Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: Kate Plus 8 (headaches)

Episode Date: November 30, 2017

"Below Deck" is nearing the end of its season, which means all the yachties are going out of their minds. Come join us as we recap this penultimate episode wherein First Stew Kate all but explodes See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens Watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Who cares what happens

Who cares what happens Who cares what happens Watch what happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Who cares what happens Who cares what happens Kids want happiness when they're so happy. It's a brilliant crime. It's a brilliant crime. Kids want happiness when they're so much that's happy. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,

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I'm the banter blender podcast, and joining me is a man who I will never ever lock in the bathroom no matter how drunk he gets. It's Ronnie Carham from trashtalktaboo.com. And Roseprick's Bachelor podcast. What's up? I like you in the bathroom. You son of a bitch. Oh, so this is a treat. We get to below deck on Wednesdays since we didn't have merit

to medicine this week. So that's, here we are on hump day just enjoying life on the yacht, right? Oh my gosh, guys. And then this douche bag comes back to the yacht. No, of all the days that we had to have a douche bag. Of all the days you don't want to think about hump. No, all the days that we have to have a douche bar. They're coming back. Of all the days you don't want to think about hump. No, I come from.

Yeah. But first, we have an announcement. We already had an exciting announcement earlier this week, where we announced that we will be doing a show at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City on February 20th. Tickets go on sale Friday. We're soups excited about that because that's like a legendary venue. But yeah, yeah, yeah. But as it's Wednesday, I mean, why not, it's hump day, so why not add on to that hump? On Friday, not only can

you get tickets to our Barry Ballroom show, But we are also bringing watcher crappins to Boston, Massachusetts, to the Sinclair, and tickets for that are also going on sale on Friday, everyone. My guy, the camp believer, going to the land of cheese. Yeah, bean town, red socks, Tom Brady, TB12. It's all happening, shout out. Cream cheese. Yeah, that Brady, TP12. It's all happening, shout out. Cream cheese.

Yeah, that's Philadelphia. Sorry, sorry. I'm not even sure Philadelphia's made in Philadelphia. Well, almost still. But still, our other announcement is that I love cream cheese. Sorry, they didn't have anything to do with this. I love that too. And people wanna send us complimentary cream cheese.

We will accept it. No, we are so excited that we are finally getting to come to Boston. We are Boston fans, like most Boston fans in general. We're very vocal about us coming there. So we are coming. And fingers crossed, this is not the last announcement we'll be making about shows.

We, things heated up today. So we will hopefully have more announcements and of course we have a Houston show. Let's not forget dear old Houston. We have a Houston show on March 9th. So for those we're keeping track January 20th is the Sinclair in Boston. February 20th is the Barry Ballroom in New York City. March 9th is warehouse live in Houston, Texas and special prize anyone who comes all through those shows. Not sure what it is, probably a hug. So there you go. I bet I'll make out with you. I'll make out with you and give you a wine glass. So we are super super stoked. Can you, I can't believe this Ronnie. This

is crazy. I'm so excited, it's a real life tour. Whoa, it's more difficult. Whoa! Yeah. Well today, you know it's gonna be a good below deck episode because it starts like this. Brrrr, it's like a blu-ig. It's like why did they like Kyle do that? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I thought it was in playing in reverse by accident You as Kyle is like What Well, I turn the mouth round down there get someone get that guy out of the water When you met the conscious decision to fuck with the thing you did to me When you met the conscious decision to fuck with the fee, you did to me. That's my favorite line of the year by the way. When you make the conscious decision to fuck with my food, you're dead to me. I'm gonna say that for the rest of my life.

Well, it's true. Don't fuck with my food. Don't fuck with my foods. Yeah. Um, so let's see, when we open this episode, we open where we left off with Bruno, like, I'm going to lock you in the bathroom in pieces. What? What? Jane.

Jane. You're drunk and he says not up to my standards. Jane, you let me again. I'll lock you in the bathroom, okay? Yeah, it's like, I'm gonna lock you. I can't do it now. I lock you in the bathroom, Jen. I'm like, I can totally mess you up.

You're like, you're like, top of the morning, giant, Jen. Top of the morning. I lock you in the bathroom if you still scream me at me. And she's like, fuck you! Like you are not gonna lock me in the bathroom, put your hands on me! So little bitch! She's like having a full-on abuse moment by herself.

Yeah, she is just going through it. So he's like, he's sort of like lurches forward, maybe grabs her arm to be like, I lock her in the bathroom now. That's what we do in be like, I lock her in bathroom now. That's what we do in cruise ship, I tired. So, she's like, the carnival cruise line jail is basically the bathroom. It's where Regis is.

Can't believe he put them in there. It's the gender non-specific bathroom because that's the only private one you ever get, you know? Yeah, yeah, exactly. By the way, gender non-specific bathroom, also known as a bathroom. Yeah. A bathroom with a really cute, inventive outfit

as the label. I love how there's like half a dress and half pant. How would wear that? Oh yeah, I actually like to pretend it's like a cape. So it's sticking out from the side. It's how I see it. I have one like hanging out of the comforter and the other leg covered.

Yeah, exactly. So, gender-non-specific bed. Okay. Um, I went, she's, so she's screaming and then he's the real victim because he's like, I didn't do anything. She attacked me. Look, I bleeding. I'm bleeding.

Okay, he gets this tiny scratch on him. Yeah, and spends the next two days writing around going Every time they show Bruno, he's like looking at his scratch like Well, that wasn't just he did get a he also got a rope urn But like that'll that'll learn him to complain about a scratch Yeah, he's like I have to tell people this from cat, because I can't tell people who actually scratched me. That's a little, a little ram, but it gets a bit. It's called back to Adam and Shazza,

Sunset everyone. I free ball, I'm free bowling. So, I'll bet. It took me back to Thailand. Girls like, jeez, I would have banged a, well, I still banged a, cause it's still way. And Jen is like sobbing now. She's like sought she's like you will not lock me in the bathroom And then she goes in the bathroom to sob and she's like she's like, oh Tar and feather you're asked so frickin quick I'm like Tar and feather like what's up with like the revolutionary worth threats

She's like I'm gonna get a musket. He's like, these scratch could kill me. It's like before they had rubbing alcohol to kill the germs. Well, this is running over from our Thanksgiving below deck. So this could all happen. I was supposed to run from Lexington to Concord and tell people the British were coming, but I was like, I'd die or I'll die on the morning. And then she'd fall, rub your dick, all the credit. She scratched me with small books. I have to tell General Cornwall is that she'd die or do. So Jenna is screaming and ranting and raving, threatening to tar and feather repul. Which by the way, dubtails very nicely on my theory

from last week, my controversial theory that she would not be surprised to see her screaming at a political rally. Yes, totally. And Kate's like, well, we could fire her, but the only person who would suffer by her leaving is me. Yeah. The only thing Jen could do at this point to surprise me is do a job without taking too many breaks. And by the way, this entire episode could have just been called watching an exasperated boss because it was just Kate. Exasperated bossing. I won't be like, no, please, no, I can't deal with this right now.

Can you do your job? I didn't ask you to do that. No, no, no. Anti-ha, anti-ha. Yeah, Kate finally starts to just fucking lose it this week. Yes. Like this is, I think this is the most

we've seen her lose it since Rocky. Yes. I know. Someone asked her on Twitter the other day, hold on, I'm sending you a GFI from Hative Kate going, mm, my feelings are hurt. I don't have time for that. Someone asked her on Twitter,

hey, would you rather work with Jen or Rocky? She's like Jen, 100%. I was like wow. Yeah, I mean, we forget how bad Rocky was, but Rocky actually had props to go along with her craziness. Okay, Rocky at least came with a mermaid tail and some so-tunes. Okay. Okay.

Okay. My feelings are hurt. That's good. It's a good one, Ronnie. Put that on social media. My feelings are hurt. I don't have time for that. So we'll get to that.

So next, Bruno, let me see. Next morning, Bruno st stairs up his tiny scratch. That's my note. I love when they show like bloop, bloop, all the things going on in 24, all the different windows and people are like doing important things and they show some staring at his scratch. Yes, you never was cleaning and chopping onions and all that stuff. And it goes like, it's gemstone the bathrooms. You know she has to work at eight. And I just like the thought of Jen still being in the bathroom for last night.

Yeah. So soft. You're not gonna let me in the bathroom. Put the stays in there all night with her curling iron running back and forth sobbing. I'm telling King George, we're gonna talk, feather you. So at one point Kate opens like a cabinet door and a screw falls out, you're like a bling, bl-ding and she goes, oh, there's a screw loose somewhere.

Hmm. That was my metaphor for Jen. Ha. Ha. Ha. So, uh, wasn't that hilarious? My pun about the screw and Jen. So Jen is like, the reality of the situation is hitting me. I'm extremely remorseful for calling Brianna or... That's the only thing. Yeah. So the news like, alright, Kay Nico, come on up here, gonna talk to ya. So they go up there and he's like, alright, well, this douchebag, primary is arriving using some sort of alternative

watercraft, whatever that means, I don't know what it is, you can write it on like Poseidon seahorses and I don't get it to steep in millennial morons. God damn it, Inbo Souls. I'm trying to find where I am. Okay, it's like, oh, oh poor guy. He has to do everything with dramatic fare. What's so desperately to be cool? And then they just cut to Jen doing the laundry and she's like, ah! It sounds like my air go rapido vacuum cleaner when I go over like a string.

Ah! I'm like, alright, alright, let me pry it out. when I go over like a string. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH There is that fucking vacuum cleaner you open the empty and then the dirt goes back all over the floor Well, if you didn't want the dirt all over the floor, you should have had the dirt in there the first place I'm just trying to do my job So let's see here Kate and the chef she's like so how are you gonna do the fish grill great? I want them to have eyeball staring at them. Okay. Brussels and asparagus. I would do the most and press them. Come on. Let's do it. Go for the goal. She's like, we're on a weedies box.

Brussels and asparagus. That's a bit much. That one's round and one's long. Are you sure? No one's gonna be scared off by that? Those things are pulsing. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like there was also Matt was also at one point talking to Barry about Jen. He was like, so I heard that she scratched Bruno's arm. I mean, that girl should be gone today.

I am the one who is hard to hear. All my arm. Oh, I'm, I'm Mark. So Jen, so, well, so we're Matt and Bree were talking and Jen walks down and starts talking. She's like, hi, good morning. Has anyone seen Kate yet? Kate walks and goes, Jen, just stop talking. Just stop.

So she's like, stop talking and follow me up with Brianna. She's just, captainly only has a few rules. Don't embarrass yourself for the boat. And also wear Reeboks with no socks. OK? Last night, you fucked up everything. I do not want an eye roll either, Missy. I want to stay.

I'm just like, ugh. I'm just like, ugh. It's like, ugh. I don't think you appreciate how serious I am right now, but I am wearing a light sweater and cupping my mug with two hands, which means that we are at level five anger. I am one step away from putting a patch of me in our round my shoulders and going on date nights instead of feeling with this. So Jen is like, um, may I say something, but damn, and she's like, I don't want to hear your voice right now.

Okay. And she's like, then don't want to hear your voice right now. Okay. And she's like, then why are you having a conversation with me? She goes, this is not a conversation. This is a lecture. Okay. Which is so great. I love. I just hate my children.

I just hate my children. This is like such a mom thing. All she didn't do was reach into the glove compartment for a wooden spoon. But she's ready with it. She the glove compartment for a wooden spoon. But she's always ready with a comeback. Like, no, no, no. So, um, so that's like when you're, when you're parenting your children, like, hey, we're not going to yell, we're not going to beat the children, you know, like our parents did. We're going to talk them through it. And then you just get to the point where you're like, hit them. Yeah. And the funny part is that in an extra dose of past

regression, Kate has brought Bree to come participate in this meeting. She's like, I brought Bree here to show that you're not getting any special treatment that she would be getting treatment to if she was, if she was like that. And then she turns to Bree and she goes, do you think after the last night's behavior, this is a fair conversation and Bree just goes, yeah, I think so.

I was like, and they just like stare at Jen. This is a fair conversation and branches goes Yeah, I think so And they just like stare at Jen you fuck ward So would you like to save for the last charter? I hear someone's doing Brussels sprouts and a spare against at the same time Then I earned some lemons And then they start playing. Mm, mm, mm, mm, you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. But then, Nico's talking with Bree, and they're talking about who knows what, but you can see Nico is so checked out. He's like, yeah, no, don't want, don't want this anymore. No, no, no.

Yeah, he's like, I started texting Melissa again two days ago. Get away from me, you know, she's not really getting it. And she's like, well, you know, that meeting was rough. Me in the middle again. And he's like, well, that's the first interesting thing you said all day, actually. Wonderful. Melissa would be into that. Yeah.

So what time are your parents going to pick you up from sleep way camp tomorrow? That's what it's like. That's what happens to be on sleep way camp. You started me to leave him like, listen, I don't know. When I get back to New York, I don't know. Yeah. Are you going to call me? Are you going to ask me about my scratch next week? Where's the relationship going?

So Bruno and Baker, stop suffocating me, Brianna. So basically, Jen has decided to be nice to people. So she comes down to the crew mess and she's like, Hey, girl, I'm sorry. And they hug and they're like, Yo, man, you're my girl, man. Whoa. Dreamy, man. Ooh, ooh, ooh. I didn't check this.

Jen's like, sorry for calling you a whore. I mean, you know, friends have disagreements, but you're my girl. I'm like, there was no disagreements. She was getting you to the yacht and you called her a whore. It was don't try to like Absorb yourself of any response even when she apologizes. She's not taking full responsibility like well, you know We both said things like no no no She tried it with Bruno. She's like Bruno. I just wanted to say and he's like look my scratch

Look at it. It's my scratch is tired And she's like no, let's just move on and not rehash it. Okay, it's water under the bridge. Yeah, it is for you when you don't let anybody else talk. You just get the thumbs down and say you're sorry. You get to get. You could see he was like formulating a very severe grudge.

He's like, I'm gonna have to add a mon. Yeah, he's had a monologue about a scratch ready since last night. Yeah, he's like, it couldn't get any worse than a scratch. You know what I'm saying? No worse than scratch There can be water under the bridge, but what's under a scratch blood Blood, I want to see it tasted. I did online quite fierce a blood So then Kate must be in a great mood because she gets to do a past progressive kudagra which is that she's actually gotten more stripes for

Brea she's like, free because you are actually a functional stew I've gotten you a second set of stripes that you can wear. So you are officially the better stew of the two of you. Also, because then what how do stripes work like now that since Kate got started laughing sorry. I was gonna say something and I started cracking up but just that she said she's like well because you're so good at your job I got you stripes but also because Jen could use some humble pie. I like that she admits it. Also I heard that Jen has a debilitating fear of zebra, and I thought this might trick or something.

I heard that Jen is terrified of chevrons. So where are they pointing? It's crazy. I keep on trying to walk on her shoulder, and she's like, I'm not a pedestrian crossing. I only have a shell card. So if Kate gives Bri a second stripe, does Bri now forever have a second stripe? Like when she goes to Yacht, she's like, I have two stripes. And so therefore it affects the jobs that she can apply to, right?

Yeah. That's what I say. Earn your stripes. Well, she earned them by default. Free. You did a great job just by not being Jen. Yeah. Congratulations.

Now learn more chords on your ukulele. Well, she earned stripes. She didn't earn more strings. Pipes. She didn't earn pipes just stripes. Yeah. So K-Sling. Jen, what's your 20? Jen. I didn't, she's like,

well, curling my hair and changing the moon to my provisional. She's like, or whatever. The provisions were coming. Oh, they're getting the provisions. I mean, she's like, Jen, where's your location? She's like, I'm just putting on my epilets. Kiko, yeah, I didn't ask you to change into your epilets. I asked you to help with provisions and Jen's like I'm sorry. I just thought because upstairs you said free shit

And I thought maybe forgot about me and I didn't hear so I just thought I thought it's being helpful Shut up be quiet. I'll let you know when you can go to the cabin Just say copy I'll let you know when you can go to the gap and just say copy copy And then they like to bring the boxes in and then Jen's ass math. Would you like me to put this upstairs and Jen Jen You're take only take orders from me only from me. Oh fine. Can you open the door for me then? She's no, you can put it down and open it yourself This is the equivalent of K screaming at the top of her lungs shaking Jen by the shoulders

and giving her a few smacks do it yourself man I'm just like what a kind head stew madame miserable bitch no then I love that Jen's just making sure she's never gonna work anywhere ever. Yeah, she's just awful, like awful. So now it's also on her LinkedIn, someone posted a picture for LinkedIn and it's like, Jen rose to fame as a plucky, and was like, what? Yes, that's as far as I got. That's what she graduated from Vassar,

she actually folded in, napkin into a triangle one time. Now is being honored at the Kennedy Center, Jen, also known as perfect curl, Jen. She did a transfer term at Radcliffe where she learned the art of framing sailboats, hoping to someday actually work on a sailboat and when she landed on a yacht, no one had the heart to tell her a yacht is different from a sailboat. Wait, this is a cruise. No, it's not. Where's Kathy Lee? I scratched. I bow-boo. I tired, but I can't sleep because I got scratch. I've got scratch fever.

So next up is Tim Sykes. Yeah. What? Yeah. The guests start arriving on jet skis and can be like, ah, facking morons. I love them. Kate's like, well, that could be ditty. Coming on a jet ski. Alternate watercraft. Is that the politically correct term for jet ski now? Can we just call it a jet ski? I just said jet ski. So he Timothy comes on board with his with his buddies or like his employees. And he's like, oh, like I like the boat. You really like you upgrade it. You guys are really doing well for each other. You guys have you done well for yourself yourself and kept at least like

Kind of sending a little prick Yeah, the captain's about to throw this fucker overboard. Yeah, and he's like God the last one was like a holiday in house the Wi-Fi and cake has um the same She's like look at this exciting toilet it moves for you he's like, yeah, I'll just go in the bathtub And he's long gonna be like this is Pimp, right? This is so Pimp I'm like if you ever use Pimp as an adjective you should just like throw yourself off the side of the yacht Seriously, it's like listening to Kim from real housewives of Atlanta say your hair is everything Like it's that's not made for you, please. Okay, back away. Don't you dare give her lean lock and voice. That is kind of how Kim talks though. Sort of, yes, true,

actually. So, now they're all the guests are settling in and guess what? Tim can't get on Wi-Fi. He's running out of fluid. Yeah, she's like, Tim is the quintessential nerd. He makes it big and spends the rest of his life trying to pretend he's cool. I love that she says shit like this because you know he'll be on neck seats and then just torture her the whole time just because of it. So up in the bug, Nico's calling Melissa shady, Shane. Yeah. And then he's like, just hearing because their conversations are like, hi, hi, how are you? Good.

And he's like, hearingering or just say my name, makes me realize a screw that big time. I'm doing Christ. Yeah, I think. You did it on purpose, and now you're being nice a week before to lay the foundation for a lay. Yeah. So then, well, so he's doing that, being shady.

And then Kyle checks in with Kate and is like, wait, is the neutral bullet? Yeah, the neutral bullet or something like that. Something about a neutral bullet and Kate just snaps at him basically, because he keeps on telling me, are you good? No, he's going, are you good? You're good?

And she's like, yes, Kyle, I'm still good. I was good this morning. I was good when she was ironing mappings and I'm good now with a neutral bullet. Okay, thanks. I would be better if I didn't have to stop every five seconds to tell you I'm good, okay. And he's like, oh, good now with a neutral. Okay, thanks. I would be better if I didn't have to stop every five seconds to tell you I'm good. Okay.

And he's like, I'll get this, she's mad. But if you can't take positive criticism, it's like putting a fork in my food, you're dead damn the bitch. Yeah, until you can like learn to chillax, bro over some girls taking a fork in your zoo, then you don't have a right to complain about other people's processes.

Crazy. Yeah. And then we just see Jen passing Brianna you then you don't have a right to complain about other people's processes. Crazy. Yeah. And then we just see Jen passing Brianna in the mess all while Brianna's eating. She's saying, oh, how's eating food? It must be nice. Heaven forbid I stopped eating something. And then she starts eating with her fingers off the guest phrase. I'm like, Jen, you spent six hours eating muscles two weeks ago.

Okay. You lost the right to having food. You spent six hours eating mussels two weeks ago, okay. You lost the right to having food. So Tim comes into the kitchen, which every chef loves. Yeah. And he's like, hey, bro, what are you doing for lunch? Yeah. And Matt's like, oh, well, I was thinking about doing a salad.

No, steak maybe. I don't know. I'm actually really glad you're here. I have no idea. Wow, who's snapper? Wow, who tastes like butter. He's like, I love butter. Bisc, can you leave some chunks in there?

Because I like chunks. OK. We've had five fat children come on here to each do a dance, playing the role of chunk from the goonies just for you, sir., you know what people love in their bisque chunks? On seafood menus across the chunk bisque. I heard they serve some chunk bisque at Nini's seafood suare this week. White, fried, hashtag never never forget, seafoods, well, a-bis.

So, yeah, Tim still wants the Wi-Fi, but at least he gets some black bean hummus in the meantime. And about so hummus is so 2016. Slash centuries. So then, Bruno is now very proud of himself. He's like, I survived scratch and I realize I'm like real deck hand now because deck hands get scratched too and I got scratched and I'm like lottery ticket and like I won five dollars but not five dollars. I won five credits of respect.

I was greedy because on the first day I greeny. But now I scratch that can't. It's my red scratcher courage. So the other guests arrive, they're making, they're eat fish on the snapper on the bone with... Well, and I was worried because I was like, please do not ask Priyana and Jen to debone these snappers because I have served many a fish on the bone and that is not a pretty debone. That takes practice. Yeah, I can't. I definitely can. I could barely carve my turkey the other night. I covered a lot of customers in Luda Mayor while I was learning how

to debone a fish. Oh, geez. Now, did you hear this quote from Matt when he was he was grilling the snapper and he goes, huh, tastes great. Well, this is amazing. You know, I'm using the grill for the first time all season. I'm like, you're on your last charter and you're using the grill for the first time. What? Do you hear what's wrong with this? Do you hear what you're saying? You are a chef and you haven't grilled a single thing and you're in the Caribbean.

You're like an open air, warm, warm weather and you haven't grilled on this boat Actually, he did grill burgers on like the beach But still well, I just like I cooked those regularly and then he sent them for them finished grilling members Right, he pre he pre cooked the burgers. Yeah sure those were delicious and juicy So I like it when she said when they when the fish came out, she's like, I've seen so many salads for lunch this season that a snappers falling out eyeball is a welcome chain. Okay, it was on a rampage, this whole this whole thing. I was like, do you not want anybody from your cast to speak to you again when you're doing press or like whatever? Like, don't you need

any friends? Like everybody can't check. Wow, it was great doing his job for him though, the entire time, but she's not, but she's not, but she's speaking the truth. I mean, he serves a salad every single episode, every episode. It's like a salad with prawns or salad with, with scallops or salad with chicken or salad with steak. Like every single lunch is a salad.

Like one of those ladies, I've had more salads on this one trip than I've had my entire life. Yeah. He serves salads, steaks and salads and talent dressing and like perfectly good food for the marriott, you know, the marriott. The marriott, the cool jod, marriott. Okay, so water toys, they're making, they're getting the water toys out and getting the slide ready. And then they throw down the slide and oh my god

Someone's like it's caught This is like scratch but hurt more wide scratch is For second I thought I lose my leg I'm actually surprised he didn't lose his leg that's crazy because basically Bruno's they're putting out the the slide and there's like a rope attached to slide and Bruno the rope was in between Bruno's legs so when the slide went out the rope gets pulled against the side of the boat and that's where his leg was I know he's actually so lucky to not lose that leg.

Oh my goodness. Yeah, and it looked like it hurt like a bitch too. He's like, I was hurting. I'm trying to forget the pain, but it's so hard. And he goes like, your leg and he's like, no, the scratch. I feel leg leader. Oh, the good thing about Roper and is that distract from scratch burn? And then we just get a random clip of Baker going, ready to ask, nice, cushy slide,

rough them on a ride. End of scene. And then Jen, the perennial victim is like, I'm sick of everybody thinking that better than me. I'm like, no one is saying that they're better than you. They're just getting annoyed because you're not doing your job. Yeah You're just as much a piece of shit as I am Great love your love your self confidence there

So Tim's like whoa you guys are much better than last crew bro. Hams. Whoa. He did it Tim Captain Lee me and wildos and sees Bruno nursing himself and yeah Yeah, I bet you know I can make that mistake again, and he's like no Definitely not and he's like Captain Lee tells us am I surprised that Bruno heard himself on deck? No Do I kill sorry for him? No? Is he a little weak punk ass? Yes? Was I rooting for the scratch?

I was. So I hope the scratch infects the burn. Yeah, kind of. Did I hope that his leg fell off? Hey, peg legs are some of the best sailors out there. Well, he said he wanted to earn his stripes. Moby Dick. The guy's name and Moby Dick walked around with his fake leg

because the whale stole it. The whales. Hey, I don't think can a whale steal a leg or just take a leg? I don't know. I mean, yeah, I would charge for a leg. Stealing implies he's gonna keep it. I think you just ate it Yeah, well you could steal my french fry Can steal my sunshine, okay

Don't steal my scratch Cates like oh no, oh god. I just got so scared. I saw an ad for scratchers. Oh Back scratcher who would want that? Scratchers all back scratcher who would want that? Mass said he's making dinner from scratch. How do you use my leg and dinner? Okay for dessert. I would like to order an hour tired Here's what we do for dessert. We do I tired scratch It's, it's like, hmm, look at this ironing. I don't know if this is right.

She's like picking like at one little spot check. Hmm, should I make her do this again? And Kyle's like, you're good? She's like, yes Kyle, I'm fine. Okay, I'm fine. And then she walks up that she goes, you know, I don't have to, I've got so much to do. I don't have time for him. I mean, I could have time for him if I wanted to, but I don't. And he's

like, you're good. She's walking up the stairs. She goes, feel like I'm going to boat full of morons. Yes. Yes. Well, Captain Lee is like, I don't know why I just suddenly got a boner. Did somebody say moron? So, uh, Matt's cooking dinner. And it looks great, you know, for all the chicken, he's up there putting bubble gum on the Wi-Fi. I like this one. Moron. 32 kilobytes per second. Moron.

So, Matt's cooking dinner and it looks, it looks really delicious. It looks like he did rise the challenge and he's talking about like, yeah, this reminds me, I can't do this. I mean, this menu, we're firing on all cylinders. I'm like, yeah, but, okay, kind of come up with the challenge. And he's talking about like yeah, this reminds me of this. I mean this menu we're firing on all cylinders. I'm like yeah, but Kate kind of came up with the menu. So don't get too excited. Well, there ain't nothing, there ain't nothing wrong with learning something. And that's right. That's right. You can cook better than I can. That's for sure. So, um, so the Niko's talking about his plan to someone about what he's going to do when he gets back to Chicago. He's like, gonna hang out with his mom. He's gonna heal.

You know all that stuff. He's gonna go block the block collecting. Pussy. Okay. Pussy. Pussy collection. Pussy collection. Pussy collection.

Big ole wheelbarrow. Get the pusses in there. So let's see here. Baker, Nico. here Baker and Nico. So Baker and Nico have a moment. Oh yeah, that's what I'm sorry about Chicago. Yeah, Bruno. Sometimes he keeps track of the notes.

We go back to Bruno and he's still staring at his leg. Dinner time. It was by the way, it was around this time that the producers decided they just want to fuck with us and just be like, every three minutes, we're just going to show an extreme close up of Bruno's burn. I'm like, it's all the same. Oh wait. Yeah, that's the whole thing. It's like, he keeps going like, oh, I'll hurt this. Like, okay. So the guests have, they've come back from there, they went to the

beach to, yeah, Wi-Fi, and they're back for I think they did But they're back now for dinner. I mean, it's like every it's a tasting menu So it's like buying million things and Kate's like, Bri, you have second stripe now. So you're taking over service. I'm Jen goflapsum pillows And then Baker goes yeah Baker goes yeah, she just like on like a parasite all floating by the shot. Well, little skitter that was from you, Jay. Actually, that's from Adam. So they are all eating and everything and they're like wrapping up like they're last

dish before before dessert and I think someone asked like hey is anyone still hungry? And like yeah we're still hungry. They're like oh shit that was supposed to be rhetorical. So they go inside the gallon like Matt. Um they're still hungry and he's like I'm like oh here comes the salad. It's finally viewing it so we had the salad the salad. What do you mean to say? Yeah he made some steak and they liked them in Tim's like that that chef got game, bro It's pants. That's take his pants the steak So the chef is like this is the most work. I've done in the galley all season everybody applaud him

And okay, it's like he did a great job Maybe because I walked him hand-in- hand over every item. Yeah, that was fun I've got goose bumps. They're like wow. He did that well. No the movie. I'll be in bed watching goose bumps Please don't bother me any better I love Jack black So she goes downstairs and Kyle is asleep in the crew mass and she's like, oh isn't that rich? There's Kyle sleeping on the very couch. He sat on when he called the interior lazy. What a hypocrite Okay, it's just like mentally storing and she's taking a like a inner Polarard photo. I'll be using this as evidence tomorrow

When I pass the aggressively approach him He's like, boom, man, you can bet. Boom. Boom. Oh, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the British. Boom. That's how he sleeps. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm's see here Bruno. Oh, so Bruno and Nico are talking and Nico's like,

yeah, yeah, man. So as you're like, okay, and he's like, look, I did a mistake, but all the mistakes in your life, you put them together, you get in a jog strap on Instagram. And you add L and T generous and hashtag Oprah. And you move forward. It's called positive attitude. Have you seen my winner? He's like, no, no, man. Keep your winner in there, man. That's positive. It's positive.

So then, yeah, Nico, everyone's getting into bed. And tellingly, Bri gets into her top bunk. Nico gets into his bottom bunk. There is no cuddling tonight. No, yeah, he's like, I'm asleep! She's like, okay, well I'm glad I wasted this lingerie. So now it's the morning. Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly. Okay, not today. Boop, boop, boop, boop. Braa. That's the sound of breath waking up in the morning. It's the apple, like, braa.

That was my attempt at making the apple turn on noise. I don't think I worked. So I'm sorry, I was texting my mother a passive aggressive text response while you were talking about it. Oh, okay. Yes, mother, I'm totally here for you. Totally get it, kind of busy. Okay.

So it's the morning and Bruno's leg is still gross. If not grosser than it was the day before. And we are like, let's look at every single cell on Bruno's wound. I think Al Scratz. So there was one point where Breonna was in the basement, whatever you call it. Yeah. Getting supplies, the, the, the, the build.

Okay. And then Matt's down there with her. And he's like, so did you find crackers? And she's like, well, we talked about staying two nights and two days after everybody is finished, but I mean, I am pretty sure we are still doing it. I just don't want you pressure him It is not like a honey moon just because we are in paradise. Does he love me does he not? Okay, right

I'm gonna make a lobster omelet now That's discussing your fuck life in the builds Bye so Chef makes lobster omelets and everyone likes them, but they want Wi-Fi again. So, they're like, we get some Wi-Fi. And meanwhile, Kyle starts pestering kids like folding napkins. She's like in her happy place, folding these napkins and Kyle's like, oh, it's more of a pest of you back yesterday, but since the sex party's not, but I won't know what the dude does all with it. You okay?

You okay? Nutri-bullet. Nutri-bullet. Oh. Kates like, I will let you know the details will come when they are ready. Is this when she was like, well, I wanna know what's going on with you mentally.

Or we're not back to you. I actually know. I think I actually got it wrong. I think that happens later. I think this is like a pre scene. This is like, this is Kate. Kyle was like, I want to know about Sir X Paladin. Kate was like, I will let you know when you need to know. There's nothing you need to know.

And I said, I just want us because it's to not, I will let you know I am dealing with Jen. I cannot deal with this Kyle. You were sleeping, by the way. Yeah, she's like, by the way, here's why I can't deal with it. Champagne tower, circus, 12 grand worth of fireworks, coaching the chef through his job, making sure the captain isn't wearing socks

under his tennis shoes. Yeah, that was like, that was a pretty special healing. Yeah, that was, that was, this was like the precinct to that. So then we see Jen and she's face timing with her daughter and like the daughter, like cries every day because mom is away and Jen's like, don't worry, I'm home soon and we can go to university studios, okay? I don't know why that cracked me up. It was like I feel like the dream you sell your kids is you're gonna go to Disney World. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. And then I'm leaving town again.

Liza isn't that weird? She just wants the curling iron back. I'm going to take you to a semi-satisfying theme park that only has three rides. Nothing will help this like a little back to the future, which are too young to understand. Isn't universal studios where Lisa Kudrow, did you, did you watch, the community Schmidt, no, Kimmy Schmidt season two. No, I just watched it for a season. Oh, because Lisa Kudrow plays, um, Kimmy Schmidt's mom and she tracks down her mom, I think at universal studios, because her mom was like a roller coaster fiend and she's like, I gotta go on this roller coaster

Universal Studios. I could have that wrong, but it was definitely at a amusement park. That's what I think if I just think of like, there's only one. Something like that. So anyway, I just thought it was funny that Janus made an oath or pledge to take

her daughter to Universal Studios. Also, if you're a good parent, here's how I know Jealous kind of fucking up. Besides the fact that she left her kid forever to do this stupid show. Somewhat, listen, teach your children America. Do not let them FaceTime with their phone all the way below their face.

It's like you're teaching your child to look terrible on FaceTime. How hard is you're teaching your child to look terrible on FaceTime How hard is it to teach your kids to look face on or slightly above? Yeah, well, it's Jen. We're talking about here That's true. She's like, okay, don't forget to curl your eye with the phone when you hang it up It's like wait, right? So let's see Tim logistics circus party and he's like, hey, Kate, are you gonna be the clown? She's like no, there will be one. She will also be a MIME. And her name is Jen. She's really good in an afro wig. So he's him wants to talk about the party and he's

announced that he wants to do a champagne fight at the party and he wants everyone to have protective goggles because you know champagne really burns the eyes. I'm like, what sort of champagne party has protective goggles? I mean, and also who like plans the champagne party? That's supposed to be like a spontaneous thing. You know, it's like you won the World Series and there's champagne there and you open it, you spray it, not like a deliberate, okay, we're gonna go upstairs and spray champagne in our faces. Yeah, I think it's like to pop each other with the corks.

I'm guessing like to shoot the corks at each other. Probably that. Well, he also said that they sting the champagne could sting. Yeah, it's probably because the corks could be. But also this kind of asshole is the one. He was like, hey, one-have-a-party, where we just get champagne all over the deck that you guys have to cover in teacoil tomorrow. Exactly. And they're ordering 72 more bottles of champagne. I don't even understand the logistics of this. Yeah, he's horrible

It's called how about you get like some streamers and one of those like noise makers like it's Whatever Anything rolls out. Okay, it's like it's only a matter of time before this boat just sings So then we see Kate building a champagne tower. She's like I have spent the past three hours watching Lexus commercials And I still cannot build my champagne tower. She's like, I have spent the past three hours watching Lexus commercials, and I still cannot build my champagne tower. Very important news. Oh, my leg. Oh.

Okay. Scratch. Hey, it's talking to Nico. And she's like, here's the thing with Kyle that really makes me upset. I hate when someone says, because we're friends. You know when they say that they're a monster. Do your friends say, hey, we're friends? No, no, they don't. And because just looking at her like,

something go home. Please let me just go home. Please. I should have let you just say it should have been me who left. So Kate, uh, ready when you are, Kate to everybody, ready when you are. So Kyle wants to talk to Kate,

because he's like, what? See, he's mean, Kate, we're sweet. I want no one's gonna happen with that bird either one mate so we're not what she likes me she don't I don't know it's time bird yeah so Kate still working on the champion tower and this is because and Kyle and she asked Kyle I just want to know where you are mentally, you know, because, you know, you were sleeping and it was just sort of funny because you would say that we were lazy and then you were the one that was sleeping in the crew mess so you can see the irony in that and just want to make sure you're mentally okay.

Yeah, and he keeps trying to come back. He's like, well, a few, I'm not done. Also, I feel like you were a little passive on the couch and then you were sleeping on that same couch. Well, I'm drawing myself, a little passive on couch and then you were sleeping on that same cat. Well, I'm trying to say not yet. Please be quiet. I was trying to say what I felt was like, no, she's like kept stopping him and she's like, not done.

It's about champagne towers. Okay. So please do not focus on your feelings. I wish I could be like that. Wham! My feelings are hurt. But I don't have time for that. It's like, well, I'm too leaves. It's like, yes. That is how to have an argument right there. Oh man. And then next week, Kate's head just fully explodes, I'm sure. Like on the season finale of Blow Deck, Kate's head blows up. Which basically means she'll take a cute tip into your

and pull out some hacks. Yeah. Like the Kate had explosion. Hi. Hi. Hi. Next week is the season finale and it looks like Niko's gonna break up with Bri and Kate and Jenark probably

gonna fight again. So it's all good times. We're looking forward to it. She'll be like, can we still go for that two days? He'll be an extra, Mon. So everyone, thank you, of course, for listening to our humble podcast. Get tickets, order tickets.

You have to look out for tickets. All that stuff. Watchcraftpans.com is where you need to be. And we'll be here tomorrow, where we can talk about real house lives of New Jersey. The Joyce. The Joyce. Classic match.

Classic match. Classic match. Love you everybody. Bye! Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts.

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