Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: I Am The Captain Now

Episode Date: October 26, 2021

It's a new season of Below Deck, but Captain Lee is nowhere in sight. Instead we have Captain Sean, the new thorn in Eddie's side. And for that, we are grateful. (But we want Lee back). What do you think of the new crew?Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is not Captain Lee. It's Ronnie Kerrum.

Hi, Ronnie. Well, how are you? I am so good, because I feel like it's been forever since we talked about below deck, right? Oh my god, it's been so long, really. Like seven days or so. I need to see someone clean a toilet. I've been going crazy over here. This is this is below deck premiere day.

And you know, I'm a I love below deck. I'm a big below deck fan. I love all the below decks. I'm you know, but this is I think's the first time that we've recapped below deck for a year straight. Because normally we do below deck, the below deck, and then we have like a few months off. And then we're refreshed, and we get to come back to below deck

and go into it. And the first year below deck sailing out, we didn't really cover it. I've casually watched it, but we didn't cover it. But we, of course, covered below deck sailing out this year because it was actually like amazing. This is now, we're doing it a full year below deck. We're going back to regular below deck today. Yeah. Here we are, full new season. They do start with a lot of energy though,

so I gotta give them that, you know? They do. It's always good to have a below deck, but you guys seriously, come up with something. Over there. I will say though, I actually, I really didn't enjoy this premiere. I feel like the energy was right.

I felt good about the energy and the characters. I felt below deck, Madd was not a great season, and so a kind of like, after below deck selling out, I was like really like, oh, I love below deck, and after below deck Madd, I was like really like, oh, I love blow deck. And after blow deck mad, I was kind of like, oh, I need a break. But I'm hoping this is going to sort of like bring me back. But before we dive into it, of course, just a reminder, our 10 year anniversary, Hunky

Dory tour is happening next year and tickets are on sale. So if you want to come see us live and help us celebrate 10 years of podcasting, please go get a ticket at watchacrapans.com tickets are selling actually very quickly and some of the venues have sold out. So just like we're going to 21 cities not gonna go through all of them just go to the website and you'll see whichever one is close to you or maybe it's close to a friend and you want to go travel and see your friend or your best friend or your sister slash daughter maybe you'll go with her okay but either way go check that out love to see you and you know life is good that's that yeah go get your tickets okay so here we are with below dex season nine the birds are chirping the ocean is gorgeous and we just hear any his voice over

St. Kits is absolute paradise. It seems untouched wild exotic volcanic Explosive Totally untouched except for the yachts that are parked on the side of it. Yeah, leaking shit all over the place It seems just like nature's the last little corner of nature that's been untouched. So we're gonna just go bleak our poop and oil on all the starfish. Excuse us. And then we start seeing clips of the season and how crazy nature is and it's Rachel. I eat faces up, I'll eat the cruise face for a fucking snack if you're a bunch of douche bags And Eddie is like being able to see the world experience other cultures. That's fucking yachting

I'm like you're setting up picnics So then um somebody jumps naked off the side of the boat someone's wearing a wacky dinosaur costume Rachel says, hashtag zero flex given. Ha ha ha ha. And then there's a dildo section to a wall. So we know it's gonna be a wacky season. Dinosaur wasn't dildos.

Yeah, and there's like other scenes. And then it goes six weeks earlier. I'm like, wait, earlier from what? Like, did we have a scene? There was no scene. It was a trailer. Like, it's six weeks earlier. I'm like, wait, earlier from what? Like, did we have a scene? There was no scene. It was a trailer. Like, it's six weeks before the trailer was produced. I was like, okay, they're just gonna throw that in there.

The last thing they showed was Heather. I wrote Blondie, but we know it's Heather, the cheese stew, saying, you either wanna be here or there's a ticket home and then she's breaking down into dress saying the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life It's like six weeks before the biggest mistake So then we hear Eddie 3.0 is back still out of shape still short, but now I'm the first officer got help me And then we meet our new captain, Nerd Alert.

Oh my God. And Eddie comes up to the bridge and he's like, Hello, Captain Sean, I'm Eddie Lucas. And the captain's like, uh, a pleasure, sir. He literally is like that Martin Short character mixed with true Alex be key because we always said that Eddie is like Alex Beketen But this guy's also very Michael J. Foxy and sort of his mannerisms, you know, yeah Oh my god, I can't believe you said Martin short. That is really a good call. He does look just like Martin short He has the same eyes

So he's like, oh, it's a pleasure. I was like, shit, how are we gonna differentiate our Shawn voice from our Eddie voice? Because it's gonna be from our Rachel voice, from our Captain Lee voice. This is all basically the same voice that I use for everything all in one episode. Because realistically, Eddie's voice is kind of deep and so we're down here and kind of like pompous. But we've always done him as like, the week of speed, so Mike is up here. Because he's like a little Alex be eating, but now we actually have an Alex be Keaton, and so now I'm like, wait a second.

What do we do by entire below deck universes? Shook it. Yeah, we're fucked. So Lee, we see a clip of Captain Lee calling Eddie, and he's like, I got some medical issues, kid. It's like, I hope it's nothing serious, dad. I had, I've been praying all night for you. He's like, well, I just had a little God damn it stuck in my throat.

They told me they were gonna baby me, and I said, I'd rather drag my dick through a field of rat traps and, it just coughed right out of me. God damn it! It flew right out. I'll be as good as new in a few days and my shirt with black and white palm trees on it. Don't you worry.

So then Captain Sean is like, well I'm glad you've been on the boat before because there have been a lot of changes. I threw on some new jet skis and a rescue tender. So as you can tell, brand new, my Sienna, I'm more like New Sienna. Am I right, everyone? High five, high five. Come on, Sian, I'm more like, New Sian, am I right? Everyone high five, high five. Come on.

He tells us, he tells us, I always want to see you with to round that next corner under that rock in the ocean. I guess that makes me an explorer. And then it comes to a picture of him posing in a shirt that says, Captain Awesome. I know, I was afraid he was going to bust into a polka-hontas, like just around the ribbon. So he's like, I got my first captain's license when I was 18 and I've always been

the role of Captain and I haven't been good at it, but I have had a lot of experience doing it. That was a joke. That was a joke. Hmm. So come on, you wanna take a tour so I can show you stuff that's new. And he's like, uh, okay, new dad, okay, step that, but I'm coming in as first officer. And I'm not sure what that entails. So he's either going a little tour and captain Sean, they go to like the, the boat club, whatever they call it, the deck club, you know what they call you know, the club, the thing was by the transom. And he's like, whatever they call it, the deck club. You know what they call, you know what the club, the thing was by the transom.

And he was like, oh, I want this, okay, kid, I want this cleaned up, otherwise, no dinner for you. Okay, clean this up. He's like, okay, you spent stepdad. So Eddie is really anxious, because he's never worked with Sean before, and he's already getting not great vibes, you know? So then, yeah.

So then he's like, oh, and a I also got some new jet skis over there. Check those babies out. He's like, whoa, those are 250s. And because yeah, I took those through a Northwest crossing twice because I like to look around every corner and see what's under every rock in the ocean. All the little critters are like, oh, there comes, here comes that nosy ass captain again. see what's under every rock in the ocean.

All the little critters are like, oh, there comes here, come that nosy ass captain again. Okay. Everyone down the way is going to pick up your rocks. All those corners in the ocean. So then we see Heather coming down the deck, or the doc, the doc with her Louis Vuitton bag. So we know that she's, and she already, we know she's elegante. Yeah, she already looks like an archvillain, right? Like she looks like someone, I didn't watch, I didn't watch Lovecraft Country,

but I feel like I saw a clip and there was someone on the craft country that looked like. No, you know who that lady looks like? Catherine Dennis from Southern Charm. She looks exactly like her, it's so crazy. She looks sort of like a 2020 version of Melanie Griffith sort of, you know? So she's like coming down the deck,

kind of looking scary and she's arriving. And then Eddie meanwhile, he's picked up his uniforms and he's in his room and he's like, VNX, awesome. I'll never wear those. Which like, how they're mad, I don't know why. You're not a Vnex lover. Well, no, no, I'm mad at Eddie being like,

oh, Vnex, just wear it, Eddie, just wear it. Yeah, everyone has something to say about the Vnex. So Heather meets the captain and only her bottom half of her mouth moves, I don't know if you notice this. I think she got her like, I'm going to be on TV, Botox. So the top of her, the top of, not just like her lips, like her whole upper face, like doesn't really move just the bottom. And so she's like, I don't have her. Nice to meet you. And he's like, I'm Sean, I'm your captain. And she just kind of stays there with her jaw kind of hanging.

And she's like, what's going to be here? I'm excited. Nice boat. Wow. The wind is insane. What's the not that? What's the not that? What's that?

What's the not that? She's clearly nervous to be on TV for the first time. She's just speaking gibberish up there. She's just like, oh, cool seat. So this seat, what can this support? What sort of body weight can this support? And it was, that's the floor. Because you can walk on it.

Is that cool? It's like, whoa, Heather. You live in. So she tells us, she tells us. You know, when you open a bottle of champagne and it goes pop and then it just sends shivers down your spine I would say that's my personality Don't know if I've really had that experience

You know that feeling you get when you're dependent on a substance. That's my personality So you know when the champagne goes pop everybody like jumps back like It's like you're scared, but then at least it's open now, right? When a champagne goes pop, you know what my reaction is? It's like, you know, there's a correct way to open that champagne. That's not like that, right? That's always my reaction. So you don't have any way you look at this. It doesn't sound like a good personality. Like I'm trying to parse this in many different ways. Worried about your personality. Yeah, I think that she's trying to act like she's kind of like a party and she's just

like the good times, but I just see her as someone who could potentially hurt someone's eye. Yeah, exactly. So then Heather keeps on. She's like, well, I've shan, captain shan, I've Sean captain Sean. I've been in yachting five years now and I have never looked back No job too big or too small for me He's like wow that's exciting and she just looks at him and she's like yeah Yeah, they just love talking cliche is he's like I want to see what's around every corner under every stone and No job is too big or too small for me.

I just can't stop. That's the way the cookie grumbles. He's like, well, like I always say, waste not want not. A burden is definitely worth more than two in the vush. All right, Captain. There's no use crying over spilled milk because you shouldn't be spilling them like in the first place, right, Captain? So she tells us on 25 and to some they'd say I climbed the success ladder fast but I earned my position

as much as anyone else has. I mean I cleaned dildos for a few months in Italy on a yacht so I did not get here easily at all. It some might call it a fame in the ass too soon. Too soon after my Dildo joke. So then more interiors arriving and now we have Frazier. And Frazier is fluent in French and he's worked in the Med and then we also have someone in Jessica who has been a soloist for a like for five years. And then Frazier is like, he's in the salon of my Sian, he's sort of looking around and he's being super judging. In fact, that's what he does all episode is that he mutters judgmental things under his breath, which I love.

He's just looking around and he goes, oh, I feel Russian. Yeah, he's looking, trying to figure out the boat. He's like, I feel Russian in here. And so then Heather meets Eddie, and she's very cheerful, and he's very cheerful. And then we cut back to Frazier, and now he's at the stairs,

and he's looking at the railing, and he's like, yup, we're definitely Russian star railing. Russian stock, guys. And then more people are coming on board. Reyna, who's one of the decans, comes on, she's like, sick! And then, Frazier's talking about how this is the second boat, and he goes, the whole point of yachting is that it's all about the details. And I have been working yachting for maybe two years now, and I generally enjoy making things perfect.

It's a pro and con, because wherever I go now, I'm unimpressed. If I could have anyone serve me, it would be myself. Sorry, but not sorry. Me. Yeah. He's just like kind of a humoralist. I mean, he sees Jessica coming down the deck and he goes, or down the dock and he goes,

huh, wow. She's interior. Full, sure. But he says it like in the smine way. I didn't realize we were setting sail on the SS frumpy. And in his diary room, he's lifting up like a tiny little espresso cup and sipping it. I said, I know he's going to be an awful student. That will tell you about yachting.

As someone with two years of experience on one boat, let me tell you all about yachting. He's going to be terrible. It's going to be hilarious. I know. He's the classic. I don't have much experience. So I'm going to be the biggest naughty asshole at Act Better Than Everybody else so they don't notice, right? Yeah. He's going to ride the English accent as far as he can. So then Handelbar is shows up, also known as Jake. So he is arriving. And I don't know if you saw this because Eddie was looking at Jake's CV. And so while we're seeing Jake approach

with this handlebar mustache, we then see the CV. And there's like a picture of Jake on the CV. Did you see the picture of Jake on the CV? No. Ugh. It's like a wacky photo. Like, oh, look at me, I'm wacky.

I was like, okay, affected wackiness. Handlebar mustache. She has an uphill battle with winning me over. And Reyna is kind of like hippie, kind of like this hippie, bippy, blackjack, and she meets him and she's like, oh my God, what I can see is he is fine as hell. And he's like, hello, on Jake.

And she's like, oh my God, hugs, love your nose ring, love your hair. Oh my God, love you. So they hug. Frasier's just watching people fall for you. Frasier's watch for you, like, you both trash. So Jess comes and Frasier sits with Jess, and she's the one who's been a solo still.

And he's like, so have you ever worked with a male stew before? She's like, no, I have not. I've been a solo stew most of my career. And he goes, that's a big deal. Trash. And your general general style, which is awful trash. So then Jake is talking to Raina and he was like, so how long have you been Yolton? And she says, well, since September, but I used to fish in Alaska as a deckhand and I was doing fishing charters. I was like, uh-oh, red flag Alaska Fisherwoman. You have

to be some Riley. Get it. Got it. Got it, got it, got it. So then back to Frazier and Jess, he's like, say what do you think of the boat so far? She goes, well, from what I've seen, it's opulent. The crack time. And he goes, so was Russian. Congratulations. You've now won the title of garbage. He goes, yeah, there's quite a lot of work to do.

And he like pulls a hair out of the cushions. It probably wasn't even a real hair. He's like, I don't know if there's a hair in these cushions or not, but I'm still going to make the gesture just to show my general disapproval with this Russian sofa. And she just kind of snort laughs at him like, oh Jesus, this fucking guy. So Heather comes in to introduce herself to them

and then it cuts to the captain and the bridge just peeling a banana He's like peeling a banana by himself and then he takes the bite and goes Look what's what this fucking guy I love to get his own banana It's well. It's like I always said. I always want to see what's around every corner under every rock and inside every banana peel Because you never know there may be a banana that doesn't have a banana inside it. So Frazier is gonna be bunking with Eddie and Jake and Reina meet Wes, the new guy.

He's pretty cutie, seems like really chill and nice. He's pretty cute. Yeah. And they're all deck hands. It seems like they're all gonna get along well. And so Frazier goes to his room and he's unpacking and he goes, oh, why is this a V-neck? It seems like they're all gonna get along well and so Frager goes to his room and he's unpacking and he goes Ugg

Why is this a v-neck? I look like a European pop star They might as well call it a trash neck so West was a sailboat captain on St. Thomas and he's like really excited to make more money and he he admits that he loves Polishing and rain is like I love polishing and then inside like at some point Jessica announces that she loves polishing and Rayna's like, I love polishing and then inside, like at some point Jessica announces that she loves laundry. I'm like, you people, be careful because they're setting you up right now.

Don't admit that you like doing anything on these boats. Yeah. So he's like, so Jessica, have you joined the boat single? You saucy minks. And then Jake meets Heather and she puts him with Wes and Basically everybody's finding their bunk and stuff like that and the captain calls a meeting in the sky lounge And he gives us around he was good morning everyone welcome aboard some of you were expecting captain Lee and I was also

Expecting captain Lee I was I was a delivery captain for the boat, but he was delayed and I don't know when he's going to get here, but in the meantime, you're stuck with me and I have some big news. We're going 10 out of a 10 with bananas and banana peels. Yep, just had a great banana beforehand. If you want one, they're down in the galley. Now, I'm not getting cracking the ship or cracking the whip, but I am excellent at swinging and axe, so bear that in mind. Don't do anything stupid. I don't care what position you play on this boat.

I'm not gonna yell at you for it. I'm gonna just fire ya. And I'm gonna put it like a cheese. Someone's like, oh my god. Okay. So don't piss me off. You know, because if I have to run shorthanded, I will. Okay, don't put me in a position where I'll have to do something that you'll regret.

Okay, okay. Frasier just goes, oh God. Trash Captain is awesome. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

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So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then end meeting. So then we also have to give we have to give a customer a shout out to our three ghosts that we'll never see again the rest of the season unless they're super hot like Martin was and the other guy last season our engineers and chief officers. Gal Alex and John also known as trash garbage and poop. I got wait for one of them to get fired so we can bring in the backup litter.

So the interior and exterior meetings, Heather's like, oh my God, looking over this, I just love to see the experience here, Frazier, you've worked in the med, Jesse, you're a solo stew. Just tell me, is there anything that you guys love more than other things? And Jesse's like, I love laundry, really love it. I'm like, oh my god, I haven't heard that for years. Which means that Jessica's going to have the standard arc of, I love laundry. I love laundry. And then six episodes from now, gosh, I feel like all I'm doing is laundry. I'm so glad I'm in such an exotic place to be doing a laundry.

And then she says that she's been yawning for five years and she spent the past year tending to her parents and her grandparents in Florida and she got her cosmetology license in the meantime. Oh, good. I've always wondered what be like to get a pedicure from living trash. Well, if you didn't like laundry, it's a problem on this job. I have been head of housekeeping, so I love it all. It's like, oh, Fraser, okay, you're going to be second stew. Jessica, you're going to be third stew. But he's just more valuable than his solo stew. Back, she wants to be on laundry, so I feel like the stars have aligned.

Yeah, so they start to clean, everyone's cleaning and cleaning and Frazier's making a bed. He does make a good bed. And he's like the first person in the history of all of Blowdack who's made their own bed and Then but where where where is the chef and Cut to Rachel walking down the pier and then Eddie sees her and he goes, huh? Well, that's her all right damn talented batshit crazy And here she comes with her season two makeover. She's like in a pantsuit and gold, like what do you call those wedges?

And she's like gold. She's been shoes white, suit, new red hair. Oh, Disney villain eyebrows, like go kind of like a normal eyebrow out from the nose. And then straight up, straight up. Yeah, straight black. She's basically like, I'm of like a normal eyebrow out from the nose and then straight up straight. Yeah, straight. Straight. She's basically like, I'm sick of people questioning whether or not I was on America's

next top model. So I'm gonna give a little glamour. Yeah. She looks great. So then Eddie tells us, well Rachel and I left last season on a bad note. That's for sure. And then we see a clip of her going, got fuck yourself. Be my cooter! So, Eddie is like,

Oh, are you the primary or you the chef? What's going on here? She just, you know, she's just like, fucking cooter, fucking face. He's the ease. And then, she's on the captain. Oh, you look way too glamorous to be a chef. She goes, well, that makes up for my personality Hey, take a big sniff, huh? That's my cooter so Rachel says we have we have is new captain

Which is totally blowing my mind but at the same time with shortman. I like to play a game Where's your penis anyway? I was like I don't get the correlation there, but meaning that like the new captain and where's your penis, but hey, I love Rachel. Rachel came back 10 times as crazy. Yeah. So then meeting Heather, Eddie, let's see,

basically Rachel just comes in and starts meeting people. She meets Heather and Heather brings her some water. And she's like, so how are you feeling? And Rachel goes, good. Okay. Last year, a nightmare. Oh, yeah. Okay, so Stu Pampry issue.

Okay, cool. A nightmare rock. Yeah. And she basically is trying to establish communication up front. I feel like things with her in Francesca were way worse than we really saw it because we only saw their issues later in the season but I get the sense that it was like horrific all season long we just weren't focusing on it. And so then now basically Heather's you know checking on the stews and Frazier goes I don't feel like she's actually very impressed. It's weird. I would think that she's the trash,

but she's making me feel like I'm the trash. I think I love that. Eddie, Eddie, Heather, Heather, Rachel, Rachel. I have a preference sheet in my hand. So it's time for preference sheet meaning and they go over the primaries, Nikki Foster, some senior broadcasting, and her girlfriends from college.

Okay, so day one, they want some sort of boutique outfits and delicacies and a high-end pajama party and adult Jenga, and then on day two, beach dinner, and they want the, they requested the captain dinner, so if anyone has a white-haired wig and a fake beard I could put on, I think that would go a long way. And they said they want a fancy as fuck rich bitch only party. So I guess that means we're going to be buying a lot of bananas. Um, and get to it guys. So then it's nighttime and Rachel's back to her singing in the kitchen.

She's like, mother fucking truffle friesle fries motherfucking cooler fries to jam mushrooms today. And, and we hear we just see snippets of everyone as they're getting to bed and, and Jake explain, I don't remember who Jake is Jake with West maybe and he's like, he's like, sorry, I don't like bottom, but the bottom bunk because peeps will fall on my bed. I'm like, you have a handlebar mustache. Okay. If you are the, you are the health hazard here. You were the pub spreader.

So in the morning with pubes on your face right now, sir. Yeah. So this morning time and everybody's waking up and Rachel's in the kitchen and the oven's like, she's like, beep, fuck you. And Eddie is setting up the beach club, and then Jake hits his head, like the usual sort of like little antics around town. And Heather is showing Rachel about how to slice citrus

because she wants, you know, she, Heather has a way of slicing citrus to display the citrus's beautiful lines, which made me really hopeful because, you know know we've decided that below deck works the best when you have like a really anal and kind of bitchy first do and it feels like Heather is showing some signs of that. I feel like having a very specific lime protocol is a good sign right so I'm like really hopeful about Heather based truly on this citrus scene. Also to even be training somebody how to cut rhymes is really a step above some of the past chiefs we've seen. So then Eddie has moved all the furniture around in that room that the captain

is so worried about. So he's like, all right, step back. Here's what I did. But Eddie's really not great at it. Two chairs just facing a wall for no reason. Yeah. In the middle of the room. And the captain's like, ah, so this is what you did. He's like, listen, there's just no way to make this cozy. Oh, I can't stand Eddie. He would be someone to like not yes and coziness, right?

Be like, well, I did my best. I put the chair against the wall. What else could you ask for? There's no way there could be more coziness. Yes, Eddie, there could be more coziness, right? Be like, well, I did my best. I put the chair against the wall. What else could you ask for? There's no way there could be more coziness. Yes, Eddie, there could be more coziness. So the captain gets in there and he's like, I know how to do it under every rock around every corner.

He's a way to make a room, cozy. We are pivoting this furniture. So he actually does a good job. He moves the furniture kind of against the back wall. It follows the lines of the room, the square of the room, right? And then he moves the elliptical trainer to face the ocean because before it was like facing the back wall or something. He's like, this way you can actually see the ocean while you exercise. And so Eddie starts gaslighting him. Eddie is like, yeah, captain, Sean's got really

good intentions. And I respect it. But at the same time, dude, it's crazy. Okay, alarms are ringing. I'm like, he just saw your sat ass furniture arrangement and was like, why don't we pivot these chairs? Can you put some thought into this, Eddie? People who pay tens of thousands of dollars to come on a super yacht,

actually sing the water while they exercise. That is, you know, put him an hospital. What a nutcase. And then one of my favorite little snippets, Raina is just like, she just like trips on the bow and she just falls over and she goes, God is good. So there's more cleaning cleaning cleaning cleaning. Yes. And then the captain is checking everybody's work and he gets to some of the couches on the deck and he's like, are you fucking kidding me? We need to do our rangers pillows so they don't blow away. It's everyone feeling good, everyone feeling good, and then we see the ladies coming down the dock. Yeah, and Sean's

making everyone tired. Now he's like very meticulous, you know, which I can imagine that's very annoying to work for, but I think I would appreciate that as a guest. And so, um, so here comes Nikki and then a hat almost blows away. And so, um, Raina, Raina's excited because she's like, oh, it seems like I'm about to be partying with my aunties. So this sounds lit, like a lit like, big. And Sean is is like well, welcome on board my see you know We're here to serve you and if there's anything you need let who know that was a joke That was a joke if anyone needs me I'm just gonna be arranging these pillows. They don't fly away. I'm gonna tie them down anyway Okay, they don't want a banana. They're fun

So they go on the tour and the hat ladies hat just keeps blowing off And then Jake is showing off his mustache curling skills and another lady is jumping on the primary bedroom sweet bed and the luggage is brought in and Heather sets out or durs for people and one of the ladies is like, you know what I would love? A chocolate martini. It's like, don't, don't, don't. Now we're gonna start to see someone's real personality

as they have to deal with making their first ever chocolate martini. Also, gotta give it to Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, whatever her name is because, you know what? It's time to move on from espresso martinis. Let's move on to the world and to the world of chocolate martinis. Good for you for changing it up. So, um, meanwhile the deck hands are preparing

to leave the dock and Sean is like, hey, do me a favor. How far away is that dock? And then he goes, I don't know, 100 feet sipped in. He's like closer to 150, but that's all right. That's all right. You're just a, you're just a terrible, terrible first chief officer. And Eddie's like, oh, mad. He's like, go back to me, count to me. Be my boat daddy. Yeah, he's like, God, this guy expects me to know distances. That's my side.

This guy sucks. So then Captain Sean has to give the perfunctoryation about the doc that no one ever cares about he's like well, you know the marine insane kids is unforgiving Because there are a lot of rocks and a lot of corners So it's a lot of stuff to explore and then down the other side of the channel There's all these volcanic rocks was a lot of things that'll turn over in its shallow and the winds come through at 25 knots It's really dangerous. Oh wow. We already We already left the we already left it. Okay, it's fine. And he says things like, well, I've never done this before, but I'm confident

I can do it. Bada being a bada boom. Oh, so they get out of there. And Frazier's at the bar trying to figure out a chocolate martini and he has to google it. He's like, oh my god, I'm to make a drink I've only heard about in my nightmares. There's a first time for everything I suppose, I mean I'll say yes to anything I guess me but I have no idea what a chocolate martini is. On my last boat I was head of housekeeping that did not involve making a chocolate a martini's. It was very difficult to look up a recipe, mainly because I kept on entering in trash martini and then I realized, oh, you actually have to say chocolate made more sense. So Heather's like, um, this bar, what is this?

Always keep the station clean, okay? He's like, all right, girl, that boop boop boop garbage in coming. Don't you love it when a garbage sees an oil spill and makes fun of it? That, that is iron, isn't it? So he delivered the drink and he goes, taste it. Because I know it's amazing. And she's like, oh my god, this is good. So Heather Radios, him. She's like, please, amazing. And she's like, oh my god, this is good. So Heather radius him. She's like, please clean the bar for me. Please, that would be great. One moment, trash guests is drinking my trash martini and thinking it's actually wonderful, typical trash. Okay. So he goes up to Heather and he's like, so do I have a buff and beyond an offer to unpack for them or do I wait for them to ask?

This is more a test for you than a question that I need answered. And she's like, let's get the bar cleaned up and then we'll ask them. He's like, oh, cut it off so waste of time. How about as former head of housekeeping, you apply some housekeeping to this bar that you let really messy, Frazier? So now, which by the way, I love that she ragged on him about the bar because you know it drove him nuts, you know?

So now anchor's down. And someone needs some dairy free cheese. So Frazier goes into the galley to get it. And she's like, do we have any dairy free trash back here? And Heather's like, yeah, yeah, I've got some. Should I take that up? She goes, no, I'm gonna take it up with these drinks right now. And then he like mutters as he leads, he mutters,

uh-oh, get to get into a sassy. I'm like, there was literally nothing sassy in what she said. I was like, oh, he's kind of, kind of, because she goes, you cleaned the bar, I got the cheese. He's like, oh, the bar, the fucking bull. But he's totally gonna do that thing where he's gonna like the moment like any like slight pushback from her, he's gonna start like making it out like she's the

crazy one and has bad management skills. And like that's gonna be the narrative that he's gonna spend the entire right. Because he's totally flummoxed because he keeps messing up. And so he's gonna make her a bad boss now. It's like, it's so clear, and it's exactly what he does right off the bat. It's really funny. And it's funny because-

Because that's what, by the way, that's what Lexi was doing on Blow Deck Med. That's what she was trying to do to Katie. But Lexi was just so like, she didn't really have the right finesse. She just kind of was very clunky about it, so never quite worked. But I think with Frazier, it's gonna work.

Yeah. So she's like, you know, I'm with Frazier, it's going to work. Yeah. So she's like, you know, I'm really not a fan of telling people to do things more than once. You have to do things without people telling you to. And that is how I climbed the ladder as fast as I did. So Frazier's like, she's not going to like me in a few days. So Heather delivers the cashew nut cheese. And I was like, oh my god, cashew nut cheese.

Amazing. So then Eddie goes into the kitchen and Rachel's just ignoring him. And she's cooking something on the stove. So he's right behind her. And he's like, so what's up, chef? She's like, you know how it is. Oh, okay. So that's good.

Yeah. Cool then. Rough time for Eddie, which I love. So Rachel tells us, um, I never knew how Eddie actually felt last season about everything that had transpired and then I had to get told about it and told about it after the season. Like, do I trust you that you're going to turn around behind my back and do it? No, I don't. Uh, uh, he's like, which I think I saw. I guess I'll get out of your way and she goes, cool.

Thank you. And then she turns around and she goes, get the fuck out of my face. Whoa, whoa. Uh, so then Frazier, um, starts to play with, um, had their personality. And by that, I mean, he pops them champagne. And then I think I said, like, yay, Frazier. Heather's personality and by that I mean he pops them champagne and then the guests are like yay Frazier and And then Rachel Rachel is talking once again. She's bring back the extravaganza and she wants to do

Yeah, she's talking with Heather about this extravaganza and extravaganza on the side yada yada yada and You know and Heather's like saying how she suspects the guests are want to be served and make the extravaganza low lines when it doesn't get anyone's faces and so far it seems like Heather's sort of on top of her shit. Like so far I'm feeling good about it, right? Yeah, so then she's setting up the inside table and everyone's helping her decorate with these weird paper things that they're hanging from the ceiling. And she's like, oh, well, I have to set up a Caribbean party while getting a Potomac party ready while getting cast you cheese on fact. I mean, it's a lot. It's a lot. And now it's 20 minutes until dinner and the guests, guests are all getting

ready. And we see some of the crew is changing shirts. We see Jake. Of course course Jake, handle bar massage, has terrible, terrible tattoos. I mean, we knew, we knew, but even knowing it, when you see it, you're like, ah, of course, you know? Now, I just feel like Jake, if there's something like deeply insecure about Jake, and he just needs a hug, but at least he's not being a douchebag. Like, he seems like he's realmised everybody so far so far so far so far but he's doing things that are triggering man

I can't control I can't control how I react to triggers, you know, yeah So Jake is in the crew mass with Ray Nan. He's like why is there no milk? There's only almond milk and she's like um almond is way better. Like what do you want to drink cow-titty milk? And he's like, guess, sounds delicious. Thank you. And then Rayna starts like joking because she's like swallowing her gum by accident. And she's like,

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So then, so now the guests are sitting at the table and people are getting stressed and Frazier is, he's downstairs cleaning a room and again he's muttering, he's like, HIP would be nice. They can send just a one stupid piece of trash to clean up the trash that these trash left here in this trash room for quying out loud Russian boat. In the mess, Sean and Eddie are writing true through their questions and Captain Sean

reads them and goes, huh? What's the most disgusting thing you've ever done with a piece of food? Oh, yeah, yeah, remember that. Oh, God, that was that. He just goes into like his own reverie about disgusting shit. He's done with food. And then we go down to the galley and Frazier is in there and I love when a snotty ass who pretends he knows everything has a scene like this because she goes All right, well these are the comp fredders and just conk like K-O-N-K just can't Well, I've not had a conk. Oh, I've had a prawn, but that's about it Like she's the idiot for serving something

called conk. And he spelled it K-O-N-K. So, um, so then Jessica's like, I feel like I'm ironing the same thing over and over again and Frazier goes I'm running on nothing Nothing at all and now he has he's Frazier's going back up up and down between cabins and service back and forth and he goes One of the first rules of yawting I was told was that there needs to be a plan and there's no plan right now We just looked like a bunch of headless chickens rolled up and fallen thrown in the trash, which is perfect because we're dealing with nothing but trash. And Heather's like, could you just grab the pajamas for me? He's like, um, well, I fell behind downstairs just so you know, she's, yes, we are behind. And he's like, Heather needs to

play some order on this chaotic mess. And the chocolate martini lady is asking for Frazier to make her a drink. And so he's running to do that. And he's like, what are you not neat that right now? This is going to end in tears. And Frazier's like, walks by Rachel and he goes, is this still day one? Yes. No. Yeah, yes. It is, isn't it? And Rachel just sees his like confusion and misery and just goes,

he's like, he's like, the so then Sean checks in on Rachel. He's like, oh, Rachel, well, you're killing it. She's like, am I? He's like, yeah. So then Sky Lounge party, Frazier's cleaning the master bedroom

and puts a plastic bed on the chase lounge, which will come back to Haunt him. That's right, because at this moment I didn't realize that it was such a significant moment. So it's time for Truth or Dare or Jenga. And Rainer starts asking Jake, if there's anyone he's attracted on the boat,

and he goes, I fancy you. It's like, oh, okay. And there's more cleaning and stuff and just, you know, stuff, just like back and forth, truth or dare, all this fun stuff. And then Jake is offering to help with like dishes and stuff. There's something about like, he says something, there's like some exchange that he has with Frazier or whatever. He says, do you need help and Frazier's like, in mail and he goes, oh, you don't trust me, do you?

And he goes, oh, do you trust you? And he turns away and he goes, he is cute. Yeah. Frazier has a love interest. So then it's the morning and Jessica trips. We just I think it's Jessica. I want I thought I was Rachel at first based on the curse, but I think it was actually Jessica who trips and then there's like she curses and there's like a beep, but it's like, beep. It's like a long as beep. So then Sean is back with Rachel with this awkward,

like I don't know if it's flirting energy or whatever he's doing, but he's like, well, you, I mean, I wanna know how you look so glamorous this early in the morning, and she goes, right, you do. And then it kind of cuts away and cuts back to her going, just, uh, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, pu, and she hops over to the captain and like gives him baby look.

What the hell, Rachel? What does she do? I thought she said just the tip. I thought she was saying just that tip, just that tip. But either way, I was like, I didn't realize there were on like, joky song level yet. And, and how many times is he gonna tell her that she looks glamorous? It feels a little strange. The whole thing is strange.

Rachel's such a weirdo. I love it. So she's talking to Heather and she's like, today is crab, Benedict Day, or a traditional Benedict and we'll go from there. So then Eddie sees that Frazier has made his bed like perfectly. Looks beautiful.

He's like, wow, that guy is really organized. Really organized. And also West got to give a shout out to West because some pillows are to blow away. And that pillow was an inch away from blowing off into the water and being lost forever. And West like went and saved that pillow and brought it back. I was like, that man is a hero, a national hero. So then Captain Sean is in the galley telling Heather and Rachel what's coming up for today. He's like here's what needs Oh god, I can't stop laughing because Rachel puts something in her mouth and she's like

Go ahead just get it all out there. Go ahead. Just say it. Just say it. Yeah So So yes, so there they're gonna be doing a beach. And now everyone's ready for their Benedict's and there's eggs, Benedict's, okay, Ronnie, I told you when I watched this, I said, please pay attention to the woman pouring syrup. Did you pay attention? Did you remember to pay attention to the porn? I even put it in my notes, watch for syrup. But I didn't see anything. It was the, maybe it was the Benedict sauce.

Well, some monster at the table took the little thing of syrup. You know, the syrup was in one of those what you call them, like little mini pictures, right? What? But it was like a boat. But it wasn't quite a boat. It was like the sort of thing you put cream in, you know, like a creamer in it. You know, it's like a little jug, like a little baby picture thing. It has a name. I don't know. So she poured her syrup on her French toast, but she didn't use the spout. She used the side. So she slashed over all the syrup. I have no problem with using a lot of syrup, but she slashed over and then it got all down the side of the little picture thing. I'm like, why are you not using the spout? Who pours syrup like that out of the mini picture? Like, are you a total monster? I was so offended. I was like, get this woman off the boat. She does not deserve to be on the boat the way she poured that syrup. So then Captain Evan or what's this

button? Captain Sean is going to ride the tender down into the water. So he's like, they're roping it down, you know, lowering it. He's just standing there like he's in his captain, awesome shirt. And then they're plating food and Heather checks on their food. And she's like, so how's your food tasting? Is it feeling good in the body? So it feeling good in the body? Good. Delicious. Good. Good. It's a strange way to put it. It's it feeling good in the body. Feeling good in the body. Everyone doing good. Okay. Our's a strange way to put it. Is it feeling good in the body? Feeling good in the body, everyone doing good? Okay, our kid needs working today.

All right. So now it's after breakfast and Nikki actually, I guess her room is right near the gallery or something. I don't know what it is, but she sees Rachel and she's like, can you have Heather come see me? So Heather goes in there and there's a trash bag on the chez as you mentioned that Frazier left there from last night. So Heather is like mortified and she's like, well, this is not up

to standard. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, that I don't know. So then Heather goes and tells Frazier and she's like, um, so Frazier, I'm gonna try to tell you this as passive aggressively as possible. Okay, so Tady of the Master to the best of your standards, because she's not really stoked on everything at the master in the moment. So try to like, live up to your own standards as head of household or so you claim.

Thank you. Yeah, and for the rest of the trip, have excess attention. Let's go ahead and pull that head of house keeping out of your butt that you keep mentioning. Okay, great. And he just murders to himself. He's like, puts me on housekeeping, then asks me to be in service.

Confused with your management skills. Darling. I mean, you're telling me that you've found trash in a room that belongs to trash. I don't understand what the problem is. Well, he doesn't even tell her, which is she doesn't even tell him what's wrong. She just like does that hint. Like you fucked up and I'm not going to tell you what you did. So he's so mad.

And so then he turns on the full on. I fucked up so you're a bad boss thing, right? Yes. So he calls her into the room. And he's like, she goes, what's on your mind? He's like, well, did she say specifically what was wrong? And she goes, well, she just said that the trash bag was still on the chest because, oh, right. Well, I don't for a second want to let you down because I'm good at what I do. She's like, um, yeah, of course you are. So what I need from you

is time service. Like, I would love to do service like that but doing both is difficult because I can't pick up the slack if there is a problem. It's such a it's like such a patronizing thing way to talk to your boss you know. Listen you said they they found trash on the sofa so I don't know why you're yelling at me I'm not a Jessica for lying on her sofa. I don't understand it Oh, he's so to like he's doing her a favor like here's what I need from you. He's like so She's like well, I don't think he realizes the bigger picture like he needs to trust me in my leadership because in yawning There is no room for mistakes and. And she tells him she goes,

oh yeah, well it was a change of direction last night. And he goes, no, I love it, I love it. Which is so fake, he hates it. And then he goes, you know, good communication there, I like it. That could have gone sour. And she goes, oh well, no one wants me sour, trust me. And then he mutters, then he walks away, and he mutters, color is coming out, I'll show you, Sawa, like, Chou colors, you were totally speaking out of line to your boss, and she was actually incredibly patient with you, and she kind of was like telling you, like, don't try to come for me, right? So you cannot be mad at her, okay, don't say Chou colors, I love it. You pulled it out.

Yes, I love it. He's such a little shit. I love it. So they're loading up for the picnic, but Sean just has to do everything. So he's like, I'm going to do the picnic. I'm going to go with Jake and we'll leave Wes on board. Okay. You know what everybody loves? A yacht with no captain. I know. I was like driving safe. He goes off and they load the tender. They unload the tender and unpack things and they have brought the furniture from that little room and they're like, okay, so I guess we should just put the cushions on the big chair. He's like, well, actually the cushions are not the right

size, so we can't do that. And then he's like, oh, God, he even wants questions that are the proper size for a chair. This guy is a monster. He's like, Captain Sean's methods are definitely irregular. I mean, I'm trying to get the job done, but he's not even giving me a chance. So he's also kind of doing the thing where he's making Sean look crazy. I mean, Sean is a little, he is a little anal and everything, but Eddie already, Eddie had his test and he failed his test with the beach club So now Sean doesn't trust him clearly, right? So he's now micromanaging

So he's dealing with that and Rachel meanwhile she's loving how there she feels like the communication is so good And the guests are getting bored because they were supposed to go to the beach at 130 and now it's like 145 And it's now it's one of those things where it's like 145 and 150 and 155 They're getting more and more angry and then at the picnic things are going wrong. Attent is falling over and things are like not doing the things they need to be doing. And the captain's just like rearranging furniture

and being super anal and trying to do every little thing. So Frazier Radio's Eddie, he's like, hello Eddie, I have a restless guest. So can I tell them 20 please? And Sean's like, Eddie, Eddie cushions. I need cushions that are at the right size. So maybe you could find those for me. It's gonna be fun. And Nicky is getting so mad. She's like, I want to shoot some people. And then Frazier overhears and goes, oh, well, I hope I'm not one of them. They on a gun have very Republican. So Eddie's like, everyone's a wrestler.

And Frazier says, hold them off for half an hour. And so now they have to hold them off. And it's just all stressful. And we just hear everybody on the radio going, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. And the funny thing is that when so Eddie has just heard that the guests are restless and then Captain, but then Captain Sean is like, let's just hold them off

another half an hour. And so Eddie does that thing where he's like, okay, I'll let you give, I'm giving you your rope to hang yourself with he's like, sure, you as the captain said that you want to hold them off another half an hour. He's kind of doing that thing where he's like, okay, we're gonna make we're gonna make sure it's very clear that you're gonna be the one that causes this bullshit to happen, right? Yeah, oh, below deck. It was good. It was good. Good first episode. I'm actually very excited in the trailer. It looks

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