Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: The Day the Music Fried

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

90's hip hop is ruined forever in this week's Below Deck Med, and our sweet chef cries for all the tears we want to. For this week's premium bonus about Netflix' new show Indian Matchmaking, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but these are not really true. Kids, what happens, what happens, so much that happens? Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast for all that crap. We love to talk about on your braves, and sometimes Netflix too, okay?

I'm Ronnie, and that's been over there, hi, ban. Hey, how's it going? Good, welcome to Below dick mid I mean oh Such a sad blow deck mid The day the key go died Singing It's a lot of kickers on me Brazilian pie Baby broke the levy back. Cucata was dry

How was I to know what Vegas food was like? This will be the day that I fry Everybody welcome to watch a crabbanz'm we're just having a lovely day here Ben's having a lovely day with some sun and Los Angeles I'm about to have a thunderstorm out there's lightning how I Just saw swirl run past the windows terrified Sounds like you're not leaving port today, Ronnie. Oh, I'm sure God is chappy out there. Guys welcome to the show go get your face masks and we're still in that time or we need to protect ourselves We've got a bunch of them over at crap and some merch.com

Also go watch our videos. We're doing Beverly Hills and New York this week as crap and sentiment videos There's over a hundred there there so go check those out and We got some go ahead. I was gonna say we got some other fun stuff too. We got Discord channel over on patreon which if you are at the discord level or higher you can come and chat It's like a giant group texts with all the other crap and peeps and a giant group of texts with all the other crap and peeps. And the other thing that I was going to say, now I forgot. Oh, I forget. Well, tell everybody about Neil's new podcast.

Oh, yeah. So, uh, our friend of the podcast, Neil Young, not the singer, but the wonderful gentleman, Neil Young. It can't be something. He has a podcast. That's be something. I know. He has a podcast that's just like, I'm podcasting. I'm Neil Young. I'm Neil Young.

No, Neil Young, he is one of the co-hosts, past, present, which we've talked about before, which is an excellent, excellent podcast that looks at current events through the lens of history. It's Neil and two other historians. It's so good and it's really important to listen to these days with everything being so crazy. But Neil and his co-hosts are coming out

with a new podcast. I think this week or next week called Welcome to Your Fantasy which is about the history of Chippendales. So support him because he is not only a friend of all. I love that. What a great idea. So, uh, support him because he is a, he is not only a friend of us. I love that. What a great idea. Yeah, their history is crazy. It's crazy and they're going to take us through it because they are, um, really, really, like, top, top level historians.

And they're going to break it all down for us. And, uh, listen, not only is Neil, like a friend of ours, but he is also an avid listener of crap. And so let's just let's pay it forward and let's help with his their new podcast. Welcome to your fantasy. Everyone just go subscribe and let's get that into the top of iTunes. Love that. Love it. Congrats, Neil.

Buddy. Big deal. It's a big deal. This podcast that they have coming out. So let's make a big thing for them. Yeah. Okay. Let's get on with some below Dick Mediterranean. The captain is where we left off last week in the kitchen talking to Kiko

Basically firing him. Yeah, she's like, okay, Kiko come on. Let's just get through this Charter and he's like and then I leave and she just nods and she's like come on. Let's finish strong And then I leave and she just nods and she's like, come on, that's finished drunk. Do your food, Kiko. Do your food, which is currently getting you fired, which I'm pretending I'm celebrating right now by putting my hands in the pair position and then waving them at you. So I seem like I'm being a good person, even though I'm dishing you to your core right now. I'm going to see something that sounds really empowering, but it really just gets me out of a sticky situation.

Do your food. Just do it. Do it. You know what? You do fireable you. Okay. You do fireable you, Kiko. Fry what you want to fry.

If you want to make a brownie out of a monopoly piece, do your food. Fry and let fry on another boat. Okay, but today, just do something sloppy. Here's what I want to see come out of the kitchen. Something that doesn't look like it belongs on this yacht. Okay? Keep going. You know, there once was a wonderful James Bond movie,

and I'm just gonna, I'm gonna paraphrase here, but it was called Tomorrow Never Fries. Okay, and I'm just gonna I'm gonna paraphrase here, but it was called tomorrow never fries okay and I want you I want you to take that right now to heart. You know I'm gonna have a deal come in here and sing fry fall okay. This is basically what I want you to fry another day okay I think you'll fry another day you know what Kiko fry a pussy okay you are the man with the golden fryer all right The frying daylight. Golden fry. Golden fry. There it is. There it is. Yeah, let's just send this with give me a golden fry, Kiko. Okay. And he's like, so my last day is tomorrow. And she's like, God, you know, it feels like I just keep hammering this guy who continues to put his heart into it.

But gosh, he sure bit off more than he can chew. And as a captain, you can like somebody a lot. But if they're not trained properly, they basically turn into a Benson and Hedges champion little monster on the... oh, sorry Hannah, I didn't see you standing there. Okay, clear so I can finish this. Okay, of course you can do a Hannah. Alright. He bit off way more than he could chew,

and apparently whatever it was, he was biting off with deep fried, so it was a lot. It was a lot for his system. He's like, well, I'm not going to make you guys lose money because I'm a failure. And she's like, you're not a failure. You're not a failure. You're basically, you're like Captain Hook,

given high five, Kiko, a bloody failure. No, no, Kiko, you're basically you're like captain hook given high five Kiko, a bloody failure no no Kiko you're not you're like the one armed man given a proper hug okay now can you grow an arm who am I to say no you can't grow an arm maybe you'll be able to hug properly if science intervenes okay that's what I'm saying don't cry but you But you're not a failure. You're just not a success. That's all. So then Jess is like, what happened? He goes like, oh, no, I'm fucked in front of everyone. I'm fucked in front of everyone.

Don't be sad. There's like, there can be good tips in that job. I did that between being going and tattooing. You're actually like getting fired is a problem. Do you know I've had 35 jobs these last month? It's like normal. I got fired from bingo, okay. I got fired from bingo,

because I couldn't understand how it worked, okay. So Eunice, like, what's going on, bro? He has two lines in this episode, because they've had to kept their promise. He's like, what's going on? He has two lines in this episode because they've got to kept their promise. He's like what's going on? And he's like I'm fired man. No. And then Hannah comes in and he's like I cooked tomorrow and then I have to go. Okay.

And she's like silent on the eyes, silent on the eyes, and he goes like, you know, that's what we just discussed before, right? Vegas, he's style, you know, and I've never been to Vegas. I don't know how it is. And you know, they complain, they say it looked like kids food,

and the captain said it was horrible. And Hannah's just like, staring there like processing like. Yeah, she's so stressed, and you know she's stressed, because she normally she plays with her necklace But now she's like twirling her radio wire and like eating it She's starting to tremble and she's just staring and then he goes like yeah, don't worry

Don't worry and she just walks away and then goes off to a deck and just sniffling She's like oh my fucking hate this fucking jaw brawl now Yeah, and she stands at the front of the boat I can just sniff laying. She's like, oh, I fucking hate this fucking jaw brawn now. Yeah, and she stands at the front of the boat, but she doesn't, so I'm not the king of the world, how I am. It's like the opposite of the king of the world. She's basically, she's doing the pose that we didn't see off camera,

which is that while they're doing, while they're doing, I'm the king of the world, there's the lady standing nearby saying, get down from the scene, that's what Hannah's pose is. Yeah. And so you feel bad because I've liked Kiko De Anhoi. I was the one who suggested this Vegas menu. I feel honestly psyching to make cool. Well, I feel bad for the diners. I think there were even more shaking. So Kiko, yes, now Kiko tells Rob that he's all fired.

And he's like, you know, I took a risk and I fucked up. You know, Captain has her opinion. She don't want me here. And now I'm feeling like the most sad people ever, which is so sad. I don't really feel like you took a risk. I'm like, Kiko, I'm not sure you took a risk. But you serve chicken fingers, okay?

Yeah. Like, if it's good enough for a kid, it's not a risk. Yeah, and then Malia and Bugs, you're talking about it. And Bugs, he's like, I'll be you're so bad for Kiko. Why is the live-and-fall die had you come back from that... Patents. Yeah.

You know what he needs? Some breath. I'm gonna get in some bearers! With zombies. That's say words. Like fish sticks. Love fries. It's like when you want to bring the thunder. And all you do is have a little box of bubbles.

It's not thunder. It's not thunder. This is yawning the show, Moscow on. And the guys are getting, everybody's getting ready for this big Vegas party. And one of the guests is like, this is Vegas. What happens in Vegas stays here. Like, I'm advertising. Oh, you're advertising.

What happens in Vegas remains in a geographical location akin to Vegas. And then we begin one of my favorite sequences of all time, even though it's really sad. They're like, oh my god, it's Vegas! Yeah, they keep cutting to keep going, solving it bad, and then they cut back. It's like, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm,, and Sam, Sandi sees Hannah in the gallery and she's like, why are you shaking? Is this, is this your way of asking for a hug? Come on, bring in no, no hug, no hug. Okay. Okay. It's like Captain is expecting a fight from Hannah and she's not getting one.

So she just keeps following her around. It's weird. She's like just staring her down and Hannah's obviously ignoring her. Why are you shaking there? She's like, I'm upset. Why? Oh, because of Kiko and Hannah's like, and she's just kind of taking out plates currently. And then the captain just stands there, stairs door, crosses her arms, leans on the wall, just watches her. Like, I'm just, I'm here if you want to start a fight or you know that new chefs come on any day now so I'm going to need to get you fired here pretty quick. Yeah. So, um, and then upstairs Alex is leaving another poker night and it's like polka polka who wants to play some polka and then again it cuts back to Kiko but hello. And in his bed it's just like oh god this I mean, he is, he is so sweet and he

is taking it so hard. And then Jess starts to cry also for Kiko. He says, so cry, just cry, just cry. And then Hannah goes into Kiko's room and she's like, listen, he are really fucking long. He, I feel like he's so much pain pain and that means all I'm in pain because you owe mine. Oh no, you're my mine, honey. So I don't have to do for breakfast because I don't have the energy or the mind to do it. It's like, all help you. to do it and it's like, all help you, all be up early to help you, Kiko. And he's like, this is a real love, hi, now. You're a good person. Friends forever. My hug and cry. Nothing immense, a lifetime friendship, then helping put some croissants on a plate in the

morning and taking them out to the guests. That really seals it. Yeah, my world. So the guest go to bed, Rob's making out with Jess all over the boat, you know. And then Rob goes into bed and Kiko's just sobbing still under the covers. And Rob's like, I feel saddened. He's a beautiful person. And I see his world ending in front of his face. That's sad. What do you call a chef that cries late at night? A human This is un-apetizing. H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. So it's 3.55 AM, and it's black and white because of the night keems.

And we're here breathing, heart breathing. And Malia wakes up and gets out of bed and opens the bathroom door and Hannah's in there. Oh no, No! No! He's having a honey attack. Oh no! And it takes her the honey's and she's like, it's a honey, I'll take. I need a volume. I need a volume. Well he was like, isn't that a prescription?

What I meant was I need a valiant effort to keep me feeling better. That's all, not valium, you crazy, crazy bo better. That's all not valium you crazy crazy bothson. That's you said that not me. Yeah and we hear a bottle open and because this is all off camera and we hear like and she's like I need this failure right now. And we'll hear it. Yeah she says is that a prescription and then she's like you're going to be okay and then we just hear the lid to the pills fall on the ground. It's very dramatic.

I didn't hear the lid, I didn't realize that, but I'm glad you caught that. Yeah, we hear like a, ttuk ttuk ttuk ttuk ttuk ttuk We hear like a, I need to value him. You're gonna be okay. Wow, ttuk ttuk ttuk ttuk ttuk ttuk So then they come out of that.

It's like a video installation at a modern art museum. It's like, oh, we're gonna sit in this dark room and hear all the noises around you Well, all this is very important because apparently it's gonna be very important and so it's off-camera So you really have to listen like a radio show to the sound effects like, whoa, I hear the pill now Did that's what kind of pill bottle did that sound like? like, well, that hair women I bought on that way to second. So Malia was like, okay, well, um, just get some sleep, just get some sleep. Okay, I'm going to be up, I want to be up here. Okay, bye, bye,

bye. And it was actually nice. Malia was really sweet to Hannah. She was like, Malia's been great this season. I think she's been, like, just a superstar. So Malia goes back to sleep and then we see Hannah going like in and out of the bathroom. She keeps going into that bathroom. She's like, oh, case of the honeys. Don't know which room I want to be in. Do I want to be in the bathroom? No. We'll want to be in the bedroom. No, bathroom. No, bedroom. No. Hutt. I got the honeys. So then we get that sound effect, which means that was a very important scene. So then we get that sound effect, which means that was a very important scene. So then Kiko gets out of bed the next morning and goes down and he's like super sad to cook breakfast and Hannah's still in bed.

They keep cutting back to Hannah in bed, not helping him. Yeah, not a bearer. And Kiko, the captain comes in, she's like, oh, hey, Kiko, did you just sleep? You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna stand here and watch you feel while I drink coffee. Do you mind, you know, TV's not working, all right? He's like, yeah, I was able to sleep a little bit.

They want fish, right? So we're not gonna fry that fish, right? No one likes fried smoked salmon, right? And he's like, yes, I'm making fish. And she just stands there staring at him while she has her coffee. And it's really awkward. And he's like, yes, I'm making fish. And she just stands there staring it in while she has her coffee. And it's really awkward. And she goes, thank you, Kiko. Thank you. He's like, you're welcome. And then she tells us that she goes, this is hilarious. She goes, you know, it's hard to fire people. You know, I once hired my nephew and my

first officer told me, he's terrible. So I went to my nephew. my first officer told me he's terrible. So I went to my nephew. I said, listen, you're a terrible, terrible contribution to this boat. And I know we've been trying to find something for you because your parents were like, he has no future. And I thought I can help you. But I couldn't. You're not going anywhere in life and you're definitely not going anywhere by

yet. So that's just the way it goes, you know? Not about life. I'd like you to feel like a failure. You're just basically little orphaned and any without a wig. OK, you're little orphaned and with parents. OK, that means that you're not an orphan

and you don't get to be in the musical, OK? And you're not a failure. You just weren't cast as little orphaned and any. I'm going to go. Have you ever thought about Blockbuster video? They have a great employment situation and that's an industry that's going to be around for a long time. So, hey, why don't you go over there? I'm sure things will work out over there, okay? Now, there's an industry with growth,

Blockbuster. They don't call it Blockbuster for no reasons. Not called bomb. It's a Blockbuster. It's not called failure bester. Okay. Blockbuster. Now you put on that blue shirt and you give someone a recommendation on what's your favorite Jackie Chan movie. Okay. This is your thing. You're good at. So she's not getting any action down to the kitchen. So she goes to put her nose in the upper deck where there were justes just at the table. She's like, Chaz, you did a great job on that table. And you know I'm not just saying that,

because I'm honest. Ask Faley McFry down there. Okay. I love how you accentuated the table scape with little bingo balls. That's fun. Oh, is that what those are? I always thought those were strange number earrings.

So Kiko is like, I cannot cook. I cannot cook fish. I don't have the mind to cook, I cannot go. I cannot toast the bag on this morning. This is so 2020, by the way. Just this whole like, I cannot work because my work is love. And right now I'm feeling no love, I would be going to bed. You know what? It's called the economy. Okay, it's not never shit. If you don't feel bad, get your ass up and go to work. I know. So, and by the way, like he didn't have to keep or kind of brought this on himself aside from the fact that he fried everything last night. Like Sandy was not trying to fire him in the middle of the charter, but he kept on saying, like, if you want to fire me, you can't. She's

like, let's just get through this. But if you want to fire me, you can't. She's like, let's just get through this. But if you want to fire me, it's okay. She's like, well, let's get to, so it's my last day, right? It's my last say it, say it, say it. And she's fine. Like, yes. Fine. Yeah, but she also should not have fired somebody before they were fired. You know, you know, I mean, you, you got to learn that.

Well, you've fired somebody when you're ready to kick their ass down, down the ramp. Yeah, that's right. So, um, so he's just, uh, so he's back in bed and, uh, Alex, we have a moment with Alex and Pete and Alex is like, Hey, do you speak to Kiko this morning and Pete's like, yeah, he seems down. Mike, he seems down. He's bawling in his cabin right now. He said, cheers coming down to jokes for the past 18 hours. I love like Pete's powers of observation.

So bugs us like, he's kick out, can we do the actual break fist? And Jess says he's gone. There's bacon in the microwave and Kiko's just in bed. And so Captain's like, uh, so where's Kiko? Where's Kiko? Well apparently he's done, I don't even know. the now to go where is he so she goes to his cabinet

key goal connect actually a minute uh... you can do breakfast or he's like i can't do it but it's a fucked up i can't do it what if i tell you that after breakfast you can deep-fried anything you want this walkie talkie if you want to keep right you can do it come, you can deep fry anything you want. This walkie talkie, if you want a deep fry, you can do it. Come on, you can do this. All right, listen, make a sloppy breakfast, okay? That's fine. Just make something that doesn't look like it belongs to any other sloped something on the plate, okay? Preferably just make it super

mushy and sloppy, okay? You want to do that? You're like, okay, okay. And then they just cut to jazz. She's in the laundry room and she picks up some some garment and she goes, holy hell. And then just cuts away from her. So then Hannah and Kiko are in the kitchen and Hannah's like, honey, how are you doing? You're like, it's a nightmare. My poor, this emotional. She shouldn't have fucked with my head.

Like the whole day Service with you. Remember last night I told you I was gonna help you and that meant I was gonna do exactly what I do every day Which is just calling to comment down here and take up place, okay? He's like I feel sad I feel sad. Oh see I just cut myself see oh It's a sad god look it's, it's a sad God look. It's a sad face. I cut myself a sad face on my finger. Yeah. It's like, I have let the end of the notebook.

Everybody left the theater with bandages. It's like out. Yeah. So sad people do, we believe. So Malia's telling Sandy that Hannah had her panic attack last night and Sandy goes, yeah, it's sad It's a sad time right now, right? Am I right? Hey No one's actually made me any cereal yet this morning, so I don't know what's going on with Kiko I know we said but how about we get those turned those sad into some jury o's you know what I'm saying, huh?

turn those sad into some jury o's you know what I'm saying huh huh anyone and when you're like well it's captain it comes back to you and people have to know that and she's like yeah I know they're my little brown noser it's what's expected and that's why I'm in this seat because I am the captain yeah so then anchor down everybody likes their breakfast and Hannah's gonna send Jess and Rob out for their date and excursion. And excursion and yeah, Hannah's sending to everyone and Crystal who's the primaries wife. She's like, I feel like if I had Hannah's job at night, I would punch a pillow because she always has to put a smile on. I'm like As far as I can tell Hannah only has a smile about 30% of the time She's like actively scaling at all guests at all times

So Rob's like uh, uh, it's all first day And Bungsy says I remember when me and Alex had office died It was from back. So the guests get on the tender and Captain Carl's hand up to the office and she's like, Hannah, what's wrong now? Besides Kiko, besides Kiko. She's like, well, when somebody's really emotional, it's infectious. What can I say?

I'm like, well, look, I want to finish on a strong note, okay? So I said, Kiko, I just want you to put some poop in a bowl, stir it up with some Cheerios and add some splint on top if you want to. Just do you. Okay. Do your food. Oh, Hannah, did you hear me when I said that?

Because it was such a good moment. I said, do your food. I don't know if it really got with him, but do your food. Man, it's so good. I actually actually wrote a letter to Mountain Dew. I was like, you know what? Don't do the do do your food Mountain Dew Hannah anything wrong and Hannah's just like

Rubbing her hands, you know like trying to get out of there and not say anything bitchy She's just like hmm. Hi, honey. Hi, Hannah captain. Hi Captain, hi, and she's like, can you can always talk to me? You know that right? Hannah, I just have one thing to say to you, do your food. I don't know what you cook. Actually, it's a little scary to me, but whatever it is, do it, Hannah, do your food. So then the excursion, Robin just take the guests out and one of the guys is like, whoa, they really like each other. This is definitely not like Bugsie and Alex.

And one of the girls goes, yeah, this is Jessica and Rob job. Yeah. And then Jessica's, huh, it's the first job I actually like. I know you know Jessica's not staying in this relationship, it's called job. She's not in there. Yeah, wait a minute. Marshall, it's time for a crack. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

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We love you guys! So now Hannah's crying on the boat, cause everyone's got a cry this episode. And then we see Sandy on the phone, one of my favorite things on Blow Deck. Hey Norma, hey, I really need a good chef. Just send me what you can Send me know I understand that this is a TCBY, but just you know what we need anyone if it's someone who can scoop yogurt so be it Hey, Norma it's me captain Sandy if you can't find anyone if you can't find someone do what you can I just wanted to say do your food one if you can't find someone to do what you can. I just wanted to say, do your food.

What did you say? This is a FedEx kinkos. Okay. No, or not. So now they're now they're walking around on land and just as they gave Jess like some sort of dossier to read aloud. She's like the tour guide and she's like, um, so that's the monastery. It was once home to kings and monks and Frederick Chopin. They're like

Chopin. Yeah, Chopin, Chopin, like Chopin. Uh, I'm not sure. I don't have a pan to show you. No. It's like this town is really beautiful, but I just kept staring at rob Like you guys are Boring me I have to say I'm my fingers on that fast forward But I don't fast forward it because we have to do this, but it's on I'd still put it on the fast forward button I don't want to look like I can make out all over the place. Okay. You're boring and gross. Stop it So then we go back to the boat and Alex is coming to the gallery and he's sort of checking in on Kiko and Bugsy and he starts massaging Bugsy's back.

And she's like, yes, such a sweet kid. And he's like, you know, that's a that's a terrible thing to say. That's a terrible thing to say. Next thing you tell me is that Tom Briviti left the Patriots for Tampa Bay. Never say that, but to me, okay, never say that. He's a little young for me. I mean, 23 and 29, but I deproved myself on being quite like, you got.

I brought the Cougar Fender. So Rob is hanging out with jazz back with Rob and jazz. And he's like, oh, he's had the standard with my mother. It's the last time I felt seen. And now I feel seen and heard, which is nice and touched and crisp and spoken to, and held and thought of and number given to from Bingoed. So then everybody's having a really good time and the guests are like, you guys just so I can't take out there. And then Rob and just have a moment alone and he's like,

oh god, I love you. What is that crazy? Yeah, kind of. I'm scared. crazy. Yeah, kind of. She's like, um, previously the scariest thing on this yacht was that juicer that keeps squirting me the eyes, but now this is even scarier. I really don't know what to do with myself. So then Malia is sitting on the send back and she caused her boyfriend, Tom, and she's she talks to her boyfriend and baby, please. Which is really a lot just I hate when people do that.

It's like, hey, everybody get on deck. Hi, Tom, it's me. I just can't wait to see you. So, so, so she's like, yeah, I'm on this one platform. It's been a heck of a day. I'm kind of down a person. He's like, oh, really? And she starts saying, yeah, I'm on this one platform. It's been a heck of a day. I'm kind of down a person. He's like, oh, really? And she starts saying, yeah, I told Tom about what happened

and he just felt so bad. And like, he said, gosh, I would never want to do that again. Yeah. I'm like, okay. We're kind of 60 meter again, not me. Not ever. So then Hannah is with Kiko again. And she asks him if the captain told him when he's gonna leave and he's like tomorrow And I can't leave now and be disrespectful to the guests. I'm not a quitter

Yeah So meanwhile As the guests are heading back one thing that they want they're doing this 90s hip-hop party tonight and so Alex and Malia are gonna to be doing like a rap. And so we see a flashback of Hannah going up to everyone saying, does anyone have any rapping skills from the 90s? Which I'm already just like shuttering. And I'm just so glad Bugsie did not volunteer because I can only imagine Yeah, I don't think I needed the white girls doing rap, but you know what you guys do you? You know, this is the episode about bracing your failure, so let's just do this.

Yeah, yeah, I say, you know, you've already hit the after the biggest night you can only go up even if it's with even with Malia, Alex and Bugsie crafting a rap song. That's still going to be an improvement. So. Yeah. So you're just basically going to serve them audio fried fish chicken. Audio fried fish. It's like, what's up? We got Southside on deck. We got Captain Sandy at the wheel. We ain't going to wreck.

I'm Alia. I run these boys. Deck teams are squad when you want them toys. Alex with the poker face. If he comes near me, I'm going to spray him with my eyes. Um, so then let's see a guy goes out on a wave runner and he's like the waters are really rough and he's jumping on the wave runner. I it's like captain Sandy. There's a guest on the jet ski. The conditions are rough. I'm watching him, but it could be a disaster because she can't save everyone. And Rob is making out with Jess. And, you know, well, this is the big controversy because while Malia needs all hands on deck, Rob is inside. And he's, because now he's

like becoming a basket case because she didn't say I love you back and he's like, there's too much going on and you're not communicating and that's got me into my head a little bit. I said it, you know, I said it, I said let's drive to the border and drop off these bags of who knows what's inside them. I said it and you you can say anything back. Well, and just worry that I'm going to be completely in love, and then like, I'm going to get hurt. Like, literally, I'm going to be someone love, I'm going to close a door on my hand again,

and I will get in physical pain. I just don't want that. So, the guy's jumping on the jet ski, and then we cut back, and he's like, but I don't want to get hurt either. Where's your location? Where's your location, Rob? Pain. Pain is my location. Just as like, um, you're not on break.

He's like, no, but don't worry about it. We need everybody standing watch. I can't save them both myself. Oh, don't worry about her. Don't worry about her. Someone is drowning. Someone's, we have attention all daycans. We have someone drowning in the Mediterranean. That can't wait because I'm drowning in emotion. So he's like making, you know, taking his suite

as time, getting up there. And Jess is like, I wanted to say I love him back, but I felt it, but like part of me has fear He doesn't mean it and like it's hard for me to trust. I get it from my parents. I Guess I should talk to my therapist about that one. Like you have a therapist. What are they doing? You've had 30 jobs within a year. What is my therapist doing? you've had 30 jobs within a year. What is my therapist doing? Technically, he's just a crossing guard

that is by my intersection, but still, like he really listens well. Yeah, so she's having, she just, you know, it's hard for her to trust Rob. Maybe it's because he's in an open relationship at the moment, and he just said, like, I love you to his ex-slash current girlfriend. Well I said he broke up with that girl. Oh, members. It's called

the origin. Oh, indeed. So Malia is like, I needed you on deck, Rob, or were you? And when you do that, you need to tell me because then it's like Rob is disappeared. He's like, hmm, my was lost. Hello. So, um, so then Kiko meanwhile is Kiko is just talking, he's just talking about how he late there's no second chances and that's why he doesn't quit because there's not many chances in life. I'm like, that's fine, but you were also the one that was like, you can fire me if you want, you can fire me if you want. You can fire me if you want. You can fire me. You want to fire me. You can fire me. Yeah. Um, I think he's crying again. He's like, yeah. Poor guy. I mean, he is so

earnest and so sweet and so lovable. I hope I, I hope everything works out for Kiko. I want to be just going to be just fine. Don't you worry. Okay. Everybody's preparing for this 90s party. Hannah's trying got this new boom box. She got for the party and it just starts blasting out Spanish music. Well, it's like a lady sort of like in English, it would probably something like to set up your Bluetooth or Bluetooth connected. I don know, cause I don't speak Spanish. It's like, Pazatino, El Perrito, she's like, Hooray!

It's probably a Spanish version of that Anna went to her lecture, she was listening to you. She was like, it's like to be a leader. So Malia and Kiko are talking and Malia's like, you know, Kiko, I know this is really hard for you, but I just want you to know that my boyfriend who's totally coming here on a coincidence the day that you're leaving

said that he has a soft spot for you because like he freaked out on his first 60 yacht too and now look at him, he's so successful that he's coming to replace you on the 60-foot yacht that could have terrified him before. Do you understand? It's like a circle of life we're winning you're losing, but don't worry, it's a circle, Just don't fall off the Stray fell off the circle. Okay, bye. I tried. I tried. Also, by the way, Domino's are not a thing for Vegas. Okay, bye. So, um, so then the guest wants to have a ring in his wife's dessert. So, uh, because they've sent Pete off to get pizza from the mainland. And so now Hannah's, well, he's gonna be going out to get pizza because Sandy doesn't want a bother,

Kiko is making crew dinner. So, Hannah's like, all right, Pete. So, here's the thing, we need you to go find a participy also. And he's like, what's a participy? Is that for flowers? She's like, it's a bugger where you get cake. He's like, I'll find you a cake. Yeah.

How does he make that sound disgusting? He makes even that sound like harassment, you know? My eyes cannot rotate around enough to show how disgusted I am by you, Pete. And Hannah sees bugs in her fanny pack and her ripped tights and she's just squint. She just gives her like, ee also. Like a funny eye. From her eyes. She's like, yeah, I the fuck out of my face, darling. And then we see unit go for his pizza. And the guy is so excited to see him.

He's like, I'm here for pizza. And the guy's like, Pizza, yes, you're for pizza. Yes, you've got a pizza. Like the guy's so thrilled to see him. I'm sure you got to see her. I'm sure that if you had not been in dumbass posting of noxious racist shit on his Instagram, this was probably an entire storyline of Pete going to the mainland, trying to find a cake, and like, royally messing it up.

It probably would have been like a half episode of him be like, they don't have cake here. Go to the Pateesery, to the Foot Locker, foot locker the potency sorry to the docs but is a way that's a horror house piece that's that kind of the potency sorry haha haha haha

haha haha haha haha haha haha haha haha

haha haha haha haha haha haha haha I'm waiting. I'm listening. Do you hear it? I do. Oh my God. I had to be really quiet. I'm putting both my headphones in and it's like the most will wait. I want to listen. That is like so relaxing. This is not I mean it's relaxing. I guess from where you're sitting. Do you hear it now? Listen. I'm sure you're stressed. You're sitting in Kiko's tears. He does what it feels like. Man, Texas does not fuck around.

We do everything big here. This rain is crazy. Okay, sorry. Everybody's like rain. Rain. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Ronnie.

We made it rain. Rain. Oh, no. I can't stand. No, I wish it would rain now. Damn, it's just Hannah singing rain songs. Rain, feel it on my finger, chips, feel it on the windowsill. Yeah, it feels like I'm in a car wash. Anyway, okay, let's go back to it. Sorry, everybody.

I know it rains everywhere, but in LA, it really doesn't. No, that's why I was like, I need to listen. Like, it doesn't rain like this. This sounds so dorky, but when I play Animal Crossing and when it rains, it sounds dorky. But like, if you take out your little umbrella and Animal Crossing, they make the audio of the rain sound like rain on an umbrella and sometimes they just like stop and listen because it's

so relaxing and lovely. Oh okay so you may get the pizza. So then the captain's like oh you're gonna cook keiko style tonight keiko oh I can't wait you know what I hope everybody has tablecloths to wear his napkins for your sloppy ass food can't wait to watch you feel successfully come on JDYF if you know what I'm saying no that sounds for just do your food just do your food with JYDF too. So they, so the guests are showing up to dinner and Bugsie is like, welcome to your 90's hip hop. I'm like, yep, that sounds just like 90's hip hop to me.

Bugsie is saying it just like that. So let's see, green mush is served, Then fish, girl, sea bass and all that. And they keep cutting to keep go making this spinach mash. Yes. Over and over. And it's like a green gooey thing because we don't know what it is yet. And so they keep stopping the music and cutting to him making this. It's so funny. They're like, oh, the green thing. It's gonna be off sale. Yeah. This is what I wanted. I wanted you to do your food.

You know the kind of food that when you put it on a plate, it's shapeless and spreads out everywhere and catches everything. I love that. You know what? You might not be right for a yacht, but anybody who needs a Gremlin in a blender, I mean, I would recommend you in a heartbeat, Keith.

I like that your food reminds me of Ghostbusters 2. And how it's like your food, I bet if we put it in the statute of liberty, it would walk all around, huh? So the people love, the guests love the food, and they ask for Kiko to come up, and they just applaud him and scream his name and cheer for him and the captain's just leaning on the door listening like,

wow, what a way to go down. Little did these people know he's already fired and has been crying all day. Just do your food. Can we also talk about that Hannah put like a ribbon in her hair in her ponytail? And, and Sandy was like, that's pretty. That's real pretty. And she's like, it's talking. That's bad as a minty-visit.

I get like, why are you dressing up like you're in Greece for 90s hip-hop? Well, look at her, her vision of Vegas. 90s hip-hop. I don't know if it translated the same. or vision of Vegas. 90s hip hop. I don't know if it translated the same. So, um, have they already done their hip hop thing? Or do they do that? No, right now Kiko is just receiving it. Like they're giving him the ovation. Oh, I forgot this.

It's a very important part. Kiko's crying. But it's so sweet because he's telling us he's like, it's nice. It's cool. It's sad. It was like, I was getting emotional for him. Just like it was such a nice moment to be fired on, you know? Yeah. Yeah, he's a sweet guy. You know, I just when he's cranked this much, I'm like, you know, I don't want to go camping with you You know, which shouldn't have anything to do with anything

It's just one of those things like you're really nice I would like to be friends with you but not that close because I feel like you'd cry You wouldn't put up the tent like you just cry all the time and complain, you know like I Feel bad for him, but I also don't want to camp with him there. That's my opinion on it I don't know how to explain it any further. I think I want to camp with many people on this show. I don't think I want to camp all I can think right now. I'm like would you be able to put up a tent? I actually think like he goes the person I most want to camp with because I feel like he would I feel like his food is really good for camping like a big mushy thing that's pretty much all you can make with camping it's like hot dogs and mushy things. And then he would I feel like he would put

up the tent. I feel like the unit would not put up a good tent. I feel like he would just make jokes about pitching a tent. I don't know. And you know what the thing is I hate camping. So who cares? Yeah. I don't know why you took us to this place. I don't either. I just I'm trying to explain what's bothering me about it. Because it first I was like poor Kiko and then I was like, oh, poor Kiko. And then I was like, oh, poor guy. And I'm like, oh, shut up. Just shut up.

I think what bothered me about it was the whole, I can't even serve breakfast because then it's like, okay, dude. Like I understand what you were sad that you were disappointed in yourself, of course. And you're crying, you're getting the ovation, that makes sense because this is really emotional for you and to get, after everything to get

like this huge amount of appreciation from people, I totally support that. But they're crying and not being able to sort of breakfast when it's like scramble some eggs. It's not like that to work. So give him credit for that. He's lovely. So yeah. So Bugsie, typical Bugsie fashion.

Kiko, I heard him cheering for you. That's really incredible. And then she like, tilts your head and smiles while she polishes the glass, like kind of in that fakie, you know. Yeah. Lady Ducks' way. They were saying something about, let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me.

Was that about you, Kiko? Have you been having sex with them? So Hannah comes in and hugs him and they cry and kiss and stuff. And then desserts delivered and they love, has dessert as well. And Hannah delivers the cake for the wedding for the ring for the lady. And it's really sad. And she starts crying. And then Malia is getting ready to go out there because I have to go to either rap thing. And she's like, this is giving me a wedgie in all the wrong places.

Zero dignity. Zero dignity. Or is I like to say no dignity? Yeah, which actually would have been apt. That would have been apt. So they come out to rap and I just wrote, I can't. And then I didn't write anymore. Yeah. I think I had a baby stroke. So how fun? Yeah. So I'm not even, we already recited the rough drafts of the lyrics. I'm not even going to recite

their final draft. It was just, it was like if you went to camp, if you went to camp getaway, not just any camp, you went to camp getaway, not just any camp, you went to camp getaway and they all wrapped for you. That's pretty much what it was. So now it's the final day of the charter. So Sandy is telling, she walks up to Jess and is like, great job, great job.

I mean, I got a sliding scale right now. I mean, Kiko, kind of, you know, adjusted, we've got a curve. We're greeting on a curve this chart. So great job. You might want to get your hand out of the juicer. It's going to get all torn up again. So great job, great job.

And great job. So then Kiko is, you know, cooking his last meal, the breakfast, and unit comes in. He's like, yeah, or Alex, somebody comes in. They're like, God, I'm tired., he's like, oh, Alex, somebody comes in, they're like, God, I'm tired. And he's like, yeah, I'm going to sleep. I'm going to finish breakfast and then I sleep, and then I have six beers.

And then anchor up. And it's pajamas party. Oh, because the guests are still wearing their pajamas. And basically, now it's time to take orders for breakfast. And Jess is like, OK, so you guys wanted an online, and basically now it's time to take orders for breakfast and Jess is like, okay, so you guys wanted to own that because he does a really good omens. Okay, so one was spinach, okay, one was, okay, I'll take those.

So she goes downstairs while Bugs is asking Kiko what the orders are that are gonna be coming up. And he's like, I don't know, ask Jess. And Jess is like, um... Jess, I asked Jess and Jess was like Jess honey are you writing down breakfast orders for the chef yet? Can we please start doing that? She's like oh sure Hannah And then we cut to bugs with her disapproving face. Oh, I don't approve how you handled that. If I was chiefsoo! Face. So guess what?

Malia's up with Sandy and she's like, oh my god, Thomas is in Madrid. And she's, what? I didn't realize that Thomas coming to visit. Norma didn't even say anything that fucking Norma. It's like, well, I always say, do your food. I know what she does. She does a crossword instead. Fucking Norma.

What a coincidence, Malia. Your boyfriend, who is a chef on yachts coming the exact day I fired a chef from a yacht. That is crazy. Almost as crazy as having bugsie here who's a chief stew on a year. I don't like Hannah just kind of waiting for a chief stew position. Well this is just not how this is all working out just through your food. That's how I live.

Can you have his resume? Okay, let's see what it says here. Okay, from 2015 to 2018 doing food. Okay, and from 2019 to 2020 doing his food. Okay, hired hired hired. So then Malia is in the wheelhouse. Oh, yeah, sorry, we just did that. Okay, so then it's intense stocking at the port. So one of the guest tells Malia, wow, this is really intense. Yeah. I might, Molly is like, um, yeah, it's like the most intense. And then they're like, what she's like, well, you look really pretty when you, when you do it. And she's like, thanks. She's like, I'd rather be cold said. I'm a pretty powerful person. Thank you very much. Time to dock shackle shackle shackle shackles shackles. Shackles, oh, I understand what this boat must feel like.

I've been in shackles too, am I right boys? So Kiko's gonna get the hell out of there for the tip meeting. He's like, wait, which by the way, listen Kiko, grab your money, listen Kiko, grab your money. Like don't, like I know you just want to get off this boat because now it represents like failure to you, but that's your money. Take it, take it and then leave.

Yeah, get that money. Yeah, now it's not trying to make you stand, okay? This is what you want to hand it at, send you cash in the mail. Like get, just lock that money down and get out of there. Okay, this is what you want to hand it at send you cash in the man like get Lock that money down and get out of there. This is not timing timing is a problem for him So Kiko says by the guy the guests and he's like I loved I cooked with love for you guys And you know, they're all lined up and stuff and so crystal gifts are little speech and she's like thank you guys so much I'm so happy. I'm so happy I'm crying.

And she gives them what looks like a fat envelope and one of her friends goes, did she cry? She cried, didn't she? Oh God. So Hannah's like, you know, this is like one of her chipper moments. I love when Hannah delivers a chipper line. It's like, it's ironic.

They just had the most amazing talent and they have no one new friends. They realize that one of their normal friends got fired in the middle of the dinner service. And guess what Robin just doing. So Kiko says bye to people and get that also basically. And then Hannah goes down and talks to him on the doc and they do he's like we've known each other for a short time but we're friends forever I love you it's my bullshit and I cry and hug and stuff. This is like a very leery soby eski moment like this is I feel like how most leery soby eski movies end is like two people crying on a doc before one goes off into wherever.

So they are just like crying and he's like, this is one of the best experiences in my life. I had good moments, I had bad moments, good jokes, I made friends, I turned things into dominoes, I turned dominoes into things, I fried a lot of more food than I ever thought I would fry. I mean, I fried, I mashed, I fried. It was great. Yeah, he's like, be yourself. Spread spread love to the world to have a better world Ah

And then we get stress violence Yeah, don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't Time seconds to share. Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant And that is below dick midi-terrani. We are off tomorrow because we're waiting for a selling sunset to come back next week, but we will be releasing our bonus episode covering, Hodma Locksmeez, TIST OF AMERICA. So you can catch that over on our Patreon and we'll be back Thursday and Friday with two video days with real housewives of Beverly Hills and real housewives of New York City. Everyone have a wonderful night. We'll talk to you next time. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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