Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Sailing: Storm on the High STDs

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

After crashing twice, Below Deck Sailing Yacht welcomes the Rose mother daughter team and a very shrilly group of their friends. Don't stereotype them, though. They're totes Tatas for Trump. Oh, yeah. And JL has a sore peen. This week's bonus episode is Top Chef! Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not a fan of crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'm a crap, I'mpping the podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on yield props. Okay, I'm Ronnie and that's been over there hot

being. Hi, how are you? Good. How are you? I am wrapped with guilt wrapped or racked. I am full of guilt and I owe it's time for an apology, you know, okay? Not 2021 without an apology and I have to apologize the audience because I Erroneously said several weeks ago the Cindy bar shop was going to be on below deck sailing. I was very sure of it I I Talked about it. I talked about it more than I ever should have. We did a whole countdown. You really brought it up a lot. Like I'm sitting here waiting for Cindy Bar shop.

You telling me she's not gonna be on? Well, I realized that this girl Jess on this week's episode of a blow dexanling was the woman I thought was Cindy Bar shop. I thought Jess was the Cindy Bar shop. No, that's so uncool. How sad. To both of them, actually. It's actually uncool to both women at the same time, which is hard to do, actually.

But it's also so Cindy Bar Shop. The most Cindy Bar Shop thing to do would be to actually get you somewhat excited about Cindy Bar Shop, and then you realize it's not even Cindy Bar shop at all. So, wow. I owe Cindy Bar shop an apology for placing her on this yacht. I owe the audience an apology for mildly intriguing them about Cindy Bar shop, Camille. I apologize to Jess for thinking she was Cindy Bar shop. I, and I apologize to the CQ Com cumber who probably swam close to the yacht thinking that Cindy bar shop was on board and then got tangled up in the anchor. So I apologized CQ cumber.

I didn't mean to cause that death for you. Oh my God, that CQ cumber probably spent five minutes with Bianca and was like, I'm out of here. I think for anyone who plays Animal Crossing that CQCumber was Exciting because in Animal Crossing you can go swimming in the water and you can like you can go diving and pick up various starfish and You know, wow things like that oysters and one thing you can get as a as a CQCumber And it's like oh CQCumber and then there it was I was like this is the Animal Crossing CQ cummer and then there it was I was like this is the animal crossing crossover that I was waiting for I just was hoping that Cindy Bar shop could have been part of it But she's not it's fine. I'm still shockingly not enticed

Uh to play animal crossing there you mean tails of Finding CQ cumbers is not yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it is I feel like you're they're selling it really hard with your CQ cumbers and picking your roofing or whatever you do on that. But you know, stalkingly, okay, without it in my life. Yep. Yep. No, I get it.

So today is below deck. Yes. It is below deck. Sailing day. We're very excited. We are also excited because we did an episode with the ladies of morbid podcast today and That should be up either the day or tomorrow. So just you know, it'll come out. You'll see it. It's gonna be a feed Yeah, so thanks to them Also, it's a crazy busy week here. We did that episode and then plus we're doing an extra housewives this week

Because guess what? Back Real housewives of Beverly Hills Kyle has a new Will she use it to sniff out the crimes happening across Pasadena Probably not but hey, you know what her her new face looks really good actually I'm gonna give her props on that. You know, even though she made fun of getting a face lift

on the show, she's done it. And you know what? The way that you make people forget about your hypocrisy is to just knock it out of the park. So well done, Kyle. Yeah, if people accuse you of being too faced, be sick's faced. Okay.

What's how to do? It's finally working. I agree it looks cute. If at first you don't succeed, lift and lift again. Okay. Next year, her nose is just gonna be on the top of her goddamn head. And I support it.

Well, eventually everyone just becomes variations of Kim Zolziak. You know, it's like that lady who tried to touch up the painting of Jesus in that Spanish church, and then she just got lost in her way, and it just was one big smudge. That's just where it goes. Eventually, you fiddle enough, and you just become a smudge. And that's smudge with lips, and that's where Kim is.

That's where Gretchen is headed. If you're lucky enough to see her with facial features. And then, you know, tell me something. I'll say that because the other day I was making French fries from a family. And my sister was going to take out the pan from the oven. She's like, I don't want to use the dish towel. Where are your oven mitts? I know you have oven mitts.

And I opened the drawer and I pulled out the oven mitt. And my first thought was, God, that really does look kind of like Kim Zollsiac at this point. Just like a big round. Yeah, it was an oven bit. So funny having her back in my life. Wow, full circle. Okay, so let's start with below deck sailing. It's been a very dramatic week waiting to see what was going

to happen because crash, crash, crash, two crashes in one episode. Yeah, it was really like a Dave Matthews spectacular crash, crash into me and being the doc. It was like the doc was singing to the boat. Dave Matthews, doc was like really taking back to 96 and it was like bring it to me. Bring it, go ahead. No, just had bring it into me, bring the yadda into the crash to me. Bring it, go ahead. No, just bring it into me.

Bring the yadda into the crash of it to me. Just keep your head up, parcel. One more crash, and you're going to have coverage of space. Okay, speaking of failing upwards, just keep trying until you come out with the cutest little face you can possibly mess with. That is true. And listen, they're like still despite crashing into a dock, I still think the most, you know, awful thing that happened to this boat was having, you know, Sierra and what's his face on last season. Like that, I think, was still did more damage than that dock ever could. Had you. Yeah, the boat the boat the boat finally it just can't take orders anymore because it went deaf from that terrible terrible music being played last year

That same song being played over and over again by that Georgia girl that it's finally just beating its head into docs now Yeah, the boat is just like please please kill me now. So the boat crashes into the doc Which results in my favorite footage which is watching that doc sort of crumble but not really crumble just like, please, please kill me now. So the boat crashes into the dock, which results in my favorite footage, which is watching that dock sort of crumble, but not really crumble. It just looks like, it was like really, I really enjoyed that sort of like that crunchy,

like that little, it just looked sort of soft. And I really liked that footage of the dock semi-crumbling. Yeah, the dock did seem a little mushy. Like even the doc has gained its COVID-20. I know. I was like, yeah. Remember when Doc used to be hard before COVID?

And then we're all having to deal with pudgy docs. The doc is like, that's what I get. You know what? I take cookies and I act it as if I wasn't ever going back into the world, but I am going back in the world. So it's really, it's my fault. It's my fault. It's like, no, Doc, don't be proud of yourself.

Come on, Doc, this is sitting too close to home, okay, Doc? So Glenn is saying the F word over and over, which is just hilarious. It's like watching Mickey Mouse, you know, say the C word. Like what? Like I never thought that was even in you. What are you talking about?

And basically Glenn's freaking out pacing around and growling and trying not to, you know, throw a charit, Haraldo. I don't know where that came from. Haraldo and Gary. I don't know. I mean, who knows? With this charter, he might have been lurking in the background.

Because we just spent like an hour and a half talking about the 80s and 90s. So sorry, that's where that comes from. So Gary is like, it's a bad one. Oh, where? And Sidney, you know, who's so good, you know, she's really the voice of reason. She's like, there are pieces of boat floating in the water.

And look what I did in the doubt. You know what, shut up lady, who just watched a car crash. Nobody wants a lady who walks up to the car crash and I'm like, oh my God, that car crash was bad. I saw the car hit a tree and then it crashed. That lady, that lady could be dead. How about you narrate this away from the people

that got hurt, okay? Yeah, the dog, the poor dog is already spiraling as it is. So could you just like chill out? So Glenn is, he, Glenn looks like he wants to cry. He's just like, fuck me, fuck! Something wrong with the engine? Like, are we gonna drag ourselves into the rocks? So there's still like drama and the music is very serious because they don't really know what's going on. They don't know if they are gonna crean into rocks and everything and they're like testing lines

and then eventually there's like, and then they kind of just like settle in and they're like testing lines and then Daisy is the biggest shit talker. She just runs up there with her like- I know! Listen or they say it's high wind because I've been shit ton of hot wind. It's normal. It's normal, I win. What if you're gonna blame the wind the totally normal wind? Like wow, give them a break lady.

I know, she's really gossip even about the docking. She's like, HOT FOT! I think this is! HOT. She's like Oh it's fault it's your fault it's your fault I've had it with this doc Our new wish I'm not giving beans to this boat it's your fault Not isn't my fault I was giving those beans. Yeah persuaded me to trade away my cow for beans And if it wasn't those beans there'd have been no stock in the first place It's the last

dogking So the insurance guy shows up just like it into the woods the insurance guy shows up like I'm gonna need insurance on this town Please and it's like Hey, Colin could you hear the cavitation? And they're looking to see if there's cavitation, which means there's air bubbles on the propeller. And so the propeller starts spinning around, but it doesn't hit the water, because it's just hitting an air bubble. And to that, I say, what the frick?

What kind of major, what the fuck kind of trick is that that nature plays on you? Like, I know I've made a bubble I've made a bubble on your propeller Let's be honest if sometime we're still running musicals Cavitation would be the name of like one of his songs like cavitation Exasperation here we go in a bubble nothing's moving cavitation cavitation I try to makeation. Here we go. In a bubble, nothing's moving. Cavitation, cavitation. I tried to make it move.

Thusters, tossers, tossers, tossers, tossers. Oh, so Gary's, yeah, Gary explains that. And then Daisy's like, how did that happen? Like while you're already telling everybody that it was because of wind, gossipy ass, just don't tell Daisy anything. Just sit there and wait to see what comes back to y'all about what Daisy is saying about this shit I know to be asked days gossiping about the cavitation dick cavitation So yeah, so she's like I can't be there for this too much

cavitation and then and clan is like what it could be cavitation or a throttle malfunction or no with the engine had a problem or somebody that it was cavitation, I'm telling everyone, the high winds and cavitation. That's who it was. So then Daisy goes up to Natasha and she's like, girl, have you seen the bots? And she's like, yes, it's bad, it's horrible. She's like, the stones are falling off the dock.

They're huge trunks off the transom door. I'm telling you this there will be no cohabitation with cavitation habitation and cavitation won't happen with this vegetation The show jumps off the Transom door. It's just they are a section fire right now All the brigades and ol' crates are coming to save it. Garell's this could be our last charter.

Make the most of it now because we may not be alive by tomorrow. So the guys are doing all the, the guys, the deck crew are doing all the testing. Sorry, so very. And the captain's like, see if you can make it fail. And so Gary, I don't know, there's a lot of running around and fixing things. I don't really understand. I'm okay.

I don't know what cavitation is now, but I don't know what anything else is. And I just might have a hard takeaway from watching this was like Ellen, not Ellen DeGeneres, what's Elaine Boosler? It's like Elaine Boosler comedy, you know. It's like man, that's how they fix things. Like we don't know what's wrong. So let's just chalk it up to a crazy computer. It's like a lean-boostler comedy, you know? It's like, man, that's how they fix things like wait I don't know what's wrong. So let's just chalk it up to that crazy computer

It's like guys you need to figure out what's wrong. You can't just say well it's working now because you crashed twice So it did work the first time and then you ignored it and then it happened the second time and now you're just like well It's working now just throw some paint on it. Let's be dead. I know like well It was a glitch in the thwire computer and this is a big system And so you know things go wrong sometimes as you know so thwire computer and the cavitation and all is the first time It's ever happened to me since the last time it happened to me. So then it was like it's like will the trancem door open because there's a lot of like damage on the Transmendorant. Is this cosmetic? Is this structural? Is it cavitation? So, um, like, if the door-

They start doing the, they start doing the horror music. Buh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, and Glenn, and Glenn is like now in his room. He's like in his bedroom of shame, slowly changing. And they're all talking about like if the Trif if the trancem doesn't open that's how you get the toys at that's how you get people out there on the water The minors will just pack it up the charter season could be over

Yeah, and the door drama was cracking me at first of all Glenn They're like wow Glenn is really upset. He took off his sweater Lynn, they're like, wow, Glenn is really upset. He took off his sweater. He's like, I think about my sweater. He's so mad. And then the door, and the door starts creaking open and they're playing all this horn. Roger Hans. Safe without Maris. If we all go down to the passor. Rail. What coming out of the passor. If we all go down tonight, I just want to say I love you all, except for Natasha, you said there'll be three courses for breakfast and you only give us a

crumb. Let's coming out of the pass or else I'm not sure, but I can't tell you this much. Sydney will claim to have been dating it. Yeah, it's time for action. Cause Glenn put the sweater back on. And he gives a slick to the camera like, that's right. I'm putting my sweater back on back to it. Pass or else, okay, so the Transcendor,

they're still in the process of opening it very slowly. And Sydney's like, well, you know, everybody has bad docking, so it's part of boating. I mean, if you haven't had it, it's coming, you know. But I guess when you're like the most in shape, it's not that big of a deal. Am I right, guys?

Am I right? No. So, I just know this. I'm hotter than that Transom, and I'm better shaped than that that trancem, okay? That. Give me back my son. Oh, sorry, that's rancid, not trancem.

So it's like the door is still slowly opening and I was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hold on a second. There's stuff in the door, but there's something in the door. So they have to like stop the door and then Gary has to go up and he's gonna brush out debris. He's like, brushing out debris, brushing out debris. And I was like knowing this group of people, they're gonna still open that door and crush his poor fingers, but he actually does it okay.

And then just don't transom door, moment of truth. Will the transom door open Ronnie? It opens. It opens. Emmon glints like, well, you know know this was a bad day but the milk is spilled and you can't unproblem it like you were so close you even said the milk is spilled yeah so close so close how to spill the milk in the guest cart hers you can't put toothpaste back in a tube of milk. It's what I'm saying, Glam.

Oh, I don't want to be labeled the bitch again. But if it keeps spanned milk and the guest cartridge, when we're trying to get our job done, I'm gonna throw your right half the trunsome door now that it opens. So she tells us, in eight years of Yatton, I've never been on the boat that the tat, the dachla, alone, twice. It's insane.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ah, who's fault is it? So, now that everything is sort of like fine, they're higher up, they get a painter that's going to come. And so, now that everything can go back to normal, we can now focus on the fact that there's a nightmare charter on the horizon. And it's gonna be eight women.

And they all wanted gluten-free desserts and this and that and whatever. So Natasha's already in knowledge. She's like, what's up, how am I supposed to cook when they're all allergic to air? So in provisions and Daisy and Allie are talking and Daisy's like, Harsher and Xata and Allie sits there, you know, I'm just trying to decide how the handle it, have grown to like them so.

And then it cuts the music stuff, so it just cuts to Gary, chowing down a piece of pizza. Yeah. Allie. Allie. I have in cut, cut, cut, cut of cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut- cut He starts painting, he makes it look pretty much fine. And then, but he missed like a huge gash. Did you notice that? Like are we just going to ignore the huge white slash going across? He's like, okay, pretty much done. This is why you need to leave a supervisor, okay? People say, hey, okay, I'm done.

They need to be told, no, you're not tense, sir. Okay, turn around because there's still a big white gash. Okay, pink that. Yeah, maybe they're leaving not, Tense, or K, turn around, because they're still a big white gash, K, pink that. Yeah, maybe they're living it for JL to do or something. So now here are come the guests. And really all that we see are like various versions of the controversial stripey dress from that that broke the internet two years ago or three years ago. It's just like everyone seems to be wearing the same dress.

Oh, yeah. Here's what I noticed. They got Obo music, which I don't think has happened this season yet. That's good. I don't know what kind of animals these are in the Peter and the Wolf boat universe, but they're Obo's, okay?

It's like. Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo And it's just a bunch of girl voices going I'm excited I'm excited I'm excited Yeah, so so we meet Erica Rose who is known to people of the Bachelor Nation and also anyone who watched Mara Dameda's in Houston and she's like, Hi, I'm Linglan, we know you are. And this is my mom. And I specifically, she goes, Hi, I'm Erica. I'm Bluff, Bluff, Bluff, Bluff, Bluff, Bluff, Bluff, Bluff, Bluff, Bluff. She does like Amber O'Voys the entire episode.

She does, she does this weird, a Muppet voice. And I think she calls it Amber. Oh She actually has another Yeah, cuz it's no Brittany is Brittany or Amber cuz I'll get to it in the notes But at some point she goes just cat go She did mention Brittany, but I thought she was talking she I thought she was saying she was channeling Britney Spears Maybe Brittany, but I thought she was talking, I thought she was saying she was channeling Brittany Spears. Oh, maybe she was trying to make Brittany speak. I think it was just, I think she's just very inspired by Anne Borelle because Anne Borelle is like, all right, now we're going to cook the Asparagus and the broth. And you're like, whoa.

So Gary points out that they're all in matching outfits. Just funny. And we're going to the ladies guess, oh, you're the chef. I'm like the culinary school. Huh? She just died. She just died. She just died. That already, all right?

That was Cindy, uh, Erica's mom. And she says it to Colin, like, are you the chef? Because Nanny has to shift right there. Any points in Natasha who is actually wearing a chef's jacket. You idiot, Cindy. How do you not do it? There's one person in the chef's jacket. So Glenn's like,

I just wanna formally welcome you, Banky Dick. So they go on a tour, and they've got as much luggage as the airport baggage claim, of course. And Eric is like, oh, this is where I'll be perfect oh look at the color of that bag it looks like a stripper's bag I'm gonna fucking

date her so I have a question normally I have to deal my kids all the time and they're not here so we're gonna pop funa Mom, remember when you died you Somepac for me, he's dead He's dead, mom Mom I'll be spoiled And Jazz, will you have a drink with me?

Please Okay So then she's out on deck taking pictures The mom's taking pictures of the girls for the insta And she's out on deck taking pictures the mom's taking like pictures of the girls for the insta as I'm she's like Mama take one of me first for Trump Because this one Bianca has huge boobs and she has a Beginnian that's a basis like has Trump a branding on it like campaign branding

so This is like, has Trump branding on it? Like campaign branding? So, so like, so then they now they leave Doc and as the both leaving, they have like left a camera on the dark, just have a close up of Doc damage in the foreground, Doc's like, okay, all right, well just crash into me and leave. That's fine. Bye. I'm just broken. Okay. Yeah. So, um, Collin is basically telling us how traumatic the whole experience is and, you know, they're moving slower now. And then we cut to Natasha serving figs with pastrami and balsamic. Is that what you said?

Something like that. I didn't pay attention. I just know something with figs with pastrami and balsamic. Is that what she said? Something like that. I didn't pay attention. I just noticed something with figs and they're all eating these figs. Well, the figs weren't the crazy part. The pastrami is the crazy part. I hope she was saying prosciutto. Maybe she said prosciutto, but probably prosciutto.

Pastrami. I don't think a pastrami would play well with the scoop. It's probably prosciutto. So then the, now they are pulling up the anchors and this is one of the anchors pulls up a CQ Comber which is really apt I think because I feel like the CQ Comber's like oh my god my people I'm joining. I've been waiting all season long for a charter that I could fit in with and now I'm here. Yeah the CQ Comber comes up they're like what is that CQ Comber? He's like, tiny tata's foot, Trump.

Tiny CQCumber, Tata's foot. C-Trump. Baa! Make CQCumber's great again. So, just keep the CQCumber's like cotton to chain. So I think Colin thinks he's just gonna pull it off and then put it in the back in the water. So he like pulls it, but it just kind of like, settvers in half

and it's like all gooey and squids. It's like, and then they cross cut between the sea cucumber and then this girl Jess and Dibar shop, eating the figs that this gooey, fig thing is like, hmm, delicious. I was like, I wanna see you come back.

I wanna see you come back. I wanna see you come back. I wanna see you come back. I wanna see you go bird. And Erica's still going, Kitty's for Trump! Trump, hey, Trump! Make America a tetanum! Ma!

Um, and so, one of the girls there, which is a girl, is it Jess, who doesn't want to make it political? There's one who gets all stressed out over it. Yeah, she's more stressed out. Just like, oh my god, you guys, stop!, yeah, just like oh my god you guys stop and it's like I'm like I'm like I stopped side about that. You're like freaking out like I'm like it's just like I don't really like Political things like I didn't want to make this political. It's not political

Also, don't you in your single and she's on the market? This is beyond on the market, this is beyond concern. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I also want to point out that because they're all, they're sitting in like the living room area and when they, when they, Eric has sat down, she goes, this is such a beautiful area. I love how there's a seat for all of us. As if they like custom made this sectional for their charter, like thinking for making

that couch for us and having a perfect number of seats for all of us. It's amazing! It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial! Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So Jess is stressing out she goes down to the bar. I just don't want to make anyone uncomfortable with my political views. That right. So then, um, they're, she's being unpacked. Okay. So we go to Cindy's main cabin. Poor Ali is stuck there unpacking them, right? And Cindy is very Cindy and just won't shut up about anything. She's like, my house needs to hire someone to unpack

for Eric. Oh, this is kind of odd, but you know what? I'm sort of a comedian Someone might need to enter my daughter into a Miss Texas beauty passion I was like a party top of my matri and plummetry and that's important Just going on for 90 minutes just yapping to Ali and Ali's just losing her mind, hearing tales about littleness, Texas. So then, um, upstairs, you know, Erica is still trying to mollify jazz. My whole thing is that I'm all about everyone being their true authentic self.

And that's her self. And like, it's not yourself. And that's okay. So,'s not your zone and that's okay So Bianca comes up. She changes her she changes her bikini into a regular orange one because she doesn't want to be controversial anymore And the the drama is solved Yeah, so she's like okay guys no more Trump don't worry America's like do you have extensions?

This is really pretty air Gary and she's like rubbing her fingers through his hair He's like oh thank you I'm all I have to wash him condition it and all I know He says it as if like This just not something he would actually normally do on a month, at any time during a month. And then she's like, you know, I'm really pretty here. But your fingers do his hair. So then Vianca's like, okay, so Natasha, I'm going to talk about dinner tonight. I'm gluten free. Yes, I saw that. And I prefer to eat halal. And she's like, yes, I saw that.

Dinner tonight is not that big. It's like five courses. That's a lot. Okay, Bianca is so full of it. Let's all notice this little voice Bianca is talking in right now. Okay, she really is. I really like halal.

Because later in the episode, she's like, you are bullying me. Yeah, yeah. this is totally affected. And then when Jess is making fun of Beyond Cutong, she's like, I just speak long words. I don't know why. So then they're like, we want to sail. Can we sail?

But there's no wind, but know like whatever we'll just put the sails up so put the sails up and the boat is now basically not moving but they still love it Eric is like this is like so beautiful then we cut to Cindy who's still talking Ellie's head off in the bedroom she's like and her husband's a lot her husband's a lawyer and you know what he likes personal injury Would you like me to make a silhouette of you? I just love making silhouettes So so somewhat beyond cuz like I'm how fast are we even going like I mean, I don't know what it not is or anything and One of the girls is like oh, yeah, I know not so go ahead and tell me three knots. Oh

So basically I can like run faster if I'm about and Meanwhile Gary and Colin are on a different deck and they're just talking about whether or not the girls are gonna be a handful and Gary Like well, I think that basically what they're gonna do You're gonna get drunk and they're gonna pass out a bit me know, let me know. That's what's gonna happen. And Jess is out there, oh, deck above them. And she's like, are you guys talking shit about us? And they're like,

Oh, it's like, not cool. So she gets all mad. And then, and then, and then, Erica goes, Hey, man, man, you need a hot couple of them.'m just gonna look while we're here. So then, Jess is downstairs now and she encounters Daisy and she's like, I just heard people were talking shit about us and I just don't feel cool.

I just like it's just like it hurts or whatever and he's like Oh, no, this is a great crew. It's a great crew with Convertations all the time. That's like gonna be a great vacation and you'll have a great time and who's fault? Who was who was talking who's saying that things tell me tell me right now Jess is like tank that makes me feel bad So then Daisy calls a crew meeting in the laundry and they all run and giggling so they can talk shit. And she's, they're all doing her stupid voice, the Erica voice.

And Daisy's like, well, just sad, it's not okay. She heard someone slag her mouth. Gary's like, well, she said stop ghostpin about us. Oh, wow. So yeah, because he's acting as if he didn't talk shit, cause actually what he did do was bad. It was not cool that he was doing that right near a guest

ear shot. So, but then he's acting like, oh, she's actually like, look, I was talking shit, I wasn't talking shit. It's like you were talking shit. So then now Natasha's getting ready for dinner and stuff and Erica's wasted and burping everywhere and she's just sort of like Stumbling around and like I'm really channeling Britney on this

You know, okay, that's so you're right. Yeah, so then just is like you stabbed me you stabbed me with the eagle talisman You can bend those and make fist with those things. Geez girl and Natasha she's like no, I'm only gonna do three courses for dinner since they're hammered. And I, you know, like they won't remember, you know, they don't remember that I said, you know, they won't appreciate five courses. They will not remember that I said five courses. Draw people eat anything. Now Natasha, I think that Natasha needs to learn how to be drunk because my experience is that when I am drunk, I eat. Not only I do eat anything, but I also eat lots of it. And if you reduce the number of courses, when

I'm drunk eating, that's a problem. That's going to be a problem for me. Yeah, you can't tell people five courses and then just not do it. I was crazy. And she does that. She does it a lot. So the sales coming down and the girls go get ready for dinner and Erica's like guys wow, it's like a really hard to get ready. I want that And and then we see Glenn calling up his Norma Except her name is Moira of course, which is almost Norma But Moira is the insurance agent. He's like, so we touched the dock and scraped off a bit of the transom.

There was some cavitations and the, was a glitch and the thing. And you know, it's just a little, just a little, okay, the entire back of the boat's missing. So what do we do now? If it helps you can mark that on your form that I was super upset about it, I even took off my sweater at one point.

I was mad, I was super upset about it. I even took off my sweater at one point. I was mad. I was mad. So the days he's like, Ali, maybe we should set up inside because it's getting windy. Oh, no, that's Danny. She's like, why don't we set up a side that's getting windy. And then the wind comes and starts blowing around the place maps and they're giggling and then horror music plays. play some hats and they're giggling and then horror music plays. It's just play smats flying. I'm like every week those play smats try to escape. Like this is it guys. This is our time. They're not paying attention. Let's make a run for it. And Sydney's just standing on deck like, but we're dating. Where are you going?

So now there's like Gus and there's Lightning at Storm of the Century and guys I don't feel like I'm C-Seg. Where's the best place to go for your C-Seg? Hi, I have a menu yet, what's your name? D-S-E-S-E- Oh, you look different you're not saying sick your hammered the one girl goes I'm literally sliding why are we rolling in a circle right now

like you guys are wasted that's why I I thought she said rowing where are we rowing in a circle right now? It could have been either one. It works. So what are the courses of salmon with cauliflower puree and the girls or the guests are all sitting down and Jean-Luc almost flies away in the tender because it's crazy outside. And Eric is like, this letter earlier reminds me of the toilet plan.

Can you regulate something? I'm a highly suicide. Do I have to read something that I can do? Well, there's not much you can do about it, but I'll call my friend Moira. She might be able to help out. I don't know. I'll put off my sweater, though.

So then, it's like, what can she do? What can they do, Eric? It's literally a squall. So you know, like, that's like the what can she do? What can they do, Eric? It's literally a squall. So you know, that's the worst kind of Karen. You want to speak to the manager of the weather, like seriously, lady. So I got really excited for this next part and it didn't really pay off, which is that. I know why. Can I guess?

Yes. Because there's the lady named Myro with bangs. No, but I appreciate that. I got excited because Natasha made shrimp in, like top us in, in those like clay, clay jar, not clay jars, but they get, you know those sort of like, I forgot what they're called, they actually have a name, and I'm forgetting a Spanish name,

but there's this clay earthenware and She's like, please remember to check them that these fucking hot and I was like, please let all these girls touch the earthenware and burn their finger. Oh It's not and I was so expecting You know mass finger trauma for all these girls. And it never happened. And I was so sad. Yeah, they're like, it's God. My favorite thing was my row with bangs, which I've already said.

But they just got to this lady who has, you know, those bangs, they're like super short and they kind of stick out. It's like they maybe they got really mad and then they cut them off. And so now they just, it looks like somebody stole the bangs Yeah, and she's just kind of like cross that I'll know she's drinking, but I was like there follow her I want to know about my rib bangs. Well, myro is the one who came to rest of these idiots Myro came in the matching dress to Cindy like she's clearly Cindy's sidekick like she's oh, okay So she has no attention. Yeah, she gets no attention Cindy Cindy keeps her around to make her self look prettier, you know.

So, um, or my, uh, I know, but it's, you know, it's, it's a, it's a phenomenon that is an actual social psychological thing. Uh, because I took social psych in college and we learned about the concept of basking in relative. Basking in reflected glory, which is basically when you're a completely ugly friend who hangs out with a pretty friend and then you get the reflected glory of the pretty friend, but then the pretty friend keeps the ugly friend because it makes the pretty friend seem prettier. It was a thing that we learned about.

Oh my God, it's like us. Now you guys have to decide which is which I Mean everyone knows about it Everyone knows about it. I'm not gonna engage I'm just engaging but everyone knows about that concept But I don't think anyone realizes that it's actually like codified in psychology like academia so Either way poor myro we're just really just... Yeah, that got super deep. That got deep.

That got deep about the bag. Look at Myra changed my life. I just like got all this knowledge dropped on me. Thanks Myra. She's basking in the reflected glory. So they're eating food in America. I was like, oh, I'm feeling bad. I'm bad at singing.

Had an all really long time. Our customers make me feel better. She's like, I gotta go pee pee. All the way open the store. Well, first of all, thank you, editors, for the extended scene of Ericaping. No one really needed that, but thanks. So C.P.s, and then she gets stuck in the ass.

Like, bang, bang, bang, yeah. So I can't get out of you. Boy. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Boy! Just like the Titanic. So they've Jay-Z has like, you know, liberator from the bathroom. And then there's just more thunder and lightning. And the girls are all starving. They're all starving.

And so Jay-Z comes down. The Tasha's making dessert. And the girls are already starting to talk about how that's five carcasses, right? And Daisy's like Natasha, Natasha, you didn't tell the guests that were having five courses, did you? She's like, no, I told them three. I definitely told them three.

Well, Erica seems to think it was five. She's like, nope, nope, this three. I told them three So she's like these she has done this over and over again, and it's passing me off First and miscount the Peters and now you're going to miscount the courses Stop right So all the ladies like I'm so hungry So all the ladies like I'm so hungry God I'm only I'm so hungry till I'm hungry

And I like the one girl the by the way they get served this like Tower of berries wasn't like a berry to your msu I don't ever I really was but it's like a tower of berries and this one girl goes. Oh, we have a palette cleansing Like it's a giant dessert. This is that you think it's a palette cleansing Yeah, they're like no no no, we're it's a giant dessert that she thinks it's a palette cleansing. Yeah, they're like no, no, no, no, it's over. And they're like, well, I'm so hungry. So one lady goes to ask for more food. Jen tell her Jen. Jen tell them we're hungry. Jen, can you do it, Jen? It's like, hi, I'm Jen. We still hungry. And the touch was like touch is like oh sure I'll do something no problem and Danny runs right today'sy and tells her or Daisy runs right to Danny and tells her she's like you won't believe what the

Fassat it Oh first first we have Convitations are now this now this she's going to make steaks as if we had no cavitations in the first place this she's going to make stakes as if we had no capitals in the first place. So they get their stake and glen sees them being made and he's like, what course is this? This is after dessert isn't it? Well that's interesting. Wow. Wait, so that makes wet around her offer. I don't know how to feel about this. I'm just going to watch. So at 10 o'clock Gary's actually correct because at 10 o'clock after dinner they all decided to go downstairs to go to bed. And then JL is sort of walking around

and he's like, oh, huh. He's like, things are popping up down there. I don't think I have an STD but I'm thinking to myself, I got Climidia again The producer goes I don't even know what Climidia is he goes you don't want to So then Gary is that's the first time in history of Bravo where they they went out of their way to make the producer seem like the idiot not the on camera person So Gary is texting out speaking of Climidia, Gary is texting Hale, and he's like, Come have a good night card, oh boy. That's the emoji he uses that. Boy, that's what it does. And she's like, Mark tonight.

Ha, ha, ha. Things are changed for me now because I don't know what Sydney's upset. I feel bad for her, because I'm a good person. I'm a good person. Oh, good. So then Gary is talking to Danny and Danny's teasing him like, do you like her?

Do you like her? And he's like, well, I'm just going to play cool, which is why I'm texting her over and over again. I don't know. Then Sidney is talking to Gary up in the bridge while they're switching shifts or whatever and Like do you like my pants? This gas roll pants stock of me and Gary

So then everyone goes to bed and then it's the morning and Jail goes in the bathroom And he's like oh and he tells us that his junk is getting redder and redder and he's worried. He's got red junk. Um, so then in the morning, uh, it's still terrible weather. And someone's like, you know what? I want a snorkel and be on because like, yeah, but it's like cold. Do we have like scuba suits? And just like, it's not scuba, it's snorkeling.

Whoa. Yeah. It's pretty angry. Very angry. So Bianca goes up to Daisy and is like, is there any way we can get massages? It's like, lady, we're, it's like, it's a pandemic. And you had to quarantine for two weeks just to get onto this boat. And now you want to last minute.

Last minute, stranger brought on the boat to get to literally just to touch you. People like this are pings in the ass about every single little thing, you know? It's like, oh, I have to eat gluten, I have to eat howl while I'm eating a massage. Do we have snarkle So I appreciate everything you're the best Yeah, so then Let's see hammer. Oh, so then tasey's like Danny. Hey mochya want to earn in top Mm-hmm either you want to earn in top you want to do massage

And she's like well. I studied to be an esthetician, but I hate doing massage. Yeah, but ultimately she says she's gonna do it because it's for the tip, everything for the tip. So then up on the, up on one of the decks, all the girls are hanging out and they're just kind of like making fun of Bianca, talking about the way she talks or whatever

and like her boobs. They're just like, they're kind of like rousing her but like You know, I just thought they were having a good time But then so then Bianca goes down to get her massage and now while she's down there now the girls are saying Oh, yeah, Bianca looks like she's getting past. I think she's getting past Yeah, well, you know what she's getting catered to hand in foot getting massage She's that's not how I roll. And she doesn't want to be the center of being picked on.

She needs to dial back the, ee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e to this like a drop down here. I don't want to go on on the paddleboard. You want to come with me. And so he's going to take her out and Jess is going to go all on a road. Cause she's a bad guy. Yeah. I mean, well, beyond cause getting her massage and she's like, I'm super stressed out. Like, this has been the most stressful trip I've ever taken. I'm like, you were on a yacht doing not a thing. I think, yeah. I have to change my bikini. I'm so upset. So those girls are paddle boarding and everything.

It's like really fun, but then guess what? Jess goes paddle boarding way out there and then it starts to rain. Yeah. So everybody has to go in and Jess just screams and falls off for paddle board, but they all they all get back and guys, guess what? Jay, I'll probably guys climb in here. I don't know if you've heard, but he's walking around going, oh, shit, fuck, my dick.

So then he's like are you okay? Do I want to know and he goes? I'm just not feeling well a down there He means his penis Yeah, she says and he's like you know, I'm concerned cuz it's starting to hurt and she's like oh my god What do you have that you gave me now you fucking asshole So then Danny gets now Danny goes does everyone she goes up daisy and she's like jails worried that something's wrong with his fucking penis And he's like oh it's probably just cavitations. No big deal and then um and then we go up to Bianca She's like i'm not gonna lie. I feel

And then we go up to Bianca and she's like, I'm not gonna lie, I feel really uncomfortable. The girls are like being weird towards me. Yeah, well, not as not cool, not cool at all. All right, come on up. We can just ignore the mean ones. Let's just sit by ourselves. Oh, so they go up for lunch. And Danny's telling Natasha, she's like, oh my god, I'm freaking out because STDs sit by ourselves. So they go up for lunch.

Danny is telling Natasha. She's like, oh my god, I'm freaking out because STDs and Taisy's like, it could be anything. Come on. It could be a headache on the stick. It could be, maybe his dick just needs a crutch. It could be anything. Yeah. And then she's talking to, and she's talking to Natasha. And she's like, you know, I could be, and it could be something totally different. And then Danny, Danny, she's talking to Natasha, and she's like, you know, it could be something totally different. And then Danny, Danny, in a way to be like, thank you. She puts her hands right on Natasha's mouth. And I'm like, now look, she's trying to be nice to you, but she probably also doesn't really need you putting

your fingers on her lips, as much as she's serving food for guests. So maybe, maybe like, maybe not do that. And Natasha, because I mean, this could be anything at all. I don't know, you know, look, I don't know about hemorrhoids, but it could be something different from what you're thinking. Like, yes, not hemorrhoids. Natasha, it's not hemorrhoids.

No. So speaking of, speaking of Climidia, let's get into the most Climidia, let's get into the most Climidia-ick cheese of all time, Barata. Okay. So Daisy serves some Barata and rocket salad. Yeah. And Jess tells, uh, Jess tells Erika, okay, hold on, let me get these girls straight in

my mind now. So Jess is like are you okay now and Erica's like You're acting crazy. She goes how am I acting crazy? It's because you're asking me if I'm okay That's why and then beyond jump saying she's like I feel like you are acting clicking All right, cuz I feel awkward when I walk into a room like I'm ignoring it I'm in the rough and something and you're all being clicky with each other Like Pion could just lose his her shit and get the totally new trucker man voice. Yes, and again This was all this all started because someone asked to pass the barada and Erica was like I can do it And everyone's

like why did you say it that way and that's where and now all of a sudden Bianca is yelling and Jess is like listen I don't think anyone here wants to hurt anyone well I'm not so sure so you know you guys you guys have all been bullying me and everyone has had my name in their mouths. And Cindy's like, well, I hope you leave me out of this because all I've ever done is try and get my daughter unpacked. And beyond, I have been slutsharing slutsharing. Like she's having a fit. And meanwhile, Danny's calling her mom freaking out and being like, I want to just leave.

I can't even be here. And it's cutting back and forth. And Jess is like, you know what? I feel like you're saying that directly to me. And she goes, every single one of you, this was such a bad idea to go with big girls on vacation. I have no allies here. I literally have no idea what she's freaking out about.

Like the sludge-y-amic. Is it because someone told her to change bikini tops? So then no, it's because Erica and it was Erica that was teasing her and she's yelling at everybody else because Erica goes, Hey girls, look, I'm going to do an imitation of Bianca. Look at me boys, hey boys, look at me. She's like rubbing her boobs because Bianca's flirting with everybody. So-hmm. So then Danny goes up to Daisy and it's like, so you know how many people are on last charter and so I don't think you'll really need me so I just don't want to be here anymore.

I just don't want to be here. And Daisy's like, I have fucking cannonball! And that brings us to the end of a bull odyk. Yes. Such a good episode. It's craziness. It's crazy to me that we witness the worst nautical disaster in the franchise's history.

And it still wasn't the worst thing in the episode. Yeah. Wow. Well. Wow. Well, everybody, thank you so much for being here for a blow-dick. We'll be out with our more of that episode soon, and we'll be back tomorrow with a little real housewives of New York City. I have to work on my fat Albert voice to be able to do Erica. Err.

Alright, everybody, we'll talk to you later. Bye. Oh All right everybody will talk to you later. Bye Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley Savoni. She don't take no baloney Dana C Dana do she's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela itchles. Let's rent some errands with Emily Aaron Aaron McNickles. She don't miss no trickleus. All the Nagila Weber. Jamie, she has no last namey. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

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