Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Sailing: 'Til Dietary Restrictions Do You Part

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

There's a wedding and Celiac disease on this week's Below Deck Sailing Yacht, and if that doesn't get you excited, we don't know what will.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and ...California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is
Starting point is 00:00:29 What happens Crab Kids, what happens when this all happens? You want crap? Oh, when you want me to crap? Kids, what happens when this all happens? Hello, and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Brava that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today for the pen-ultimate episode recap of below Dexalingott. Mr. Ronny Caram, how are you?
Starting point is 00:01:08 Well, hello, Beninlite. Beninlite, I like that. It's like a smaller version. Smaller version of the normal me. One can only dream. How are you? That's a little tiny version of Ben. How are you doing today? Good, I'm biting my stupid thumbnail. I've got like an elephant thumbnail. I don't know why it's so big and hard to bite, but like is it really worth losing a tooth on a thumbnail? Like calm down. I don't even know.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Like do I have anxiety? What does that mean? I can't stop thinking about it. I'm like, ah, my thumbnail. I'm going back to my thumbnail. I'm working on it. Like it's a project. But hell, I'm getting old over here, okay?
Starting point is 00:01:46 I'm over it. You got a rapid and like, I guess, I was going to say spinach, but I think that actually now that we're adults, that's actually lovely. So like, rapid and something else. Rapid and bacon, rapid. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Yeah, great. Yeah, see? Now you don't want to buy it. Yeah, it's $7. I'm like, man, I'm good, but I'm like, man, I'm dying now. Yeah, thanks for the advice. So, as I have for everybody, running hate, robick, and on accident, because the, the, the, the nail was just too exciting. His elephant thumbnail wouldn't, wouldn't stop tingling his brain. Get it in there.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Well, first of all, I'll talk about tingling on the brain. Thanks to everyone who came out to take a seat last night. It was really fun. A lot of good things, a lot of silly things happening in the world of bravo that we discussed. Chiefly, Joe Gorkga losing his mind on again about losing his mind as I am right now towards one of his tenants. And so if you if you missed it, go to Spotify and you can find a you can find that on demand, not Joe Gorega, but take a seat. And then, um, can Joe Gorega be far behind now? I mean, that guy is a stone.
Starting point is 00:03:02 That guy is one breakdown away from only fans. Now, I support that. I think we have all support Joe Geron fans. Yeah, I think Joe Gorgas is going to just be getting himself in so much trouble that finally is going to be all dick all the time. And I'm in. I am in. Well, currently he's on only rent as in like, where's my rent money? Where's my rent money? There he is. There's rent. I'm gonna be on only thumbnails.
Starting point is 00:03:34 We're gonna have to wear those in the world who get off on watching people being obsessed with biting their thumbnail for no reason at all. Maybe it's the same truck driver and convict who also follow Larza Pippen. Hey, they're just friends. So we're in a Lini Tune mood today. So that's good because guess what's not in a Lini Tune mood. Bulletin sailing. Hey, clean something.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Why don't you? Hey, I got my deal. So have a show about cleaning a toy lamps. Okay, who came with this? This is the, this is the episode where some perfectly pleasant if wayfished people come on board and have a generally nice wedding. And Mark goes worries about baking a cake. That's what today's episode is. This is called cheat people on a boat. Okay, and we've seen it before.
Starting point is 00:04:29 We'll see it again, but these people are tricky fuckers. Okay, this cup. Oh, go on. I would like to hear about this. You know a wedding cost nine million dollars, right? Everybody who's ever been married, like on paper, it's like two million dollars, but then when you really talk to them, and they're having their mental breakdown and figuring out how they can declare bankruptcy
Starting point is 00:04:48 because of their wedding, like even the small weddings that take place in a park are $9 million. Everybody knows it, it costs a lot of money to throw a wedding. So these people get a discounted cruise or whatever because you get discounted for going on this show. So they get that discounted. They probably made everybody pay for themselves. So like we'll space it. So they got a, a leg were didn't pay for shit. I'm telling you that right now. Her name is Allegra. So then they got a discount for everything. Then they made the captain do the fucking vows and the chef do the food.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Boom, you've got the cheapest wedding known to man. Not only that, they're pretending to be these nice people, but they put everybody around them through hell with their is not only celiac because I get it. Like people have disease diseases and all of that stuff. Listen to me, I eat raw bacon on my thumbnail. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But not only that, but they make everybody crazy with their no one. Ian's no garlic, no this, no that typical California a holes pretending to be nice and really screw in everybody around them. Yeah, my take on them, they were giving me like Swarthmore vibes. I was like, I feel like this group of people met at a small liberal arts college and they get together once a year, and they probably go
Starting point is 00:06:05 on a, they go backpack somewhere, they probably go camping, they probably tell stories that they like meet, and they go camping on the beach north of San Francisco, and then they take pictures in front of the waterfall that's there, because I have done that hike, but I hated every moment of it. And, uh, but I you. But I'm like, I'm glad I've done that hike because now I have a frame of reference for what these people do for fun. That was something that I did because my friends were all doing it, so I went along with it,
Starting point is 00:06:34 but I hated it. But I know they love it. These people love that hike. And they would camp out at that waterfall. And then they do, then they like, they go to Colorado and they camp some more. And then they share stories. They made someone maybe bring the like, they go to Colorado and they camp some more. And then they share stories.
Starting point is 00:06:46 They made someone maybe bring the guitar and they sing songs. And then they go, oh my god, they campfire guitar person. Like why do our standards suddenly drop just because we're around a campfire? It's like, oh, you suddenly don't need to know how to play a guitar to have one in front of the campfire. Anywhere else they'd be boot off the stage. But in front of a fucking campfire, it's fine because because we don't have a TV for like two hours for lives. And we're like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:07:10 Music is good. I don't care. I don't care if it doesn't even make any sense. And it makes my head hurt. It's something that best music in the world. And then after they're done camping, when they're not camping, they also go to like, a David Gray concert or like they go to a lecture.
Starting point is 00:07:32 I mean, these things are actually like nice things to do, but the way they do them, I don't like. Yeah, I'm way they do. They all put together. You know, I'll put together the David Gray, the theoretical lecture that then they tell her, oh, actually, it's, it's not that they go to a lecture, so that one of them has been to a lecture. And then it did, I was like,
Starting point is 00:07:48 well, I actually went to this very interesting lecture. Oh, yeah, it's like, you've never, and it's all, it wasn't it? I'm not sure. It wouldn't be about rabbits. It would be about post-modern movements in architecture or something. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I'm actually like, wait, I wanna hang out with these people now. I don't know. I'm actually like, wait, I wanna hang out with these people now. I wanna seek their approval. A rabbit lecture, I know we're suddenly both camping with guitars. Really? Can you play that David Gray song again?
Starting point is 00:08:17 I say this is if I didn't have a David Gray album in 2000. So too, I think how much sexual people have been wandering around the campground with guitars. As can us, if we have talked to the couple that's been to a rabbit lecture. Anybody? Keep them out for those two weirdos. One of them's got a bloody thumbnail with some sort of rob meat around it. At dinner parties, they play the carpenters, but like in a hipster way, like they just discovered them.
Starting point is 00:08:43 They're like, you know, the carpenters are great. I love when people play the carpenters and go, oh my god, there's such a sadness there. Yeah, so haunting It's like their bombshell inside We talked about that at the rabbit lecture. Okay Let's really more about birds and how they suddenly appear. No, that's crazy. That is that is the sign you're crazy. I'm worried about I'm crazy because of my thumbnail obsession all the sudden, but that's crazy. Bird suddenly appear every time you are near you've gone fucking crazy Cinderella.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Okay, that's what's happened to you. Okay, Karen, okay, like the birds with their all along. They didn't just appear you just looked up Carried that's why that's where that name comes from that that slur Karen that's there that evil slur The original Characters Carpenter It goes from Karen complaining to the manager about bird suddenly appear She's actually Karen and complaining to the manager about Bird suddenly appeared. That is actually a Karen.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Rand, why do birds suddenly appear every time you're near? She's like, I'm in a store. Excuse me. Can I get any waiter? Because a bird suddenly appear every time you're here. And I'm coming. And let me tell you something. We've only just begun, OK?
Starting point is 00:10:09 So that was below deck, thank you guys. So that was the end. Listen, so days that's just the mood you show up in. Thank God, thank God, because we need that mood today for this episode, for this group of the nine, but quiet potential scammers who listened to Karen Carpenter because it's cool and go to lectures and camp and listen to David Gray too. And I want a follow up to see if they ended up suing the boat because the stupid husband
Starting point is 00:10:41 got on the rope swing and then couldn't swing and the candidate like crashing into the boat. Because you know, like rope was like they never should have allowed you to do that. I'm a leg. Well, I just don't believe you can be named after an allergy medicine and not be an asshole. Well, you know, the worst part about it is that none of them probably even thought to make a Miley Cyrus reference, you know, like a wrecking ball. They're like, oh, is that a song? You know, they did that. Oh, I don't. I'm not really into Miley Cyrus. They know one of them said, you know, one of them is like,
Starting point is 00:11:08 I actually don't own a TV. You know, you know, you know, it was the one, you know, it's a girl who can't eat onions and garlic. Yeah, I'm calling you if that person's in or whatever. Dress like a first go into a funeral. Yeah. Yeah, it sees it sickly sick. Or I know some's who it is. Okay, so, first of all, first wedding episode, 316. So we, it is 5.50 pm, which is odd time for BulloDec, because it's usually 5.51 or 5.52.
Starting point is 00:11:36 So I already know this episode's in trouble, because they start timing things on even numbers. Yeah, it's true. It should, it should always be on a very strange minute. And it's on a strange, ish minute, but not as strange as it could be. So it's 18 hours until charter. And you guys are like, oh, we ready for the last charter of the season guys?
Starting point is 00:11:59 Can you believe it's coming to an end? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Gary's like, yeah, the chick doesn't eat anything. Now, score it. And they're all sitting at the table together. Right. I think you mentioned that. It's a continuation of last time. So we'll through as it dinner together. And I'm just a beautiful one.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Everyone's having fun. And then Gary who's sitting right in the center of the table acts like he's talking low to talk to Scarlet, but he's always talking in stage whisper, you know? Yeah. He's like scarlet for the first time we have together. Let's make the most of it. Cheers. We're gonna spend the night together right now. He's only talking like he's in Howard's End or something for the time that we have together to make the midst of it. It's like you were not going on some partying, you're not going across the Atlantic to America while she stays in England, which I don't know if that happens in Howard's End, but I'm
Starting point is 00:12:56 saying of that genre that tends to happen, okay? And he's acting like that. I'm like, what do you mean for the time we have together let's make the most, you just don't have anything, you guys just fellow employees, okay? So he's basically trying to like lock this down and he's like want to hang out and she's like Yeah, with everybody. He's like, oh, are you really worried about that? You really worried about that? She's like, yeah, I want to be good with everybody and it's like, but you all good with everybody What about being good to me every time I show you affection? You're like, no, stop it. Like because every time she gets in trouble with her boss,
Starting point is 00:13:29 Gary, you guys are employees together, which he doesn't owe you any sort of, you know, like a special attention because you give her affection? No. Yeah, what are you Ashley? Back off. Yeah. Back off.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Stop Ashley and Scarlett, okay, back officer. And so he said, but I thought you like me. And she said, well, I did, but it's just more trouble than it's worth, okay? It's like exercise. And Kerry's like, well, then I guess she is for myself. Well, you guys know this little lit wedding or beach. There's a wedding on the beach. And Ashley's with her mouth full. She's like, I'm gonna like,
Starting point is 00:14:10 I'm gonna have a show or school. I'm gonna have a few more. Ashley's been eating her feelings for like several episodes now ever since Scarlett came on board. And meanwhile, how they talk about about how they always talk about like, oh my god, it's so fancy. This is a super yacht. This is not how we do things on a super yacht. You've got Ashley spitting out food and what's her buds, Kelsey, right next to her,
Starting point is 00:14:36 flossing her fucking mouth with her pair. I know. Her dinner, Elf. Yeah. Yeah. So that does crack me up every time I see it though. I rewind it to see if there's like any chunks on the end, you know, because who comes out with a clean Clean floss. If you come out with a clean floss, you're not eating right, okay?
Starting point is 00:14:56 You can meet a chunky floss. If you come out with a clean floss, you probably wouldn't throw it away. And it's disposable for a reason. So you should be throwing out her hair. So, Collins, like, say, Marcus, you got a gluten free person, we got a gluten free person you got a cook for. She's like, yeah, but a really heavy one. She's celiac, can't have pasta or potatoes or rice. And Collins, like, very concerned,
Starting point is 00:15:22 because Marcus is like lost at sea, but Collins is like, very concerned, because Marcus is, like, lost it, lost it, so, but Collins, like, very concerned. He's like, I just want to be there for Marcus, the way that no one's really been there for me, but I can just imagine how it would feel like. Kelsi Kee is doing this thing with the conversations around her, gonna, I'm, she's doing that thing in the housewives,
Starting point is 00:15:43 always doing the confessional with her, like, shade, shade, shade. I just gave her shade. And they put the straw in the mouth and like do a really big stage sift on their straw. But Kelsey's not really reacting to anything. She just keeps doing the shade straw. She's like, ooh, shade. He's someone's got celiac guys. More like shadeiac. Am I right? That deserved it. That deserved to shade. Slurp.
Starting point is 00:16:12 Yeah, Shade Slurp. So Collins, like listen, Marcus, we here for you and you're going to learn how to delegate and part of delegating is asking people for help. So for instance, do you want to try it on me? But I just can't do it because it's celiac disease and that's a very very hard All right, well, we'll we'll workshop that delegate in process them. I just want anyone to ask me something Even if it is for me to help out that's all It's the last charter you want to leave on a high note. I get it mean. I
Starting point is 00:16:54 You want to leave on a high note? I get it, man. I understand. I was like, okay, hugs calling. So they invite Marco at and he's at Marcos at and he's like, no, I have cake to make a CD, cake to make. So they go back to the boat and Gary and Scarlett, Gary's up scarlets, who I again basically, so she's sitting with him while he smokes and she's like are you done you want to go up now? He's like no, I won't say with you. I Want to kiss you want to shake She's like stop it slimer And meanwhile Barnaby and Ashley are being silly, it's like, let's be naughty of the hill. Ashley, what do you think? Whoa.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Just like, he's just giving up on trying to get any sort of ass. She's doing some weird platonic silliness with him. And then they turn into the- She's just wrapping him over and over again, basically, and laughing. So then Marcos is telling us how cooking for Celiax takes more effort. And he's like, and I won't mess up this last charter. And Gary's like, come on, stop working already.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Come on down. And he's like, I got Celiax. Yeah, Gary's a terrible influence. This guy has like one more charter. He's dressed out here. And by the way, all of all they've been saying to him is like, man, you got you can't like burn the candle at both ends. So now here's Marco is trying to get ahead of his work and like do some of it. So that way the next
Starting point is 00:18:12 day he's not killed. And now they're trying to make him not do it. That's so Gary. But Gary's really just there. He doesn't care what Marcus does. He just wants to talk about, you know, his dick is usual. So he's like, come on, I tried kissing Scarlett and she pulled away from me. Oh, here, she wants to have a good relationship with everyone. Well, too late, bro. Well, well, well, well. It's like what a terrible thing to aspire for,
Starting point is 00:18:36 having a good relationship with your fellow co-workers. You know what the people they work for. Yeah. So there's like shots going on and Marcos is preparing stuff and then Gary is like, you know, first of all, it's me a little bit, Scott, what do I have to hide my affection for you? And she's like, Gary, stop. He's like, but do you understand where I'm coming from? She's like, no, I don't. He's like, oh, he starts waving his fingers like, no, no, no, no, no, no, He's like, oh, he starts waving his fingers like, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:19:08 You know, I went in for a kiss from you and you pulled away from me. I'm like, hello, guys, like, hello, I went in for a kiss and I'm nothing like. And then Daisy wanders in and say, well, the glasses. Then Gary, he's literally just been a friend-zoned for the third time in five minutes on this episode. Tells us, What, I'm not one lazy to be angry with Scarlet, so I'm just gonna let it be. What a salt-kitty would have let it go. You didn't let it go. You got dropped, dude. Yeah. Finally, if I'm acting like this is your decision.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Yeah, yeah, finally. If I'm acting like this is your decision multiple times So now there's like shots and shots and Glenn's getting into bed and there's more shots And there's more shots and then Gary's shooting in the bathroom and then Glenn on the phone and then Gary being like Glenn's like, oh, what are you looking for you want a big big wide cracker? That sort of looks like MOTSA? I got a ton of those. No, I just need some toilet paper. It's possible. Yeah. Rich food, captain.
Starting point is 00:20:12 All right. Ah! Well, that's something was wrong, but I am listening to a documentary podcast about seals mating with kid whales. So, well, wasn't really really sure that was just in my years or if it was real. Oh rich. So yeah, so we're watching Gary poop. Yeah, everybody. And then not only were watching him poop, we then are also watching Glenn
Starting point is 00:20:43 lying in his bed with Eminem and Eminem Carton on his chest watching something. I mean, my fucking hero this guy. You need someone in life he can look up to, and that's him. That's my guy. Commissions, here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to,
Starting point is 00:21:50 I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then upstairs, you're playing a slapping game that they learned from the last charter where you take a shot and then you slap each other. And so Daisy gets to slap Gary and when she does, she's to shot in her face. And he's like, oh, go daisy. A lot of extra. Yeah, it was like both like Gary, but also, but also like vodka blah blah, splashing on days. It was like double blah. And it was I kind of felt bad for days.
Starting point is 00:22:28 You'd have all of Gary's like backwash vodka backwash on her face. I mean, well, but you can also see that there's some yeah, at least there's there's some, you know, purifying vodka this time to help out because normally she's just unprotected. Yeah, exactly. And then it somehow disegways into them doing some weird worm relay race, and Ashley was trying to do the worm on the deck, but she doesn't really get her traction going. She's sort of as like writhing, just generally writhing
Starting point is 00:22:58 on the on the teak. I'm just imagining lots of scrapes. Yeah. And then they all do the worm. They all start doing the worm together. And Dave's is like, I know it's a skew. No, I shouldn't be gone cry. So they're supposed to go to bed, but they don't really.
Starting point is 00:23:16 And then we get a flush back to Tom, you know, going to crazy on a school night and barfing that like a well barfing where it's like barf barf and it's really gross and also really fun at the same time oh Tom we have a memory memories so anyways and Marcus is like he's trying to go to sleep, but now he's like having too much fun. And so he's like, he's talking about how he doesn't really have any time. He was gonna go to sleep at midnight and wake up at 3,
Starting point is 00:23:52 but then they're trying to keep him up. And then the guys just start rough housing. And Marcos is like, you know, I've never had this kind of fun in my life. And then the three of them just start like, kind of slapping each other and they're like slapping and pushing each other. And just like cracking up and they just keep slapping. And it was so I was like, what is wrong with you guys?
Starting point is 00:24:12 And yet at the same time, I was also just like cracking up because they looked like they were having so much fun. It was so cute actually. Yeah, they were slapping and then they end up all kind of like in bed together. And the bottom part just kind of like in bed together. The bottom. It was actually really enduring. I was like rolling my eyes, but also kind of like I want to be friends with them.
Starting point is 00:24:35 So then at 7 30 a.m. My days, he's like, all I can smell is to call. Yeah. And now it's 8 a.m. and there's only four hours until the next charter and Marcos is still asleep. And everyone's cleaning and everyone's slow, but they're cleaning and they're cleaning slow. And now there's only three hours until the charter and Marcos is still asleep.
Starting point is 00:24:55 And even Colin is asleep, which is surprising because Colin is the most responsible person there. Yeah. And everybody's way hungover, but they're trying to get some energy and Kelsey's squealing our last group clean Bay, yes. And the captain's like, where the fuck are these guys? Knock knock. Are you guys getting up? We've got charter in three hours. I'm not there. Dead. Dude, if you're hungover, that's self-inflicted. I don't give a shit. So, now it's two hours until the guests,
Starting point is 00:25:29 Scarlet can't find her walkie talkie, but she finds it, and then provisions arrive, and they're all miserable, because that's to carry heavy things. I personally hate watching them load up provisions, because there's nothing like an endless dream of heavy boxes that you have to carry places. We've all been in those weird situations where you're like,
Starting point is 00:25:50 it's at work. And for some reason, you have to carry a lot of boxes somewhere. It's like the worst. It's so annoying. I can't be. It all comes back to camping in the end in this episode. Because my friend used to love to make us.
Starting point is 00:26:01 She's one of those outdoor people. So she's like, oh my god, guys, that's crap. And she would always plan where we're going, you know, because she knew. But then it was endless boxes and tents. And she would bring everything, you know, and it took longer to get to the damn place that we're supposed to put up the tent. It's just good to hotel. The hotel's only. Yeah, the endless stream of boxes makes me crazy to you. So Gary and Captain are talking and it's another time where they're not going to be likely to sell except for a little tiny window and the captain is writing his speech, but weddings give him a rash and Collins, like, have you married anyone before? And he's like, no, I was
Starting point is 00:26:41 supposed to in our first charter, but thankfully they had a big bus stop. I didn't have to do it. And then we see a memory of that charter. That was really good. We're the guy we're getting married. Yeah, fuck you. Now fuck you bitch. Chasing each other around the boat and crying. Yeah, that was like in the pre-daisyie era, which is like, we tried not to think about it, but it's like, we saw like, you saw like a, like, pageant and Sierra in the background, who have since broken up, thankfully. So then, now the guests are like ready to get picked up and Scarlet knocks over a glass. This is where we're at. And Marcos is like,
Starting point is 00:27:27 I'm Marko's still doesn't know what he's gonna make. He's like, I'm blank. I'm so blank. This charter is going to be a complete nightmare. I am so blank right now. And this is where he tells us that they're not only celiac, they can't have onion, garlic, parsley. I mean, this just goes beyond.
Starting point is 00:27:45 This is when you need to just start carrying around like little Capri sun packs with your food in it. Yeah. And leave everybody else the hell alone because this is crazy. This is like one person out of what eight people or whatever that has. Laura. Yeah, fucking Laura. So then the guests are on their way and Kelsey is telling Barnaby that he looks like
Starting point is 00:28:08 Albert Einstein, and the captain welcomes the guests, and he's like, so welcome. We have some interesting events coming on. One of the girls is like, you're officiating that. Yeah, we know Cheepo's, okay, we know, don't rub it in. Except they wouldn't even speak that loudly because no one on this boat, no one on this group talks loudly. They they all kind of speak like this, especially the girls, the girls are like,
Starting point is 00:28:32 Ah, this is a really cool boat. I really like it a lot. It's really nice. Cool. Let me get married. This is going to be really great. Did you bring your wedding dress on here? I hope they have a steamer.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Oh my God. I hope they have a steamer for your wedding dress. Yeah, they have a steamer. I have so because I had to fold my wedding dress like a ragami. I thought you folded it. You folded it. Yeah. You got a really big wedding dress even though I'm going to have to be spreading. Yeah. Oh, dad. That's going to be some eyes. It's going to be so fun. It's going to be like free. Just going to get wild. I'm going to be wild right now. It's going to be crazy.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I'm going to be crazy. I'm going to be crazy. My camera's screaming. I hope you have a card or bell. I do. I do the girl about and I have the bouquet. I'm gonna throw it. I'm gonna be crazy. That's gonna be hot. I wish we weren't being so loud right now. I feel so rude. I know I feel so bad. I feel bad. I'm skewing all the fish right now. He's like our bachelor at party. He's like right now. Oh my god, I remember you're like, woo, I was like, you're crazy. Yeah, remember when I was like, woo, hey, yeah, what, why do birds suddenly appear? I'm calling the manager. So they get the tour, you know, and they're like, wow, great room. And he's like, Oh my God, I want painkillers. I like it. Allegra.
Starting point is 00:29:46 It'll let go. Sacrificer. So, so Allegra does ask for a steamer because she has brought, she's like, I have this like giant wedding dress that needs to be steamed because I had to fold it like a origami salad to get it onto the plane.
Starting point is 00:30:00 I'm like, Allegra. Now, if this dress is an heirloom, then I understand. I don't feel like it is an heirloom because I don't understand why you'd have the heirloom, but not the family part, you know? But why if you're having a beach wedding, are you gonna have a gigantic wedding dress? Like, that doesn't seem to make sense to me, Allegra.
Starting point is 00:30:20 It did give me grandma wedding dress vibes, that dress, like, yeah, it did give me grandma wedding dress vibes that dress like yeah, it did give me like heirloom wedding dress vibes just how it looked and stuff. But you know how when they show the old days like they say movie when you go to a Broadway show and even skinny people complain about the chairs being too small and they're like well back then people were smaller. They were literally shorter and everything about humans, but shorter back then. And that's, I'm like, how could this be that? Well, because she's very like long and gangly. I'm like, no way her grandma was that tall, unless they had a lot added. I
Starting point is 00:30:55 thought a lot about the wedding dress. I think she probably found it in a cool shop, like outside of Boulder. She was like, on the way back from the camping trip, she was like, wait, guys, can we just stop in this town town because I know they have a great vintage shop and then they go in all smelly from camping And are like browsing through the shop with their backpacks on and they're like there, you know Tea cash winners or she asked Bravo if If a wedding dress was included in the package or something and they just like gave her whatever they had so was included in the package or something and they just like gaffer whatever they had. Anyway, Ash is really excited to help with this endeavor about the steaming and everything and she's like, all I've wanted, all season is Gary's dick. But also to prove to Daisy that I'm good at my job and I really can be good with guests
Starting point is 00:31:39 and I just want to finish this season strong. Like, well, I think it's too late for that, but no, good luck. Yeah, good luck, babe. So Allegra is like, I'm so excited for tomorrow. And then her fiance is like, wow, this is like basically your bachelor at. It's like today. And she's like, oh my god, it's like sickening. It's like, it's like parsing garlic.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Sickening. It's like it's like parsley and garlic. Sickening. It is like wild. It's like wilder than actually letting go of the rope on a rope swing. It's just totally mind blowing. Longchitzry! And so they're putting the sails up and everyone's like Wow, you're sailing. Is that sailing? Wow, the sailing thing's got this amazing. This is crazy. Wow, that's crazy right now. Oh my god, I think I'm actually, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:32:29 I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:32:37 I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, the new, that was a new twist, the Ziploc bag of diving off. And then you have, of course,
Starting point is 00:32:45 our trusty shelf doing its, doing its thing as in opening. Yes. Oh, so then Kelsey and Daisy are talking and Kelsey's like, yeah, Daisy, I can tell your hungover because in the middle of the night, you do this. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH not to be confused for lunch. Fuck it. Not to be confused for when she eats Cheetos, where she's more like, oh, so good. Orange to eat soup, that's too hot. So, um,
Starting point is 00:33:40 so Marcos announces that to us that everyone's going to eat gluten-free because he doesn't want to have any cross-contamination So congratulations everyone on your your yacht trip That has your your your no gluten no bread like the welcome to your your your Three days of luxury that you paid money for where you get to indulge in all the things except red enjoy your Carrots and the things, except red. Enjoy your carrot salads and ahi, because that's all you're getting, motherfuckers.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Yeah. So he serves sashimi, brown rice, and pan-seared salmon with paprika oil. And it just reminds me of campstonis fat camp, and then I had to go to as a kid. All this is missing is a good help and of Jesus. Okay. So one of the, this is where the guys like, um, I was told there's a rope swing. So I'm pretty pumped for the rope swing. I'm not going to just jump in the water. I'm gonna jump in the water. Okay. See the difference guys. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:38 I can't wait till he goes home and tells all of his friends on the ultimate frisbee team from Swathamore about this experience. So then they start to... It was about, you shouldn't just jump into the water, you should jump into the water. That's pretty good. So they do their ropes, their upswing, and like the first guy does it okay, the second guy kind of falls on his back. I mean, obviously an improvement over whatever her name was. Janus, whatever, belly flopped a piece of it.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Oh, that poor girl. Breathe in. A bit of ears. She. It was like, it wasn't Bianca. I don't know, but Leo, she's actually lucky because Gabe, the groom to be has now, like, that's now performed the new ridiculous rope swing moment. In that, he like, you hear him hesitating, like, okay, yeah, I got it.
Starting point is 00:35:31 He jumps off the boat and he sings and he goes, do I, do I, do I? And it just swings back, he just pinballs across all the equipment. Bless his heart, it's like every first day of rehearsal at Peter Pan, you know? I can do this. No! It's not even a while. They're just openly laughing at him, basically. And the captain's like, you guys should go explore.
Starting point is 00:35:56 The ground, not the water, or heights, or anything made out of possible gluten. I'm just gonna put you in a bubble, and we'll float you around. Yeah, Glenn goes, yeah, you know, there's a cave over there if you guys wanna go check it out, they're like, okay, cool. And then Glenn goes to Gary. Hey, Gary, some people are thinking about going over that cave.
Starting point is 00:36:17 I'm like, no, you were the one who told them to go to the cave. They weren't thinking about it. They wanted to tell stories about the time they went road tripping to badlands. Well, that's how you set yourself up for success, like put ideas into their heads. I mean, I was like, just put them in that case, they can stop embarrassing us. I mean, that other yacht saw that guy not able to jump off the rope swing. they're not going to race this later. So they do go swim in this cavern or whatever and Marcos is reading the list, the preference sheet list and they're also
Starting point is 00:36:53 lactose free because, you know, of course they are. So this dinner, just because it's not annoying enough, is an astrology sign dinner. So everybody has to dress like they're sign. So then we're gonna get to hear everybody's opinion about other signs, which is my favorite thing. When people are like, what's your sign, Virgo? Oh yeah, I could tell. Pretty controlling, huh? Like fuck off.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Do you know how many people am I sign anymore? Cause I feel like every time you tell them, they just come up with some reason to diss you. Like, okay, well, I'm a Capricorn. Oh, really? So, yeah, really dividing their thumbnails. So, yeah, that makes sense. People do that all the time.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Oh, you're a satch. So, you're stubborn, aren't you? I'm like, fuck yourself. Okay. Also, by the way, everything fits for every side. I'm sorry, I hate to break it to everyone, but everything is like, well, you know, as a Capricorn,
Starting point is 00:37:51 you know, it was everything all the time. Oh, I guess that was the quickest, that was, that was Marlow, but like as a Capricorn, you're loving, but you have boundaries. You're willing to take things, you do everything for your friends, almost to a fault, but you take time for yourself. I'm like, well, congratulations, welcome to every single, you do everything for your friends, almost to a fault. But you take time for yourself. I'm like, well, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Welcome to every single, every single horoscope is like that. Scorpius, sting sometimes, but they also don't like Bingstown. It's like, wow. So I'm like other signs who love Bingstown. So we're unlike other people from all different months of the year. It's like, as, as a Leo, you are quick to judge, but quick to apologize. Wow, but no one else from any,
Starting point is 00:38:31 born any other part of the year, we'll do that. I'm a Fergo. You're terrified of dying. Whoa, okay. Look at every other sign. It's like, can't wait to die. I love death. I'm a Sagittarius, your posture needs work. Whoa, why not?
Starting point is 00:38:50 Yeah, Fergo, you're not need you're not need yet. That happens like wait a second. I Know I act like this, but I totally believe in this 100% I have a while I used to I don't have anymore. I need to go back and get it But I love the birthday book and the relationship book. But they're by the same person and they're these big giant encyclopedia type books and it takes your birthday and your year, you like find it on a chart. And then it gives you like a five page reading and it was so gone. But anyway, fuck these people and they're not like this. Yeah, fuck them. And so, and so I was like, like meanwhile, Daisy and Gary are like talking somewhere by the crew mess.
Starting point is 00:39:32 And Daisy asks Gary if he wants to get married or settle down or something. And it basically says he wants to. He's like, but I don't like long distance, so unless it's a year later then, Daisy. And so then in the other like,
Starting point is 00:39:44 the adjoining room, Scarlet and Asher there and Scarlet's like, what are they talking about? And Asher goes, hooking up, like that's not they're not talking about that at all. You toxic. Yeah, she really is. And Scarlet's like, you I would never hook up with him. And Ashley's like, I was drunk. What do you want for me? Maybe not to hook up with people when they pass you not to. That would be a good start, actually.
Starting point is 00:40:10 So they're or to undermine people's employment slash relationships. That would be great too. All right. So they're laughing. And I love this. Scarlett has already turned that far where she's like, ew, I would never. Yeah. So then Gary is now with Colin and,
Starting point is 00:40:27 I mean, Gary, Colin is now with Gary and Daisy and Gary's like, well, I don't know about relationship, but I don't want to be alone forever. Which this is every guy Gary's age on Bravo. This is what happens, you know, they just start nearing that age and then suddenly they're like, it's like the chef's storyline, you know? Like he just sees the younger ones and so he's like, but I'll do it now. So Collins, like, well, sometimes they write under your nose, you know, there's a funny story
Starting point is 00:40:54 about how I met my girlfriend. Right. I guess I look on the table, but if it's 100 min, there's maybe there's a nice hot girl under the table. Nope. He's no one there. I just don't want to be alone. But no one even cares about you anymore. Doesn't even ask you questions about who you are, what you're doing in your life. I can't even imagine that sort of existence, right? Yeah, I mean either. So, um, Ashley just crawls out from under the table like, God, he still didn't even notice me. So, this is so close. So, the guests are getting ready for dinner and it turns out that the little guy who couldn't jump off the road swing is the groom, which I didn't figure out till now. And I was like, God, good.
Starting point is 00:41:42 And now he's got like a little bow in arrow. Yeah. He had to take off time working at the Earth Science Lab to put that on. I forget which fight nut is that has the bow in the arrow. It's not Tim, I guess. Well, isn't that actually Sagittarius? Is Sagittarius the hunter?
Starting point is 00:41:59 Oh my God. Oh my God. Is that a Sag? No wonder his posture was like that. Yeah, the cup of the ball's in a stubborn. Yeah, they can't rope swing. They wonder a monster was like that. Yeah, the couple of walls in a stubborn. Yeah, they can't rope swing. They can't. Actually, that actually tracks because I think I did tell
Starting point is 00:42:09 my rope swing story, which had a very similar trajectory to games. So what's going on, fellow sadge, fellow bad rope swing and sadge? So anyway. So anyway. There are stars, bro. Blame the stars. So they all sit down for their straw. They're all, by the way, they're all sort of
Starting point is 00:42:30 being, you know, they're like a astrology. So we'll be kind of pseudo-burning man, ask, you know, everyone's like a astrology ish or whatever, except for Laura, the primary, who can't eat anything and she's dressed on black. What funeral are you going? Leave where it holds. The white sister's in anyway. This is not her fault she has celiac for crying out loud. Of course, this is not her fault.
Starting point is 00:42:52 But for crying out loud, as long as, you know, like, you know, it's not her fault that she has this, but everyone is kind of having to kind of take an L on the food for her. And so she might as well just try to appear to have fun, at least. Right? This isn't a lily from Cheers theme party, okay?
Starting point is 00:43:11 You're allowed to smile. I know, like what Victorian haunted house are you caretaking? Oh, so Allegra is like, yeah, so I'm like blue. Oh, so what are you, Daisy? And Daisy says, oh, Jim and all it is. Oh, two faced love that. Fuck you. Wow, I did not, I did not even hear her say that. That's so, yeah, Allegra. So then, oh, what the, Allegra with your fucking dime store, mothball dress, get out of here. So they sit down and then Marco served some sort of like tomato soup like vodka tomato soup and Allegra's like oh, there's a kick in the soup. Wow. Oh my goodness. I'm
Starting point is 00:43:57 Overwhelmed by this kick in the soup. I've never had something so intense in my life. Wow Oh my god, I'm like literally dead. That is like so me, that's so my sign. And one of the ladies is like so Marcos, what's your sign? Oh, you're a cappacorn? That means you're very hard working. Oh really, you're telling the guy who's working very hard currently
Starting point is 00:44:20 that he's very hard working because of his shut up with this. That implies that all the other signs are not hard working. I just want to go out. Thanks. Thank God we didn't get a Leo. God, thank God. And he's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:44:32 And so now we have a spaghetti gluten free. And we've got some zucchini. That's gluten free too. That's a, you know, very good. And the lame, you know, dark cloud lady, Susan Linda. What does her name like? I hate her. I wouldn't even write. Linda Susan Laura. That's a flim. I know. My job right. Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. So, girl says, this is definitely because of my food allergies. I'm so sorry. They're like, it's okay. We'll have plenty of time to eat bad food, not
Starting point is 00:45:12 on vacation, which is just as fun as eating bad food on vacation. That's fine. So one of the guys goes, guys, when I, when I eat gluten free, I feel lighter. Yeah. It's like when people eat, like, just, you know, lettuce and a carrot, and they're kind of feel so much lighter today. Yeah, could you then eat a little box of little Debbie's, you fucking twit. Hahaha. You're in Bread Bitch.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Okay, so Daisy's like, then Daisy goes up to Colin and she's like, oh Colin, so you know we had a season one flashback over this episode and it got me to think and we haven't had enough annoying guitar music so would you like to play the music while Allegra walks down the aisle and I say aisle in quotation marks, air quotes because of basically just a bunch of conks sell shells we put on the beach. So then Marcus is fretting over his cake mold and everybody goes to bed and Oleg Rysike, I have to write my Vals now honey, we have to write our Vals.
Starting point is 00:46:11 Babe, we can write our Vals. We need to write our Vals. Oh, my dress is hanging up to that for steamer. I had to fold my Vals like origami. Can they steam my Vals? So, so then Marcos then is like, he has to make a three-tier cake, which means he's got to make three cake rounds. And he's explaining to us that, you know, the very difficult concept of not having enough to room in the oven, so having to make
Starting point is 00:46:39 things in batches, the batch concepts. It's a simple cut, but I don't know if you hear about batch durian, which is that when you don't have enough room for things, you do them in batch concepts. It's a simple cut, but I don't know if you're about batch theory, which is that we don't have enough room for things. You do them in batches. So he's explaining that to us. Yeah, because there has to be three levels of the cake. So the oven is small. So you put one cake in. That's, you know, you have room left in the oven. So you think I can put another level. So you put the other level, but then that leaves a third one that you can't put in. So you have to wait for the other two to cook. And then you take them out and then you put the third one that you can't put in. So you have to wait for the other two to cook and then you take them out and then you put the third cake in there
Starting point is 00:47:09 and then you wait for that to cook and then you have three cakes. I'm like, wow. Thanks. I know. Wow, slow, slow, slow season, huh? So then, that's very, yeah, the markers is like,
Starting point is 00:47:21 I'm going to treat this late, this cake like a woman with a lot of love a lot of passion I'm gonna explain lots of things to it. I'm not gonna hear their input And then I'm gonna touch it here touch it there a little massage there and I'm gonna make it really moist and perfect I'm like Can we like a glory al凼 for this cake, please? Can my please not eat your moist woman cake like it was a possible to skip this? Um, I've never thought of colleague HR on behalf of a cake, but I think it has to be done.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Yeah, that was, uh, that was a lot. And then I was reading comments last night while I was trying to go to bed and people are like, oh my god, Marcus is cake. I was getting so horny when he's talking about his yeah, really, you guys come on. The guy fucks cakes. So now, um, now is the morning and the cakes are done. So, Batch 3 worked out pretty well. And that's the last thing. It's like you're done with the cake. They're like, oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:34 The cakes are terrified in the kitchen. They're like traumatized cakes. The cakes are, yeah. They're like, please just leave me alone. I just want to be a cake. I know. I liked it better when I was just I was going to say flora, but I wasn't even that. So, um, because it's gluten free, get it. There's liars to that cake. Get it, get it.
Starting point is 00:48:58 So that joke had to be cooked in that joke. Had to be cooked in betches or in the same place they were in that one. It was a little bit of a half baked joke. Guys, I'm so sorry about the cake. Shut up. Linda. Sonnet. Hey, Linda.
Starting point is 00:49:15 This is Laura. Mark, find the cat. Damn. You're on vacation. Marcus is talking about how you didn't go to bed until two in the morning and then he got up at 640 in the morning because of the cake and He's like this is like a race, you know, I have the breakfast and then I have the cake and then after lunch and then I have the cake again And then I've dinner and then I've cake is like a race
Starting point is 00:49:39 Yeah, sounds like a Saturday. It sounds like sounds like cooking for your dad. So, so now they all have breakfast. They have eggs, Benedict, which I'm intrigued by. I wonder what he did. I like legitimately was intrigued what he did for the muffins. I guess did he make gluten-free English muffins? I think for this, he decided to tell that lady to go fuck herself because he did like half lobster and then he did zucchini muffins, he said herself because he did like half lobster. And then he did zucchini muffins, he said, but he did like half of them lobster and half of them, I think salmon or something. But then Laura couldn't eat it because she's like, this is the one day I wish I could. This is like one day that I'm sad I can't eat this stuff. And they're like, well, what would you kill yourself for here?
Starting point is 00:50:27 And she's like, the lobster. So she wasn't eating it. So I'm not really sure why maybe a shellfish allergy. Then yeah, she does because he says later, that's the thing. It's everything. So it's not just celiac. It's like literally, she's just one of the suckers. That's like every little thing.
Starting point is 00:50:43 I mean, it sucks. If you have like, if you have like allergies, like, I've met some people like that where every single thing like that sucks. So I do feel bad for her, but I just, I just want her to be more fun if she's got just if this is going to be what, what everyone has to endure that I want.
Starting point is 00:50:59 Make up for it in other ways, right? Make up for it. You know, like it sucks for you, but it also sucks for everybody else. So like, be the person who's like, Hey, anybody want to play trivia? I've got some questions memorized. Yeah. I'm like, Hey, you guys like karaoke? I have a great app on my phone. Let's do it at breakfast. Why do you burn suddenly up here? Like do something. But you know her trivia might be kind of annoying. It's like, guys, I got the Elm tree addition of trivial pursuit Okay, if you want to ask questions about Elm trees
Starting point is 00:51:29 This crew would though a leg road be like oh my god, that's so sad I would love to hear about Elm trees Do you know that dumb disease is actually a misnomer it really comes from the Philippines? That's a lot by the way, you know that Greenland is really icy in Iceland? Is really green? It's like fucked up, mappory. That right now.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Do you know there's no species of arm that's native to Greenland? Isn't that crazy? Isn't that wild? So let's see here. So by the way, I like more and more of our people than more we talk about them. I'm like, they I've them hot and more people than more we talk about them. I'm like, they I've them hot. I want to play yourself into.
Starting point is 00:52:08 I know them. Yeah, I am. You're like, God, these I bet these guests go home and play out in ring for six hours. So I'm like, God, I want to hang out with the leg right now. I love that I bet they love snacking cakes and playing feathers of cattain. Those asses, those pathetic assholes. Hey, Legra, you forget your sign already made your assage, but like, what's your Alton Ring belt?
Starting point is 00:52:31 Are you, did you max out Dex? By the way, I maxed out Dex and then I was reading an article, yes, it was on TikTok and someone was like making fun of people who max out decks and all the things. I was like, excuse me, I can't. I mean, did I do the loser build? Loser build? Probably. So Daisy is, they asked someone wants to go swimming.
Starting point is 00:52:55 So they go swimming, so that happens. And that's six hours until the wedding, and Marco is a decorant in the cake, and he says how his mom was a baker, so he just growing up my house my house always smelled sweet smell. I'm like, well, sweet smell is not a thing actually, but I appreciate the poetic backstory. And...
Starting point is 00:53:14 Oh, cinnamon would like a word. But that's not sweet, that's just cinnamon. I feel like sweet is more of like a taste than a smell. A smell, sweet is a smell. Vanilla? Vanilla's a smell. That's a sweet. I feel like it smells sweet is a smell. Vanilla? Vanilla is a smell. That's a sweet.
Starting point is 00:53:26 I feel like it's smell sweet. It smells. I feel like I will not accept it. Citrus. Orange. Citrus is a smell. Yes. It smells it to see.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Not sweet. Well, orange is like a different kind of sweet. Well, sweet smells. There's sweet, sweet smells. Sweet smells. That's right. It's the thing in New York City. I mean, come on. Bam. Come on. We need to take this off. I don't feel sweet smells sweet smells. That's right. Those thing in New York City. I mean, come on, man.
Starting point is 00:53:45 Come on. We don't like to smell sweet. I don't like smells or sweet. I feel like only tastes to sweet. I know this isn't. You haven't been an overweight person walking down the streets of New York eating off your thumb because you don't have enough money to get fracking your nets. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:00 The sweet net sweet is a smell like it's inside of you and it controls you. Well, I don't think sour is a smell either. How about that? Okay, I'm not going to argue at it. I love that the one who actually has done too much cocaine in his life is like everything smells. Everything has a smell. Thank you knows for just staying so strong. So the hubs, the hubs now that they have the hubs that you've talked to in the past. Yeah, it's like, you're not activating me. These people freak out around that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Oh, no, they could not, they could not. They would actually have caustic things to say. They would say, I just don't understand how someone like that just lives and like gets a buy in life. Like who is, she's trash. She's trash. That's what I say about Lindsay behind her back. If you like what's your sign?
Starting point is 00:54:50 Yeah, that's a trash sign. That's a trash sign, makes sense. So the couple has the meeting with the captain about their free wedding, that they're getting, and their free service from him. And so she's like, we're gonna do our own vast short and sweet.
Starting point is 00:55:03 It's like you are not, you're going on a fucking Pinterest and cropping shit down, okay? Please say you had me a hello and the human brain, brain weighs eight pounds. Please. I can't wait to hear your original vows. Oh, and then this is the part where they now have to like start sending stuff to the beach. So Daisy is tells Ashley, okay, I need you to load the fireworks, load the fairy lights, load, load, load, load, load, it's all. Which by the way, I mean, did I hear that right? Did she say load the fireworks?
Starting point is 00:55:33 Does Ashley going to be controlling fireworks? It's very scary. I don't know, but I just, this is not the show that people need to be screaming out loads at the top of their lung like we know we watch We watch I'm concerned of with the idea of fireworks with this group of people That's so loud. Yeah, they just leave out. They just turned into pillars assault So daisy's like well, I hope actually I can show her growth because planning a wedding is stressful. And if she can do this, she can do anything. And so then, let's see.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Lots, lots, lots. That's my next note. So then they're talking about if they're nervous, captain says, don't worry, they've got a perfect place, it's got a light house on it, which I like, because that's where people go to wreck their boats a lot or just like barely miss wrecking, which I think is perfect for this wedding. So they're getting everything ready for wedding setups and this is really just nothing, nothing's happening. It's like a lot of wedding, and then there's like
Starting point is 00:56:43 some chatter about like how everything's going smoothly, and then the tenderer arrives at the beach, and there's tons of people there just swimming around, et cetera. And it's like, okay, what are we gonna do? So they're gonna have to sit there and wait, wait until all these people go away before they can set up, although if it were me or for my dad, it'd be like, okay, you guys all need to get out of the way.
Starting point is 00:57:02 We're doing a wedding right here. Just push people out of the way. I think that's what they did because they ended up getting them all out on time and then everybody just watched from their boats because they saw it was a TV show, you know. Yeah. But yeah, that's what you get when you have, you know, you take free resources meant for the public for your own fucking wedding, okay? And this is coming from somebody who had birthdays in the park growing up. So I got, hey, make me friends.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Make new friends. So they set up and Ashley's like taking charge because she's like, the boys have no idea what they're doing. I have to step up right now. It's make it or break it. I'm like, you're, you're tying like, gauze around a tent. I mean, make a break of time. They should lucky to have me. So then, um, Marcos is stressing out with Daisy in the kitchen. He's like, every time I want to make something, she don't eat it, you know, like I've oysters, she can eat the shellfish. I mean, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:58:01 She's like, yeah, I can throw at the marco. Listen, if Ashley, if Ashley can do a win, you can do anything. So which is true. And so now the guests are going to the beach and then Collins like sitting there on a rock playing his guitar and then Gary's going back. Very nicely. I have to say, you know, Colin, I'm sure gets laid all the time. He acts like the whole long just to go out,
Starting point is 00:58:26 go out with a girlfriend, you know? But I'm sure he gets laid. Colin, A, he's gorgeous. He's okay. He's sweet. He's really sweet. And he's the guy with the guitar at the campfire who can actually play the guitar.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Yeah. Wow. There's something in the column. I feel like Colin seems so capable. Like he has that vibe, like he will just take care of you. You know, like he will take care of any situation. He's just like, he just seems like he's got it going on. Okay, and I think Colin is totally hotter
Starting point is 00:59:01 and totally much hotter than Gary for crying out loud. And they just don't even know how to face it. Any attention to him. I think it's because he's already entered the dad phase before he's the dad. You know, like, you know, guys who, when they were younger, they're like, they're the Gary. They're like the life of the party. They're like, having fun.
Starting point is 00:59:22 And then they find that special woman who tames them. And then a few years later, you see them. And you're like, now you're in sweaters and growing things and saying, frick instead of fuck. And, you know, you can't do anything without asking your wife, like we've all had these friends, right? But he's already skipped to that stage. So, you know, I think they want the broken one. And then they, a spouse, not just women, but I think a spouse, like you want to find the broken one and then kind of fix them and mold them into the sweater one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:53 So I think when they see a sweater one already, they're like, no, I need to mold, I need to make my own sweater. I want to choose a sweater. I want the yarn. I want the yarn. I don't want the sweater. Well, he's already the sweater everyone. So people should get your toggles ready. Okay. So, um, so now the guests are there at the beach.
Starting point is 01:00:13 And then Gary goes and gets his, I wasn't against his legra, but gets a legra. And so, uh, she's like, I went with a very subtle look. Do you see this? We were camping at Red Rocks, and I found this on the way back home. And I like that one of the guest goes, hey, let's do a cheers. Here's to being in a relationship for 10 years and then getting married. Ha, ha, cracky up at that for some reason. So then, so yeah, so then they do the Colin strumming and
Starting point is 01:00:52 a legress like crying at her wedding. And the captain's like, we've come here today. Before the captain, I have to say, I thought one thing that was like very funny to me was that, I mean, there's like six people at this wedding, right? Excluding the crew and they did a procession. And I don't know, I got that. Like, it just was funny to me because it was like, it was like barely an aisle.
Starting point is 01:01:16 It was just again, like seashells and some like random, like discarded cans that they made an aisle out of. And then it was like, it was almost like square dancing. It was like two by two. They like walk and be loving another two. And I'm like, I know people like doing a procession, but you guys can just walk up. Like this was, this just felt so late.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Good day. I think that's how you have to do it at weddings, you know? All they needed a flower girl. I mean, I feel like they needed Ashley just like leading it off just throwing condoms all over the beach. I guess it just felt weird to me because they walked the procession was like three, three bounds. Like they had to three steps to get to the altar and it was also the entire party. So, it just felt so oddly small for the pageantry, you know? Well, you know, what you get with free ass wedding, okay? I guess it's just me. I guess it's just me. I thought it was very strange looking
Starting point is 01:02:13 Yeah, you know, it's like I just was having birthday party memories of going up to random kids I didn't know I'm saying hey, I like your toy. It's my birthday and then taking it and pushing them down the dirt So that's where I was I guess why it was strange for me is because they were all standing in one place And then they had to all move together like three paces back and then one like at two by two They all walk back to where they were originally standing so it's just like this weird Thing that they did we're a bit of choreography People choreography So then let's see. Okay, so the captain is like, okay.
Starting point is 01:02:49 So we're, hold on, we've come here today to celebrate coming together of two lives. I mean, I hope you come together, but hey, you can only come when you come. What are you trained seals? Now the seals come at the same time. I'm sorry, I'm very nervous. I've never done this before.
Starting point is 01:03:04 Girl, you have a rash. You have a rash on your face time. I'm sorry. I'm very nervous. I've never done this before. Oh, yeah. A rash. You have a rash on your face. Go on. You have a rash hurry up. Linda's allergic to seal come joy. Linda says it's a loyalty. I need an umbrella. The sun going to hurt your skin. I need it's an umbrella. The sun's gonna hurt your skin. So then they get to their vows and Gabe is like,
Starting point is 01:03:27 I hope that I always get to hold you up. I'm like, well, she's very frail. So I have a feeling that you will. You might have to. I think you will. Gabe is the best. Just get one of those dollies. And then Kelsey just starts crying.
Starting point is 01:03:41 She's like, I'm a wedding cryer. She's like, wipe, search your hair with her hair. And then, Alexa's like I'm a wedding cry. She's like wipe certain years with her hair and then Alexa's like, Gabe You with the smartest person I know the most awful the kindest and the most fearless except for when you go on a ripswing and you make me feel like the most beautiful person in the world every single day And I know it's I know I'm a lot. I know this energy is boundless and hard to contain but Gabe It's always been you and I always will be you on the rope swing because you don't let go. I love you. I love you
Starting point is 01:04:14 What is this the end of a Scooby-Doo? It's always been you and it's always gonna be you you. And they got away with it too. So one for those darn kids. So then it cuts today's in the back like what the fuck with all these birds around. And they've made a plan because the girls are like, my God, should we like let somebody catch the bouquet because like it's just sad when the bouquet goes to somebody who like doesn't need it. So like we should like give it to somebody. Who should we get? Who should we like throw it to?
Starting point is 01:04:52 I'm so like, everybody goes, Daisy. It's so rude. I thought it was just cracking up because now it comes time to throw the bouquet. And Daisy's like, I've never even tried to get the bouquet before And she just like walks it over. She's like, you're daisy She's just knocking people over so she picks up a handful of sand throws it all the other bruh all the other women She's like, I've got it! And then it cuts to, it's gonna be okay. I've never done this before. I swear I got out of my way, bitches.
Starting point is 01:05:26 And then I cut to Gary. He goes, I'm not marrying you, Daisy. And then he runs into the water. I'm like, Gary, you're still working. Why did you just plunge yourself into the water at this person's wedding? What are you doing? Well, that was below Dick's sailing yacht.
Starting point is 01:05:43 Congratulations. I can't wait to see. Would you have at your reception dinner? Would you like fish? No, can't have that. Would you like chicken? No, can't have that. Would you like steak?
Starting point is 01:05:57 No. Welcome to your thumbnail dinner. That's all you're getting today. You're gluten free, dairy free, celiac thumbnail dinner. They didn't even bother putting in a cliffhanger. They just knew there was nothing left. There's nothing left in the tank for the season.
Starting point is 01:06:12 They're just like, that's it. It was a wedding and we don't have it. We have nothing else to show. So coming up, I'm going to be boring people eating dinner after they their wedding. So, yeah, that was, but that was the episode. It was not the most exciting, but that's what you get when they stretch out a season, but still I'm loving the season overall.
Starting point is 01:06:36 And next week is the final episode. So there we go. You guys, thanks so much for being here. We'll be back later this week with Dubai and Beverly Hills, so lots of fun stuff. And of course, our bonus episode. Yep, I'll be to Tim and thanks for listening, we'll catch you in the next one. Bye! Bye!
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