Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: One Stew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest

Episode Date: December 24, 2019

It's another night out with the cavemen on this week's "Below Deck," and this time around, Smashton is drunk, horny, AND violent. It's enough to make a head stew quit. Luckily, we'll always have Master Pierson. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Incredible edible Matthew sisters. And... Mina Kuchikuchi. Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits

I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits I've been so much like rabbits Hello and welcome to Watcher Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just

love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is a cartoon that you can watch on YouTube. You may have heard of that site. And joining me is a hilarious man who does hilarious things like cohost The Rose Prick's Bachelors podcast. It's Ronnie Kara. What's going on Ronnie? Hi, man. Hi. So, Sup, Brie. Sup, Brie.

Well, welcome to the show. It's, I guess, our Christmas Eve show, even though we're actually recording it, Christmas Eve Eve. It's a late night recording, which means we'll be probably a little crazy. And I haven't had dinner yet. So, I'll be crazy and hungry. Well, that's funny, but I just saw on our break today, I went and I went to home goods, you know, some attacks. And there's a sign, like a gather type sign, but it says

hangry. Oh, yeah. Let's get that for a little bit, Jim. It's perfect for me. But it is perfect for me. What else? There's no but attached. It's just perfect for me. But I did to have a cookie right before this. So that's going to hopefully last me through the episode but I know guarantees Okay, now me did you know okay? It's not a guarantee guys just to enjoy it while you're here just enjoy it until Ben's had exploits Okay, I know here's one thing that is guaranteed that we have live shows and we are starting them up next month in

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And don't forget to also sign up on Patreon and get access to our bonus episodes. This week we're doing our second part of our top chef cast previews and all star seasons. So we're going to go weigh in on some people that we actually have some impressions of in terms of not like impersonations, but actual takeaways from watching them on TV. So that's a Patreon as well as crap is on demand and all the other good stuff. So that's patreon.com slash watch what crappies. That's pretty much about it. We got a nice big problematic below deck tonight.

Well, sort of, yeah, I guess it just gets problematic or just like icky. RAPY. I'll let a RAPY episode of below deck. Sure. You know, it's another it's another home run. Hey, get another home run for man. Not that yeah on below deck. Can we play deck really is just reinforcing every terrible terrible bail. Stereotype or, you know, bad reputation well-earned man.

Okay, really earning it out there in the world. Yeah, we really we really are. What's a great. It's a great way to show the bullshit that women have to deal with all the time. It's really just sort of like to still down here in On Below Deck. Yes, and it ended last week with a very exciting... I am fucking calm. Don't tell me to calm down.

God damn it. Got it? Sorry. Like Riley yells so much. She turns into Captain Lee in my head. That's all right. Oh god damn it got it yeah like Riley yells so much I and she turns it me Captain Lee in my head that's all right um but Captain Lee knows how to do a bull and not apparently but not cap Riley so that was like a big thing in the first half the episode like we'll Riley learn how to do a bull and not so uh

the yeah the episode is like Riley is like getting mad at the guys because they're being obnoxious to her as usual. And then the smoke alarms are going off because the exhaust fan is broken. So the kitchen is like all smoky. And Kate has like a very good observation. She's like, you know, I don't blame Kevin for the exhaust fan not working, but if the exhaust fan's not working, like, why would you use the grill with a broken exhaust fan? I mean, if I had a broken blender, I wouldn't be pushing Copiniacoladas. Huh?

Hey. Hey. It's bad. It's smoky all the way out. fan. I mean, if I had a broken blender, I wouldn't be pushing Copinioladas. Hey, it's true. It's smoky all the wound. You're master piercings sounding a little bit like Gina today. I like that. There's not a very big difference. Which came first? Yeah. So, yeah. So, it's like, seven signs of a yacht apocalypse smoke children in laws unreasonable beaches men who were assholes Tanner being disgusting

Courtney still not ironing things Kevin I mean trying to tie it up. Yeah, diarrhea. I guess that's more than seven, huh? Actually, it was less than seven. There was smoke, children, and laws, unreachable beaches, no AC in the galley and diarrhea. I just think I have to save up on seven. Yeah.

And then the seventh one is not being able to come up with the seventh one. I would come up with the seventh one, but I'm choking to death. So, yeah, sometimes the apocalypse rags early. Who says there have to be seven signs, sometimes six is enough. So the guys are, you know, working, trying to figure out how to get Riley's not done. And Ash is like, Riley's hit state. You should have seen it before. You should have seen it before.

Oh, I saved it. She tries not to like a two year old. It's very dangerous. Yeah Yeah, because he's like you know five seconds done to hire not the commit the difference between life and death. I know for experience And meanwhile the catcher's like fucking round in the kitchen She's holding up a tray and looking at her own reflection in it and going people think that we're what we're doing is easy Like it's all smoking mirrors, but it's not. See what did there? Some prop comedy Kevin. Like it. Like that. And Kevin just matters to himself and squeeze his citrus really hard onto his salad. That's his go to his go to it. I cannot wait to to getting up on great behind the back. Well, I'm being nice right

to a face. Look at me squeezing this orange for the I am a chef. I am a chef. I say. So the grandpa, the grandparents are talking to little master Pearson. And the grandpa's like, has he gotten taller or something? And the mom's like, oh, yeah, you haven't seen him in six months. Welcome to growth. Welcome to humanity, stupid. Yeah, you're only getting lunch grab before we ship you back to Pukat. So then Master Pierce and it's like, I gotta start the animal when I win.

And then the grandma or some of the mom is like, does he have a name? I forgot what the name is. Oh, wow. So you think you're a special Master Pierce name? You get an animal you don't even name it. How dare you? I call him, get me a lemonade, you poor person. No, I mean, get me a lemonade, you poor person. Scram, I was like, geez. He's like, I named it, oh, I'm bleeding.

Then the grandma takes the dinosaur and force kisses Force kisses the dinosaur into master Pearson's face and I was like wow. It's like a sign of things to come It really is as mr. Is master Pearson excited for lunch. I'm too hot. I'm hot it out again very much like Gina I'm hot it out. I'm writing for New Jersey. It's not like that. Master Pearson, where did you get that gather sign? Master Pearson, are you changing apartments again? Master Pearson is your hair damaged? Your hair damaged. Master Pearson, that bleach shop actually looks really good on you.

Very cute on you. Yeah, it actually works for you. So now this is exciting because we get Daryan, Daryan, up to the bridge, Daryan. I love that Daryan. I just like all of a sudden there's like another crew member, you know. Yeah, whenever, whenever shit hits the fan, you see the crew come out. They're like, oh, hi, great to be here. All right, Larry Berry and Harry couldn't make it. Okay, so guess I'm stuck with this fucking exhaust fan. I know. He like, they like unlock the steerage compartment and finally let out the first engineer who's been like absent since the very first episode when he gets introduced for one second. I know,

and it really does go to show you why people are cast on TV and why people aren't. Because they're like, Daryne, you're going to save our lives. He's like, oh. It's like tapping the exhaust fan. Like, alright, something will work here. They don't even give him a microphone because he winds up going up to see Captain Lee and Captain Lee is like, so how's that fan going? He's like, it's a little bit of, it's a mystery.

It's a mystery. Wow, you can't even get a mic on him real quick for his one scene. His one scene where he has dialogue. They're like, no, no, no. Darien really got screwed on this line. Yeah, he did. So in the kitchen, the guests have just eaten

and Kate comes in with plates and she's like, Oh, Kevin, it's the first time family styles ever worked. That was good. The guests are actually the guests, that was just the just finished a course of some sort because they're still eating something another and while they're eating there, they're sad that they didn't get to go to the beach

because that was like gonna be the highlight. And then the grandma, she's like eating her lamb and she goes, well, there's no mint sauce for the lamb. Shut up grandma, all right. This is why you're only around for like one meal and then they ship you off. I know, I just like the idea that she like lives in a country with famously like bold exotic,

well not exotic to them, exotic to us and like intense, major flavors. And then she still wants her like 1950s, like, mint jelly on the side of her lamb. Yeah, gotta have that mint jelly. I just like that she's coming on this really expensive day that her kids paying for and she's complaining about something. Okay, enjoy your free yacht meal before we, you know, toss you into the

dingy. I know. The other dude is probably still sniffing wine and saying perfect. Well, he was the one. Yeah, he was the one. He was going The the asshole. I'm sorry. You said are you saying the grandfather or the ass? No, he was like a he was like the at the The the the sniffer guy. Yeah, the wine glass niffor shut up with your wine glass niff He was the one he said. Yeah, they pretty much now they except for the beach. It's like oh, yeah You're a regular bay watch over there.

Yeah. It's simmer down now. It winds. Yeah, he weighs and he goes, I personally don't think it was that treacherous. I'm like, where are your stripes, Madame Epilette? Madame Epilette. Yeah, where are your stripes? Whistons, when are you like an authority on what's treacherous and what's not?

Have you seen this crew? Have you seen, have you seen these decans? You should be so lucky that you're still alive just being on that tender for for five minutes. Yeah, he's like, we could have we could have beached it. It would have been fine. Okay. Okay. So then Courtney is offering a watermelon. Oh no, Brian is offering Courtney a watermelon flip. Who cares? Ron, if you get your facts straight about this watermelon. Like I am checked to myself. No, they're basically just commutal.

They're some sort of canutal thing happening and then they get interrupted by Kevin and Brian's like, we need the cool knees around me. She's so cute, but then people it was interrupted and she puts a gold up like okay whatever you know you're hot You'll just wait around you'll you'll be fine. Yeah woman needs her guard up in this cast seriously I mean right can you blame her and also because Kevin's like I didn't I said interrupting something Jesus mr. Dolby's saying, you always interrupting something. So, the dad's like, well, I haven't seen any jellyfish so far.

Let's pull that 97,000-bore toys. I know. And Riley turns to Pearson and goes, well, you know what they say about the slide, when in Thailand, I'm like, I think that's like, that sentiment's gonna be lost on Master Pearson. I don't think he understands that expression. Yeah, he's like, when in Thailand, get my Batmobile. Poor person.

When in Thailand, get me jelly from my grandmother, you motherfucker. Captain and Kater talking. And Kater's like, all right, well, 15 minutes to ride write for those the parents will be here fucking mint jelly lady and Kater's like well that's the way to deal with in us. She's a genius. We're bringing you here for lunch. Bye. That's exactly right. So yes, the little dinghy comes and gets the parents by grandma by grandpa have some fun mint jelly down in Patong Beach or wherever go have fun So everyone the boys are like yeah teamwork. Yeah, boozy that we brought in those water toys and Riley's like you want me to get Butter toys no thanks, Riley. We've got it the boys who got it. Are you sure? Do you want me to start?

Beaming out whatever that means I know no thanks. We've got it the boys who got it. Are you sure you want me to start Beaming out over that means no, no, thanks. We've got it. We've got the beaming out whatever that means Yeah, and Tanner goes. Yeah, nice teamwork everyone and she's yeah nice teamwork got it got it nice teamwork got it Rolling up and got a vacation Got it. I'm standing God of the patient. I'm gonna say, Dan for two areas. All right, good, good Dan for two hours. She's like, and got it. This isn't. Just wake me up at a quarter pass. Got it.

The captain is in the mirror in a tuxedo coming his hair. He's like, fucking, GQ over here. Look, I know things didn't go as planned, but tonight I'm pulling out all the stops to show him a good time. That means some extra old spice and a really old tuxedo. That's kind of ironed. God bless some own. She's a good kid. A gentleman doesn't leave home without bringing his tux. That's what I that's what I guys. Does he talk to me without bringing his fucks as in in I don't give a fuck So I got in my suitcase just because I'm prepared prepared I am prepared I got my tux and

If this tux accept guess who's getting it one way take it home a tuxedo Okay, man, never leaves house with that is tux. It's just good taste Okay, good man. Never leaves the house with that as tux. It's just good taste. Okay. The flower shirt really needs to come back. If you're really, if we're going to talk about taste, get that flower shirt out there. I was hoping that there would be like some sort of flower element to the tux, you know, like maybe flower blazer or a flower cummerbund, something like that, like a big, like bird of paradise situation. No, a Kevin and Kate are talking, and he's like, you know, I'm at that point

where you just like, okay, needy-city model. And she's like, yeah, I reached out at Charter too. Yeah. And then she starts doing her table scape because it's a roaring 20s party, and she goes, oh God, the deck ends are gonna hate us, feathers everywhere. Sorry, I should have, okay, I'm gonna leave this more flowers

over here, feathers over here, sorry. Sorry. Whoops. So the little girl who gets no attention because Master Pearson takes all the attention is getting ready and she's so cute too. Like why don't you get a hint? She is adorable.

They're adorable. And like I love that Master Pearson's tension, which happens later, like compared to everyone, every other child you've seen on Bravo is so benign It's like he's like no mother and that's like the extent of it. It's like wow. He's he's out of control Mother I do not like this sauce. She's like that's it. You're never eating again. No crem brulee for you You monster child, but mother so then for you, you monster child. But mother. So then the good news is that Darian fixed the fan.

They're like, yay, Darian. We'll never see you again. Kate's like, you're a legend, Darian. Give us speech. She's like, well, I just told you to start by. I think you never mind. Get out, Darian. Back to the city table.

Get too much ambient sound. Too much ambient sound in your voice. So then Captain Lee comes to the desk. I'm not the desk to the table. And he's like, well, look at me. I'm wearing a tux. This is my best Titanic Halloween costume. Daddy! Daddy! Daddy, can you heal me from the Titanic? I feel like I just would not joke with the Titanic if I were on a boat in the middle of the ocean.

Yeah, I guess if you're a captain, you're not going to be able to do that. from the Titanic. I feel like I just would not joke with the Titanic if I were on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Yeah, I guess if you're captain, I guess you make jokes like that. I guess so. I'm not even gonna make comparisons of why of other types of vehicles where dressing like that would be bad, because it would just get worse. I'm gonna control myself. We're dressing like being on the Titanic

could be worse? No, but I'm dressing like equivalents, you know? Oh yeah. I'm just not gonna go into the world of disasters. Like, does that, like, I'm just telling people, I'm basically asking for for a place. You know, like, welcome to Southwest Airlines

where all the stewardesses are dressing like Amelia Earhart now. Yeah. I'm a man at like Amelia Earhart. Yeah. I'm a man at town now. Exactly. That's a better way. That's a better version. So anyway, it's better version of a terrible something to say or to not make people at ease.

You know what's not making people at ease and me trying to explain. I know. I'm not trying to say. Because now we're all wondering what the hell you were going to say and it makes it like 20 times worse. Because now I can say. I was going to say, you're going to know you're going to know you're not going to say, because now we're all wondering what the hell you were gonna say and it makes it like 20 times worse because now I was gonna say I was gonna say I was gonna say I was gonna talk about it's like you know what? It's like it's like Snoopy Being the red Baron there. No I say I tried to take it to a sweet and cut a loop place

The point is this the point is this Kevin is plating. He's plating his soup Broccoli and spinach soup and it's like electric green, and it has a feta foam. And now, I like broccoli, and I like spinach, and I probably have no general problem with them being together, but there's something about a broccoli spinach soup that kind of triggers like weird childhood things, where you're just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah. Don't you have any Brussels sprouts that you could throw in there and just make it a trifecta fucking terrible for children? I know. I know. It's like this, it's this neon green. I mean the green is so green. I was just like, what is this? Crazy soup that he's serving. It shouldn't be that color. And Master Pierce is like, what is that? Smash Green Peans? Lame! And they sub-titled him going, Lame! Yeah, that's bad. If you got a lame from Master Pierce and this is a kid

within the adventurous palette. Like earlier, they were like, well, Master Pierce and just loves his fish. When, since when does anyone say that about a five-year-old? Oh, you know, Master Pierce and he just loves his red snapper. Uh, someone from Love at my niece, since she was a little baby, just grabs handfuls of sushi and shoves of down. So, you're...

Who could... Well, sushi is just, you know, it's just wonderful. So, you know, your niece has good taste. Jin Jin Hannah. Jin Jin Hannah. Looking good to me, show, jiyun jiyun hanna. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ

or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wunderys New Podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle

between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. So then Kate is like, all right, Kevin, the first three adjectives out of their mouth were delicious, wonderful, and good. And that's just went derriant past. Can't wait to think, can't wait to see what they think about your food.

Yeah. I think that I think there was, unfortunately, the fourth adjective of the used was lame and the fifth one was awful and the sixth one was I'm a perk. I'm a perk. A lot of puke. Yeah, which is coincidentally the color of your soup

that I added. I heard that part. It's a Yada apocalypse. So now the big moment we've all been waiting for, the Noth fight, as in the KNOT fight, not that it was a not fight, not that it was okay. You speak on it. We got it. No, watch the show.

We get to be. I'm like going in, I'm doing like my own one-man abacastella routine in my brain, but I'm putting the wrong things in the wrong part. I'm like, who's on third, third for what, who's in what, like you're ruining the bit, Ben, with yourself? No, Ben. It's a not fight. Every bit begins with Ashley okay both fight so ashton has Tanner and Riley both you know just so he doesn't get you know lit on fire And he's like all right now

Tannikas hey Riley what's up? It's just weird I know she just comes in like already like Clearly do not take those two hours to sleep. She just she spent that entire time just fuming just going over in her head nice teamwork nice teamwork nice teamwork Got it so ashes like I'm gonna give you both a rope and You need to learn to do a bow and quite well. that's it. We're gonna learn it right now.

I'm very patient and it's gonna take five seconds to undo and on. Now listen, if it takes five seconds to undo and on, I know from experience that can be the difference between life and death. Yeah, do you want to show the clip again? No, oh, wow, you're not even showing the clip again of me almost. Wow, I must have really, really got on the bad side of people this season. So then Riley is like, um, so like, really gotten the bad sort of people this season. So then Riley is like, so like,

when do you want us to show you or anything like that? And Ashley's like, do you have an issue? She's like, I don't have an issue. I already did it. Rowdy. It's not something I use in the fishing battle lot. I don't know what to say.

Okay, I did it. Got it, got it, bull and not, got it. I don't need to use a bull and not while I'm shooting moves on the boat in Alaska. I was like, Rowdy, you're giving me me energy? The less you say to be that. She's like, Oh, yeah, unless I say that better. Look, yes, yes, unless you say it's better to keep quiet on your superior and situation. So that doesn't jackass. He doesn't respect me as a person or as a coworker. So then, so then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then,

then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then then Ashton's like, I'm gonna be taking seriously. Watch my flashlight. I've got a tiny flashlight. I'm gonna hold it up. He's like holding his flashlight up. Like he's Nancy Drew looking for something other way. He's like trying to be like, like Darian. He's like, look at me.

I can be like Darian too and inspect machinery. Got it. I'm not machining me. I'm Riley. You have a bad attitude. I asked you to do something. Don't come here with a bad attitude again. This is the guy, Smash Gen, who's already a cost, who already destroyed a DJ's equipment,

like on the day off, okay? So he walks away and Riley's like, I know, I know how it is, like I can't do it, but you guys can do it. Okay, now you guys are my issue. That's the issue. Got it. And Ash should just keep pointing that light that's not on. It was cracking, but he held it like a weapon

above his head the whole time. He's like, listen here, Rory. It's like, ooh, your tiny flashlight's terrifying. I know, you're terrifying, Muriel. Mm, so Kevin, it's like this is going to be the best till it can the world. They were like two centimeters tall, two centimeters thick. I was like, wow, thanks for, thanks for frying up that salt tack for everyone. He's like, feel the height, bro.

And with him, he frying these steaks. They were definitely,'re on like the uh... right or something what do you call that the uh... i forgot what you call like the big like it's sort of like a giant griddle like that like a food trucks you know those things it has like a very fancy name the flat top

the flat top that has a fancy name also but flat top yes that's what we called it back when I was 15 into shift at the snack bar in a bowling alley. The dad is like wow guys I haven't seen someone pull out the slide as much as this crew. Hey captain you're doing great. The captain's like did you use it? I know one toe headed a little boy who did master Pearson. Like what did you call me poor person? Yeah, I went down that slide so many times, but still didn't find the mint. Joey. That was for you grandma.

I could have been get bit by a Joey fish and it would have been West lame than the food you gave me. He doesn't count if you serve me soup that looks like me. Joey, if it's not me. Too late. He doesn't count if you serve me soup that looks like mint Joey if it's not mint Joey Too wait So um so now Ashton's like with Tanner and like Talk talking about the Riley and the Bowlands and everything and Tanner like does a Bowland and Ashton you know like Ashton's just like He's like everything else could get taken as a person to attack brew it takes's taken as a person to attack, bro. It takes, it's just a person to attack.

I'm like, maybe that's because like the moment she tried to like do it, you just like started yelling at her immediately. Well, she does it too, you know? She does. She does. She does. But Riley enters every situation like, what? Why is it like that?

You know, it's like, it doesn't help. They're like housewives basically. Yeah. Well, also like Riley does. Like Kate later says that Riley has to learn how to take direction. And it's it's true because Riley is like, I mean, a bull and not like, it's just like, you know, it's like not the only not you can use. This is Ashton main child. There's some like, yeah, but he's also your boss and he said, do the bull and not so do the bull and not.

She goes, I don't know how to do the bull and, but it's not the only not you can use. She goes, I don't know how to do the bowling, but it's not the only not you can use. So, Ashton, did you notice the Ashton? Okay, he's talking about professionalism and all of this, but he's talking to Tanner. He's like, all I wanted to do was show you guys how to tie the bowling. And Tanner's like, I loved it, but he's like,

yeah, I won't show it to him again today. And she just can't do it. And he's like, well, my problem is, like Tanner still doesn't seem to know how to do it either. Yeah. Ashton, instead of like finishing the lesson, he's just bitching to his employee about another employee. Yeah. Super professional. Yeah. I mean, Ashton has really proven to be like not

not such a professional professional. So yes, he's on to. He kills him. He kills the best of them. So then, um, I said that they served this sous vide Australian steak, and Master Pearson is like looking at the plate and he's like, what's that? And they're like, that's a Jimmy Churray. I don't want that. What part of Jimmy Churray says, man, Joey bitch? Yeah, similar.

Similar. It's like a green sauce. It's green. It's getting closer. Not man, Jelly. Kevin's just like, sauce. It's green, it's getting closer. Not mentally. Yeah, Kevin's just like, I'm sorry, Dan. I'm sorry. I'll do any kind of green bushy thing I can from now on.

You have disappointed me as a son, Kevin. So I'm sorry to harp on this. I'm just very confused about the sous vide part of this Crasped Beef. So did he sous vide it? And then he just threw it on the flat top to get a nice crisp on it. And can you do that?

I thought he probably cooked. I feel like he probably seared it first because the sous vide is supposed to take it to the proper temperature. And I feel like if you take it to the proper temperature and then you risk not taking it to the proper temperature. And I feel like if you take it to the proper temperature and then you see your you risk not taking into the proper temperature, but if you see it first, you can still take it to where it needs to be. Oh, I'm assuming, you know, I stay away from anything sous vide in home cookery because

I've seen too many of our favorite top chef contestants fail in the final episode because they decide to sous vide something instead of cook it the way they do every single other episode. And you've never seen a piece of chicken looking grosser than when it's been sous vide. It looks so gross, like jelly glue. It's like jelly glue. Have we ever, like, I feel like I've never even had sous vide.

Unless maybe I'm just not told about it, but I feel like everywhere, like every restaurant I go to, I never see anything that says sous vide, but then again, maybe it's not in the description. Yeah, I had sous vide, me, but it's, to me, I don't like it. To me, it's like airline food. I mean, that's what a lot of airline food is, you know?

Or it's just, there's like a wet, even though it's in the plastic bag in the water, but there's so much moisture kept in the meat that it's just spongy to me. It grosses me out. Yeah, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. And Kevin's like insistence on sous-vying so many things.

I feel like it annoys me. Yeah. Well, I ate Domino's tonight, so there's where my palate's at. I've had a taste cookie. So that's what that's my dinner. A taste cookie. So I thought just, just I'm sorry I'm not making funny. That's just like I've never said that. Like I've had that I had a Tates Cookie. But you've had Tates cookies. Yes, but cookies. Like I ate a bag of Tates cookies. Oh, I know you're saying. Oh, well, it's not like it was the only cookie I had

today. It was just the most recent thing that went in my mouth, but like yes. Yeah, so the chimichurri sauce. He's like, I don't want this. Like, then don't eat it. It's time for bed. Stop it. Seen sit down. So then kids like, I'm master Pearson is having a tantrum on the F deck. And then the mom comes in and it's like, since my son's not behaving, just make sure he gets no dessert. So there's that. And then Master Pearson gets sent to bed with no dessert.

And not only does he get sent to bed, he leaves the table with no resistance, just sort of sad and marching to the bed. I was like, this family does not, I love that they don't fuck around. They did not cave in, he got no dessert. They like made a promise, they made a threat and they stuck to it.

And also, Master Pearson is like the most well-behaved tantrum child going to bed I've ever seen in my life. I wouldn't mess with that mom either. She stays so calm and she's just so chill about it. She's like, well, next time we should listen to mommy a Okay, that's what happens when you're a bad boy, sir Anybody going upstairs to have some crème brulee and maybe even some mint jelly for grandma. Oh, she didn't behave either Her head is at your bedside. That's what happens when you don't listen to mommy

We're gonna go to the beach after all see it tomorrow Tanner is Asking Kate if she's enjoying her Crembrule because before she's like, um, he's not eating that Crembrule I'm I want it and Tana's like, I'm gonna eat it before you get bake here, which is this way flirting I guess it's like caveman flirting and she's like, huh? So when he comes when he sees her again, he's like, are you enjoying that Kareem Broulai? Are you enjoying that, chick? I appreciate it. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks. Wow. You're like my night in shining armor. Thanks for the tiny cup of dessert that you didn't scarf after I called it already. Thanks. It's rightfully mine.

Exactly. And Simone, meanwhile, is getting annoyed at Tanner because he keeps on saying, like, so was Simone. We're keeping this casual, right? Yeah, we're keeping this casual. She keeps saying it over and over again, and she's getting annoyed because it's making her seem like she's the one who's being clingy.

He's sort of like gaslighting her, you know? So she's just getting annoyed with him, which makes me happy because she should be annoyed with him and like moving on very quickly. He's like, he's making me uncomfortable because he's actually not going to love with him it's something and it's not the case. Yeah, checking her phone to see if he's texting.

Exactly. Making out with Barf face. So Riley is in her room. We're just barf. Yeah. So Riley goes to her in Kate's room and Kate's like, um, hello, Riley, what's your problem? Bowling knots, got it.

I'm thinking of them acting like I'm not even there. And then they come and tell me like everything I do is wrong, like I'm an idiot. Fucking Bowling not there. Yeah. Yeah. More like Bowling, got it, okay? So Kate's like, well, we're just not dealing with

too mature individuals. And yeah, basically she's like Ashens immature, but Riley needs to learn how to take direction and they both are just like, they need to grow up. So then it's the next morning. And Tanner's like, see Brian, I was like, hey, while you were asleep, guess what you missed? We all making bowling knots and then Riley was just totally acting up

I was like whoa, I was someone tie a bowling knot around their mouth am I right bro? Am I right? Yeah? Keep it in casual Listen in action totally stood there in a power stance It was like you listen to your boss. I love that. That's the power stance He was standing there with it with the tiny little flesh like pointed up or like holding it up above his head. Scary stuff. Why am I talking like that?

Scary stuff. Ah. Yeah. Brian's like, ooh. Oh of all, I love hectic as slang. Second of all, yeah, and you guys aren't being hectic. Did you see, like, Ashen literally had a tantrum with his mini flashlight, okay? That's the definition of hectic. Yeah. Well, the dad is now getting bitchy. I think it's time for these people to go. The dad needs to go dad for a nap because the dad's like, wow, she remembered the honey and everything the last charter she always

remembers. Oh okay nice dad turned bitchy. I totally missed that nice dad turned bitchy that'll be on his LinkedIn. Yeah nice dad turned bitchy. Bravo's below that. Yeah. So Kevin's asking Tanner about Simone. He's like, yeah, I want to keep a casual. You know, and kids like, um, what does casual mean to you? Is that like, when you say you don't want to hook up with her and then you get drunk and then after you have a jet, you text her at 2 a.m. and then have her come over and then, you know, eat her out. And then the next morning say that you wanna keep a casual as that what that is, is that it? It's like, yeah, you know, like I wanna,

I just, I don't even know what I wrote for Tanner, but she's like, well, apparently he's never had a boat romance because you don't just break up, okay? You just wait for the charter to end and then you go, okay, bye. Yeah, Tanner wants to break up, like quote unquote break up with Simone, which is funny because like he's saying

that he wants us to be a casual and not a relationship, but he's the one who's planning to break up with his not girlfriend. I'm like, that's last time I checked it, sounds like you're the one who thinks it's a relationship. Yeah, you just heard this into a relationship So and Kate's right like she's like just because you may just like say to Simone like I don't want to keep hooking up because I want to be able to like bang other chicks and you know like

Whatever and it doesn't mean that Simone won't still have up like issues. Because his whole thing is he wants to break up with her, quote unquote, break up with her, so that way people stop, like you can hit on other girls the club and people will stop saying, you're making Simone feel bad, you're making Simone feel bad. I'm like, guess what? She's still gonna feel bad. Yeah, I mean, hopefully not, hopefully not.

But you know what I'm saying? No, I'm saying. Benchely, am I right? I do, he just wants, you know, he wants his Simone and to eat it too. So. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, He's like, oh, I heard about the problem with Riley, Lesnant Brue. Just saying, I can do this last shoulder with just the three of us, just saying. So I didn't you just start walking like, how about this girl just saved your ass and kept you on the boat by showing up and doing stuff while you were incapacitating it?

Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, like try not to like walk into walls from now on and then we'll discuss getting rid of Riley. So, so it's a breakfast time and everyone likes breakfast. I'm la, blah, blah, blah, blah, and cake to the wheelhouse. Big news, Kate, today's drop off is going to be a little bit different. We're taking on fuel. So we're going to remove the gas by Kinder and then we're going to go up to a barge and be like, Hey, barge, here's my taxido and they're going to give us fuel and return. And then we're going to go do a tip meeting and then we're going to go to the dock and then we're gonna go up to a barge and be like, hey, barge, here's my tuxedo and they're gonna give us fuel and return and then we're gonna go do a tip meeting and then we're gonna go to the dock

and then we're gonna clean the dock and then the barge is gonna be like, hey, oh, one way ticket to the next yacht to fill up. You know what I'm saying? Every country's different when it comes to fueling. In this case, the mom is deciding how we're doing this. She said we're gonna be fueling up on something called soil and green. We're supposed to pick up the package in the middle of the ocean and

put it in the boat and never speak of it again. You know, we have to go to a fuel barge and if you want fuel, you got to play by the rules. So sliling green, it is. Kevin, you seem to be particularly interested in this. I'll cook something, Adivate. Something greener than you've ever seen, Adivate. Did he? Did he? You thought my broccoli and spinach green soup was greener than you've ever seen? Wait till you see this one. It's called Soilant Green Mint Jelly, my own creation. Poor grandma, grandpa. So I went green mint jelly my own creation. Poor grandma and grandpa. And I think she was actually joking

when she said them in jelly because I saw like a little bit of a joke. I was like, like a smile. And I was like, I don't care. I'm just looking for it. We've already murdered you in your mind, in our mind. So it's like, well, thanks for the update, Captain. He's like, well, thanks for my Cheerio and caffeine.

Why is this milk so green? Is it Shamrock Shake Time? Just everything is green and disgusting. I'm just going to go right now. So Brian asks Courtney out for a date, which is of course my least favorite below deck tradition, which is at three quarters of the way through a charter. Someone goes, there's like an awkward date. It's never not been awkward, it's always been awful.

I think it must be something that the producers make two people do every single season. Yes. And God, God think back to Kate's date, where she's like, I'm gonna wear my fancy scarf. And then Hannah's date, where she really Hannah was always trying to make it work. She's like, put on love you.

But now, yeah, Courtney is carrying on the tradition of hating an awkward date. I know. Well, I also have to mention, remember there was that really terrible date between, was his name like EJ or something like that? He was like the Canadian guy. And then there was that,

that Decan who's like, whoa, yeah, man. And they had like this awkward date where he's like, oh, so how's it going, huh? And she's like, oh, it's awesome, man. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, and do you remember the date with Aisha? I think Aisha's the one who enjoyed that little date seeing the box. Yeah. Aisha and Jack, that was a cute date. There was of course, we'll never

forget Ben and Bunny from... Bunny was on Blow Deck Med, right? That was when Ben was on Blow Deck Med. Yeah, his first time when they were like, sorry, rabbit. Yeah, rabbit. And the last day, she's like, you know, know if all if I would have done this show differently You did a terrible draw, but hand a psychops smack. No, that was not no that wasn't rabbit that was Her name was like boobsy or Bobsy or someone I forget all their names, but there she was the one who was like if I want to She's too. Oh, you're right. You're right, but um Rabbit was the rabbit was the one like the glasses at the very end of Ember. Yeah If I want to see you. Oh, you're right. You're right. But rabbit was the rabbit was the one with the very end of member. Yeah, she's like you stuck at your job. So many, so many

formative podcasts. Okay, so I make up for all the bumbling we just did over names and not remembering everything that we've recapped over the years. Let me just mention what Asha mentioned apparently on her podcast. Hi, Asha, I love you. Go listen to Asha's podcast. She has a blood deck podcast. But I've read this on Facebook that she hooked up

with Tanner. Ew. No, Asha. No. No. No. No. No.

Terrible. No. There's no justice in this world. Oh, terrible. Oh, there's no justice in this world. Well, so Brian is like, so, oh, so Brian asked Courtney up for a drink. I guess I'll do it. So then they're all changing into we ready earlier.

Well, there are three towers of seafood. No. So they're changing into whites and they're all like packing because the guests are going to leave and they have to go on this little boat. It's not to put on another life jacket for Pearson. And he's like, mine smells close. And the mom goes, you'll live.

That's my mom's favorite quote. You'll live. So then the lady who fell last time's like, oh, thanks, guys. I didn't trip this time. It's like, oh, thanks guys. I didn't trip this time It's like wow way to take the blame off what's his buns and no Chandler who's probably like like carrying like a tall stack of plates at this moment like like two stories high And he's like whoa, oh, I sure hope I don't fall over sir like whoa oh I sure oh I don't fall over sir so my dad turned bitchy dad is like we had a wonderful vacation you guys knocked it out of the park would wine sniff like to say anything

mom's like okay I'll say it for you wine sniff thanks for being so great with the kids only bummer is we didn't get to go to the beach. The kids are so bummed. Oh, fucking contact mother nature. Yeah, seriously. What do you, what do you, what do you people complain to? But don't worry, we left you a really good tip. I mean, we all put in the same amount of money. Didn't we, why and sniff? Oh, yeah, totally. I totally put in the same amount. You guys will get a great tip. Why and sniff, why do you have feathers coming out of your pocket? He's like stealing the table scapes. He has all the mint jelly, but I thought I plated the mint jelly and fall there.

It's a good. Daddy, I want a wasting boat when I go up. If you grow up kid, yeah, the mom first he got through the mountain off and he won't grow. I'm just like grandma who's fueling this boat well, we were gonna give you a racing boat last night, but you'd mouth off sorry Give it to your sister instead Tip meeting Never pick them the books

Well, I thought this chart it did well. I mean Kevin didn't suck. So congrats Kevin. He's like, thank you, Diddy. So yeah, so they get a tip that's like 16,000, which is about 1500 per person, which is on the lower end. Kate's not happy. She's like, you know, this is like, this is not the tip I was expecting her hoping for. I mean, there were children. I had a right to know her requests. The boat was, same time the boat was filled with smoke and Ashton cancelled the beach party. Emphasis on Ashton cancelled the beach party. So I guess, I guess I can't really be surprised. Why am I the only one who's good at my job? Anyone? Can't let's have doing all the work here. Where did that come from? Yeah, no, they didn't really build that up.

They built it up a little bit that Kate was getting tired of the lack of respect for her rank, but it sort of just sort of wedged that in there. Yeah, it just seemed to come out in there where like, why am I the only one who couldn't work? Wait, why? So, Ashden is like, he wants to flake the chain? And Riley's like, I'll be your fake today. He's like the job Riley. I'm a good flake.

I'm gonna keep the same flake until I get a laugh on this fucking radio. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, so, um, uh, so now they dock. It's like docking, docking, docking, we're coming in, we're coming in. Oh god, oh god, the boat's coming in. It's gonna, oh, we've done it.

Good job, kiddos. Did a great job, we're coming in. Oh God, oh God, the boat's coming in. It's gonna, oh, we've done it. Good job, kiddos. Did a great job, kiddos. So, kid, so, kid's with Cornies. And she's like, oh, why are you so grumpy? I like that, that's fun. She's like, I have to leave it like five today. I don't have any time off. I have to go on a date with Brian.

Who asked someone out on the same day date? You give it to business days at least. It's a very manner for Mars woman or from Venus. And I like it. Cool. I've read it. She's not. She's not really wrong.

And she's like, but then again, Brian lives five, five feet away from me. And I'm like, and I like him. So I'll go. What are you going to wear? I have nothing to wear. I've never seen this side of you. So I'll go. What are you gonna wear? I have nothing to wear. I've never seen this side of you. What is it an iron side?

Because that's new. So, yeah, so while Courtney is preparing to go, reluctantly go on a date, Tanner is simultaneously planning his big breakup with Simone. So, yeah, and he's like saying that he doesn't, you know, he's doing this whole spiel about. He doesn't want people to get like they get on his case when he hits another girl with the club.

You know what I'm saying? I don't want everyone yelling at me. Next time I go up to an employee of a restaurant rob my crotchile over, all right? Yeah, I don't want people to get all up in my business. Next time I go up to a part of a and make out with it thinking that it might be Kate You know I'm saying Yeah, I love that Tanner's acting like he could have been getting all this ass, but he just wasn't yeah

Yeah, like dude the only thing that touched you was employed to be there and she was trying really hard not to touch you And actually like ran away from her post so she didn't have to be touched by you. Please get over yourself. Seriously, he like reminds me of, I don't know if you ever saw the Mary Catholic Gallagher movie with Molly Shannon. Um, but there's, it's like so good and totally, totally underrated and like one of the best scenes is when Molly Shannon makes that with a tree. That is like Tanner in real life though. He'd like literally like he probably thinks like trees are like hot girls. Hey what's going on? You just want to know that I have an opt out policy so if you don't want to kiss me back,

say something. Not saying anything, I'm going to make out with you tree. Kevin is talking to his first love. Look at Ali. He's like, well, I'm feeling good, good about it. See the borough. Yeah. So then Ashton calls his mom. Now, this is like when someone calls their parents right before they get eliminated on project runway or top chef for one of those. It's like Ashton's about to have a really bad day, so let's just humanize them a little bit. Shall we?

Eston? Cool, you're mom. Exactly. So she's like, hi Eston, how's it going? It's like, oh mom, I just thought I'd call to say hi. Oh okay, is there an unconventional materials challenger? I'm not on project runway mom, I'm still on the boot show. But you all making your dresser to vitry then?

It's like, no mom, I'm not on project runway. Would you like to see your five-year-old short daughter who you miss very much and just need her to help you get through the next few days? Mom, I don't even have a five-year-old daughter. Um, Tim, go on a second care of your baby then, innit? Mom, this isn't project runway. Do we want to talk about, do we want to talk about how food saved your life? Want to talk about that? You're just living in the gutter because of your drug addiction? Mom, that never happened

So she's like and he tells us his backstory about his parents divorced destroying him and she's like well How about that other lady then you okay with her? He's like Kate. It'll be Kate mom No, the Heidi girl, the shorter model, she's been fired since then. I'm back, miss her. So then Courtney and Brian go on their date and Tanner and Sins go to have their breakup drink. So first we go to, we're Brian and Courtney

at a bar called Dedeck. It's like Dipasha Fedeck, Dedeck, which also looks like it might only be about 10 feet from the boat. So they go in like a little car and they sit down and Brian's like, do you want some champagne? And she goes, I don't think they have champagne here wearing Thailand. He's like, also what Gondola champagne with the hair here?

She's like, doesn't exist. Yeah. And so then she goes, I'm going to have a negroni. Svealiano. It's like, wait. So you're saying that Thailand is this far flung country, they don't even have champagne. One of the most popular wines in the entire

world. And then you're going to order this super, super specific variant of a necroni. What? I'm also have a number two super sized with a side of honey mustard ranch, please think. Hi, I would really like an old fashioned, but like one that only uses bourbon that's locally sourced to a certain county in Tennessee. Do you have that? Okay, I'll just have the champagne. Oh, sorry, forgot Thailand. So she's like, I'm sorry, I'm a bit grumpy. He's like, well, yeah, look at me. Tron, did you up here? I am. And he's all disappointed and tells us she'll come around

Hopefully wish I had a puppy here. I know, but then he doesn't help matters when he tries to order He's like, okay, he's like, can we get one Negroni? No, Negroni smell. I don't know many times I have to tell you it's like running. Wow So she just sighs and he's like, I don't know what to do. We can go back to the boat and relax. We can go out tonight. Have I actually talked about something? Do something, you know, do something. Ask her about herself. Yeah, like ask her question.

Like just go, what is she supposed to do? Just like go down on you because you took her out someplace, come on. And then I should mention just to finish out this arc of the Negroni that it does arrive. And she just sips it and is like, is it the Negroni with the sparkling wine? She gets, no, it's a regular Negroni. And she's like, by the way, we should also mention that her version of Negron, this version

has sparkling wine in it. I mean, I don't think a regular Negroni does, but either way, whatever it is has sparkling wine in it. I'm like, that's basically the same as champagne. Champagne's just sparkling wine from the champagne region. So it's of that quality. But like when he said, you want to get champagne, just be like, why don't we get sparkling wine? You know what I'm saying? Yes.

I do. She's like kind of like upset that he's dumb, but yeah, you know, I mean, she's I think almost makes me wonder if she ordered the Negroni slaniano and described this ingredients just that way as a test to see if you'd be like, oh, well, if they had a sparkling wine, we can just get that, right? Like, and maybe the fact that he didn't pick up on that was like him filling the test. Yeah, like you don't even know champagne as from champagne. Oh, I got obviously really wrapped up in this whole think-roney situation.

Well, Tanner, Tanner has pulled some on his side. It's like, yes, Tanner. And he's like, you know, to be honest, I feel like we're on different mind waves. It's just like, I think we're on the same mind wave. And there is people that use the word mind wave. We both do it. I think we're a mind wave.

What is a mind wave? And so she's like, no, I'm pretty sure we're done the same mind wave. Because I don't want to lead you on. And she's like, you're not leading me on OMG. When you said you wanted a fun, I knew what you were saying. I got it. He's like, yeah, so what I'm saying is,

I wanna keep the casual. So I'm gonna give you the keys to my apartment. That's what I'm saying. What? I was drunk, I don't remember saying. I was drunk when I said that, so I don't remember that. But you know, I don't wanna hurt you, you know,

like you didn't hurt me. But I just wanna have fun. She's like, okay, that's great, have have fun and so she laughs to make him more comfortable And she's like, it's fine like it's seriously. Yeah, it's like it's amazing how you such a cool chick She's like my god. He's such a fuck boy, you know, Jesus. Yeah, thanks for the thanks for the approval Tanner Thanks for thanks for annuling to me the cool chick So then back on the day, Courtney is just like, I wish I could be lying down like I'm

just getting a lower and lower on this chair. Oh, wait, it's just okay, I'm my only my head is on the chair and my butt is just sort of over. Okay, no, I'm on the floor. I'm on the floor. Well, this morning, I spent a lot of energy and time on this date. I was like, what was it to go, Cart? Like, what was it that was that? You're not owed a good date.

Although, to be fair, she was clearly not in the mood to go on a date, and it's like, so don't go on the date. I feel like the priestess made her go on this date, and she was like, really not in the mood to do it. Yeah, but also, you're dating a sour person, and then you're like she's a sourpuss. That's right. You know, they both they both like had like many different ways to avoid this situation. Like she was not in the mood.

She should have gone on the date. Uh, he's dating someone who doesn't want to go on a date at five o'clock and he should have like picked up on that and yeah, like he said, dating a a therapist she's gonna like a therapist on a date that's what's gonna happen yeah as he's just like she don't think she's a therapist I think that she's just like you know I think she just like she likes she likes she likes things on her own terms and I think that's the ongoing problem I would not even be on a beach I cannot even a walk on a beach it's like so hot here remember her first episode when she was like beating it with she had the words

of beach with Tanner. He's like, Jesus Christ. You'll always like this. Like, yeah. She's not a sourpuss. She's a Ben. You're not a sourpuss. We'll see. And now she's exonerated. That was tricky. He did that. Okay. Here's, here's the, here's all I'm trying to say. For Courtney's likes next line, I just wrote Courtney, uh, uh, uh, uh, so there you go. Yeah, no, I mean, she has definitely a bad date attitude for sure.

If you're gonna do it, like just try to have fun. But at the same time, like I've definitely been someone who's like agreed to a date and then I'm like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna bail on the date because I want to be better than this and I'm going to get my shit together and you think that you're going to pull your shit together and then you go on the date and you're like, I hate this and you just know you're giving stink face the entire time. Yeah, I mean, I just always give stink face.

So like if you're going to be surprised I'm giving stink face, why would you even be with me in the first place? Because when you looked at me from across that crowded room, I was giving you the stink face. So stop your complaining. Okay. Yeah, I'm I definitely am also somebody who doesn't always act on how I'm feeling. There was one time I went on a date with a guy and like some British people like or or I don't know if they were British, but some girls like sat down on the table like like bot sort of table behind my date and they asked him a question about something and he turned around and started responding to them in a British accent and then he started talking with them for 18 minutes, I timed it 18 minutes straight and I was like I should

just get up and leave but I was like I want to see how long he does this because if I am like he just stopped talking he started talking to people in a British accent for 10 minutes. And, but like if I leave now, I don't know how long he would do it. So we did it for 18 minutes. And then when he turned around, I was like, I'm leaving. And he was like, why?

I was like, because you just spoke with a British accent to strangers for 18 minutes on our date. And the point is this, I really should have left much sooner, but sometimes you just stick around for things for no good reason. Like, like this rant, like this story. If you listen to this story, you just, you just did exactly what I'm talking about.

I was trying to figure out if it was talking to the other people. In my mind, I was like, is he mad at the guy for talking to other people for 18 minutes or doing it in an accent It was both I said I said why did you do it in a British accent? He goes just to see if I could I was like Okay, I think we're done here. That in my mind. I was like okay Oh, gosh, so Everyone's getting ready to go out Riley's ironing a hair piece So everyone's getting ready to go out, Riley's ironing a hair piece. I'm just really happy. Yeah.

And then Kevin sees Simone and she's like in a crop top and short shorts and looks really good. And he's like, damn girl, looking hot girl. And she's like, well, I'm not that kind of girl. Let's try and make up, to try and look hot to make it hot, jealous. Throw him, try to punish him a little. Yeah. Yeah. Throw him trying to put him a little. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you just smash and cost you like $1,500 last episode, do you really want smash

and to come out again? And like you keep saying smash is coming out as if smash has been gone for a year. Smash came out like two days ago. Okay. Yeah. You're just at this point you're just not calling. You know, somebody does not. You don't even make me for it. Yeah. Control your emotions. It's like when the incredible Hulk just becomes green and huge all the time, but he's like smart now. He's like, well, I'm just naturally the incredible Hulk. Like, no, you're not. You just ruined it. When did you jump the sharks massed in? Yeah, it's like the incredible Hulk turning green when he's just like having a wonderful time and it just

becomes the Hulk. You're like, wait a second. I thought you only are the Hulk when you're angry. Oh, so this is like not a special thing. So basically anything I say you can turn to the whole. So why should I even be around you? Yeah. Um, so then Kate is the both of the cars are separated into boys and girls because it's 2019 and like, you know, everybody's new adult. So that's what we do. Boys and girls. Okay. It's like, how was your date? Courtney's like, um, fine. And then the other car Brian's like, she's like how was your date Courtney's like? Fine And then the other car brands like she's a keeper. She's a real keeper Yeah, I think he was trying to convince himself with that so they got to they got to Patong Beach Which is like I guess like the the worst place in the world because it looks terrible

But it was you know continuing continuing Bravo's tradition of sending, it stars to like CD areas because it's like, oh well, here we are at Pat Dong Beach, you know, you can get a piercing, a tattoo, see a ping pong show, and a CD all in one. I was like, oh gosh, please tell me they didn't like Cameron Westcott to this. And nothing ends well after the ping pong shows.

Humbrava, this is just you now. We're just, we're learning this. We are learning that like, it's not just that nothing goes well. It's that people do career limiting things after the ping pong shows. Totally. People ruin their own lives after ping pong shows. I don't know what is happening in these shows.

Yeah. So she's like, wow, look at this. Only place in the world you can find a Starbucks next to a donkey show. They're like, uh, we resent that. The Starbucks is in the donkey show. Okay, it's an in donkey show Starbucks. So illusion illusion club. Yeah, it's like look it's nice to So Brian just clips of everybody parting and Brian's kissing Courtney on the cheek while she texts I'm tired She was probably on Pinterest Did you get the text I just saying you he's like hold hold on. It's his I'm tired because I'm tired.

You got you getting this yet. Did you see the text I just sent you again? It's an emoji. It's a strange shape. Yeah, it's one of the emojis from the end of the emoji menu that no one never uses to show. Just have bored. I am right now. I scrolled for this. Yeah, I scrolled hard. I would love to go home, but I thought I'd be alone in a cab for an hour. I mean, there are ping pong shows. Being outside is even scarier, so. Yeah, so, so, so, so it's like, smash-jins out of his cage as if this is like, great, like, again, it's funny that like we are like, woo, smash and he's wasted and we're like

a plot it's like supposed to be something that we're like applauding and then like but when the girls get drunk and are like a mess it's like oh they can't even control themselves well they're all pretty wasted they all get nice and wasted in this season like everyone they are they are even Kate yeah kids like um so Tanner you feeling like immediate look at look at Smosh looks real good, huh? That's the most like grinding on the floor. You know dance a grass. Jenna mint mint Jenna Broccoli and green beans broccoli and broccoli broccoli is finished soup broccoli and goofs So Tanner's like yeah, you know what though, but I've wanted to hook up with you all season Kate. She's like, uh, you're 25 and also disgusting. You're like a giant oversized peep-odd that you just found at the back of a fridge.

We're gonna hook up and you though it. Whoa, this is my song. And he starts doing the worm and Kate squeals. She's like, oh, it was weird. I know. I know. It was weird. I wasn't really sure what was happening. And Courtney is just sitting there alone giving the biggest thing guy to the dance floor. We've ever seen a bravo. It's just like this look of horror. Like she's watching not like a car wreck. She is, she's just like watching, she's watching like the facade of a building fall down on a sidewalk and kill people like she's just Horrified at what she's seeing. Yeah, and Kate's like so you're gonna have fun, huh? No Okay, do I mean to order you one of your crazy new grannies? No, okay

Yeah, sure don't want one of those fake versions of the new grannies. No, okay Everyone leaves this place shit- faced and Tanner's like, I got a pee, I got a pee. And Ashton's falling all over the place. He's so sweaty. His entire shirt is a darker cue than it never was. And then we get a switch up in the cars. Dun dun dun.

Kate rides with the boys. Yeah, there's still, yeah, there's still sort of like sitting in the parking lot. And Kate is like, like, Ashton's in the way back. And Kate is just in the next row forward. And she's just sitting there. And Ashton like climbs up over her seat and like from above sort of Spider-Man style, tries to kiss Kate.

And she's just like, ooh, and like, scrrum sound to see. Yeah. And then Ashton, okay, Ashton is a damn mess, Riley. Don't leave me in here with them. Tammy Leans over the seat and kisses Kate.

So she kisses him. Wait, no, no, Ashton. Oh, Ashton kisses her first, right? So, yeah, so we'll have a reaction. Ashton goes over the seat and she's like, I have not given him any signs that I want this in fact the opposite and I don't care have like a drunk. I am I don't accidentally make out with someone

Twice so then like then like there's like still more like switcheroo's now ashes like side of the band Yeah, he crawls over her and go leaves the van and he's like I got a He crawls over her and leaves the van and he's like, I got a way. He's like mad and he scares a cat. And so Kate moves in the back and Tanner's like, want to kiss me right now? She's like, not really. So he comes to her disaster. Exactly. They are a disaster.

Wow. So now they're driving. They're on this long drive back to the boat. And Ash is just like, wasted. He's doing that thing where people, where, I don't know, I guess he thinks everything he's doing is just like, absolutely precious. So he like leans over and gives Kate the finger, so she just like, gives the finger back. Say it to my face, Ashton. Say it to my face. Say it to my... And he goes, how about you on my face? Oh my god.

So like, wow, you just put your tongue down my throat again. Again. He's like, you loved it. Yeah, and I loved it. And I love that. It's like, you know, who that is? Like stop touching me because he keeps trying to like, he's like powing at her.

And he's like, yeah, you should be so lucky. And I should be that drunk. So like, oh, really? Cause I have been that so lucky and all should be that drunk. Check, oh, really? Cause I have been that drunk and you haven't been that lucky. So I mean, she keeps a good sense of humor while being extremely sexually harassed. So he's like, calm down, relax. And she's like, you know what? Let's just all go to sleep till we get back to the boat.

So then in the other vote and the other boat and the other van Brian is picking off roses and giving them to the other girls because he got roses for Courtney. It's like he's already cheating on her. It's crazy. So then back to this van Kevin's like oh, Tana. Oh, he's to break the awkwardness. He's like, oh, Tana, they start teasing him about his mom. Yeah. So they're like joking about that. And they're like, oh, Tan, there's mom, Tan, there's mom. And then the case like, well, Ash, what's going on with your mom?

Which I guess later on, I guess her mindset was that she was, she didn't realize that it's like a thing to make fun of Tan, there's mom amongst them. So she was like, what's going on with your mom? Which is, like, I couldn't tell if she was trying to instigate or if she was just like genuinely asking or I didn't really know what's going on with your mom? Which is, like I couldn't tell if she was trying to instigate or if she was just like genuinely asking or I don't really know what was going on, but it was just a question, ultimately,

and Ashton loses, he's like, this sort of fucking weak blow, this is low blow. I'm like, she didn't say anything about your mom, she just asked. And what is the problem with your mom? You were just to your like your parents got divorced when you were little like you're still on friendly What is going on with this mom actually Kate actually said let's talk about something else. Can we not talk about Tanner's mom Let's talk about something else. Action was going on with your mom

That's what she said and he's like No fucking blush. Guess what you were asking about Tanner's mom So I was asking but she was saying it in a way that I was like what is going on with this mom because he's like, no fucking blast. He goes, well, you were asking about Tanner's mom. So I was asking, but she was saying it in a way that I was like, what is going on with this mom? Cause she's like, well, you were asking about Tanner's mom. So I was asking about your mom, which he was saying in that way, like she's kind of taunting, but I didn't know. Yeah, I don't know the story.

I couldn't either. Like I honestly don't know that. I don't remember that story. Of course, I don't remember my mom. All I know is, but yeah, I couldn't remember that story, of course. I don't remember my whole life. All I know is. But yeah, I couldn't tell really what her intention was, but I do know that like, Astron's response was like. Crazy, it was crazy. I think it's such a bit of piss

in for calling my mother out. She's like, what? And so we start crawling over the seat to go out her, which is yeah Yeah, and he's like that's my family brew that's my family and she's like well that was hit anner's family She's what gives you the rope to bring my Dude crawling over the sea and then Kevin's like whoa, well calm down, bro Well, well, calm down, bro. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh and she's like, not so incredible, because I'm in a small space with him and I'm the target of his injury. Yeah. And so, um, Ash is like, what's wrong with you? What the fuck?

Ed's wrong with you? And Hannah's like, we're heading to the hotel. Let's just chill. Okay. And Kate's like, wow, um, you did very good. Tanner. And then he leans over for a kiss and she like gives him like a little pack. Yeah, she like allows it But she's just also like so I mean this is all kind of like I think it's actually I mean When you have a coworker who first like who plants a kiss on you? This is the second time now the first time could maybe be not excused but like okay He was drawing. I'm just trying for anything but now what's happened a second time and on top of that He now raged at you and punched a window.

That is like, you're fired, right? Like in any workplace. That is like, so like, it's like violence, that's way too close to the try to make the kiss, right? Like that is, I'm sorry, like that's like, so like above and beyond, like it's, it's just like it's so bad, right? Yeah.

So it was like kind of like shocking. And then on top of that, then you have like Tanner trying to make a move on case. Like I'm like, whoa, this, I mean below deck never fails to have these situations time and time again, which is unfortunately why I think it like actually resonates with a lot of people because it's a little too real sometimes. Well, and like we all know what it's like to go out and get wasted and stuff, but that's

just crazy, you know, like going psycho and then doing it to the point where it's happening all the time and not just just like getting like too angry and just going popping off every time and then the next stage just being like like, I'm sorry, I was drunk. It's like fuck you then. Stop getting so fucking drunk. Like that's not an excuse. Every single time. Exactly, but they hold K at accountable for every,

like, tiny thing that she does, even when drunk. But like, Ashton literally destroys DJ equipment, punches a window, plants like kisses on co-workers. And it's like, oh well, it's just smashed in. You know, it's like, it's ridiculous. So meanwhile,, they get out of the van and Tanner's walking with Simone and is like, you look beautiful tonight by the way. I'm like, you know what? Like, these guys are ridiculous. They're all class. So Simone's like, I'm going to bed, you know, so Kate comes in at 2.30 and she goes, she's like, where's Riley? Riley was so scary. Ashton's a psycho and Riley's like um I knew that yeah but I've

showed it and Ashton and Kevin are cooking and smoking up the kitchen because you know it's poor like the poor helper what's the cause name? Darian can't do it. Darian, you know, I know Darian's like Turn on turn on the turn on the van turn on the van on the van. What's what's that Darian can't hear you without your microphone? The vents And Kate comes in and she's like, um, don't you think it's smoking here? Don't you think it's my Gainier and ask it's like we're making toasties because oh toasties are the leads of my concern. Then what is your concern? Your behavior about that your behavior

is like didn't talk about it. What do you want about what do you want about? And then he just like instantly goes into surly yeah me while someones like hey Courtney you want to eat straw? I should like yes, so I was not talking shit about your mom. It's like, we make fun of Teenage Mom on the day, lay and it's comfortable with that. And it's my crew, the Iron Man charge of, so please tell me how you think managing my crew's any of your business.

And she goes, and she goes, I didn't know that making fun of Tanner's mother was a crew management style. Like the fact that she could be so funny when like really in such a tense situation is like really shocking to me. I like I stammer. I'm a stammerer in a tense situation. Yeah.

Well, he's just like a drunk idiot and he just passes her. He's like, I'm going to get Tanner then I'm going to get him. It's like I called the stand planner. What fucking kind of cases this? I know I need like hey Tana like what I need you to come on you I need you to put her in a place which is like Ooh, it's just like it's like look. It's just the sort of language that is just Bit of use to really really you know marginalized women or a lot. Or a lot of, honestly, a lot of people.

He's like, let's call Tanner in here, because you're a big bitch boots. So what? So then he goes, Tanner, and Ashton's like, she thinks she has some league to stand on. And Tanner comes in and goes, you think you got something to say? What the fuck?

What's up? You were the one trying to kiss her. She's like, so he was complimenting your mother. So I was complimenting his mother on raising such a gentleman. Huh. Yeah. Ash, it's like you felt like I was taking Tannis mom.

You know less that you fucking think you know. She did not say that that you were attacking Tannis mom and she didn't attack your mom. What the fuck? Yeah, and she's like, yeah, she's like, I didn't know you guys talk about Tannis mom. I go, oh really? You know something.

There was something bit everyone. You do think you're better than the crew doing to you guys talk about Tanner's mom. I go, oh really? You know something. There's something big everyone. You do think you're better than the crew do and she do. Do you feel that way? Do you feel that way? I'm like, well, you're giving her a good reason to. Early in her episode, she literally did say that in a way. She's like, why do I have to do it? Why am I the only person getting my job?

But what's funny is she doesn't even go, no, no, I don't think that. She just looks at him. I'm like, she's like, and you know that she was going to do like a gym helper and look at the camera and be like I do feel that way But like and then Tanner's like she gets away with more people I mean she gets made with more than what other people are given I'm like, did you not hear what Captain Lee said? I mean obviously didn't because he said it in the confessional, but like you know This is not like a this is not a

Democracy, this is a trueocracy, okay, and you know what she earned that that's what happens when you've like work with the same people over and over again Guess what? Sometimes they do earn a little like a leeway because you proven yourself to them and she's been with Captain Lee for like Six years or whatever it doesn't mean she gets off the hook with everything, but like She can pull some shit. That's what's called seniority. Well, I'm also Tana's just sitting there whining like and she gets away just because his boss, you know his Boss Aston his bro like boss. Yes, boo is telling him to do it, you know So Aston's like yeah, and everyone thinks they do it. You can, Kate. Okay, great. Well, got found another chiefs to you. Hi, Quet. Hi, Quet.

I'm gonna leave the boat gracefully. I'm gonna go, I cannot see in this environment. I would like to leave. I'm gonna be graceful. I just would like to gather my things and leave. I'm graceful. I'm a graceful person right now. I'm gonna be very graceful. I'm not gonna lose my mind. I'm just gonna leave the way Caroline should have

left last year just gracefully and quietly quickly. The moment someone who takes me back my family, I'm gonna get emotional. God, you're really, you're really such a huge pile of fail right now. So Riley's like, do not do gracefully do shit Kate. She's like, I am going. I do not want to stay in this environment. She starts crying, which is do shit, Kate. She's like, I am going, I do not want to stay in this environment. And she starts crying, which is so bizarre to me. It's a weird world that I'm not used to.

Yeah, and she's like, I'm feeling uncomfortable in this environment. Okay. Yeah, she's like, start talking to the camera. Like, tell your friends they can troll around. I would like to go right now, like to go. And you're like, wait, ungot it, ungot it. Do you want to speak to Captain Lee? Do you want to speak to Captain Lee? She's like, no, no, I'm just leaving. The producer's like, hey, where are you going? She's like, don't follow me. Don't follow me. Don don't know. I mean, below deck sailing yacht is coming up in the beginning of February,

so I'm assuming that below deck will probably get like a two week, I'm going to say like a two week reunion maybe, and then they will, so I think they would probably have like two or three more episodes. Well, no, they said, I'm sorry, they were saying that there's only two more charters left, so we probably have two more char three more episodes. Well, no, they said, I'm sorry. They were saying that there's only two more charters left. So we probably have two more charters means that we'll probably have like three to four episodes left. Wow, this is crazy. This is it, yeah, this is a tense.

See, I can't wait for this reunion. And I hope Andy gets into it, you know? Because sometimes the blow deck reunions are a little light a little polite and I I'm like I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready for the reunion. Yeah, if they even have one They will they've had reunions recently. They they brought them back. Med didn't But no, Bullock Med had a reunion this year, didn't they? Nope. No? They didn't.

And I think it's because the reunion before that had been so polite and nice that no one was, everyone was just like, well, you did this and I'm very sorry for that. The reunion last time, Jouwau, like cried in a corner. Yeah, and this was like, Jouwau's a big redemption. But who is on, who is on below deck med? I've already forgotten who's, oh no, Jack and Aisha.

Are you sure there wasn't a reunite? I can have sworn there was what? Jesus. You know, I was talking to that and she said there was a reunion, I could have sworn there was a reunion of some sort. I thought there wasn't what it was here um so anyway that brings us to the end of below deck everybody if there was a

reunion obviously it did not make much of an impression yeah um well we're done with this below deck for now that's for sure well for now for now it's Christmas Eve. You know what? What a great show to show in Christmas Eve Touching a big musly man getting wasted trying to make a pass at his coworker and then getting violent right in her face Merry Christmas everyone Geez, no, it's compelling TV. That's for sure. Well, Merry Christmas, everybody. We will talk to you actually later on for Real Housewives of Orange County reunion. Part two. Got it. Bye everyone.

Bye. listen to Watcher Crappens, add free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.