Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: No Ifs, Ands or Frozen Halibuts

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

Chef Tom has hissy fits all over the boat on this week's Below Deck Med, and Captain Sandy gives him a firm talking to. And by talking to we mean hug. This week's bonus episode is a recap of ...The Home Edit, which you can find at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people lose their hands, they can't guess what happens, but there's so much that happens. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappin'. The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about! Hanno Bros, and Netflix too, and whatever else we like, cake and I for ass.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Uh, hi, it's me Ronnie, and that's been over there, hi Bane. Hey Ronnie, what's up? Hi you. Hi you. Everyone, welcome to the show today. Go get your mask. We still got mask if you need them and also go check out Ben's other projects. He's on a Podcast called Game Brain and he also does cartoons of Real Housewives of New York, called Real Housewives of Kitchen Island, which you can catch on Yitzelba. What else is going on today before we jump into below deck?
Starting point is 00:01:32 I don't think anything else is going on. Well, tonight I am gonna be doing an IG live with Danny Murphy. So go, you just can come to my IG or his. His I think it's called is at Kashmir Danny and mine is at Ben Bendelker. I think it's Bendelker, Ben Bendelker, whatever it is. Just look up my name. It's gonna be at five o'clock, Pacific, eight o'clock Eastern.
Starting point is 00:01:53 And I'm probably on there for, I don't know how long maybe like 45 minutes or so, hour. We're just gonna talk about stuff. So come join us. Yeah, go do it everybody. Well today we are on to B dick mid-iterranean. Tom continues just to lose his damn mind. It's so funny. So awful and so funny. He's terrible. Like it does. He doesn't even start at one level and then peak. It's just always peak terrible. He's a fucking horrible human being. And this is supposed to make me like Malia more because
Starting point is 00:02:23 it doesn't. She's the worst. Okay, you're an enabler. Yeah, he is really, really terrible. I like, he's hilarious and how terrible he is because it's just like so funny watching lose his mind of a stupid shit. But like, if I were working with him, if I'd deal with him, I'd be like, what, what a, what a twat. What I'm gonna say, a twat. Twat. So let's talk some gossip, shall we, Ben? Yeah. So last thing I was telling you about Malia's breakup Instagrams, like, here's Beyonce when she was still taking it. Here's Beyonce after she's sick of being cheated on
Starting point is 00:02:57 for the second time or whatever. So then she puts off these Instagrams basically saying she's broken up. So then she does, she does an Instagram video and she's like, Hey, guys, you know, it's really been hard keeping my private life private and everybody really has something to say about my private life. So I guess I have to address it. Malia, you put it out there.
Starting point is 00:03:19 You're like the worst housewife ever. Okay. You're putting it out there. So she talks about breaking up a tom and, you know, I'm moving on to a better place. And then she addresses the Captain Sandy stuff. Did you see any of this? So I finally saw this cameo that Captain Sandy made
Starting point is 00:03:37 about Malia. Oh, good, Captain. So whoever hasn't seen it, it's basically Sandy doing a cameo like Ben said and Someone asked her about Malia and she's like well, you know secretly I think Malia is secretly gay and the whole crew thinks it too So don't tell any but oh this is gonna be public isn't it and she's kind of laughing and dropping her phone and stuff Well people had a damn fit about it. Of course saying she's outing Malia and all this stuff
Starting point is 00:04:04 I don't know that she really outed Malia. I think she said she thinks she's gay, but still shouldn't be that. Right? Yeah, it was. Yeah, I agree. I guess not that you say it. Technically, it is an outing because you just saying what she thinks. Although I think the fact, maybe the fact that people think that it's an outing might
Starting point is 00:04:21 mean that maybe other people also think it too. I don't know if I've really put that much thought into it personally. Whatever it is, it's still tacky, it's still really tacky. And I think especially given that Sandy is probably the LGBTQ community, I think that she knows there are two things. She either knows like the pain that a lot of people have felt of like being on the receiving end of that kind of ridicule, which shouldn't even be ridicule, but on the other hand, if Malia were gay or
Starting point is 00:04:54 LGBTQ, whatever, then it's really hurtful that if she is someone who's in the closet, it's not up for you to, by you publicly putting that out there, it is putting pressure on her. And as someone who once was in the closet, I know it's shocking, but it's like a really, it's like the worst thing in the world when people are like, are you gay?
Starting point is 00:05:16 Are you gay? Just be honest, are you gay? Because you're thinking either, you're either thinking one thing, you're thinking, you're either thinking that like, you are like, oh God, I'm not doing a good enough job of like being like, like, trying to be straight. Or I, I pretty much actually what you're thinking. That's pretty
Starting point is 00:05:38 much the main thing, you know, so I just think that like, it's very tacky of saying did to do that. Yeah, so Malia to her credit was like, you know, and if I was gay, I wouldn't have a problem with it I support the community, et cetera, et cetera But yeah, I don't know that that was really her place and Kind of gets like mad about it where I thought I kind of was thinking it was gonna go in the direction of yeah You know, she said it, but you know, I still love Captain Sandy blah blah blah but she was pretty pissed. I think so too. I was just surprised and I it going so I saw that before I watched this episode and I was like wow when did she get pissed at Sandy? Well here we are. Here we are. Here we are everybody. So I think that's all the gossip from BulloDick.
Starting point is 00:06:28 I think so. The two of them were on Watch Happens Live, but I don't know if any of the stuff was addressed on that. Who was? Sandy and Malia. weren't they on last week together? I don't know. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:39 So everybody, here we go. Silence, because it's very dramatic. And where Tom has just had a fit and the captain has told Malia, stop protecting him, stop going to him, stop. I'm not gonna do this. Malia's like, well, I'm not gonna do it either. Stay out of the galley, Malia.
Starting point is 00:06:57 But you just got us provisions, and if he doesn't get us provisions, I mean, he's just gonna walk off the boat, Sandy. Well, if he walks, I'll handle it. And by handling it means I'll go after him and say hey there You need a hug you need a hug. Let's have one more hug. Okay. You want to come back on the boat? Okay, let's do that Yeah, if he walks off the boat and I'll follow him down to the dumpsters and walk around the circles while he's trying to avoid me Sink I could have fired you last year. I could have fired you last year. God damn it. So then we by way while this while Sandy is talking to Malayette
Starting point is 00:07:30 We keep cutting back and forth between footage of Tom just like so furious in the kitchen And then at one point he just like takes a sheet pan just like throws it and goes fuck this fuck this I'm like, yeah, you really showed that sheet pan. Wow. Take it out on the sheet pan, Tom. Well, he has just dumped that whole sheet pan full of bread that he said isn't good enough. And she's doing that. It's not good enough to throw it away. Don't throw it away.
Starting point is 00:07:52 And he slams it in the bin and then throws the pan. And then he marches down the hall to run to his room and cry. So yeah, he tears off his apron. So he's in the bunk. And so then Malia enters the bunk also. And then I think they go into the the bathroom and we just hear him go Fucking dementia it's pissing me off. I just want I want some fucking respect from somewhere of this
Starting point is 00:08:17 Fuck he's like being always weird saliva noises. Yeah, he's like spitting mad and he's like hitting the walls and stuff Emily just keeps going Hi me Hi, you on my side I thought you're my side honey. I am coming here The editors just cut to water rage boiling Yeah, I love that and he's like I can't I can't I can't do it I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I, I can't, I can't do it. I can't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, thrown into sink and a close up of the Fakacha. Like a new Fakacha. And he's like, I copped for pay the guest lunch because there's no fish.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Even if I get it together, no one is gonna be, nothing is gonna be good that I send out. So I can't say, well, Tom, honey, your food is amazing. I know you, and I know whatever you put out will be amazing. Like for crew lunch, I mean, you always put out five plates. Like, Kiko used to literally send down one bowl of spaghetti. Okay, you know what? get off Kiko's ass lady Your throwing him out of isn't it bad enough like he's gone. Okay, don't you miss Kiko now
Starting point is 00:09:34 Don't you miss Kiko now cuz Kiko never have these tantrums. Yeah, just would cry and Kiko also didn't have you sitting there being his sous-shoff the entire time Yeah, that's true, too. Yeah, how about you help all chefs, okay? Yeah, not just Tom. And I just rush, he's like, the one he said, damn, once bowl of, he just said, damn, once bowl of spaghetti, and I wrote, you mean the guy who just got fired? Great argument, Mollie. Haha, no, that's true too. And then you hear the toothbrush slamming in the toothbrush glass.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Yeah, this is just glass rambling. Which I love that we all, that's just such a universal sound. Like, I'm not the toothbrush. Yeah, there's a glass rambling. Which I love that we all does just such a universal sound. Like, I'm a toothbrush. Fuck you, toothbrush. Get back in your cup. That's a, you just were gonna do that in the background. Yeah. Malia, Malia, it's my fucking reputation and then he like makes that noise. He has like this weird like, it's almost like he wants to say fart, but he won't let it out because Honey don't let it come between you and I and then it's silent and he goes of course I won't mother Just have one more charter. You're gonna be fine. You haven't let us down. You've been the lifesaver this season. Oh, shut up with that.
Starting point is 00:10:45 He's not a lifesaver. He's a chef who took a job for two weeks, okay? Yeah, for crying out loud. So then he emerged. He wasn't sinking, okay? He didn't like rescue the guy from about, the guy who was about to get his leg cut off, okay? He's sinking.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Exactly. So he merges from the bunk, and then we get one of our favorite tropes of Blow Deck Med which is hearing Sandy talking about some random ass story without any context. She's just in the crew mass going what's it called when they refer when they were in the refurbished it was in old jail but they have problems with the rats. And Alex is that's fucking disgusting. I mean Tom just passes by and bucks he gets good Tom, fall from it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Listen, if you have a problem, bring it to the captain,
Starting point is 00:11:30 but I can't help someone unless they communicate with me. He's only communicating with Malia. It's on time, and he needs to figure it out. Hmm, cut the car, Tom, the kitchen wiping his face going, F**king hell! I don't even know what it's time! Yeah. So now there's more cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, everyone's cleaning the boat, because the- the guests are coming cleaning, cleaning, cleaning,
Starting point is 00:11:48 and then Tom just like walks into his walk and fridge us. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Shit, look at the fucking state of this fudgerator! I mean, if you're not going to give me- if you're not going to give me the provisions I need, then what's the point of hiring a brilliant chef?
Starting point is 00:12:03 If Sandy can't amend that, I'd rather then what's the point of hiring a brilliant chef? If Sandy can't amend that, I'd rather walk off the boat, they not have the opportunity to serve what I can do. I mean, for Fox's sake, the broccoli's on the wrong shelf, the papaya's over on the floor, there's apples who knows where the apples even are, and the center, the pasta, where's the pasta? I don't even know, why am I even here? Why am I, why am I, if they're not gonna organize the pantry, what the center the pasta where's the pasta? I don't even know why my even here Why my where they're not gonna? Oh, okay, no, it's the pantry What's even the part of me being here? What's the point of having a one-fash if hey? I don't get any access to the ingredients in the time to fashion I need to see Tom on shopped on chopped I know I was seeing the same thing. I was thinking of top chef or something just any
Starting point is 00:12:40 Competition show he would just lose his mind just lose it like here is some baby poop some sardines and some bread go I tried to I tried to cook something with it But then I went into the walk and frigid the food and there's nothing even there I'm what's even the bottom what is what of this? I can't even plant my own in that wasn't even the bottom of this chopped situation. I'll say who's chopped my ass and my Repetition okay, I will have it. I will have it on butt So Asia is helping Rob is helping Asia fold laundry and she's like Jessica here is them in the kitchen and she's like
Starting point is 00:13:18 She's furious so it's like is it nice being spread out a lot bad and he goes oh wasn't oh Spreading something inside Jess is so mad she's basically like um I Would not have in a part for a conversation like with a she's boyfriend like that. She's so so pissed So now it's time to change into your whites because the guests are coming and Malia Malia, can you come see me in my office? Okay. So she calls Malia, but in the meantime, Alex checks it on bugs to make sure she's okay and she's like, yeah, the atmosphere is weird on the boats. It's weird because of the energy and the galleons. Now thunder.
Starting point is 00:14:05 I need the thunder. So Malia and captain, the captain's like, well Malia, you're my pride and joy. I'm gonna start there. Okay, now that actually went out to my Peloton at home. Pride and joy. Mr. Pride and joy. Okay, now Malia, or as I like to call you, Sandy from the past. Now listen, Thomas is your boyfriend. I understand that. And if he decides to walk off the boat because provisions are what they are,
Starting point is 00:14:29 I would hope that you as Sandy from the past would stay on the boat, like Sandy from the past would stay on the boat. Emily is like, I don't think he's walking, but if it came to that, as much as I respect the industry and my position, I also have to respect the side of to that as much as I respect the industry and my position I also have to respect the side of me that's that's my partner in life not just my partner in the industry You forgot to do your air quotes. You forgot to do your air quotes on partnering life
Starting point is 00:14:57 Payton area life quote That made me so curious when Malia's that made me so mad. Malia got mad. I got so mad. Now, granted, I've got a lot of Malia. Actually, my Malia fury has pretty much died down since the whole kind of thing happened. You know, it's like been kind of back to normal, but who says that? Like you've talked this whole time about what an incredible opportunity this is. And then you get your boyfriend a job on the boat in suspicious ways. And now you're gonna leave the boat if your boyfriend doesn't get his way.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Yeah, I mean, listen, I understand it's not, you know, being a chef on a reality show on a boat that where there's like a quick turnaround, it's not ideal. He knew what he was getting into and also like, we've seen now like many, many chefs across the Blue Deck universe. They get mad, they get sorely, they get annoyed, but they also deal with it, they get it done. And he is just so rigid, and the moment anything deviates from his plan, he just loses his mind. I mean, I cannot even imagine what his childhood was like. Like, what did his mom do to him? Because he is, like, I'm just imagining this sort of pressure that his mom who cooked for the Queen Mom,
Starting point is 00:16:10 like, I can only imagine just every single day, the little comments that she must be making around the household, like, oh, well, yeah, good. Look at that. You got an A minus on your class report. That's very good, although, we must admit that if you do want to cook for the Queen someday, you have to get an A won't you?
Starting point is 00:16:26 You know it's probably that all day long Yeah, but my issue with this isn't even him because of course he's he is a total monster It's Malia. It's like really you're gonna leave like you had a fit because you couldn't sleep with your boyfriend Which was the first thing that made me fucking crazy and then took revenge by doing what you did Which was shitty and now you're gonna leave if you're If your boyfriend can't hack it. Give me a break. I'm almost not mad at her. I'm actually more sad Believe it or not. I'm sad because She is in a situation where like
Starting point is 00:16:58 when she's around him she like Sure identity becomes him and it becomes about making him happy and not just like being who she is normally. And the moment he entered the picture is when Malia turned because prior to that she was like this awesome, like badass, you know, boasting who was better than pretty much any boasting we'd ever seen on the show. And the moment he entered the picture, it was like she totally changed, she totally becomes supplicant.
Starting point is 00:17:24 And I feel bad for her because I don't think it's something She seems to even be aware of and so I'm not I'm not angry at her I just feel like damn I wish you saw what you've become around him She's gross. Okay, so then Aisha is Aisha's trying with Jess right she's like How are you big boobies? is trying with Jess right she's like oh how are you big boobies how big are they and Jess is like well supposedly they're a double D but they don't look that big dude they and they just laugh and she's like yes they do they do yeah and then did she say something about like her dad she's like my dad told me that the
Starting point is 00:18:02 more than a handful is wasted. So I've got just an half. I'm like, did she say her dad said that to her? Yeah. Oh, crazy. I guess it's like Rob has big hands. So the fish lady arrives. This poor beleaguered fish lady arrives and bugs. He's like, how are these friends in there? It's like, Alex,, all except for the oysters. It's like, where are they from? She says it like proudly. Yeah, so if we can get fresh on, we'll probably send the frozen back to C&L.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Look, oh my god. Fine, baby. I'm making no profit off of this boat. Do whatever you want. Yeah, exactly. So then Tom is in the kitchen, stewing away. Like, this is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, talking to about being in the galley, but like, I'm like, then I'm like the fucking boasting. Like, if there's a problem, I get involved. Like, not in the galley.
Starting point is 00:19:09 No, you don't. Not the galley. Yeah, she just kind of makes up her own hierarchy throughout the season. Like, no, it's not your job, ma'am. Okay. So then the captain is talking to bugs by the fridge. She's passing by her and she's like, you're right bugs. She's like, is she torn? The stuff came frozen. What do I do? And then Tom comes by and she's like, Tom, I put the frozen fish in the fridge and goes brilliant because frozen halibut is much better than fresh and the captain's like, oh, fuck, really? Is it? She's like, Sandy was like trying to express empathy in that moment. She's like oh you know, and then he's like, you know, he's like already like
Starting point is 00:19:52 gearing up to have like another tantrum and she's like, Tom you gotta talk to me, it's frozen, it's frozen, is that what it is? And he's like, what are I trying to speak to you about it? But you were just, you were just, you were just calling BWA and now we'll talk with frozen fish mother, We've got frozen fish! Yeah, wait a minute now, mister. Okay, I called BWA and she said she was bringing your fresh halibut. So are you saying she did not bring your fresh halibut?
Starting point is 00:20:15 That's a yes or no question. It's like, Sandy, if you just let me speak, I could say, oh, I don't know! And he goes to the walk-in. Even though he just said we were stuck with Frozen Fish, by the way. Yeah. And she's, yeah, but why can't he just say, first of all, why wasn't he checking the fish?
Starting point is 00:20:34 If he already knows the fish is bad. I don't know. It's like such a stupid thing to go so. Well, it's also like, but. Yeah, well, he's like, well, he just, he gets so fresh. That's the thing. He gets, oh, he gets fresh talking about the frozen. But he does, because he like, well, he just, he gets so fresh. That's the thing. He gets, oh, he gets fresh, talking about his frozen. But he does, because he could just say,
Starting point is 00:20:48 give me one second Sandy, let me check, and then I'm gonna tell you. But instead he goes, well, if you just let me speak, I mean, I don't know, because I haven't had the time to check on it, because I've been saving crew lunch, because I've been doing all the guest food. So if you only have a little bit of patience with me, I'm doing a lot of work, Sandy, I'm doing a lot of work!
Starting point is 00:21:04 It's like, oh's like just say, just your beings, you're giving her so much attitude. So like, don't be surprised that she's gonna get mad now. Yeah, and also you've had fish disasters before, like literally yesterday, so. So when the fish lady is here, why don't you go talk to the fish lady? How about that?
Starting point is 00:21:23 Why don't you go down there and check the product to see what you've been delivered instead of just letting one of the stews do it. Yeah, he was the one who actually picked up the fish from the back of the car and was like, oh, this is warm. But instead of just like, he brought back the kitchen, of course, he wanted to check it. But he was like, oh, okay, so this is not a refrigerated car. Okay, very well. I don't know what she is then. It's like, no, it's like, I'm getting worked up about the stupid shit right now.
Starting point is 00:21:49 I know. I feel so dumb getting worked up over this. I love it, I love getting worked up about shit. So, he's like, well, yeah, I haven't had time blah, blah, blah. And she's like, he goes, if you just have a little patience with me Sunday. And she's like, I do have patience. You're not telling me what's going on. She's like, oh, yes or no. This yes or no question. Do you that to me?
Starting point is 00:22:08 Don't do that to me. She goes, but it is a yes or no. No, it's not a yes or a no It's an odd out no because I haven't had time checks. I've got them seven jobs You just said that there's a fucking frozen halb in the freezer. Did you not? I love that this is like turning into a few good men a few good fish She's like, she's like, did you or did you not say that there was a frozen halibut in the freezer? Because guess what? I need to know if there's a brand Zeno in there later from my lunch. Okay, what about me? What about Captain Sande? Okay, and he's like, no, I did not say that. I did not say that. She's like, you know what? I'm walking away now. Okay, let's mean the
Starting point is 00:22:42 main slum. Because I'm not gonna fucking do do this because I'm not gonna rest until I find out Whether or not there's a frozen halibut in the freezer and if it might be gay, okay? That's it. You can't handle the fish So now he's like I'm fucking done. I cannot do this. I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done and back as he goes It's gonna be all right Tom look. I done. And bugsy goes it's gonna be alright Tom look I've got Barrett's say it's gonna be Right Gonna be all right Everything's gonna be no time no cry
Starting point is 00:23:17 So the captain sits down with the crew and the salon and Tom's not there yet and she goes he can fucking leave I don't care and Tom's like on fucking real real she's strong to warn me up that one on fucking rap. Tim, Malia, Boatsy to the main salon, now okay it's the wrong person to piss off. So she they have a meeting and she's like you know what makes Tom a great chef is he's a perfectionist but the chef is at his caliber needs to learn how to improvise okay I need a little guess and fish okay this is improvising with Tom yes and no yes and fuck you Tom every scene you did tonight was about your mother can we
Starting point is 00:24:10 All right, we're gonna need some words for the audience okay, what's your word right there? Diary, well, I'm not gonna do that now my word. I've heard chosen my word. I can't do diarrhea That's absolutely wrong. I've been trained by call the brebs I'm in how am I supposed to improvise this environment, okay? Like there's no script there's no there's no words. There's no plans. There's not nothing and am I supposed to improvise in this environment? Okay? Like, does no script, does no, there's no words, there's no plans, there's nothing, and I'm supposed to improvise. How am I supposed to improvise without a script? All right, now I'm the wrong person to piss off.
Starting point is 00:24:33 All right, let me do this with prayer hands, let me do this with prayer handablegies, okay? And I'm gonna keep hitting my microphone just so I heard everybody's, okay? Now, all right last charter I know that right now we're having a problem with provisions but what makes us stand out wait for it it's what we do with what we're given okay now this is not gonna be perfect it's what we're given. Okay, now this is not going to be perfect. It's how we finesse it.
Starting point is 00:25:05 It's our attitude towards it. I wanted all of you, Tom, to feel supported by your captain. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to take you down, but I certainly will not be spoken to that, too like that. Ever again, Tom! And Tom is sitting there on the couch, the way I would sit on the couch, where I was trying to get out of mowing the lawn or something. You're just like, you know, like, I want to mow the lawn. He's just like doing like a silent pout, right?
Starting point is 00:25:37 Just like staring off, like, I can't believe this. I chef for my caliber, getting scolded, but a captain who doesn't even understand what a frozen heart But even is okay, she put the button halibut, okay? That's improvisation for you. So she goes on to say everybody's a most crying There's a lot challenging you and I'm gonna cry now It's tiring okay. We want to be we want to do our best sometimes But it's not gonna be the best and listen. I've've said from day one I don't care what the client says I care what I think I care what my
Starting point is 00:26:10 Peloton guy thinks okay yes I only care about what I think about you and I do care about what the client says actually you know it's so hot don't serve any lukewarm food okay because I'm gonna be up there and I'm gonna be in the galaxy at the same time. So, but I do care about you. That's the most important thing. We're champions. It's time for commercial.
Starting point is 00:26:30 It's time for a craft. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:27:23 You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So then there's dramatic music and Tom is back in the kitchen with bugs and he's like, um, was I speaking to her out of order there? I'm not simply ridiculous. I mean, all I was doing was having a, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love Well, I can't say Tom because you were around the corner from me when that happened, so I cannot be a witness. Please don't drag me into this. And it's like fucking hell. I'm fucking hell. Like, she didn't like how I was talking to her, and I understand the gist of it,
Starting point is 00:28:15 but it's not relevant. Clip of five seconds ago. Yeah, you know, the years of Gordon Ramsay's and the years of Gary Rhodes restaurants, and working under mother, and that's what it comes from from it's a pride thing and you know that yes their first world problem which guess what we're in that first world want to bloody art so it's a very found problem and Mother ever sees this happen for me she'll be like why did you cook in that restaurant that has a knife of the hand it doesn't work and the buns are burnt and it's terrible Mother's terrible.
Starting point is 00:28:41 So Malia comes to the kitchen she's like,, Jaime, don't worry, it's only three days. And if they complain, it's about the provisions, not you, honey. He's like, I don't give a fuck all right! Oh my god. What about the best scots? Yeah. So...
Starting point is 00:28:57 I mean, it's... F**k, I don't like f**k! So then, they line up because the guests are coming. And Sandy's standing next to Tom, so she's trying to cheer him up, because she's like, okay, because she's like, you know, he's all,
Starting point is 00:29:11 he's sulking now, so she's like, she's even more good at it. Yeah, he's like, come on, come on, head up. I'll get you a lollipop afterwards. We call the lollipop on from the lollipop. So here comes the girl's Hannah comes, and she's got a cast on, and the lolly, pop. So here comes the girl's, Hannah comes, and she's got a cast on, and the captain goes, what happened to you?
Starting point is 00:29:29 She goes, pack her! I know, and Tom is like so judgey, but he goes, she's got a cast on, I'm like, relax, she had an injury while walking in a fast and unorthodox way. Yeah, she was trying to scale a bit building, okay? By going up a little bit of its will. Oh, that's well.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Hi, welcome. We've got the age team here and they're gonna show you a great time. Mr. T, anything to say about Frozen Fish, didn't think so. Okay, bugs, give them a tour. So they're going on the tour and Tom is like rage, rage tearing lobster tails off of the lobster, like the poor lobster. I mean, it's bad enough when it has to go through,
Starting point is 00:30:13 but like the rage with which he was ripping those tails off. He's a mother. And bugs give the tour and she's like, this is the cigar room. Anyone's Mexican. No, then it can be the champagne room. And Hannah goes, Aw, everything reminds me of the kids. You're James Smoking, cigar chomping,
Starting point is 00:30:32 champagne, yeah, swimming kids, and I don't know what the hell. Hannah's the primary, but there's also another primary name, Zahida, oh, she goes, you just call me Z,
Starting point is 00:30:41 and she's like, no champagne for me. I'll, do you have sparkling rosé because champagne goes right to my head. I'm like, oh, it's kind of the same thing. So enjoy that. And one of the ladies is like, I'm on a yacht in Spain. What are you guys doing?
Starting point is 00:30:55 School drop off. That's unfortunate. K. Rennada. So then, um, the, so then bugs is asking them about when they want lunch and Z I'm just a color ZX. I don't know how to say names. Ada Zyda. So Z is like yeah How about like 230 and then this other girl Nicole's like yeah about like two and then like Z just like stairs at her and then the camera zoom in on the coals like bum bum I'm like, oh god. I forgot we haven't had any of these type of charters this season when the guests fight with each other
Starting point is 00:31:26 I know they hate each other. So bugs is like Ah, 2 2 30, how about that? Oh, so Zeta is so mad at she gets her drink and she's like so mad So then we got a bugs and she's like, Tom, do you have a minute to talk about lunch? She's like, three courses, one course, one, mediocrity, course two, provisionless sucker, mediocrity, course three, just fucking hang me off the side of the boat, drag me down till I drown. Sounds delicious, Tom. Yeah, well, I was going to, I was going to sit in hell a bit for lunch, but I'm not prepared and detained that I like I guarantee they would not have to understand I mean guarantee just put the halibut in the water for like
Starting point is 00:32:12 45 minutes and I guarantee no one would know the difference don't do not try and bring common thawing practice into the Practices into this I'm not the same thing. I was like, uh, oh hi it's called a bowl of warm water okay yeah geez seriously how many times has he been told that in this life it's called the bowl of warm water yeah so he's like you can only afford the frozen fish at Trader Chose I will say it's called the bowl of warm water sir seriously I mean the I mean, the fish is served over ice, okay? So, not sir, but it comes, you know, they catch and they put it on ice.
Starting point is 00:32:49 So, Malia is, so she's, Malia's not allowed in there, so she tells Alex to go help out Tom. So, he's just like standing around there. Then Tom, now Tom's trying to act like cool, because Alex's like, yeah, you need my help, and he has something like that, and he's like, no, I'm fine, everything's cool, and he has everything's fine, I'm fine. Everything's cool and you have everything's fine.
Starting point is 00:33:05 Everything's fine. Yeah. Yeah, people like Tom usually don't talk to the man that way. Notice? That's, yeah, exactly. So Alex is like, come, it's just an easy lunch. You're a bitch lunch. So it's a funny way to put it as I snort like a little piglet.
Starting point is 00:33:22 So Hannah comes in and she's like, Hi, I'm Hannah. She jumps on the counter. She's like, Everything looks so good. I'm so excited. Jump onto the other counter and then like does the hand stand. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Thank you for walking over my frozen heart, but it's just about to serve you. So Antam's been like all friendly, like, Yeah, it's now we're gonna have some lovely food. You're gonna really enjoy it. Everything's fine here. Everything's fine and fine and cool. It's a cucumber in here.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Oh God, the cucumber, the cucumber! Hmm. So in the mess, Molly is with the debt crew and she's like, well, I was gonna give you a big inspirational speech, but for some reason, all I can say is, honey, honey. So she basically, she's like, I have an announcement to make. We squashed the lead DeCand Pete.
Starting point is 00:34:06 You had a rocky start, but gosh, you've sure done a great job of being cut out of this show. So thank you, editors. Rob, you've been the most consistent. And Alex, this brings me to you. I never thought I would say this, but you're a lead DeCand and a decent stand in Siouxchef. So thanks for that.
Starting point is 00:34:24 He's like, yeah, it is awesome. I mean, now I can grow in the industry. I mean, yeah, I'm like, no one cares. So then- Three days is bleed that can't on a boat. Yeah, enjoy that. So, I only want to see ceremonial positions if they're done passive aggressively.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Like when Kate Chastain would give out epilets to someone just to make someone else feel bad like I love that like okay So Susan you You are a mediocre Stuart best, but you're ten times better than Renee over there So she did the Simone. Oh, yes Malia's like honey are you gonna be okay with lunch at 2 o'clock? I was like, whatever! So then he's played again.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Yeah, some people are changing and the ladies are taking selfies and he's fucking shit provisions again. Who do I speak to again? Who do I speak to? She's like, what happened, honey? She's like, who do I speak to about this shit? Problems with the provisions, so do I speak to Sandy and run the risk? Oh, fuck that! Fuck that! Malia, can you come here for a second?
Starting point is 00:35:31 I mean, look, look, that's the halibut for dinner. Rock, hard. Okay, you know what? There's the scallops. Okay, and what the fuck is this? Malia have only just found out. I've only just found this out. That this is frozen.
Starting point is 00:35:42 I mean, I'm just starting to, I'm putting the fucking provisions away. It's it's like Tom Bugsie literally told you the halibut and the shrimp are frozen. And why you act like you're just finding this, don't you remember your earlier temper tantrum? You literally had a temper tantrum about this already. You're doing reruns, okay? Like, you know this already. Yeah, you just look like a huge fail. Check your orders, okay? I've never worked for a chef that doesn't go take his own damn orders. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, and I've seen plenty of ender get his ass chewed as well, and it's really fun. So, this has been much better taken up with the fish lady. So, Aisha is just laughing to the laughing her ass off at this at the door, and Bugsie is actually cooking. Did you notice
Starting point is 00:36:22 that? I know Bugsie was like fussing with the pan. She's like turning the fish because he's busy having a temper tantrum in the walk-in. And he's trying to explain to me, he's like, it's like Malia, it's just like giving you one bottle of fucking Washington, which I cleaned the boat. And then saying, oh, it's a day to day dirty.
Starting point is 00:36:38 It's just like that. I'm like, it's not like that at all. And she probably would make it work without complaining. Calm down for one second and listen and bugs. He's texting and it's just like, he's gonna pop a socket that one. And Malia is in the walk and she's like, listen, just go to her and say, Sandy, I got shit provisions. Okay, let us help you got shit provisions.
Starting point is 00:36:59 So the captain is wandering down the hall and she talks to bugs. She's like, what do you need? I'm just trying to sort this out for Tom. Do not get on Tom's wagon. You have to raise above the Tom wagon, okay? Yeah and she's like I'm just trying to help and she's like I don't give a shit, okay? Okay and bugs is just like oh I'm just trying to help a situation. And then we see Tom Boisey Tom, and now he's moaning. He's like, I could have been in the UK. I could have been seeing my fucking family, my uncle, my friends, and yet I'm not.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Ooooo! Um, so, uh, the girls are outside, and one of the girls tells Nicole, what is the other girls doing? She goes, I don't know. And I don't like care either. I don't care, I don't care what they're doing. Ah. So now Tom is at full tantrum level again. I'm sick of this, I'm sick of this and Lee is like,
Starting point is 00:37:52 but honey, where on charter? I don't care, I don't care about the guest Malia. You have to understand this, I don't care about them. Ah. And then back with the captain and bug, she's like, do not get on his wagon. I don't give a shit, you gotta come to me come to my wagon come on my wagon Emily is like Tom you've got to go to captain Sandy and say captain Sandy the provisions that I got her shit and then you put it on her
Starting point is 00:38:17 Yeah, and Sandy is like listen bugs. He cuz it's going back and forth between these two places and Sandy is like Listen you're a calm? You can shoulder this. Tam's energy has rubbed off you, okay? Instead of improvising, he has put all his shit on everyone else, okay? He has provisions, Bugsie. He can cook. He can cook. He can do his food. So Malia finally gets Tom calm and she's like you just need to cool it when it comes to Captain Sandy trust me It's like I get it so then
Starting point is 00:38:51 Stairs the ladies Nicole's like oh my god. It's like the champagne cruise. Oh, no the champagne gang the champagne gang The champagne gang Yeah taking photos a pie down low. So then Alex and Rob are talking about how they only have two days left, again, no one cares. And now it's lunchtime is approaching. And then we just see the shot of Rob just sprinting into the laundry room
Starting point is 00:39:20 and just making out with just vigorously. I'm like, I would say you should get a room, but they actually have gotten a room and it's still terrible. It's just... Stay in your room. Stay in the room. So Zeta is like, excuse me, do you guys use filtered water for the ice machine? And he's just like, Yes, terribly filtered. All of the water that comes in here is filtered. Mm. Fully lying, clearly fully lying. So, uh, so, ETA for lunch is 34 minutes and now lunch is going up and Malia's helping regardless
Starting point is 00:39:59 and they all are getting lobster tails with orange and fennel. And guess what, the guests love it. They're, they're, they're super happy. So, despite all his moaning groaningennel and guess what the guests love it they're I love it they're super happy so it's all his morning groaning yeah guess what else Tom made me a help him again exactly what a fucking disaster of them you are fucking disgusting with this and then he then he has this whole rant he goes you know last time I had I had the time to burn all the chicken out and then
Starting point is 00:40:24 refill the chicken with some herbs and lemon inside but it still looked like a whole baby chicken okay it was a whole baby chicken but I had no bones there's a boneless baby chicken it was an illusion okay it was art that's what it was it's a nice way to beating it but this time I just had to take off the flits and plate it in a gorgeous way. It looked beautiful it looked like all these nice pieces of chicken with like stuff on it and he's like all these nice pieces of chicken with stuff on it. It's like a planning that you didn't have time to do that super like technically precise method
Starting point is 00:40:52 of taking the bones out and reforming it in the shape of a chicken. Like chill out dude. Like these guests are fine with chicken served in slices on a plate. And Aisha's like, this bored little British brat! How do you see that as a tractor? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Yeah. So then Tom just jumps up and throws an napkin. I'm like, something shocked him. Yeah, please. I'm like, please, what is wrong with you? And he just starts screaming. It's shit, it's bloody shit And then he runs
Starting point is 00:41:26 He runs down stairs to his dream and starts punching the walls What the hell is going nuts? It's all shit, it's all shit And then upstairs H is like would you like some chicken? It's all shit Chicken anyone chicken What the hell so I mean this is this whole episode you guys A whole episode it's so good so now he's back in the bunk like literally like the fifth time they're having another bunk meltdown and once again it's like that foaming saliva sound was like my
Starting point is 00:41:55 my good someone just get him a rabie shot at this point geez so bugs is trying to find him and she's like Tom Tom, Tom! Lily is like Gelf or Tom. Oh, he can answer his own radio, Malia. Oh my God. So Bugs, he comes to the room, she's like, I'm sorry, but can I get an extra, an extra lobster tail please don't hurt me. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Malia is like, Tom, you have two more dinners to get through. I don't give a sh- if it's a million dinners, if it's shit food, I'm not happy. Look at this, look at this, look at this way. I am a chef and that's what defines me. Serving this shit, it's not right. It's not right, ma-na! Well, you've been pretty well-defined, I think. I don't think you'll ever be looked at quite the same again, sir. I know. So now, now, time to anchor, preparing to anchor. And when Hannah goes, oh my god, look at that rock.
Starting point is 00:42:50 When you go to Disneyland and you see a rock wall, it looks like that. It's like, wow, I'm sure God is touched by that comparison. Who would have thought the Imagineers of Disneyland based their rock walls on actual rock walls? Yeah, crazy. So the captain comes to check on them at lunch and they love it and basically that's it. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:43:14 They love every single thing that happens. Yeah, they love it. They love it. They love everything. Yeah. And so now Tom is like, calm again. He's like, you know, Milly, I just want you to know I appreciate everything you do. And she's like, Tom, just, just laugh it off. It's funny, just laugh it off. So he's like, calm again, he's like, you know, Milly, I just want you to know, I appreciate everything you do. And she's like, Tom, just, just laugh it off. It's funny, just laugh it off.
Starting point is 00:43:26 So he's like, fine. So he's like, now he's like, back in the hallway, and Aisha just comes running through. And she's like, she's like, Guse me, I've got a bursting blatter. And she like, pushes past Tom, and he's like, I mean, it's a, he has his look on his face, like, it's bad enough that I have to cook with friends in that. But, but now I get shoved into a doorway like a common peasant It's not wrong. I can't do this. I can't I can't I can't So then we get a Hannah and Rob scene don't don't don't
Starting point is 00:43:55 So she falls she's on a jet ski yeah in the ocean and she's not on it anymore So Malia's like Rob could you try to park her on the waves? Yeah hop on the Jets game make sure she's okay and so he goes out there and she's right out of gas and so he's like so what made you get into Paul Cool? She's like well I had my third kid and I sort of lost my identity you know so now I'm the lady who jumps from things. I know and then Rob goes do modeling. But I started y'all trying to get away from everything. I lost track of myself as well. I'm like, just so you just have to go check on on her. You don't have to like form a connection with her. And I love that he, of course, he starts off saying, I do modeling. Of course. So anytime he tried, anytime Rob tries to convince you that he's deeper
Starting point is 00:44:43 than what he presents himself in, just remember that he leads with I do modeling. Yes. And Hannah's like, ow, I got stung. I've never been stung by a jellyfish before. I'm like, wow, this is the least dramatic person to ever be on this. Oh no, I've never seen a reality star
Starting point is 00:44:58 get stung by a jellyfish and be so calm. Like they all freak out. They're, it's like, it's like always a commercial break. Like jellyfish are like the commercial break of all commercial breaks. Yeah, he's like, I'll get you some vinegar. Oh no, it's fine. It looks gross. I mean, it is. I guess, oh, I'm so nervous speaking with you. She's just, oh, you're too kind. No, I'm serious. You seem very like observant and mindful. I'm not used to being seen. Oh God.
Starting point is 00:45:26 Yeah, she's like, I hear you and I feel you. He goes, I love that language. And just like watching, like, whatever. He is such a douche. I'm sorry. He is. This is bullshit. This is bullshit. He is flirting. I love that language. I love that language.
Starting point is 00:45:42 I'm not used to being seen. Oh, shut up. you're a model. Like literally paid to be seen. Jesus, do some more pushups. Not used to be seen. I understand what it's like. I understand what it's like to be stung. I've been stung not by a jellyfish, but by life.
Starting point is 00:46:00 No, I was actually stung by a jellyfish though. Really, it's an actual thing. And he's rubbing lotion on her and he's like, does that feel better? No, keep rubbing it. And Jess is like, I don't know if I can be with someone who keeps doing the same thing over and over again. Like that's the definition of insanity. Whatever. So leave him.
Starting point is 00:46:20 Leave him. Just leave him then. If you don't know, just leave him. Yeah. Oh, so dinner prep. Bugs is putting candy and glasses. Little gummy shots. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:46:31 And she's like, Oh, I'm not playing around. I have your shot here for you, because I'm a wild and crazy Bugsie. And you've got to eat the gummies because they are sucked in vodka. Yes, Buxi. We all know what a vodka gummy bear is.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Yeah. So they all do all the women are like, have lady boners over Alex. And he's like, I got no complaints. Yeah. And then now, like they're going down for an app, ladies are going down for an app guys, which means that Rob and Aisha have time to Flirt while they Fill garbage like they're like she has a garbage and bag and I think he puts another garbage bag in it or some like that
Starting point is 00:47:15 And they're making jokes about filling holes and just speaks for all of us when she goes So buxy checks in with Tom and she's like, you could for dinner tonight and he's like, I don't know, I'm just not motivated. I mean, lunch was shit. I don't even know my ass for my elbow anymore. But they spoke so highly of the lance. He's like, you know, even if the guests were happy, your still upset. I mean, so many people are willing to give an inferior product but it's just not me I mean is there anything more ridiculous than
Starting point is 00:47:50 perfectly cooking a chicken but they're not being able to debone it and form it into another perfectly looking chicken I was thinking more humiliating than that so let's see the tables being set and it's just like it looks like a cool box. I'm just building. I love building. Yeah, she's like putting a tablecloth on a tablecloth. You know, did you put the tablecloth out there? So now in the crew mess. I can't say. I can't buy you. Clare. Clare. So in the crew mess, Sandy's, she's with Tom and she's asking about the relationship or asking Tom and Malia and Malia is saying how they went on a band trip with, she went on a band trip with Tom and it was just like so, so fun and it sound just very terrible to me.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Yeah, they worked together then they went on like some little trip after. And Caption's like, well, the stress that he's putting on her and the stress she's putting on herself is really starting to bother me. So then the moms are getting ready for their dinner and Bugsie and Alex have some more awkward flirting.
Starting point is 00:49:01 She passes by on her blacks and it's like, oh, he's like, all right, take a leave. So then the ladies are in the cigar room waiting because Nicole is taking forever to get to dinner. Yeah, but also dinners at 8.30 and it's only like, you know, at this point, it's like, it's like, like, 7.55 at a clock, but Zeta is hungry. She's really, really hungry. And Sandy, like, was walking by and she's like, oh, I heard somebody's hungry. Now listen, I don't care what the guests think. I only care about what I think about the crew,
Starting point is 00:49:35 but I did hear your hungry, so I'm gonna get on top of this right now. Who's hungry? Who wants some food? Who wants some food? Oh, God, she does it again. Okay, you just did this with letting them on in our early and you saw the hell that that caused
Starting point is 00:49:48 and now you're just gonna tell them to move to dinner. What the fuck? Yeah, that was bad. Sandy should stay out of that. She should stay out of all of this. She's up in her quarters. What is she doing? Let the interior manage the guests.
Starting point is 00:50:02 It is, that was bullshit. I actually can't walk around and be like, oh, let's just start half an hour early. Who cares? The fat, the fish is frozen. How it's supposed to be? Come on! She should have said, hey, you guys are hungry. Let me see if they got some snacks before dinner. Like, she can't just like,
Starting point is 00:50:17 there's a whole system in play here, you know? And so, they, because Sandy was like, okay, go up to the dinner. Go up to the table. So they're now like, there's a whole system in play here, you know? And so, they, because Sandy was like, okay, go up to the dinner, go up to the table, so they're now like sitting down. I mean, not even Bugs, he's ready for them. Like a scissor's still sitting on a chair, and she's like, oh, let me get that scissor out of here,
Starting point is 00:50:37 away, sit on the scissor! And she goes down to tell Tom that they're starting to sit and she's like, but don't worry, not everyone's there yet. And then we see Nicole show up with like crazy hair. I don't know where Nicole was, but I think she was looking up at the first two or whatever. I think so. Yeah, first two, the chief officer. First mate, first mate, who was, who was, first mate got some camera time this episode,
Starting point is 00:51:03 by the way, did you notice she was like steering the ship at one point So it's like only 20 minutes Well the guests have sat down, but the last thing I want to tell Thomas that they're already seeded Yeah, so then bugsy is like everyone I'm I have some masks to make you know more fun Listen if I'm hungry and I'm sitting there and there's no food and someone hands me a mask to make the experience more fun I'm I Don't even know I'm turning into Tom at that point Like this is I'm fucking me and I'm fucking me
Starting point is 00:51:36 So Zeta of course is just complaining. She's like is anyone else hungry? I want to the girls tries to lighten it up by going I dare you to bite into this pineapple. It should go, I'd rather sit here angrily than bite into that. Yeah. And then it goes like, well, if you want service, just ring the bell, and it puts a bell in front of her,
Starting point is 00:51:54 and it's like, give to this fucking bitch. I'm like, don't mock my hunger. So time for some man, she go croquette. Malia, Malia, can you give me a hand for a minute? Can you give me a hand? And Sandy, like, you're as can say that. And she's like, oh, come on, come on. And they serve anchovies on toast and say to us, like, um, no.
Starting point is 00:52:16 No, thanks. With that anchovy filtered. So then, Tom was like, Malia, Malia, stay there a minute. All right, open that and lay it out on here. Yeah, and then like someone else is helping with something else. He's like, no, no, have Malia do that. Have Malia, no, Malia, you wanted to do that.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Malia, you do it all. He's having Malia like open up Pajudo and fill up bulls, et cetera, et cetera. Like everything that she's not supposed to be doing at this moment. Yeah. So Aisha Tuzrab. You want to lolly?
Starting point is 00:52:48 She's feeding me a lolly. I love lollies! And just, just, just hands Aisha's like a plate or something. She's like, could you just throw this away? And then throw yourself overboard, please, thanks. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,ie offers some drinks in one of the ladies, because I want a Martini Britney dirty, not Christina dirty. Yes, but by the way Bugsie came back with a Martini and was like, here's your Martini super dirty.
Starting point is 00:53:17 I'm like, that was Christina dirty. You just sang Christina dirty right now. She asked for Britney dirty, which by the way isn't even a thing, but like, unless you're talking about her feet, which is like worse than Christina Dirty. So this mom has it all wrong anyway. I don't know. I feel like I'm not gay enough for this conversation. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Well, you know, maybe you should talk to Captain Sandy. She'll have a good read on you. You know, I think Rowdy might be gay. Something's telling you So many are now doing dishes and Tom's like she's still love me. I would understand if you didn't It's like nothing can change that honey. You're still my favorite human. I don't even fear human Honey, we all have bad days I just don't want any of this to overflow into our relationship that would be the worst thing that would ever happen you little banker
Starting point is 00:54:07 You little banker you're getting me to close the window you're crowding me me me you're crowding me So the girls say it is like I'm tired. I'm starting to get tired and they're like no sleeping Check yeah, I just want to read a book and Hannah like, um, it's 947. And it seems like, so she goes down to like her room with a friend and she's like, I just need to get away. Like the conversation's not flowing and you know, like that I was having issues, you know, I was having issues biting my tongue. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:37 And H is in the mess and she's like, you know, they're really lovely, but one of the primaries is really weird. Oh yes, that's how she found out her broad size, and it wasn't even with her father's hands. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And then down in the bathroom, Nicole is now muttering about Zeta, and she's like,
Starting point is 00:54:55 I just feel like they're so stuck up. Those girls are such bitches. And then Zeta comes upstairs. She's changed, and she goes, hey, Bugs, can I have a glass of red, maybe more fuller than the other one? Oh, I thought she said she wanted to be more full than the last, I thought she was asking for more food
Starting point is 00:55:14 for the next meal, but that probably makes more sense. Oh, maybe, I don't know. Either way, she wanted more of something. Yeah. And Nicole's like, yeah, I do not like the vibe. Okay, just had to bat for a second. So like we're waiting for these girls to go at it, right? So then Rob is talking to Hannah
Starting point is 00:55:32 because he's near the table. They're both alone by the table. And Hannah's like, why are you guys always dressing up even though you barely see us? He's like, so we look good whenever you see us. How do I look from standing upside down on the ceiling? God, that's talent. That's talent.
Starting point is 00:55:49 And then, can you take a picture of us? We wanted to do a group photo. And he's like, let me get someone else. Let me get Asia because I'm better at being in front of the land than behind, which is his way of being, is he saying like, will you please invite me into your group photo.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Yeah. And also I'm a model again, in case you didn't remember. So Bugsie comes to take it and that kind of like, Oh, you know what, Rob, why don't you be in our picture? Me. Are you saying that just because I do modeling? I've never done a scene. So he goes and sits within the middle of them and puts her his arm around them and Jess is like spying Every where he is in this episode Jess is like right behind a door spot. I know
Starting point is 00:56:34 She is I will say she is very jealous of everything like every she's like angry at like the like the chamois She's like, well, he's holding that chamois and he doesn't hold me that way yeah you know what rob and I we're still going to ballet as of now I just hope we make it and the women all have lady boners they're like take up your shirt take up your shirt it's like no ladies I can't I can't I'm shy I'm bashful I do modeling I'm shy so they all start flirting with Rob and Hannah's like what he has doing up there he's like just breaking up. Oh my god who's breaking up is anybody really breaking up? How'd she get into reawting? Why are you so tall? Who does your hair? I love your cheekbones. No, no, it's too much. I... too much compliments. I can't take this. I do modeling.
Starting point is 00:57:28 He betterly was. He was like, well, I was modeling and I wanted something different. So now, I'm talking about modeling. I don't know if I've mentioned modeling. I lost myself in modeling, so I came out here to be on a yacht. I could model. Oh, so in the galley, Jess is like, I'm going to bad. Oh, you don't want to finish the galley before you go. It's like, no, but I helped you bring in some table decor. Look on Jackie!
Starting point is 00:58:01 And then, I think Nicole, as she goes to her room and then they start complaining about Zayda, she's like, but all those complaints, they give us food all fucking day and she's still like, I'm hungry, which is why I think I think, which is why I think in my mind, I thought she was talking that she wants a more food because they're like, she ate all day long and she's still wants more food. Oh, so they all go to bed and the next day it's the next day of charter and I'm saying this like is it possible to get a veggie omelet no mushrooms or tarragon or your dad? Oh yeah the tarragon I forgot about that. So Malia brings the omelets up you know with Jess and everything and then we
Starting point is 00:58:41 get like the classic shot of Sandy with binoculars. God, I love when Sandy does that. She's like, all right, let's see. Okay, can I see Morocco? No, not today. Who's good try? Good try. You know, just time to look out for a banana.
Starting point is 00:58:56 God, I love that banana. Just keep me and I out, see if Mary time laws out there. Wondering if she's gonna give us a little visit. So guess what? It's an outing day, so Bugs is going to send Aisha and Rob together. A lot to cause any problems, surely. No, sure, I think they've got nothing to do with this. And the good news for Jess is that she gets to stay back and you and I are going to smash Khabit! Yes!
Starting point is 00:59:24 She puts her hands up like high five. You and I are going to smash Cabbage! Yes! She puts her hands up like high five. Rob and Aisha together, you fucking kidding me! Just so mad. So, yeah, Jess is like really mad that Aisha and Rob are going to Shora, but she has to keep on like, you know a smiley face, etc. to Shora, but she has to keep on like, you know a smiley face, etc. So Bugsy asks Aisha to like work on the cabins and she's like, have they not been started yet? So I thought that's what you've been doing Jess! And she tells Jess, remember when you do the bathrooms to wipe the soap things in the mirror?
Starting point is 01:00:05 And Jess is like, I did the mirror. Don't, don't, don't. Jess is so, Jess hates Asia and at this point, I think it's pretty, it's funny because Asia is clearly annoyed with Jess too, but like Asia's version of being annoyed at someone is so cheerful. She's like, oh, I thought you already did that. Oh, okay, oh, you must be so tired. So now, Robin, yes.
Starting point is 01:00:28 He's like, well, do you want to go on shore? You good little baby. It's like, I'm fine. Are you sure? I mean, I'm jealous you get to go with the girls. Don't be jealous. I'm a model. I hope you understand my intentions. It's like, I hope they understand your intentions.
Starting point is 01:00:44 I'm a model. I'm a model. So the guesser, so they're all headed to the tinder and you know, Asia is, you know, Asia's saying, she starts talking about Rob to us, she's like, you know, the thing is this like Rob is very smitting with Jace and Aish, you know, I just I find his look a bit intense. It's sort of like bam. Here's my face It's quite angular Yeah, so the guests are ready and then Jess is like wait I want to have from the hat store, which is like an oddly an ongoing theme in the season like this Hat Store in In me orica like I feel like they're constantly going to it or referencing it like every week someone wants a hat
Starting point is 01:01:32 Yeah, cuz now that's a romantic thing cuz bugs and Alex had their romantic hat day. So just like oh my god He needs to get me a hot on his romantic day It reminds me of the seminal Amy Grant song, Hats. You ever hear that song? No. Why do I gotta wear so many hats? Hats. That's the little, that's the actual song
Starting point is 01:01:53 off of the Hearts and Motion LP. Wow. It's called Hats. I don't believe she's not still around. Hats. It's like a Shadow Mendoor song. Cause like you know that like she's like, this is the best song I've ever heard in my life
Starting point is 01:02:05 Fine, why I have to be so many things that people asked So Aisha's gonna go out and ask if she can get a hat so she can she's on the she's on the upper level Looking down and all the lady's oh my god. We should take a group photo. Let's take a group photo everybody Oh my god, we should take a group photo. Let's take a group photo everybody So someone starts taking their picture including Rob and Asha and Jess is watching from above So Rob has this backpack on so Asha puts her arm around him, but can't get it over I guess the backpack Yeah, that we've all been there. Yeah, she just drops her arm and then like doesn't know where to put it So she kind of like rested on his butt They come in with a big circle
Starting point is 01:02:46 because black and white and a circle around the hat on the butt is like, don't, don't, don't. And it's like, and then Jess is watching. And apparently, she not only watched it, she also took a picture of it because she like has it on her phone. And she's like a punch with the fucking face.
Starting point is 01:03:04 If you touch as your ass again, here it again. Here is here is this is not cool Weird Yeah, so that's that that's that's the cliffhanger We'll just murder make him to a drama because they're like next week on below deck I think I'm just jealous and it's making me insane, Rob. And then it cuts to Aisha with a big chicken leg going, pick the ass! Hi.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. We will be back tomorrow with selling sunset season final So we will talk to you then have a great wedding day
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