Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: New Girl

Episode Date: December 5, 2018

There's a new girl being drooled all over on Below Deck, and Kate already hates her. YAY. This week's bonus covers the final reunion of Shahs of Sunset! To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail at www.CrappensMerch.com. You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardy-Dowardy! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.

Lagan Bird, you can't have a burger without the bird! Just saying, okay, no thing like Allison King. Back in the Slayer Taylor. Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson. Hava Nagila Weber. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Lisa Wallent, now that's what I call Wallentainment.

Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. Mina Kuchi, Kuchi, Kuchi. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Susie going toe to toe bin, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master, Shannon out of a cannonamp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a cramp, I'm not a There's so much that's bad things Hello and welcome to watch a crappin some podcast about all that crap We just love to talk about on yo bros. My name is Ronnie Ronnie Karam I'm also from the Rosepricks bachelor rest which comes back next month and here I am with the coolges Newly one day into his 40th year Mr. Ben Mandelker of the real house

wears of kitchen island on YouTube. Hello, Ben. Hi, let's go on. Not a whole heck of a lot. Just sitting here ready to talk about some below, Dick. It sure. Wow, a lot to talk about. Before we dive into that tomorrow,

or on this, who knows when you're listening to this, but on December 6th, tickets are going on sale for our Dallas show. We just announced a second Dallas show for February. The first ones hold out in like two days. So we've managed a finagle a second one. So if you missed out on the first one or you want to come to see more and more of us, go get your tickets.

They go on sale tomorrow. Go to watchcraftens.com for that. It'll be amazing. Do it. It'll be a fun time. Don't worry about going solo. You'll have to worry time. Then also we announced that we are going back to Irvine. We had a super, super fun time at the Irvine improv last year. Taco Bell came. They hands that on all sorts of tacos and all sorts of cool stuff. There was a truck. Everyone loves a truck. So we are going back to Irvine in May. So those tickets also go on sale tomorrow. So guys, go buy those tickets. Let's sell out these venues and have a huge party and celebrate all things Bravo and crap. And shall we?

Let's do that. Let's do it, everybody. I'm so excited for these shows. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. I love a live show. I thought this would get tiring doing these live shows. And it's not at all. I'm so excited to go to Nashville. I think we're doing a right just doing one or two a month. Yeah, although it's weird. I am like it's like, whoa, feels weird. We haven't done a live show in like, it's like in like two weeks. I know. You know, you could use to it. I mean, now we're doing it without laughter. And's like lamb. Okay. It's just so lamb it's on the name. But yeah, we got a lot of stuff planned and there are gonna be more announcements. Oh, and of course a hello

Hello, we have just for laughs in Vancouver. We just announced that yesterday So you gotta get the tickets for that one those go sale, which I believe those go on sale tomorrow. Also, I mean, everything is crazy. Just go to our website. We have everything there. Pre-sale tomorrow. Pre-sale tomorrow and the main sale goes on sale on Friday at jflnorthwest.com.

Yes, everybody. So let's do it together. Yeah. So this is below deck day, one of our favorite days of all time. We love, we love a good below deck day. Below deck day does continue to thrive despite the absence of Caroline. And maybe it's because she's not really gone. She has been all over social media just losing her damn mind all over the place. Have you been following? Oh my goodness. I mean, she has really tackled social media and she has tackled it in all the wrong ways. This poor girl, I mean, she has really tackled Socia Amadea and she has tackled it in all the wrong ways.

This poor girl, I mean, I actually genuinely feel bad for her. She, reality TV was not her ministry. She is in over her head. She cannot deal. She is self-combusting or she's just combusting or she's just destructing. Whatever she's doing, she is falling apart at the seams

to the point where like, she even like tried to troll Chrissy Teigen. And Chrissy Teigen was like, no, you can't troll me, I'm Chrissy Teigen. I was like, you need to step away for a second girl. You cannot troll the troll, okay? Can Chrissy Teigen can snark anybody's face off, okay? Even I'm not troll Chrissy Teigen.

No, no, definitely not, I'm scared of her. I'm scared, I'm scared that she hates us. Oh, she does. She does. So, we don't know that we're making that up. So, I'm just assuming it's just easier to come from a place of negativity, right?

If you come from a place like this person already hates us, if you hear this person hates you, then who cares? You already cried about it. You know what I mean? So that's where I'm at. So she tried to come for Chrissy Teigen and Chrissy's like, girl, listen, don't come for me. I wasn't even talking to you.

That tweet that you're responding to was a long time ago. I told Kate to have a nice show, whatever, who cares? I get where you're coming from. It's hard being on social media doing stupid things, I've done it before, people act like they know, like she actually was nice to her. Yeah, totally. And then Caroline was like, oh yeah, and she's on my side. You know, of course she totally takes it the wrong way. She just keeps going and then she was announcing, oh, I've gotten rid of Kate. You take my word for it.

She is now fired from below deck and all of this. And everyone's like, what are you talking about? Meanwhile, she's tagging the wrong bravo. She's not tagging at bravo TV. She's tagging TV by bravo, which is a bravo fan account. I mean, God bless her heart. Yeah, she's like, she's, you know, she posted, she's like, I'm not going to the reunion.

And like, I don't, she said something about Andy Cohen about like the self-easy post like, and then she started tweeting at Sirius XM. And I was like, would you please have me on because I need to tell my story. I need to have my story told. And I don't know if they ever responded, probably not. And then she, I think then after this whole Christy Deacon thing happened.

She was like, you know what? I've been thinking about it and if I'm invited I will accept my invitation to the reunion because I need to have my truth told. I need to tell my side of the story and I will do it. It's like, oh, you are a hero. I mean, like this poor girl, she is like fully unraveled and like she,, you are a hero. I mean, this poor girl, she is fully unraveled. And she, because probably in her mind, she thought it was a super abusive environment

and that the edit is not reflecting that. And now she looks crazy. And she's like, I'm telling you, this is how I want to tell you how it really is. But girl, no one really cares enough about how it really is. So the best part is- Well, we've seen her lie about it. We've already seen her on the show enough about how it really is. So like the best thing about it,

we've already seen her on the show lying about how things happened or telling you out of order and stuff like that. So we already know how you're twisting all this shit around. And also it's really, it's kind of, I mean, I'm sorry to say it, but it is like watching, you know, a cleaning lady get mad and saying

she was disrespected while she was cleaning it. I'm like, there is, there is that element to it too, where you're like, this is not a government job. a cleaning lady get mad and saying she was disrespected while she was cleaning her toilet. There is that element to it too, where you're like, this is not a government job. You know what I mean? You need to go to the side. Yeah, I just feel like, I wouldn't even say she's lying.

I think that she has a distorted view of reality, of her reality. And the truth is, it's like, you know what, it's like rather than make yourself look like a crazy person on Twitter, you should just be quiet and let, just sort of fade off into reality TV oblivion. Because right now, people are going to remember you for all the wrong reasons.

They should have remembered you as that sweet girl who didn't really know what she was doing and could not deal with the mean girls of Kate and Josiah. But instead, people are gonna remember her as the person who was on below deck who then so hard screaming at people on the internet and everyone was like, why are you doing that? That's what you're gonna be remembered as. Yeah, oh, bless your heart. And also for five more minutes. So keep riding that. That's how long that's going to be remembered anyway. So just keep, keep, keep, hang on tight, I guess, for the rest of your ride, girl. And this was filmed a while back. So it's funny that Kate Chastain's stride is not even

broken at all. She's just like, okay, now there's someone new to be shitty too. It's like that. It's hilariously consistent. So unless that girl has a nervous breakdown too and decides to like lose her marbles, then I guess we're going to see where we stand. But I will tell, won't it? My list of dumplings. Yeah, at least a van der Promp. I love you back on my TV.

Yeah. So let's talk about the latest episode, shall we. My heart was like the last Ten minutes my heart was beating because I was like oh my god. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen Ashton's gonna go overboard. I mean that we all knew it was gonna be safe at the very end But I was like once it could happen. I was like nervous. I was like I was like nervous and filled with anxiety and dread. I was like I was really into it. I mean, I'm not nervous because I see him like in his underwear all over Instagram.

So like, he's alive. You know what I mean? But there was a butt, speaking of butt, there was a butt shot in this episode, which I have graciously saved for you, Ben. Oh, I didn't even see the butt shot. Well, that's why I'm here darling, to keep pump running.

Was it from Ashton? Yes. I felt like this episode the producers were like, well, he almost drowned. So we're going to show you as many short list shots of Ashton as possible. I was sort of like a bond voyage to Ashton and his heroism, heroism.

Yeah. So thanks for that Ashton. They're like, this could be the last shot you've ever seen of Aston. These are the end of the purpose of the producer now. I'm the executive producer now. Look dramatic shot of Aston's sexy, unique ass. So, more less stun and more ass please. Thank you. You know what this yacht needs? It needs a giant clock in it and a pendulum. Nick and Lane, my show up at these. I'm sorry for having Lisa Vanderpump up in here but God I'm so glad she's back. I don't care what anybody says and I'm ready to go to battle.

Oh yeah and if you're wondering like where's the Vanderpump rules podcast, we are doing it tomorrow night in Nashville live in front of everyone. So thanks for your patience on that front. Yeah, so hold your horses. Okay, everybody. So the tense music that had a nice double meaning, by the way, Ronnie, nice double meaning there. What was it?

Seriously, seriously. Seriously. Seriously. So we start with tense music and Ross is like look at this knocky combat. I don't need to feed back Rale and she's like, then don, she's a special one. So then we're back at the waterfall. Yes, the guests are there. The tender arrives to get them and Adrian's like, finally, I was like, I really love this

second act of the season where Adrian is becoming a little bitch. Yeah. You know, people, people who do that much meditation and yoga sit can only hide it for so long and then you realize why they do all that stuff. Okay. There's a lot bubbling under that they're trying to constantly keep out, keep down all day long without using heroin. And you know what, good for you.

Yeah. And this show again is like really good. You can put someone pretty bland on a boat, but you know, you just keep a camera on them and just put them in high stress environments for a few weeks. They're gonna crack. So, you know, here we are. Adrian is suddenly turning into like a little snit and it's perfect. So the waterfall is going and the guest's like, come on Kate, come on. She's like, hmm, next time. Yeah, next time. Meanwhile, Josiah's, Josiah's like trying to like walk across a little river and like a fish swims by and he's like, oh, master pierced and I apologize. I was caught off guard. I should never happen again.

I'm here to get the piranha sir. again. I'm here to get the piranha sir. So Kate's like, I'm just I if you don't mind staying, I got a clean the chefs butt hurt before dinner. Okay, so I'm going to go back and do that. He's like, no problem, man. Oh, fish. Oh, tree. I tried to be so strong for Kate, and master Pearson, but the truth is I have a deep in grand fear of small fish, and it will always be the death of me. So the tinder goes back to the boat, and I don't even know why I write so many notes for this.

So here we are again, where I'm like tinder back to boat. Josiah, Ashton,, Josiah on way back. Thank you. Lee captain Lee captain Lee captain Lee. Oh, no, he goes. Why? Because the captain goes back to boat and he's like, all right, uh, Aston.

All right. You're on your way back. Thank you. And he goes, thank you, Lee captain, Captain Lee, Mr. Captain Lee. I'm sorry. I saw a fish at a rattle to me deeply. I gave myself a puzzle to work out over here. I know I really liked watching you listening to you walk your way through that.

Sorry everybody. You were trying to figure out whose voice was, it was like translating a Latin passage. It's like, oh, okay, that conjugation goes with that word, that accent goes with that word. It's dumbhole Latin over here. I don't even know what I've written down. Dumbho Latin. So the guests? Yeah, there's brain leaking out of my ear.

It's OK. We are very tired. So the guests decided that they want for that evening, they just want to do something simple, just like comfort food and the buffet style, like french fries and burgers. And Adrian's like, I'm not overly excited to spend my evening frying food, but just because it's comfort food doesn't mean it has to be basic. I was like, does he just know that Top Chef is back this week? Like is he just suddenly be? Cause this is such Top Chef talk right here, right?

Like he is suddenly like Padma has said something like chefs for this challenge you have to deep fry a shoe and feed it to Gale. He's like, I want to fry. And Gale's just in a bad pattern. Gale's the Nespresso pods on the back wall of the med, but yeah, she just stuck on that wall. Now I liked that the chef took this as a challenge to make fancier things, but, you know, according to the Food Network, Truffle Oil is basic. Like that is they hate that. They're over, even Ted from Choptates Truffle Oil, okay?

And he's just basic as they come. Wow, it's bad news when the Food Network is over something before Bravo is. Right. I mean, for years, it's been like two years. I think we saw that actually on one of the food network star, one of those, to like truffle oil. Bessac. Yeah.

People, there's been like a movement against truffle oil for the past few years. I actually think that Dana Cowan, the former head of Food and Wine magazine, I think she said that on top chef once. She's like, my pep pep, that a challenge, which was like foods that are so over and so like kale and bacon or overdone stuff. And she's like, my thing is truffle oil. If I never have to have truffle oil again, I'll be so happy. I have to say, I'm a fan of truffle oil. So I'm down for it. I don't care. Well,. Do you take your stand? I'm taking your stand. Yeah, you take it.

Truffle oil. Uh, so then, Russ and Riley, uh, That's a big brother captain Lee is like listening in. He's like, I have things to do. Wing. God damn person is. It's what the babies could ever come. We're seeing you tell him Ross had it with blinded that sort of nonsense.

Ross of the branch. Ross of the branch right now. What? Ross, get your candy ass up to the candy store. I'm gonna break it and remold it into something worthwhile, alright? You got me warm? So he comes up there and he's like, what was that on the radio? What was that goddamn buzzing on the radio?

She has stuff to do. What is that? Well, she has a really great make, I think, but she has an attitude that's a problem and I'm just gonna be very even killed about it and sit here and stare at you and agree with what you say. Well, that's not a good look for her. All right. Now this isn't some backwards fucking tugboat, right?

Can you just understand she needs to fall in line or leave? I got a lot of tickets to a lot of places and one of them is to tugboat land. You know what I'm saying? She's not a captain, not on this boat. You know what she is on this boat? And a princess babysitter. That's what you are Ross like but on patient with people is like yeah

Too much patience leads to a hospital full of dumb ass sick people who can't even walk right right buddy get on it By the way Something I noticed on this episode I really enjoy how that whenever Ross gets into a chair, whenever he sits down on like a bench or a chair, he does a full on like bobble head. Like he is like, have you ever noticed that? I think it's really true. I was going to jump in on your sentence, but I thought myself because I'm a charring

and say, is it that he puts his, he clasps his hands and then puts in between his legs and then kind of dangles them below his, like. Do you have you noticed that he does that? He does do that. He kind of shakes and like, he sits like Charlie Brown where he puts his legs, his hands between his legs and he's kind of hunched over. I'm like looking up at the camera like a little kid. Yeah, he has like a very ungraceful sit down motion, right?

Like he doesn't just like sit down. He's sort of like plops down and because he's plopping down, he's like then like plop down, bubble head, bubble head, hands between the thighs. Yeah. How weird that we both have Ross posture notes. Ross seating notes. Like I can imagine exactly how he would get into his chair on an airplane. Like he would not be like, I don't think he'd be like a grabber of a seat because he has

a good core so he doesn't need to do that. But I can see him like, first of all, you're on the aisle. He's always at the window, so he's like, sorry mate, I'm writing the, you're like, okay, so you get up and he's like, sorry mate. And then he gets any throws his bag down and then just pops down on the seat. You know, every single one of them. Yeah, and when you're the person behind him on your laptop or like your iPad is like kind of leaning up watching a movie, it falls down. Then you have to figure out how to bend down

under the seat to get it, because you're too chubby to fit in the seat. But then he sort of knows, so he turns around and you see one of his eyes, he was sort of about that mate, and you're like, no, it's fine, it's fine, it's only fine. It's like, okay, cool. And he like shakes his head. I thought I was ready to kill that person,

but then they said they're sorry, and my God, that really diffused this quickly. I'm gonna start losing it one day in public. Do I need to go see a doctor? And then you're like looking for the dongle and you're like being a, you're like, I'm gonna use that dongle day in public. Do I need to go see a doctor? And then you're like looking for the dongle and you're like being a, you're like, oh, there's that dongle, but you're being a little loud about it

because you're sort of annoyed because you only lost it because he did it. And then all of a sudden, like, he pushes the dongle through the two seats. He's like, I think I found this, is this what you were looking for? Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Thank you for that.

You're like, you kind of like laugh at each other and then you're both like, is he gay? And then he's like, is he gay? And then like at the kind of like laugh at each other and then you're both like, is he gay and then he's like a seat gay? And then like at the end of the flight, when it's time to get stuff out of the overhead compartment, you don't actually say anything to him, but you sort of do a smile like, I'm acknowledging that we talked three hours ago, but I'm not gonna say like have a good flight. So you give like a little smile like that and he goes, she is mate and you're like, ah, maybe I should have said something. Yeah, then you feel like a asshole. And then you're like, well, fuck him for saying something and then making me feel bad for not saying something.

You're like, fuck that guy. I hope he trips and falls and hurts himself or whatever. And then he helps some old lady with her bag. And you're like, God damn it, I'm a horrible person. And then you're like walking up the aisle to get off the plane and he's got like his bag. He's got like a backpack on. And then he like, like stumbles on something. And you're like, he's delaying me. And then he's like his bag, he's got a backpack on and then he stumbles on something

and you're like, he's delaying me. And then he's like, sorry, you go first and he ducks into the aisle and you're like, damn it, he's like being really nice. God, what a flight. Yeah, what a flight. So they're getting ready for dinner and the chef is like,

I was trained in French traditional French cuisine. So to make this more interesting, I'm gonna add French flair. Okay, so then, I'm already traditional French cuisine. So to make this more interesting, I'm gonna add French flair. Okay. So then, I've already called French fries. Okay. What else do you need to do?

Truffle oil. When in France, throw some Truffle oil at the president. So they are over at the table scape and just I was like, Jurassic Park realness on the tables, which I felt like was an odd to this podcast, even though it couldn't have been.

Yeah, well, the whole thing was a little bit of a nod because we like to always take time to reference the table scape. In this case, Kate put out her standard evening table scape pebbles, but then they added those dinosaur's, which I felt was actually like Josiah's way of saying, these remind me of Master P.S. and in all the lessons he has yet to teach me. He may be gone, but he's remembered through the dinosaur toys you're on the table by the pebbles. He may be just a man, but he is a superman who will be remembered longer than dinosaurs.

You know Kate, nature finds a way. assholes. You know, Kate. Nature finds a way. Kate's like, hmm, tell me about it. I got here from a piece of DNA that was burnt into a rock. Yeah, my mother was a piece of amber. What if Kate's mother was amber? Okay, so Ashton is watching the chef cook. And he's like, we're getting a new Steve, right? I can't wait to stick it in. And the chef's like, uh, yeah, new stew or a new chief's.

Oh, dude. You know what? I was thinking. I know. You can do it. I can't. You know what? I wasn't even drunk when I was doing.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Okay. You lead. I'm't even drunk when I was doing, I don't know what's wrong with me. Okay, you lead, I'm just gonna follow you. So they are basically all cleaning and getting ready and Josiah's like, I'm so tired right now, I'm exhausted, I can barely muster the stain to mock Caroline, remember her, what is the disaster? So basically, Adrian, his version of lobster mac and cheese

is that he makes big shells, and then he puts the lobster and like, best smells sauce in the shells, and then he serves them, and they're all like looking at it, like, I guess this is his version of comfort food, and then he serves up like a lamb's slide, or they're like, I wonder why lamb? And so you're like, oh no, the gas, you're gonna be so upset. But then Adrian comes up there, and he's like, how's your comfort food? Or is I like to call it shit food for up there and he's like, how's your comfort food? Or is I like to call it shit food for simple people? You're like, it's great, we love it.

Yeah, that was weird, because it looked like they didn't love it. It's his direction. Yeah, so also what I was gonna say in that earlier scene is this is where the chef starts setting up his hatred of Ashton. Yeah, this is a fun way to make him out of nowhere. Ashton is a snake. He's fun thing. Like making me out of nowhere. Ashton is a snake.

He's already waiting for the new girl, so he can snake her. He snakes all the new ones, you know? We're going to go out one night with her, and she's going to see him in action, and then she's going to be like, oh hell no. Like, I love the open relationship jealousy going on. I feel like if you already have a girlfriend,

you're not allowed to be jealous of like somebody who could be your mistress. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Also, I got really annoyed that he kept on saying snake instead of vulture because Ash and his vultureing the girls, not snaking them. So that was an important distinction for me to express to everyone. What's the difference with snakes choke him first?

I mean, what's the difference? No, a vulture goes and steals the shit. That's what a vulture does. But when you snake something, you're stealing it. Like when you snake something from someone, they call that stealing it. Or they call stealing stuff. I feel like a vulture.

I think a vulture is like a vulture eats remains. Like it goes after the dead thing. So when people say you vultures, it's like kicking somebody when they're down, you know? I'm gonna look at vulturing as a verb now. Because now, I'm not just circling look at Vulturing as a verb now. Because now, that is like... The Vultures are circling. The Vultures are circling.

It's like when Master Pius and stepped on that piece of glass and blood came out, the Vultures started to say... No, this is why... Yeah, that's exactly what Ash is doing. He's circling around. To Vulture is to circle around one's target as if one were a Vulture.

Rudy Vulture... Oh, this is the example on Wixionary. Rudy Vultured when asking the girl out. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah. I just like waiting to get your, oh, definition into the dictionary before we even started. I just, hey, that's not really crazy conspiracy theory that I'm totally do. I just feel like Vultures are better worth than Snake. That's all I'm saying. I just feel like

I would have been better expressed by the word Bulchers. Okay, well I'll go with you. You're 40 now. So, I know. I've joined your decade. So, so now that so now it's after dinner and like they had put out a whole slide because they're like, we want to get sliding under the stars. But now no one wants to out a whole slide because they're like we want to get sliding under the stars But now no one wants to go down the slide because they're all full But one girl does and she's like well anyone slide with me anyone Kate. Can you slide with me? She's like um I don't know how to swim I'm actually allergic to water. Yeah, I actually melt. I'm actually related to the wicked witch of the West

Yeah, just ask Caroline. She'll say the same melt. I'm actually related to the wicked witch of the West. Yeah. She was asked Caroline, she'll say the same thing. I drive shower. So I actually cry powder. It's time for commercial. It's time for raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night,

you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Alright, crap, it's commercial. So Kate goes to the crew, she's like, um, I just said I can't swim, so we'll just go down there. And the chef at Ross, of course, go for it. It's like, finally, this boat's not gonna smell like patulli for one night. I know.

The lady before she goes down the slide, she goes down the slide on her dress and Josiah watches, he goes, oh, he like puts his hand over his mouth. Like, what a terrible, terrible idea. It's so strange. I thought after Caroline left, we'd have nothing but wonderful decisions on this boat. This is horrifying.

Oh. Why is everybody going down the caroline? So they go slide. It's wacky and wild. And then Kate's doing dishes and just says like, Hello, I'm here to save Gotham from dirty dishes. She's like, you can go down now. You can go down. Yeah, I'm hashed. I tired. Yeah. So in the morning, Kate, I'm loving that they're inserting a little piece of Kate waking up every morning because it's always funny. This time she goes,

I hate this. I like that one. Kate wakes up. She wakes up like time lapse photography of a plant blooming. You know, I've seen that mushroom one, that time lapse of mushrooms growing or blooming. I'm sure I like I feel like I'm on planet earth, you know, they they always do it, you know, yeah, it's awesome. And they like drop like a skirt. It looks like a skirt. Yes, that's what that's how Kate wakes up time lapse mushroom. She's like, my spores are ready.

The time lapse Cheeto. No, she's like that, she's like that forest on planet earth where like at night it drops to, or it's like plants that like, there's a desert where at night it's like minus 45 degrees and they all like freeze over. And then in the morning it goes up to like 90 degrees. They're all like, ah, we're alive. That's what Kate is.

I'm a desert forest. I hate this. So then more cleaning, more cleaning, more cleaning. And then it's truffle scrambled eggs because, hey, once you, once you start a truffle journey, you never go back. Never. So, um, Riley is tired of being marginalized and doesn't feel bad about giving her opinion. So that's the news on that front. I have a boat in a knock, Dekal. And she doesn't feel bad speaking up. Yeah. So yo, it was funny is that when Josiah was serving those scrambled eggs,

I was like, huh, his hair looks different this today. And then Ash was like, did you do you here today, Josiah? Mm-hmm. He's like, no, I don't have hair spray. And I couldn't use the hairdryer because Master Kate would have been mokin' up. So instead, I just have to be like this, okay? Good day. The more hair spray you use, the more you hurt the ozone layer,

the harder it is for Master Pierce and to sew it up in his adulthood. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha I'm asking, I didn't ask for excuses. I asked for a bit of, he won't be the, he, he, he, okay? Because you get rid of one pain in the ass and you get a bigger pain in the ass. It's just how nature works. It is. Exactly. So Josiah, like, basically, it's like, all right, Josiah, I'm gonna need you to go down and do all the best. Like, already did them. She's like, oh my god. Just what I think I can't love Josiah anymore than I already do. I think he just gets that we're in this together. And he's such a thelma to my Louise, except we wouldn't drive off a cliff. That'd be more like Caroline. Caroline's just sort of like the car and the Grand Canyon. We're just filming Louise on the side. We're the people eating Cheetos on the rock watching the car pass going,

you're stupid. Why are you driving into a Grand Canyon? Why would you waste it? Literally a scarf to kill yourself. Why would you kill Brad Pitt? So then the captain's like, all right anchor anchor bring it in bring it in. I'm like, oh my god, this is when Austin dies. And he's like, all right, good job guys. I was like, wait a second. Come on, stop fucking with me. I know. So the guests leave.

They're like, we had a wonderful time. Bye. So they leave. And then Josiah and Kate retire to their quarters and just eat Cheetos in bed. And I'm like, is this funny that this is the entire interior crew now? Hmm. That's Cheetos. It would be my pleasure. Ah, crew, crew, crew, mass, mass, mass, crew, crew. And she's like, okay, okay. So they go to their crew meeting. And the captain's like, you guys mailed it. You're like a hooker and a Tahitian barcats is the guy I asked him. All right. Now you get 17 grand bucks. That's pretty good.

Kate, you did great. And she's like, that's a great tip. God, we should have fired two people a week this whole time. Yeah. Well, let me tell you something. There's no going out tonight. Because you know what? We're going to have a good old-fashioned barbecue. All right, let's throw some carolines on the grill and have a good day.

Oh, and then they're going to get to go to them a radion for their cast vacation day. Yeah. So we there's a new Stu coming, but we don't know who it is yet. And then there's a new deck hand coming. So Kate and Josiah go back to bed. And she's like, so is there a read asked a new girl to do the work because like she needs to earn a little bit of that day after she's going to get. Yeah. So he's like, absolutely. So speaking of the new girl, her name is Laura. She's a yoga instructor and she has good experience and Kate, because she gets like the information from the

captainly, basically gets her like this stuff. And you know, he's like, I'm concerned that she may be over experience. She's like,'s sort of like the stuff and you know, he's like I'm concerned that she may be over experience She's like, well, I rather have over experience not under experience or maybe it's the other way around but But so then Kate goes into the galley and she tells Adrian We have a new stew. She's Canadian yoga And it just walks away And it just walks away. It's just like, want a roommate? She's like, wow.

This person is like the other dish rack in this room. You, would you like a new roommate? He's like, mm-hmm. I'm hoping she's nice and bubbly and professional. After the last one, I can only hope. And then the new crew member, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Dora.

Here she comes, Laura with Raven Hair. She walks up and the guy I'm Laura and Josie. I was like, I'm Josie. Are you looking nice? How are you? Good. Let's get to the question. Welcome to the salon.

It's a little gold. It's a little tacky, don't you think? This is a test. And she goes, it's a little old. I was like, uh-oh. she's not going to fit in. I was like, I've been in yawning for about two and a half years now. So nice to be like I used to be like a chief stew. So I was like, oh, oh, I could like, we could already tell this is going to be a disaster. Yeah. She's like the last chief stew who trained me with

amazing. She was like the best chief's do that's ever been bored unto earth. So this should be great. She was the stash of liberty. So then, uh, okay, it's like, um, hello, nice to meet you. Your bio was blonde. So I thought you'd be blonde. Hmm. Look at that. So another resume liar. Yeah. Wow. And an agent's like, huh, she sounds like a valley girl. Aren't you really from Canada? It's like quiet Adrian. Get me annoying. Um, kind of that, that accent is universal.

I think that there's somebody in every country with that accent. Yeah, exactly. So, um, because they're now in the, they're in the crew mess and kids like, uh, okay, well, you're going to need to change into your uniform here. Let me take you to a room to change into. she goes smells skunky on here. I can't just like Looks around like is there a camera nearby that I can stare blankly into at the moment What can I say hmm So Kate takes her on a tour of the bus and Laura's like oh white carpet no and who made this bed in cake guys

us the two of us Two people who'll be talking about you behind your back for the rest of the charter. Thank you And she's like oh my god, and there's up. There's a glass stain on it. There's a Circular stain on this dresser and uh circular stain on this dresser EELD! Josiah is like, I've never met anyone who talks as much as Laura. Maybe she should shut up.

It makes me pine for the days when we had a broom for our thirds, do. Okay, those in the bathroom, we had a child on board. Master Pearson, his name is Master Pearson. Who? Amashed him literally says, I need to go do some push-ups. because he sees her and she's really cute. So Laura brings your happens. Introduce or Kate brings Laura up and introduces her and she's like, when people meet man, they tend to think I'm a

Ditz because of my Canadian accent, but I love to prove them wrong. Like whenever somebody says that on a reality show, it's always a fail. Yeah, also, Canadian accents do not equate to being a dits. Okay, that's like not a thing. And that's not a Canadian accent. That's like a valley girl accent. I've just never seen a girl who say, or anybody actually girl or a boy who says on a reality show,

I'm really smart, but I don't want anyone to think that that has actually turned out to be smart. Just as I was like, I don't think I've met anyone who talks as much as Laura. Maybe she should just shut up. Where are you not listening to me? You say that? I didn't hear it. Yeah, I don't know. I thought I was listening. Whoa.

Hey, I'm playing you. I'm rooting you. I'm rooting. That's okay. Listen, it's, listen, it's about time I did it to you for once. Because Lord knows it happens enough the other way. Truth. So anyway, Josiah says, I don't think I've met anyone who talks as much as Laura.

Maybe she should just shut the fuck up. Kidding. Kid. Mom, with you. Look, I'm rolling with my homies. So, um, we're going off to Cl cliff together. It was so funny earlier today. I was like, you know what? Like we need to have a new Lisa Kudrow movie. I just felt I felt very strong like what we haven't seen Lisa Kudrow for a second I want Lisa Kudrow and then when I was watching Laura I was like Laura's kind of like a Lisa Kudrow character. I felt like the gods were answering me. Well, I think that Laura seems like more

of a Lisa Kudrow kind of character. So anyway, I was thinking today, I feel like we haven't seen a Lisa Kudrow character in a while. Oh, okay. It's like, we're only gonna work another hour. Well, I was lucky enough to work for an excellent chief still. Now I can really come in and revamp an interior. I was like, oh my god, do you want to get murdered? What is wrong with you?

I was like, I'm so excited for what's gonna happen. This is just gonna be such a disaster. This will be clashed to the Titans right here. Cause Laura's like making badges. She's like ew, oh my God, why did they clean this? And Kate just goes into the bedroom and she's like, I'm just gonna say it. I think she's so fucking annoying.

She's basically like the reverse of a cheeto. She's just like the reverse of a cheeto. She's just like, drag Rennola. So they're all getting ready to go out for their party and the chef and Laura meet because they're new bunk mates. And he's like, so your yoga instructor is like, yeah, you guys do yoga because every evening she goes, what is this? She says a cockroach. She's like, ew!

What was it? I don't even know. I don't remember him showing her something. Yeah, he said that's a cockroach. I'm wondering if it was like a weed roach? I don't know. Oh, no. And she's like, ew!

I just know that it's time for the barbecue. And they're all like Adrian's cooking, he's grilling, and everyone's like hanging out and Nash is's like, say Laura, are you single? Are you taking? I was like, wow, we're, you're just jumping right into the workplace in appropriateness. I don't think it counts on below deck. I mean, we've wasted so much time being offended at things on below deck that just don't matter to below deck. Yeah, because then like a second later,

Adrian has like wearing a disco ball costume and he like goes up to Laura's like, like my balls, disco balls. Oh my good one. And Riley is so mad. Yeah, Riley is so mad that all the guys are drooling all over this girl. She's just like saran wrapping random things.

It's like, I'll be in here. Serran wrapping. I'm going to be pacing through the galley. Now that Adrian's not in, I can go in there. God damn it. So, so, so they're all like a bunch of them are like hanging out by the bar in the, in the salon. And Adrian's like, he's something he have to know about us. Sometimes we get a little mischievous, and sometimes we're looking naughty, but the other day an agent's like, yeah, here's mischievous, yeah.

We call him Octo Snake, because he's like a snake with eight heads who wants to eat all eight women at once. That's what he is, Octo Snake. He's a snake, an agent's just like, cock, cock, cock, cock, block us. Yeah, cock, cock called block and snake hunter. He's trying to embarrass me.

And it's not cool. Who cool someone to make hated snake, can't? Yeah. It's very sad. I'm like, Ash and you just bumped someone yesterday. Yeah. Oh, God, I'm so jealous. So Laura's cleaning a chick.

That's a mess. I just thought I just sound like people just don't clean. Like, I'm a doer. Okay. So I'm mask. I just don't understand my people just don't clean like I'm a doer Okay, so I'm doing I just don't like this. She's literally talking like Heather to bro now because I wasn't Heather to be like I'm a joiner. Okay. I'm a joiner. I'm a doer. I'm a doer. I'm a doer Shut up joiners doers self-proclaimed doers, okay Self-proc people who are like I'm a doer usually are also like an annoying or honestly, like don't

brag about what you're doing, that you're doing something. Okay. Yeah. It's not really a good way to get everyone on your side coming in and just calling your pribally lazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Batterther jobs. So then they all basically retire to their bedrooms and Ashton Ross. Ashton gives Ross a good night kissing hug, which was really sweet and sort of hot. Yeah, that was so for you that little scene. I know. I then one of them farted. Yeah, they're like, so the morning alarm goes off. It's a bitch day.

Mm hmm. Kids like, I'm so excited to have a day off or I don't have to wear a polyester polo and a squirt and ask people what they want to drink. And my polyester polo and squirt, I mean, Caroline and her neuroses. So I get in the van and she's like, well, we really chose the right van.

And the chef's like, oh, not you guys. She goes, I really look what I found. She's slipping him off. And it's like, oh, where was that. She's like, I really look what I found. She's slipping him off and it's like, oh, where was that? And one of my bags. Yeah, because in the other band, it's other band. It's Laura and Ashton Ross. And so Ashton's like, have it this, I'm going to lay down on you.

I'm just going to lay down on you. I'm just going to lay down on you. And you have a joint of space. Now, when you want, but you're hitting on my penis space, the other guy. All right. Now, we're getting friction. And Riley and the other van with Kate is

like so how's the new girl parting last night sir and Kate's like um I think she's a little wild and the chef goes uh she's a normal Canadian valley girl he's like now Riley I realize that we're sitting adjacent to each other and I'm just hoping that we can get to Lemurian without you aggressively putting the armrest down. Thank you Yeah, let's try and keep the seat stable everybody all right So they get to the Meridian and they're like Frollicking and Kate's like Anishas lounge and she's like I feel so at home old people on thunderstorms just like Florida. Yeah, perfect is like, I feel so at home, old people in thunderstorms, just like Florida, yeah, perfect.

When Ross is sleeping in the back seat, and when they get there, he has to get up. And Laura's like, when you nap like that, it makes you more tired. Oh, yeah, I'm sure none of the qualities that I hate the most in people who are like, don't take naps, that's counterproductive. Hey, how about you go fuck yourself, okay?

I just want to get from wine. Yeah, also like thanks for telling a grown-ass person what napping is like. I'm sure he is understood. I'm sure he understands what the consequences will be of him napping in the back seat of the van. I think he's got it. He's got it. Well, this is just how he says it. The chef is like, this speech club is amazing. We really need this as a crew as individuals as I was like what are you giving a speech? Just go have a fucking mind. All right. Oh, yeah. So yeah, Adrian, Lauren Adrian, they're talking about his dad and he's like, yeah, he just passed away. She's like, are you joking? You're joking me right now, right? Yeah, a really hilarious joke about mortality. And he's like, well, she goes, how old was he? And he says 80 and she goes, oh, so wow, so he was older.

Geez. I don't like that either. My dog died, not Bueller, Bueller so alive. But when Zena passed away, people are like, how old was she? Oh, she was old. Like, I get that she was old, okay? What is this like discount sympathy that you're giving me? Like, when I only get real sympathy,

my dog was younger, geez. Yeah, yeah. So then they're all sitting around. They go inside to, they like go to a table, and they're all sitting there having a meal or something, and Adrian's like like I'm making a dream catcher That's what I do. I'm just you know thoughtful and a loof and I like to look at bags blowing in the wind and Carry a little camera around and think about things in life, you know, and I was like wow

Oh my god. I'm like obsessed with his dream catcher like look He has a circle with strings. Okay, it's like of course you're making a dream catcher like look. He has a circle with strings. Okay, it's like, of course you're making a dream catcher. I'm obsessed. Adrian is awesome. He has like a lot of depth. I mean, I love and I can talk to people with no judgment. He's already called you in average Canadian Valley girl,

but you don't know that yet. So I'll just like, you live in your bubble. He's secretly the judgey of person on the crew, just so you know, but yeah, please enjoy that. So she's like, I just like to have fun. It's like, it's not that I like to, that not that I need to drink. I just, I don't even like drinking that much. I just love having fun. And they just cut to a key, just like, bulging eyes staring at Josiah like are you hearing this are you hearing this please take notes we're gonna talk about this later over Cheetos please please hear this here this chip Josiah please listen take this in right now the more says but your favorite ethnicity a food and

Kate just starts cracking up she's like hey hello, hello, well, hey, hello, well. Hey, I love low Asian or whatever she said. And then Laura's like, I'm not going to lie. I see clouds creeping over the hills over there. And kids like, I am going to lie. I'm having a great time. Then she just, I could just hear sunglasses. She's like, OK, I'm leaving. Good bye.

I'm just going to go anywhere. Instead of this, a shark around that wants to bite me like, okay, I'm leaving, goodbye. I'm just gonna go anywhere. If there's a shark around that wants to bite me on the leg, I will take that. I would prefer that than listening to this girl. And the words just looks off like, so Kate and Josiah walk off and she goes, Oh, it's a cat, hello cat. It's a hello cat.

Do you have big balls cat? Yes, do you have bigs Cat, giant balls. She could be our third stew. Ho ho ho ho. Our future third stew. So, meanwhile, so then, Laura and Ryan Ali go off in a kayak to just go kayaking and ask him, oh, I think I want to call him to kayak too. And so he like hops in a kayak and paddles out to their kayak, gets onto their kayak, and somehow gets

Riley into his old kayak, and he basically just hijacked the kayak. He snakes it, if you will. He ults her to it. Yeah, he totally bolts her to that kayak. Oh, he's beating the K. And then the chef is like simmering. He's like, hmm, see? Ashton's a snake. He just sees what he wants and goes for it. I was like, that's called ambition, not snake reaser.

What movie is this reminding me of where there's the girl deciding between the sensitive guy who's into poetry and non-meaning, like he doesn't like meaningless things. And then the guy who's the jock, I want to say reality bites bites but Ben still is not the jack is this like I don't know like pretty in pink like it's just like like night movie right now yeah um meanwhile Riley's like sewing herself a dress out of thrift store clothes yeah anybody so Riley is like oh wow the new lovebirds are double kayaking, sir. And the chef tells us, um, I just can't like fuck people. Um, like I just can't have sex without feeling things. It just can't just be boning.

I need an exchange of energy. And Roscoe's all can. Yeah, he has a battery. That's your energy. He's like, I can pretty much just have sex really quickly. I mean, look, he has Riley. Like I'll take Riley right now. Yeah, last night, I etched in my face and I came.

So, all right, we're just different that way, I guess. And then it just cuts the cake, just weak boarding in the shallows. She's just like so bored with this stupid activity, but she's like, I guess I do this. I just pretend I'm on my own little boat with no ridiculous crew around me. Oh look, a starfish. Hey, me, I found your starfish. Oh, she's not on here anymore. Well, I haven't told you this in a long time, see. You're boring. You're boring. This is, you're boring, me, I'm just said. Yeah, this is... I see some pebbles like... It's a little overrated. So then Laura's like on the beach now.

And she's sitting with Adrian and Ashton's like, Hi Laura! Hi Laura! Laura! And they look over and he just started doing extra per dance. She's like, it's like a terrible, terrible dad. Because she goes, oh, hey, yeah, keep doing that. Yeah, just keep doing it.

Adrian's like, he's a stripper. He's a former stripper. So, you know, it's a numbers game for him. Yeah. And she's when she walks up, she's just like, well, I'm waiting for the sun to chill out. Because last time I got burned and she goes, yeah, you know why? Because the ozone here is like so depleted.

Oh my God. I'm going to love this girl. This is a really good recast. Yeah, she, because she's like a disaster in a different way. Like, but I do love Adrian. I mean, bringing on that strong ozone game. I mean, I guess it was her who brought the ozone game. Either way, like when they look back on their on their courtship,

they'll be like, yeah, I knew it was love. When she just talked about the ozone being depleted. I'd like to invite global warming up to give a speech at our wedding. Thanks. Oh, God, looks like auto zone came. This was actually supposed to be reserved for Ozone. Sorry.

The pet boys are waiting outside just because they heard Auto Boys are coming. I mean, this is just getting out of hand, guys. So now they're heading back in their vans. And I guess this is when Ashton was lying on Lauren the vans. Sorry, I just had it out of place. So they're heading out and Adrian, like Adrian's with Kate and he's like Laura said that action has no chance and Kate goes false nothing she says is true Which is just a great dismissal like it's just a classic Kate dismissal I'm like no she's a terrible wench. She's full of lies

That's why her hair is so big So back on the boat. Ross is Ross telling this to Riley. I want to give you a back robe. Yeah, Ross is horny now. He's like, I'm going to pretend like I don't see that crazy tattoo on your thigh and I'm just going to look at your boobs. And that's good. I have my erection.

Let's proceed. So he follows her into her room and they make out and ask she's like, who's holy, holy, holy, holy, who's kissing in there? proceed. So he follows her into her room and they make out and asks him like who are you? He's kissing in there. And then asks him like they've gone from being at each other's threat to being at each other's threats. Nailed it. Nailed it. Nailed it. Speaking of Nailie, where's Laura?

Laura? You know what I realize also about Laura doesn't Laura look like everyone's Cousin that they haven't seen in four to six years. You know what I literally have a cousin And she's the daughter of Laura who looks just like her Yeah, it's like a like I just feel like we all have like I see her like oh, she looks like a cousin I have Who I haven't seen about four to six years. Yeah. And she's really pretty. She's like that pretty cousin who's like nice to you, but you know, she secretly hates you.

Yeah. And then you after you see her, you're like, we gotta hang out more. We got like, like, when next time you're in my town, we gotta hang out. And then you never, you don't see a firm four to six more years. Yeah. So Ross and Riley are flirting and all that. And then Ashton's like excited about it. And then Riley tells us, Paul, he's good looking.

I mean, I don't know. It's not a relationship, but I'm not. And then Ross tells Laura the other others. He's like, she just wanted to talk. Yeah. And then she's like, I want to talk Oh yeah And then chef is like I'm gonna meditate a bit About a world without snakes Hey, if anyone needs to catch any dreams tonight and I'm talking about you Laura you know what I find the dream catcher

to my pants You can grab it out So then they're cracking up that they're cracking up how Ashton is just going in for the kill with Laura. So they do go to the hot tub. Yeah. Yeah. They go to hot tub and Ashton is like, where I come from a brick in him. My parents divorced when I was five and so they're full. I have a whole time with relationships because I'm not going to get into relationships with them. I'll still future unless I and I've only if I can give a future to someone else so that's what I think.

And she's like, yeah. Yeah, me too. And he's like, I just want to be a value aid. I'm like, that's how people talk about Twitter followers. Yeah, that sounds like a marketing campaign. So yeah, so then Riley's talking about how she like Ross's kiss, etc. And Riley tells Josiah that Ross Kister and he goes, Hey, just the first sign of love.

And I hate Kate. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, Kate, Kate, news, let. Uh-huh. Gossip time. Get up. So in the morning he's like, get up. You get up.

You're like, not until you morning he's like get up. She's like you got out like not until you do But you are well, I'm not leaving until you do get out there Yeah So Riley and Ross. She's a little awkward. This is where she's like well, I didn't know who's gonna kiss me But I like the enemy it's our relationship. I just drunk. I'm making out With the yell at him later. Yeah, sir. Sir.

So we have our preference sheet meeting. We meet the new, we learn the new people. It's gonna be Brandy Coffee and her crazy girlfriend from Sarasota. And this is significant to me only because there's a woman in the group named Janet Wet Loffer. So I'm like already very interested in the group named Janet wetlofer. So I'm like already very interested in knowing everything about Janet wetlofer. They've requested

tequila at all times and we've got gluten free but otherwise basic. Oh wait Janet wetlofer also requested some yo play so we need to have that on board for her too. And possibly some boxed wine. She likes anything in a yellow or a blue box. Janet Wettlaw first. She would like some triskits. Do we have triskits just plain triskits? Janet Wettlaw first says she likes raisins thrown in dishes. She doesn't want to specify which ones.

She'll just trust you the surpriseer. Janet Wettlaw first, she also requests that whatever you make is fine and she'll eat it and she's not really that hungry anyway. So don't worry about her. She just wants a mill away for with a glass of water. If you can't find anything else. Janet Waddler just requests that it's after 11 o'clock and we just keep it down a little bit

because she just has having the worst jet lag. So then just I encade her gossiping and he's like, Rolls-Kissed Riley. And she's like, huh? Hey, is it just the alcohol? Or do you think when she's wiping windows? Or do you think when he's wiping the windows? She's like, yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was funny. And she's wiping windows, or do you think when he's wiping the windows? She's like, yes. Yes. Yeah, that was funny. I was like, well, she did like a watch or crap in his voice. So then is Tyler the decand? Yeah, Tyler, I almost feel bad for Tyler because he gets wedged in at the last second of the episode because clearly, you know, they have to have the ash and going overboard as the climax. And so there's not enough, normally,

Tyler would get a whole section, but he didn't get a, he just sort of shows up. And he's like, yeah, brah, I switched from sailing to yachting to broad my horizons, not to the money's better, because people who yacht have money. So if you're a deck hand, that makes you rich too, right? I see.

He's like, I'm really, I mean, look, clean cut now, but I'm really a stoner. And then they show a picture of him and he's like a total stoner, you know? Yeah. And Bradley's like, he, he, he, he, sir. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, yeah, my turn. Okay, it's like, Tyler seems nice, but Caroline seems nice too. So, Ashton and Tyler are talking and he's like, say, we from bruh, he's like, I'm from Washington state, but people just think I'm a surfer. And it's true. I want to make a living jumping out of planes and putting out forest fires because that shit is gnarly.

Ashen just is just staring at him like I didn't understand what's happening. Who puts forest fires out on the yachts? Everybody? Could we swap you out with someone with a vagina please? I have a latent erection and I don't want to waste it on you right now. May I fart in your face yes and no? Right, it was only one way to fit in on this crew. I'm going to dance in a way that my right hand is up and my left hand is down and now my left hand is up and my right hand is down. I'm basically making a little zigzag. Does that turn you on?

Then? Rise Tyler, Tyler, rise, rise, Tyler. The captain will see you now. And the captain, like, can I get some cheerios? Just like, hmm. Huh. OK. So the captain tells us, I get a good ride from that kid.

Dumb as a brick. Prickly is catting on the outside but smells kind of funny. And how the feeling he's just gonna put his head down to work. He's sort of like a human foam roller. Like not a lot going on but yet important when you need it. So Riley walks in on Tyler changing because they're gonna be, they're, they're mate, the bunk mates. And so Riley walks in on Tyler changing because they're going to be their, their mate, the bunk

mates. And so Riley walks in and he's like changing his shirt and she goes, oh, this is where it gets awkward, sir. Just kidding. And then she just stares at him. Well, he puts on the rest of his shirt. Just stares. So then Laura drops a tray of champagne glasses.

Just they all go down, like not even Caroline. Caroline dropped a few, but even Caroline could do a whole tray. And Kate hears it from the other room and she's like, rolls her eyes and just grabs a broom. Like she has the broom on her at all times. She's like, yeah, she just like puts her hand out and a broom flies from across the room into her hand.

They're welcome back Caroline. Yeah. So they go up there and she's like, so how many glasses do you drop? It's a towel. It's like lumpy. It's like how the towel was placed on here. It's like a lumpy towel. It's on properly. Yeah. It was like, I'm not ironed properly.

You guys are like, okay, here's a pro tip. And I use the word pro lightly, you know, giving you, giving you. So when you grab the champagne, just like, put your hand on it. Yeah, yeah, I only do that. Yeah, yeah, I just like to like, I don't know. And it's like, Kate's eyes are bulging like, um, well, clearly you didn't because if you did it, there wouldn't be the sharks of glass. Yeah.

So that was like, Master Pearson, no, no. Oh, good. He's not here. I'm getting flashbacks. Master Pearson isn't bleeding after this one, which means he's finally ready to move to the next level of training. Good. Very good. So the guests arrive and captain's like, welcome aboard. Let us get this party started. The Bangabas is pumping and all the music jumping New York

to San Francisco and every city we go. Kids like, that's going to tour that's a room that's a room that's room that's another room really fucking sick of this and you like no way for us what a loser. This is a room. This is a room. This is a room. This is an annoying person and this is another room.

Like no way for us. So now there's our to leave doc. This is a room, this is a room, this is a room, this is an annoying person, and this is another room. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh the start? Ross is like, oh, clap your finger, manoeuvre. And then the captain is like, Ross, you're gonna drop the tender. Gonna drop the tender. I'm gonna drop the tender. I'm dropping it spring line first. I'll drop the ball so far. It takes traction well at least. Yeah, and Assholes with Riley on the back there.

And they're bunch of like lines and cables. And Assholes like, all right, Riley, let me mansplain something to you. You have to be careful with the lines be careful with the lines Raleigh be careful the lines as like basically a line gets wrapped around his foot and essentially drags him overboard still like man overboard man overboard and Kathleen's like what and then there's like noise and screaming and like I could swear they dubbed in the Tahitian hooker going, oh my God. Yeah, someone said it.

Someone was like, what is drowning? Oh my God. Oh yeah. Oh my God. I'd be like, oh. Parts. And then it just goes black and says, do we continue it? And I was like fully rattled. I was like, I, parts. And then it just goes black and says, do we continue it?

And I was like fully rattled. I was like, I cannot, I can't, I can't, I, I, I, I, I, I, you will feel like a rattled like someone who's been snaked. That they wrote suddenly, Vulture, he mulled the, they took him into the water. Like I was totally Vulture after seeing that. I was, I was, I was rattled. I was rattled like a baby rattle. Oh, well, everybody, that brings us to the end of BulloDick.

Yeah. We are going to be in Nashville tomorrow night doing our Vanderpump rules season for me. I recap live with you. So we'll see you guys who are there. For those of you in other places, come see us live. We're going to be out all year. We're going to be in Dallas. We just had a second show February 8th. That's a Friday. It's gonna be a big one to go get your tickets

Yep, and also get your tickets for our newly announced show and Irvine Irvine. Hey, whoa Whoa go get ticket links and our merch and shirts and all that good stuff over at watch at crapens.com And until then guys ticket links and our merch and shirts and all that good stuff over at WatchItCrapins.com. And until then, guys! Bye everyone! Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

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