Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: Chugging Along

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

It looks like Sunshine is running out of daylight on Below Deck as he oversleeps and continues to annoy the heck out of his crewmates. And in the interior, a tin of caviar threatens to undermine the entire operation.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watcher Crappens, a podcast about all that crap. We just love to talk about on ye old bravo, I'm Ben Mandelker, also for Game Brain podcast, and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious. Man who knows how to dock a yacht, it's Ronnie Carram, what's going on?

You bet your bottom dollar got damn it! You know how to put out a fender and you won't sleep in. Ronnie, what's going on? How are you today? I'm good, thank you, what's going on? How are you today? I'm good. Thank you. How's everything going? Just grand. We're back on the Blow Deck train,

which is a mixed metaphor, because it's about about a boat. We took a week off because we're like, we just can't, it's like, it's too much for us. And then people are like, how dare you? How dare you ignore Blow Deck? And we're like, yeah, we really can't ignore Blow Deck. So we're back.

Oh, here we are. But you know what though, the week that we missed, I watched last week's. It was fun, it was good. It was not an amazing episode. So it was a perfectly fine episode to skip. I mean, there was like a lot of cleaning, there was someone who was acting like an asshole,

so we got too drunk to eat dinner, usual stuff. But you know what, I'm glad we came back. Yeah, I have to say, I watched it without taking notes because, you know, I still watch the damn thing. I still like to show. But I was like, I'm going to tell you about. Yeah, I have to say, I watched it without taking notes because, you know, I still watched the damn thing. I still like the show. But I was like, I'm not going to take notes.

I don't know what the hell happened because you can really, I don't know how people know what's happening on the show if you don't take notes. I mean, how else do you pay attention? I was scrolling through my phone and then it's one of those shows you have to watch. Like you can't just be on your phone scrolling because I just know that somebody left a door open and Eddie got super mad. And then the chef couldn't find caviar. I was like, wow, I have to take notes on this every week. I'm not going to know what's going on on Belodic.

It's definitely a lot of stuff happens. This week, the big drama was that the new guests that are on the boat are all foodies and They want to have it. They're doing a 50th birthday party and they want caviar and Rachel's all excited But she can't find the caviar because what she thought was caviar was just salmon roast So she's like I can't find the caviar. I'm gonna punch someone. I'm gonna punch someone in the fucking scroud him Yeah, I'm gonna put someone in the fucking scroud Yeah, I'm gonna bet someone in the fucking scrum. Um, so it's February 21st and she's in the kitchen going crazy. I'm gonna murder the fuck out of somebody.

And she's like, you know what? Francesca, Francesca, we have a problem. What was wrapped up as caviar is actually salmon roe. And Tyler's like, can I help you? She's like, I'm not nice right now, Tyler. Get out of my face, Tyler. I'm not nice. Shane. Shane. I hope you check I'm not nice right now Tyler get out of my face I'm not nice shame shame

Yeah, he has a Tyler enemy he really does Tyler really does he has a he has Real Tyler energy, but he's actually a shame, which is such a shame thing to do Which is to give off Tyler energy? So shame I changed it don't worry every bit I changed it in my notes as we went on, but I guess I left a straight Tyler. I like this. It's actually one of my favorite traditions with the Blow Duck recaps. Is that sort of early in the season, you tend to rename some of the cast members and like it sticks in your head and it's just so I mean look it's just so many white guys, you know, it's like James Taylor Shane Eddie Brian, Brian Jane, Yeah, yeah, so well, it's a lot and especially he does give off a very strong Tyler vibe I'm surprised I haven't called anybody a Chad because there are like everybody on the show as a Chad

You know all the guys on the show are such chads. Yeah. Or I'm surprised I haven't called, you know, Eddie to me reads a little bit like a John. So I'm surprised I haven't called him a John. Yeah, he does. He looks like someone with his dad's name, like a John or a Robert. He does. Yeah.

He's got Robert vibes. Yeah. So Shane wants to help her. So get out of here. So then the guests, they're talking about white wine tonight. Yeah, they're like contrasting it because like Rachel's losing her mind. Like where's this fucking caviar and the guest's up there being like, I think I'm gonna wear white tonight. I think I'm gonna wear this tonight.

You know, it's like upstairs downstairs. Yeah, because I just have white night. I have several options. And I was like, it's a below deck. It's an every downstairs. Yeah, because I just have white night. I have several options. And I was like, it's a below deck. It's an every night white night. So, um, yeah, so Rachel's like losing her mind. She's like, it's some bullshit fucking lump fucking fierce fucking lump fierce gather fucking shit black pebbles that are these fish around The line. So then Ashley's like, well, she's totally bonkers, but I'm used to it because my sister is a chef back home

and she is the best chef. But we always say the chef is roved. Don't say anything. No sudden movements back away from the chef. And then I just can imagine Ashley's like walking around her house and like, the ship is arrived. Mummy? This isn't the room.

The ship is arrived. It hurts us to probably hate it. Every time they say that, the ship probably hates it. I know that's probably why she gets mad in the first place. The ship is a roll. So there's an English guy on this boat and he's like, can I trouble you for an espresso, please? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, sir, sir. This is below deck, it is not pronounced espresso.

Yeah, it's called espresso and you left off the other part, which is martini. Drash, trash. So the guests also, the Rachel's losing her mind, and the guests ask for a tour of the boat tonight. So that's something that's on the horizon. And so finally Rachel is able to get on the phone with the provisioner.

Wow, look at that. Somebody actually calling the provisioner themselves. I mean, this was an amazing scene. And I hope that douchebag from below deck Mediterranean Tom James Shay Matthew. Robert. Whatever his namean. Tom James Shay Matthew, Robert. Tom. Whenever his name was Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom.

Tom, I hope Tom saw this and just felt stupid. I mean, what sort of chef? What sort of chef? Access to call him a professional himself. I mean, it's ridiculous. He was fucking happy on there. What do you get? You had a cucumber, it's not even sliced, and then they want me to slice the cucumber, but it's supposed to be a caveat on the first place.

It's ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous. She's like, ah, provisional person. Hello, it's me. it's absolutely ridiculous. She's like, uh, provisionary person, hello, it's me. I went to look over the provisions and all I had is Sam and Ro. And he's like, oh, that's weird because everything I have here says it was in the same pouch. She's like, yeah, it's not. So then Francesca is talking to Captain Lee. And she's like, where have the guests

would like to have your sock drove? That's all right. They wanna see things that they haven't seen on the boat before. So I told him if Elizabeth starts doing something correctly, I'll point them in their direction. And then the guests are like playing with water choices and everything.

And then one of the guys is like, hey, what are 20 year olds have on us, am I right? And then we cut to like one of the women on the jet ski, just getting thrashed around. Like, like we've never seen before. Like it's, she looked like, you know, she looked like a, like a teddy bear being thrashed by a shark or something.

If that's something a shark will do. So then we see Shane talking to Izzy and they're at the slide and he's like, so do we like take that to like take air out of it? And she's like, yes. It's like it's tough being the one who's struggling. I mean, here I am, a white guy who looks good and I went to Berkeley and I was struggling there too. And then somehow I emerged with 3.5 GPA.

I mean, and all I had to do was sleep with all my professors, but that was hard too. Mm, yeah, I just don't wanna fail because it's embarrassing. Can we please show my make America green again? Picture, that would be great. Okay, my work here is done. And so he's trying to pull in the slide and he's like,

it's heavy. As he's like, it's heavy. As he's like, it's 400 pounds. So he's like, no way. She's like, I can't believe him. So I love how competent this, I love how competent Shane has made as he look. Because in the beginning of season, when Izzy was inside, she was just like such an idiot

and couldn't do anything right. And now that she's outside, she's like a badass, just probably because she's next to Shane. Yes, well, it's like how Elizabeth look like a badass next to her on the inside. Yeah, that's true too. It's just a Russian doll of terrible on this one. Yeah.

So Francesca and Ashling are setting up and she's like, oh, thank God for Ashling. She's like me. She puts her heads down, she gets it done. She sees a doorway. She walks through it There's a table needs a fork. She puts a fork on it. That's my Aussie girl The ship has arrived. Okay, you don't have to say that around me. I know what you're trying to say So she's like okay and in In contrast, let's radio stupid face Elizabeth and see what her stupid face is up to.

Elizabeth, what are you up to? She's like, I'm getting things ready for the beach pic there. God, what do you think I'm sitting on my ass? It's like Elizabeth, you are wiping a tape cassette. We don't even know how you got that. So then they're hauling in the slide and, you know, Eddie's talking about it, excuse me, trying to give Shane the least number of opportunities to fuck up, but of course she still fucks up. And then back over to Rachel, she looks like she's gonna cry in the kitchen.

She just really needs that row. I's gonna cry in the kitchen. She just Really needs that row. I wonder where you got that idea. She goes. Yeah, I'm gonna fucking cry! So then Eddie has to go pick up the drum player, the Steel Drum Player, and James is calling Stain and Izzy, and he's like, I need help on the Sunday, Izzy. We've got a lot to do and not much time to do it. I'm like, oh, I can't wait to see what James fucks up right now.

Yeah, and then Eddie heads off on the tender to get the steel drum guy. And Shane is doing that thing where he's trying to show that he's really on top of everything and he really, really cares. So he's like, he's like, radio's, and he's like,enders Eddie fenders fenders because I guess there's some little fenders on the tender and he's like I'm going to

murder that boy like what are you doing like nitpicking your boss. This is not how you like endure yourself. Yeah James is like you know this is your fault Tizzy. You told him to step it up and ever since then now look at them trying to do things, right? Do not encourage people. So then we hear from the provisioner that he's sending over 125 grams of caviar and it's going to be a jolly harbour doc at 6.45 pm and surely nothing couldn't go wrong. And then Francesca just starts naming a lot of different glasses to Elizabeth. She's like, all right, he's what we need for tonight water glasses one glasses champagne glasses Rocks glasses small water glasses large water glasses rock rock glasses champagne glasses and Prosecco glass have I made enough list to make you confused yet?

So let me read that back to you Capri pants goldfish Doritos Bridgetable I literally said none of those things. So then Eddie comes back with the steel drum player and Rachel's like, Eddie, Eddie Rachel, can we get a tender and a holly Roger doc at 645? I need that to be said 20 times this episode. So Jolly Roger Doc 645, Jolly Roger Doc 645, I'm gonna fucking kill myself out. Did somebody ask for Jolly Roger Doc 645 I'm gonna fucking kill myself out Did somebody ask for Jolly ranchers now Elizabeth get out of here I found the Jolly Ranch is glass That's a rag you're wrong. I'm so many different fronts

So then Francesca sees Elizabeth and she is Elizabeth what are you up to? Which is like, you know she's about to go in on her because she's established and now she's just gonna always go. Elizabeth, what are you up to? Yeah, and Elizabeth is where you are. Elizabeth is like, I need two more water glasses and she's like, well, do you know where they are?

She's like, no, that's what I'm saying. I can't find them. She'll say, they're in the water glass cabinet. Where all the other water glasses have always been. Yeah. So Rachel, I thought you were gonna say something. So Rachel's getting ice on standby for caviar. She'll say, I'm gonna lose my shit.

I have all my mise en place for the caviar. I mean, time's ticking, I saw a stand by for caviar and she's like, I'm gonna lose my shit. I have all my Mies on place for the caviar and he times ticking, ticking, ticking, ticking, ticking to the future. Yeah. And then we see guests and she's getting ready downstairs and she goes, my plants night is not to be awkward, which I was like, that really speaks to me. Yeah, I love that the older ladies are all nervous around Captain Lee. It's so cute. It's like, I know. Because it's dinner with Captain Lee and I, you know. So it's 14 minutes before dinner,

and Eddie is still not back with a caviar. A dinner's gonna be at seven. Caviar is supposed to be, you know, attained at 6.45. Then we got 14 minutes until dinner time. And so Captain Lee is gonna start his tour and he's gonna try to like really draw it out to like give them as much time for that caveat to come in.

And he's like, while if the caviar doesn't show up, I'm sitting here with my dick in my hand, which admittedly I shouldn't be taking out my dick on a tour, but sometimes you just gotta show him everything if you know what I'm saying. Alright guys, alright. This here is the bow bell, alright? This is when you're in trouble, you're what I'm saying. All right guys. All right. This here is the bow bell All right, this is when you're in trouble. You're in real goddamn trouble This ain't the end of the show take a bow. All right, you're standing on get applied and feel like a rock star It's the oh shit. It's not me's coming. I'm gonna have my nuts in my ear canals if I get out of this one a life sweet

Jesus don't take me. I do have to die. All right, we got that all right. Fun fact about the fun fact about the word bow. It's spelled B O B O W can be pronounced bow or bow two different words. I don't know what the proper word is but I don't know if it's a homophone or homophane or whatever who gives a who gives a flying fuck am I right. But the point is this one one spelling two words. Have I stretched out this tour long enough can we move on? Okay, I'm seeing a bell. All right. Here's a bell. Have you heard the bell? I hope not because if you heard it that means you're dead. All right. You're fucking dead I wanted the ladies is like well. Oh captain Lee. I wanted to ring that bell when they got on

I'm glad I'm afraid or I would be in some serious shit with you You got damn right. If you rang that bell, I'd throw you overboard and say, hey, sharks, there's a lady ready for you to eat and then eat you up. And I'd say now she's dead. Okay, everyone, that's a true story. So we take some, let me take some. I'm not excited about this true.

Not thrilling, but hey, what are you going to do? It's an intermission and we're back. All right. So this year's the bridge. Okay, computers, these computers, I mean, they're terrible. Look, regular computers had bigger joysticks than I have here. And one of the guys was like, that's what she said. I have real original. Are you, maybe you want to add a winning to that? Do you want to add a winning? There we go. Anyway, my dick is still out, so you can actually see there's joysticks on my dick.

So there's a lot of things to look at right now. Anyone want to buy my high five, my hand, with my dick in it, didn't think so. Get the hell out of here, kids. Has anyone ever played patty cake before with a joystick? If you want to play patty cake with the joystick right now, I know it doesn't sound like it makes sense,

but give it a try, I think you're gonna enjoy it. So the guests are seated at the table table and the main charter guy, Tim, is like, uh, or maybe a singleist guy forget, but one of the guys is like, Kabir is coming and you only touch the Kavya with the pearl spoon. Right, everybody. And I know that because I'm a foodie of foodie. Yeah. And Rachel's like, the K caviar is still not quite there.

And Rachel's like, God, he eats my guts. I like my Rachel's the same as Captain Lee, but I can't help it. I haven't been able to find a solution. It's exactly the same. I just mix a little carton in there. I try to go high for her and then high down here for him, but in the end, I just do this for both of them.

So, but here comes the caviar. Here comes caviar, here comes caviar, coming down caviar, Lane. Wow. Yes. So, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I was lost on my notes.

So the steel drum player is playing and Francesca is just hovering really awkward around the gas sitting at the table, just looking at them super. She's like basically captain sanding it right down the scene and so Eddie comes back and is he going to the bow to get it and then Francesca's like um happy birthday everybody now I've put a menu of each of your play settings. The first dish is KVF everybody. You'll notice that for the dishes, the first line is size 16 font and then the subsequent

lines are size 12 font within a tellyx. Have I stretched this out long enough? Has the camera be alright? No? Alright, the font is zap chanceery for some of them. And now you'll see if you have time's RAM in as well. A little winged thing, good luck figuring that one out. I've managed to put pearl spoon in wingedings. Can anyone find it on the page? The card stock has a rating of 54 lube. Oh, all right, here comes the caviar. If that were on the menu, I would have written here comes the caviar. If that were on the menu, all it would have written here comes the caviar in comic scenes. Which reminds me, have you heard the old Christmas soon? Here comes caviar, here comes caviar, right down caviar line.

Then? Rachel drops some caviar, check. I'm like, after all that, you dropped the caviar on the floor, Rachel. Really? Well, I think when things are $700 a tin, no matter what they are, like a small amount for $700, you're gonna drop it, you know? You're gonna get that sweet, sweet cocaine,

it's gonna go all over your sink, I guarantee. And every single time people, I was furious. I was like, I cannot believe she just dropped all that caviar. Ooh, so she's serious, she's like, Houston Blanese, here's the tongs and Glasses guy the main guy looks kind of upset, but it's just because he's getting into foodie face mode because people who say that they're Foodies they have to make faces like they're pooping while they eat because that's how foodies eat

Delicious delightful can you taste the egginess of the caviarness? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Rachel now she's in a much better mood so she's tasting her food because that's tits Mickey. Still working on her voice. So she presents like this is scampy with fennel prawns served from the side. Okay here's what you do. Take the cup, turn it over onto your plate. All right. And they're like wow. Foodie face is like. Foodie face is like, oh, I'm turning it over on its side.

Oh God, you think we're in good hands everybody Mm-hmm And then downstairs James and Izzie are in the mess and he's like, all right, Izzie I want to nip this in the bud, but I saw hair in the bathroom and it was really gross And it reminded me of how much weight I'm losing because soon I'll be as skinny as that hair So please, please don't remind me that I can't work out and she's like, well, sorry He's like, well, it comes off of your head and comes into my ass.

So it would be nice if we changed that. And then we used to get served barada cheese. And she's got one of those little syringe things on top of that pet or something, whatever. And it's got a palsamic dressing in it. And she's like, well, so you would, so you inject it by squeezing. And then the guest is like, that's what she said.

I'm like, wow, wow, really just, I wanna say they're really bringing that one back, except it never really left. It never really left. It never really left. And you know, I have to say, I kind of appreciate the commitment to it through every time.

But so, because the important thing with that is just that you commit, you know? You know, I have to say I kind of appreciate the commitment to it through every entire episode. Because the important thing with that is just that you commit. You know? You can't just drop that once and then never say it again. You have to say it every episode, right? 10 times. Yeah, you have to. I think the rule is that if you're over 40, 40,

you have to say that's what she said for the rest of your life. That's just what it is. Maybe the point I like. It's like it's like not. It's the new knot. It's the new knot. I love knot. I's the new knot. I love knot.

I have a friend on Facebook, a couple of friends from the God when I was a teenager and we still put knot on each other's outfit for her birthday. I was like, sad knot, death knot day. No, sad knot, death knot, night knot. I don't think that's how you do it though. You over did it.

But that's the point. Sad Mott is happy. Death Mott is birth. And Night Mott is day. It's co-ed band, it's co-ed, okay. It's a very mature co-ed. Really high level, really high level. Boy, this, that's what she said is the new knot. Also, why can't he say it for once?

Who? He, if she can say it, why can't he say it for once? Who? He, if she can say it, why can't he say it? That's what she said. But that's what, does he get to say anything? But that's what he said too. Like sometimes he says it. It's not always she said, that's what he said, you know? Like, I don't know, I can't think of anything.

If I think of anything that that's what he said, then I'll say it in the recap, okay? Okay. Okay. Well, I'll keep an ear out for it. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each

episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. So one of the ladies is like, so, do you like this Captain? Are we making you laugh? Am I being awkward right now? And he's like, ah, I'm a simple man. I'm into a good off.

That's what she said, joke. Right. And then down in the kitchen, or the galley, Rachel's just asking for like a bowl to put the parmesan in. And Elizabeth's like a bowl like with a spoon, you know, like a bowl. And she's like, yeah, it's just anything that parmesan would go into. She's like, yeah, it's just anything that Parmesan

would go into. She's like, what about a scoff? You want to put it in the scoff? It's like, no, not a scarf. You know what this would look like, right in a show. All right, let's try this show. I got you some crystals. No, you can't, that's not how we need to serve the Parmesan,

not sprinkled it on something. So Rachel goes up and she serves like Caribbean lobster base with a puff pastry cloud on top because she's serving a foodie and creme fraiche caviar and the guy's like, no! God, that's foodie-licious, loved it. And then, uh, so Bucco comes out for the next course and there's bone marrow and the British guy's like, that's a moh, it's astonishing. So they're just like really happy.

It actually all looks very delicious and Captain Lee himself says, that's what he said, he said. That's what he said. That's what he said. I'm gonna do it literally. I did it literally, that's what he said. In my 35 years as a charter captain,

I've never been to a press. And that is literally what I said. That is literally what he said, and what he said, I mean, he and my Lee, I mean me. We all rhyme and we're all the same. They also have another good, dermal Elizabeth moment, where the also Bucos coming out.

And she goes, I'll sell Bucos. And Eddie's like, Bucco. Wow. Eddie has to fix it for you. She got Bucco shamed. So then Lee is like, well, you know what, Rachel's the complete package.

She's everything you want in a charter chef, which means that now she's gonna go downhill because that's what happens every season, right? Remember, what's his face? Last on, on blow Blow Deck, Makiko. Kiko was wonderful. He was so, he did such great food. And they're like, you're doing great.

And then he likes to serve french fries for a big, I guess not. Oh, so Rachel is messing up her cake a little bit. It's time to get dessert ready. And she's like, fuck really ass. That's what he said. There you go. I did it.

That's what he said. I guess it just depends on which porn hub I did it. That's what he said. I guess it just depends on which porn hub you subscribe to. That's true. So then glasses, like I come saying and he sees the decanters and he's like, can we get these please? We need two bottles of cabanae and then something to put in these decanter things. So right. Yeah.

So they fill both the crafts up or decantors with red wine. And then he, the main guy is like, okay, so we have a tradition, Captain Lee, the longer you drink the wine, the longevity and the farther away the prosperity, because they're going to be chugging from the decanter. So they, uh, so they all get ready to open their mouths up one and get ready to take it all in. Yeah, that's what he said. Oh, middle of it. Is this kind of messed up the teak? He's like, yeah, sure.

It's fucking sorry. Eddie, we got enough to clean this up enough. What's he about to clean this up? And he's like, oh, get the cases of it. So they start shooting it and they're a disaster. Eddie's like, Eddie sends Shane down. And so they're shooting all this stuff and Tim's like, open your throat and just let it course down.

And they didn't put that's what she said in there. And that's when I was like, you're idiots. Yeah, you guys don't know when to that's what she said. Yeah, you guys just lost me. I was on your side until now. Yeah, it was the perfect moment. And it's like the perfect, that's what she said. Yeah, you guys just lost me. I was on your side until now. Yeah, it was the perfect moment. And it's like the perfect that's what she said seen because they basically are all like

guzzling from these crafts. And it's like going down their chin. They're making like, they're all like, they're making such a mess, but I have to say they're commitment. And the fact that it was just like all of them, I was kind of impressed with it. And I kind of was like, you know what, good for them.

This looks actually disgusting and like a lot of fun. And they want the captain to do it too. And he's like, listen, I've got one shirt, all right? You're gonna need me to bring the $1 or something. So they're like, oh my God, we're gonna get you a shirt. And then the lady is just start screaming and running around the boat like crazy. Yeah, it was, I actually was like kind of tickled and amused by this whole scene.

I got sort of seen where I should have been like these people are awful, but instead I was kind of like, they seem actually kind of fun. Hmm. Well, I feel like my parents hang out with them, and then they're like, oh my god, they're like our new family. And then a year later, they're all fighting and hate each other. Because they're all callics. Let's just face it guys.

So downstairs in his in his bed, Shane is face timing with his girlfriend. Um, and the girl's ever. So let's describe it. Okay. So Shane is on the phone with his girlfriend and she is exactly who you think she is. She's like, oh my god, Shane, it's like crazy. Like, wait me, everybody's relationship is like falling apart and like, I'm like lucky. Like, we don't have like that. And he's like, yeah, it's definitely a mature relationship. And then he's just falls asleep sucking his thumb on the phone while she's still on FaceTime. And she's like, Sheen, seriously? Sheen! I was wondering if he was sucking his thumb. I was like,

that can't be. He pulled it out, but at first he's like sucking his thumb and sleeping on the bone. Wow. By the way, I have to mention this. I just kept letting the episode play is one does, and I watched part of the Watch What Happens Live, and it was Rachel and Shane.

I mean, who does that to Andy? Like poor guy, you know? Like sometimes we can get pretty hard on Andy on this show, but that's just cruel to do to him, okay? So Rachel's okay, she's like kind of serious. And Andy is just such a dick to shame the whole time. He's like, really? Yeah, and the thing where it's like,

watch with tonight, I'll watch what happens. I'm coming up. Shane, glad you could be awake for this. She's like, hey. I've been, every single thing in this show is like, Shane, we got a question from Rhonda from, from Rudy Town. Okay, now here it is. Do you ever say it wakesank stupid, you're stupid.

God, you're dumb dumb. Alright. Wow. I thought Andy would have been into Shane, but I guess maybe Shane's not quite as type. More Shane. I was cracking up. Like literally everything he said was like, God, you're dumb, huh? Poor Shane. Poor sweet sweet Shane. And he was in like his dad's bright green blazer or something. Oh, of course. Plus his heart. Okay, so the cake is finally ready. And then there's a lady like shimming around the captain now.

And they sing Happy Birthday to Foodie Tim, who's still making poop face because there's food in the room. I'm very serious about food. Yeah. And they're all, so the cake is up there. And then James and Eddie are talking about how everyone's getting along and it seems like really nice. And Eddie's like, yeah, this is when it's all gonna start

turning. Like watch Elizabeth have like a rough night out and watch it all go downhill, which actually seemed like a pretty accurate read on the situation. And then we have, and then downstairs, Ashling face times her mom, and her mom is just like, exactly the mom I thought she'd have. She's like, hey, whoa, you, how are you? We missed you. Did you hear about Kararine of Oris?

They've designed 700 people in China. Get a mask, Ashling. Regardless, Ashling, get a mask. It's A ashrine get a miles it's asa asa is her mom yeah she's had a baby very young it's your mother asha if you wonder how paper comes out make sure you don't stick it on up anyone's bomb it's Karuna team aslings Lake. When I left Australia, we knew about Coravid 19, but I'm hoping it's not as serious as they make it out to be. I mean, we all know about Overdramatic Stance, right? Here comes the chef. The chef is here. So

Francesco sang a night to the guest and she tells Elizabeth. She's like, all right, listen, I'm going to go ahead and keep cleaning, but you need to check on the guest every 10 minutes, all right? All right. And then we all know how that's going to turn out. Yeah, Elizabeth, like, goes downstairs and the guests are up there just like waiting for wine, waiting for wine. Elizabeth is like downstairs and she's just bitching about work and she's like, it's just as hot.

I mean, like I try so hard. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, she's going on and on and on. And we see this timer. It says like 13 minutes is Elizabeth checked. 30 minutes, 42 minutes. It's like crazy. I would be going nuts up there.

Yes, and it's being intercut with Francesca talking to Rachel and she's like, oh my god, this girl She just I'm just this girl's terrible or whatever and then is he goes to Elizabeth Wait, is he an Elizabeth? Oh, yes, is he an Elizabeth and is he's like you seem sad and she's like no But I'm like smiling though like what do I seem sad because I'm like trying to smile I suck listen, I'll get it the interior's not fun. You're inside the boat 24-7 working under like a dictator. I'm glad I got out of that one. I'm just like, I just wanna swim and live my life,

but I gotta work. It's like you're working on a yacht. You're not swimming right now. So finally, the guest comes downstairs and he's like, we're dying up there. And then, Elizabeth does that thing that's so annoying. I hate when people do this. She's like, oh, I was just about to come up. It's like, you're dying up there. And then, Elizabeth does that thing that's so annoying. I hate when people do this. She was like, oh, I was just about to come up.

It's like, you're 42 minutes late. You're 42 minutes, don't tell me you're just about to come up and try to make almost like exonerate yourself, like say you're sorry. And Francesca's like, I am mortified. 99% of the time, I have a poker face, but I'm super, super pissed off right now. All right, now, Elizabeth, get over here. Now, here's but I'm super super piss off right now all right now this bit get over here man here's what I'm gonna say to you like you think she's gonna rip into

her but she's just like me Elizabeth please make sure they're a priority I see to check on them every 10 minutes all right I'm sure she's do that they've had such a good time up until now she's like she yelled at me. Oh, I know. That was a bit like loses her mind. She's like, when Francesca acts like this towards me, it really pisses me off. What? She gets like politely angry at you

because you weren't doing what she told. She asked you to do, because you were bitching about her like downstairs. Like she wasn't even being mean when she said, like, I asked you to do this do this yeah she was being nice I thought and she's like there's this way so direct and people that is still like human it's frustrating and then a guest says are you all right and she just looks at him like no but I'm not gonna say anything about it it's like oh my god with you and she's like I mean

it's like she couldn't go to bed without giving me shit for not having checked on the gas it's like, oh my god, with you. And she's like, I mean, it's like she couldn't go to bed without giving me shit for not having checked on the gas. It's like, because you didn't check on the gas and that she like had to think about this before she went to bed. Yeah, um, she's lame. And uh, so Francesca's like, yeah, Rachel, well, she's not following through then she's just not ready. And Rachel's like, well, I like Elizabeth, so I don't want to be in the middle of this because like if I get in the middle of this It's just gonna hit the fan and then the shit hits a fan it might come down hit the caviar Which is on the floor which might be safe. Well goddamn it. I'm gonna fucking kill myself The chef is here. Go to sleep Ashling

So then the guests so then Elizabeth is, you want me to bring up any more booze and this one goes, oh, Gash, you don't need to bring up any more alcohol upstairs. Yeah, please, please don't, please don't. So James is talking to Elizabeth and he's like, well, I guess that's it then. I'll just sit here at the bar. I'm just like, why are you sitting at the bar? Like, you're going to have a drink. So I go, I want a drink.

I want the risk of it. I want like, oh, I want a drink. I want the risk of it. I want the riskiness of just having a drink. I'll get you one. She's like, you're gonna have to be more sneaky than just sitting at the bar. Sparks flying. That's what she said. So now's the next morning in Rachel's making breakfast

and it's 7.37 a.37am and Eddie is like, Shane, he's sunshine. Why don't you one deck? Why don't you one deck? He's like, oh, my phone died. And he's an hour and 38 minutes late for a shift. Yikes. Yikes. So Shane comes down and he's helping Izzy with trash and stuff.

And he's like, thanks for covering. Like, it should probably get my radio to yeah yeah you probably should yeah so then Eddie of course goes up to Captain Lee and he's like well I have something to report Captain Lee she's sunshine was sleeping in bed at 745 I mean I went to sleep at 145 I still woke up at 730 and there's sunshine still asleep at 745 I had to wake him up and then yesterday I woke up and the laser rate door was open. The laser rod, whatever the fuck you call it. And wait, there's more. Yesterday I came back from errands and he was asleep with the cover on his eyes

and said, do not disturb. And then another thing, he took my kite and he ruined it. He broke my kite. God damn it. and he ruined it, he broke my cart. Gah, dammit! So then they put Jeskies out and Shane is, you know, he starts explaining that his alarm, he was actually really bummed because he had set his alarm to go off 30 minutes early because he wants to be like really, really good. But that the charger situation in the room is kind of fucked up because Eddie keeps the charger

up by his bed. So like, it sounds almost like Eddie kind of like hogs the charger, which is so added. Like yeah, I'm the boss, I get the charger. Well, get a charger, I don't get a charger thing with two cords. I don't, can you get a break? I don't understand.

Leave your phone in your room during the day so it can charge if that's the case. I mean, I don't understand it, but I'm still saying I think it's I don't I'm not I'm not exonerating Shane. He is he's truly been an idiot, but like I also I'm just just want to remind people that Eddie is also an asshole. Yeah, it's a charge char, a charge, a charger. So he's down in the toy area, whatever that thing. The Lazarati door place. And he's like, so has everyone's morning. And he's like, it was great. All that work I did this morning for two felt great. And she's like, Hey, man, you're gonna say anything about this morning? He's like, well, what the heck am I supposed to say? I fucked up, bro. I was like, huh.

Pluck your phone in. Yeah. So now people are waking up and Ashling tells Francesca that things are pretty tidy this morning. But then they footage shows like all sorts of crap that Elizabeth just left out. And then Izzy starts, Izzy gossips to James that Sunshine slept in and everyone starts ordering eggs.

So it's just like morning activity. Yes. And Elizabeth checks in with Rachel. And as she tells us last night, didn't end well for me. Like to get yelled at by your boss in front of your co-workers sucks. Like it just can't win. You were not yelled at.

This reminds me of this show like so many times when people are like, you're not doing your job. And I'm like, but you don't inspire me to do my job. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Don't throw your ass over board. You say that to me. Exactly, but the yelling thing, like she was yelling at me.

She literally did not yell at you. We watched it. So, so, meanwhile Eddie is just like praising Izzy and saying that she's like a real badass and that she doesn't take shit from anyone so he's gonna let her take up the anchor. Because guess what, it's time for anchor drama. Bring up that anchor. Yeah.

So she does it. And then everyone's getting in their whites and stuff and Rachel thinks the ladies for helping with a great breakfast and Shane, Here goes Shane with the ropes. Here comes some rope drama. What we've all been waiting for. He's like, sell this rope. Does it matter like which end we put in the dock? They're like, yes.

Yes. So the yacht is heading in and like, they have to be dropping fenders. And Shane's asking all these questions. So Eddie can't be on top of everything. And then Shane is not dropping the fenders the way he needs to be dropping the fenders. And Lee is starting to lose his mind.

He's like, there's one more. There's one more, one more, one more f- where's that goddamn fender? That got a fender misplaced goddamn it. And then the gas to like, here's where it makes this big money. And everything's going to shit. Are we gonna get it? Oh God, where's my stern?

Do I have control here? Is my goddamn stern? I've got wind coming. It could hit the dock. This is a goddamn disaster. I don't have my stern blaster. Son of a bitch, not dead. And that's fine.

Everything's fine. Everything's fine. You get some. After a commercial, everything's fine. Yeah. And he's like, is anybody doing anything on a fucking Stern? God damn it! We just see Shane bouncing around all over the place.

Yeah. And Shane's like, where do I tell you it off to? And he's like, God damn it, Eddie. So he's like, who the fuck put those out? Whoever's at it, whoever it is, their ass is mine. And then he's like, God, I guess I have to do everything myself around here, dad. He's like, I'm fucking disaster.

If they think I'm pissed there, right? This isn't happening again. That's what I said. His puppy ass is still on the porch as far as I'm concerned, puppy ass. You know what I don't like? Baby sitting puppies on porches, right? Stupid puppy. Get some opposable thumbs so you can open a goddamn door. You dumb puppy. Yeah, maybe next time someone should put the puppy in the puppy pen, okay? Not on the porch. How about that? Who put a puppy on the deck for anyway?

So goodbye, everyone's leaving. And Tim Tim's like it's a cliche to say this. I was like of course it's the foodie. Come out with your cliche foodie. He's like it's a fast crash on that my life. Yeah. So they leave and then Captain Lee is talking to the crew. The deck crew is like that decking sucked. The first line that goes down is the forward spring line. That's the one that keeps us from hitting the... Goddamn duck! And then the winward crisscross. God, crisscross is gonna make you duck, duck!

You're gonna make you duck, duck! But did it make us duck? No, if you tie those all in, there's nothing that can go wrong. Puppy asses. And Eddie's like, well, can't fix stupid dad. And he's like, all right, kids to work kids. So is he apologizes to Eddie?

And he's like, it'll be fine, everyone. Just get to work, get to work. And then we see Shane go with his little mole scheme. He's like, I'll be in my room writing things. Windward, Port Foward spring, a Chris Cross apple sauce. Think I got it, think I got it. And it is like, we have to be up there at 01300 hours. And as 1258, he's like, oh, it's like,

what's on your watch, 1256? Oh, you better fix your watch. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Then, sayings like, you know what? I know I'm in the hot seat. Like if I perform at a, I need to perform it like a B and I'm currently like on an A, but then I have to do better than C and then come back to A and then take an app with B because like I'm exhausted.

Letters are hard. Yeah. Uh, so then is the tip meeting and Captain Lee compliments Rachel saying that the meal was outstanding her knowledge of food was outstanding, but there were some close calls. There are some people who are not performing where I think they should be at this time and that gives me pause for concern and that's all I'm going to say. I'll say one more thing. The person I'm talking about has a puppy ass and has a watch that's all I'm gonna say. I'll say one more thing. The person I'm talking about has a puppy ass and has a watch that's two minutes behind there or figure it out with those rear clues.

Yeah. So they get 20 grand, which is a pretty good one. And then Shane goes downstairs to put on his Marcel Barso Sunblock while everyone's working. And he's like, you know what, guys? He's stuck out of the deck hands. He's like, guys, I just want to apologize because like, I feel like Eddie's watching you more because like he watches everything I do. And is he's like, oh,

I get it. I always like that the first time. All mean, tell me to put on a flat sheet and watch me solve. All right. So Eddie goes to talk with Captain Lee and he's like, listen, you know, I feel bad because this charter he really was trying to set up a step up, but he was also an hour and a half late to his shift today. And Captain Lee's like, well, I imagine him being gone is in a whole lot different than having him here. I guess the only difference is that if I throw a chew toy his way, there's no puppy to pick

it up, but other than that, I don't even know how to handle. Eh, shame, shame, me, shame, shame, me, God, dammit, God, dammit, come on in here. So he comes in and she's like, just another day of paradise. And he doesn't have his radio on while the captain's radioing him. He's like, why doesn't this god damn surprise god me, damn?

Undam nah Darn not We need to have a conversation that's what we said Get it And saying looks like you just heard about the BP oil spill for the first time I mean poor guy just looks like completely wrecked like you just heard about the BP oil spill for the first time. I mean, poor guy just looks like completely wrecked. Oh, poor guy. I don't know. I can't imagine he's gonna,

he's gonna make a pass the next five minutes of the next week's episode. Yeah. Well, I know that's how it goes, everybody. So we will see you guys back here tomorrow as you, with the podcast about something else. Who knows what's it gonna be this time Nobody knows nobody knows, but it'll probably be either real house as of Orange County or real house as a Salt Lake city We're gonna find out as long as you subscribe to us

You just sit back and relax and the episodes will come to you Yeah, and those are both gonna be video episodes too So if you want the video ask you get them on crap and it's on to man on patreon Those are both going to be video episodes too, so if you want the video to get them on Krapins on to Matt on Patreon. Well, everybody, thank you so much for being here, we will talk to you next time. Hi. Hi. Watch what Krapins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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