Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: Kate Has No Time For Tired Excuses

Episode Date: September 27, 2017

When the yacht bumps into the dock on "Below Deck," Captain Lee goes on a rampage, and Chris bears the brunt of it. But more importantly, BRUNO IS TIYERD, guys! Come relive what happens when Bruno's fatigue encounters Kate's resting bitch face. It's glorious. Oh, and don't forget: get started NOW at Stitch Fix.com/crappensand you'll get an extra 25% off when you keep all 5 items in your box! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ranchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends. And to follow us on social media, go to watchacrapens.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over

at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends. The podcast about all that crap, we just love talk about on Bravo. I'm Ben Mantleker from bsiblock.com and the Bantle and her podcast. Joining me as usual is Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com

and the Rosefriex Bachelor podcast. What's up Ronnie? Well, hello, Bane. How's it going? We made it. We made it to Wednesday. Yes, we sure did. And it's below deck day, which I live.

Good episode. Love below deck day. Before we dive into it, of course, we have to remind everyone that tickets go on sale this Friday for social haul San Francisco. Our big Bay Area show. We're doing it on November 4th. Tickets go on sale 10 a.m. PST, Pacific time.

So go to watchrocrapins.com. There'll be links to the tickets there. And we'll be posting it all over our social media because we're crazy like that. But we want everyone from the Bay Area to come and just be sure to buy your tickets early by them soon, buy them quickly. Yeah, because these are a party for us. I've never gotten to go out in San Fran. This is gonna be so exciting.

Really? Yeah, I've never gone out there. I've never spent time there. Whoa, well, this is gonna be pure madness. Well, it's a Saturday night show, everyone. So, it's gonna be wild, crazy fun times. Yes, that one is gonna be a party! I didn't know what? For some reason I always remember the date, November 4th,

because in high school, November 4th was the day that I got drunk for the first time, like I drank alcohol, and I had for some reason I was like, oh, I always remember this day, November 4th, well guess what? It will be the anniversary of me getting drunk for the first time at our show, so it's very special. Whoa! That is, I wish I'd written that down, like when I did it. I remember it. I remember it very well. I drank all of three beers and I was like, whoa, what a crazy thing. Oh my god, I'm peeing so much. What's happening?

And I remember telling my friend, my high school friend Greg Ivory, he was sort of like, he held my hand through the process. And it was so, I was very excited for me because he was like super popular. And I was like, wow, like Greg's taken me under his wing. And I remember sitting there like drinking beer, and be like, okay, cool. And then I was very much like Jen and below that. I was like, okay, all right.

And then I was like, I'm on my second beer. And he Greg turned to me and he goes, Ben, boys count men drink. Oh, hell yeah. That's a very important deep experience to have with someone who's close and the first time it's someone who's holding your hand. I mean, he wasn't physically holding my hand, but it was like a... Well, yeah, yeah, I know. I know. I know know I never felt cooler than I think when Greg told me that I was like wow I'm like I'm part of this world now. I'm with the cool kids Whenever I've given people that lick it's like now you get it Well, guess what Greg ivy lives in the Bay Area

So who knows maybe there'll be like a drinking reunion who knows everyone it could all happen There's so much magic in anniversary celebration. That's for damn sure. That's right. I have a drink on stage and to honor my It'll be 20 oh my god. It happened in 96 96 95 I don't remember maybe 95 so 22 Don't try and remember because when I hear years little slippers come back to me and I don't I don't like that. Well, to quote Greg Ivory, boys count, men drink, who cares about the years, am I right? It's not even that I'm counting or feeling old. It's just it triggers something in my brain that's like this is the year you fell down those stairs. Member or whatever, you know.

stairs member or whatever you know. Random traumas then, random traumas. That was a great night. I'm giving you the truncated version. It's just a formative night in my life. But anyway, what's even more formative for some of these people is yachting. And burning the ropes. Let's give a shout out to Miss Kate Chastain, a friend of this podcast and a friend in real life. Yes.

Kate has her podcast finally starting this. Yay. That's amazing. So good. Go listen. It's called After Deck. Mm hmm. She's great.

Yeah. It's like just unfiltered Kate. Yeah. You know, Kate in her opinion. Kate is very, very funny in real life. Well, people have heard her on this show several times before and know that she's really funny.

It's not just on the show. And one thing that has made me really happy this season, and I feel like we really started to see it with this episode is that Bitchie Kate is back. Passagresses, she was happy last season because she was in that relationship. But now she's like out of the relationship and it's like back to classicate, and I'm just really happy about it. But also she kept some of that like giggly

partiness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a great look. And this episode had some just some classic cadence. I was just thrilled. And I'm already really liking this crew, like Jen, okay? When it's showing the previously, and it's like Jen is still worried if she's being insulted. You're being insulted, okay? You've got that you're being insulted. It's okay, it's okay. The thing is she doesn't really get when she's being truly insulted. So for instance, this episode begins with the last one left off,

where they're all drunk at a club and gents in the bathroom. You're like, I never get like this. Ever, Kate, I never get like this. And Kate just goes, I know me either, which sounds empathetic, but it's actually her way of saying, yeah, I don't get like this. And you're being like this. It's also that thing where the girl's like, you might be mad at me, but now we have to bond because I'm wasted. So you're supposed to like lead me around and pat my head and tell me it's okay.

Yeah. And I like the kids like, I'm in my own stall and now I'm leading you. And she's like, no! It's like a mob leaving the store, you know, if you were a few to come. Yeah, exactly. Jen comes running out like toilet paper bound around her leg. She's leaving me.

Was she making fun of me? Or was she just trying to help me? She was making fun of you. So meanwhile, Bri is dancing the club and Matt, the chef, is getting excited. He's like, really entering. He's like, oh, check out that body Matt, the chef, is getting excited. He's like really enter, he's like, oh, check out that body. Ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh back and kids, I don't know, I'd have fun. I'm gonna go see how Jesus. So, yeah. She, maybe she's been doing this the whole time where she's like, I worked hard,

I'm gonna go get laid on the dock, you know, and we just didn't see it. But the new part is that she's showing it and I love that, because that shit's perfect. Like, I took care of all these idiots. I'm going to that tiny boat with the hot guy with long hair and I'm gonna make him feel like a useless, you know, not used, but like temporary. And then kiss him. Goodbye and get back to life.

I like hot Jesus is bed, bedside manner. He's like small body. Very nice, actually. My god. Full of things. Keep the mouth closed. Yeah. And just thanks for your Amazon review, sir. God, verified. She's with Vine. Yeah.

Isn't that what it's called? They're verified thing as Amazon Vine or something. It is. I don't know. I just look for the verified purchase. I'm like, how about you verify that purchase first? Sir. Okay.

He's like, my K-Chasteyan arrives and she was broken. One star. And she tells him, I I'm gonna teach you something and She probably taught him how to fold that napkin shape probably his napkins will now stand up She probably literally taught him how to do a fitted cheat So now the rest of the crew is back on the boat. They're all drunk and so Chris is back to trying to hit on hitting on breeze Oh, I like your hair She's like, uh, and he's like, yeah

vulnerability looks good on me pretty girls like this shit And then he goes you know, you're hard to read like she is she's eating peanut butter with a spoon Okay, which means she don't want to kiss you and she's giving you a dirty look a spoon, okay, which means she don't want to kiss you. And she's giving you a dirty look. She's really not hard to read, okay? So good for her for just saying, she goes, oh, well, I was thinking she's looking at him like, what isn't hard to read for you, you know, like he just said that to like meters newspapers, everything he comes across. That brief is like, uh, 20 labels. Yeah, she's like, you know what? Thanks. But I'm not currently romantically attracted to you. Okay, can I? Hi, and he goes, I was thrown off my game. Yeah. Yeah, I said she

was hot. How could she refuse me? I showed her vulnerable I was. I'm not told her that sometimes I'm not always in the mood for vodka So to snap you're on the ass vulnerability like yeah, you don't get it Yeah, I like the little tiny clips. They put in here as usual But this one was baker and drunk or drunk in bed and she even burps really loudly like she talks And she even burps really loudly like she talks. She's like, Baaaah! Hehehehe.

She's like, uh, they had the next morning, she's like, guys, I got crunk last night. Again, no, you didn't. To be like, if you did, we would see it. There were cameras. Please get crunk, though. If that's, if you could do that, do it, please. Yes, please.

So, um, everyone's like, where's Kate? Where's 10 a.m.? Where's Kate? Where's Kate? And sure enough she walks in because captain he's like, well, I want to see Kate and I'm like that goddamn chiefs do so charming and so she's gonna see in church or something praying and And her just like yeah, like the church She's gonna have to go to the other church and get forgiveness or whatever. He's like, oh, God, K, come on. He likes it. So I think this has happened before. Where he's like, oh, there goes Kate, down the dock.

Yeah, I was surprised. You know, he must really like Kate if he can be so cavalier about her showing up at 10 a.m. in last night's clothing. Yeah, he's more comfortable too. Like, when does he come sit in the kitchen and talk to people? Yeah, that's strange. It's weird.

I'm gonna come back. Yeah, he's like, morning, huh? Wow, good to see you, girls running around the kitchen. It's like, what are you doing here? Go upstairs. Yeah. This random interruption is brought to by our super premium Patreon sponsor, Kelly Grant, the Grandmaster.

Now it's time to, uh, it's like, do Doc's stuff. It's time to help Bruno with the doc. It's like don't drag on the doc. Oh they had like some, maybe there's a slide or whatever, it's like don't drag on the doc, Bruno. Don't drag on the doc. We need chammies, chammies, chammies. And every time they cut to Bruno, he's like, on tired. Even when he's by himself, like just wiping a window, it's like, oh, I'm tired, window. Herman Krab, I'm tired, I tired. Slide, I'm slied, tired. I'm slied, slide. I'm so tired.

So then, Kats have a bagel. By the way, I respect Kats bagel game. I do appreciate that. And now everyone's making jokes about like, okay, you went to church. She's like, yeah, Jesus came. I saw it got twice and Captain Lee goes, hey, that must have been some mess. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha over here. Up there it's pancakes gonna eat those. Thanks for breakfast guys. Okay thanks casual captain. I like when they showed Nico telling Chris to get the shami and Chris goes, could you go get it for me? No he just told you to get it. Fucking Chris. People hate Chris. I'm loving Chris. I think he's hilarious I love that kind of guy it's like

it's he's it's I don't even know if he's an asshole it's just like he really doesn't know when your boss tells you go get the mop you go get the mop you don't you don't ask him to go get the mop for you he's a disaster although we've seen worse disasters but he's definitely a disaster He's a disaster although we've seen worse disasters, but he's definitely a disaster and I'd like that he just has natural eyebrows. They're so big. Yeah, okay. So what's next? Captain Church Gentico, there's it's sad it's the three-month anniversary of Niko's brother dying. That's super sad but luckily to Lighten the mood

Jen has decided that she's gonna iron on the deck in her bikini So she's like ironing up there. Yeah, son and Well, it was making it like a field trip cuz Jen was like I'm so sick of being inside I want to be outside ironing chick you could do it You could Go go for it. Yeah, go for it I just ate a bagel. Did you see that like you've never seen that before and you never will again. Let's let's party 10 out of 11 people found hot Jesus's Amazon review of me to be very helpful so

So let's get outside little one So Jen gets on her bikini and Kate starts swimming a beer. Who are you? You it's like it's not rehab. I'll swill a beer on a day off if I want to. I was like, what happened to you? Please let it keep happening. I love it. It's a go horror movie. Kate Chastain went off to a small boat. But the person that came back was not Kate Chastain. She's fun. It's like no. It's like Kate's having fun. No escape. Like villagers running. It's funny right from. Yeah. She's

like, ha, ha, hello, wowing in the street. I'm going to swill a beer and sit in a relaxed way on a countertop. So Nico gets upset because you know, he's seen Kate with the beer and it's like, what's happening? Everything's changing so fast. Just getting also because he's really sad.

And so he goes off. Yeah. Yeah, Jensen, a bikini. Everything's upside down right now. Yeah. On the show. Yeah. I think it was like, nothing makes sense anymore.

Yeah. So he calls his girlfriend. It was so sad. He's crying and talking about the pressure he's on on the boat and the pressure in his family and though he's not there for his mom right now. And it was just, oh, it was just really sort of gut-wrenching. So, oh, it's Nico.

So then to something later, we then go, it's time, now time for the meeting, like the meeting about the next charter guest, et cetera. And I don't know if you noticed it. Did you notice how while they're like showing up to the meeting, like the meeting about the next charter desk, etc. And I don't know if you noticed it. Did you notice how while they're like showing up to the meeting? The music was like this upbeat like dancing house music where there was like a lady in background being like Yes, I noticed it because it happened right after Nico was sobbing on the dock. I was like, okay, thanks guys Sadness and it's like It almost sounded like generic, you know music that plays on a porno, you know

Skin of Max skin of Max. Yeah, yeah, there were a couple when they do the two were later with the ladies who come on It is very like ding, ding, ding. Oh, yeah, this is under the down tempo, a down tempo, soft core porn soundtrack. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So the staff meeting, the captain's like, all right, guys, it's crazy. The people in here who don't understand numbers. And that's about for you. We got eight people, which is two more. Okay. Plus, they're all women. So get ready for some bad driving my right guys Just kidding guys just kidding the primary's name is Susan Winters Macintosh Try to guess which ones are last name and which ones are first name, huh?

There's a real skin agent from Pam Springs. Yeah Does she get to keep both the rings with the hyphen? Hi, just kidding guys. Okay, so He's basically like these girls are getting together. They're going to get shitfaced and they want to disco party. Kids like, not that original, but at least it's better than a 80s party. So the captain is like, work, work.

And right behind his head is a lot of gatorade, which is good placement. You know, he's like, guys, this is better than water for getting hydrated. All right. All right, we'll see you later. Don't fuck it up. Don't let Bruno take all the gatorade.

Oh God, I'm so tired for getting tired though. So, speaking of Bruno, Nico's like outside, trying to teach his delinquent deck crew, not delinquent, but underperforming deck crew had to do knots again. And Port Bruno, it's like, he's like, all right, you tie it, it's tight like the rope goes to the right, and then the left, and you do it,

he's like, okay, rope go left, left, and then unravel, right? No, no. It's like you tie your shoes. No, my god, I'm so tired, slip on. I'll slip on. God damn it and then Baker she's like oh yeah

that when the drug sailor comes out of the hole and then it gets drug again it falls back in the hole I'm like okay, okay Baker okay I kind of feel like Baker's spirit animal is the seven up dot with the sunglasses from like the early 80s, early 90s, I just feel like that's Baker. I love Baker, I didn't see that happening.

Yeah. Yeah, so poor Bruno, he's struggling. He's like, come on, like rabbit ears, rabbit ears. But there's no rabbit. I'm tired. Why do rabbits have ears? They don't understand English. I'm so tired.

I'm so tired. Why do I have to stay awake until rapper go to sleep? So I like how when Bruno's tying the knot, trying to tie his knot, the music is all tense like, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt, will he tie a knot? Can he do it? Around the stair rail. It's like not even the real, you know. It's like, tunt, tunt, tunt, tunt.

Oh, yeah. It's just a knot for decorations. It's not even anything that has to like functional for the yacht So tired all this ropes and going through loops and stuff So Nico has some private time with Bri Yeah, she's like how are you and he's like just a lot going on. I'm sad and she's like you want to look at the stars Well, I play three chords on the ukulele and he's like fuck yes, I do yeah, cuz she's like, you want to look at the stars? Well, I play three chords on the ukulele, and he's like, fuck, yes, I do.

Yeah, because she's like, should I bring the ukulele? Yes, bring the ukulele, let's do this. We're gonna deal, let's do it right, ukulele. Like every sad song ever. Play it on the ukulele, yeah. So they're lying up there on that little Sunday thing, or the bunny deck or whatever.

I forget which ones which ones which. But Nico is basically telling a brief about how useless Chris is and the stress he's under and she's like I was impressed that she could play like that were you? Well, in the beginning I wasn't impressed because how long she was just strumming like she just was like and then it was like blub blub blub blub blim but then I wondered if was it put in in posts I don't know I don't think they make anybody look smarter on purpose that's true yeah that would be it she did live in kawaii so yeah I liked it I liked it she was like I'm gonna share my ukulele and he was like let's lay and watch the stars it was cute it actually was really cute and he's like you smell like being it better and that's okay.

Just kidding. That is so that's okay. The next morning so we got Kate telling this to us okay what I want you guys to do is a quick quick quick vacuum and I was like I kind of feel like Kate does that to everyone. Like she walks into a bank and tells the teller, okay, so before I deposit this, I just need you to do a quick, quick, quick vacuum. Okay, I'd like you to do a quick, quick, quick request of my pin number right here at this machine.

I go, okay. I'm just gonna organize these pens first before you take on my deposit, thank you. Yeah. Jen, she's like, I really think I got my groove down with vacuuming and then they sow her pulling on the vacuum cord thing like what come on come on vacuum God come on she's like I don't want to get too comfortable because that's when a curve ball gets thrown and they show up and they cut to her. Throwing what appears to be a bouncy ball that ricochets off of like four different walls. I actually realized my curveball.

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Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. It curved. I win. It's like, oh my god, it's so much easier for stupid people. So we get the cleaning montage and the struggle with the vacuum. And then the captain's just walking around like all right step it up step it up Wait, it's not want not spring leads to summer for seats like whatever advice he can get out

I know So the guest start arriving and Jen says she looks like Vicki from the house And Kate's like I feel like they all kind of. It's almost like we're on the same network. Yeah. You know, now they do. They do. Larger because they wear the same things as Vicky Gumbelson. And speaking of clothing, I feel like now would be a really

good time to mention one of our sponsors, StitchFix. I'm not a nerd. I'm not a nerd. This is exciting. I've been waiting all week to talk about the sponsor Stitch Fix because for you guys you don't know, Stitch Fix is like one of those boxes, you know, that like comes with clothing and you choose which ones you like and then you send the other ones you don't like or you don't fit or whatever you send it back and you pay

for the ones you keep, et cetera. You know, it's like that sort of thing. So um... Membership box. Yeah, it's a membership box. So StitchFix sent us boxes. And we had to like sign up online. And you know, it was this past month that's been really busy with the LA show and the Chicago

show. And like, you know, we're getting these emails like, you have to sign up for the StitchFix box and I was like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm going to do it. And I like, I was like, sat down, I was like, I'm going to admit, I was like, you know, we're getting these emails like you have to sign up for the stitch fix box and I was like, okay Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it and I like I was like sat down I was like I'm gonna admit. I was like, I don't really feel like signing up for something right now Just cuz I'm like busy and I sat down and I got sucked into this. I had so much fun signing up because it's like Would you wear this and like yes? No? Yes? Yes? I was like I was like I felt like I was in the store myself I was having so much fun. Yeah, it's like one of those Buzzfeed things where they're like what kind of pants cut

and they show all the different colors. And I'm like, it's gonna tell me about my personality. Yeah, I don't know. It's like, would you categorize yourself as like business casual or casual or you do this? I was like, I don't know. I think I'm like this. And I was like envisioning like, what do I want to look like

and all this and I got super super into it And so I actually did too and you know I'm weird about dressing I'm like get me some old Navy pants Yeah, but I believed in it because they kept even people like me They're like you want this pant which looks good on normal people or this one which is still straight and look good Okay, with your knock knees, yeah, But also, you know, it was mine. It gave me off. It didn't make me feel like I was left out of cute clothes.

Yeah, it was like very specific questions. And I was like, okay, this is interesting. And at the end, they have this thing where they're like, oh, leave a note because, leave a note for the stylist, the more information they have for you, the better. I was like, okay, I'm like, I kind of felt like, I was like, well, there's probably not really a stylist, they probably just have like a set that they send everyone,

and just like there's some check boxes, etc., like an algorithm, science, etc., but I was like, well, we're doing a Chicago show next week for a podcast, so something cool to wear for that would be awesome. Well, hey, that's where I got mine too. Yeah, that what you said on yours also? Yep, because I'm your dresser.

So the box arrived over the weekend and I opened up and there was like a letter from the stylist I was like, oh my god, that's so cool. You're doing a Chicago show Well, first of all, you're in LA and like going to Chicago to be a little cooler So here's neat outfit for the airplane. I was like wait a second. This is not a robot This was like someone who actually really listened to me. I was like already like very flattered and then she like she created an entire outfit for just the plane ride and then she picked out some shirts for the stage and unfortunately the shirts were like a little big on me so I had to send those back but my plane outfit Ronnie I loved it. I was like, oh my God, I've not felt this stylish in quite a long time.

Yeah, my stuff is cute too. I was like, look, I'm lazy. I work at home. I'm sloppy. I like crocs. But I have to leave the house because I walk my dog or have to go to Whole Food. Like I can't look totally pathetic, you know, perfect. Yeah, perfect. It's like cute, comfortable, good stuff. Good job, Stitch. And then the stuff that I didn't keep, you know, you choose what you want, you pay for that. And the stuff you don't keep, it's already nicely folded, you know. You just put it into this plastic bag that give you rip off the tape. There's already the address on there. And then you just

drop it in the mail bean. Yeah. And also, by the way, we should clarify that when we called it a subscription box, that there's actually no subscription required because you can do like a monthly thing or a quarterly or you can just do it whenever you feel like it. So it actually has some flexibility and every box comes with five items. You only pay for what you keep. You do this whole style profile thing and I don't know, I'm like, I'm secretly already very excited for the next box. I'm like, I'm secretly already very excited for the next box.

I'm like, I'm like ready for the next box to come this week. And this is gonna be, this is dangerous, but I'm excited. I'm very, very excited. Here's what people have to know, because everyone's like, okay, shut up. Get back to your deck. Here's what you have to know.

Get started now at stitchfix.com slash crappings and you'll get, you'll also get 25% off when you keep all five items in your box. That's stitchfix.com slash crap ends to try stitchfix today. Stitchfix.com slash crap ends. And by the way, I would have kept all five because I liked those two, the two shirts that I had to send back. I was really sad because I really liked them. They just were a little too big. Yeah, one just didn't look as cute on me. Yeah So thank you guys

All right, let's get back to the dick The vlog. Yeah, so this is all orange county people and the ladies literally go Yeah, woohoo at everything and I love a fan Like a vicky fan, you know, that's rare these days But that's a lot of woohooing, stopping. Yeah, and Susan's like, are you guys ready for us? And Kate just give her this flat face. Like, I'm giving you my best resting bitch face I possibly can without enduring our tip.

Yeah. I know I'm seeing you for the first time, but I already know you. Lots of wooing and gaying and lots of straw hats. And correct, man. That's totally correct. you lots of wooing and gaying and lots of straw hats and correct man that's totally correct so then Kate then it's like a montage of the of the boat tour like in here's our bunny deck and here's where we'll be having dinner and here's where your disco will be and here's where you can scream woohoo at things and there's a dolphin and the girls someone put this on a vision board and I love

when it's all girls because they cheer each other on You know, she's like cheers honey girls. You made it happen. You made this happen Like her friend had this goal and they got it Gosh darn it. They made it happen. Yeah, she's like welcome to your dream honey girl Like you go girls. I love girls. So now it's time to leave the doc. And there's some, as any time the doc leaves the doc or comes into doc, there's always doc drama.

And now it's like doc drama roped and roped and roped. And captain Lines like me, I was staring like, spring line, spring line, he's at the stern line, spring line, spring line, spring line. Yeah. Yeah, these people don't just learn one time. It's like God damn it. It's like, yes, yes, please, every time.

Please, Captain. He's like, get that God damn Sprint line on. I could easily do a quarter million dollars in damage on this dock, all right? And Chris is like, did we hit something? Meanwhile, like all the glasses on the table are flung on to the floor. Yeah, he's like, don't worry. I saw this Kathy bait survives every time.

Everybody relax. Get that back. That keeps for going. It definitely is like, I matter than a pissed on chicken. I kind of think a chicken would enjoy that, to be honest. I feel like that something you only know when you've pissed on a chicken, which makes me love him even more. Because of course he has. Goddamn chicken, you're just gonna goddamn stand there and find a pissed on. He got mad. Someone's got mad.

Those are chicken. Those are chicken just stand there and takes it. Maybe a hot chicken. Yeah, chickens have a lot more fight in them than you would think. Like they have an attitude. They're like, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you know, so that's good. They don't get enough credit. You know, those chickens, they really, you know, they live a dangerous life. You know what, they've got some spunk. Yeah. So, yeah, everything's going terribly. They crash into the dock, but it's more of like a...

Yeah, because basically the boat, what had happened was that the boat was like drifting away, but there was still one line attached to the dock that the dock worker didn't like take off and so as a result the boat sort of got pulled back in and then boat like bumped into the dock and it like scratched up the boat and everything but Bravo made it seem like yeah yeah the band is going down and they're still playing. Yeah, so Cape's like, uh-oh, that's Matt. Okay, you did nothing to this coffee, right?

Does this one have these sleeping pills? I told you to give the ladies or no. All right, go give this to the captain. He's Matt. I'll take it. I'll take it. Like everybody's like running. Nico's like past past the other way. Go around, go around the captain.

And Chris is like, so is the the boat is like the boat damage He's like, oh wasn't me dude. Wasn't me dude It's like thank you. Yeah, Nico did not say that. It wasn't you cuz you don't do anything. Yeah So the captain's like Nico, Nico the branch, Nico the branch. How bad is it and you know why pissed because I'm leading back real far right now the look scarily calm okay me well downstairs Bruno and Nico we're talking and I just thought this was funny because Bruno's like oh so now I understand because I understand not so we're trying to float away, but the lines pull us back in. Oh, it's going to heat so hard. Oh Now that I know you have to untie it so it stays away from that wood thing. I get it now. He's like great And the Bruno is like well time to shine and they just cut to Chris trying to put a green bean in his mouth and it falling out try to put a green bean in his mouth and it falling out. I can't even put a green bean in his mouth.

The captain's like, come on, Nico, they're just sitting around. That guy can't even eat a green bean. They're just standing around watching. They don't know crap dumbasses. They're all so dumb. God damn green bean in your goddamn mouth. You have to see it fall out one more time. You never even get a hair color. Never again, your goddamn mouth. I have to see it fall out one more time. You're never gonna have a hair coat.

Verde ever again. Your goddamn stupid face. Also stop crashing into the back. It's like Nico's like, what do you want me to do? Dude, what do you want me to do? So Chris is like, is the captain pissed? Is it damage? She's like, are you fucking kidding?

So they're now a snack time. And Breeze like, God, ladies, we have some snacks coming out and they're like woohoo Woohoo and one lady goes I thought she said sex and they all start laughing. They're like you go girl Love you girls Having a great time. It's a far walk from Cathedral City. So Now the anchor goes down now it's time for lunch walk from Cathedral City. So now the anchor goes down and now it's time for lunch. I'm that's like, you know what, I'm gonna make something fresh and simple. I was like, oh, what a surprise. We're gonna like try to maybe outdo our Caesar salad that we did last

time. He's like, here's some fruit I cut up, guys. Just thinking about putting some meat on two slices of bread and calling a sandwich. You guys, let's talk. Crinkle or curly or steak fries, which kind, guys? Go either way. It's all simple in the end. I mean, that's right. I'm not trained under the best chefs in America, like Danielle Ballout and Thomas Keller. And one thing I learned is that sometimes you can be crazy.

You can put a steak fry with a waffle fry. It's crazy, crazy world. He tells us every chef has his highs and lows. You know, we have our artistic dishes that we concentrate on. You know, mine is making a customer happy. And that's why I'm serving the Chinese chicken salad. Oh my goodness.

Yeah, that's why everyone's getting tuna salad in a cup of iceberg. Whist and Trader Joe's peanut sauce. That's not it. Anybody want some sticky rice? I know how to do that too. Got some of the fridges. I know they're probably feeling homesick. So here I got a cheese platter from a local supermarket

with the plastic on. They can kind of open themselves. It'll feel like home. They have to shake it up first. Here, handy snacks. So with some more anchor drama, they're anchoring again. And Niko's with Baker. And he's like, yeah, it's like, unroll, unroll, chain, chain, chain, sand, and he goes, you see the color? she goes blue right. I love fucking Baker. Yes Baker blue but thanks for clarifying blue right. Yes it's a color you're doing it well. You are already seen the colors. So so now Kate is she has to get us to go on on the island because she has to find a disco ball for the disco party that night

So she's basically telling Jen. Okay, all you need to do is every seven minutes You need to check in on the guest kids and Jen's and just like okay Got it. I opened his box. He's like no, no, don't don't touch that play. Okay. I do the note. Don't touch that I read I was really climbing to the note climbing, just checking on the guests every seven. Okay. And we need that. But what if I touch this? She's like, don't touch things.

She's like, just put stuff for it, because like this, no, that doesn't go there. Okay. Well, I'm gonna touch this. No, don't touch that. Touch this. It's a cabinet. You open it.

I mean, Kate and Captain Lee, they must be here. They're really, they've got the worst whoever because then Kate, they have the tender already for her and Nick, the new first mate. He's like sitting at the edge of the tender where Kate has to like step on to and he like won't get out of the way. She's like, um, could you move over? Could you move over? And she's like grasping on to this thing in the bus drifting away. So she's about to fall in the ocean and they're like, everyone's like yelling at Nick, like hold her, hold her. He's like, oh, he's like, jump on the lap.

I'm a day player. It's like, nope, I will not do that. Please, we have the boat cluster. Inside, Jen is feeling so sad because she doesn't know how to do anything and she tells us. Micra manage match. Yes, Jen. Yes, we don't know how to do everything.

It's like you need it. So yeah, Jen's like, Jen's like looking for a souvenir on Blanc and like the boiler room or something. And then she's like, she keeps delivering, she keeps coming out to the women and be like, here's your wine and your beer. And everyone's like, I also ordered a champagne. And she's coming in and out. And I don't know if you caught this, but the camera's cut to Bruno sitting, like standing next to the women, like the lower down and his hand,

and he had his hands and his chin on the deck, just like watching everyone smiling like, this is fun. What crazy women, so happy, I love this show. I wonder if any of them will ask if I'm tired. It's like happy for one moment. So the chef gets a moment with Bri in the kitchen and he's flirting, you know, because on this show, people only flirt with the hot one that they could possibly bone because that's just below deck tradition. So she's in there and he's like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,

because you're flirting with me by humming, you can show me the worlds. And he's like, yeah, but maybe I could, you know? There's a whole wide world out there. She's like, this moment will not be scored with Eucalylate. Thank you very much. Yeah. She's like, first song I learned and discarded it because it's lame. But he's like, she's a girl. She's like a Disney princess song.

Like, oh, good. It actually normally works, I think. I can show you the world. Make a carpet fly first. So I'm not going to see the world from your Prius or a train. How about you can show us a better dish? Exactly. So she's bringing random beer out over, not breathe, but Jen. She's bringing out beer and it's always warm and it's wrong.

And so the lady's like, honey, this is wrong and it's kind of warm. So she comes back again with the wrong thing. And she's like, honey, okay, maybe next time check the refrigerator to see if it's working. She's like, okay. Honey, hi. So this is the fourth time I'm asked for a beer and you've just brought me a live crab. So I thought you were saying bear. So I keep bringing bears. It's like,

like I said, it's a crab. And that's a nice customer because she still drink of the warm beer. Like every time she comes back, she's like, this was warm, it was terrible. But at least I don't have to go downstairs. Thanks, stupid person. So then it's like later on and they're putting away the slide.

And everyone's like all the decans are like climbing all over the slide to put it away and pushing it and pulling it and Chris just standing there and be like whoa hey this guy looks sick man. Niko goes we have to put this on top of that thing and he goes what we have to lift that I don't know about that bro that's alright so Nico and Bruno are trying to do it and he's like you just do it till it's up there. Bruno's like, oh my God, tired. And Chris really does just watch them. Like this kid harmed me in some way.

Good luck guys. I'm supporting you by supporting you. Good luck. Look at this sunset. This guy's sick. Yeah. So now it's nighttime and Kate comes back with her decorations and she's like, oh, I got decorations.

And look at this. I got a new ring. And Jen's like, what? I was checking on these guests every 17 minutes. It was so hard. Well, CEO's supposed to be seven minutes. But yeah. She took the time to ring shop. Jen. That's why the beer was warm. I like that Jen still can't figure out why people think she's stupid. It's so cute. So is this in the sunset? There's some, I don't know what's going on half the time in my notes. Well, yeah, it's, there's this bit in sunset. It's because it's nighttime now. And now Nico is telling Captain Lee that Chris isn't taking the job too seriously. And Captain

Lee's like, all right, well, guess what? We're gonna put Chris on anchor watch. And I swear to God, when he said that, I started to chuckle. And I was like, oh my God, I've watched too much below deck. If like the Chris on anchor watch and I swear to God when he said that I started to chuckle and I was like Oh my god I've watched too much below deck if like the threat of anchor watch makes me chuckle like oh that'll show him Yeah, but it also makes me wonder what Sandy was talking about on med because West was very proud to do anchor watch. He's like well on anchor watch Well because in the Niko said something at one point where he's like do we, Nanko watch. Well, because Nanko said something at one point where he was like, do we need to do anchor watch?

No, it's not like the med. So I get the sense that maybe the Mediterranean's deeper, maybe there's a greater need, like it's more of an important thing than in the Caribbean. Oh, because on that one, the boat turned around 20 times, remember, and they had to undo the pretzel of ropes. Bruno's, he would have pooped out of like something He would have just pooped he would have pooped his pants. Why we like see why do I have to learn knots the yacht makes knots for us Oh, are you going to tell him he doesn't know knots go on tell him stupid Bruno's all defensive

So okay, so he's like yeah, we'll make him sit up there like that sounds safe So he's like, yeah, we'll make him sit up there. I'm like, that sounds safe. Putting Chris, like with all the computer controls while everyone's asleep. Sounds great, guys. So meanwhile, it's time for dinner. So Kate is now like the, the, the, the, what is it?

The, the bloom is fading, the shine is fading, whatever it is. Kate's like, hmm, they say that chefs' personalities are like their food and with Matt, that's especially true because everything he makes is just a little bit bland and Canadian. Cut to him going. All right, we're gonna put some dill on that potato salad,

right? Who would release the... Ha ha ha ha. Salmon with potato salad and broccoli. Great. So Nico breaks the news to Chris that he's gonna have to do anchor watch and Chris is like, is that a show?

And he's like, no, it means you have to stay up all night. I love that movie. Yeah. And he's like, till when, seven at night, he's like, no, in the morning. Oh, sick. I didn't bring a book. That was a mistake.

You do not have, what are you gonna read? Yeah, what exactly? Exactly, exactly. So Kate is like, Jen, you're stupid. So you're gonna have to wear a really uncomfortable wig that's gonna make you look half racist and half like. What's her face from three companies? Joanne to wait.

From three companies. Joyce to it. Joyce to it. Thank you. Look more like Kristen Wigg character that, what was that character from SNL she did that were she actually did. It is. Yeah.

Well, it was like she was like, uh-uh, not me. And that's what Jen did. She is like, well, I have to wear a wig. I have to know doubt in my, oh, I'm echoing, right? Sorry. No, you weren't. She's like, there's no doubt in my mind that Kate is hazing me like a girl she she was hazing you when she showed you the toilet paper triangle okay this is like beating you up on a parking lot get it through your head Jan learn

yeah exactly so dinner dinner served the women are treated to a very lovely arugula salad. They're like, oh wow, arugula. Wow, that's exciting. Oh my God, you envisioned this, girlfriend. And Bruno is over with Baker, and he's already starting to play. He's like, no, I have to be awake with the guests. When they go to bed, I go to bed, which is hard, because I'm tired right now. Why do I have to bed which is hard because I'm tired right now Why do I have to be up does somebody need something tied this late? I'm tired. I can't work on my knots anymore

Scrolling I love Bruno's whining so now they're you just where they get ready for the party Well, there's some Sam and broccoli and then Nico's cleaning and he's like, I give myself 10 minutes to cry in the morning and then that's it. I'm like, Nico, that doesn't seem healthy. But then, Jen is upset. She doesn't want to wear her afro because she spent a lot of time on her hair. Also again, like you mentioned, it feels slightly problematic, but she give it to a guest at one point, like, because Jen tells the guest, like, I secretly can't wait to be out of this wig. So, like, oh, we'll put it on. So, this lady puts it on and

she's like, oh, look at this wig. And it cuts the Kate's face. And she just says that, again, she has that flat face, like, this is a breach of wig protocol. They're taking too long to lay into rules, not laughing. Yeah, I have like a wig. When I give you a wig, you stay on a wig. I do not care about your curls. And that is how you will learn, ma'am. So now it's time for Jen's latest challenge, which is pick seven sprigs of mint and put one on each dessert. Oh my god. Four things. And then she holds up the mint and she's like, is this it? Mint smells. I mean,

I could get it if it was anything else. Really? But it smells smell like it and he goes, yeah, I do it. And she's like, okay, like this. And he's like, I do it and she's like okay like this and he's like yes So she starts looking over the leaves and she's like whoa is this one good? Oh my god never mind God damn it. I'll rely on the bill. He loves me. He loves me mint. He loves me He's humming I will not show you a whole new world. Get the fuck out of my kitchen. You ruined them in on the potato or whatever it was. So poor guy, even he's like, that girl's stupid. Yeah. And then, and so now she's getting fresh right because it's like, Jen, we need you to clear the play, play as Jen, put them

in Jen. So she's like, I just need a moment. How can I not say this? So Jen goes downstairs and she has to put it back because I took goes downstairs. And she has to be like, I have to put it back because I took it out. But she's trying to figure out where to put the mint back when she just got it out. I mean, you can't make this shit up. Okay, Ariel. You can just leave it on the counter for one second.

So Kate just like follows Jen. She's like, we're actually doing dinner right now. I don't know why you're going downstairs. And Jen's like, it's a lot because everyone's asking me to do a lot of things Like well people are asking to do a lot of things because there are a lot of things that need to be done. Yeah, but She's like I think it goes um let me tell you one thing before you interrupt me dinner is I didn't meet his interrupt you She's a whole little fucker And she's acting so innocent. Yeah, okay. It's like your hilarious.

I Get that it sucks, but that's part of working on he got sometimes it sucks. Okay, little girl, you know now go down the stairs Do it and she goes down there. It's like everyone's telling me things I'm gonna do like stand in the guest room and like crown of fitted sheet. It'll be okay. Why do people, no one's been yelled at on this show? No, this is like very much the millennial cruise line right here. I still get yelled at. That's how you get people to learn, you know? It's called leadership, okay.

So, you know, Matt brings out the bread pudding and everyone's happy. And while the guest are eating the bread pudding Matt pulls a little trick out of the chef Adam below deck med chef guy Playbook he's like hey, Bri. I got some peanut butter here for you And she's like, oh my god, you know me so well I'm not even gonna eat the banana like that last douche bag did while you were left alone with a spoon of peanut butter. Yeah, so here's the sheep, it's peanut butter, so sad. It's not so Bruno.

What is Bruno looking at? I don't know why I'm writing Bruno. I don't know because he keeps, he just keeps looking sad. Yeah, it's like, look, it's a disco. Look, it's a disco. She's like, they're like, whoa, who? She's Kate, at one point, they show Kate hanging up like a elaborate decoration of like shimmering the

big, shiny, shimmering decoration and falls down on the coffee table. She's like, I think this is Kate's very first ever recorded gasp. I don't think she's ever been surprised by anything, but that goes up. The decoration didn't number on her. Yeah, she's like, this disco is so real. Yeah. So let's see, the girls are partying in that room. So Baker to Bruno, she's like, all right. So you basically get to set up now, right?

You get to set up. And he's like, I don't understand why I got to be awake. And Kate's radioing Jen, who's like crying downstairs somewhere. And she's like, I'm going to finish your bed. And then I'll come back. So she's like, I'm gonna finish your bed and then I'll come back. So everybody's like freaking out over nothing. Like someone had to get mint.

And yeah, Bruno's just like generally tired. He's just sulking. And the music's like, dun dun dun dun dun, breakdown. Yeah, so Matt, I have to say also around this time, I've even noticed that Matt keeps calling Brianna young lady? He's like, all right young lady, enjoy your peanut butter, have a good night young lady, see you tomorrow young lady. Reepie.

This little creepy. So now there's like this little anchor watch class and he goes like quick anchor watch class So so the the deck hands all learn how to do anchor watch and then downstairs So the deck hands all learn how to do anchor watch and then downstairs The guests are dancing to their disco. They're spilling. They're having a great time and Matt Meanwhile, Matt's off the side saying things like yeah, we want to bang breeze. It's all being cross cut like all this of anchor class and disco and Matt Like I want a bang. I want a bang. Bree you know, and then it keeps to Bruno. He's like I'm tired I'm so tired. I'm tired. That's what I want to bang the tired's like, I'm tired. I'm so tired. I'm tired.

That's all I want to bang, that's tired, okay? And Kate's like, I get it, but you probably is not a good idea to tell a chief's to that you don't want to do something because you're tired. And Bruno's like, sitting here doesn't mean I'm actually not doing anything. And Kate goes, it means you're not doing much.

Yeah. Which is like, you're saying I'm not doing enough. Kiko's. It means you're not doing much. Yeah. Which is like, you're saying I'm not doing enough. Like, he's gonna try and have some fight. He's like, oh, you say I don't work hard. Is this what you say? That I don't work? That I don't care because I'm like, ah! She's like, literally, I asked you to like,

take a place from out upstairs. What are you crying about? Yeah. And he's like, while you're not say something at the beginning of dinner? If you need me to like dance with them, like why you not say something at the beginning of dinner that you know like that you want Bruno to go dance tonight? Like why don't you wait till I'm tired?

Why do you want, why do you want, why do you want, why do you want, why not tell me earlier? And Kate just starts to smile because she knows she has him, and she goes, Bruno, how much advance notice do you need to participate in the charters? Oh my God. Between that and... He's still upset and he's still so right in his mind. It's so funny. He's like, she's not seen me working the 18 hours.

It's like nobody is seeing you work 18 hours. Okay. You come down here and you're all judging me for being tired and she's like, I'm not judging you, it's a fact. Yes, now please get up and do something. No! Oh, good. Diard, Kate, I don't wanna be up for disco dancing.

Like a sweet baby with an eight pack, you know? So he said, it doesn't mean I'm not doing anything and she said you're not doing much. I don't, he's been doing anything and she said you're not doing much He's been seated he stayed seated like I'm sitting down Yeah, meanwhile Chris is up at anchor watch and he's moping he's like Bruh, it's like three in the morning then four in the morning then five in the morning is like dude like You could either like tell me what I've done wrong and then like I'll fix it or I just have to like assume I've done something wrong and vaguely not really know what and then like not have enough sleep so my setup you've

been told like five different times what you need to be doing. Just communicate it to me. You did wrong and now you have to stay up all night. Although, why the dumb guy who could crash the boat is staying up all night when he's already stupid, I feel like that was no wise punishment. Yeah, you know? It's like, hey, get less sleep. We need less of your brain space is what we need. Okay, I braw, guy.

So the next morning, Chris has taken off of Anchor Watch and we get to see some shirtless captain Lee Walking around hot hot. That's a first right? I'm not sure if it's a first or not, but It's I think it's like a first in his life I like to think of captain Lee always in his uniform. Yeah, he's just he just constantly That's what the in fact he would be a very easy stitch fix client That's like all right. This is what I went you know, yeah, tell me behind us some khakis and some of those cyclist shoes

and rules can you send me a box of rules So let's see now it's parking drama parked the boat parking drama parked the boat and still nobody knows how to do it. There's a missing cleat. There's a missing cleat. There's a missing cleat. Bowline is down. Bowline is down. Bakers like throwing ropes. So here we go.

And then it's like, it's like, if you're gonna throw that thing, that's a goddamn deck. When I say last the thruster to this group of greedy pies, it just compounds the problem. It adds a word into their vernacular that they need time to process. Bunch of God damn idiots. They are a bunch of idiots because the thrusters do go out and they're all like, huh? And like even Matt, the yacht chef comes running out and like pulls off the ropes and does like what has to be done. Like even Matt could figure it out. Not that he's like dumb, but the point is he's the yacht chef and he was doing more than the the decans. Oh yeah, he's learned his way up. He's earned his way up.

That's right young lady. That's right young lady. I've cooked this salmon before when I was working my way up to yacht chef. Uh, so it's time for goodbyes and she's like, thank you guys so much for making my vision board become dancing pictures on my bedroom wall. Thank you. My dad woohoo. And now we're now time to work on my next vision board sandals resort. I want to go to that place where you wear beads that you pay with. I want to go to that place where you wear beads that you pay with. Like the med. What is it? Club med? Yeah, you buy beads like paper drinks. Oh, at my club med that I went to my family. There were no beads. It was just. It was just like it's raccoons saying.

It's then he's calmed. We know what to do. So, oh man, no, I really included all the drinks were free. I clubbed my club. Yeah, like you buy the package and then I don't know. I've always heard you pay with beads. I've heard about that too. Now these sounds glamorous to me. I get the poor person like my vision board is going on a discounted cruise. How do you even pay with beads? Did they come off your neck? Do you have to un-class the necklace every time? I don't know, because I've never done it, so it's just a made up answer in my mind. Well, all I know is that I went to a club med and I had to pay for nothing with beads.

I just would sit myself down at the bar and that'd say, I would like a drink. And then they had to be friends with me. And unlike Bruno, they were like up for the challenge, because they, like, club med employees had to be friends with me. And unlike Bruno, they were like up for the challenge because they, like, club med employees have to be friends with you. And it was weird. I suddenly had automatic new friends, like, hey, Ben, what's going on?

You're gonna do some archery tomorrow? Come on, bye. I'm doing archery. Yeah, hell yeah, that service. Yeah, but it was creepy. It was honestly creepy. Service people all know it's creepy. We think it's creepy too we're doing it

yeah but we have to we have to be like really fucking special it's one thing to be like a friendly bartender whatever but like when you're sitting at the bar and then like three club med employees come and they sit down with you and they're like hey you know I do this and I understand we I understood exactly what was happening I was not holding it against them but it's weird and the sad thing is that after like day four, I started to actually treat them like they were my friends. Because I had nothing else to do at Club Med.

And it was 32 degrees out in Club Med. And another pools were heated. I couldn't even go swimming. All I had to do was like sit around while watching a lot of babies running around this resort. And ibises, I just stared at birds waiting around I miss it and flamingos. And then I guess is. Well, they are kind of your friends by the end because we all like each other in the

end. Like if you force each other to be polite to each other and fake a relationship, a lot of times real relationships come out of you know. Yeah, that's how you make it to make it. It's how I learned the time step.'s right so this lady was just pretending that she was on below deck the whole time and it finally came true and so at the end she's like you guys we appreciate your service your delivery time was great if I had a question customer service was right there like leaving her review there like leaving her review. And then is the time for the meeting. Yes. Don't don't don't don't don't don't. How is Captain League going to react? Well, I'm pissed that's how yeah. I was party to two of the worst tackings and undackings I've ever been involved with. I can tie my shoe.

Shout up over there. just keep zip your lips. All right there, buddy. He's like, it was a good chart. If the food was stellar, the girls, hey, girls over there. You're good on service, girls. That's like, yes, young ladies. We're making progress except for. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

And then, you know, he yells and gets mad and stuff. Yeah, like then you know he yells and gets mad stuff yeah like the yo-hat there's definitely gonna be a change in configuration on this crew count on it so it's like ooh and then Chris afterwards is like oh but either like mega change or don't but like don't promise to do it and then like stress everyone out because then we won't be as productive I'm like stop blaming your productivity on what random people say to you. Okay, just be productive and then you want to have. How do you expect me to work when I'm worried about like how mean you're being to me?

Yeah. Like I'm not feeling inspired. Shut up. You mop. It's fired. You don't need inspiration to chamme. Yes, no one is inspired to shami Okay, yeah, no one was born with a vision board that lame. Okay, you just do it shut up

So then it's a night at night time. They're all gonna go out bakers like I think I'm gonna wear a bra So you can see one that you can see I don't know shall wear so you can see it or not see it I'm like this is your story arc for the episode. So this is very exciting Blue is a blue. Yeah, Baker has three lines, but they're always really funny. Should I wear a bra, you can see. It's like, okay Baker, thanks for being here.

So they're all getting ready to go out and flip them out. That's a wrap. Where are we after this? So now they're at the club, right? They're at the club and Brianna's dancing. She's sort of dancing alone and Matt's about, that's a wrap. Yeah. Where are we after this? So now they're at the club, right? They're at the club and Brianna's dancing. She's sort of dancing alone and Matt's like, oh yeah. Nico's like, dude, if you want to, you've got to make a move. Like, that was your moment.

Like, do it now. Make your move. So Matt's like, all right, all right, I want to lick her blue nut and blue nod and bang her and just so sexy that ass. And he's like, so do do you wanna go on a date? Next time we have a day off? I'm like, yeah. For all his like talk, I'm like,

I wanna lick her balloon, he's like very like demure. It's gross to see how gross guys are, right? Yeah, cause they're like, yeah, he wants a peanut better, he wants a peanut better and his spoon. Yeah. And then I'm gonna fuck her. It's like gross. Yeah, the thing is we're peanut better in the spoon. Yeah, and then I'm gonna fuck her like gross Yeah, we should repeat behind the window meanwhile Jen is in the background drunk make

Like I never drink I never drink K K the you mad at me. I never drink I'm drinking. K.K. The humanit me, I'm never drink. So Brianna says yes this day, but then they're all piling to the van or the taxi to go back to the boat and Jen will not give Matt any more leg room. She's like, if you have my leg room, see right there. And I actually got like very nostalgic invite only Cabo. I was like, Oh, please bring this show back.

But on the right back, Brianna was like, Branson's Nico that she was said that that he didn't dance with her. And he's like, I know. I'm like, Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Yeah. And she's writing between him and the chef on the band seat. And the chef's like, I'm not watching this. I'm looking out the window because I'm confident

And she's like me go. Why didn't you dance with me? Didn't you see me? I was in front of the lit wall. He's like, yes, ah You know like they have something more flirty and Matt's just like god damn it I can't wait to offer her a snack later bang that bitch gross so good so then they get back onto yacht and her a snack later. BANG THAT BITCH. Gross. So good. So then they get back onto the yacht. And Bruno carries Jen onto the yacht. She's like, whoa! He's like, I'm tired of holding you.

But we'll hear about that for three weeks. Remember when I carried somebody? Oh my god, I'm so tired of sealed from that. So it's two-thirty in the the morning and Nico's in his room. And he was like thumping in the hallway. And I just assumed it was Jen just like bouncing her way down to her room. But it's actually a breeze.

And she was checking on on Nico's use. OK. And she's like, you're really handsome. He's like, yeah, you're really beautiful. And like, it's like a moment. And then all of a sudden Matt just shows up. And there was like, ugh. It's like sorry to break this up, but I got a master bait under this guy for the next 45.

So coming get on with the night. Yeah, can you guys move, move along? I got a plan out my next salmon and broccoli dinner. Oh, well, I guess I just did it, huh? Okay. But he's not thrown off at all. He's like, that guy was hot, right? They get in the bunks and he's like, yeah,

I wanted to bang that girl. Oh my God, yes. And that was basically the episode. And next week there could be a new crew member. So I think either Chris is getting fired and Kelly's coming back, or I think it's just Gareth coming back from whatever illness he had.

Oh, okay. Well, they've never showed Gareth anyway, right? No, they should. Gareth and Darianne, Garith had to be removed because he got ill last week. Yeah, but I mean, it's not like the announcement of a cast-member. No, but I think they're probably going to show it to make it look like there's someone new coming... Like, I think that in the teaser they're making it look like someone's coming back, but I think it's probably just Garith. Oh, everyone's like, oh, hey. Watch out for Nick.

He really gets in the way. Yeah. Nick's blocking everything. Nick's like, you can't come on the boat. I'm going to stand here. Hold him, Nick. Hold him. Uh-huh.

So that's it. Everyone, thanks for listening. Tonight, we are doing our live show in Chicago. So that's gonna be amazing. We cannot wait to see everyone tonight. Go buy tickets for our San Francisco show when they go on sale on Friday. And go to... We're so excited. We're so excited. And don't forget to take part in our Clear the Flam contest to win Carolina Flamming's new cookbook

called Cook Yourself Happy, the Danish Way. All you have to do is follow us on Instagram and do hashtag, um, cook yourself happy and hashtag crap and then we're gonna look and see who has the best Caroline Fleming's. Oh, to Caroline Fleming. Uh, there's the wrap. So, should be fun. I'm excited to see that. Yeah, that's lamb. Clear, tough, lamb. Everyone, thanks so much for being with us.

We will see some of you tonight and see the rest of you tomorrow. Bye. Placing Deals,, boundless options. It's Hot Grill Summer at Whole Foods Market from June 14th through July 4th. Fire up the grill with quality cuts at the best prices. We're talking animal welfare certified meat. Check out the sales on Bone-In, Rib-I, Beef Cabobs, and New York Strip Steak. Round out your barbecue with plant-based proteins, slice, cheese, soft buns, and all the

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