Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Pearls, Swine, and Juice

Episode Date: October 29, 2019

Kate gets a new Sexy Aunt title on this week's Below Deck, and Captain Lee owns an ass. For this week's very special Free to Be Joe and Tree bonus episode covering the super serious Watch What Happens Live Giudice interview, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Chapel Hill, Richmond, Tampa, Ft Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago (early and late show), NYC, St Louis, Philadelphia, Denver, Seattle, Los Angeles (The Crappies), Detroit, Columbus, Austin (late show added!) and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! The Bay Area Betches!

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The podcast about all of that crap we just love to talk about on Yeo Bros. I'm Ronny Carrom and here I am with Mr. Ben Mandelker. My co-host and a little friend. Ben, hi! Hi! Hi, how's it going? Everything's great over here. How you doing today, baby?

You know, just love and life, love and that below deck life. Oh, yeah, I guess he's going to Thailand right after we finish this recap. His name? Oh my god, in. Okay. Yes, I am. I am going to Thailand and I am praying my intestinal system, gastrointestinal system survives and you know what by the way I have to say one thing that makes me so happy is that we have crap ins listeners all around the world and

One person reached out to me on Instagram. I was like, hey, I'm from Atlanta and I live here any questions You need whatever like ask me which was just really great. It's just nice to have like that idea of like someone who I can ask. Can I have the ice and Thailand? Questions like that. So, you know, thanks, thanks everyone for being great people out there. Yeah. Well, that's going to be an amazing trip. While Ben is gone, I'm going to be talking with Danny Pellegrino and Miss Katie Kuzorla.

So join us for those guests. We're going to have a good time. And here are the lit. Okay. So join us for those guests. We're gonna have a good time. And here are the li- okay, so we have an announcement today. We're doing a live show in Birmingham, Alabama, everybody. Yeah, I've never been to Alabama, so I'm very excited to come down there. I've actually heard that Birmingham, Alabama, is on the up and up and actually very cool and has a burgeoning food scene, which makes since I think food and wine and all these I think scripts I don't know but a bunch of magazines relocated to down there as their headquarters. So I'm very excited to see what Birmingham's all about.

It's the night before our New Orleans show too. So that's going to be a crazy weekend all around. Yeah. So we the Patreon pre sale is right now for all the people who support us over there. So thank you for doing that, you guys. So if you're on Patreon, you can go right now and get those tickets. And everybody else, you can get those tickets on Friday, okay? And the tickets are gonna be available at 10 a.m. Central time.

So here is our list of upcoming shows because we're gonna be doing tons of shows this year. Like right now we're relaxing, but guess what? It's about time to go crazy. We are coming to now November's nets. And just in November, we're doing Tampa, Florida, Fort Lauderdale. We're going to be doing Real Housewives of New Jersey premiere in Tampa. And we're going to be doing Real Housewives of Dallas and Fort Lauderdale.

Both of those are just live show treasures. We love doing both of those shows live. There's so much fun. So come to those. We might have a special guest in Lauderdale. And then in also November, we'll be in Indianapolis and two shows in Chicago. One is sold out. We have a late night show 10 p.m. That is not sold out. So go get tickets for that. Then in just also in November, sorry, we're going to New York for two shows, both not sold out. So go get tickets for that. Then in just also in November, sorry, we're going to New York for two shows, both are sold out, but we'll see you guys there. And St. Louis in December, followed by Philadelphia two shows, Denver, Colorado, Seattle, Washington,

the 2020 coolton, crappy wolves in LA, then Detroit, Michigan, Columbus, Ohio, two shows in Austin, Texas, one is sold out, added one, so get your late show tickets. He used in Texas, New Orleans, Kansas, City, Omaha, and Salt Lake cities. So we're super excited to see all you guys across the country. We're loving this traveling around. Yeah, it is, it is so fun. And by the way, Ronnie, we might have a special guest for Tampa also, but nothing is confirmed. So I'm just letting people know there might be. Yeah.

So come either way, okay, Jerks? Yeah. You're the special guest. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. I'm really excited for all that. But let's talk about the most special guests of all, the ones who chartered a yacht in the

middle of Foucaix. Brandy, you drunk ass. Wow. Brandy is still okay. So last week, Brandy, the drunkard from this week or whatever, I think drugs because listen, we can all pound a few drinks and it's got to be something else because you know, when you pound drugs or pound drinks and then do drugs, then you can't sleep But you're so wasted, but you can't I would know it's yeah, well you will one day. I'll turn you to the dark side one day Well, see what happens when I go to Thailand. I'll get Ben Brandy'd one day, but yeah, I've seen this It's not pretty and I'm just grateful. It's not me. I mean, well

Well, someone someone actually found her Instagram and so I went on to it. And she posted Like a photo or maybe like a photo carousel from Thailand. And she was like She was like um, I have never used or abused drugs in my life. I had a panic attack And it was terrifying. It lasted for three days blah blah blah blah blah blah I'm not that focused on all the negativity out there. Let's focus on the positivity. And here is here are photos from the trip. And it's like her, like, listen, I totally respect panic attacks, et cetera. Girl, you were downing that champagne. Yeah, it's you were a fuck up stop lying and stop trying to use mental things as your excuse because that hurts people who actually suffer from shit That you're just using as an excuse to be a drug, you know a drunk idiot. So also on that note

You're already blessed no one's focusing on the negative Randy, okay? We're focusing on the positive which is you can afford an endless supply of drugs. So yeah, congratulations Well done you worked hard do all the drugs you want. Yeah. And honestly, I respect her ability to get just totally should faced and still take the time to put on a big sloppy dark lip. I think that's like really impressive. So, you know, not everyone has that skill. So we end with, we begin with last week's ending, which is Brandy just on the ground, hyperventilating and freaking out the sun. So they put it on the canoe or something to use as a gurney. And Helen is just complaining, this is my vacation. This is my vacation. I cannot believe

her. Yeah. She has done let it impact your time because this is my vacation. Gluttony is what destroys you, which again supports my theory that they were a group of friends and then the producers were like, here, we're gonna give you this girl brandy too, to tag along onto your charter because we want her, but we need to group. And she's just like, fuck this girl. I don't even know her and she's wasted

and she's ruining my charter. Yeah, so she is freaking out. She's on a kayak and then what are the guests just goes, Kate, can I have some ice? Kate's like, yeah. That's why I love these guests. Their friends are being carried off from medical crisis.

And they're like, can we drink more? Thanks. Yeah. Also Brandi is on this like tender. And she is like, her mouth is doing this. We were like, she looks like a baby that was just born and is like taking its first breath and like is trying to figure out this world around her

She's having she's been born onto a kayak a trans parent kayak So Helen is still in her tiara, which is hilarious. She never takes it off So they go back to the boat and Simone is guess what Simone's doing laundry case. Simone's doing fucking laundry still poor Simone. Yeah, but she sort of brought on herself because she spent the first four episodes of the season saying, you know what I really love doing is laundry. I love laundry. This is so fun. I can't believe Courtney, you don't even like doing laundry because it is the most fun thing I've ever done in my life.

I actually prefer being down here doing laundry and now she's like, Oh, now I'm doing laundry. Well, that's just that's what I always say and people should listen. Don't be a positive person. It just bites you in the ass, you know, if someone does something to you and you're positive and happy about it and just get over it, they just keep doing it to you. You need to be negative and tell them to go fuck themselves. Okay. Don't go. Failing upwards. Yeah. Upwards. You don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by.

Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by.

Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by.

Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. Don't go by. and all that stuff because she's downstairs and she's way from Kevin, who even though they hugged and he apologized to her, she's still like not. She doesn't, she's still like bruised a little bit because she got bullied as a kid. So when he said that breakfast service is not rocket science, it like took her back to a childhood trauma of rocket science perhaps.

Yes, her people just being like, come on. Dollhouse is, it's not rocket science, Simone. God, Simone, come on, running the track at PE. It's not rocket science, Simone. They're telling me it's a Timmy broken science. It's, it's, I was bullied. So, um, so now, so eventually, so they basically, um, Brandy is like, they put her in her room and she's lying there on Captain Lee's sort of Sitting next to her and Courtney is like stuck having to wait on them all so she just has to be there on Brandy Doodish like You know what I could use right now a seafood tower towers

Say food. That's what I could use right now. So like um Courtney Courtney Simone Courtney Simone. Can you take care of the guests? I'm sitting here staring at the captain awkwardly cuddle a drunk zombie baby. Watching the captives sit there and kind of craddle, Bradby is both cute and disturbing. I'm not really sure how to take that. I thought it was more cute, but I was scared for him. I was like, I don't want him to get zombified also. So now the women who are pinniguing on the beach, they take the tender back and they're back on the boat and captain leaves like, well, we got a medic on the way to check her out.

Well, the woman goes, you think she's that bad? I'm like, bitch, did you see what? Did you see? You saw her? Yeah, she got dragged home with a kayak. And then the helicopter goes, oh, they know, they know. I mean, look at him. He knows God of the sea. God of the sea was the God of the sea. God of the, man, they really should come up

with a name for the God of the sea. Maybe something like, nap, nap, time, nap time. I'm gonna come up with something. We'll figure it out. We're gonna workshop that. Well, I don't look the mother you're the God of the sea or just the God of this God damn boat. Let me tell you something. I'm in charge of every swinging dick on this boat and I gotta make sure safety first because you look away for one minute and a shark jumps out and bites your head off and I don't want anyone to violate any rules and make things on say, hey, hey, abs, your hair's up.

Here's a, abs. Get your hair up. God damn it. I'm in charge of every swinging dick on this. Get those swinging dicks up, abs. Get your swinging dick dicks up. So then Tanner and Kate are cleaning up. And Tanner comes over and they're stalling the beach.

And Tanner comes over and he's like, hey, Kate What do you think what do you think? Later we share a bottle of wine when this is all over and she's like, um, I think that's so rude. I want my own bottle All right So you're singing a gotta chance, huh? Kate's sort of like your friends aunt. She's sexy and beautiful. You never know. You got to roll the dice. That's right. Have you met Aunt Tibi? She's just wonderful and she's newly single ever since her husband left us, you know, since I didn't sit in ten Applebees. Don't want to bring it up. Don't put your dick in anti-cake, Golly.

I can't anti-k, callee. So the lady who was passed out on the deck, not Brandy, but the other one when they were trying to leave was passed out on the floor of the deck. She comes up to Kevin and say, uh, thanks for lunch, Kevin. I mean, I didn't get to eat it because I was still queasy, but thanks anyway. And he's like, last month's extravaganza was mediocre, but Stantus has set so hard for myself. Gotta step it up. Stanta's has set so hard for myself. Gotta step it up. Stanta's are so high. I've been in yachting for ya. Like shut up. And he was saying like, yeah, the seafood extravaganza was a bit mediocre.

And then we got a flashback of the coordinates saying my favorite thing. If I were having a seafood extravaganza, I would want towers of seafood, all of it, three towers, all at once. Oh, Courtney, I'm enjoying Courtney more than I would. I love her. I thought I was going to be Courtney. But everything she says is something that I would say. So people are putting shit away and Abby still has her hair down. And Cap's like, I asked him, come on, abs in the hair. Look, I said kiddo, all right.

She's about to get a plane ticket. Yeah, she's, yeah, she's rare gonna give her one way ticket to hair up bill. If you know what I'm saying, she can't buy her ticket. That girl may have been the paradise, but she's never been to scrunchy. I'll saying, she can't. I was gonna get it. Take it, that girl may have been the paradise, but she's never been to scrunchy. I'll tell you that right now. So Abby, the reason why her hair is down is because she gave her elastic to Brandy.

So of course, Brandy somehow impacts this as well. And you know that Brandy lost out elastic too. As a brandy, you know. They're just gonna blame Brandy for everything. Yeah, so this, oh, sorry. I don't even know what I was gonna say. I was just opening my mouth because it felt like it was time. It was time.

It could have just been a, ah, maybe that's all it was, I don't know. Yeah, no. So Dr. Chuchiyot comes on board to check in on Brandy and he sits down and he's like, by her inspecting her, examining her and he's like so how old are you she goes I'm good He says do you have any history I'm fine and fine and kids like I'm just glad she's breathing So he goes have you been drinking and she said yeah well for how many days? two weeks Yeah, yeah girl just champagne for two weeks.

Okay. He's like, okay, so you should probably drink a lot of juice right now. That's what you just do. So he goes upstairs and like the guests are like, so, like, what's the deal? He's like, oh, she drink too much champagne. They all like, well, we could have told you that. And then they all just start laughing including a doctor So then Tanner you soon Dr. Yeah, yeah, so then Tanner is talking to Simone in the mess and she just keeps laughing it in because of his accent And he's like yeah, you know, we went out today

We got boils on a feed because scabs on a cratch is you know, I bought a leaking. We don't know why We got boils on the feet because scabs on the crutches, you know, I bought to leaking. We don't know why. I'm like, oh Just cracking up And it's like, you know what you want to get white girl wasted tomorrow. Come on. Let's do it. Let's do it All right anytime you need a giggle. I'll be a giggle kind of sore all right Yeah, and meanwhile he's he's going his Chatting extensively with Simone and Ash had to come and said, hey, can you go help Brian with this take the slide down? And Tanner was like, yeah, I'll do that. I'm done eating this cereal I'm having right now. But while he's sitting there talking with Simone, Brian

is trying to bring the slide up by himself. So he's using this thing called the the David. It's like basically a hook or a crane. And so he's like pulling it up and then he messes, he like pulls, he uses it incorrectly and the David essentially breaks because I think the show is implying because Tanner is spending too much time talking instead of helping out. Which you didn't even get called on. So look at that.

We got all that story and then nothing even came to fruition guys. What the hell, so? Yeah, so Brian walks up to Captain Lee's little office and he's like, eh, Captain Lee, I'm sorry to tell you this. I really fucked up. I was bringing up the sloyed and to the angle. I didn't see it and I broke through the deck.

I kind of messed up the david. I'm kind of totally else. You're kind of messed it up. How do you kind of messed it up? That's kind of, that's like kind of putting your hair up. You know that one kiddo? You like that one kiddo That one's for you. Yeah. That one's for you. So you let me let me guess. Right. You were lifting a slide up and the cable came out of the roller. Huh? Well, actually, yes. That's exactly what God damn it. It's going to be an expensive

mistake. It's going to be a lot of work to be very expensive. The only thing harder would be I don't know like going to a bar and saying, Hey, how about I give you my shirt for your shirt? Let's see you try to do that one, huh? See if you can pull that one off. Ah, you did it kiddo. Well done. Good job. You know, I appreciate brand bringing this to my attention, but this falls on action shoulders. It's his department. Make it work. And wow, please go to project runway. Please. So this silhouette that you're working with here. So I want to know, I want to know something about this silhouette. Can it access orbits because it needs a one-way ticket out of this room right now. Hey, yo, hey, yo. Yeah, that's silhouette that toilet paper silhouette. God, I was like dragging my dick through pine needles, safety pins, porn lemon juice on it, stopping on it with a cowboy boot, putting it on a Southwest listen up. Okay. I'm in charge and each and every one of you fashion dicks in here. And let me say right now there's a lot of pins a lot of machines you can get real injured remember has to print from last season.

Well, guess what? She ran a needle right to her finger. I'm not having that happen on my watch. So if you just have to put out a toga, then that's so be it. No pins, no scissors, gloves, all times. Otherwise, you get a one way ticket to Plano down for me that god damn it So then Kate is checking on Brandy. She's like, um, okay, and Brandy's like Okay, okay, then I'm just gonna leave your room now And then little good best part of the best part about that is when she asked Brandi how she's doing Brandi is like Are you okay? Okay, cuz I'm good. Thanks for asking just like the smile like oh this bitch is gonna ask if I'm good Oh, I can't wait to tell Josiah. I think I called Josiah. Josiah. Jeremiah last week. I apologize. His name is Josiah. Oh

Man poor guy. I just I Sorry, what's wrong with your eye? Oh, it's not on the show, you know, it's like when you're picked off a TV show, what happens to you? If a if a Josiah falls in a forest, but nobody's there to watch it on TV, did he really fall? He's probably standing at attention somewhere with like a bag of Cheetos waiting for Kate to come by so that he can share it with her. He's like, I won't open these

until I find I get a poof of from Kate I'll stand here with Cheetos under a close until Kate passes by Master Pearson will tell me what to do next And until then I shall stand here and wait for his word So Kevin is kicking kicking Kevin is cooking and Basically timing stuff out with Kate for dinner and the captain is gonna be sitting tonight for dinner. Dun, dun, dun. Then captain calls Ashton and who else to the wheelhouse?

Oh, just Ashton. Ashton, Ashton. Ashton, Ashton, Ashton. Lee, can I get you to the wheelhouse goddamn, and all right? So he comes up and I was like, so you didn't catch him before he made that massive fuck up, eh? That's scrunchy level fuck ups right now. That is non scrunchy level fuck ups. You just reached their

kid. Congratulations kiddo. Difficult and expensive repairer. And we will not tolerate fools here. Okay. So with that being said, we will not tolerate fools. Let's go see what your deck hand is doing and how she's struggling with the concept of a uniform Yeah, Abby's just so mad she has to keep changing clothes She's like God uniform to hate them. You wear t-shirt You wear another t-shirt and you put on another shirt and you put on a different shirt. This is not voting. This is bullshit She really would not make it a very foreign Broadway. I'll tell you that much. What, I have to change.

Does a quick change? I just give you attitude to every wardrobe department. By the way, we should. She's like bottling. It's like, ah, nah, nah, I don't really like changing clothes. Like, uh, you're a bottle of clothes. OK, then we'll tell you something, everyone. All right, they won't put away their scissors because they're dangerous.

One second, you're so in with your fingers. And next second, you've got four, four less fingers. Okay, you're we're sending in your models and just want to remind her, Abby will not wear your clothing. So just work with that. They're all fighting over Abby is the model. So, so Kevin is cooking. By the way, he's cooking these prawns and he's like, I've done these prawns so many times

and it's taken the pants off of many women I've made it for. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm kidding. I took the pants off them. Oh, Kevin. You know, I've tried to like Kevin because I like people who can make me things. Well, he looks like he's a really good chef, but he's an

asshole and he's got a huge entitlement situation and I do not approve of it. I'll tell you one thing though, ever since that scene last week with Ashton and Brian, pushing that, that the, the tender or whatever it was off those rocks, I would like, I sort of am like, like my heart skips a beat when they come on screen. I'm like, that, that's he really did something those rocks. I'm like, I sort of am like, like my heart skips a beat when they come on screen.

I'm like, that's, that's he really did something to me. I'm like, am I, am I trying to do action now? I mean, like Brian was always hot. And I know a lot of people think actions hop, and I'm like, did I just get converted to actionism? Just people with muscles, you know? That's the problem with people with muscles, because you get attracted to the muscles,

but then no one keeps it. Well, some people keep their muscles forever, but in general, you know, you get attracted to the muscles, but then no one keeps it. Well, some people keep their muscles forever, but in general, you get married, you find somebody, then you just get fat like everybody else. And so then you have to do, you have to imagine the person what they're gonna look like after you fed them a lot. You know, you have to look at a person

and imagine what they're gonna look like when they're happy and secure with them. I know, I mean, if hard couldn't make it, then I don't know if there's hope for any of us. Yeah. Arnold. Let's think about that for a second. Yeah.

Everybody take a moment. Let's take a moment. Moment of silence. So we're silenced for Arnold's T2 body. So, um, uh, which I also had a crush on back in sixth grade. So, uh, anyway, uh, so Ashton and, yeah, Ashton basically tells Brian that he wants to stay in the loop on things, etc. because it looks really bad when the captain calls him up to the wheelhouse,

and he has no idea that the dab at even broke or that they even have something called a dab at. So then, meanwhile, Kate is with the stews, and she's like, because Courtney says she's like, she asked for something over the radio, and Kate's like, oh my god, Courtney, you're radio voice. It's like so sweet. It's like, hi, I'm Courtney. And she's like, oh my god, Kate, no, I hate that. My mother has that voice and that's like not the voice I want to have.

Oh, Kate. So they keep making fun of her. Hello, hello. Hello, I'm Courtney and Courtney's like, oh my God, I do not speak like that. I totally that hello. I do that kind of what I have to the phone, except I yell I go like this. Hello. I hit a full false set of I'm like, hi, I was just calling to find

out. Was I overcharged for this? Thank you. I turned into Colin. Colin. Customer service, I'm just calling to say, sorry. Oh. I just called to say, I'm sorry, I'm not a wedded one. You do a great, you do a great job.

Oh, just friends, okay. Customer service, you just want to be friends, okay. To be just friends, press two. Okay, so Courtney, Kate Courtney, come in. Oh yeah, radio voice. Okay, Captain and Kevin. Now, Captain's like, Kevin, come up here. And he tells us, I don't babysit,

but when I got a chef being a dick to my crew, I mean, listen, when Kate brings it to my attention, it's a problem, all right? So he sits down Kevin up in the wheelhouse and he's doing it in his power position, right? Yeah. It's like, I'm the captain, I'm literally turning a wheel right now for no reason.

He's just like, you know, he's like, I'm gonna be in charge of a boat, all right? Yeah. He sort of has like a guerrilla stance, right? Because he's got, he's like sort of like leaned over his hands or like on the wheel or around the wheel and his butt is sticking out like right at Kevin. And he's just not even looking at him.

And he's like, and he's basically lecturing Kevin because essentially Kate rattled the last episode. He's like, so I hear there was a dust up this morning want to enlighten my asshole about it. So that's the only thing that's facing you right now. Um, he's like, well, you know, when, uh, when, when shit's not together, I get mad. Sorry, sorry. I said I'm sorry to, uh, and, you know, that was it. You know what? I'm sorry. I was totally wrong. Everything I said about Captain Lee's stance. That was for later

in the episode. No, I know. I realized it to you after I was sitting politely. Yeah, I was sitting politely in his chair. So everyone, every observation that we just made, everyone just like copy and paste it in your mind for later. Yeah, actually we're just gonna skip that part altogether now. So Lee was actually sitting quite pleasantly with probably his leg crossed and he called Kevin in. Yeah, so he's like, yeah, you know, took care of it. I took care of it. You know, we had a problem, whatever. And Kevin's like super furious with Kate now. He's like, well, at least on Nova, we stand. She doesn't look me. I don't like her. So he's just like brushes it off at the captain he's like all right we got

it took care of it I'll try and take care of things right away next time and just just leaves just walks out and I remember for me watching it I was like oh he just is gonna walk out and then captain leesar's laughing and sure enough that's what captain leegates mad about yeah he's like you have the balls to walk away from me. Pass. Just even know this sort of gorilla asshole stance I can make at this wheel. Uh, hi, uh, bankruptcy department. Yeah, middle list of things I own. Kevin's ass is at the top of it. Uh, cause I own his ass.

I own it. You will respect the rank. Tell you that right now Damn it. Hey guess what not in the market to rent because I already own Kevin On my own your ass Hey, uh, does this yacht have a full basic cable package because I was wondering if we maybe had VH1 or MTV or maybe own as in I own his ass Monday on the Oprah Winfrey network. Evan's ass.

The ass and the ass knots. God Oprah takes all the good ideas first. It should be my god damn network, all right? So Ashen Gathers the Deccans and basically, you know, it's basically telling them like, you guys have to tell me if there's a problems because I don't want to be left out of the loop. And he has like the, he has the funniest way of making Brian feel better about, you know, what happened with the Dapp, but he's like, name, Brian, I don't want you to feel bad about your joint

fuck up, but anyway, there's a whole, yeah, the massive Brian, I don't want you to feel bad about your joint fuck up, but anyway, there's a whole idea. The massive fucker. I know you had a huge fuck up and you barely deserve to be on this yacht, but you know, chin high. Yeah, here we are. How about do me a favor and let me flirt with the girl that you're so obviously taking because I'm freaking out.

So the captain goes upstairs for dinner and greets all the guests and stuff. And of course Brandy is missing. And then we see her like talking to herself, like she's barfing, it's the weirdest thing. I think she's dreaming of barfing because she's like, whoo, ah! I would say exorcism because that's what I wrote down, but Kate uses that later.

So I don't wanna be a cute stealing Kate's line. Mm-hmm, Stealing it. We're saying it anyway. Ha! We're borrowing it, which is unlike owning it! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! At least Serena just come on this boat because I could swear that someone is owning it. Oh, that must be me and as Kevin's ass.

Ha! Ha! So, Kevin is frying up some shrimp and doing street food, which, you know, Thailand is very famous for its street food, it's delicious street food. But it's also just a way to throw shrimp in the fryer and not really have to do anything. So I'm not sure about this. There's that too. Yeah, exactly. Also, we just have to assume since these people are already on Thailand, they probably had some street food on the way to the boat.

Also, you just bragged 20 times about how you're a luxury yacht chef and you would never do things non-luxury. So whatever cabin, whatever cabin, okay, keep trying. Wow. So we baked this lovely looking shrimp, it does look lovely. And then he's doing like a fish Like wrapped in like a leaf etc. And there's like a garnish thing and he starts eating one of them to see if it tastes good and Basically

That that was captain Lee's servant because he That's not the shrimp. That's the fish That's what we're talking about. Oh, yeah, I moved on to fish. Sorry. I did I That's what we're talking about. Oh, yeah. Oh, you moved on to fish, sorry. I did. I got to try. When I said that he was making fish in a leaf with a garnish, that was my fish. I was talking about the fish. Sorry, I heard shrimp.

And then I was like, oh, yeah, I remember the shrimp part. And then I started thinking about shrimp. It started to be a fish in the past, yeah. I was like, oh, I love shrimp. It's like you running through a field. I'm so sorry. And also this new office tear leans back really far. And so I was like, how running through a field of strength. I'm so sorry. And also this new office chair leans back really far. And so I was like, how far would this lean?

And then I started dangling my legs off of it. And I was like, wow, I haven't dangled my legs since I was a kid. I feel like a kid again. A kid who likes shrimp. Don't forget where we are, man. I remember when I worked on that shrimp boat with that very slow person who like to run everywhere Far scump Stop losing me on purpose

Now you know I'm already lost so you're just gonna get me lost on purpose You can be next Leah mocking came in until Lisa It's like Wait a minute. I guess I'm just not allowed to make a reference to a movie from 25 years ago. Okay, fine. All I know is run for is run. All I know is that it's not of one best picture. How about that?

How about that? Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's like a box of chocolates. Okay, you never know which one is going to make fun of your childhood. Let's keep our shrimp heads, everybody. Let's keep our shrimp heads, everybody. Let's keep our shrimp heads. Okay, the point is this, Kevin brings up six plates of fish instead of seven. And so there's no fish for Captain Lee.

So Kate, of course, is relishing this moment. So she really is. She's like, so what are we gonna give him? We're just not gonna give him one. Is that what we is. She's like, so what are we going to give him? We're just not going to give him one. Is that what we're going to do? Oh, so he's going to starve to death. Okay, well, you know, you've done a great job on all of your boats before. And now you can add starving the captain until he died onto your resume.

That'll be fun. Just trying to remember who is the most important person on this boat. I thought it was Captain Lee, but I don't know. Maybe it was this random goth I don't know, maybe it was this random goth chick who brought some pearls on board pre-dustin to your vagina. Yeah. I think I just became a medium because I'm pretty sure that Titanic grandpa is right behind you sobbing in disappointment. Sort of makes me wonder if maybe your great grandfather served enough uh... brioches to the titanic that maybe if

maybe if that watchman hadn't been so hungry you might have seen that ice burger little sooner maybe wonder if it's runs in the family on uh... i like that you're offended by that ronnie i like it like oh god oh god i can't believe too soon too soon. Too soon.

How's it going? That's it everyone. The reason why the Titanic sank is the crew was angry. Yeah, the crew was like eating an extra portion of fish. The captain. The crew was eating her donuts. Yeah, the captain was trying to figure out why there was cabbage oncoachies balls. So it's bad. It's a nice cold neck. Yes, it's bad. Nice cold air pieces. If you see it today, you see it's time for commercial. It's time for raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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So it's bad enough that Kevin does not have a dish for the captain. It's even worse that he didn't think to throw something together. And it's even worse that then when he plates it, he like pats the captain on his shoulder like, hey buddy, he's like, sorry, Kip, you're not gonna get this one. Like, oh, that's the way it happens. And like if you had said, I'm so sorry, I'm making you something, right? There wasn't, yeah, like if you whisper, there was an incident and I'm gonna make you something. But he was like, hey, sorry, and then that was it.

Yeah. That was it. Yeah, that was not very wise. And Ellen's looking at her as soon as she takes a bite. She's like, oh, it's like a piece of jewelry. What kind of compliment is that? Well, it tastes delicious. You know, a clear is earring.

Mm. Let's be fair. Her anal beads are sort of also like a piece of jewelry. Good point. Yeah, it's how it yeah It's how and everything's jewelry if I can make it into jewelry. I can make it anywhere so So basically all captain Lee has is a little bowl of garnish and and so he's like you've already pissed me off and now you're not gonna feed me Not a good

Move okay, it's almost like my good friend, Gail Simmons came through here. Hi, I'm on top chef now. You show new show. I'm just going to you all of them now. He's just on every provost. Every provost competition. Did you mean to forget my fish? Yeah, yet.

So Kevin is, uh, Kevin goes back to the kitchen. He tells Kate, He's like, oh my god. I ate the last piece to taste it She says oh my god. Oh, so you're not even trying so what you're saying? I mean I could tell that about your general Disposition, but you're not actually gonna try to really really try I don't have any fish because of that extravva Ganzha which he didn't have any fish for either He didn't have yeah, he yeah exactly he didn't buy a fish for that So the guests just love the fish and they're going crazy and captain leaves just like very sad and just looking into his bowl and goes I'm eating a garnish. Do I look like a rabbit?

Actually nothing say it He does kind of like one of those, one of those floppy eard rabbits, you know, they're of calendars, like a hanging their version. Like, yeah. Oh, yeah, when those flop, oh, the floppy, yeah, he's got, yeah, he's got floppy eard rabbit. Is it? I will have Kevin's ass for the ass! So then outside, Kate and Quartney are so excitedly talking about how much Kevin is fucking up. I've never seen Kate this happy, you know. It's like someone just dropped a carton of Benson and Hedges off of a helicopter and

it landed right in her lap. I can't believe he didn't make something. I mean, this is crazy. I can't even make it. He didn't even try. He didn't, he didn't try. This is, I mean, this is honestly the best day of my life. This is so wonderful. By the way, to look like a rabbit or to be rabbit like, the word is leperine, not leperine. It's leperine. I think leperine might be, I'm not going to say what it might be because I mean, it's going to get myself into another, like, people all week long, leupine actually means, you know, it's, like, James LePine is a writer for Broadway, sir. Oh, I'm right. Lapline means something.

I mean, look it up now. So Ashden is talking to the guys and The language of rabbits. How about that? What is it? Lapine is the fictional language of rabbits in Watership Down. See it all comes full circle full circle. There you go So Ashton is talking with Tanner and he's like wood on the street is you took in Katie and Tanner says Oh, yeah, I've said a bottle and she's I said a bottle and she said, Yeah, let's have two. So he thinks it's like a super date. Yeah.

It's our classic joke. And this is why Tanner can never date people's ants. You know what I mean? It's like you just say a joke and he never gets it. Yeah, that's why he can like it because he's outclassed every time, every single time. It's just, he's too young. So yeah, but either way, he thinks he's going on a super day, like you said. So then Brian and Asher just like applauding him, like he just won trivia at TGI Friday

is or something. So he's very excited and it's hard. Well, that's where you go when you want to meet people's ants. That's for sure. That's true. Or you just really want a Jack Daniel steak. Yeah, don't have enough of those in the world. So Kate is talking to the captain. I'm just, he's still sitting at the table, but he's the only one there. So she goes up to him. She's like, um, hi, captain. I was going to ask you how you're doing, Wes, but, um, you were stuck here eating garnish. Is that what I see? This is sort of my way of just reminding you that you actually did not have a

main. Huh. Can we, can I come back here and serve an empty bowl to you again? Because that really gave me a thrill that I can't explain. Yeah. I was also thinking we could maybe go through some inventory. We'll start with you. Do you own anything? Do you want to meet me? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,

ask Kevin Glass. Very good. Very good, very good captain. So he was like, yeah, and then he padded me on the shoulder like an arrogant little prick. Yeah. I mean, if you're going to be an arrogant little prick, you better back mean, if you're gonna be an arrogant little prick, you better back it up.

Don't you wanna impress your boss? Your boss who apparently has some leperine features. Hello, you're just gonna, no matter what happens today, you're gonna make sure you remember that for that fucking crossword. Leperine, leperine, the word is leperine and it pertains to rabbits and

purely captains. So Simone and Abby are talking and Abby looks exhausted, you know, like not taking her hair down has really taken the toll. It's like, oh, all this like not putting my hair up. That's why she doesn't like changing clothes because she has to manage all that hair. Yeah. You know, it's like when Leigh Ann Lacken went to Mexico and was crabby is because she had too much hair. Sometimes you just have too much hair. So Abby is now giving Simone advice because Simone is exhausted from the laundry and she's really depressed. So Abby's like, you know, maybe you could just tell Kate, you know, maybe Courtney can do the laundry one night. She's like, oh my God, thank you for you, the married.

I actually never thought I'm just saying that. She's so cute. I love her. She is really cute. I like her. I like the cast overall quite a bit. Yeah, there's a whole different vibe this season. I'm not sure why.

So anyway, Abby's, Abby just kind of nods and kind of dead pants at the camera, like wow, this season. I'm not sure why. So anyway, Abby's just kinda nods and kinda dead pants at the camera like wow, this girl. So Kate is talking to Courtney and she's like, oh my God, isn't Brian hot? Those arms, I mean those arms, you should've seen those arms. And Courtney's like, I don't know, but he's the kind of guy who takes like,

mirror selfies, oh no way, like, gym selfies. I kind of guy who takes like, mirror selfies. Oh, no way. Like, gym selfies. I'll bet you anything he takes gym selfies. And then, piss them on Instagram. So they like him up. And of course he does. Yeah, exactly. I think Korn is like, I don't like his body. It's like it's too good.

Like, you can't have time for me if you're working on that much. It's like, not cuddly. I can't have time for me if you're working on that much. It's like not cuddly. I need something squishy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But she's totally. Squishy-towems. Yeah, I'm here with you.

Oh my God. It's dreamy. Dream. And he's sweet. I'll go do you hear that, Chair? It sounds like the Titanic rocking, do you hear it? It's, it sounds like the David breaking because Brian is sweet but not very adept.

So, um, uh, so now there, it's like late at night It sounds like the David breaking because Brian is sweet but not very adept so So now there it's like late at night and everyone's gone to sleep and Courtney is cleaning and she's like my feet hurt And she's walk and she's just cleaning in the music like And then all of a sudden brandy appears in the kitchen is like It's somebody up or what oh hi lady hi, it's like, whaah! Oh! It's like, it's somebody up or what? Oh hi, lady, hi! It's like, oh hi. It's like, I guess juice.

Her hair is such a hot mess that's going in every single direction. She put on this weird dark lipstick and that's smudged on her chin. She's wearing a shirt that almost looks like one of those traditional Mexican blouses and has little tassels on the bottom. But she also has like her bikini sort of dangling out. She is like the definition of the hottest mess of hottest messes. Yeah, she really is. I was really impressed that she said, can I have

some juice? But then of course she's like, and champagne to mix with it. Yeah. And then she goes, what time is it? And Courtney goes, it's like 12 12 it's like 12 30s goes at night like no like we're in the clips right now. Sorry She's a mess so then she's mad that everyone else is asleep when she's been in bed all day so she calls somebody He's saying hello. Oh my god. They went to bed. I'm still sitting here like You're not even listening to me. Hello. Hello. I feel bad for whatever, you know, well, she probably was, she probably did not even make a phone call.

She was just like talking into an emoji. But then, um, so Courtney goes down to Kate's room and she's like, um, hi, uh, Brandy is like awake. Um, it just cuts like, Brand, hi, uh, Brandy is like a wake, um, just got to like, Brandy going, I called jab, I was like, what the fuck is up with that? I'm like, oh my god, this woman is a mess. So Kate gets up and she sees Kate and she says, Kate, are you so up? You need to lie down. You look, Kate goes, um, gorgeous. And then she goes to the back and she goes, that dumb bitch, you're gonna tell me I look tired. How dare she?

How dare she? Like how angry she's made me. Well, at least the screaming stopped. So I guess the boyfriend got on her. No, but then she winds up, but then she winds up like talking to someone else or whatever, because suddenly she's being, who goes from being belligerent on the phone to being flirty,

she's like, he's after me. And I'm like, whatever. Uh. The most woman way her mood changes just on this phone call alone. It's amazing. Yeah. And get goes, oh my god, is this real life?

This can't even be real life. And Courtney goes, she just hung up on her home screen. So I don't know where Brandy goes, but she just disappears. And Kate's actually, she's asleep. Good, but right now. Yeah. So like, shut up all the lights. She's like, the basically the monster who's haunting this boat is brandy. So now it's the next morning. And of course, the very first thing is that Brandy wants a glass of champagne Yeah And the good news is that breakfast service went smoother for Simone so that's on the up and up etc And then Kevin goes up to Captain Lee to apologize about how he fucked up dinner and this

This is where we're in the wheelhouse. This is in the wheelhouse We're Captain Lee is at the wheel and his butt is facing Kevin. And Captain Lee is actually, he is, by the way, driving the boat to the port because they have to get off the boat. Yes. And he's not looking, he won't look at Kevin at all or pay him any mind. He's giving him kind of the silent treatment. So Kevin's like, I kept him, how did you go down last night and there's a really long silence?

Yeah, it was okay. Well, I'm sorry for, you know, running out on ya. And he's like, well, good thing, the guest, one of the guests didn't show up, he had really been fucked, right? How hell of a way to run a railroad, huh? You're driving that car right off the cliff, huh? Wow, you're flying that plane right over the mountain side

into the ditch. Looks like that trolley's got the wheels coming off. If you know what I'm saying, have fun on your half your half wheeled bicycle. Yeah. Yeah. Enjoy crashing into a cliff with your hang glider. I'm out of things that move. I'm really dumb. I have like a limit of five things I can think that's okay.

There are there are many others, but but I feel good ending on a hang glider. Forget to forget to charge up that lime scooter. Hey, let's segue into something else if you're capable of doing that. So he's just staring out at the water. And basically like he goes, well, I mean, yeah, it's not like you're on a limited budget. I would have thought you'd order more Matt, Matt and F. Not barely enough. Yeah. And Kevin is just sitting there quietly staring at him. Like, like, I thought Kevin was at a loss for words, meaning like he was so embarrassed that he and he was sort of like expect like not sure what Captain Lee was going to say next, but actually he was angry. And so he's staring at Captain Lee's butt and he's like, I can't, in his mind,

he's like, I can't believe it. So he just leaves. Again, just leaves. As far as we can see, he leaves without being excused. Who knows if they edited it out. But then Kevin tells us, you know, I missed a place, but I don't expect for someone to not address me or look at me.

I don't think it's fair for him to do that to me. I'm like, you're the chef. Okay, he's the captain. Yeah, you can say, I'm so sorry about last night. How can I make it up to you? I'm so embarrassed that we'll never happen again. The end. That's all you need to say. The end. Maybe, maybe bring him a bowl of cereal. How about that? He loves his cereals. Get him some cereals. The amount of entitlement that Kevin has is out of control. Yeah. I mean, everybody has a job and has a boss like everybody has to do this. Kevin. Okay. Yeah. It's not just you.

Meanwhile, Tanner is trying to get on Kate's good side by folding towels to help out with this, this dude downstairs. And he's like, Hey, Kate, how you doing this morning? Kate and she's like, hmm, I'll be a lot better if you folded that towel in thirds. Thank you. So Kevin sees Simone in the kitchen. He's all flustered after this captain thing. And he goes, I just got scolded by the captain for not giving

a fish last night. And she goes, oh my God. Did it run the rest of your day? It's hilarious. She was really fingers were crossed on her part. She's like, aha, nice. Know how it feels. I was bullied, were crossed. I'm her part. She's like, aha, nice. Know how it feels. I was bullied, fuck her.

Yeah. So Tanner's like, so we're still going to sit down for that wine action. And she says, um, always, always. And then she leaves. I think we're right. As friends and I was a group, right? That's implied with my, my very subtle smile that also could

also be interpreted as I really don't want to talk to you right now full dead of thirds Also, I never drink wine standing up. So of course, I'm going to be down for some wine action you idiot So Brian's like confirmation station Which really like I Don't support that confirmation station. Yeah, not sure. I don't. Do not. Do not.

So how one comes down with a gift for Kevin. He's like, hey, Kevin. Just wanted to say thanks. Here's my panties and some pearls. I think you're really going to like those. OK, so put on the panties and the pearls, and then send me a selfie. OK?

Ah! Ah! I was like, wait, what? Wait, what is she asking to do? So he should, he runs down to show the guys. And he's like, I really can't figure this out. I thought it was like to strengthen you like asphyxia or whatever, but,

or there are too long to be anal, but what are these? What are these? Yeah, they don't, no one can really figure it out. He's like, they're a little bit too small to be anal, but he's like, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little I'll line out. So Brandy chugs one last champagne and now it's time for everyone to leave. And the first of all, that blonde lady gives Captain Lee a giant kiss on the cheek with

like both hands, like a very like, this is her last shot to seduce him and he's like, whoa, whoa. And then Brandy goes up to Captain Lee and she's like, forgive me, okay? Forgive me, forgive me. It was like the most coherent she's been the whole time. Yeah, I know she's like sober for five minutes this entire time. So Richard's like, yep, if you can handle this one, you can handle everything guys.

Just pooped and it'll be that on your floor. So someone picked that up, right? Yeah. So now it's time for cleaning, cleaning, get some of this cleaning. I am not touching any more hair. Sorry. So it's 20 to 30 time.

And the captain is really good going to get captain. He's like, all right, well, number two in the books. Remember when I was saying the other shoe was gonna drop? Well, it did on a plane train and an automobile. And then you just like, looks over at Kevin like, and glide into that tricycle. Well, I guess that other shoe dropped right on the seventh plate of fish because I didn't get one.

It was probably in a hot air balloon somewhere. Find a way to put another transportation vehicle in here somewhere. I was hoping dinner would be out of this world, I find a way to put another transportation vehicle in here somewhere. I was hoping dinner would be out of this world, but I was not expecting a space shuttle to take my fish there. Kate, your girls did a good job. Aston, there was a mistake there, but okay, Simone, all right, I'm gonna try and okay, couldn't think of anything for Kevin.

All right, sorry. All right, let's put it this way. He's not exactly writing that penny farthing in the right direction. I had a compliment for Kevin. Unfortunately, I ate it before he came out here so he's just gonna have to sit there with nothing. All right.

Guess I was too hungry. Almost hit a nice burg. So Kevin's like, well, you know, he is a seaweed, right? And it's not for captain. I was like, wow, so you're calling the captain to cut fitness now. Great. You're really scoring here, buddy. Yeah, exactly. So they get a nice tip. And now it's time for more cleaning and Simone is telling's Courtney that Tanner asked Kate out on a day because she overheard because she was ironing next to all the guys while they were basically being animals. And, um, Kate, because Simone's like, really? I'm sorry, Courtney's like, really Tanner and Kate,

you know, I'm into it because I'm nosy and I want to know what it all, what's all about. So yeah, listen. I'm gonna support Alabette. So Kevin and Kevin is looks like he's going to go jogging or oh no no he's he's just all casual. He's like well you know I'm done here. So I'm going to go out and celebrate and stay in with the guys. And she's oh are you? That's nice. That's really nice.

Maybe you'll find a piece of fish out there. Yeah. You're going to have a cleaning extravaganza. It's gonna be fun. Oh, but you know that with like most extravaganza, you will have to have more than just a little bit of water, you know, it's a mem2 plates. You should clean all of the windows except for one. That would be fine. Stake consistent. Stake consistent. It's good. She's leave people wanting more, you know?

So Ashton, of course, I'll Ashton thinks about, you know, Kevin comes at me and goes, so, Kevin, you like anyone on Chadda? He's like, Jesus, you keep asking me that. It's not like they get me hotter. Yeah. And on top of that, Ashton, you're like sort of an authority figure on this boat, so like, maybe stop like, mackin'en on the girls as they say. Who you want to bone?

So he's like well you know it's not that I'm into Kourtney I like flading back and forth. I say that when I'm in my normal state but then there's this action you know there's this action you saw me it was to be shared mean. Yeah. That's his laugh. I like when Ash and Brian both laugh together and it's like. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, very strong way. So cleaning, more cleaning. So Courtney goes up to Kate. Yeah, just like, so I was looking through seafood tower quarterly. And

then snow told me that you might have a date tonight. So what's that about? And gets like, oh, really? I'm the last to know. So I'd like how Captain Lee's the last receipt fish. He doesn't receive it at all. So I'm like, yeah, he just asked to share some wine, which I do with everybody. So I mean, if he's gonna call it, if he thinks that's a date, he needs to call it one. So how about that? So there's a thing about that. And Corny's like, he thought he was asking you on a date

and she goes, that's so nice. No. I wear a corsage. Yeah. So they get ready to go out and Tanner's just like standing around waiting for Kate to come down, but she never comes down because she was washing her hair. She's literally doing the oldest excuse in the book. Well, if it's between Tanner and washing my hair, I'm going to wash my hair. And maybe even the boat, I don't know, I'll do really anything before I go on a date with Tanner. I mean, I'll bang him, but yeah. No date. So she finally comes in and she's like, sorry, I might have to wash my hair.

Wash my hair. Instead of having one with Tanner, she says, well, I can't have one with Tanner while I was washing my hair, but I can't have one with Tanner at a bar where we're going. Yeah. So now they all pour off the boat and they get, they pile into some talk talks and I want what Dan are at a bar where we're going. Yeah. So now they all pour off the boat and they get they pile into some talk talks and they're like partying and happy. It's like, I want to get hammered and they wind up at a place called the key and they're dancing and everyone's having a fun time mix up for Kevin. You say I can't say the fuck it, but it's called the key in.

Oh, no, no, it's not called that. It's called the key in oh no no it's not called that it's called the key. I wrote down the key in Fouquet, but I thought it meant the key in the bucket when I wrote down like he in the fuck it. So I just I've just made a whole a whole drama for myself. But I did stop myself from sharing it because I didn't know I was about to share it. Sorry every time. Just went on you just went on a two bottle of wine date with yourself. I did. Sarah is watching my hair. Sorry, sorry, Ronnie. I was there to hear your logic fall apart in many pieces,

but I was watching my hair. I think about shrimp for my childhood. Sorry. I should never think out loud. I can barely think silently. Yeah, but I like the excitement. then the the drawn out day new month The drawn out day new mall I Am not I'm not doing this with you right now Who talks like that you are not happens after the climax Called cigarettes then like that. You are. It happens after the climax. To call cigarettes them. Okay.

In storytelling. You're fucking with me on purpose. Danu mom. Everyone on purpose. Everyone you just got a brand new word that you can use. Danu mom. Not an uncommon word. Yeah. I'm man. It's not like it's not like Lepurine.

Yeah. Okay. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. We'll end on an agreement. How about that? How about we win by me saying this you win. I'm just gonna have to you until you until you agree with me. What's happening to me? Who's after? Oh God. So here's a good palette cleanser, Ashton dancing. I love her now. When he says something's breaking out of him, it's a really bad uncle dance at a wedding. That's what's breaking out of him.

So he's dancing. And Kevin is now depressed about Captain Lee's approval. He's going through all the stages of grief today. Well, because Captain Lee is his dad. Let's not forget. This is Kevin now like having his child and happen. Yeah. It's very obvious. Oh. So we sent you say little Kevin, we sent you to a private academy for you to learn things and all you do is eat food and play rugby and not get a proper education.

Guess what? We taken back your Ford Fiesta and now you have to walk to school. Maybe you should think, maybe you should look into it, go into cooking to save yourself. So Tanner and Kate are talking and he's like, yeah, it made sense. Yeah. Okay. Cause all on your wrist, there we go. Now it's captainly. Yeah, I will own your bottom, sir. I will own your bottom. You know that Kevin's gonna have a story about how his dad never looked at him in the eye and told him he loves it. That's what it's all is.

Well, it's always a daddy issue or a mommy issue. Like whenever I go on a first date, maybe this is why I never have a second, but whenever I go on a first date, I always say, so do you have a mommy issue or a daddy issue? I just need to know what I do like with. That's an amazing line and also incredibly self-handicapping. It is, but it's true, you know, because then I can just say, my mom, okay, what's yours? Because if it's two mommy issues, that's not good. But if it's a mommy issue and a daddy issue, that's good, because, you know, you have to, like, I don't know why,

but it works. Ow. So anyone, anyone with daddy issues out there, give me a call. I need you. I've been looking for you my life. It's really hard finding a gay guy without a mommy issue. And they're a issue. You heard that. Yeah, you heard it here. I'm sure there are plenty of gay guys with daddy issues.

Like, that's got to be very common. My full, the niva approved of my, may have accents, you know? Yeah know, yeah, God you're making me want to date. Okay. I'll be on Tinder for the rest of this Ben carry on Okay, so speaking of dates Tanner is trying to order a drink for Kate and he's just sort of I guess being obnoxious about it and kids like Sober Tanner is super cute, but sober Tanner's never out with us, you know? And then yeah, I was like, okay, you want to go on three sometimes later because I'm a fleet of long iron I drive the island I double in and Yeah, yeah, let's cut the bullshit here. I want to take you on a date, all right? I know the wine date was kind of spun upon and she just looks at him like mm-hmm

Yes, spun upon mm-hmm keep going keep talking and she just looks at him like, mm-hmm. Yes, spun upon, keep going, keep talking. And she just looks away and he goes, okay, I think the small talk is done. She's like, okay. Well, the tricky thing is that Tanner has to be way more sober, but I have to be way more drunk. So, I mean, I'll bang him probably. Yeah, by accident, like if I fall on his penis,

that's possible. So Brian is talking to Tanner now And he's like hey, breathe you all right, breathe And he's like nope not really all right, so Brian's talking to Courtney now and he's like are you happy? and she's like and he's like, are you happy? And she's like, ah, yeah. Siff it tower.

So then Ashton comes over and tries to break in. And he's like, can I, hey, why don't we all hang out? Wouldn't it be fun if we all hang out? Can I order a bottle of wine for us together? And she's like, no, we're talking here. Yeah, can I still you a few seconds? So she's like,

so she's stuck with Ashton because Brian Brian basically leaves because it's also his supervisor. So, you know, he has to get out of there. So, Ashen's like, you know what I like about you, Courtney, is that you're beautiful and you're an old soul. And I love that even more about you, which already I'm like, I just, I know saying an old soul is like a nice thing to say, but I don't think any girl ever wants to be told they're an old soul. I think it's a thing you declare about yourself. No one wants to use the word old. Right?

It's part of the flirtation. Yeah, and he's really trying. Also, it's just sad because she's obviously hitting it off with Brian. Yeah. He's just doing that thing he does. He did it his last season, too, where he can't stand it. So he has to win, you know, and she's so over it. And obviously not into him. So he's like, you're beautiful old soul. I locked it even more. Tell me, tell me two floors about you. Huh? Tell me two floors. She's like dumb question. Dumb question. I guess my flaw is not valuing my own time,

which is why I'm talking with you right now. Maybe that's what it is. What am I at a job interview at McDonald's? He's like, well listen, you don't have to say yes now. See what happens. Just see what happens. Maybe you'll say, wow, I want to do the shit in. Let's just wait.

Let's just wait. Give it time. Do you know what answer? Have you ever had sex with a old French or in the back of a production van before Don't eat so don't eat well wait for date when we talk leader so Brandy Courtney are back to talking and He's like do you want to drink I do and Second okay and Kate's watching them and meanwhile when Brand went to the bathroom He switched shirts with a bartender so now he has a lot of

corny children too yeah oh yeah corny's like change shirts with that guy which is a power move by the way that she was doing which is good i support it yeah control him control that jimselfie man so kate looks over at them she's like oh my god i love that brine is hitting on corny so hard and say this dude over at them. She's like, Oh my God, I love that Brian is hitting on Courtney so hard. And the sailors do. It's nice to see that someone out of your puts an effort. So Brian's kind of nervous. And he's like, so blah, blah, blah. You know what? I feel like I have to talk all the time. Why?

You don't feel like that? Like you have to talk. It's just, well, I'm really pretty. So now my talk when you can just roll your eyes. You know, sitting on something. So now they all get in there. They're all going home and Brian's still wearing his sailor shirt and he was bummed because the other shirt he was like, I actually really looked that shit. I'm sad to see it go. So he's actually in his sailor shirt going home. And then it's weird because it's like montage in the van of them partying and like, talk again laughing.

And there's like this strange arc with his shirt because he's wearing the sailor shirt and then all of a sudden he's shirtless and then all of a sudden he's back in his original shirt. I'm like, how are they just gonna assume? Like how do they just put him back in his old shirt without explaining to us how this happened? I need answers. I need to see him walk up to the bartender and say, hey, can I have my shirt back

brew? And then the bartender says, sure, I hope it doesn't smell. Does mine smell now? And they smell them. They say, no, it smells like a mix of both of us than they guess. And they hand off the shirts, call each other brew. And it all is said and done. There you go, man. That helped. Well, I think what happened really is that probably a producer went back with the shirt because it was like they weren't allowed to do it. But they're not going to show a producer giving them a shirt back.

Because they do acknowledge it. Because Abby, when they get out, she's like, you got your shit back. But they don't see how. They don't see how. Wow. Let's all ponder that for a moment. Yeah.

Wow. It was. That was quite a day new mom. All right. Now you're just being the remember when you were a child and you lost your shirt when you're eating all that shrimp. Shredpads. So they leave and ashton almost gets crushed in an elevator because apparently in Thailand,

they have those little safety things. So they both just crushed you. That was terrifying. He was literally doing a Superman thing. Also hot, he was like, uh, straight and like crying them open to like basically like eject himself out like a like a baseball at a batting cage you know it was I was like what the hell yeah all this season this is how Aston almost loses a limb I know seriously so then they're all wasted in these

little party bus things on the way back home and did you notice Kate Cuddling Kevin and the car Kevin was more like Kevin lead on the lap. I saw that and I could tell that she hated every single second of it. Well, she didn't need him in the face. I mean, that's Cuddling. That's Kate Cuddling. I didn't hit you. So we're Cuddling. Wow. We're dating now. So lovely getting this close up view of your thinning hair. Great. Thank you. Oh, so Abby is shitfaced and falling down and stuff. And then we get just a montage of Abby eating at night. Yeah. Yeah. Making proclamations like you guys, I fucking love to sell. love to sail.

You guys motorboat motorboat now. I love meat. Baker, I'm sure. So 8.40 a.m. There's a nice loud snoring sound and a close up of my best friend, Tito's and the captain just looking at the map and goes, God, damn it! We don't know what happened, I mean, maybe never will, but something really pissed them off. God, damn it, we did hit a nice break after all. So Abby is hung over and she can't get up and everyone's up, everyone's cleaning. And meanwhile, Kevin is still reeling from Captain Lee being so rude as to be an authority

figure. And he's like, oh, I've never had a reaction from a captain like Captain Lee's. I just can't believe it. So he goes off on a run to, you know, to run. Cause that's what you do. It's like on a quidder, but that was a bullshit move. I can just hop off this boat and he can cook. Wow, or he can just get another cook, which is what they do quite frequently on those franchise turns out that there are a lot of chefs in the world. So

it's called master.com. Look at that. It's called listen to a Beyonce song and find out about the idea of being irreplaceable and how you're not that. So meanwhile, Courtney is downstairs. I hate ironing. It's the moment. It's like you'll be used to it. She's happy just skipping around the boat. And then Ashen calls Abby on the radio over and over. Abby, Abby, Abby, A-Shen, Abby, Abby, A-Shen, Abby, Abby, A-Shen, Morton, Morton. And she never answers. Don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, She, and not only that, she sent a text to Tanner saying, I don't know if I'll be up by nine

today, I need a toilet nearby. And Ashen's like, but we will roll up. We're all doing this. My one rule, I made one rule, which is if you want to suck my dick, it is available at all hours of the day. And then I made another rule and I said, if you're going to go out and party, you have to be able to wake up the next day. Also, see rule number one, because that is still in effect, still in effect. Still got my penis after you've read rule number two. So come back to rule number one because that is still in effect still in effect still got my penis after you've read rule number two So come back to rule number one take care of the penis in the way that I told you So Abby isn't that it's the big cliffhanger and we'll see what happens next week. I hope it involves grunchies

Bring us to the end of below dick everybody. Thank you so much for being with us for another week. Go get your Birmingham, Alabama tickets and all our live show tickets over at watchupcrapons.com. Come over and check out our fun bonus episode this week covering the Joe and Teresa, Judy's interview on Watch Your Dappens Live. And we'll talk to you next time. Have fun in Thailand my little big. Oh my God, thank you so much. I am excited to go and I don't know if I'm really gonna have anything to report back that perchains the bravo but it'll be really exciting. You know what, I'm actually gonna be awful. I'm so sorry in advance everyone because you know the next few below deck recaps I'll be like well when I was in Thailand last week I was in Thailand that's so funny I had that drink when I was in Thailand. Oh my god. I totally drove by that place when I was in Thailand.

So apologies ahead of time. Yeah, well you earned it, babe. Thanks. I'm not sure if I earned it, but I'm going nonetheless. And all the toilets in Bangkok, I'm coming for you. Oh, bye everybody. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.