Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: The Musical

Episode Date: November 2, 2017

Nico’s brother comes on board this week with his dirty ass feet. Will Jen bang him? Or will she save herself for the cougar guest who can’t keep her boobs in her bikini? We were so nervou...s about the whole thing that we just sang the whole time. This week’s bonus is a shot by shot breakdown of the new Vanderpump Rules trailer for season 6. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram
Starting point is 00:00:41 and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low Christie dowry the OG Prem Supreme and our super duper premium sponsor Kelly Grant the most gorgeous girl in Texas we love you. Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeel Broves. I'm Ronnie Carram from Trash Talk TV and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast. And here I am with the gorgeous little friend of mine. Ben Mantelker of the Beside blog of the banter blender. Hello, Bean. Howdy, duty Ronnie. So exciting to be
Starting point is 00:02:01 here talking about below deck a full day ahead of time because if you are tuning in to hear us chat about Real House, not New Jersey, guess what, you have to wait a few days because we are reserving that for our San Francisco show, which is this weekend. So if you tune in over the weekend, probably on Sunday, we'll have it up. But for right now, we have below to be a blow deck, which is just as good, just as good. It's not as much cake throwing, but lots of shade. Yes, lots of shade, even though the little temporary cabana was blowing away down the beach.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Freeding shade, shade that moves. No one said shade is easy. It's you have to work for. You have to travel with the shade if you want to be in the shade. It's worth talking about literal shade, not actual like a shade. It is the actual physical shade that you used to get to avoid the sun. Yeah, so we're excited. We're excited. Also, our bonus episode this week was all about the Vanderprung Rules trailer. It was like a very long break down
Starting point is 00:03:05 of a two minute trailer. So please go over there and listen to that and thank you to everybody who is with us on Patreon. We sure love y'all. Yeah, that was a fun bonus episode. This is going to be a great week. Very excited to go see our peeps up in the Bay Area. We will be doing our show. This will be one of our biggest shows that we've ever done, actually. And it's just gonna be awesome. And then we'll do an after party and it'll just be a great, great time,
Starting point is 00:03:34 a great, great week and to be had. Yes, and I think there's a pre-party too. We're not throwing that, but a bunch of listeners are throwing that. So if you wanna know about that, go to the group. You can find it on our Facebook page, which is facebook.com slash watch what crap ends. And there's a group that's listed there called,
Starting point is 00:03:50 watch what crap ends, laven loving it. Yeah. We'll be posting info on where to go to all the parties and stuff and say and frame. But for now, let's, what are you doing? I feel like I've been waiting on buckets for a long time. We need buckets like yesterday. It's very open with the, exactly.
Starting point is 00:04:13 I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a,
Starting point is 00:04:21 I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a,'s the thing. I have a macro note about Blow Deck. It's not a note. It's an observation. I feel like it's been years coming, but it's time to really just lay it out there. I think it's impossible to hum the Blow Deck theme song. Have you ever tried to hum it? You can't. No, that's why I do it the way I do it because the way I do it doesn't sound like it's realistic. It sounds like,
Starting point is 00:04:45 oh, well, that's not really how it goes, but it is, okay? Yeah. Like this. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, that's almost shark tank what you're doing. That's, you shark, and it's funny because I thought about shark tank when I was observing this. I was like, you know, shark tank, I can hum Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun like theme songs, like one day at a time, et cetera. This is like the anti-themed song, because you, like you said it, it goes, ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun on the edge of long time. We need my best guest today. Duh, duh, duh. He jays my Boston. I'm trying to embrace it, but it's hard not to jump and lead everybody to be buzzing. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh proper theme song to blow deck you know um maybe it's too soon to tell but I
Starting point is 00:06:25 think I hate these people I feel like I'm at a middle school maybe I should take my own advice I give my daughter and let it roll up my shoulders yeah I'm into it. Yeah, I'm the baker baker just slides across the state. Yeah She's on a skateboard With like a like a fuchsia t-shirt with like yellow trim I'm into it. I almost don't want to recap the rest of this because now I'm so into the musical version. I would be very excited to see Glowdech the musical. Just performed by us the whole time. There could be like the the ballad of Captain Lee. God damn it. Every day I look out a dirty window.
Starting point is 00:07:27 And I say, God damn it, God damn it, God damn it. No one's answering the walkie talkies. Please take this to heart. Please take this to heart. God damn it. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duuh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-uh-duh- them I have. Beat them all night long. You're mixing salmon with prongs. Oh, I just don't know if that's going to work. When you're a deckhand, you're tired all the time
Starting point is 00:08:10 from the first day the sun comes up that the last dying sun sets. When you're a deckhand, you want to dig nap because it's tiring. I'm tired. Song's tired. I'm to over. Oh, Virgin Islands.
Starting point is 00:08:27 You lovely islands. Copanos blowing and Jen wants to blowing. Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, you're walking on the boat with her to pee. Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, you walk on the boat with your feet. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, The lore is coming to the Caribbean. Classy rocks on empty tables. Hmm, maybe next time you'll clean the bedroom properly. Maybe next time you won't overload the washers. Oh my god. Alright, so this real episode opens with one of the old dudes like
Starting point is 00:09:25 Can I get a skinny girl margarita with less weed in it plays on it You feel like he's played by Charles during it or something He's played by the oldest person left on the earth. Okay, he's like a blaze. I've got the diabetes I said I said I said I need a skinny girl, Margarita's. And then the ones that are created by law and all, except in these hamptons. Can you believe it? You know, that way I have to give someone, oh God, I think it was called like bitches or whatever. One of our listeners pointed us towards this hilarious article online about like like five reasons why like the five most essential Real Housewives of New York City episodes, you have to watch if you're a Lewand fan and there's like different episodes, there's like five episodes or eight episodes or something like that where that are like key iconic things that tell a different part of Leuand's character and what I loved when they described the infamous
Starting point is 00:10:36 Berkshire's episode They they said the writers said the one of the things they loved about it was that it gives some fun stuff for skinny girl truthers. And I thought the phrase, skinny girl truthers was so brilliant, like so brilliant. I love it. So I'm going to look up while you talk, I'm going to look up there you are all because people should follow this, because I just feel like you can't write that stuff and not get any secretive. Okay, so the Bimbo comes out and her seat, it's like, I'm planning on a bathing suit.
Starting point is 00:11:13 The old guy's like, that's one heck of a suit there, honey. Very nice. And his friend is there, his creepy friend. He's like, he's like, his eyes are like popping out and then let's see We get some some anchor drama captains like give me three shots now. I have a look in one two three shots Three shots you're out. I need to it's like harder harder harder and stay we did it
Starting point is 00:11:44 harder, harder, harder, and stay. We did it. So, by the way, that URL is the bitchywitches.com, the bitchywitches.com, go follow and know the bitchywitches with a Z. So follow them on social media. Soory. Soory. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. So anyway, trying to create a musical here or anything. Okay. So basically, yeah, this woman Sarah who's the blonde the the demanding annoying blonde You know the whole reason why she wants to get her luggage so quickly is because she wants to show off her bikini body And sure enough that's like the very first thing that she does like she just comes out and which obviously is like
Starting point is 00:12:21 There's nothing wrong with one to come out with your bikini But the fact that she goes to like several bikini changes over the course of the first day It's evidence that this bitch she just wants to show up for body right now Yeah, and you know what her body got her on this boat. It's getting her a rich husband you go sister That's called end body goals, okay? That's true. You're doing it. Yeah, I may not share your goals You know, I only tear her down because I want to have a bikini body myself I know this is how we oh I do I saw her working at it Now it's like that's not what I want to do at the morning in the morning. She's like oh
Starting point is 00:12:55 Body Body workout like So what is what is it called when you only work out with your own body like body weight? What body weight? Why why do you, body, body, body, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body
Starting point is 00:13:11 weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body, weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body, weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body, body weight, body body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight, body weight,'s like, huh, and she shifts it to Jen and and. Huh. That's not quite a penis towel, but you'll do. So while they're well, Jenny bear is terrifying too, because it's like
Starting point is 00:13:37 missing eyes. Yeah. How do you not have a cute teddy bear? I'm sorry. There's literally never been a teddy bear that's not cute, but they brought they found one. I agree with you. I bet it was surprisingly hard to speaking of hard, you know, like you ever have a teddy bear? It's not squishy, the one that's like really firm, really like, I feel like there's like plastic under this.
Starting point is 00:13:55 That was a plastic teddy bear. It's a hard teddy bear. So then upstairs, Matt meanwhile, he's preparing lunch and guess what he's making he's making a steak salad with Italian dressing like wow really, uh, really, really expanding your horizons there Italian dressing on a salad for lunch. Okay. So let's see, um, other bimbo kisses her guy and he's like, oh, you guys look coosy girls.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Yeah. And let's see, bimbo sprays, spraying each other with stuff and he goes like, whoa, yeah, man. Dude, that chicken, the bikini is amazing, yeah. And then we got to Bruno. And he's now Bruno has been a sous chef now because he made some chocolate balls a couple weeks ago. So now this bitch is another cook in the kitchen. Yeah. Like you give him a man
Starting point is 00:14:50 a couple of balls and now look at him. He's got the balls to come into the kitchen. He's like Sarah asked about the launch because today she wants to eat. I'm trying to do it. I'm trying to do it. Not a Diko accent, okay? You just like do you speak like in generic. She wants to sort of action. We got to eat fast Yeah, anytime there's like a value you sure like make it sound like a bubble of sound is coming out of your mouth like Like instead of pow pow hungry on She's hungry. Long. Long last. Just about the bomb.
Starting point is 00:15:26 That's what they're talking about. She's like, well, they're ready about things. I will set the table. So, EJ is like, all right guys, let's just try and make sure that everything's set up and no pillows blow away. And then Baker's like, down into islands, man. He's like down into islands man
Starting point is 00:15:52 He's like I don't know what that means, but it's sort of cool. It's kind of turned me on in a weird way So so then we cut to the biggest drama of the entire episode Hi, we're looking for music like we lead the jams Where's the music? Bruno's like they want James. They're asking for jam Damn it. I don't have jam what should we do? And meanwhile we know that things are getting really serious because the blue and white pedals have come out for the jamscape for lunch so we knew
Starting point is 00:16:24 Kate means business this episode. And then it cuts to the bimbo again, being like music, if we could do that, music would be great. And then it cuts to the other couple at the wine fridge. And Kate's like, what are you doing? It's like we are looking for some wine. We was thinking maybe some ball back. And Kate's like, well'll bring that out. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:46 These wines belong to a chic in the Middle East so we're just gonna bring you some Trader Joe's, okay? And then just like a bimbo who can't keep a storyline running for an entire episode, she comes back in again. She's like, where's the music? I'm a constant in music, I can't stand it. Bitch, you are on a reality show that is being filmed for television. They cannot be playing music in the background with a trying to capture your dialogue. Settle the fuck down. Can we buy music? Can we just buy a music, Sean?
Starting point is 00:17:13 Can we just buy one? So Kate's like, they want to music. And she's like, okay, they're pushing my buttons already. Look, I buttons. Oh no, those are abs, sorry. I hope your buttons press and start playing music. Do you have a play button button? Ooh, I love pussycaps girls too. Buttons, buttons!
Starting point is 00:17:37 Hi, me and my husband want to start pressing your buttons. Mm-hmm, yeah! It looks like my buttons and my pushing and my buttons. Yeah. So it looks like my buttons and my pushin' in my buttons. How's that song go about us supposed to get at Gauls' this girl? You can push your product, you could push your way, you could push anything you want, but I want to push your buttons. I want to push your buttons. Oh, that was my butt. So the window is going to be the worst, but it's not. It's the older lady in another couple that's on the boat, because she's like drunk and actually just wants to bang Jen. Yeah, this is like a throw Mary steam version.
Starting point is 00:18:21 So how do you say her name is steam? It's a dancing. Bergen. Dean Bergen. I'm like, how do you say your name is steam? It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like...
Starting point is 00:18:30 It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like...
Starting point is 00:18:38 It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like the lady's like oh no then the bimbo's like um they're eating a salad and she's yeah I'm curious what lunch could be is this that the salad okay, I'm good with that
Starting point is 00:18:52 You know what's funny is that like the nerve of her like you know She is the type that like to probably would not want anything more than the salad She was doing that just to be demanding like I would say the same thing because I'd be a bitch and be like um I just got off an airplane and I'm on this yacht and I want more than a little steak salad with Italian dressing Okay, but like you know you're not gonna eat much more than this lady Now like she goes um we got a cheers to this wonderful life. We have like who gets to do this I'm like my god like you're responsible for it. Oh you've earned it. Okay, you have earned it ma'am. A show.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Look at that ginger. You're like, oh wow. We've seen a lot of these May, December relationships, but this is like December with all the Christmas decorations on it. It's basically marrying an age spot. Like a son's big brown son spot. And also he's really gross. He's like, oh yeah, you're beginning. Oh, I think the Bimbo just is so new to money
Starting point is 00:19:50 that she's just not sure how lunch is supposed to be served. It's like, are there five more courses? Is there a toy at the end of this happy meal? Like what the fuck am I supposed to do? Where's my little red stick? I'm used to handy snacks. But the thing is, I'm not even sure that he's really a ginger. I think that he's just like so mortified that his hair is turned red because when she's like,
Starting point is 00:20:09 then, I'm out of this line, send just a sound. Okay, I'm cool that he's like, um, settle down, settle down, settle down. Yeah, he can't really be mean to her until they're married. So she's like, well, I've now, I'm now sat through lunch, my lunch bikini. So I'm gonna change my bathing suit. I's like, well, I've now I'm now sat through lunch my lunch bikini. So I'm gonna change my bathing suit I'm like you didn't even get in the water with your first one So she gets in this new one and she's like, okay She just belly flops off I'm Kate Rolls-Royce, so she hears her stomach hit the water. She's like I feel like I'm at summer camp for drunken third graders I'm in summer camp for drunk third graders. Woohoo! I mean, Kate's like, what?
Starting point is 00:20:49 Oh, so let's see. And she's like, you know what? I'm sure they're really happy. It's definitely true love. And Bruno's like, where's the speaker? Speakers diored. So now it's late afternoon. I was like, yes, shots You know why waiting for the shots?
Starting point is 00:21:07 I mean, you come working in my own Great and then they like make a Gimlett version. Oh my god. It's amazing. You know you're coming. I'm like, oh, it's great And chance like um, they didn't mention my curls, but it sounds nice to be appreciated So Nico and Brianna. He's like there's two days until my bro is here. Yeah. And she's like, if this was a land based relationship, I wouldn't be meeting the family, but we are on the water. I don't like to move fast. So at nighttime the bimbo is dancing drunk and the old guys are like, yeah. Yeah, she's like, oh my god, I love this.
Starting point is 00:22:02 So while they're eating, Kate needs help turning the bunny pad into a pillow for and Bakers Eggwell. I have a Sarong that has the universe on it. And Kate's like, that is exactly what we need. But I was like, I couldn't tell if Kate was being serious or not. It was so tricky read on that one. I think she was serious because this is how she said it. She has. That's exactly what we need. Like she was shocked. She was shocked to do a positive moment. It's the wrong of the universe. So this is from the bend.
Starting point is 00:22:32 I was like, I'm in. This is so good. I love the shop. Can we get a shop? I'm on a shop. And the guy's like, shh. So they're making a four-up stairs.
Starting point is 00:22:44 And EJ is like, we need to get is like we need to get these we need to get these colors lined up. Thinker's like yeah get more cushion for the push and whoa. And he just says she's aggressive but I find it delightful. I'm just glad I have all these pillows here to protect myself. So then downstairs, Jen brings up pajamas, the Cougar lady, the Marystein-Burgen type. She likes her pajamas iron, I believe. So Jen brings the iron pajamas for lady and she's like, my husband likes you. I'm going to close the door.
Starting point is 00:23:22 I'm going to show him my tits. Yeah, you can't leave the room. Let's take it off. No, no, don't take it off. Don't take it off. Don't take it off. Hey, we're looking and holding. And she goes, it's like what you want to stop it. You like what you see.
Starting point is 00:23:39 What you want. Lots of sex in this right here. It's like, wah. It's like, ah. I'm saying it's like, there are titties. And I've seen titties before, but these are like not titties. I'm used to. They're old titties.
Starting point is 00:23:54 So, oh, oh, meanwhile upstairs Baker is talking to Kate about some stories. She's like, and then I told the more cushion for the pushin' and Jen comes in and interrupts her and stands right in front of her. And she goes, okay, I can't go back downstairs.
Starting point is 00:24:11 And she's like, what happened? Maybe she smells that it's been a while since I went downtown, but now Baker is still back there like, did you hear around kitchen with pushing like just waiting to finish her story and I'm like I'm traumatized and Baker's like I eat and this you please like I'm not gonna finish so fuck you bitch yeah so then it's like time for the Bajama party and I just I what I liked about the Bajama party was that they kept on cutting to Baker chuckling on the side. And when she chuckles, she just goes, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, Yeah, like an, it's great.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Everyone has fun. And now it's the next morning. Bruno is helping. Bree trying to clean up the kitchen. He's like, I just like making things clean. I tired. Brianna's like, this is neat. When Kate is up here, there's trash everywhere.
Starting point is 00:25:43 And he's like, Oh, oh yeah I used to keep it clean it's something I got used to no more like I need that backstory yeah can we have a can we have a Bruno solo right now please on the Disney cruise they said you could win or lose, to lose you do nothing to win. You clean something. I've been winning ever since. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, I kept my so up and now I'm tired. I can see the headlines already. Bruno stars in the cleanest version of Avita of all time. Clean Vita. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
Starting point is 00:26:39 But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
Starting point is 00:27:10 What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, so meanwhile, it's time to plan a beach party and captain's captain Lee is there with Nico and EJ in the room or the bridge or whatever it is and it's like, well
Starting point is 00:27:48 You can go to crocus when you've done the crocus last time I like that was a good goddamn beach part of place and Nico's like, yeah, I could do I could do crocus We did last time. I could do it myself and you know, I know what I'm doing I can do it all myself and he's like cro it is, all right, I look forward to you. Prove on yourself. Nico proves yourself. And Nico's like, I can handle it. And he's like, well, that should be interesting.
Starting point is 00:28:13 By all means, buddy, put your money where your mouth is. This is never speaking anything that's not a saying of some time. It's like, he can only speak in bad sayings. Yeah. Your money where your mouth is, where it's not what not. Yeah, I don't think it's, I don't think it's capable of just speaking normally. Much like I am. So, so then, so now while they're like getting ready for
Starting point is 00:28:40 Bruno's in the kitchen and he's like, okay, you know, be a good idea. It would be if like we had a cool bar set up, you know, for the's in the kitchen and he's like, okay, you know, be a good idea. It would be if we had a cool bar set up for the beach, for the people and the beach at Grocas. And she's like, hmm, I'll say more like some water sports. You know, so they're not gonna use trunk. Something like that. And I was like, okay, I said. You know, and so he sort of like slinks out of there
Starting point is 00:29:02 and he turns to Matt and he's like, how many chefs are too many chefs in the kitchen? And so he sort of like slinks out of there and he turns to Matt and he's like, how many chefs are too many chefs in the kitchen? They're being like, what did you say? What did you say? And I like that. Kate just doesn't impact. And she's like, I said, how many chefs are too many? She's in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:29:14 And then he gets, he gets confused. He's like, hmm, do. It's not a game show Bruno. He's like, do two chefs. And she's like, game so Bruno. He's like, two chefs and she's like, mm-hmm. And he's like, oh, I'll let that one go this time. Like he leaves with this Bruno look like, oh, I will just, I decided to let that go.
Starting point is 00:29:35 I'm tired. When he looks sad, he always looks so sad. Like his sadness is like very visible. He's like, oh, on cruise ship, no one quiz me on numbers. All sad. Two chefs. Thank God I went on the cruise ship. So I know how many chefs is too many in the kitchen. What did I win? What did I win?
Starting point is 00:29:56 So let's see. So now working out. Why did I have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have like trying to figure out what to serve for lunch at this beach picnic and so math's like, well, I was looking at everyone's preference sheet A and it looks like everyone really likes cold cuts in prosciutto and things like that. So I thought tacos. Okay, it's like, I really like you, Matt. So I don't want to point out exactly how dumb you sound at this moment But I think if everyone likes cold cuts, maybe you serve cold cuts You know, and since it's gonna be a bow tie and pearl necklace party
Starting point is 00:30:33 Maybe bow tie pasta and little balls of mozzarella look like pearls. I don't know. Just think you're loud He's like whoa, what an idea. She's like, oh god. I really love working with him. I suggest obvious things. And it's like I'm a genius. Maybe we should send over a picture of water too. Oh God. Great idea. Great, great, great, great. You know what? We can have a second chef in this kitchen and a chef's name could be Kate. But where does he? I'm trying to think where his logic is because he's like everyone says Delhi meat so I'm thinking tacos Was he gonna make like like a taco with like ham and cheese inside which I would not be opposed to by the way guys What's the sun spot doing with his bimbo? Let's see. He's like that's a cute swim suit Okay, so win soon. Oh, ah, sick. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Okay. So, okay, it's like, okay, we're going to be very Halloween impersonation, very Halloween. Okay. It's a lot. Okay. It's like, um, there's a beautiful beach that we're going to for lunch in about an hour. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:39 This is like, when they say about an hour for your like glasses to be picked up, you know, it's going gonna be two. Everybody already stopped complaining. Okay. So the deck is everybody's trying to get unpacked for the party and stuff. And Baker's like, this, I don't know why Baker makes me laugh, but she's like, hey, those bean sows are in the inflatables. And he goes like, all we'll just get him next round. It's like, dun dun dun! That's almost as exciting as the lime shortage, or perceived lime shortage.
Starting point is 00:32:16 We're gonna go like, I'm looking for limes, and Jen's like, oh, we don't have any limes. We're totally out. And of course, it's the same girl who thought they were out of oranges and they were like Like five of them right under her nose So then Bruno goes downstairs and finds a bag of lines. He's like, oh these fucking girls. They don't know anything Like wow Bruno's cursing at them. They know I know you're like they're the most dysfunctional ever. They wouldn't be fired from cruise ship
Starting point is 00:32:42 He's like nods at the camera These people get some money about cruise ships. They couldn't keep a damn job fired from cruise ship. He's like nods at the camera. These people get some. You're about cruise ships. They couldn't keep a damn job on a cruise ship. The captain's like, hey, hey, captain captain. Someone, someone. He's like, yes. Just testing.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Just testing. Just testing. Yeah, because everyone is like, everyone's like getting ready for this beach picnic. Everyone's like, Kate, Kate, Kate. And like, she's getting ready for this beach picnic and everyone's like Kate, Kate, Kate and like she's not answering no one is in he's just sitting there staring out from the space saying My nobody answering their radio Nobody answering their radio. It's like a cereal box. It can't get them open
Starting point is 00:33:18 Cherry no, I'm not cherry. Oh cherry no Pick up your radio. Am I the only hoe in this club? So then it cussed to Kate and she's like, I hate the beach. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed.
Starting point is 00:33:39 I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. I can't go to bed. and the tent is flying around and a lady grabs her kid and shields it for the flying tent. So let's see, they're not doing very well. They're taking forever to get set up.
Starting point is 00:33:53 The people are getting sick. Tents flying around. Yeah, and EJ is letting Nico do his thing because EJ is like, I respect the hierarchy, but you know, I'm going to prove that I could be bulls in. Now, you should probably do that with maybe some knots or the docking. I don't know that setting up a catering party is a way to really prove that you need more responsibility.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Yeah, exactly. Because those beach picnics always look like a disaster and like that's that's not the time to to rise the challenge. Yeah, exactly. So they're like trying to set up this beach thing is taking forever. The cougars getting noise. I miss all sun time because we've been sitting here. I'm like, lady, you don't need anymore sun time. Okay. You've had enough sun time. Okay. Yeah. You've had a little too much. Just do a favor. And the captain's like, that's all I fucking need. And Kate looks over and there's an actual cabana made out of wood.
Starting point is 00:34:47 And she goes, if we could use that cabana, that would be great. So they just go, it would have been so nice. If we could have used that cabana, yeah. That would have been great. That could have been Kate's ballad. What would have been nice?
Starting point is 00:35:01 What would have been nice? Hmm. If people could be quiet. If people could do their job. If people could dock on time. If people could clean the windows. If we could have that cabana. If Jen could put out the pebbles instead of the seashells for launch tablescapes. That would be nice. That's her version of building it out. That would be nice. Huh. That's her version of building out. That would be nice. What would be nice?
Starting point is 00:35:26 Putting in the proper amount of clothing in the laundry machine. That would be nice. Very subtle. And then it can be like one of those few numbers that everybody singing at the same time. It's like the end of act when the captain's like, they like to say something. Just go and know where fast. Am I cheering now, Mr. Cherry? No. What would have been nice and everyone has a spotlight on them. They you just spotlight shows have been different different
Starting point is 00:35:54 by the stage. What would have been nice. I'll tell you what would have been nice. Old thing is going nowhere fast. Am I cheering now? What would have been nice. I tired. I so tired every day. What would have been nice? And then just Baker sliding across the stage. Wow.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Spotlights going across. It's really powerful moment in the show. No, really powerful. It's a great way to end the act. Oh my God. So what's the Bimbo doing? She's like, I'm a bubble connoisseur. No, she's not drinking champagne. She's actually blowing bubbles.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Yeah, she's like, I'm a bubble connoisseur. These bubbles suck AF. They're cheap AF. These bubbles suck AF. So someone's learned AF. And I hate to break it to her, but there's not a huge amount of quality control in the bubble industry. And it's my impression that bubbles are just bubbles. And if they're not working properly, it's because you don't know how to blow them properly, which is shocking because I would expect that Blowing things would be your expertise. Yeah, no kidding If something sucks is because the sucker blows That everyone knows I love the idea that this girl is is like proud to be a bubble connoisseur and also
Starting point is 00:37:27 simultaneously Flummixed by the bubbles themselves like it's just embarrassing on two different fronts even if she's saying a tongue in cheek It's just embarrassing and then the southern lady is like should I complain about not getting water? I've asked three times now. He's like sorry. I'm tired All this picnic my throat has been dry and I keep asking God. Why why and he says I don't care Make some moves on Jen girl My life I wanted to get wet. I'm just like oh she wants to get wet with me and Kate's like I think the guests might be
Starting point is 00:38:01 She wants to get wet with me. And Kate's like, I think the guests might be lucky that Jen declined their proposition, because in my experience, she never finishes what she starts anyway. What? Oh my love. That was a five-star to get wet. I was going to say it was segue into Jen's song.
Starting point is 00:38:19 I never finish what I. And then she just walks up stage See it's like a meta song And then he would just have to finish the song Cadenbury or I should breathe with finish it I'm always finishing what Jen starts. I don't know if I can tell their with my heart. I've finished what Nick goes girl, friend starts. And we're gonna keep on finishing till we part. If we're on land, will I have a man?
Starting point is 00:39:04 I don't know, I don't think long term. But here's one thing you must know. My hair is not a perm. Erm, wait a minute, Catherine. You are not in this musical, ma'am. Sorry. Tommy is don't go. He's a pinball wizard. Tommy is Don't go He's a pinball wizard Thomas
Starting point is 00:39:29 Catherine you are in the wrong Bravo musical, ma'am So Bruno's like just got dizzy on that pinball machine going around Don't let me just stop spinning the pinball machine Tom is No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Back guys were heading back. So Bruno's telling Nico they so slow they asked for water so many times and he goes like yeah, it wasn't very high end You almost killed someone with the tent, okay? So dinner we're getting ready for dinner and the old guy goes to the bend bow is like You look fabulous You look fabulous. I'm saying thanks. You're welcome to a
Starting point is 00:40:25 I just love all these tiny little scenes of the old band like yeah, you're hot. He looks like one of remember those toy figures muscle member like M.U.S.C.L.E. They're like little like things that like wrestler things that he looks like a bunch of that got melted together basically. They make more sense if you know what I'm talking about. This is how it's like muscles they want muscles I'm making deli meats. Wait a minute sir. No. The chef is like there are days I don't know if I'm good. I think what happened to you chef and then boom the flavors are back I'm so good
Starting point is 00:41:05 boom the flavors are back I'm so good The bimbo's like cheers to rob this trip wouldn't be possible if I didn't have him working his butt off AF And then the music gets real dark it's like Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh No one's fucking paying attention. You're a duck, you're a duck, you're a duck. Who's the goose? No one's goose, you're a duck today was a clusterfuck. Am I cheerio? Cheerio no! Motherfucker. So yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Cause everyone knows I have a pet peeve. And it's this fucking goddamn radio. Oh, it's his big number. and each is like beans not cold so he's like if he keeps messing up he's out of here so now it's dinner time and Sarah you're pretty you're so so pretty I want to touch your butt I want to touch your titty you're pretty Let me finish with a stop. Where'd she go? Sarah, this is in a surprise event.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Sarah loves capers, which I thought was exciting. Yeah, but anyway, so Jen serves, Jen serving and the Cougar rubs Jen's butt at the table. Like she's expecting some sort of genie to come out perhaps. Well, that's my butt. It's my tiny little butt. Where'd she go? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:10 So then the Cougar bass went soft. She kept it. It's non-going joke and the musical. So the Cougar then goes into the galley and is like, y'all are having too much fun in here. Okay, I'm gonna do a glass of that, that, that. Like, okay, well, we actually already served you a glass of that, so you can keep going, bye, bye.
Starting point is 00:43:32 So EJ is talking to Baker, and he's like, well, before that, though, when they send off the Cougar, okay, it's like, Jen, I think that maybe you're giving her mixed signals because when you told her to go back to the table, you basically put your hand on her waist. What? I was just trying to get her to go back to the table. I was trying to protect you. It's like you were molesting her. You're giving her mixed signals. Jen, what? Oh, that makes much more sense.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Yeah. This is such an awkward, awkward time to be talking like this. Like you started it. Wait a minute. Um, so Kate's like, when you're right, Yachty, you know what they're gonna do when they have a drink. They're gonna touch you as a Yachtdy. You know it's not a space Hubble, they're not smart. They don't even understand bubbles when you're a yaddy. Ha! You cause it's all hands on deck, and I mean that in both ways, it's all hands on deck. So you gotta be careful every day. Huh?
Starting point is 00:44:47 So the drunk lady is just trying to find Jen over and over. She's like, um, thirsty. I need water. Waves your butt. Where's that little cute butt in here? I need my little witty. You want to feel my titty? She's She's like wait I'll be right there. Where's she go? Jen you're sending mixed messages again. You should not be taking off your underwear But I thought it would scare her off if she saw that I wasn't wearing panties. She'd be like oh no and realize what she's doing So then Nico is like well today wasn wasn't a good day, clearly I failed. So he's got a whiteboard by his bed and he's like tomorrow you'll do better. Tomorrow you'll do better.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Look for something positive in each day. Even if you can't see it today, a-a-a When Melissa texts you, just say no, stop texting me, I found a local hoe. And then the audience gets really into it because the music starts going, Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh So wiker that's not person. All right, you and Catherine get on the same wagon and get the fuck out of this musical, okay? Yeah, Ressa, Ressa had a song, but it didn't play well in Denver. So it's not making it all the way to Broadway. So I don't even know what this was. But let's go through each a tells he tastes like holy smokes, Baker and Baker's like lot of mercy. We all right
Starting point is 00:46:50 What do they even talking about and he's just like there's something about that accent So captain Lee if anyone's still actually following our recap, believe it or not, we are recapping it. People have pressed top volume. It's not a long time ago. We're following all the beats. So, the reason why Captain Lee was like, let's go, bro, bro, let's go, bro, that's me, is because they're taking the boat in to dock,
Starting point is 00:47:21 because we can get rid of these people. And so, captain Lee is like Captain Lee to the island We are ready to dock are you ready for captain Lee That's a nope that's a nope that's a nope that's a nope, that's a nope, that's a nope, nope, nope. That's some of a bitch. Yeah, Captain Lee is not happy if the slip is not ready yet.
Starting point is 00:47:53 So what are they going to do? Well, they're just going to take the guest by tender. I don't know why it was such a big deal. When you're a yachty, you know, sometimes there's a change in plans. When you're a yachty, you know, your butt can be filled with hands. Oh, I gave you a whistle, but when you're a sometimes you want to know more, but you can't all that you will know is now
Starting point is 00:48:20 we are taking you by intrepid to the shore. Ha. is now we are taking you by intrepid to the shore. Ha! And this is when EJ has his ballot and he's basically like, well cool beans for me. My heart is tender. Just like the boat we're sendering these people off in its gold attendor. See my heart's tander and the boat's called tander. We're sending them off in a tander. That's what my song is. Wow! Stand to go, Asian man! Everyone's like, that's the worst song of a musical.
Starting point is 00:49:00 He couldn't even arrive tender with anything. That was pretty good. That was a pretty good song. So anyways, now it's the tip meeting and Captain Lee is like, man, that was all pretty mediocre. And Bruno was like hearing to Captain Lee saying, meet your, meet it, meet it curse. well, that's a hard word to say. Medicare for babies. I'm there. I'm there for that. I don't know why we have to have Medicare.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Medicare makes the tire. My finger nails are good. I don't need medical. So the brothers come and they get a decent tip, but it's not so great. And the captain's like, all right, well, this was mediocre. Please take this to heart. So it's us comes to the vote. And we're brothers, brothers, we're brothers, brothers, brothers. They have a big brother tap dancing number.
Starting point is 00:50:01 Yeah. And everybody's trying to decide who's going to fuck who? Yeah. His Jens are in sort of eye Josh. dancing number. And everybody's trying to decide who's gonna fuck who. Yeah, because Jen started to start to eye Josh. She's like, well, he's sort of cute. And I am pretty horny. And someone did just touch my butt. So I'm kind of ready to go. I'll take him. He has the potential to be an ex lover of mine. So they get in the party van and the bras are like, yeah, Josh is like, I'm going to get some pussy to that bro. We'll watch my back.
Starting point is 00:50:33 So they're all a baker sees Nico. They get to the cabana, I guess, before the party bus, right? Yeah. Well, they go to like a place to hang out and drink, which is like a cabana place And they're all hanging out there for the day and that's when Baker breaks out her seminal song Yeah So Josh and Nico are walking on the beach and he's like, yeah, we got a new boss in. He's a douchey and on the in the cabana in case I can move quick. I'm yard
Starting point is 00:51:14 y meeting family. Welcome to a relationship on a boat. That's what I said. I don't think it can be long term, but I don't want to squirm because we're in tie quarters. If only these people knew how much I hated them, then I would be so happy. But they can never know. So let's see, basically, the go out, EJ and Baker at the end of the night are like, So let's see basically the go out EJ and Baker at the end of the night are like Not knowing whether they should hook up EJ's like do I hug her do I kiss her do I let her go? And Baker's like should we check on those mouthhows and he said I'm going in I'm going in I'm going in Yo, and then she kicks and in his eyes on accident going in yo and then she kicked sand in his eyes on accident.
Starting point is 00:52:05 I got. He's like, I wish I would have worn shorts to do but instead I wore jeans to it. I never felt this way to do when people would be in so mean. Well, all right. Sorry I got standing right to get to remember way to do when people would be in so mean to do. Whoa. All right. I got to get through them with this scene.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Not going to make out. Huh? Whoa. Downing for the round in. All right. So they get on the party bus and Nico's like, freco and equals getting out here. And that's some Josh's like, we're looking for
Starting point is 00:52:41 person in night. We're looking for person in tonight. Here I am. Oh, that's Jen doing her counterpart She's doing like crazy eyes and Josh is like yeah, she's got crazy eyes, but I do her and she's like Where'd she go Where'd she go? Where'd she go? Not finishing one damn song issue. So then they finally wind up back on the yacht after this whole afternoon of drinking and maybe coming close to flirtations, etc. And EJ is like, whoa, my fear black, whoa.
Starting point is 00:53:21 If you've got dirty feet, go clean him up. Baker clean your feet. No, okay. Hey, Josh, let's see the bottom of your feet. Hold me, go fuck yourself. What? Ooh. And he's like, those brothers are dicks.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Like brother like brother. And Josh is like, well, I'm not gonna clean my feet. And he's like, you're on our yacht. He's's like your feet with dirty it's like yeah and he cleaned them like the dumb is exactly he's like I'm cleaning my feet right now and I'm asking you to clean your feet and then I like Nico that he goes well congratulations why don't you tell my brother how it tastes I'm like doesn't make any sense also I loved how the the the I loved how the caption literally spelled congratulations, C-O-N-G-R-A-S-H-L-A-S-H-U-N-S.
Starting point is 00:54:11 Congratulations. Why did you tell my brother how it tastes? He's like, what, my dirty feet? Well, it doesn't taste good, so that's when I'm cleaning them and your brother's cleaning them, too. Like, fuck you! Fuck you. Who do you think you are? Someone who's in charge of keeping this built clean? Huh? Yeah, I am. Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant Because we're all below. DECK!
Starting point is 00:54:50 And that brings us to the end of below deck the musical. Yeah, it's great. What fun, effing times you got. Yeah, that was that was a great musical. I was for those of you who are still here at the end. Thank you for being with us. And we will see you tomorrow. There's not going to be a podcast. So don't forget that we'll be coming out after we do our live show. The re-task will be some two cheers. So we will talk to you later on this weekend and the rest of you will see you in San Francisco. Can't wait see all then everyone.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Bye everybody! Byeee! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.

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