Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Getting Lederhosed

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

Below Deck Med celebrates Oktoberfest with a bunch of aged frat boys and Lexi folds a lot of towels while Captain Sandy tries to decide whether or not to bring on a crutch for her. This week's bonus is a shot by shot breakdown of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City trailer. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but people are running around. Kids, what happens, what happens? So much that happens. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Corappans. The podcast for all that crap we just left a talk about. On the O'Brien.

I'm Ronnie. That's been over there. Hi, Bane. Hey, Ronnie. How are you, honey? I'm great. Excited to talk talks in below deck. Mad.

Mad. Everybody. You should go find them on his other podcast called Game Brain. Okay, it's bad board games. He's real good on it. Like he is on everything. Also, we did a bunch of other podcasts in the past couple of weeks. We were on morbid.

Go check that out. Love those ladies. I did Malsa's Mother Me a Sleep With podcast. It's a lifetime movie. And it was starring Corbin Burnson and Markey Post when it bends favorites. I know. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. Rest in power. Yeah, that's a name I have not thought about in a very long time. That's very Lisa Rina adjacent. Yes. And Markey Post is the name you think of constantly, because I know you. Yeah, that's very Ben adjacent. Yeah, and did that, and then we did something called

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Mediterranean bin. What's your point? You know, this was definitely to me a little bit more of a stretching the content episode, but you know, there were things to, it was still enjoyable. I mean, what a cliffhanger from last week, right? That Lexi left some cleaning supplies in someone's room.

Like, that was seven days I was on the edge of my seat. What was gonna happen? Well, the real cliffhanger was the text from Norma, who said, Sandy, Norma here, I just typed Mary Time Lob through her in a closet so I could get this text to you. And it says your crew has cleared quarantine. Don't don't don't. Hey, Sandy, it's Norma. Just while you know, I've had a ginger in the

hotel for way too long. We want to put it on your boat or send her back to wherever she came from. So what's she going to do? Huh? Hey, Norma, hey, Sandy is Norma here. Just want you to know that actually, his name is Luca, and he actually does live on the second floor. He's a chef that you have not let on your boat yet, but he's at a quarantine, if you need him. Okay, let me know. This was the long text, but sorry, Siri just takes it out

of me, what can I tell you? Yeah. I love Norma, question mark. So, so yeah, so now we're back with that one guest saying like, hey, by the way, Katie, just so you know, Lexi started cleaning our room earlier and then she never came back and she left all her cleaning supplies there. And there's also no towels. So could you please get that fixed? So Katie, of course, is modified. So she calls down to Lexi and's like, Hi Lexi, could you go check on that cabin and make sure those towels and no cleaning supplies in there?

Thanks so much. And Lexi's like, uh-huh. And then just goes back to ironing. Just completely ignoring her. Yeah, completely ignoring it. So then Malia checks in on math to shaft. She's like, how are you things going? And he's like, Oh my god, they loved it. They love my food. That's the start I wanted to this charter. It gives me more confidence. I thought yesterday was the best day, but it's actually today. Wow. This is the first charter where I haven't left the boat. And I feel like I'm getting

finally getting my footing There's a cheese braver hanging right behind his head and I just want him to like laugh really hard and like Jerk his head back. I'm just get caught on it. That's a little a hole Just great a scalp. I know like you don't get brownie points for like completing all days of your work You've completed one full day. Congratulations. We have an award coming for you, sir. So then Katie and Lackie are on the crew of Mass, eating lunch and Katie is eating the keys.

She's like, these guys quite a lovely cage. And Lackie's just sitting eating something else being like, fuck, keys, keys, she's on my burn list. So they're both swiping on their phones, you know, modern, modern friendship right there. And then Katie realizes it to mum's birthday, so she runs off. And she can't believe that she's so consumed that she forgot her own mother's birthday. My mother calls me her sugar plump theory and she gives me birthdays and Christmas presents at the same time every time I come home because my

Christmas is actually my birthday. So she separates it for me because she's one of fucked up and foxer that she had me on Christmas. So it's like a cute thing we do. Okay, this season needs help. I'm saying it right now. Bring whoever the hell it is on right now because now I'm having to hear about how Katie gets your damn birthday presents. Yeah, let's get Riley on here. Got it. Got it. Chris's baby. Got it. Okay, you're born in a manger. I was born in an Airbnb. Okay. Got it. So then, uh, yeah, so now there's, yeah, that that monologue about being a Christmas baby went on a little bit too long. So then there's guests on. What are, you know, their water toys and guests are sitting there in Maureen getting cocktails

and they just cut the sandy smiling so happy. She's like, beakin' a fun. Where the beakin' a fun? Oh yeah. And then the students are setting up October Fest and Matt's muttering to himself with a kitchen and about cooking German food. And then Malia shares a little bit about her experience going to October fast where she blacked out

and maybe put a cucumber in the bin and Tom yelled at her. I don't know, things wild things happen. Yeah, here's the thing that happened that I need to happen in my real life. So these guys were on these new water toys. Well, at least they're new. I don't think we've seen them on below deck. They look like kickboards, but you stand up on them and they have motors and it looks

like you're flying. They're like hoverboards in the water. I want wine. I want to know what that's like and I saw somebody on the lake this weekend do it. Well a whole group of people were doing them and I'm on this kayak because I'm trying to learn how to kayak, which that was a disaster. And so I'm like kayaking and then they kept like kind of, they weren't making circles around me personally, like I wasn't taking it personal, but they were like, they were going on

circles on these things. And it kept turning my stupid kayak around. You know, I have no arm strength. So I was like, just kept getting spun around and my whole family is all up ahead of me. And I was like, God, I'm so excited, I suck at this, I can't do it. And so I wanted those people to like fall off and drown, but at the same time I was like, I really want one of those. I really want one of those.

Basically a 1950s teen movie, right? Where you like drive, and detective only neighborhood, and then a bunch of bad guys and motorcycles circling around your car and you're like, I'm scared, mother, I'm scared. And I'd also attracted to them. Bad guys and motorcycles circle around your car and you're like I'm scared mother. I'm scared Yeah, cuz I like felt so cool even like being outside. I was like look I came out side You know I was waiting for a parade to pass by like wow you did it Rami And then I guess it's a bit menaced by by by like Standing on aboard people. I don't know.

I think for my leisure things, I don't like having to incorporate balance into my fun. You know, that's how I'm not good at skiing, I'm not good at surfing, I imagine I'm not good at hoverboarding. I want a certain degree of stability in my fun activities where I don't wanna feel like at any moment I might fall over.

And I understand that that's probably part of the thrill, but that's also really annoying. And I'm especially glad that balance like me. Yeah, I mean, I look, I'm not a graceful person, and I get it because my hobby is sitting down. I mean, you know that. That's like my favorite sport is sitting down. So for me, it's different too. I think I'm just going through midlife crisis or something. And I'm just like so boring that that's my midlife crisis. I'm like, wow, I'm gonna go on a kayak one day. And I did it. Like, what, that's me.

That's me like fucking a really young person and getting a convertible. That's my version of it. I think it's great that you went onto a kayak. And I'm sorry that those hoverboard assholes spun you around. That's not cool. No, don't worry. They filled me with dreams. I was like, wow, this is what it's like to dream again.

You're basically Rudy. You're Rudy and you just want to be put into the hover board game. Yeah. Okay. So water toys. Okay. October Fest, Mollia, backpack. Okay.

You said that. Then the captain is talking to Katie and she's like, whoa, there was castumes. Yes, Sandy, it's leaderhosen in plastic bags. I'm fucking thinking. New uniform. Yeah, it just came in from the guy who owned the boat. Everyone has to wear a leaderhosen for the rest of the season.

Of course, they're costumes. So now everyone's getting changed into their costumes, except for Lexi who's like folding an app. And I don't know, we just like pause to look at, look at Lexi folding an app. Well, they did that because they showed all the customers, like, can we have Corona? Can we have Corona?

Can we have a Bloody Mary? Can we have an espresso martini? You know, just doing their best to order a million things. And then it just cuts to her still folding that same towel. We saw 20 minutes ago. I know. I mean, I feel like I would be very happy to be in the laundry room for this charter. So Katie is just like at her with zen. She's like, oh, I don't like these people anymore because I keep asking me for shit. And then we see the downstairs, the lady who had asked the cleaning

support for the cleaning supplies be removed from her room. She just like puts them outside. Well, actually, it's not her. It's another girl goes into that room because she's in a towel or something and she puts the supplies out because Lexi still hasn't taken them out. So she puts them out out the door and goes to the room and closes the door. And meanwhile, Katie is spiraling because she hates feeling like I'm feeling at my job. You know, when you're born on Christmas and you have Christmas presents and mommy presents, it's really hard to feel like you're feeling at your job because then you don't get job presents. Yeah.

So then we see Lexi going to the main cabin finally and she sees the cleaning supplies outside the door. And she's like, why the fuck are these cleaning supplies out here? And then she just opened barges in and opens the door and the lady I guess is naked. And she's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. She has a nice ass. That's what she says afterwards.

She goes, I'm so sorry, she has a nice ass. So the woman's like, which is pretty much what I do whenever someone catches me by surprise. And so then she walks away and then we see Zia's deplating a slide. And then the lady goes upstairs after she's walked in and she goes and finds Diane. And she's like, so when I was down there, I was like showering down there, but there were no towels. So I went to your room where there were towels. And then she walks in while I was like naked. So like long story short, I just hope I have towels now.

Lady, I would care about anything you said, but you're still walking around with the fucking chat blow up doll on you. So please just be quiet. Yeah, I'm on the xyside even now. No, no, Diane was wearing the chat. This is the new, the younger girl was the one who was telling Diane who had the chat around her. Okay, well, then your friends with the lady who's still wearing the chat.

Oh, yeah, that's inherently bad. I agree. So then Matt and Katie are talking and he's like, we're doing brats and pretzels. And then after that, we're gonna do a normal dinner. And she's like, how are you so good at everything? I used to work for a very rich, powerful man. Did we ever find out who he worked for? I, my guess is Bob Kraft. I don't know. I got that into my head. And I think that because I think he said, didn't he say cook for Tom Brady or something?

So I feel like it was Bob Kraft. And he learned everything from Bob Kraft. And he's like, oh God, I hated school. My vice principal actually told me to be best if I dropped out. I'm like, probably because you were jerking off in the back of every classroom. I'm so-and-tell he just brought a bowl of keys. What'd you say? I'm so-and-tell he just brought a bowl of keys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the world your classroom. So I started, you know, you just start walking. I went all around the world. I went to be it jerked off and Vietnam jerked off in South America jerked off in Australia. Oh wait,

jerked off in Paris too. Learned a lot there. I pursued my craft my way with jerking off spludes. So then Malia is talking to Lloyd and she's like, Lloyd, we have to do October fast and I think that you should be our hype guy and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wiki, wiki, I'm going to bring my skills into this as a two-a-guard. I'm gonna take all those skills that I had as a two-a-guard and then we just seem going, he's like doing some weird act and she goes, don't be nervous, just be yourself. You were born for this. All right, Melia, here's what I need to ask you to do.

Could you give every guest a book? And that way, if I'm doing a bad job, they can throw it at my head. That way, I'll know what to do next. So then Katie is serving the guests and the main guy is like, Katie, do you ever get a break? We only see you. She's like, I'm fine. You know what they say?

You stopped you, die. And the lady's like, great. I'll have some more champagne. You know, it's like I was to ask my mother, do you ever get a break from wrapping presents for me? Because I'm on my birthday is on Christmas. Yeah, we don't care. More champagne, thanks.

Bye. So David passes Moll care. More champagne, thanks. Bye. So David passes Malin has like an awkward moment. And he's like, oh, Malin, can we do bad bones after this? I'm down to do some bad bones. So she's like, okay, weirdo. So then Alexi, he says actually, no, he actually says that he's only, he said, can we put like do something with it?

Can we like clean our uniforms? Because I'm down to just one uniform left and I'm like bare bones right now. She basically is like, he's not getting, the laundry is not getting done for the crew. That's basically what it is. Because then we cut the Lexi and the laundry being like, I don't know who shit this is. She just has like, she just folded up someone's uniform and put a sticky on it saying, do you belong to me? And then she just takes someone's socks and just throws them in the corners. Sorry, going in the sock graveyard. She's like, yeah, I mean, to be honest, like it's hard for me to focus on laundry and cabins. And if you hate something, you don't give it you're all, but I'm not going to say anything because next charter I'm on service, so I'll be fine.

Like this is not a good mentality for working. Like you're gonna, when you have a job, there's shit that you have to do that you don't like. And the whole point is that you try to prove yourself in those moments that way you get to do more and more stuff that you do like, not be like, oh, sorry. Yeah, I destroyed your dress and I just didn't clean your room because I'm not motivated to because I don't like this

opportunity. I don't think that's how jobs work. Yeah. So pretzels are baking, Broccia cooking, we're decorating for October fast. And David is sexy dancing on the, at the front of the boat. And then the Katie, Katie goes to see the chef and she's like, boy, the way sorry for being grumpy,

guess poor Katie. No, it's just like, hey, Katie, how are you doing? Right? She does the full, like, sorry for being grumpy. He's like, who not grumpy? Don't worry, I can tell you this much. Every trip is going to be hard. Like my penis.

Okay, I'm sorry I've entered to you. So now it's time to everyone's getting into their October Fest costumes and everything. And Katie again apologizes to the guests about like that room situation. And you know, everyone's dressed up and David is in leaderhose and the producer asks him, what's it feel like to be a real boy? And they kind of like do a side by side of David with Pinocchio. He's like, oh, this is quite funny. Pinocchio, you know, one thing about Pinocchio, I'm sure Malia would eat Pinocchio. How about that? That's true. Well, if I was Pinocchio, I would tell you this. Pinocchio is fine being single. He just

wants someone to travel with one day and possibly have a TV dinner with. In front of a tele, which would be lovely, but I don't need it right now. It's fine, it's fine! It needs Pinocchio as eaten by a well, at least someone cared about that little boy, enough to eat him. Um, so then we just kept to Alexi staring at her phone, because that's like every shot of Alexi. They're like, look at Alexi, folding a towel badly, or looking at her phone.

A lot of folding drama this episode, like usually drama unfolds, but in this case drama folded. It was just napkins getting folded by Lexi quietly in the corner. So then food, their pretzels and brats are delivered and the captain is talking to Katie and she's like, Katie, are we having fun? Well, like, well, it's not that I'm not having fun. I'm just not having fun fun. Mm-hmm. Now, Alexi, you doing great? Not good, actually.

Not good at all. And then we see clips of Alexi sucking and currently being on the phone. But, yes. Well, you need some help on the interior and I'm not just talking about your heart. Okay, because I got a girl in quarantine. Okay, she's a ginger and ginger's do really well on below deck. Okay, I got an extra bit. Okay. And Katie's like, well,

I'll think about it. I'll think about it a little bit. And basically, she's, the case just worried that if she brings on someone new that Lexi's going to lose her mind, that's going to be just more drama for her. Well, and this is the curse of below deck, right? Okay, you can get rid of one, but is the next, is the next stew going to be any better, you know? Right. Because especially with casting this year because it's been, you know, one of the slower seasons of below deck, except for fighting with Lexi.

So if you've got kind of a slow season anyway, you know they're gonna throw a wild card into this. It's not just gonna be like a bugsy who walks into the situation. No. Bringing the thunder! Yeah, so now it's time for October fast. And this actually looked super, super fun.

Like they had signs of beer, and Courtney was holding them. And it actually looked like a really, really fun below deck event. A lot of times, on below deck, they're charged with making a club. They always have to take some lounge and they put up streamers and they turn the lights purple and they're like, welcome to your club. This is just a lounge that you put balloons in. It does not feel like a club. It was like, this is kind of sad.

This is the first one, the first experience I feel like a club. And you're always like, this is kind of sad. But this is like the first one, the first experience I feel like I've seen where it looked super, super fun. Like I wanted to be there. Gross. Beer. Oh, I love beer. Beautiful.

Just giving you a look. I love October Fest stuff. I've never been to a lot of different places. I hate October Fest. I hate October Fest. I love. And I also hate St. Patrick's Day. It's where everyone's like,

ooh, look at all the Stringing beer. Everyone smells that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. It's like all the people who don't know how to drink come out of the woodwork and then they drink improperly and get loud and throw up everywhere. And of course there's obviously a lot of that in October fest, but I feel like October fest there's something sort of organized about the idea of being in a tent and at like long tables. Like I feel like St. Patrick's Day the vibe is standing in a bar getting wasted, but I feel like with October fest it's about sitting at a bench at a table. And I feel like you're sitting at a table it's about sitting at a bench at a table. And I feel like you're sitting at a table.

This comes back to the sitting at a table. It is the kayak to the hoverboard that is St. Patrick's Day, right? At an October fest, you sit there, there's sausages and fries that come through and pretzels, and there's umpulumpa music. It just kind of like fits my vibe a little bit more. Oh, and I'm sitting there like craving

the martiniacross the street, the hoverboard. I'm like, I should out ride you one day. My martini hoverboard. Well, I October Fest is my preferred heavy drinking holiday. Minus Monday. So ladies like, Hey, could you give me, could you surprise me with a vodka cocktail?

So Katie's like, oh, I know what to do. Make a recall smell. Courtney's like, oh my god, that's what I was thinking. Oh, do you know how to make one? No. I feel like that's the worst option right now. I feel like if someone says surprise me with a vodka cocktail, I feel like a Cosmo or like a screwdriver is just not the surprise you want, right? Don't you want something like funny and funky or interesting, not just like a super basic drink from, you know, that was popular

15 years ago. Yeah, I've a lot of things to say, a lot of hot takes on the booze consumption right now. So now it's night and the captain's checking on Courtney and captain's telling everyone, God, I love your outfits. Captain's just out and about in the wild today, seeing how everything's going. And Katie is like, well, she has like a witch's hat on. I'm going to dress up for October Fest. Look, I put on a witch's hat. Yeah, I said, I love your outfits, everyone.

And Katie is like, Courtney, do you want to switch with Lexi? Let Lexi come up a bit and see her things are going, you know, I don't want her to be a Christmas baby, then, where everyone was like, she's in a closet. She's just wondering where both of them are going. I mean, go check on her. So, so Courtney goes downstairs and she's like, Hi, Lexi, go upstairs to the sun deck.

We're going to swap out and Lexi goes, Why? Because it's fun. But I don't see one service. But she wants you up there for me. It's fun, honestly. So Lexi is doing this thing, this powder thing where it's like, well, you gave me the shitty thing.

So I'm gonna continue being the laundry martyr down here. And she says, although her logic is that she has spent all day doing laundry and then she's going to go up there and then she's going to get stuck cleaning up all the drunk people, which there is some logic to it, but I think that she ultimately just wants to be laundry martyr. Yeah, but that would have been cold, though. She was like, okay, go upstairs. And then she goes up and then she has to get stuck cleaning and everything will hurt

me. I don't think that's what they intended, but who knows. So David passes by Malia and it's kind of awkward. And he's like, we have the point where I need a steady relationship. And you know, I don't need someone like Malia. I need someone steady. The realization that I'm spooning a pillow and feeling sorry for myself because it's not a human being.

It is what it is. I wonder if I could speak to Tinkerbell about turning this pillow into a real girl. So then Courtney's like, she said no. Katie's like, well, I tried to make a happy. So then they're having a chugging contest upstairs and Z and Lloyd are going against each other while everyone cheers. I'm not sure. Non-alcoholic beers beers. They were what's the point of that? Because they're not allowed to drink. So remember they have to go ask God.

Oh, God. They would rather than be. It's okay. But that would be fucking hypocrites and get wasted. No, I was gonna say that is the difference. I thought that's what you're leading to, which is that others, they would just pour the beers and like, be like, fuck it. Like, if it were a blow, you know, if it blow'd like sailing, it would be like beers with like a shot of flaming, like, one fifty one going down into it. But this is, this is like the nicest deck, whoever they're like, well, we don't want to get into trouble and we have responsibilities.

So we're going to make sure that we have some non-alcoholic beer. In fact, could we potentially do a chucking contest with some orange juice? That would be lovely, thank you. A coutose non-alcoholic beer. Flame! You see, you can't win with me. I'm gonna judge you either way. So then Katie pulls Lexi aside for a talk about how she's feeling.

And Lexi's like, well, I'm like better, but I'm taking my time, you know, because like, I mean, I'm getting back to it, you know, I mean, tomorrow's breakfast will happen first thing. Don't worry. So, I hope we have one other thing, you know, this is other girl, and I'm feeling, you know, I think she's bringing all the pissing. I'm not really sure about it. Right. And she's and she's just like, I just want you to know that this is not me trying to replace you because, you know, I can see how that could look, you know, but I generally mean it. I like, please believe me when I say I'm not trying to replace you. I'm just trying to scare you off. Okay. Is that right with you? And like, she's like, no, don't worry about it. I'm like not offended whatsoever. Just going to tell me how

to use by your name. I just have something I need to write it down in thanks so much So she's like what is this girl gonna come in here and be like, huh? I'm second steel and I worked on the 130 meter boat. I'm not taking orders from you I mean, I don't know I just don't know and that's the nerve-wracking part like I want to be on service So if she could be our Cinderella then fine Yeah, we'll see how that happens. So now, this is more fun stuff. Lloyd is dancing with Chad, the inflatable Chad,

and Malia is talking about how she just loves her deck crew because there's no egos and no cockiness. And so then Katie goes and tells Courtney that there's gonna be a new girl on standby. And Courtney is the one who actually seems to have more of the hostile reaction to it, because basically Courtney is just afraid that she's gonna be a new girl on standby. And Courtney is the one who actually seems to have more of the hostile reaction to it because basically Courtney is just afraid that she's gonna have to move again. And she really doesn't want to have to move cabins one more time.

Well, she also doesn't want to be moved to fourth stew. Yeah. She thinks she's gonna just get, she's getting trained and now she's like, okay, now I have just one more person there standing in my way of learning how to make the ever interesting Cosmo Politan. Yeah, but also she also feels like it's annoying because you would get all of that stuff that she's fearing is because Lexi isn't doing her job and that Lexi should just be replaced and not like, they shouldn't be making accommodations and potentially creating more of a hierarchy and more of an inconvenience with changing rooms

because Lexi's incompetent. Right, so now they're having to talk about changing rooms and there's three beds in one room. So David is gonna move in with the boys, Lloyd and Z. And then the new girl is gonna move in with the girls. And so, Mollie, it's like, put Lexi with the boys. Canning. Yeah. By the way, a sure fire way to make sure that this news do does not work out is by sticking her with Matt. Wow. That's, I don't know how that's ever going to work out. Yeah. And you know, Matt's issues is being creepy. Like, you know that his issues being creepy and gross.

Why would you put him in with a woman? Yeah, I don't understand that. So now, it's not good. So now the guests are hungry and they want dinner, but it's 8 o'clock and dinner was supposed to be at 9. So you're thinking, oh, okay, you're a good. They've been setting it up. Matt's been talking about how everything's been smooth

and everything's been wonderful. But now all of a sudden, he has to move dinner up an hour. She won't be ready. What will what will Matt possibly do? So kitty calls up Matt downstairs and is like Matt She has soon. Can you be ready for dinner? He's like, oh 20 minutes. Okay, great. All right dinner day 35. I was like oh So we don't have to have drama around that that's fine too. Yeah Well, I will say this it smells like God is cooking up there. Oh, shut up alcohol now.

So then Matt's like, well, you know, plan through all these changes and God are all with it. It's such a huge compliment when they love you so much, they just want you to do your thing. And this thing is... You really read into that too much, by the way. Sorry, it's not a compliment. They just didn't want to have German food for dinner also Yeah, so his thing is lamb and rather to eat with potato gritton and they love it It look good, but it also looked way too small

I know if I had a whole afternoon of drinking even with all the sausage I would want like I I want a Fred Flintstone Rack of something okay, just have it, and I just want to think my teeth, I would be starving after that. So the guests are all yucking it up. And one of the ladies is like, oh my God, I have a tattoo. Look at this.

Hey, remember honey, we had sex in the bathroom the night we got this tattoo. And everyone's like, oh my God. So then now it's time for dessert. Do I start prulaying now? You even makes prulaying sound creepy. I'm like, stop it. You're ruining crème prulay for me.

But, oh, I know why he makes it creepy because when he asks about prulay, he goes, yes, and then you're gonna come bring up the last two. And he goes, why do I make them horny? Like, oh. Oh. How did you make it? How did you turn? How did you bring that?

How did you add such an element of creepiness and do, and otherwise, forgettable moment? It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

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You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then Molly is like, well, guys, the weather looks like it's going to pick up in the morning. And in case it does, tonight we're're gonna prep the lines in the fenders and so she goes to bed the gas go to bed and Katie makes a list of the night for Courtney who still seems kind of pissed and then we see Courtney doing all of her night duties and in the morning the captain comes in Lloyd's doing night watch and her watch and she's like oh my god Lloyd we're gonna need defenders because I'm gonna need to go into the marina because of the weather I'll hand side deck I'll hand side deck we need the hollaker head back in the dock

16 month wrong gonna die um don't worry captain I had all the guys prep everything last night so we're on it it's like wow well there's another one that's just I know it just soft I was like oh my god we're heading straight into the jaws of the monster and we docked. Okay, great. Didn't even hit the dolphins. Current is wicked. Yeah, so now we could curate. Yep, but they got it. We could current. Yeah, it's like that song by Chris Isaacs We could current, you know, it's about that. That's what's called right? So the guests wake up and Lexi who's she so okay, so she set the table and she put the

plates on the table this time which was great and the color so she really is making strides in basic breakfast concepts but then she went downstairs to laundry and then just stayed down there and so guest's wake up and she's just not there and they're wandering around and they're like the guy you know Alka Hulken now guys, like, is there a bell? I mean, even if you're his flavor town, there's a bell for crying out loud. What's going on?

And Katie wakes up and sees Lexi doing laundry. And she's like, hey, has it going? She's like, oh, it's fine. The guests aren't even up. So, I mean, who cares? So, the guy, the alcohol now guy, main guy, is giving his own, his own orange juice and he's like, God, this is so thick.

It's like a lava lamp. And then here comes Diane, everyone's waking up and Katie's like, well, hello. And he's like, well, I made my own drink. No offense. I mean, I guess I got all the pulp. So jokes on me, huh? Kind of actually, I was very happy about that. I was like, yeah, you do get all the pulp.

Enjoy that. Enjoy that pulp. So Katie is like, yeah, you do get all the pulp, enjoy that, enjoy that pulp. So Katie is like, well, it's one thing after another. It's like me at my birthday, one present after another, because it's Christmas also, and it's obviously clear to the guests that we're failing it all job. It's super unacceptable. Super. So now they're all sitting down for breakfast and David's like something smells so good and the captions like it's my swagger That's that happen. Yeah, it's my new perfume swagger. So so they are like my new scent mentor So

so Matt is making lobster's Benedict downstairs, which look delicious. And so he's making them. And then the guest is like, wow, the food has been amazing. I mean, one meal left. I wonder if he can blow it with eggs. So then you're like, okay, here comes the drama. Because if there's one thing we've seen on below deck is chefs fucking up breakfast eggs. Like it happens all the time. Like here it comes.

Matt's rodden is rodden this wave and now it's gonna come crashing down with some terrible lobster Benedict's and oh no that they they went out perfectly and everyone likes them. Okay. That's not the shit. Best thing they ever had, buddy. And by the way my favorite part about this is the girl who got walked in on. They show her eating the X Benedict and she literally holds her fork like a caveman. Like I was like, I did not, I don't know. You know when people make fun of cavemen eating, right, when people hold their

forks like cavemen, you think like, okay, it's a funny joke, but like we know and know I can actually hold their fork like that because it's really hard to get food into your mouth because you're holding it in such a strange way. She was holding it like that. I was like, that makes sense with this group that they are literally holding their fork like cavemen. Yeah, this group. Oh my God. He's like, Hey, we're doing a shot of what? Yeah, we love drinking. And the wife is like, Oh, yeah, here's to a good week in France. God, they're

just terrorizing the entire world. I see London, I see France, I see lobster's Benedict in your pants. So, okay, so now everyone's packing and everyone gets into whites and some of the like Z and some of the others like take a photo with Chad. And now they all line up and I am like, hold on a second, I still got Chad around me and I got to get him out of the way so I can hug you guys. Guys, it was so fun. Me and Chad both loved it. We had a wonderful time.

I'm going to make this Chad joke work. It's been three days, but I think it's going to land soon. It's going to work. It's going to work. And then alcohol now, well, Captain Sandy, this was our second time, as you know, and it turned out great. But being business owners, we figured that you'd want to know the experience we've had to improve upon. So I had a little lack of attention. I had to make my own drink this morning, which was just, I mean embarrassing. And Katie's like,

Oh, I'm leaving wrong. Yeah. By the way, I want to point out that on the last charter, remember Athena and her gang, and they, when they left, bunch of them were wearing these red checkered shirts, and were like, why are they wearing red checkered shirts like what are they trying to do this is stupid why are wearing that

the Croatian flag their way in Croatian shirts now for stupid uh... yeah just reinforcing that uh... so that trick is like you know i don't want to be negative but hey listen on the positive side your saving grace is that uh... pasty guy who looks like thatboy masturbating under his jeans over there. Matthew, Matthew, that crew you guys were bad ass too. And the only problem was basically,

I just couldn't find anyone. I mean, it was basically like Christmas in a restaurant. Like no service anywhere, am I right? Don't I know, never had a birthday dinner outside the home. So then, so that Lexi says afterwards, after they leave, they get the tip and Captain Sandy does the whole thing. Whoa, this is heavy.

Oh wow, heavy tip. Look, I pantomime to being so heavy, I almost dropped it, don't worry, I had it. It's a good life lesson, you know? A lot of times you don't think you have it, and you do. That was a captain Sandy, okay? That was a Mentorism right there, okay?

Good, bye guys, bye. So Matt Tells Courtney, that's why you should be morning girl, which is kind of got a point. So then Katie is telling Lexi how they were up this morning after all. And she's like, I mean, come on. You know, to be pinpointed that your department is failing and it comes down to one person, you know,

Sandy will think I'm an idiot if I do an accept help now. So she goes to the captain and she's like, well, my gut says no, but if we're paying for her anyway, then we might as well draw, you know, we four days to maybe try it out. And then if there's anything wrong, whatever you mean, I'm saying to the girl that I've completely ignored lately about everything that she's been telling me about her stew can't do her job. Anything you need. Allowing Katie to make that decision is about letting her know I believe in her. Well, maybe we should just get rid of Lexi.

Or maybe we could get new sodas. How about that more sodas? God, I love listening. I love showing how much I believe in her choices. So tip-meeting. Well, we're midseason and we've had our first complaint and I'd like to call that complaint constructive because he highlighted things to improve on. Okay, which is why I'm adding someone. She's a deck, she's a deck stew, but you know she's going to come and do interior. Now this is not to replace, but to support. So we're getting someone who's good with them up to basically learn how to make Cosmopolitan. Oh gosh, why the Cosmopolitan? Sleep matured the lamb. Where's Corey

Sapping? Yeah. So David's gonna be moving in with the guys and he I feel like and I hope we're getting the kernel of a new issue on the boat, because he goes, well, you know, be lovely to be in the guys. I get to chat with the guys a little bit more, have some chat with the lads, but you know, I like to keep my space a little bit clean, and it might jibon me a little bit if there's chaos in there. So I'm like, oh, please let David quietly stew away about the chaos, but never quite say anything until he gets really wasted and starts spinning around in circles.

We're like, guys, can we talk about the mess in the room? Can we clean it up a little bit? No. Okay, good chat, guys, good chat. Yeah, so the captain says, Matt, I've heard nothing but good things about your food. You know, and listen, this is even though another department messeded up and we're not gonna dwell on that her name rhymes with meady Can't start to the gay she sucks, but everybody else we got 23,500 meady five dollars Wow, this is like Chris Miss in July or is that like to call it a Day where people's birthday is get overshadowed in July. Am I right, everyone? Okay, guys, go get him. Um, so Matt starts to leave and I'm like, Matt, where you going? And he's like, I've

got into some dishes. And Courtney's like, come on, we've all got dishes. And then basically they're talking about moving cabins again. And we'll leave. He goes, yeah, I think that that's going to work. I mean, she'll be fine with Matt. She'll be fine. And, you know, she hasn't met him yet. So she'll be fine with it. Yeah.

You know, you know, we'll just tell her there's only co-ed cabins available. And since she doesn't know Matt, she'll be fine with it. So then, hey, time for a preference sheet meeting already. Wow. Can you believe it? So guess what? Our new primary is former ambassador, Nikki Haley. Oh, I'm sorry, Nikki and Haley are the primaries.

And it's all girls. And here we go. Here are the list of people coming. Crystal, Sarah, Ashley, Andrea, Bailey, who's an influencer, Danielle, who's not influencer, but is annoying like one. Who else is on here? Chiki, Hanna, Hubu, C.C.

Jennifer, Elbow. You know, I've never heard of a girl named Elbow, but you know, leave it to this group. Okay, they have a fun day. Helene, Georgia. Ellie Georgia Little Nikki Nikki eats like a five-year-old she wants bacon and bacon and bacon Unfortunately elbow does not she's to god dairy. Yeah, she's gluten free. She's dairy free She's keto. Oh god. This most be mu- might be our most difficult dietary restrictions ever not my favorites Not my favorites. Not my favorites.

Oh, man, which one am I going to jerk off to? I mean, Elbow's hotter. But Nikki has better dietary preferences. This is going to be a real tough one. So Molly is like, oh, god, great. Beach pick, Mack. OK, guys, thanks for your positive attitudes. Let's get going. So then Lexi is talking

to Z and she's like, I don't know, I don't know why they're just talking, they're just like talking in like the crew mess and they're just, I guess she's saying something about doing a shot or whatever and I think what's the space, Lloyd says something like less sass this time or whatever. They just all start cracking up at her and about being so crazy last time. They're just sort of having a crew bonding moment and we get cleaning and then Malia and Courtney

are doing yoga and Courtney is sort of complaining about how she's constantly having to correct all of Lexi's work and she's just like worried that the new girls who come in as a second stew and just cause more drama, etc. Yeah. And Mollie is like, you know, some people can just rock it and kill it. And Gordon is like, well, I'm just worried she thinks she's coming in a second.

And they're doing it. They're supposed to be doing yoga, but they're just lying down drinking wine. They're like wine. They're like, they literally have wine, like, experiencing wellness. Yeah. So David gets in the hot tub with Z and Lloyd. And then Lexi comes over and she's like, oh, I'm going to get in the hot tub with Z and Lloyd. And then Lexi comes over and she's like,. Yeah. So now David gets in the hot tub with Z and Lloyd. And then Lexi comes over and she's like, um, hi boys, just watching you guys. You know what? I'm going to come in with you.

I'll be right back boys. And they're like, Oh, no, oh no. And they all have like PTSD from when she was last there. And, um, so what do they do? Cause they, you know, deck hands, deck hands are so mean and they're such, such a boys club. You know that there's going to be so like so nasty and click a skewer and she gets in the pool and they're like, oh, I like see. Oh, it's a lovely good joy. I like see. She gets lovely. She's like, this is so nice. We should have a movie

playing and she's like, I'd love to see Harry Potter. She goes, oh, yeah, I was not allowed to watch that because like, that's witchcraft and it's against my religion. So. Lloyd's like, oh, so you're living that Muggle lifestyle. She's like, what's that? A lady who has no magic in their life. They all start cracking up. Now that is Lloyd's version of bullying.

Like that's bullying Lloyd style to call someone a muggle. Yeah. So now Katie finally facetimes her mom. This is I guess her her dramatic arc of the episode is when when will she ever got through to mom? She's like, Hi mom, I was just trying to face Tom, you did wish you happy birthday. Like, oh, that's all right, Katie. And so concludes the arc of Katie trying to reach her mom. Yeah, so everyone else has fun in the hot tub and then they go to bed. And the way it's like, well, we locked this Lexi and she says, okay, great. So I love the boys club. And David tells us she wants to be part of something.

You know, I've been at the point where I felt worthless. I lost two friends and then he tells us this horrible sad story. Do we already know this? No, it just like, I don't know where he's like, by the way, my two friends died on a car accident and I have survivor skills. And so when I see someone who's hurting, I just wanna help them because helping them helps me.

I was like, what? But someone else had that kind of story too, right? Where somebody's friend or friends died in a terrible accident like right before they came on the boat. Didn't that just happen? Well, there was Madison from season one of Below Deck, whose sister was murdered in her car and Detroit at a traffic stop,

about nine months beforehand or so. Oh my gosh. Like a drug deal, remember there was like a drug deal that went wrong? And you know, below deck is always good about finding people who have horrific tragedy in their lives, unfortunately, for them. Yeah, so that was really sad. So then in the morning, Matt's getting ready and Katie is talking to

Courtney and telling her that she's going to be training the new girl. And then Z has to like put on a harness to be on the side of the boat to clean the windows. This is my friend. That's from the outside of the boat. He is so adorable. And like just seeing him in the little harness, having to scamper across the side of the boat. And like he has a fear of heights. So he goes, you know, my dad told me that he fits my fears when I was quite young. And I was scared of birds and feathers. And my dad said, you know, my dad used to make it over the garden and bring me back a feather

to give me and give me money for that. So that's how we get over my fear of feathers and birds and everything. I've heard of people being afraid of birds, but I've never heard of people being afraid of feathers, which is, I want to make fun of it, but Z is so cute. I feel bad that he was terrorized by feathers as a child. I'm just imagining a little baby Z, just seeing feathers and just freaking out. Hey, dun dun dun dun dun dun. Norma, it's me, Sandy.

Oh, he's Sandy. It's Norma. Hey, Norma, Sandy. Yes, Norma. Okay. Bring her out of quarantine, Norma. Don't. Don't. He's just cool.

It's like Jurassic Park when they lived up the thing and the velociraptor goes running out into the cage, right? So Z is still in the harness just Stumbling around and trying to clean things and then Katie sits down with Lexi and she's like well You know the thing is it seems more like laziness with you more than anything and whether or not it is That's how it comes across to me and you've been a stuit for, I don't know how long and it's just, it's not acceptable. And you're not, you're not up to second stew. And that's, and now that we do have an extra hand, it's no excuse. So I think I'm just not gonna have ranks anymore. And yeah, I don't know how this is gonna go down,

but should be all right. So. And she's so nervous. She's like ringing her hands while she's doing this. Like this took so much for her to come and say you're lazy to Lexi. And she was. And Lexi's just like, Oh, okay, totally agree. Great. Sounds great. Yeah, she's too nervous to demote Lexi. So instead she just abolishing all the rankings altogether.

And now it's going to be pure chaos. That's what we know. Yeah. So then we see a lady walking down the deck and Katie's breathing hard. She's like, I don't know how this is gonna go. And like she's like, I totally understand. Don't worry. And then we just hear, uh, Jill's there and just come down, boy. Jill's there. Now this episode board the fuck out of me, not going to lie. But then we got a later this season or coming up this season and it looks really good. Yeah. And

there's like it and the trailer ends with like David taking this crazy fall out of the hot tub like so horrific. And then also the chef catches himself on fire. And on top of that, Luca comes on board. We don't see a lot of the new girl in the trailer and that may be by design. They may want to try to like keep us guessing about whether or not she'll be a permanent fixture. But based on the trailer, it looks like she won't be. But I like how they're trying to create drama around the fact like, what are we going to do? This could be a terrible thing having another person helping us on this group. Like there's no way there's any downside to this. I'm sorry. They need another hand in there because Lexi's not doing shit.

So I don't see how there'll be that there's gonna be a problem. I think I think we'll be good. I think if anything, the girl's probably gonna want to leave after she's after she sees the shit show that is the interior. Yeah, because they did show one clip of her and she's like, well, when minute, I'm the captain of a boat and now I'm doing laundry. Okay. Yeah. She's like, I went to Berkeley. I have my captain's license and now I'm doing laundry. Great. So I think she's going to quit. Yeah, we'll tell. We'll be back next week to find out. In the meantime, tomorrow's Beverly Hills. Then it's New York after that. Go check out our bonuses.

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