Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Return of the King

Episode Date: March 2, 2023

Captain Lee makes a triumphant return to Below Deck and Haley celebrates her birthday by picking her nose on the phone w her boyfriend and talking about her smelly butt. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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Taxes and other fees still apply. Introducing the new audible original breakthrough. The genre redefining audio only series that strips away the superficial to reaffirm what matters most, pure talent. Featuring celebrity judges Kelly Roland, Sarah Bareilles, and host David Diggs. Here every step of the musical journey has five underscored musicians battle through a series of high stakes singing and songwriting challenges for one top spot. It's musically gifted as they are artistically unique?

Each finalist is driven by the same dream, to become music's next must listen. But to break through they'll have to dig deep, pushing their vocal, songwriting, and recording chops their absolute limits while keeping their feet and emotions firmly grounded. So who will break through? It's time to find out! Join Kelly, Sarah, and David on a musical journey unlike anything you've ever seen. This is Breakthrough. Listen on Audible or wherever you get your podcasts. Go to audible.com slash breakthrough. Follow along using hashtag BreakthroughXAudible. I'm not a cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, cracker, crack, crack, crack, cracker, crack, crack, cracker, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack crack, crack crack, crack, crack crack, crack crack, crack crack, crack crack, crack crack, crack crack crack, crack crack, crack crack crack, crack crack crack, crack, crack crack, crack crack, crack crack crack, crack crack, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk

about on-year-old profs, darling. I'm Ronnie, and that's been over there, hi, man. Well, hello. Sexy, sexy, sick man. Yes. Husky voice. Husky voice, my body gave out after their crappies. After all that work, all that preparation,

after the travel and the middle of it. My, and of course, actually probably more to do with it is the 48 hours I spent in cold because of the power outage. And I am now experiencing my first cold since the pandemic, it's not COVID. I've been tested, both antigen and PCR. It's not COVID up and tested both Antigen and PCR it's not just a good old three times a day a day

three times a day I'm basically just like I have I know you're running back to that to get it now I just I did the PCR once the PCR is really accurate so like you know I mean, I don't feel like I have COVID. I just I just and I'm just run down, I'm just run down. I'm a run down podcaster at the moment, but not run down enough that I can't podcast more. And we are a standard American family, okay?

We're a staff because one of us get sick, and then it's miserable, and then the other one gets sick when the other one's healthy. So you see, it's like, now we just need to wait for our kids to get it. Yeah. And pass around the whole family. But good news, I'm not sick. And I can walk again. I'm just, your loss is my game somehow. I think I sucked. I sucked all the health energy from you because I got to see this past weekend. The properties are still up online. If anybody wants to watch them, you can still get tickets until Friday

over at watchwetcrapins.com. That was produced by Moment who did a fantastic job. It looked so good. Also, all the winners are listed over on our Instagram and our substack, which we now have. That's like a hot letter space. Yeah, and we just got some photos back from our photographer and they look amazing. She's so wonderful. Carolina Riner if anyone's interested in a photographer in the LA area and so we'll be we'll be posting those on our social media over the next few days

Because they're like it's just so good. Yeah, so go check all that stuff out. We are continuing that to This month we've got tons of shows. And guess what? I might list pulled up. Here it comes. Uh, we've got a lot of shows this month, which we're, which we're super excited about. We're going to get to go. We start on March 9th. Okay. And this is just all this month. Charlotte, North Carolina, Atlanta, Georgia, Denver, Colorado, Salt Lake City, Seattle, San Francisco. And that'll do us for this month. So get your butts out there and come see us and give us some hugs. Okay, get your tickets over at watch at crapens.com.

Also check out the rest of the cities we're coming to. We're going to be traveling around through June. So come see us. Now today is below deck season 10 episode 14. Yeah, big big episode. It's the it's Sandi's goodbye episode for this season, but the season's not over. The season shall continue on because Lee's back. I have to leave us back.

Yes. Hey, I've got good captain Lee voice today. How about that? I approve of our decision. I just wish she had contacted me first. So here we are. It's nighttime. It's a full moon because it's a reality show. That's how, you know, it's always a full moon. Okay. And we still have those crazy ass beauty queens obsessed with turkey sandwiches and steak wrapped up in 24 karat gold Yelling lunch most really just one lady Yeah, but they're all pretty So it's night to full moon and these crazies are out and they're like two prosperity

And then John the gay, their gay, just goes, Yaaaah! Yaaaah! Yaaaah! Last week we were all like in the... Daddy, yaaah! Plus, we were confused about his drag name last week because he called himself Trossy, Trossy Tots.

And we're like, what? We didn't get it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it and left it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it.

We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at it. We looked at okay. So anyway, it's a very bad track. Yeah, it has been acknowledged, and we see it, we hear it. Yeah, I don't know if it moves the needle for me, but at least we're getting the facts out there. Still stupid. Hold on, let's watch this needle move.

Nope, it still stuck on Stupid Drag Name. Okay, very bad. The needle has actually inverted in on itself and recoiled. I also want to point out that. It takes this off. Like we wish the turkey lady, she is to selling two shirts that say, I'm the turkey sandwich lady or something like that.

So for everyone who's been champing at the bit. I'm the turkey sandwich, like I like that. So for everyone who's been championing at the bid. I'm the turkey sandwich, like I'm the biggest pain on in the ass of a guest on this show. So come by my t-shirt. Fuck off lady. Hell no, I'm just gonna go by your stupid t-shirt. I'm gonna make a t-shirt that says, fucking learn some manners in public.

Like what the fuck is wrong with you? Long. Long. Long. I feel like she has, you know, I appreciate her optimism that most of America will see that t-shirt out of context and know what the hell it's about. And that people will actually want to buy it because they're such big fan-sippers. Like at least what's his face? Remember the NFL player on below Deck med, the crispy pancake edges? You know, we had the whole pancake saga.

And he came out with merch too, but his merch was like, it was very much like pro, Chris like pancakes got to have crispy edges. Like that can at least translate out of a below deck context, but what I'm trying to say is Lequiche, you just have to have better merch. You have to have a better brand.

Yeah, because like, well, maybe it's brilliant merch because if you say I'm the Turkey sandwich lady, everyone is the Turkey sandwich. Like who doesn't love a Turkey sandwich? Like literally everybody loves a Turkey sandwich. I mean, probably like 96% of the world loves a Turkey sandwich. You know what I mean? Except for people like you, vegetarians and vegans

and people who also appreciate a more delicious lunch meat. Right, but it's still enough, it's still classic enough. I mean, come on, the Mayflower came here. I'm really not, yes, I'm glad. I've got a lot of people. No, I need the wait, it's fine. Like made America, you know. I mean, it looks celebrated with turkeys.

It's a past, my point is like if you put a potato Want a shirt you're gonna sell the shirt because people love a potato, you know, I don't feel I don't feel like a lot of people Love a turkey sandwich people. Oh my god. It's probably the most famous sandwich in the world I know but I don't do people love a turkey sandwich people like a turkey sandwich still eat But that does do people say oh my god a turkey sandwich. I don't know so as Ironically I got myself a turkey sandwich two days ago Because um fat cells fat cells you have a sandwich that has like Coleslaw and Russian dressing and Swiss with ham is so good

But they got rid of the ham They made it a turkey sandwich and I was like I guess I'll have to get it with turkey and I liked it But I didn't love it the same way I would have loved it as with ham. Oh my god noted Okay, someone called the turkey association of America, but in general Maybe it's a good idea because maybe people will be like oh my god turkey I can relate to that I'll buy that t-shirt. Now that said, just shut up, just shut up, lady. You're the worst and as a waiter,

I want to drop a pitcher on you. You know, like, when you just, I have wrist troubles. I'm so sorry. Sorry, that entire pitcher is angry. I'm sorry. I struggled all over the room. Carpool. Everybody loves the Carful title sad much guys

So the captain is checking in with Rachel She's like, you know, I'm really happy Captain Lee's feeling better And I'm not gonna share that with the crew until the captain Lee makes it back once he's on this island I'll share it with the crew, but not until then I don't trust anything until the time this with the crew, but not until then I don't trust anything until the time this island. Mama, mama, what's that song? Mama will provide, Norma will provide. What with me little girl, let me be your guide. Hug with me, little girl, we are brand and not lame. Sandy will provide. So the guests are having dinner and they're heading up to their table.

And John of course, like, oh my goodness, this is gorgeous. And Fraser goes, it's an explosion of beauty and fire. What the hell, the enthusiasm, just oozing out of him. Get over here, I wanna hug, get over here, silly boy. So they hug and then Haley and Tyler are cleaning rooms and Haley just sees something and picks it up. And she's like, oh my god, what was that?

I was absolutely disgusting. It was absolutely disgusting. It was the first time I found flat in my private parts after masturbating with more roommates toothbrush. I mean. So then, I then like Fraser was talking about how like, you know, we're still down, we're a big boat. The guests are wonderful, but they're a lot of work.

So I do feel like I'm doing a hell of a lot. And we just need another stew. I need them quick and fuck me. Do they need to be good? I absolutely need them. And then it cuts the hailey knocking over like a piece of wood from the wall. I don't understand what happened. Like she just something just like broke off on a desk.

It's like, hey, we trying to masturbate with a table lamp. So then, uh, Rachel's like, oh, yeah, tonight's a weird 80's steak house night because it's 80's night. And I'm going to make steak with Worcestershire sauce. Yeah, I'm from Florida. I said Worcestershire. I can say however the fuck I want to. And meanwhile outside, it's windy. Oh, man, this is crazy. I can't talk about this. God, please win. Stop. Stop for tomorrow. Please, I beg to the wind. God's please. Here's what happens. Okay. When it's windy, here's what happens. Let me, let me give you a monologue, guys. So, if it happens, boom, we're in the sand, okay?

I'm concerned about our anchor track because the danger of drag and anchor is landing on rocks. And then we go, boom, and we fall over, okay? So I don't sleep out when the wind is like this. It's my job to keep us safe on this island, on this island. I do care about the rocks that you got because I'm still sandy from the the the island. This island. It's block of island cheese. So, um, a phrase

she's checking in on cabins and, you know, running, you know, can be in Frazier just like internally freaking out running around. And then we just keep cutting to the guests, asking them literally, they're trying to make it look like these guests are being unreasonable, which is easily believed because these guests are pretty unreasonable, but they're not really. They're like, can I have some more water?

He's like, oh my God, just die already, die your sleep. I don't have a fork, can I have a fork? He's like, oh my God, just die already, die your sleep. I don't have a fork, can I have a fork? Oh my God, you fucking nonsense. Yeah, I mean, there is a request for a coconut syrup, which is a little bit more exotic. And then there is a request for scissors, which doesn't really make sense, but then it's like butter and a Thai coke. But then it gets really bad. Rachel is the one who's really having to deal with this, right?

Because everybody's got a different food allergy. And one has a salad with dressing on the side. One has no cheese, but with dressing. One has a dressing, but it can't have dairy in it. So she had to make a special dressing for this lady, you know. Meanwhile, I'm glad that you're all on these special diets. You don't seem like it. You know what I'm like, it's not paying off. I'm glad that you're all on these special diets, you don't seem like it. You know what I'm like, it's not paying off. I'm just going to just, I know that's

terrible. Right out with it. Ronnie just took a knife out of the back of his pocket and threw it across doing it. Someone's neck. I know that that's terrible. I'm not saying anyone's ugly or anything like that. I would just never look at any of you and say, wow, you're glowing. Do you not eat gluten? You know what I mean? Right. It's not working.

Just have the fucking blue cheese and shut the fuck up. You're making us all nuts. You know, they're pageant, pageant ladies, so they're all messed up, you know? Well, pageant sofa. Okay. This is a different chapter. Yeah. So, John gives a lap and the lore.

Lure is the primary. He looks sort of like Shannon Bedore and then And then he's like oh my god your boob fell out cuz like one of those church one of those chicken cut Let's fall as that's not my boob. It's my butt Thankfully, it's Tuesday chicken night Ha ha ha ha. I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight. We're not getting chicken. Oh, well, that's fine.

That's fine. Just because I felt like something didn't mean that anyone had to actually honor or respect it, I really did it. Putting my chicken feeling sound deep down into a little dark space. OK, I'm happy. I'm happy.

So Rachel is preparing the 24-karat gold steak, but she refuses to wrap lequishes in the entire sheet of 24-karat. She's like, fuck her, everyone gets to feel special. So she divides it up into all the guests. And she's like, I want everyone to feel special, not just you. I want them all panning for it. You know, shit in the toilet. And then there was like this really weird use of the sound effect that you noticed this because Le Quiche, there you have served the surf and turf.

So we have steak and we have two pieces of shellfish on top the steak with the gold leaf. And Le Quiche looks at it and she goes, is this shrimp or lobster or both? And she takes her fork and she knocks off one of the indeterminate shellfish from the steak and it lands on the plate. And it goes, I was like, she's allowed to make some room to cut into her steak. But I think it was like, it's in favor of the lobster or the shrimp or the steak.

I think it was a dish of the gold, you know? I think it was, I think it was that after all that, she just sort of like, she just sort of cast aside the gold. She was more concerned with the lobster and the shrimp in that moment. And she just like knocked the gold off as if who cares. So then she's like, everybody have you tried the 24 karat gold steak? You've got to try it. Yeah. And then downstairs Haley's asking Tyler when he realized he was gay, which for some reason this question gets asked a lot this episode to no effect, to no end.

There's not even really like, like, diary room sessions about it. It just like, it just gets asked a lot today. So, so he's like, I've been less than hours 12. And he's like, oh, that's funny. I thought I was, I thought I was gay once. So, after I, you know, put a deal down my bum, I thought, is this what it's like to be a gay man? But good. I actually thought I was a candle maker once. After I put a deal down my bum, I thought, is this what it's like to be a gay

man? But good. Actually, thought I was a candle maker once, it's the first thing I've ever masturbated with. You know, life is funny like that, I'd make glad you're stuck. I really thought I was gay because I was obsessed with a gay icon. I had a severe obsession with Jerry Hallewell to the point that if I knew where she had lived, I would have hidden in her garden. My dad took me to see the spy school when I was about nine and I dressed up as Jerry Hallowell and I looked like a little dwarf prostitute. And my eyebrows drawn on full contour, Union Jack dress. My dad stood there and was probably like, why does my daughter look like a small sex worker?

That was a full verbatim monologue everyone. That was not a crap and indulgence. So funny. Um isn't being gay passay? I thought it was over you know I feel like there's just so much more to be than just gay. People are very excitable about being gay like young people on profile are like oh my god let me talk about being gay. I feel like it's a trend that's passed and that we're just we're just regular people with. Coast gay? Yeah it's like that post gay. I feel like it's a trend that's passed and that we're just regular people with. Host gay. Yeah, it's like that post gay. I feel like you don't get the same, you

know, you shouldn't get the same monologues. You know what I mean? Like you don't get to have the, like the tortured monologue about being in the closet anymore. I mean, yeah, you can have a moment, but like it's literally every episode with Tyler. He's like, oh my god, I'm gay. You already have a boyfriend and you're talking about having children. I'm not gonna cry for you. Oh, yeah, you know what I mean? Like I'm not gonna cry for you. But then again, I think being having a tortured monologue, dramatic tales of whatever.

That is part of the gay experience. I mean, I feel like half the reason I came out of the closet was that I could start doing dramatic monologues. So I'm talking about Dave Matthews all the time. Okay, fair enough. You know, who am I to say? I'm just like an old gay, you know, so, and I get that. I'm coming from that space where I'm like,

why is everybody acting like so much has been done? You know what I mean? Just be it, just be it. You real are. Hot and your gay. You know what I mean? Like your gay, you're both hot and your thin and your gay. Like I couldn't think of a luck of your life.

Like you get to be gay and thin and hot. It's like you just won the fucking genetic lottery. What do you, what do you sad about? It's like, oh, he's already talking about being gay. What a cliche. Just going through all the old tropes. Anyway, here's another parody song from once on the silence. But I'm not, you know, I'm not like tortured about being gay.

I'm, I'm celebratory about being gay. See celebratory and we we reserved the right to be both celebratory and self-loathing and someone says stop being self-loathing. I'll say stop being homophobic. Yeah, and this is the hypocrite party so get used to it. Yeah. So, um, on a podcast or do you want self-loathing? What do you want? Yeah, so then desert, oh, desert and glow sticks. Because speaking of being gay, desert and glow sticks, yes. Desert in the desert was glow sticks. Been there, don't that gait that one.

Gait that one. There's a coconut lime cake that makes it way up to the table. And John has this very, very impassioned food criticism. Oh my god, it tastes so sweet. and John has this very, very impassioned food criticism. Oh my God, it tastes so sweet. Like, for a cheap fun, I can think it was gonna taste like it. It's a cake. So they all go change into the 80s,

and everybody does, you know, so they're putting on like short shorts and headbands and et cetera, et cetera. And Fra're putting on like short shorts and headbands and etc., etc., and Frazier's like, 80s fashion was great because we could leave it there, but I'll give them what they need. Short shorts and socks pulled up to my knees. I don't remember that part. Do you? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's very 80s. Yeah, and by the way, just so you know, if 80s are alive and well just go to any hipster Napert goes so really go to Brooklyn, okay?

You see girls with those Estelle getty glasses on you see Gene jackets you see Puffy things Yeah, like 80s have not left us hipsters are They pretend a lot yeah It's time for commercial, it's time for what happens I'm going to say something scandalous running. Go on. Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods.

They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of Impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods.

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at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef, or patties, and get grilling. Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writer's room. Each episode, members of the writer's room and I unpacked moments from season two, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like

that, the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So, um, now it's 33 knots of wind. Oh geez, well I'm hoping we can dock, but that is crazy. 33 knots so wind oh geez Well, I'm hoping we can dock but that is crazy 33 not so wind I'm gonna do my best and then it cussed to the guest cheering and Rachel crawling in bed and Laura finding her It's as big as the three-year-old you know, yeah, it's a giant, like, inflatable thing. And then John's flirting with Frayser. He's like, he looks so cute in your little shorts. He's like, thank you. And then there's like dancing.

And then John's kissing Frayser on the top side of the head. And he's like, oh my God, I love Frayser. He's like so cute. And Frayser's like, please die now. Please die. Please go die. So then it's another morning on the boat, which means,

ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Tony giving birth, you know, making giving birth sounds while he works out on the deck. And it's windy.

And everyone's gathering for the salon. It's gonna be at Taili's birthday today too. So Sandy does this weird version of Happy Birthday where I think she thought to herself, you know, I want to sing Happy Birthday to her. I'm not sure if Bravo has the right to the song, so let me do my own version. Happy Birthday dear Haley.

Happy Birthday to you. I was like, what was that? Happy Birthday to you. I was like, what was that? Happy birthday to you. I just added some rest in there and changed the key of that. So hopefully we'll get away with that one. Okay. It's a public domain, happy birthday. I just wasn't sure because I heard the story about those two ladies that had their

rights for so many years. Did they river back to America yet? No. I'm 33 now. Today's all about me. Only me. And if they don't remind me me it's my birthday every half now they can fuck off Yeah, literally let's go fuck off somewhere So I'm so happy birthday. It's like I'm a god lovely woman happy birthday. She's oh, I love that you know that today's all about me

I didn't actually know that today's all about me. I didn't actually say that, but sure. So now, I said, Katie's asking Tony to help her roll up something or another. And she says, I love Tony. And like, Tony has like a great heart, but like sometimes you really have to like encourage him, like, come on, Tony, like we really have to do this. It's like frustrating. Like we're all a team, but I don't believe in one person to do more than anyone else.

So. God. She's getting frustrated. She's getting frustrated. Yeah, but also getting frustrated. She's getting frustrated. It's like really frustrated. It's really frustrated.

I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated. And they haven't really showed a lot of this or shown a lot of this this season, right? This is like a new storyline that Katie's just mad at Tony for not ever keeping up. But you know, but like Tony has been Loki kind of been his like he's like a he's kind of slow, you know, and this can be one of those storylines where he's slow, but she is maybe like now that she's hooking up with the boasting,

think she might have a little bit more authority than she does. And so it's like a perfect combination. And then we take sides and we realize they all are wrong, you know? Yeah, typical. But she's like, okay, Tony, we can do better, Tony. All right, do better, Tony. And then she goes and cuddles with Ross.

And he's like, oh my God. He's still annoying. So someone compliments Fraser, they're like, oh my God, Fraser, like, you know, you're doing great or whatever. And so then he passes them and the captain's like, oh, they're just lovely aren't they? Oh my God, leave your cabin every once in a while. They're fucking lovely, pushing them over the boat. Okay, it's 33 knots out there. Now's the time to throw them over board. Get rid of them. You know, what I've witnessed with Fraser is that he's changed. He's happy. He's engaged. He's let himself out of the

piss and move to Seattle. He met Roz. He has a TV show. His radio show. He's got his brother. He's got his dad. He's got the dog. He's a changed man now. Oh, we're talking about the the chief stew. Yeah, he's doing pretty good too. Happy for him. Yeah, he's doing great. He's going to have his spin off. Although Niles refused to be in it. So maybe that shows, you know, something we can work on the future. But it's for it's for the end of my arc on this show. Wow, look at me. I just fixed Fraser. So wow. Oh, sorry. Frazier. His name is Frazier. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. So thunderstorm approaching. And then

Tony tells Ben that Katie's always bought Tom. Katie's always bossing me around. So of course, Ben is like, she said, if she's at it's that's rude. You know, Ben sort of, I don't always love Ben's hot takes. They're sort of right. They're sort of wrong. And for some reason, Ben's annoying his fuck. And all he does is flick his hair and look into the camera like he's a model. And he sticks up for Camille. So Ben can definitely win with me. He's not going to win with me.

So then Ben says something. It feels like a euphemism. What he's trying to say is I's like, I noticed right away that Katie is very much her own woman, you know what I'm saying. Mm-hmm. Tony's gonna get annoyed. He's an island boy. He's free-spirited.

And if you tell him what he's gonna do, he's gonna explode. So like, everyone has to care to tell what Tony, like he's like, hey, I noticed that Katie is, is bossy. That's what he wants to say. A bossy woman. And then, but like Tony is a free spirit. So like, like if you, if you mess with that,

he's gonna explode. So everyone has to cater to Tony. Tony's personality traits, but Katie is expected to change hers. I don't know, I'm getting like myself whipped up over two people I really don't care about. Yeah, I don't really care about any of these people. But he's like, yeah, I don't know what Katie is so bullseye, but that's definitely the first thing I picked up when she walked on

board. She's very much her own woman. And this island, say on this island, it's for the promo clip, it's for the promo clip on this island. Good job, good over here hugs. I've changed Ben. Look how much I've helped Ben. You're on this trip. So let me go over to Fraser and Haley, and he's like, I'm so proud of you. Your character is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is Captain saying that? Why would Fraser, Fraser is like, I just got the nicest message from Captain Sandy.

She said, I'm proud of you. You're in it to win it, which is funny because I didn't know we were winning anything. And your character's shining through. You're an incredibly human to be able to rise out to the best phrase. So can't wait to see you Thursdays at 9.30 after sign failed.

Okay. Teamwork meets the dreamwork. Thank your team captain, cheers. And you're way to your nap. Okay. I've kept it, Sandy. So then she passes by, you know, just to see probably if he's checked his messages yet.

And he's like, I've just seen your message. It meant so much to me. It shows, yeah, well, you deserve it. You know why? In it to win it. Okay. This is epic for you. God, I love you.

Yeah, now if you hold on, I'm gonna go back to my room and meet Text you a few more cliches. How do you feel about cookies, crumbly and then milks, you know, crying over spilled milk? Because that's the way it happens and that's what you're not going to do, huh? Captain Sandy cannot leave even a guest tent on the show without completely fixing somebody, you know. Yeah, so funny. So then Katie is frosting Tony around more. She's like Tony, clean up Sunday

before it's like a tsunami. I'll go to the bridge deck. You do that. But I'm going to be on bridge deck. Please don't do it wrong. Okay. Oh my god. I feel like you're doing it wrong. Okay. Soon I mean, do you understand? Do it right, Tony? Psych, oh my god. Yeah. And then Sandy is telling Ross that she didn't sleep last night because of the wind And so she's gonna go into port as soon as she can so Ross tells the team to be ready and then And then the hailey is talking to Tyler and she's like, that's my birthday today. I came into the world today I ruined my mom's vagina

So Fraser take some So Fraser takes some orders, some breakfast orders, and then he's just going down all the food allergies. It's like, okay, Lecchew wants French toast, but with no meat, Susan wants French toast, only the egg, not the bread, but in a square shaped no syrup, molasses or on that's what I'm doing. It's ridiculous and Rachel's like fucking got horrors. So now it's time to make it into poor it's windy so Sandy's telling us trying to dock when if there's a storm out is never fun. You know, you think as a captain, hopefully the engine will run. I don't want to lose steering on my bow thrusters run. You know, will a teacup fall off of a shelf somewhere? Will the windshield wipers work just in case there's a little bit of a spritz radio? Can we get AM on this thing? I need

to know the news in the traffic, you know? Distorts really deliver babies sometimes. Wow. The things you think when you're in the wind. Oh, Ben, you're gonna have to throw that line 60 feet. If not, we're all gonna die on this island. It's been. It's like, God it.

She's like, wow, we're safe. I know, there was a lot of like master in commander music. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. That might be pirates. Be the way to like dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And he just throws a rope. So John is walking around in this weird, medded,

toga crop top, weird ass, it's a weird ass outfit. Okay. So he's walking around and someone's like, oh my god, I love your weird, net toga, weird, weird outfit thing. And's like, oh my god. I love your weird net toga weird weird outfit thing And he goes, oh thank you. I got it from Once again every backstory on Bravo takes place in to loom this year

So what happened in to loom this fast year? Was it like the only place open? What the hell everybody was in to loom? Everyone went to loom so now such a loser. I went to Cabo San Lucas. What a Focking loser. Yeah, you missed out. So now Sandy's texting hey Norma just following up on getting another stew Give me a call and you get a chance. I don't know if you're too busy Sticking your face at the bottom of a Ben and Jerry's container, but there's actual work to do. Thanks sticking your face at the bottom of a Ben and Jerry's container, but there's actual work to do, thanks. So then breakfast is delivered and they want more gifts. The cash one's all the stuff again. She wants yogurt. She wants pears on the side. She's just asking for things again. Who asks for that? That's one of the funniest things. She goes, um, yeah,

they just serve French toast and omelets. And she she goes can I have some pairs on the side? pairs That is not just a common fruit people have lying around okay that weird meaty sandy fruit It's an odd choice for the breakfast. It really is So Rachel's like eat mine. Cuderd. That's the way to feel about it. And then Laura is like Laura gives Captain Sandy some props. She gives her basically like a velvet robe and a crown and a scepter and she goes, so well on behalf of Mrs. Classic Universe, we have a campaign to protect you from cheaters like David and this this this crown. everyone knows that you're real

for real and this chapter for any bad behavior may encounter from David again. Ah, ah, ah. Congratulations captain Sandy. Now someone asked for a pair and I was told to just pull it out of my ass and I actually have literally just squatted and a pair came out. So here you go, Likki enjoy enjoy that one. Yeah. So now it's time for the guest to leave. That everyone lines up.

Laura gives a little speech. She does the pageant wave and the group heads off onto the dock. But then Likki, Likki gets lost on the dock, which I don't know how you do that. I feel like you just walk with the rest of the pack of women, you know? I don't think any of them were really friends. I think this was one of those things that they all got, they entered, so I think I've said this before, but they entered some raffle and they all went tickets and they just kind of ended up there together. And the Keesh maybe didn't like them. She's like, I'm gonna go this way. Then she's like, wait, I'm lost. And everyone else is just running

from LeKeish. Yeah, I'm just trying to get away from her. Yeah, so hey, they say what is she doing? And for just like no one's sure where she was like, where is she going and for just like No one's sure probably to head She's no clue where she's going as she looks like a fault in the wind and The captain's like okay For one of my final solos this evening, turn this board around, fill it full of passion. So Frazier is going to do some stew toilets and headly say, consider yourself lucky,

don't love to shit staying in this toilet. Rachel goes, women. And then Ben pulls Ross aside and says, hey, just so you know, Katie's getting kind of bossy, which I just feel like it's not Ben's place to do that if he's not the one having the issue with Katie. I feel like that's, although I guess it's since he's the lead that can,

he has to observe these things, but still. And Ross's like, I've noticed, Katie's quite assertive and Tony's like, why am I being told what to do by someone who's at the same level and job position and potentially lives in a tree in the off season? She looks like a keeper after she not. What I want to do is knit that in the bud right before it spins into anything else. I'd just like to get a little sperm out first. That's all right of you. So now they're in the Sky lounge and captain's like, wow,

to get meaning, Chartered number seven. How do you think that happened? Considering I let someone go on day one and Frazier's like, it was the best charter. I'm your best little boy, captain. Sandace is like, wow, Frazier, Frazier, you're like John Cod van Dam in a room full of You're like John Cod Van Dam in a room full of oddly foreign but not necessarily describedably foreign men killing it. Yeah, you know, the energy on this chip, the ship has totally changed. Okay, it's like a total reset. Fraser is killing it and he's in it to win it. He's he's gonna win it and then he's gonna kill it.

That it he killed a clown a clown and a gutter, but he also won the clown and I am so proud of him. I'm this island. Well, I'm hugely appreciative to feel appreciated. It tickles me like nothing else. Look at my face. My tickled tickled face okay you guys all meet five dollars okay everyone

they didn't even leave one of the plastic tears behind well you know at least Fratier's a good person now thanks to me and Rachel's like okay cool and Katie's like this is the worst tip of the season so far. And like with everything we did, I think it's like kind of a slap on the face. It's frustrating. And I say this to someone who willingly gets slapped in the face by planning after Ross. It's literally a relationship of being slapped in the face. So enjoy your birthday celebration tonight at Burger King. Okay.

Which is how you can afford after this share. Go out, find her. So you get back to cleaning and now we see Katie being bossy and she's like, all right Tony, come on, let's move faster. I mean, we just got to get this shit done. Okay, Hey Tony, you want to put that back down? Hey Tony, you want to go over there? Hey Tony, you want to roll this up? Hey Tony, there's an owl over there. Go look at it. Just kidding. It wasn't an owl. It's a piece of trash. You put them in the garbage. thanks. Katie, Katie, Ross, meet me on the Sunday, but meet my penis first on the stairs, please. Listen, Katie, I know that you are very proactive and assertive and we need to respect

each other in our positions or sexual positions. If you know what I'm saying, okay, back to boss mode. So the bossy bit needs to be needs to have one back a little bit so I mean right right but Tony is more delicate in this kind of thing and it's winding him up well I'm not doing it in the mean way alright I feel like I work 10 times harder than am yes yes and I love that you're assertive yeah but that's why it's getting mad at me because like I'm telling him what to do without interrupting if that's okay. Okay, he's not said this to me, but I've seen it. Got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. Can you listen? Is it possible for you to

listen? You're stuffing out a line with little elf frustrated. This is like you mad at me and she's like, no honey, I have chaffa skin and that she starts doing that thing where she makes her ponytail 10 times. She's like, oh, maybe my ponytail. I'm gonna make it again. I love you. Yeah, she leaves putting it through the loop. It's like, I love Katie. However, it's up to me to tell her firmly what she should or shouldn't be doing when I feel guilty that I've crossed the line in yawning, there's a saying, don't screw the crew. And it's for situations just like this.

Katie? Yeah. Please come give me a blowjob. All right, let's do it. I'm not too bossy or anything. I don't want to be a hypocrite. So, uh, Rachel Farts, somewhere Rachel Farts, and then Katie wants to take a shower.

And Ben says, she's not happy with you. Is she, I don't even know what that is, but he said it. Maybe. There's some, there's some fart talk. You know when it's the clean, clean section, me. Maybe. There's some part talk. You know when it's the clean, clean section, I'm not really sure what to write down. So I just write clean, clean, clean, clean, clean.

Same, that's what I do. But I wrote down that quote randomly. It was just been talking to Ross. I mean, she's not happy with you, is she? So that was time for the preference sheet meeting. And Sandy's like, okay, I'm gonna tell you what, okay, I read this and I was like, hmm, I was like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, things that make you go, hmm.

Or maybe if we open a pop chips bag, things that make you go, wow, Jackie Clompton, commercial wheel estate financier and president of a mortgage firm joined by a group of business associates. They'd like a steel drum playing at their dinner. Beach games with the crew, that's original, okay. Oh, maybe you could do a nightclub night. That's what they, what did this make you go? Wow.

Why? Literally you've done all of the stuff 10 times this season. I know. Don't live, don't build a commercial real estate Personette. Okay, these are lame-ass people asking for the same lame-ass things. I just I just was listening to my old cassette of CNC music factory, so I just was Saying mm-hmm a lot. So anyway, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. All right Are we ready for this? We're gonna rock rock and roll. We're going to move your souls. These people will challenge you on every level. All right, Captain. Is there any update on the crew, the new crew? It's like, oh, it's challenging. Because Norma's basically a toddler with a pack

of new ports in her shirt sleeve. So you know, I'll check in on it. And then we cut to Haley talking to her boyfriend. And this is pretty much exactly how you would think their conversations would go. That camera is writing her face, she's lying down on one of the bunks. And she's like, my nose hurts, I'm picking it. And he goes, oh yeah, you eating them. She's like, yeah, me bump her too.

He's like, oh yeah, you picking your' them. Check it out. I mean, bumpers too. He's like, oh yeah, you pickin' your ass. Yeah, it smells, it's like this, it's disgusting. I'm like, oh I'm coming, coming with my finger at my nose. It's time for commercial, it's time for... Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums.

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. The Rapids commercial! You can phrase her, meanwhile, has sourced the cake for the birthday celebration, and he's like, I got her cake. I got her cake that has her amazing hair on it and a fog hold because she has one of the loudest voices I've ever heard in my life. And we have a montage.

We just hear a hilly burping loud. What was that, my ass? She's making the loudest noise. I can't do it because of Michael. I just say random things. She's like, oh my vagina's falling off. And then they cut to her and another thing going, Mary Poppins is out and she's moist. Right. And then a text from Norma comes in,

Hey stupid face, I've got a stew for you. Her name is Leanne. And she used to be on a show called Something About Dallas. And she said she's excited to get on the boat and punch some whot holes in her mouth. Leanne, and she used to be on a show called Something About Dallas, and she said she's excited to get on the boat and punch some holes in the wall. So get excited for that, stupid. Oh hi, I'm glad they let you add a kindergarten class long enough to text me norms. That's great. Took you a really long time to find one person.

Are you trying to make up for that? I pick on someone with two first names. Because yeah, well, you know, it's more of just a test to see if you could read a sentence that was had two names in it. It was long enough for that for your brain. Not my best work. Okay, sorry, I apologize. It's all right.

I can't wait to get off to my own, spend a long weekend with you. Cash. Oh yeah, hey, let me know where you wanna meet up It's all right, I can't wait to get off to my own, spend a long weekend with you. Gosh. Oh yeah, hey, let me know where you want to meet up, and I'll be sure to not be there. Listen, you're never gonna leave, because we're gonna meet up is this island, this island. This island.

Love you. Yeah, I guess I love you too. Also in the mess, Hayley is like, Hey Tony, smell it Tony. Smell it Tony. Smell it. So I don't know, I think it's a towel or something she wrapped on herself.

And Tony's like, so, uh, Fraser, what did you know you were gay? You guys fuck off. The fuck. She know you were gay. Tony, what did you know you were obsessed with eating chips? And then what did that turn into an obsessive working out, um, the habit that you have in the morning and cry if you don't get to engage in it?

Oh, too shay. So for age of talks, but how we tried to date girls, but he couldn't fuck them in that like one time he like got really like he was gonna try to have sex and then his like dick flopped out onto her vagina and they're all cracking up and there this was all happening on a beach and then like a jellyfish through long on the beach and a jellyfish came came like washed up and stung her on the neck and he's like I was so grateful about quite as interruptrupters. Oh, no kidding.

He's like, I think for John, this is after Deppin' it. And Haley's like, so then coming up, new girl, everybody's getting ready and here comes someone's coming up. Leanne, yeah. And so Haley is telling us that it's time to go out, but she would really just love to sleep, but she sees the cake and Rachel sees the cake and say, Oh my God, this cake is freaky as fuck.

Like, what the fuck with this cake? It is pretty scary. Yeah, because there's like a basically a photo of Haley on the side, you know how they could put photos of people on cakes, but then there's like red, frost, red piping coming out of the photo to represent her hair. It's just sort of weird, but it looks oddly vaginal in a weird way, which is the most appropriate cake for Haley. It looks like a birthday party clown hair. Like for girls, you know, like those real, real thick yarn.

Right. I mean, yeah, it's real creepy. So she comes out in the crazy blue belt fit and sees the cake. And it's like, I'm a gold. I want to shove my head in that cake. I mean, gold is this everywhere. It's going to be come everywhere all over that cake. I'm like, gold, make my disk, make me lose my gizz. All right.

I wonder how does how did Fraser order that cake? Did he, I would never think to order a cake. Did he say, I want a cake and I want her face on the side and I want red piping coming out of her scalp to look like hair? Is that what he did? Is it like a standard cake? I've never seen a cake like that before.

I don't know. I think this is one where they let the PA take over. And it just turned into a very scary moment. So now they're like parting on the bar and he's like, oh God, I love a shit. I really do. So then she's telling everyone they're like family and licking the cake and stuff. And she takes a big huge bite of the cake and drops the cake. And she's like, oh my god, thanks, thanks everybody.

Thanks for being better than vaginas on a pie plate. Or whatever, if you don't go on. And then Katie, oh, sorry. I was gonna say, I wonder if the cake was sweet. Is that here? That's like some cakes are sweet. Yaaas! It's got so sweet. It's got so sweet. Y'all! It's got so sweet.

It's got so sweet. So Katie pulls Tony aside. And she's like, oh, Tony, I just wanted to say, like I'm sorry about seeing her around. And he goes, it's okay, it's okay. She goes, no, no, it's not. I really don't mean to do it. And he goes, no, no, it's okay. And she tells us, I want to apologize because I don't want them to be upset.

Like I get it. Guys don't like to be bossed around by girls. So like I get it. I just need to be bigger and better than this. Yeah, just strive to be better, strive to work within the patriarchy. I guess that seems like what she's saying. I'll just work with the patriarchy.

So then Haley is like, nobody likes to be bossed around. I don't think it's like girls. I think it's like, you know, he just does like being bossed around and you're getting too comfortable bossing people around. Like you're at the same level, you know?

But men are particularly, you know, babies about it because men are very happy to be bossy to women. If the roles, we've seen the roles reversed a million times on this show with the dekis, and it's just so funny how a woman does it. Not saying that is justified, but how the men are like, oh, and then they go and complain. So now Haley is like, oh, absolutely love today. I mean, last year, a dog consumed my whole birthday cake and left a trail of pink sick all over my pants.

So it's got to be better than last year, isn't it? Isn't it? It met, isn't it? So, Rachel just wakes up and is like, fuck me with that chainsaw! No, I've tried that actually. You don't wanna do that. Yeah. Most things in life are

fuckable. Not change or sterling. I wonder if that's why YouTube is suddenly serving me ads about chainsaw attachments for drills. Like it was, I saw this ad and I was like, Hey man, you want to turn your, your, your, your like this kind of song into a chainsaw, just add by this and put it on it. Now you got a chainsaw. I was like, wait, what, what, what, why, why am I a chainsaw, chainsaw target audience? And maybe they know about your new hobby. Murder. I am, you know what, I actually am wearing flannel today. So maybe they're like, you're going to wear flannel tomorrow. We already know it. So here get ready for Jane's arc content Um

That little that little chuckle Like here here comes but get those ads served So Ross It comes to have a meeting with his team and he's like a politicized for being late today I was having a massive wink in the bathroom. I was waiting for him to say just kidding, but that never arrived. I just, this was an phrase that's like,

what year is it on these boats? You know what I mean? I mean, what decade is it still on these boats? Is it like that Netflix show on the boat where everybody's like stuck on the boat in the 1800s? Like what's going on? Is it the 1800s or 2023? You don't know and you never really find out Yeah, so

Fraser tells us Tyler if he's feeling okay and Tyler's like yes So that was Tyler's big moment of the episode and like, um, I was born on Friday the 13th. P said, give me someone who likes to win and is in it. So together, she's going to be in it to win it. Okay, guess what? Here she is. Her name is Lee Ann and she's a former chief stew. Okay, Fraser, come on, this is your final test. Are you going to be crestfallen?

Are you still going to be in it to win it? That's the way the cookie crumbles. Can't have your cake, you need a chew, even if it's sweet cake. Okay? He's like, chief steel experience. Oh God, we've got two roads here. She could come in and start doubting me. Or the other roaders, we've got someone we can put anywhere and they're going to be happy to assist. Hopefully we're going to have latter. But oh God, oh god, oh god. Hey, phrase. Yeah, listen, there's not two roads on the ocean.

There are no roads. Hey, where we're going, we don't even need roads. You know what I'm saying, deck? That's a reference to dock. I listen, take it this way. Her name is Leanne. But if you really think about what that rhymes with, you man. Fixed him, fixed phrasier. So then the deck cruise covering furniture, phrasier is showing Haley, the CV of this new Leanne lady. And Haley is like, oh, she's stew is she. Oh my God, I've got to get the cabin ready. She'll be disgusted. It's like the only time Haley has offered to clean to impress anybody. So this is going to make Fraser unravel quickly. Yeah. And Fraser says, he tells Katie, he's like, he's going around every, he's like the town

cryer. He's like, here, here, here, you used to have absolutely awful here. I'm just gusted in myself. New chiefs do, I mean, stew on the way in her name. She's called Leanne. She's called, he keeps saying she's called Leanne as if like, she's a product in a store. Have you seen that new chief stew you can buy? It's called a Leanne. Yes, she's coming on board. And so she's walking down the dock and the guys, of course, are all up there like, you know, puppies waiting to get fed. Fucking guys fed fucking guys are all the same. They're like tons wagging like watching the tiny dot become an actual sized woman and Fraser just runs down the dock.

He's like, and then Ben sees and he's like, oh, he makes a lot of ur noises. He's like, oh, I think I know her. Oh, oh, get out of town. Oh can't write this stuff Actually, it's literally written In every story so she comes in Leana's like is that been and he's like oh God I made this girl on Tinder about a year ago I've never met her and we both have needs of each other on all phone We decided to sext and he she is and she's what a surprise what small world hey. And Ross is like never consummated then I'm going to enjoy this and Lee and now

we get to now we meet Lee and his the best part of you while you're watching is the boys. Yo jokes jokes I love jokey. I'm such a joke. You know, I love the jokes. You know, she's gonna be the most humorless person on this boat. And be like, hey, Leanne, looks like you forgot that spot over there just kidding. I don't see what's funny about that because I take my book very seriously. She's like on from Kate Tine and then we see her picture. It's a little girl with a cat. Like, the like here's here's everything you need to know about Leanne yeah, it'll go with the cat She goes oh what my safe up to shape Steve with hard work and dedication and previewing everyone wrong because all our keen

Do this and all we have to do this and she goes up to meet Sandy and Fraser's like oh my god I'm loving this fall and she's like, People describe me as a bit of a charm boy. I'll explain. I look most poor. I love adrenaline. I love jumping out of airplanes. Not my normal female would do. It's so funny, isn't it? It's only on Instagram. Literally, I could, for ages, literally. And then he's like, I'm warning you now. I think we have some similar inclination in the bedroom and I just can't read it and that is who's Dirty so sexual of six was being Insta six was being oh my god this chick is nuts. I know she is nuts

And I thought I was funny that when she said she likes jumping out of here Plains they showed a picture of her just jumping into a pool to like well This is the person with the cat. Yeah, not quite the same, not quite the same drama. I was like, what a tomboy. So then sand, then sand, he's like looking out and just, Hey, is that Captain Lee? And then Captain Lee's like, it is Captain Lee. I just landed. I'll be there in an hour.

Oh, look, look, that seems like an hour, but you never know this island. So then Leon's looking at her new room and she's like, what's a miss? And then now it's another way to Haley would tick me in the room. She was picking stuff off the floor and then she put something up to her nose and sh- Yeah, it smells like me. something up during the oz and shit. Yeah, it smells like me. Hey, everyone, let's have a meeting. Okay, everybody, welcome. Okay, hey, I have an update for you. Okay, I'm now running on Yellowstone OS. I've been updated. Okay, there we go. So charter guests, they don't arrive to 1 p.m. and it's kind of bittersweet for me because I have grown

Thund of all of you, you know, all you people who I have fixed and today Captain Lee comes back to this island. Oh, thank you so much for being the captain. I don't know why I'm so emotional You know, it's like at the beginning of a flipper flap, you see Fraser, a run down gay who just doesn't believe in himself. And by the end, he's got great towels, great floors and great walls and someone buys him and the couple makes a couple of hundred thousand dollars. And I think, gosh, my work here is done. Onto the next.

Yeah, you know, I'm so grateful for this crew's hard work and dedication. It's like we were in the trenches together, except we were just in a gorgeous Caribbean port in a lap of luxury. So what they've got due to this point is pretty awesome. Like the time they had to put some gold leaf in a stake or the time they had to serve drinks to people who are bossy. God, they've been through so much together. This is officially my last song of my journey here with you. Let's do a cabaret style this time. Turn the beat around. So clean, clean, clean, the round. So clean, clean, clean, and very dramatic music plays as a golf car arrives and Captain Lee comes out with a cane and walks slowly to the boat and

Sandy's like, how you doing? Did they find out what happened to you? And he's like, ah, it's inflammation of the sciatic. God damn it, man. I'm so goddamn glad to be back. I feel like I'm back where I belong here on a boat of broken people. Actually, I kind of fixed them all. God damn it. It's been every day in physical therapy, walked around and lost people around and doctors have assured me that I'm not gonna damage myself anymore by working And I'll be goddamn if anything's gonna keep me from it. So here I am everyone back on the boat Okay, so I didn't wrap your mind like that. I have something to tell you. Alyssa's gone in subordination Ah, really? Yeah, you know

This is gone in support mission. Ah, really? Yeah, you know, uh, okay, Sandy, I mean Captain. And she's lucky she went on a donkey scale on the side of a mountain to get the hell out of here. Yeah, you know what? Sandy did the right thing. They needed to go. If they needed to go, they needed to go.

And she's the one who had to deal with it. And I'm sure she made the best decision for the boat and the crew. Undesignment? Yes, yes, on Designland. Okay, well I'm going to go ahead and hand over the reins, okay. He goes, thanks for coming and bailing me out. She's like, thanks for coming and bailing me out. And then they laugh.

He laughs at Sheila. I don't think they like each other. I'm sorry. Oh, maybe one day I'll return the favor with the They laugh. He laughs a Sheila. I don't think they like each other. I'm sorry. Maybe one day I'll return the favor which I fucking won't she was oh hold on a gotta call Hello, it's me captain Lee coming on the way from the airport Disciland this island This island you're not a real you're not the real captain Lee the real cap. He's young. You're a you're a topper

Yeah, so we don't know who this captain is, you know So the band meanwhile Ben is acting like he's acting like he's out of some sort of Movie where like there's a beloved headmaster that comes back to school. He's like running to the hall. Like, cop is back, cop is back. Everyone, cop is back. He's like ringing bells. He's got like ribbons in his hair. I can't wait to tell you how much captain say these told me about wind. I know. You know what? I hope for the crew having kept the lead back that they shine and they show them how far they've come. And I hope he gets to witness that and walk away knowing that he's healthier, he's better and he finished with an excellent clue that is in a geographical

location where there's victory. In other words, in it to win it. All right, everybody. I'll crew all crew. Thank you, everyone other words, in it to win it. All right, everybody. I'll crew all crew. Thank you, everyone. Now get your asses back to work. And that's the end of that. Now I was a little confused to someone who I could use.

How could you ignore Sandy's final pep talk to Fraser? Sandy gets into her polo shirt. I mean, regular clothes now and freezer. You're incredible. You know, there was a time when I just reserve those words for Tyler when he was polishing silverware. But now you, you are the silverware polisher metaphorically. You know what? I'm gonna leave you with one thing and it's gonna be a gift from me to you. And that's a hug. Come on, give me a hug. Give me a hug, Fraser. And he says Captain Sandy taught me a lot. Yes, we had our ups and downs, but I looked up to her enormously. And I think what? Wait, I'm very confused because reading stuff about this season, everyone seems so pissed off. Like Rachel's not coming back to

Bravo. She had her whole dramatic week on Twitter and I think it was mostly about Austin control Austin control Austin Crowle from Southern Charm hating him But I figured something went down on the season to piss her off And I figured that kind of would have been with the whole captain drama with Sandy and Fraser and Alyssa and all of that stuff That was going on the past couple of weeks. And then I thought Fraser, I've been getting the impression through comments that he's left that he has some drama or something with Sandy. So I'm so confused. What is happening? I don't know, but we'll have to just keep our eye on this situation. All right, everybody.

Well, thank you so much for being here. Go get live show tickets over at watchwhatcrapins.com. That's also where you can find links to our bonus, our video episodes, sorry, or video recap episodes, and our crappies on demand, the actual award show, which is up for two more days over at moment. So we love you guys, thanks so much for being here. Bye.

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