Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Time to Split

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

Below Deck Med ends its season with an hour long, constant whine from Chef Mat and an off camera trip to Split. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and get tickets for our Winter Tour at https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tourSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well hello and welcome to Watch What Corruptions! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about. On ye old brows everybody!

Hi, I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there, hi Ben. Hi Ronnie, what's up? How's Tricks? Oh, things are good, Tricks are good, what's going on with you? You know, it's a very sad day because below deck Mediterranean ended and I just don't know how to deal with it, Ben. I just don't know. Oh, well, you know what, you know what, I would do with my grief.

I would channel that grief into buying a ticket to a watch a crap in the live show because our tickets are going on sale this Friday for our big 2022 tour. It's our 10 year anniversary hunky Dory tour. Every we're doing a million cities. And unlike in the past, we're like, Oh, and here's the city. And here's the city. We're giving you all the cities right up front, 21 cities. And they all go on sale the exact same day, which is this Friday at 10 a.m. local to whatever the venue is in. So, you know, whatever time zone it's in, it's local. It's gonna be 10 a.m. locally. Go get your tickets.

We're going to a million places. It's gonna be so much fun. We don't want you to miss out. So go check that out. And go to watchprapins.com to find the links to the tickets, of course. Yes, all the links are there. We are gonna be making up shows that we missed due to COVID.

So you will still be able to come to the show if you have tickets for those. So go check out, you know, what to do. And today, guess what? It's below dig minitory and time. Now we did not watch the reunion at the time of this airing. I did see a clip of Matt, of course, who's comes, you know, I mean, it's a zoom reunion, but still he's wearing a shirt that says like, I don't know, it's like some teenager shirt, you know, like some skater shirt. He's all cash. And they, Andy asked, running, God bless it. Andy asked Sandy, which could be a tongue twister if you're me, okay? Andy asked Sandy about Matt and she

says, you know, I just want, I just would like somebody who's dependable. He's like, whatever, you know, you're the worst captain I've ever worked with in my life. What? So yeah, he's a total little fucker. And no other captain would have given you chances like this, sir.

Like, no. No. Wait, I can't, why would he say that? Like, but she like was so supportive of him. Because he's a petal rich child, you know? Wow. Well, I wanted to watch it, but unfortunately, I gave away my third stew and just the two of us here in the household. And I just didn't have the time. I mean, it's my fuck up and I have to live with it and I will. I have to deal with the consequences of my own choice. I mean he did,

here I was, I had four and I went down to two. It's my fuck up Ronnie for not watching the reunion. The way I'm going to take responsibility for that is complining every two seconds that I'm short-staffed. All right. Um, but that being said, Ronnie, do you think you would have liked the reunion? Do you think you would have liked it? Please tell me you would have liked it. Tell me you would have liked me any kind of criticism real fold. They just can't take it. Should we just do a whole theoretical recap?

We'll just do theoretically like this is what this is what happened. We're not gonna recap that this season finale Well, that is pretty much it. I mean once once it was passed the mat and the Lexi stuff It's like gold or could use more people on Steve So we open with Matt telling Katie. I reckon those eggs will put me over the edge. I'm gonna cry Katie because he had to make eggs and fucked. He can't make eggs. He was fucked. He can't make a single fucking egg.

Okay, a chef. This professional chef who's too good for this could not make eggs. Yeah, and I actually made myself an egg sandwich and I overheard my eggs a little bit this morning, and I was like, fucking Matt, because I felt like it was Matt's fault. I was like, you put bad egg making into my brain, and now I just did it. I made a bad egg because of you.

I hate you, Matt. Really, that's so funny how Bravo seeps into our regular life, because I made eggs, and I flipped the egg. My egg was perfect and beautiful, and I was like, I mean, that's how it's done. Am I right? There's nobody in my house. But I feel good about myself. Yeah. Well, you should feel good about yourself because a good egg.

I mean, there's a reason why there's that expression. You're a good egg because it's special. Like a good egg is eggs are hard, but not for a chef. Yeah. So he's winding about about eggs and Katie's like he's stress is getting the best of him. How many he got to complain fish and bait family and now look at him losing it completely losing it. He's sparring. Yeah. And then the guest upstairs are not, you know, they don't like their eggs at all. They're like, you know, there was some sort of mix up with the omelette one with bacon, went to the wrong person, and another one was like, well, it's Chris as hell, which is probably Michael Eves I'm assuming. And then,

Matt's like, I'm embarrassed in sending this to the table. I mean, these are some of the worst egg dishes I've served in my career, but I just need to finish breakfast. I'm like, just to my career, but I just need to finish breakfast. I'm like, just make the damn eggs. Stop. Stop. You're pitiful enough. Like, why make yourself more pitiful? And one of the ladies won't even swallow her,

and the guys like, swallow your food. And someone's like, can we get a couple of toasted bagels to make this situation better? And then Sandy goes down to the gallant and is like, um, they want some toasted bagels. Oh, God, I mean, what a fucking bitch. The worst captain ever. Worst captain, right? Am I right?

Yeah. And upstairs, Katie's like, um, well, we do have some banana bread and a guy goes, this banana bread. Is he really known for dessert baking? I mean, is he really good? And she goes, well, he's generally very good on those things. And one of the guests goes, no, no, they're laughing at Matt's face. So, well, I'm sorry I have to say this. I haven't said it. I've kept myself from saying it to since all your time, but I have to say it now. I've only got two stools and I've got demanding guests and only two stools.

We all just have to move forward because they won't stop being demanding and you've got to just drop shit and let it go and carry on. Oh gosh if only I didn't have just two stools including me. Oh gosh. So they're going to have a beach picnic at two. So Katie is getting ready. And she goes down and tells Matt that they'll talk about the beach logistics soon. And he's like, okay, we're staying ever. It's like you're done with breakfast. Gosh. So Katie gets mad a hug when she does not not deserve if you ask me.

And then he's like, everything went backwards. And so for the picnic, he's going to make grilled chicken. The guests want grilled chicken and pesto pasta. And he goes, fucking relentless. I like it's literally the easiest thing. A grilled chicken and like a very basic pasta sauce. Yeah. Well, I think he came up with that because he comes up with like the super simple stuff, you know, he acts like he's this 10 star chef and then he's like, I'm going to make orange chicken,

but he is going to do that and she goes, maybe he has salad and he's like, fucking relentless. It's salad. It is lettuce in a bowl. Literally, while the pasta cooks, your your chicken's going to be on the grill. Your pasta is going to be cooking. You will have eight minutes to make a salad. So the captain checks on Malia, who's packing. And Malia's like, I'm going to need to take an interior with me. She said, go ahead, Malia. Do that because I have water toys.

Yes, Malia, go ahead. You know, there's a lot to do. Go ahead, Malia, take the goddamn, take the goddamn interior. Go. Yeah. So she, Malia and Coco are gonna go set up the picnic. And then because Courtney is on, is on helping with the picnic and Katie is doing laundry downstairs, the guests are not getting any sort of service.

So they're just sitting around in the hot tub, just waiting and they're like, where the hell is Katie? The guest gets out and looking around. It's like, sister Katie, hello? Sister Courtney, somebody? Anybody? Is there one? I hope you.

Matt's head just pops up from behind the stairs. It's like, it's like recreating the opening scene from it, you know, it's just like a like Matt's had in a storm drain. You know, I help you. God, that would fit Matt's head in the storm just peeking out of the storm drain. Just to what we mean to me, run, get in here, like hell, you better compliment my fish seasoning kids or you're dead. He doesn't he doesn't abduct children. He just like corners them into giving him compliments. Did you like it? Do you like this storm? He just under seasons everything for people until they compliment him. So well here are our game for weeks complaining we don't have enough

steves and then what do I do? I just started to go down a steward like what's wrong with me, right? It's literally every two minutes on this show every two minutes like and it's the most predictable outcome of that decision for anyone watching. Yeah. So then Katie goes to the ladies and they're like we're thirsty and we have been for a minute. She's like, what can I eat you? So she gets some drinks and Courtney and Malia

set up picnics and some kind of a cave type thing. And Malia's like, what do you think? Oh yeah, I have nothing to say. There's literally nothing happening. I was gonna say Matt drops some dressing like a, some dressing or something, and he's like, fuck me, my dressing. I'm like, honestly, that dressing was just trying to get away from you.

The dressing just knew it was shit. I was like, I don't want someone to eat me and be disappointed. I am not gonna go down for you, okay? Just take me to the trash. I'm trying to take myself to the trash. Katie, I need some help. I've got things to do, Matt.

But I only have one salad. Well, we're happy enough. Should I do burgers too? She's like, honestly, do what you want. What do you mean? Should I do burgers? She got some. What is wrong with you?

I'm a mess. So, guess, you know, being a whimy little brat does not make your food any better. Okay, your food still sucks. Put that energy into like going on YouTube and finding some cooking to some egg tutorials. Yeah, exactly. So Malia tells Matt that they need to be ready and 10. He's like, I'm gonna lose it. So, um, then, in case you forgot, David is actually in the middle of a character arc because he felt condescended to, but now he wants to put that aside and show that he really cares,

he wants to be that thaw my lia. So now, Malia is like, David, I want to reward you for your hard work by inviting you to go help with the picnic, which is admittedly much harder work than what you would have been doing on the boat. Congratulations. Yeah, and he's like, you're inviting me on a picnic really. I knew that you thought something felt something that I didn't know that I'd like with the guests, David. Exactly, which is why we're such a good pal. Thank you. Thank you very much. So the captain is having a very big captain scene. She's upstairs looking at the monitor going, look at this wind, man.

So then the tender returns for some food and dun dun dun. We're dragon. We're dragon. We are dragon. The anchor is dragon. Get stuff in immediately. Just throw the toys in. Don't pack anything neatly. Just get it in. We are about to be swallowed up by the earth itself. A whirlpool is opening and we are going to be sucked down into the center of this orb. We call our planet hurry up. I would like to give a shout out to Lady Gaga, who I once capped into ship for during an Iraq tour.

And I'd like to say, we're going into the shadows now. We're dragging. We're dragging. In the shadows, the shadows, in the shallows. In the shallows tomorrow, did I mess it up? Oh, God! Does Lady Gaga like me? Does she like me?

So Lloyd is there, you know. But getting really close to the shallow water. Well, the way the anchor is dragging right now, this could be disaster. Don't, don't, don't. The trancem is coming up, the naughty boys are being put away. We almost have a shallow water disaster. And it's fine. Actually, everything's fine.

Yeah, so over at the picnic, everyone's running around to get the food, and we worry about the guests, because the first thing one of the guests says is, oh, God, I'm so hungry. I really want a crab cake, which is not going to happen. Hope you like some grilled chicken breast, because that's what you're getting, sir. Enjoy, enjoy one of the most beloved pieces

of cuisine, the chicken breasts. Yeah. So, Malia is, David is like, wow, one of the most beloved pieces of cuisine, the chicken breasts. So, Malia is, David is like, wow, this fortress is monumentally gothic. And Malia says, I'm so proud of the guys for pulling this off, Lloyd on the jet skis and Z was composed and they were able to handle the chaos

and that's the oldenment test. They passed it. They were able to bring in some toys and then not have the boat go into shallow water. I'm so proud. So then buffet style over with the gas. And he's like, if you'd like to start helping yourselves and they're like, you're not serving us. And one of them goes, she did, one of the lady says, she did serve us. She brought it over from the boat. And they start laughing.

So then they like the food better. When he gets this stellar review, I think he should put this on his CV. Not bad. A guy. A guy who ate the chicken. I think they mean that he should, he should literally put a chicken breast on his CV and see what happens, make it more interesting. Oh, guys,

do they do that wrong? And speaking of which Matt is over in the kitchen with his stand mixer and he like cracks an egg into it and it like, I don't know, maybe gets shell or something and he's like and then he's like, I'm dead. All this charter, I've been trying to get out of my head and get to a happy place. When I mess up, I question if I'm from a good chef or not. You're not a good chef. There, questions answered. Move on.

Let us help you. No. So then Katie and David are talking on the job. They're both at the picnic and David's like, how are you holding up? I'm just like, well, I'm surprised my bigs aren't bigger under my eyes since I've been working 19 am with the dirt I've been short staffed and all who's like, there are no bags. Now, there is a ring in my pocket. Now David, it's a friendship thing. Got it. Got it. I'll keep that for friendship. David, did you just fall over again?

Why do you injure yourself so much, Alva Siden? So then Katie is like, well, you know what, this is just part of your thing. I once worked at Charter and Ibiza. They went three weeks straight and everyone stayed up till 6am. But of course, we didn't do it with Tuesdays. We had five.

As opposed to right now, we're up to, don't I mention that we only have Tuesdays, we had five. As opposed to right now, we're up to, don't I mention that we only have Tuesdays. So the yacht arrives because they've come to pick them up because of the anchor. So then Courtney is talking to Matt and she's like, God, this is a lot of work. I did 30,000 steps yesterday. And she tells us this is really hard, but it was Katie's decision. So I don't want to let it down because she's had my back all season. Um, I've been like, um, Katie, if you don't get me some help in this freaking laundry room right now, I'm going to lose my mind. Yeah, but it's also pressuring Katie to not take

on the third two because she wanted to get her stripes. So now she got her stripes. So she's like, oh, this is all Katie's decision, which ultimately it is, right? Because Katie's the boss. But still, come on. Did, did, did, honestly, was Katie, was Katie not even enough to think that she could go down to two stews and production was not going to send the most difficult guess her way. I mean, for crying out loud. So they bring, so bring back the and they're not even that difficult. I mean, these people

really just want to be served and have decent food. They're not asking for anything crazy. Just that they do doesn't set. The thing is, I think the issue is more that they don't sleep because they go to sleep at like 4.30 and then they're up at like 7 a.m. like, okay, we're in production. Like smashing up Adderall and putting in their drinks and stuff. So now the guests are back from the fortress and Z gets to drive the tender. And he's like, I'm just very grateful that Melia and David allow me to do things that other boats have and I'm hopefully I can be a captain in 10 years and oh Z fell off the boat. Wow.

Z always falls down. I just talked about David falling over, but actually Z is the prime fall over on this show. He falls over and when Z falls over, he falls so hard and with such ragdoll physics, it's always feet in the air, head first, something. Like, she's a... This is what we're at with the show, okay? I'm just talking about the show.

Yeah, counting how many times people fall down. So, Katie's with Matt and Courtney, and he's like, here's what, I want to do five courses. I was thinking Asian stuff does that sound good? She's like, no, God, I'm gonna shower, is that all right? He's like, hey, but, you'm gonna shower. Is that all right? He's like, hey, but you know, I was gonna do Shriptom for you to start.

Just math you, honestly. I don't care. All right, don't care. He's like, and then there's people are still packing up from the fortress and we come back to Maddy goes, I don't know what to choose, because I want to do all of them.

And Katie's like, I don't have time. And so now she's setting the table and she's like, we're staying ever. It's like, oh my God, I just want to stick his face into the stand mixer and just jam it in there. Yeah. So Katie is setting up the table with just some silver placemats, you know, and the captain who is really assistant on amazing show stopping parade inducing tablescapes is like wow nice table so you think you're gonna make it and she's like well the guests will be fine but money I don't know and she's like well I

can help you with whatever you need Katie it's more decision to live with yeah certainly is to stop your fucking complaining. Yeah, exactly. Um, so then Matt is like, yo, Katie, you're telling me not to do as many courses, but you won't tell me which ones to cut out. I'm like, oh my God, he is truly a child. He is truly like six years old. I just driving me absolutely nuts. And she's like, well, I don't mean to cut you off. It's just that last nod I was cleaning up dinner

until 1 a.m. I was like, oh, no, but I can't even think raw right now. And he like, she has told him so many times, shut up. Like everyone on this boat seems to realize that she is so stretched, stretched in whether it's like her own fault or not, she has like everyone is like appreciating her situation except for Matt. Yeah, so it's sort of cut you off. It's just always cleaning, so light, and you're like, what the hell? I have shrimp, and then I was thinking maybe chicken or fish.

Maybe salmon? She goes, salmon, do you say salmon? But should I do like maybe the fish and steak because you've already done the surf and to it but wasn't good enough can you do anything to show them I can really do surf and to. If I do Sam and I wear a shirt that Sam and color too will they get confused? What do you think Katie? She's like oh my out and he just looks for Lauren. He's like She's like, oh my, and he just looks for Lauren. He's like, so when we see a little scene of Malia drinking coffee and David comes, like, well, it's the end.

And he's like, actually, it's not the end yet. It's just the beginning. Malia, white person, where you met no David. Be my friend. That's what I meant to say. Totally fine being pals. Write me, write, promise to write. That's what I meant to say. Totally fun being pals. Right me? Right promise to right. And then Lloyd is, we learn that Lloyd has a plan to make a card for Malia to say thank you. And so, um, so, and I'm like, oh, that's cute. And then it becomes like sort of a, like,

what, but then we wind up having, we watch him choose the fonts and we watch him type out the letters. I watch him print it out. So he. So he starts this process. And then while it gets her sitting down for dinner and Katie has to ask Malia for help with service. So again, like drawing from another department because of your decisions. Okay, well, what's going up to you? He's doing a CV and the hole isn't rinsed Don't don't don't so she goes into the little office area where he's you know doing his But he got like clip art like print shot. Oh, yeah, he's getting. Oh, wait He's also getting help from Martin. So that was like like Good move. Good move Lloyd like way to get like get the hot guy to help you out make your your card

So Molly is like Lloyd. I love that you're working on your CV, but that is personal stuff and it's so crushing. No, I was just gonna say it comes after working. Right, right. Hey, Lloyd, I happen to notice your CV over there. I don't think employers care about a big photo about the four of us and you thanking us. I don't know if this is really

the direction your CV needs to go when he's like, thank you. So then Matt just goes, can you stab me in the face? He's in the kitchen, the galley and the girl, the ladies are picking up all the dishes to serve. And it shrimp tempura with garlic chili ailey. Yeah, shrimp tempura. He's really, really stretching out that fine dining to the very end. The fine dining experience is really off the charts. And then there's like a funny moment where Malia's phone rings while she's bringing the plates up and they're just like all eating their food. I also probably can I give a shout out to the Freckle guy. He was adorable. I feel like we have not given him his adorable credit. So, Freckle guy, congratulations, you're adorable.

So, then Malia goes up to Martin and she's like, Hi, Martin, I was wondering if you would consider Lloyd for the crossing position and he goes, Lloyd, she says, trust me. Well, we don't really have that many birthdays So I don't understand how many cards one man could do during a crossing But guess I could work out So then the next dish is stir fry with salmon and stir fried steak also and they like it and one of the ladies is like wow This was his best dinner. So Katie goes to match. She's like I'm sorry for for being grumpy. And he just kind of ignores her. He's like, well, they're happy.

He was fine. And then he's like, I needed that all day long. I couldn't focus or think of what to eat. And like, I was freaking out and like, I was coming out the spiral. That in itself is success. I'm like, no, a success is not you coming out of your spiral. Success is you just putting something interesting on the plate. That would be is success. I'm like, no, a success is not you coming out of your spiral. Success is you just putting something interesting on the plate. That would be a success. Yeah. This guy congratulate himself for actually just being at work. He's like, whoa, he came, whoa.

So then Martin does belong inside. And just the look on Lloyd's face is like, oh my God, it's a popular boy. What do I do? He's going to hit me. He's on the fetal position on the ground. He's like, oh my God, it's a popular boy. What do I do? He's going to hit me. He's on the fetal position on the ground. Let's cover this head. I know. Martin is like trying to remember his lines. He's like, Lord, can I speak to you for a moment? We are looking for an engineer who knows how to make lovely little cards during the crossing from CBDAQ to Barcelona and I was wondering if you were maybe keen to join us.

That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Emily is standing behind him like he acts like he just won a car on the prices, right? He's like, oh, thank you. Yes. Just want to point out to all our straight listeners that this is how I think about 85% of gay porn's begin. Well, the Martin thing, we would like you to come on a crossing across the cross. There will be no one else on the boat, just the two of us on the crossing. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and-

Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and

Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. Let's come here. So then, um, Matt and Katie again, he's like, well, you know

what, we need to discuss split, which is the place that they're gonna be going to vacation when this is all done. He's like, I reckon I might not even leave that house. I reckon I might not even leave that house. I, I don't like his overuse of the word, reckon, I'm like, I don't feel like match to be allowed. Yeah, where did that come from? Suddenly today, he says it all the time. So, also, by the way, you know what's helped me is that split house.

I'm so glad we didn't get to have to sit and like, see what happened and the way they were teasing it at the end of the episode, as if anyone cared, like, ooh, you don't want to know what happened at the split house. I'm like, that's exactly right. I literally don't care about the split house. So, um, another word for split, leave. That's how I feel about it. Just leave. Yeah. So now, um, it's after dinner and it looks like everyone's gonna be going to sleep for once but they just turn just change into their Sweats and their pajamas and they come back upstairs to play cards and everything and drink and it's just another night that they're they're gonna

Stay up until 4 a.m. Playing card, you know cards and everything and Service they say to train your guest like give your set up expectations for your guest right and I think that they've really done that on this boat because Jamal goes hey Katie do you have any of those barbecue chips? Oh, maybe some water. Oh and some gummy bears like wow. They really have trained you to have the lowest expectations Yeah, the last episode they wanted actual fresh baked cookies. And now they're kind of like, is there like a life saver that you found somewhere?

Could you, hey, could you unstick some of that gum from the bottom of the table and bring that over to me? Thanks. So, are there any left over scraps from the failed omelets that Matt tried to make this morning? take some right. So Katie guess what Katie says is very surprising. She goes the decision to go to entities to use was more decision and now I have to take the punishment. Which and in this case the punishment is that the guest then decided to go to

the hot tub because they're like, okay, he is the hot tub still warm because Like I can't even I'm so angry and so tired I cannot even open up my lips to give you a verbal ascent to this to your question so So then she just has to sit there. She's sitting there with David who's on anchor watch or something and just watching them on the hot tub for hours and hours and hours and hours Yeah, so go to bed go They're watching them on the monitors. So finally they go to sleep and David's like, oh, oh, God, you definitely are a champion, Katie, which is why I'd like to spend the rest of my no David with myself because I'm happy alone

and please having you as my friend. So now it's the final day of the charter and Yeah, they're basically Matt is like whoa yesterday's breakfast was a disaster today I'm gonna finish the season as simply as possible. Cook your own fucking eggs So then Courtney comes up to take drink quarters Courtney who just earned her two stripes Okay comes up to take drink quarters and the, who just earned her two stripes, okay? Comes up to take drink quarters, and the guy goes, can you make bloody marries? And she's like, no, but I can try.

And he goes, that's the wrong answer. She goes, no, I'm great at it. And then she goes to Google it. I mean, Katie, whoever is stuck with Courtney on the next boat, and get stuck with somebody who doesn't know how to make a bloody marry, when you just gave her two stripes. Listen, you just had it yourself.

You managed the guess expectations, right? Now she can serve them to be eight and be like, well, I tried my best. And I'll be like, okay, works for us. Yeah. So then, um, let's see. So Matt makes three of French toast with strawberry syrup. And she goes to serve that to you And they they ask for regular syrup to oh my god so difficult. I know and Matt is like he's he's saying like He's like yeah, you know, I know French toast with strawberry syrup is kind of a cheat like it's not a cheat Like just make good shit and people will be happy. It's fine

So then it's time to dock more tacking tack tacking, tacking, tacking, tacking one last off and for all time sick and we're a docked. Yeah, we're a dad. So then Katie wakes up. Z gets his rope across, which is great. And if he ended his arc, got that one. He doesn't fall over the process. He doesn't fall. He doesn't fall over. The process doesn't fall. So let's see. Katie sees that Courtney has served something, and that's billed it all over someone.

So she's like, oh my God, you, this is life-changing. What I've seen from you. Watching her go from laundry to smashing at breakfast and not really knowing how to make one single drink they asked for, but still, doing it all while rubbing her ass against a pole next to the dining room table. Oh, she deserves that two stripes. Yeah. So then

they all line up, the guests leave, Jamal and Ian give their little speech. And I like Sandy is standing right next to Katie and she goes, Oh, I feel real tired today, huh? And Gatie's like, she's like, I am not Katie. I am just a robotic simulation of Katie. I have died. I died last night and I am, this is just the last gas is leaving my body. So now is her final speech to the tip meeting. Is her final tip meeting speech?

We don't get what kind of wind you are. I mean, what the hell is going on't get what kind of wind you are. I mean what the I'm going to see and come on you guys. I feel like you're just you're just daring me to turn this off. I don't get a final wind. No, no wind assessment. It's very upsetting. Or even if it wasn't going to be a wind, maybe it's like a type of fish, you know, or type of anchor or like a different, a different style of wave or something. Yeah, nothing. You're a title, you know, yeah. But that's pretty much all there is. You know, the first charter that you chose to only go with on two stools, that was my, this wasn't.

But you know what? You stepped up to the plate and you worked hard. Incredible job. Incredible job. Matthew, you continue to be the opposite of the person that boarded this vessel. So good for that. That's good. And of course, by that, I mean, when you boarded the vessel, you seemed like someone that was agreeable and pleasant to be

around. So congratulations for being the opposite of that person. And Malia, what can I say? I'm going to cry. Look, here's me about to cry. Mame, mame, mame, that was my cry. Okay. I'm so proud of you. Like I said from the first time we worked together, you're a natural born leader and you invest in your team. We did it, guys. And you get 20 grand and for this season we got a hundred and thirty two thousand dollars. Whoa, and guess what tonight? I'm coming to dinner with you. Oh, by the way, I'm inviting our quarantine chef,

Luca, over for drinks to say thank you. I'm not like, yeah. He just gives us like, furious look. Yeah, so, yeah, we had to get him dinner now because tomorrow he goes to a date but he still look like competition. So, you know, tomorrow he's got to go back to be a stronger, better looking and more talented than that

could ever be. So, you know, let's show him a good time, guys. Tomorrow he has a busy photo shoot as the new guy on the Gordon's fish, fish sticks box. So, you know, so clean, clean, clean, time to go out. Lloyd brings the card around to sign for Malia. And the captain calls Luke at a come over for drinks. And yeah, the card is like a picture, you know, with probably the back just says, I would just like to thank you for finally being somewhere where I could be myself totally completely open up about being 10% not straight

and getting nothing but hugs. Thank you so much. You've changed my life now. Please, please don't let me go another day not knowing whether I'll ever find such comfort and other human beings again. There are some boats. Well, I am not given the freedom to make a lovely little card. Thank you for giving me this freedom. So, uh, so a bunch of the deck hands are kind of like on the dock, smoking or whatever. And then Luca approaches. He's with like barrels over and, uh, he's like, hi, guys, I'm coming to meet Captain

Sondi. Uh, blue, I've got blue and white stripes and yellow jacket on. So you know, I mean business. Okay. to meet Captain Sondi. I've got blue and white stripes and yellow jacket on, so you know I'm in business, okay? Where's Captain Sondi? And he's kind of a dick right away. Like, you can tell he's a dick, and then I'm like upset because I feel like we missed out on some good, like, dick drama. Really? I didn't think he was a dick.

I thought he was just like, they're making me calm beyond camera for two seconds. So it was embarrassing. Like, could I just stay at home? But it was like, like, it was that, but it was like a dick energy wrapped up with it too, I felt. So he goes in and the captain's like,

how is quarantine blue guy? He's like, not that easy for a while, four weeks. And she's like, well, you know, let's go say hello to the crew. That's Malia. Check, hi, I'm Malia. And then Matthew's just sitting there in a booth just giving him the dirtiest looks. It's like, why? Why is Matt giving him a dirty look? This poor guy sat in a hotel room before we straight. I mean, that is not fun.

Okay. And Lucas, like, well, I was the backup Jeff for you guys if something goes wrong. So, was the backup Jeff for you guys if something goes wrong. So just wanted to say hi. Thanks for keeping me in hotel jail for four weeks. Thanks a lot guys. Thanks. And Matt just gets up and leaves the room. He's like, it's fucking uncomfortable. Gosh. So then Katie comes over to Luca and she's like, Oh, yeah, see you. You know, Luca, you know, it's funny because Matt quit twice. I thought, okay, we're see you. Yelika, you know, it's funny because Matt quit twice. I thought, okay, we're gonna need you seeing enough, but we never did, but we kept it there for four weeks. That's funny, isn't it, Luka?

Funnigang. Matt and his captain, he's telling David, for dinner, I gotta stay sober, or I'm gonna attack, and I don't wanna attack until last night. What the fuck, what the fuck do you have to attack about? Yeah. Literally everybody has done everything to save your ass all season. Who are you going

to attack? Exactly. So then, but then eventually Matt comes out and he like talks to Luca and it's like awkward banter. He's like, who are you a Scorpio? Because he thinks the lobster tattoo is a scorpion and Luca's like, it's a lobster tattoo. He's like, oh, cool. That's so pathetic that the chef doesn't even know what a lobster is. I mean, that's bad. Yeah. And then Katie's like, say I was quirming time. He's like, well, I worked on recipes and worked out a bit and wondered what I did to deserve the hell to be sitting in this hotel for four weeks. I do not know why I do this. And why I'm here right now. Just watching Matt's face doing while he's this guy. It's like the perfect version of a chef comes in. You know, we spent time looking over recipes and working

out like nothing that Matt does. Yeah, exactly. He's like, you know, I would, I would run to simulations like what if I had to cook three courses for people? And I said, hmm, shrimp, I've got shrimp, and I've got salmon and chicken and beef, which one do I choose. And then I would choose something very easily and quickly. You know, it's an easy task. You know, I would do my pushups, do some pull ups, and then I would just, you know, practice different styles of eggs. You got to have them perfect, you know?

Sometimes in the morning I would do what I call egg stacking, which is where you just break open eggs and you stack the yolks until they reach the ceiling. And I'm very good at it. No, no problem there. So Matt follows them off the boat. He's all mad. And then the captain's like, okay, Luke, well, thanks for coming. Bye now.

It's like, you may have just walked over to the boat for a beer and now we can't even come to dinner. You guys suck. I know. That was such a strange thing. It's like, well, I guess we have them. So let's, let's put the poor guy on TV for one second. Yeah. So now they all get in the vans without Luca. They send Luca back into the wild. And, um, they get to a restaurant where there's a waitress of the enormous menu. Like it was like she had a boogie board.

And they order and Sandy's like, the team, this team was the epitome of teamwork, makes the dream work. I don't know if you've heard of that phrase before. It's one of my favorites. Teamwork makes the dream. I also say, network makes the path work. Okay. Very specific use of it, but it's a good phrase. You are the best crew I've ever worked with and I'm not just saying that all I've ever wanted was people that desperately needed approval. And here you are. A whole boat full of you. I mean, how often does this happen? It's a miracle. And Katie's like, well, I'll have to say, I'll have to say, Melilla does this happen? It's a miracle. And Katie's like, well, I'll have to say, I'll have to say, Melia, thank you. There's no way we could have finished the season without you.

You know, the deck time, you really helped me out. When I made terrible decision, but was more a decision, I wanted to live with it. You didn't have to go down to Tuesdays. Everyone's like, we know Katie, we know. But it was funny watching the Captain Tristanife getcha. Okay, I just want to. But it was funny watching the Captain Tristan might get you. Okay, I just want to go over everyone's highs and lows

for the season. And, Lord's like, well, everyone knows Milo. I'm just like, oh, come on, Lloyd, you're still perfect. Okay, here's Milo. Milo was that night we had to cook. Sorry. When Matt quit, sorry. And then I had to have the client put me into the cabin

and tell me how bad everything was. God, really? He's like, oh, no, no, no, but wait, here we, here's, here's twist. My high point was the dinner and watching people that have never met each other on that charter, pull it off. So Matt, the point is this, and my two most most celebrated moments you're not part of either of them okay and he's so pissed and Katie's like from that moment we all did born so mad at least thank you for that he's like go is it team building exercise

and David goes well i want to speak on everyone's behalf and thank you Matt for everything you've done. I'm like, no, don't, don't, don't stop that, David. You do not speak on behalf everyone, okay, because we are invisible members of this crew and we do not approve of you speaking on behalf of us. Here's what we say as invisible members. Fuck you, Matt. Fuck you. So then, Molly is like, David, you're the one who has looked over the most and you didn't ask for praise. You were the lead deck hand.

So congrats to our lead. And he's like, so do you want to marry me now? Mm-hmm. He lives in the house. Everyone's like, no, David. So then shots and the captain leaves and Lloyd gives another speech and gives Mollia her card and she's like, oh my god, these are just like my brothers. Wow, I've honestly never had this happen on a boat before. Yeah, I mean, this is definitely the nicest group of people they've

ever had in below deck. Unfortunately, they also made for a very boring season. So then, now they're all doing shots and they're just having fun and they're like walking on the boat and Lloyd pushes the and Z just flops right down face first on the sofa and like go up. It's a whole thing ragged all right there. Yeah. So they're like pouring beer into each other's mouth out of a little keg and the girls are dancing on the little lazy season and spinning each other around.

And then David tries it and of course goes flying right into the wall. And he also has a ragged arm. I mean, he like crumples up like it's just like his feet are up above his head. Oh, fun times. So now it's the morning and there were. Mollia's waking everyone up because there's gonna be a boat that's gonna take them to split for their split Airbnb or whatever and so now come like some very

Perfunktery hugs goodbye for Sandy. They just it's like one after the other Courtney comes in. It's like boy Sandy Bye. Bye. I think that was it. Yeah So basically everybody just says bye Matt comes in and he's like, thanks for the second chance. And his nose is all red and he's got watery eyes and he's like, I have some growing up there too, but I'm proud of not freaking out last night. I get credit for that, right? No. No.

No. You don't get credit for being professional at work. Yeah, and why would you have freaked out? You literally just had to make dinner like every other night, weirdo. So then Lloyd comes in and then C comes in. And then Katie is like, thank you so much. Your supporters met the world. I mean, you've pushed me to make me a better leader.

I'm emotionally involved So it's real hard to find that long sometimes well good I'm glad I taught you that leading with your emotions is the completely right thing to do you did a great job. Cut. I admire you And then Malia comes in and she's like we did it Just an incredible 180 you are from your first time and it. Just an incredible 180 you are from your first time. And Malia says she wants to be to the deck hands what Sandy was for her. She's gonna help people find their place in the world of yachts and stuff like that. So anyway, they all hop off the boat and Katie's like, well, I don't know how this

works, but it worked so fucking well, except for the times when it wasn't looking quite as well on account of me. It literally didn't work well. What are you talking about? Your first charter at the chef left. Your third charter, I think it was the third, the chef left again. Lexi, the whole Lexi mess was a disaster. Then you fired a girl who didn't do anything wrong and then you made a mess of the last

like what, three weeks. You crazy. It did not go well. who didn't do anything wrong and then you made a mess of the last like what three weeks you crazy did not go well. So then like fades out they're all gonna go to split and it's like so what happened in split and then everyone's like oh and Courtney is like well a few things definitely happen that will never be spoken of again. It was like one of, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh broke like a ladle, you know, it's like, oh, David broken a double, you know, and they're acting like it's the biggest scandal. Yeah. And that brings us to the end of a season of below dick, midditoronine.

Well, look, they can't all be winners. And below deck, Madden's had some really good seasons. And, you know, sometimes you just get a dud. Actually, there were parts of this season that were very, very good, but kind of just the past few weeks, kind of just like, kind of just got the bad. Yeah, shit the bad at the end there. But that's okay. the bad. Yeah, shit the bad at the end there. But that's okay. Yep. We got at least we get a nice break before the next blowdeck starts, right? Oh, what does it start tomorrow? Tomorrow. It starts next week.

Before below deck adventures and then below deck sleeping pigs and then below deck in the woods. Below deck deck of cars. I would love below deck space. I love. I would, I'd totally be into below deck space station. Yeah, me too. That actually, you take that advice and run with it, Rob's, okay? Yeah, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us this season. We still recapping other stuff every day. And guess what? We'll be back with below deck. We still recapping other stuff every day. And guess what? We'll be back with below deck.

Huh, next week. Look at that. We certainly will also keep an eye out for obviously our tickets going on sale. We got band of pump rules coming. We've got Beverly Hills and our bonus this week. Winterhouse. Mmm. That should be fun.

Yeah, so we will be back tomorrow. We'll talk to you guys later. Bye. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Saboni, she don't take no baloney. Dana C. Dana Duh. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella.

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