Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: Paleo Riot

Episode Date: November 27, 2019

Rhylee is back on "Below Deck," and she's the perfect person to take on the yacht's reigning douchebag: Kevin. Meanwhile, the primary continues to be horrifically creepy to poor Simone, who just wants to master the fine art of pouring coffee over ice. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all their crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mantelker from the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is a cartoon you can watch on YouTube. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Carrum from the Rose Prick's Bachelor Rose podcast. What's up Ronnie? Hey, Bane

Hi, hi as Thanksgiving week, which is very exciting Everyone's gonna be with their friends and family or maybe just alone who knows but people will be with something somewhere Which I guess is like any other day. So we hope everyone's having a great Thanksgiving week and next week after Thanksgiving is done We are going to St. Louis for a big old show at Del Mar hall We have a very low ticket alert for that. So if you want to come and get your tickets now And then the next night we go to Philadelphia the first show is sold out the second show It's only a few tickets. Well, I don't know how many tickets left to be honest, but there are tickets available

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I think I lost Ronnie. Sorry, sorry. I was coughing and they turned off my microphone. Oh, that's okay. Sorry. It's cold week, everybody. I get to here. And this is, this is one of those weeks. So yes, a very classy episode of below tech. All right. Yeah, we have we open with Whoo pirates, we're are Our pirates are oh Goodness well, I mean I had forgotten honestly when I when I turned on the episode I had forgotten about this douchebag primary and I forgot about this stupid pirate theme and all the stuff and I was like oh God, I forgot how awful this is gonna be and then I had also forgotten that Riley was coming back. So I was simultaneously like grossed out rolling my eyes while also like

Squeeying you know with excitement at Riley because Riley is I mean she's she's she's just like a galvanizing force. Yeah, Riley is a Riley. That's a Riley. Riley is a Riley So it's like well, I know I'm Riley had issues with rass and Chandler, but you know, maybe this is like the Goldilocks, right? You know, just enough Riley. You know, like there's two little two little Riley, too much. Maybe this is just enough Riley. Got it.

Yeah. Maybe this is just enough got it for God it. So I got dammit. I'm still mad at the M. It locks in the three bears. I'm still mad that there was no Joey last season on the boat. Ross Chandler. Joey. Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry. I won't let friends back into my life. I know everyone's like, come, my God, friends. Where am I letting you? So we love friends now. I'm like, I'm fucking Jen Xer and I like friends back of the day. And now realize it's mediocre. I just like, I like that. I'm a fucking Gen Xer and I like friends back of the day. And now realize it's mediocre. I just like, yeah, I like good comedy.

So unfortunately, that precludes me from liking friends. Sorry, sorry, I said it. Well, I think Kate speaks for us all this episode when she says, a pirate party, how basic of you. Assured, a hat, doesn't make it old after childhood. Ha, ha, ha, big argh, ha, for that.

And meanwhile, Brian, who crashed into, like, banged his knee up last time, and now, like, his been like, swelling, and is now like the size of like a hot air balloon, is doing his standard. Money, money. It's even worse. Money. Boone Bernie, Bernie. So it's 10 at 10. I asked 10 at 10. I asked 10 at 10.

And it doesn't like I'm calling this, but unfortunately, it never comes one day. I won't have to fight over this in the meanwhile. So I actually like a whole nighty. And it just because the leg we're bringing a new deck made in. All right. It is someone that I've worked with last season. And I've rightly, it likes the same form. So make a feel part of the team. Right. So she needs

Goddy. Goddard Brown's like, Oh, she's ported the team already. Brue, morning. And then they ask, like, what's our so hey, Brue, are you interested in Riley? He's like, that's a hard no as in I'm hard and I know that I will yes be very interested in it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So then Kate's like, I want more shots up there. So he captally calls Kate up and he's like, well, Kate, there's a new crew member coming on board and her face is like, all right, this is my Reserving judgment face until I have more information. It's Riley. Okay, great. I will go into full Kate annoyed face right now Because this time good to do it with a hook in my hand Be totally different. Yeah, it's Riley. She goes how perfect? It's pirate day and Riley's coming on board. Yeah

Pirates of the why we're being if you get on the joke is a joke. Mm-hmm. So I mean she says I've got it being I got off to a restaurant to eat and then we see a clip up. I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want to do whatever the fuck I want to do why ever the fuck I want to do it. I have it the fuck I'm gonna do it fuck up. I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I wanna do, whatever the fuck I wanna do, why ever the fuck I wanna do it? I have ever the fuck I wanna do it. Fuck, fuck, I have ever wanna do it. You fucking fuck fuck. And you're like, by the end of the season, I love Derrick.

I'm like, I fucking love you. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. Have fun going back to Alaska and killing a million mists.

Have fun. So, it's me while down in the galley. While Kate is up there with the captain, where she has been called, Kevin's like, we as Kate, we as Kate, I need to plate this trisket for someone. Oh, well, she can't do her job.

This trisket will just have to make its way up to the guests on its own, the calling all the deck room. We need 10 people here to carry this one trisket up there. We as Kate. We as Kate. He's such an asshole. But then we see. He only understands food, save through a fast through face food window. What was that about? I mean, meanwhile when

when he asked where's Kai, we cut to Kai with Captain Lee and she's like, um, need your glasses and then she like puts her pirate hook forward and the glasses are like, hangling off, dangling off them. And he just like smiles like, okay, it was like full on 1986 opening credits to a sitcom. Yeah. So he's like, Kevin's like, God, you know, I shouldn't have to be doing this. I should just be worried about the food. It's like, then just fucking worry about the food.

You're kidding me. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, seriously. So, Nate sees that he's got all the deck counts serving breakfast and she's like then just fucking worry about the food you jackass. Yeah, sir. So eight sees that he's got all the deck hands serving breakfast and she's like, wow, that's a new one. Control freak. Yeah. And there's also, by the way, they show a montage of like Kevin saying like feeds ready, feeds ready and Kate like doing other things, but unlike Hannah on below deck, wherever they do this montage, they always cut to Hannah like smoking a cigarette or like playing like a Tari or Like I'm a bunch of jumping somewhere like when they show they show like Kate like taking photos for the guests or making a table scape like

AKA working Yeah, I know she's actually doing jobs. Yeah, exactly. It's like that lazy bitch. She's like wiping the salt off the windows. So, so, so, Ashton's like, I think you're ready to shop, lock it in, take, take, we pick up our new decky. Yeah. And here she comes, here she comes, here she comes. But before she arrives, we have some nice inappropriate behavior from the guest, because we have Shalee. Shalee is the one who's like wearing basically three strings with star of pasties. I'm flirting with Ashton and she's like, ooh, I like your sword. Mmm, and Ashton's like,

you know, it's funny because I often enjoy the game more than getting something out of it, which works out really well because I have gotten nothing out of it this entire season. Yeah, pretty much. And she's like, can I have a back my fat bad and frill? You better watch out, but bad and frill. And I just wrote she's busted. This girl is straight out busted, okay. She's like from the cartoons.

Am I? Yeah, Tanner's making fun of her and he's like, want to touch my dad? Yeah, and then Simone, meanwhile, has been getting fully harassed by the primary the entire time. And she's like, there's like a little wine fridge and she's trying to close it. And this guy, Michael, is like, hey, you want me help you with that? So you're South African and I'm North American. She goes oh

He goes opposite the track. She's still up in my space. I'll add you. Yeah, she's like No, is that a guard on your leg you want that off? So man disgusting And so then we hear about chucking along Got it got it got Got it. Got it. Got it. It's Riley. I guess I caught it.

I'm not really. Hi, Riley. Guess what? You're my roommate. Hi. So Riley is like, hi. She comes on. She's hugging everybody.

And they say, go say hi to Captain. She's like, so one of them grabs her luggage. She's like, I'm capable to bring that luggage up myself. But I have to talk to Captain. Just so you know, just so you know, since to heady, I've been in Alaska. I've killed 10 mousse. I killed a bear. I killed a Yeti. I actually killed a man, believe it or not. And he deserved it. So it was good. And I've just I killed someone while they were actually killing something else, which was also very exciting. So yeah, that's what I've been up to.

So if I don't understand the incident out of the yacht, you're going to get rotten Riley. And I like that Riley is the only one who makes up a drunk drunk opposite of herself when she's not drunk. It's just like the other ones have a terrible part of their personality that comes out when they're drunk and hers is just like Riley. Yeah, just so perrily, just, you know, that's a different name. I was very grateful for it later on the episode. So Captain Lee sees her and he's like, hello, Riles, you know what I did there?

Turned you into a Riles, kiddo. So I just wanna go over a couple of things before we get started, but first I'm gonna scratch the back of my head with my walkie talkie, which is gonna get me real ready. Uh-oh, yeah, that's the spot. That's the spot. Anyway, good talk.

All right, I'll talk to you later. Once hope she doesn't let her dump truck mouth overshadow her wheelbarrow ass. Yeah. Oh my, I actively laughed out loud when you said that. Let's just hope she doesn't let her, let's hope she doesn't let her bulldozer mouth overload her construction site ass.

Ashen Ashen gets to the bridge, please come on. So Riley, Riley sees Ashen. She's like pleasantly surprised. Are you? Okay, okay, I're not ready for this. She's talking like you to now. I don't know what happened. Pleasantly surprised you are.

Yeah. I'm already playing the ride. It just how things are going to go. All right. Treat her like one of the guys. And that's just like I'm having flashbacks. Last year I could deal with it at all and flink, but now the boasting. Yeah, so, um, uh, yeah, so Captain Lee's like welcome aboard Kiddow. So

Riley like heads downstairs to like go to the rooms or whatever and she walks by Courtney and she goes, wow, Riley goes, I gotta learn this boat now, got it, got it. And Courtney goes, I know, it's confusing. And like, Rincol's nose like I hate her already. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just using this ironing. Brian's like, oh my name. And as soon as like we'll stay off it as long as you can.

And you just say, Courtney, Courtney, because yeah, now they have Riley. And Riley's like, oh, so you're Brian, how's it going? Why am I here? Like, what's wrong with you? What's fuck? He's like, one A, and one A,

did you not hear, and money? And she's like, well, happy to be here. I mean, it's fucking hot. God, everything about that guy, Brian, scream fuckable to me. I'm excited to see a lot more of him. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And then Tanner's like, hey, Riley, what's going on?

It's like whatever non-Brian get on my face. It's like, what do you do? It's like, fish in Alaska. So then Michael, the primary is walking around and he's got like a little bird on his shoulder. And he's like, yeah, I still kept on these bird. He kept them manyly. Me and Simone are gonna go South Africa We're gonna go shark diving. Yeah, Simone. You're good at what you do. Yeah, we break some rules Simone She's like oh god, please It's bad enough that I don't know how to make ice coffee, which is admittedly just ice and coffee

It's in the name, but now I have this guy. Oh god. Oh god. I know like, wow, that guy is really sexually harassing Simone. And that's on the show centered around sexual harassment. I even, even I'm noticing it. It's bad. It's bad. Yeah. If a cast member of below deck has to call out how inappropriate you're being, you know you're fucking bad.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. This franchise is the franchise where Brian Azest stick his thumb up hit up a girl's ass in a hot tub the first season of Blow Deck Mad. This is this is bad if you're getting noticed. Yeah um so Riley's like um last year I was left after meeting the decisions I just hope that action makes me feel part of the team this time and And he's like, now I just want it to be an open line of expression.

She's like, have I ever not expressed myself? Here, let's play, let's play some shraids two words. Here's the first word got. Oh, well, I guess I expressed myself a little bit too well. It that's the second word. Okay, we're done here. Oh. Oh, that's right. Okay, we're done here. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh, that's right. I'm trying to put this ice coffee thing. I'm cracking up at it. So it smells like a big, they used for ice coffee. So do I put coffee in a blender with some ice? Gortney goes, no.

Just a rice. Just a rice. She goes, are you sure? She's like, yes. G-E. And then meanwhile, Brian and Courtney are like chatting together and he's like, too, moiny! What's your Instagram?

And she's like, um, well, I followed you and you didn't follow me back. So, I was like, well, I was actually looking for you, but I couldn't find you. I guess on account of my name. I mean, finally find you. It's like, damn, hottie. So then Kate is Kate sees someone making drinks. And she's like, um, Samantha, do you remember who these are for?

Could you tell me so I could look over at their preferences and make sure you're not serving them poison? Which is like, um, and then some girl is lap dancing the main guy. Oh, do not encourage him. I know it's awful. So now Ashin is giving a boat tour to Riley and everything's like, you're the shammies and she's like, got it, got it, got it, double got it, got it, got it, got it.

And then he's giving this tour, and he opens up, they're on the deck, and he opens up some sort of like closet thing, and he is showing her shammies, and he's like, well, this is how you do this, and this is how you do this. And then all of a sudden, you hear Michael at the primary going, my feet burn,

my feet burn, pick me up, pick me up, and he jumps into Aston's arms because his feet are too hot on the deck. It was just like, it almost is like a gym carry character, but unfortunately this person was a real person. And Riley takes him and he's like, oh my God, did you seriously just carry me like that? She's like, yeah, duh, fisherman Alaska.

Do you have it because I have it or more specifically, I got it. So then Kevin's making a salad and he's like, oh, the call just called us up. Well, normally Kate would be taking an insta of this, but she's not here. You know what? Pick up your own fucking cell phone. You prick. Yeah. I can't they they cut the Kate and she's like with the guests like doding on a table. Sorry, she wasn't there for your IG photo,

for your five followers. Yeah, so if she comes in, she's like, okay, I've been like, it's beautiful, I can't wait to serve it, they're gonna love it so much. She's like, thanks, Kate, he's the biggest faker. Yeah, he really is. So, he makes like, he like has like a moment where he's like,

toiland, he has fresh food, so it's like great. So he makes a salad and they bring the salad out to the table. He's like, do it on it. And then Michael, he does this moment right where he's like, he's sitting next to Shalee and he's like, you want some, do you say coins on your chest? Or whatever it was, he basically pours his glass of water on Shalee's chest.

And of course it gets all over her phone, cause her phone's right there. So then she throws water at him, and then everyone goes, Blopkin! I'm like, I don't know what's happening here, but this guy is so obnoxious that he's just like pour water on someone's chest at lunch.

Yeah, and then captain's like, West Free Danter, steaks. I think I'm gonna make a country in Western. on someone's chest like at lunch. Yeah. And then captain's like, what's for dinner? Stakes. I think I'm going to make a country in Western. You get the black bandana. I ran canal. And then the main is posing in the door like, hello, Simone. He's like, that baby, but you. He's so awful. He's like, Sonan, Sonan, we're going shark diving. I'm going to take you with me up in the shark.

You can be the diver. She's like, uh, no thing. OMG! Cammagee! Cammagee! Cammagee! Cammagee! Here comes one right now! Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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And by the way, when Kate says I'm getting some weird vibes from the primary, it cuts to Michael putting his hand down his shorts and make it look like he has a giant boner. This guy is like the worst. How is he not been sued for sexual harassment five million times? Yeah, someone needs to take that helicopter company

immediately. Well, this was Kate's big moment of redemption, right? Because she's like, that's the most boss. It's my job to remove her from a situation like this. So you guys can all be quiet about that thing that happened two seasons ago when a lady touched the stew's side. Okay, everyone be quiet now. I did it.

I should write this. Yeah. This is always how I've handled these situations. Getting ready for dinner. Ashton, Ashton and Brian talk about how their commando and people are going on a sunset cruise and Kevin and Kate are in the kitchen and she's like, um, Kevin, you want to talk over the menu? He's like, Oh, look at that. All right. It's going to be a steak on a plate with mashed potatoes. And she's like, hmm, wow. He's like, oh, I once had a layover in Denver,

so I know how to cook American food. Yeah, mate, mate, mate, mate, mate, mate, mate, which is actually very correct. But you made time. So. Yeah. Don't say about it, sir. Yeah, so, Shalee, so the guests all um meanwhile I've like gone on this like little sunset cruise on the tender

So Shaly is like next to action and she's like it's parade you could tie me up. He's like stop being naughty Stop being naughty. I can't do this. I can't do this up then there's my bono. It's steering the ship now. Okay You're all being driven by my bono Okay, you're all being driven by my bona. And Kay is talking to Riley and because they have to be roommates and kids like look, Rally, I haven't folded a towel for you. She's like, I'm just saying it. If I see a towel, I'm going to fold it. She's like, I'm a sappy as a man.

Oh, I'm a man Alaska fishing crab. Got it. So then kids talking to case making a country table scape and Courtney's like, this is very county fair. And it's the worst kind of county. And when I say fair, it's like fair is in a yelp review. This restaurant was fair. They also show a flash right by the way, speak of Courtney, because I love everything that Courtney does Ashton when that girl was hitting on Ashton

Ashton saying how like this how this really sucks because he's had like no luck with the woman and now that this is the first woman that he like Is having luck with but he can't like act on it So they show a flashback of him striking out with the women and they show him hitting on Courtney and he goes, you know I'd be interested in getting to know you on a more person on level and they just show her face like just blank like, I'm just gonna stare at you until you realize this is a hard pass, yes. Ew. Ew.

I'm gonna look at you the same way I look whenever I pass the county fair. Ew. Ew. Ew. Who cares about counties, honestly, ew. They're like the least interesting district in America, counties, you. What's up?

Wow, you won something for making a pie. Wow, congratulations, you. Wow, the graph, your pig is bigger than the other pigs. Oh, wow, you deep fried something. That's very sophisticated. How about you try to deep fry a tower just getting it's a robar. You are the way to make better more of that name. Congratulations, county.

At one point, someone's got to point out to someone that funnel cakes are neither funnels nor cakes. So you. So Riley is down in the mess with the boys and Tanner's like hey you feeling some moan and I'm okay human jeez so she leaves and he's like yeah I think she's got a little crush on me and Riley goes um she's a little older than you right bar and he goes yeah I'm gonna go kuga hunting she goes um you're gonna kill her with the poison dart like god damn you know I mean to be so fucking little

world Jesus she's like no no because I have some hints on how you can do that killer with the poison dart? God damn, you know, it'd be so fucking literal, Jesus. She's like, no, no, because I have some hints on how you can do that. Have you ever seen in Grizzly Bear having sex with a moose? Okay, it doesn't really happen in real life, but if you kill them both, you can pose them like that. It is so fun. People are mad at me on Twitter right now for posting a picture of me literally killing the googler with my teeth.

So, excuse me if I take it a little personally. By the way, the reason why I keep making these hunting jokes, I realize I never even set it up. Is that if you go on to Riley's Instagram, it's like she's like a big time hunter up in Alaska and so it's like always like, hey, here's a carcass. Look a disemboweled mousse. Oh, it's an antler and like here's 5 million more antlers and I killed them all with my bare hands.

It's just got a f**k. Before you just before you before you at me, fuck you all. It's like very entirely. I'm like, I'm like, I actually didn't have a problem with your hunting. Believe it or not, but now you make me feel like I should have a problem. Yeah, she's pushing it. So then the main is coming onto Simone again and he's like, where's your guard or to leave it in my room? Yeah. And the captain is just disgusted, right? Simone again and he's like where's your guard or to leave it in my room yeah and

the captain is just disgusted right so he's like oh they're my cowboy boots because they're serving drinks out of boots and then we've been drinking out of him captain he's like you are the epitome of lit you know that captain Sandy was like miracles in a boot as part of decor that's yachting that's yachting right there is yachting that is yachting but if her man had done a show it would have been like wow that's great you're serving um foot fungus to the guests yeah she's like oh Hannah I you can't just put a boot on a table Hannah. I mean first of all They're eating in 12 hours, so I don't even know why you haven't got done your tablescape yet So in the kitchen Kevin is

Talking about how difficult it is to solve each individual Brussels route Which is why most people put them in a bowl, little olive oil, and then salt the bowl. Is that what he said? Awesome. Yes, he was pouring. He was pouring sea salt on the each individual Brussels sprout. What?

I think I was like looking away and I thought I heard him say how it's hard to to plate individual Brussels. I thought he meant like taking leaves or whatever. He didn't know how to assault Brussels sprouts. No, it's not that he didn't know how he was just doing each one individually. He's acting like, you know, when people use food tweezers, but they don't really need to. They're like, look at this. I'm blazing a little sea salt right on top of the Brussels. Each one individually. That's basically it. Well, and then he does something that's kind of really obnoxious. So, um, it's going called Seasold right on top of the brussel, each one individually perfectly.

Well, and then he does something that's kind of really obnoxious. So, that's gonna be steaks, and then there'll be sides. So Kevin pretty much asks the entire crew to come, because I guess everything has to be served all at once. And so he has all the guys, or actually I shouldn't say all the guys, because Riley does it too, he has all the decans serve the steak,

and the stews serve the sides. and there was something like very grossly Sexist about that all even though Riley is a there's a female and was part of the deck crew If there was very much like men's or the steak and the women do the delicate stuff on the side It like definitely rub me the wrong way on top of it being totally excessive Okay, it's like wow now I'm a little outside piece, thanks a lot, feel great, feels great. Yeah, she's like I can't live like this. So Kevin's like well first we have grass feed steak served by men and then the people made out of ribs that were ripped out of a man and turned into things with boobies and things

for medicine, their penises into, or serving Brussels sprouts, and then carrot, which all have been individually salted. Yeah. Oh, God. And then a lady is like, wow, that's a large piece of meat. And of course, Michael goes, I heard that earlier. And Captain Lee is like, you know, his horrified face.

He's like, get me the fuck out of here. Yeah. And so Kate checks in a little bit later, goes, how's everyone doing? And Michael's like, well, we like seeing your beautiful eyes. They were doing pretty well. Hey, I'm just saying what Captain Lee's thinking, right? You know what Captain Lee was like.

Well, if my boot weren't currently occupying by some marigolds, it would be on my foot and up his ass. Yeah, he's like, with that, I'll bet it do. Yeah, you fucking loser. You know, we didn't talk about it earlier. One, there was a quick shot of Michael had put like the parrot on Captain Lee's shoulder and was like, do, do, do, do, do, do do do do do do do do and you know,

Captain Lee was like about to punch him in the face. Yeah, Captain Lee's fucking over this guy. Yeah, so then Kate and Kevin are downstairs in the mess after dinner and he's like, Hey, you, you're like, not great. Wolf, day, well, I'll admit that during dinner, I was pissed at you. You took my job without consulting me

and then made me and the girls literally decide bitches. You made me feel like shit and he's just like, Jesus Mr. Dolps son. And then his excuse is like, well, I've never served a steak dinner with her. And if, you know, she can't take charge of that, then that makes me take charge. And if you don't like me doing your job, then fuck off. It's like you really, you really suck. Just be suck as a person. I'm out of ways to say it at this point.

You really suck as a person, but the stakes on a plate. And then say stakes are ready. And guess what? They'll bring the stakes. I know you're serving fucking steak. It's a steak. Let's just act. You're serving steak to literal like scum of the earth right now.

These are people who are made of algae. So just relax. Yeah. And then Kate comes out that we like. She's like, I've been doing my best to make his job as easy as possible. But if he continues to disrespect my position, his job can be more difficult. I really like that she said that. But also a few episodes, she was like, well, now I'm getting mad.

I'm done being nice. I'm like, you said you were getting mad a few episodes ago, and I need you to be like, I need you to really like bitch, Matt, you're being way like even Kate saying, like, I have to admit, I was really mad during dinner. That was way nicer than Kate has said to previous chefs in the past. Normally she's like, so do you enjoy just like being in her last hole? Do you enjoy like making my work harder? Because that's what you're doing. Okay, bye.

Yeah. Well, I think she's being tricked by him because he's acting so nice to her face. He's really just dissing her in the diary room, you know? Yeah. Well, either way, Michael starts roving around and he finds Simone, he's like, Simone, Simone, when are we going shark diving? And she's, and she like literally looks at the camera

to be like, is someone gonna save me? Can someone save me right now? I don't care that I'm breaking the fourth world right now. So she looks at the camera and she goes, well, I don't really like a shark diving, OMG, and he's like, ever. She's like, yeah, yeah. Uh, can I leave?

Please, please, I don't agree with the concept of Shark Davi. How about that? Will that work? Yeah, and she's telling Simone. She's like, uh, called, it's unnerving, like an enormous situation. I'd say something. And Courtney's like, yeah, I need to be like that

from his photo. Ugh, I can just tell. She's like, oh, but I thought it'd be a nice geek and Courtney goes now look at him He probably likes a county fair Yeah And someone's like god, but then I was just kidding chit chatting but 10 or less not and it was the weirdest thing Oh my god just thinking of him. I feel so much better now You know what Courtney was like should I give her a deal?

I'm getting out on the G. You know what Courtney was like, should I give her a deal, smile with my mouth wide open, that makes it look like I'm so happy for her, but I'm actually passing severe judgment on her. Mm-hmm. It's not just for it. It's not just for it.

Yeah. Ew. So Kate basically doesn't want the woman to be up late with the primary, so she sends them to bed. And then, uh. Courtney's like, yeah, I bet he's like that with every girl in restaurants

all over Florida Which is such a perfect way to put it Yeah, that's not a good reputation to have to be just like that with every waitress in Florida Yeah Every step of that part every step of every step of that sentence is horrifying. It's true. So then final day of charter Yes So that ends his horrifying. It's true. So then final day of charter. Yes. So it's the final day of the charter. Everyone's ready to go.

Kate had some Sabra hummus, so she's perfectly fueled up. It's 6 AM. By the way, it's 96 degrees at 6 AM. Oh my god. Oh my god. I don't even know how to process those numbers next to each other. Tanner is talking to Riley. They're doing the slide. He's like, you want to help me deflate the slide hat to pumps. He got two pumps in yet. It's a little too early for sexual innuendown.

He's like, yeah, well, I'm a big morning sex guy. I'm like, that's usually not the answer. That's not what you reply to when someone says, please, but basically says, can we not have a sexual innuendown at this moment? You don't then like double down and like give us a terrible image. So Kate's doing flowers and she's like, when you're staring at the dying, quilting flowers and you're like, I get it. And Captain Lee is in the wheelhouse and he sees Michael roving around outside. He's like, oh God, please don't let him come in here. Oh, I don't have my boot yet.

I still got the miracles in it. Please don't. Oh, God. He's here. He's here. Look at that. Yeah. Oh, wow.

What's that at bird? Yeah. My mom has a cacao. Oh, a maca. She loves that thing more than me. Yeah. Wow. God.

So you're captain. I'm the captain too. Oh my dick. Oh. It's pretty crazy. I like to steer chicks into my dick. Captain Lee is just waiting desperately for the serial to arrive and interrupt this moment. Crew, crew, Kate. The primary is awake.

I do rives. Yeah. So Brian's knee is worse than ever. And it's very stressful. I mean, I find that infection drama is very stressful because it could lead to like, imputation and death and like, it's not really a guarantee that the drugs are going to work. So watching his knees swell up, it's very stressful. And you know, so what you will about Caroline, I'm pretty sure I went

on the record saying that I was dressed out about her infected foot also. Uh, but yeah, it did it did lean to some fear brain issues. She did. She did get impotated from the entire show. So, um, uh, but Brian's knee is like real, real fucked up and he can't walk on it and he's like in full brew pain at the moment. So, so that's happening. Yeah, the doctor's like, does your brew hurt? He's like, does your root hurt? He's like, yes, that's what I've been saying. So I prescribed you three brews and a brew. Thank you, Dr. Brew.

Thank you, Brew. So, suddenly, Gally, Michael comes in and he tells Kevin that he wants to survive for breakfast, which is actually, I imagine, a pretty simple thing for a chef to do But obviously Kevin has an exact plan of what sort of breakfast he wants and he's like, oh this guy can just fuck off Fuck this guy, I was chicken steve for I fucking fuck him on the Pirate that he flew in on fuck fuck fuck. The one time that Michael did that. Yeah, the one time that Michael did something that I enjoyed was him making Kevin So annoyed with the chicken stir-fryer quests Yeah, and so the captain's like, uh, wait, has the doctor already left? something that I enjoyed was him making Kevin so annoyed with the chicken surf fire requests. Yeah.

And so the captain's like, uh, wait, as the doctor already left, the doctor hasn't even arrived to be honest. Oh, okay. So that ash in is like, it was a fever tree. It was Captain. And he's like, Jesus Christ. If I got to replace him, it's nothing personal. How can you get by with the one leg of deck hands?

This isn't Captain Hook, all right. Yeah. I was like, you might get into trouble with certain groups, but I understood what he was saying. So then, so Kevin is still, he serves the surf fry and he's like, I hate Pete Bans, his fight solve. Like it's a surf fry dude, relax. Like considering that's a moan is getting aggressively sexually harassed, you can deal with a request for or a fry because you are a chef, and I know that you don't like that word, but you are the chef. Yeah, I think he just doesn't like being called chef condescendingly, I could be, I could be misreading that one. Ashley's like or Astin's like will you know every go to long well with the team But she didn't really like to work met so I'd rather have Royley who aids to the team I was like wow that's a sweet five seconds to start off on We'll see how long that lasts suck. Uh, yes, so they come into poor they dock at 12 o'clock on the button

Yeah, boo yeah, I'm gonna do a little hand punch punch that air kick the air a little bit with a big ol big captain Boo. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good moment for me. Yeah So they're saying hi to everybody and of course the main so gross is like Simone weren't you glad to meet me? God, I'd wife you up any day. Yeah, she needs a silkwood shower. Yeah So now clean time to clean time Yeah. So now the clean, time to clean, time to clean. And now the doctor comes back, like for the 15th time in two days. So he is here. And he has to give, he basically is like, yeah,

that's infected. And Captain Lee goes, you know, the thought that it might be an infection never entered my mind. I'm like, Captain Lee, his knee swollen up and was sensitive to the touch. And basically is green and has like the Musin X monster is crawling out of it. his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, knee, his knee, his knee, knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, knee, his knee, knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, his knee, knee I think I'd rather somebody pull me through the not-hole on offense by my deck and have these guys back He was really on fire Captain Lee he was yet all of them just knocking them out of the park

You know how this guy said when we saw the tip would you be speechless? Well, I was and it wasn't in a good way 15 grand and kick us fucking Michael fuck You and kick us. Fuck you, Michael. Fuck you. So now it's time to clean again and Courtney is back with ironing. And she's like, I'm I'm getting a cramp from the stupid steam button. Where do we find sirens? This county fair. Oh God. So Kevin's like trying to be all jovial, making martinis everybody with the terrible song and Kevin's like wanting to murder the primary, you know, for tipping them shit shit, shit, shit, and he's like, I guess the helicopter charter business isn't going well individually salted Brussels sprouts.

I should have tossed him a bowl like Ronnie said. So Kevin, Ashton and Tanner are talking and Kevin's like, does all these guys can talk about it? Like who on the boat would you want to fuck? That's all they can possibly think of to talk about. So Kevin's like, you can hook up with Courtney, Simone, which one are you going to do? And Tanner's like, which ever one it is, I'm going to bust real quick. Charming lines like that are who is how you're gonna get them into bed too by the way

So they're getting ready to go out and by the way, I mean it seems like Courtney is really thawing with Brian. She gives him like a kiss on the lips. She's like I'm going out There that's what you get. Yeah, I know. They're like little boyfriend and girlfriend now So they they're like in the van and of course, Riley has like an enormous lady bonus for Brian. And who could blame her, obviously, because he's hot. And so she's like, so, Courtney, like, what's the deal with you and Brian, are you like into him?

Are you not into him? Can I fuck him? Because I'm going to fuck him. You won't mind that I fuck him, right? Because I'm going to fuck him, right? And she's like, I mean, I don't know him well. I mean, he's just so cute. So I don't really know him well, which is her way of saying,

he's my lay off. Yeah, Riley's like, well, I haven't talked's just so cute. So I don't really know him well, which is her way of saying he's mind layoff. Yeah, Raleigh's like, well, I haven't talked to all of them. I haven't had time to compare their dicks and Ashling goes, oh, don't worry. Yours is bigger. So then Kate's, they're all sitting down and Kate's like, hey, Kevin, will you order some appetizers, some chicken satay? And Raleigh's like, ew! Riley goes, could you order something keto or paleo for me?

He's like, maybe look at the menu. And tell me what you want. She's like, maybe you should have for the paleo menu. She's, I'm not keto. I just want to eat keto. Yeah. She also, in the midst of this, she burps.

And Courtney's face like you know Where we are really like we like aren't Kenny fair like you burp at the table So it's like yeah, yeah, yeah, she's gluten free too Kevin's like like paleo Keto. What the fuck are you talking about? I don't understand what that's a problem. Okay, like I'd rather drink my calories and eat healthy He's like it's alright. you just annoy me like the others. And so it was such a ridiculous, well, it was a ridiculous fight, but I was actually so on Riley's side, because Kevin is such a condescending prick.

And at like all she did was say, can you order something that's like paleo, or like keto, like that's all she asked. And he was being such a dick about it and the fact that she did not roll over it was like uh no just I want something healthy so I could get my calories from booze like is that really so hard and Kate is just sitting there like oh my god this is hilarious I am such a genius I mean I really did not think I was starting a fight by having by having Kevin order but I did and it's amazing wow

having by having Kevin order, but I did. And it's amazing. Wow. So Kevin's like order, Paleo. Who says that? I'm not the guy back in the kitchen going, oh, we can do that. I'm not your personal fucking chef. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Raleigh is like, how do you, she's like, how do you say, fuck off in Thailand? I don't know. Maybe I'll just say, get it, got it, got it, got it. I was like, we're not just if if you're on a diet, just I'm not on a diet. I eat whatever the fuck I want.

He's like, well, when you're on a diet, you look at the menu and pick. I'm not on a diet. Just fucking explain that. It's like this fights way, way, way too much. And I was like, so Riley, I know. And I was like, waiting for the real Housewives of Dallas, uh, Thailand rules to come up like rule number six. Don't say got it on a beach in bouquette. So, um, so yeah, she's so he's like listen like, um, she's like, she says, she says, listen, chef or something like that or whatever she says, the word chef. And he's like, dude, I'm not your chef all right.

I'm the tauticus chef all right. And it's like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. Actually, what am I saying? I'm so right. I'm the chart against chef alright and Kates like oh my god, I'm so embarrassed Actually, what am I saying? I'm so happy. I love this all Yeah, I'm embarrassed. I mean completely entertained. I never want this to end. Yeah So he's like look just order They said just order what you want check. Um, I said can you add pay the out as an option? And if you don't want to take on a responsibility, then you shouldn't take on a responsibility.

I'm so embarrassed. Oh my god, this is amazing. I'm so, so, so embarrassed. I'm getting more and more embarrassed, but also having the best time ever. Courtney, are you watching? Are you watching? No, yes, it's so good.

Ew. Ew. So Kevin finally just walks away with Tanner. And yeah, with Tanner, just no cigarette a cigarette and he's like eat a dick Yeah, so then back to the table someone's like, I love you. You made me laugh. That's good banter Good banter you had good bents. I say send love Island good bents So Kevin is like so Kevin has this like very condescending thing that again sort of has like undertones of sexism He's like, and

I'll tell you why because he's like, if you're on a specific diet, look at the menu and say, hey, Kev, can I just get that dish just for me? Like, why is it that Riley has to make some sort of like, demure, quiet, simple request to Kevin? Why can't she just say, hey, can you, while you're ordering, can you throw in something, can you throw in one of these dishes, you know, even though it was not like overly sexist for some reason it really I Thought like you would not say the same thing if we were a man Um, yeah, okay, I'll give it to you. Thank you. I think I think that just saying can you order patty out is like a jackass thing to say But I love watching her fight with Catherine. Well, it's an annoying thing to say, but it's not like...

It's your order something? Hey, they up for me. Like, shut up and tell me what to order. I get some boxes to you, but I do love watching her come for Katherine. Well, I think that Kevin could have just been like, I mean, I don't really know what that is, so just find something on the menu and tell me what it is and we'll add it onto it. Like, that's how a normal person responds, but he of course is like, you know, because he's like, well, I'm the chef, so I probably have the best taste.

So, you know, it's just, it was so ridiculous. But like you said, I just, regardless of like how legitimate the request was, it was just totally worth it to see Riley just go after Kevin relentlessly. So that's, so that's when they come back to the table. And she's like, some of us, thanks for ordering the food. And really goes, yeah, thanks for the food chef. And he goes, don't call me chef, I get annoyed. And then I go, should we do some shots? And he goes, yeah, maybe we can do some potato shots, some paleo shots. Is that what you eat? She's like, um, potato isn't paleo. Chef. I thought you knew that. Chef. He's like, look seriously, order your own fucking food. She goes, why are you so, why are you so

fucking offended? Tell me, chef. He's like, it was all casings. She just didn't catch that. And just the way your baseball glove. He's like, oh, god, it's getting worse. I also like that when he said don't call me chef. She goes, oh, for fuck's sake. Thank you, whatever the fuck you want to be called.

And Simone is just like, Riley's doing the dumb thing. So as her then Kevin goes, you're not the special superstar that you think you are, which was like, what was that all about? That's to me that was like some sort of channeling of his childhood and like issues with his father just suddenly came out against Riley at that moment. Yeah. He's like, you will not take the car out before you succeed in the user. You know, download little shit. And then Courtney and Kate have like migrated to another table where they're like smoking or something.

And they're basically like sportscaster to this. Courtney is like, um, they're having a fight about, uh, okay, it goes nothing. He's obnoxious. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now there's, okay. Riley's move her teeth, her teeth are out, ew. A lot of teeth, a lot of teeth, and Kevin is, okay. Kevin's crying saying something about his father and his mother and being abandoned. Okay. It is really fun. Okay. I really like this. Thanks for bringing me over this table. Yeah. No problem. I'm not gonna let it come in. He enroped the boat with this fucking happy family we have. Like, actually so mad now. And Riley's like, what's up, Ashton?

What's up with you? He's like, listen, we've been at many times and we've never had a problem with the crew member acting like this. And she has a crew member or crew members. And he's like, I said members, I said members. I said that. So, a member or members. That's all I said

What do you mean as it meet the crew member or is it crew members? It's our said members go to me. It's you. It's you damage Hey, Ashton. I think you have something behind your ear here. Let me see what it is. Oh, I know it is. It's a got it Got it. It's a got it nickel. It's a nickel with president got it on it. Okay. So yeah, Asha is like, you're the only person who's come in here and calls drama. And she's like, is it me ordering food? That was the drama.

And she's like, why is it my fault? Which is a good point. Like, why is Kevin O'Brien for the drama? Because Kevin is equally part of this. And he's like, yes, it is. Yes, it is, Royley. It is you. It is you.

And you raise your voice. You raise your voice. You raise your voice and Then you see Kate and Courtney like wherever in their little choir and Kate goes Courtney goes that's getting carried away Yes, like that's too much officially and as you just scream shut the fuck up He's like the person who yeah, he's a person who acts too much and the person who reacts too much is the one wrong and Unfortunately in this situation It's ye and they just walks away. I see it's like storming off and brother's like where the fuck are you going? Let's finish it

He's like and she goes the problem is that you don't want to talk about the problem and Tana goes He's not the problem. Just shut the fuck up. What the fuck are you? I'm just so the like, she is just like, so amazingly possessed, but like, I actually, I love her temper, I mean, cause it's not directed towards me, but I love her just being like, fuck off Tanner, who are you?

Yeah, it's a good fucker you, you're not even off this show, he's like, yeah, I am. This is Tanner, he belongs, he's on my crew, he's just, well, where do I belong, Ashton? Where do I belong? Is it you belong in a fishing boat in Alaska? Got it.

Got me a ticket, and I'll be back. I'll just fly on, got it airline, and see you in first, got it class. And that brings us to the end of Bolo Dick. Thanks everyone for listening. We hope everyone's having a wonderful time this week. And I hope everyone's having a great time for Thanksgiving. Go to watchwakrapans.com to get our tickets to our shows and merchandise,

follow us on social media, etc. I hope no one gets a two-stuck in holiday travel plans. And if you do, you can just listen to more crap ends, right? So everyone have a wonderful time and we will talk to you on the next episode, whichever that may be. Love you guys. Bye. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey.

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