Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Never Say Hookah Again

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

Below Deck (S10E07) goes on a journey with demanding, hookah loving guests and a Camillecano that erupts. Again. This week's bonus is about our Holiday Vacays. For our premium bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens, a podcast. Oh, that's crappy to talk about on your bros. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there. Hello, believe it.

A little Blini Ben Ben. Hi, how are you? I'm good. How's it going with you today on this fine below deck day? It's going so well. I feel very rested from the weekend, which I guess it's still the weekend or post weekend for me. Feeling great. How about you?

Oh good. I'm just loving sitting here. Well, I'm loving that we added some new dates. So some of you guys wanted some new dates for our live shows because we weren't coming to your city. And so we got them out. Guy, if you want tickets for our live shows, go to watch what crappens.com, all the links are there. Some of the new cities are on pre-sales.

So just use a crappens 2020-23 to get into those pre-sales. That's craens 2023. I'm gonna do a list real fast and then I'll slow down for the new cities. Okay. So it's running and I just wanna add that the new cities go on sale generally. The pre sale is Wednesday,

but the general on sale is on Friday. Okay, so here they are. We open an Austin, Texas, then we're going to Dallas, Phoenix, LA, which is where we're having the 2023 Goode in Crappies at the Wilden Theater. It's going to be a huge, really fun show. Then we're going to Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Salt Lake City, first time there, Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto, Philadelphia, New York City, back at town hall. Oh, Broadway.

And Washington, DC, and we have just added San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago, and Columbus. So those are the newest additions to our crap and family. Go get your tickets at watch what crap and it's calm. There's links for everything there. And again, the pre sale code is crap and it's 2023. Also, we do video podcasts a couple of times a week. This week, we're doing Southern hospitality and Salt Lake City as a Vigia's. Those are on our crap and it's on demand section over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's where we also do bonus episodes. There's a discord server

which is super fun to hang out and chat with other people on. So go to patreon. Thank you to everybody who supports us to everybody who's already bought tickets. A lot of these are selling really, really well. Let's sell them out, y'all. Sell them out every single one of them. That would be a dream. Like, it really is a dream. I mean, I have to say that when we have a sold out audience, the energy in those in those houses is always so special and exciting. So if we could get some of those, that would just be, that would be awesome for this year. So today is below dick and it's episode seven of season 10 and it's called eight man, seven different languages. Yes, big, uh, spicy episode, if I'm any say spicy. We got some terrible guests, which is great.

We haven't had terrible guests all season long, and now we have some truly terrible guests. We had some guests that were sort of, you know, I really, but now we got bad ones. Feels great. So here we are. We are in the middle of Camille having her breakdown because the captain said, guess what?

Need to be less fresh, okay, fresh, she fays. Need less of a fresh mouth for me of Camille having her breakdown because the captain said, guess what, need to be less fresh, okay, fresh, she fives. Need less of a fresh mouth for me, Camille, because if you can't get less fresh, you're gonna, I can't say get a plane ticket home. I'm gonna hug you all the way home, okay? I'm gonna hug you and tell you're home. Do you understand? This is your last chance.

And she's like, oh! Hey, hey Camille, you see what I'm doing here with my hand? You see this? Uh, you're making sort of like a fist like you're holding something. That's right. Because guess what I'm not holding? Mentos. Okay. So I'm holding air. It's the non-fresh maker. I want no fresh making. maker. I want no fresh making. The never-year fresh breath there, Missy. You have this charter to prove, wait for a rhyme because it's going to really make it stick in your head. I learned that leadership school. Proof that you're in it to win it.

Oh my God, that's right. My hate runs. Why is she rhyming at me? So Camille just starts running through the boat, sobbing all over everybody. And he's like, I mean, when's going on? What do I have to prove? What am I going crazy? I'm running with me.

Am I out of that's what the reality is? Yes. Yes, and yes. You're a huge fucking asshole, and you're the only one who doesn't see it. Did you see her video that people were sharing on, well, we were shared from our good friend, the bitch used to ask us with all time. So shawne, the, ah.

We know I didn't see any video from her. Oh, God. She gets on her fucking Insta or whatever, whatever these kids are on. And she's got like 137 ounce Styrofoam cup from someplace, it's pretty chick-fil-a, driving around in the car her parents bought her, in sunglasses. Of course, making this video while she's driving. It's like the worst of America and Cam's

related into this tiny little video. And she's like, yeah, well, first she told Captain Leigh off on Twitter, did you see that? How am I missing out? What? I need people to forward me these things. How am I missing out? OK, you have a life. I'm on social media all the time.

But he said after her episode, you know, one of her breakdown episodes, something like, while Camille, I didn't see this part of you. And the the worst thing you're missing, because the episode said, what am I missing of you. And the worst thing you're missing, because the episode said, what am I missing? He said, the worst thing you're missing is your brain. And I don't approve. You know, something like that, Captain.

He gets saucy on Twitter. I love it. Yeah, and you know, they're supposed to give their opinion. So he's always telling everybody from the episode off on Twitter. So she's like, oh, really? I'm missing my brain. Well, like, I'm just a 24 year old trying to make it through life.

And I don't need some old ass telling me, I'm missing my brain. You're missing your brain. You know, oh, got him. That's extremely paraphrased, but she came for captainly. Since she makes this video and she's like, you know, what you guys? Like, I know you you guys, like, I know you think you're like being like really funny, like coming onto my page saying all this shit,

but like, she's sipping from her fucking chickfully styrofoam or whatever. She's like, but you know what, like I'm just like a young person, like, so stop trying to like come onto my page because I wouldn't go onto to your page with three followers and talk about how fat you are. So that would be great. I was like, well, classic, come here.

It's terrible. Classic. I was actually rooting for a semi-truck to run a red light. I mean, what a fucking monster. There, there's like, it's amazing how many things this person can say that could just make you so angry. This always seems like there's always someone on below deck that can do this. I think that, I mean, do we have to have a crappies category

of worst yacht worker and just have her go up against the asshole from below deck adventure versus Ashley from below deck sailing yacht versus, I don't know, tsunamis, what would I just tell him? For tsunamis. Does not help, versus toe fungus. Hahaha, versus teak that's been spilled on. No one like that.

So she's still going on this rant, and she goes into one of the guest cabins crying, and Alyssa says she's changing seat sheets, but all I can really see her doing is squatting down next to a bed that's already made, kind of lightly smoothing out the sheet on it while she watches Camille have her breakdown. And Camille's like, come on, get out of here, Lisa, I'm dead as serious, get out, I'm begging you, I'm begging you. She's like, babe, I'm just pulling sheets off this bed. Babe.

Yeah, Alissa is one of those people that has that instinct to get, like, generally has this instinct except at the end of this episode, to sort of get quieter and like cheerier when someone's losing their shit. Go a cramp different room, I'm pulling Captain Sandy's sheep babe. She's like watching a standing there. She really wields babe like a knife.

Babe is turning into a very passive-aggressive word in general. When I hear babe now, although not from you, because you text me babe a lot, but when I hear babe, generally speaking, it's turning into like a past like it's like it's like almost like huh now It's not like hey babe. Can you do this for me babe? You know, I think people should be aware. I think babe is on the rise for patent the world of past regression Well, she's mastered it babe. I'm just in here pulling sheets babe Yeah, and wait she's pulling sheets for Captain Sandy. Was that Captain Sandy's room?

Well, that's what I was actually thinking about that too, because it didn't look like Captain Sandy's room, but maybe it was, or maybe she was to get all the orders. Why would Camille go start sobbing in Captain Sandy's room? Really weird. I don't think it was her room.

So, Alyssa's like, you know, I like actually feel bad for her, but So, Alyssa is like, you know, I like actually feel bad for her, but I'm just like trying to quietly collect my sheets and dip out. And so she goes, I mean, you clearly have an issue. She goes, yeah, I'm going to have an answer. I'm going to go I don't have an issue. I don't want one. So okay, babe, I'm just going over here and that babe. Oh, okay. So it feels like I can't. So she goes to her cabin to keep sobbing.

Meanwhile, the captain passes Tony. She's like, good morning, Tony. He's like, morning, I've worked out in the morning. All right, well, get here. We'll get to you later, crazy pants. Okay. Okay. He's like, so many non-mentos to go around here. He's just holding up. Hey, would you like to York peppermint patty? Guess what? Don't have one.

It's not going to keep you fresh, okay? So then, uh, so Camille's crying in a room and then Rachel's getting a back scratch from Frazier and then Ben goes up and consoles Camille and's hogging her and she's like, I just got my ass chewed out again. It's like, Captain Sandy literally was like, hey, so you know what? I'm gonna need you to step up a little bit otherwise I may have to get rid of you. Like that is not an ass chewing out, man.

Yeah, she even gave you a rhyme. I want you to be in it to win it, you know. But Camille is like the perpetual victim in life. Like she is the one she can do no wrong. She is just a vessel for mistreatment, you know, like when those nuns, when those nuns kicked, like circled her up to see if she had her cell phone on her when she wasn't supposed to have it. And she was found with a cell phone on her. It wasn't that she broke the rules. It was that she was standing up for her rise in a,

a small mom of pops organization that, that needs, needs people to use its services. So she wasn't breaking the rules. Yeah. Um, and Ben is doing that thing where he knows he's with a crazy chick, but she's really hot. And so he's going to do whatever he can to keep it. He's like, I listen here. You know what you need to do.

Bring that small back. With that small. With that small. Yeah, give me a six months. He's going to be like, oh, it says stop calling me. Do not keep panting on the door. I will not have a new door, but again, I'm begging you. It's very reminiscent of Kyle and Frank on Blood Deck,

Matt, you can lose anything, but don't lose that small. So, um, Frazier, meanwhile, is like looking at himself and the mirror and he goes, I've got quite a lot of nip of this up to sighted, I'm going to get them all augmented. Oh fuck, I've got some experiments with them. And then Haley is realizing how fitted sheets work. And she's like, fitted sheets really make life so much easier, really, don't they? Like a dick. Like a dick. Who could live with Adam?

Him alright? He'd try to live with Eddie Dixie, I East sleepin' all the more I ride with him. Oh, have you ever masturbated with a fit? It's a shit. Oh, it feels so good. By the way, it's a lie. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard.

Fitted sheets never make anyone's life easier. Sure, they hold on to the mattress better than if you just did a top sheet. But let me tell you something, every single time I make my bed, I'm like fucking fitted sheet. You were the worst thing I can ever tell which side is the right side.

Even when it has a little tag that's like side or top or bottom or whatever, they curl up on you, you put one corner down, then you go to the other one, the first corner pops up again. Fitted sheets are the assholes of the linen world. And I'm just gonna say that right now, they are the camellals of linens.

They are performatively, performatively good, but working with them, very difficult. I disagree. I find corners with my fingers and pinch them where the corners are. And then I say, is this big? Is this how much I love you? And if I stretch out my arms and I can hug,

then I'm like, no, that's not how much. I love you this much because I can't reach the other corners. So now I know which is the top and which is the bottom. Also you need to get deep fitted sheets. Okay. If you have a deep mattress because I've got 9 million things. I've got a mattress. I've got a foam top or I've got a foam top or four, the foam top or I've got all sorts

of shit on there. So I have deep ones. The evil one is a fucking flat sheet. Who do you think you are? And why are you curled up under my neck by the end of the night? Or how come you're wrapped around one big toe? And then I don't ever see you again. Well, you can't blame the top sheet for your thrashing, sir. Okay. That is on you. You're the one who went into the top sheets home and un-morted from its hospital corners and tangled it up around your big toe. Well, I decided to go back to top sheets because I

wasn't using them because I used a TV cover and I could just watch that but getting that fucking thing inside the TV cover every time I'm over it. So I was like, I'm using top sheets so that I can watch a TV cover less, not working out. And by the way, it's being of duvet covers for all those people that I think they're so all those fresh math people who are on YouTube talking about the California rule method. You know, I use it. I do it. I don't like it. I don't like the process. I don't feel like it's that much easier than doing a big sloppy, you know, put the duvet into the duvet cover thing. I don't know if it's that much better. I do it because it's a challenge. It's like how I taught myself how to fold a fitted sheet, you know? It's like I do it

not because I like it, but because I want to have that feather in my cap so I can say, oh, I know I do the California roll, but it's not, it's, I don't love it. I don't love that process. I'll tell you this much. California rolls should not have mayonnaise. That's it. I've had your shit California. I Okay, I'm into it. I actually don't mind the male in the California role. There. I said it. Okay. Well this shows over. Thanks everybody for coming. Yeah. Yeah, my So we can do this for three hours. So then Camila's like I'm gonna do my work. And then immediately breaks the glass. She's about to find her. Every single episode breaking glass.

Does she understand gravity? Does she understand the concept of holding on to things? I do, I was in a bathing suit recently. Okay, so now on deck, Ben is like, how are you feeling Ross and Ross is like, amazing, I'm walking without, without hunger for I am. And Tony's like, this guy was like, how are you feeling Ross and Ross is like, amazing. I'm walking without, without hunger for I am. And Tony's like, this guy was like, fucking on top of my bed, man, talking about

Ben because I forgot that too. The Ben was just like, banging Camille. Yeah. Go and add it. And Tony's like, oh, man, like next time, like, let me know and I'll walk away. And Ben's like, oh, thanks, bro. Meanwhile, Tony's noise is when he works out 10 times louder than anything. man, like next time, like let me know and I'll walk away and Ben's like, oh, thanks, bro. Meanwhile Tony's noise is when he works out 10 times later than anything they came out

of Ben's bed. Yeah, he wants to be the only one going, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, so now Frazier is having a talk with Captain Sandy and he's like, Captain Sandy, I'm going to have Camille on early shifts so I can be with her technically all day long So there's no chance of there being any animosity when I'm not there and Sandy goes Thank you Mad respect Mad respect yo

I love when Captain Sandy suddenly on sons of anarchy like mad respect dad, okay, okay Doug okay with the W Yeah with the W. Yeah, with the W, because you know what the W stands for? The win, you know, you're not only in it to win, but the win is in the word. So you're in it to have win in your word. See what I'm saying, that wug. And fresh is like, Oh, thank you so much, that made so much to me. Like, you know, skips off that he got a mad respect dog from Kev from Caffer's family. It's always wanted all his life.

It's like you're disgusting human being. I mean, that is a compliment. So preface sheet meaning, okay, guys, gosh, you know how when they build boats, they start with the stairs. I don't think they did that with this one. Is that true? I don't know. That's one of those things. I want to get out. Let's talk about the stairs. Spiral a straight wooden metal. This boat ain't being built. So we got the stairs down.

Well, to be fair, all the boats I've I've I've kept and have come from the MC Esher boat company. So, you know, so I'm too stupid to get that one, but I'm assuming it was artistic. Now, I don't think they did that with this one. So, okay, Charter for don't worry. Esher's not here. Okay. But the primary is Karen Bakshi. He owns multiple businesses in the vagina area.

Sorry, the asmian and Bacache has been a long time, am I right? It not only has an ion, you know why that eye is in it? To win it. Forgenia to win, I'm ja. Listen, Virginia, let me tell you about Virginia, Virginia. It wasn't going to win. Then you put an eye in it. And now there's an eye that's in it to win it. Virginia, it's going to win. You know, there was just once this little girl who

lived in the Midwest, her name was yeah. And people said, you can't have that be your name. You're Virginia, because she was a virgin. Well, then she got a little loose in high school. Long story short, we call her slut, you know. You know, what can I tell you? Okay, let's get to Karen and his wife, Capna. They travel together closely with their friends and they never leave home without their hookah. Now, well, you know, say other me? Yeah, go ahead.

Who don't leave home without their hukka? Come on, you know what I say. Now, I know this is different because culturally, right? But my general rule is strip mall hukka people are not to be trusted. Who are like, hey, let's go into the hukka place. That's my general rule. Now, I know this is a little bit different because it's cultural, but I still, people who carry around their own hookah to yachts beware. Yeah like well yeah exactly I yeah it was a little bit of a red flag for me.

I just think it's it's big that's what I mean you know it's big and big. Hey me and my friends like pool were bringing up pool table like come on you're on above. table. Come on, you're on about. Exactly. So by the way, I have to say, I love, I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but Chef Rachel during this meeting, she had a little golden girls mug. And I have to say, I love that. I love that. That was there. Love the golden girls representation in this meeting. So guess what? They want their food hot. So you know, Rachel, this is a great chance for you to mention what you mentioned last week. Uh-huh, okay.

I studied in India for a couple of months, like mainly Kerala and mainly Goa. So it shouldn't be a problem in my mind. As soon as she said that, I was like, oh, this is not gonna go well. She's gonna bring some of that like Kerala and Goa, that I studied in Kerala and Goa hubris to this. And it's just gonna go well. She's gonna bring some of that like, Kerala and go up, that I studied in Kerala and go a hubris to this, and it's just gonna fall flat.

Yeah, because when you study everywhere, you generally learn the most basic things, right? It's like, I know five languages, and you know how to say five, of like hello and five languages. Right, and that's it. So I worry. Also, she's been around so much and just

seeing Rachel's personality, how she's like so amazing and hilarious and then so psychotic the next second, which we haven't really seen this season. But for long time viewers, you know this to be true about Rachel. It makes me wonder if she's traveled so many places because she just keeps getting kicked out of countries. Also, I generally just get, some of them I get nervous when white people try to cook really spicy food because I feel like it never quite works out. Like we've seen a lot of top chef where it's like you're a cooking Indian food for Padma and Padma is like, so did you mean for there to be no spice in this whatsoever? You idiot. Congratulations on having known the close.

Should Gal be throwing a blonde wig up in the world because this is very basic dove soap to me. Wow. This what spice did you use? Was it gal, you know, something dull and unremarkable that makes no impact on my palate? It's actually negative spice. It's so negative I'm adding spice into your mouth now. It's time for commercial.

It's time for a crap and scum. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling

and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. Mershaw. So the captain's like, okay, it's a Bollywood dinner priority, hat, hat, hat. And Fratius is like, yes, they want to be ch-barbeque with the Santa's soft and light and that's

up to you, Ross and Captain Sandy, they're going to need for you to repeat. What do you want me to repeat? You know, you know, just say it, please just say it. Matt respect dog. I win. I win. Hey, Fridge, your eyes are going to the back of your head. Cause I have mod respect right now. I've received it. So then Sandy, Sandy Almondson has this new thing where

she's like, Hey, so you know what I want to do for the first time in seven years? I want to emphasize that we leave the deck because that way they are going to ride by boat. And that makes you go, wow, look at this massive yacht. Look at all these toys. You know, you feel like James Bond, you know, because like, remember when Daniel Craig was like, hey, I got to go, I got to go spy on something but first I need to go down a slide. So come on James bonded up, right? Dun dun dun dun dun dun That might be a mission impossible, but guess what's not impossible a Slide so we saw this we saw this begin to happen in her below deck med season when she's like

Oh my god the wind hold wind, holy mother of wind, Santa Maria, moderate a windows, because wasn't hers the season where it was always windy, so they had to keep tendering people to the boat. And I think she just got addicted to it. And so now she doesn't want to look like a worse son. Now she says, like James Bond would do. Yeah, because I mean, she's always loved toys. She loves having all the toys out.

That's not new, but the whole, I'm actively going to go away from the docs that way they have to make a entrance by boat is new. And that's very, I was like, that's just like James Bond. James Bond's showing up at a small boat to get on a bigger boat. Oh, and then afterwards, when they get here, they can beat us all up just like James Bond.

It feels like when my dad drops my mom off at the restaurant entrance because he has to pair a little parking. It doesn't want to be berated the whole time. You know, the camera is a tepark in space. Pull at the James Bond boat. Okay, so wrong side. No, it's funny. It's don't survival. You know, it's funny because you know, if it's funny, other me, whenever I'm about to do the James Bond theme song, you come in with a non James Bond theme song and kick it out of my head and it takes me about a minute to get James Bond back in there.

Okay. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da In a duane it in a duane it in a duane it in a duane it in a duane it. Why? Guys we're going to make food real hot. Why? Cause this guy falls and a moon breaks and those and back. Sorry, I forgot, I forgot how to tell lyrics, but got to love that one. Golden Mad Respect, I full of so much Mad Respect.

That's all I can really remember from that song. I just gonna you know if you say mad respect over Most James Bond songs it works like Nobody gives mad respect better No Fingert mad respect FINGER! Mad respect! So then we go to Haley talking to Tony and she's like, I reckon they're going to be awful guests because everyone's been right

nice so far out in there. My one person has been inside of me yet. Spectral people, every single one of them. Maybe not mad respectful, but human respectful. And Tony's like, be positive. Shut up, Tony. You just cried for three weeks because you couldn't fucking do your push-ups at the time you wanted to. I love that Tony is like a sleeper, no pun intended, but sleeper, terrible person also. Like Camille is getting all the attention, but Tony is like awful also. But Tony is like awful also. So then Ross, uh, Ross and Katie are somewhere and on the boat and he's like, it's romantic up here. Is it not? You're already taking a back. You're already welcoming him back in. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just I'm a hot girl. Anywhere I am is romantic. Right? It's what they tell mewhere I am is romantic, right? It's what they tell me. Am I am? So then Camille's like, the cabin's done, the laundry's done. I'm an organizational gal Paul today. And Fratius is like, oh, that's wonderful. That's just kidding. Please stay away from me. I'm hucking you in my mind. All right. I'm giving you a sad respect. It's a little different. You know, Camille is one of these people who does such a shit job all season long. At the moment, she does the base level of an okay job. She gets like all the good job, Camilla's good job. She gets all the respect.

You're kidding! Yeah. When I was a kid, I pretended that I couldn't skip. Because we, like in PE, we were all having skipping class. Like, we were all learning to skip. And I was like, what? I can't skip because we, like in PE, we were all having skipping class, like we were all learning to skip. And I was like, what? I can't do it. And I was like, Ronnie, everyone can skip, but you.

And then I waited till everyone else turned and then I skipped properly. And they were like, yes, Ronnie. And it was like this huge parade they threw for me because I skipped once. And I was like, this is how to do it. You're like, you just need to play my song. Hit it, boys.

Skip, skip, skip to Maloo. Hogfinger! Surely, Vassy. So Ben, I don't care. Ben first was going to give me a little bit. Yeah, he started. And now it's bedtime. And so guess what happens?

They go to bed. Okay, I go to bed. And now it's 7 in the morning and Camille's wearing sunglasses. She's like, throw some sunglasses on and call the fucking day, am I right? Yeah, and she's like ironing shirts. And she's like, I got one more white shirt to iron and then everyone's gonna look spiffy and captain Sandy, I guess here's where say this and looks into the room and it goes, hey, proud of you. You proud of her, Alyssa, and Alyssa's like, very, very proud. It's like it's very exciting to see

any underthorough do more than just hunting and gathering. I feel like a person who's just driven up in a car and seen somebody who thinks that they just invented the wheel. Like I'm proud. Good job, babe. Hey, Alyssa, you enjoying this view to a kill? Just getting in the mood. Getting in the mood. So I didn't understand this part and I'm sure

it's inconsequential. But Frazier's with Rachel and he goes, where the lights up in this bitch. And she goes, thank you for making me laugh. Thank you. I don't get it either, but you're right. It was a pretty big plot point. I just was confused about the episode. I was like, where are the lights? In this bitch. And why are they so hilarious? So, Alyssa's like, um, let's see. So, Alyssa tells us, yeah, I see Camille working hard for the first time and I guess it gives me hope. So then it just cuts to Rachel going, eat me! I can wear that seven different languages. Hey, hey, all crew, all crew. We're gonna prepare to go off to the go off the dock. So, you know, if you happen to see someone in a tuxedo who's trying to get on this boat,

tell them they're gonna try a little, I gotta try a little harder, okay? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Madras back, Madras back. Madras back, Madras back. Dog. Oh, oh, oh, oh. So now it's, no. It's anchor up and Tony's like, now the community is in interior, we don't notice it. So I think it's okay.

We're fine. I was like, yeah, until someone takes away your juice before your maps. Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Exactly. So then So the anchors down. Yes. Well, oh actually before that freezer goes on to me like goes, all right, all right, Camille Just watch how I do things. There's a reason for why I do most things. You're gonna know that a lot So for instance, notice how I hold this glass, okay? Hands around the glass and what you don't do is you don't do jazz hands with both hands

while you're holding the glass. And look how it stays and doesn't break. Swing that stern sandy seesu. Pfft. All right, man, we don't make Sandy's name with the sandy seesu while we're letting go of the glass. All right. Focus.

Focus. Uh. So they're getting the anchor down. The three shackles in the water and Kitty goes, good thing I showered today. And we're all so it's like, oh, we're all thankful for that. Thank you. Yeah. So, uh, hey, so, uh, crew, you get into whites and now you go and grab the guests.

Okay. So, Frazier's Frazier then says, announced that they're going to have, we're going to allocate specific napkins for the champagne because we can't be taking them from the few sets that we have. I don't know why I wrote that down. I thought that was going to actually be a plot point like, oh no, we ran out of the specific napkins. We're the allocators specific napkins for the champagne. Well, you never know on this show, you know. So then the guests are coming off and they see the boat and she's like, come on, everybody, where's the smiles?

I want you guys to smile like James Bond. Let me picture, let me picture the most recent James Bond. What's his name again? He said his name. Daniel Craig. Let me just picture Daniel Craig smile. Oh God, please don't smile. Oh, now I remember, don't smile everyone.

This is a James Bond book. Okay, we have not fixed your tea. Okay, no smiles. Listen, I want to see those smiles. Don't keep them for your eyes only. Okay, come on now. Come on. All right, guys, you know what?

Do Pierce Brosnan smiles. Okay. We're just gonna skip bonds. Okay. So these guests are on Tinder and they're like hooking and wooing a lot. Like, yes, it's our hookah. I'm just kidding. They have the hookah out all the time.

So the captain's like, wow, what a way to arrive very James Bond. Yeah, you know what? The way it's like, I mean, that that famous James Bond movie where he shows up with Ahuka and says, I'm hungry. God. So classic. Octahuka. No time to Huka. Huka, another day, you only live twice. Am I right? So they're living hookah lights and They're like nice to meet you and Rachel's like I study there and she says hello and Hindi and they're like wow

Very terrible and she's like welcome to your tour and Then of course are going on the tour and one guy's like, oh is this the only spot we can do hookah? Because we like to do it different places. So if your Huka doesn't need wind, this is a good spot for Huka. I was like, see, this is a Huka person. Always worried about their fucking Huka. She's showing you the boat.

Call me or ask down, okay? You can Huka wherever the fuck you want, sir. I know. Yeah, so yeah, there's these two guys. It's Rahul and Vivek and they are not the primaries and they are all about being bossy and making demands. It's the classic, classic thing of the guests who is the most annoying person of all. And one of them goes, and this is my favorite kind of guest. Like when I was a waiter, this

was my favorite. I'm impressed, but not totally. Yeah, that was good. Oh, okay, yeah. That was difficult to do that. It could be better. So the famous New York thing, how was your meal? It had been better, it could be better.

It could be better. Could be better. Which actually I feel like in New York, in New York, Paralympos means, actually I liked it quite a bit. Yeah, it was really good. It was good, but I don't trust you to make it good again. Could be better, could be better.

It's just trying to motivate you to do better. So then Tony's outside going, oh, I need to drink some water. I'm going to get sick. So he's like a delicate flower at all times. And now the guests are all ready. They're like, with their want foods, we want foods, we want foods and everything.

And Alyssa's, we just see them just like ordering drink after drink after drink. And Alyssa's making all these drinks. And she's like, they seem demanding and they're drinking like fish. These guys are gonna like rip our baby asses apart. And ladies like, I want food, what time is lunch asses apart and ladies like I want food what time is lunch? I'm sorry, but I want food. I need food

What time is lunch and they're like here's the aftek I want food Nice deck kind of but not really can I have some food I'm starving And so Rachel's like well the guest spice level is quite high, which means murder sauce It's why you're screaming my name, and I don't mean a sexual way. And I thought, like, you know, we saw her put a whole bunch of the scotch bonnets in the blender, so I was like, well, that looks pretty spicy to me. What is the scotch bonnet? I don't know what that is.

Well, it's a type of pepper, or could be a bonnet you wear in your head that you got from Scotland, but most likely we're from anything doesn't sound hot. I'll show you that right now. It sounds like a good, it sounds like a fun old man who tells you stories with a red nose at a bar. Well, I can assure you, Scotchbonds are pretty damn spicy, but maybe this cast might say otherwise. you. Scotch bonds are pretty damn spicy, but maybe this cast might say otherwise. But I guess we're about to find out, eh? So Rachel's like, fish and cherry, so Mexican theme, that's my palate, and these guests have got a hot palate, murder sauce. So Ross sends Katie to get some swim gear, and Tony's like, um, well, I just got back, I just got back,

I just got back from eating, but there wasn't enough meat. There was only two pieces, so I hope you get to have some. Like Tony, you just went there and decimated all the meat for your protein. I know, that's what he was doing. And then shrouding it in this veil of like, oh man, I really care about you. I want, I hope you guys get to have,

I ate the last two pieces of meat, but I hope you get to have it someday because it was really, I had to eat a lot, I had to eat a lot because I work out. He's that sort of person that because he works out, he's like entitled to have more meat. He's entitled to have more of the food, like, well I got it because I work out a lot, guys, like duh.

Yeah. So then Cameron Frazier is setting the table and he's noticing that she's working hard because Camille's all of us on November, I mean, Camille is all of us on January 1st. We're like, oh my god, yes, look at me. I have a green shake. I've only eaten a fingernail for breakfast. This is a year. I finally do it. And then by noon you're like halfway through two dominoes for the price of one's initial. This is so chameleon.

So she's being chameleon actually. I was a child. She was me as a child. The chamele was when my parents like, you know what Ben, we're sending you to sleep way camp. And I thought I was like, well, if I do the dishes, they're gonna change their mind. So I like did all the dishes that day.

Like I was like so on top of it. and then by the next day I was like, never mind. Send me away. Fine, I'll go. So anyway, Fraser Cesar doing that. He's like, Camille is working harder and I feel it and I totally appreciate it. That's a lot of responsibility in oneself to realize you fucked up and then work harder. You know, if I did have the power to give a mad respect, I would, but that doesn't lie with me. Unfortunately, I just can only wonder what it must be like to have mad respect and be a kiddo.

respect and be a kiddo. So then Ross and Ben, Ross is like, all right, Tony, you know, look, we got to talk about your sense of urgency, you know, oh no, he's telling Ben about Tony. He's like, I mean, Tony, the sense of urgency, how do I care about meat? I care about you changing. All right, that's what I care about change. And Ben's like, well, it has to be that everyone works at the same level. Or you don't respect their work ethic. Hey, listen here, you're boning Camille. I don't think you have anything to say about anything. I think he just literally means like he doesn't need Tony to change as a person. He literally says, I

just need him to get changed so I can get changed next. That's like literally all he needs. And Tony is, of course, down there, like eating full meals, drinking water, doing push-ups, doing whatever he's doing, you know? So then the guests are all like dancing on the deck. They're having a great time. I mean, we don't know that these are really awful people just, yeah, we just know they're like ready to party, a little demanding.

We got that classic, you know, people who are not the primaries trying to act like their primaries But for all intents and purposes we think they're generally nice and they see Captain Sand and they're like oh Captain Sandi come down It's come down so thus so then Captain Sandi's like oh, I don't know this dance I don't know how to do this dance. I'm like really captain Sandi doesn't know how to do the Bollywood dance. What a shock Yeah, so she starts some weird twerking thing, which is something. And she goes, well, look at me. I can bust a move. Okay. I'm the fun captain. Why not have a fun dance party with the guests? You know, what am I going to do living a quantum of solace? No. You know, when it comes to making fun for the guests, the world is not enough. Okay, I, I'm going to give the world plus a twerk.

I'm here to party. Who brought a thunder ball? It's true. Hey, does anyone here have a golden gun? I heard there was a man with a golden gun here. You just want to see it, okay? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. They're like, I'm hungry. I am hungry. That same lady is like, I am so hungry. Do we get to eat? So, Frazier's like, am I gold? Three days of this are cannot deal with this. Hey, all crew, all crew, even though we just left the doctor come out here and I meet

you, put out all the toys. Guess what? We're going to go somewhere else. Okay, we're going to go back to the harbor. Everyone pull up that anchor. Um, so she goes, excellent work. And Ben says, say thank you, I'm sorry, thank you Katie's like I can't

Whoa Yeah, I have never heard somebody talk like their radio battery is low in real life That was an experience. Hey all crew all crew you know, we're trying to have a James Bond moment You're not gremlins so can we work on our radio voice? Thank you so much. Haha. Uh, so, you know, the lady's still like, I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Another all like, I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Feed me. Feed me. And the lady's like, I'm literally starving. And so then pale starts chanting, I am hungry.

I am hungry. I am hungry in patients, Fragers inside with Rachel. He's like, they're impatient. There's a lady screaming, I'm hungry. If you could imagine that. And it's actually commuting. So I probably should tell her to stop doing that. So Rachel's like, I mean, they've launched the late. I only had, but it's not.

So shut the fuck up. I mean, Chef Mode. So then they start I own it, but it's not. So shut the fuck up. I mean, chef mode. So then they start serving and for you serving some Mahi Mahi and then Vivek is like, I am starving and I need food, but I it's now. Right now. And so the Mahi Mahi is going around and then Rachel keeps giving these dishes to Camille to bring up

and since it's a Mexican lunch, they're Spanish, then the name is in Spanish and Camille does not know anything like she's Rachel's like, hey, you're some case if undead to bring up and she's like, Kesto Fondado, we're bringing up Kesto Fondado. Yeah, it's melted with hot and cheese. Melted one hot and cheese. What is it? And this is J's house like charred. Oh, charo pizza. This is a taco. It's fucking the taxi cab.

God. So immediately they taste it. And the guys like the fish is dry and pay else like, I don't like it. And another lady says, this is disgusting. Okay, you guys really, it's disgusting. Like, you're paying a lot of money. You have every right not to like something, but you're all gonna unanimously agree on disgusting. I know. But to be fair, they are also not being pitched

the food very well because Rachel makes a try tip and Camilla goes up there and goes, so this is a dry tip, dusted with a cumin. You guys, I hope you're enjoying your fondant, your churrito, and your Juan honk. Okay. Uh, here is a sad salad. Salsa. Salsa.

So one of them was like, oh oh my preference sheet, I wrote hot. I wrote eight in hot Which they said early in the preference meeting she preferred a seven in hot. So I like that she's exaggerating a point in her hot scale To Purgin spawned. So yeah, it's very the spy who loved me. So Rachel comes up and she's like, um is the homey that scotch mime and thoms and a lot of hot sauce is gonna be putting fucking hot water assholes everybody. And Kamna who's one of the primaries is like, well, we definitely like our food to be more spicy, more hot and more spicy. And this was very bland for me. Hey, hi Kamna, this is Patman Lakshmi.

I just want you to know, you're on Bravo now. So feel free to go in heart. So some recommendations I have is to say maybe, did you mean this to taste like a piece of cardboard, you stupid idiot, not famous person? Bye. Was my tongue not meant to feel anything when I ate this food?

Would you feel comfortable serving this food to my dear friend, Ali Wong. So, um, calmness, like the only thing I like is the Tari so that's bad. And other ladies like terrible. And she says, well, the only thing I want to sell it, I need a fresh plate. Girl, you think that was bad? Wait to sell it. I need a fresh plate. I see, girl, you think that was bad. Wait, wait until you ask for a fresh plate. Because that's not gonna happen.

I mean, would you like some shards of glass? Cause Camille can be right on that. Your server is Camille, okay. I know. So they get up and they go change. And someone says something looks amazing and they want to go stop over there. And so he's like, talk to the captain, talk to the captain.

And they're like, yes, look at the views. And other being really nice because, you know, God made this, God made this, God composed this one, right? So the beautiful mountain, beautiful peak could be better. I'm hungry. Yeah, they're ready to eat again. So now there's like lots of, um, there's like lots, it's like the water toys are out and everything and they're on the jet skis and Rahul, he has this moment where he's on the jet ski and he's like coming back to the boat,

like he's gonna like drop it off and get back on and then just as he gets the boat, he like switches out the other direction and he goes, I'll be back. I'm like great, great prankster. out the other direction, he goes, I'll be back. I'm like, great, great prankster. Great, great one. He sure got us. Oh, so Fraser compliments Camille again. He's like, you know, about babe, knowing your interior only makes it so much better. She's like, oh, yeah, it's better for me too. So, which is funny because I feel like most people say to Camille, seeing your interior makes me realize how terrible for person you are What's on the inside that counts and unfortunately it does count in the situation So the captain

Who cares so then Ross and Katie are lying down and he's like this is all we wanted and then she tells us work Ross is crazy we wanted and then she tells us work Ross is crazy, but we haven't had sex because he gets sloppy and drunken, he's on everybody and I can't have him like, oh, she goes and I can't be with him like that or I look like an idiot. You already look like a fucking idiot. It doesn't matter if a penis was inserted into a vagina maam, you already look like an idiot

for falling this guy around when he's treating you like yeah I think actually she would look like less of an idiot if she had sex with him because then she'd be like well I don't know if I can care he's a dog, but I'm horny and I want some I'd be like you know what? I respect that you know go get some but the fact that she's holding off like there's actually potential here But he the implication is that she's hanging around in the hope that he cleans up his act like that's the implication right? That's why she's doing this. That's where you look like an idiot, because he's not changing. Yeah, and he goes, oh, my out of the doghouse yet.

She's like, until next time, when we go out and you do it again. So that's what's worse. It's like just smart enough to know. You're smart enough to know. That's where it is. Just don't care. So then we see Alyssa and Camille and Aly and all this is like hey babe. Did you do cabin Spave? I think no goes uh-huh. Oh no she goes uh-huh. I can't hear anything on my radio today. Say

something because I'm getting like other people's chatter and not on else. There was like this really like scary gremlin that was on there. Did you hear that the gremlin did someone like put something in the water? I swear to God it was a Gremlin. And all this is like, yeah, doing my job to the fullest and then turning around and begging Kimi to do her job is suck a slap in the face. But to Kimi, she's like, Camille, Camille likes to seal Camille never peels Camille said toquila, I do it keel, looks bad and teal, can't be for real, you know, Jennifer B.E.L. I don't know, I'm just rhyming things with that saying babe to show you that I'm making

an effort. Oh, sorry, Katie just ran over my foot in her little corvette. This feels like, okay, I can hear that one. Well, she's back to the same attitude. Like, how am I supposed to manage someone who doesn't want to be managed? And then it gets to Camille. It gets to Camille staring at the giant globe going, I love these colors.

Camille and trans, but when we say that Camille is a very global person, it has nothing to do with anything about being world travels. She just looks at lobes. I mean, there's something that he's blue for the water. I mean, something. Artists. Wow.

So then Sandy, of course, sees Camille and says, hey, what are you doing now? And Camille goes, just standing by for service, hey, you know what? I'm really proud of you for turning it around. Just the way Daniel Craig did when he joined the James Bond franchise. Am I right? Casino Royale, what a movie. Hey, I don't want to fire you, okay? I don't want to do that. Camille is like, well, I don't want you to fire me. It's not fun for me. Okay, it's not. All right. Because you know, you know, what it is fun for me? Getting diamonds because they're forever. That was a morbid stretch. I'll admit it, but you know, it was either that or moon raker. And I don't know how we're getting moon raker

into this thing. Oh, show your stretch. Okay, Tony. You know what? You've got your six am. I don't need any more for you. So, Alyssa is at the bar and she's like, oh my God, these guests are gonna wear us down, but like I guess it's going well for day one. And Frazier's like, make your mama proud. Yeah, and so now the guests are gonna be, are like partying in the hot tub and everything.

And now Tony's on his phone in the room and he's saying, he's calling his mom. And he's like, oh, I'm just like really tired because like, we work these crazy hours and it's like so difficult and then we finish and then like, I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life after this. Oh wait, I just had an idea. Protein and working out. Okay, cool. So I got the next six years settled. Protein and working out. Okay, cool. So I got the next six years settled So now back with Katie and Ross Katie's like okay, so you know like I know that Tony's like tired all the time But maybe you should say to him like what's the need to wake up at like 4 a.m. to work out? And Ross is like Yes, I need to do something. I need to say something. Hey, another thing. Have you ever seen

one of your friends get put into a blender and destroyed that way? It's so traumatic. No, no, I'm. Friends with humans, not remnants. Oh, yeah, keep forgetting. I keep forgetting. Don't get me wet. You will be. Don't feed me after midnight. So the captain's like, oh wow, wait, Joe, well, I looked at your menu. It's only five items there. I see it. Yeah, I knocked one off the watermelon, which the captain, you know, would normally be like, excuse me, how did we back down in item? I think we need to call Mary time. Love about that. Quartet obsession. Done done. But you know what? I was a little sad to lose that watermelon because you know who did have a lot of mad respect for me. Gallagher. But you know what? It's a tough group. So I get it. No Gallagher.

So can I say something? Rachel's pairings are weird to be. So for lunch, she served chorizo and mahi-mahi, which sounds weird. And now she's serving clams and Spanish meatballs. This just sounds like a lot of toilet work happening. And isn't there Spanish chorizo in this one too? She did like, my skin chorizo during the day and Spanish in the evening or something. And she has made them into circles at night, I guess. So she's like,

dear God, please, please do you have me with me, please? And he's like, well, I'm quite happy, but these, you know, doing your balls have made my hands quite merely that I'm sexy enough for you. I mean, I'm having trouble with the sexual comments. I'm just making everything sexual. I'm just gonna see what sticks, which is sort of how I have my sexual life anyway.

So I'll then have a lesser time to freeze her and she's like, I just need to get over myself and forgive Camille Babe because like, for what's going on, for everything she's doing, I just have to move forward and he's like, well, it's not about forgiving anyone, it's about doing what you can do to get mad respect from Captain Sandy, which apparently I already have. So I just want to announce that. This morning, she told me how the golden pussy. My best days alive.

And also it's like, yeah, but for me, it is for forgiveness. Because like, if she's just, just like 10% harder, she'd be on everyone else's level. So like, how do we motivate her to get to that step? I know. You should walk right behind her saying babe a lot. Here's what we're going to do. Okay, this is how we're going to make Camille feel motivated. We're going to give lots of positive reinforcement, a path on the back and tell her, guess what? You are on her majesty's secret service and what you're doing. It's very important and you're doing a great job. That'll work. Well, she's performing, but her performance is like very performative. Like when she's in front of Frazier, she's misperfect,

and then the second she leaves, the specter day one. And it just seems like she's getting away with a lot. It's sad that like Camille's Camille's version of Miss Perfect is how she is in front of Frazier, because she's still pretty terrible. Like she's like, well, guess what? I made the bad. It's like, oh, Camille, will you actually just hung a fitted sheet around the Shandlea? but I understood what you were trying to go for. So good job anyway. But it's also because the way Frazier structured it, he's the chief stew, but he really is just delegated. He's like, okay, your second stew, you deal with everything, you know, because I feel like on any other season, she's kind of the chief stew

at this point, because she's constantly on Camille. And I feel like on any other season, they'd be like, you're not my boss. Like you're just the second stew, who cares, you know? So now it's time for dinner. It's like a birthday dinner. It's like a secret garden birthday dinner in like a table that we've never seen used before, by the way.

It's like a whole new table. It's a whole new mid-season table. You can't just like add that. So they go in and they're saying happy birthday and they guess it down. And they seem, at first they seem much happier. It's like, oh, this is really delicious. So you think, oh, it's one of these episodes

where they're really crabby at first, but then the second meal, they like a lot more. And it's a whole redemption arc. So I was like, okay, very nice. But then, I don't know if it was the clams, or the chorizo or whatever. Chorizo. The chorizo.

The like, Rahul is like, it's cold, it's not warm. And they're like, I don't like this. Do you have a paper napkin? I need a paper napkin. Please. And so they're like, okay, so for a chis like, well, she wants a paper napkin to spit it out in. So it goes all the way downstairs for whatever reason.

To get a paper napkin and brings it all the way back up. And she is kept it in her mouth the whole time. And then she's like, I know at that point, girl just, yeah. So she's like, am I mean to say that I've tasted one of the best foods and one of the worst foods here. Some things are amazing and some things are not. I guess you are a little mean for saying that. And Frazier is like, well, I'm not going to tell Rachel because with some gestural fighting fire and sometimes feedback is not worth the drama. And it cuts to Rachel going, oh yeah, I hope they tip well. Like, they can just kill it. Frazier goes, that's a secret between myself, the guests, and the trash can.

Hey babe, why are you telling Camille secrets? You said something about a trash can? So then they serve meatballs, or I guess these are the meatballs, right? And Cam was like, tastes like mutton. I was like, was that bad? I know. I'm not a good. I'm not a good man. I'm not a bad man. I'm not a bad man. I'm not a bad man. I'm gonna say, you know what?'m not good. I'm not. I'm not good. I'm not good.

I'm not. I'm not good. I'm going to say, you know what? Probably not good. But then finally they get something they like. There's like basically deep fried manchego in mushrooms and a girl is like, well, deep fried cheese and has deep fried and has cheese in it. So you can't go wrong.

So we found a sweet spot for these people. Deep fried cheese. Yeah. It's my pinatas. That's the way to go. So then Haley and Alyssa are working and Alyssa's like, oh my god, Frasier is on one, the guests are like horrible. And Haley's like, I've got a problem with everything, they're dickheads. At least not as good as dickheads. I'd jump right

on those dickheads if I had the chance for you know what I'm saying. It just regulates. Actually, I jump on heads as well. Hello, it's not nice. All right, just cut that all out. Just cut that all out. Oh, it's not nice. Instead of taking it apart. Yeah, that is not nice, yes. Although I do like that they brought giant deal deal.

That's a hooker. Oh, that explains all the burning I felt when I used it. OK. I was just going to say it was eight hot guys, because eight hoses just fucked me really nice So they're talking about tomorrow's picnic and Cam does like oh, I'm so excited for tomorrow's picnic and one of the guys goes yes, I want a good spot No rocks

Okay, you know right a letter to You know, write a letter to God, write a letter to God or whoever made the fuck a bitch. Sorry. Yeah, seriously. So now they're smoking hook upstairs and they're just being like party. They're just partying, getting drunk and we're like, I want in the next two minutes

all the crew right now, all the crew. And the list is like, well everybody's working, babe. Yeah. So it's fine. Give us cigars. So they start smoking cigars, right now all the crew and Alyssa's like, well everybody's working babe, yeah. So fine, give us cigars. So they start smoking cigars, but they're all smoking them backwards. So they all have a little sticker on the,

they're not smoking from the end of the little stickers. They're all doing the backward. They all look like idiots. Like just, it was great. It was actually a great, great moment. Yeah, Alyssa's like, it's so fucking funny to see these guests smoking their dick likes the guards backwards, balls deep in their mouths. So good. So they party and order

and order and order and order and order and order and Alyssa hates their guts. And she goes to bed at 3.40 in the morning and then 20 minutes later, Tony wakes up to start working out, which by the way, you know, the other thing that I hate about Tony doing this is that like it's not inconceivable for guests to actually be awake at 4 a.m. and he like goes out to the deck and is tank top and shorts and it's like dude, like this is, the deck is, it's not, you're, you're on charter. Like this is not your place that we're working out. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm not gonna make a marriage out. I just, I'm just, he's just such a fucking baby.

This is like an amount of entitlement. You know, it's like, this is his time to work out. If there happen to be guests up there, so be it. So the guests are like breaking glasses. They leave a total mess or stuff all over the place. And all this is like, I don't mind cleaning up for the guest, but like when you start to be rude, I will wipe my ass with your pillow

and just like put it back. These bitches need to leave. Yeah. Uh, don't put that in your resume though. I will say. Don't keep that part on the inside. So I'm the holly anchor and Ross is like, Tony, Tony, Tom to hold the anchor. And he's like, um, let me just breathe some fresh air before the cave.

Tony, get your ass down there. Go down there. Rosca's, oh, you're not ready. He's like, let me articulate this out loud for everyone to hear that Tony is not ready. And Tony goes, no, I'm going. I'm going. I'm going.

Ha big, y'all. Oh, I hope I don't have any meat burps. Oh, are you okay over there? Here you yawning. He's like, yeah, I hope I don't have any meat burps. Are you okay over there? Here you yawning. He's like, yeah, I'm just bored. He's like doing the anchor just announcing his board. So guess what? Anchor is in the pocket.

Anchor is in the pocket. Well done, everyone. Okay. Let's let's go somewhere. I want to make sure that we pass a go buy some fish and look, hey, look at that, look at that octopus there. She's a real, she's a real slutty octopus show on her pussy, her octopus, see there, I got there. I know I've already said it earlier this episode, but I felt like I wanted to go back. Okay, that's my always enjoying watching you hike around, you know? So Frasier comes downstairs and he reads a whiteboard and a list is written.

The guests were rude. I like, there's my report, the guest suck. So Cam's doing laundry and she's like, Oh my God, this is so cute. I love this dress. I, I cannot believe she didn't show up on deck wearing this dress. I know. I'm expecting her to be like, anybody want lunch? I know, just wearing a... I just did a quarterback. So, now Ross is talking to Tony. He's like, so, I just wanted to ask you about, you're saying you want feeling very well. He's like,

oh yeah, my sinus gets infected when I don't have enough protein. And when that happens, I get terrible headaches that can only be solved by loud working out. Well, I know you like to work out at 4 a.m. So maybe you'll tie it. He says, no, that's my life. It's my life. And I don't change up for anyone. I don't feel like anyone works faster than me. You ask me to pull eyes and you guys need two people and I do it by myself. And he's like, yes, well, your strength doesn't know any bounds, Tony. And we appreciate that. But if you need more sleep, and he's like, it won't make a difference because this is what keeps me sane. Yeah, he's like, it'll just be worse. And Ross goes, well, it would never, I would never want to

have this conversation for no reason. It's just wrapping this chat so we can work together because we want everyone to share the work load. And Tony is like, well, I mean, if you feel like I need to go faster, I can. I fully understand you. I'll do my best because it's just in the second part of the day, we need to keep pushing. No, I'm only living daylights. I appreciate that you're living daylights, but we need you living nightlights too.

And so he's like, okay, I want to be here, so I'm going to try. Basically. So Frazier and Haley, the guests were so re-twist last night, they're fucking horrible. They were saying to us about cigars. They were smoking them from the wrong way. I could fuck a cigar better than they could smoke one. I mean, what fucking morons are they? So now, Frazier's, the plan for today is this beach picnic, okay?

And they really want to go, Capna, Capna or Capna, I forget, she really wants to go as early as possible. So now they're going to start preparing for this. So Ross and Sandy get onto the, onto the tender and they start scouting out beaches. So the first one they look at, Sandy's like, oh no, this is not, this is not a James Bond beach. This is like a, this is like a Jack Tripper beach.

The total opposite, okay, we need James Bond right now. Oh gosh, what is this a Jack Ryan? A Jack Ryan beach. That's what I'm trying to say. I don't want anyone coming out of this Jack Ryan beach. I mean, that's free with prime. We've already got it needs to be more special. You know, it's funny about Jack Ryan and Daniel Craig. They could also be named Craig, Craig Daniel and Ryan Jack. Slat of first names. Oh, Jesus. Is this a reach or beach? No, I won't do that.

You know what that whole channel's becoming for dads? You know what that's one? This is spectacular. Now, that's a beach straight from Russia with love. Get over there. At first, I thought this was a beach only for kids, specifically spy kids. But you know what?

I think it's James Bondworthy now. So she picks the beach, which I was like, this is going to be a disaster, right? Well, they don't even go on to the beach. They just see it from afar. And she's like, oh, look, there's trees. Let's use it. That's it. I don't see any rocks.

Let's go there. So I don't care about the rocks that you got. I'm still, I'm still sandy from the block So Camille brings a guy shot and he goes I need a lime and so she brings him a lime and he goes this is actually an orange But it's not it's a lime So confused What is going on with this guy. So then they're getting ready for the beach thing, getting the right amount of tongs, and Frazier goes with Ross and Tony to take stuff to

the beach to get set up. And he's like, I just realized that just realizing something about the four wheel drive cars that are parked lined up close by to here in the stray dogs and the needles and the bottle caps. It's like the bottle caps and the orange syringe. But my lane doesn't say where we pick Nick, so wow, I've got to put lipstick on one hell of a pig. And so the guests are so excited to get to this beach, right? And they get there. And Alyssa walks onto the beach and she's like, it smells like animal food game.

Because there was a horse that was just there. Someone was just there on a horse. Now horse is peeping everywhere. This is one of the like the bottom five beaches they've ever been to in all. This is terrible. It's families everywhere, public parking, like kids running around, dogs running around,

horse is spiking running around. And so Rachel's like, um, Alyssa, everything should be a warm and fucking person for you. It's like babe, I just wanted to be warm and perfect for you. It's, it's just how they do it with a yachting, by the way, that they just go up to any old beach and decide this is where they want to have their, like, their, their lunches. Is it, or do you think that they like scout out, okay, here are the public beaches.

This is the one that we can use. It seems wild that they just like pluck a beach from an island just to be like, okay, we're going to eat here. Yeah, right? I mean, this is definitely, this is definitely the worst. And you can tell that the captain doesn't usually do this, you know? Yeah. So because usually they're like, let's find a private wine. You know, there's no one on that one. Let's go to that one. So Ross gets the tender, get fucking, A, he gets on the tender and leaves. And as he waves, he's like, God, I don't like them.

Please leave and don't come back. Oh no, this is Fraser. He's like, what a horrible group of people. He even don't come back. What a horrible group of people. He's just waving as they head off. So they get there and they're horrified. And I'm actually very much on their side with this. I'm on their side too. And I know it sounded actually like a really

foothier request like a beach with light sand but like the truth is that beach was really rocky and if you're barefoot that sucks like it's really unpleasant and it was and on top of that there really wasn't that much sand. It was just kind of like grassy. It was grassy and it was and I'm talking that there really wasn't that much sand it was just kind of like grassy it was grassy and it was just it was horrific yeah so they're like we're hungry we're hungry oh my god there's rocks here and so they're hungry they're hungry they're hungry and the guys like do we have to help ourselves and Rachel's like well we're gonna do our sides first and then we're doing either pink, or beef burger. And the lady's like, I don't like the beach,

but the view is beautiful because it's ocean. How could it not be? But the guy's like, there's rocks here. And meanwhile, a stray dog is just like wandering up to the table. Just like, not what you want, a stray dog. A stray dog comes over and then sits there, like sits at their table to beg. Well, then Tony starts like petting all a stray dog. A stray dog comes over and then sits there, like sits at their table to beg.

I like that. Well, the Tony starts petting all the stray dogs. I'm like, I don't know, fleas, rabies. I'm just not wanting my yachts to have to be petting the stray dogs. I'm encouraging them to stay there. Hmm. So they did not like this, right?

So then the captain, we cut to the boat and Haley is lying on a mass bench stretching her ankles in the air across from Captain Sandy who is also stretching her ankles in the air. They're lying down and she's like, what the fuck are we doing? Last time I did this, I was giving a night pack of ping pong balls first at least. I mean, what's the point of this? And Captain Sandyi's like, he got to do it or you won't be happy. Okay. Seen for real lately, probably not hasn't been putting his ankles in here. Okay. You know what, you got to make the time, you got to make the

time to do this because honestly, is gonna fly by just look at Ferrell Looking flying by he's not popular anymore. So I don't know for real may still be very popular for who will be mall on the boat I'm like why am I making statements about because I know I'm gonna get you know I'm gonna get Emails are like actually van Ferrell is very popular and he has a new album coming out. Yeah, for Relsa, this car right now, like, what the fuck? For real?

Fuck you. For else, just about just tweet out, you know, there's this great new podcast called, Watch Where Crappens, you all should listen. He's like, and the leech. How do they say I'm not popular anymore? So they're not happy with the beach. And one of the guys is like, I'm not happy.

There are so many beautiful spots in the world. I don't, the water even looks like a backwater. We asked for secluded. And you know, hate to say it on his side. On his side. And they're like, yeah, it looks like a campground. Like what the, I think I just saw Lauren Manzo, like leave a trailer mad that her brothers weren't being nice.

They're like, what the real the polka nose? What's going on? So um, so Rachel Rachel comes back to the boat and Sandy's like, he had to go Rachel. He won a stretch and she's like, Yeah, well, wow, the guests are happy. And I got back on the boat, I'm back on the shore. Everyone is so mad. Vivek is like, this is like the Jersey show. It's like garbage. It's total garbage. Yeah, total garbage.

And Camille, of course, is just like swimming in the ocean with the guests, not helping, really. She's just swimming around near them. And so. She's take shots to them in the water, but then she just stays with them and swims. And everyone else is cleaning up to go. Of course. So Alyssa's like, I'm going to go like whatever. So she leaves. She goes back to the boat. So now that they are decorating, now they're decorating for this big Bollywood party. And one of the guys radio's Frazier from the tender. And

he's like, Frazier, there's clothes in the master suite that need to be ironed for the night. And someone's like, we're going to a rock out with our socks out. So a list is like Frazier, Camille is swimming in the water and he goes, well, you could decorate. And he's like, I really don't know where I stand with Camille. They don't get along, but she's working so much fast. She's fucking swimming with the guests, dude. Come on. Yeah.

And also notably, when Alyssa gets on to the boat, and Frazier's like, well, you can help us decorate. Alyssa does not be like, hold on. Hold on one second. She's like, okay, you know, she just is like, this is my next task, which is notable for what happens soon. So yeah, and for the more communal sucks. So the guests are, the guests come back and say, hey, how was your barbecue? Did you enjoy the soft fine sand in your toes? And they're like, no, no like no it was rocky. It was rocking disgusting That's something we can't control isn't it

Just St. Lucia doesn't really have beaches. That feels like a lie That feels it's St. Lucia I'm like a beach isn't St. Lucia right now No, don't we're 115 in I don't care No St. Lucia right now. No, we're 115 in. I don't care. I'm just saying, no St. Lucia information allowed up to one of the guys. Okay, by the way, okay, no, no. Okay, I just literally did best beaches in St. Lucia

and I hit images and there's like a million gorgeous, white, sandy, fluffy beaches. Okay, now add pebble to the search to what happens. Pebble. Yeah, because he was like, there's Pebble. Well, there are Pebbles. What if it's just like Pebble's the singer? She's like, girlfriend.

It's Pebble, Fred Flintstone's daughter. It's both of them. She's like singing. She's singing a song on a dinosaur bun. There's other fish in the sea, girlfriend. So Ross and Frazier working in Frazier is like, I really wish we hadn't left Ben and Camille together on a beach, which of course Ben and Camille are sitting there looking at the sunset together, just relaxing and making out on the beach.

And he's basically really into her, but she's not, she's like, I mean, he's fine, he's here now. And she goes, do I look good right now? And he's like, look at Drowned Wret, you do. She's like, that's not the answer, Bay, Bay, Bay. Yeah. And yet it's the exact right answer because she is like a drowned rat.

Except that actually requires too much effort and I don't think she can even do that. So I feel like rats at least like move cheese places. Yeah. Rats can at least do proper food criticism, okay. They know what what hot can cheese is. I'll tell you that much. They can rats are really good at terrifying mice in London. Great mouse detective, anyone?

Rat again? Anyone? Anyone? So all the crew get into blanks. I'm done. I'm done. I took it to the great math detective. There's no more left in me. Oh, so all the crew gets into blacks and Ben and Camille finally fucking return. And Alyssa's like, does anybody need anything? And they order like 70,000 drinks, you know? And so Hayley's like, oh, hey, I have a welcome job for you, darling. Welcome back, job for you, darling. Camille. She says, I'm I can't right now. She's just a small one. She's not now. I need a second. No, this is like, it's just ironing. I need a second.

But that's it. It's just, that's it. It's just the job. It's just ironing. That's all babe. And it goes, Jesus Christ, this girl so fucking unaware. And he goes, look, I'm speechless. I'm speechless. I'm so speechless. I'm at incredibly holy ron now.

Be right back. And all this is like babe, what's the tune about? She says, oh my god, if you can't understand what the tune is about, just what I can take it to the captain, do it, just do it then fine. And she's like, wow, she stayed like with her boo literally the whole day and now she's mad. Meanwhile, Sandy is talking to Rachel and she goes, hey, Rachel, you want to hear my shower dilemma? I've had a shower, a cold shower every night, cold. And then this time, I turned the handle to the right and, you know, it was like a skyfall

of hot water. Finally figured it out. Oh, no, don't tell anyone. That's for your eyes only. Okay. Okay, if you know you, Dr. No. So then Camille comes back in and she's like, oh, and Alyssa, you're a child for that captain comment.

Absolutely child. Well, babe, you're a child for complaining. And if you want to keep it going, we can keep it going. I just said, give me a minute. No, you're like, I can't listen. Just what I can't. So now the guests are hearing it. And they're like, oh, and so he's like, oh, I don't know.

Let's move on. Let's move on. And Camille goes, I'm having a hard time moving on from what you're doing. You're furnishing who I am because you want to believe I'm somebody who, no, you're tarnishing yourself. You can, you ever prob with me for no goddamn reason, Alyssa. Yeah, but everyone has a problem with you and that's like why you're on your last like with the Captain babe.

I'm on my last like with the Captain. You're a fool on fucking a bully, Aly captain. You're a full on fucking a bully. Elizabeth you are full on. Oh my god. Lord Lord. Oh my god. I have a real view to a kill here. Oh, man. What's going on down here? Two crew members screaming at each other with the guest around board. Those are a couple of moons. I'm gonna rake across the earth. You know tomorrow never dies, but I hope this argument does. Oh my God. This is like Hannah with heroin in her tone, in her Tomasau, zero tolerance. Yes.

Oh, I thought you were gearing up for another bond reference there. And it's just zero, I was like, the zero tolerance, a new bond movie. I'm excited to see it. I hope you have a license to kill for that hair. Win for your toll. You know what? The spy who loved me told me once. No arguing in front of the guests. You're causing a specter. Hey, you only live twice, right? Y'all. Now listen here. I'm never going to say never again.

You'll stop this right now. And Camille's like, you're a fucking bully. I'm done. And that's how we end the episode today. Wow. How on the fuck did we talk for an hour and 20 minutes about this stupid ass episode? I'm not sure.

I think I blacked out for 35 of those minutes. I'm really up no idea. Somewhere like, I just got really hungry and I just seem like, you know what? Let's just say, let's just, just speaking Captain Sandy voice. But you know what, Ronnie, we got to the end of that and you know what I got to say for that? Mad respect. Mad respect. Mad respect. Doc. Mad respect. Doc.

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