Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Last Chance Kitchen

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Below Deck Med tests Chef Mat again. It's his last chance to prove himself. Will he succeed or get fired or quit then come back? We just. Don't. Know. We do know that he doesn't understand ic...ing. This week's premium bonus episode is a shot by shot breakdown of the House of Gucci trailer (comes out Friday) Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've got a cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker Well, hello and welcome to watch what croppin's the podcast for all that crap that we just love to talk about.
Starting point is 00:00:48 I'm Rocky O'Brien, everybody. Hi. I'm Ronnie and over there is Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. What's up? Guys, you can catch Ben on this other podcast game brain. Kicked smart people like games.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Otherwise, we're just being stupid over here. I'll watch it. Regular amount of stupid. Welcome to below deck Mediterranean day. Yeah, welcome everyone. I am, I'm very sleepy. I'm not going to lie. I'm very sleepy. I'm trying to drink coffee to wake myself up. But the good news is that I feel like when I'm sleepy, then who know that that just means it's going to be a crazy podcast. I just feel like we're just going to say a weird shit, you know? And so I'm sleepy, then who knows? That just means it's gonna be a crazy podcast. I just feel like we're just gonna say a weird shit, you know? And so I'm excited for it.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Also, one thing that we have not done in forever, but I think really needs to be done is give a big thank you to our premium and super premium sponsors. We always go through a list of them at the end of the episode. And be sure to listen to that, those shout outs because it's just really so kind and lovely for everyone who contributes and donates on Patreon.
Starting point is 00:01:52 But especially our super premium and premiums, we love to give some love to them, because they really are fabulous, fabulous people. So thanks are super premiums and premium people. And with that in mind, I don't know if there's anything else to really announce. I mean, I have what I've said out sleepy and I thanked people. Is there really anything else that can be added to that? Well, go cats to crap and it's on demand videos this week. We will be, we did a house of Gucci trailer that was super fun on video and This week hopefully real housewives assault like city trailer is coming out
Starting point is 00:02:28 But we will be doing our real housewives recaps on demand So if you'd rather watch some recaps then listen you have that option now you can see how out we are So go over there listen But today is below deck Mediterranean day and the the title of the show is Camp Fight This Feeling, which I don't like. You know, I don't like you giving the title of that song to a molyo storyline. I love that. It's I sing that to myself every time I finally break down in order of pizza at the end of the week.
Starting point is 00:03:01 And I'm not supposed to. And I've just promised myself I'm not going to do it. And as it comes up, the stairs, I just think. I can't buy this feeling anymore. Now it's ruined. Yeah, who would have thought that they would have ruined Ario's speed wagon more like, Are you ready to go on a yacht? Huh? How about Areo Napaaggin? Okay. You want to write some good music? Areo Norma wagon.
Starting point is 00:03:33 So we open with Athena threatening to be one of the worst charter people in history. I feel like Athena is queen of the fake out on this show because Athena Lucine. She keeps acting like she's going to be the worst and then she's like, never mind your wonderful. I actually got annoyed by that because she's sort of simultaneously really awful but also really sweet and I'm like, I felt like she didn't even want to be demanding. I felt like was she told to be demanding? She just seemed so uncomfortable in her demandingness,
Starting point is 00:04:07 but then she was also, at the same time, still being demanding, and so it was annoying, but then she was also lovely at the same time. And I felt like every time I saw her, I was like, oh God, and then the scene would end and I'd be like, oh, Athena. Yeah, she's like, I'm just kidding. I'm very nice and love you all, very supportive.
Starting point is 00:04:28 So she is a self-help guru of some kind. Did we talk about this last week? Yeah, she's like a success counselor. There's something shady about the whole thing, to be honest. Like, you know, a success counselor and this is her seminar on these of the successful people and their Bitcoin investors. And then this is the, this is her seminar and these are the successful people and they're Bitcoin investors. And then this is Anita who manages them. The whole thing felt like lightly Ponzi-ish, right?
Starting point is 00:04:53 Like there was an element of Ponzi's game going through this whole thing. Well, I went to her Instagram because I have to know what this lady's about. And so I just want to read a little bit of first of all, her intro to her, her bio or whatever. Athena Lucine is a spiritual thought leader, author, coach, speaker and host of the Cosmic Celebrity podcast. Her, the Cosmic Celebrity. Perfist plus passion equals magical living. Purple hot star, purple hot star, purple
Starting point is 00:05:27 heart. So I looked through a bunch of her things and yeah she is just very self-helpy. She has one of the sunset and it says, feel the love and remember to breathe deeply star purple heart. We are the light and oneness of all existence. Sun, crown, lady dancing, emojis. Wow, that's deep. Yeah, that's really take all my money. Okay, here's all my money, Athena Lucine. Okay, I want to know what a cosmic celebrity is and I want to be rich as hell and beyond a yacht. So do whatever you need to do. I give myself a few Athena Lucine. It's working. The ruse is working, Ronnie. This is how she gets people. This is how she scams them, okay?
Starting point is 00:06:13 Like I'm in the thing ahead now. I'm a Lucine head now, guys. Ario Lucine wagon. So, um, so, but by the way, let's also not forget though, that from despite all this, six minutes after, six minutes after she requested food, she's already down there in the kitchen, asking where the food is, after only six minutes, and so she's really just like breathing down their neck, and then they plate the food and six minutes after plating. She's like, so yeah, we're running behind right now. So like, you know, we're just like very hungry. And Katie's like, we're literally like, we're just plating right now. You can see he's plating because he's already made
Starting point is 00:06:55 a little mound of dirt and he's crying. He's threatening to quit again. All right. So that's how you know the food's about to arrive. Okay, so you can go back to your seat. And one of the guys is like, when I don't eat, I lose my hungry. And then later, I can't eat.
Starting point is 00:07:09 I go, uh oh. Don't let him lose his hungry. Hurry up everybody. So Katie's stressing out. She's like, I'm trying to manage the boat. I'm trying to look at for guests, but I need to get to be there and not make it look like I'm not doing my job.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Why can't things go smoothly? So then the people they were waiting for at the table show up because they got their makeup done finally. And Athena's like, well, don't worry about it, guys, because they were running behind anyway. Ma'am, they were not running behind. You guys weren't at the table. Yeah, and it was only six minutes.
Starting point is 00:07:43 And yes, yes. So the people, some chair diva stuff. She goes, Katie, I'm a little uncomfortable sitting like this and she doesn't like it because she's not sad at the head of the table. She's sitting next to everybody. And so she wants to be at the head of the table. So Katie's like, oh, you feel uncomfortable? She's, yeah, I want to sit there. She says, all right, well, we can move you. Lady, move your chair over. What is anybody stopping you? Well, also, she feels awkward because it's basically what? It's like four, I think there's eight people at the table,
Starting point is 00:08:14 about eight or 10, but they're all half run one side, half run the other. So now, but she feels awkward sitting like that. So now, she moves to the head of the table, which means that there's now this awkward gap to her right. But so the person to her left is right there because they were sitting at the end of their side. And now she's vacated her end to see,
Starting point is 00:08:34 so now there's this awkward gap between her and the next person. I think that's actually significantly more awkward than what the initial setup was. Well, she just wants to be at the head of the table because she's the boss, I guess. So she gets it and she feels much better. And then we find out the Kalamari mystery. They like it.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Turned out it was fine. They like it. I guess they served only the rings and not those little baby entire Kalamari's, which are gross. I mean, they are good. They're delicious, but they're also delicious. Yeah, we all know we all go for the rings first, but I again, I push back
Starting point is 00:09:09 From last week at Matt trying to make her sound like she was this crazy diva at being like Making the creases was request. She basically said only serve the rings and don't overdo it with the Croatian stuff Like literally all that she asked for was like, oh my god, she just went so much, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. Shut up, Matt. So then, so now six minutes since the food has been served, Athena's like, I'm still hungry. So now she's like, what she really wants out and everything.
Starting point is 00:09:39 So it's telling that to Captain Sandy, because Captain Sandy's doing that thing where she comes to check. She's like, he has the food and she she's like we're starving. It's just well, the captain's got the next one ready. I'm gonna very casually go round down there and check on them. Oh my god. It's like, wow, wait, to keep your chill, Captain. And that's like Athena and her group at the worst case scenario for my last charter, but challenge accepted. Like the time I went to a sex party and they put me in a sling with
Starting point is 00:10:12 three dildos challenge accepted. Yeah, like the time I was on my way to a sex party and I saw a traffic cone in the middle of the street. Challenge accepted. Like the time I went to a sex party and tried to sweep up all the dirt into a little pile in the middle of the street. Challenge accepted. Like the time I went to a sex party and tried to sweep up all the dirt into a little pile in the middle of the room. Challenge accepted. Oh gosh, well Matt, I'll tell you this much. They might want to salad last minute, but I saw I'm taking a picture of their food. So that's good. That's good, isn't it? So then Katie is telling a thing that they're about to play it just Katie. I want to salad It's like oh see want to sell it instead of the main she's like no not instead of in addition to so Katie calls down and tells Matt He's like what is that Joe?
Starting point is 00:10:55 Challenge accepted Wow, I'm gonna have to start putting doilies on plates to make a salad. What a shit show. Challenge accepted. Why was he putting doleys on those plates anyway? What was it? I feel like Natasha from below the ex-hailing yacht would have been horrified with the daisies. She wouldn't be able to do her little splashes and dessert on them.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what he was serving as was he putting like a shrimp cocktail or something on top of them? I don't know, but was serving as was he putting like a shrimp cocktail or something on top of them? I don't know, but he was putting out a lot of doiles. I was actually surprised even had a doileus supply He's literally got everything do you remember the first day he bought out the entire store? It's like they needed another boat just to carry all the shit. He ordered He probably designed that meal around the doileus. He's like, well, it's my last charger. I have to use these doilees.
Starting point is 00:11:46 So then we get accepted. Awkward conversation with Malia and Zee, drying dishes. And she's like, so are you having a good day, Zee? And he's like, yes. Or you having a good day? And she's like, well, yeah, I mean, you guys are killing it, which helps.
Starting point is 00:12:01 That helps quite a bit. And he's like, well, drop that anchor today. So that was satisfying. And he just waits for approval, but she just keeps drawing. Yeah. And he just talks about how difficult it is to get into yawning and how everyone wants you to have experience. But then no one wants to give you experience of your green. And he says that he's still greenish, light green, moving towards the hill, et cetera. So we're still on this story of Z rising the ranks of, he's basically doing the Matrix.
Starting point is 00:12:36 He's doing the Matrix storyline of Yadding. I'm just hoping that we don't have another cliffhanger where her rope snaps and nearly kills them because that's like every episode. It's like Z! So, I think I was still looking around for her food and she's getting very upset about the food. She keeps looking at her watch and it's been nine minutes till the last course was cleared. So they start setting up the main and he's making the salad.
Starting point is 00:13:03 And so she's like, well for your mind, you have a Croatian lamb pica. And she's like, hold on, let me see about this. Let me see Katie. Mm, it's tender. Like, I can't, another threat. She's like, I will see if this is good. It is good, delicious, great job.
Starting point is 00:13:22 She literally acts like she's in the heart locker. She's like, wait, everyone, hold on, hold on, everyone, make a perimeter, okay? I'm going in. Checking out this lampie cut. Let me see. It's good. We're safe. We're done here.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Okay, guys, thank you. But feel free to bring up that salad anytime. It's right. So then Courtney is just starting to build some resentment. She's down doing cabins. And she's like, I hate doing beds. Fuck my life. So then a thing back to Athena. She's like, Lexi, Lexi, I'm going to need this table cleaned right here, this part right here. And she's like, okay, well, when we clear the
Starting point is 00:14:00 tables, we wipe the whole thing off. She goes, Oh, no, no, no, no. It's bothering me right now. So you need to come around and clean this. She's like, okay. So she does it. It's like, thank you. Thank you. Wow. Wow. It was just a weird flex. Part of me wonders if these flexes are part of her seminar. You know, it's probably like a step one. If you see something you want, you ask for it. You go over, you don't care what it makes you look like. I felt like she was trying to do things so that way later, she could point to them and show why her method works or something strange.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Maybe they just cut out a bunch of lines that make her not look like an asshole because you know how proper we'll do that. So maybe she's like, guys, I need this spot cleared and you did it and that shows that when we want something, we put it into action. And that's how we get what we want. Or like, you know what? I don't want to sit here.
Starting point is 00:14:51 I want to move there. You see how I just changed my position in the world. That's what we all need to do for ourselves, you know? But they cut out all the positive things and just make her look like a total dick. Yeah, or maybe there's just like some contextual elements that they just removed, like a burr, like a seagull just like landed on the table right there and then like pooped and then like flew off and she's like, could you please clean this? And we're like, fuck you, diva.
Starting point is 00:15:17 And she's like a seagull literally just sat there. And like she doesn't want to sit in those ones high on the table because there's like an exposed nail under the table that's that her knees hitting. They just make her look awful. So anyway, so Courtney, meanwhile, she's, you know, she's growing downstairs. She doesn't think it's fair that Lexi gets to be back on service. And you know, she's still just really mad. Ultimately that she had to change rooms on pick up day. So then Athena decides that she wants to go talk to Matthew. And she decides she wants to talk to Matthew. But then there's like a thunder clap and it's like lightning and
Starting point is 00:15:56 thunder. And I was expecting Athena to ask if she could speak with the weather. Like, hi, I'd like to speak with the weather. We'd like to not have rained night, please, thank you. Thanks so much, no rain, please. So they start putting covers on the furniture and then the captain goes up to the bridge and they've put Lloyd on night watch and he's not there. She's like, where is Lloyd? So then Katie is talking to this chef
Starting point is 00:16:21 and she's like, they're asking to see you and he's like, were they happy or not? I have no idea. Malish my method. Just kidding, it rhymes with that. Can you guess what it is? So he's like really nervous so he comes up there with his like, his goofy puppy dog guys.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Like the look he gives when he's quit for the fifth time and is trying to get his job back. He's like, hi everyone. And Athena says, did they tell you that we wanted to talk to you? It's been an interesting evening, huh? Yeah? Huh? And then we go to the show. Dun dun dun.
Starting point is 00:17:00 I'm about to be a monster. Usually, the courses continue to go in a progressive flow. Don't don't I'm gonna be the worst guest ever. But it worked out generously. You handled it very well. Just kidding I'm the best guest ever. Did you like how I worked in both the word progressive and flow together? That was pretty good. Success everyone.. Success. Also, I know that I also long as to working commercial actress of all time of all time. I also noticed that they were in a place called Zlaren Croatia. And I was like, of course, they're in like Jules Laren land right
Starting point is 00:17:36 now. Hi, welcome to the show. What you should have done, you should have called Bobby while you had the chance. Yeah, goodbye. So the captain is telling Lloyd, you know, when the wind gust, you gotta take care of the wind. You don't leave the bridge. Now, what happens when the wind gust? What I can tell you what happens when the stroke exchange, it's 90 and I'm sitting on a baseball bat in the desk and people are hitting me with books. No, no, no, focus. Stay on the bridge. Stay on the bridge. This is right. I trust you Lloyd. He's like, oh, she's the best boss I've ever had. He's the best boss. Lloyd has, as we find out, has been through the ringer with his last boss and now just like anyone who shows him a shred of kindness He's like, she's the most confident and wonderful balls
Starting point is 00:18:31 So meanwhile Courtney is just still crappy. She's still in the laundry room. Just So angry about the cab and she just they just keep cutting towards in a full, you know, jam Brady Hissy fits full, you know, jam Brady, hissy fit mode. Like, part of it, my service down here. I was the one, I don't want to change my ring, I don't want to change my mind, I don't want to see it to go and service, daddy. So then upstairs, she's not too bad. MM Katie is like, well, you know, Lexi likes being on service and she's doing a good job on the guest like her. So, I don't think it's fair to take that away from it just because she calls the little drama, which is totally the problem with Courtney.
Starting point is 00:19:10 She's like, this bitch comes in here and, you know, makes an ass out of herself. So now we all have to kiss her. But yeah, exactly. And so now Lexi's just like talking to the, she's hanging out with the guest. There's one guest named Jack Pot and he's talking about income. I feel like I don't want financial advice from someone named Jack Pot, only because Jack Pot is like.
Starting point is 00:19:33 It's like gambling, right? Gambling. It's like literally like the most unreliable thing. Yeah, good Jack. Hi, would you like some financial advice? Advice, my name is slot machine. So. I know, my name is roulette. Um, and he says really meaningless things.
Starting point is 00:19:52 This kind of advice makes me crazy. He's like, you know, Lexi, you're in control of your income. If you want more, you get more. Oh, really? Is that how it works? Okay. Okay. Okay. It's like when people talk or give diet advice, they say,
Starting point is 00:20:08 the way you lose weight is you burn more calories than you eat. Oh, okay. Thanks. Yeah. So then now Mac goes into his room, like, what a day. Huh? And then Katie is talking to her friend on the phone. And Lexi is just like muttering to herself. and then David wakes up in the middle of the night Really the only thing that was worthwhile out of this little montage was that Courtney reached over for her phone and dropped like a shelf of electronics A Malia's face in the middle of the night. Yeah, so then in the morning Malia and David are in the mess and she's like So how to go last night David He's like brilliantly and then there's just awkward silence and she tells us, so how to go last night, David, he's like, brilliantly. And then there's just awkward silence. And she tells us,
Starting point is 00:20:48 there's always that fine line where you want to just like, you know, let him down, but not be a bitch, but also you want to be stern enough so that he doesn't do it again. Yeah. And Courtney, everyone just were doing morning stuff, etc. Katie said she didn't sleep well, because Lexi apparently has like a million things that keep flashing and lighting up the cabin. So now the guests are putting in their breakfast orders and they're not going to do a proper service.
Starting point is 00:21:15 Katie won't do a proper service. They're just going to eat when they want to eat. So now Athena is back in the galley and now she's asking about cakes. Cakes are like the bane of Matt's existence. She wants one cake that will say happy birthday, FX Capital, which I would think it should be happy anniversary, but no. Who am I?
Starting point is 00:21:32 And then she wants a logo on the cake, and then she wants a second cake that should say Project Millionaire, and she just wants like two wonderful cakes. So in my mind, I'm thinking, if you're gonna do a cake on a yacht, you're gonna do like a two-tier cake with rounds, right? Like I think that's just like a given.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Am I crazy? No, that's, yeah, I would think so too. Yeah, or call for the cakes. Call for the cakes. For the cakes, people. You've already done it. You've already done. Right, just, it's a special cake. You don't make cakes.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Carp for the cake. Yeah. So then Matt is talking after that, Matt's talking to Courtney in the gallery. So any nicknames, my nickname is Harry penis. Let. Is that to keep you out? Oh, and she's like, well, I've always wanted to be Coco. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Despite both Selena and the Beaver's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. Local one there cake. Coco challenge accepted. So then Lloyd is talking about the bridge. She's like well I was on the bridge but then I went off the bridge and then the wind started blowing so then I went back on the bridge It was quite no deal and so well if the wind blows you stay on the bridge He's like right right right here. Melia has been a breath of fresh air compared to my last boss
Starting point is 00:24:01 I I don't even want to talk about it. Not even a little bit. I do not want to talk about it, producers. Stop asking me. Malia, let me tell you something. I got a brilliant word of the day today. Sintila. Not to speak. Confused with... Karabella or... Karab... Passas. Sintila. And she's like, great, thanks.
Starting point is 00:24:26 So there's a gorilla, which would be a squinting gorilla. But I'm not sure if that's actually in the dictionary, but for today, we've stopped with Sintila, which is a spark as opposed to the whole of something. And she's like, great, I like that. But thanks. Thanks for telling me that incredibly common word. I have another word for you the word is tons as in there are tons of things to do it's what are the day tons. So balloon delivery and Matt's like the adventures of cake boy cake girl
Starting point is 00:25:06 Gordy cocoa So now we get the first glimpse of this cake and it looks like a ghost that someone stepped on It's like it's like a Pac-Man goes. I'm just like walking to the world Just trying to find Pac-Man and then someone stepped on the ghost and the ghost got basically compressed and the ghost is like I didn't think I could get stepped on because I'm a ghost but I guess I got stepped on and now where I am I'm a step on ghost. Terrible, flat little ghost and then it's like okay well you're gonna make the logo right? Okay, look Courtney lovely girl okay fun girl sweet, you know, we know that she's gonna help. She's always gonna say, she's always gonna be the one to raise her hand in class.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Like in the beginning of the season, when the chef was gone, she's like, well, I'm a nanny, maybe I can put something together for food. It was terrible, okay. Do not ask Courtney for help. Now she's supposed to ice this cake and make it this gorgeous logo. She's taking the food dye and just squeezing it directly onto the cake
Starting point is 00:26:07 instead of like mixing it with icing to make actual icing. Did you notice that? Okay, that makes a lot more sense. Well at first I thought it was I when she was writing I thought it was like that stuff that they put on like a TCBY cake, right? I thought it was like the sugar stuff, but you're right, because then when she scraped it, it died it. So it looked ridiculous anyway. Like that's not how you, first of all, the fact that it was a sheet cake, and it wasn't even like a,
Starting point is 00:26:34 it wasn't even like an elegant sheet cake, because you could do a sheet cake, you could do an elevated sheet cake, right? But it was just like the frosting was sort of like, was like mounting up on the sides, it was like high in the middle, and it was like, if I made it, it's like you sort of like, was like, mounting up on the sides. It was like, high in the middle. And it was like, if I made it, if like, you came over and I was like, Hey, why don't I make a cheesecake for us?
Starting point is 00:26:51 That's the cheesecake I would make, right? But like, if you're on a yacht, it looked ridiculous. And then she comes and she writes, she was totally the die. She was writing with die, which is absolutely insane. Also insane that like, I just wanna think about everything. Like why wouldn't you say something? Why wouldn't he say, you don't put that directly on it.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Do you mix it with ice? I mean, it was crazy. These people are gonna have some poop problems, okay? You're supposed to have like a one drop of dye. We'll do a whole thing of icing, okay? It's just putting like entire tubes of dye. People are gonna be pooping out the weirdest colors for like a week.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Yeah, I just, it didn't make any sense. And so she writes happy birthday and it looks ridiculous because it looks like, it looks like eye maze, it doesn't look like a super yacht, right? And first of all, Matt is a chef, a yacht chef, and he should know how to decorate a cake. I'm sorry, he should know how to do it, okay? So, he's riding it and then she's like, oh, this looks like a chore.
Starting point is 00:27:49 This is terrible. I'm just going to scrape it off. So when she goes to scrape it off, she's using this green dye. So then it turns this dark green, like, long color, like an unattractive green color. And so then they decide that they want, they're gonna make it the, the logo, the logo is like green and yellow, so they make it into like two triangles, but they just kind of spread the dye around on top, so it looks like a crayon almost. Like why didn't you mix half your frosting with one color, half with another, you know, like it's crazy. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then meanwhile, the captain tells Malia,
Starting point is 00:28:32 hey Malia, whose life are we gonna change today with education and lifting up their soul into a leadership position. And she's like, David, David, if you want, you can go to the bridge with Sandy. And she's like, like David be my guest. Here's your thruster, here's your future. Let's get started.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Captain Sandy would have be terribly forward if I asked you to be my girlfriend. I'm sorry that's not gonna work out just hold on to the thruster. No taking thank you very much. Malia is a great leader. She delegates. She offers up opportunities, obviously she's attractive. But what attracts me to her the most
Starting point is 00:29:10 is her strength and her work ethic. God, I love Malia. So Courtney, I think it came up with pretty much the best work around that I think that they could probably come up with given their situation. She prints out little signs that say happy fourth birthday, like very, it's still very childlike, but she prints them out and she cuts them into like sort of starbursts and everything and she attaches them onto two picks and six and I think it's better than if she had
Starting point is 00:29:42 tried to actually decorate the cake themselves. So, you know, I give her credit for a sort of, you know, arts and crafty work around, right? Yeah. So then we go over to Lexi and Katie. They're doing the table settings for dinner. And Lexi's like, I want to do a great gaspie party, but I want Leo to be there. And Katie goes, oh, I've met him. My first party in Cannes. She's like, yeah,'ve met him, I, my first party in Cannes. She's like, yeah, well, I heard he really likes
Starting point is 00:30:07 the party in Cannes. Oh, he does. And he likes his models. Oh, he does. I hear it from my friends who are models and beauty-papted people like me, but poor. Like their poor versions of me, basically. I hear he likes matchbox cars.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Oh, if you don't like me, and chopsticks. Oh, yes, and forks that only have two times. Oh, family, you do. Lexi, you do. Um, so, uh, let's see, Mike docking. Uh-oh, you know what? We're gonna have to dock at night because of the weather. And it's hard at night because of the weather and it's hard Because it's dark which means it's hard to see because it's dark You know what makes it easy to see light which comes from sun which happens in the daytime Which it's not which is gonna make this difficult? You know kuse D is really important. Hey, let's look at that footage of the rope that sort of went a little fast And we all thought Z died. Let's see that again. Let's see the rope and like, Z
Starting point is 00:31:08 no. Oh God. Remember we thought he died. Oh God, it's the ghost of Z. Oh, you're alive. Oh, thank God. Oh, so let's see, two dolphins, two dolphins. Turn off the real lens. Don't worry. And then Lexi has tons of balloons and so they make it look like this kind of crazy comedy where they're trying to dock at night but then Lexi's coming with tons of balloons but they're about to dock but the balloons are coming but the dock is coming but the balloons are about to fly in captain said space what is about to happen like they're about to dock but there were so many balloons that the yacht lifted
Starting point is 00:31:45 out of the water and floated over to Panama. So they were building something there, but they're like, nope, just can we dock and the balloons got, you know, what balloons get, which is tied to chairs. Good job everybody. They like to build as much chaos into docking as possible by crosscutting, and since balloons are inherently chaotic, they're like, great, this is the perfect prop for this scene. Balloons, just show the balloons again.
Starting point is 00:32:07 More, more, more. So now Athena goes down into the galley to see the cakes and she sees the signs and she's like, hmm, I am disappointed. And she has every right. This is where the context clues have not been edited out. She has her disappointment makes full sense. I totally support it.
Starting point is 00:32:27 I totally get it. And she's like, I wanted like a two tier or a three tier cake, like not this like pile of dough with sugar frosting, right? Yeah. And he's like, oh, what's just a point in, but you know what, that sucks. But you just to keep moving on I got a name for rapper Coco and Courtney's like I told you she expected extravagant
Starting point is 00:32:52 So then dinner of course they're like oh my god, we're so hungry We're so hungry and then we get one of Matt's classics where he just calls things deconstructed to sound fancy I'm so glad you were bringing this up. What is a deconstructed Caprese salad? A Caprese salad is slices of cheese and tomato. That's all it is. It's already deconstructed. The only way can become more deconstructed is to put each one in its own corner of a plate.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Okay. And that's not what it was. It was literally just a Caprese salad. I totally noticed that tune that made me so mad. It was like the most deconstructed salad there is. Yeah, so they get their deconstructed caprese salad and then they start laughing because they're like, wow,
Starting point is 00:33:34 I noticed the portions are a lot bigger this time. Yeah, and he serves like a baby lobster that Athena thinks is a shrimp. And I don't blame her. By the way, give me a full size, give me an adult lobster, not a baby lobster, okay? First of all, you need the baby lobsters because you need them to grow up in the world
Starting point is 00:33:52 and have sex and have other baby lobsters and then be, okay? So then Matt is telling Malia, I think, oh my God, oh I really don't want to leave the boat He's doing his whole like sad sad campaign. I'm like, oh, I really like it here. Oh, man as if he wasn't awful It's the second time he's like Flaked out and now he's doing the whole trying to try to sort of guilt every like guilt everyone, but you know be the sweet boy
Starting point is 00:34:23 Yeah, no, no, no, no. Yeah, I know, sir. So yeah, he's all sad about it. And then they start taking pictures and Katie's like, well, they're even happy with the cakes after all that. And so then the thing is like, wow, he's really good at desserts, too. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:34:41 He just gave you the worst cakes of all time. But whatever. And one of the guys is like, like, I just want to appreciate it. Say thank you. I appreciate everyone here. Let's keep creating moments like this. Okay. And then we see Jackpot doing like an Instagram video in a row, but be like, living in my best life on 150 foot yacht. Like, that is the most air typical Ponzi scheme video, right? I'm sure the guy who did the fire fest has a video of him in a robe on a yacht somewhere
Starting point is 00:35:12 and be like, ah, yeah, fire fest where you get to live on yachts. Like, if you ever see a video of someone in a robe on a yacht, you know, promising you the most amazing experience of your life, it's a scheme. It's a con. Don't fall for it. Yeah. So then Lexi and Katie talk and Katie's like, uh, Katie is like, well, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:33 it was all right. I mean, a thing is just a thing, oh, yes. And Lexi says, yeah, demanding isn't even the word. And so we see Lexi doing late night vacuuming. And Lexi has just been on her best behavior, right? She's like, look at me saying nothing ever except fun things and staying up late without complaining too loudly. Yeah. And my favorite part of all the night ends with a cat on the dock. So then it's the morning and Courtney is making some juice. I don't know. It's so funny every week. Where I was like, why do we write this stuff down? Why am I writing down the Courtney is making juice?
Starting point is 00:36:06 Like it literally makes nothing to do with anything. So it's Matt's last day and then we see, there's this scene of Z reading something off the Facebook. I didn't really hear what he was saying, but it was something about like a stain and getting rid of a stain. I'm getting deep on sitting balls and high diving because you came up right up to her.
Starting point is 00:36:26 I wrote, huh, I don't get it. Ben will. That's what I wrote. I said, I don't get it and I'm not going back to get it. But then Malia's like, what are you thinking? And Lloyd said, I guess she says that to, I don't know, she says. Yeah, because they're looking at girls on Instagram, basically. And Dave says, I am a bit high a mate in Somalia comes in. And she's like, what, Lloyd, what is that shit eating grin on your face? And he's like, I'm just thinking of what a complete and utter failure.
Starting point is 00:36:57 David is with women and they all start cracking up. Yeah. And so now, Athena's telling Sandy how great the food was and Sandy is like Matthew hasn't had any complaints about the food Matthew's problem is Matthew, okay? He's a creep and even his but even himself. He knows he's a creep. Okay. That's the problem. Okay, so then they're serving breakfast And now Matt is doing it up again more of this bullshit. Oh wow, it's trying to sink in. I mean, this is it. This is the end. This is the season for not series finale of cheers. We're closed. Oh man, maybe I'll go off and get married to Shelley log, but I won't. I'm going to come back and keep on running the bar. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:37:43 So then it's time for the guest to leave. So they're all live. Everybody's lined up outside. And the theme that comes down is she's like Captain Sandy. Thank you. Katie. Thank you. Lexi. Thank you. You. I'm sorry. I don't remember you.
Starting point is 00:38:01 Has she been here the whole time? Jan Brady, Jan Brady impersonator, thank you so much. I'm sorry we didn't get to see you a bit. You know, I'm trove is great. My name is Courtney. Okay, well nice to meet you, finally, lady who hasn't been here this whole time. I've been here the whole time.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Okay, whatever you say, what was it? What'd you say, cottage, cattillion? What's your name? Oh, it doesn't even matter. Bye bye now. Also, the rest of the guests are wearing red and white checkered shirts. I don't understand what that was about, but it bothered me. So,
Starting point is 00:38:34 I wrote a dress like Italian restaurant tables. I don't really know what to say. That was about. I was like, they're all gonna balance canollies on their head. So, so then Athena is like, honestly, thank you so much. It was beautiful pampering, aside from those times when I had to tell you to clean, you know, a random spot on the table. Truly magical moments. Thank you so much. Bye bye. And then she's like so sweet and like so warm and smiling. And she leads and
Starting point is 00:39:00 like, it's my big way. But I was like, oh, Athena. So then, um, Captain calls Matt to the bridge. and she's like, you know, I was in my cabin. I was thinking, I was thinking about it, lying in heart, you know, this is a hard situation for me. If, you know, if I was wind, it would be a tornado because here I am forming, forming, forming, don't want to kill anybody, but it's in my nature when things are in my way. So here's the thing. I need to be able to, oh, sorry, I'm gonna need to take a moment
Starting point is 00:39:27 and digest Dorothy's aunt's house. Hold on a sec. All right, I'm back. Okay, I just need to be able to trust my crew. Okay, now I know everyone has their breaking points, but you came back, you came back. points but you came back, you came back. That showed you care or don't have another job. And you'll command your galley, you have passion on what you do, everyone loves you except for most of the crew and the clients, some people on Craigslist, they all love you.
Starting point is 00:40:02 And I want to finish with the crew I start with. It's like you and those parties you always talk about, you just want to finish, right? So I'm going to trust you to finish the season out. Now, in other words, long story short, Luca ended up leaving the hotel room and getting COVID. OK, so we're stuck with you. So here's what I found out.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Long story short Luca and Dushka they kind of have a thing going on in the pirate ship. It's hard to really get between the two of them So it's gonna be their you are Courtney's so let's finish with the crew we have right? You know, I was actually the preacher on their boat, which is actually stationed right next to us and their vows were solid and meat it was beautiful. It was a beautiful day right next to us and their vows were solid and meat. It was beautiful. It was a beautiful day. So Mack, I was, oh well, I'm gonna behave myself
Starting point is 00:40:53 and I understand when you made that decision, it was a humbling decision, but this means the world to me. I can't wait to make more sloppy cakes for your guests. Oh, thanks Sandy. I can't wait to deconstruct sloppy cakes for your guests. Oh, thanks, Sandy. I can't wait to deconstruct some already deconstructed things. Wow. I hope you guys are hungry for nothing for lunch, okay? So they have tip-meeting next.
Starting point is 00:41:22 And the captain's like, well, thanks for joining us Matthew He's like thanks for letting me captain Lexi thanks for keeping your crazy head in the crazy game, okay now guys Here's what we had a complete reset of game on which is incredible So thank you, and I going to thank you just like a theme that thanks you with a nice fat tip of the lowest tip of the season. So enjoy that. It was $1500. $100. Split up.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Six ways. Oh Courtney, I almost forgot about you. Well, I guess it's even less money for everyone. It would have been more than but she forgot Courtney was on the boat. So. So now a Courtney is like crying again downstairs. She's making a bed. She's crying. She knows she's heard the theme of forgot her name. Lexi was got a pound of back. She just feels really unappreciated. So she's just sort of doing quiet sniffling. And now we get everyone watching and getting dressed and everything. And then Malia, Malia's British really comes out when she asks the question, right? So here we see her telling Courtney,
Starting point is 00:42:30 are you excited about tonight? Where does this act that come from? And Courtney's like, well, I'm over people getting patted on the back for not being absolute cut fitnesses. And then Malia starts laughing. And then it's time to go out. And so Lexi's like, um,'s time to go out. And so Lexi's like, um, last time we went out, like there wasn't really friendly.
Starting point is 00:42:50 So I'm going to want to drink, but I don't want to go overboard because I need there to be friendly. Yeah. So now they're all getting into vans and, um, and David's talking to Matt and he goes, if there's a girl, I would generally be with, he would be Malia. Malia is just, he's not just a fine line. The last thing I want to do is overstep the mark,
Starting point is 00:43:13 silence is golden with that one. Until I make the first move, and if there's ever a first move to make it, I can't see for my hand. He's like, he's like, he's like, because Matt's being so gross, he's like, so here we are in the van. Hey guys, might be a bang-free season this season
Starting point is 00:43:26 Hey, would Lexi be the one that you're bang if you were gonna bang anyone tell me how you're being Lexi tell me about it Jesus, you're so creepy Like you know that some I just so terrible when people that some I just so terrible when people when people just can't do that kind of talk right, you know, I don't know what you call that like I don't want to be like sex talk and it's not really it's not really the lock room talk is just adults talking about sexuality and relationships, but when there's that one person who just always gets a lot of creeps out because anybody else could be like, Hey, is anybody getting laid this season? Is there anybody you guys want to hook up with?
Starting point is 00:44:07 It's fine, but it's the whole like, who would you bang? You even bang Lexi? Who did you buy a cream on? Huh? Stop it. Like a little bit to you paint too realistic a picture. So, um, sorry, everyone, that's a really visceral.
Starting point is 00:44:27 We all have that image now, especially in the same episode as that cake, you know? Yeah, you've had a lot today. You've had like imaginary sploge sessions on a lot of people today, actually in our other recaps. I think this is like your third, your third imaginary sploge. Did I, I don't remember the other sploge references I made. And show some sunset somebody sploged on somebody. And Michael Darby, of course, probably sploged on somebody in real house.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Oh, man, I'm having a very sploge forward day. Very sploge forward day of recap. Very sploge forward. What can I say? Oh, Jesus Christ. So is that gizmo in this recap? So, um, so, remember you didn't know what jism was because you didn't know it had two syllables? Well, I only knew what jism was. I thought jism, I mean, I was able to do, I was able to
Starting point is 00:45:18 deduce what it was. I just had a word people call it in its full proper name. You know, I'm, I'm, I've only heard it being used as jizz. I guess that's just my- I guess that's not- You didn't know the Latin root word for it. I didn't know the proper name for it. No, I did not know that. It's like the first time you find out
Starting point is 00:45:37 that Gigi's real name is Goldenness, it's like, wow. So now that everyone's at a restaurant and they're all ordering food and drinks and she used to know one quitting tonight. So then Courtney, Courtney starts explaining her alter ego, which is Chloe. And she's like, Chloe's just drunk Courtney. She's a hoe. And the funny part is they just show a random picture of Courtney. Just like, it's like her sightseeing and like, Chloe's drunk Courtney. I'm like, oh, so is this, is this drunk,
Starting point is 00:46:10 Hoey drunk Courtney is just this like benign lady, like sightseeing right now. Like, look at that slut sightseeing. God, and Matt's like, everyone needs a nickname. Who are you gonna be Z? And he's like, everyone needs a nickname. Who are you gonna be Z? And he's like, on Maverick. And then Mollie is like, you know what, Z, like I really like that your generation. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman.
Starting point is 00:46:36 You guys just like get things done. And he's like, well, it is a very masculine world that we live in, you know, this yachting. And there aren't many black people in the industry either. And she goes, yeah, it is a very masculine world that we live in, you know, this yachting. And there aren't many black people in the industry either. And she goes, yeah, I wanted to ask you, how have you felt being a black person in the industry? And he says, well, when I was with my brothers, they said that me being a black guy trying
Starting point is 00:46:57 to get a job will put me 10 times back from white guys who are green, which sucks. And so he talks about that a little bit and how now things are changing pretty rapidly and so there are more eyes on things and it makes it more difficult for people to be discriminatory, which is good. And then Lloyd is saying, well, I hope in the next 10 years, you know, things will change
Starting point is 00:47:21 because on my last vote, my captain would say, bleep. I think he said the f word. Um, he would say the words like that horrible, horrible words. Yeah, so, um, yeah, he's saying how basically Lloyd starts saying how owners can hire whoever they want regardless of race or sex or orientation. It's just like not fair, but that's just the way the world works. So yeah, so, you not fair, but that's just the way the world works. So yeah, so they addressed that. And also, I thought I was odd that Malia was like,
Starting point is 00:47:51 your generation, as if she's like, friggin' patty lapone or something. When I was a yachting back in 1974, it's like Malia, you're like 28. I know, she's like, old man of the sea over there. Your generation. So then Matt paints for dinner, you know, to sort of like, yeah. Malia finishes the conversation by going, Z, don't worry, on deck, you're just green.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Which one was funny. So then Matt's back. So what do we put the tube? What do I put the gist of tip? Gist of tip on my right? Cornhole? Gist of tip. And then they all get back in their vans I put it here. Why did I put it just to tip just to tip my right cornhole just to to and then they all get back in their vans and Courtney's with Z and he's like Chloe and Maverick together daddy, which is like my favorite is when the two of them get drunk like
Starting point is 00:48:37 I love their drunk relationship. It's so cute and funny like I just love them and map paid for that whole dinner, by the way. Yeah. So then Lloyd is in the other car with Mollie and Katie. And he's like, thanks for being such a good boss, Mollie, because I came from such a toxic work situation. OK, this poor guy has been trying to jam the storyline in here all day,
Starting point is 00:49:00 and no one will let him, right? So he brings it up the gut. He's like, it was so toxic. My work situation. She goes, yeah, well, you know what? I really want to make dick fun because I really believe that it can be fun. And so she starts going off on some mom log about how she's going to change deck life. This poor guy's never going to get it in. And you all Matt is like, I spent $150,000 and sex last year.
Starting point is 00:49:26 And like, he goes, I believe that. I believe it, too, to be honest. And Courtney is like, yeah, whether you go to sex parties, you pay for it and you own it, you'll know. Actually, you don't pay for the sex, you just pay for it. And then they kind of stop him and start talking about something else. And I was like, I want to hear that. What is he going to say? He's not paying for this.
Starting point is 00:49:45 X parties just the valet. Like, what was he going to say? I need the end of that sentence. They're like, can we talk about literally anything else right now? Like, can we talk about coronavirus? Can we talk about, I don't know, literally anything other than Matt's paid for sex life? Yeah. So now they all wind it back on the boat
Starting point is 00:50:05 and everyone's partying. And Malia and Lexi have like a nice little scene in their room where there's sort of like they're kind of burying the hatchet and Malia's talking about how she was like, I really am sincere. Like I was being sincere and everything. And she pulls this line again where she says,
Starting point is 00:50:19 if we all got judged by our boozy nights, we'd all get kicked off the boat. So I should probably give her a second chance, which did not actually sound very sincere. I'm like, yes, you should. Like, you are gonna put judge around their boozy night, whether you lay it or not, you are going to. Yeah, I'm like, she's like, well, I know.
Starting point is 00:50:38 I feel sorry for judging you, because really, like you're authentic, and I took all that the wrong way. It's like you're both full of shit right now, but hey, you know what, at least you're authentic. And I took all that the wrong way. It's like you're both full of shit right now, but hey, you know what, at least you're making an effort at work, right? So then the hot tub isn't on. So they decided to party in the main salon instead
Starting point is 00:50:53 and David Whitsoff is sure it's again. Yeah. Oh my goodness. And then wow. Yeah, it's, there was, I mean, nice work and everything. It's just, this is an awkward crew. This is a very awkward crew.
Starting point is 00:51:05 So Lexi is having some water and they're like, Lexi, come join us, have a shot. I'm just gonna have a banana tonight. They're like, well, have a shot and then chase it with the banana. And she's upset because she feels like last time she got drunk and everyone was unhappy. And now she's trying to be better
Starting point is 00:51:24 and now they're trying to get her drunk. And like, she's like, do they want me riled up or not? I'm like, yes, they want you riled up. Of course, that's exactly what their plan is. They want to like build a case against you. Yeah, but they were mad that you were drunk. They were mad that you were in asshole. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:51:39 So now David's like just watching Molina dance. Like, and then Lloyd is dancing with Lexi. And I was just dancing in Courtney and Dada are dancing close. And Courtney's like, I love Z. He's so cute. I don't think I've ever squatted so much when I've been dancing. And then she talks about how like, if they're nice to me, I end up not liking them whereas if they're horrible and we don't end well, then want them I sound crazy I swear I'm not I swear I'm not crazy I'm not crazy no excuse me but I go back to crime by why I make my beds
Starting point is 00:52:12 because someone forgot my name thank you. So then Matt leaves and he's like I've been redeeming myself all season so I don't need another reason you know I'm gonna just sit this one out with my hands down my pants while they think about stepping on bugs. Oh yeah. So now David decides to go in and make his moves. He goes up to Malia and he goes, could I, oh, batam, batam, batam because she's dancing and so she almost hits him in the face.
Starting point is 00:52:39 He comes in and goes very awkward. Usually it's good to batam, but I'm just like four. He's like, well, remember, the question asked you last charter, Malia. Remember that question? Is that a yes you remember? And she's like, yeah, and she was, is that a yes you remember the question?
Starting point is 00:52:55 Or no, because you gave me a maybe on that one. So, you know, give me a no or leave it alone or give me a yes or I'll be like, you'll be like, fucking, oh, okay, just leave it alone or give me a yes or I'll be like you'll be like fucking oh Okay, just it's they just start dancing like dancing in a circle while like not really He's being sort of like a liptical but dancing in a circle and it's just like Everyone's watching them right because they've all seen him staring her down the whole night like yeah
Starting point is 00:53:21 I'm going to get me a piece of that. And so they're all kind of watching him and Lord's like I was yearning for him to look at my eyes so I could be like don't, don't do it. And he's like all right so come on now what do you think? And then Lloyd tells Katie what's going on and Katie looks over and she goes oh no he's dreaming please no oh god no. It's the out of his mind. And so then David is like, so he literally says, I'm gonna spin around until he give me an answer. Emily was like, uh, and he goes, can you sit for a moment?
Starting point is 00:53:53 I'm fully into you. And she's like, okay, so that she's, now they sit down in the middle of this. I'm so hard to walk, so I can't look at these. He's like, I genuinely love everything about you. And they're just like all laughing. You're a powerful woman that every girl should aspire to be. You're the equivalent of my mum to me. Is this making me more attractive? She goes, I'm like your mother. And he's like, oh, gosh, well, I really don't like silence. I don't like to just keep it in.
Starting point is 00:54:25 And she's like, um, well, I've had a really rough yeah. And I just wanna be single. All the single ladies, all the single ladies, you know? And he's like, so I'll do away then. And she's like, yeah, yeah. All right, one last question. Do you think it give me a bedtime story, mom? Is that possible?
Starting point is 00:54:48 I'm like, no, no, I can't do that. So, um, uh, yeah, Katie and Lloyd are talking in the corner and Katie is saying that Malia respects her job way too much for anything to happen. And Lloyd's like, well, you know, I went to a job where I was God to 50 people, you know, called the leadership books at my head, et cetera. And then I went to Yawting and was treated like shit by my captain.
Starting point is 00:55:12 He called me and then it's like the F word, the gay F word. And he goes, I mean, like, I'm 90% straight, which I thought was sort of a funny percentage, diagnostic, you know? So Katie is like, babe, no one cares. And then he starts to cry. And I didn't realize when he said I'm 90% straight that he was, I guess he was sort of coming out as bisexual. I mean, yeah, he's been trying this whole episode to come out as bisexual.
Starting point is 00:55:36 No one will let him finish the fucking sentence. So now he does. And she's like, no one cares. And she said, so does it matter? Look at me. And he's solving now. Like he's really crying. And she's like, one cares and she said so's it mattered look at me and he's solving now like he's really crying And she's like you're a beautiful person. I mean you're so slightly insane even if you guy. I mean it's okay So you guys you're still a good person
Starting point is 00:55:56 I don't have that sounded to me and he said Emily is like um, let's go give him a hug right now. So everybody hugs him. And he's like, but I go call the F word. And he's like, Lord, we support you. We support you. And he's like, sobbing. He's like, this is the first time that people want to talk to me. And then Lexi walks in and I got so scared. I was like, oh no, please Lexi don't ruin this moment But she's okay and they're just being really nice and then Courtney and like Z are sort of just like drunk and meandering about it I think at one point they just enter in they're so confused by what's happening. They're just so wasted that two of them And Malia's like, you know Lloyd I went to college and I swung both ways and I still do.
Starting point is 00:56:45 I still do, which means that David, you have twice as much competition. Sorry, buddy. And he's like, if David's like, if the world was full of more Lloyd's, imagine how great it would be. And Malia says, yeah, I don't want you to feel like you can't be yourself. I mean, you know, these guys on this boat aren't those guys. And so Malia tells us that this industry is still really toxic and how shitty it is and stuff And then she has her crying moment
Starting point is 00:57:10 Yeah, and then Z and Courtney are just wasted Just like like are there grilled cheese around like what's happening here? There's anything we can eat so then Lloyd's like Malia, you are the best boss I've ever had. You know David was so sick. That was my line. That's my line with Malia. How could you use my line?
Starting point is 00:57:33 And so then Lloyd talks about the fairing scale, which is a kinsy scale I think he means. And he's like, you know, if the scale wants to move up or down, what is anyone care? It's something I've had on my mind since I was in school, but there were very few people to talk about it with. And it's really cute, so good for you, buddy.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Good for you, Lloyd, and that's where it ends. So that was the episode. Thanks everyone for listening. We're gonna be back tomorrow with a recap of Real Housewives of New York. And then later in the week, we'll have, of course, Beverly Hills. So last to look forward to and be sure to sign up for Crappens on demand for our videotaped, not videotaped,
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