Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: Jesus Take The Iron

Episode Date: September 22, 2017

This week's "Below Deck" finds Kate Chastain so exhausted by her crew that she has no further choice than to find comfort in Jesus. Hot Jesus, specifically. If this boat See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Watch what crapence would like to think it's premium sponsor! Kelly Grant, the grant master! Cindy Berger's Gerson, what an amazing person! Just saying, okay! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low! Jason Andrews, the king of the upside down Twitter pic, and Kristi D'Awardy, the OG Prems of Prems. to talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends.

And to follow us on social media go to watch our crapman's dot com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. Slash Watch What Crappens. and the Rosebrick Special Podcast. You're improving so much, Ronnie. Why thank you. Yeah, well, I'm getting better at better with Tanderness guys. Okay, getting better with my Tanderness. I've been working on it, y'all.

I love Intenderness. When love puts you through the fire, when love puts you to the test, nothing is a broken heart like time, love and and earnest. I Wow, I can't believe I remembered all those lyrics that Michael Bolton song. I'm Tandonish I don't know the lyrics to shit It's weird what I do know the lyrics to their songs that I should know and I don't but then we're random Michael Bolton song I Mean guys don't forget Michael Bolton okay and remember him with the Michael Bolton hair don't just let him get away with this new hats of hair he's had for

the past decade. No remember OG Bolton hair please. If we if we ask you for anything and remember I've given it to us remember it be this one please. And and I'm just going to extend that over to Nelson which was also a popular act of that time of the Michael Bolton Love is a wonderful thing era and they also had long Luster's beautiful locks that they have since cut off and now they look like a pair of Ellen degeneroses, but They love that love. Well, I'm only asking for one favor today. So yeah, well, I'm asking for two. You go on with your nails. You guys, we are not here to talk about Michael Bolton or the Nelsons. Although it's appropriate because Michael Bolton wasn't he a guest vocalist on, oh no,

that was T-Pain on I'm on a boat, that's silly song. So we are here to talk below deck. But before we even get into that, Ronnie and I have a special announcement that we were making on Monday. So everyone, to those people who don't normally listen to the Monday episode of Shah's Sunset, you know. First of all, how dare you? How dare you? How dare you? That's so Persian. Why would you skip the Monday episode?

Is it because you're hungover? Could you been playing with your duel on night? Um, babes. The announcement is that we're pregnant. Just kidding. Yeah, babes. The announcement is we're having a babes, the announcement is that we're pregnant just kidding. Yeah, best. The announcement is we're having a babes babes. We're having a babes, babes, but tune in on Monday. Just just be sure you tune in because we think it's huge. We think you'll like it. So, um, but you know what I would like to be on

a yacht and the closest I'll get is watching Blowdick. Blowdick. Episode 5.3. We know it's going to be a good one because it begins with, because it begins with, I would totally lick her balloon knot. Yeah. So we know that this is coming. Things that Chef Matt loves. Blue knots, things that he hates.

Sushi. I don't know where his priorities are. Me neither. Get it together, sir. Yeah. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Captain Chris, Captain Chris, Chris, Captain Chris, Captain Chris, Captain Chris.

Carl, I love that the captain is so pissed that he's just like relaxed being pissed. He's like lounging on the couch, he's kind of laying back, just being pissed. And I like that, because you know that rage makes me feel very comfortable and happy and centered. And I like finding that in somebody else. Someone I love on the television.

Yeah. It's a nice feeling. It's comforting. Yeah. So yeah, he's looking Captain Lee. Everyone's looking for Chris. He happens like this. He's like, this isn't Chris, but I am gonna answer because I want to know where the fuck Chris is. God damn it. You sell boat Chris. Get the fuck out of my way. God damn sailboat.

And Baker's like, well, we're supposed to be stepping it up. And Chris seems to be turning the opposite. He's like a really bad movie franchise about bad dancing called Step Down. Step it down. So, Nico then goes off looking for Chris and it's funny because Nico is now adopting all these Captain Leisms. You know, clearly he's being molded in the in the in the shape of captain captain Lee Because he's like he's like guys that third day. She's fucking Christ Chris Jesus fucking Christ where the fuck are you? Jesus like oh, he's a young captain Lee in the making

Can't wait to watch her head pop off. Yeah, so I can't have big nights like that if we're gonna sleep right all right Captain was calling so his eye and Chris is like, oh, definitely fucked up that one. Whoa, definitely. Whoa. Like I fucked it up. I think it's a good thing about being such a devout Christian for so long as you really do learn

how to apologize as well. Yeah, but he just keeps fucking up, but he's like, oh, but I said I'm sorry, like really good. I think it's time that we acknowledge that Chris has the same voice as Nick from Family Ties. Whoa, Melorie. Melorie. Kate just ate. So Kate to captain, she's like, um, do you have dinner plans tonight? Because I'm gonna test to service skills and

Feel discerning and demanding as the worst chart against ever Okay, I'm gonna be the worst ever Yeah, all right sounds good to me Yeah, and then Nico walks by and is like all right Nico And then Nico walks by and is like, all right, Nico, we're always that goddamn fool goddamn Chris Brown and Nico's like, well, his battery was down He's like, oh, that's the truth. He was napping. Yeah, and Kaches goes, if you go to sleep while everyone else is working So rude Which is her way of being like, what a fucking lazy asshole You're gonna be tough at a party. It got to be tough in the a.m. And he's got a lot of one and not a lot of the other

So I'll say my pap sang God a lot of one but not a lot of the other is rejected by the spice girls, but I'm bringing it back in 2017 From the album god damn sailboat It's from the album, but someone cleaned his god damn sailboat it's from the album but someone cleaned this god damn cd case see shrieks on all over the cd case with the semi hit b-side song uh gotta get down the god damn cushions on the god damn jack right christian Christmas flying everywhere. Can we get those? But the one that's for you. Stay tuned for my new dance single called Rules.

Gotta follow. Do the rules. Follow, follow, do the rules. Follow, follow, do the rules. Captain Lee says do the rules. I do the goddamn rules. Going head to head on the Billboard charts with some assholes album

cause God I love that banana Fuck who seems to sang about a banana God I hate that banana So Nico sees Chris and he's like whoa heads up I was in the galley and the chef asked me the true I mean the captain asked me the truth and I titled tell on captain asked me the truth and I tattle tailed on you because I got to do it. And he's like, oh, bro, God, God, it man. That was like, how could I? Like, whoa. So it comes, cake can make everything sound like a diss. She's like, um, hello, are you my day workers?

Like, that's that was so rude. As they are, they're day workers. Who says that? She's like, no, no, they're like literally day workers. Usually it would be less work to have day workers, but now it's extra work because I only have one day to train these two. Luckily both their heads are so empty that they'll be able to receive it Meanwhile Bruno is like I'm a sponge I'm saying no, and this Bruno too. I make a like sponge. I'm overwhelmed It's like cruise ships are not as much work as as yacht, but I'm like sponge So so then kids like all right, so

I'm like sponge. So, uh, so then kids like, all right, so here when you use a vacuum, you press it on first before you run it on the floor. Oh, dishwashers, those involve water. So make sure you scrunch into a ball. Yeah Thanks. This is how you turn them off and how you turn them on Light switches it turns out we have this thing called electricity. Here's a switch. Just go up and down. Right? On wax off no literally. This is how you wax wax on wax off stop catching flies with sticks Jen focus stop rotating that little drum with the balls on it I I actually like really wanted to take a class to Kate I feel like you know I I can clean decently but I feel like Kate would teach me some tricks to really up my cleaning game in my apartment because I feel I feel like she's so good at it She note like you saw every little thing. She was like and you fold across here or make a crease here You pressed this is the link trap right here

Yeah, Mary catch ups until Gays get the right to marry in the Caribbean. We're not marrying catch ups, okay? So you could just throw those away So she's like, guys, this stretchy sheet, the bottom sheet is the ultimate litmus test. And Jen goes, I need to find litmus. What exactly is litmus? So now, so now she's like, okay, girls, all right, Jen, I want to, I want Brianna, I want you to make an espresso martini. I'm gonna time you and Jen, you're gonna iron. So Jen is just like, so Brianna's there like fucing around trying to make this espresso martini. And Brianna is like, and amusingly, she has the same iron that I have.

So I was like, oh my god, iron twins. But then she's like looking at it and then kids just like, okay Jen, think of starches hairspray and your eye in it is your hair dryer you're curling iron my fat iron it's my date it's my date cuz I've spraying my hair to get ready for my date you're curling iron okay it's a pineapple it's a pineapple no why would you put here? Spray on a pineapple. I don't know. I guess I'm nervous Oh, mate, are we playing gold? Mane your ironing

You're I keep on you find is that the answer? It was a polar bear. They're on the south pole. It's a polar bear. What who the windows look all to the nurse It's a polar bear. What? The windows look all to the nurse. Freon is like, um, I've worked on those before. So this whole thing is quite silly. As she pours turpentine into her Marchini. Here you go. Okay. Ma dam. It's all quite silly, isn't it? Yes, with your 20 minute espresso margini. So Kate's like, if you can master a nice dinner, everything else you can figure out. Tim's like, for no reason.

So the captain meets with the heads. It's a meeting time with all the heads. Yeah. And he's like, all right, today we got a real restaurant tour. It's a person's got restaurants any questions Chefs like that's intimidating cuz They know food yeah So other question am I gonna have to do something really hard like slice fish and put it on rice?

Perhaps oh damn it. What do they think about burgers? What do you think about burgers? I like meat and potatoes today. He's like, God damn it. He's like multi seafood feast, including sushi and then a tequila pairing on the last night. God, the chef's like, well, they sound pretentious. So now it's nighttime. That's not very meat and potatoes. Yeah, they seem like the sort of people they don't appreciate had eggplant, eggplant,

Parmesan, paired with well tequila. Yeah, and Kate. Usually tequila is only paired with bad decisions and hangovers, so we can make that happen. Well, I think coming on the blow deck yacht would count as a bad decision, so yeah, it works. At the season. Yeah, so now it's nighttime and Kate and Captain Lee are going to pretend to be guests. So Captain Lee puts on his fanciest Hawaiian shirt and they go, they sit down and Kate, like, I love Kate's version of like a fancy or like a terrible terrible guy.

She's like, oil him. I wasn't even much like, oil him the much like what oil here the crowd could I have a cosmopolitan could I have it more pink than red There are all Southern people who risked charter guests And Chris is like well, I don't? Does the notes on these shows sometimes? Chris, noodles, I get to chill while you go to dinner. A lot of my write that, I don't know. I just love whenever Chris Brown talks. And Kate's like, what's the girl gotta do

for a drink around these pots? I'm relying on the comfort of Yaddy's. And the gen is searching around the basement for cranberry juice. And she knows it's upstairs. Like everybody but Jen knows it's upstairs. She's like about to get into scuba gear to look at the bottom of the ocean. Maybe it's down there. It is called ocean spray.

Okay. It's like a fire drill and I'm the fire. I can't believe it's like a fire drill and I'm the fire. I can't believe the drill, but um, it's not a my rock, a sweet hot shake it and pour it. So then, then, um, Jen comes out, she hand delivers the cocktail and case like, what are we? Are we just some sort of monster holding the holding the glass our bare hands no tray some sort of monster? Just like yes, yes. We are monsters. I just had a date with an iron.

By the way, I burned down the kitchen because I blew hair spray into my lighter. down the kitchen because I blew hairspray into my lighter. Jen, am I being belittled or is this normal? I'm kind of confused. Both. Both. You're being belittled and it's normal. It's like with Bri, there's a glimmer of hope and with Jen, there's a glimmer of nope. And Bri's like, this is a jigger, Jen.

Okay, this is how you measure the vodka. And she's like, this is a jigger, Jen. Okay, this is how you measure the vodka. And she's like, no, you're confusing me. I just like to pour. And pour it out the sink. Yeah. The chef is just putting his head in his hands. He's like, good. And I don't know how to make sushi.

I'm BS, so. Yeah. So the next morning, it's windy. And Matt is, he's like researching how to do sushi because he doesn't know how to do it And he's like people train years for they train years. I'm like I get that but like you Like honestly you're a chef like put some vinegar in that rice bitch Yeah, yeah exactly. It's called get them drunk first before they have the sushi so

And then we get a nice close-up randomly of Bruno's abs. So see puts on a shirt Yeah, which I like to look like yeah, that's nice. So then Kate she goes out on the dock and she like me makes She makes a friend with someone named Morton who she calls hot Jesus so More to come on that. I love Kate's flirting. She's like, hi, I'm Kate. He's like, hi, Morton.

She's like, what are you doing? That's like the entirety of the thing. And then she goes, this is why I really got into yachting. Sail into the sunset with a hot foreign guy. She tells me, go. I just met a hot yacht guy named Morton. I'm just like, I like steak. He's like, okay, what do you want from me? Yeah.

So we have pressing emergency news, which is, Gareth, the first mate is sick, or maybe it's Darian, but I think it was Gareth. I think Gareth is the white guy and Darian is the black guy. So Gareth is sick and can't leave port without a first meet and gar- you know Gar- it's a garret emergency and we need to get a new first meet yada yada yada yada Bop-bop-bop Ted, we fake it with not enough people sure but not with this goddamn idiot crew

How do you think goddamn Gilligan's island happened the first place? Yeah, you had a green crew and no garrots I'm saying so we're gonna stay here on back Now we're gonna stay here on the back for a while and okay, it's like this is great I can get off the boat to see Jesus Christmas came early Mike that's one baby was a Jesus. I mean Jesus was a baby He's sick. Oh, I mean not mention Christmas Maybe he's probably also. I mean, not mention Christmas. Maybe Easter. Probably also not a good time for Jesus. Well, yeah, because that's when he wrote that.

It ended well for him, but. Yeah, he's like, I got it up, you know, I got it up. Or whatever. Let's get up. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity few, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. I need to remember, Jesus is Booner. I'm Jewish, I don't know what it means. Happy Russian, by the way, everyone in Lishenatova. It is happening right now. Oh, yay.

Yeah, today's Russian, what actually started last night, but you know what I'm saying? Well, happy day, everybody. And they dip your apple in some honey girls. Yeah, I hope you're not listening to this right now, sinner. They're not saying. You can listen, it's this right now, sinner. You can listen. It's not yum kippur. You can listen to this on reshashana. Okay. Sorry. But 10 days. A lot of you better be repenting. Yeah. Once you guys get your holidays and to like a target where I can understand it better, then I'll understand it better. Okay. Yeah. Get me like a whole section

of special roshashana candy and all got that. Okay. We can work that out. So Kate, I don't know that she's going to be in trouble for this because she's telling the girl she's like, I'm so happy. I need hot Jesus. This gives me time to go to church. And it's like, you'll need church after that church. Cause I know I was sort of the joke anyway. So the gays come on board. We should mention that the guests are all a bunch of gays.

And they come on board. And they're like, BAAAHH! A bad jazz. Yes, that's please, Carl. Thanks. Um, yeah, so basically, that's please. Carol, thanks. Um, yeah, so, uh, so basically kept him and he's like, well, I have some bad news. We're having a mechanical problem.

So we're going to have to stay in the dock. Basically, Bruno ran out of batteries and we need to recharge him. He keeps calling himself a sponge and rubbing himself on floors. The good news is Bruno's like a sponge rubbing himself up against staff and he's got mate back. And they're like, yes! So everybody's getting changed. And Katie, who's Katie?

Maybe Kate Chappin. Oh, Kate. Oh yeah. She's like, so Chef, you want to talk about the sea food extravaganza? And he's like, oh, I like that. And she's like, it's not a good sign that he's looking at a cookbook for sushi. And what's even scarier is that he's not even embarrassed about it.

I was like, wait, Kate, that was supposed to be our line to say, and you kind of like took the joke and put it on your own show. Not cool, don't you go far. She must have been inspired by the gaze, because she's like, it's definitely a sassy crowd. And they are like, these real sassy gaze is one of guys. Like, I need a drumming maybe. And it's like, you're a drumming girl. And these guys, every time they walk away, every time the captain or some they get an announcement, then the people walk away, there's that one bitchy gay. It's the only one of them, the gaysian.

And he's always like has something to say. Yeah, so the captain's like, wow, we got to say I'm Dr. Bosebroke and what do you want to do? Die, enjoy Bruno. And they're like, okay, Captain, thanks, Bet. And he's like, um, they're gonna say the Bosebroke in. And the main guy's like calm down.

And I like that the daddy gay is like okay boys That's enough be nice Well, because he's doing it the whole time which is so cute. Yeah, well because you know the rest of them didn't pay anything But they have expectations as if they were like queen Victoria, you know Yes, it's like he's the one he's like, uh guys I'm the one who front to the $20,000 so just relax and enjoy yourself before you start making crazy demands Yeah, it's like calm down, badge. So, and he goes like, see, Bob's jet ski,

and they're like, yes, Bob! So, they all go into the water and stuff. Yeah. And then they're like, Morton's texting with Kate, so there's like, they're flirting over text. And then the gays are just having a great time. They love the food. They're like, obsessed. They literally said that.

I love the text flirting with Kate because when you're flirting with, you know, the guys on boat selling, you know, selling their personal sea boat all of, you know, the guy on the dock, the typical guy on the dock. It's like, what's up? That's like Shakespeare on a dock, you know? It was like, hey, how you? Yeah, so he wants me. So we get a new first mate. It's Nick, he shows up. And then I don't know if he's permanent,

because I really hope he's not, because I sort of felt like I had given my heart to Garath. And I feel like Garath and Darian has a special quality to it that Nick and Darian doesn't quite have. But I'm willing to work with it. Yeah, agree. And then down in the kitchen Matt is like learning sushi on the fly. He's like, I don't know if I can do this.

I'm not trying to disrespect the sushi masters like Jiro Dreams of Sushi, but honestly you just put the fish on the thing and roll it up and just like relax. Well, the tough part is the rice. Yeah, I know, but if you're a chef, you should be able to do the rice. Yeah. True, but it has to be sticky rice. Different technique. I know, but I mean, come on now.

No, I'm sure. He's like, sushi, I hate you. So then out of the table, Kate is showing Bruno the ropes of how to do a proper evening pebble table scape and then she's like, hmm, well, I've got an idea. Bruno, how do you feel about being the sushi platter? He's like, I'm scared. I'm very scared. But I'm sponge. Being naked person, I'm very scared. I'm very scared, but I learn. So I like to do. So sure enough, he gets down to his skivis,

which I greatly appreciate it, by the way. I have no complaints with this at all. And Bruno's like, I mean, not Bruno. Nika's like, Bruno, you look good in shorts, but you need a little help in the CAC department, okay? Let's put a little toilet paper into those nets. And he stuffs him, and he goes, look, you bring out the D and you get more C.

Galk? No, I should have finished that. C-A-S-H. Gar, no, I just spelled it. Galicium. Cornucopia. How do you know? Oh, no, you're a university. Camembert cheese.

Cheese. Just cheese. Cheddar cheese. Camembert. I'm a creep. So Kate's like, Don't go net's plating because it's gonna be on Bruno's body, okay? But no, it's a Nico website his stomach and he's like yeah, I could probably do this

But I don't think they're gonna like that. It's like a zary belly button Is it me or whenever I've seen naked sushi? I always thought they'd put little leaves under the sushi when they were on the human skin. Or they actually directly off the human skin. I don't know, I've never noticed, but we've seen a lot of this naked sushi stuff, and it's always bugged me because I mean, gross. Because it's always like some hoe, you know what I mean? It's not like someone who's just been scrubbed down at the back by medical professionals. It's not surgical grade, you know what I mean? It's not like someone who's just been scrubbed down at the back by medical professionals. It's like, it's not like surgical grade, you know, steal, they're being cute. I was really missing Vicky Gunvalson during the

scene, just, you know, the classic scene when she was eating naked, eating off of the naked sushi moush. Like, you need to get a job, you need to get your job, like a coat of insurance. Get a job. come on, have some self respect. What does your brother think? So Bruno, poor Bruno is sitting there as everyone's plucking sushi off him, and then like one guy like eats the sushi right off his dick, and then grabs his dick with the tongs.

And he's like, what's in there? What is that? He's like, the tongs, all the tongs, the tongs, the songs the songs Bruno but Bruno is cute how he flirt with all these guys he like gives them the like shy up and down eyes the whole time knows oh please yeah he's been dancing on a box before yeah so these guys sexually harass him they're total horror is basically, and Bruno smiling all happy.

And Chris is like, what I have done this sushi for the sixth gaze, yup, I love sea. As a said that right, it's like implied, right? Coffee? No, Bruno. Shut up, Bruno. Calendars. So anyway, now everyone, it's time for dinner. The famous dinner.

And everyone's just drunk. Like the main primary guy, he's just like hanging over his plate setting. He has his, he's just like, my glass, my glass is a my, some my, some my chopsticks. Okay, like, um, this is micro-sparigus. Could you maybe not serve that right after Bruno had to get like sushi, eat my pizdek after it was stuffed? It's a little rude. Yeah, but these boys are wasted. Yeah.

And so Ken's like, all right, you can finish this up, Jen, right? I can trust you. If anybody can be trusted, it's Jen. And she puts like a stack of knives in the blender. Sure, Nate Prattin. Pff. So Kate like just waltzes off the boat and she goes to visit hot Jesus and I love the caption said hot Jesus is boat

It's like it's a sign from God. He wants me to hang with Jesus. Yeah, so Jen is She is like trying to deal with all these drunk gays and she's like breaking glasses and they're harassing her because they're totally the type of Gays who are like so like who are you? Who do you like who don't you like they're trying to get the dirt or they're trying to cause Like friction between people. He's like come on Jen you can do it you can do it and they're just like waste and they're like reciting top chef jokes They're like it's like they're in the pantry and one of them goes. I'm not your bitch bitch They're drinking gray goose from the bottle They're getting just shit-based and Jen's getting really frustrated and they're like, so, Wes Kaye, huh?

So, it's Kate the worst one, John, it's Kate the worst one. She's like, I didn't say it. She's the worst. She's the worst. And then they show Kate in the window of the sailboat. And she's like, ha, ha, ha. She sailboat, yeah, and she's like, ah-ha-ha-ha. Ha. She's like, L-O-L-A.

She's like, the caption's like, L-O-L-A. The caption's like, L-O-L, she's, Ha. So Nico goes to bed and the gays are just still the kitchen abusing the kitchen. On the floor, they're like, just, creamy, like, Jenison Dorella, just like, trying to wash Cinderella just like trying to wash the glass trying to wash the glass Sorry, I had the sneeze. No, it's okay So finally the gaze pass out and Kate returns the boat at 4 a.m. And

She was smart. She got out she got off that boat really at like what would have been the worst time you know with those gaze So it's no one catches her and also she did like a nice little walkthrough of the kitchen. Everything was cleaned well. She's like, oh wow look at that. It turns off the light. It was a non-Elo well. So then the next morning Matt is cooking something, cooking breakfast and he's like, he's like wow, he's like Brianna's just like a breath of fresh air.

You know, she says this helicopter's like right over my head. I know they're above my head too. What the hell's going on out there? Oh my goodness. So it's not a good time in the world to have like multiple helicopters circling over our heads, you know what I mean? Like go away, God, the world sucks enough. Leave us alone.

We're talking about below that world. I know. So then, so, Matt's like, yeah, she's such a breath of fresh air. She says something and she smiles. Her smile brings much light. I was like, she has no personality. What are you talking about? She has zero personality.

She just sits there and goes, yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, that's pretty much what it was. She's like, I wrote down, like that's how she talks. And he's like, we have so much chemistry. Like, you don't know how to make white rice, okay? Just learned. And outside, you're a perfect couple. Outside the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the into the water, which is like a little bit of rib or the jib or whatever, and they're like last time, it didn't work out so well. I'll see how it goes this time, and this time they do a better job. It's like, oh, look, Bruno's learning. Like, Bruno learned, and he's like, I learn, I learn, I'm Bruno, I learn, and breakfast, the guys, I'll see Bruno, and they're like, oh, that, hi!

He's like, oh, hi, shy. Hi! Hi, shy, but I learned,. I shy. I shy, but I learn. But I shy. So, um, all right, this is a thumbs down and this is a thumbs up. All right, me, all right, Bruno. He's like, oh, who's one of my thumbs down. Oh, no, thumbs up. Oh, I feel like.

Oh, people are such jerks to me here. I really have to rise up to their standards. So now the chef has gotten past the sushi, but now he's looking stuff up on the phone trying to figure out what to pair with Tequila. So he just goes to the guest, which I think is smart. And he's like, here's my idea. Blah blah blah blah blah, etc etc and eggplant Parmesan blah blah blah blah and they're like okay and then he walks away and then that same gay is like fillet do you think eggplant Parmesan to kilo what is that like relaxed queen please relax just goes don't be a bitch yeah but to be fair like so basically that was like you know when there's like a lot of different palettes everyone wants something, so I just try to like, like, stay into my comfort

zone. So every dish was like Italian. It was like a braise salad with tequila, eggplant parmesan with tequila, you know, like meatballs with spaghetti with tequila. I was like, I mean, theoretically it could work, but seems like it's one thing to stand your comfort zone, but it's another to totally not pay attention to the mandate of the tequila tasting. Yeah. Well, I didn't know that eggplant or eggplant didn't go with tequila, but breed supposedly

no. She's like, yeah, everybody knows that eggplant doesn't go with tequila. Okay, now what do you call that Spanish dish with the rice and my fish and sausage? Like that's cool. It's like, yeah, yeah, I didn't know that it was a thing. I mean, I think eggplant could probably go to tequila. I'm sure you could do anything to make it work with tequila, but yeah, shut up, Bri.

Yeah. I have suggestions. So then over with Jen and Kate, Kate's like so giddy from getting some, some ditty basically. She's like, oh, oh, bitch jokes. It's like, who are you? My goodness, that was like a dose of crack for Kate. She's like And Jen's laughing and stuff with her and they're making jokes and Jen goes

She's supposed to lead by examples. I'm not really sure what she's doing Shut up Jen. Please just shut up. I like you right now be quiet Look how much're learning. You know what the H and the C means on the sink. To be fair, Jen was talking to a mop. She's being so quiet right now. So then that gay, that one gay walks over into the kitchen. It's like, Matt, so how is the tequila going to go with plant parmesan? And he's like, well, so I think the tequila gonna go with eggplant Parmesan? And he's like, well, so I think the tequila

and the tomato that we have, they might go really well together. It's like, yeah, could you workshop that a little bit more? Thanks. Could you workshop that please? This isn't into the woods, it's not ready to go into the woods. You know what I mean? You need some more time at the old globe. Okay, it's not ready for go into the woods. You know what I mean? You need some more time at the old globe.

Okay, it's not ready for B-way yet. Okay. Yeah, so Matt's like, I'm gonna do a red snap with Spanish rice. Like, thank you, that's more like it. He's like, so dumb to think like Tequila and eggplant Parmesan. I'm like, he's like, I should have asked Chris or he goes to Chris and he's like, Chris, what do I pair with tequila? And he's like, Chris, you know, Chris talks a lot, but he sure knows a lot about booze and then it's a montage of Chris like, yeah, tequila, like a fucking love tequila, like

all of tequila, like with anything, I'm gonna have a tequila bar. I'm gonna like tequila tequila tequila. Yeah, drinks bro bro, and then it cuts to the chef and it goes he's so smart. I I love that the guests were then like jumping off 30 went down the slide and jumping off the boat and this one guy goes This is the most fun thing ever and another guest goes because you have a boring life And he's like oh, I don't care And he's like, oh, I don't care. Splash is jumping over the side of the water. So Kate's like, Jen, Jen, Jen, Kate Jen, Kate Jen, there's no answer. Jen's just looking in the mirror like, I can't wait for another day, Diane.

So they have to make a margarita. And Jen, she's trying to. Gents trying to make the margarita, but you can't find Like the ingredients and she's like looking to the cupboard So case I try to help her and so the catty gays of course come right on up and be like are you guys getting a long? Are you guys getting a long which by the way? I hate when people do that. I Drives me nuts like these instigators and so okay and Gents like making some jokes about who knows why and then Kate. Well, because they get one of the gays, he says, get the bitch and she goes, yeah, you are.

And so they go, you guys getting along and Kate goes, well, she's better to job, but she's hilarious. And then she gets all mad. She was so mean to me. Like, that's not nice. And Kate's like, the more that Jen is the bar with her attitude, the more I should remind her that she shouldn't. Ha, slap down. So the chef's like, there's a yaddy thing that goes the guests are never wrong. It fails, but in this case, they were right. They had planned that.

Oh, that's a chef. I keep getting this chef and the captain makes because chef as we learn from Chef Tom Collique chef just means boss and French guys, okay, so excuse me please excuse me about Yes, it's just because I'm too educated to do a proper recap. Mm-hmm. So it's it's dinner time and Everyone is so delighted that there's now a red snapper over Spanish rice instead of instead of eggplant parmesan and everyone loves it and everyone thinks it's great. And there's some more like Shakespearean texting with Jesus. Yeah.

Kate's like, good night. GM. It's like a Julia balcony over there. And then, suddenly, like, Jen is complaining to Chris about what Kate said, but either way, everything is pretty uneventful this second night. So then it's the next morning, and Chris is talking to Nico. He's like, oh, man, I'm going to get so drunk tonight. And Nico's like, oh, and then nap the next day too. He's like, yeah, probably.

And Nico goes, well, then pack your bags afterwards. Then I'm like, oh, my God nap the next day too. He's like, yeah, probably. And he goes, well, then pack your bags afterwards then. I'm like, oh my God, he really is turning into captain Lee. He's gonna do so well in yawning. All right, let's gather for the meeting. Okay. Lots of improvements for the most part. Some still aren't getting it though. Had to make up a story and not to leave dock.

And that's pathetic. Now tonight go out tomorrow. You're on Decad80M. And if there's's a goddamn nap that's gonna be a pack-in session and a ticket on Southwest goddamn Airlines. Group C! Meanwhile, if you heard the sound of a breaking glass that was Captain Sandy hearing that there's no naps and just passing out on her floor with a glass of shubbly broken hydrogen. Yeah. The get The gap for a banana. She's like the log lady. She's like the banana lady. Hawk. My banana is telling me that

there's a disruption in the nap universe. Poor Baker. She gets like three lines in episode. I'm gonna make it rain. Cause my obvious dirty and car washers are expensive. Rain, bitch. Yeah. So then Jen is like getting dressed up because she's horny and she wants to party. So she puts on the silly outfit. And they all go out to the club.

She just fully falls over. She trips over one of those parking lot things and she just goes down and breeders goes legend. That's right. Yeah, the montage of Joan getting wasted. It's like, I need a little drink. I need another one. We need a drink.

And then she goes into the bathroom. And she's like, okay. Yeah, well, because in the middle of this, Bree is dancing and Chris is trying to make his moves. He's like, that girl has moves, huh? Like, yeah, that. And Bree's like, ah, and then sexy Jesus shows up. And this is the way Kate greets sexy Jesus.

Hey, everyone's here. What's up? And he's like, are you buying? That's like, I can't send them off to see. Yes. What do you have? Beer. She's like, well, you're never drinking alone with Jesus. That's what my grandma said.

Not really. Yeah. And Chris is me while I was like, hey, Bre, thanks for helping me with those dance moves. And he starts like rub his palm on her knee a little bit. Yeah. That was so weird. What was that? I don't know.

She's like, and me on the bathroom Jenna's like It's like a sheet. I won't go out there drunk. I won't do it. I want to go home I'm never drunk. I want to be in my due for due for due Yeah, I want to be in bed before diffusively mean I'm not she's like I don't mind training you but don't get between me and Jesus I'm not she's like I don't mind training you but don't get between me and Jesus And that's where we left off what will will KIT will Jen ever survive the bathroom stall We don't know we'll have to tune in next week Jen the first person to ever die in a bathroom stall on below deck

And that was that for that episode and that's that for this episode everyone And that was that for that episode and that's that for this episode everyone We made it on Twins I never thought it would happen, but we did it Everyone we'll be back. Manny on our talk real housewives of Auckland Yep one more day and we're off to Chicago So everybody come back Monday for our big announcement We'll talk to you all tomorrow. Bye everyone. Bye everybody Come back Monday for all big announcements. Yeah, woo-hoo-hoo! Huge.

We'll talk to you all tomorrow, bye everyone. Bye, everybody! free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.