um, Senna does more cleaning and more provisions and Matt is going up and down these stairs and his knee is starting to hurt.
Starting point is 00:24:26 So then Lloyd gives us some background. Lloyd also has these strange little stories and he's like, yeah, I was a European catch drive. I used to drive from across Europe into Russia and then there was a guy who came up to me and he was a Russian and he said, you look like the Nicholas Cage and they thought I was so funny that they made a t-shirt for me And then I had to wear that for the rest of the bus total a t-shirt that said you look like the Nicholas Cage Or mustache is back. I don't know if I approve of this
Starting point is 00:24:56 He looks like a guy who's like everybody wants to fuck this guy in improv, but like that's the only place Yeah, he gives me big time, low-spelless comedy hipster energy. Yeah. All right, very first preference sheet meeting, let's get together, okay? So we've got a very, very, very according to this paper where successful professional Clint and Carrie,
Starting point is 00:25:22 are their friends, they were forced to cancel their original wedding plans. However, this trip would be perfect for a wedding. And we have the primaries to res Percenty. She's like, uh, it's like if you said 10% but you change the end into a res and at an eye at the end of the percent. That's what I'm talking about. That's a memory. It's called demonic. I'm just mentoring you, you know so Also, there's someone named Jordan and it's gonna be his birthday party And then we want to have a bachelor in a bachelor party and Clinton carry want to get married on day three What could go wrong should be pretty simple, huh Matt? Yo, okay? You just popped your head again Didn't see this last page All the couples will be giving birth they each want a baby shower and a college graduation
Starting point is 00:26:04 So let's get those all together guys. Okay, get to it. Murder mystery party. They actually want us to fish the fine, put a net outside the boat and find a merman and then have him host the murder mystery party. So we got to get working on that. And the chef's like, wow, I love weddings. But this is going to be the first one I do alone. My parents got married in divorce and then remarried. So I was conceived during the divorce and they call me their bastard child. His smile is so intense, this guy looks terrifying. I know, it's pants are like, we don't call you our bastard child,
Starting point is 00:26:45 we call you our bastard, comma, child. Because you're a bastard. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly
Starting point is 00:27:13 honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world,
Starting point is 00:27:45 listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So now it's dusting, dusting, dusting, dusting, dusting, putting away more ingredients, more ingredients, and Lexi crashes into a railing with a box and knocks herself over, which I think we've all been there. And now it's time for the crew to eat dinner. And Katie starts asking everyone if they're single. And then it comes out that Katie's ex was Jack.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Was Jack the from Liverpool from a few seasons ago, Jack, who has Katie's face tattooed on her arm? That's what he has. I met her when I was fucking waste. I see a little clip of Jack. Yeah. I wonder if he's gonna come back this season. I wonder if someone will get fired and be like, who can we find?
Starting point is 00:28:36 His Jack. Just Jack. Yeah. So then she's like, yeah, you know, he's a little intense. So I just wasn't there yet. But, you know, we were just so young. It I just wasn't there yet, but you know, we were just so young It was just so passionate. Oh, it's never gonna work, but you know, we were together a year and a half. It makes it kind of worth it wrong I guess so
Starting point is 00:28:56 Everyone gets into bed and Matt has knee is just getting more and more sore so he gets to bed and then like He can't sleep. We see Lloyd snoring and then it's 1.45 in the morning and he wakes up and he's like looking through his notes and everything and he's, he's just nervous because he has no plan and this is when he starts getting really, really neurotic and everything. And I was like 5 a.m. and he's in the kitchen, he's going like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Starting point is 00:29:22 So then he finally calls for Captain Sandy. Yeah, he's just walking around saying fuck He should have talked to Courtney because she's like I have all these books that are being combed one is actually called comb the fuck down Miss that so the chef comes to Sandy and he's like um, I Hurt my name last night. I'm like, oh, okay. well, you know, I did say if you're injured, come to me first. So that was great, good job, gold star. Okay, let me go get one. I'll put it right on your forehead. He's like, no, no, I don't feel like I can do this.
Starting point is 00:29:55 I don't feel like I can do this properly. Just like, not even where there are helped. Do you want to hold a stack of papers? That might make you feel better. I make you look like a great. No, if it's your help, it's not going to be the same, you know? And then trying to figure out the kitchen with this handy cap, I mean, how am I supposed to do this? So what are you saying? I'm freaking out!
Starting point is 00:30:19 I'm freaking out, man! I don't know what to say! I can't do it! I can't do it with this! With this, I can't! She's like, uh-'t know what to say. I can't do it. I can't do it with this, with this, I can't. She's like, uh-huh. OK, so what can I do for you exactly? He's like, I want an MRI.
Starting point is 00:30:32 I want an MRI or nobody's leaving this bank. It's my livelihood standing at my foot. I don't want it to get worse. I don't know what it is. It doesn't feel right, Sandy. It doesn't feel right. And. It doesn't feel right. And she's like, okay, sort of, sort of wish we had some unprescribed value for this guy now. Has not funny. So, he's like losing his mind. And then I wrote down David as teaching Z something. I don't know what that is.
Starting point is 00:31:06 I don't know, but then he, um, he's talking about how I was born in Italy. And I didn't really have a father that I knew very well. So my father's have always been men on boats. So here I am, just looking for a daddy, you know. I just want to pay that forward and be a father to someone else, which is why I'm teaching ZZ You've been such a good son to me You can see my entire life story in the new musical looking for daddy hitting Broadway this fall
Starting point is 00:31:37 So then Malia is talking to Katie and telling her about the chef being out in his knee and She's like, um, so I guess we're supposed to help. And Katie's like, you know what? I don't have time to be angry with her about this. So do I want to thin stew down? Absolutely not, but we don't really have a choice. Whenever I'm in trouble like this, I just remind myself that my face is on someone's arm.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Who knows? And so Sandy makes a call to Norma to find out like if she can get some help. And she's like, you know what? He's our first to give charter. And I am ready to vomit in my mouth. But here's the good news. Drame mean doesn't have to be logged. Doesn't have to be.
Starting point is 00:32:20 She's like, well, I have to follow protocol. And I can't just get a new chef because of COVID, you know, that would have to quarantine for 14 days. So Courtney is helping him. So Courtney goes down to help the chef and she's like, hello, do you need my help? And he's like, so it has to shift the fruit plate. God, God, God, I'm going to fucking lose my shit. Get your high-downs,er and never sing your families again. It's like a very bank-costage situation.
Starting point is 00:32:48 He scares the crap out of me. I would be scared to be in there with him. It's very much like, you know, I'm in pain. I'm gonna be extremely dramatic about it. And like, you can't, there's no space for you to feel anything right now because all, my only my feelings are available to this room at this moment.
Starting point is 00:33:07 So then we cut to Z, he's in the crew mess and he's looking at a device and he's like, I don't know if this is minutes of temperature. Lloyd is like, it's a waffle machine. I'm like, I don't even know what Z was trying to do with a waffle machine. Like, do you think it was a fax or something? I'm like, wow don't even know what Z was trying to do with a waffle machine. Like, do you think it was a facts or something? I'm like, wow, he really is green. And then back up the sandwich press, a little Pidini press thing. Courtney tells the chef, um, so you're gonna make it through this child of chef?
Starting point is 00:33:35 And he's like, no, and she goes, no. She's like just trying to be friendly. She's trying to be like, you know, let's raise the mood in here and he's like, no, no. Oh my goodness. All right, well, chef Matt, we got your MRI. So that's gonna be real fucking interesting. I guess go do that, okay?
Starting point is 00:33:58 Told Norman to have a couple of strippers here. Good luck. Hope it works. Yeah. So he goes off, well well he doesn't go off, but she tells him that, and then Katie goes on a rant about wet towels. She hates wet towels on the ground, and she hates when, don't you hate wind goers, have wet towels, they just go to the show,
Starting point is 00:34:16 and they put wet towels on the floor. Don't you hate that? I'm like, wow, what Jack really traumatized her? I'm just imagining Jack just leaving wet multi towels everywhere, and now she's just like scarred by it. So the captain is sending the chef off and she's like, don't give up, okay? He's like, it's like losing it. So they leave and then the guests start to arrive and they just look like trouble. They just look like fucking nightmares. This lady Terez has a terrifying, terrifying face. I don't even wanna say, I don't even wanna say look on her face.
Starting point is 00:34:56 She's just terrifying. She just looks like someone that we've all been on an airplane with and like she is, she's gonna do that. She's a dinger. You know she's one of those people on the airplane, the second she sits down. Ding. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:13 You know that she's a sort of person where there's a whole line of people trying to get onto this plane. And then she's at her seat, and she has her little bag. And instead of just getting into her seat, she puts her bag on the seat, and then she rummages through it
Starting point is 00:35:24 to take out the oneages through it to take out The one little thing to take out like a tiny cable that you could have taken out a long time ago But she takes it out now, but you can't find it and she rummages and rummages and rummages And then she finally finds it and then she puts the bag in the overhead compartment Which is too early because it's only for the large bags and she takes out another bag to look through something else And she goes, sorry, hold on one second. You're like bitch, there was an entire line of people Teres or they're like, okay pre-boarding and she's, sorry, hold on one second. And you're like, bitch, there's an entire line of people, to res.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Yeah. Or they're like, okay, pre-boarding and she gets up there. Like, ma'am, you are not disabled. She's like, I paid to go early. Rick, but you're the group after the special needs group. No, I paid to go early in the airplane. And now you're telling me I can't go on early. You know what she is? She is the one where we've all boarded.
Starting point is 00:36:12 We haven't taken off. We're still in the tarmac. And then she decides that she has to go the bathroom. And then she gets up to go the bathroom. And then you have to hear the flat-tend and say, we have now pulled away from the tarmac. So we're gonna ask everyone to return to their seats. Everyone returned to their seats.
Starting point is 00:36:26 But it's really directed towards Tarez. And you're always like, who is up right? Who is standing up? Oh, it's Tarez. Of course Tarez is standing up right now. Yes. By the end, she's being wrestled to the ground by an air marshal. You know, that's her.
Starting point is 00:36:37 So they're coming on. And this whole group of people is very reliant on being from Texas as part of their personality. That's like, he's part of who they are. So Katie's like, why don't I give you the two? And the guy's like, well, it's raining, but we're from Texas. We're going to bring the sun. And then when they see the jacuzzi, another girl's like, it's Texas size.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Yeah, they were really, really into this. Into this Texas thing. Like they were the first people to ever make these comments. Meanwhile, Lloyd is talking about how this is like, I guess he had, he was just, Lloyd keeps peppering this episode with like strange biographical information. Now it's that he's like,
Starting point is 00:37:20 he was apprehensive the first time he was on a charter and he's like, he's chartered, I guess, look a lot more demanding than I'm used to driving coaches. I'm like, okay. Sure. So then everybody is getting changed into their next outfit because I have to change like 20 times to hang on the show. It's basically like a housewife show where people actually do housework. And the guys are like, how did Malia change so quickly? Because she's like, all right guys change. And then she just walks back out like it's her superhero thing.
Starting point is 00:37:48 And meanwhile, the lower guest area and then the bridge, the captain's like, all right, I got news to break guys. We're from Texas, we can take it. Okay, well, our chef entered himself. Will you better tell him to grab those bulls by the horn, mom. All right. Well, we're going to leave him at the back.
Starting point is 00:38:09 OK. He did. He did actually order a bull from provisions. There's a bull in the kitchen right now. So there is that. But so Teresa's like, so there's no chef. I mean, you're going to have to tip us if that's the case. Am I right guys?
Starting point is 00:38:22 I thought I thought. Teres. So the captain's the case. Am I right guys? I bought it. I bought it. Yeah. Teriz. So the captain's like, well, you know what? Because of COVID, our hands are tied. Oh yeah? Well, you're gonna tip us, so I'm gonna tie you with a rope, shaped like a knee, text down, out from the body, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Come on, some Texas. Alasso, I was trying to think of, sorry. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, then you are from Texas. Texas Alasso I was trying to think of sorry Well, they are from Texas and you are from Texas, Ron. I'm from El Paso like I live outside Austin now Yes, I live outside Austin now, but I'm from El Paso. It's a very different kind of Texas and these people these people are all Austin They're like new new money Austin people. Oh the words. They like they move there from Orange County so Trezz is like, hey, um, can I get myself hung and steamed? Okay, and then we're gonna have lunch now and then water sporns. So, uh, then there's like dock and drama.
Starting point is 00:39:16 The anchor is going up, et cetera. And Courtney is unpacking Teresa's bag. And of course, he's like, oh my god, I love these. These are wonderful. It's just basically checking out Teresa's bag and of course he's like oh my god I love these these are wonderful they're not just basically checking out Teresa's clothing yeah so release the lights release the lines and then lunch is served and it's octopus and lentil salad for lawful some kind of salad and they're like delicious wonderful wow yeah and one of the guys like, okay, but who is gonna cook for us tonight? Yeah, no one, that's the best part.
Starting point is 00:39:49 No one is gonna cook for you or anyone who's qualified. So Lexi tells us a little story about how she was doing cocktail service at home and then her captain friend invited her to work on a boat. And that's kind of how she got into yachting, but she misses her days of being served the champagne, which I love. I love a reverse fairy tale like that.
Starting point is 00:40:08 And then Sandy has, they just, there's so many random comments and observations this episode because she's like, oh, the Dalmatian coast, I love it here. It's more nature, small towns, lots of paperwork. Love this place love that so let's start with the espresso martini's bullshit the below deck trail where everybody has to order in a espresso martini okay two espresso martinis oh three
Starting point is 00:40:37 okay full and then one of the guys goes hey just do a round for everyone a fuck you sir it's like nine what are the nine of you? No, I'm not doing a round for everybody. That's a lot of espresso and a lot of Marchini making, you know? Yeah. And Katie's like, you know, when I'm dealing with the man to guess, I'm a pretty laid back kiwi, but sometimes I turned into a stress bitch.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Whatever, I'm not perfect. Um, Courtney is out your name, but one who looks like Jan Brady. You. Um, so where are my clothes? Exactly. And she goes, I was told that they need to get into the laundry. No, not the laundry. Just steamed. I need my clothes. Where are my clothes? Well, I already did put some of it in the washing machine. Nothing should mean one. Still okay. This is a mega. Mega. Mega. Mega. Mega. Mega. Mega. Mega. Mega. Mega. So uspresso martini's being made multiple, multiple andes now she goes up to is it Courtney again? She's like oh, and we're doing the dance party So I need to ask you because I have these glasses and all the stuff that we need so I'm gonna just hand this to you
Starting point is 00:41:56 Our later tonight, okay dance party remember that okay, all right I will put that I will put these in the laundry as soon as I can. No, they're blow sticks. No blow sticks should go in the laundry. So then the toys are going out, the slide is coming out and Sandy is texting with Matthew to find out you know if he's okay and he's like, it doesn't know yet you know. So then so who so now Sandy texts with like another yacht That's nearby and captain marion is gonna send over a sous chef and she's not a chef's just a sous chef
Starting point is 00:42:34 But uh, you know, I was ex you know what I was thinking Ronnie at this point Because the yacht sort of looked like it. I thought it was gonna be Someone from like the crew that came to visit Blow Deck sailing yacht. It just looked like a similar boat, right? I thought that too. Yeah, and because there was a sous chef on that crew, I was like, that would be an amazing crossover, the sous chef, but it was definitely was not anyone from Blow Deck sailing yacht. Yeah, I said, well, I have a feeling our chef's not coming back
Starting point is 00:43:06 So we've got a chef that can help in the galley, but we're gonna need to make the dinner Lexi's just eating an apple and she's staring at her like what? Yeah, well to surf in turf, okay? So someone grab seafood someone grab grab some steaks good job We're gonna do this. We are gonna do this team We just like we're fucked. We are yeah, and Sandy just pours all these oysters into a pot I'm like, I don't even know Just based on that alone. This is a failure. I don't know what she's doing with this So David is like I'm not really a pray with lobster'sers or having a father is my tati on board no just google it
Starting point is 00:43:47 just google it yeah he's like well I found a little orphan Annie no just google them separately all right you're gonna need to do lobster in Annie separately papa papa are you a lobster just google it google it okay daddy can you hear me? No. All right. Now you're on the barbers strison. Rabbit hole. Okay. Go back to lobster. Well, I found out that my father is a spider.
Starting point is 00:44:14 No, that's a daddy long legs. Totally different thing. Okay. Just get back to the lobster. And I'll see. Hi, King. You're on a musical. Google.
Starting point is 00:44:23 It's not a lobster anyway. And a little mermaid. it's a crab. Okay, go, just Google lobster. Captain Sande, huge news. Major Breakthrough, it turns out my father is a lobster. A very, very small lobster. No, that's a crawdad. Totally different.
Starting point is 00:44:38 So they're both cringing watching this video about lobsters. He's like, I'm not really a hunting type. Yeah, I should not be in here. What am I doing here? Unless I'm hunting for a father. But, yeah, they were clearly watching a video of killing lobsters by putting a knife through their head. In my mind, I'm just like, listen, that's a very visceral way to kill a lobster. And I've never, I've actually never cooked lobster.
Starting point is 00:45:06 I've never done any of those lobster stuff like with killing it. But I feel like, just put them in the pot. It's just put them in the pot. And it goes just like, it's okay. Just do it. And it'll be a lot less harrowing, except for them like scaling. Yeah, for you. Yeah, it's a lot of harrowing for you.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Well, they're gonna, it's gonna be a bad ending no matter what for the lobsters. So like, just put them in there and be done with it. Gosh. So um, do you see the captain? She just lifts your phone and goes, how do you kindly kill a lobster? How do you do it kindly? And they're like, oh no. And he has to like basically do this nice thing. And then it just cuts to this little dashboard kind of chef toy, just dancing like, hey, it's a chef having fun. And so now the arrival of Duska. Nice to meet you. Don't worry.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Duska is here to save everything. Okay, you got a problem. You all saw it. Check out the beat while Duska sort of looks along. So Duska, do you know how to do labsters? Lopsters? I try. So you don't know anything.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Do you know how to do meat? No, nothing. Meat? Meat? What is meat? Well, it's like, you know beef. Here's what I know how to cook. Drywall, okay? Let's find some good ones.
Starting point is 00:46:28 I'm Nilumof. Screw gum. No. So you don't know how to do meat? Yes, I'm Duska. No, not meat you. Meat. Duska. Duska.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Do you know how to cook anything? Duska. He's like, I just put my soul out murdering lobsters and the chef turns up and caps cook lobsters, right? When does start. Now? Now I've start. Duska.
Starting point is 00:46:56 So, I'm not sous chef, I'm assistant chef, but I sued a chef. Is that why you thought I was sous chef? Because I don't know what I'm doing. Here, here, I know what to do. And she just turns on every oven knob. And she turns on every single knob. But she's like, she actually seems so lovely. She's just smiling.
Starting point is 00:47:18 And she's just like, this is not like the return of that, what's her face. What was the Russian chef from two seasons ago who literally had a cook nothing. Yeah, this is not the return of Mela. This is like a lady who's like, well, you know, they said that if I could be assistant to chef, I said, yes, so I'm Dushka. Hey, well, try our best, you know, and she's just like smiling and happy. Yeah. So then since Matthew's not on board, Z has to take over duties of hitting his head. So he gets his head on something. And Sandy, Sandy is like, oh God, this is so not fair. And Dushka goes, life is not fair.
Starting point is 00:48:01 It's exactly what you expect D should get us out. So Katie's setting the table and she asked you to use these neon things and she's like, I come from high-end boats and I don't do tickey so neon it's my soul a bit. So I'm back to the kitchen they're trying to open oysters and captain's energy just looks like she's gonna jump off, you know. And she goes, you know, what we should do, we should try to cook it to see how that tastes. Oh, yeah. But they just steamed them, which is not really,
Starting point is 00:48:32 it's like you either grill. My understanding is you either, like grill oysters or serve them raw. And the thing is, they did, got them open, but they, it looked like they were just kind of like raw sitting on plates and I was like, you want to put ice under that, but I don't know if those were steamed already. Whatever it was, it all looked wrong. There's something about this show where when things go awry with a chef, for some reason people who are inexperienced in the kitchen
Starting point is 00:49:00 go right to the oysters. Like, let's not forget. Yeah, rock you the grenadine. Yeah. The grenadine oysters. It's like, well, I don't know how to cook Like, let's not forget. Yeah, Rocky, the grenadine. Yeah. The grenadine oysters. It's like, well, I don't know how to cook, so let's go for something that's high level oysters. Yeah. So Courtney is trying her best, you know? She's like, well, you know, I did use
Starting point is 00:49:17 to make things for the family I worked for. So here's what I'm thinking, Dishka. All right, we'll get some vegetables and we'll chop them up and we'll put them in the oven. She was, yeah, salad. Yes. Well, all right, well, I guess salad would be a good idea.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Salad, salad. Salad. Here's what we do. Take lettuce, torch nails and screws in it, salad. And so then we go down to Malia, who's joking around with Lloyd, that he looks like Mario. Yeah, if Mario can, you know,
Starting point is 00:49:52 cut people places, like Nicholas Cage, it's just like, just locked that. So then David is just like destroying these lobsters. Just killing beautiful ingredients. And the oysters are just there on their plates. Everything just looks wrong.
Starting point is 00:50:14 And Lloyd, at one point, he radio's Malia. And he's like, Malia, Malia, this is Nicholas Cage calling. Can you confirm what the evening uniforms will be? Emily is like, yep, all black in the evenings. I just got to see just like fully decked out in white. And he's like, oh, idiot. Idiot. Such a idiot.
Starting point is 00:50:34 So then Malia, this is Z. What do you do if theoretically you put your, your, your, your blacks into a waffle machine? Theoretically, what would you do then? So then it's dinner time and it looks terrifying and why isn't Malia doing the dinner because remember last year she was like um I am Tom sous chef oh exactly it's like a perfect meal and stuff so uh that was interesting. I was just like like just some basic cooking and then and and And Dushka is like making meat so Courtney goes she goes dish key
Starting point is 00:51:09 Dushka yeah, yeah, so should there be some oil in that pan and Dushka goes I don't know Here's what I try to teach wherever I go salad wherever I go, solid. Solid. Although she changes up though, because then she starts going meat. So the guests are like, ooh, and I, owing and on, because dinner is being served. And Courtney is like, I can't believe this is being served. And one of the guys is like, yeah, what's that? That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm texting about. And then they start eating it.
Starting point is 00:51:48 And Teresa's like, ah, sure, sure. Oh, what is that? So someone goes, what is that? And Courtney goes, I don't know. Poison is probably. She's like, it's disgusting. And then Teresa's being super dramatic. She's being one of those people where the food is bad,
Starting point is 00:52:09 but now she has to be dramatic about it. She goes, I can't even swallow. I can't. Yeah, they should have just had them go off the boat for dinner. That's why they're right there. They went like 20 feet from the dock or whatever. It's not like they're far away.
Starting point is 00:52:25 They just, they're just docked and gone to dinner. Or I don't understand why they just didn't order from a local restaurant and have it like ferryed out to them and then just reheated or something. Like this was just such a bizarre decision, you know? Yeah. So everybody's pissed, you know? So they start and we go down to one of the bedrooms
Starting point is 00:52:43 and like Zee and Lexian and Zee are down there. And these bedrooms look like hell, okay? Because these are the guests that just walk in, open their suitcases and throw everything everywhere. And then they're like, okay, make us the most difficult drinks we can imagine and unpack us and steam an iron ass. Yeah, they're just terrible, terrible people. And then Malia comes out to the upstairs, Malia comes out with another platter of steak
Starting point is 00:53:07 to the gestures. More steak and they go, nope, nope, we're good, we're good. She's like, okay. So they're going downstairs. One of them is feeling really sick. And the captain's like, well, Duce Kaye, you can call your boat now. She's like, solid. Good to buy.
Starting point is 00:53:23 Yeah, good to buy meat, good to buy salad. And, good by me, good by solid. I'm like, bye, thank you. And then the boat, yeah, her little, her, her like water taxi or tenders coming in. Cause I miss them. Even juice guys can traumatize by this. I've been through. I lived for 10 years in a cave as a prisoner of war in a foreign country. And even that was better than this 13 minutes in your galley. Oh, we hardly knew you so she's out. So then Let's see Lexi's like wow. Well only fans is calling. Okay. I'm just gonna go that route. Yeah
Starting point is 00:53:59 So then So these guests what, what they're struggling because on the one hand, they're attempting to be understanding about the overall situation. And on the other hand, they're also like, we paid a lot of money and this is bullshit, which is not, honestly, I mean, it is very frustrating. I actually think they have a right to be frustrated,
Starting point is 00:54:20 but then to res, you give her an inter frustration and like she'll take a mile. And so she's like, um, can you point us in Captain Sandy's direction? Because she needs to come talk to us. I'm like, well, do you want to be pointed in her direction or do you want her to come to you? Terez.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Yeah, so Lexi calls her and she's like, um, I believe they are looking for you and heads up, she doesn't look too happy, uh, heads up B. I'm way prettier than her. Okay. Have fun talking to a less pretty person than me. Okay. That was never in a pageant.
Starting point is 00:54:53 And Sandy Meanwhile is not hearing any of this because she's still standing on the dock watching Dish Go Go off into the darkness going, ah, nice lady. Nice. So the captain's like, not happy. Oh, well, okay. So she goes up to where all the guests are and she's like hi and Tera's is like um girl You know that this is not okay, right? I mean, did you chase the food because it was a
Starting point is 00:55:26 the food because it was a terrible steak, not good. Will oysters, I'm not good. All right. Below deck sailing out should be fun. Oh, I mean, below deck Mediterranean. So she's like, I mean, like, like the, and on top of everything else, like, I brought like neon things and like, you didn't have the neon party that weren't asking for today was not a good day I mean Sandy we're on a mega yeah we're not in quarantine
Starting point is 00:55:55 we're on a mega yeah oh mega yeah oha. It's a me, Maga. That's his bullshit. Is it a me, Maga, Maga, Maga? No, it's a me, Maga, Maga. And you just hear Captain go, I get it. I wear it. I get it. It's a me, Maga, Maga.
Starting point is 00:56:21 I mean, that sucks. That would definitely suck if you had that kind of food. I think, honestly, like, I would just have told them to order in food to bring it in. Or I would have honestly, I think I would have said, it's fine, I'll cook dinner for everyone because I would have actually enjoyed doing that, you know? Bad leg.
Starting point is 00:56:38 Disaster. Yeah, just sadly, should have definitely been like, listen, we don't have a chef, there's nothing we can do. I mean, it's not even safe to have people who aren't trained cook for that many people. Like you can't just have somebody hand you steamed oysters. That's just got like you can't do that. She should have been like, Hey, you know, I we don't have anyone to cook.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Would you like to go to a restaurant? Would you like me to order in? We'll find a way to make it up to you or something. But they probably can go to a restaurant or certified to just cook is probably not the best planning action there. Well, I think that sand, honestly, I feel like Sandy was trying to go for a moment. I think that Sandy was trying to have one of these moments where it's like, you know what, it was a hard time, but the team came together and we knocked it out of the park. But instead, the team just failed.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Right. I think that she was because I think the easiest thing would have been just to order food and just have it picked up or something. There were better ways. And I believe she was trying to have a reality show, you know, uplifting mentorship moment and it was not fail. It's not successful. It's a mega-y fail. It's not successful. It's a mega.
Starting point is 00:57:47 It's a mega. It's a mega. All right, everybody, well, that brings us to the end of episode one of below the mid-Azerain. Okay. We will be back next week, obviously, with episode two. The rest of this week, we've got both the housewives Beverly Hills and New York and something else.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Top Chef Season Finale. Okay, so we will see you guys next time. Thanks for being here. We love you guys. Bye. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Suboney, she don't take no baloney.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Dana C. Dana Duh. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella. Itchels. Let's rent some errands with Emily Eryns. Aaron McNickles. She don't miss no trickle-us. Alva Nagila Webber. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess saying, okay. She's always supplying its Kelly Ryan. Let's give a kiss Arino to Lisa Lino.
Starting point is 00:58:49 Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bug. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan lettuce. The Bay Area Betches Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie. Always the wiser, it's Allison Weasler! Somebody get us 10ccs of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Starting point is 00:59:11 Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily signs. We will, we will Joanna Rocklandu. My favorite Murto, Karen McMurto. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, the incredible edible Matthew sisters. No one makes us feel well like Megan Capciwell.
Starting point is 00:59:32 She's on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle. Mina Kuchikuchi. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Shannon, out of a cannon Anthony. Let's get racing with Miss Stacy. Let's take off with Tamela Plane! She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins' ad-free on Amazon Music,
Starting point is 00:59:54 download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.