Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Sailing: 'Til Dietary Restrictions Do You Part
Episode Date: June 15, 2022There's a wedding and Celiac disease on this week's Below Deck Sailing Yacht, and if that doesn't get you excited, we don't know what will.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and ...California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
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Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is
What
happens
Crab
Kids, what happens when this all happens? You want crap?
Oh, when you want me to crap?
Kids, what happens when this all happens?
Hello, and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Brava that we just love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today for the pen-ultimate episode recap of below Dexalingott. Mr. Ronny Caram, how are you?
Well, hello, Beninlite. Beninlite, I like that. It's like a smaller version.
Smaller version of the normal me. One can only dream. How are you? That's a little tiny version of Ben.
How are you doing today? Good, I'm biting my stupid thumbnail.
I've got like an elephant thumbnail.
I don't know why it's so big and hard to bite,
but like is it really worth losing a tooth on a thumbnail?
Like calm down.
I don't even know.
Like do I have anxiety?
What does that mean?
I can't stop thinking about it.
I'm like, ah, my thumbnail.
I'm going back to my thumbnail.
I'm working on it.
Like it's a project.
But hell, I'm getting old over here, okay?
I'm over it.
You got a rapid and like, I guess,
I was going to say spinach,
but I think that actually now that we're adults,
that's actually lovely.
So like, rapid and something else.
Rapid and bacon, rapid.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, great.
Yeah, see?
Now you don't want to buy it.
Yeah, it's $7. I'm like, man, I'm good, but I'm like, man, I'm dying now.
Yeah, thanks for the advice.
So, as I have for everybody, running hate, robick, and on accident, because the, the,
the, the nail was just too exciting.
His elephant thumbnail wouldn't, wouldn't stop tingling his brain. Get it in there.
Well, first of all, I'll talk about tingling on the brain. Thanks to everyone who came
out to take a seat last night. It was really fun. A lot of good things, a lot of silly things
happening in the world of bravo that we discussed. Chiefly, Joe Gorkga losing his mind on again about
losing his mind as I am right now towards one of his tenants.
And so if you if you missed it, go to Spotify and you can find
a you can find that on demand, not Joe Gorega, but take a seat.
And then, um, can Joe Gorega be far behind now?
I mean, that guy is a stone.
That guy is one breakdown away from only fans.
Now, I support that. I think we have all support Joe Geron fans. Yeah, I think Joe Gorgas
is going to just be getting himself in so much trouble that finally is going to be all dick all
the time. And I'm in. I am in. Well, currently he's on only rent as in like, where's my rent money?
Where's my rent money?
There he is.
There's rent.
I'm gonna be on only thumbnails.
We're gonna have to wear those in the world who get off on watching people being obsessed
with biting their thumbnail for no reason at all.
Maybe it's the same truck driver and convict who also follow Larza Pippen.
Hey, they're just friends.
So we're in a Lini Tune mood today.
So that's good because guess what's not in a Lini Tune mood.
Bulletin sailing.
Hey, clean something.
Why don't you?
Hey, I got my deal.
So have a show about cleaning
a toy lamps. Okay, who came with this? This is the, this is the episode where some perfectly pleasant
if wayfished people come on board and have a generally nice wedding. And Mark goes worries about
baking a cake. That's what today's episode is.
This is called cheat people on a boat.
Okay, and we've seen it before.
We'll see it again, but these people are tricky fuckers.
Okay, this cup.
Oh, go on.
I would like to hear about this.
You know a wedding cost nine million dollars, right?
Everybody who's ever been married,
like on paper, it's like two million dollars,
but then when you really talk to them, and they're having their mental breakdown and figuring out how they can declare bankruptcy
because of their wedding, like even the small weddings that take place in a park are $9 million.
Everybody knows it, it costs a lot of money to throw a wedding.
So these people get a discounted cruise or whatever because you get discounted for going
on this show.
So they get that discounted.
They probably made everybody pay for themselves. So like we'll space it. So they got a, a leg were didn't pay for
shit. I'm telling you that right now. Her name is Allegra. So then they got a discount
for everything. Then they made the captain do the fucking vows and the chef do the food.
Boom, you've got the cheapest wedding known to man. Not only that, they're pretending to be these nice people, but they put everybody around them through
hell with their is not only celiac because I get it. Like people have disease diseases
and all of that stuff. Listen to me, I eat raw bacon on my thumbnail. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
But not only that, but they make everybody crazy with their no one. Ian's no garlic, no this, no that typical California a holes pretending to be nice and
really screw in everybody around them.
Yeah, my take on them, they were giving me like Swarthmore vibes.
I was like, I feel like this group of people met at a small liberal arts college and they
get together once a year, and they probably go
on a, they go backpack somewhere, they probably go camping, they probably tell stories that
they like meet, and they go camping on the beach north of San Francisco, and then they
take pictures in front of the waterfall that's there, because I have done that hike, but
I hated every moment of it. And, uh, but I you. But I'm like, I'm glad I've done that hike
because now I have a frame of reference
for what these people do for fun.
That was something that I did because my friends
were all doing it, so I went along with it,
but I hated it.
But I know they love it.
These people love that hike.
And they would camp out at that waterfall.
And then they do, then they like, they go to Colorado
and they camp some more.
And then they share stories. They made someone maybe bring the like, they go to Colorado and they camp some more.
And then they share stories.
They made someone maybe bring the guitar and they sing songs.
And then they go, oh my god, they campfire guitar person.
Like why do our standards suddenly drop just because we're around a campfire?
It's like, oh, you suddenly don't need to know how to play a guitar to have one in front
of the campfire.
Anywhere else they'd be boot off the stage.
But in front of a fucking campfire, it's fine because because we don't have a TV for like two hours for lives.
And we're like, you know what?
Music is good.
I don't care.
I don't care if it doesn't even make any sense.
And it makes my head hurt.
It's something that best music in the world.
And then after they're done camping,
when they're not camping, they also go to like,
a David Gray concert or like they go to a lecture.
I mean, these things are actually like nice things to do, but the way they do them, I don't
like.
Yeah, I'm way they do.
They all put together.
You know, I'll put together the David Gray, the theoretical lecture that then they tell
her, oh, actually, it's, it's not that they go to a lecture,
so that one of them has been to a lecture.
And then it did, I was like,
well, I actually went to this very interesting lecture.
Oh, yeah, it's like, you've never,
and it's all, it wasn't it?
I'm not sure.
It wouldn't be about rabbits.
It would be about post-modern movements
in architecture or something.
I don't know.
I'm actually like, wait,
I wanna hang out with these people now. I don't know. I'm actually like, wait, I wanna hang out
with these people now.
I wanna seek their approval.
A rabbit lecture, I know we're suddenly
both camping with guitars.
Really?
Can you play that David Gray song again?
I say this is if I didn't have a David Gray album in 2000.
So too, I think how much sexual people have been wandering
around the campground with guitars. As can us, if we have talked to the couple that's been to a rabbit lecture.
Anybody?
Keep them out for those two weirdos.
One of them's got a bloody thumbnail with some sort of rob meat around it.
At dinner parties, they play the carpenters, but like in a hipster way, like they just discovered
them.
They're like, you know, the carpenters are great. I love when people play the carpenters and go, oh my god, there's such a sadness there. Yeah, so haunting
It's like their bombshell inside
We talked about that at the rabbit lecture. Okay
Let's really more about birds and how they suddenly appear.
No, that's crazy.
That is that is the sign you're crazy.
I'm worried about I'm crazy because of my thumbnail obsession all the sudden, but that's crazy.
Bird suddenly appear every time you are near you've gone fucking crazy Cinderella.
Okay, that's what's happened to you.
Okay, Karen, okay, like the birds with their all along. They didn't just appear you just looked up
Carried that's why that's where that name comes from that that slur
Karen that's there that evil slur
The original
Characters Carpenter
It goes from Karen complaining to the manager about bird suddenly appear
She's actually Karen and complaining to the manager about Bird suddenly appeared. That is actually a Karen.
Rand, why do birds suddenly appear every time you're near?
She's like, I'm in a store.
Excuse me.
Can I get any waiter?
Because a bird suddenly appear every time you're here.
And I'm coming.
And let me tell you something.
We've only just begun, OK?
So that was below deck, thank you guys. So that was the end.
Listen, so days that's just the mood you show up in.
Thank God, thank God, because we need that mood today for this episode, for this group of the nine,
but quiet potential scammers who listened to Karen Carpenter
because it's cool and go to lectures and camp
and listen to David Gray too.
And I want a follow up to see if they ended up
suing the boat because the stupid husband
got on the rope swing and then couldn't swing
and the candidate like crashing into the boat.
Because you know, like rope was like they never
should have allowed you to do that. I'm a leg. Well, I just don't believe you can
be named after an allergy medicine and not be an asshole. Well, you know, the
worst part about it is that none of them probably even thought to make a
Miley Cyrus reference, you know, like a wrecking ball. They're like, oh, is that a
song? You know, they did that. Oh, I don't. I'm not really into Miley Cyrus. They know one of them said, you know, one of them is like,
I actually don't own a TV. You know, you know, you know, it was the one, you know,
it's a girl who can't eat onions and garlic. Yeah,
I'm calling you if that person's in or whatever.
Dress like a first go into a funeral. Yeah. Yeah, it sees it sickly sick.
Or I know some's who it is.
Okay, so, first of all, first wedding episode, 316.
So we, it is 5.50 pm, which is odd time for BulloDec, because it's usually 5.51 or
5.52.
So I already know this episode's in trouble, because they start timing things on even numbers.
Yeah, it's true.
It should, it should always be on a very strange minute.
And it's on a strange, ish minute,
but not as strange as it could be.
So it's 18 hours until charter.
And you guys are like,
oh, we ready for the last charter of the season guys?
Can you believe it's coming to an end? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Gary's like, yeah, the chick doesn't eat anything.
Now, score it.
And they're all sitting at the table together.
Right.
I think you mentioned that.
It's a continuation of last time.
So we'll through as it dinner together.
And I'm just a beautiful one.
Everyone's having fun.
And then Gary who's sitting right in the center of the table acts like he's talking low to talk to Scarlet, but he's
always talking in stage whisper, you know? Yeah. He's like scarlet for the first time
we have together. Let's make the most of it. Cheers. We're gonna spend the night together
right now. He's only talking like he's in Howard's End or something for the time that we have together
to make the midst of it.
It's like you were not going on some partying, you're not going across the Atlantic to America
while she stays in England, which I don't know if that happens in Howard's End, but I'm
saying of that genre that tends to happen, okay?
And he's acting like that.
I'm like, what do you mean for the time we have together let's make the most, you just
don't have anything, you guys just fellow employees, okay? So he's basically trying to like lock this down and he's like want to hang out and she's like
Yeah, with everybody. He's like, oh, are you really worried about that?
You really worried about that? She's like, yeah, I want to be good with everybody and it's like, but you all good with everybody
What about being good to me every time I show you affection? You're like, no, stop it.
Like because every time she gets in trouble with her boss,
Gary, you guys are employees together,
which he doesn't owe you any sort of, you know,
like a special attention because you give her affection?
No.
Yeah, what are you Ashley?
Back off.
Yeah.
Back off.
Stop Ashley and Scarlett, okay, back officer.
And so he said, but I thought you like me.
And she said, well, I did, but it's just more trouble than it's worth, okay?
It's like exercise.
And Kerry's like, well, then I guess she is for myself.
Well, you guys know this little lit wedding or beach.
There's a wedding on the beach.
And Ashley's with her mouth full. She's like, I'm gonna like,
I'm gonna have a show or school. I'm gonna have a few more.
Ashley's been eating her feelings for like several episodes now ever since Scarlett came on board.
And meanwhile, how they talk about about how they always talk about like,
oh my god, it's so fancy.
This is a super yacht.
This is not how we do things on a super yacht.
You've got Ashley spitting out food
and what's her buds, Kelsey, right next to her,
flossing her fucking mouth with her pair.
I know.
Her dinner, Elf.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that does crack me up every time I see it though.
I rewind it to see if there's like any chunks on the end, you know, because who comes out with a clean
Clean floss. If you come out with a clean floss, you're not eating right, okay?
You can meet a chunky floss. If you come out with a clean floss, you probably wouldn't throw it away.
And it's disposable for a reason.
So you should be throwing out her hair. So, Collins, like, say, Marcus,
you got a gluten free person,
we got a gluten free person you got a cook for.
She's like, yeah, but a really heavy one.
She's celiac, can't have pasta or potatoes or rice.
And Collins, like, very concerned,
because Marcus is like lost at sea, but Collins is like, very concerned, because Marcus is, like, lost it, lost it,
so, but Collins, like, very concerned.
He's like, I just want to be there for Marcus,
the way that no one's really been there for me,
but I can just imagine how it would feel like.
Kelsi Kee is doing this thing
with the conversations around her, gonna, I'm,
she's doing that thing in the housewives,
always doing the confessional with her, like, shade, shade, shade. I just gave her shade.
And they put the straw in the mouth and like do a really big stage sift on their
straw. But Kelsey's not really reacting to anything. She just keeps doing the
shade straw. She's like, ooh, shade. He's someone's got celiac guys. More like shadeiac.
Am I right?
That deserved it.
That deserved to shade.
Slurp.
Yeah, Shade Slurp.
So Collins, like listen, Marcus, we here for you and you're going to learn how to
delegate and part of delegating is asking people for help.
So for instance, do you want to try it on me?
But I just can't do it because it's celiac disease and that's a very very hard
All right, well, we'll we'll workshop that delegate in process them. I just want anyone to ask me something
Even if it is for me to help out that's all
It's the last charter you want to leave on a high note. I get it mean. I
You want to leave on a high note? I get it, man. I understand. I was like, okay, hugs calling. So they invite Marco at and he's at Marcos at and he's like, no, I have cake to make a CD, cake to make. So they go back to the boat and Gary and Scarlett, Gary's up scarlets, who I again basically, so she's sitting with him while he smokes and she's like are you done you want to go up now?
He's like no, I won't say with you. I
Want to kiss you want to shake
She's like stop it slimer
And meanwhile Barnaby and Ashley are being silly, it's like,
let's be naughty of the hill.
Ashley, what do you think?
Whoa.
Just like, he's just giving up on trying to get any sort of ass.
She's doing some weird platonic silliness with him.
And then they turn into the-
She's just wrapping him over and over again,
basically, and laughing.
So then Marcos is telling us how cooking for Celiax takes more effort.
And he's like, and I won't mess up this last charter.
And Gary's like, come on, stop working already.
Come on down.
And he's like, I got Celiax.
Yeah, Gary's a terrible influence.
This guy has like one more charter.
He's dressed out here.
And by the way, all of all they've been saying
to him is like, man, you got you can't like burn the candle at both ends. So now here's
Marco is trying to get ahead of his work and like do some of it. So that way the next
day he's not killed. And now they're trying to make him not do it. That's so Gary.
But Gary's really just there. He doesn't care what Marcus does. He just wants to talk
about, you know, his dick is usual. So he's like, come on, I tried kissing Scarlett
and she pulled away from me.
Oh, here, she wants to have a good relationship with everyone.
Well, too late, bro.
Well, well, well, well.
It's like what a terrible thing to aspire for,
having a good relationship with your fellow co-workers.
You know what the people they work for.
Yeah.
So there's like shots going on and Marcos is preparing stuff and then Gary is like,
you know, first of all, it's me a little bit, Scott, what do I have to hide my affection for you?
And she's like, Gary, stop. He's like, but do you understand where I'm coming from? She's like,
no, I don't. He's like, oh, he starts waving his fingers like, no, no, no, no, no, no,
He's like, oh, he starts waving his fingers like, no, no, no, no, no.
You know, I went in for a kiss from you and you pulled away from me.
I'm like, hello, guys, like, hello, I went in for a kiss and I'm nothing like.
And then Daisy wanders in and say, well, the glasses.
Then Gary, he's literally just been a friend-zoned for the third time in five minutes on this episode. Tells us,
What, I'm not one lazy to be angry with Scarlet, so I'm just gonna let it be.
What a salt-kitty would have let it go. You didn't let it go. You got dropped, dude.
Yeah.
Finally, if I'm acting like this is your decision.
Yeah, yeah, finally. If I'm acting like this is your decision multiple times
So now there's like shots and shots and Glenn's getting into bed and there's more shots And there's more shots and then Gary's shooting in the bathroom and then Glenn on the phone and then Gary being like
Glenn's like, oh, what are you looking for you want a big big wide cracker? That sort of looks like MOTSA?
I got a ton of those.
No, I just need some toilet paper.
It's possible.
Yeah.
Rich food, captain.
All right.
Ah!
Well, that's something was wrong,
but I am listening to a documentary podcast
about seals mating with kid whales.
So, well, wasn't really really sure that was just in my years
or if it was real. Oh rich. So yeah, so we're watching Gary poop.
Yeah, everybody. And then not only were watching him poop, we then are also watching Glenn
lying in his bed with Eminem and Eminem
Carton on his chest watching something.
I mean, my fucking hero this guy.
You need someone in life he can look up to, and that's him.
That's my guy.
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So then upstairs, you're playing a slapping game that they learned from the last charter
where you take a shot and then you slap each other.
And so Daisy gets to slap Gary and when she does, she's to shot in her face.
And he's like, oh, go daisy.
A lot of extra.
Yeah, it was like both like Gary, but also, but also like vodka blah blah, splashing on days. It was like double blah. And it was I kind of felt bad for days.
You'd have all of Gary's like backwash vodka backwash on her face. I mean,
well, but you can also see that there's some yeah, at least there's there's some, you know, purifying
vodka
this time to help out because normally she's just unprotected. Yeah, exactly.
And then it somehow disegways into them doing some weird worm
relay race, and Ashley was trying to do the worm on the deck,
but she doesn't really get her traction going.
She's sort of as like writhing, just generally writhing
on the on the teak.
I'm just imagining lots of scrapes.
Yeah.
And then they all do the worm.
They all start doing the worm together.
And Dave's is like, I know it's a skew.
No, I shouldn't be gone cry.
So they're supposed to go to bed, but they don't really.
And then we get a flush back to Tom, you know, going to crazy on a school night and barfing
that like a well barfing where it's like barf barf
and it's really gross and also really fun at the same time oh Tom we have a
memory memories so anyways and Marcus is like he's trying to go to sleep,
but now he's like having too much fun.
And so he's like, he's talking about how he doesn't really
have any time.
He was gonna go to sleep at midnight and wake up at 3,
but then they're trying to keep him up.
And then the guys just start rough housing.
And Marcos is like, you know,
I've never had this kind of fun in my life.
And then the three of them just start like,
kind of slapping each other and they're like slapping and pushing each other.
And just like cracking up and they just keep slapping.
And it was so I was like, what is wrong with you guys?
And yet at the same time, I was also just like cracking up
because they looked like they were having so much fun.
It was so cute actually.
Yeah, they were slapping and then they end up all kind of
like in bed together.
And the bottom part just kind of like in bed together. The bottom.
It was actually really enduring.
I was like rolling my eyes, but also kind of like I want to be friends with them.
So then at 7 30 a.m. My days, he's like, all I can smell is to call.
Yeah.
And now it's 8 a.m. and there's only four hours
until the next charter and Marcos is still asleep.
And everyone's cleaning and everyone's slow,
but they're cleaning and they're cleaning slow.
And now there's only three hours until the charter
and Marcos is still asleep.
And even Colin is asleep, which is surprising
because Colin is the most responsible person there.
Yeah.
And everybody's way hungover,
but they're trying to get some energy and Kelsey's squealing our last group clean
Bay, yes. And the captain's like, where the fuck are these guys? Knock knock. Are you guys getting up? We've got charter in three hours.
I'm not there. Dead. Dude, if you're hungover, that's self-inflicted. I don't give a shit.
So, now it's two hours until the guests,
Scarlet can't find her walkie talkie,
but she finds it, and then provisions arrive,
and they're all miserable,
because that's to carry heavy things.
I personally hate watching them load up provisions,
because there's nothing like an endless dream
of heavy boxes that you have to carry places.
We've all been in those weird situations where you're like,
it's at work.
And for some reason, you have to carry a lot of boxes
somewhere.
It's like the worst.
It's so annoying.
I can't be.
It all comes back to camping in the end in this episode.
Because my friend used to love to make us.
She's one of those outdoor people.
So she's like, oh my god, guys, that's crap. And she would always plan where we're going, you know, because she knew.
But then it was endless boxes and tents. And she would bring everything, you know, and it took
longer to get to the damn place that we're supposed to put up the tent. It's just good to hotel.
The hotel's only. Yeah, the endless stream of boxes makes me crazy to you.
So Gary and Captain are talking and it's another time where they're not going to be likely
to sell except for a little tiny window and the captain is writing his speech, but weddings
give him a rash and Collins, like, have you married anyone before? And he's like, no, I was
supposed to in our first charter, but thankfully they had a big bus stop. I
didn't have to do it. And then we see
a memory of that charter. That was really good. We're the guy we're getting married. Yeah, fuck you. Now fuck you bitch.
Chasing each other around the boat and crying. Yeah, that was like in the pre-daisyie era, which is like, we tried not to think about it,
but it's like, we saw like, you saw like a, like, pageant and Sierra in the background, who
have since broken up, thankfully. So then, now the guests are like ready to get picked up and
Scarlet knocks over a glass. This is where we're at.
And Marcos is like,
I'm Marko's still doesn't know what he's gonna make.
He's like, I'm blank.
I'm so blank.
This charter is going to be a complete nightmare.
I am so blank right now.
And this is where he tells us that they're not only
celiac, they can't have onion, garlic, parsley.
I mean, this just goes beyond.
This is when you need to just start carrying around like little Capri sun packs with your
food in it.
Yeah.
And leave everybody else the hell alone because this is crazy.
This is like one person out of what eight people or whatever that has.
Laura.
Yeah, fucking Laura.
So then the guests are on their way and Kelsey is telling Barnaby that he looks like
Albert Einstein, and the captain welcomes the guests,
and he's like, so welcome.
We have some interesting events coming on.
One of the girls is like, you're officiating that.
Yeah, we know Cheepo's, okay, we know, don't rub it in.
Except they wouldn't even speak that loudly because no one on this boat,
no one on this group talks loudly.
They they all kind of speak like this, especially the girls, the girls are like,
Ah, this is a really cool boat.
I really like it a lot.
It's really nice.
Cool.
Let me get married.
This is going to be really great.
Did you bring your wedding dress on here?
I hope they have a steamer.
Oh my God.
I hope they have a steamer for your wedding dress.
Yeah, they have a steamer. I have so because I had to fold my wedding dress like a ragami.
I thought you folded it. You folded it. Yeah.
You got a really big wedding dress even though I'm going to have to be spreading.
Yeah. Oh, dad. That's going to be some eyes. It's going to be so fun.
It's going to be like free. Just going to get wild.
I'm going to be wild right now. It's going to be crazy.
I'm going to be crazy. I'm going to be crazy.
My camera's screaming. I hope you have a card or bell. I do. I do the girl about and I have the bouquet. I'm gonna throw it.
I'm gonna be crazy. That's gonna be hot. I wish we weren't being so loud right now. I feel
so rude. I know I feel so bad. I feel bad. I'm skewing all the fish right now.
He's like our bachelor at party. He's like right now. Oh my god, I remember you're like, woo, I was like, you're crazy. Yeah,
remember when I was like, woo, hey, yeah, what, why do birds suddenly appear? I'm calling the manager.
So they get the tour, you know, and they're like, wow, great room. And he's like, Oh my God, I want painkillers. I like it.
Allegra.
It'll let go.
Sacrificer.
So, so Allegra does ask for a steamer
because she has brought, she's like,
I have this like giant wedding dress
that needs to be steamed
because I had to fold it like a origami salad
to get it onto the plane.
I'm like, Allegra.
Now, if this dress is an heirloom, then I understand.
I don't feel like it is an heirloom
because I don't understand why you'd have the heirloom,
but not the family part, you know?
But why if you're having a beach wedding,
are you gonna have a gigantic wedding dress?
Like, that doesn't seem to make sense to me, Allegra.
It did give me grandma wedding dress vibes,
that dress, like, yeah, it did give me grandma wedding dress vibes that dress like yeah, it did give me like
heirloom wedding dress vibes just how it looked and stuff.
But you know how when they show the old days like they say movie when you go to a Broadway show
and even skinny people complain about the chairs being too small and they're like well back then
people were smaller. They were literally shorter and everything about humans, but shorter back
then. And that's, I'm like, how could this be that? Well, because she's very like long
and gangly. I'm like, no way her grandma was that tall, unless they had a lot added. I
thought a lot about the wedding dress. I think she probably found it in a cool shop, like
outside of Boulder. She was like, on the way back from the camping trip, she was like,
wait, guys, can we just stop in this town town because I know they have a great vintage shop and then they go in all smelly from camping
And are like browsing through the shop with their backpacks on and they're like there, you know
Tea cash winners or she asked Bravo if
If a wedding dress was included in the package or something and they just like gave her whatever they had
so was included in the package or something and they just like gaffer whatever they had. Anyway, Ash is really excited to help with this endeavor about the steaming and everything and she's like, all I've wanted, all season is Gary's dick.
But also to prove to Daisy that I'm good at my job and I really can be good with guests
and I just want to finish this season strong.
Like, well, I think it's too late for that, but no, good luck.
Yeah, good luck, babe.
So Allegra is like, I'm so excited for tomorrow.
And then her fiance is like, wow, this is like basically your bachelor at.
It's like today.
And she's like, oh my god, it's like sickening.
It's like, it's like parsing garlic.
Sickening. It's like it's like parsley and garlic. Sickening. It is like wild.
It's like wilder than actually letting go of the rope on a rope swing. It's just totally mind blowing.
Longchitzry! And so they're putting the sails up and everyone's like
Wow, you're sailing. Is that sailing? Wow, the sailing thing's got this amazing. This is crazy. Wow, that's crazy right now. Oh my god, I think I'm actually, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, the new, that was a new twist, the Ziploc bag of diving off. And then you have, of course,
our trusty shelf doing its, doing its thing as in opening.
Yes.
Oh, so then Kelsey and Daisy are talking and Kelsey's like, yeah, Daisy, I can tell your
hungover because in the middle of the night, you do this. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH not to be confused for lunch. Fuck it. Not to be confused for when she eats Cheetos,
where she's more like,
oh, so good.
Orange to eat soup, that's too hot.
So, um,
so Marcos announces that to us that everyone's going to
eat gluten-free because he doesn't want to have any
cross-contamination
So congratulations everyone on your your yacht trip
That has your your your no gluten no bread like the welcome to your your your
Three days of luxury that you paid money for where you get to indulge in all the things
except red enjoy your
Carrots and the things, except red. Enjoy your carrot salads and ahi, because that's all you're getting, motherfuckers.
Yeah.
So he serves sashimi, brown rice, and pan-seared salmon with paprika oil.
And it just reminds me of campstonis fat camp, and then I had to go to as a kid.
All this is missing is a good help and of Jesus.
Okay.
So one of the, this is where the guys like, um,
I was told there's a rope swing. So I'm pretty pumped for the rope swing. I'm not going to just
jump in the water. I'm gonna jump in the water. Okay. See the difference guys. Yeah. Yeah.
I can't wait till he goes home and tells all of his friends on the ultimate frisbee team from Swathamore about this experience.
So then they start to...
It was about, you shouldn't just jump into the water, you should jump into the water.
That's pretty good.
So they do their ropes, their upswing, and like the first guy does it okay, the second guy
kind of falls on his back.
I mean, obviously an improvement over whatever her name was.
Janus, whatever, belly flopped a piece of it.
Oh, that poor girl.
Breathe in.
A bit of ears.
She.
It was like, it wasn't Bianca.
I don't know, but Leo, she's actually lucky because Gabe, the groom to be has now,
like, that's now performed the new ridiculous rope swing moment.
In that, he like, you hear him hesitating, like, okay, yeah, I got it.
He jumps off the boat and he sings and he goes, do I, do I, do I?
And it just swings back, he just pinballs across all the equipment.
Bless his heart, it's like every first day of rehearsal at Peter Pan, you know?
I can do this.
No!
It's not even a while.
They're just openly laughing at him, basically.
And the captain's like, you guys should go explore.
The ground, not the water, or heights, or anything made out of possible gluten.
I'm just gonna put you in a bubble, and we'll float you around.
Yeah, Glenn goes, yeah, you know, there's a cave over there
if you guys wanna go check it out, they're like,
okay, cool.
And then Glenn goes to Gary.
Hey, Gary, some people are thinking about going over
that cave.
I'm like, no, you were the one who told them
to go to the cave.
They weren't thinking about it.
They wanted to tell stories about the time they went road tripping to badlands.
Well, that's how you set yourself up for success, like put ideas into their heads. I mean,
I was like, just put them in that case, they can stop embarrassing us. I mean, that other
yacht saw that guy not able to jump off the rope swing. they're not going to race this later. So they do go swim in
this cavern or whatever and Marcos is reading the list, the preference sheet list and they're also
lactose free because, you know, of course they are. So this dinner, just because it's not annoying
enough, is an astrology sign dinner. So everybody has to dress like they're sign.
So then we're gonna get to hear everybody's opinion
about other signs, which is my favorite thing.
When people are like, what's your sign, Virgo?
Oh yeah, I could tell.
Pretty controlling, huh?
Like fuck off.
Do you know how many people am I sign anymore?
Cause I feel like every time you tell them,
they just come up with some reason to diss you.
Like, okay, well, I'm a Capricorn.
Oh, really?
So, yeah, really dividing their thumbnails.
So, yeah, that makes sense.
People do that all the time.
Oh, you're a satch.
So, you're stubborn, aren't you?
I'm like, fuck yourself.
Okay.
Also, by the way, everything fits for every side.
I'm sorry, I hate to break it to everyone,
but everything is like,
well, you know, as a Capricorn,
you know, it was everything all the time.
Oh, I guess that was the quickest, that was,
that was Marlow, but like as a Capricorn,
you're loving, but you have boundaries.
You're willing to take things,
you do everything for your friends, almost to a fault,
but you take time for yourself. I'm like, well, congratulations, welcome to every single, you do everything for your friends, almost to a fault. But you take time for yourself.
I'm like, well, congratulations.
Welcome to every single, every single horoscope is like that.
Scorpius, sting sometimes, but they also don't like Bingstown.
It's like, wow.
So I'm like other signs who love Bingstown.
So we're unlike other people from all different months of the year.
It's like, as, as a Leo, you are quick to judge,
but quick to apologize.
Wow, but no one else from any,
born any other part of the year, we'll do that.
I'm a Fergo.
You're terrified of dying.
Whoa, okay.
Look at every other sign.
It's like, can't wait to die.
I love death.
I'm a Sagittarius, your posture needs work. Whoa, why not?
Yeah, Fergo, you're not need you're not need yet. That happens like wait a second. I
Know I act like this, but I totally believe in this
100% I have a while I used to I don't have anymore. I need to go back and get it
But I love the birthday book and the relationship book.
But they're by the same person and they're these big giant encyclopedia type books and it takes your birthday and your year, you like find it on a chart.
And then it gives you like a five page reading and it was so gone. But anyway, fuck these people and they're not like this. Yeah, fuck them. And so, and so I was like,
like meanwhile, Daisy and Gary are like talking somewhere
by the crew mess.
And Daisy asks Gary if he wants to get married
or settle down or something.
And it basically says he wants to.
He's like,
but I don't like long distance, so unless it's a year later
then,
Daisy.
And so then in the other like,
the adjoining room,
Scarlet and Asher there and Scarlet's like, what are they
talking about? And Asher goes, hooking up, like that's not
they're not talking about that at all. You toxic. Yeah, she
really is. And Scarlet's like, you I would never hook up with
him. And Ashley's like, I was drunk. What do you want for me?
Maybe not to hook up with people when they pass you not to.
That would be a good start, actually.
So they're or to undermine people's employment slash relationships.
That would be great too.
All right.
So they're laughing.
And I love this.
Scarlett has already turned that far where she's like, ew, I would never.
Yeah.
So then Gary is now with Colin and,
I mean, Gary, Colin is now with Gary and Daisy
and Gary's like, well, I don't know about relationship,
but I don't want to be alone forever.
Which this is every guy Gary's age on Bravo.
This is what happens, you know,
they just start nearing that age and then suddenly
they're like, it's like the chef's storyline, you know? Like he just sees the younger ones and so he's like, but I'll do it now. So
Collins, like, well, sometimes they write under your nose, you know, there's a funny story
about how I met my girlfriend.
Right. I guess I look on the table, but if it's 100 min, there's maybe there's a nice
hot girl under the table. Nope. He's no one there. I just don't want to be alone.
But no one even cares about you anymore. Doesn't even ask you questions about who you are,
what you're doing in your life. I can't even imagine that sort of existence, right?
Yeah, I mean either. So, um, Ashley just crawls out from under the table like, God, he still didn't even notice me. So, this is so close. So, the guests are getting ready for dinner and it turns out that the little guy who couldn't
jump off the road swing is the groom, which I didn't figure out till now.
And I was like, God, good.
And now he's got like a little bow in arrow.
Yeah.
He had to take off time working at the Earth Science Lab
to put that on.
I forget which fight nut is that has the bow in the arrow.
It's not Tim, I guess.
Well, isn't that actually Sagittarius?
Is Sagittarius the hunter?
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Is that a Sag?
No wonder his posture was like that.
Yeah, the cup of the ball's in a stubborn. Yeah, they can't rope swing. They wonder a monster was like that. Yeah, the couple of walls in a stubborn.
Yeah, they can't rope swing.
They can't.
Actually, that actually tracks because I think I did tell
my rope swing story, which had a very similar trajectory
to games.
So what's going on, fellow sadge,
fellow bad rope swing and sadge?
So anyway.
So anyway.
There are stars, bro.
Blame the stars. So they all sit down for their straw. They're all, by the way, they're all sort of
being, you know, they're like a astrology. So we'll be kind of pseudo-burning man, ask,
you know, everyone's like a astrology ish or whatever, except for Laura, the primary,
who can't eat anything and she's dressed on black.
What funeral are you going?
Leave where it holds.
The white sister's in anyway.
This is not her fault she has celiac for crying out loud.
Of course, this is not her fault.
But for crying out loud, as long as, you know, like, you know,
it's not her fault that she has this,
but everyone is kind of having to kind of take an L
on the food for her.
And so she might as well just try to appear to have fun,
at least.
Right?
This isn't a lily from Cheers theme party, okay?
You're allowed to smile.
I know, like what Victorian haunted house
are you caretaking?
Oh, so Allegra is like, yeah, so I'm like blue. Oh, so what are you, Daisy? And Daisy says,
oh, Jim and all it is. Oh, two faced love that. Fuck you. Wow, I did not, I did not even
hear her say that. That's so, yeah, Allegra. So then, oh, what the, Allegra with your fucking
dime store, mothball dress, get out of here. So they sit down and then Marco served some sort of like tomato soup like vodka tomato soup and
Allegra's like oh, there's a kick in the soup. Wow. Oh my goodness. I'm
Overwhelmed by this kick in the soup. I've never had something so intense in my life. Wow
Oh my god, I'm like literally dead.
That is like so me, that's so my sign.
And one of the ladies is like so Marcos, what's your sign?
Oh, you're a cappacorn?
That means you're very hard working.
Oh really, you're telling the guy
who's working very hard currently
that he's very hard working
because of his shut up with this.
That implies that all the other signs are not hard working.
I just want to go out.
Thanks.
Thank God we didn't get a Leo.
God, thank God.
And he's like, okay.
And so now we have a spaghetti gluten free.
And we've got some zucchini.
That's gluten free too.
That's a, you know, very good.
And the lame, you know, dark cloud lady, Susan Linda. What does her name
like? I hate her. I wouldn't even write. Linda Susan Laura. That's a flim. I know. My
job right. Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. So, girl says, this is definitely because of my food allergies. I'm so sorry.
They're like, it's okay. We'll have plenty of time to eat bad food, not
on vacation, which is just as fun as eating bad food on vacation. That's
fine.
So one of the guys goes, guys, when I, when I eat gluten free, I feel
lighter. Yeah. It's like when people eat, like, just, you know, lettuce and a carrot, and they're kind of
feel so much lighter today.
Yeah, could you then eat a little box of little Debbie's, you fucking twit.
Hahaha.
You're in Bread Bitch.
Okay, so Daisy's like, then Daisy goes up to Colin and she's like, oh Colin, so you
know we had a
season one flashback over this episode and it got me to think and we haven't had
enough annoying guitar music so would you like to play the music while Allegra
walks down the aisle and I say aisle in quotation marks, air quotes because of
basically just a bunch of conks sell shells we put on the beach. So then Marcus
is fretting over his cake mold and everybody goes to bed and
Oleg Rysike, I have to write my Vals now honey, we have to write our Vals.
Babe, we can write our Vals.
We need to write our Vals.
Oh, my dress is hanging up to that for steamer.
I had to fold my Vals like origami.
Can they steam my Vals?
So, so then Marcos then is like, he has to make a three-tier cake,
which means he's got to make three cake rounds. And he's explaining to us that, you know,
the very difficult concept of not having enough to room in the oven, so having to make
things in batches, the batch concepts. It's a simple cut, but I don't know if you hear about
batch durian, which is that when you don't have enough room for things, you do them in batch concepts. It's a simple cut, but I don't know if you're about batch theory, which is that we don't have enough room for things. You do them in batches. So he's explaining that to us.
Yeah, because there has to be three levels of the cake. So the oven is small. So you put one
cake in. That's, you know, you have room left in the oven. So you think I can put another level.
So you put the other level, but then that leaves a third one that you can't put in. So you have to
wait for the other two to cook. And then you take them out and then you put the third one that you can't put in. So you have to wait for the other two to cook
and then you take them out
and then you put the third cake in there
and then you wait for that to cook
and then you have three cakes.
I'm like, wow.
Thanks.
I know.
Wow, slow, slow, slow season, huh?
So then,
that's very, yeah, the markers is like,
I'm going to treat this late, this cake like a woman
with a lot of love a lot of passion
I'm gonna explain lots of things to it. I'm not gonna hear their input
And then I'm gonna touch it here touch it there a little massage there and I'm gonna make it really moist and perfect
I'm like
Can we like a glory al凼 for this cake, please?
Can my please not eat your moist woman cake like it was a possible to skip this?
Um, I've never thought of colleague HR on behalf of a cake, but I think it has to be done.
Yeah, that was, uh, that was a lot.
And then I was reading comments last night while I was trying to go to bed and people are like, oh my god, Marcus is cake. I was getting so horny when he's talking about his
yeah, really, you guys come on. The guy fucks cakes.
So now, um, now is the morning and the cakes are done. So, Batch 3 worked out pretty well.
And that's the last thing.
It's like you're done with the cake.
They're like, oh.
Oh.
The cakes are terrified in the kitchen.
They're like traumatized cakes.
The cakes are, yeah.
They're like, please just leave me alone.
I just want to be a cake.
I know. I liked it better when I was just I was going to say flora, but I wasn't even that.
So, um, because it's gluten free, get it.
There's liars to that cake. Get it, get it.
So that joke had to be cooked in that joke.
Had to be cooked in betches or in the same place they were in that one.
It was a little bit of a half baked joke.
Guys, I'm so sorry about the cake.
Shut up.
Linda.
Sonnet.
Hey, Linda.
This is Laura.
Mark, find the cat.
Damn.
You're on vacation.
Marcus is talking about how you didn't go to bed until two in the
morning and then he got up at 640 in the morning because of the cake and
He's like this is like a race, you know, I have the breakfast and then I have the cake and then after lunch and then I have the cake again
And then I've dinner and then I've cake is like a race
Yeah, sounds like a Saturday. It sounds like sounds like cooking for your dad. So, so now they
all have breakfast. They have eggs, Benedict, which I'm intrigued by. I wonder what he did.
I like legitimately was intrigued what he did for the muffins. I guess did he make gluten-free
English muffins? I think for this, he decided to tell that lady to go fuck herself because
he did like half lobster and then he did zucchini muffins, he said herself because he did like half lobster. And then he did zucchini muffins,
he said, but he did like half of them lobster and half of them, I think salmon or something.
But then Laura couldn't eat it because she's like, this is the one day I wish I could.
This is like one day that I'm sad I can't eat this stuff. And they're like, well, what would you kill yourself for here?
And she's like, the lobster.
So she wasn't eating it.
So I'm not really sure why maybe a shellfish allergy.
Then yeah, she does because he says later, that's the thing.
It's everything.
So it's not just celiac.
It's like literally, she's just one of the suckers.
That's like every little thing.
I mean, it sucks.
If you have like,
if you have like allergies, like, I've met some people like that where
every single thing like that sucks.
So I do feel bad for her, but I just,
I just want her to be more fun if she's
got just if this is going to be what,
what everyone has to endure that I want.
Make up for it in other ways, right?
Make up for it. You know, like it sucks for you,
but it also sucks for everybody else.
So like, be the person who's like, Hey, anybody want to play trivia? I've got some questions memorized. Yeah.
I'm like, Hey, you guys like karaoke? I have a great app on my phone. Let's do it at breakfast.
Why do you burn suddenly up here? Like do something. But you know her trivia might be kind of annoying.
It's like, guys, I got the Elm tree addition of trivial pursuit
Okay, if you want to ask questions about Elm trees
This crew would though a leg road be like oh my god, that's so sad
I would love to hear about Elm trees
Do you know that dumb disease is actually a misnomer it really comes from the Philippines?
That's a lot by the way, you know that Greenland is really icy in Iceland?
Is really green?
It's like fucked up,
mappory.
That right now.
Do you know there's no species of arm that's native to Greenland?
Isn't that crazy?
Isn't that wild?
So let's see here.
So by the way, I like more and more of our people than more we talk about them.
I'm like, they I've them hot and more people than more we talk about them.
I'm like, they I've them hot.
I want to play yourself into.
I know them.
Yeah, I am.
You're like, God, these I bet these guests go home and play out in ring for six hours.
So I'm like, God, I want to hang out with the leg right now.
I love that I bet they love snacking cakes and playing feathers of cattain.
Those asses, those pathetic assholes.
Hey, Legra, you forget your sign already made your assage, but like, what's your
Alton Ring belt?
Are you, did you max out Dex?
By the way, I maxed out Dex and then I was reading an article, yes, it was on TikTok
and someone was like making fun of people who max out decks and all the things.
I was like, excuse me, I can't.
I mean, did I do the loser build?
Loser build?
Probably.
So Daisy is, they asked someone wants to go swimming.
So they go swimming, so that happens.
And that's six hours until the wedding,
and Marco is a decorant in the cake,
and he says how his mom was a baker,
so he just growing up my house my house always smelled sweet smell.
I'm like, well, sweet smell is not a thing actually,
but I appreciate the poetic backstory.
And...
Oh, cinnamon would like a word.
But that's not sweet, that's just cinnamon.
I feel like sweet is more of like a taste than a smell.
A smell, sweet is a smell.
Vanilla?
Vanilla's a smell.
That's a sweet. I feel like it smells sweet is a smell. Vanilla? Vanilla is a smell.
That's a sweet.
I feel like it's smell sweet.
It smells.
I feel like I will not accept it.
Citrus.
Orange.
Citrus is a smell.
Yes.
It smells it to see.
Not sweet.
Well, orange is like a different kind of sweet.
Well, sweet smells.
There's sweet, sweet smells.
Sweet smells.
That's right.
It's the thing in New York City.
I mean, come on. Bam. Come on. We need to take this off. I don't feel sweet smells sweet smells. That's right. Those thing in New York City. I mean, come on, man.
Come on.
We don't like to smell sweet.
I don't like smells or sweet.
I feel like only tastes to sweet.
I know this isn't.
You haven't been an overweight person walking down the streets of New York eating off
your thumb because you don't have enough money to get fracking your nets.
Okay.
The sweet net sweet is a smell like it's inside of you and it controls you.
Well, I don't think
sour is a smell either. How about that? Okay, I'm not going to argue at it. I love that
the one who actually has done too much cocaine in his life is like everything smells. Everything
has a smell. Thank you knows for just staying so strong. So the hubs, the hubs now that they have
the hubs that you've talked to in the past.
Yeah, it's like, you're not activating me.
These people freak out around that kind of thing.
Oh, no, they could not, they could not.
They would actually have caustic things to say.
They would say, I just don't understand how someone like that
just lives and like gets a buy in life.
Like who is, she's trash.
She's trash.
That's what I say about Lindsay behind her back.
If you like what's your sign?
Yeah, that's a trash sign.
That's a trash sign, makes sense.
So the couple has the meeting with the captain
about their free wedding,
that they're getting,
and their free service from him.
And so she's like,
we're gonna do our own vast short and sweet.
It's like you are not,
you're going on a fucking Pinterest and cropping shit down, okay? Please say you had me a hello
and the human brain, brain weighs eight pounds. Please. I can't wait to hear your original vows.
Oh, and then this is the part where they now have to like start sending stuff to the beach. So
Daisy is tells Ashley, okay, I need you to load the fireworks, load the
fairy lights, load, load, load, load, load, it's all.
Which by the way, I mean, did I hear that right?
Did she say load the fireworks?
Does Ashley going to be controlling fireworks?
It's very scary.
I don't know, but I just, this is not the show that people need to be screaming out loads
at the top of their lung like we know we watch
We watch I'm concerned of with the idea of fireworks with this group of people
That's so loud. Yeah, they just leave out. They just turned into pillars assault
So daisy's like well, I hope actually I can show her growth because planning a wedding is stressful.
And if she can do this, she can do anything. And so then, let's see.
Lots, lots, lots. That's my next note. So then they're talking about if they're nervous,
captain says, don't worry, they've got a perfect place, it's got a light house on it, which I like,
because that's where people go to wreck their boats a lot
or just like barely miss wrecking,
which I think is perfect for this wedding.
So they're getting everything ready for wedding setups
and this is really just nothing, nothing's happening.
It's like a lot of wedding, and then there's like
some chatter about like how everything's going smoothly,
and then the tenderer arrives at the beach,
and there's tons of people there just swimming around, et cetera.
And it's like, okay, what are we gonna do?
So they're gonna have to sit there and wait,
wait until all these people go away before they can set up,
although if it were me or for my dad, it'd be like,
okay, you guys all need to get out of the way.
We're doing a wedding right here.
Just push people out of the way.
I think that's what they did because they ended up getting them all out on time and then
everybody just watched from their boats because they saw it was a TV show, you know. Yeah.
But yeah, that's what you get when you have, you know, you take free resources meant for
the public for your own fucking wedding, okay? And this is coming from somebody who had
birthdays in the park
growing up. So I got, hey, make me friends.
Make new friends. So they set up and Ashley's like taking charge because she's like, the boys have no idea what they're doing. I have to step up right now. It's make it or break it. I'm like,
you're, you're tying like, gauze around a tent. I mean, make a break of time.
They should lucky to have me.
So then, um,
Marcos is stressing out with Daisy in the kitchen.
He's like, every time I want to make something, she don't eat it, you know,
like I've oysters, she can eat the shellfish.
I mean, I don't know what to do.
She's like, yeah, I can throw at the marco.
Listen, if Ashley, if Ashley can do a win, you can do anything.
So which is true.
And so now the guests are going to the beach and then Collins like sitting there on a rock
playing his guitar and then Gary's going back.
Very nicely.
I have to say, you know, Colin, I'm sure gets laid all the time.
He acts like the whole long just to go out,
go out with a girlfriend, you know?
But I'm sure he gets laid.
Colin, A, he's gorgeous.
He's okay.
He's sweet.
He's really sweet.
And he's the guy with the guitar at the campfire
who can actually play the guitar.
Yeah.
Wow.
There's something in the column.
I feel like Colin seems so capable.
Like he has that vibe, like he will just take care of you.
You know, like he will take care of any situation.
He's just like, he just seems like he's got it going on.
Okay, and I think Colin is totally hotter
and totally much hotter than Gary for crying out loud.
And they just don't even know how to face it.
Any attention to him.
I think it's because he's already entered the dad phase before he's the dad.
You know, like, you know, guys who, when they were younger, they're like, they're the
Gary.
They're like the life of the party.
They're like, having fun.
And then they find that special woman who tames them. And then a few years later, you see them. And you're like, now you're
in sweaters and growing things and saying, frick instead of fuck. And, you know, you can't
do anything without asking your wife, like we've all had these friends, right? But he's
already skipped to that stage. So, you know, I think they want the broken one. And then
they, a spouse, not just women,
but I think a spouse, like you want to find the broken one and then kind of fix them and mold
them into the sweater one.
Yeah.
So I think when they see a sweater one already, they're like, no, I need to mold, I need to
make my own sweater.
I want to choose a sweater.
I want the yarn.
I want the yarn.
I don't want the sweater.
Well, he's already the sweater everyone. So
people should get your toggles ready. Okay. So, um, so now the guests are there at the beach.
And then Gary goes and gets his, I wasn't against his legra, but gets a legra. And so, uh,
she's like, I went with a very subtle look. Do you see this? We were camping at Red Rocks,
and I found this on the way back home.
And I like that one of the guest goes,
hey, let's do a cheers.
Here's to being in a relationship for 10 years
and then getting married. Ha, ha, cracky up at that for some reason.
So then, so yeah, so then they do the Colin strumming and
a legress like crying at her wedding.
And the captain's like, we've come here today.
Before the captain, I have to say, I thought one thing that was like very funny to me was that,
I mean, there's like six people at this wedding, right?
Excluding the crew and they did a procession.
And I don't know, I got that.
Like, it just was funny to me because it was like,
it was like barely an aisle.
It was just again, like seashells and some like random,
like discarded cans that they made an aisle out of.
And then it was like, it was almost like square dancing.
It was like two by two.
They like walk and be loving another two.
And I'm like, I know people like doing a procession,
but you guys can just walk up.
Like this was, this just felt so late.
Good day.
I think that's how you have to do it at weddings, you know?
All they needed a flower girl.
I mean, I feel like they needed Ashley just like leading it off just throwing condoms all over the beach.
I guess it just felt weird to me because they walked the procession was like three, three
bounds. Like they had to three steps to get to the altar and it was also the entire party. So,
it just felt so oddly small for the pageantry, you know? Well, you know, what you get with free ass wedding, okay?
I guess it's just me. I guess it's just me. I thought it was very strange looking
Yeah, you know, it's like I just was having birthday party memories of going up to random kids
I didn't know I'm saying hey, I like your toy. It's my birthday and then taking it and pushing them down the dirt
So that's where I was I guess why it was strange for me is because they were all standing in one place
And then they had to all move together like three paces back and then one like at two by two
They all walk back to where they were originally standing so it's just like this weird
Thing that they did we're a bit of choreography
People choreography
So then let's see. Okay, so the captain is like, okay.
So we're, hold on, we've come here today
to celebrate coming together of two lives.
I mean, I hope you come together, but hey,
you can only come when you come.
What are you trained seals?
Now the seals come at the same time.
I'm sorry, I'm very nervous.
I've never done this before.
Girl, you have a rash. You have a rash on your face time. I'm sorry. I'm very nervous. I've never done this before. Oh, yeah.
A rash.
You have a rash on your face.
Go on. You have a rash hurry up.
Linda's allergic to seal come joy.
Linda says it's a loyalty. I need an umbrella. The sun going to hurt your skin.
I need it's an umbrella. The sun's gonna hurt your skin.
So then they get to their vows and Gabe is like,
I hope that I always get to hold you up.
I'm like, well, she's very frail.
So I have a feeling that you will.
You might have to.
I think you will.
Gabe is the best.
Just get one of those dollies.
And then Kelsey just starts crying.
She's like, I'm a wedding cryer.
She's like, wipe, search your hair with her hair.
And then, Alexa's like I'm a wedding cry. She's like wipe certain years with her hair and then
Alexa's like, Gabe
You with the smartest person I know
the most awful the kindest and the most fearless except for when you go on a ripswing and you make me feel like the most beautiful person in the world every single day
And I know it's I know I'm a lot. I know this energy is boundless and hard to contain but Gabe
It's always been you and I always will be you on the rope swing because you don't let go. I love you. I love you
What is this the end of a Scooby-Doo?
It's always been you and it's always gonna be you
you. And they got away with it too. So one for those darn kids. So then it cuts today's in the back like what the fuck with all these birds around. And they've
made a plan because the girls are like, my God, should we like let somebody catch
the bouquet because like it's just sad when the bouquet goes to somebody who like doesn't need it.
So like we should like give it to somebody.
Who should we get?
Who should we like throw it to?
I'm so like, everybody goes, Daisy.
It's so rude.
I thought it was just cracking up because now it comes time to throw the bouquet.
And Daisy's like, I've never even tried to get the bouquet before
And she just like walks it over. She's like, you're daisy
She's just knocking people over so she picks up a handful of sand throws it all the other bruh all the other women
She's like, I've got it!
And then it cuts to, it's gonna be okay. I've never done this before. I swear I got out of my way, bitches.
And then I cut to Gary.
He goes, I'm not marrying you, Daisy.
And then he runs into the water.
I'm like, Gary, you're still working.
Why did you just plunge yourself into the water
at this person's wedding?
What are you doing?
Well, that was below Dick's sailing yacht.
Congratulations.
I can't wait to see.
Would you have at your reception dinner?
Would you like fish?
No, can't have that.
Would you like chicken?
No, can't have that.
Would you like steak?
No.
Welcome to your thumbnail dinner.
That's all you're getting today.
You're gluten free, dairy free,
celiac thumbnail dinner.
They didn't even bother putting in a cliffhanger.
They just knew there was nothing left.
There's nothing left in the tank for the season.
They're just like, that's it.
It was a wedding and we don't have it.
We have nothing else to show.
So coming up, I'm going to be boring people eating dinner
after they their wedding.
So, yeah, that was, but that was the episode.
It was not the most exciting, but that's what you get when they stretch out a season, but
still I'm loving the season overall.
And next week is the final episode.
So there we go.
You guys, thanks so much for being here.
We'll be back later this week with Dubai and Beverly Hills, so lots of fun stuff.
And of course, our bonus episode.
Yep, I'll be to Tim and thanks for listening, we'll catch you in the next one.
Bye!
Bye!
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