Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Honay Byes

Episode Date: August 18, 2020

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I'm Ronnie, and this being over there, hello, bin homie. Hey, just real quickly, do you have a prescription that you logged to talk the crap? Because we're going to need that if we're going to proceed. I brought you a prescription. It's from Dr. Suckma Dick. And it's what I can do whatever the fuck I want.

So Maritime Law means that we are legally obliged to tell you guys that you're listening to a podcast that's all about all that crap on Bravo that we just love. Yeah. Hey guys, welcome to Blow Deck Med Day. Welcome to below deck, meaty, teret, neen, the final honey, the final honey, big, big final honey today. This is a big episode. There's a lot to discuss. It was a lot, a lot.

For such a dramatic, serious episode, I was also laughing quite a bit. I was like cracking up on this episode mainly because of Tom because watching him lose his shit is like a gift that I didn't realize that we even deserved. Well, this was a huge gift. Tom just being a complete jack, you know, like a complete jackass basically like a mini jackass, you know

Yeah, it's so perfect It is a gift from the gods, you know, it's like one honey exits and then a crazy honey enters I don't think he's gonna stay with us very long because when I showed the Coming up this season on do your food, it looked like there was another chef in the galley. They only showed us back, but it looked like it was another chef. Oh, good, because this guy, what a wanker. And then to have Captain Sandy lose her shit at him was so fucking funny in the previews for next week. We know for coming up this season or whatever. Yeah, it's gonna be great.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited for the time that we will happen. Tom, this is a full housewife season. We're getting of below deck. Med, I mean, they said eight more episodes. This is 12. So they're going to 20, which is just nuts. That's like a full on housewives of Atlanta season.

I like I laughed at that trailer when they said only eight episodes left. I'm like eight episodes. That's a full season for some of these shows. I know. It's like a full season of the sailing one. I think look, it's like we're in a pandemic. We got to make these episodes stretched Bravo needs its content. Yeah.

And stretch the wheel. So let's see. Where do we start? Previously, Hannah stayed straight into the camera. Very let's see, where do we start? Previously, Hannah stayed straight into the camera very upset when she found that button. So it's coming back on board. Previously, Hannah was on the worst chatter of her life. Was charter season of her life.

Everything was going wrong. Yes, and then we see the panic attack. And Malia saying, is that a prescription, which now says, isn't that a prescription Which I'm not sure if it originally said that or if it just says that now But I noticed that that was different than something I know I didn't notice that before in other words And then you hired me and Tom as a team fucking man up and share a cabin now I have to say well, I think we should probably address a lot of the online stuff that's been going on this week.

It's been Mayhem out there for cast members of the show. It has been just Mayhem and it has been hilarious as a viewer. All right. All right. Yeah. Maria just comes out with pages and pages and I am following Maritime law, Amy, and here is what.

She goes off on these huge like I'm a fucking hero, um, Rance and Raves and then has to turn off for comments because literally 99.9 of them are like, fuck you. I feel like Maritime Law is like a new character on this show. It's Mary Time Law, because she gets invoked so many times. I'm like, if I have to hear about Maritime Law one more time,

well, it's Maritime Law that you can only have Rhybred after 2 p.m. Look, it's right there in the charter. This is right there in the food room or whatever. It's up in the laundry room. I write it down the board. It's posted on the back corner of the laundry room, no Rhybred before 2 p.m. Maritime Law.

So Malia has been trying to save face, not working, America hates her ass. Then she went on to watch what happens live with Bugsie. I didn't watch it, but people were saying that Bugsie seemed really uncomfortable. And Malia came off as just the same, basically, like not apologizing. In any way, which I guess we'll get to

whether she should or not. And then Pete, who's been cut out of the show. The unit posted on his Instagram. A big thing basically saying, oh really, but it's fine to do Coke on the weekends. You know, we'll you would come back after doing so much Coke. It was straight to a little boasting brain. I guess that's okay. And then she came back with,

oh, so now I have a coke problem that I don't know about. I'm sure. Yeah. Pete, you're not welcoming this argument, okay? Like, we don't need your contributions. I don't think, I don't necessarily believe him when he says that she was doing eight balls in New York.

I just don't believe it straight up. And he's like, I never should have believed his Hollywood weirdos, which is like a dog whistle. And he's saying all this stuff about like, oh, but shouldn't fucking bravo this fuckers the hot weird dog out my go, okay, you know what, you can take your racist means and go to shut up, not even go to shut up mountain, go to like shut up cliff and fall off it, you know, like a knob. You don't really have a place on a mountain. Yeah, you do not deserve a space on that mountain. That mountain is for people who are terrible, but at least give us entertainment value.

Yeah, I have no problem believing that she does coke on the weekends, because guess what? It's 2020 and a lot of people do coke on the weekends. Welcome to the world, everybody. Welcome to the world. So stop clutching your fucking barrels and I don't have a problem She was doing coke on the weekend or getting drunk on the weekend because it's weekend If she's off the she's off the clock, you know, I'm not gonna cook shame what someone now coke ask yes I will coke ask somebody but Coach aim them. I will not do that But you also mentioned that Hannah did she did give her royal pardon to Bugsy.

She posted on something, because again, it's been like a whirlwind of social media posts and she's like, all right, honours, I just want to say that Bugsy's been dragged into this and she has nothing to do with this situation. And I say that not to exonerate her, but more so I don't have to see her stupid face in my timeline anymore. Honours. Oh, no. to exonerate her but more so I don't have to see her stupid face in my time line anymore. HOT-OI! Oh, no! Um, then Captain Sandy had to do a question and answer session on Instagram Live where

she said, guys, come join me on old Instagram Live. Sometimes we get real angry and guess what? Anger can be that us. It can hurt us. So come on, ask me anything you want. I'll talk about whatever you want. And then, you know, didn't write off like a paper or something. That went on. I mean, it's just been a cluster fuck of a week for this cast.

Yeah, a huge, huge cluster fuck. And here we are. So now we get to finally see how this all plays out. So we, we sort of get to, we're in a scene we know is very serious, because Captain Sandy is talking like this. Oh, hey Can I have a seat have a seat Hannah? Perfect timing. Oh my god. Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Oh, I'm so excited to tell you something Um You're fired

There's that. Oh, and yes, this is my sheet. Thank you for giving me this comfort or back. Yes, it was yeah So it's been brought to my attention Any Leibowitz has sent me a very artistic picture of Drugs your drugs. Yeah, split out on the kitchen counter on a bathroom counter Okay, is this is this now tell me are these your drugs? It looks like a kitchen oil into me. Oh, I'm sorry. That is my Pinterest page from the kitchen when I get off. Let me swipe here a little bit. What about this one here? That's a Melissa Etheridge CD album. Oh, geez. Oh, they want a stealer. That one's a stealer. Oh, gosh. You know what? It's the Broncos games. The Broncos and the Steelers game. Got me. All right, what about this?

Oh, this. Here we go, drugs. Oh, that one is one of those singing basses that you put on your wall. Oh, oh yeah. God, I love that bass. I love that bass. I love that bass.

Yeah. I don't know what about this one. What about this one? That's a little baby, Dristler, Crabbage. Damn, and Gettys. You know, I'm telling you, the photographer just won't stop sending me pictures, Anna. All right. It's very confusing. All right. Okay. So the point is this, you have hardcore drugs on board. Okay. And it's like, my video, you. And pot, and pot, pot, pot. and you haven't presented prescriptions for them, Hannah. They're

very carefully and artfully laid out in this picture next to what we go burger in a bathtub of milk. Okay. Listen, Hannah. Okay. I just need some sort of prescription, something that says when feeling anxiety, I need 10 C C's of hugs. Okay. Because guess what? The doctor is in. All right. Come on in. 10-C's of hugs. Okay, because guess what, the doctor is in. All right, come on in, 10 C-C's of hugs right here, right here, come on. And Hannah's like, they smoke bag from LA, which is the funniest response.

Of course, I just came from LA, they put that in your bag at the airport, okay? Yeah, it's like a parting gift, you know? LA, I was like, hey, don't blame us. Oh, you actually can. That's actually a pretty good excuse. Yeah, we're like, thanks for coming to LA. Don't forget your party bag of Valuement Pot.

Okay. All right, we got some Valuement Pot or you can choose the one that has some cocaine and some CBD lotion, which one would you like? We also have a green juice option that comes with some, you know, Molly. Hey, let me finish. This is serious.

Management is involved. You stand over there like the guy from the, like the girl from the bling witch project. Just face in the wall and refusing to look at us. Look at him over there. Chris, don't turn around Chris. All right, just like Ace of Base, you know, our former charter guest said, don't turn around. Because I don't want you to see Hannah's heart breaking. Don't turn around.

Gotta picture a volume. All right, I have to do a disciplinary action and we're gonna go through this by the book, okay? Because the rules are listed in the laundry room, as I said, in whisper voice before. Now you need a prescription. And I can't go with you. By the way, when she said, the violations are posted in the laundry room

It costs the laundry room to be like look there is in fact the laundry room I'm like yes, we know what the laundry room is. Thank you. Yeah. I really like their detective stories on this They kept doing they kept doing like look and it's in black and white but with a spot light so you can see Thank you what we're talking about. Uhhh... So... You need a prescription, and I can't go to a sea where someone do it and drugs. So what I would like for you to do is get your volume and your pat and bring them in here.

Okay, um, like, yes, hamming event says later in the episode. Oh, it's my bad for not reporting the drugs. Um, but let's stop acting. They make it sound like Hannah had fucking heroin on this shit. It's five milligrams of viking him. That's a nothing and a CBD prop in which doesn't even get you eye. And unless we didn't see it, I doubt that we wouldn't have seen it. Maybe Sandy at the top of the charter season, you make an announcement, Hey, if you're on any prescriptions, I don't care what it is or whatever you have, you have to log it with me. Otherwise, I'm have to keep you off the boat. Like, how about you just say that instead of just like having some, some byline that's posted behind the mound of uniforms that Jess has left in the laundry room for people to to see, you know, like, where's that?

We know that we know that Hannah couldn't produce her prescription as we see in a little in a little bit, but the box had a prescription on it. There's close ups of the picture. You can see them all over the internet. So they were prescribed. So this whole thing, this whole thing just gets, it gets crazy. Okay. So she's like, let's do it by the book. Okay. You need a prescription. Could you bring that right now? Because I just can't ignore this. I'm going to sit here and think her pose until you come back.

Don't turn around Chris. Do not turn around. It's not safe yet. We're not decent emotionally. Okay. Keep standing there. Now Hannah does not do herself any favors And she goes well just so you know all I've not taken one William since I got in the world and then of course Three days ago it's like an extended sequence of silence as we watch Hannah like take the volume box Which they highlight and like open it and bring it into the bathroom like they like She took one she took one. She took one. Yeah, with a spotlight following her to the bathroom. Don't don't. But yeah, she's not even trying to hide it. Like she doesn't close the door, you know, like she practically holds everything right up in front of the camera.

Right. So then just, you know, just a little scene of Jess like, Hey, bugs are tossed on the VIP. And then Hannah's like, doing her nervous ponytail flip, she walks into a room, and then Captains back in her office, like, you know, the fact that the marijuana pen is on board, and Chris is facing the wall, is like, that's illegal. Like, yeah, should I be in the room with her? Do you think she's flesh and everything? God damn it.

Oh, shit. Oh, God. Fuck me. Fuck me. I'm sitting here looking at my new kitchen island and not realizing that Hannah could be, could be flushing that pot pan down the toilet. And we all know that if a pot pan gets caught in a pipe

on a boat, maritime law says there is nothing you can do. You must destroy the boat. Oh, God. Hannah. And she opens the bathroom door and Hannah's like got her zipper down and her pants almost down. So can't all go to the bathroom.

Well, look, you there. I'm seeing hide your little friends car face. Okay. Give me your drugs. Give me your drugs. Okay. All right. I want every single bag of cocaine and pot pans. You have back there. All right. Give me the drugs. This is all you have. You don't have a letter. Where's your letter? Where is your letter? So can I pay? Yeah, but I just want to go through this because I need to do it very quickly. We have a

Charter that starts. Give me my drugs. So then Sandy goes back to her office and she's like, well, David, Hannah has no prescription. He's like, that's admitting guilt. Like, no, it means that she doesn't know where there's one little piece of paper is at this moment because she's probably a little flustered. She's clearly so flustered by this whole situation

that she'd forgotten the paper that prescription was attached to the box itself. Yeah, so then we see Tom cooking and he's like, we're on preparing for an awesome first day. I think, wow, I'll get to work on this awesome boat with this awesome crew. This is actually happening. I'm so very happy right now. This is the best thing that could have happened in the world and there's a wonderful first day for me, Tom. I'm totally prepared and looking forward to a little good time. Nothing will ruin this wonderful first time!

I'm just gonna put these chips in the smokers, everything's going to plan, and as we all know, life is made of plans. And follow all the plans, don't we? Don't we, mother? Thankfully I've only got two potatoes, because that's all all me! The plan is working perfectly, and things can never go awry on a perfectly planned ship. So then Captain and Hannah are talking again, and they're literally using like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like jaws, those jaws sound, the jaws soundtrack. And Hannah's like, all right, well, what do I do? She's well at this point,

Hannah, with everything that's been going on with you, hyper ventilating on the floor at 5 a.m. with Malia. Oh, god, you're gonna have a lot of fun this week with anybody who's ever had any kind of anxiety issues. Yeah. So now what, no one with any kind of mental issues can work ever. Exactly. But listen, Hannah, right now I can't go to see with you, but where I can go with you, state ambassadors, I got a card. I'm really close to closing in on one of those like fake Nintendo things But it's really a plushy. Yeah, plush Nintendo so we can go we can play ski ball But I just can't go to see with you. That's all maritime law and Hannah just starts to get up and she goes can I finish?

I have compassion for you, but at this point, I'm just going to finish. Okay, so you're just still firing her, you know? Like, why do you have to finish? She's like, it's not worth it to me. I'm a captain. I worked hard for my license and I just can't take that risk. And Hannah's like, okay, honey, I'm yawning in your face. Honey, that was a honey yon.

Yeah, and she also gives like a good little like honey flare because that, Hannah stands up again. And when she stands up, like, she gives like a little like, like, that's like the, her eyes today, I've stood up in, honey. That's what you see it. I just honey when I stood up, don't think that me yawning right now in your face doesn't mean you're not also going to get blazing.

Can I have my belly valium plays thank you. I love that can I am my valium please So then she works out of the room she goes oh I also like during this Hannah had her phone out and there was some sort of image on it And I couldn't tell if it was like an image of like a dog or a bathtub, but I just like that that image was out. She's like, well, you may be trying to find me, but I had the picture of a bathtub right here ready for you to look at. So there how about that? I'm not sure what Sandy is doing here when she's saying, well, I can't have you when you're just having nervous breakpins on the floor and blah blah. She ha- this is not a new storyline for Hannah. Hannah had this problem last year. So if it's so dangerous, then how could you go to see with her this year? I don't know. It's just it's shade. There's a lot of shade here.

So then we go to commercial and then we come back and we have to see most of it again. You know, I've worked hard for my license. Oh, I eyes. Can I have my million, please? Ugh. And then Captain does think her pose again. So then Hannah, like, walks out and so she's walking through the galley and Tom is like, you, how is it going? Welcome to my perfectly planned out galley. Everything is going just right. Nothing could go wrong. As long as I have a first, you a second, two, and a third, stew due on this on this trip, how are you there?

Not talking sorry, sorry new going on I. Well that wasn't part of what I was expecting, I thought I would have a first due who'd communicate with me and no no everything's fine everything's fine I'll just go back to plating this I'm a little shaky now this is weird weird weird so Hannah asked Rob to grab her suitcase for her and he's like not a worry and I'll just go back to painting this. I'm in a little shaky now. This is weird, it's weird. So Hannah asked Rob to grab her suitcase for her and he's like, not a worry. I'm so sad.

And then just like, we're gonna throw this one. Go! So Hannah, yeah, she walks off the boat and Sandy is pacing around and she's like, you know, it's very hard to have to let someone go that you care about. It's like my nephew, when I told him, you're not cut out for this industry or really any industry, you should probably just live in your mom's basement and have her feed you

Campbell soup because you're not going anywhere. God, that was so hard for me to say. However, this is maritime law. Number one in maritime law, do your food. Number two in maritime law, maps. Number three hugs. Number four, no tolerance, all right? Everyone has to be drug free in maritime law.

When you're on an airplane, your flight attendants are responsible for the guests. If something catastrophic happens, the chiefs do has to gather the guests and keep them calm. Yeah. Not a lot of people realize realize this but maritime law also extends to planes Yeah, what happens if the plane lands in the water maritime law kicks in that air time law But you know what it's just missing an M so there you know is something where that if something catastrophic Where to happen and Hannah's sitting there with a value of weed needle sticking out of her arm? I'd be in jail. The boat would be incarcerated, which is also jail. And I would lose my license. They probably even put my license in its own license and incarcerated jail, okay?

What Hannah has done is illegal. Little known fact, when you wind up in maritime jail, they give you two options. Send your chef to the circus or send your boason, send your boason off to a small country whose main product that they produce necklaces. So it was a very difficult decision for me. You know, I knew a boat once that was incarcerated and the only positive thing to come out of it was a musical Chicago You know a bunch of boats up there dancing about how they had it coming Unfortunately, it was really difficult to fit all those boats on stage and they changed it to humans

Yeah, so now I just sorry for boats. Yeah, you speak all the yacht block tango Yeah, but they had to change it. It's also hard for the singers to say that block over and over again So Hannah is calling Josh on on land, she's calling them on land. She's like, Oh, you know what? I'm not Mike, but I have a camera on me. Well, she's like, Oh, I heard you had an anxiety attack and it's too dangerous to go back to say, are you following me cameras? We can go up and down all day boys. She said she had value. She said, draw a grade. She's the worst person in the world. You know, the whole season, I've been so over it anyway. It's utter bullshit.

Yeah. So Sandy comes down on the on to the dock. And she's like, listen, Hannah, my hands are tied legally. This boat, this boat has a future. It can't go to jail. Okay. The yacht, the prison pipeline is a real thing. Okay. And we cannot have that, okay? My hands are tied, maritime lure.

Yeah, she says, my hands are tied legally, but they personally don't want to drive out to see with the way you've been lately hyperventilating. She's like, I hate one anxiety you take, and you know I hate it. And Sande is really messing up here. I don't know that she's just admitting that she doesn't want to work with somebody.

Well, I mean, you have actual medical issues. You fucking like you can't you can't blame the person for having like a mental health issue and then also blame them for taking the medication that helps them deal with it. I guess maybe Sandy is saying like, look, when you're on charter, you can't even be taking these medications and if you can't be taking these medications, then you are risk for me because of your mental health issues. But that also does not seem to be, that cannot be right.

It cannot be right. Like, well, I don't understand why it's a situation where you can't say, hey, you can't have zero tolerance. So we're registering your drugs right now. Why can't you say we're registering your drug? And now if you have issues, you have to come to me. Like I don't understand why is there a conflict

with you in that? Exactly. If you have a box with a prescription on the back, let's register it so that we can make sure that that's registered. You should have come to me instead of being like, oh, you're're fired. I mean we've seen on below deck many people taking drugs So I'm not sure we saw Kevin last season when he had his hurt back and he had to go He's like go get me my box of drug or go get me my bag of pills or whatever. Yeah

So I don't really know I'm not sure it I just think it seems. If Sandy is, whatever Sandy is trying to convey, it's regardless of what she's trying to convey, what is coming across us as the viewers is that she's almost firing Hannah for mental health issues, which is, you know, we've come a long way in understanding mental health and not demonizing it and not, you know, not making people who have mental health issues feel like they're pariahs or like lesser than because it happens to, by the way, everyone, everyone has mental health issues, just how everyone has, like, you know, physical health issues. So, you know, I mean, I don't believe it or not, I, I mean, I don't, believe it or not,

I actually don't, I don't, I don't want to think that Sandy is doing that intentionally, but she should know that what she is doing, she is doing it, and she really should have, she should really revise her behavior because it's not right. Yeah, she looks like a total dick. So, um, captain's like, well, Hannah,

I don't want to get into it. Now she starts getting mad. Like, what did you was going to happen? Okay, you've already fired her. She went off the boat calmly and didn't throw a fucking fit about it, which you were not looking, you know, you weren't expecting, you know, I'm sure you wanted some big dramatic, some big dramatic exit that could make you look like the victim, but you didn't get it. So now she's following her out on to land to get another scene out of her. And Hannah's still staying calm. And she's like, you know, Hannah, you had drugs on both. Okay. And if I go out to see, I'm negligent. And Hannah's like, okay, she was

but I just can't just will it's out of bullshit, which like she finally starts to get her, right? So Hannah's like, well, it's out of bullshit. That's what it is. And she goes, oh, okay, if that's how you want to be, what is she doing? Stop firing her around. Yeah, it's fired her. It's like she's trying to poke her into, she's trying to make her look stupid

and poke her into having a big scene. You know, and it's so obvious. No, I don't think that she's trying to make her look stupid. I think that Sandy's probably one of those people that as much as she says, I'm a professional whatever, she doesn't want someone to be hurt. But sometimes like when these things happen, you have to just like lay off a given their space because when you're attempt to try to like make things nice and give a hug, you're actually making things 10 times worse.

Yeah, I think she's wanted Hannah gone for a long time and the producers wouldn't let her go. Now she's like finally found her thing, and now she's trying to get a hug out of it. Like, you don't get to have it both ways, you know? Just fire her. And so she's like, she goes, I care about Johanna, which is hilarious, and Hannah laughs in her face.

And she's like, By the way, By the way, also everyone inside is like, Oh my God, I'm like, this is crazy, except for Malia who's like, Sweet, we have a historical basket. She's like, Oh my God, I'm like, this is crazy. Except for Malia who's like, sweet, we have a historical basket. She's like, oh. And she goes, so Hannah's like, okay,

she's, oh, you think so? You don't, you don't think I care? Well, Hannah, if I wanted you off the boat, do you think I'd use this? You did. You did me, you wanted her off the boat and you did use this. And Hannah says, says all this bullshit

She's oh it is bullshit because I could have fired you last year or the year before so if you want to make it that way and say I don't care. It's fine with me. I won't care so now officially I don't fucking care It's like what are you doing right now? Way to take a stance you already fired her you literally already fired here Why are you doing this right now? Because I think it was gonna be easier in her mind to make Hannah Look like the bad one look like the bad guy and it's not working out. And so now she's trying to make it sound like they're having some big fight.

I'm just like, you know what, here's the truth. Okay, I consulted Maritime Law and I could have fired you last year. Remember the toast that never showed up, oh, I do. Okay, I could have fired you the year before that. Remember that table scape you did where you used a C shell where it should have been a glass bead. Well, that's also a violation of maritime code 3.561. Okay, could have fired you on both occasions,

but I didn't. Yeah, I just heard the argument is making her look really weak when she's like, I just can't, you know, with all the problems you're having, what with, you know, having panic attacks and it's like, well, but if that's, what with, you know, having panic attacks and it's like, well, but if that's so bad and you knew that she had panic attacks after last year and you still hired her thinking that it was gonna make, you know, it was gonna put people in danger, then you're basically admitting to putting people in danger all season.

And half a last season. So I don't think she's really thinking this one out. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels! Let's rent some errands with Emily Eryns. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-ists.

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Ronnie, have we talked about Clarina recently? You know about Clarina? Oh, yeah, I love clarina. Clarina is a shopping app. So you can browse, you can buy anything there. Um, you can shop anywhere from one app. It's a good shop. Yeah. Yeah, it's actually Swedish. And so

you know, I, I inherently trust anything that comes from Sweden because they perfected me balls. And so that like is it a lot of you know Authority in my mind and so clarna is this really cool revolutionary new online shopping app And you can pay for anything in four interest repayments, which is really good and really flexible So I like that a lot and you can also get customized price drop alerts Along with getting the best deals naturally

You can just set alerts and find what you want is on sale. Yeah, and then you can also, actually one of my favorite things is creating and sharing wish list because I love making lists. And I also sometimes I'll be walking around and I'm like, you know what, I really need, I need a new vacuum or something.

And this way I can just like put it on there. And then, because you know, by the time I get home, I always forget. So like being able to make wish list is really helpful. And you can totally do that on Clarna as well. You can download the Clarna app today. Clarna is the way the online shopping should be. In Sweden, they don't just shop, they clarna, okay?

It's spelled K-L-A-R-N-A. And that Swedish for smoother shopping. Big Brother follows a group of people living together in a house outfitted with dozens of high-definition cameras and microphones recording their every move 24 hours a day. Each week, the house guests will vote someone out of the house. And in the end, the last remaining house guests

will receive the grand prize of $500,000. Big Brother is back with this 22nd season. Yeah, and this season is an all-star season consisting of all returning house guests. Now, if you listen to this podcast, you probably know that Ron and I go way back with Big Brother. I've been watching since season three, and my one impact on this entire world

is that back in the TV Gazzam days, we named Julie Chen, Chen bot. Okay, so we are into this show big time. Yeah, we'll be watching it. So you watch it too. New episodes air on CBS and CBS all access every Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday at eight, seven central. But first, go behind the scenes with the live feeds and multi cam setup in the house exclusively on CBS All Access. trial of CBS all access so you can catch up on all the big brother content you need to get ready for season 22 So then upstairs on the boat Rob has gotten Hannah's bag and has just like plopped in the middle of the living room

So bugs you walks by and she's just like plopped in the middle of the living room so bugs you walk spines like who's the case is this? The random let me look let's see where it doesn't say Fonda so it's clearly not mine I didn't bring this one. As I show the captain walking up the stairs did you notice her glitter tennis shoes? No I didn't. I was like what are you suddenly maxing from shoebox greetings? I was like, what are you suddenly maxing from shoebox greetings? Where did those come from? So Sandy finds Malia. By the way, and another thing that I learned over the past week amongst many of the rageful emotions that people who are feeling is that like, I learned that actually, we've

always sort of assumed that boasts and chiefsew are kind of like equals and ranks. But I then went and looked online and I saw there was like all these different hierarchy charts and in almost all of them, not in all of them, but in almost all of them, Bosen is below ChiefsDew. That's usually ChiefsDew is in line with First Mate and then Bosen is below first mate. Although we see David is the first mate here and he's like not really on the show. So I thought that was interesting too that especially given that whole argument last week

with the bunks, et cetera, that Malia was like, but I'm a Bosen, I'm a Bosen. And with her argument about hierarchy is that the chef outranks, she wasn't saying she outranks her, she was saying that the chef outrinks. She wasn't saying she outrinks or she was saying that the chef outrinks her. She was still talking to the chiefs too in a way that was actually out of line for her. And so the chef doesn't necessarily always outrank the chiefs too, right? I don't know if the chef always does, but the chef looks pretty high on

most of the things that I looked at. I don't know. I mean, again, it's not conclusive. Every boat has a different hierarchy, but I just wanted to point that out there because it's fun to, you know, let's just throw some more. Well, Captain Lee was all the evidence I need. He had a tweet that said, sorry, but chef doesn't have rank chiefs too. So good luck for that still, man. God damn it. It's got 97 God damn it's within five seconds of posting. Look at that. So, so anyway, so yeah, so

Sandy goes and tells Malia that she fired Hannah and again, it's like, I just don't feel comfortable going to see with Hannah for the rest of the season. You know what I'm saying? Hey, did you see my new kitchen decoration decor? Yeah, it's nice, right? You swipe there, you can see my cabinets. Real nice, huh? Mollier, right? So Hannah passes Bugsy and Bugsy's like,

should I impact the alcohol? She's like, I really don't care. Buggy, Buggy, her night. And so then the captain is still talking to Mollier. And she's like, you know, I just can't have Hannah What if she overdoses what if she didn't who is gonna overdose on five milligrams of valium and a CBD pen Give me a fucking break this ain't the first time around the block for you But if her pot let if her pot pin gets lodging her throat and I have to say

Hey calling to land, we have a chief stew with a marijuana gadget stuck in her esophagus. And I think that she's about to either overdose or choke or boogs. And you know what, she may be having allergic reaction. Her knee looks like it has a rash on it. What then, Malia, what then? And she said she'd present proof, but she couldn't. And Malia is like, um, does this have to do with the picture? Yes, the

picture you sent me. Thank you. Thank you, Mrs. Leibowitz. She goes, um, yeah, because I don't think Malia knew that she was going to be outed like that. Yeah, because she's like, uh, so great. So the picture I sent you is now on camera. Yeah, the picture. Thank you. Which is like, yeah, I'm just like, yeah, I just wanted to say out to the crew, Hey, crew just want to say, Malia, you've done a great job taking photos of your fellow crewmates, private belongings, love the angle, love the lighting. If anyone has any stuff in their, in their packet books

or clutches that they want Malyya to take a photo of, she's great. She does great work. All right. There you go, Malyya. Nice public shout out for you. And Malyya is like, well, I feel for her because it's my job to report drugs. And if a guest follows, and then we see a clip of a guest falling and Hannah gets popped for a drug test and fails, then there goes Captain Sandy's license. There goes the boat. There goes everything. Which is why I waited to report this very dangerous situation until I was mad at Hannah for not giving me a room

to bomb my boyfriend in for the entire season. Like, how does Malia's argument hold any fucking water? It was not dangerous until you were mad at Hannah. Malia. Petty. Petty, Pet, petty, petty. So Rob, Rob goes and tells Jess what's going on and she's like, oh gosh, that means Bugsie Sue is going to be the chiefs to. Lord help us all. Um, getting back into bingo, getting back into bingo.

So then Jess goes to Hannah. She's like, no, what happened? No. She's like, oh, well, I had a valium and she doesn't feel safe going to see with me. And she says, how does she find out? She's like, Moliya took a picture. No. It's a dog-eat dog world in this industry, honey. And then Hannah tells us,

Moliya's like a snake. A snake that knows how to use a camera, okay? We got to be a little bit of a chicken past, but you know, I thought we got past it. We see flashbacks. Some of some of their greatest hits of them, like, Malia and Hannah getting along when Malia first got on the boat a few years ago,

and then they were fighting over West and Adam. And you know, everything has been going really well to season and then she just went like boom, straight down to the the gutter like a wall of bee that's just hats in Foster's beer. And just like oh my god, Buxi is going to be psycho this charter. She's so neurotic. She's all years boy. And then, um, uh, so then we, uh, then we see our first glimpse of Tom losing his mind later this season, because it's a commercial, like, still to come. Tom is going to lose his mind. Look at him.

Look at that guy go, oh, wow, that is a guy who definitely needs a nap. Am I right, everyone? Okay, back to the episode. So Hannah was passing Bugsie again and Bugsie is like, what happened? She says, I don't know. What do you mean? No, just will our head, volume, which is prescribed in mind. passing Bugsie again and Bugsie's like, what happened? She says, I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? She just will R-Head Vellum, which is prescribed,

M-I-N, and now I'm too much of a danger to take to see. And Bugsie's like, oh, geez. So then Malia comes in and she's like, are you all right? And Hannah just kind of laughs on her face. She goes, mm-hmm. Like a full on, first honey smile. Yeah, and then I was like, well apparently apparently you can get fired for having anxiety attacks. And, at least like, oh, is that what happened?

Hmm. Liyah's balls. Yeah, she does. She really does. So Hannah's like, I have a legal CBD pan and a legal valium board. And I also have descriptions too. And apparently I'm just too much of a risk to go out to sea because I'm so unstable.

Oh, oh, no. Emily is like, well, where they went to start with the boat, she's, oh, I can't even remember. Because they weren't. Emily just goes, mm-hmm. And then turns away. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. They're really trying to poke.

And you know, you have to, you gotta be proud of Hannah as a fan of this show that she doesn't just fucking lose it. She doesn't. She actually really... Fuck you. Fuck you. I thought we might get another like one last like double finger honey, but no, we didn't even get one of those.

She's just, she's actually very calm considering. And I like that we saw a close up of her changing out of her uniform and we saw the tattoo on the back of her neck that says, keep dancing. I was like, this is appropriate, very appropriate. Yeah. So Hannah walks off and Malia tells Bugs Eat, well, you can't take value. Okay, Tracy Flick. So then it's like, so Hannah's saying goodbye. She says goodbye to Alex. And she has a, by the way, she says a very warm goodbye to Tom. And Tom is like, well, I've never seen that day of charter. First, you first, you has left on the day of

charter and great first day, mom, great first day. So Hannah's like, so this is how it ends and then we get her ending speech. And she's like, listen, hon, eyes, I know maritime law, I've been yawning for years and it was my mistake not to report that to the boat, but to be honest with you, I've been ready to make a hasty exit from this industry for years. I just don't like going home with like this, alright? Yeah, it's just like you know, it's set as I am to be leaving on this really dark, horrible note. I would have never regret my time in Yarding except of course meeting Sandy and Bogsy and Malia and then we get like it's goodbye Marta as we see like the highs and the lows of Hannah,

very sad that we did not get to see a June, June, you know, June, June, and Hannah. But we got some other good stuff. Yeah. Um, one of our friends texted us and said, Hey, yesterday Bravo replayed the Malia episodes from her first season. And it feels like shade, but also a good replay of how shady she is. I like that. We also got to see a flashback of his wow who walked up to Hannah drunkly on that party boss and said, for a 30 year old, you have nothing going on in your life and you are just

a big stupid, fat seabird. No, I had it last part. That monster. So if anybody needs a reminder of the kind of person that Captain Sandy really likes to promote, There he is. He's a captain now. So Hannah's like, I would have preferred to end on a high, not literally. Still got my honoured humour.

So she ends on a good note. And that's it. Hannah's gone. I mean, she's, but now Hannah is pregnant. She's pretty far along. She's going to be having a baby. And I think I saw on her social media that she's starting some I mean, she's, but now Hannah is pregnant. She's pretty far along. She's gonna be having a baby. And I think I saw on her social media that she's starting some sort of like yacht education company

where she's gonna train, train people on like the do's and don'ts of yachting. So she's fine. I mean, she's moving on. She's doing yacht education with Anastasia. And they're starting the company together, and she's starting a new podcast. So we'll see if we can get a little clip of that,

we'll throw it on the end so you guys can preview it, not today, but whenever it comes out. So yeah, she's doing fine. It's just really shitty that it happened this way. Yeah, definitely. So then we see Alex with incredible powers of observation. First, it was the second stew. Now it's the first stew.

I mean, like, oh. That's true. So in Jess and Robin Malia, Jess goes, is this really happening? Rob's like, can we make a solid pact that no one else leaves? Listen, I just want one promise from a tree. Please stop leaving. Get it?

Janjeskas, I have to be fired. I'm not quitting. Well, it says, that's the spirit. So the regrouping, regrouping, regrouping. So Sandy meets with Bugsy. Uh, you know, I think it's obvious. Obviously, it's pretty obvious. I see I use obvious twice.

They are to really hammer home how obvious it is, but obviously it's pretty obvious. Obviously that can has no longer on board. So, uh, guess what, you're the new cheats do, you know? Yeah, you're good to do that, right? All right, well, we'll get you someone for the next charter. Guess who I missed talking to?

Her name is Norma, okay But you'll have the debt crew to help you know do whatever they can do or whatnot obviously obvious Well, I have to do what I have to do. I suppose I'll just see anything that I can do to have to do it obviously Obviously obviously If I would you do oh if I were to do oh my god I'm going to say I'm my whole world what you know I've lived a life of hypotheticals and all here it is how long is it before we hear?

well if I was sick and still I would have done that be not I know since I'm first to now that I'm first to so Now that I'm first to so Provisions yeah, basically she's like, well, you know, this is just how the boat runs bugsy It's not for me to know also I got the picture in my own message Wonderfully posed I thought it was man Annie Leber with obviously I did too. I mean what town So then we see Tom and well all these provisions and he's like, I've had very classical training. I don't know if I

mentioned it, but my mother once cooked for the Queen mother herself. So it's sort of like my Queen grandmother at this point. I'm very meticulous about being organized and prepared. And so to get dropped into the deep end like this is just mad. It's just mad. It's absolutely mad. I just I'm happy. I'm very happy. Mm hmm. And then Malia finds a Kiko bandana. And she tells Justin get rid of it.

She's like, get rid of this bad luck. Yeah. You're kind of the bad luck. This will be falling everybody on this boat. Malia. Yeah, pretty much. So yeah. So so Malia has a has a deck meeting. And it is like, okay guys, like, let's leave the drama

inside. Let's keep working. Woohoo, all that stuff. So while she just got fired, she just got somebody fired over drama that she started because she couldn't get her room. Let's just remember that as Emilia gives her speech. Sorry, go ahead. No, so Tom is still realing.

He's, he based, what Tom wants to say is what the fuck is wrong with a stupid, stupid boat, but he's too polite at this point still, so he's like, I've never seen anyone walk out of the day of the charter. I've never seen something like that. What, what, what a daft thing to do. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? I'm totally, everything's fine. Everything's fine. I love that they phrase it like Hannah did something to them Yeah, how could she walk out she was fired Yeah, thank your girlfriend So bugs is like well, you know, he's got a lot of knowledge about things But Hannah had a lot of knowledge about things were how things were running now that she's not yeah, I just don't know

Yeah, bugs. He knows exactly what she's going to do. I think this is a whole fake. She's had like a plan in mind like, that would teach you. I'll have three zones in one zone. If you're standing in it, you get a head checker. And by the jeeps, do I have a setting in the other zone, you're full to paper.

I've said you have the other one. You make a table skate, which zone do you want to be in? That would teach you. So then, Saland, Salandi. Sandy and Malia, Sandy's eating some toast, some guilt to... You know, I just felt terrible. I can have some toast with jelly. So, Malia, you know, you'll get someone, you know,

Bugsy, you'll get someone the next Charter. I think we're going to see a change in Jess, kind of as a warning. And Malia's like, well, once they see the reason that she left and the severity, they need to understand that even if she has a prescription for those things, you can't take them while on duty. Oh, really? So people with a prescription for, I don't know, Adderall, anything to do with mental health can't take them all on duty. This just doesn't sound right.

Yeah, Malia said that she once had an allergic reaction during our crossing and they showed picture of her just like a blotchy and like a swollen lip and that she, she couldn't even take her Ben and Drill without it like getting logged. So yeah, so she's like in this and she's basically like in the word time, I'm valium and weed and it wasn't even registered Maritime Law Maritime Law Yeah, this is the Captain and Malia scene to hammer home that they're really the good guys here over and over again And it's not really working Maritime law proud as illegal maybe legal in California have fun with that hippies

All right, but one joint was found on an entire vessel was seized. All right. Yeah. Yeah, they took the entire vessel one for one little joint. They took the entire vessel and seized it. And that vessel was sent off to a crazy prison colony off in the off in a far-justed land. And then when it came back, it terrorized Gotham City.

Oh, wait, sorry. I am thinking about being in the dark night rises. I'm sorry I apologize one of those vessels was so nasty with this pat that they had to put a little cage on its face So it couldn't bite your your pat tongue off Let me take HHS Lecta HHS Lecta the uh, HHS uh, lector.

Yeah. LHS. Later on when we found out that there was another yacht that was up to no good, we had to visit that yacht in jail and find out how the other yacht thinks. It was very, very difficult. There is a movie about yachts that just do too much pots together. It's called Yacht N' Yachtsy. Okay. It's very bad.

One time, uh, after that yacht got out of jail, we realized that there was actually some sort of nefarious plan happening in Alcatraz. So we had to use that Yacht to actually break in to Alcatraz to stop this plot. Who'd have thought bringing in to jail? Not out of jail, right? That's an irony. It's called the Yacht Rock. Well, there's the reason that we have these laws, okay? There's a reason. Yeah, maritime law. Maritime law! I just wrote these two suck. That's my note for the end of the scene. So then Malia goes to check on Tom, who is now just falling to pieces. And literally, she goes, Chef, you're all good. He's like, full of pieces right now.

Because his spatula has like become unattached from the spatula handle. He's like, what is happening here? I can't even make a blitz in peace right now. My blini, I should say. Can't make a blini. So he's, he's in the toughest situation he could ever be thrown into. And I'm going to protect him right now. I'm going to be protective.

Would you like a bottle of water? Like, wow, a real Jackie Kennedy there. But also, I like that she says this as if it's like a revelation that she's going to be protective. I'm like, you literally just got someone fired because you were afraid that your boyfriend would have to sleep with a stranger. Okay. We know your projective. So, um, bugs is of course having just, you know, what she's just walking around doing work things. Yeah. Jess is looking, she's like, oh I'm sorry, I'm just looking for epilepsy right now. All right, so I'm standing right behind you and you seem to be looking inside the even synchronator.

Well, what's going on with that? Oh, you're right. There are no epilets in here. This one table done. That's nothing other table down. Well, we're gonna, I'll just wipe it down. Thank you. And just it's like, um, I know where Bugsy gets her name from.

I have a dog named Bugsy because he bugs the shit out of everyone. Pretty simple. And oddly enough, my dog is my superior too Dog gets on my wall So now we go back to Jess and Rob's bunk and we just see Rob saying I love you Oh Great, thanks. Oh. He keeps going.

Oh. I'll crew. I'll crew. Obviously, it's time for us to have a pretty obvious crew meeting. It's maritime loss. It's time for a maritime long meeting. OK, everyone.

OK, we're all sitting here. OK, hi. Everyone's probably heard different stories. Hannah's been let go. She violated three different laws of maritime law. Yeah. Yeah, it's serious. And I think pretty obvious too.

To not drink, you do not take medication, you do not refuse hugs, okay? You cannot be drowsy or under the influence of anything. And I need to know I can rely on each and every one of you. You know, even the ones who are filing down still drunk from the night before as we go out the next day to see. Now, Bugsie, is your chiefs too? I think we all leave the chatter you've heard on the doc. We reset. We start new. Let's kill it. I don't mean that. Let's hug it. Go, T. When we go to see, just as a reminder, everyone, when we go to see, we are responsible for every slice of toast. If you drop a slice of toast because you're high on pot pens and such, that's gonna be a problem, okay? All right hands in the middle, hands in the middle. Guess what? Surprise hug. You thought we were doing the all thing? No, it was a hug. Group hug, yes.

Just one thing to keep in mind, obviously as we go on with this charter, is the last person who got fired was the last person to interrupt me eating a bullet Cheerios. Okay let's get back to it team let's get back to it. Alright Tom I gave you a plastic fork to open up those oysters later tonight have a good one. Pogs I'm I'm making a list here champagne afterplates small forks and we're gonna change then with regards to cabins She gonna go do the bids. You're gonna do tells you're gonna do cook rock dance Kids and kids look at good rectangle around what I need you to do is that way you can see it better rectangle Just like I can't wait hmm

So then the guests are I haven't they already seem like a classy bunch. These guys. Oh, yeah. I mean, we really, I mean, we have a major drama. Then we have terrible guests. We have Tom losing his mind. It's a crazy episode. So here they come. And they're all running to get into the line there to greet them.

And we have Ashley who's the primary and she comes on and she's introducing everyone. Everyone's like meeting her. They're all saying, hi, Emily. It's like, hi, I'm Melia. And this guy goes, Melia, okay, where are you from? Where are you from? Or again, okay. And I know they're going to be terrible because there's two red jumpsuits with ruffles.

Okay, so I know this is gonna be a terrible crew of people. These people are awful. They're so awful. I forgot to look to see where they're from. But I feel like I have geographical suspicions and I think I'm gonna be right. I think they're from one of three places, but I'm not gonna say it. But I think they're from one of three places and I feel really strong about that. Go ahead. Okay.

I'm going to say Orange County, Florida or Arizona. Really no jerseys in there. Come on. No, no. No, no. I'm really leaning towards Orange County on this one. Yeah. The ruffle jumpsuits are very OC.

They're like, I'm OC and I have a business badge. So Bugs, he's like, while working, his chiefs do his total uncomfortable, we've never expected to have to do it only about what barrettes will are we are. So they go on a tour, she gives them the tour of the boat and there's an older like Chubby guy named Jared and he's like, what is this a dingy that takes the sun to the yacht? Jared is awful. He's so nosy the entire he asks all these questions. He's disgusting. He's terrible and We should have we should have known from the Oregon thing that he'd be terrible, but then he makes this dingy joke. And I was like, all right. Oh, man, he's really bad. He gets so bad during this episode. Yeah. So, Molly is like, um, these

guests look like high maintenance. Now it's not the time for a big challenge. And then someone, they're looking at one of the rooms and one of the guys says, is there a pull up for Jared? And then another guy goes, you know, he doesn't pull out. Like, he's let this yoppy, sees by maritime law. Please let the maritime police officer see this yacht right now with all these guests on it, because we don't need any more of them. Yeah, if maritime law was really that strict, Jared would just combust right now. would just combust right now. So time to leave poor. So they're leaving poor and then, um, and then I think it's, they're like taking photos. I think it is this guy, Jared, this old dude, and he's like,

Hey, everyone, look up this way. Say money, money. I'm like, okay, you're not hardy. Sit down and stop talking. Um, so then, um, Buxie checks in with Tom about lunch or she checks in with the guest about lunch. She's like, are you good to do a family style? Tom, they good to do family style. And he's like, well, food for me is a pride position. I don't plan on retiring ever. My mother gave us massive lists of jaws. I remember once I was sleeping and she had a hose and she sprayed me with the hose and

she said, get up, you'll never achieve anything while sleeping. I don't want to be one of those people who works and works and works and works. I just want to be me and avoid my mother's hose, her spiritual hose, spraying me down every morning as I wake up in a flash and say, Mother, I'm working, Mother, I'm doing my chores. Jesus, this guy has mentioned his mother in like every interview. You need some help. He's so tightly wound because in his interviews he barely opens his teeth. He's like, well, I'm just going to speak with this because I don't want to let anything

out. My mother always says, keep it all in, keep it all in because your British stiff upper lip will guess what? I've stiff upper lip and stiff lower lip too. Or what, I really do a text from for you, mother. Yeah, like a really plastic smile. And then those eyes, those just eyes, those signing with evil eyes. That's great.

I'm so happy to have. I love an evil rage that's lurking under the surface. Well, by the way, spoiler, not spoiler, shocker. Guess what these guests order. Quote him quote, express a martiniens, please. Oh, that's so something a person and a roughly jumpsuit would order an express a martini. I was like, uh, espresso. It's a espresso. So, Vuxy, Vuxi is like, all right, you need to pull for lunch, Jasmine. She's like, well, do you want to make the espresso martini? And she's like,

Oh, shall I teach you? I find one of the problems on yachts. Is it now when else shows the new people how to do anything? But I will take time, even though I'm very busy to treat to teach just what she needs to know So come my god you guys got your way Jesus One of the things on yats is that you don't a lot of people don't know how to do things So it's important to teach people how to make pretty simple drinks They should know how to make since they did profess to be a bartender at one point. It's my pride so to make since they did profess to be a bartender at one point. It's my pride. So, um, Pete is eating and Leia's down there and he's like, so is Hannah let go from drugs.

Yes, it doesn't matter if you have a prescription, you can't have them and you can't take them on duty and the chief's stew is in charge of the guess. It could be very, very dangerous. Yeah, Emily. So, Emily is up in the galley. She's helping out Tom because she probably knows that Tom is gonna blow a gasket momentarily and then blame her for like trapping him

in this awful situation. So, she's trying her best to like keep him calm and like help out with whatever she can. And then Jess, meanwhile, she brings cocktails out to these pigs up on the deck. And the guy was like, hey, you know what? I need Ashley to fall in love with her. You know what I'm saying? Basically saying that he wants

to have a three-some of Jess and Ashley. Yeah. And the other guy, the main guy, I say, it's like, yeah, I've got a t-shirt this is daddy. And you're like, yeah, I'm gonna hop on her bed and say, I'm your daddy. Gosh, you guys are almost gross enough to work on this show. Malia, Malia, obviously it's time to drop your anchor, Malia, anchor, anchor, anchor, anchor, anchor. I did it. So the toys go out and stuff and Bugsie is getting ready to bring up lunch.

And she's like, all right, marinated barata, also Buka roasted sea bass. So then I'll take these up and then I'll clear them, then I'll replay and then the crew can run the plant as I have everything work, everything work. Like Bugsie, that's how it works. Okay, you don't have to list every little single thing that's going on in the day just do your job okay first impression is huge and if you get it right then hopefully you can ride that little wave because that's what life is all about little little waves you just just bob up and down on the little little waves you don't want to have a big wave mummy you don't want to have a big wave mummy so they serve the marinated barata and heirloom tomato and then Tom down to the kitchen it's like Malia will you play this whole thing? Which mind? She's like, um no of course not I'll

do that. First time I asked to get used to not having a sous chef. Yeah and then he and Malia starts laughing like I just want you know I just want you know to help it help them out in the kitchen because, you know, I don't want the repercussions later. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm like, uh, this is getting kind of dark. Yeah, and then Kiko, let's imagine Kiko having one of the deck hands, a plate for him every meal and see Malia's reaction.

Fucking him. Yeah, that's true. So, um, let's see. So, Jess, what's the chef's name? And she's like, um, I don't know. Well, can you tell if it like, is his name like, oh, is it like a really complicated name with a lot of letters? Um, I don't know.

I, it's really hard to remember. It's like a lot of syllables. A lot of letters. I don't know. It's really hard to remember. It's like a lot of syllables. A lot of syllables. Mm. B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, I'm thinking of what his name out. I just love that she couldn't remember the name Tom. So that was me last week,

and I sat here with you the whole hour. That's true. Well, he does have Matt energy, you know. Yes, that's true. So Captain he does have Matt energy. Yeah. You know, so Captain is like Captain of course comes. The cow is at and Jared's like, if you had his food yet, I don't know what preference she said, feel, but it wasn't mine. Yeah. But then when it's like, uh-oh, but then when it comes back, we realized he was just saying, I don't know who's preference she said, feel someone out here said, feel someone said, feel I don't know I don't normally like it, but it tasted great

It's like okay below deck did it to us again tricky tricky So down in the kitchen mulea finishes plating and he's like great mulea. Thanks. I don't know where I'd be without you She goes well not here That's right. I have an uncle who's dying somewhere and here I am trapped in this terrible turbo galley Small waves little waves ride the little waves Tommy Hey, Malia. I mean, hey bugs. You married check on married to my job There's such nosy fucking gas like every they're crying into all of their, and all their lives. So now, um, uh, all the guests are swimming and everyone's wiping out on the toys.

They're all doing everything at once, everything at once. And it's like, keep your eyes on them. Keep your eyes on them. And Rob's like, Aliyah, they disappeared behind the rock. What do I do? It's like, move your head, Rob. And then, uh, one of, uh, one of the couples topples over on one of the skiddoos and Mollia gets them

out and she's like okay wait distribution. Have fun guys. I like the woman in that couple because like you said a toppled over and then there was like a woman, like you just started going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, on the dog. He's like, girlfriend, huh? Girlfriend? I'm seeing someone. She's upstairs. Oh, on the boat.

Which one? Jessica. Oh, yeah. You got good taste. You got good taste. She's the one with good taste. Get it? Good, because I'm not kidding.

The relationship has gotten deeper. It's a saga and more powerful. Really quickly. Yeah, the guys like, yeah, Robert Jessica sitting in a tree. K, I, S, S, R, N, G, I, N, A, T, R, E, E, B, A, R. I could do this all day. Really, I like it. It's actually soothing.

Then in South Africa, we have a different version of that nursery rhyme. It goes like this. Robin Jessica sitting in a car, Dr, D R I B R N G D R U G S to the border. Roll black sailing just likes yawks. Watch out here come the cops. Run darling run! It was as I read by the blue. I got five kilos of cocaine in the trunk. What about you? Oh, have a suitcase.

Just call the porter. But you better run. run towards the border. Run darling! Go as fast as you can! The once was a man from Nantocket who ordered many, many kilos of cocaine, so I brought him to him over the border, the end. Sorry, lost my rhyme there at the end, but that's like a lot of small shirts. So it's just a little bit more free form. Not all art rhymes. So then we

cut to one of the guys going, I want to oh, the same guy, of course, he's like, you know what I want? I want a whiskey twice my age and a woman half my age and his friend goes well, yeah, yeah, he got one That'll be a very old whiskey and actually a pretty old woman too The math works out So I guess what these guests. They're gonna be on TV. So it goes what they did. They brought a dildo around. Oh, aren't dildos funny. And Jared's girlfriend's like, Hey, that's mine. Guys don't play with that. And Bugsie comes at you like tonight. We're gonna do a celebration of a hundred thousand four o'clock. Yeah, and also a birthday cake. Oh, don't don't don't take cake. Who can make a birthday cake? The chef's worth nightmare being told he

has to do a cake in the last second. Yeah, chef, I've got some bad news for you. You have to make a very rudiment last second. Dear chef, I've got some bad news for you. You have to make a very rudimentary cake, a chocolate cake, the most difficult cake in the lower tier cakes. So see they, they're like, can you take this cucumber back to the room? And she's like, whoa, she like swings around the dildo and stuff.

And she's like, I don't even want to know. and she just poses it on the pillow. I'm wacky wacky wacky wacky. Yeah so So Tom Tom like goes and tells me yeah, he's like he's like well guess what? Here's the news. I'm riding on my little waves of life and then I find out I have to make a birthday cake 30 minutes ago who would have thought people on a yacht want something other than what has been previously chosen for them by me.

Ha, a birthday cake, 30 minutes ago a birthday cake, can you believe it mum? A birthday cake! I mean look at me, doing the food, the oysters, then cake and bugs are like sorry they threw it at me. It's like well, I don't know if it even has time to cool, but I'll do it. It's kind of a bit of nonsense to have a cake if you ask me. Birthday is my household. Met sitting down in front of a plate of dust and saying,

this is your future unless you get out of that bedroom. Here comes the hose. And then we get a little small segment of our new favorite show. The Captain Calling Norma. Norma, it's me. I need a second stool. Yes, again, Norma, you know, that's some lip. You better read the maritime line, the laundry room.

You want me to face time for you from the no lip. All right. Zero tolerance for lip. Listen, maritime law says zero tolerance for not getting me another stew. Okay, maritime law It's right there on the wall of our yacht you come out here on a tender and you look at the wall then you go back and you'll see Yeah, and then we check in with Tom again. Malia checks in on Tom again, and he's just spiraling So okay, I could do it. Maybe it won't cool. I don't know if I could do it now

He's like it's a bullshit A fucking birthday cake last minute. It's fucked, alright. That's it. It's not hard enough for me. Oh, well, just change it all in. There's an element of wind up the chef here. And we've got one chef and he's cooking for the crew as well. I don't know whatever. This is bullshit. A birthday cake last minute. A birthday cake.

Just, maybe we haven't got three hours till 10 o'clock and you know what? At 8 o'clock is, that's one hour before the 9 o'clock, do you know? Three hours to make a cake? Really four hours? Five hours if you really think about it sometimes. It's just awful, it's awful. Who just this? Who does this? Let me tell you one thing. Listen, Sir Paul McCotty would never put some move like that. Okay. You know, we all live on a yellow submarine, but guess what that yellow submarine can't just be painted red at the last minute It's yellow goddamn it. I will always be yellow And now he's mad about crew food, too Isn't it funny how you guys distkiko and a bearist Kiko and now look you've got a fancy as chef who needs help in the kitchen and can't even do the crew food

And then a lady falls down the stairs, which was I think the show saying, see, it could have happened. Look, if Hannah, if Hannah was high, that lady might not have gotten the medical attention. She didn't need, okay? Coming up on below deck med, a fat naked guy with the dildo. Ha ha ha ha ha! I can't make a cake when there's a naked man in the hallway. We literally come back from commercial and Tom like okay, okay, okay, come down, come

down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down,

come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come down, come I'm not doing I'm not buzzing I'm proper angry. I'm not chuffed I'm like as kiss is because now I've got a lot to do So then we get we terms breakdown continues But it's interspersed with little scenes of gross guy in the hot tub going Making these noises and he's taking pictures of his girlfriend and she's posing sexy and he's like

And he's taking pictures of his girlfriend and she's posing sexy and he's like, oh, that's a good sexy. Yeah, I was like, well, this is unit's future. Okay. Yeah, this is what is so wrong with America right now. So then we have so bugs is like, geez, could you pull the cutlery right now? You know what cutlery is? Okay, I'll say it's lonely. See you to cutlery. You know no no no. Stop reaching for the bread. That's not cutlery. No Jess. No Jess.

Okay, now you've just run into the wall. Okay, come back. I love my voice. Jess, we need an oyster fork. But they don't even have hands. Jesus. This is the one moment where I felt genuinely bad for Tom because this is fucked. Like, yeah, they did not have an oyster knife for him, which I don't even know how to kiko do the other oysters. Oysters have been a quiet enemy of this boat all season long, but I don't know, maybe a producer, like Chuck the oyster knife just to make Tom mad

because he was stuck with some other thing and he was losing his mind. How the hell am I supposed to open up these oysters? You can't do this, mother. Not with a regular knife like this. What am I supposed to do? Just ask it to open up. Hello, all of a sudden, you open up. Come here.

You're about to get eaten and all. And how about that? No, it doesn't work that way, mother. Well to answer your question, I believe that the reason that Kiko had one and this guy doesn't is because you chefs carry their own knives. Kitchens do not have, kitchens have very basic knives for chef. They don't have a whole set up of fancy knives. Chefs carry those. That's why you see when chefs come relieve the show, the thing they're always carrying is their chef's bag of knives. So if anyone's at fault for not having an oysteristanoif, guess you that would be his name rhymes with fat. It's just kidding, it's not Matt. It's soooom.

Yeah. No, I don't know if Oistanoif's are a typical thing you would have on a knife's a knife bag. I would guess I'm going to see, but hey, you know what, Tom's going through enough shit today. I'll wait to blame him for stuff till later. Too late. I mean, I also feel like I've seen tutorials that show you how to shock an oyster with a regular knife, but I could be wrong. But I think what was happening was that he had a shitty knife. And on top of that, he's like, and I'm on camera. I'm trying to do this on camera.

And mother's watching. And mother's trying probably watching with a queen mother. And he has queen Elizabeth watching me not being able to open up an oyster It's unfairly on my failure. Okay. Give me the hose. Give me the hose So bugs is like oh he says bugs. We have a knife in her Malia asser. She's like bugs. We have an oyster knife Oh Lord, I just sprung oyster for some chesa. It's gonna explode. Good mood to open them like sucker. Oh, now. Now it turns out that the oyster knife was caught having valium, so we had to of course

kick it off the boat. See, what are all the rinse? I don't know why I made bugs you talk like that. You got the crimson proper. proper. Told my butt sticking out some plates! Alright, could you put a sticky note on top of my eyeballs because I might as well be a bulletin board just prick me with little thumb decks. Told my just want you to know that to be helpful during dinner, you can look at my head and I'll be wearing a beret that says apps for appetizer calls, dinner for dinner calls, and cack-sucker for the CAC calls, alright? Literally waves, literally waves, literally waves take 4 Tommy!

So, um, so then, uh, the drunk guy comes wandering through and he's like, so, uh, you're gonna make a good meal Tim? He's like, my name is Tom, don't say it, resist it, resist it, Tom, be good, be good be good keep it in solid stiff upper face stiff upper face okay I'm just like and guys not only bothering him in the kitchen he's sitting there filming him like he's about to get a Karen refusing to wear a mask in a Walmart you know he's just saying they're filming him he's like so you're gonna make a good meal I read I got one for you because you're English an English man comes home and finds his wife in bed with two other men What does he say?

Make me a cake for a second Say all three of you forget to make me a cake right now because that's what you expect from these deep Americans As if I can't get a last second. Is that what he said now he says hello? Hello? Hello? Get it Not really can you just say that to any three people not necessarily his wife with two men in bed? Hello, hello, hello, get it. Hmm. Not really. Can you just say that to any three people, not necessarily his wife with two men in bed? Get it? Because there's how many men are there?

There's three. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Still don't get it? It's an American joke. We're making fun of the English. All right. I do understand it. And I guess part of British humor is just staring Americans until they realize how stupid they are, but they never, they never do get out of my face you fat fuck.

The real joke here is an American trying to pull one over on in English, isn't it? The real joke here is trying to open up oysters for you sad fucks with a strong paper bag. So the bugsy checks him on the captain. She's like, how should I go in and captain's like, God, I wanted to go home to date with such a tough morning. I could have been in a Broncos Jaguars game right now. The actual game played by Broncos and Jaguars. God, I love when animals play games. Oh, that would have been so good.

Of course, the Jaguars probably would have eaten the brancos, but it could have been fun. I also like games played by fancy cars. You ever see a Ford Bronco crash into a Jaguar? Amazing. You ever seen a Jaguar getting carcerated? There's something. Yeah, the pots, guys. Stay off the pots. So now we get the full extended scene of that dude who's been so awful now just naked walking through the hallway with a dildo and just like trying trying different doors until one opens up and just flinging the dildo into that room. So Jess is going over flights for Bali. She's like, oh my god, it's such a pain in the ass. Like,

it's a 16 hour layover. And Rob's like, oh my god, it's such a pain in the ass. Like it's a 16 hour layover. And we're all psyched. That's all right. I'm used to that shit. You arrive after a crossing and then you just get on with it. Change your name. Peel off the color of your car to reveal a new color under there. Put on a, put on a glued on mustache and you're good for it, darling. And try to go to a way before Keith the Keeper Sutherland finds you. So, uh, there- Fuck, sake shit! For fuck's sake, god damn it! God damn, oyster motherfucker, I'm sorry, mom, I'm sorry, mom, I just-

First they want cake, then they want oysters, then they want oysters to have the cake, ah-ha! So then, uh,, Tom is going nuts, because he's doing his oyster still, and apparently out of nowhere, there's a grill on this boat. So he is running upstairs, that's grill. Like after all this time, there's a grill by the table.

So he's running upstairs to the grill, where he's got these gigantic steaks, he's running back downstairs, and up and down, and up and down. And he's running out, he's not doing well. I'm really, Molly is like, Oh, well. I'm lili moly is like oh well now I have to carry the responsibility of my partner Like wow, but you wish you had a value now beyond yes

Yes, seriously, so Alex starts helping Jess with the cab is like look at me. I'm gonna be cleaning some I'm cleaning like cabins. Okay. This is like we could crazy. I'm like, you know, I'm a deck him But I'm also doing cabins, okay? This is like, we could crazy. I'm like, you know, I'm a deck him, but I'm also doing cabins. This is crazy, you know? So then the guests are taking selfies and one of them's like, oh my God, my titties are gonna pop out of this dress. And the guys like, that's a rat, let him pop out.

And then, and by what these steaks are like huge and gorgeous. And when they're done, they're just sort of like sitting in like a Tray by the side of the by the side of the grill and one of the guests comes up with like a pocket knife and Slices off a piece is like well Pretty good. I'm like yours. It's probably an oyster shucker You know, you're right. You're right I want to have an oyster shucker. That fucker took it. I really want to like look up

Shucking in oyster without an oyster knife. There's got to be a method. That was a full on I can't. Yeah, we're in our 15 minutes into this weekend. We'll say that. No, I'm just saying that there is a method and people should know. I'm sure you can do it with a screwdriver avoid the cat. So we'll say that. No, I'm just saying that there is a method. And people should know. I'm sure. You can do it with a screwdriver, by the way,

restaurant hack, according to the gats of all places. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER The oyster, quote unquote, opened, quote unquote, nicely, quote unquote, but quote unquote, I had a hand injury. LAUGHTER Anyway. So these people come out, I just wrote tacky ass outfits. I don't even remember what they were wearing, I just said tacky ass outfits.

Yeah, they're really tacky and sure. It's like, yeah, when they threw that dildo in your room, Tatiana yelled at me. By the way, these oysters are full of shells. And they were like, yeah, my oysters are full of shells too. Yeah, ow, ow, shells, bruh. My teeth are hurting. My teeth are hurting from the shells. And they were like, my horses are full of shells too. Yeah, oh, cells. My teeth are hurting.

My teeth are hurting from the shells. I'm like, okay, shells are annoying. You were not biting down on a slab of grass. Okay. My teeth are hurting. And so one of the guys pulls a Lisa Rina. He's like, let's go around the table and say one nice thing about each other.

So one of the other guys goes, okay, you love your boobs you love your boobs you love your boobs you love your boobs and Tatiana I love your hair And there was that one woman who just had like a full-on helmet of hair. She she was like She's like I'm gonna tease the very back of my hair just in case someone's approaching from behind I'm like why is your hair going out so horizontally back there? What are you doing, lady? So then bugs have to go to Thomas. They told they had shells.

They want another round for three people. He's like, well, it's gonna take a while. She's like, no, no, all sorted out, all sorted out. And Malia goes, I mean, they ate them all. Yeah. Oh, Malia getting seroton karma is delicious. and then he goes, I mean, they ate them all. Yeah. Oh, Malia getting seroton karma is delicious. Seriously.

So then Alex is cleaning and he sees the big dill, don't he goes, oh, you know what? That's what you call a good dick in over there, right there. It's a good dick in her. It's a really good dick in her. Huh? So we get some scenes of Justin Alex whackily cleaning together and laughing a lot.

Like, hit that little brother. Um, so then Bugs tells the guest, she's like, you know, the chef would love love to try not get shells into oysters, but there's a lobster and tomahooks coming. Like, whatever. It's fine. Don't forget the cake that you ordered 30 minutes ago and also four hours which is a perfectly acceptable window to make a cake and one goes like where's my t-dos huh it's in front of you sir he's like oh yeah so now Mollia is helping Tom play and he's and he's served

up this honestly really very beautiful plate of butter poached lobster. It's like this nice lobster tail. It's beautiful. It has like a little potato. It does look like really. It looks very, very good. Everything is putting out. It looks great, you know? So he brings out this butter poached lobster, which of course, being butter poached, I think

it will therefore have sort of like, I think when things are poached, they sort of have like a like a software texture, right? Like that's the whole thing that this group just like, gently like massage by the water. So they, they're sort of this beautiful lobster. And they're like, it's raw. This is raw. I think this is a raw lobster here.

You know what I'm saying? It's raw. Yeah, it's raw. I don't like this. It's raw. I don't want the raw lobster. So Bugs has to tell Tom and he's like, theyached. I mean who is gonna now have to fry them? Post and then fry it who does that?

Sorry, I mean it's a poached vlog I'm here for hard to tell my mother one more time I posted and right again. I will get that host so bad. No, no, this is ridiculous It's ridiculous. This is madness. Purchase and fry it. Purchase and fry it. Oh, rock. I can't get another potato. Okay. Everyone don't touch the potatoes. Don't touch the potatoes. All right. Whatever you do. Do not touch the... Oh, bugs. No.

And bugs. He's like emptying the plates into the trash. And he's like, damn, the fucking bean. Where am I gonna get a potato cook now? Where am I gonna get it now? Well, however you're here, we are in the middle of the ocean. Only two cook potatoes between the five of us, and now you're throughout one of them. Where? He's like, I'm a fucking laughing stork. What's the point in me even coming on to the boat? And then he like goes into the walk-in with Malia and slams himself in there because I guess he thinks some mics can't work through the fridge or something. So he's like, this is bullshit. I'm good at what I'm doing. I've made a big fucking mistake. I've got way too much respect to do this. It's bullshit. It's bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

I want to be on a boat if you can't do it right, okay? You know what I saw? I called this. I called a cake with a bullshit frosting. I wouldn't even be able to make that cake because I ordered it too soon for myself. And then we see coming this season and it's a disaster. He's a fucking disaster and it's hilarious. He just throws all these fits and we finally see Captain Sandy like, you're gonna get down there and you're gonna do your goddamn job. I know. I also by the way I also like how Malia was trying to give him a pep talk in this final scene and she's like listen launch was amazing. Yeah

was amazing. Of course I was amazing. Okay. I only do amazing work but it was 10 times more effort than it had to be 10 times more effort. Okay, so next time, next time, they're not gonna get Osabuco and chicken and fish and a salad and muffins that I just made. And the side of bacon. Okay, next time they won't do that. I'm like, well, yeah. Sir, make sandwiches.

I don't know. They're the ones who serve Osabuco for lunch. Ugh. Oh, everybody. Well, that brings us to the end of Below Deck. So farewell, Hannah. Great job, all these seasons. And it's going to be great watching this downfall of Matt.

That's just hilarious. Yeah, I say maybe Hannah actually dodged a bullet because I think Matt is going to be a full-on disaster. And I just, oh, I'm so excited to see what happens next week with him. Anyway, ah, tomorrow we got some selling sunset and don't forget we had our, if you are into it, selling sunset, we had our interview with Christine Quinn on Monday, so go check that out too.

Okay, we'll talk to you guys later. Bye. Okay, we'll listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.