Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Sailing Yacht: Flailing Yacht

Episode Date: February 5, 2020

It's another version of Below Deck! This one sails and tilts and drawers open and people keep getting shocked by it. We loved it. Enjoy! For this week's bonus episode recorded on our road trip through Texas, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. *** Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Birmingham, NOLA, Lawrence KS, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Ben Madelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is on YouTube. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. What's going on, Bo? I'm just here excited to dive into a brand new

below deck. Below deck franchise. Oh yeah, me too. Feeling yacht. Wow. It's just going to be below deck all the at all times. It's going to be below deck all year round I think because I'm assuming this will lead us into med and med will take us into regular. So I think we just have Yacht's, Yacht's 365. Bravo. Just really knows how to hammer that one. Oh, man. I'm okay with it, to be honest. I really am. It's a lot of working. You know, it's a lot of people working and doing like physical

labor. It's a lot. Yeah, I need to see you. Yeah. For Christ sake, it's hard to watch. It's a lot of work. It is a lot of work, but I've really become a below deck fan over the years. So I'm all for it. I'm ready to see this. I'm ready to see where below deck selling out takes us. Yeah, and this one's different. I'm glad that it's not just like below deck, you know, Hawaii or whatever, where it's just, you know, more of the same, but somewhere else. This one is a lot different and it really is different because it's tiny. Yeah, it's cramps. It tilts. You know, as we see in the previews, that is, that is the main difference. But before we get to that, everybody, the point is, come see our live shows.

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That's where you find ticket links. We also have links up to our Patreon. That's where you'll find bonus episodes. This week is in the car with me and Ben as we traveled through Texas. It's pretty fun. And then let's see, we have crap and it's on demand. We're going to be free. Actually, you can find the newsletter links over at watchocrapins.com as well. You can find merch links to go my t shirts and everything is over there. And thanks to everybody who supports us. We love you guys. Thank you for letting us live this weird life. Weird life Love it. Oh also guess what else is coming up? What else? We have a couple more life shows in February a few more actually After in Ola we're going to Lawrence can't this Omaha, Nebraska And yeah, that's sorry. I looked at the whole

You just got excited. Yeah, so wait a second. Well, we should be excited Well, I'm excited to go to Kansas City because Kansas City just won the Super Bowl and I'm excited to go have a belated celebration with All the Kansas City folk even though we are gonna be in the state of Kansas Apparently there's not much of a difference according to certain Twitter feeds these days. So yeah, that's that So everybody go to watch across the comments about Okay, if you're confused about this presidential election and the caucuses and everything that's going on, this country isn't discord. Just remember, me and Ben, the presidents of the HIPAACRAP party.

Okay? That's right. I don't know. The Iowa caucuses, that's what happens when you have a third stew. I'm sure there was, like, I'm sure some of the third stews from below deck were there, like, I'll just gather this here and I'll just put these results next to the steak knives, which we have and everything will be fine. Hey, I've got maybe a for a national election, just have people from the neighborhood come over and I know just raise your hands for who they like.

That works. Uh, Iowa caucus sailing yacht. I would talk. It's all a deal. It's all to that. They they took they took the the caucus machine and so it started to leak everywhere. Yeah. Barlow deck sailing. I will caucus yacht. Burning. Just can't catch a break. This election by the way would be so much more fun if we're on an angle, you know, like if someone said Yeah, guys guys is the 2020 election, but this time it's on an angle I'd be like I'm tuning in for every single debate. I want to see Elizabeth Warren at an angle being just trying to figure it out

You know just like stinkin mad, you know She's mad just yelling about you know whoever. Well, he's just stinkin mad, you know, just like just yelling about you know, whoever Well, he's just stinkin mad on an angle Bernie is just like holding on to that podium extra hard because he's like he's afraid he's gonna fall over Why did no one close the drawers There is a problem with angles So we were going off about uh, I was about below tech Sailing out just a preview and I was like how do they not have a way to keep these goddamn drawers shut?

They do okay, but in the first Episode we just see everything flying open and it really upset me for some reason on the preview But I was glad to see that there actually is a contraption to keep the drawers close at least I'm guessing That's what that stick thing is that the captain was trying to show the shoes he had to put in. That's a drawer keeper closer, right? Yeah, it's a bolt out of some sort. The point is this, the trailers made it seem like it was like the end of Roger Rabbit or something with like things just like bowling balls that needed to be juggled and like

shit just coming out from all angles, you know? But so far so good. I think we've maybe, I think we saw some ice machine runoff a little bit, but so far the tilting seems to be in control. Yeah, I'm not sure about ice machine planning on this sailing yacht because water's got to run off somewhere. Okay. I have to say, I'm unreasonably angry at Pajit and Sierra

Like I'm like because the whole episode is like they were here for nine months I didn't do anything and I'm like yeah, and I'm just like fully I'm like you know what? I'm gonna I'm going to adopt that stance to I'm mad everything that goes wrong and believe me Pajit and Sierra Well, I think they were casting for this one. I'm like, hey, let's do a sailboat type thing. And they put out the call for it. And this guy was just like, I have about patches on it. And Sierra's on it. I would be fine. They're like, OK, you're on.

Like, oh, shit. I guess we should paint this boat. Yeah, probably. They're about to like sell the boat off. And boats are rasser something. They're like, shit, we're doing a TV show. Do we need those take-nives? So anyway um let's get into the episode so it opens up with it like the first few minutes are kind of trailer-esque but not really so we hear all sorts of voices like sailing on a super yacht is absolutely magical. You're using nature to move a great big boat. Hey guess how Noah's Ark moved nature, okay?

And that held giraffes and a problem with an ice machine, too Yeah, stop it stop acting like you're innovating with boats, okay? Boats have always moved by nature. Yeah, and Adam's like oh, I love the feeling you get when the moat is go off of the Sales I love the feeling you get when the motors go off of the sales Shut up. Yes, it's chef Adam who's just so charismatic. He got his kind of a spin off type thing. Yeah, you know what? Well, that's just we know what when it comes time to like waxing poetic about sale, though, so I'll sleep that to like Christopher Cross, okay? We don't need you, Adam.

Those motors go off and my van just coasts driving in a van takes me away. Literally. So things following doors opening and then the captain who's captain clan who for now is just going to be a very innocent version of Captain Lee. It's like Greece is the best country for sailing. There's that part of Greece, there's the other part of Greece, then there's that other part. Tell you what, they all have dole moss and they're delicious. Love every single place. Yeah, and you know what, one thing I like about Glenn is that he has book hands.

So like what he does is when he talks, he puts his palms together like face up like a book. And then as he talks, he opens and closes his little book. He's like, I like sailing boats, book hands, book hands, book hands, because getting there is part of the fun. Book hands, book hands, book hands. Yeah, I prefer sailbuzz. I've learned from below deck to be aware of people who say things like that. Like sure I can have a motor, but God, I love a sailboat. Honestly, sailing has barely ever made sense to me. I

Don't understand. I don't understand how if the wind if you're catching this if you're catching the wind with the sail Like the boat the boat is facing towards 12 o'clock. The wind is coming in going, going like, it's heading towards three o'clock. The sail catches it. Why doesn't the entire boat head that way also? Why, how does it keep going? How does the boat keep going straight?

I don't understand any of the things. I know I sound... You turn the sail to... I know I sound... To sail tilt, so they catch the wind at different angles and turn you different angles Ben. I still I don't mind but I want to record showing my sale ignorance. I just can't believe I'm the dumb woman in this relationship. You've got to know how sales work. Come on. I barely understand

I barely understand sailing. No, I know about sailing. I know. Guys, that's not something. I know. I suddenly can sing Kahn Pasi right now. Magnus, how do they work? Here's the thing. When I think of sailing, I think of that commercial for, I think it was Newprint back in like 1993 where there was a lady who was like, wow, I was on a sailboat the other day and they showed this black white footage of a lady on sailboat and the boom swings around and like knocks her over and then she has to like rely on new print to get through the day. That's what I think of, a lady getting knocked over by the boom and a new print commercial.

I don't want to be that lady. New print. Wow. Little yellow, different better. Oh, so we are getting quick flishes. We're getting quick flashes of the cast, right? So we've seen Adam, we've seen Glenn, the captain, and then our chief steed Jenna, who has upper Caroline face.

Her upper face is Caroline Bedol, okay. Her lower face is not so much, but her upper face has crazy eyes. She's extremely intense. This girl's fucking insane, and I'm gonna love watching her on this. I'm already really into her. I was actually getting some sort of like weird like like a vertical Sarah McLaughlin. Glotlin. Glotlin. Glotlin. Sarah McLaughlin. McLaughlin.

I love Sarah McLaughlin. I'm turning into like I'm freaking like deep in Dublin. I'm like Sarah McLaughlin. She's just she sort of looks like Sarah McLaughlin meets Kim Raver and I know that's sort of a very specific reference, but if you know who Kim Raver is, or you know, she was Audrey on 24, it has been on Grace and Adamy or whatever, I just feel like that was, that's where my mind went. Yeah, I just saw Upper Caroline, but then she's so intense. She's got Kristen, she's got Kristen, her or Pumper rules, and she's really intense.

And she's like, I'm not here to call on you or give a participation award. I was like, yes. So basically, she's like, you know, dads in my neighborhood. Like, what is everybody gonna goddamn a war? Get out there and play the goddamn game you know or yeah I don't know that every dad is that way but in my mind that's how it but like it also feels like

she might when you're sad she might start going in the arms of the angel sailing on a yacht from me seriously um so there is a thing about crazy eyes. When people have them, they're crazy. It hasn't failed me. It didn't get me. I'm going to stick with that one. We then meet Paget. I didn't know Paget was a man's name.

I thought it was, it doesn't matter. Listen, you know what? We can all have names for different people. But I just, I've never, I had only known one Paget and she was a she. And so I'm still working through this, like I'm working through the concept of sailing. But he's like, without me running the deck, they would be no deck.

I'm like, really, you couldn't turn out a hot tub. Yeah, I was like, really, Haley Joel Osment grown up. He's got everything for yourself. Really, person who I believe was in a band from 20 years ago, but I can't pinpoint which one, really? The Joel Osments. The Joel Osments. The Joel Osments.

They're like, the hiss is dead people. So then Sierra, see who are our little redhead on this show. And this season's redhead, which it was tricking us. The reason that's important to point out is because we were very tricked by below deck regular, which just ended like five seconds ago, because Abby was like, I just like sailboat, sailboat and grease, I'm getting married to guy from a sailboat and grease. I'm outta here.

And then she, oh yeah, you're right. And then this, here we are on a cell button grease and there's some unfaced red head in the commercials. And I thought it was gonna be. It was gonna be happy. Oh, she's a stew with, she's a deck hand with no name.

I was just hoping she'd be faceless. I mean, that would be a really good, that would be a first for Roba, like an actual faceless character. I just would like it if she just took off her face and was Abby inside and then Abby takes off her face and it's Riley. And then she's, it's just like a really, like a really deep callback to a bizarre storyline in Game of Thrones. And Sierra, I think she hangs out with Paget a little because she talks just like him. I don't really let people underestimate me.

I don't know if the deck would function without me. All right, you guys are, they have their very territorial because it's sort of their boat, I guess. Is it their boat? I know they've been on the boat for the nine months, but is it really something weird? There is some reaction boat. I think this was like, this is what I imagine. It doesn't know that. Glenn does not own that. But it seems like Glenn, okay, it seems like Glenn bought this boat to just like live, he's like, I'm going to retire a couple years early and get this boat. And he's like,

well, I'm lonely on this boat. Anybody, and then he put on Craigslist, Greastot, like Craigslist, or whatever. And then he was like, I'm lonely. And then these two came along. They're like, no, we're totally not together at all, which is hard workers cap. And then he's like, oh, these kids.

They're gonna murder someone, you know that. This is like a full on setup. And that crags us at, what did it say? Did it say, I'm looking for a first mate who may or may not have a child bride with him? All entries accepted. I think it said, important, extremely large professional yachts seeking important, extremely, uh, whatever, important crew, only top a boat and I know this guy who worked on a boat, too. He just was floating on a rafter when they found him. That's what it sounds like, right? I think that there's a very interesting backstory between the three of them.

I think Byron too, because he's part of the extended family, but we haven't gotten there yet. But for right now, it's definitely parties in this story, for sure. Well, it's also like when the suburban family moved, or the city family moves out to the country into the haunted house, but there's always the groundskeeper like, oh, I wouldn't go in there. You know, that's who like Sierra and Pajadara. Like, we're just your friendly boat keepers. Something's fishy about them. No, no, did you all come in?

I think I don't want to take everything down to sex, but I think they've all had sex. Okay, they're ascending. Well, pageant in Sierra have, for sure. No, like all of them at different times. Like all. Yeah. I always say both like, I can't. No, I can't.

What's a sailing boat like? I can't, you know, I'm not doing that to Glenn just yet. Glenn is so adorable at least right now, and I'm just like not willing to throw him into a sex party situation. Well, you can still be adorable and have a sex party. No, but like I feel like Paget and Sierra have such a boring sex party. Like they put on like Amy Mann and they like like a candle and then just like line next to each other and then invite someone to lie next to them and then just when line next to each other and then invite someone to lie next to them.

And then just when things are happening, someone has to go put Amy Mann the song on again and then everyone gets tired and they decide that it wanted to do it tomorrow night instead. Wow. Talk about the story from a sex party that never ever really happened over there. No, no, no. I'm, I'm, you know, me. I'm a prude. So, but either way, it was a pretty prude story. It was a pretty prude story. Right. No, I mean, I'm really happy. That was real life, everybody. Sorry, you got that. So I once went to, I once was after gay pride, I found myself like in a hot tub with a bunch of like older Gays and I was like and I'd like raced off and I went home. I was like that was scary mom I almost got my rent paid for yeah, I don't even get to the Amy man part

Mm-hmm. Oh So then we go over to Madison now this is by the way five seconds into the show is usual. So Madison Madison is like the blonde girl with a big mouth. She's like, I'm the facilitator of a good time. I catch sheets when people throw at me. The card on top of sheets. Oh, and then we have Georgia who I love because she's the first person ever on this show that has our accent, you know? Our terrible accent. She actually has, she's like, all I pull to look, I mean, admittedly she does.

She was literally raised as we find out a little bit later. She was literally raised with a fake British accent, but she's from South Africa. That is every single one of our accents. She's like, I pulled you like a rock star, I drink like a sailor, I was made for this. And she's like so prim and proper. Yeah. And then we get Byron, the chief engineer, which is nice that we actually get a chief engineer on this boat, because.

I never heard her, apparently. So Byron's like, the rules for sailing are hammers. You get a hammer, you hit a hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, selling in hammers. Stole Pima time. So, uh, so then, uh, and then we also have Parker. Parker comes in. He looks sort of like, um, Dawson from Dawson's Creek, whatever's name was James Vanderbeek. By the way, actually a general note, Parker and Paget and Adam just kind of all look the same. They look like three sort of stone hinged things. You know? Stone hinged things.

They're like a very, very white, extremely white people. This guy Parker is very like, I don't know, poor and hub white. You know, it's cute. Yeah. You've been in like a lot of frat videos and then he really thinks he's like the hottest thing ever. And he is cute. Like, you got a hand at him. Like, he's cute. But I'm 44. And so I've seen what happens when people like get older and fat and bald. So that's how I try to look at every cute person. Yeah. And I was like, you know what? I think he's charming enough to pull it off. I think he'll, he's cute enough for now. I'm like an old rascal, you know, who's kind of weird.

I'm still really excited to find out the context of him saying, do you think it's funny that I'm still breastfed by my mother and then someone saying, yeah, and he goes, well, fuck you. I really need to know what's going on with that. That's some fake out. I think you were right. You said that last year, whenever we talked about it, that it's a below deck fake out. And I think you're right.

Below deck has the most fake out. So we meet Parker and he's like, I'm like the James Bond. I've got gadgets and fidgets and digits and whatever. It's like, okay, fine. You're done. I love when he said, I've got gadgets. They show him whipping a towel. It's like, yeah, just like James Bond. One of those high tech towels. Then we get the theme song. The theme song is of all the below decks. This is the one that's the closest to achieving melody. It's got kind of like a boppy 80s vibe.

It kind of felt like it was Cindy Loper. It was going to be Cindy Loperper but never quite got there. Yes it's it's like the most effort I think that was for the into the theme song. Yeah there was even like a hint of a backing vocal in there did you hear that? Was there? Yeah because it was sort of like it was like didn't I don't know the M the melody, but the vibe of it was like, and then someone in the background was going, Oh, oh. Hi, I'm Cindy Loppa. I'm not Roya.

I got Swoices, and I also got the Need for Sailin. Please enjoy my new theme song, Girls want to sail. But then it does that below deck theme song thing where it veers off at the end. It's like going to a certain place and then suddenly it just makes no sense. It's like Dun dun dun. Ow, dun captain is like, oh, God, we haven't been shipped for nine months. When we were in the off season, I brought in CR in Paget. We're the core family of Parsival. So about as part of all.

Parsival, Parsival 3. It's the third one. So CR is like, we learn about CR and that she and Padgette have been dating for four years Which for some reason it's just like for some reason I just got annoyed like right away. I was annoyed at them. I don't know why Yeah, cuz we're just that couple that's like always having little arguments. They're it's just good-manjored Yeah, I just feel like yeah, sir. It's just good, man, sir. It's just good, man, sir. It's just good, man, sir. It's just good, man, sir. It's just good, man, sir. It's just good, man, sir.

It's just good, man, sir. It's just good, man, sir. Yeah. But I just feel like, yeah. I feel like they're going to be bossy. Well, yeah, they're like the bosses. Okay. This is like, yeah.

This is their house. It's also just not a romantic story, but at least Sierra doesn't pretend, you know. And this is why I think that he's an asshole. Because I feel like she would make this more romantic. This is probably her making it romantic, which means he's probably a nightmare. I think he cries a lot. and like, I think he cries. I'm going to say that. He gets really frustrated and then starts crying. He's like, I don't know what I'm like this. It's okay. It's okay.

We're on the parts of all. So anyway, see you're playing some any man. He's crying again. So Sierra is like, okay, here's our story. We were working. Then we moved in to save money and then we were dating. And here we are four years later. Really? It's just like the notebook. Yeah, but also like when we later find out that her family that they moved on to a sailing boat when she was 15 and they hired Paget to help learn how to sail. So it's like, okay, so you've, like, you matter when she was 15 and now you guys are born and I don't know, it's sort of as weird to me. Oh, well, he's really young too, isn't he? He's not old or anything. Oh, really? He looks old to me. He looks so young to me. I mean, maybe because he has Haley Joel Osmond face and I always think of that kid in six cents, you know. But to me,

I, it's like Haley Joel Osmond when he was like 13. And so I think that they're both young. But I mean, maybe if he was like 17 and she was 15 or something like that, then maybe it's all right. But I don't know. I got like a weird vibe off that. But I also, the way you put it, like he needed somewhere to work. So her family hired him him So basically you're fucking your stepbrother or you're adopted brother not your stepbrother. Yeah Which is I don't know you know There's like a whole section of the internet for that kind of like porn for that kind of thing where they're like Uh-oh you step sisters home What is the below deck composer doing scoring a

full no. So the song of a low deck. So um. So Siara is like, you know, I sort of call myself the mom on board. I'm like, okay, you're going to know it everyone. She is, she has that, like, that sense of entitlement. Like I'm just the mom, you know, they're all going to get pissed at her. Yeah, she's got a wooden spoon in her glove compartment to beat you in the back seat with. She has that sense of entitlement. I'm just the mom. They're all going to get pissed at her.

Yeah, she's got a wooden spoon in her glove compartment to beat you in the back seat with. Yeah, she's like, we've never worked in the same department. So who knows? But I'm the mom. I don't think anybody has ever been on a show where they're like, I'm the mom of the group that everybody ended up liking, right? Never, especially when you're like 22 years old, by the way. Yeah.

Oh, so Pajit agrees. He's like, we have a family and a new crew. Having a new crew just feels weird. And then you see him with Sierra. And he's like, no, Sierra, this is how you mobs. This is how you mop the side of a boat. And he's like man-splaining mopping to Sierra. Yeah, because the thing is that Sierra is going

to be a deckhand and normally she's in the interior, so but she's in a different position now. So she'll be learning the ropes a little bit, but probably also feeling a certain sort of entitlement, not entitlement, but a certain sort of way about how things are done on the interior. You can already see some of those tensions coming out in this first episode. Yeah. the interior, you can already see some of those tensions coming out in this first episode. Yeah. So then Adam's like, guess who's back after his solid year of driving a random band with my dog? Well, I had a bad case of skabies and the medical bills were high. So guess what? I'm back on the boot. Oh, God, Adam. So then the captain meets Jenna. Yes, who comes in with an enormous infinity scarf. So already suspicious. She's like, when I was starting out, I was trained

by this hard corchisee. I came up like a Navy seal. so I am all about perfection. Yeah, perfection. Like a perfect scarf. Where does it begin? Where is it end? I don't know. I never will know, because perfection is impossible to attain. Like infinity. Boo-ya!

Oh, and then she meets Adam. She's like, he is coyote! I said no chance. Not because you're not cute enough, but Adam doesn't like people who like him. He only likes like the youngest, hottest person on the boat. He has no chance with it. That's who Adam likes. Yeah, that's his favorite.

Yeah, consistently. Also Adam's galley is tiny. It's this like small, dark room where everything is metal. It looks so oppressive. Everything on this boat, by the way, feels very oppressive. I think what you get used to, like the expanse of the below deck,

the other below deck yachts. And so now this one, every hallway just feels narrow. And it's like everything's like woodpaneled and metallic. And it's pretty, this is like the dospute of yacht and shows. And it's like, this is like the dos boot of Yotton Shows. So now there's a girl who can't roll a suitcase and it's Madison. Like she's trying to roll a suitcase, but it keeps like tripping up and then not only like tripping up, like she can't roll the four wheel suitcase.

Yeah. Nautoriously, the easiest suitcase roll. Truly, it has built-in role technology and she's messing it up. So she's like, I'm made for yachting, I'm an energizer bunny, I'm just run on coffee and candy, just give me some skittles and caffeine, and I'm good to go.

And then she says energizer bunny like 10 more times over the course of the episode. Yeah, I'm the one with energy, I love caffeine. Like, is it illegal to say outer-of-all on camera where you're shooting? Because you're not fooling anybody, okay? Yeah. That is not the product of miconikes. Mm-hmm.

Not at all. So, she shows up. And so now, then Sierra starts showing Jenna the main salon. And it's like all messy. Because there's all these pillows everywhere. And Jenna, but I like about Jenna is that she's trying to be nice, but what happens is that her distinct winds up being very poorly veiled. So she looks at all these pillows and everywhere.

And she goes, wow, it's all very, ah, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Like basically her way of saying, this is a shit show. What have you been doing on this boat for nine months? And then Sierra is like, well, it's not charter ready and I'm not going to hide it. I mean, do you like the new teak? We did that.

Okay, congratulations on teaking the boat. Also pick up the pillows out of the middle of the room. Yeah. Did it take nine months to teak the boat? Because then I'm less impressed. You doing one thing doesn't negate you not doing 20 other things, ma'am. Yeah, you know what? I was looking at Stasi Schroder's Instagram and you know what she did this weekend? She teaked some windows in her new house. Stasi can do it, so therefore

I'm less impressed that you did it too, Sierra. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Georgia from South from South Africa meets page it and he's like hello. I'm from England, which I he doesn't have an accent does he? He does yes, I'm like you have to like wait a minute. I don't believe you're Hayley Joe So he does he's like hello from England. She's like, oh, I've been told I have that fake accent of yours and he goes Yes, you sound like you're faking it. Geez So would I have that fake accent of yours and he goes yes, you sound like you're faking it. Geez. She goes, I'm definitely not British. My mom studied in the UK and she came back to South Africa and raised her children with fake accents.

Mother is amazing. You know, she was like, you know what, I'm going to conduct a study, a long term study, a 19 year study. What happens if I raise my children with fake accents? And it's going to go in the journal of just fun studies. It's amazing. It's like we're going to say in Fates here. You're going to talk like this now.

So Georgia meets the other girls and they're talking about their uniform. So I put this on now and she and I was like, yeah, no Madison's like, oh my god. She's the chief stew, which is crazy that you didn't even know Georgia's like, oh my goodness. I can't believe that. Wow Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,

from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown, alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. Must be the... a folly. That's just an English folly that I had. Let's see. So Byron, the engineer, arrives,'s good, but he's with the, with the captain. He wanted to get him lead. I think he's going to be down here. Well, yeah, he's going to take a few episodes to even get close to the terrible voice that I'm going to need.

But Byron, Byron's giving off some Robin thick visuals a little bit. You know, he sort of has that square here that Robin Thick has in the beard. You know, honestly, this show has really trained me to not pay attention to anybody else on the boat except the leads because I feel like why invest in them? They're not real. They're not real story lines, so I'm not even going to look at them. So Byron, I mean, I wrote down that his name is Byron Thick. He's a cast member.

He's in the opening credits. I know, but Bullo Deck has trained me if they're chief stew or I mean, if they're like a engineer or something, it's like, don't even don't even invest. Don't even remember their face because they're not real Ronnie. Don't get all obsessed with the story. And so I just see here, man, I just see it again, a blank face. Yeah. blurred lines with that one. So a face blurred face. So yeah, well, he worked,

Byron worked on the boat five years ago and he's part of the extended Percival three family. So he's going to be roaming with Glenn. That's how small it is that Glenn, the captain has to share room with someone else. Yeah, captain Lee thought it was bad sleeping on the couch a couple of nights. Yeah, yeah. No, Glenn is all he's going to be under Byron. Byron's like, is this the shelf all have to be sleeping on and you know, Glenn's like, that's all right. I can sleep down here. I'm cozy. I sleep like a log, you know.

Yeah. And Byron's like, well, I'm married and have a one year old daughter. It's our believer. But coming home makes it easier. And this is the first time I was like, wow, this is actually dad who wants to actually go home to his child. Yeah, it's a real dad. Yeah, because usually it's guys who were like, yeah, have a baby. I miss my fucking kid. Fuck that fucking kid. I never quite buy it. Yeah, I want to see a show about all the blow deck daughters, you know, because there have been so many little girls on this show that have had fathers leave them behind to come on to this reality show. I mean, it's just nothing but little girls like, well, I got a little girl and it was an

accident, but now she's my life. It's every single one has the same story, except for Byron. Byron really broke them all. Yeah, and I got kicked out of my house because I have a temper issue with my drink, which I'm not doing as much, cut to them like wasted in some virus somewhere. Byron's like, yeah, I have a baby girl and I love her and I had a after I got married to my wife and we have a very happy life. But did you not have the baby, did you not get wasted at a bar and have your baby then?

No, no. It was part of our family plan. Does your baby not come out of the room with a hero in the Dixon then? No, no, no. She was perfectly, conceived perfectly normally, maybe normal life. I might mention her here and there. Do you think you might face time on and pretend you're the best dad in the world when you know you've been a terrible person to other

people around you? Actually, I FaceTime her 19 times. She's on my FaceTime right now. Darling, is that you? Sorry, you and my pocket did it here. We're actually thinking about having a boy next. A boy? I thought we can only have little girls and only one of them. You're no longer cast on this show, sir. And don't worry, you will see all the daughters from below deck one day on the bachelor. OK, those are all the kinds of girls you see there. They're like, here's my drama.

My dad left me to go be on a boat for his entire, for my entire growing gut pod. Do you think we'll ever get a blow deck, submarine? Because that would be interesting. It's like literally below. Way below deck. It's like, we call it literally below deck. Below below deck.

Below. Below deck. Hey, welcome to your luxury submarine. You're going to be inside the entire time and looking at darkness. Okay. So Parker is next, the hottest guy. guy and he's like I learned to sail it.

I'm confident a smaller but and so Adam is not still me with confidence. Yeah, man. Yeah. So I have a lot of experience with sunfishes and I want I once I actually had a little toy boat so I had fun with that in summer camp so I'm ready to take on this yacht. Yeah I think this so needs more skilled people not less skilled people. This seems like a much scarier boat to be interesting your life to people. Terrifying. I'm terrified I buckle. I have like an invisible seatbelt that I buckle into when I watch the show. I'm like, what happens if my laptop falls off?

A seatbelt. For men, you'd be in a seatbelt on a boat. You're breakfast. Wait a minute, I'm drowning. How do you understand how this boat is even moving with the sales? Okay. So the deck hands are having their meeting while the stews are having their meeting we cut back and forth and Parker's like hey, I'm Parker and a pretty greener the industry, but I have questions. I'm gonna totally ask questions Yeah, Parker first question What's a sale Pretty good with canoes

I have a badge about making thought will not really make a par sitting around a fire, but that's bad as far as my training goes. Second question, have you been to summer camp? I have. Third question. Has anyone else made out with Jenny by the well in the woods? No. Fourth question. Is Bruce Willis here to anybody else here? I'm getting my blood white guys fixed up damn it. Fifth question. After this meeting is done, does anyone else want to go audition for Oklahoma for the musical? No? Oh, sorry, got Haley Joel Osment confused with Parker. Parker. It's still worked. It still worked, because I can imagine Parker still asking if anyone saw Bruce Willis the like, no that was, that was a bully. That's like, hi to you, I see him. Okay, so let's see. So Jan is like, okay guys, my

management style is pretty forward. Now look, I'm not a bitch, but I'm a really mean motherfucker, Navy SEAL, mother truck, right? Now I don't like challenges to my authority. And that doesn't mean you can't have an opinion but on the first couple of charters PLEASE follow my lead PLEASE and PLEASE and Madison's like well, you know what? I'm like the energizer bunny in case I hadn't mentioned that before and I'm just like you know I'm just here to make your life easier

I mean just tell me what to do and I will do it especially if involves eating candy and having coffee I will do it. I will make your life easier Okay, because I would like to reassert that I am the energizer bunny. Okay. I just have lots of energy. Like, shut up. You're not making my life easier right now. And Georgia says, I don't now have to do mooch. Battalion. And so just like, you know, most of the stews I get are soft. Guess what? I'm not here to be your mother. I'm your chief stew, which is a nice departure from I'm not here to make friends. Yeah. So I'm not here to be your mother. I'm your chiefs to which is a nice departure from I'm not here to make friends Yeah, I'm not here to be your mother mother

That's what you should say I like ending any sense with mother just any of them like Well, I learned how to sail back in summer camp and I'm not I don't have a lot of experience in it But it's something I want to learn. Mother. Mother. Oh. So Parker and Parker's talking to Paget. Parker and Paget, I mean, my God. It's Parker and Paget, they look the same.

Their names are both less common. They both see Bruce Willis apparently. Yeah, they're both extremely white. So, um, Parker's like, I'm from Maryland and Padgette's like, where's that then? It's like, oh, so Parker's like, well, do you remember in school and Syracuse, I've never been to school. I grew up on a boat. And this is where she tells us her story. She's like, my family took a three day sailing course, bought a boat and moved the family to school. I grew up on a boat. And this is where she tells us her story. She's like, my family took a three day sailing course, bought a boat and moved the family to Spain.

We didn't know how to sail. So we hired Paget. And that's how we met. Yeah. And good thing for Paget. Otherwise, we might have just fallen off that ocean. We could have sailed a little too far if you know what I'm saying our favorite our favorite sport was polio Oh, god, so um Okay, so it's a now Adam and Jenna are downstairs and they're like it's so weird that there are people from the boat here Is that so strange and they like walk around and say, you can't go down to the basement. It's so weird.

It's like a wild talk shit. But then they stare at me. I'm like, I can't talk shit. Otherwise, they may put me in the basement. What's in the basement? Yeah, this happens. You know, the boat stays on doubt too long and it turns into their apartment.

I know. I just test drove the van before I knew it. It splused on the ceiling and boom. Broke it, you bought it, sucka. It's not living drove the van before I knew it and sploosed on the ceiling and boom broke it you bought it sucka I live in a van now Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was actually thinking about moving on in life so uh, I gave it over to CarMax Guess what? No one's bought it yet apparently uh Apparently it's just a big circle of dead insects around it Apparently it's just a big circle of dead insects around it.

So the captain has a meeting and the captain is already making a very big mistake. Okay. The captain's like, you know, what I like to give people ownership. I just trust people in their jobs. You know, I just say, speak to people in your department first. It becomes too much of a problem come see me cool cool other cool cool Go cool, and they're like okay cool. So now it's like cool cool cool cool cool So now now they're all cleaning and it's like cleaning montage is in Georgia's like this bit is a shit show unlock Eaton where I did not go to school. So then the grill's not working. So there's that and stuff.

So preference sheet. The first, the first couple of the season is a family, Alan Jennifer. One's a loaded software engineer that retired from Apple and then their kids, one of them's graduating, but then they've got like Italian friends, Guy and Alessia who are coming in from Italy. Yeah, something is weird about this. I mean, the fact that there's someone in, you know, Alan and his wife, Jennifer, Alan and Jennifer Ward and they have a daughter named Emily and Emily has a friend named Peyton, sounds exactly right,

but then all of a sudden, they're like friends with a guy named Guy who has an Indonesian Beach Club, and who is getting married to a woman named Alessia. I'm like, hmm, why do I feel like these two are put together by casting? Like they're like, well, we want this family, but we also want these two. Let's just say they're all friends.

Yeah, because they still have to have six people, I guess, to come on this boat, even though it's tiny, because isn't the, aren't the big folks? Like you have to have a minimum of six people or they don't know, but you don't know. I guess we should find someone and you know, so like a Craigslist is doing a lot for this. So yeah, and then, and then they're looking over the preference sheet and Adams, like, well, everyone wants Greek food and sushi, which there's nothing inherently wrong with that.

But just I'd like to have everyone like, we must have a Greek spread. I want termasolata. I want to have tatsiki. I want to have musaka. Oh, and also some California rolls. Yeah. Um, and chance like considering what this boat looks like. It looks like it was just taken over by pirates.

I don't give a shit who likes lobsters. There's still triash bags everywhere. She's so angry. So, um, yeah. So then meanwhile, Pajit is informing us that he and Sierra will not be cuddling in the corner because that's very unprofessional and as a professional first mate who has now be taken his client's daughter as his girlfriend, he needs to say professional. Well, I don't know. It's like you're not your boat. I'm being so juggie. Well, it's just like your boat school.

Who else you gonna meet, you know? It's almost like you're just forced to be with whoever's there, you know? I guess it's Paget. I guess that's my entire graduating class kind of. It's like a guy graduated last year or whatever. I feel like Paget, like, I don't know who, I don't know what Tom Cochran looks like. Tom Cochran, he sings,

Laugh is a highway, I wanna ride it all not long. I feel like that's what Paget looks like. Modern day, Tom Cochran. Paget? I don't know what Tom Cochran looks like either, but I just can't imagine Hayley Joel Ossman singing life as a highway. Maybe, maybe like the lead singer of Delamy Tree.

I see that people. Well, Madison, meanwhile, is showing off. She's talking about tattoos and saying how she's like, so excited to get a drunk tattoo, you know, like, because she wants to go to tattoo with her friend, but it was like, not even like a lover, just like a friend, and then they got drunk tattoos. And she got me out on her lip. She goes, it says me out. I hate cats. I like to be intelligent with my tats with my drunk tats. And Jen's like, oh, yeah, I know drunk in tats. I've got five of them. Oh, it was her with five of them. I thought, oh, I thought that was Madison, but five of them. Oh, it was her who had five of them? I thought that was Madison who had five of them.

Oh, they were just talking about drunk tattoos. Madison does get a lot of drunk tattoos, but Jen's like, yeah, I have five of them. And she's like, look, I've had it where no one could see it. My let. No. That's an easy way to see it. I think that's a place people could be pretty easily see it.

Here's the second mistake that the captain makes. When provisions come, the captain's helping. And here's the second mistake that the captain makes. When provisions come, the captain's helping. And he's like, when I have my hands free, I pitch in. I think it's normal. No, it's not normal. Okay, sir. Go sit in your office and boss people around.

Okay. And then you come up to them, even if they didn't ask you for your opinion or your advice, and you tell them you're doing that wrong. Okay. You shouldn't have to do this shit because now you're gonna have to carry something where people are gonna call you lazy. Well, he's Canadian, so he's very nice, and that's what's happening here.

His niceness, his Canadian niceness just takes over, even though he should be just staying in his cubby hole. Yeah, I say you do something one time and then everyone's gonna be like, oh, there's Ronnie, let's have him unpack the groceries again. Like no, I did that one time. I was only moving the groceries out of the way so I could get through the door.

You know, sorry, even touch the grocery bag. Don't touch the grocery bag at all. Never do that. So there's like provisions and provisions and the provisions and stuff that just goes through the night and cleaning, etc. And then Parker and Adam are, they're roommates and so they're joking about how like, they're gonna have like the dude bro cabin and it's like, dude bro, yeah, what's up bro, what's going on dude, whatever, you know, so it's like fun times. Yeah, and Gentel's Parker. I feel like you get ready in the mirror and talk to yourself. I think as, yeah, I've definitely been told I've got a mirror face.

And Adam goes, everyone has a mirror face, dude. Yeah, Parker goes, but mine's like distinct. I have a mirror face and a mouth. Yeah, and then he does it does like a little swivel thing and puts his hand. It was here like, this will impress Cindy and Bunk 6. And then it's time and Parker is doing mirror face. He does mirror face right in the mirror. The music stops to be like, and here is the mirror face.

So Jen just keeps going up to her stews and going, guys, just want to warn you, I'm not a bitch, but I'm a horrible human being. You're going to get it tomorrow. Okay, good a bit. Get some rest. By the way, have a good sleep. I'm a horrible human being. You're gonna get it tomorrow. Okay, good aback. Get some rest. By the way, have a good sleep. I'm a horrible human being. You're gonna feel tomorrow, right?

And yeah, so then next morning she's like, she's like on them, you know, watching every move that they make and she tells us, she has this like philosophy that I feel like has a lot of holes in it. She goes, I'm looking to see if my girls have that attention to detail that's so imperative to this position. Because if they're looking at these small details now, I know I can trust them through the season. I'm like, yeah, no, they're looking at the detail, they're being detail oriented now because it's the beginning and they know you're watching.

Give it three charters and wait till Madison is just like, you know, spitting on glasses and wiping them with a side of the hem of our skirt. Yeah, true, good point. I know that's how I get his jobs go on and on. Like, fuck this. Okay, I've done a good job for two weeks. I mean, has anyone even heard our podcast? We're barely even here right now. I'm not even sure what I'm saying. I don't even know.

Um, so everyone has to switch into their grandpa's because the families arrived. But their minus, their Craigslist couple. In the Indian Indonesia. Ooh! So the, yes, it's like what would happen and it goes to commercial, it comes back. And it's like, guess what? No, the other couple got delayed. So, the main family comes on.

And by the way, Chef Adam is still has a stupid baseball cap on while he greets these guests. Always. That's always. And that's something that Sandy got on him for. And you know what, it really bothers me. Like, maybe fine. We're during the charter, but when guests are coming on board,

can you not wear your baseball cap, please? Yeah, did he already say this in the episode? I think he said it after the captain was like, all right, everybody, just do what you do. I'm just going to let you be free and do you. And Adam's like, well, that's nice, because last season, I was with Captain Sandy. Uh, she was at my butt. And it's like, cut to Captain Sandy like, um, Adam, you can't serve boogers for dinner.

Yeah. Yeah. You can't do it. Hey, Adam, could you please not fight right in the guest face? That would, could I have another slice of toast, please Adam? Is that really too hard to request? Hannah won't get it for me. So, uh, yeah, yeah, it does drama.

So yes, I think guys are coming on board and George is like, I'm Georgia. I can't shake a hand, but I can't give you a towel because I am 100% British. I spell towel, T-O-W-L-E. That's not a British thing. Oh, really? Oh. British. My mother said that I British people spell towels. Mother. Mother. My mother said that mother. you British people spoke to us mother mother My mother said that mother so now we get the address. I'm sorry. I forgot to say this They were getting dressed and Madison got her head stuck in her collar. No, that was great. Okay. I was just scrolling through here

We're selling shortly. Okay, so they're they're they're going right they're doing fine and the cat They're motoring off in the captains like people think sailboat sail everywhere not true I'm impressed with how we got off the dock, but wait till these people see a drawer open. They're gonna freak out Wait till we turn this boat into sort of the bye-bye-bye video going on an angled So it's time to put the sales up. Time to put the sales. Oh, better alert alert. Everyone start doing some light stowing do some light stowing. So now everyone is like, okay, gotta like lock everything down because this shows about the go on a tilt.

And so meanwhile, we see the kitchen and there's like a this is exactly what I would expect. They're about to go on a tilt and then we cut to the kitchen and there is like literally a pyramid of plates. It's like, why are you stacking your plates like this on a sailboat? It's like, oh wait, hold on. I'm just about finished making my stack of champagne glasses on top of a cloche and we're gonna see how it balances by poor,

what are down them. Yes, and the sale, and this one, I don't know if we're gonna get anchor drama yet, but we definitely get sale drama. Sales drama, big drama. Sales drama, big drama. You have to get the sale up in a certain way so it doesn't come off the track and then blah, blah, blah.

So everyone's like, who the sale? So that's the big deal in this show but they get the sale going up and then we get the music it was like BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM You can feel the boat vibrating as it catches speed. It's what she's meant to do. Like, I was just annoyed me. It's like he's even mamp-splaining to the boat. You know, that's what she's supposed to do. It's like the boat, no, sailboat's been around longer than you, Paget. Yeah, stop talking like you're in Mastering Commander, OK?

You put a sail up. So then the ice maker draw my Adam's like, uh oh, let's see, she's on the ground. It's ice maker, it's feeding it water, but we're tilting so it can't freeze. Yeah. And then also there is a small moment where Georgia is like kind of cracking medicines back. Madison's like, I just can you like,

can you like crack that back back? So she starts like crack her back and Sierra pokes in and goes, hey girls, you need to check cabins. Like, okay, you know what, Sierra, you are not in the interior and I've had enough of you. So go back upstairs. Yeah, Sierra, this is not your department right now. So go away. Go away. And

Jenna is going to kick your ass, by the way. So then Madison, she's like, oh my God, I'm like an energizer, buddy. I've always been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I think it's because I was in a competitive ice skater. What? I know. Why? Who gave her the mad labs, you know, it's like someone put a blank at the end of that sentence, and she put in figure skater, and she had no idea why. And now she realizes, oh, that's what I'm saying about myself. Yeah. So then, let's see, the Jenner, the Jenner chef, Jenner, the chef, or Jenna, and the chef, we're talking about dinner and dinner time and blah,

blah, blah. So then Byron and Captain Byron comes up into the captain into the wheelhouse and he's like, aren't you supposed to be driving? And the captain's like, no, it's an autonomous mode. Okay, this captain is two laks. Well, I just imagine page up on the deck, me like, I love the hum in the bird when the boat catches speed. And you can feel the power in the captain's hand. No, it's in autonomous mode. That's it. Just in autonomous mode. Yeah. So then lunch, they the guests ask for the hot tub. And don't don't the strength. See if we can get this hot tub working. And while I want them all, they're figuring out the mysteries of the hot tub and it's elaborate on off feature. Jenna, Jenna

like walks up to the gas and goes, you were all wonderful, charter guests. I mean, we are so happy to have you. You're so so lovely. Madison, we're the fuck are my knives. Anyway, we're so happy you're having fun. And the mom's like, yeah, wait until you meet our friends from Craigslist, their terrible human beings. Have fun with that. Yeah, we met them at the casting office and Dallas and it'll be fun. So yeah, Jen's looking all over for steak knives and she can't find them. So she's like, Patrick, Patrick, Jenna, Patrick, Patrick, Jenna. Um, wondering what the temperature is on that hot tub, you steak, and I free asshole. Okay, what was that? And Patrick's like, uh, well, uh,

anything that goes wrong with this bonus on me, it's embarrassing. I just can't get it to work. So he's trying and then Byron is like, dude, it's the on-off button, which just goes to show the my theory is correct It's more it's more evidence towards my theory that this is the least romantic relationship by Frank You've been living on this boat offseason the entire time and didn't know how to work a hot tub Yeah, that's actually I think that's a great that is a great piece of evidence

Also, I feel like the new June June Hannah Hannah is going to be Byron, Byron, Page, Byron, Byron, Page. Chakuzi won his cold. So yeah, Byron, I like Byron because he got on the he got on the CB radio and said, just so you know, there's a switch that's called Heeda. It could be turned off. It could be turned on and off. But then we just start snapping at him. Janus, like the crew on this boat had nothing done and embarrassing. And I still have to stand there, like a good stew with their hands behind her back like a good little trooper. Sweet surrender.

So then Pajit is, then Pajit informed informed us about the the donkey dick, which is like the slip that the sale has to go through to go up and down to keep it on the on the rail and that if the sale comes out of the donkey dick, it's it's like annoying and it's just an annoying thing. And guess what? The sale came out of the donkey dick. I mean, what sort of donkey dick is this if the sale can come out of it, you know? And then cut to the captain. He's like, God, getting it up is the most critical thing. So funny. The captain keeps walking into sex jokes. Yeah. And well, the point is that ultimately the sale is misaligned with the donkey dick,

but Glenn does not want to fix it because he doesn't like to fix things in front of guests, you know. So I'm just going to keep it down for the rest of the charter, which I feel like is going to be like come back to haunt us. I don't know. This was a sale boat. Yeah, well, I guess we're not going sideways anymore. Thanks a lot. Well, I think he just means like maybe tomorrow while they're doing swimming or something, you know, while they're off the boat, like on on my hand doing a, if they do that on the show, I don't know. If Sierra will even allow them, guys, I don't think you should go swimming.

I think that maybe should just stay on the boat. Thanks, mom. So Jen and Adam are kind of flirting. Well, Jen is trying to flirt with Adam. And she's like, so were you married? I was married before. He's like, yeah, it didn't be the goodest plant. What happened?

He's like, yadding, she's like, yeah, I've been in a lot of relationships too. And you know, they've been all basically unhealthy, but I think I was just with the wrong people. But you, you look like the right sort of guy, is that, is that Van I smell? Ha. God, you smell like one of those Christmas tree You look like the right sort of guy is that? Is that Van I smell? Ha God you smell like one of those

Christmas tree things that hangs from mirrors. He's like yeah Am I am I detecting a little bit of uh fake Cow hide that was bought at the side of the road to go over your car seat. Is that what I'm getting? Ha Who be thes spare tire. What will you? So Glenn is helping. So that the stews are like dealing with a drawer because there's like a, but the drawers, as you were talking about before, like there is a fancy contraption known as a pole or a bolt that is supposed to drop it in through several holes to make sure that the drawers don't

open when the show goes on its side. The girls can't figure it out. So Glenn walks by and is like, oh, you guys need some help. You just have to take this, you just have to put it in the hole like that. And Georgia goes, it's not the Kips first time I'm He's like yeah, just shove it in there shove it in there and they're cracking up They're dying and she like she actually puts her hands like over her head because you can tell she's like

I can't believe I just said that to the captain and he's like all right. You're just gonna shove it in here. It's just get that get that pull in the hole. Am I right girls? Hold on the whole. You know, sometimes it's like getting us a lot of me through a key hole, but you just got to do it, girls. Right. If you have any problems, loop it up. And if you can't do it, call Byron.

He'll get it up for you. Yeah. I'm there. Just carrying on the floor. Yeah. Sometimes you just have to massage it a little bit, you know? So now the... helicopter, right?

If you have any problems with this, we can around like a helicopter. I know it's a different piece of transportation. Just go with me on this. So for dinner, there's going to be steak and it's time to set the table. And Jenna cannot find steak knives. So Jenna is furious. And so she marches up to Sierra and she's like, um, hi, boat person. Yes.

Have you previously had steak knives on board or you're just like a total idiot and don't have them available to us? And Sierra is like, um, not that I know, I'm out. I'm Jenna is so pissed. She's like, so how does this possible crew who's been a living on this boat? Not think on charter, we're gonna need a basex. Yeah.

And I was also mad to be honest, because you know me, you know I'm basically Jenna, by the way, Ronnie knows this because we traveled together. I'm basically Jenna. How do they not have the basics? Sossie's like, I'm right here, but that is a real question, you know, it's like steak knives, you know, you're like, I'm being such a bitch. I'm like, no, you're really just asking for toilet paper next to it, you know, in the end of the day. We don't have that either. Yeah, you know, so Adams like, what a disaster serving like this and fine dining is so embarrassing.

Okay, calm down over there. So Jenna has to, I know, right? So Jenna has to like go over to Adam and be like, well, guess what? The creepy boat people that don't even have to stake knives. And he be like, well, guess what? The creepy boat people, they don't even have steak knives. And he's like, well, it is what it is. She's it's savage. I'm like, okay, everyone relax. They start laughing.

So then guess what the big ending is. She found some steak knives. Do you give credit to anybody that they actually did have steak knives? No, but they were the crew steak knives. They're like Ikea brand steak knives, you know, where they're like oddly shaped and don't really cut to steak But they look like they do So then Georgia is teaching oh no Georgia is being taught by I'm an energizer bunny Madison to fold napkins and she's like I'm going to make you teach me so much

You'll hide my body into this. I'm gonna be rash. I'm gonna be a rash dude Yeah, she says I've looked I never had a teacher before Hi, my ball of the end of this. I'm gonna be rash. I'm gonna be a rash dude. Yeah, she says, I've never had a teacher before. I've learned everything I have from Pinterest and YouTube tutorials. I'm like, I love how this woman speaks in such a class or fake classy way. Like, she's like a faux Olivia Coleman,

but she knows nothing. I love that she, because you know, I've been the only college I've ever been to is YouTube University. I learned a lot of stuff incorrectly. I'm not gonna lie, you know, but I do learn a lot of stuff from YouTube. I thought it was so cute that she says I learned everything I've known about yachting from YouTube. I mean being a third stew and yachting is like laundry, refilling a water glass. And I just love that there are tutorials like that on to, you know? She's like trying to put like blush onto the yacht.

Like, no, that makeup tutorial does not apply to this yacht. She's like, why are you threading the anchor? Why? So anyway, so now meanwhile upstairs the tender is arriving and with the two guests and so they show up and they come on they come on to the boat and they're just immediately awful because the previous guests actually happen perfectly well. They're like normal just like a normal family with a friend named Peyton and they're just nice people and then all of a sudden this guy named guy shows up with Alessia. They're like he's like yeah, baby. Oh

Yeah, and he's got one of those little duck tails fo hawk things It's like everything about him is terrible. It's immediately terrible and his name yeah guy his name is guy guy in a lesia So unless you they they start talking about what happened like we met their own wedding and they you know I think it was Jenna who said it and I agree. She's like, I don't know I heard something about like a wedding and Like Vegas and the president. I don't know what it is Either she said or someone else I'm like yeah, I have no idea what they're talking about. That was pretty funny. They're just her whole thing.

So, yo, we couldn't get married because Luxembourg and then the president was there in Las Vegas and that squared weight, what? You know, a professional figure skater. So, yeah, oh, that poor girl. It's like, maybe it's because I'm a professional figure skater. That's why. So, let's was like, give us the talk. I give us the talk, guys. Like, yeah, turn the music up. God. So, I guess they're going to get married on the boat or something. I don't know. Glenn looks terrified because they're suggesting that Glenn could do the wedding, and he goes, he just tells us he goes, oh my god, what's going on with these people.

I feel like Glenn has never seen reality TV. Someone said, hey, you know, it's just a fun time. It's a docu series. Glenn was looking for, yeah, exactly. You know his whole plan for the evening was, well, I'm just gonna sit back and listen to some Simon and Garfunkel and tell stories to Byron about some nature walks. And now this is happening. Gosh, we go from playing an innocent game of, if you take my keys out of the bowl, then I have to tell you the scariest thing I ever ate when I was camping.

Uh, fun. I enjoyed it. Yeah, that was a very fun first episode, surprisingly so. I didn't... that's like, does that mean... That's a pretty stupid... As as I do everything you know I'm literally like that with every single thing it's a diagonal TV show what could not be fun about it and I loved it so yeah we'll be back at some point to talk about it I mean there's an onslaught of Brabosha's now real housewives of Atlanta comes back this week after two week break then we've got shots sunset then

we've got we got the blood like reunions We reunions... That's a lot. It's a lot. I mean, you still have probably, yeah, probably, you mentioned we get project runways still hanging around, so we have some... We have a lot of shows we have to cover and not enough time. We're gonna try to work it out and try to spread the love to all the shows as much as we can, but bear with us until this overlap, sort of, until we get through the overlap and we get back to normal schedule. Yeah, we'll definitely be here talking about Satsang. That's it. We sure love you guys.

Go to watchocrappens.com for all that stuff. And we'll talk to you later. Bye, everyone. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.