Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: Save The Last Lap Dance

Episode Date: November 6, 2019

A casual engagement and a TED Talk striptease highlight another delightful episode of "Below Deck." We're recapping all of it, and if you think we have nothing to say about the davit repair, YOU'D BE WRONG. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And... Mina Kuchikuchi. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthews sisters. And... Mina kuchiku-chiku-chi! Watch what crap is! Watch what crap is! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is! Who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is!

Who cares what crap is! Watch what crap is! movie, crap, after movie, after crap, after crap, after movie, after crap, after movie, after crap, after movie, after crap, after movie, after movie, after crap, after movie, after movie, after crap, after movie, after crap, after movie,ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Houseware as a Kitchen Island new episode dropping this week, yo! And joining me is the wonderful and amazing Ronnie Karam of the Rose Freaks Bachelor's Podcast. What's going on Ronnie? Hello! Hello! So today we are going to be recapping below deck and the reason why I mentioned that is well aside from the fact

That's the top of the show and you should know what we're talking about But like a lot of below deck people live in southern Florida and hey, you know, it's so funny We're going to Florida this week. We have shows in Tampa and in Fort Lauderdale Tampa we are doing the New Jersey premiere. It should be a mausling, totally great. I'm so, so, so excited. You have to be there. And then for Lauderdale, we're going to be doing Dallas, which we have been having so

much fun doing Dallas as our live shows. It's just, it's great. So we don't want you to miss that. Go get tickets at watchacrapans.com. And you know, it's funny. It is Tuesday and Tuesdays are when we announce our new shows and you know we've been to West Palm Beach we're going to Tampa, Florida we're going to Fort Lauderdale. Hey Ronnie why don't we just add Orlando to the mix shall we? Oh

girl I love Orlando I just got stuck in that airport last week and it changed for my life. That is right. We are going to Orlando. It's going to be on April 3rd. You guys know the drill. The pre-sale is actually already started today. Tickets go on sale to the public on Friday. So always make sure to get your tickets while you can. And but wait, there's more.

One of our best shows or show weekends that we ever had was when we went to Charleston, South Carolina. So we're going back. We're going to go to Charleston the very next day. That's going to be so fun. Fourth. Yeah. If you missed out on the Charleston one last time because those tickets sold out in literally

a minute, now's your chance. We're going back to Charleston, April 4th. And on top of that, in March 20th, we're going back to Charleston April 4th and on top of that on March 20th we're going to Vancouver British Columbia so we and we had a lot of fun going up there when we're up there for the just for left festival the point is this there's lots of super fun shows so we got two shows in Florida in southern Florida was southern ish Florida this, and then we'll be back for Orlando in April. And then here is the rest of what's going on. If you didn't get tickets to Crappenscon, don't worry.

We're performing also. Come see us in Indianapolis and in Chicago. Actually, Chicago may be pretty much sold out. But come see us. That's going to be next weekend. And then after that, we have two shows in New York, which are both sold out. Thank you guys. St. Louis, Philadelphia still tickets available to the late show are late shows are the crazy ones

Denver, Seattle, the Golden Crappies, Detroit, Columbus, Ohio, two shows in Austin, Houston, Hoover, Alabama, which is the Birmingham area, New Orleans. That's gonna be amazing. Kansas City area, Omaha and Salt Lake City. So much fun. Go to watch crappens.com and You know your life will just be that much better, won't it? I Hope it will. Well, I'd like to thank whoever invented the mute button on microphones Because I just downed a salad while you did that opening Like the pro. I mean, I down that fucker.

It sounded like I was running through the four. It was like, oh, running. Ronnie's having salad days. What sort of salad was it? It was a salmon, salmon, like Mexican salsa salad from sweet greens. Just love.

Well, I have been yearning for a salad because I was in Thailand for the last week and it's recommended to not get leafy greens because of water situations. And the only reason I mentioned that is the segue into below deck, which is also in Thailand as we speak. Yep, there are Thailand. And there's a lot of people barfing for, you know, many reasons. I also, I will have to say, I want to give, I want to pat myself on the back or at least in the gastrointestinal tract because I survived Thailand with no

problems. I made it through. And I had, I had fun stuff too. So there you go. Everybody else, like did anybody else get massive stomach issues? The only issue was our friend Jenny who was with me. She actually got a heatstroke and Bangkok because it's like a thousand degrees. But no one that I know, I think like one person had like an afternoon of unpleasantness, but we all kind of, we did great. We did we did so well. Wow, that's really good. Congrats.

Shocked. I was really scared the first day. I was so conservative with everything. I was like, because I of course made the mistake of reading an article about like, how to eat food in Thailand and not get sick. And it's like, first, if you notice anyone who like wipes their nose, you probably want to stay away from that food stall. And if this person does that, stay away from that. that and be way of condiments is like all these things So it's just totally paranoid and I was like staring at every stall for like 10 minutes inspecting it before I would like

Maybe consider eating something and then I was like you know it yet to live a little bit Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna I'm gonna just sit on this toilet seat in this public place You know in this public place, you know? Oh, Lord. Party it up over there. I will tell more details about the Thailand vacation, probably on a future bonus episode, and you can talk about what fun stuff that happened in Mexico. But for now, we'll talk about Thailand, vis-a-vis below deck, which opens up with actually appropriately to what we're discussing Abby Puking all over the place

because if you remember from last week, she, she party too hard in Puket and then find up Puking and saying like, sorry, I'm just not going to be available to work at 9am, which is a pretty bold thing to text out. Yeah, and her thing is, you know, I look, we've all had to go to work when we're barfing and it's not fun, but I just like how she phrased it because she's like, I don't know if I'll be on time because I need a toilet nearby. Babe, you're in an ocean. Like, yeah.

You're American, enter an in ocean. America treats the ocean like it's a toilet. So just you, you know, you know, you know, cleaning surfaces, if there's an accident, like you, you're literally equipped to clean up your own. You're literally holding a mop if you're at work. Okay, you're gonna be fine. Yeah, I mean, I just had something

out of flashback to blow deck med this season. When I know I literally heard your brain go click like you just it was like like like like like an old roll of decks on the desk desk you know it's like It's like a carousel started playing. I was basically having that like famous scene from Mad Men and the carousel. Yeah, it's a carousel. It's your life. But yeah, that one dude remember he went and he puked right off the rail And then he he actually puked on a camera man But the point is this people puked on those decks all the time. So puker way just just clean it up. Yeah, they're built to puking on

So yeah, so ashton's mad at hurry now. He's like, let's be honest. I'm like boom bro be able to control mad at her, you know, he's like, let's be honest, I'm like, bone brew, be able to control. So he's really mad. And then they just keep cutting to Abby as he talks about how mad he is. And she's just like sitting in bed looking at her time, he little port hole. It's like orange is the new black, you know, it's just like she's a solitary just sitting there. Yeah, your water sadly. Yeah, and Ash is just getting so mad. And meanwhile, down in the galley,

Kate is trying to gossip with Courtney a little bit because also that night before when they were all drinking, Courtney and Brian was like learning with Courtney some more. And so Kate's like, I'm Courtney, did I know this last night that you and Brian kind of, you know, and she sort of makes us look like we're into each other.

She's like, are you maybe open to that? And Courtney's like, no, why would I ever? Okay, it's like really? Um, yeah, like, uh, he has a good body, but like I care more about a good personality. Like, um, on the seafood rating, he's like, maybe like a small saucer, not a tower, if you know what I'm saying. Um, and I'm not buying this from Courtney at all. Yeah, I really care about a guy's person. Okay, really do you then go date an ugly person. I'd love to see that. Uh, but you're not going to, you're gonna date the hot guy with Jim selfies. Okay.

So stop trying to act. We're so fancy. So you're so intellectual about it. You're not, you're just playing harder to get. The best of us. Wait, I now have to tell a Courtney thing. So this is, it's another Thailand thing, but it ties into, it ties into this. So when I was in Thailand, I was at a restaurant and this giant prehistoric lizard walk by.

It was like the size of a dog. It was, it was crazy. And so I put it on Instagram and I was like what is this and Courtney from this show actually wrote to me and she goes it's like a wana and I just was like I love I just imagine I mean it just said I'll just say it's a goana but I just imagine I'm looking at it like he doesn't even know what a Gawana is. He's really sweet actually, but I just love the idea that she was getting mad about a Gawana. It's a Gawana.

It's a Gawana. Maybe look it up. And Gawana or a Gawana. Gawana. I don't know what that is. I have a lot of stuff. It's a type, well, because of course, it's a general general

There's this whole like genre of lizards called monitor lizards, which are huge and they apparently How about you stop staring at me? Okay government. It's like a little Alexa inside of a lizard. That's just listening to everything you do I know what like what a boring name for a lizard. Like, monitor lizards? Yeah, monitor lizards. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have a cousin named Paul Pass? Yeah.

Bathroom cast. You have a pass to walk in this jungle. Yeah. Excuse me, but less of my check, you should be in class, sir. So you can walk back the other way, Mr. Tiger. Yeah, that's right. This time is for a bathroom key lizard.

Okay. So. But the thing is that, Yeah, that's right this time is for bathroom key lizard. Okay, so But the thing is that Yeah, so their monitor lizards are just like it apparently everywhere which I did not know until saw one and And goanas are a type of monitor lizard that are also in Australia. So hey about that It was a little bit mid for lizards. Yeah, wouldn't education So Courtney like it up No, I'm already learned. I've learned No, if you saw the video you'd be like what the fuck it was crazy It was like a month I come from I come from the desert man. I'm a desert child. I've seen

Many lizards those biggest dogs Okay, fuck I'm sending you the guana video just the Gawana walking in the walking in the water. I'm sending it to you. I don't care. Okay, are you texting it? Are you sending it to get my emails? I'm gonna text it to you. Okay, I'm licking. I'm staring at my text. Wait, hold on, hold on. Everyone, I know this is stop the world. Stop the world. Stop the world. Stop the world. Everything. Okay, where's the Gawana? Oh, there it is. Okay, here I'm sending it And now the goana is has been sent. Okay, come on. Come on in and it. I'm waiting Go on a big go on a time So while you while you're waiting for it to come through go on

I think the reason why it's called Go on is because I one theory is I think that like people thought they were iguanas and so it's how I think they were saying iguanaboo It can go on or something like that. Well I was just asking because I used to work at the iguana grill. Okay, I changed my life. Is that in Florida? No, it's in Austin, when I lived in Austin a long time ago. I used to work at my uncle's restaurant.

The iguana grill on Lakeway Lake. Six unique iguana. Six unique iguana. Oh my uncle would just walk around dressed in pink with like a little iguana on his arm. Okay, so let's see. So Courtney's like, yeah, I'm totally overlooking his body. I'm really into people's personality. They cut to her, trying to iron.

And she's like, oh my god, this iron isn't even on. I don't know. She goes, I honestly don't even know if this is on. Like, it's not on at all. As if the iron chose not to be on, are you even going to try this iron? It's just such a good edit. I really care about a person's character and I don't know how to use an iron. So, judge it.

Judge it. So Abby, meanwhile Abby is still coughing in her room and doing a disgusting, flummy cough and applying face cream and stuff. And so she comes out of her room and people are basically like, you should apologize to Ashton, she's like, really? So she sees Ashton, she goes, hey, I'm so sorry, I just got up at 8.30 and then I threw up and I was like, I need a half an hour Yeah

Just tell you tell your boss. Yeah, it's really it's not but you know Ashton's like but I was just trying to fuck you last night So it's like a different kind of professionalism over on this but so ashton's like Well everybody get the, get around. Now listen, I've been pretty lenient with you. And if you can't keep up with anyone else when you're drinking, that's when you need to manage yourself and say, listen, there's the time to go to bed with my boss on a bonnie pad. All right, I want professionalism.

I want only professionalism on my bed. There's a time for bonnie pad and there's a time for getting wasted. And if you're not sure because you got wasted, that's inaccessible. But if you're not going to show up because you slept with me in a bunny pad, that's understandable. Yes. And she's like, well, he's got a point given me scolding, but rules. She's like, rules in general and not my 14. Cellboat person. I'm a soul person. Yeah, I'm also keep in mind that she was going to go into law.

Like what I know. I mean, thankfully didn't work out because I don't think she'd be a very good lawyer. Given that she's not my forte. Yeah, she wouldn't be. She'd be that she'd always have that judge. She's like, ma'am, you are about to be held in contempt of court. But she would. Well, if you actually if you look at her, she does look like a TV lawyer though, right? I can totally see her in like a little business suit, like walking like into the courtroom. And then the judge says that,

like one more word out of you, Miss lawyer, and we're going to throw you in contempt of of court jail and she just look flummox and then in the next scene she's like complaining to her co-workers about how hard it like like she just wants to do good in this world and then she'll have like a scene where she's with someone like on death row and she's like believes in them and you need to get them off like I can see her being that she could be in that new lawyer show my parents watch it that's the only reason I know what it is. It's damn lawyer shows. Don't leave me alone.

I'm gonna go over there. It's like Fox News, lawyer shows, and doctor shows. So one of the new lawyer shows is like, do good or lawyer. So like, we're taking down a corporation, bra. And so, yes, it's like some do good or do good or show. And she could do that. She'd be like,

there's ten. Here's what I'm saying. There, those corporations killed people with smoking. I'm exhausted. I'm taking a map because I'm from a sale boat. So recess, I request a recess. I'm sorry, Your Honor. I know that our court date was for 9 a.m. but I was puking and I just needed another half hour and I know you might be thinking I'm very unprofessional but to to be fair, I thought I was appearing on Night Court, not a CBS procedural.

So, I have to just say, I feel like we've been robbed of a really good storyline, because this is Kate Winifke's line. So I just got to Kate and she goes, um, Kate crew, Kate crew, Kate crew, Kate crew, crew, crew, crew, crew, crew, crew, the David repairman's here. I need to add also I needed more about that David repair man. I thought it was going to be like a huge story. And then they're just like, we fixed it. The end. I know. Because of last week, it was like, it's a long, slow, expensive, hypnotic, exotic, erotic repair. It's like, whoa. And then this week, like, okay, it's fixed. Okay, Kevin asked in preference sheet meeting. God damn it. All right, welcome to cruise number three. Dinner cruise number three. Ronnie's gonna be singing Proud Mary. Here he comes up. Ronnie put your dish down. God damn you're singing waiter. All right. Put it down.

And our next primary guest does not have a name. So I'm going to pull two words out of a hat and we'll see that that's her name. Okay. And her name is Nicole Singh. Nicole Singh. Okay. A you should not go on a boat if your last name is sink. No, that's just bad luck. And B, you know, this is going to be a basic B, because

her name is McCall. That's like the most boring magazine. Any anyone in my family ever subscribed to. I just like you truly cannot tell which is the first name of the last name. Like, am I reading it correctly? Like is, is like, I'm like, well, it seems like McCall is her first name, but then Sink isn't really a last name, but then Sink as a first name is even stranger. McCall think. And it sounds like one of those names that could be made up, but then you're like, why? Like, why would you? I was like, is she just a brand? Like cooler? Like, oh, like, here's Lady Cooler and her friend McCall sink. Okay, you better get a Macao sink

So she moved a baston a couple years ago. I don't know why that's on your why that's on your list of things to know about yourself nobody cares I kept captain Lee saying that to Warren everyone is like so way if you see a bunch of people who are drunk, who start yelling, ganky suck. Now you know why. Now you know why. Yeah, moved to Boston a couple of years ago. Also she's single, addicted to chartering boats, and she's bringing a group of girlfriends. Did McCall fill this out herself?

I feel like everyone else's preference. She just like, I like beer and I hate fish, or whatever. And her stuff's like, well, she likes long sunsets, not necessarily walking, but she loves sunsets. I love sand beneath her toes, but not in her house. All right? Nicole Sink. She hates leaving dishes in the Joanna.

Oh, I see what happened here. She put sink for the last thing in Joanna for sink. That's all is a clerical error Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney battle and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Beaver,

a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

So Kate's like, God, I'm gonna relieve this small girl trip. Oh, all they do is sleep. Kate's new thing is she just wants people to sleep on every charter. The Zosha cares about. She's gonna draw again. She's gonna be like mommy, dad, and dearest, like head stew department. She's just gonna slowly drug everyone just so they don't need anything.

It's like the most innocent mommy, dad, and dearest ever, where she just keeps putting her child down for a nap. I'm telling you, I would truly make a great charter guest for Kate, because I really want to do anything active, especially on vacation. I have no interest in the slide. The Jetski don't want to go on it, no interest. Maybe that trap is oil or that, no it's like there's a hexagon thing that they put out

every night. No, you definitely, you wouldn't do that stuff, but you definitely be the one who's like, oh my god, they're going to take us on a tender end of the city. And then you'd have people walking around the city. I would be the one that would have people like holding up those giant, like, like each one holds two picking chairs in each arm and having to go up a big thing and be like, oh, I think it's just a little bit longer guys. It's just a little bit longer.

You're right. Yeah, it would be awful on that front. Yeah. But I would not require a beachside picnic. Like I don't need a beachside picnic. No. Yeah. You'd be on your fucking yelp in the middle of the ocean. Like I found a reef with a good type pad tie on it. That's good. Try it out. That is actually exactly what I was doing, like not so long ago. There's no Yelp in Thailand.

Apparently there's no Yelp anywhere else out of the US anymore. But so you have to rely on TripAdvisor, which is real scary when you're like looking at restaurants, because it's always like, Pam, who just learned what Facebook was saying, oh yeah, I went to this wonderful restaurant. It was right there in the main drag had an amazing burger and fries. I'm like, oh, God. Oh, God, Pam.

Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam.

Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God, Pam. Oh, God want my yelp. Yeah, neat yelps important. Don't never trust a Pam. So the captain announces it's just gonna be a tasting menu and I get to have that on night. You know, it's gonna be great to eat this time. Kevin, that would be great when in here.

And you know, we're all this time. We'll work on uh, presentational a little bit and Kevin's like, so is the presentational right? Let's let the last meal. Yeah. I wasn't impressed by it. Yeah. You know what I'm impressed by ice cream. There's been dehydrated and sent into space.

All right. Now I know I know I can't expect the world to get kid, but uh, make an effort. How about that? I mean, in some ways, I was very impressed with your presentation because I swear to God, I've never seen a plate of invisible food before. I don't know how you pulled that off. Invisible canned fish.

Now that's something. That really, that really is something. And you can just see Kevin reliving his childhood with Captain Lee. You know, so you're earning for his father's approval. I know he's like, daddy, daddy. I stole your car at the driver. Did you even notice daddy? Daddy, I made a cheesecake.

Do you like to try it? Did you use ricotta or cream cheese? Cream cheese? And it's not right. And I'm throwing it against the wall. But daddy, go to your cave. And he's like, well, I think I'm pissed kept in captain Leo the other way instead of the feed by his only retaliation is It's hit me where it hurts like oh grow up you fucking baby everyone on the show such a fucking baby this year

Stop your yapping, okay? You're old enough your bald. Okay, you don't get to cry about your father anymore. It's over You know what these people when they come, they should be sitting there and you should be blowing their socks off. Like literally, they should be sitting there in their underwear because you blew their socks off and their socks happen to be attached their pants and shirts and other pieces of clothing minus the underwear. If you don't want an honest answer, I'm not the guy to ask one ask anything else anything at all anything Do you love me daddy? Damn it you cream cheese lover get the hell out of here. Hey, look what we're caught is

Trying me again, all right Kid what a bit of ricotta and cream cheese blend not good enough? Damn it Mr. Dobson Huge storyline coming to an end is everybody ready the david's fixed All right Do you think that Kate pranks people she just calls random people says? Hi the david's fix and just hangs up Hi, is your refrigerator running? Well, why isn't your David fixed?

You know what, that only makes sense to me, but it was worth it. Hi. Can I interest you in a credit card? Just kidding, the David's fix. Oh. She doesn't even laugh afterwards. She just hangs up the phone. Yeah. Oh, okay. So Tanner and Abbey are scrubbing something and then Kate comes out and she's like, do you have a letter? I can borrow you to Tanner. Oh my God. Tanner, you have two

letters. Wow. And so she goes inside and Tanner's like like whoa, yeah, that was so awkward now with Kate, right? It's so awkward now. I was that awkward. She asked for a lighter and you have one Yeah, I didn't understand that either. He's like, you know, here's my plan. You know, I've done everything I can do You know, my whole thing is I like to plant seeds all right So plant seeds mainly because I want a fucker, you know But like the seeds I planted I took grow garden, uh, it sort of garden died. So, you know, I at this point just want a fucker. Yeah, yeah, real nice. He's like, yeah, yeah, I didn't mean it anyway. Just wanted to fuck a, huh? So then Abby is in the mess and you just hear bloop and then she looks at the tax and she goes cute So that's just nice goes head high-bye house like I was just cute

Cute With Patrick I've been naive and stupid thinking he's just my fuck buddy, but in reality we have something special Like being around this many hot guys that I mean really aren't really trying that hard with me anyway It's made me realize oh shit. I'm not attracted to anyone else. Also, I've thrown up on all of them, so yeah, I'm just gonna go back to the sale boat. Sale boat! So, you heard it here first. Abby and Patrick, engaged by default.

Yeah, it didn't seem like that. It's like, well, you know, I I've wanted to play the field and I realized that's not really that fun. So I'm just gonna go fuck the guy on the sale boat. Yeah, so she's so then she Abby's like sort of pacing around the boat and then she encounters Simone and Corny who are in the kitchen and she's like, guess what guys? I got engaged tonight and Courtney And she's like, guess what guys? I got engaged tonight. And Courtney. Courtney's best reaction.

She has a smile. Because she's already like doing like, she doesn't even care in the first place. Like, like Abbey could have said, I have great news. I just found out that I'm the heir to, you know, a dynasty in Uzbekistan. And like, I have thousands of dollars, millions of dollars

to my name and I'm buying lunch for everyone and Courtney still would have been like I really don't care right now. I just would rather just look at my Instagram But she can't just has that like open face smile like This is a sound of her smile Her jaws on the floor. It's like a fake cheerleaders file. It is hilarious. And she just holds it. It's like, yeah, she was like, I know that if I collapse this smile right now, I'm just going to give her the biggest stink face. So I just have to have this big open smile right now. Put an hold it for about 35 seconds. But it's so bitchy because she never smiles. So it's like, it's like, it's a very aggressive move on her. So she just sits there with her jaw wide open and everything. Hailing, inhaling judgment. Yeah, inhale judgment, exhale judgment.

Exactly. So Abby's like, yeah, he said he's lovely the first time for you attacks and I was like, yeah, you two. And then he was like, you want to marry me? And I was like, okay. And Courtney is like, oh, I'm so happy for you. She's like getting engaged on text. A guy you've been with two years telling you he loves you via text. Yeah, my eyes are rolling all the way off this boat. They are rolling really fast. I didn't get to finish my sentence.

I'm so happy for you that you have such low standards for yourself. Must be so easy going through life that way. Yeah, the secret to being happy is just not to really understand sadness. I write. So everyone's like, am I, am I? And so Abby and Kate are talking. And Abby comes in. She's like, so yeah, the Greek captain is coming to Boston after I leave and he's gonna marry me Okay, it's like shut Uh, it's like yeah, yeah, no seriously shut up. Are you telling me a story right now? I'm trying to go to bed shut up

Have you ever been like just about to fall asleep and then you were like really bacon by like a raggedy Andy doll? That's what this is like for me. This is the saddest thing I've heard all day and I literally heard someone say, I've pooped and it won't go down the toilet. Kate will you help me? So you're giving me even a worse experience than that. Thanks a lot. Loser. This is the saddest thing I've heard all day and I literally have been posting on my social media that a david is fixed. It's like money is so cute. It's not like hey look at me I'm such a great professor you know it's like hey wanna get dinner later maybe like spend the rest of your life with me. So Kevin gets a call from his sister and he's like, Hey, man.

And so he's starting now. Now we see we really see Kevin's whole childhood, right? Like he's really doing a good job of paying to get because he's like, yeah, the things were going great, but I'm feeling emotional, you know, because I have to kept in hand my food, where he said, yeah, not so much. And there's no way you say something like that.

So your charter chef and expect him to stay around. Not me anyway. A lot of people would have been like, fuck you. Good luck with the next charred. And it's just like, oh my god, you're not quitting another job. If you show up on my tour of staff, I'm not opening the door. You fucking pussy. Okay.

Yeah. She's like, don't leave the streets and in the border, get in the weave, what you're doing. I was like, whoa, that accent. The street eating with Dean. So now it's the morning. I'm sure Kate is going crazy, waiting to have come face to face with Courtney's second, like, oh my god, did you hear about Abby?

Oh my god, right? Oh my god, it's so ridiculous. Oh my god, right, Kate? Yeah. That was not going to engage my extravaganza. Terror's, Terror's of stupidity. That was not gonna engage my extravaganza. Tarrers, towers of stupidity. That's what that was. Tarrers of disappointment.

I've been. So, so it's the more, so in the morning, Kevin has like a new, he has a new attitude. He's gonna do a 10 chorus meal of the women and really show everyone what's going on. Yeah, he's like, I'm gonna really impress that captain. Don't smash me as a fuck off. Like he can't even commit to it for like five seconds.

So Tannerney is now sick. Everyone's just taking turns getting the poops and the barfs. So Tanner's now really really sick and he just says Germany cricket a lot in barfs is what I wrote Jimmy cricket I feel like shit which was the original original line of dialogue from Pinocchio actually when Pinocchio was carrying with Donkey he was like Jimmy cricket I feel like shit what am I and Donkey now Pinocchio when he becomes a real boy. He just immediately gets the shits. So, ask him that. You wanted, guess what? Swurry, sorry, but real boys get diarrhea, okay? You didn't

know this because we're a puppet, but guess what? You're not a puppet anymore. You're a boy and a boy has to poop, okay? Okay, Jimmy Cricket. Ramona is the new Jimmy Cricket. a boy and a boy has to poop. Okay. Cajunni cricket. Ramona is the new Jumini cricket. Yeah. It's like, listen, it's just gonna give you some advice. Okay, dad made shoes.

Such a loser job. Get a better dad. That's it. That's it. Sorry, okay. Whoa, I heard it's not nice to say japano anymore. No, it's not japano, never mind Ramona. Listen, I met your dad, Jolato, and I said,

Jolato's good as ice cream. That's it! Sorry, right? My favorite pasta is Jopetto, okay? When you wish a pasta star, doesn't matter where you are. Because when you wish a pasta star, Mario comes back to you, okay? But with just friends. So, Ashton is having a meeting with the crew. He's like, oh, we ready to smish it? Mario comes back to you okay? But we're just friends. So Ashton is having a meeting with the crew.

He's like, oh, we ready to smish it? And Abby's like, guess what? I got a text from my Greek bud. We're gonna get married. I said sure. So I'm getting married. And he's like, uh, are you actually serious right, Nate? I was like, I just spent the night in the bunny pair trying to hook up with her and now

she's engaged sort of a sort of weird... AHH! AHH! Hello, hello, hello! He goes, well that changes things. So they're all going through provisions and stuff and kickers. He goes, what's this beef tongue? I thought it was a baguette.

Which, no one needs your beef tongue. Put it away, okay? I don't care about beef tongue. I enjoy it, but I agree. I just would have liked Keto actually thought, like, made like a little sandwich first up. Huh. Turns out this baguette is actually beef tongue,

and the ham and cheeses. Some sort of eel. Um, so Tanner's still sick. Kevin's making New Yorkie, which, you know, he keeps doing things that make me like him, which is weird, because I shouldn't like him. He was really good. It did.

No, he's my favorite, and he calls it No, which I guess people do. I always say New Yorkie, but who cares how you say it? It all eats the same delicious, okay? So she's like, oh, you're making New Yorkie from scratch. Well, this changes everything. And he's like, what does that mean? What does that mean?

She's like, it means I'm gonna need to eat a lot of it. Okay. And he goes, don't freak out, Mr. Dubson. That's his thing. He refers to himself a lot. It's most definitely not the voice of his father Coming through to himself. Yeah Thirty minutes so showtime kids so now the captain is just gonna stalk Kevin and it's hilarious He won't leave the kitchen. He just keeps coming back and like huh, so hang in here goddamn it

Failure, wow, come on inside of failure. Okay, got that one out. Good job. Good job. Try to get you there. Didn't get you. Good job. Have you finished your homework?

Because your mother and I are already disappointed in you. Listen, I'm divorcing your mother and it's the fault of this meokies. All right? I would be around more, but you are so stressful to raise. I think I would spend most of my life in the kitchen. So that's where I'll be away from you. And I'm not saying it's your fault, but if you'd like to interpret it that way,

that'd be pretty cool. So let's meet the guests. Here they come down the dock. And wow, they're a doozy. And they're my favorite kind of guests, who just sound like a late night talk show. Woo! And they're my favorite kind of guests who just sounds like a late night talk show They are cheering and then I cast and like everyone like everyone's like laughing as the woman approached and then I cast a Courtney just looking at them like

I wrote Courtney hateful look Courtney hates that He didn't go on. Oh's like, we can still get away if we hurry. So they come on, they seem really nice. But you know, they're basically that group of girls at the Nickel Machines in Vegas. They're like way too drunk. They think they're saving money by being wasted at the Nickel Machines. Like three of them are wearing veils. You know, like wedding veils.

They're basically all beautiful. Yeah, pretty much. They're all kind of girls. Yeah. They're, they're, they're, they're drunk. They're having a good time and they're like, oh my god, let's jump on the bed. And one girl gets on the bed to jump on it and just immediately like, bonks her head on the ceiling.

Literally me, the first thing I did when I went on a cruise, hit my head. Yeah, those are our girls. So they're taking the tour. They've got a ton of bags and cake cuz. So ladies, this is where we're going to eat and look, you know what, here's some glasses of champagne. So now we can get this party started. Woo! Woo! They just screamed woo for another hour.

Yeah, pretty much. Well, one girl goes, I want to get wet. I was like, ugh. Okay, yeah, there's a lot of that. Yeah, so then Tanner is still struggling with his, with the poops. And then Kevin, no, Kevin does this a lot and it's getting really annoying. It's he kind of like takes things to a place where you're like, ooooh, stop it Kevin, he's making his Niyoki.

And he's like, I always think about making Niyoki naked with a sexy lighty and just you never relaxing with it. But now I'm thinking of Captain Lee saying it's not good enough. I was like, yeah, I don't want to think of you with like, cooking Niyoki naked and like your chest here falling into it. It's just not. Yeah, and anyone who's ever made yokey before knows it, that's not just something you cook naked.

Like you peel potatoes, you boil potatoes, you roll mashed potatoes, you dry them out, you put them through a rice, are you add? Like it's like a long process you chill it Yeah, yeah, I think it's a little make those snakes. Yeah, it's not something you just like whip together naked with someone on your couch Yeah, I don't know what is a sexy thing to make while naked, but I just don't think no key is maybe eating it But like making it yeah sexy to order a pizza like that's what sexy. I don't you don't need to be cooking make it. So, uh, Kate's like, so pan fried yoghidan because he's doing it in the fryer,

which is not the correct way to really do it. Um, but it looked delicious. I have to say, I will have that any day of the week. I know. I was, I wanna make that. So then, Ashton, Ashtolates, if they want water toys, they're like, yeah, and then he like walks away and his one girl goes, let me tell you something. I would tear that shit up. That's gonna happen. She got, that's gonna happen. Then it cuts the cake, walk away going, so gross.

So then, Ashton, Abby, Abby, Ashton, Abby, Abby, Abby, Abby, Abby, come on, put the platform, the tramp, blah, blah, blah. And Abby's like, hey ladies, yeah, look at those mountains. They look like a shift. Yeah, that's right, I'm from Boston. To like, whoa, she's like, what the hell, look at that. I'm from Boston to like whoa First of all by the way, so that Matt that island is like the most famous island I think in in that area These things that I learned okay, but I went away a little vacation. I learned all these things That's called James Bond Island. Okay, so just funny that they were like what is that when it's like the most famous thing?

also And actually if you look at the opening credits at below deck, you'll see if the island that's in the middle of the opening credits, like the logo. But also when she said, yeah, I'm actually from Boston, the way those women screamed cracked me up. I had to rewind it, watch it five times because they don't just scream like,

woo, they are like, is like the most deep guttural, like their souls just became so happy that moment Like Flipping up for cars in the street. Yeah, it was amazing. Oh, so Ashina's getting mad It's like what is she doing up there cheating like she has nothing else to do getting married to some great guy Right after the bunny paid Courtney still doesn't like me. Like he's getting super bitter. Yes, and Brian picks up on it. He's like, well, I think that Aston's coming to in hell, and he's ever since the engagement

because I think that he's pretty jealous, you know what I'm saying? But I think Ashen has a point because she probably has become super distracted once she became engaged. Cause then she thought probably once she became engaged, she A was like very happy and B was already started to think I'm going to be engaged why am I wasting time on this boat I want to be with like my fiance so she's already checked out. Yeah she checked out like two weeks ago. So basically she's playing around with the guests and stuff and he's getting

frustrated so then we cut to my favorite Simone doing laundry So Kate comes down. She's like, hi, how's it down here in solitary? You're ready to get out of the laundry hole. I can tell okay all finish and by finish I mean stare at the dryer go round and round until you get back okay? So go help Courtney open her mouth really wide and judge things So go help Courtney, open her mouth really wide and judge things. It'll be fun. Yeah, you can learn a lot from her. What you do is, while I let her teach her,

she was the trade, but it just involves a lot of like bulging eyes and looking up to the side. It's great, so fun. So, the ladies are like, let's jump off the boat. Who wants to jump with us? Tanner's barfing. The ladies like let's jump after Tanner's barfing Ladies jump music stops McCall dies I'm just at this point. I'm just making up my own show. I just killed off McCall

Yeah, McCall sink. No, I've been called literally sank now her name is McCall sank McCall sank so Thank now her name is McCall Sank McCall Sank so So Kevin and Kate are going over the junior the their menu for the 10 courses and He's being a real dick because basically corny and Simone are talking nearby and he's like ladies Can we have a little bit of quiet in here? I'm really trying to focus here. La la la la Which is like I can't say when people do that so he's barking at them and just like going on about this menu and kids like

Yeah, sounds great. Oh, that's good. All right great. Okay, you know and she's like writing down everything But you know she's just like doing doodles or like writing things like I hate you the David I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Please die. Okay, please fix the So it's like do you think that sniff All right, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do a bloody mix. Bloody Mary mix, but it's gonna be a jello. That's gonna stop the meal. It's like, okay.

And then the temporal prompt, then a lamb, then soup, then sorbet, then truffles, and then a finish. Is that good? And she goes, no, no, no, no. I think 10's good. 10's strong. 10's strong.

So now it's no time. And the cooking isn't full swing. And Kevin's made some sort of garnish for the soup. And he goes, hey, look at this. Looks nice, doesn't it? Imagine that in your soup. And Kate goes, I can't wait. I'm learning very quickly that every meal on this boat is a roller coaster of Kevin Zico.

Okay, this is Kevin's boat. We're just all on it. So then meanwhile, down in the laundry room, Courtney is in laundry hell. She's like, whose pants are these? Like, how does someone even remember everyone's pants size? What's this? Four laundry.

Is this size 34? Oh. He's size 34. He's like my ex-boyfriend did my laundry. I didn't do laundry. So then Tanner checks in with Abby. And she's like, I haven't had one break today and I've been up since six. I can't get used to this. I'm gonna sell both. We have a capatel barn and it's inflatable

and it stays that way but like here we deflate it we inflate it then we put the trampoline is this a jungle gym or a boat like well the difference is that you're on a yacht not a sailing boat okay so that's the difference okay so that's why you don't have just like one little paddleboard I mean she acts like she didn't know what she was getting in she did she clearly did't know what she was getting in, but she clearly did not know what she was getting into. I just, I feel like it's like a not very interesting observation to be like, whoa, this is so much more work than a sailboat.

It's like, oh yeah, you think, run it on. Yeah, every fucking time. She's like a lady who bred horses in the 1800s when cars came out, you know? She's like, oh cars, oh people are seeing it. Whatever happened to horses. it's like, oh, cars, oh, people are seeing it. Whatever happened to horses. It's like, okay, get over it, okay. Motors happened.

You're gonna survive this. Just stick with it, just roll with it. Yeah, so, yeah, so then, so Ashton basically comes by and is like, all right, so eventually everyone's done with this, you can knock off Brew, which I only mentioned because Brew started to make a big, a big comeback this episode. I mean, we had a lot last episode, but this episode was like, from this point on, it was like everything was like, all right, Brew, how do you feel, Brew?

Brew, I'm just trying to talk to you, Brew. Brew. Yeah. So, the captains down there looking at Kevin work or watching Kevin work and he's like, what's up tonight loser? I mean, how are things going, Chef? And he's like, well, I'm doing a few things. He goes, yeah, I figured that one out.

Can't believe I sent you spending $30,000 a year at a school for you to tell me that you're doing a lot of things when you got a lot of things out there. Yeah, real smart. All right. So this soup is called. You've disappointed your mother and she's never gonna heal. God, sounds good. Sounds great. Sounds perfectly mediocre. Can't wait for them to taste that one, huh? Ten courses. That's a tough one. That's a big bite of the apple, which at least meant that someone got to eat something. Don't know what that's like. It's a big bite of that apple. God bless New York City.

I'll tell you that much. So very, he's like, well, this is a bloody Mary mix, Jill Ball. And I was like, I don't know if I'd open with that one with Captain Lee. Just put, he's giant pieces of meat and potatoes on a plate.

Okay, and just count the plates, right? Let's just start there. Yeah, because Kevin's like, when did Captain become so interested in the feud? Okay, it's like, I think when you decide to make 10 amazing courses, you did do 10, right? I know numbers are a little bit of a challenge for you, right? I'm sure you're probably disappointed

to your father many times, right? With your inability to do basic fundamental math, right? Ooh, so they start to serve the food to the ladies and they're having their carrot ginger soup and one of the ladies is like salty, nutty, and they just all start laughing. I love a good group of basic girls. Yeah, and so, uh, so I started writing down with the courses initially, and then I just stopped, but like, I started off after that,

bloody married dressing thing, there was like that soup, and then a homemade brioche with the fwagra and the lamb loin, and then there was like a taco thing and Kevin's like, and it's what you call a taco brew. I was like, oh, brew.

Strong use of brew. Where do I drive home the taco point with a good brew to follow it? Yeah. so then Abby's on the phone with her fiance It's the most row. It's like the notebook So she's like, hi So we're gonna get married. He's like, yeah, I'm very happy to marry you I'm like, yeah, we'll sell away and like if we get a divorce like it'll just be a breakup. We'll be like oh well like it'll just be a breakup will be like oh well

Yeah, if we got divorced it'll just be a breakup and you know be like already was nice And he's like and if we get divorced in how many years or whatever or month of days Those will be the best years or days So then we go to Teresa King mushrooms. Why did I write that? Oh, because that's the next dish is Teresa with King mushrooms. And someone's like, oyster mushrooms. Yeah, Courtney's like, I thought there were oyster mushrooms and he was like,

yeah, it's Zory. He's like, it's like an iron that never turns on. You know that later on when she and Kate are talking to in the box like and then later on he was you know She was saying it was like a king mushroom, but like it was obviously like an oyster mushroom Like part of me thinks that he was like trying to make us fail, but like I don't know like who does that? Is he grifting us this whole time? Yeah, he's like Milla just like faking it the whole time

Yeah, so Courtney goes when I think of my last meal on earth Which I actually think about often it's 10 courses and that's the only time I want 10 courses too much I love that she has like a critical note about her own file on mail Yeah, really Courtney, 10 courses. So now the girl, so like Ashen comes by at one point and, and this girl's like, they're all like, I am in their horny and she's like, she bases like, you know, I wouldn't be disappointed if some strip tease happened. So of course Kate loves this.

And so she tells Ashen, you know, basically the girls want a strip tease and he's like, Oh, well, I've hung up my G string, which we know means that that shirt's coming off in two seconds. Yeah. And he's so competitive because they're like, woo when Brian passes and then he passes and they stop. And he's like, you better say woo to me too. And they're like, huh? That's right. So of course, now he's going gonna drop all his pretence about not wanting to be a stripper anymore. So he can be Brian at something. Yeah, and as soon as Kate suggests that he starts like undulating his hips like back and forth. Like you can't even stop and the camera just zooms in. It's just like it's crotch.

Yeah, when he goes, I hung up my G string. She's like, um, you're not saying no, but you're pelvis is saying yes. So. She's like, um, you're not saying no, but you're pelvis is saying yes. So So, um, so they served us or everything and then they're like, and here's Ashton. He's your 11th course and of course He just starts grinding on that lady. And guess what they do. Well, so he's but he does this weird strip thing where it's like a TED talk. He's like overall it on either volunteer. I'm going to show you some fundamentals to remember when giving a light dance. So wait a minute, stay on your red carpets, sir. That little red carpet. Yeah, listen, I would not listen, I would not object. I would listen, give me a TED Talk too, make it educational as well as sexy.

Yeah. So Courtney is watching behind her with her mouth wide open like, oh my God. And he just keeps on and it goes, you can take the boy out of the strip club dance group. But you can't take the strip club dance group out of the boy. Do we need to do that again? Because I really like saying it. Strip club dance group. Strip Club Dance Group. She really got specific on that one. Strip Club Dance Group. The Davids fake strip, strip club dance.

Have you ever seen a David in a strip club? It's actually pretty sexy. David grows in strip club Brooklyn, so that was fun. Hey, I was in that in eighth grade I was what I was in that was my play Did I spend my podcast? Yep, you sure have and and um The musical where it's like an invisible dream world. What is that called butter? Smash Brick of dance

What is that called butter smash? Jean Briggadine Butter smash Butter smash Butter smash It's part of New Jersey that pierce every 13 years and go there and you'd be like, hey, look at this cool town on the show And you go there and you're like, oh my god, they played the best house music We better find someone that you fall in love with otherwise because not come back from those 13 years. Yeah, oh that girl's hideous She's a butter smash

Butter smash Briggadine I played um No, 13 years, yeah. Oh, that girl's hideous. She's a butt-a-smatch. Butt-a-smatch. Brigadine, I played Archie Beaton, the father of Harry Beaton. And I was the one who would say, in the beginning, yeah, then Brigadine. Very important role, because if I weren't there, you'd never would know what town. Yeah, these people were all like,

is this musical called piquit see? Yeah, I'm trying to like this up on Google maps, but it doesn't actually work here He didn't break it. I'm on trip Pam from TripAdvisor says there's a very good burger shack here There's a good burger shack on that island. It looks like a dick. All right Brick of do an island. Hey, a dick. All right. Brick of Doom Island. Hey, it's not there anymore, that's weird. Uhhh. Yes, but I was in the Tregos in Brooklyn.

I did not have a specify. I had a role that was created for me by the teacher. And I like to say it was a spook role in that in the beginning of the show, I would come out and say, apples, pencils, only a nickel, Mr. So your saying your parents donated a lot of money to that school basically. They're like we're preventing a role for you. Okay. No, I didn't know. They were basically what they would do is because they had to give everyone a role but there was obviously more kids than roles. So like I was Newsy number three and I had like one singing line and that was

it. Hi everyone gets a goddamn trophy. Everyone gets a, gets a goddamn participation medal. You know what it's called? Have talent. And if you're not as good as the tree then get out of Brooklyn. Alright, so Kevin is still trying to prove what? Nothing So Kevin's like I'll go to prove myself to daddy tonight, alright So then the girls are like they can't walk they're basically like the big bad wolf who ate Goldilocks I think he's fed them so so full they're like we're going to bad bite Yeah, so meanwhile the

Brian has been in the kitchen flirting with Courtney and and Ashton goes outside He's like why are the floors not mopped brew so he basically is getting now Ashton's getting really annoyed He's like he's really odd for Courtney Munching on Kevin's leftovers. That's not what a deck can't supposed to do. Brew. So then Ash and Brian have a big brew fight, where he's like, brew, I'll come out here. It's not even, it's not even washed, brew.

He's like, whoop, brew. I haven't washed yet, because I haven't gotten around to it. I was gonna do the half deck less, but brew. You need to do this now and not be in the kitchen brew, but brew. I was gonna get to it, you're actually not gonna brew it up, but I'm brewing it up right now. Whatever, brew.

Yeah, that was a very good rebound to their fight. It's like, I'm not gonna breathe it up, but I'm brewing it up right now. Whatever brew. Yeah, that that was a very good Rebacked minute for fight. It's like I'm mad and hey, do you say that to me? Hey, do you all work? Oh, do you work? Oh, I'm a call break break break Somewhere in the middle there Brie brie brie brie brie some in the middle Brian said like you're being unfair ashton I'm being unfair How could I be unfair? I'm just saying you should be doing your job and I'm being unfair right now I'll come if you call me unfair so it was like an unf then he's like an angry at being called unfair and then brew and all that stuff Yeah, it's like I've got a silver dollar up my cornhole right now

It's gonna. It's $20,000 tomorrow. Hey, is there done fee? And then brands like we supposed to be a team here. Well, that's my exact point Brian We're not we're supposed to be a team here. Oh, that's my exact point Brian. You know, we were supposed to be a team here And you say I'm unfair. I work really hard there. I missed a few things. I'm so I'm not perfect. Oh, it's simple surf breeze simple stuff Breeze So then the next morning, you know people are doing morning things a lady's getting her net cracked really hard and So most back in laundry and hard and so most back in laundry and you know Ashton's joking with the captain about his epilates being so heavy. Comes with the territory, goddamn it. And then Abby gets a text and she's

like, ah, cute. They're really trying to work with Abby here, but she's not giving them much, you know. Like, oh my god, you're going to get engaged. It's going to be that past-to-provo wedding story, and I just like, I got engaged. Yeah, she's gonna be that past Bravo wedding story. I'm like I got engaged Yeah, she's really hoping for that bravo spin-off maybe maybe she'll get like a four episode wedding special Abby and Patrick sailing to the altar coming soon Waiting for the wind to blow the Abby and Greek guy story Sponsor by Oiko

Abby and Zorba So Kate and Kevin are talking and she's like Kevin tells her all right Let them know that on Mayday granola with sweat and blood and she's like, I think all that tears Yeah, about that and he's like, don't do that. That would be just me crying weirdly. And she goes, all right, then I'll say, with my tears as a garnish, okay? Can we settle on that?

Great, thanks. Can we just say, how about you made it with sweat and the disappointment from your father? Yes, I'm glad. So then at breakfast, those ladies are still making those crazy sex jokes when yeah Some of the funny horning out over his cr- over his cream. Yeah, she's like I'd rather have his cream. Oh my god The first she said Yeah, and then down on the crew mass there's awkward tension between Ashton and Brian because they're bruise

But they had a fight last night So they're making like little small talk and Ash and it's like oh I see you're eating a little croissant like making croissant brew small talk. But then Ash and then they have like a really sweet like moment where Ash and it's like you know I think I think I may have come down a little harder and you less not and I think that what I'm trying to just trying to say is that like if I made it sound like you're not a good worker I'm sorry I give give you that impression, but you're actually a very good worker and I just saying brew you got my back up a little bit Brew you hear that it's unfair brew brew brew brew

Basement is hard that's what she said like all right ladies come with that over there So hey, let's let's see what Tanner's up to. He's barfing and pooping at the same time. Fun times. So, then Tanner's like, you know, I'm still shittin'. I just wanna sit around and watch cartoons. All right, I'm a big cartoon fan. Soccer, soccer.

That's really gonna turn Kade on, by the way. Make sure you mention that to her. You watch Rick and Morty, she's gonna love that. Oh, Oh Rick and Morty. Well two people at least have some ambition. Those are two people that Richard killed but whatever. Do they know how to use a david? No. Okay. So then Kate is calling up Simone to me and she's like, okay, Simone, hello. So tonight, since we're not doing a 10 course menu, I'm gonna have Courtney show you service, so you can do that. So you can do lights. And she's like, I've got a lot to do. So ready for noob is I've never seen somebody so excited to you know pour some waters So excited like is she had like a trash?

You stepped out like I'm here. I'm right So case like here's a tray of drinks. So here's what you're gonna do you're gonna carry these tray and It has drinks on it. So you're gonna go outside and give them the drinks. I've got this I've got this and then she gets up to the door, she's like, how do I open the door? Oh, M G, OMG. I was doing so well, damn it, Simone.

So in the crew mode, Simone loves saying things like OMG and WTF. Anything that she could use word letters for, yeah. She basically was like Siri, she's gonna spell out one necessary. So down in the crew mess, there's more attention with Ashton and he basically, he wants to call out, I mean, he,

Brian was one who messed up last night but he also really wants to call out Abby without putting her too much on the spot. So he's like, well everyone, you know, there's just, you know, you know, everyone in the group needs to be more detailed oriented. Some of us have our heads in the clouds and, you know, those red, red clouds, big red clouds that should be bundled up a little bit higher

and gathered together a little bit. Some of those have our head in the clouds, but we just have to get better. And of course, Abby can tell that it's like directed at her. Yeah. And so she's like, well, we're not all ash-jane. So we can't expect all of us to be like him and do exactly as he does. I'm like, yes, that's actually what you should be doing

because he's the boss, I'm telling you exactly how to clean the boat. Yeah, put your hair back, by the way. So Abby and Tanner are talking and she's like, do you think you had the same conversation with Brian or like, was that a conversation about talking to us? And he's like, I don't you had the same conversation with Brian or like with that conversation about talking to us? And he's like, uh, I don't know. I think they talked about it, but I don't think it was designated towards us. I just said, designated, don't know why, or how it fits exactly, but I said it, tell your friends, I like cartoons.

That's it. You have a like, you have a C punky booster, but the cartoon version? God, I remember that. I was like, I remember being a kid and just being like what I'm Shit like an alien friend in her backpack was weird Resort yeah, oh god an oldie better just an oldie. It wasn't really good. It's not like okay I give that a very bad reviews the child's and I stand by. Wow, you really, you really came hard for punky bruce or the animated series. Yeah, I'm not gonna stand for that. Okay, so Leimune, fry, ma'am.

Also, fries is closing. Horrible news, sorry. Is it real? I mean inevitable, it's the world we live in these days. Really though. I went in there and I was looking for a sail because they're closing. And there was no one there. It's like, hello.

Hello, anybody? Did you get the one in Burbank that has like the spaceship in it? No, I was in Wyndon, Texas. But they're all kind of the same. Okay, so anyway, sorry, Frye. It's gonna miss you. Not you, so lay moon.

You can just fuck right off. Okay, so Kevin is making scallops and prepping fish and so He's like god, I've been prepping fish for looking at and someone goes oh I did deal with raw fish I was like shook it and he goes shook it and she goes yeah, shook it He's like He's like, what's up, baby, Mr. Dubson? I don't know why that made me laugh so hard. He just looks at her like she's just making shit up, you know?

Yeah. So now Abby is sulking around. She's unhappy on the bed. Just like the vibe. And Brian bases like, well, listen, this happens on Charters. Like, you'll have low points. And you'll have high points. And this is normal. So like, don't over, don't like, well listen, this happens on Charters, like you'll have low points, and you'll have high points, and this is normal, so don't overthink this. And the meantime, Courtney is like right in your buy.

You always know when someone's listening in, because you might not see them listening in, but the producers always cut to someone frantically running up a staircase. So like in the middle of this conversation, all of a sudden, you see Courtney going up a staircase, up a staircase. So like in the middle of this conversation, all of a sudden you see Courtney going up a staircase and so she immediately goes to Kate and she was like, so I was down stairs and like apparently Abby would sing. She doesn't really like this job. Yeah. She's saying she's depressed. And Kate goes, she's got a Kate. She knows a lot of emotions, a lot of emojis. Well, this, look, you're not depressed, you're just rat. Am I right, is that true?

She's like, yes, just I know. Don't. Courtney, you can just imagine Courtney had that big open smile, but at the end of this time it wasn't to be to pass judgment. It was like, you said that so I'll get. Yeah. You really nailed that one, Kate. I'm so glad I know.

I know, you're gonna be just like me someday. So she's like, okay, would launch it one 30 what am I doing with my life? I don't even know. Yeah. So Simone has to Simone's pouring beers because she's learning the ropes of service. And she really has a ways to go because she pours like four beers and she pours the beer directly into the glass. And of course they get the huge head. And so she's like, they also throw me. And Courtney's like, um, why don't you try tilting the glass? All right, yeah.

She's like, no, they're okay. They're okay. They'll calm down. She's like, they'll calm down. Courtney's like, I'm a true amateur hour. That's a real beer headache, Straffic Ansa, you're working on it over there. Towers of Chang beers.

So now there's like some jet skiing stuff and Abby is like not being very helpful on the deck because it's really hot and she has ginger skin and it can burn and then like Brian is trying to like do something with the slide and she's not pushing where she should be pushing or pulling and he basically tells her that she's not focused. It's like, I am focused. I just don't know what you're asking of me.

Man, that's not a sale blow. Yeah. And so then she goes downstairs and cries and it's like, she wants to leave. She's like, I'm always so happy. I'm not happy. I just want to go to the next place. So, and I'm an overeater when I'm not happy.

And, you know, I'm trying to pull that fucking storyline with me thin person. Okay. That's like when Kevin Bacon's wife, I'm sorry to call her that. I just couldn't think of anything. You're such a... Yes. That showed the closer, which I used to love. She's like, oh, look at me.

I'm an overeater. That's my plot point. Look at me eating muffins. I'm like, you're as big as a fingernail. Please stop with this storyline, Kira Sedgwick. And you two, Abby, okay? I'm not buying you. I'm just a normal girl who's just overeating all day.

No, you're not, okay? Yeah, you're not. You're not. Stop trying to take it. Seriously. Stop trying to take it. And storyline. Exactly. So that was the cliffhanger is Abby gonna quit. I mean, she might who knows. So we'll have to wait until next week to get the deeds on that. But in the meantime, why don't you guys all come

join us in Tampa and or for what? Lawada Dale. We're gonna have so much fun talking about New Jersey and Dallas there. You do not want to miss it. We always have a really great time and we think it'll be a really fun audience. And my aunt and uncle are gonna be at one of the shows. That's really fun and exciting. What? So, yeah, that's right, Uncle Michael and Aunt Cheryl. They're both gonna be at the Forot Lawtadale show, so I don't want to meet some of my family. Come, come by, I meet Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Michael. Wow. We're gonna have a really fun time. So you guys, we'll be back.

We'll be back, I guess, Mannyana or later. I don't know, next up is Orange County. And until then, get your tickets and talk to you later. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.