Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Superstorm Sandy

Episode Date: July 25, 2018

Captain Sandy loses her banana this week on Below Deck Med, and Hannah is in deep doggy do. This week's bonus is our trip to Philly and our night out with Patricia, Kathryn, Michael and Whitney from Southern Charm. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Trixie Monocle tees at crappensmerch.com avail through July! **Crappens Live is coming to Philadelphia, Montreal, Palm Beach and Atlanta! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello and welcome to Watch Your Corruptions, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on you your brows. I'm Monique arm. I'm also from the Rose breaks bachelor rest and here I am as usual with my gorgeous little talent Man of the internet been mandelker. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi. How's it going? So good. I love a below deck, but a low below deck day Yeah, me too. I'm excited because after this is done, uh, I am going to be headed to Montreal today. I'm going a day ahead of you, uh, to have some fun times at that just for last comedy festival. I'm really excited to go to this thing because I've heard about this festival for many years. I'm excited to go, to go both as someone attending,

like to fan out with all these people, but also as a part of a duo performing at this festival. It's gonna be so exciting. And as we've been mentioning a lot, this is like a really big platform for us, and there could be a powerful and exciting and interesting people who might come to our show. So we want to put on the very best show possible and so if you are thinking about coming please come because the more of you guys that are there the better our show is going to be

Yeah, we'll be there Friday and then we are going to be in West Palm Beach and Atlanta for two shows in Atlanta one is sold out So go get your tickets for the other and those are going to be the end of August My birthday show is the Atlanta show, so that's gonna be a relief on. And then 10th of September, so that's a little way away, but feel free to go get your tickets for that one. And today we are covering B.L.O.D.

And by the way, the tickets are at watchrecrapins.com. Yes, you can find ticket links throughout the whole year. All of our dates are up there now. So you can find ticket links for whatever city you live in. And you can get our Trixi Monaco shirts for the rest of, I think, like a week and a half or something will be Trixi Monaco. So those are limited edition t-shirts.

Go get them. You can find those links. Also, guess where, guys? It's going to shock you. WatchUpCrapins.com. OK. Yes. Yes. So today, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- guess where guys is gonna shock you watch what crap is calm okay yes yes so

today uh... uh... do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do the banana song on the deck. So here we are. And you know that Hannah still not feeling good because she's the previously voice and she's like, oh, she goes previously on the actually Mediterranean. Believe it or not, you know what's funny is I wrote almost the same thing because I thought it was Brooke and I saw her down previously on the romantic Mediterranean.

What an interesting and Hannah could not have been more bored Previously on holo and below dick Mediterranean. I could have sworn it was broke in the middle of it like caught up in love So I guess we'll just have to let let's just open it up to the listeners. Who do you think it was? Which non-American accent was it? Wasn't Casey. So we don't need to get through all the previous things. Because the things are still, the same things are still happening on this episode. We open with Jamie Coffing.

She has been thrown down into the basement, which actually turned out to be the best room of all. She's got a TV in there, really pretty fabric walls. I mean, it's beautiful room. It's super nice. I'd stay sick. Yeah, and the show basically opens like it's the, you know, things are tense because Kenny and Amber at the last second of decide they want to do a beach picnic with no warning and they're down to She's, she is literally like in her bed recreating

the ring. Like she is just like, you know, like basically just in squalor curled up about to come through all of our televisions and kill us all. I've been spending that contact to get some payback on me brah I'm gonna just roll with the flow and the hashtag no one is had which I still find very unamused in but I'm gonna wear it cuz I'm a professional Michelin Oh. So then we get another. Oh, Jamie coughing while Katie's starting to kill a shot upstairs. Mm-hmm.

And then Brooke going to Casey. Now you know things are desperate when you have to go up to Casey. Like, you're going to have to help me right now. You're my last hope. Case is like absolutely as she like knocks over every glass into the iron. I'm waiting for it to heat up. I just served Kenny some chlorox. I think he likes it. And Hannah, I've never had things already. You take a little bit. I'm just going to have to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to have to go to the bathroom. I just served Kenny some chlorox. I think he likes it. And Hannah, I've never had an anxiety attack on my boat. That's nowhere to go. There's more to this and just come right now that I've had time to think of it. I've got me capped in breathing, dead man neck and I'm sharing a room with someone who's huking up with my mortal enemy. But you better get your ass to work. Okay, Lee? Yeah, she's literally blaming Sandian brook for her anxiety essentially So meanwhile the tenders ready to go to start transporting stuff and Conrad's like well, you know, I want I want to check in on Hannah the love my love

But I don't want Sandy to see me coming out of her charter I'm her room her room mid charter. So I've got to just keep on doing this gotta keep on doing it and do I mean I was like I love appreciate chat as honestly, I love it. I get such a boner. I love it. Alright, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna keep the drinks coming. Because the more drinks you have, the more naps you need.

Alright, keep the drinks coming guys. Let's nap it up. Let me go check in on Jamie. Hey Jamie, how you doing down here? Has my little sick leases cuddle bug and just like, I just want to make sick. Ah, don't cry little girl. You don't have to be sick. You can just sleep. Sleep. Take a rest. There you go. Nap it up. Oh, there you go. That's good.

Oh, that's good. Oh my god. Don't give me sick. Don't give me sick. Please. Alright, you're back to your acquiring dean. Don't feel like you're not part of the rest of the group even though you've been acquiring dean. With horses, I would never miss a training session and it's the same with yachting. Like what?

What? I have to have as good as a yachting record as I did have a horse riding record. How am I going to break this yacht if I'm not at work? How am I going to get to the chocolate milk if I'm quarantined down here in this luxury room? And then the guest star of the show, the Eskies, which are the ice-coolers. Eskies. Big show for Eskies. Big show for Eskies. We could use some more ice and she's like, there's ice in the Eskies.

Oh yeah, yeah, I love those skis drumming well Sorry, you do it. No, no, you do it. I didn't have the thing to say. I was gonna go. I was a vaccine. I was me too I was gonna say it's why I used to having skis here. Okay, he's a rooting us. Yeah, fucking Eskies. Fuck you, I hate those Eskies. Yeah. Yeah, they're on the beach. Just go out and brook around the beach. And he's like, the African fleet, they're longer African.

That's for sure. That's for sure. Oh, he was willing to shave the sores of his feet off on a bedrocky Mediterranean beach just to be with me. That is love. I'd never seen it before. Love is a sunset and nibbling off the little sores of your man's feet. He remembers his no longer an Africa.

Love is watching a man sacrifice all his bunions and corns just to be with a lady. He's passionate about. His like man, listen, he a grant Grant I'm from Zimbabwe and I'm not used to the grand being so rough on me. Every other piece of grand I've ever been on has broken up with me. In Zimbabwe we didn't have much ground that's all that's the way we didn't have much so we didn't take it for granted. Zimbabwe you know we stand on curbs. Yeah, we've got there's no grand this no story. It's one big curb. I had to grow up quickly to happen to walk on non-soft ground in Zimbabwe.

So back at the boat to that test of Kenny and Amber. Then Adam Conrad Adam Conrad Adam that's Conrad Adam Conrad Adam Goddamn it Kenny. Something with me. I can't take it bro. I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die You know that backscalion wit you have what does that mean? I guess he means he wants some from her Oh Wait hold on one second. Let me close my my room door give me one second you keep bam bam bam Ben is closing his door. I don't know why he needs to close it, but he is back I'm back. Oh man. I was just about to get to the keyteens. Glad to go back. Oh shoot. Oh shoot. Okay, so Adam's chance to shine with Kenny. It's his moment. Yeah, he's like, listen, Conrad. I don't want to put the food on the ground. So if you can have two tables,

then I could put food on one table and you can serve it on another table. I'm back. Put food on one table and he can serve it on another table. Wow, forward thinking from the chef. Yeah, I love an atom returns. He's you know like the head of ER. Yeah It's like slice of mozzarella slices the good guy Adam you can calm down there and Casey says wait What about these skis? Okay, see good job good job that was a good find those My god, we could have had a lunch we could have a picnic with no skis. Oh God, I mean those skis I haven't seen those skkies so happy. And you know the difference? Hannah's not on board.

Oh God, you know what? If you hadn't had enough rest, you wouldn't have noticed. You wouldn't have remembered the Eskies. I'll tell you that much. So then we get to the... Guess what I like an Eskie full of rock-leaf potatoes. That's a good Eskie. They're pyos nips.

All right, all right, there you are. I'm you're doing a good job too. So Casey gets a little clip talking to us and she says, Is Hannah Hongover or does she have bronchitis like Jamie? Hmm. Finally, I'm able to shine because Hannah's dead now. Okay, thank you Detective Casey. Yeah, congratulations, you lifted up a cooler. So Adam's like that an Eski is not an iron

Baby steps, but you know come down. Eski's short for Eskimo, right? And that's the brand, right? Yeah, the coolers Yeah, the Eskimo coolers. So so Adams like whoa Bro, you know, she just pulled off the fastest beach pate again in the history of yawning. Whoa, I could kiss her. Oh my God, I could bone her. I could put spinach all in her omelet. That's what I could do. But the monk is not my tass. Well, you know what, I'll do.

I'll just think about that idea, but include a one table and give it to another table. Wow. Yeah, and everybody is basically like, hey, Hannah's not here. Yeah. So rude. Sand is like Conrad, he's laser focused. What's the difference? Hmm. You're right. So the banana. Oh, I loved that banana but not what rhymes with banana, but the banana yes. So then Adam comes in with some food for Hannah. He's like Stessons delivery! Wanna make out, babe?

She's like, oh, you don't wanna make it with my breath, right, me? All right, you got my breath there, so you need to brush my teeth. And I'll say, no, breath, I won't. You wait your time, honey. So then Adam's like, that's just what I do. Sometimes you just gotta ask someone, how are you doing? Are you doing okay? Before you then you start to undermine them from their own crew? So then over at the beach party are they are we at the beach party? Yeah, yeah, we are Kenny Amber is like, oh you guys the rim is you into wow wow brook's like

Never-not-rim is Oh, never not Rumi's. She's like, yeah, sometimes you're Rumi's. Oh, in my head, probably in professional, but clearly we're giving off some mega vibes. I was like, make American great vibes. What? Are you a Trump supporter, Brooke? I know, it does sound like she said mega vibes.

Yeah, exactly. I never thought we'd lose. No one thought she'd lose. Oh, yeah, I thought we had a romance that was hidden behind closed doors and darkened windows But it turns out all the world can see it's because love cannot be denied Real life is not quiet it blows ten to cross beaches And the tent you know blows away and Kenny said, oh, yeah, I I say baby to go.

Oh, I don't know where this ice ice is coming. Yeah, well, we learn a little bit later, but at that moment, I was like, wait, what? So then we see Sandy with Kenny. Kenny, by the way, in every scene has a new pair of stupid sunglasses. Yeah, he is, you know, those ugly son and I get it because I'm a big guy too. And you know, when you're big, you have patterns of a shirt to work with, funny socks, or wacky glasses. And Kenny's got like every terrible plastic, you know, gas door, gas station, Cynthia Bailey,

neckless glasses on. Yeah, seriously. He is probably still saying things like winning, you know, like and he's you know, he's that type He and Ashley from Southern charm winning Yeah, totally so back at the book captain Sandy is doing some dishes. Oh, yeah, I'm a captain If you're the manager of a restaurant and you got to do dishes. You got to do dishes. Oh, hi Oh, it's not doing some dishes. I go hey dish guess what I'm gonna put you over here to dry That's called the dish nap right?

Ah, I have a good rest right here. We're gonna quarantine this bowl over here There you go. Just just get some rest. We're gonna flage up the lower bowl. You're taking that till we're ready for you again. Okay. You know what? I love that these bowls they just fit right inside of each other. That's just called teamwork. You know, there's no there's no eye in bowl. Okay. So the guests come back and they're all using the slide. Yes, and the camera says, how was the picnic? Oh, they love the, and they love the food at them. Oh, guess who's doing amazing.

Everyone up here is doing amazing. Adam, you're doing amazing. Brooke, you're doing amazing. Salad bowl. Okay, good. You can't hear me because you're taking a nap. Good. Which is amazing.

Sal is not here being a friend. I guess it was not here being amazing. Not going to say your name, but it bugs me that it runs with banana. Okay. Tell you that. So so so kind of goes into check with Hannah and he's like, you know, the last thing I want to do is ever to abandon someone. I'm not going to treat Hannah the way my biological dad did be. Just throw me off in a bin when I was one month old. I'm like, I think like if you

don't check in on Hannah for like another hour, you will not be committing the same sins as your father. It's okay. It's okay, gone, Rad. I don't want her to think that I'm just like my dad never talking to her again. I'm like, oh my god, she's taking it now, but it'll be okay. All right, Mediterranean Sandi's handy to Mediterranean Sea to boat to boat to sea to boat to sea to boat to sea to boat to sea. I'm gonna move the boat a little bit. I can move the boat. Everyone, hey, all the fishes get out of the way. We're gonna move the boat a little bit. Okay, just gonna move it over there for a second. Okay. Yeah, I want to move it around because there's more wind here. Okay.

Yeah. And I know, rack the boat is a fun song, but it's not really a good vacation Everyone understands who's with me everyone okay? Down everyone sit down sit down sit down sit down you're rocking the boat you know, I'm saying So Conrad's like so do you want me to tell the boat? Yeah, that's a great idea. To the boat So the slide the slide the slide yeah, cuz they're making the vote. So while, so he, so he does, he says that and meanwhile Casey is serving Pinot and War to think they're all, all the guests are in the tub. And Kenny's just staring at her with like, boner eyes.

Like if his eyes could be erections, that's what they would be. He's just like, so he's really gross that guy. It's like, Pinot and War, no, there's no with that. Do you have any Pinot and yes? Yeah, get he's really gross that guy. It's like Pino. No, I know there's no with that. Do you have any Pino? Yes, yeah, get on it. How about some penis in law? I know I'm saying she's like, uh, I'm gonna say no to him and no and no and no until finally he gets it. Um, so then Jowell, uh, meanwhile I was like, so he is what I think you should do Conred. Why don't we take the slide down and put it starboard? We'll deflate it, put it starboard, turn it upside down,

shake it out, put a starboard, then move it up to the other, the FDX, then back to starboard deck, and then we'll have it all ready. And Conred's like, no, I think we got, we're just gonna tell it. You're like, all right, well then, why don't you explain to me why you want to take my view into consideration? You're like, well, because I already made up my mind and what I want to do, we'll want to just explain to me

in this in Bobway, they explain to you. That's what you get in this in Bobway. You realize I'm just trying to off some advice, just some free advice, some free advice, some free advice. I'm just so sorry, it's only advice that you have to take. If you're not going to be sui to me, and make my fear like shit,

to come someone having an opinion, and Conrad's like, you know what, how about you shut your mouth and do your job, and that's it. And I'm like? Oh my god I love it. Oh, I wonder who has been rubbing off on him. Oh, God. Yes, who's not here? So draws like hey, didn't talk to me like that don't talk to me like that Should you take this show?

Don't come to show it off How about you respect your boss and before you ask for respect from your boss? I think you just called somebody a cock juggling Seaward like a second ago so shut up. Yeah Well, when he was when he was saying I'm just trying to give some free advice I was like oh my god Memories of Andrea from real house. What's a Melbourne? He's like Jane or I just want to give you some free advice on how to act in public, Jainer. Well, to take the advice and shove it up your corn hole so far, it comes out your throat

dinging. So now Jawa was really mad. He's going up to clients like, I mean, why would you, why would you tell the slide? How was that better than slightly deflating the slide, putting it in the passageway and carrying it on the boat? I'm like that sounds worse. That sounds like active work. You have to deflate it You have to haul it up put it on the saw put it back down everything. It's just such an asshole No one cares stop pausing everybody around your jackass, okay?

And I'm so glad he went back to being this much of an asshole because last week He like made me feel something for two seconds when you talked about his rough life. And I'm like, fuck this guy again. Yeah, exactly. I hate feeling things for terrible people. So then meanwhile, he's like, well, the captain would listen to me because I'm bidding in him. He literally says, I'm bidding in him like a baby. And then they show the captain up on deck with her cell phone, taking a picture. And she's like, you're doing great, Ken.

It's like, oh, God, look at that slide. Look, she all there goes. There's a slide. The slide's like a banana in the water, but slide version. I mean, so funny. Wow. So then she passes by Adam. And Captain Sandy usually describes the boat a little and then stays on her room. Like,'t see much of her So this she has to be out on the boat because she has to help so much So she's she's loving doing all this work like she's yeah, so gotta get out of here She goes oh, hey Adam that food looks so good and he goes you look so good Like what? She's Adam. Oh Yeah, give me some extra broccoli tonight. Would that be possible? Oh good

Oh yeah, give me some extra broccoli tonight. Would that be possible? Oh, good. So she checks it on Hannah and Hannah's like, yeah, I'll be good next thing in the morning. Oh, good, get some rest. That's my favorite thing. Get some rest. Oh, for a season and a half, Hannah, I just want you to get some rest.

And finally it's happening. Oh, God. Finally, it's happening to me. Who I got been in that bed, that map. Okay, you're asleep. God, we're here. Oh, meeting Mr. NAP, the NAP of my dreams, the one who makes me count sheep or whatever it means.

So, so anyway, so Sandy's like, Sandy's just like in a happy place. Hannah's like out of the picture. So Sandy's just thrilled. So she's like, oh, wow, you know what that picnic that was just wonderful. And look at that. Oh, look, there's a sliding the water. And she was like, Oh, Conor, it looks ridiculous. I've never seen a tiniest with a fucking blown off slide. I've been in the water. My house is mixing. Oh, but I need to say, like you said, it's just like, Oh, that's, oh, wow. Are you upset? You want to come up here? You want to drive the boat a little bit? Wow, you want to come drive the bus? Yeah, come on up here

You're in a bad mood and your dad when you're a little kid is like you want to drive and he lets you touch a steering wheel Captain Sandy is doing with you out. He totally fall like dry. I literally thinks he's a captain now It's so funny. They keep showing him up on the bridge and he's like Captain now it's so funny they keep showing him up on the bridge and he's like yeah, they throw it. Draw the debate. I'm drawing the boat. He's like making serious face staring at all the panels of instruments. It's like, okay.

So Brooke and me also Brooke and Casey are like getting ready for dinner and she's like, I'm so happy that there's no tension with me in the case, sir, I got in. Wow. I was worried that love would get in the way, but foolish me. Love is never in the way. Love doesn't hurt. Love helps flowers blossom. So Casey's like, um, I really want to help you, but I have to iron purple napkins.

And Brooks says, don't worry about that. And I'm like, oh, no, I hope have to iron purple napkins and bricks is don't worry about that. I'm like, oh, no I hope there's some purple napkin drama later. I know, but there wasn't there wasn't I was so sad I really thought this was gonna be a huge drama So meanwhile the slide after like literally like it felt like every five seconds They kept on cutting back to this slide in the water like the sun had already gone down That's light had already gone down. That slide had been out there. It was just like on its own little journey.

But now it's finally back. They hooked it back up onto the boat and then he's like, you know what? There are many ways to solve a problem. There's no right or wrong way as long as the problem is solved and as long as you get a nap afterwards. Am I right, everyone? And Colin, I mean,

Conrad is high-f in Colin because they did it. It's like the first compliment he's ever gotten from Captain Sandy, you know. And so I was like, I'm so mad. I just drove about off to his day of respect on bigger than he na. I can't. And he goes, this baker's never been so happy. Yeah. I, I, um, I love the fact that like the, I love the adrenaline thrill that they got out of towing a slide across water. It's like, oh my god, we're doing it. We're

dragging something that innately floats across water. And it only took us six hours. So, it says, well, she's like, yeah, well, Jamie still sick, Colin. And he goes, yeah, I told her to get some rest. And she says, yeah, because they're now, right that down. Why don't you talk to the pots and pans about it? They know, they know. So the guests have been wasted. So they go taking up and Kenny and Amber just stay in bed, like they didn't get up. And dinner's supposed to be at 9 30

But of course they're like smelly bed, you know and the poor The poor what's it called the basketball player? He's like relatively on time He's like maybe like I think he's like maybe 50 minutes 10 or 50 minutes late at max and he is hungry and he's just waiting and waiting and waiting Yeah, he's like I've got to eat. I don't care if it's cheese. I don't care. He's one of those people who's like, I'm big. I need to eat immediately.

Yeah. But to be fair, dinner is at 930. And like, I would be, if I had to, if dinner's at 930 and I'm waiting 90 minutes sitting in the same chair, waiting for this douche bag to show up and I can't even have onions, then I'm'm gonna be mad. Well this is kind of an odd thing because no one even gives them something to munch on. You know, I don't know what this cast has against peanuts. Put some peanuts out, y'all.

Yeah. Put them out. Yeah. Put them out. Goddamn it. Get some goddamn peanuts. Yeah. So, let's see. Brooke is commuting. She's like,

I have a monster communication and since Hannah's not here, I'm gonna communicate. Edum, we've got two guests, but love will never make you feel like a guest in your own heart. There are two guests, and if I had to guess about those guests, I would say they're in love! Love is like a meal unto itself. There's no order, there's no appetizer, there's no trail of dessert. At the end you say, I have food, coma, I just want to go to sleep in love No Adam has got this new attitude. He tells us a yacht chef has to know how to prime things the prime rib Half-cooked because if you cook it fully you're fucked You know if he's not gonna have it for two hours look how I've got everything I just look what you learned that yesterday because you haven't been able to do that the entire time and also that steak is gonna Be totally dried out. Well, yeah, exactly next step learning about putting food in the fridge when you're waiting

He's like I'm gonna give them the best dinner they've ever had twice baked potatoes and a steak and a steak. Wow. Fantastic. Well, it is Kenny, you know, it might be the best dinner he's ever had. So now it's like, it's like, it's just going at the time, it's taking by, it's taking by, it's taking by, so finally, and people are getting hungry, so Brooke is like, I have to wake them up, and I'm so afraid that if I knock on the door they might fall out of love and I just couldn't bear to know that I ruined two lovers' chance at having love

for the rest of love, Trinity. I don't want to bring hostility into their relationship. Just as it started to bloom into a beautiful bear bear. just as it started to bloom and to appear for ba ba there could be in the midst of telling each other how much they love each other and if I were to interrupt that heavens I'm not sure could ever forgive myself so as they do on the show at the time we just see close-ups of clocks as the time passes and passes and And finally, she calls. She just calls on the phone, because they won't answer when she's knocking the door.

And she's like, I'm dreaming about pickers and pussy. What do you need? She's like, this is love calling to tell you. Take your chance. It doesn't come around every day. You would say it, Connie. Tell Amber, you love her. Tell her you want to spend the rest of your life with her.

Tell her you want to clutch her hand and always see your future in her eyes and also dinner's ready. So then he's up and twirling trays around, you know, and he was like, my stomach doesn't feel good. So they say in bed and, um, Brooke and, you know. And they were like, my stomach doesn't feel good. So they say in bed. And Brooke and, wait, let's see. Well, Adam is like, oh yeah, you see, Brooke is amazing, you know?

She's always trying to find a solution. She's managing the guest. This is what you got to do. I could kiss her right now. That's when he says I could kiss her right now. I could get, sir. How is this any different than when you have to wait for somebody else who makes you wait two hours to serve dinner? There's literally no difference.

Okay, so then Hannah and Hannah and Casey, let's see. Oh yeah, Hannah is hurting something. No, she like Hannah like emerges from her room to take out a stain. She's like, well, honey, the anxiety is passing. So I'm going to do something that's's gonna give me a little bit more, so I can get a little bit more nap time. I'm gonna take the stains out of this, the stains that I got in it from Conrad during that night.

Kasey's like, how are you? Stains, anxiety, boy. I can't keep feed Dan, but I can get stains off. That's what I could be. And Kasey's like, I can't. So Adam, yeah, this is where Adam's like, I'm gonna show what I can do as a chef. I found a fig tree.

So I made a fig course and a trash big potato and then I'm gonna finish him off with a river. So at the table Brooke brings some bread and Kenny's like, oh, she's got nice buns, I promise. That's just his way of saying that he loves Brad. And I can't stop a man from loving what he truly desires. So then, then, Sandy's like, well, you know what? I'm going to help on service. Hey, Colin.

Colin, stop looking at porn. And they are come help me. He's like right away, huh. I was just writing a song for my mom called miss you miss the basement. Call me soon. Oh, so they serve some things with a hunnag glaze and those who's walnuts. So then conrad climbs in bed with Colin crimes Cromes had climbed to bed with Hannah for a little bit, and she wows up on the bridge acting like the captain. Exactly, and then I like that after the meal starting, and then they're like the, you know, broken case you're clearing the dishes and Brooks, like, they used to take knives

for a mousse bouche. Like even Brooke can't believe it. And that's what Colin makes some sort of joke like. Oh, that's crazy. She's like, he's like, and he's like, I'm always making her laugh. Oh, makes me feel like the world's best comedian. All tight. So then he's the dishwasher is jammed. And she has the dishwasher is jammed and she is Ah, the dishwasher is jammed. Sometimes you got to get rough with it. He's like Oh Physical comedy. It's unparalleled So everyone everyone loves the steak and everyone's basically saying, oh, dinner service is so much smoother without Hannah.

Everyone just piling on to them. So Glad Hannah's not here, et cetera. And afterwards Collins, like, you're doing some sort of, is like, I'm sweeping up the floor. I'm sweeping up the floor. And Brooks, like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and Sandy goes, oh, he's hysterical.

Yeah, that guy's funny. I haven't seen him show that funny since the King and I back in high school. You know, that's the terrible comedy, the King and I. Okay, you know what, it's the funny show, Lake Mizorab. Ah, well to all laughs. I'll tell you a fantasia in the color purple. That had me on the floor rolling around. Stitch is.

Stitch is. Wow. So, wow. Then we cut to Amber telling everybody, that was the best potato I ever had. And I was like, well, I didn't do it. Congratulations. It's time for commercial. It's time.

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you'd like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. I'm for a crap and it's commercial. So now they're, uh, now the night's winding down.

Joel and Brooke are making now. Conrad and Hannah are cuddling. And it's a successful first day with Kenny despite some hiccups. And now it's the next day and Colin calls his mom. He's like, hi mom. He's like, hi, Collie. So good to hear your voice. It's been like a week.

How's everything going? Did you do your Broadway song? I know your workshop and that. Did you do it? Did it go well? Did you do your yachty song, honey? God, I'd miss hearing that coming down from the basement. I could feel the rumblings of it when I'm standing in the kitchen.

I knew you think you couldn't hear me, but I could. Did you do it for her? Did you get a job? Have you met a nice girl? Why haven't you called me? I've been crying every day. Have you been able to get some you-hoo? Yeah, you like to get you-hoo over there and know,

okay, well, you know what, I'll save some for you when you get home. I'll tell you this much, you find a girl who loves chocolate milk. You found a girl that Colin can love. You understand what I'm saying? Colin, get a better Colin. They're almost the same thing, Colin.

Don't be afraid. You know, chocolate milk and you who very similar. So meanwhile, bye. Hi. Meanwhile, we had to Jamie coughing all over the laundry room. So now everybody's going to get sick. Hannah, meanwhile, is wiping down the sink.

And Hannah has like, I was sick yesterday, voice, you know, so she's like fine today, but she's like, she's fully like, case like hanging in there and I was like, yeah, hanging in there, yeah, okay, come on. You had a whole day off. You can have normal voice, not I was the yesterday voice. Yeah, good to work. So she goes into Casey and she's like, hey, is it going down here? And she's like, um, everything's been great. Like, prep on the abgen's totally got hired. Oh my god, no, tell me please don't tell me. I found some ass skizz. She's Hayes Brook doing and broke her and she's like, well,

Mike, she thinks everybody's talking about her and she's raw, but I told her, no, we're not. We're totally supportive of it. And it it's like well, I'll think there's just some confusion going on honey Because you know, Brooks a top of girl who goes from relationship to relationship and he sees with this like what I lose What an idiot and cases like I'm wait a minute two weeks ago She wanted to fire me and now you want to be mean girls with me in high school and gossip all day Like this is the power move. And I'm surprised that I'm like, her chest moves. And power move.

Yes, power. Chest. Chest the peak, bae. I would be so flattered. I would love nothing more than to be on a brink of being fired and then be like recruited to be an ally in like a vicious game against another girl. Like that's the best.

Yeah, but I don't like this. You can't just be mean to somebody because you don't like to wow. Okay. Like you tried to she was hooking up with the chef in the first season. He's the biggest asshole on this show. Well, no, I, I mean, I agree. I mean, in the sense of like, like, I, I, I, I mean, I don I, what's weird is that I don't really think that there's like a huge amount of tension, but they keep saying there's tension, but I'm not really seeing it.

I mean, she's probably like, well, listen, this guy's a dick. He's such a dick and then Brooke never backs her up. Brooke is like, what I think I have to go to hell and that's probably like frustrating. And then she's like, don't, don't go, don't date him. He's terribly, he's gonna treat you like shit and she does it anyway and Jowell probably will break Brooks Hart and then brick will come back. I just one of those things like This is so annoying. Yeah, that's the and we see the tension because when brick and Hannah are talking Brooks like guys, there was awesome yesterday and Hannah's like good. Now everyone can be hippie

But she's pissed, you know, because she's making Hannah honey squint eyes. Yeah. Brut's like, well, I feel a bit betrayed, but Hannah, well I'm not gonna entertain it. Which is the second time we've heard that, I'll bravo this week. Yeah. And Brut says, it's different between us, Hannah.

He don't wanna say it, but I felt the wind change and my heart flatters towards the east and the steppe towards the west. It's not the same. And Hannah says, well it came between us, honey. She basically, like, listen or respect your choices. I'll always respect your choices, honey. But I'm allowed to have opinions about theme 2. And also be careful with these askies.

Okay, Hanna. Yeah, she goes, do what you'd like, sweetie. And Brooks says, oh, no, but I'm not even dealing in a fan. I'm not done in a fan. The tent did something. It flew from the power of hearts coming together on a bitch. She's like, whatever, yeah, watch the askies. So I have a question. So well, a few things happen also.

The Adam proposes an onion scavenger honk which sounds really super fun. And then he's like, oh, that's a great idea. And then also as they're starting breakfast, there was this one moment. Did you notice this? Joao and Conrad are just like sitting in the crew mess eating breakfast. And then they have a close up on Joao looking really guilty as eyes start left and right. And then we see a wide shot of the two of them. And Conrad just goes like this, oh, did Joao fart or something? What was that?

No, my note says Colin and Joao don't, or was it Conrad? Conrad? Conrad? Oh yeah. Conrad and Joao don't speak in crew. That's all I saw. But Joao is like an asshole to everybody, and then he wonders why I know what likes him.

Exactly. Yeah. I've just took it as that, but. So now Kenny's talking to Hannah, and he's like, so guess what? We started going Jouah's ice, because he's like, ice man in top gun, you know? She's like, I don't know what that is.

Oh, so you like any of the guys here? You're probably too old for them. You're probably just an old hag around these guys, right? Awkward. And she's like, well, yeah, because he says we made iceman. We put in with Brooke. And she's always been seen there. Is that the one with Tom Cruise is coming off a plane

and they call him Rabbit or something? And he goes, Maverick! They call him rabbit or something. And he goes, mad rig! They call him mad rigs. I don't care, Kenny. He's like, you're too old to these guys. Oh! Oh! Oh!

So awkward. And then it just gets more and more awkward with Kenny and Hannah. Just cracking. Yeah. Exactly. And Adam meanwhile is still talking about how he's like, I just really want to prove myself

that I have what it takes to make a guy like Kenny happy. That's like seeing you want to like, I just really want to prove myself that I have what it takes to make a guy I can't be happy. That's like saying, you want to like, I don't know, like who like who is like you're trying to impress like some guy selling, you know, like pinwheels on Hollywood Boulevard. Like who cares? Yeah, just make it decent twice baked potato. Make a couple of boob jokes and you'll win. Yeah. So Jamie's Jamie's cleaning the deck because she's like she refuses to stay inside, you know, despite concerns from Drew. I was like,

are you going to get us all sick? She's like, only if you eat my spoon. So Jamie's cleaning the deck and he's like, okay, you know what, as long as you're going to be out here, I want you to stay away from the the dark and wet places. The dry sunny places is okay. And if you feel tired, just go down and have a nap. We love our naps. Don't we? And she's like, all right, just like, uh, stubborn little thing isn't she? Ha. So Hannah goes to Kenny and she's like, Hey, do you feel the safety? And I set up a bar on the tender and you guys can explore. You're going to get jet skiing fast. There's

water sports and 230. I'll book you on that private oil and over there and he's like hey can brick Kenny and Brooke take no can Brooke and I take us And I was like I'm a honey This just didn't from the honey report. I thought I was your number one. So how are we gonna honey this up honey? And he goes well you can come Was just so touching Yeah, she's like I knew you'd honey come to your mind honey So he's saying I'm gonna do a wakeboard give me wakeboard and I'll do a backflip for you

Yeah, as if anyone cares about that. It's like watching a meatloaf fall over so captain here She's like Conrad Sandy Sandy Conrad, Conrad Sandy, Sandy Conrad, Conrad Sandy, Sandy Conrad Conrad Conrad Conrad. I was waiting for the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big,

the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big,

the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, Maybe it's like y'all gather around, we're gonna do a little show, can you do a backflip? Forget then you can all go back down to your underwater domain. Thank you. So the Hanna sees card, Rage, is like, can we get a pedal board in the water? Can you want a pedal board? And so Con Rage is trying to make everybody happy and do it, you know? And then the captain's like, what the hell is Con Rage doing? It's about the quickness of the toys.

Yeah. So she starts, she starts being like, what is Canrad? Canrad, what are you doing? Get out of the way. Where are the wakeboards? I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. I've got people telling me 10 different things. Like, just people like everyone, every other person. The names start with an ancient and with an ancient have a banana in the middle without the bee

I can't I can't reveal there's a lot of things a lot of things can read Conrad yesterday you were laser focus. He was like who is this guy? God she was like some bringing Zeno God into you or something and then today it's like back to this back to Just strange broccoli and potato is minus both And guess who was my deck when you were when you were acceptable her name rhymes with Banana Fanna for Fanna Fee fight more mana Go ahead finish my sentence and he's like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa no no and he starts getting mad and like back talking The captain. I mean really Hannah is rubbing off on him

Yeah, she's like okay turning him like a little rebel. He's like no, no, that's not it. That's not it I've even spoken one word to her today. She's okay take a breath Okay, just as a reminder I can hear everything you guys say on the radio So actually you're lying right to my face is stupid banana fuck. Okay, come as a reminder, I can hear everything you guys say on the radio. So actually you're lying right to my face. You stupid banana fuck. Okay, come on, wakeboards. Meanwhile, Brooke and Colin are like again together and Brooke's like, they're talking about the night before and she's like, Oh, you're a great panchraham Colin. And he's like, oh, stop it. It just felt right. And she goes It's kind of love that she actually laughs T. He actually is a T. He here So then can he finally gets his wakeboard and I don't even do his flip you don't think I even did his flip I don't know I

I'm assuming the ocean would have told us I'm assuming the ocean would have told us. I've been like, no. He says to somebody, he's like, got a great ass. Yeah. Every time they show Kenny, he's just being disgusting towards the woman. Yeah. It's true. So then Hannah tells the captain, where we're taking them to the caves.

And it's going to be super fun. And captain's like, oh, look who's on it. Hannah, she is back. She is focused. She can be Hannah banana now because I love that banana Hannah on my hand is like you know they are the insistent we go with them but only that if you don't want me to go I don't have to go she goes first of all that's hilarious because Kenny was just going to exclude her the whole time anyway and they're having this well if it's just a coke for a bit, you come right back and don't spend hours and hours

and hours and hours with them, then add all mind. Yeah, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, a simple Coca-Cola with the guests, come right back, everything's gonna work well. Now in my mind, I'm going to a nice screenshot, someone's gotta get it. Oh no, no, it's a Coke. You get a Coke, you don't get a Coke float,

that's for sure, just a Coke, okay? But in my mind though, so what was the plan that, we're gonna take them out there and then Hannah was gonna come back on her own and like how is that logistically going to work? Well they didn't really need to people so I guess Hannah was going to go serve drinks and like hang out with them a bit and then come back and he was going to go pick them up and bring them home but was it oh like meaning that they would come back and then someone else would go out with the tender and then go like I but

doesn't someone I guess I know how it makes sense but I know that can he specifically asked for brick and to out and then how to kick them off and took their. Yeah, it's just. You go there and have a soda. So. So yeah, I'm not. But just captain Sandy was pretty clear. So I'm not really sure where they're going. Yeah, she said just have like like, you can have like a drink, but like, don't go for hours, hours, hours, hours. And so you know, on of a stay, he's going to make me drink. And I wouldn't pass, put it past Sandy to breathalyze of me to see if I can get back to the boat. Yeah. So now the guests are there on the beach with Hannah and Conrad. And they're having a fun time and meanwhile, back on the boat, Jamie's coughing and Brooke is

talking about the tension with Hannah. She's talking to Jawa about the tension that she's having with Hannah now and things like that, you know. Can he's wearing a t-shirt that says new money LOL? And he's still wearing his F-check, no onions hat too. Sorry, are you saying? I love when people label themselves, it saves us so much time. I know and then so meanwhile on the beach Conrad's bitching To Hannah about Sandy and Sandy's just like on on his ass today as usual and Hannah's like well, you know I'm in a position where if she's salsa me I can just be like you know what honey honey and that's it I can honey her rod up. And he tells her that Captain Sandy said he's better without Hannah,

but she know, is starting shit. So his kind of like too much of a little girl, I think, to be in that relationship, because it's like, you don't want to just ignite Hannah. Okay. She's already ready to go off. So it's 6.20 PM. The guests have decided they're going to start heading back. So they're on the boat, but they're not really being so quick about going back because they're stopped and they take a picture here, look at the sunset there. They're just sort of like, it seems like they're just sort of casually heading back.

Oh my god. I'm sorry. Someone is like, they're mine. Some weird stuff's happening on my window, but I will not be distracted by it. Apologies. Well, Casey is in the same place as you. She's like, what am I doing right now? Check the table, Casey. Check, okay. Oh, gosh.

Why is the iron sticking to this? I cannot be supposed to iron the table, Casey. Sorry. Got him better with that. What about Hannah? What about this? Oh, Casey. Don't iron the eski, okay so captain comes in she's like

where's Hannah with the guests for their finding her soul mate that's a seven o'clock yeah we see a clip of captain say you can have a cook and as long as it's not hours in the hours exactly so now at 7 it's 7 30. Where's Hannah? Where's Hannah? Still not back? That's just wrong. Candy, that's just wrong. You do nothing for 24 hours and then you make Brooke the one who worked for you. Stay here and work while you go out on a boat. That is wrong, candy. That's ridiculous. Candy. Is that fair as a leader?

I mean, you're basically forcing someone to have reverse naps just constantly staying awake. That's not right. You can't take someone's nap away from them. You can't a reverse nap is a pan. Okay. And I've watched enough pans while you were sleeping. Okay. Now get back here.

Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Sandy, Hannah, Hannah, Sandy, Sandy, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Sandy, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, back to this boat. Now I'm not fucking happy and tell her to see me immediately on the bridge. No, not you, no, no, no, you don't get to ride the bus now. Hannah's in the bridge. No, not you, Joe. No, no, you don't get to ride the bus now. Hannah's in the bridge. Hannah time. So she's like, I am so fucking pissed one cook at the bar. Talk about someone taking advantage. How big is this coke? Okay, you know, it's like 10 liters. Oh my god, little little little leader, little leader humor for everyone. She's not only not just gonna come back with the worst burps I ever heard in my life. And she'll be so amped. She won't be able to fall asleep

tonight. That's you know, it's just sleep. How could you do that to sleep is not nice. So Hannah starts freaking out. She's like, well, I'm with the guest porn drinks. What's wrong? Just doing much of all. And then it cuts to Captain. I want to fire her. I want to fire Hannah. So what to fire Hannah. I saw that. God, I'm sick of that girl. And she starts turning into captain Lee, like pacing around, like playing the fire, you know. So Hannah walks up. She walks up to the bridge like honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. She's like, oh, Get away from me. Go to your cabin, which is hilarious. She's like, I want see you right away. Okay. Now. I see you go away

Go away. I'm gonna see you when I'm calm and I like a Steve face. Steve face. Steve face. Steve face. I'm on the verge of fucking firing you Hannah. You've been gone. Go away. Leave me. Hannah. No, don't go Go and then back in Hannah's room room she's like what is going on? Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. Oh, no, oh, no. Leave me go. Oh, no. Yeah, she's having a nervous honey breakdown down there.

And that brings us to the end of BulloDick. I know we didn't even get to see what happened. No, we don't get to see what happens next week I should say. I'm like very intrigued. Yeah, what the hell people? Um, so we'll be back next week to finish this up in the meantime. Come over to Canada to see us in the just Ha Ha for last festival. Oh yeah. The Ha Ha place just for last comedy festival, Montreal that Friday, then in the end of August, we're going to go to West Palm Beach where they've got a lovely ocean. And we'll also be going to Atlanta for two shows after that.

And then Denver in September, you know, the time was right. So that's fun. And the meantime, you're also busy schedule. So make sure to get your naps in there, everybody. Get your naps and we'll talk tomorrow when I've come down. Just be me. Go away. Go away.

Sign in off. This is Captain Sandy. and we'll talk tomorrow when I've come down. Just be me, go away, go away. Sign in off. This is Captain Sandy Jan. Chihuahua will be driving the bus for the rest of the day. Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa Sandy, Santa Sandy, the audience. Goodbye, bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. And, you can find a $1.3 plus Apple Podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.