Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Sailing: Everything Everywhere All At Once

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

This week on Below Deck Sailing Yacht, a group of high maintenance idiots make life hell for Daisy her understaffed department. Meanwhile, a new deckhand named Barnaby comes on board, and we're pretty sure he's going to murder someone.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watcher Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Karim. Hi Ronnie. How are you? Well, how been news? What you doing? Hi

I'm podcasting with you. That's what I'm doing. What are you doing? I am trying to pull figure out how the threads work on those little tags that they sew so deeply into your shirts on the side. Like it was rubbing up against my muffin top and I was like, fuck it, I'm pulling this thing off, but then I ripped the whole shirt. So now everyone's a shirt. No. So now I'm trying to figure out how exactly they sew this thing on so that you can never get them off. And then it has the thing that says cut the tag off, but then you still got that piece of hard fabric that's going to be hitting you in the left handle. Can we just reinvent this? That's my request. Carry on. It's so funny because I was also having an issue with a tag. I have some shorts on. And

I was just like, you know, my hands were just here. And there is a, apparently there is a big old tag in my fly. And all of a sudden I was like, what is happening there? I was not diddling myself just that I had managed to like brush by it. And I was like, what is all that crinkling coming from my crotch? And then I was like, who puts a tag right in the fly?

So that I was having a similar, I was also having a tag issue. I mean, listen, we've come so far in this world with, you know, we're reading our news, our TV, everything is on a phone now, okay? We've come so far and you're putting tags and weeners, okay? You're putting tags still on my love handles. Get rid of this shit, okay?

And Marshalls, I get that you have a 599 price thing. I don't want to spend an hour ungluing it from the goddamn coffee cup, okay? Let's figure out tax price pricing. I know. Let's get on top of that, okay? Let's hear some other things that we should figure out. I mean, you don't need to figure out what to do with hideous people,

like the people who are on below deck sailing out this week, because these guests, wow, I mean, it's amazing the casting work they've done this season on Blodex sailing out really since last season. We've just had so many terrible guests on this show, and these people are terrible. They're not the worst, because it really is going to be hard to ever beat Erica Rose and her husband earlier in the season. But these people were all pieces of shit, like through and through pieces of shit, like through and through pieces of shit. Oh, yeah. These people are absolute garbage garbage.

Garbage. I mean, it was hard even picking one, because normally there's like one garbage person. And then the other people are kind of mortified by their garbage friend. But this one, you've got the doctor garbage. You've got her husband, who she calls Gordo, which is Gordo, which is garbage review to call him.

And also he's garbage. He's Gordo garbage. And then you've got Dino. My God. Garbage. Biggest garbage. You're all trash. Biggest garbage. You're all trash. Just so many different layers of trash. Yeah, so anyway, we're not cleaning and you never get to see anybody take out the trash.

And I think that that's the most frustrating thing on this show Every other show on Bravo you get to see trash get told off not on this show on this show We just accept the trash and take their money, all right. I know That's true. No one ever gets their come up in on this show And you like to think that then when it airs that I I think maybe that's why people get so fired up with the below deck, because we feel like it's our duty to fill the internet with so much rage and hostility that it's the telling off that they never got,

because the staff has to get their tip, right? But like, as viewers, we're the ones who have to chime in. The missing N.D. This is what, this is for, this is for Daisy. This is for Daisy. Yeah, it's kind of a create your own Bravo ending, you know. Yeah, I know actually is my lead. You know what I hate?

Oh, because this happens sometimes too, is like when there's a guest and they're so awful and you just are like, ah, fuck these people. And then like the stews go on to like watch what happens live or like they do an interview like, actually, that we're so Lovely you only saw the way it's possible to watch with them like no no hate them you have to hit once you have to stay hating them Stay hating them until they have a redemption Reappearance, but you have to stay hating them That's my that's my soap box. Well, this is this is definitely one of those episodes.

Yeah. So, anyway, while we just dive into it, so the episode opens up with Gabriella still walking off into the sunset, because that, you know, it's been two weeks since the last episode, so she's been slowly walking down that pier for 14 days. And Gelen's like, oh, I'm a little sad to see her because I really like her. I think we all really like her. Oh, that's too bad, you know, and then Daisy is telling us, oh I feel like a muscle failure. I feel like I failed Gabriela. I failed myself and I failed the crap. Just like that, say that's it. Yeah. So she pulls Ashley aside and she's like,

how do you feel, Ashley? What do you mean, how does she feel? She just got everything she's been working for this entire time. I'm sure she feels fucking great, Daisy. How about being less nice to Ashley after she just pulled all of this shit off? So Ashley's like, I'm really even,

but I'm worried like we're gonna get someone with more experience and then I'm going to have to do less and like even like get bossed around more. And they's like, well, I think it's for the best. This is not an idea, the situation for me and I, but I think it's the best thing for her. And just remember whoever comes on, they're going to be there. Might be a second stu-ser. Gonna have to listen to them little one. But I was listening to her, but I am gonna do this. I'm gonna move to the bottom bunk. Well, yeah, I think they should have at least listened. I don't like you at all.

I think you're a horrible, horrible person and a total moron. But listen, a girl who can't stay in the bed and who banged her head on the way down should probably be moved. But this show isn't really known for its safety scabbirds. Yeah, keep Ashley as close to the floor as possible. Okay.

So, um, so Daisy's like, Daisy's telling Gary like, well, you know, if we can't someone, if she's cute, like, try not to sleep on the cute girl, Gary. And Gary's like, well, if she's, I came into the season to find love. The girl I really like is named Izzy. She's really cool, she's funny, she's got a cute outkin. Ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh. Look, I can't, I can't deal with Gary.

And on top of that, you know, you know, as you may have picked up from some of our episodes, Ronnie and I have been playing Elden Ring. And something I've noticed, Ronnie is that when you kill just like generic bad guys in the field, they all go like this. Hup, hup, he just gets right back up to fuck you. I mean, it really is true to life that game.

So 7 a.m. the next morning and cleaning cleaning. Oh my gosh. Some with getting a text from Spanish Norma. There's a new deck can't come in an hour. Yeah, new deck hand is coming. And Marcos is saying that he's going to help out with the service and the plates and everything because they're gonna be a stew down and Glenn, yeah, the New Deck Hand is coming and here he comes It's Barnaby also known as below Dex male answer to Luandela Seps

He really looks a lot like Luandela Seps like man a man version of Luand. I can't tell if he's terrified or insane But he's I don't know if they're crazy eyes or like, it's like, I don't, I can't tell what's going on. I would normally say crazy eyes. I'm gonna stick with crazy eyes. I don't trust Barnaby. I think he's a scary person, okay? I'm a care.

I mean, he seems nice at first, but I'm gonna go out on a ledge and predict that he's a nightmare of a human being. He's got scary, scary eye expressions. I feel like he definitely caused someone to leave his boarding school. Like I feel like he was definitely the band leader of like a bunch of awful kids who were like, oh, right, if you want to be in the group. Oh, so you sent something to?

Well, I just got that sense of like, you know, when you see those movies, like, there's a boarding school and there's always some prank that there's always one guy who's like the, he's like the band leader and the prank goes awry. And then like, someone wants up dead or maimed or whatever. But or like someone is like, someone's like, or traumatized enough that they have to leave like, Saint Mary's school for Charmed Boys or something like that Like you definitely did something, you know

Yeah, I get some weird sense from him too So Kelsey's cleaning when he walks up and carries of course like go fast Go fast now you need to go fast And Barnaby walks up and he's like hello on Bombay and Kelsey's like Bombay? Bonaby Bon, Bonabee, Bonabee, Bonabee, booboo, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. That doesn't even sound like Bonabee. Come on now. Another one. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,

bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum Bubbling? Bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubb-bubbubb-bubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbub Okay, but she's like, hmm, but that Jesus here, it's kind of a no for me dog, kind of a no. Yeah.

Oh, I love when people like whip out Randy Jackson lines when nobody's auditioning for them. Like, he's not trying to be on you, all right, ma'am? That's a no for me dog. Like let him, let him sign up for the audition first. So Gary, yeah. Of course, and Gary does a real housewives thing here. Did you notice?

He's like, oh, pleasure. And then he totally body checks him up and down because Barnaby has the magic sauce, guys. He's extremely tall. And Gary's just, Gary just sees danger ahead. And then Ashley is like, is that a new man I hear? Like, he's just like turning on her juices. And Barnaby has a lot of sailing experience,

so they're all very happy and glums like, okay. So you understand the difference between a sheet and a hailyard? He's like, all right, so. Do you understand the difference between a cat and a dog? Oh, yeah, of course. Do you understand the difference between checkers and a dog? Yeah, of course. To understand the difference between checkers and chess. Of course, I'm just gonna keep asking you questions to you clean something.

So anyway, Barnaby gives a little bit of his backstory and he's like, when I grew up in Singapore and I started sailing when I was 11 and then died Butterburton, we started racing, it had to be realized, wow, we're quite good at this. And then of course, there was the incident at boarding school. And suddenly we were winning the SimCaPort,

Singapore National Championships. And no one was asking any questions about junior year of high school. And then I murdered him. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say that? I only met my eyes too. Oh, so let's see here. Colin and Gary are talking about what a nice boy.

Why don't you take him to your parents on my ride? So Gary's giving him the tour. And Kelsey's asking questions. And he's like, well, listen, I got very lucky on my CV. You'll see I've been in Greece teaching Biddy and he has had to foil. You know, my CV is Richard Bratz and Barack Obama. When you work on super yachts, you know, the kind of lifestyle they have, I see it and I want it so so bad. And the producer's like, so you're gonna get that my osmosis. And he's like, yes, or I know that that's, he wants that lifestyle so badly. I don't think he's gonna get that lifestyle

by working on a yacht. I just don't think one thing is gonna lead to the other, okay? You know, things can lead to it. It's just probably not this. But you never know. Hey, you never know. So he asked about the other guy who got like, oh, Kelsey's like, yeah, I mean, he was nice, but like, he ran us a ground. So he's like,

oh, well, all right, then. Well, I don't really have that much to live up to then, too, I brought. I mean, Kelsey, sorry. It's funny because when I was teaching Steve Jobs how to It's funny because when I was teaching Steve Jobs, how to put on a flipper, he never ran aground. I guess I'm that good, aren't I? So the guests are coming down the dock and you just know they're gonna be terrible. The first thing you hear is, hey is that the captain?

He's a little fella. Yeah, well I think everyone's a little fella compared to that guy. So then, so it's Dr. Nichols and they have to refer to her as Dr. Nichols at all times. And they come on board. At first, it seems fine. They're all getting the tour. But then they have a ton of luggage.

And that's always whenever they have a ton of luggage, like there's a strong correlation of like terrible behavior. Like we have never seen someone come onto any below deck with a ton of hard plastic luggage and they've been chill guests. Also, I don't think we've ever seen a night's person who's come on one of these shows that talks like this. Oh, it looks wonderful.

Like there's something about that voice. It never works out into like a really good person. There's something about hearing Gollum's voice that usually correlates with someone being a terrible yacht guest. Give me the ring. It's like, okay, doctor, okay. So we also know right away that I mean,

they're not even hiding it. It's like they're you shut up. You know, I think it's either all you, you're terrible. You're terrible getting rid of you. Sorry, close the door. Is your cleaning person there? Cleaning guy?

No, just be probably Amazon or some shit. Or the squirrel who's retaken up residence now that it's summertime and my front door. Oh, the squirrel took up residence. Well, he did. He came right back. He was here last year. I've worried about him all winter.

And then yesterday he came and put his hands on the front door, which is like glass. And so he's like looking in there waiting for me to bring him some food. I was like, well, you don't write. You don't call. Come on. It's funny. I saw my squirrel this morning. It was very lovely because I think I've told you,

I've got a squirrel highway next to my place. And there's just like a power line and so the squirrel in the morning just loves, like it's like the mall walkers, you know, except it's a squirrel on a power line instead. And every morning, just left and right. And we always see the shadow on the floor. Like, you have a perfect squirrel shadow

that just goes right across the living room floor. It's actually the cutest thing to see a little squirrel shadow. Like a little pushy tail. It's adorable. Okay, so we know, these people aren't even trying to hide that they're terrible people, right? So Daisy's working behind the bar, and Dino,

the old guy comes up and he's like, I want a double bacon, bloody Mary with two grilled shrimp. And she's like, no. No, it's like, what? Yeah, you heard me. A double bacon bloody Mary with two grilled shrimp. And then you hear Chris, the other guy who said little fella, he's the husband of the doctor. He's like, all right, I don't want grape, I don't want grapefruit.

I want grape juice, okay? And they're like, we have cranberry juice because no, no, no, like, all right, I don't want grape, I don't want grapefruit, I want grape juice, okay? And they're like, we have cranberry juice because no, no, no, no, not cranberry. Listen, you know what, people make wine with grapes, so I know you got grapes, you can make grape juice. So, like, there's a way to make this crazy order and not be an asshole about it. There's a way where you say, can I ask for like,

a really crazy bloody Mary, like, do you where you say, can I ask for like a really crazy bloody Mary? Like, do you guys, like, can you guys put like something crazy and like shrimp and bacon or whatever? Or something like that, or like, you know, there's this drink I really like, is it possible to make it, you know, there's a way to not be an asshole,

but they sort of just are like, I want you to do this for me. I want to this, I want something that's difficult to flex the fact that I am here on a yacht. I've been told that on a yacht, I can do whatever I want, and therefore I am going to like explore the space of whatever I want and that involves putting two jumbo shrimp in a bacon in my bloody Mary.

It's like, sir, you're not a Barton G, okay? You're not at the Hash House, a go-go, okay? Getting your jumbo shrimp and your bacon. I mean, that's just ridiculous. It's just bullshit, and they're obviously competing to see who could be the most asshole-ish with their order. You know, it's like, go fresh squeeze my grapes. Fuck you, dude.

So then the doctor is like, well, I'm easy, great goose and twine and with two. No, you're not easy because you carry this fucking piece of shit around and you inflict him on everybody else. So stop pretending to be the nice one. Okay. Yeah. By the way, this guy also could have just said it's it's ginger ale vodka and muddled grapes, which is more or less what she wants up doing. And he should have just said that, you know, like, I don't know,

really bothers me, really bothers me, like everything else. So it sounds like a fucking discussing drink. Let's, can we, let's, can we address that part too? What the best part about this is they're making Daisy do it. And Daisy is used to kind of standing back and letting the other ladies do most, you know, she's not really like a Kate Chastain.

I was like, I'll be serving, doing the beds, and then the toilets after, before I call you a bitch. You know, Daisy's gotten to pretty much stand back and delegate a lot of this stuff. And so Daisy has to actually do service and she gets totally fucked and she goes downstairs to Marcos. She's like, how's it going up there? And she's like, we're fucked! That's how it's going. Get me two shrimps. God, damn it, mother fuckers. Hope they die on a fire. So there's like a bell on the tequila bottle.

Apparently I've been saying Casa Azul, my cousin Melissa, has was very short Passover to point out that it's called, Casa Azul, not Casa Azul. So I apologize to everyone who's going not toa, Zool, not Kasa, as well. So apologize to everyone who's going not, especially to Shannan Mador, who I'm sure is listening. But they have that bottom, there's a bell on it. I don't know if that bell comes standard on that bottle or not.

But of course, these people, they're like monkeys in a science experiment. They see a bell and they're like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, which is like the last thing that anyone needs in the situation is also a bell going off. And Mark, you know, Mark, that seems like a really good chef. And he really talks himself up. He cracks me up. He's like, this charter, I'm going to do everything top of the line because I can tell these people want everything top of the line.

Enjoy your tiny little hamburgers. Like, okay, so sliders. everything top of the line. Enjoy your tiny little hamburgers. Like, okay, so sliders. Sliders. How do you get rid of 30% of the sliders? They're already so small. I mean, no, I can't fan sliders as it is. But then you also like take off the top part, like, come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, shoes. Here comes one right now.

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. All the ranting about the stupid bloody Mary being said, I have to agree what Marcos gave was very sad. They was like the small shrimp with a tiny little thing of bacon. You know if someone's going to be idiotic enough to make this ornate, an ornate bloody Mary request, at least put in some big shrimp and a giant thing of bacon. You know, you know, they're stupid. We do have to a giant thing of bacon. You know, you know, that's their stupid, stupid, stupid, absurd. Just have jumbo shrimp lying around.

You know what I mean? He didn't know he was going to be asking for grilled jumbo shrimp. Like, who the fuck just has jumbo shrimp lying around just in case? I mean, I know they're on the ocean, you know, but I live by a lake. I don't have a catfish in here, you know? You don't know. You have to prepare for that shit. So, yeah, Dino's, Dino's like,

it's a little weak under bacon. I need two stocks of bacon in there. And I asked a jumbo shrimp. What did it say? It says the tiny shrimp. What is this? The captain of a shrimp sailboat? So, uh, now they're leaving the dock. And then Chris, I think it was Chris, who is basically says, hey, can we get all our clothes steamed? So they want all their clothes, all like 500 suitcases, all to be steamed. Yes, Chris, you're fucking 80% ray on Marshall's Tommy Bahama knockoff shirt will be steamed. Don't you fucking worry about it, sir.

You're shiny golf shirt. So, and the thing is that Chris, I think, actually thinks he's being chivalrous because he says the doctor in their clothes, he goes, hey, honey's being chivalrous because he says the Darks and Nichols, he goes, Hey, honey, you don't have to steal anything from me this weekend. I'm gonna have the people to inform it. Don't worry, take a break this weekend, honey. So he's being like, hey, like, you don't wanna do anything when you're with me.

But then he's making his crazy unreasonable requests on the staff. Listen, I'm gonna treat my woman like a maid this weekend. I'm gonna treat the women maids like women maids this weekend. How about that? And there he is. There he is. So, um, basically, Daisy tells Ashley, she's like, Oh, that's why we won't be sleeping for the next three days.

So, there won't everything seem to not even know where to begin doing that. So, just start with the things that look mega-be-themed. And Ashley's like, is there a lot though? I don't even know why I had to begin doing that. So just start with the things that look made me think. And that's just like, is there a lot though? It's a lot. Actually, it's a lot. So then Chris, Chris, the husband is like, whoa, this is dope. Hey, you know what? Can I have a cosmone?

I said, oh my God, order another pain in the asterisk. Sir, is a mojito far behind? I know. And then on top of that, now they want, they have like some shes lounge is up there, but now they want like there's not enough for all of them, so they want some more. So now they have to like go arrange cushions for them all to be to have a shes lounge experience, you know, so they're just more and more requests coming in. Yes. So the captain's like, just put cushions on the fluid and then that'll feel like Lone Jews, which part of me hates that about this boat,

but part of me also loves it when it's guests like this. If it was other guests that I like, I'd be like put cushions on the floor, really. But for them, I'm like, yeah, put them on the fucking floor. Yeah. So Chris goes, let me give you a tip, huh? Listen, Han, when the drink gets warm, just get another one.

Don't force down Lukewarm drinks. No, that shit. We're on a boat. Like, wow, your wife got you a boat and you're acting like you've been little orphan Annie living in the mansion for a decade. Yeah, it's like the medieval thing of people just like eating their food and just throwing it off the table

when they're done with it. It's like, it's so wasteful. And I understand the idea of saying, like, listen, listen, honey, treat yourself. We are in an all-expans paid. It's all in here. We're luxuriating. You can, it's okay.

It's okay to ask for something before you're done. Like I sort of understand that impulse, but like in the context of like a whole, like them just making all these demands, they're just like obnoxious boars. Yeah. So let's see here, what else is happening on here? I hate these people so much.

That's really, that's really, that's my whole recap. Okay. So the captain wants to sail, of course. And it's the one time you're hoping that they just knock everybody the fuck on their face, right? But of course, they just sleep through it. So we get the majestic music and it's like, don't. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh We see the shelf that one shelf in the bedroom that always comes out and it's like, is it time to say oh? I wasn't you know every single time that one shelf under the bed

So now they want to go to another deck Yes, yes, they just want to go they want to mess up every room in the house right away basically Yeah, so Chris is like Ashley I got thirsty again help me hit calling Could you ask Ashley to help me out? And this is great. They have only nine drinks in five minutes. Okay. I guess I'm out of here. Oh, you know what? I want a cold time at can zero fuck you. Where have you been that you don't get your cold drink? Like he's acting like people have been robbing him of ice his entire life. He's like, I need more ice and just make it cold, honey.

Yeah, he's really ridiculous. And then Dr. Nickles finally wakes up. She's like, so I missed the whole sale. Is that what happened? Yes, you did miss the whole sale, idiot. So then and then Marcos now comes in. He's like, when I see my coworkers drowning, I need to help them out somehow. And a lot of the pressures for me Because if I have food sucks now we have a problem. There we go. I just helped them And I don't do anything else Imagine having a doctor like that, bro constant flu going to the doctor over time Yeah, I'm not gonna go New Ashley again, fuck that, too clingy, bro.

Collins, like, yeah, she's desperate, bro. Yeah, she's very desperate. You want to tell me some more? Gossip with me some more. And Gary's like, yeah, I wonder if the news do come in. She's into me, and I'm into her. I'm a trauma, that'll cause dead to be pissed off of me because I stopped flirting with her.

So, yeah, oh, no, no, no. And he can't say, part of me thinks she's digging it. Then the rational part of me thinks she wouldn't go knew you with a 40 for pull Sort of reminds me of one time I was on a boat and I met this one All right, I will put that story on the back burner also good day So Gary is now with Marcos and Ashley and Gary's like, so what do you think of the decade? I like him all right. I mean, pretty tall, friculously tall, but you know, it was a matter of liking.

And now she's like, well, then I guess it sounds like you lucked out. Yeah, well, maybe now I can get laid. Yeah. Uh, wait, why? I'm sure how he jumped to that. Yeah, she got, yeah. Not delicious. I guess he's saying, I guess he's saying like, yeah, I got, I got lucky with him.

Now, maybe I can get lucky in other departments. Oh, yeah, I think that's what's, and he's like, and she just like rolls rise. It let's go. Um, I think you already did. You just don't remember. And he's like, oh, whoops, whoopsie. I was, it was one of those things where I was like, Gary, what are you talking about? So then doctor is in the hot tub. And she's like, this isn't

warm enough. I'm so happy. This isn't warm enough. I need this warm. I'm like, someone's got to warm this morning. Yeah, and so now Gary is running to go fix the hot tub. And then now the guest wants even more cocktails and Dino is going, are we too high maintenance Ashley? And then as she goes away, he sort of mutters, you know, too fucking bad. Yeah, can we get some snack daddy? Can we get some snack? Do you know what we want?

Some oysters on the half shell. So Ashley's like, um, Chef, they want some more snacks. Like they're asking for like clams casino. So yeah. So now he's making these oysters slash clams casino. And now that now Chris wants to say on Sarah, I mean, these people have no rhyme or reason of like what they're drinking at any given moment. So now we want a san ser.

And now it's time to figure out what time is dinner. What you know is can be a whole issue. So Zartre Nichols goes, okay, Daisy, dinner is gonna be at nine o'clock, nine p.m. Dinner at nine o'clock. And Chris's like, no, no, no, not nine p.m. 10, 30, he's like, no, 10, 30, 10, 30 go ahead of, honestly, don't even tell me what to do.

Don't even, not Nanka. Nanka, don't even tell me, Nanka. I'm like, I can't wait. I'm like, I can't wait. No, Nanka. I was like, oh God, now she's gonna whip out her doctor Spanish. Can't wait.

I'm gonna take a knife, I'm gonna stab you in the throat, go to, all right? Hey, go to, you're coming with me now! Come on with me now! Marko Suzuki is gonna be a long fucking night. Yeah, it will be. So, and of course at 9.39, it's 9.39, and I actually check in to see if anyone's ready,

and of course everyone's still snoring and passed out. So, basically it winds up being dinner at 10.30 after all, and so now the guests are to gather. And Dr. Nichols is still wasted. And her just her nip is just out. She just is wearing like a blazer. Her boob is out. And she's like, Oh, okay, I'm ready to have dinner now. Okay. Get me my ring, my precious. All right. You know, the soul spiel ring precious motor. I can't walk in. La la la la la, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, okay, now those are some normal rich people, you know?

They probably actually have money. They probably funded this shit, you know? Yeah. So then Barnaby's like, hello, Colin, can I have an engine tour? You know, I really love just hiding in the engine room. I would do that for hours. That's my favorite thing. Has anyone seen Colin?

I'm Colin now. I'm pretty sure Colin has is not a white guy. Oh, you sure? Maybe a mistake and I haven't seen other Colin in a very long time. Please don't go in the engine room and look behind it in the machinery. I'd like to congratulate Colin on driving his new flesh body now. So they're doing martini mixing, which never ends, by the way, that's the soundtrack to this entire episode is drinks being shaken for these monsters. So, Marcos is going to do five courses, and my idea is to entertain them, because the more I entertain, the less they complain about the drinks. Which is also not true. So they will complain no matter what if they can. So they've been, so these guys, oh god. So this five marcos is struggling to explain the menu because he's

staring at Dr. Nichols' boob. And then they, it's going to be this five-course meal that all looks very delicious. And then Chris goes, ay, there's a lot of utensils going on here. I don't even know which ones, which. So it's like that just drives me. I'm not saying that people have to know they're your utensils, but I hate when people try to act like they're rich and they're cultured and they're worldly.

And then they come onto this yacht and like, can I have a sense, there, yeah, A, which fork do I use? It's like, come on, sir. This better be fancy. Hey, Al come the fuck's the different sizes? Wait, you trying to pull one over on me? Hey, are there gonna be three people sitting

in the seat while they're at three forks? What's going on here? A, so Chris is like, come on, Daisy, give us some help over here. Like, we need a bus or something. Come on, it's just you, come on. And she's like, well, we have three girls, but unfortunately, someone had to go home,

which she never should have said. I mean, that's a huge mistake, because you think they're gonna be nice. Like, you think they're gonna take it easy on you because of that? They're gonna be worse so that they can say later, oh, we need a better service. You guys were missing someone, yeah, that's you, babe.

I guess you get less tip now. Mm hmm. So, um, yeah. So now Dr. Nichols just like wasted. She's like, let me tell you something. I would be accountable and also gone though if I could be. Okay. I just want to eat a little each and every one of you. Did somebody say something about cannibalism? Why can certainly help? Oh, monobony, nice to meet you. Connobleism, a recycle in the engine room, lunchtime. Mm. Is that con's hair you've attached to the back of your hair? Some weird ponytail? No, it's always been there.

So let's see. So Dean, I was like, I have the Azul. So then Chris goes up to the top deck with his crazy wife and they're like, we need some music, we need some blankets. Come on. Get us something. And Dino is downstairs just counting Daisy at the bar going, I want something played on my thing, give me some Azul. So they're both barking orders. And obviously there's just one person that they're barking at so she can't get everything done. So then Chris starts having a fit about it.

And he's like, that's it. There's no ice. Oh no, Dino's like, there's no ice. The machine is done. Yeah. You killed the ice machine, you ice monsters. That's how much of monsters you are. Yeah, you went through all your eyes

and then Chris is like, Hey, if we don't get no music or no blankets or an explanation about all that forks, a dinner in three minutes, I'm done. I'm gonna be super pissed. Yeah. So then the doctor, all of a sudden, is super mad because he goes downstairs and he's like,

you know what, I'm aggravated with the whole crew. You know what, we want to hear music, all right? Like a couple of express souls, something like that. And Daisy's like, short of four-cup. And then the doctor's like, you know what, this service sucks. I'm done. I'm done. And she goes down a slam of the door behind her. And then Dino is doing that thing where he thinks he's being nice by doing this, but he's actually being disrespectful.

He's like, he's Daisy. He has like a, like a, watered up, probably like a single. And he's like, he's Daisy. This is for all the activation for tonight. He has, and she's like, no, I simply kind of take it. And he's like, oh, take it. It just throws it at her walks away. It was so disgusting.

Yep. And so then the drama music, and we think something big is coming right, because it's all coming to a head and the music's like, but then nothing happens. They just all go to bed. Yeah. So then he's like, take that 100-year-old note and shove it so far up, he has no class, no manners, how he has a moron? Who doesn't deserve his wife? It was like the most like daisy little mini monologue ever.

Oh, so let's see. So they get up in the morning to serve them, but of course they don't wake up because they're raw shit-faced and have to ner it like midnight or whatever. So they're all just kind of twiddling their thumbs. And so Gary and Daisy and Glen are in the bridge asking about the stewardess.

And I was by the way, Josh. It is, it's like, I can take this for two days, but that's it. Like we've got to get somebody in here. Yeah, I'm sorry to have interrupted you. I was shocked because I feel like every time we see the show and there's like horrific guests that get wasted and they stay up till four in the morning,

there's always that like one guest or that one weird primary who like the spike getting get wasted and they stay up to four in the morning. There's always that like one guest or that one weird primary who like the spike getting so wasted and keeping the staff up to like five a.m. Someone's always up at eight being like, okay, well, I'm ready for breakfast. Yeah, I'm ready. So there's always that one person. I always feel so bad because the staff

just has to be awake all like around the clock. But they're actually, shockingly, they all slept in until 2 p.m. Yeah. So then the doctor's like, yes, they're with the complete bluer. And Kelsey is trying to figure out toys. They just show Kelsey standing on the swim doc staring at these little sailboats. Yeah. Have you ever seen your sailboats before? She's like, what are these? Can I floss my teeth with them? So curious, I don't know what's going on with them.

She's very slow. There's a hamster on that wheel, but it's not moving very fast. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. God, it's even affecting my whole world. Not gonna lie though. I always do live sucks without hamster. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. So now they ride these little tiny boats and Marcus is telling Daisy he's gonna do an Asian menu and he's like these kind of people They just want to feel rich, you know, so Japanese food that is elegant no matter where you are in the world I'm gonna do this They may be elegant, but we'll be appreciated probably not so Gary So Gary is... Then Gary pulls Kelsey's eyes like, oh, Kels, Kels, I'm gonna have to... I need you to work with you a bit more urgency, yeah, because we have a lot of things going on. So, you know, just pick up the person a bit, Kels, and so Kels is like,

I don't like moving slow. I just think that Gary's style is like fast and frazzled and unflossed. But Kelsey, 2.0 is fast and frazzled and unflossed but Kelsey 2.0 is fast and frazzled coming right at you. Aha. That's why I was like, what are we? 17L, Moscow Mule. I need some raspberry, some strawberries crushed up into that. Of course she do, Dinos. Of course she does.

Yeah, of course. It's like you can't just have a simple cocktail. You gotta add some stupid muddling into it. You gotta be some pain in the ass. People are just waiting to fall asleep so they can put a fucking pillow over your face every single time. So then we see Gary telling Barnaby and Kelsey that they have like a seabob

and that they're doing something with. And he's like, uh, dimmy the evacose. Uh, whenals where you're taking about this the C-Bob do it over the Nordivore So it's something falls in the fall on land, you know If you hear what I say go blah blah blah blah. Thank you very much What up? And he also had the talk with her like she needs more urgency in her job and these well We already said that I'm sorry. Yeah then we get back to Chris going, you got grapes? You know, you can make my transfusion.

That's what I call it anyway. Equal plus, sincere, great juice, that, guess my transfusion. And this is like, I want nothing more to tell Chris. I want nothing more than to tell him to go fuck himself. These people got no respect for me. I'm emotionally physicallysel, physically and a morsel, physically drained. Yeah, also this drink not only does it sound

discussing, but it sounds discussing transfusion. What the hell? So then meanwhile, Kelsey and Barnaby are still fotsing with the C-Bob and then Kelsey goes, so he said put the put the pin out and get the whole thing pull the pin out get the whole thing oops Just drop the pin Like in the water like a dead body that you're just posing of yep Fuck me Oh such a like Gary I have bad news

I was doing what you said and then I almost pulled a cap off with the split end and then I was like hurrying and running really fast and then the pin fell Where did it fall? In the water. Did the North-East get a puppet on the platform so we didn't pull it in the water? Red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red what I'm saying? Then if I blend this, it's gonna pass. Go on, do a service, I think I've heard one second. She's saying, yeah. She's like, just put sugar in it because Ashley's like, all grape juice is sugar.

Well, it's like processed sugar water. So they're like doing the grapes. They put the blake grapes in the blender and then they just had a ton of sugar. And she's like, what an out taste like sugar water. And he and he's like well just tell them the grapes in Europe are sweet. So meanwhile Gary is pith about this whole seabob thing. He's really mad at Kelsey and Barnaby's like I'm in it stupid the way they make water to our components that sink. Why don't you understand it? Dead bodies float to what a toy is sink shouldn't be the other way around my

right he's got a good point so Gary is bitching about Kelsey to Glenn he's like what a fucking idiot and then Kelsey passes right by and she's like wow today's just not my day Yeah, and then finally the transfusion and the much hyped transfusion arrives to Chris and like, I love this. This is great, delicious transfusion. Do more of these on a margarita with salt, okay? And dinner at 10. Great. F**king asshole.

Don your sleep! So, so let's see, so Ashley's telling Gary, I get the bottom bunk now. That's, I'm gonna get the bottom bunk. And, um, the Gary's like, but what, uh, what if she claims rank on you? She can suck my dick by, that's what I've got to say about it. He's like, well what if I saw that thorn stew, Ashley? And I said, listen, that thorn stew actually says you can suck a dick. Oh my God, where are you even laughing? Blah blah blah blah. I'm not sure really to be honest.

Probably has something to do with my childhood deep insecurity is right now. Blah blah blah look right now. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah can do to make me happy, squeeze some lums, boon-be. And he's like, well, I reckon if I'm on the wrong side of her, she'll have me for breakfast. If I'm on the right side of her, I'll know which fork to use when I finally decide to dig in. Breakfast will be breakfasted. Am I right?

I'm going to work on that, don't worry. I'll come back with something a little catcher. So Daisy's... I realized that before I could become a storied murderer, I have to come up with some better lines. Don't worry, it'll come, it'll come. So Daisy's... Daisy's like, Marcus, why don't you lie down for 20 minutes? I'll put on some ennihours, put some made-of-sleep, so it sounds like this.

Ha! Sorry, I can't talk as well as her. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'll sit at your hotel, you lot, not so. And the captain's like, okay, if you're gonna flirt like that, could you go into a cabin? God, what did you whisper to you anyway, Gary? He goes, that she wants kids with me. Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we also hear Chris and Dr. Nichols

having sex or oral or something like that. He's like, oh, oh, oh, baby, we're gonna be late for dinner. Oh, I'm like. Oh my god. I'm gonna Never want to listen to any sounds ever get in my life So Daisy's like so I read I'm just checking in with you How are we gonna have dinner and 10 minutes? He goes 8 11 o'clock? She's like But no, we're set 10 minutes right? He's like nah no11 o'clock. And she's like, uh, but no, we're 10 minutes, right? And he's like, nah, no, 11 o'clock.

And you know what, chick time? 11.15, all right? Look, if it's 30, they put 10 foil on everything. I mean, there's an inconsiderate gas or making it impossible for any of us to go to sleep. If tonight has a repeat of last night, I literally might throw someone over a board. Don't mind if I help you. What do I? I'm working on it. I'm, I'm, my twirling as a murderer is

not very good. I'll just get there. I'm still working on breakfast or be breakfasted. I don't know. So if something feels like that works, but I know instinctually it just doesn't. It's almost like the too many syllables, but the concept is fantastic. So I have a question. Is it over? Is the episode over? Have we ever done a 30 minute recap? I thought there was going to be so much for us to talk about. I was like, oh man, this episode, I was so irate.

I stopped it a million times and turned to dumb. much for us to talk about. I was like, oh man, this episode, I was so irate. I mean, I stopped it a million times and turned to Dom and I was like, these people, these people, you know, and I was like, oh my god, we are going to go in. We are going to just like, we're going to rip them to shreds. But I guess there's only so much you can say, like, and then they wanted to crimp in their cocktail again. Then they wanted another asshole drink and then they wanted another asshole drink and then they wanted another asshole drink, and then they wanted another asshole drink, and then they wanted another asshole drink. And then they wanted to eat first at 10, and then 11. I mean, wow.

Wow. Well, there you go. That's the shortest recap I think we've ever done in our lives. I mean, we do longer recaps on minute long trailers than we did on this. We did an hour and 40 minutes on on summer house. And now we're doing 30 minutes on this. I wasn't even trying to, I wasn't even trying to speed things up. I wasn't trying to skip anything.

I wasn't trying to be like, let's hurry this up. I was like, I really thought there was like, I mean, I can talk about shows lounges if you need to. No, no, no, we're good. We just did, we just did a really long summer house. So, you know, that's, this was actually worked out perfect. So everybody, thanks for being here. I'm sure next week Ashley and Orgary will be back to making this all crazy.

But until then, you know, what are you gonna do? I hope y'all go fresh, squeeze some grape juice for yourselves and try out the transfuse Yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone try to transfer actually. I will say this there is a cocktail that involves you know, I'm not you know it Leave well enough alone Good bye everyone watch what happens would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelownee. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-als.

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