Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Sailing: Fenders and Benders

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Below Deck Sailing Yacht struggles with fenders this week, and a couple of crew mates regret their benders. We're finishing our tour next week! Catch our three night grand finale in Austin, Houston and Dallas! Get dates and tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com and find tour merch including new Crappens leggings and pins at crappensmerch.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hello everybody welcome to watch what happens a podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about On you girls. I'm Ronnie. That's been over there. How they are little being

Hi, they are little rondle everybody. Welcome to the show today. It's below deck sailing yacht day Oh We actually missed a below deck sailing yacht last week. So it's a lot to catch up on. I know. Thanks for everyone for being patient with us. Well, we were in the travel around touring. And next week is the grand finale of our hunky door tour. We are finishing up in Texas, Moon Tower Comedy Festival here in Austin. We do that Tuesday night and then we are going to Houston, House of Blues the next night and then we're finishing up in Dallas on that Thursday night. So go get your tickets over at watch what crapens.com. You will also find our links to Patreon. That's where

our bonus episodes are our crapens on demand video recaps and links to our merch crap and smurch.com is over there. Also, find us on take a seat every Monday night. It's on Spotify Greenroom. That is our weekly live show where we talk about Bravo Goss and just talk with you guys. You guys talked to us. We bring you up. Fun time. So thanks to everybody who's making that so much fun for us. Trilogy. And today is time for Blue Dexail and Yacht. Extra sideways. This episode was extra sideways and bouncy and and fendery. It was it was all the let's see what do we miss on the last episode. I think the last episode, oh Tom got fired. So that happened. That was the last episode? I think the last episode oh Tom got fired

So that that happened that was the big thing I think that's the big the big thing that happened Tom got fired and Yeah, and then we had some like sort of like a low rent version of What's that what's that guy who's on that show on e like you know have to be more specific The southern guy who who is the sorry everyone the the family the one he talked like this yeah he's like he has like his shoulders are always like he's saying what what like he's always shrugging yeah the guy he yeah him. We've got a low-rent version of him is that I'm gonna start a

Crisley Chrisley Chrisley Chrisley Chrisley Chrisley no slas or whatever. Yeah, Chrisley knows best Yeah, we got a low-rent Chrisley on this on the boat at the moment That's that's the big news This kind of me is like a dad's girlfriend, you know, it's like there they are like whoa now tell me what you do again Young lady know one of those guys Yeah, and we also missed another crew talent show, which I think we're all grateful for that we didn't have to recap that that experience Yeah The Tom thing was interesting because we were speculating that Tom probably wasn't

being fired right away, because they couldn't get someone COVID checked and replaced, you know. So it did seem like that was what happened, but that fucking guy was so annoying that the captain was like, nope, he's gone to the adoncare for sure, somebody. He's out.

Yeah, he was just like, he wasn't doing anything to improve his position on the boat. He just sort of still sitting around and Glenn was kind of like, Tom, yeah, he just pointed things, he's like, just come on, chamme me something, do something, hold a chamme, I don't wanna see you not holding a chamme

and Tom was still sitting around being useless. So eventually Glenn was like, okay, you can't rid of this guy. Yeah, Tom took it pretty well though, I have to say, you know, he didn't have a fit and blame everybody else. He was like, off-learned something from that. I've rallied on something from that one. He's like, we'll see. I hope that Carol has learned something from this, your mother. I hope Carol is waiting for you with a wooden spoon in her hand. Just make her-

That's so too. But until you get your shit together, sir. was waiting for you with a wooden spoon in her hand. Just make her. So too. But until you get your shit together, sir. Mafia. Probably. She probably is not doing that, though, which explains a lot of atom. So now here we are. And at the end of the episode, there was a fight with Gary and Daisy.

Because now that because they are under staffed, the deck hands are working hard. And so Kelsey was on the anchor watch. And so she was up all night long. And then one of the Chris Chris Lee's, if not Chris, Chris Lee himself, fake Chris, Chris Lee. He, it's a name Chris, Chris Lee or might just say, if I just mixing him up, something Chris Lee.

Am I just mixing him up with, with Chris Christie, the former New Jersey governor? Oh, my Chris, do you imagine him? Hey, look, he could imagine as a family, all right. He is my family having wacky fun times. Wow, honey, one of the kids wants to go to camp. If there is anyone who I could imagine being a below deck guest, it's Chris Christie. Like I can imagine him getting on board making making the dumb jokes about like, uh, we'll take this room, the master. I can imagine him asking for a refill. I can imagine him getting on the jet ski and taking the jet ski too far

away and too close to the beach. And then him falling off the jet ski. I see, I see the entire Chris Christie episode. Can I Jerry read this boat to get a bigger room. Like, come on. Yeah, he's gonna just like close down the harbor so that way he gets what he wants. The lowest energy version of the chrysalis show ever. So yeah, previously, the Ashley and Gabriella thing where Gabriella was jumping in bed with Gary and Ashley's saying, um, are you gonna be coming to bed? Are you gonna be sleeping somewhere else? Gabriella. And her saying, this is fucked up because I could have fucked Gary already. I could have fucked him. Well, congratulations. So could have a houseplant, honestly. So then, um, uh, so then Kelsey was up all late and one of the guests was up early and so Kelsey

got him coffee. Well, like, I actually the guests was up early and so Kelsey got him coffee Well, I actually got like two coffees and then Gary got all mad about it because Gary woke up and there was like still a sheet There's still like a covering on the on the bench. I was like She's up now we have some guy behind up because now Kelsey's making coffee instead of doing things all the top of coaches Daisy you gotta like get you wake up they gotta wake up Daisy she's like don't show me talking about me and myself I don't want to fight with you but if you want to fight a fight is what you're gonna get garrry. Just tell me what you want from my girls and we'll do it. And he's like I want them to meet up so I don't have to uncover a good damn catch and

the first thing in the morning. The first thing in the morning, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna be like, and she's like, I'm not gonna get her to talk about this,

gara, and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm make sure the girls run for any time you want. You just tell me when, gara. So Jim, whom the chrisley guy, I just wrote that fucking door, it scares Ashley behind the bar.

So he comes up behind Ashley at the bar, he's like, oh, boom. Oh, she's like, oh, ha, ha, up behind Ashley at the bar he's like oh boom They like make those cutesy sounds at each other It's a weird moment. It's a weird moment. It was a weird strange moment and then we go right back to the fight and Daisy's like Listen Calcimer took off his and one gassos apperra, that's not that big of a deal, and you make a sound like six out of the

fifteen gassos the friends are all came on board, and you know what? He's like, he's always like, oh, I never got eight hours of sleep, and I sound your problem,

a better, a better time better. You have the same amount of people as we do, and we have a bigger interior than you do, and you do, and Colin is in there now,

and he's just smiling, because he loves the mess. You know, and if I could someone needs coffee, you get the coffee. It's a six-millimeter broke. It's not the size of our ones. This whole talk of like fucking Gary, I mean, Gary doesn't get enough sleep. That's his problem. You think making coffee is hard. Oh, fucking a.

And then it cuts to Gary Gary literally climbing up a pole. It's like, I think Gary, no matter what your opinion is on Gary, I think Gary probably does the most of anyone that we've ever seen on below that. I know. He really does. Because his cruise is always fucking up. And I feel like every episode is always Gary running

across the boat and throwing himself into a little hole and pulling out like a chain and a fender and like a rope, you know. So then Gabby and Marcos had an issue because she said, okay, Marcos, they're ready. Basically she came in and said, Marcos the guests are sitting down now, they're having wine and he said, okay.

And Daisy come in and said, all right, they're ready, Marcos. And he goes, what the fuck, nobody's gonna tell me when they're having wine and he said, okay. And Daisy come in and said, all right, they're ready, Marcos and he goes, what the fuck, nobody's gonna tell me when they're ready? And Camille's like, I did. I did just tell you that they were ready. Yeah, I thought that was Dick of Marcos because Gabriella was like, they're sitting down.

Like, wow, she's just gonna announce it for the fun of it. And then she's like, how dare you throw me under the bus, Marcos. So now they have like, they've actually had slightly growing tension, but I never really picked up on it, but this is the moment where you're like, oh wow, he's kind of a dick it turns out. I had liked him all season, but now I'm realizing he's a dick.

Well, we saw this coming in the first couple episodes because he's like, oh, I never sleep. I like to always be the one awake all the time. Cleaning the kitchen. I don't care. I'll work on two hours. I clean the kitchen till the middle of the night. I wake up in the middle of the night to do prep. And I remember saying it's always these ones you turn out to be monsters by the end.

Because you're not sleeping. Go to sleep. Well, because they do something. And then they expect you to be on their schedule. They voluntarily say, I'm gonna wake up early and then they get mad that other people don't voluntarily do it with them. It's like, no, you chose to be up early and doing this shit. So that's gonna be on you.

So we basically came up with, well, when you want your food, you say fire, which is, you know, not unheard of. That is usually what you say, but it's like, they have the season is over, and that's like some weird new rule or whatever. So anyway, now it's the morning. So she's like, chef, they want their breakfast around 845, and I know you already have a couple things ready. Is that enough time for you? And he's like, yes, it's enough time. I wake up early. She's like, okay, well, I know you get up early. So just checking. Okay.

I also, I also wondered if that was like a barb about the fact that like Kelsey, the like he wasn't up early enough to serve the coffee to the guests. Either way, I was like, it's a dick comment. I don't know what, I don't know the layers in which he was intending, but all the layers that I detected were all dick.

Oh. Dic layers of dick. Oh. Dic. So then Colin and Gary are on deck talking and Colin's like, what's up with Jayce this moon and she's for you, man. Wanna go slip a bit at Gary and St. Karezik. Well, all you sworked away because we're going hand in it. I'm trying to find a solution and she's here's your solution.

That's what she says. And we have two people out on deck. We've got, we've got 20 boys around here. And we're going to go, okay, hey, I was asleep. And she's very defensive. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, fuck it tonight. So then breakfast is being served. And Jim's like, why are you and I so shaky today, honey?

Cause your alcohol likes Jim. Okay. There are also those people who like go drinking and the next day they're like, oh my God, we drank so much. Oh, we sure did. Oh gosh, we haven't drank that much. We drank so much. Oh, look at us. We're still shaking. Oh my God, we drank so much. Last time we got that drunk. We got we got wasted and called the HSA and bought five patch minutes for our sales. Am I right?

So then Gary is calling Glenn. I'm a or Glenn's calling Gary, I should say. And there's going to be some bad weather coming up. And so we see them looking at the waves. There could be some swells and all this stuff. Well actually they look at that later, but there's going to be bad weather. Bad weather is on the horizon. And Glenn is like, you know, when it comes to unpredictable weather and wind and docks, I've learned the hard way.

It's like and here we go. Let's wind up that beautiful dock footage of Glenn crashing yacht for the 40th time this season. Roll that beautiful bean footage! Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, By the way, that commercial actually came on Bravo the other day. I was cracking up. Did it? Roll that beautiful bean footage, but now they've changed it from that song to be like more modern. I was like, oh God, guys, okay. Wow.

Thanks for adding spin to the beautiful bean footage. Okay. Roll that beautiful bean tick-tock it was. Roll that. It was. Roll that beautiful bean tick talk. We're so modern. So the captain, you know, we see that, but crash into the dock and him screaming, God damn it. And then cutting to captain Lee, like,

I need that trademark office. Please don't drink. Great. That's the captain Jason being like, you call that a boat crash? This is about crashes. Yuck, it was like, down Man Street in New Zealand. Cut into Captain Sandy.

Like, this is Hannah's fault. So, Cully Maritime Law right now. We got a bunch of boat crashers. So the captain is, it comes back to the captain and he's like, well, you know, we have a very delicate paint job right now You have a boat filled with drywall cock. So yeah, you better make sure that shit doesn't run into anything

I'll tell you the most delicate paint job. I've seen on that boat has been Cindy's spray tan on that couch. That's what you call a paint job So uh, they have to they're gonna doing this like, they're putting out extra special fenders and they put out these big ass fenders. These look like as they say in Philadelphia, pork rolls, these giant things. I was like, these made by Jimmy Dean. What is going on here with these fenders? Well, they have to put different size fenders because there's something with the water and the they want extra protection in case the storm causes them to crash again. So they're like, let's bring out the pork roll, pork roll fenders and,

you know, so the interior crew comes out to help them. So everybody's carrying ropes and fenders and all of this stuff. And Kelsey knows they're helping the usual. Also, it seems like Bravo is listening to people saying, hey, where's that cast member? Because Alex from Summer House was missing and now he's suddenly back. And a lot of people online are like, is Kelsey even on the show anymore?

Where is Kelsey? And this episode I feel like was a lot of, look, I'm Kelsey, I'm here fluky. Yeah, yeah Kelsey is suddenly back and then we also get, you know, we we suck before how there's always this random scene of Gary talking about how to do something that never really makes sense because he's showing Gabriella how to tie a knot and he's like, oh, I was, but yeah, that knot don't talk this way because because of a lot of me, he lived at a lot of times, I lived at a lot of times, I've never lived there, I don't talk this way because because of love that really I'm trying to live the best of never do thin about

I'm not So they're talking defenders are over the side and Collins like Gary these lines aren't gonna work they're not long enough and the captain's like that's not gonna work Go we need longer lines Gary's like I don't have any alright just talk about I don't have any alright just tie the bow Stoy all in something all these awkward pork rolls dangling off this like the side of the boat But they're only like just barely below the railing They look like very tight like Look like a lady's hair from my the Victorian era just like these tight curls, you know

Maybe not This is sure something you don't want to screw up guys. I'll tell you that much. And this is from someone who might as well just be a drunk. We drank last night. No, no, no, no, I don't want to screw it up. Can't. So the fenders drop and the captain's like, weed or the fenders even touching the water. Yeah, a lot of like basically. Yeah, it's just very, very awkward. And then they're like, and there's like screaming about, like he's like, throw a finger without a line on it.

And then there's also this little yellow boat. And so then there's like, I guess maybe it's a cat of a ran because Glenn keeps saying like, I need to know the distance to this yellow cat. There's a yellow cat. Give me the distance, until I need to know where the yellow cat is. And they ask Ashley to call out the distance So she's like, um, I think you've got about 75 feet and they're like, no, I don't think so

That's about a mile away Pretty sure I'm stirring directly at the captain's face on the yellow cat right now Which he's totally right they look like a damn disaster and you're only missing Tom and he sucked He didn't know how to do anything either so I Know like I just wanted the collabing music to start playing like This is like cheater and yacht with sausage rolls on the side came comes like floating into the port and even the chef is out there How big right the whole I know out there and Jim Because all this to get your bag off honey

Shut up Jim. I've had enough of you don't need your commentary So there's like 90,000 fenders now in the water, okay, so this is like fenders everywhere So they say the good they're goodbyes and Jim's like well, honestly I just don't honestly know what to tell you all the amount of fun The amount of friendship the amount of vodka in our veins am I right guys? We were drunk Yeah, so then they walk off and then Glenn does the old You old the old gag there with the horn and then it's time for the chip meeting So Glenn's like, you know, it goes without saying that this charter started on a bit of a bad foot You know, we had to say goodbye to Tom. Just kidding. That was a great foot

That was of all the feet I've seen that was one of the best feet of ever seen So you know, I've got a lot of lives to consider and that incident put those lives at risk and that said Kelsey I want especially thank you you there we go everyone is everyone happy we mentioned Kelsey we actually highlighted Kelsey just now is the internet happy at last okay thanks so i'm working on getting someone new and Gary go ahead and Gary's like Colin thanks for having that girl thanks for the man she's thanks for the man how much money did we money corral he's, well, the tip is 21 grand. You know, plus Thomas dead. So we'll send his mother Carol 123rd of his share and we'll split the rest fuck that guy

Hopefully Tom's tip won't run aground somewhere on the way over to the northern England path that he's on so then So then Daisy sits down after the meeting days Daisy's with Ashley and Gabriella. I was like, so how did the challenge go for you guys? And they're all like, yeah, this is the best one. Yeah, we're like really getting along. And yeah, this is great. Everything's great. So she's like, well, what happened with Marcos at dinner?

She's like, I know I wasn't there, but like what happened? And Gabriella says, well, we discussed it. And he said next time say fire. I mean, what are you gonna do? Like I gave him the play by play, but like what happened and Gabriella says, well, we discussed it. And he said next time say fire. I mean, what are you going to do? Like I gave him the play by play, but didn't say fire. So now I'll say fire. He's like, all right. So then we cut to Gary and Colin in their room and Gary Farts on Colin as he does.

Yep. And Colin's like, more math was open and everything. Big my mouth is open because I was just about to tell you a very important story about last year when I was with my girlfriend. All right, I'll just save that. I'll just bookmark that story with all the other ones I never got to finish because no one wants to listen to me. All right. So everyone's getting ready to go out and Collins, like, alright everyone, Kiri, his big gaze and Daisy's like, is that what was smelling in your cabin? Because that was disgusting!

You look at smile that across all of the emerald oils and my rot everyone. So then, by the way, Colin has really upped his game because last season, you know, I gave him a lot of shit for the fact that like everyone would dress up to go out and he'd put on like a t-shirt and like cargo shorts and like teavis, but this season, he puts on a t-shirt and jeans. So you know what, moving in the right direction. I got his got that face, he can wear whatever he wants. It's wrong one on what a walkie just don't wear it around me you hands some little devil It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life

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And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Rapin's commercial. So, um, so then the girls, they all get in their vans. And in the girls' vans, they're just like,

they're just wondering, they're trying to anticipate what the boys are doing, they're like, what do we think the boys are doing? It's like, well, they're probably doing the beatboxing, and then it costs like the guys beatboxing. Am I doing this? Am I in the right part? No, that's literally the wrong part.

Right now, they're, right now, they're, Gary's like, what do you think they do in over in the band? They're talking about me, I guarantee it, and they are. You know, he's totally right. And then Daisy's like, all right, girls, how would you fall if you're called? Colin won't stop gossiping. Gary wouldn't stop farting.

And Maccos wouldn't stop trying. Basically, if they're all unfockable. And Kelsey's like, guilty. I've done that a couple of times, crying during sex. Actually, it was, I'm sorry, I didn't mean crying during sex. I'm eating my hair during sex. It happens. Yeah, flossing, flossing my teeth with my hair during sex.

So they arrive at the restaurant and Marcos is still pissy, right? Really? He's like super pissy. He's super pissy and he's like, okay, I want to say, you know, next time we're going to go higher and higher. And Kelsey's like, yeah, we're going to like vibe so hard, they guys have no choice but to like vibe harder. Right guys? Yeah.

And then Gabriella's, and then Marcos goes, yeah, but still, like in my case, I'd have to go higher and higher. So Gabrielle is getting a note of Marcos. So she's like, oh, she starts like mocking, being like, oh, back to me, Marcos. Because she was also mad because Kelsey said that she was gonna make, she was gonna take a video of them all.

So she takes out her camera and starts doing a video and Marcos goes, oh, it's a video. And Gabrielle's like, yeah, she said she was gonna make she was gonna take a video of them all so she takes out her camera and starts doing a video and Marcos goes oh it's a video and Gabriel's like yeah she said she's gonna make a video you know so Gabriel's like just really annoyed at Marcos for just not really listening and taking the women seriously. So um and he's obviously kind of getting at her right he's like for me I like to be higher because I don't like to be on the same level and she goes yeah complacency sucks Marko else we get it so their food comes out and Gary's like well this octopus that octopus looks really good and Daisy's like you can have something if you don't pat me off all right and he's like today's this little piece that make daisy come on daisy why was it so defensive with me earlier So then so then at one point Daisy goes

Ashla is my biggest fan and Gabriela goes yeah, that's clear and now she goes I would never say anything bad about you Daisy and Daisy oh that's clear. And now she goes, I would never say anything bad about you, Daisy, and Daisy's like, oh, that's sweet. I'm perfect towards her. And that's what happens when you don't piss me off. I'm like, Gabriella starts doing like blow job hands. And she's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, yeah, which I could suck deck like that. And Gary's like, well, if you want to practice my own things. Oh, I'm not laughing at you until you apologize.

There would be no laughter. I'd tell you I think I'll joke. I'll tell you I apologize. And he's like, you don't have to apologize. But you at least have to acknowledge what you're saying. You're getting defensive. You're not. See, this is like I can't.

I can snap. I can snap. I can snap. I can snap. I can snap. I can snap. I can snap. I can snap.

I can snap. I can snap. I can snap. I can snap. I can snap. I can acknowledge what you're saying. I said, are you getting defensive? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So he's like, I can't, I can snap out of it with Daisy, because I love her. You know, he's like, I don't need to win with Daisy. And so then we go back to the table and Gabriel is like, I need the poop.

Can we go home now? And my mother-in-law starts speaking Italian. And she's like, well, I don't speak Italian, Marco. So he goes, okay, then what language would you like to speak? She goes, uh, Portuguese. How about that? I think it goes, well, how about English? And so then he like asked the table, what everyone wants to do.

And so then she's like, oh, I see. So you guys listen to him, but you're not going to listen to me when I say I want to go back to the boat. Like, and he even asked me when I say I want to go back to the boat Like and he even asked me what language do I speak in and I said porches So she's just like no she's saying don't talk to her because he like turns away from her Oh, he's like we're going to talk in English and then he turns away from her And he's like so Ashley what are we gonna do tonight? She goes don't speak to her speak to me like what the hell now you ask me what language

I wouldn't speak to her speak to me. Like what the hell? Now you asked me what language I want. You wouldn't speak in that language. So there, that makes more sense. I'm giving you the whole energy, but like the fight itself is so stupid, right? Like neither one of them will say anything. So it's hard to fall. Yeah, I did fall asleep at this part. I was, yeah, I fell asleep and then I like woke up

the next morning and finished watching the show. So I probably got the, the details are to probably get murky for me because I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so Kelsey is like, so guys, how many times have you been in love? A Marcos is like, well, too many times. I don't trust anybody now. And she goes, well, yeah, you know, I wish I was more open. He goes, well for me, and she just starts talking and Gabrielle was like, oh, well, yep, back to him. Yeah, back to him. There we go.

And he's just, like, going on, he's like, for me, this is so, this is for me, I'm just like, to be in this circle and Gabrielle was like, oh yeah, we're so lucky. And he's like, you know what, you're being sarcastic, which is, you know, like, you know, like you're being like a fucking idiot. So you know, like, you're being like a fucking idiot. So you better stop it, you know,

and she goes, I'm not an idiot. And he's like, you know what? Fuck off. I'm not going to share what I'm going to share right now. And she's like, oh, well, you're a very insightful person, but sometimes you make a lot of things about you. And it's okay for me to say that. And he says, I am free speech to say that.

And she goes, I know you have free speech, Marco. And he's like, well, you should let people talk. And she's like, so should you. So they're just having this stupid little fight. Meanwhile, Kelsey was just trying to have one scene in this whole goddamn season. Like, to talk about how she feels about something, right? Falling in love. So, Marco's is like, she were not disrespecting me. And did you notice how much like Mike Shouette looks when he's pissed? They get just like a similar look in their eye, you know? And so, he tells Gabriella that she acts like an idiot when she drinks and that tomorrow she's going to be sorry.

Yeah, because she always gets drunk and then she apologizes the next day. So then there's like awkwardness and Kelsey's like, so anyways, I've never been in love because I don't open up enough and now we can move on. Um, Gabriella, burn oranges, your color. So then they're still going Gabriella and Marcos. So she's like, you don't have to get personal Marcos. You know, you say like, I'm gonna wake up and regret it. That's personal. He's like, you don't, I won't talk to you then.

I'll stay away from you. She's like, fine, he's like, fine. Now I have to say sorry. She goes, it was mean. It's like, oh my God, you guys are so boring with this. You're boring. No, I know. So then Gabrielle is trying to walk away.

And Marcos is like, I don't have time for this bullshit. And Gabriella's like, GAAAAAAAAMS! I bet that doesn't do anything else. He just lets her walk, keep going. So then Gabriella was like, you know what? When I was my early 20s, I'd literally tell you to suck a dick and tie the fuck off.

Maybe even quit my job. But I'm too old for this shit. You know why? Because I'm mature. Oh yeah, maybe even quit my job, but I'm too old for this shit, you know why? Because I'm mature. Oh yeah, buzzword for the season, maturity. Yeah, there we go. So then, Daisy's like, Gabriela!

And she comes out to her sitting on a bench and she's like, well, Kelsey was trying to speak and he made it about him and I'm not gonna apologize for asking to let her speak. And Daisy's like, oh my God, Daisy misses everything on this boat, right? She never understands why anybody's fighting with anybody because she's never there. She's like, she's got the smokers, the smokers thing where you miss all the inside stuff

because you've been outside smoking. Yeah, exactly. So Daisy's like, oh, fucking cool. You can't live without them there. Some nice and nice little cliche to small things over. Let's come back together as a group now. So now they get into the vans. And now I'm sorry, Ronnie, that I mixed up the scene earlier of what are they doing in the other van with the scene now of what do you think they're doing in the other van? I know. Yes. It's a very intricately plotted show. So now, Daisy is saying, what do you think they're doing in the van?

And she's like, what do you think they're doing all those boys with Ashley in the van? And Gabby's like, Gabriela's like, I mean, they're giggling and grabbing Ashley's tits right now and jiggling them and so cuts to them and they are Giggling and touching her boobs I think he'll see like They are and then Kelsey's like oh they're probably doing it to mark us as beatboxing and it cuts back and mark us is like So then Gary is actually it's like stop Gary Jesus and he's like well give me I said give me a lip kiss and because you're always you won't kiss someone else then she's no one No, and she kisses him, but she's like annoyed on on her phone flicking through whatever

So then back at the boat. It's hot as someone's like yelling, it's hot tub time and stuff and Marcos is dancing with a bottle But then Gary goes to bed and I was like, uh-oh Is this a scene where Gary is waiting for someone to crawl into his bed? But he says no, I just need to go to bed. I'll need to catch up on sleep. I Know it was shocking, but nothing is more shocking than the fact that Colin, like the first time in the history of blow deck selling out, gets into the hot tub. That's right, everyone. He gets into a bathing suit and gets into the hot tub. Wow.

I didn't even notice that. Oh, yeah. Major development. Sorry, that's such a rude, Colin thing to say. I don't even notice. But it's almost like the first time he's ever gotten in the hot tub. Like, nothing that noticed. Who was that? I sense a presence in this hot tub anyway

It must be just an extra jet they installed So Gabri everyone gets dry and the Gabriela goes and crawls into Gary's bunk and he's like, are you jumping in? And she's like, yeah So then Marcos comes in and he's like, oh wow and she goes, could you keep it down? I'm trying to sleep. And he goes, you're in my fucking room, so shut up. I sort of obnoxious for her to request that. Since it wasn't her room,

sort of obnoxious for him to respond that way. So they're both just being obnoxious to each other right now. And so she goes, wake me up at six. So then Ashley is still hanging out with Colin up and so it's a rare moment where Colin is like someone is like hanging out with him and they're less like gal venting around and they're like they're like oh my god Gary is such like a boss you want a bad early let's go wake him up so they go in and they turn on the lights and they see Gary there with Gabriella in the bed and Ashley goes that that's fucking hilarious. Oh my god.

I can't with this fucking shit. That's hilarious. I am so unbothered right now. But of course, she's like the most bothered by this entire situation. Yeah, she goes, see boom. That's what I'm talking about. Gabriella is just snake. And if Gary wants to hook up with her, that's fine. But I'm not gonna make out with you in the fam. Then have you hook up with her, that's fine, but I'm not gonna make out with you in the fam Then have you hook up with her on the boat even though I did Oh good a lot of the like going on here because like it was just the last episode or two episodes ago Where as she was like you should totally hook up with Gary remember she was saying that to Gabriella and like a an attempt to create like a false alliance and remember she was saying that to Gabriella in an attempt to create a false alliance.

And now she's upset that Gabriella is hooking up with Gary. At the same time, Ashley has made no secret of the fact that she really is feeling Gary. And so there is a violation of girl code happening. At the same time, Gary has made it very clear that he is not interested in Ashley whatsoever. So she should have no exception. Except he was just in the van trying to make out with her and grabbing her. Except that there's that too. So like it's all everyone's just like fucking up left

and right. There's just no sides. You're all are fucking up. Yeah, there's no violation of girl code here. I don't think. I think it's just all, I think you're violating my board code because this is the dumbest shit ever and I'm like it's tiring, you know. So then Ashley's like, Colin asked what we're all asking. The voice of America. When he's like, why are you girls farting over this fucking guy? And she's like, I'm not. But like, if this is how it's going to go, like, he kissed me in the van, like, I didn't kiss him. And he's like, you'll just jealous. And she goes She goes okay sure. I'm jealous because you won't you jealous That's the problem

And then Daisy come to go bad bad bad everyone to bad she suddenly becomes like the proctor at a boarding school Everyone goes to bad watch now Everyone so that she's like sending them all to bed and actually like don't need, I don't want, I don't want, Gary at all. Me and all of course that's like exactly everything that she wants. So then Daisy goes into his room and she's like, Garah, while you're created, fucking shit show for the rest of us to deal with, I just want you to know what, I want to know what time your deck hands have to be up tomorrow.

He's like, oh, dinner, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then Ashley keeps wanting to call in and she's like, I have to work with her on the interior. Like, what do you want for me? I didn't think you'd do this. I don't want any burn of this. And she's like, oh, slap, big. Go top, bad, bad.

So as she's just like, I'm fucking over it. My lights are constantly bands around about idiots that have to be put in fucking line. So then Ashley gets- I didn't do it though, but I didn't do anything else. So Ashley goes up to her bed and then falls out and slams into the doorknob on her way down. And then all of a sudden, the show turns into inception because the music is like, WOM! WOM!

WOM! WOM! I'm like, what is happening? Is the boat gonna turn upside down? Are they gonna go into someone's dream? She's just like, the music is so serious because it was a pretty serious fall, but the music is like, WOM! Like, okay, relax. music was like, boom!

Like, okay, relax. That was like low. So then next day, the boat is a disaster. You know, it's a given. There's shit everywhere. And Gabriella slides out of Gary's bed like, slide onto the floor off the second story. And then we get like wacky electronic clown music. I'm not really sure what's going on. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Well, you encouraged it though, Ashley. You encouraged it and then you feel a sense of betrayal when it happens. Like it doesn't make any sense.

So, she's a set person who walks into the bar and calls the hottest person. Like that went to mine. And then anybody who floats with the hottest person is automatically fucking her over. Yeah. Exactly. It's like, she's happy to step in that role of being, you know, you know, a siege with, but she's, I don't know. I can't even use the words. My brain is rotting as I speak. So Gary is like, he's like, well, I woke up with Gary out of my bed. I know he's

going to go on and I thought I was in her bed and I don't remember kissing Ashley That's what you call her out calling fluids. We're on the right All and Gary doesn't remember guys of course. Gary doesn't remember anything So then Daisy's checking on Ashley and she's like I'm fine Gabby's in bed style and she's like oh So later everybody's working and Gabriela sees Ashley and she's like oh thanks, so later everybody's working and Gabriella sees Ashley. And she's like, oh, thanks for waking me up this morning. It's just, oh yeah, well, I was just cleaning. And she goes, no, seriously, thank you. That was really nice of you.

She's like, well, I'm sorry. She goes, well, I'm glad you got up on time. All that matters is that Daisy knows that you were up early. Yeah. She's just like this stuff. She's just like just attacking with passive aggression is that Daisy knows that you were up early. Yeah. Just stop. She's just like just attacking with past regression, just like unabashed, you know, unmasked past regression.

So Gabriella's like, I hate that I'm making a bad impression on people that I look up to who are more experienced than me, who are great at their jobs. I just, I just want to cry because what does it say about me that at the end of the day, I'll just be remembered as the girl who crawled into Gary's bed. Oh man, that's sad for me. That is sad for me. Again, again, again, again, again. I am sad for Gabrielle that she's doing this. Like, I really, I really, like, I'm like, she seems great, but I'm like, oh no,

the Gary thing, that is hard. That is hard to get past. I don't even think it's a Gary thing at this point with her. I think it's the Marcos thing because she looks, you know, Marcos is so good at what he does. And he's doing, you know, now Marcos is being a dick. And she's like, well, is it me? Like, what the fuck? So she goes to Daisy and she's like, look, I slept in,

I'm sorry. And she's like, I'm not mad about thought. I'm mad about the straight liquor. I'm not about things going too far. Don't get into Gary's bed when he's asleep. Like it was some kind of, I mean, Daisy, no, that's not it. Because he, he said, are you getting into bed? So it's not like it was some kind of assault. No. No. You've been slamming it back straight straight from the bottle to you and making out with Gary. So it's kind of like, don't throw things when you live in a ball sack house.

You know what I mean? I just want, I just want better for Gabriela. I just want her, I want her, I want better for her than Gary. That's all I want from her. I don't think that she did anything professionally wrong. I don't think she did anything wrong. I just want her to have higher standards. So, um, so then, he's like,

Girl, take it down a notch. Okay, someone's gonna get hurt or someone's gonna get fired. All right, or someone's gonna fall out of a bed and hit their forehead on a door. Oh, that already happened last night. Never mind. Never mind. Well, of course, I went off to lists.

Kelsey's like, I've got it on my phone. Anybody want to watch the game? It's really good. It's really good. Kelsey, this is just for a job. You're a flossy with your hair again. Oh, sorry. Ashley, because oh my god, that never happened before. Like, I don't drink like that when I'm not here. Wow. That's great. So you only drink like that at work. That's great, Ashley. She's like, I promise you don't drink like that while you're here either off-slap. So now it's time for a preference sheet meeting and we meet the new, well, we see who the new guests are going to be. So the primary is a lady named Don, who's a Chicago-based vegan foodie,

and she enjoys nothing more than dining in the finest restaurants. They want water toys and five-star dining, yada yada yada. And there is a deck hand who's coming, but the deck hand will not be here before the end of this coming charter. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial Gabrielle Eppel is Ashley aside and she's like, what in come here real quick? Like, look, I just, I feel like I want to leave the boat.

I just feel like I'm always in trouble. And this is what happens when I drink around people who don't know me. Like, I don't trust you guys, you know? And it's just an uncomfortable way to live. Okay, well, A, why are you trusting Ashley? Why are you telling her this? Who did you?

And you know she's gonna run and use this against you. So what are you trusting Ashley? Why are you telling her this? Who would you? And you know she's gonna run and use this against you. So what are you doing there? And if you can't drink around people, you don't trust, then stop. Well, what do you do? What are you doing right now? What are you doing right now? Like, this is a very solvable situation.

I'm flummix as to why she's telling this to Ashley. I actually think that she must be testing Ashley. I think that she's saying this stuff to see if Ashley's gonna run until everyone, because it doesn't make any sense she must be testing Ashley. I think that she's saying this stuff to see if Ashley's gonna run until everyone, because it doesn't make any sense why she would tell Ashley. I mean, Ashley is like, I think Ashley is a dangerous person. And I think that she is, this is not the smart thing to do.

So then Gabriella tells us that herself, the team is in the gutter, because she puts a lot of herself worth, she bases herself worth on how she does with her job. And as she wants days to respect, and she does with her job and as she wants dates respect and she's like fucking up and whatever I'm like, stop drinking so hard at night and stop you know like stop getting yourself so bothered with Ashley. This is why you're falling apart here, you know. So she's getting emotional and she's like I seriously like

I don't even want to be here anymore. I like I just don't want to be here and actually goes, um, anything it's just like a stress thing. She goes, no, like I don't even wanna be here anymore. I'm like, I just don't wanna be here. And Ashley goes, um, anything, it's just like a stress thing. She goes, no, like, I don't wanna be here, actually. Or I'm actually goes, oh, um, I'm not really good at like, oh, God, I'm not good with this. So, oh. I'll give you a hug and then just like, you can put your hands around me and we'll create

a hug experience and that should be good enough, right? And Gabriella is like, well, you can start by telling me how you feel about what I just said. And she's like, um, obviously, like, I don't know how you're feeling. So are you going to talk to Daisy? Like, she just told you how she's feeling. So, Ashley sucks, basically. And Gabriela is coming to like a suck well for, why would you come to her? Like she sucks, she's a well of suck, why would you come here? So she's like, please don't tell Daisy.

She's like, sure, I won't. Where she's gonna be like in the next 30 seconds. And she's gonna tell Daisy in the worst, make it sound as worse as terrible as possible. So then Gabriella goes up to Gary and she's like, you know, I really do like Gary and I like our friendship and I keep growing to your bed because I just wanna snuggle with you, you know?

And he's like, oh, that's fine, I'm not mad. I'm not mad when I agree to any of it. And she's like, well, I'm sorry about that. And I wanna make this work with everybody. And you and Kaleister, my people, but the way I get out with you guys, I'm sorry about that. And I want to make this work with everybody. And you and Kale start my people, but the way I get out with you guys, I'm not getting out with Daisy and Ashley. And she basically is like saying she's having,

like, she's going through it, right? And Kale's like, well, you know, people are gonna have their differences. And you know, people won't get long. And you know, you're with each other for 24 or seven. And it's still gonna come snuggle with me, right? Because I still haven't gotten quite the blowy yet. Sort of want to check that one off the box, right?

All right. I don't know. He tells us that you could see from the beginning that Ashley thought she was gonna be the, or she should be, you know, the second. Like she should be in charge. And it makes him wonder if Ashley's going out of her way to make Gabriela feel uncomfortable

because that's the worst thing you can do to move up the ladder, like by making someone else feel bad, you know? So then Gabriella's in her room, there's dramatic music and she's like, hey Ashley, are we okay? Because I just want to finish this seat. Like look, I just want to keep my job. I want to be friends with you guys. I'm done with drinking on nights off. Like, I don't need any more bruises and Ashley's just flicking through her phone. She's like, same.

Ashley doesn't care. Ashley's not barely even listening. I feel sorry that they're in this annoying cycle where they are just like so, they just like go at each other and then there's like this attempt at like, friendliness that just always fails over and over again. So, now it's the next day and they're just like cleaning.

It's like cleaning cleaning cleaning. The water is choppy, there's gonna be swells because there was this storm the night before. And so Gabriella, they're lining up for the guests. The guests are walking down the dock and Gabriella has a tray of champagne and she's not holding it the way that Kate Chastain taught us all after Laura, oh my God, Laura from Canada.

After Laura dropped a trade of champagne, Kate Chastain taught us, you put your hand on the champagne glass bases to secure them and Gabriella does not do it. They fall. They was like the most cartoon pratfall of champagne glasses falling over. Yes, one, then two, then all of them.

Yeah. So they're trying to get everything cleaned while the guests come up the dock. And Gary's like, just tell them it's the wrong boat. So they come up and we get the hellos and everything and some food is there some little mini salmon cut by cheers and The ladies like oh my god these are not small swells and I say that as a vegan foodie This is where Glenn starts using the word lumpy alive. Whoa, it's this water is getting a little bit lumpy. We got a lumpy.

We got some lumpy water coming on here. We'll just put up the sails. We'll get through all that lumpiness, a lot of lumpy water. And that's, oh, so then everything's leaning. The swells are big and the boats going crazy. And then they hear slamming and the sliding doors are opening and slamming shut. So Gary runs down and one of his fingers gets slammed

to them and it slams at hard. And they're trying to close the doors to secure them since they're open and because the boat's tilting so much, the doors are like, boom, boom, boom, boom. So they finally just like, they're all there trying to close the door and they finally get the doors closed, but Gary's finger is there and He's like it slams on his finger and so he like runs up and he like runs down to his room and then just like screams his pillow He's like

And that brings us to the end of below deck sailing on We'll carry ever uses finger again We'll carry ever discipline her child Carol have some me to Carol I don't know why Carol literally didn't do anything but be a sweet mom That's okay. That's well. She was she did not establish proper boundaries for Tom and this is where we're at So you know what Carol has to get it to Everybody thanks so much for being here. We will be back later this week with real housewives of New Jersey and Orange County. Oh, okay. Thanks for being here. We will catch you next time

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