Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: No Ifs, Ands or Frozen Halibuts
Episode Date: September 29, 2020Chef Tom has hissy fits all over the boat on this week's Below Deck Med, and Captain Sandy gives him a firm talking to. And by talking to we mean hug. This week's bonus episode is a recap of ...The Home Edit, which you can find at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
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Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappin'.
The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about!
Hanno Bros, and Netflix too, and whatever else we like, cake and I for ass.
Uh, hi, it's me Ronnie, and that's been over there, hi Bane.
Hey Ronnie, what's up? Hi you. Hi you.
Everyone, welcome to the show today.
Go get your mask. We still got mask if you need them and also go check out Ben's other projects. He's on a
Podcast called Game Brain and he also does cartoons of Real Housewives of New York, called Real Housewives of Kitchen Island,
which you can catch on Yitzelba.
What else is going on today
before we jump into below deck?
I don't think anything else is going on.
Well, tonight I am gonna be doing an IG live with Danny Murphy.
So go, you just can come to my IG or his.
His I think it's called is at Kashmir Danny
and mine is at Ben Bendelker.
I think it's Bendelker, Ben Bendelker, whatever it is.
Just look up my name.
It's gonna be at five o'clock, Pacific, eight o'clock Eastern.
And I'm probably on there for, I don't know how long maybe like 45 minutes or so, hour.
We're just gonna talk about stuff.
So come join us.
Yeah, go do it everybody.
Well today we are on to B dick mid-iterranean. Tom continues
just to lose his damn mind. It's so funny. So awful and so funny. He's terrible. Like
it does. He doesn't even start at one level and then peak. It's just always peak terrible.
He's a fucking horrible human being. And this is supposed to make me like Malia more because
it doesn't. She's the worst. Okay, you're an enabler. Yeah, he is really, really terrible. I like, he's hilarious and how terrible
he is because it's just like so funny watching lose his mind of a stupid shit. But like, if I were
working with him, if I'd deal with him, I'd be like, what, what a, what a twat. What I'm gonna say,
a twat. Twat. So let's talk some gossip, shall we, Ben?
Yeah.
So last thing I was telling you about Malia's breakup Instagrams,
like, here's Beyonce when she was still taking it.
Here's Beyonce after she's sick of being cheated on
for the second time or whatever.
So then she puts off these Instagrams basically saying
she's broken up.
So then she does, she does an Instagram video and she's like, Hey, guys, you know, it's
really been hard keeping my private life private and everybody really has something
to say about my private life.
So I guess I have to address it.
Malia, you put it out there.
You're like the worst housewife ever.
Okay.
You're putting it out there.
So she talks about breaking up a tom and, you know,
I'm moving on to a better place.
And then she addresses the Captain Sandy stuff.
Did you see any of this?
So I finally saw this cameo that Captain Sandy made
about Malia.
Oh, good, Captain.
So whoever hasn't seen it,
it's basically Sandy doing a cameo like Ben said and
Someone asked her about Malia and she's like well, you know secretly
I think Malia is secretly gay and the whole crew thinks it too
So don't tell any but oh this is gonna be public isn't it and she's kind of laughing and dropping her phone and stuff
Well people had a damn fit about it. Of course saying she's outing Malia and all this stuff
I don't know that she really outed Malia.
I think she said she thinks she's gay, but still shouldn't be that.
Right?
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, I agree.
I guess not that you say it.
Technically, it is an outing because you just saying what she thinks.
Although I think the fact, maybe the fact that people think that it's an outing might
mean that maybe other people also think it too.
I don't know if I've really put that much thought into it personally.
Whatever it is, it's still tacky, it's still really tacky.
And I think especially given that Sandy is probably the LGBTQ community, I think that she
knows there are two things.
She either knows like the pain that a lot of people have felt of like being on the receiving
end of that kind of
ridicule, which shouldn't even be ridicule, but on the other hand, if Malia were gay or
LGBTQ, whatever, then it's really hurtful that if she is someone who's in the closet,
it's not up for you to, by you publicly putting that out there,
it is putting pressure on her.
And as someone who once was in the closet,
I know it's shocking,
but it's like a really,
it's like the worst thing in the world
when people are like, are you gay?
Are you gay?
Just be honest, are you gay?
Because you're thinking either,
you're either thinking one thing,
you're thinking,
you're either thinking that like, you are like, oh God, I'm not doing a good
enough job of like being like, like, trying to be straight. Or
I, I pretty much actually what you're thinking. That's pretty
much the main thing, you know, so I just think that like, it's
very tacky of saying did to do that. Yeah, so Malia to her credit was like, you know, and if I was gay, I wouldn't have a problem with it
I support the community, et cetera, et cetera
But yeah, I don't know that that was really her place and
Kind of gets like mad about it where I thought I kind of was thinking it was gonna go in the direction of yeah
You know, she said it, but you know, I still love Captain Sandy blah blah blah but she was pretty pissed. I think so too. I was just surprised
and I it going so I saw that before I watched this episode and I was like wow when did she get
pissed at Sandy? Well here we are. Here we are. Here we are everybody. So I think that's all the gossip from BulloDick.
I think so.
The two of them were on Watch Happens Live, but I don't know if any of the stuff was addressed
on that.
Who was?
Sandy and Malia.
weren't they on last week together?
I don't know.
Okay.
So everybody, here we go.
Silence, because it's very dramatic.
And where Tom has just had a fit
and the captain has told Malia,
stop protecting him, stop going to him, stop.
I'm not gonna do this.
Malia's like, well, I'm not gonna do it either.
Stay out of the galley, Malia.
But you just got us provisions,
and if he doesn't get us provisions,
I mean, he's just gonna walk off the boat, Sandy.
Well, if he walks, I'll handle it. And by handling it means I'll go after him and say hey there
You need a hug you need a hug. Let's have one more hug. Okay. You want to come back on the boat? Okay, let's do that
Yeah, if he walks off the boat and I'll follow him down to the dumpsters and walk around the circles while he's trying to avoid me
Sink I could have fired you last year. I could have fired you last year. God damn it.
So then we by way while this while Sandy is talking to Malayette
We keep cutting back and forth between footage of Tom just like so furious in the kitchen
And then at one point he just like takes a sheet pan just like throws it and goes fuck this fuck this
I'm like, yeah, you really showed that sheet pan. Wow. Take it out on the sheet pan, Tom.
Well, he has just dumped that whole sheet pan full of bread
that he said isn't good enough.
And she's doing that.
It's not good enough to throw it away.
Don't throw it away.
And he slams it in the bin and then throws the pan.
And then he marches down the hall
to run to his room and cry.
So yeah, he tears off his apron.
So he's in the bunk.
And so then Malia enters the bunk also.
And then I think they go into the the bathroom and we just hear him go
Fucking dementia it's pissing me off. I just want I want some fucking respect from somewhere of this
Fuck he's like being always weird saliva noises. Yeah, he's like spitting mad and he's like hitting the walls and stuff
Emily just keeps going
Hi me
Hi, you on my side I thought you're my side honey. I am coming here
The editors just cut to water rage boiling
Yeah, I love that and he's like I can't I can't I can't do it
I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I, I can't, I can't do it. I can't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, thrown into sink and a close up of the Fakacha. Like a new Fakacha.
And he's like, I copped for pay the guest lunch because there's no fish.
Even if I get it together, no one is gonna be,
nothing is gonna be good that I send out.
So I can't say, well, Tom, honey, your food is amazing.
I know you, and I know whatever you put out will be amazing.
Like for crew lunch, I mean, you always put out five plates.
Like, Kiko used to literally send down one bowl of spaghetti.
Okay, you know what? get off Kiko's ass lady
Your throwing him out of isn't it bad enough like he's gone. Okay, don't you miss Kiko now
Don't you miss Kiko now cuz Kiko never have these tantrums. Yeah, just would cry and Kiko also didn't have you sitting there being his sous-shoff the entire time
Yeah, that's true, too. Yeah, how about you help all chefs, okay?
Yeah, not just Tom.
And I just rush, he's like, the one he said, damn, once bowl of, he just said, damn, once bowl of spaghetti,
and I wrote, you mean the guy who just got fired?
Great argument, Mollie.
Haha, no, that's true too.
And then you hear the toothbrush slamming in the toothbrush glass.
Yeah, this is just glass rambling.
Which I love that we all, that's just such a universal sound. Like, I'm not the toothbrush. Yeah, there's a glass rambling. Which I love that we all does just such a universal sound. Like, I'm a toothbrush. Fuck you, toothbrush. Get back in your
cup. That's a, you just were gonna do that in the background.
Yeah.
Malia, Malia, it's my fucking reputation and then he like makes that noise. He has
like this weird like, it's almost like he wants to say fart, but he won't let it out because
Honey don't let it come between you and I and then it's silent and he goes of course I won't mother
Just have one more charter. You're gonna be fine. You haven't let us down. You've been the lifesaver this season. Oh, shut up with that.
He's not a lifesaver.
He's a chef who took a job for two weeks, okay?
Yeah, for crying out loud.
So then he emerged.
He wasn't sinking, okay?
He didn't like rescue the guy from about,
the guy who was about to get his leg cut off, okay?
He's sinking.
Exactly.
So he merges from the bunk,
and then we get one of our favorite tropes of Blow Deck Med which is hearing Sandy talking about some random
ass story without any context. She's just in the crew mass going what's it
called when they refer when they were in the refurbished it was in old jail but
they have problems with the rats. And Alex is that's fucking disgusting. I mean Tom
just passes by and bucks he gets good Tom, fall from it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Listen, if you have a problem, bring it to the captain,
but I can't help someone unless they communicate with me.
He's only communicating with Malia.
It's on time, and he needs to figure it out.
Hmm, cut the car, Tom, the kitchen wiping his face going,
F**king hell! I don't even know what it's time!
Yeah. So now there's more cleaning, cleaning, cleaning,
everyone's cleaning the boat, because the-
the guests are coming cleaning, cleaning, cleaning,
and then Tom just like walks into his walk
and fridge us.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Shit, look at the fucking state of this fudgerator!
I mean, if you're not going to give me-
if you're not going to give me the provisions I need,
then what's the point of hiring a brilliant chef?
If Sandy can't amend that, I'd rather then what's the point of hiring a brilliant chef?
If Sandy can't amend that, I'd rather walk off the boat, they not have the opportunity to serve what I can do.
I mean, for Fox's sake, the broccoli's on the wrong shelf, the papaya's over on the floor, there's apples who knows where the apples even are, and the center, the pasta, where's the pasta?
I don't even know, why am I even here? Why am I, why am I, if they're not gonna organize the pantry, what the center the pasta where's the pasta? I don't even know why my even here
Why my where they're not gonna? Oh, okay, no, it's the pantry
What's even the part of me being here? What's the point of having a one-fash if hey?
I don't get any access to the ingredients in the time to fashion I need to see Tom on shopped on chopped
I know I was seeing the same thing. I was thinking of top chef or something just any
Competition show he would just lose his mind just lose it like here is some baby poop some sardines and some bread go
I tried to I tried to cook something with it
But then I went into the walk and frigid the food and there's nothing even there
I'm what's even the bottom what is what of this?
I can't even plant my own in that wasn't even the bottom of this chopped situation. I'll say who's chopped my ass and my
Repetition okay, I will have it. I will have it on butt
So Asia is helping Rob is helping Asia fold laundry and she's like
Jessica here is them in the kitchen and she's like
She's furious so it's like is it nice being spread out a lot bad and he goes oh wasn't oh
Spreading something inside
Jess is so mad she's basically like um I
Would not have in a part for a conversation like with a she's boyfriend like that. She's so so pissed
So now it's time to change into your whites because the guests are coming and Malia Malia, can you come see me in my
office? Okay. So she calls Malia, but in the meantime, Alex checks it on bugs to
make sure she's okay and she's like, yeah, the atmosphere is weird on the boats.
It's weird because of the energy and the galleons. Now thunder.
I need the thunder.
So Malia and captain, the captain's like, well Malia, you're my pride and joy.
I'm gonna start there. Okay, now that actually went out to my Peloton at home.
Pride and joy. Mr. Pride and joy. Okay, now Malia, or as I like to call you, Sandy from the past.
Now listen, Thomas is your boyfriend.
I understand that.
And if he decides to walk off the boat
because provisions are what they are,
I would hope that you as Sandy from the past
would stay on the boat, like Sandy
from the past would stay on the boat.
Emily is like, I don't think he's walking,
but if it came to that, as much as I respect the industry
and my position, I also have to respect the side of to that as much as I respect the industry and my position
I also have to respect the side of me that's that's my partner in life not just my partner in the industry
You forgot to do your air quotes. You forgot to do your air quotes on partnering life
Payton area life quote
That made me so curious when Malia's that made me so mad. Malia got mad. I got so mad. Now, granted, I've got a lot of Malia.
Actually, my Malia fury has pretty much died down since the whole
kind of thing happened. You know, it's like been kind of back to normal, but
who says that? Like you've talked this whole time about what an incredible
opportunity this is. And then you get your boyfriend a job on the boat in
suspicious ways. And now you're gonna leave the boat if
your boyfriend doesn't get his way.
Yeah, I mean, listen, I understand it's not, you know, being a chef on a reality show
on a boat that where there's like a quick turnaround, it's not ideal.
He knew what he was getting into and also like, we've seen now like many, many chefs across
the Blue Deck universe.
They get mad, they get sorely, they get annoyed, but they also deal with it, they get it done.
And he is just so rigid, and the moment anything deviates from his plan, he just loses his mind.
I mean, I cannot even imagine what his childhood was like. Like, what did his mom do to him? Because he is, like, I'm just imagining this sort of pressure
that his mom who cooked for the Queen Mom,
like, I can only imagine just every single day,
the little comments that she must be making around the household,
like, oh, well, yeah, good.
Look at that.
You got an A minus on your class report.
That's very good, although, we must admit that
if you do want to cook for the Queen someday,
you have to get an A won't you?
You know it's probably that all day long
Yeah, but my issue with this isn't even him because of course he's he is a total monster
It's Malia. It's like really you're gonna leave like you had a fit because you couldn't sleep with your boyfriend
Which was the first thing that made me fucking crazy and then took revenge by doing what you did
Which was shitty and now you're gonna leave if you're
If your boyfriend can't hack it. Give me a break. I'm almost not mad at her. I'm actually more sad
Believe it or not. I'm sad because
She is in a situation where like
when she's around him she like
Sure identity becomes him and it becomes about making him happy and not just like being
who she is normally.
And the moment he entered the picture is when Malia turned because prior to that she
was like this awesome, like badass, you know, boasting who was better than pretty much any
boasting we'd ever seen on the show.
And the moment he entered the picture, it was like she totally changed, she totally becomes
supplicant.
And I feel bad for her because I don't think it's something
She seems to even be aware of and so I'm not I'm not angry at her
I just feel like damn I wish you saw what you've become around him
She's gross. Okay, so then Aisha is Aisha's trying with Jess right she's like
How are you big boobies?
is trying with Jess right she's like oh how are you big boobies how big are they and Jess is like well supposedly they're a double D but they don't look that big
dude they and they just laugh and she's like yes they do they do yeah and then
did she say something about like her dad she's like my dad told me that the
more than a handful is wasted. So I've got
just an half. I'm like, did she say her dad said that to her? Yeah. Oh,
crazy. I guess it's like Rob has big hands. So the fish lady arrives. This poor
beleaguered fish lady arrives and bugs. He's like, how are these friends in there?
It's like, Alex,, all except for the oysters.
It's like, where are they from?
She says it like proudly.
Yeah, so if we can get fresh on, we'll probably send the frozen back to C&L.
Look, oh my god.
Fine, baby.
I'm making no profit off of this boat.
Do whatever you want.
Yeah, exactly.
So then Tom is in the kitchen, stewing away.
Like, this is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, talking to about being in the galley, but like, I'm like, then I'm like the fucking boasting. Like, if there's a problem,
I get involved. Like, not in the galley.
No, you don't.
Not the galley.
Yeah, she just kind of makes up her own hierarchy throughout the season. Like, no, it's not your
job, ma'am. Okay. So then the captain is talking to bugs by the fridge. She's passing by her and she's like, you're right bugs. She's like, is she torn? The stuff came frozen. What do I do?
And then Tom comes by and she's like, Tom, I put the frozen fish in the fridge and goes
brilliant because frozen halibut is much better than fresh and the captain's like, oh,
fuck, really? Is it? She's like, Sandy was like trying to express empathy in that moment.
She's like oh you know, and then he's like, you know, he's like already like
gearing up to have like another tantrum and she's like,
Tom you gotta talk to me, it's frozen, it's frozen, is that what it is?
And he's like, what are I trying to speak to you about it?
But you were just, you were just, you were just calling BWA and now we'll
talk with frozen fish mother, We've got frozen fish!
Yeah, wait a minute now, mister.
Okay, I called BWA and she said she was bringing your fresh halibut.
So are you saying she did not bring your fresh halibut?
That's a yes or no question.
It's like, Sandy, if you just let me speak, I could say, oh, I don't know!
And he goes to the walk-in.
Even though he just said we were stuck with Frozen Fish,
by the way.
Yeah.
And she's, yeah, but why can't he just say, first of all,
why wasn't he checking the fish?
If he already knows the fish is bad.
I don't know.
It's like such a stupid thing to go so.
Well, it's also like, but.
Yeah, well, he's like, well, he just, he gets so fresh.
That's the thing.
He gets, oh, he gets fresh talking about the frozen. But he does, because he like, well, he just, he gets so fresh. That's the thing. He gets, oh, he gets fresh, talking about his frozen.
But he does, because he could just say,
give me one second Sandy, let me check,
and then I'm gonna tell you.
But instead he goes, well, if you just let me speak,
I mean, I don't know, because I haven't had the time
to check on it, because I've been saving crew lunch,
because I've been doing all the guest food.
So if you only have a little bit of patience with me,
I'm doing a lot of work, Sandy, I'm doing a lot of work!
It's like, oh's like just say,
just your beings, you're giving her so much attitude.
So like, don't be surprised that she's gonna get mad now.
Yeah, and also you've had fish disasters before,
like literally yesterday, so.
So when the fish lady is here,
why don't you go talk to the fish lady?
How about that?
Why don't you go down there and check the product to see what you've been delivered instead of just letting one of the stews
do it.
Yeah, he was the one who actually picked up the fish from the back of the car and was like,
oh, this is warm.
But instead of just like, he brought back the kitchen, of course, he wanted to check it.
But he was like, oh, okay, so this is not a refrigerated car.
Okay, very well.
I don't know what she is then. It's like, no, it's like, I'm getting worked up about the stupid shit right now.
I know.
I feel so dumb getting worked up over this.
I love it, I love getting worked up about shit.
So, he's like, well, yeah, I haven't had time blah, blah, blah.
And she's like, he goes, if you just have a little patience with me Sunday.
And she's like, I do have patience.
You're not telling me what's going on.
She's like, oh, yes or no. This yes or no question. Do you that to me?
Don't do that to me. She goes, but it is a yes or no. No, it's not a yes or a no
It's an odd out no because I haven't had time checks. I've got them seven jobs
You just said that there's a fucking frozen halb in the freezer. Did you not?
I love that this is like turning into a few good men a few good fish
She's like, she's like, did you or did you not say that there was a frozen halibut in the freezer?
Because guess what? I need to know if there's a brand Zeno in there later from my lunch.
Okay, what about me? What about Captain Sande? Okay, and he's like, no, I did not say that.
I did not say that. She's like, you know what? I'm walking away now. Okay, let's mean the
main slum. Because I'm not gonna fucking do do this because I'm not gonna rest until I find out
Whether or not there's a frozen halibut in the freezer and if it might be gay, okay? That's it. You can't handle the fish
So now he's like I'm fucking done. I cannot do this. I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done and back as he goes
It's gonna be all right Tom look. I done. And bugsy goes it's gonna be alright Tom look
I've got Barrett's say it's gonna be
Right
Gonna be all right
Everything's gonna be no time no cry
So the captain sits down with the crew and the salon and Tom's not there yet and she goes he can fucking leave
I don't care and Tom's like on fucking real real she's strong to warn me up that one on fucking
rap.
Tim, Malia, Boatsy to the main salon, now okay it's the wrong person to piss off.
So she they have a meeting and she's like you know what makes Tom a great chef is
he's a perfectionist
but the chef is at his caliber needs to learn how to improvise okay I need a little guess
and fish okay this is improvising with Tom yes and no yes and fuck you Tom every scene you did tonight was about your mother can we
All right, we're gonna need some words for the audience okay, what's your word right there?
Diary, well, I'm not gonna do that now my word. I've heard chosen my word. I can't do diarrhea
That's absolutely wrong. I've been trained by call the brebs
I'm in how am I supposed to improvise this environment, okay?
Like there's no script there's no there's no words. There's no plans. There's not nothing and am I supposed to improvise in this environment? Okay? Like, does no script, does no, there's no words,
there's no plans, there's nothing, and I'm supposed to improvise.
How am I supposed to improvise without a script?
All right, now I'm the wrong person to piss off.
All right, let me do this with prayer hands,
let me do this with prayer handablegies, okay?
And I'm gonna keep hitting my microphone
just so I heard everybody's, okay?
Now, all right
last charter I know that right now we're having a problem with
provisions but what makes us stand out wait for it it's what we do with what
we're given okay now this is not gonna be perfect it's what we're given. Okay, now this is not going to be perfect. It's how we finesse it.
It's our attitude towards it.
I wanted all of you, Tom, to feel supported by your captain.
I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to take you down, but I certainly will not be
spoken to that, too like that.
Ever again, Tom!
And Tom is sitting there on the couch, the way I would sit on the couch, where I was trying to get out of mowing the lawn or something.
You're just like, you know, like, I want to mow the lawn.
He's just like doing like a silent pout, right?
Just like staring off, like, I can't believe this.
I chef for my caliber, getting scolded, but a captain who doesn't even understand
what a frozen heart
But even is okay, she put the button halibut, okay?
That's improvisation for you. So she goes on to say everybody's a most crying
There's a lot challenging you and I'm gonna cry now
It's tiring okay. We want to be we want to do our best sometimes
But it's not gonna be the best and listen. I've've said from day one I don't care what the client says I care what I think I care what my
Peloton guy thinks okay yes I only care about what I think about you and I do
care about what the client says actually you know it's so hot don't serve any
lukewarm food okay because I'm gonna be up there and I'm gonna be in the
galaxy at the same time.
So, but I do care about you.
That's the most important thing.
We're champions.
It's time for commercial.
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So then there's dramatic music and Tom is back in the kitchen with bugs and he's like,
um, was I speaking to her out of order there? I'm not simply ridiculous. I mean, all I was doing was having a, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love stuff, I love Well, I can't say Tom because you were around the corner from me when that happened,
so I cannot be a witness. Please don't drag me into this.
And it's like fucking hell.
I'm fucking hell.
Like, she didn't like how I was talking to her, and I understand the gist of it,
but it's not relevant.
Clip of five seconds ago.
Yeah, you know, the years of Gordon Ramsay's and the years of Gary Rhodes restaurants,
and working under mother, and that's what it comes from from it's a pride thing and you know that yes their first
world problem which guess what we're in that first world want to bloody art so it's a very
found problem and Mother ever sees this happen for me she'll be like why did you cook in
that restaurant that has a knife of the hand it doesn't work and the buns are burnt
and it's terrible Mother's terrible.
So Malia comes to the kitchen she's like,, Jaime, don't worry, it's only three days.
And if they complain, it's about the provisions,
not you, honey.
He's like, I don't give a fuck all right!
Oh my god.
What about the best scots?
Yeah.
So...
I mean,
it's...
F**k, I don't like f**k!
So then, they line up because the guests are coming.
And Sandy's standing next to Tom,
so she's trying to cheer him up,
because she's like, okay,
because she's like, you know, he's all,
he's sulking now, so she's like,
she's even more good at it.
Yeah, he's like, come on, come on, head up.
I'll get you a lollipop afterwards.
We call the lollipop on from the lollipop.
So here comes the girl's Hannah comes, and she's got a cast on, and the lolly, pop. So here comes the girl's, Hannah comes,
and she's got a cast on,
and the captain goes, what happened to you?
She goes, pack her!
I know, and Tom is like so judgey,
but he goes, she's got a cast on,
I'm like, relax, she had an injury
while walking in a fast and unorthodox way.
Yeah, she was trying to scale a bit building, okay?
By going up a little bit of its will.
Oh, that's well.
Hi, welcome.
We've got the age team here
and they're gonna show you a great time.
Mr. T, anything to say about Frozen Fish, didn't think so.
Okay, bugs, give them a tour.
So they're going on the tour and Tom is like rage,
rage tearing lobster tails off of the lobster, like the poor lobster.
I mean, it's bad enough when it has to go through,
but like the rage with which he was ripping those tails off.
He's a mother.
And bugs give the tour and she's like, this is the cigar room.
Anyone's Mexican.
No, then it can be the champagne room.
And Hannah goes,
Aw, everything reminds me of the kids.
You're James Smoking, cigar chomping,
champagne,
yeah, swimming kids,
and I don't know what the hell.
Hannah's the primary,
but there's also another primary name,
Zahida,
oh, she goes,
you just call me Z,
and she's like,
no champagne for me.
I'll, do you have sparkling rosé
because champagne goes right to my head.
I'm like, oh, it's kind of the same thing.
So enjoy that.
And one of the ladies is like, I'm on a yacht in Spain.
What are you guys doing?
School drop off.
That's unfortunate.
K. Rennada.
So then, um, the, so then bugs is asking them about when they want lunch and
Z I'm just a color ZX. I don't know how to say names. Ada Zyda. So Z is like yeah
How about like 230 and then this other girl Nicole's like yeah about like two and then like
Z just like stairs at her and then the camera zoom in on the coals like bum bum
I'm like, oh god. I forgot we haven't had any of these type of charters this season when the guests fight with each other
I know they hate each other. So bugs is like
Ah, 2 2 30, how about that?
Oh, so Zeta is so mad at she gets her drink and she's like so mad
So then we got a bugs and she's like, Tom, do you have a minute to talk about lunch? She's like, three courses, one course, one, mediocrity, course two, provisionless sucker, mediocrity,
course three, just fucking hang me off the side of the boat, drag me down till I drown.
Sounds delicious, Tom. Yeah, well, I was going to, I was going to
sit in hell a bit for lunch, but I'm not prepared and detained that
I like I guarantee they would not have to understand I mean guarantee just put the halibut in the water for like
45 minutes and I guarantee no one would know the difference don't do not try and bring common thawing practice into the
Practices into this
I'm not the same thing. I was like, uh, oh hi it's called a bowl of warm water okay yeah
geez seriously how many times has he been told that in this life it's called the bowl of warm water
yeah so he's like you can only afford the frozen fish at Trader Chose I will say it's called
the bowl of warm water sir seriously I mean the I mean, the fish is served over ice, okay?
So, not sir, but it comes, you know,
they catch and they put it on ice.
So, Malia is, so she's, Malia's not allowed in there,
so she tells Alex to go help out Tom.
So, he's just like standing around there.
Then Tom, now Tom's trying to act like cool,
because Alex's like, yeah, you need my help,
and he has something like that, and he's like,
no, I'm fine, everything's cool,
and he has everything's fine, I'm fine. Everything's cool and you have everything's fine.
Everything's fine.
Yeah.
Yeah, people like Tom usually don't talk to the man that way.
Notice?
That's, yeah, exactly.
So Alex is like, come, it's just an easy lunch.
You're a bitch lunch.
So it's a funny way to put it as I snort like a little piglet.
So Hannah comes in and she's like, Hi, I'm Hannah.
She jumps on the counter.
She's like,
Everything looks so good.
I'm so excited.
Jump onto the other counter and then like does the hand stand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you for walking over my frozen heart,
but it's just about to serve you.
So Antam's been like all friendly, like,
Yeah, it's now we're gonna have some lovely food.
You're gonna really enjoy it.
Everything's fine here.
Everything's fine and fine and cool.
It's a cucumber in here.
Oh God, the cucumber, the cucumber!
Hmm.
So in the mess, Molly is with the debt crew
and she's like, well, I was gonna give you
a big inspirational speech, but for some reason,
all I can say is, honey, honey.
So she basically, she's like, I have an announcement to make.
We squashed the lead DeCand Pete.
You had a rocky start, but gosh, you've
sure done a great job of being cut out of this show.
So thank you, editors.
Rob, you've been the most consistent.
And Alex, this brings me to you.
I never thought I would say this, but you're
a lead DeCand and a decent stand in Siouxchef.
So thanks for that.
He's like, yeah, it is awesome.
I mean, now I can grow in the industry.
I mean, yeah, I'm like, no one cares.
So then-
Three days is bleed that can't on a boat.
Yeah, enjoy that.
So, I only want to see ceremonial positions
if they're done passive aggressively.
Like when Kate Chastain would give out epilets to someone
just to make someone else feel bad like I love that like okay
So Susan you
You are a mediocre Stuart best, but you're ten times better than Renee over there
So she did the Simone. Oh, yes
Malia's like honey are you gonna be okay with lunch at 2 o'clock?
I was like, whatever!
So then he's played again.
Yeah, some people are changing and the ladies are taking selfies and he's fucking shit provisions again.
Who do I speak to again? Who do I speak to?
She's like, what happened, honey?
She's like, who do I speak to about this shit?
Problems with the provisions, so do I speak to Sandy and run the risk?
Oh, fuck that!
Fuck that!
Malia, can you come here for a second?
I mean, look, look, that's the halibut for dinner.
Rock, hard.
Okay, you know what?
There's the scallops.
Okay, and what the fuck is this?
Malia have only just found out.
I've only just found this out.
That this is frozen.
I mean, I'm just starting to, I'm putting the fucking provisions away. It's it's like Tom Bugsie literally told you the halibut and the shrimp are frozen.
And why you act like you're just finding this, don't you remember your earlier temper tantrum?
You literally had a temper tantrum about this already. You're doing reruns, okay? Like, you know this already.
Yeah, you just look like a huge fail. Check your orders, okay? I've never worked for a chef that doesn't go take his own damn orders.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
So, and I've seen plenty of ender get his ass chewed as well, and it's really fun. So,
this has been much better taken up with the fish lady. So, Aisha is just laughing to
the laughing her ass off at this at the door, and Bugsie is actually cooking. Did you notice
that?
I know Bugsie was like fussing with the pan.
She's like turning the fish because he's busy
having a temper tantrum in the walk-in.
And he's trying to explain to me, he's like,
it's like Malia, it's just like giving you
one bottle of fucking Washington, which I cleaned the boat.
And then saying, oh, it's a day to day dirty.
It's just like that.
I'm like, it's not like that at all.
And she probably would make it work without complaining.
Calm down for one second and listen and bugs.
He's texting and it's just like, he's gonna pop a socket that one.
And Malia is in the walk and she's like, listen, just go to her and say, Sandy,
I got shit provisions.
Okay, let us help you got shit provisions.
So the captain is wandering down the hall and she talks to bugs.
She's like, what do you need?
I'm just trying to sort this out for Tom. Do not get on Tom's wagon. You
have to raise above the Tom wagon, okay? Yeah and she's like I'm just trying to
help and she's like I don't give a shit, okay? Okay and bugs is just like oh I'm
just trying to help a situation. And then we see Tom Boisey Tom, and now he's moaning.
He's like, I could have been in the UK.
I could have been seeing my fucking family, my uncle, my friends, and yet I'm not.
Ooooo!
Um, so, uh, the girls are outside, and one of the girls tells Nicole, what is the other girls doing?
She goes, I don't know.
And I don't like care either.
I don't care, I don't care what they're doing.
Ah.
So now Tom is at full tantrum level again.
I'm sick of this, I'm sick of this and Lee is like,
but honey, where on charter?
I don't care, I don't care about the guest Malia.
You have to understand this, I don't care about them.
Ah.
And then back with the captain and bug,
she's like, do not get on his wagon.
I don't give a shit, you gotta come to me come to my wagon come on my wagon Emily is like
Tom you've got to go to captain Sandy and say captain Sandy the provisions that I got her shit and then you put it on her
Yeah, and Sandy is like listen bugs. He cuz it's going back and forth between these two places and Sandy is like
Listen you're a calm?
You can shoulder this. Tam's energy has rubbed off you, okay? Instead of improvising,
he has put all his shit on everyone else, okay? He has provisions, Bugsie. He can cook. He can cook.
He can do his food.
So Malia finally gets Tom calm and she's like you just need to cool it when it comes to Captain Sandy trust me
It's like I get it
so then
Stairs the ladies Nicole's like oh my god. It's like the champagne cruise. Oh, no the champagne gang the champagne gang
The champagne gang
Yeah taking photos a pie down low.
So then Alex and Rob are talking about
how they only have two days left, again, no one cares.
And now it's lunchtime is approaching.
And then we just see the shot of Rob
just sprinting into the laundry room
and just making out with just vigorously.
I'm like, I would say you should get a room, but they
actually have gotten a room and it's still terrible. It's just... Stay in your room. Stay in the room.
So Zeta is like, excuse me, do you guys use filtered water for the ice machine? And he's just like, Yes, terribly filtered. All of the water that comes in here is filtered.
Mm.
Fully lying, clearly fully lying.
So, uh, so, ETA for lunch is 34 minutes
and now lunch is going up and Malia's helping regardless
and they all are getting lobster tails
with orange and fennel.
And guess what, the guests love it.
They're, they're, they're super happy. So, despite all his moaning groaningennel and guess what the guests love it they're
I love it they're super happy so it's all his morning groaning yeah guess what
else Tom made me a help him again exactly what a fucking disaster of them you
are fucking disgusting with this and then he then he has this whole rant he goes
you know last time I had I had the time to burn all the chicken out and then
refill the chicken with some herbs and lemon inside but it still looked like a
whole baby chicken okay it was a whole baby chicken but I had no bones there's a
boneless baby chicken it was an illusion okay it was art that's what it was it's a
nice way to beating it but this time I just had to take off the flits and plate it
in a gorgeous way. It looked beautiful it looked like all these nice pieces of
chicken with like stuff on it and he's like all these nice pieces of chicken with stuff on it.
It's like a planning that you didn't have time
to do that super like technically precise method
of taking the bones out and reforming it
in the shape of a chicken.
Like chill out dude.
Like these guests are fine with chicken served
in slices on a plate.
And Aisha's like, this bored little British brat!
How do you see that as a tractor?
Exactly.
Yeah.
So then Tom just jumps up and throws an napkin.
I'm like, something shocked him.
Yeah, please.
I'm like, please, what is wrong with you?
And he just starts screaming.
It's shit, it's bloody shit
And then he runs
He runs down stairs to his dream and starts punching the walls
What the hell is going nuts? It's all shit, it's all shit
And then upstairs H is like would you like some chicken? It's all shit
Chicken anyone chicken
What the hell so I mean this is this whole episode you guys
A whole episode it's so good so now he's back in the bunk like literally like the fifth
time they're having another bunk meltdown and once again it's like that
foaming saliva sound was like my
my good someone just get him a rabie shot at this point geez so bugs is trying
to find him and she's like Tom Tom, Tom! Lily is like Gelf or Tom.
Oh, he can answer his own radio, Malia.
Oh my God.
So Bugs, he comes to the room, she's like,
I'm sorry, but can I get an extra,
an extra lobster tail please don't hurt me.
Mm-hmm.
Malia is like, Tom, you have two more dinners to get through.
I don't give a sh- if it's a million dinners,
if it's shit food, I'm not happy.
Look at this, look at this, look at this way. I am a chef and that's
what defines me. Serving this shit, it's not right. It's not right, ma-na!
Well, you've been pretty well-defined, I think. I don't think you'll ever be looked at
quite the same again, sir. I know. So now, now, time to anchor, preparing to anchor.
And when Hannah goes, oh my god, look at that rock.
When you go to Disneyland and you see a rock wall,
it looks like that.
It's like, wow, I'm sure God is touched by that comparison.
Who would have thought the Imagineers of Disneyland
based their rock walls on actual rock walls?
Yeah, crazy.
So the captain comes to check on them at lunch and they love it and basically that's it.
I don't know.
They love every single thing that happens.
Yeah, they love it.
They love it.
They love everything.
Yeah.
And so now Tom is like, calm again.
He's like, you know, Milly, I just want you to know I appreciate everything you do.
And she's like, Tom, just, just laugh it off. It's funny, just laugh it off. So he's like, calm again, he's like, you know, Milly, I just want you to know, I appreciate everything you do. And she's like, Tom, just, just laugh it off. It's funny, just laugh it off.
So he's like, fine. So he's like, now he's like, back in the hallway, and Aisha just comes running through.
And she's like, she's like,
Guse me, I've got a bursting blatter.
And she like, pushes past Tom, and he's like, I mean, it's a,
he has his look on his face, like, it's bad enough that I have to cook with friends in that.
But, but now I get shoved into a doorway like a common peasant
It's not wrong. I can't do this. I can't I can't I can't
So then we get a Hannah and Rob scene don't don't don't
So she falls she's on a jet ski yeah in the ocean and she's not on it anymore
So Malia's like Rob could you try to park her on the waves? Yeah hop on the Jets game make sure she's okay and so he goes out there and she's right out of
gas and so he's like so what made you get into Paul Cool? She's like well I had my
third kid and I sort of lost my identity you know so now I'm the lady who
jumps from things. I know and then Rob goes do modeling. But I started y'all trying to get away from everything.
I lost track of myself as well. I'm like, just so you just have to go check on on her.
You don't have to like form a connection with her. And I love that he, of course, he starts off saying,
I do modeling. Of course. So anytime he tried, anytime Rob tries to convince you that he's deeper
than what he presents himself in, just remember that he leads with I do modeling.
Yes.
And Hannah's like,
ow, I got stung.
I've never been stung by a jellyfish before.
I'm like, wow,
this is the least dramatic person to ever be on this.
Oh no, I've never seen a reality star
get stung by a jellyfish and be so calm.
Like they all freak out.
They're, it's like,
it's like always a commercial break.
Like jellyfish are like the commercial break of all commercial breaks. Yeah, he's like, I'll get you some
vinegar. Oh no, it's fine. It looks gross. I mean, it is. I guess, oh, I'm so nervous
speaking with you. She's just, oh, you're too kind. No, I'm serious. You seem very like
observant and mindful. I'm not used to being seen. Oh God.
Yeah, she's like, I hear you and I feel you.
He goes, I love that language.
And just like watching, like, whatever.
He is such a douche. I'm sorry.
He is. This is bullshit. This is bullshit.
He is flirting.
I love that language.
I love that language.
I'm not used to being seen.
Oh, shut up. you're a model.
Like literally paid to be seen.
Jesus, do some more pushups.
Not used to be seen.
I understand what it's like.
I understand what it's like to be stung.
I've been stung not by a jellyfish, but by life.
No, I was actually stung by a jellyfish though.
Really, it's an actual thing. And he's rubbing lotion on her and he's like, does that feel better?
No, keep rubbing it.
And Jess is like, I don't know if I can be with someone who keeps doing the same thing
over and over again.
Like that's the definition of insanity.
Whatever.
So leave him.
Leave him.
Just leave him then.
If you don't know, just leave him.
Yeah.
Oh, so dinner prep.
Bugs is putting candy and glasses.
Little gummy shots.
Mm-hmm.
And she's like,
Oh, I'm not playing around.
I have your shot here for you,
because I'm a wild and crazy Bugsie.
And you've got to eat the gummies
because they are sucked in vodka.
Yes, Buxi.
We all know what a vodka gummy bear is.
Yeah.
So they all do all the women are like, have lady boners over Alex.
And he's like, I got no complaints.
Yeah.
And then now, like they're going down for an app, ladies are going down for an app
guys, which means that Rob and Aisha have time to
Flirt while they
Fill garbage like they're like she has a garbage and bag and I think he puts another garbage bag in it or some like that
And they're making jokes about filling holes and just speaks for all of us when she goes
So buxy checks in with Tom and she's like, you could for dinner tonight and he's like,
I don't know, I'm just not motivated.
I mean, lunch was shit.
I don't even know my ass for my elbow anymore.
But they spoke so highly of the lance.
He's like, you know, even if the guests were happy, your still upset.
I mean, so many people are willing to give an inferior product but it's just not me I mean is there anything more ridiculous than
perfectly cooking a chicken but they're not being able to debone it and form it
into another perfectly looking chicken I was thinking more humiliating than that
so let's see the tables being set and it's just like it looks like a cool box. I'm just building. I love building.
Yeah, she's like putting a tablecloth on a tablecloth. You know, did you put the tablecloth out there?
So now in the crew mess. I can't say. I can't buy you. Clare. Clare. So in the crew mess, Sandy's, she's with Tom and she's asking about the relationship
or asking Tom and Malia and Malia is saying how they went on a band trip with, she went
on a band trip with Tom and it was just like so, so fun and it sound just very terrible
to me.
Yeah, they worked together then they went on
like some little trip after.
And Caption's like,
well, the stress that he's putting on her
and the stress she's putting on herself
is really starting to bother me.
So then the moms are getting ready for their dinner
and Bugsie and Alex have some more awkward flirting.
She passes by on her blacks and it's like,
oh, he's like, all right, take a leave. So then the ladies are in the cigar room waiting because Nicole
is taking forever to get to dinner. Yeah, but also dinners at 8.30 and it's only like,
you know, at this point, it's like, it's like, like, 7.55 at a clock, but Zeta is hungry.
She's really, really hungry. And Sandy, like, was walking by and she's like,
oh, I heard somebody's hungry.
Now listen, I don't care what the guests think.
I only care about what I think about the crew,
but I did hear your hungry,
so I'm gonna get on top of this right now.
Who's hungry?
Who wants some food?
Who wants some food?
Oh, God, she does it again.
Okay, you just did this with letting them on in our early
and you saw the hell that that caused
and now you're just gonna tell them to move to dinner.
What the fuck?
Yeah, that was bad.
Sandy should stay out of that.
She should stay out of all of this.
She's up in her quarters.
What is she doing?
Let the interior manage the guests.
It is, that was bullshit. I actually can't walk around and be like, oh, let's just start half an hour early.
Who cares?
The fat, the fish is frozen.
How it's supposed to be?
Come on!
She should have said, hey, you guys are hungry.
Let me see if they got some snacks before dinner.
Like, she can't just like,
there's a whole system in play here, you know?
And so, they,
because Sandy was like, okay, go up to the dinner. Go up to the table. So they're now like, there's a whole system in play here, you know? And so, they, because Sandy was like,
okay, go up to the dinner, go up to the table,
so they're now like sitting down.
I mean, not even Bugs, he's ready for them.
Like a scissor's still sitting on a chair,
and she's like, oh, let me get that scissor out of here,
away, sit on the scissor!
And she goes down to tell Tom that they're starting to sit and she's like,
but don't worry, not everyone's there yet.
And then we see Nicole show up with like crazy hair.
I don't know where Nicole was, but I think she was looking up at the first two or whatever.
I think so.
Yeah, first two, the chief officer.
First mate, first mate, who was, who was, first mate got some camera time this episode,
by the way, did you notice she was like steering the ship at one point
So it's like only 20 minutes
Well the guests have sat down, but the last thing I want to tell Thomas that they're already seeded
Yeah, so then bugsy is like everyone I'm I have some masks to make you know more fun
Listen if I'm hungry and I'm sitting there and there's no food and someone hands me a mask to make the experience more fun
I'm I
Don't even know I'm turning into Tom at that point
Like this is I'm fucking me and I'm fucking me
So Zeta of course is just complaining. She's like is anyone else hungry?
I want to the girls tries to lighten it up by going
I dare you to bite into this pineapple.
It should go, I'd rather sit here angrily
than bite into that.
Yeah.
And then it goes like, well, if you want service,
just ring the bell, and it puts a bell in front of her,
and it's like, give to this fucking bitch.
I'm like, don't mock my hunger.
So time for some man, she go croquette.
Malia, Malia, can you give me a hand for a minute?
Can you give me a hand?
And Sandy, like, you're as can say that.
And she's like, oh, come on, come on.
And they serve anchovies on toast and say to us, like, um, no.
No, thanks.
With that anchovy filtered.
So then, Tom was like, Malia, Malia, stay there a minute.
All right, open that and lay it out on here.
Yeah, and then like someone else is helping
with something else.
He's like, no, no, have Malia do that.
Have Malia, no, Malia, you wanted to do that.
Malia, you do it all.
He's having Malia like open up Pajudo and fill up bulls,
et cetera, et cetera.
Like everything that she's not supposed to be doing
at this moment.
Yeah.
So Aisha Tuzrab.
You want to lolly?
She's feeding me a lolly.
I love lollies!
And just, just, just hands Aisha's like a plate or something.
She's like, could you just throw this away?
And then throw yourself overboard, please, thanks. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so,ie offers some drinks in one of the ladies, because I want a Martini
Britney dirty, not Christina dirty.
Yes, but by the way Bugsie came back with a Martini and was like, here's your Martini
super dirty.
I'm like, that was Christina dirty.
You just sang Christina dirty right now.
She asked for Britney dirty, which by the way isn't even a thing, but like, unless you're
talking about her feet, which is like worse than Christina Dirty.
So this mom has it all wrong anyway.
I don't know.
I feel like I'm not gay enough for this conversation.
It's okay.
Well, you know, maybe you should talk to Captain Sandy.
She'll have a good read on you.
You know, I think Rowdy might be gay.
Something's telling you
So many are now doing dishes and Tom's like she's still love me. I would understand if you didn't
It's like nothing can change that honey. You're still my favorite human. I don't even fear human
Honey, we all have bad days
I just don't want any of this to overflow into our relationship that would be the worst thing that would ever happen you little banker
You little banker you're getting me to close the window you're crowding me me me you're crowding me
So the girls say it is like I'm tired. I'm starting to get tired and they're like no sleeping
Check yeah, I just want to read a book and Hannah like, um, it's 947. And it seems like, so she goes down to like her room
with a friend and she's like, I just need to get away.
Like the conversation's not flowing
and you know, like that I was having issues,
you know, I was having issues biting my tongue.
Yeah.
And H is in the mess and she's like, you know,
they're really lovely, but one of the primaries
is really weird.
Oh yes, that's how she found out her broad size,
and it wasn't even with her father's hands.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
And then down in the bathroom, Nicole is now
muttering about Zeta, and she's like,
I just feel like they're so stuck up.
Those girls are such bitches.
And then Zeta comes upstairs.
She's changed, and she goes, hey, Bugs,
can I have a glass of red,
maybe more fuller than the other one?
Oh, I thought she said she wanted to be more full
than the last, I thought she was asking for more food
for the next meal, but that probably makes more sense.
Oh, maybe, I don't know.
Either way, she wanted more of something.
Yeah.
And Nicole's like, yeah, I do not like the vibe.
Okay, just had to bat for a second.
So like we're waiting for these girls to go at it, right?
So then Rob is talking to Hannah
because he's near the table.
They're both alone by the table.
And Hannah's like, why are you guys always dressing up
even though you barely see us?
He's like, so we look good whenever you see us.
How do I look from standing upside down on the ceiling?
God, that's talent.
That's talent.
And then, can you take a picture of us?
We wanted to do a group photo.
And he's like, let me get someone else.
Let me get Asia because I'm better at being
in front of the land than behind,
which is his way of being,
is he saying like, will you please invite me
into your group photo.
Yeah. And also I'm a model again, in case you didn't remember.
So Bugsie comes to take it and that kind of like,
Oh, you know what, Rob, why don't you be in our picture?
Me.
Are you saying that just because I do modeling?
I've never done a scene.
So he goes and sits within the middle of them and puts her his arm around them and Jess is like spying
Every where he is in this episode Jess is like right behind a door spot. I know
She is I will say she is very jealous of everything like every she's like angry at like the like the chamois
She's like, well, he's holding that chamois and he doesn't hold me that way yeah you know what rob and I we're still going to ballet as of now I just hope we make it
and the women all have lady boners they're like take up your shirt take up your shirt
it's like no ladies I can't I can't I'm shy I'm bashful I do modeling I'm shy
so they all start flirting with Rob and Hannah's like what he
has doing up there he's like just breaking up. Oh my god who's breaking up is
anybody really breaking up? How'd she get into reawting? Why are you so tall?
Who does your hair? I love your cheekbones. No, no, it's too much. I... too much compliments. I can't take this. I do modeling.
He betterly was. He was like, well, I was modeling and I wanted something different. So now, I'm talking about modeling.
I don't know if I've mentioned modeling.
I lost myself in modeling, so I came out here to be on a yacht.
I could model.
Oh, so in the galley, Jess is like, I'm going to bad.
Oh, you don't want to finish the galley before you go.
It's like, no, but I helped you bring in some table decor.
Look on Jackie!
And then, I think Nicole, as she goes to her room and then they start complaining about
Zayda, she's like, but all those complaints, they give us food all fucking day and she's
still like, I'm hungry, which is why I think I think, which is why I think in my mind,
I thought she was talking that she wants a more food because they're like, she ate
all day long and she's still wants more food. Oh, so they all go to bed and the next day it's the next day of charter and
I'm saying this like is it possible to get a veggie omelet no mushrooms or
tarragon or your dad? Oh yeah the tarragon I forgot about that. So
Malia brings the omelets up you know with Jess and everything and then we
get like the classic shot of Sandy with binoculars.
God, I love when Sandy does that.
She's like, all right, let's see.
Okay, can I see Morocco?
No, not today.
Who's good try?
Good try.
You know, just time to look out for a banana.
God, I love that banana.
Just keep me and I out, see if Mary time laws out there.
Wondering if she's gonna give us a little visit.
So guess what? It's an outing day, so Bugs is going to send Aisha and Rob together.
A lot to cause any problems, surely.
No, sure, I think they've got nothing to do with this.
And the good news for Jess is that she gets to stay back and you and I are going to smash
Khabit! Yes!
She puts her hands up like high five. You and I are going to smash Cabbage! Yes!
She puts her hands up like high five.
Rob and Aisha together, you fucking kidding me!
Just so mad.
So, yeah, Jess is like really mad that Aisha and Rob are going to Shora,
but she has to keep on like, you know a smiley face, etc.
to Shora, but she has to keep on like, you know a smiley face, etc. So Bugsy asks Aisha to like work on the cabins and she's like, have they not been started yet? So I thought that's what you've been doing Jess!
And she tells Jess, remember when you do the bathrooms to wipe the soap things in the mirror?
And Jess is like, I did the mirror.
Don't, don't, don't.
Jess is so, Jess hates Asia and at this point, I think it's pretty, it's funny because Asia
is clearly annoyed with Jess too, but like Asia's version of being annoyed at someone is
so cheerful.
She's like, oh, I thought you already did that.
Oh, okay, oh, you must be so tired.
So now, Robin, yes.
He's like, well, do you want to go on shore?
You good little baby.
It's like, I'm fine.
Are you sure?
I mean, I'm jealous you get to go with the girls.
Don't be jealous. I'm a model.
I hope you understand my intentions.
It's like, I hope they understand your intentions.
I'm a model. I'm a model. So the guesser,
so they're all headed to the tinder and you know, Asia is, you know, Asia's saying, she
starts talking about Rob to us, she's like, you know, the thing is this like Rob is very smitting with Jace and
Aish, you know, I just I find his look a bit intense. It's sort of like bam. Here's my face
It's quite angular
Yeah, so the guests are ready and then Jess is like wait
I want to have from the hat store, which is like an oddly an ongoing theme in the season like this Hat Store in
In me orica like I feel like they're constantly going to it or referencing it like every week someone wants a hat
Yeah, cuz now that's a romantic thing cuz bugs and Alex had their romantic hat day. So just like oh my god
He needs to get me a hot on his romantic day
It reminds me of the seminal Amy Grant song, Hats.
You ever hear that song?
No.
Why do I gotta wear so many hats?
Hats.
That's the little, that's the actual song
off of the Hearts and Motion LP.
Wow.
It's called Hats.
I don't believe she's not still around.
Hats.
It's like a Shadow Mendoor song.
Cause like you know that like she's like,
this is the best song I've ever heard in my life
Fine, why I have to be so many things that people asked
So Aisha's gonna go out and ask if she can get a hat so she can she's on the she's on the upper level
Looking down and all the lady's oh my god. We should take a group photo. Let's take a group photo everybody
Oh my god, we should take a group photo. Let's take a group photo everybody
So someone starts taking their picture including Rob and Asha and Jess is watching from above So Rob has this backpack on so Asha puts her arm around him, but can't get it over I guess the backpack
Yeah, that we've all been there. Yeah, she just drops her arm and then like doesn't know where to put it
So she kind of like rested on his butt
They come in with a big circle
because black and white and a circle around the hat
on the butt is like,
don't, don't, don't.
And it's like, and then Jess is watching.
And apparently, she not only watched it,
she also took a picture of it
because she like has it on her phone.
And she's like a punch with the fucking face.
If you touch as your ass again, here it again. Here is here is this is not cool
Weird
Yeah, so that's that that's that's the cliffhanger
We'll just murder make him to a drama because they're like next week on below deck
I think I'm just jealous and it's making me insane, Rob.
And then it cuts to Aisha with a big chicken leg going,
pick the ass!
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. We will be back tomorrow with selling sunset season final
So we will talk to you then have a great wedding day
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