Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: The Got It Witch Trials

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

Below Deck's deck crew teams up to rid the boat of Rhylee, and Kevin takes revenge on a picky guest by doing a better job. To hear our two part Top Chef AllStars preview and end of year Mailbag bonuses, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. *** Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Detroit, Columbus, Austin (late show added!), Houston, NOLA, Birmingham, NOLA, Lawrence KS, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors!

The Bay Area Betches! Betches! You're the Wyndham beneath our wings, Joe Wyndham. Oops, she did it again, it's Britney Montana. Heron McNickolas! She don't miss no trickle-ists. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itch-als! Hava-Nigila Weber! Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good.

She makes us squee- it's richy-dee. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. One day your Rachel's in, and the next day you're out. Sip some scotch with Jessica Troch. Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Perez. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird. Just saying okay. Christy Wawardy-Dawardy. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go Hylow. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson! And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi! She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie! Let's take off with Tamala Plane! Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey! Yes we should with Carrie Bridgewood! Lordus, the Lordus of the Rings!

Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthewsisters! Give him hell, Miss Noel! Kelly Stump, the Stump Master. Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. No one can do it like Andrea do it. Yes, we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Somebody get us ten CCs of Betsy MD. Nancy Cicin Desisto. We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! A podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on yo bros.

I'm Ronnie Caron. You can also find me over on the Rose Pricks Bachelor Roost, which had a very fun start this week. So go check that out. And here I am with my co-host and little bestie, Mr. Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. How they're being... Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. It's below deck. It's always good day when it's below deck day. Ben, I know. Ain't that the truth, right? Sure he is. We're going to be traveling a lot for this, uh, this

year of our little crap and it just keeps going. We are going to start in Los Angeles for the 2020 golden crappies in a week or so. So go vote for the golden crappies. Those nominations have been posted for like a day and there's already like thousands of votes. 9,000 votes already. And last year we had 11,000 over the course of a month and 9,000 in one day, which is amazing. Yeah, we're very excited. So go keep, go vote if you haven't done that yet.

That is going to be shaping up to be a really fun show. It's sold out. So thanks to everybody who bought tickets. We are psyched to see you over there. Right after the crappies, we are going gonna be going to these cities everybody so listen for your city Detroit Columbus Austin Houston Birmingham New Orleans Kansas City or Lawrence fucking Kansas if you will Omaha Nebraska Salt Lake City Vancouver Orlando Charleston Oklahoma City specifically as Bre Park New Jersey Washington DC sand fran and Boston melts at two suits get your tickets at watch at crappens.com there's a schedule there that's also the link to find voting for the crappies you can find a link to our patreon which is where you get bonuses and crappens on to man

videos which are soups fun this week we're gonna be doing a real house I have something haven't decided yet. I think Jersey and Vanderpromp rules premiere tomorrow. Yeah. Go check those out everywhere. Well, they. And I think that's that that's that for that. Bam.

I know that's I mean, we got a big episode below Dr. Disgust so big that you know what I did, Ronnie. I got myself some coffee from Tiago. Talk about a throwback. Remember my Tiago coffee days? Uh oh, here comes Cracket. Tiago is a, was a, in my old apartment, it was like the local coffee shop and it had just like jet fuel in a cup. And I got some jet fuel in a cup today for below deck. And I'm really excited. Obviously we we were off last week so we didn't recap last week's episode For me, I think the highlight was that

Madison from Gwyn's on southern charm was is one of the charter guests and she would not eat a cheese pizza and the pizza had to be sent back like three times like Does this have cheese on it? I was like, wow, Madison revealing a whole other side to herself once she's on a yacht. Yeah, I actually, that's funny that you even remember that. I mean, I know it was just last week and I should remember it, but Madison makes

about as much impact on this show as she does on that show. Like, wow, thanks for coming by Madison. You paid for this, like, wow, thanks for coming by, Madison. You paid for this, like, say something, do something. She also managed to, like, source, like, all of Southern, Southern, Southern, South Carolina is bronzer for this vacation. I mean, like, she is just, like, she looks like a piece of wood. She has so much bronzer on right now. And I mean, like, a lot of contouring. Yeah, she just is, like much bronzer on right now. And I mean like, yeah, a lot of contouring.

Yeah, she just is like out of control right now. I'm like, those poor fish when she jumps in the water, you know, like how like, I mean, it's bad enough that they have yacht fuel that's just like spewing out into their homes, but now they've got like Madison bronzer too. I know. All the fish people catch are going to be, you know, covered. It's going to look like an oil sludge or whatever. Like the BP just exploded again. The other thing that was really funny from last week, which I had completely forgotten about, because by the way, I should mention that I've watched this episode

at 2am on New Year's Day. As in, it was New Year's Eve, party, got drunk. There were some people that were over here in this apartment, and then basically at two or three in the morning, we turned on below deck and watched it drunk. So that's why I don't remember a lot of it, but one of the things that I had totally forgot about until this episode was that there was this girl. What's her name again, Jamie? Who is like got this little like Shannon Bedore hat,

Shannon Bedore on volleyball day hat from two seasons ago. And she will not share her bed and everyone hates her. Like everyone on the boat hates her. And I forgot about that. And I was like, I forgot that there's someone that everyone hates. This is the best. Yeah, she is very sad, Amy, from Gallery Girls. Yeah, she is. That's exactly who she is.

Actually, I have, this is from our friend Gina Raguse over at Showbiz Cheat Sheets. She writes a bunch of bravo stuff. And actually, it's written by Jamie because Jamie is Jamie and she wrote her own her own post and I'm trying to find it here. I mean she didn't write it for Gina. So Gina's just reporting on her post that she made, you know, whatever. So where is this here? Cameras follow below deck fans below deck guests explains what really happened with the room arrangements. Oh, so the speech. Yeah, so on the't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don and say, yeah, take your own room and this poor girl has to sleep on the couch and captain Lee was like, well, that is bullshit. I will take the couch instead because she'll be, it's not dead just because it season seven or below deck, right?

Right. Yeah. So basically they have to clean out all of Captain Lee's room and move him into the sky lounge. That way this other girl can sleep in the sky lounge and captain Lee's like, what the shit- the f- the f- the f- the f- the now what a the move of the f- the f-

the c-want and she said uh... wait this is jamey right stone stone says she had only met Taylor god who's the uh... jamey stones stones

i'm sorry guys and so i thought this was going to be, oh, Jamie is stone, Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone was on below deck. She showed her beaver shot in the very beginning of basic instinct. And they brought a Commodo dragon and a bit her husband all over again. So Jamie shared on Twitter that she had only met Taylor and most of the group on the vacation because that's how it rolls. They, none of them really knew each other. So they all paid separately, I guess, and got grouped in by casting to go on this thing, right?

I thought that she was the cousin of the primary, maybe not. Well, she said that she had only met Taylor right now, most of the group. And she said, I think it's great that some people can instantly feel comfortable with others in what is meant to be a safe place, such as the place you sleep at night. But I have boundaries, and whereas I'm sure Lauren is a great person, I met her literally right before we got on the boat, and it takes me time to get to know someone I feel comfortable with. And to attack my personal sense of safety and comfort feels unfair to me, especially after seeing maybe 10 minutes of me on a reality TV show. Had a good time on the show and Bravo and the producers voluntarily offered me in my own room weeks ahead of the chat.

I like how she is slowly turning into Cartman in your impersonation of her, because that's sort of how she is. Yeah, horrible people turn into Cartman, you know. It's like, I'm a Barney. I mean, I get it. If you're paying money to have your own room, I would also not really want to share it.

But yeah, it's sort of a dick thing to do. Definitely a dick thing to do though, to make someone just sleep on a couch. If they paid, if they also paid for a bed, I mean, I don't know where you draw the line. It was everyone else sharing a bed, is that the deal and Jamie the other one? So basically, they all.

Yeah, well, one of the other, I think the other girl was saying that they were given a layout of the boat And there were more bedrooms in this layout that they all received But one of the bedrooms is used for crew because the crew you know, they have like a They have camp a camera room where the producers are sitting there watching all this footage unfold and working their asses off So it's not a bedroom and so I guess they just than working their asses off. So it's not a bedroom. And so I guess they just figured they'd have a bedroom or it was this cooked up by production so that there would be a fight over it.

But either way, Jamie's like, I get that I'm not wanting to share a room, but if you're the one who's refusing to share a room, then you should sleep on the couch. That's a really good point. That's a really good point actually. And you know what? I think that's the answer that she should have been on the couch then. If she's not going to share. I'll say that. No, that was a great point. That's a really good point actually and you know what I think that's the answer that she should have been on the couch then if she's not going to share. I'll say that. No that was a good that's a great point. That's what I was like okay you want your own bed. Then you get your own bed because what you wish for bitch. Get your own bed. Rude. Rade is the captain now captain Ray.

Have you carried it for Bob Ebo? No the other thing, I mean, there was actually a lot of hilarious stuff going on with this charter, and I'm sad that they were such a short charter because I would have loved to have had this crew stuck with them for like two or three days. But there's a girl on the on the on the charter who sort of looks like what's her name,

Ray Leah, what's her name, Leah? What, the glee girl? Leah Michelle. Oh, Leah Michelle, good call. So she's like a little Leah Michelle with a touch of Naomi, which makes sense because she's from Charleston. And imagine if it's like Naomi's sister or something,

but she is a professional chef. And so basically the first night, Kevin serves this group, Motsubal Soup, and then there was like that pizza situation because the primary was like, I really like Motsubal Soup. So everyone's like, this is like sort of basic food. So Liam Michelle is like, chef to chef, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna like tell him to make a more upscale. So she goes and she tells Kevin, she's like, Hey, I'm a chef.

And you know what, a chef to chef, like maybe like be a little more upscale tonight. And I understand why it shaped him the wrong way, but at the same time, she's still a guest and he was so obnoxious about it. And that's pretty much where the episode picks up. It's like her saying. He was such an asshole about the men on this show. Just I'm so done with the man just making an end. Yeah, they are. They are so, so awful. Yeah, she goes, um,

chef to chef, you should probably go more upscale tonight, which again, yeah, it is sort of a sort of an Adam knock just thing to thing, but thing to say, but I think she was just trying to be like, listen, I don't want to get you in trouble, but I'm telling you, everyone wants something more upscale. So rather than like this, have been issue, really getting in trouble with your boss, I'm giving you a heads up right now, you know? And he was so mean. And I don't think she was really trying to help. I think she was being a snot face too.

Like, I'm a staff and I did like her up because he looks he he was like, oh yeah, but she flake bag isn't take pages of the one Instagram or whatever. So I looked it up on Instagram and she went to culinary school. Um, and she doesn't have any restaurant experience or anything like that, but still she you're right. She's a guest and you don't talk to guests out there. Like what a prayer. And whether you're a chef or not a chef, if someone says like, people who are not chefs are allowed to demand more upscale food on the yacht, you know, like, or like it's like, it's not only, which then that cuts both ways,

like her being like a chef to chef, like it doesn't care if it's chef to chef. You say, okay, can we get something more upscale tonight? Like that was fun last night, but we want something more up scale. You know, so like she could have been like that, but also for him to be like, she thinks she's a chef, she just flips burgers and takes pictures of it. Excuse me, sir.

You think we didn't like sit and what we didn't sit and watch a scene of you taking pictures of your own food? Yes. And you don't make up scale food most of the time. Like let's face it, you sent out burnt burnt pancakes later in this episode Which I'm sure you noticed been And I was like really are gonna send out like a black pancakes right now on this episode Yeah, and so he's like really mad and he's like hey wait, so so she says I mean people are like talking about your food behind your back so and

I mean, people are like talking about your food and behind your back. So and and Kevin's like, well, Nicole was super happy, but everyone was like, we're having pizza. Oh, I guess I'm sorry, she said she said Nick, the primary was happy, but everyone else was kind of like, um, it's pizza and mozzarella soup. We didn't pay $10,000 each for pizza and mozzarella soup. And I'll see. I would kind of agree. Yeah. And he's like, well, as long as it's fine with the broad air, I'm going to blow it in the boat.

You know what they, you know what they, and she's like, yeah, and I'm looking out for you. And he's like, yeah, but I don't need to look it after, because I'm an employee of the boat. You know what I'm about, you know what I'm about. And then he does this just like, open mouth like, bunny toothed, just like a dumb bunny. Like a dumb founded bunny dumb a dumb bunny a dumb the one from water ship down that everyone wants to get caught like can we kick him out of the barrel please yeah he does that for the rest of the episode and she says oh okay yeah then okay, because okay cool then all right

And he also does a thing with his hands too. He like flops out his hands in a way to be like I have no pennies in my pockets Or in my hands. I'm sorry Yeah dumb penniless bunny bunny dumbfounded bunny pennies dumbheaded bunny face So he's like shift to shift, just think you can get fucker south. You know what, sir, relax. Okay, relax, because that is, by the way, that is a guess. And like you giving her attitude could fuck up the tip for everyone. Yeah, this guy's the total ass.

Because guess what she does? She just goes back to all the other guests and it's like, oh my god, I told him and he was like really annoyed. And they're all like laughing at a blinds back and they're like, the chef, you know. Yeah. And she's like, I was just saying that I'm our upscale. It's like, yeah, you're obnoxious too, but to try, you're only getting off on this one because he's more obnoxious than you. But you're still obnoxious. It's true. It's true. Very important point that I hope

everyone really listened to. She is still obnoxious, but she's getting off because he's more obnoxious. So then, I don't even know why I wrote this down. Literally nothing happened. There was a shot of Courtney. For me, it's just a little white dishes. Little white, I wrote it down also. She doesn't even say a word. Nothing happened.

It's just like a quick shot of Courtney washing little square dishes. And I was like, I could just imagine what was going on in her head at that moment like who wants small square dishes like these are so stupid like what like if we can do a saucer it should be circular not square I was cracking out that I wrote that bad too so then the deck crew is talking on the stairs and ashes like what they're just basically planning a beach picnic There's a lot of that in this episode particularly this episode Like now it looks like they're doing so they're getting on the tender and they're on the beach and now they're back on the tender

And then they're cleaning and then they're doing a dish I'm writing all of this at Vanderpomper Vanderpomped like director's commentary. So, now Kevin's making sushi. And then he's like complaining to Courtney about what Justin said. And he's like, you know, he's like, I mean, I hate his straight thing. So he's, you know, she have to shave, she have to shave, and Courtney just looks at him and goes, you're really spiraling.

And he tells us, well, I put all the plays in Bid and Bid, and I'll take it first, or this overprivileged kid doesn't know where I come from, a how hard I work, daddy. Chicken fuck off, ta ta ta. I made it special for you, daddy. And all I thought I was being a skill for you, daddy.

I love this bitter fucking chef who hates privileged people when he works on yachts. I know, that's what I'm saying. She's a privileged kid, get off the yacht. What do you think you're gonna, who do you think you're gonna be working for? Okay, and by the way, she doesn't, she doesn't have to know where you came from.

She doesn't know where I've come from, what I've done. She doesn't have to, she's a guest. She paid money, okay? Yeah. So where you came from is serving up some fucking like, uni with caviar on top of a rare clam, sir. Yeah, like every sad story of underprivileged, you know, abused youth ends with making matabal soup. But everybody just loves because your, you know, your dad was mean to you once. I don't know. That's the best part was him.

When you say that, because he puts a little bit of himself in every plate. And so for someone to reject that, he takes it very personally. It's like, I love just like how his family trauma just seeps out in every corner of his career. Like like like when you were joking about the daddy thing, that was the very first thing I thought of when he said that was like daddy rejecting him as a kid. Yeah, no, Baker, you're going to be a line chef. Kevin, you're not good enough to be on the Titanic, even if it didn't make it back to put. Now you know what we call your iceberg, kid. Put now you know what we call your iceberg kid

Hey make another monster ball iceberg. Hey look at him. Look at icebergs Motsable more like a monster peg why do you make a peg shape iceberg? So he's asking Courtney's like do you think they like creep to eat the sushi? She goes um no dairy And he's like fuck these people Fuck these people daddy Daddy doesn't like the early daddy doesn't like the early daddy doesn't like the early Mm-hmm by the way best sushi in the world has cream cheese in it. I mean Every the best best food in the world that's cream cheese in it. Okay, let's not let's not limit it to sushi Like literally like I would take it all back.

I would be on Kevin's side. If you serve like a little side of cream cheese with that monster ball, but be like, Justine, you take a seat. Okay, he gave you cream cheese. Yes, the name Charleston. Yes, it is Charleston. Go take it to Nico.

So then the running through line of this episode is that Simone has really improved because she's passing out waters to people. I know. I was like, look at Simone. Wow. She's, she's, look, she's giving waters. Oh, well, she put that water on someone's shoulder.

So she's getting close. She's getting better. She just like cream cheese on a bottle of water. We got some. All right. No, Simone, that's not a bigel. That is actually justine sunglasses. You should probably clean off that smear of Philadelphia. You put on it.

So she's passing water. It's like everyone else good. And what are the guys guys? She is incredible. So the guys are happy. And then meanwhile Kate, one thing that also happened last week. So last week, Riley, after like a season and a half, finally gets to take guest fishing. Okay. And Ashen is like, I'm gonna let you do this one, Riley. So she leads the leads this, they go out on a boat together.

And they find an area that looks good. they try to fish there but it's actually a protected area, it brings a lot of fish. And so then they just sort of, they run out of time or they go somewhere else, there's no fishing and ultimately they have to go back empty handed. And so, Ashton obnoxiously goes up to Captain Lee because also what's happening is that now that the deck hands are talking about that they'd be willing to go into the last two charters without like without Riley, like a man down. So Asher goes up to Captain Lee and while Kate is there in the wheelhouse and it's like, Captain Lee, I just wanted to let you know that, you know, Rory Lee took everyone fishing

but she didn't do the research and it was in legal place and like just I think it would be better if she did some research in the future, you know, she's not that good, she's so, she's terrible. It was like such a good, a really petty move. Yeah. And so now Kate goes and tells Riley about everything that happened. Yeah, it's such a little tattle-telling move and Kate's just sitting there listening to the whole thing.

Like, how stupid are you, Ashton? You know? Come on. That's like her, that's her, her bunk, her bunk bed made. And even though I mean, I'm jumping ahead a little bit, like, I do sort of agree that it probably, it probably is poor form for like, you know, if it's, if there's a conversation between the captain and two department heads, it's like, it's sort of poor form for a Kate to go tell someone in the Ashton's apartment department about what he said and sort

of a privileged sort of meeting space. At the same time, it's kind of like, but Ashen, you were like turned into a huge fucker the second half of the season. So, Well, Ashton hadn't been trying to like fuck his deckhand and, you know, beat up another one in a car, both women. I probably like you show that like worry more about the professional wasn't the professionalism of that. But I kind of got out the window. Yeah. The broken window that was destroyed by his fist. Yeah. And also, you know, I think Kate has a point. Well, I think the reason that she's doing this is because he's obviously all the boys are

just anti-rily for whatever reason and they're trying to get rid of her. And it's like how long do the boys get to treat the girls like shit? Right? Yeah, I think that's something. She's like, if I don't do anything, then if I do something in front of the captain, it's going to look like I'm starting a fight with Ashton. You know, if I say something to Ashton, he's going to just treat me like an idiot and ignore me. And Riley has it right to know that she's about to be made a full of on national television because she's my friend, you know. Yeah, well, and also that gets

certain point, professionals and maybe sometimes takes a back seat, like, or I should say, professionals sort of like, not professionalism, but sort of like professional channels takes a back seat to just like human compassion and be like, they are trying, he's trying to fuck you out of a job, right? And and like I'm looking out for you because these guys have like a voice club. Right. And of course it's self-interest too because Kate's doing this because she hates Ashton.

Yeah, and then there's that. And then it's also that she's Kate. Yeah. So then the captain is in the kitchen. He's like, I gave up my room. And Courtney's like, I cannot believe that girl. Also, tiny square plates. Like, it's like I can not believe that girl also tiny square plates like I don't blame her this the attitude of a spoiled brat you know if I was a primary she

would have taken what she got and her got my god damn no baby sitting club boat they cut to this Jamie girl and they're like everyone's like out on the deck and they're having fun and she's just like sort of sitting in the shadows with her little hat and just like, overheating quietly in the corner. Like a little robot that's like, you know, needs to be tended to. Yeah, and then it cuts back to the captain going, what a CUNX Tuesday.

And I was like, that is offensive as hell. They're cold-cut fitnises. I didn't hear him say that. I missed that. Wow. It's Tuesday. It's like, whoa. And Courtney just cracks up and I was like, wow, that's.

So meanwhile, Brian and Riley are up on the deck. Once again, like, recreating a scene from an Edward Alpe play where she's like, um, so like, how do I, how do I unfurl that? And he's like, in the same as always, because well, I wasn't up here when you set it up. He's like, Jesus Christ. So once again, they get into a fight over like how to like take a zip, like unzip something or unlatch something or untie something as usual.

It's an attitude. It's an attitude. I just didn't understand where it's going to be like that. It's an attitude that, how do't understand where it's going to be like that. It's an attitude that hold had what I helped you think what a bitch And so then they keep working. You're like, um, what can I do to help you and they just ignore her and I was like God What a horrible monster Riley is trying to help you lower up cool into the sea. I know Got it Got it. I sort of got every time I see got it,

like it's on every notification. I never realized how it's on so many notifications, but like it always says got it everywhere. Everything on Google, and whenever we do a cameo, whenever we finish it, it goes, got it. I'm like, jeez, Riley, I didn't know you were standing there. I like how everybody starts changing their thing because they don't want to sound like the other things.

Like Siri, she doesn't say got it, but she doesn't wanna be like Alexa. I mean, Boris, so would you go, hey Siri, she goes, mm-hmm. Oh. No. No, it dropped Siri while she was eating a piece of tuna fish. Like what's happening?

So weird, is it used to ple- ple- ple- to be like Alexa would do, but now she's like, hmm, hmm. Okay, let me see if I can do it. Let's do it live on the air. Let's do it. Okay. Come on. Hey Siri. Siri.

I'm not sure I understand. Uh-huh. Oh, there. Yeah, I heard that. I was like, I don't understand. My arm was just pretending like, like you say it again, please Hey Siri You need to update your phone

Okay, Siri why don't you say mm-hmm the way Ronnie's Siri does I Don't understand. Siri, why don't you sit on the way when he Siri does? No. But I can search the west. Siri thought I actually mentioned real house was in New York. That was her text. Siri, why don't you runie? I was like, oh gosh. My Siri. Oh, she didn't do it this time. Hey Siri. Yes. I won't respond to that. Hey, Siri. Got it. You're easy to get.

Oh, excuse me. I was hoping she got it. Okay, you know what? Siri. He's a serious day all day. Yeah, every update apple, really. I want to buy me.

I want to, I want to do like Ily. Hey, Riley, what? Can you tell me what time, uh what Can you tell me what time? Can you tell me what time on cut gems is playing? How do I do that? Can you just look up the show times if you show me Just like just look at the directory. Oh, I'm supposed to look at the directory. How about you show me how to look at the directory It's just it's right there. Oh, oh, it's right there. It's right there. Okay. You know what?

How about you go look and see what's right there if it's that easy. Okay. Got it. Got it. Hey, hey Riley. What? Um, why did you take me to the wrong location and the maps? How was I supposed to know? Did you take me to the wrong location and the maps? How was I supposed to know? Wow. Hey, Riley, what restaurants are open right now? Do you want a paleo restaurant?

No, I just, just like a time to express my, oh, I just want to get a paleo option though. No, I know you do, but I'm looking for Chinese. So suddenly I can't ask for a paleo restaurant. Riley, you're the digital, you can't even eat. You're like not even a real person. Oh, I'm not a real person. What's that supposed to mean?

It's the way of the vibe of the vote. It's the way of the vibe of the vote. I've been repeating that all day. The way of the vibe of the vote. Okay, point is, we're on a boat right now. Okay. The point is, there's a girl in the shadows with a big hat who's unhappy and sitting cross like him. So Ashton is talking to Ashton passes Kate or something and she's like, I don't hate Ashton, I just don't respect him.

I've never had a bowson try to punch out a window in a fit of anger and rage, but if I didn't do the job every time I didn't like someone, I'd be unemployed. Yeah, basically. So now they're like prepping for the beach picnic and then beach prep and things go into the tender and everything and tends to go up and the table's being set and then Madison is jumping into the ocean and spreading bronzer onto all the two little starfish and jellyfish and anglerfish out there and it's fun. Yeah. So Kevin's like someone asked for a Kate as was it Kevin who asked if he say where's Kate boo boo? Oh, he was saying where's Kate boo boo? I think talking to Courtney. I thought he was calling Kate boo boo and I was like wait a minute. What is going on here? The Courtney is like, please don't talk to me. I'm still trying to process the fact that we have tiny square plates, tiny square plates, just really

really doesn't make sense. Not that kind of like. So she's like, well, Kate is setting up at the beach, and then Simone's gonna go over there and meet her with food, and Simone's like, M-R-I? Oh, okay. I see. She's like, Kate is really disorganized. She's just very, very disorganized,

and then she falls down the stairs with the cream cheese. She starts ironing a shirt with a bottle of water. She's ironing the cream cheese. She starts ironing a shirt with a bottle of water. She's ironing the cream cheese with her elbow. Simone did you iron cream cheese on to the captain's outfit again? Yes I did although look nice. Okay. So then we get a scene of Simone passing out water again. Oh So then the guests are on the tender and they invite they're like captain we're gonna be back soon You're gonna join us for dinner. He's like god damn it. Yeah, I hope you have a TV traces. I'm sleeping on a goddamn couch commercial It's time for commercial. It's time for a crack. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yet. And then they get on the boat and then some of the girls like the Molly is like a model

supposedly I guess for twins maybe. And so she is like she has to go and sit next to Ashton and Ashton is like, oh, Molly is an absolute cracker. She's a total cracker. I was like, I think cracker for you means something different than for Americans. So he's a real cracker. I'm not going to cross that line, but brush the line. I'm going to brush that cracker. I'm going to go right up to that line. I'm going to try to kiss it and then I'm going to try to punch it. Dean, you want to talk about Bladed Long? It's Cracker. So then on the beach, he's like, oh, beach lunch. Sam and Tuna.

Vegetarian. Hope you all die. Enjoy. So what is the girl that gave the girl who was sleeping on the couch or whatever? Oh, James. She's like, no, no, Jamie's a horrible one. This is the girl who agreed to sing the couch at first. Yeah. She's no one remembers her name. Sorry, lady. And I just read it in a story too. That's what's

called a shaleen. Saline Woodley. Yeah. She had to tell me a small, law. Hey, they didn't have a big little law. Hey, but a small huge law. A small lie that's not in the shape of a square. I mean, really, we need small square things.

So that girl, she's like, um, wow, the chef is so good. I wonder where he studied. What do you think, Justine? And they just start cracking up. Yeah, justine's like, like, I don't know. I had a very short conversation with him. I think I scared him away.

So then Brian Ashton are talking about Riley. And Brian's like, she just doesn't listen, bro. She just doesn't listen. She doesn't listen, bro. You're sure they're seeing her try to put down her. I pulled into the water when I was doing it, bro. Yeah, and Ashton's like, yeah, there's such a cool void between you and me and Tana brew such a cool vibe I'm like oh like you realize you're literally being a boys club right now like it like you're doing the definition of it

Yeah, it's like girls a Chris brew So then Riley is talking to court me in the message like I had an aggravating day into court me in the message. I had an aggravating day. I'm like, I'm tired about small square plates. Oh, did you have to watch Chinese square plates also? It's like, I'm supposed to know it's illegal to fish in those waters. And Courtney is like, who is giving you that trouble?

She's like, my crew. And then they cut back to Brian. Like, she's always saying things to me, bro. Like, you're not my bare sin. Yeah, you know, it's draining to have to keep the peace. And now it's both during the crew. I mean, something has to change. I have to fuck someone,

otherwise someone's gonna get fired. Uh, why do I have to work so hard to get my dexooked? So then Ashton is back with the gas. uh... what i have to work so hold to get my dex so yeah then ashden is back with the gas and he's like everyone you want to snorkel they're like not really uh... it you want to contour my face with some heavy bronzer i'm trying to uh... turn into my own presidential bust great

president wins that is i'm taking over for Daddy. So and I've left the story in the hands of Catherine Dennis, my number one employee. It's like, cut to like, career opportunities part two with Catherine locked in Gwins overnight. Where's the episode even go? It makes sense. It all makes sense. It's all tied together. Um, we made references to, did that mannequin just say, um?

Wait, now we're going into mannequin. Oh, yeah. mannequin and career opportunities all makes together. Cause we can build this thing, arm together. Mm. Oh my God, did that mannequin come to life? No, I just was I was just going to the bathroom when they closed the doors and now I don't know how to get out. Is that Messack Taylor?

It is, but that's just because he happens to be a shopper at Gwynns. Nothing more. RIP, Messack. Did you die? Did me? Oh god, did he die did me oh god did he did I just kill me sack Taylor on this is when we call up our digital assistant how old is me sack Taylor said musak Taylor no not musak okay never mind this is gonna be beyond this is beyond Siri. And whoever's calling me right now. Yeah, he passed away in 2014. I thought so I remember it crying. But you know, I remember things weird. Wow. Wow. God loved you, Hollywood. Oh, okay. So, um, let's see here. Where are we doing Kevin? Okay. I thought he put tuna on a stick and I was horrified, but it was water, but it was frozen watermelon So watermelon. Yeah, he put watermelon on a stick and everyone likes it very refreshing

The beach party was a success and then there's like a shot of Tanner trying to kill a fly. He's like Almost got it Almost got it The rest of the time Get my got my dick wet with it. So Kevin's writing food down according to his like, what's for dinner? He's like, I like the gal waltz, you know, the shift to shift. I mean, no cooking on 10- Teflon pad just let it go

okay bye so I did let it go the bomb is falling I'm not that's fucking obnoxious I'm so I'm so glad the season is almost done so we can get the fuck off of the screen I know that's how bad Kevin is that these people have requested no cooking on Teflon pans and we're still on their side. I mean, that's bad. That's bad because we should be mocking them to hold the hell. Totally. Daddy doesn't like Teflon either. Daddy, I was about to say daddy is getting dressed. Part of the guests. So the guests are addressing Ashhton because they're gonna be in models. And I was like, well, I guess if those girls can be models, so can I see them. So there's like, I can't wait for this penny saver spread to come out. Yeah, this high fashion model game.

I know. Oh, I can't wait for this flyer to be scattered across the Las Vegas boulevard sidewalks. How dare you? Those people work very hard. Well, be the people in the flyers. Yeah, that's a very tough industry. You know porn, everyone's like, oh, just do some porn. What average? That is more porn is really competitive.

I didn't mean that they look like porn stars. I was just saying, I was just trying to come up. I was just trying to, on the seat of my pants, come up with something as low level as the Penny saver. But it turns out beyond the fearless flyer, there's really nothing else. Well, look, could you tell I talked to a porn star like one time?

I'm like, wow, what a competitive industry, guys. It's really hard out there. Literally. Literally. Literally. I mean, look, look at David from below, Dexies and one. He's not even any industry anymore because he got phased out. Oh, bless his heart. Um, so the captain, the captain is in the background of the calf dad. There's a funny path to. We've already put Catherine in this show. Patricia's in the back to you like, I know that girl from somewhere. Is it Abraham Lincoln? No. Someone tell us,

book. I'd like another martini, please. I knew his father. We all called to us, but back in the day, it day so good to see him. His great great worked for me. Hey iceberg. I like some olives. It's sweet. Washington give me some chocolate chip cookies, classic iceberg. They actually they thought he was named

iceberg because of his terrible failures leading to his great grandfather's death on the Titanic. But he's really just named after poor people lettuce. Leave it to someone in iceberg when you ask him for a word, she said that you would butter lettuce, classic iceberg. So, uh, yeah, so Ashton is doing this model shoot, and the captain is in the wheelhouse just watching him while he's twirling his radio around like Look at that. God damn it. Look at this goddamn models I was like what the hell kind of model shoot is this as people trying to pretend they're like an Augustines ad with the captain's face behind

I'm going. I know Yeah, what is this big shot for? I mean I didn't ask him so ashton in the middle. His shirt is sort of open. And so he's in the middle of these two girls. And he's like, this Eston's sandwich is going to have some good flavor to it. I'm like, it's going to be like mayonnaise with mayonnaise on wonder bread. Yeah. She's actually almost too flavorful. Yeah. I know. I was like, hmm, that's one of my Mima's favorite things. Man, I know. I know. I started to say it. I was like, hmm, how can I roll that one back?

It's, you know what it is? It's a turkey sandwich. Yeah. Turkey sandwich with no mayo on white bread. You're a real turkey kid. And it's not any sort of like honey glaze turkey. It's just like low sodium turkey. Yeah, it's like that gelatinous low sodium health.

No, it's a little bit of a trick. That's what it is. Turkey says my extensive note on this scene, girls model like idiots, that's what I pay. And then Ashton says, these girls are just like fun. Yeah, you'd expect them because they're models to be stuck up, but these are actually the kind of girls, type of girls I could mix with

and it could actually have something with. I'm like, yeah, until you get drunk and try to punch a window. Yeah, I mean, he can get a BJ out of them. And then the guy is like, okay, guys, make out now. And I was like, be careful what you say on this boat. Just be careful. So downstairs, Courtney is struggling with the ironing board again,

and like Brian walks by, just, wee, and he like comes by and she's like, yes. Thank you. She fell for it. There it happens. She has. And then this would always happen. So when you're like, I'm gonna, you know,

I'm not gonna just give into the hot guy just because he's hot. I'm going to make him work for it for a little while because I'm not just some easy guy. The second you give into them, they're like, I'm cheating on you. Yeah, I know. Wait for next week, Portee. Yeah, everything's great. I finally started to like Brian.

I learned to appreciate ironing after that small dish, Viasco, and life is good. I believe in love again. I believe in a thing called love just over the way. I hate it. So Riley and Kate are in their cabin and Kate's doing her, her hair on the toilet, which you have to probably, but it's just really funny. And so Riley's like, Oh, God, I don't want to lash out. Okay, doesn't take everything to personal Riley.

Well, he goes, I think that personally, Kate. And so that makes a good point, I think I was about to say, you know, it's like they want to have a girl that sucks because like Abby was so bad at her job, but they were so nice to her. Yeah, because she. Yeah, well, because she was like, cool, I didn't make what she didn't like speak up, you know, yeah.

And because I asked him totally wanted to fuck her and so did one of the other guys. Who's the other guy who's after her too? I think Brian originally. Yeah. I think they like Brian and Asher and both like we're leering. They were both going after Courtney and they're both going after Abby I think

Because I think Tanner had his eyes on Kate originally Yeah So Kate's like well, you know, she has a temper, but she's very good at her job. So She's like yeah, I could use her as a stew. You know, she'd be better than Simone. Oh my god. Riley is a stew be amazing I just have visions for like throwing down plates on the table. Yeah, it's Sam and eat it. The captain is in his room looking for a belt through all the little shopping bags that his clothes are in and he is just in the worst mood. He's so unhappy. Yeah. And then meanwhile, so they're all ready for dinner and And the only one who's not there is Jamie, who's still in her room,

but everyone's too scared to knock on the room, because they all hate her and they're scared of her. So they basically ask Courtney to do it. Can you basically knock on her door and just tell her it's dinner? And Courtney has never been happier. She's like, I do love the guest drama. They all hate her. What is petty or they're not sharing a guest bed? And making them sleep in the communal guest space.

I love it. She's like me on a boat. Like that's exactly what I'd be doing. Like, oh my God, yes. So Ashton and Riley are finally having their talk. And Riley's coming out this from like a different place than usual. She's like, just trying to be chill. She's just like, get it.

And she's like, um, have you got it? Have you? Has it been gotten? She's like, today was really shitty for me. Um, and then like, in Kate's words, you were throwing me under the bus, which you know, like let's stick to one transportation thing at a time. That would be great. So then Ash and does this thing where he goes, so Kate came and told you about something that I discussed with Captain Lee, which was his way of being like, I'm going to yell at Kate next. Yes. Yes, she did do that and you are also the one bitching about an employee to all your other employees Mr

Professional by the way yes, yes exactly so By the way, and I kept on feeling like I was too lazy to look it up But wasn't when Kate had the meltdown and was like throwing pants on the floor wasn't actually was like yelling at her about Professionalism right what was the thing? What was the thing he was yelling at? And she was like, you kept in all that or something. It was something where he was accusing her of not being professional and off on the rules, but he also was, I feel like he was also

like crossing a lot of who cares. So Riley, she's, so Riley, as he says, she's like feeling dismissed by the crew and like just take a second to think how it feels to be in my shoes my fishing shoes for the second year my my god, it's my Nike and I like I'm dealing with it and I've been calm and I've been quiet about it and I've been He's like well if it's the second year that this is happening to you, Raleigh, it might be some kind of insecurity within you. It's like, it's not insecurity.

I'm trying to talk to you now, and even now I'm not getting any support from you, even during this conversation. So it got there backwards, figured it out. Yeah. And he's basically like, well, maybe you need to stop for flake because how much of this sort of like insecurities and how much is the rest of the crew. And I think generally, like, you know, when any situation is a conflict, usually it's like, there it does like to like both sides contribute to a certain amount.

And the thing that's interesting is that like really, he gets mad at Riley because he feels like she has no accountability for her contributions to it, but he also is not taking any accountability for his and his cruise side of it. Like, you know, it's kind of funny because like, I mean, Riley has an attitude. She for sure does, you know, but a lot of times she's not without reason. And that's what's not appreciated by these men. Right. Yeah. I mean, Riley just comes at it with the wrong attitude.

I think that that is true. She gets really defensive and got it at everything. And I can see how it's frustrating. But this is supposed to be her boss. And he's sitting there bitching about her with the other employees. He hated her the second she came on, you know, the first and I think was different. You know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Ross was frustrated as hell too. It's not like just becausehton's like a fucking horrible sexual assault or slash sexual, we'll see other sexual horrible things. Well Ross did, but Ross did, but Ross did, but Ross was Riley too. Oh, that's true.

But just because Ashton's been the worst, doesn't mean that, you know, she's always been there. But yeah, Ross's always there. The Ross show either, but Jesus. Ross had Marley fought, but Ross at least, he did like try to impress upon Marley that he did respect her as a person. Like he did like, they would fight, but he would really try to like build that bridge. And I think that she did ultimately respond to that,

but Ashen doesn't. Ashen is just like, he's like, he said like, oh well, you know, I've given you, I've tried to teach you things, and I've tried to involve you in bigger things, which is just like, he's like, he said like, oh, well, you know, I've given you, I've tried to teach you things and I've tried to involve you in bigger things, which is what I played in was last year, but like whatever. But in this, so Riley's like, um, you, I'm talking to you, and you literally have even looked at me this entire conversation got it. And he's like, well, since you've come on the boat, I've been totally tolerant towards you. Just what does that mean, tolerant?

Look, with the attitude, you're probably language, you're well, you two things give something negative vibe, you know, the same boys have a conversation with me, you know, and then you just dismiss them. And she's like, Oh, well, it's not mainstream security is it's 100% the way of the vibe on the boat. It's 100% the way of the vibe on the vote. And so then he six out of yeah. So he's six out of his figure goes, do not raise your voice to me. And she goes, do not point your fucking finger at me.

How about that? It's like conversation is done. So, so then he said that I'm just gonna done. So she's like, so she like stands up and starts to hop away because he goes, excuse me, I'm your superior. Did you not just dismiss me? Got it? He's like, oh, get back here. It's like, what the fuck do you want from me

I stand it's like you were born by keeping lead this behavior don't put your finger at me you didn't keep a fuck you're right I don't give a fuck about yeah go to bed all go down to my quarters yeah wow well this was a good meeting guys. Yeah, good professionalism on both sides great work everyone We all win guess who wins humanity. Yeah, exactly So dinner ready Kevin stepped it up. I love that Kevin is like fuck that bitch Charlie be stupid. They're favorite thing off does a class And then the first thing he does is immediately try and impress that girl.

That's exactly right. Yeah, he's like, I'm gonna do, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make this feed seep with giant teeth of Instagram. So he plates these beautiful plates like resentfully, like normally he wouldn't play it like that, but he's doing it because he knows like just to prove how shallow she is. She's just gonna take a photo of this for Instagram. I'm like, A, these plates look really good. And you should be always plating like this. B, you also take photos of your shit for Instagram. So I don't know why you keep on dinging her

for when you literally saw you get mad that Kate wasn't allowed to take the pictures for your Instagram because that's what she normally does for you. And he's like, just doing no problems. say something a bit make it spring on the slide is something and Kate's like, I think your plates are all about like decorating the table. There's brown beads and glass beads and flowers. And he's just like, like, shut up, like he's not paying attention to her because of course he's like, nice. He's like, fine to her face and makes her think that they're kind of like friendly, but he hates her guts. Stupid bunny, you know? So, yeah, dumb bunny. So then they, yeah, so they serve the food, and at first,

some of the guests don't like the texture, but then ultimately everyone likes it a lot. They actually all love it. So it goes really well, and then dinner's going nicely, and then just eating the chef does like a super zoom on Instagram of Captain Lee, and just like, oh my god, smile, Captain Lee. And you just know he's just like, he's facking it, yet I had to sleep on in the chef does like a super zoom on Instagram of Captain Lee and just like, oh my god, smile Captain Lee and you just know he's just like, he's fucking idiot. I had to sleep on the sky lounge and then they're going to a super zoom on my face and I'll tell you what's gonna get a super zoom my fist into that camera. I think they won't stamp. And then what is happening after this?

Well, my dad. So they serve scallop something or other. Keep your A. Yeah. Ooh. So you get someone who's wondering. So Kevin is doing the, he's flaming the top of a Crembrule and or fire whatever in it.

And Kate comes in. She's like, Kevin. Torting, thank you. Kevin's like, or Kate goes to Kevin. They're super happy, Kevin. And he just keeps torching it. Are you super happy? Be quiet mommy. This is between me and daddy. Okay. I got an email from someone in Patricia who said I should say you high iceberg love from antip So he just ignores her. She's. Are you super happy in the ignores? And she goes, yay!

So then he serves like this creme brulee, but then for someone else he gives a deconstructed cheesecake. I don't even know what that is. Is that just like milk and egg? Well, not egg. I guess there is egg. Milk, egg and cheese. I'm like, is it, wait, is that

for the person who doesn't eat dairy? Like, I don't understand how a deconstructed cheesecake helps that situation. I just don't understand why I don't understand if someone has a thing where they can't have creme brulee that they can then be okay with a deconstructed cheesecake unless they just don't like creme. James. Different things. He served them like four different things, but when it gets to deconstructed cheese cake, I mean, that is the dude. You could call Justinia Dush all you want and you're correct, but deconstructed cheese cake.

I know. Please stop. Dushed cheese. Cheese and graham crackers. So, uh, so then, uh, me and while Tanner and Brian are having a conversation and Tanner's like, so what do you think? I make the move on cake tomorrow. And Brian's like, yeah, bring your gift for it.

Yeah, it's gonna be legendary. I'm like, oh, you're just so disgusting. I'm like, I'm gonna roll them dice, I'm gonna roll them dice. Like, he's suddenly in guys and dolls. Yeah, luck be a lady tonight. Luck if you've ever fucked a lady to fuck with it. Luck fuck a lady tonight, those little lyrics.

I wrote down Mulan Cave tomorrow, so I'm glad you heard it properly. I was like, what is he even talking about? But he's saying making the move on Kate tomorrow. It's like Mulan Cave sounds amazing. I'm in. So then Kate is in, she sees Riley downstairs. I'm rather like I was told to go to bed. And she says how Aston's tolerates her. And that she needs to sort of self reflect because I'm insecure. I guess I don't got it after all.

And then we get some weird Riley origin story. It was amazing Origin stories are hilarious in general right because I think the last one we got was that like The FedEx guy showed up at Christmas and her dad answered the door with a shotgun or something like that Right, so he was the type of guy to answer the door with a shotgun with FedEx So not that Christmas and we're wait, is the bad part that he is walking around with a shotgun or that Christmas was FedEx on your, you know, on the day, whatever. But this one is so funny. She's like, I am who I am. My dad married my stepmom, and then they started an Airbnb, and no one wants kids to be seen in Airbnb. So we had to hide. So standing up for myself is something I'm gonna do.

It's like, wait a minute. Riley was confined to the rooms in the bed and breakfast in Florida. They moved from Alaska to Florida where they started up a bed and breakfast and then she was confined to rooms because guests weren't allowed to see her. So because of that, she speaks up.

Otherwise, she'll be forgotten at the imaginary bed and breakfast of her use. Yeah, wow. We've heard about a lot of drama on this show and that. Not B&B drama. Yeah, it's the first, uh, Arab. This is the first bed and breakfast drama we've heard. You know what it is? It's like, you know, when there's like horror movies and people are like, um,

they moved to new house and there's like a grand keeper that has creepy children who movies and people are like, they moved to new house and there's like a groundskeeper that has creepy children who stare at you are like, we like to play. That's like, this is what happens when those children grow up. They turn into Riley. Got it. It's like, it's just standing there with sickles. Got it. Got it. So, now it's like four in the morning. morning speaking of horror movies it's four in the morning everyone's asleep and all of a sudden we hear a tan I mean and he starts screaming in bed. Yeah and brew, brew, brie, brie. It's, breathe, you okay? And he goes, was that you? I thought like, he says, and they bleep it out.

What he says. The fucking bleeper software was running underneath, invested with the covers. Like, wow. Yeah, well, basically, he was, yeah, he was referring to a little person, but I guess I didn't realize that the previous common word that people used to throw around all the time was now actually bleepable. Yeah, he was referring to a little person, but I guess I didn't realize that, you know, the previous common word that people used to throw around all the time is now actually

believable. So I'm like, I'm like, I don't know if I can say it even on the podcast now, because it's bleeped out on TV. But either way, that's what he was thinking of. He thought a little person was rummaging around his covers and his nightmare, which is like, even his nightmares are just stupid, you know, they're just like just stupid, stupid people, stupid dreams. Stupid, stupid, that's what he was like screaming because he thought like, if I had a dream that a little person was rummaging around like my sheets, I'd be like, Hey, get out of there. I mean, I know I'm anyone rummaging around my sheets.

I probably like stop, you know, but I don't think I would wake up screaming bloody murder. You know? Yeah. Oh, Tiana. Of course, some of the things I have woken up terrified from are your stupid people, stupid dreams. It's like, can I be? Oh my God, I have too many tables to wait on.

What am I gonna do? And I wake up like, oh! Oh! I mean, I'd be confessional for a moment I I had a dream last night that I was like should I share this on the podcast? I don't want to because it's kind of embarrassing, but I kind of feel like The pod like this feels like fate like I had a dream last night It's like what's like the like you know like most times like if you see someone naked in a dream It's like a sex dream or whatever. It's like you're wake up, you're like, whoa.

But like this was the exact opposite. Like this was actually like, I felt violated by my dream because I had a dream. I can't believe I'm saying this about this. But I really feel like we all get it. I had a dream that I was somewhere and Michael Darby walked in in LaTowell and I was like, oh God, oh God.

And I was like, no, he's gonna come to like sexual harass me. And then he like took off his towel and he had the tiniest little dick in the, like I'd ever seen. And I was like, ah, and I woke up. It was like a sex nightmare, but it wasn't sex. I got, I got, it was like a naked. You know, like when you see something in your dream,

it's like, it was a dream, but now it's like, you have, you now know what it looks like in real life. Now I know. That's terrible. It's terrible. I'm going. Oh, man, I'm so sorry. I had a naked Michael Derby dream.

There. Oh, God. That's way worse than a little person rummaging onto your sheet for crying out loud. Yeah, no kidding. Getting lined, all right, Tana, with your terrifying dreams. Yeah. So now's the next morning, Tana is sitting right going like,

he's just like still shaking up from his dream. And Captain Lee, he's like packing up his room, and he's like getting to get into yadding. It'll be fun. You'll see the world, homeless, living out of blue bags. Ha! Ha! We also got a shot of Captain Zundies. Yeah.

Now I feel like every time I see the captain, I'm gonna be like, sagging your N-B-S. Oh, that's so good. I know, I feel like that was so mean of them to do that. I don't know why. It's like, who cares? It's underwear, but I felt like they were sort of, it was like, it felt like a school yard thing.

Like, I see you're underwear. Yeah, well, it's just like when you know somebody, you know, then you're like, I've seen you, then you just see them always in their underwear, you know? Right, exactly. So then the Tanner is talking to Simone and they're both cleaning the table and he's like, if you wanna do something else,

I'll clean the table. So no, no, no, no, no, it's at all. I'll clean the table by you, would walk here. And then there's like awkwardness, the Rally and Ashton, they're like basically not talking. And Ashen wants to talk to Captain Lee. And so he goes and then talks to him and he goes and Captain Lee's like, I feel like I've been rolled up in a bedroom, beaten with a baseball bat. That's what I got to say.

What about you? What's going on with you? Tolerary anyone lately? I love it. Someone offense it like someone really mean would roll you up in a sheet and then be with the baseball bat. It's like no, no cushioning at all. It's to contain the mess. Oh, that's good. Um, so leaves like, I saw the guy issues. I'm stupid. I saw your stupid model sandwich. That was funny. What was that mayonnaise between white sandwich. That was funny. What was that man he is between

weight bread? That was good. So he's actually the Lursody in Turkey. So Ash is like saying to lateness healthy choice turkey sir. The vending machine. Well, it's the same issues with Rory Lee is last year. I've tried but unfortunately her issues have affected the entire crew. Right. I would never speak to her the way she spoke to me last night. Now, will I paint a bunch of window out of Minivan? Yes, but let me just say Minivan said something mean about my mother, possibly, maybe, or just said mother, don't really remember.

I'd like to go into the next shot. The next two shot was a man down. I can't believe it's like, well, I don't want to make a radical change. I mean, we're talking about six goddamn days, 60s. I mean, the world was created in 60s. And I'll tell you what else was created in 60s. The sky lounge bedroom.

God, this place is terrible. And during this whole thing, they're showing that Riley is actually downstairs doing laundry, which is not her job. They're showing brightly like going above and beyond while he's talking about getting your fired. And so the captain is like, well, if you're acting like a dick, that's exactly what I'm going to tell you up. But he looks really like just not happy that he's going to have to do this. Like he doesn't like it.

Right. Because usually he's very sure about it. It's like you're fired stupid and get on a donkey to take you to your plane ticket. Yeah, exactly. So Raleigh, so now Captain Lee calls Raleigh up to the sky lounge or wherever he is. And so she goes up there and she has to have like this awkward moment where she walks by action coming down the stairs. Like clearly, action just tattled on Captain Lee and like, because he's coming down from the captains and she's going up. So they have an awkward moment. She literally turns away from him.

So she doesn't have to look at him as he passes her. Who's really funny. Yeah. So she starts telling Captain Lee that there's just a different energy with the guys, etc. And then we're like cross-cutting with Tanner and Brian on the bow, like complaining about her and he's like, I don't want a golden rickianza, but it's a cancer, bro, that's a good one. She's a cancer. All right, let's call the rickianza. She's a big cancer. Oh, good. Meanwhile, Kevin is plating burnt pancakes.

This is where that happened. So, yeah, Riley is like, well, I mean, I do offer an opinion and he's like, well, sometimes you offering an opinion can come off its criticizing. It's not a one way street, right? But listen here, we don't confront problems by running away. We deal with those problems and I'm going to do that right now by getting different few points, right? Right. Love you, kiddo.

Thanks for the coffee, dude. Thanks, kiddo. Thanks for a ride, not having Thanks, kiddo. Thanks for a ride, not having crazy hair like that other redhead. So, so yeah, so Captain Lee's basically gonna like ask everyone like basically get everyone's input, which is annoying because Riley is totally outnumbered. So of course they're all gonna trash her. So it's, you know, she thinks it's gonna be a witch hunt and she's right. I mean, like those, I don't know how she could really,

you know, it's hard. I mean, like, she's told, like how the only way that she could rise up out of this is if, if, if Kate basically, and as Kate later does, like comes to her defense, you know, because she's told, like, she's going to get real rooted out of there. Yeah. And so she's, you know, she walks off like Jesus fucking Christ, which is all of right. You know, reliance every scene in this episode, but just venting in the hallway. Like, God damn it. Jesus fucking God damn it. So Kevin, I just keep writing down burnt pancakes. I just keep seeing it over and over. I'm sad that I miss the burnt pancakes. I can't believe it. So Zach is like, um, Zach is some douchebag.

He's the primary one of the primers. He's like, yeah, is this real maples syrup that came from a tree? I don't care what it came from as long as it's not corn syrup. Just ask for a fucking real maple syrup and get over it. Okay, just that we don't need to have a whole story that has to come from a tree, Mr. No Teflon, okay? No, people like that are like that because I want everybody to know that they got this. Yeah. No, it's from the trees. Like, yeah, you look really organic, this, sir. I know, enjoy putting the ocean while you're on your yacht ride.

So although actually, to be fair, I love I love like I will almost always do real maple syrup and ask for it. If I were not a yacht, I would ask for real maple syrup. I just wouldn't be like, I'm kind of like real maple syrup. I'm like a tree, you know, just not going syrup. I'd be like, do you have real maple syrup? And that would be the end of it. And they say, no, I'll be like, okay, fine, I'll take the face off. Like, that's how you do it. Square plates, am I right? So, um, so then, uh, yeah, then Kevin serves us some apples and them in muffins, and they're like, wow, Kevin's really stepping up,

and he's like, I love that he's like stepping up, again, like resentfully, like, we'll all show you, and I'm gonna step up, and they'll say, that'll show them that I can step up. I'm not gonna do what they want. I'm just gonna step up, just prove to them that I could step up, daddy. D-D.

So the captain is like, all right, I'm gonna question people. And now listen here, I'm gonna ask you some questions. And I don't want bullshit. I want answers, all right? Eston and Riley are going at it like Bobcats and a burlap sack and a Cheerio and a Spaghetti of Bowl, right? A bunch of letters not making any goddamn sense. So, uh, yes, and now's like Brian and Tanner, like it's like cutting back and forth between

their, um, their, like depositions with Captain Lee and Brian's like, oh, I tried to keep a professional brew, but she doesn't listen. Oh my need huge temper very disrespect the So tanner and Brian are both talking separately to the captain But keep cutting to their answers and they're basically saying what you think they would, you know It's just gonna build up. You know, I had my dick in this fly yesterday, and I hear right thing fuck you about something You know what I'm seeing? Brian's just like, take a proof, change of command, brew.

Uh, and then me while up on the deck, Zach is like, did anyone else have an unidentifiable funk in their room? Like I had to go to bathroom because it actually smelled better. They're like, yeah, it's called Jamie. Oh, sorry, Jamie, you're right there.

And then it cuts the tann ton of going she's a cancer. Yeah, you like that one. God, the Leo just thought about it. So then Kevin is talking to Courtney in the kitchen. He's like, well, I'll give him, but normally I'd give them biking with cream, but because I don't like them. And she goes, oh my God, you're taking this really personally. Also, sir, one of their vegetarians and don't have dairy. So if you were giving them bacon and whipped cream, you would actually

be doing a worse job than you're currently doing. Yeah. Also, they're the guests. And you should serve, you should try to be doing your best because there's a tip. Okay. And then you'll be upset about a low tip. All right. Don't be like that. So then just bitching. Yeah, he's like a fucker. She told me Monslude was shit. And then just being theirs, theirs her face. She's like, hi, oh, look at all that iceberg lettuce. How could you say that, daddy? What?

She's like, hi. And then he sees her and he just throws down a ziploc and stares at her or like ignore her. Or prick. And she's like, I just want to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, which first of all, she doesn't have to apologize at all because again, she's the guest.

It's a nice thing for her to do because she was being obnoxious, but like, she's being a dick and so she does not have to apologize, I think. Like, she basically said, I want, we want more upscale food and there's no reason why she has to apologize for that. And then of course, he's like, Noop problem. Thank you so much. No problem. No, it's fine. It's fine. He's once again being such a fake asshole. Yeah, I would look at her. He's like being rude or he's like, fine, fine, fine, but he won't look at her and he's just like facing literally away from her.

She's like, okay, then bye. Then Courtney says, oh my God, he didn't even look her in the eye. Like she's a guest and she was seriously apologizing, but also it's common courtesy. And that was fucking rude. He's like a tiny square plate, just like rude and like why are you here? So Kate is bringing Cheerios. Can I impose upon you for a bowl of Cheerios, Kate? I just think it's funny when he eats curious all the time and he's like god damn it. Bull and Cheerio my ass cheerio's. Bring me a box of all the Caltios about that. So they they basically are like convincing about Riley and Kathleen Captain Lee's like, well, she's hard to get along with sort of like Jamie. Am I ranked that

that fucking cut fitness today? So you're ranked this time. I think Riley's lovely. Yeah, she's like, actually, I think she's really lovely. She accepts no responsibility for anything. And she's like, well, the responsibility falls more in Ashton, because why have a boasting if he's not going to manage this team? And then she tells us, Oh, Ashton because why have a boasting if he's not going to manage his team. And then she tells us, Oh, Ashton, do you want to play the game where we talk about each other to the captain?

You started it. That's true because he didn't he did complain about Kate earlier this season, I think, right? I can't remember. Everything sort of flows together and after watching that, like a hundredth episode reunion special, it's hard to remember. Oh, by the way, that was what we talked about that on our bonus episode for like half an hour. So go listen to that.

It gives you a wondering. I think that Kevin talked to the captain about her, but I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Kevin Ron and she was saying, you want to play the game where we talk about each other's jobs, other people or something like that. Yeah, Kevin did. So she's like, um, Ashenspengadik. She actually says that to the she's like, um, Ashenspinkidek. She actually says that to the captain. It's like, Ashenspinkidek, you got your being power hungry, deck. Yeah. Yeah. And basically, she's like being the department head means you have to find ways to have your team work together. You know, for instance, you'd seen the way all my students work so well together over the years, you know, that's what being a department heads all about. Yeah, so Tanner and, and Brue, are talking about how great Ashton is for being so patient

with Riley, you know, and Brian, I think says it all, he goes, more patient than I would have been, I've said it since day one, she's going to be a problem and she is, well, there you have it. Well, there you have it. Yeah, that means you didn't give her a shot. You thought she was going to be a problem and then self-fulfilling prophecy. You don't you have it. Well, there you have it. Yeah, that means you didn't give her a shot. You thought she was gonna be a problem and then self-fulfilling prophecy. You don't have that works, Brian.

There you go. Yeah, so the anchor pulls up and Kate is ironing and asks him to come in and say, how's your morning? Stupid. How's your morning, Mr. Funkaverse? Yeah, that's what you look like. So, Ashton's like, well, there's a lot to be thought about.

The situation was aggravated by information that Rolly didn't need to have, you know? She's like, oh, what information would that be? I'm being facetious right now, can you tell? Look at my facetious face on. What I mentioned about the fishing trip to the captain and then Rolly is passing by and he's like, Oh, oh.

Oh, you're wondering what, some low sodium turkey sounds like when it coughs. There it was. There it was. So what about it? What about it, Ashton? He's like, so you think it's right for you to get involved in the management of my team. I think that you shouldn't say anything in the presence of another group member that you wouldn't repeat. That was the ironing, but also his, you stupid, you stupid. Yeah. I kind of expect privacy amongst us three. I'm like, oh, you're wrong. But you're wrong.

You don't get any, quote unquote, privacy. So, uh, Ash and it's like, the rules go to apply to Kate. That's my problem. And then we see like a montage of Kate just like talking back to everyone on the boats over the years, like just, it's my problem. And then we see like a montage of Kate just like talking back to everyone on the boats over the years, like just, it's like, her yelling at Ben, her yelling at Kevin earlier. You know, I think that was the point of the montage. I actually wasn't totally sure what they were, they were like a king us up for, but I was just like, I don't care. I really enjoy this montage.

It's hilarious. Yeah, I didn't really understand what that was either. I guess because the nation says, you know, when you're speaking to Kate, there's like one point in its her point. Like it's her way or the highway. I guess that's what the montage was supposed to be. Yeah. I mean, it was funny.

It was like a golden moments of Kate. I guess it just depends on how you view the show. Yeah, I was like, that was so nice. And to put in a Kate appreciation montage, right? In the show. Yeah, I was like, that was so nice. I'm to put in a Kate appreciation montage right in the middle of this. That was lovely. I was like, God, Kate's telling so much. She's stupid. God, this is a fun trip down memory lane.

Yeah, I was like, no, that was supposed to sport my point. So he's like, I understand how to manage my team. And he goes, I don't think you do. You're just going to fire Riley. That's not magic. that's just quitting. Yeah, and he's like, well, I would like you to apologize because I don't think it's right for you to get involved in the management of my team. She says, well, feel free to repeat anything I say out loud because I have no secrets

about the operation of this boat. Psh, yeah. Asher doesn't realize that, like, Kate could have invited for what he did like a few two episodes ago like he should be so thankful right now and Like first of all like he should I mean He's tried to kiss every all the girls it feels like on the boat. He he Caused the crew he violated Captain Lee's thing, which is like, don't embarrass the boat when he got wasted at that resort and cannonballed and destroyed the DJ's equipment

and rang up charges for basically for himself that he took on. And then he tried to cascade again and then got violent right in front of her, like fireable offenses. And for her, try to crawl back to the back seat, to violence, like, taking that hurt. I mean, my God.

So, and also he loses his calm every single time, which is why she always wins fights with people on this show. You know, it's like everyone else, she lost it when she threw all the clothes on the ground or whatever, and she's still didn't get in trouble because everyone else acted dumb or, you know?

Yeah. It's like you still ran off screaming and yelling after that. Like you could have won, but you act like such an idiot. So she stays so calm and he loses his temper again. He's like, well, you have no taking talking to other people either. She's like, okay. And she just keeps ironing like he was never there.

And he goes, fucking bitch. Meanwhile, like Simone's like knocking from the inside of the dryer. Could someone let me out please? I'm done with the bathroom. Has anyone noticed that I haven't been in the entire stocking half of the episode? Someone let me out. I was trying to give water to the dry up. So now everyone's leaving. Goodbye, goodbye. And then Zach, the guy who only wants maple syrup, he's like all sweaty and disgusting. And he's like, hey, look us up if you ever in Charleston. They're like, mm-hmm, sure. I'll be sure to, buddy.

Yeah, captain, he's like, I think I'll be staying with Patricia. Thank you very much. And Justin hugs Kevin, but before she goes out to him, she's like, I'm gonna cut he hates me. Which, who cares? He works for you. Yeah, exactly. That's like not the vibe that you should be giving out. You know, it's terrible. So then they all leave. And then Courtney goes into Brian's room and goes, Brian, Brian Courtney kiss Yeah, they're like all cute and it's gonna all fall apart next week. So sad. Yeah, Brian calls his daughter

It promises to take her to splash next week He's like I love my daughter You know, but I'm thinking they what's gonna happen with me and Courtney? What's gonna happen with me? Courtney know, but I'm thinking, what's going to happen with me in Courtney? What's going to happen with me in Courtney? That's typical trajectory. So now, um, Ashton's with Tanner, and he's saying how Kate has been pushing his buttons and Tanner's like, yeah, that doesn't help anything at all. Not at all. I'm going to try to fuck it tomorrow, though. That's for sure. I think Kate and Riley are talking and Riley, Kate's telling Riley about Ashton, you know.

She's like, well, he said he wants to fire you. And I was like, hmm, she's firing me for what? Really, this is our leader instead of bringing me up or helping me who'd prefer me to be fired. If I got fired for this, my co-beer would be in jeopardy. So where do I go from here? I'm like, well, back to the BNB. Oh, the what? The B&B. Go back to B&B. She's like, um, I'm totally offering a free breakfast to anybody who doesn't fire me and you will totally not know who brought it to because I will never

leave my room. Thanks. I once went to a B&B. I said it a B&B and I didn't realize, I thought a B&B you just go and you like, it's just like a hotel, like you just have a room, you know, but I didn't realize like I was expected at breakfast and the host got so mad at me, like, a B&B would be perfect for a Riley actually. Hello, it's breakfast time. I mean, breakfast are you gonna come

down here or what? Got it. Yeah, that's, I never staying in that. No. Also, random shout out because they, there was like a shot of Riley, like walking around. And I think it was his name, Darian. I think his name is Darian, right? The engineer who fixed the event the other day. I was like, it was like random Darian in the background.

I was like, oh my god, he got a free, like, they never show them. They never show like the engineer and the chief mate or whatever they're called. I was like, wow, there he is. Serious really making it this year. He's really got a lot of screen time. Yeah, ever since he fixed that air fence. Yeah, much better than that one time. There was that one like chief engineer who remember when like, like Kate was on,

like the tender and she's like, um, are you getting on the tender? Are you getting on? And he's like, was put his foot on it and like the tender was floating away and he's gonna fall in the water. He was just being like an, I forgot what it was. But he was like an asshole and then we never saw him again. He was like, you can't say can I have to be replaced. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, so the tip meeting, they ended up leaving 17.7,000. That was a prop, right? Yeah. Yeah. Um, and I'm was a propriate. Yeah. And I'm not pleased with the exterior. I'm not sure yet. And I'm going to address it.

But you can't kick shit down the road and think it's going to go away because it don't. That's what happens when you put shit in a burlap bag with some bobcats. It gets everywhere. Okay. And you can choose that. That's the bank. Now, these debt crews behaving like a bunch of little fucking kids. And fortunately for them, I don't babysit. Just favorite captain thing to say.

I don't babysit. Yeah, he's like, wow, this decision's got a closely resembled cluster fuck. I guarantee you that the bank speculated. Oh, Bobcat fighting in the North sack. assemble a cluster fuck our guarantee that the bank spec the old bobcat fight and then to watch sack And that was that. So I guess that's we will see how it all shakes out with Riley. I mean, I really don't know what's gonna happen I don't think he's gonna fire Riley, but he might I might tease out she's a

Because when he came to our live show I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I think that's why I Abby. Abby. I think Abby was still on the show at that point. Oh, dang it. I was counting on that. The good thing about having a terrible memory is that I'm always surprised by everything, you know? But damn it. OK, maybe he was talking about Abby.

Well, not damn it, because I like Riley. But we'll see. It looks like she's getting fired. But do you think she's tricky? I think she's tricky. I think that you probably will be because I like Riley, but we'll see. It looks like she's getting fired, but do you treat her reviews or tricky? I think that she probably will be because I think that, I think that like it's, she does, I mean, the guy that is such a boys club and they just, they are, they do, they are obnoxious to her,

but I think that ultimately like, if you have like three people being like, listen, she does not take direction and she blows up the moment you try to teach her something she doesn't do this that. I mean, there's a nut. I think it's, I think it's, she has a hard, a hard case to go to, to, to win against. So I think she's going to go. Yeah, we'll see next week, everybody. if you want to hear us talking about the below deck Reunion on what what happens live you can go check out our bonus We're also gonna be doing a couple new crappings on demand videos this week, which will be super fun We're doing the Vanderpump rules premiere tomorrow

And then we'll be doing real house to us at Jersey later Go get live show tickets at WatchUpCrapants.com and find the links to vote for the crappy awards, everybody. We love you guys. Yeah, we do. We'll talk to you tomorrow with some band-up up rules. Bye! Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.